#which means there's *real* buy-in
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Friendly reminder that A Land for All is an excellent organization that is still, even now, working to create an equitable resolution to the conflict. Please check them out:
I also strongly recommend reading through their full proposal here.
#i/p#המצב™️#jumblr#tbh anyone looking for my ''real stance'' (thanks to that anon for that one 🙄) needn't look further than this#it's led by Israelis and Palestinians who are - may I remind you - the ones currently in danger and who have to live with any solution#and personally nothing I or anyone else in the diaspora can come up with will be better than localized grassroots movements#so I prefer to cede the floor to the people with the rockets actually pointed at them 👍#this also has joint leadership and joint buy-in#and enjoys support from both left and right sides of the political spectrum#which means there's *real* buy-in#I'm sure there will be bumps and rough spots and things that need to be figured out over time#but IY“H Inshallah we will see the day this cooperation wins out
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thinking about how there is a half empty bottle of lotion by rafe’s bed
#canon that he’s either a hygiene freak (because when do misogynistic men use moisturiser let’s be real)#or that he jerks off#he has dove men’s deodorant which i assume he bought for himself#but it wld probably mean someone else got him the lotion cause i doubt he’d go out of his way to buy an organic one in a glass bottle ??#i wonder who got it for him#maybe rose#or wheezie made a hygiene pack for him cause she saw it on tiktok and he feels it comes from a secure enough place to use it and not feel#weird
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thinking about how akio sees his younger self in utena and wondering if there's any fondness there. doesn't change the horror of what he does to her obviously but i do wonder
#akio and utena#m#long ramble in the tags sorry:#the thing about akio is that he's so evil bit he's also so human#he has feelings. i just don't know what they are (if anything) toward his victims#he loves anthy at the very least i'm sure of that. even if he hates her too. just like she loves and hates him. the lines are blurry.#and i just. i have to wonder whether any of that extends to utena at all. we know anthy at times feels similarly about utena and dios#(and akio by extension.) the simultanious love and resentment. so it's not too unlikely i think.#like. even though he never had anything but bad intentions in getting close to her#i'm not sure it's possible to do everything he did and feel nothing#not that he has any meaningful amount of guilt or remorse for it. i don't think that.#and i obviously don't think he “loved” her in any of the ways she might have thought he did#but did he not care at all? did he not feel any kind of fondness or sympathy or just. idk. pity? for her?#whatever the case it wasn't enough to reconsider having her killed so you know. how much does that actually matter anyway#idk. i think about it a lot. how abusers are rarely entirely indifferent toward their victims#the role he's playing in her life is so fucked up but it IS a role he's playing and i wonder how much he you know... internalizes it?#how much does he believe the illusion of family that he invites her into? because akio DOES often buy into his own illusions.#(similarly i think it's possible that akio is fond of touga too. their mentor-protégé relationship is horrible and abusive#but that doesn't make it less real. you know? maybe real is the wrong word.)#when he talks in episode 25 about wanting utena and anthy closer that's obviously so he can continue to groom her#but is there something genuine there too? i don't know.#again. it obviously does not make anything he does better or even different. but it is interesting to think about to me.#on the other side of that coin does seeing his own past youth and naivete and desire to do good that he (maybe) once had#reflected back at him through her mean anything?#is there resentment there? that she is what he couldn't be? or more likely he just thinks that idealism is stupid.#either way it's something he wants to take from her. anyway ramble over.#i talk a lot about utena's feelings toward akio (familial vs romantic love and the way the two are intertwined in fucked up ways)#but not much the other way around. probably because utena is actually a sympathetic character whose feelings the show very clearly#wants you to analyze and think about.#which is... less true for akio i think. though he's still a complex character with complex motives. he's just harder to get a grasp on.
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Scarlet Hollow is today's Daily Deal on Steam which is apparently a pretty big accomplishment! And it's my birthday so you have to buy it if you don't already own a copy ;) It's ~twenty-five percent off~ for the next week, which is as cheap as it'll be until the full release, so if you've been on the fence and have been waiting on a sale, *this* is the sale you want to go for!
#scarlet hollow#sale#horror game#horror visual#slay the princess#y'all have no idea how much of a pest i had to be with steam to get this to happen#but it was worth it#our little game gets to hang out with call of duty which means we're finally a real AAA studio and also monster prom very cool#you should buy scarlet hollow
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wanting to engage socially about the things you like but the community being so nasty and negative that you leave all your groups and threads and revert back to silent obsession
#this is about palia#for real you guys have GOT to chill#I love this free game and god so help me if I see one more person complain about the shop being too expensive#you aren’t obligated to buy anything……… just bc you have FOMO doesn’t mean that s6 is big evil corporation that hates the working class#it’s FREE#it’s IN DEVELOPMENT#the developers need MONEY or they get LAID OFF#which im 99% sure has already happened once with s6? I might be misremembering#anyways don’t come for me im just exasperated at my Reddit and FB alike being flooded with the same BS#at the end of the day. it is free game#free open world rpg#how often does that happen? literally never
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make characters like each other? no.
make one character hate the other with a burning intensity while the other thinks it's funny how hard they try?
yes. always yes.
#sorry hiro#you really are so cat#or kitten really#little kitten man#none of your villains think youre scary#literally all of them are like#“yeah sorry youre adorable not scary”#“time to try and make the child work for me”#looking at you obake#and momokase#and di amara#and krei#except krei is more like#corporate “id buy your house to tear it down” kind of evil rather than real evil#which isnt REALLY evil#but he's mean about it sometimes and steals people's work so#WHATEVER#hiro. kitten man. end of story#big hero 6#big hero 6 the series#hiro hamada#bh6#big hero six#bh6 obake#bh6 momakase#di amara#alistor krei
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Okay children, gather around. It's "Spencer Complains and Acts a Little Mad" Time:
I have been raw dogging life for 1 month without my adhd/depression/anxiety/mood stabilizers medication and without a single Therapy appointment
I haven't left my house in 1 month, I haven't spoken to any of my (in person) friends in over 1 month, I haven't seen my family in 1 month, I haven't seen my bloody cat in over 1 month, I've barely left my bloody room in over 1 month, and I've been listening to my bloody voice almost every day for 1 hour so I can finish editing the bloody podcast for over a month
To top it all of: I haven't had a decent night's sleep in about 4 days now (in which I just don't sleep or I have extremely vivid nightmares with my departed mother and/or scenarios where I die over and over and over again but can't speak to ask for help before it happens - fun for all the family, if you ask me) and I might or might not be completely and absolutely going insane, with only Good Omens season 1 (6/6) and season 2 (5/6) and the existence of Crowley/red haired Fire Pokemon David Tennant Edition being my sole producer of any amount of serotonin
How am I alive? Good question. Beautiful genderfluid demonic content can be some very nice very distracting content for individuals that simp for Fire Type David Tennant Pokemon like myself
I am quite sure my only contact with anything mental health related in the past weeks has been my best friend whom is very very annoying and refuses to leave me the heck alone and whom is a nurse and is working extra time to advice my stupid ass the best she can, bless her heart
So, with my personal nurse's permission, I have doubled my sleeping medication for the night and, as Fall Out Boy once wrote for the song "Alone Together" in one of my favorite albums to have ever been created "Save Rock and Roll": I'll check in tomorrow if I don't wake up dead
#i took so long writing this nonesense for no other reason other than the fact its 2 am and no one makes good decisions at 2 am#that i am actually already feeling sleepy#if my best friend actually manages to give me 1 good nights sleep i will kiss that woman in the mouth and get hitched with her in ibiza#jk shes straight as shit and shes like a sister to me so that scenario is making me cringe but the sentiment prevails#alas dont do drugs unless your doctor tells you to kids#or your nurse best friend#bro im getting so sleepy the word “nurse” aint even looking right anymore#is that even a real word#yes#google says it is#it is not about viking mythology like a thought for about 2 seconds#okay good good nice nice#anyway#i talked about you know what so i have to tag this post for my adhd sake#good omens#crowley#anthony j crowley#david tennant#there#in case anyone cares about a post that mentions crowley for 1 second while in rhe middle of a whole ass sleep drug inflicted rant#lowkey kinda sure ive writen more in the tags now than the damn post jesus christ#hopefully ill be able to have money to buy my medication on the 12th and ill be somewhat mentally stable by the 14th#which means i might actually upload my fanfic next tuesday if my brain is working again#night peeps dont let the bed bugs bite#idk what im saying anymore#my closet just banged by itself and now im scared#sully?#mike?#bo?
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truly nothing worse when there's a good product but its packaging is so incredibly annoying and cringe you loathe to see it in your house
#i dont really use milk for anything but coffee and sometimes baking so it takes a long time for it to run out#so i have decided i can buy a Good milk for coffee. meaning not just regular oat milk but a good brand of oat milk made for coffee#bc it foams a bit differently and it's a bit more heavy so it's v good and also heavier milk is so good when it comes to baking#anyways my problem with that. is that my fave oat milk for coffee is... oatly... and i fucking hate them.#the packaging is like if some buzzfeed millenial hardcore on presenting themselves as vegan but not understanding how any#animal industry works bc they have not researched it and live in a capital city. its like that kinda person designed it#i hate ittt#but its good#im almost out of my oatly so i recently got this finnish brand of coffer oat milk which is fine and what im used to#since it's what we have at work. but it's inferior.#but its better to support finnish profucts and at least its not fucking oatly#but on the other hand waooughh my coffee#also i think i like instant coffee more than real coffee. at least the one i have. its v good.#anyways i also decided to buy a Good shampoo but once again the packaging is so fucking ugly#and every time im in the bathrolm i have to see it and know i paid an insane amount of money for that#wretched thing to be sitting next to my other shower hair stuff#i know there are cheaper curl friendly shampoos than the one i got (four reasons) but i was overstimulated at the store#and it was the only one they got and i wanted out and also i hate to say this. it's a good shampoo.#though the one i had before this was complete shit for curls bc i bought it when i was once again overstimulated at the store#and needed shampoo immediately 😔#leevi talks
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Ok so these designs are cute as hell, the Internet is just mean
I have too many thoughts about a game I still need to watch
#goodbye volcano high#i dont have the money to buy it but god i need to watch a playthrough when i have time it's so interesting to me#like; the theme of 'yeah we're going die but that doesn't mean we can enjoy what time we have left' sounds amazing to me love that#its so funny i was actually watching a review of it that was basically 'this game sucks and here's why'#and then it just started listing off shit like- 'the characters designs are pastel they're nonbinary you die no matter what'#and then my neurons just went off and went '👁️👁️ oh! sounds amazing i want to see more'#fuck yeah pastel nonbinary dinosaurs lets go#well i think its just fang thats nonbinary and then two other trans characters#i saw a cutscene! and it was about the experiences of being an apart of a family as sec-gen immigrant and trans-#and i thought that was cool as hell dont recall ever seeing that in any of thr arts ive seen before (but there's lots of art out there!)#heard it got some glitches tho (havent looked in depth of what those glitches are) hopefully it got patched out#also im so fucking pissed i saw the gator game before i saw this 😮💨 (context; apparently made by people who made a fangame where they#the mc of this game a datable side character and they only have a happy ending if they detransition? which fucking yikes😬)#i saw people say 'oh but they did it empathetically' like how the fuck is taking a canon nb character and making them only happy through#detransitioning empathetic that sounds super fucking shitty and gross#i think a character that detransitions can be done and would be interesting to see- but this just reeks of people being transphobic for real#oh also purple dino has a slug or worm or something apparently! seems cute! just a lil thing#apparently its a rhythm game; listened to some of the songs and it sounded good! sadly i suck at rhythm games#but apparently failing doesn't affect the story? kinda wish it would but honestly better for me lol-#pink one and fang end up dating i believe- from what i saw pink is like- soft spoken artist? dunno if accurate but she's cute#all the characters are cute just look at them!!! awesome#also they have to just continue school like normal before they die and honestly thats so real#also saw people dislike the fact you dont see the characters actual die or the meteor#which is ??? dunno i just think some things are better left implied than shown-#anyways man i keep trying to find neat stuff about the game and all i see is people bitchin about it or praising the shit fan on instead 😔#man if i had two nickles for a time i grew to become obsessed with a media only for loads of people to hate id have two nickles#first nickle is kat elliot she's such a cool character Internet wasn't ready for her#also yes i saw obsessed i can just tell this is something ill go bonkers for#i mean god look how much text is in my tags for this already! and i still need to see the game in it's fullness!#im sure there's other cool shit
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i am at the looking-at-dolls-as-self-soothing part of the night. i definitely wanna beef up my bratz collection since unboxing my alwayz bratz yasmin was just like... oh... oh man... and... and i didn't think it'd be like that for me man i didn't think i had as much nostalgia for bratz as i actually do not just buy owning some but by touching them and playing w their clothes and their hair.
and one of my issues of course is that i'm a redhead and as a redhead my Default Lookalike Doll is meygan (not that having a doll that looks like you is the most important part of bratz, but it is so much of the fun right? the fact that there's a character out there for just about everyone?). and i like meygan as a character well enough, that's not the issue. but of the meygan dolls that have been reproduced, there's none of them that are like, hardcore needs for me except for sweetheart meygan. and i did not buy sweetheart meygan in time. i was not really collecting at that point. that was like 2022. i had a few... na na na surprise dolls at that time. which is funny bc i have four of those that i got all either on clearance or w giftcards and i do really like them even though a lot of doll collectors thought they were kinda dumb, and they were. i just liked the gimmick of the fabric bodies and there were just enough dolls i thought were really cute that i kinda caved at one point. i also knew it was a brand i wouldn't go overboard with. anyway. we were talking about meygan...
sorry meygan back to you girl. i know original 2000s bratz that have not yet been reproduced at crazy expensive on the secondhand market and it's genuinely out of control. but sweet heart meygan, both the repro and the original, are selling for triple digits on mercari, ebay, what have you. that's just ridiculous. frankly. i'm not buying her at that. i don't even like her enough to hunt for her regularly, if that's how it's gonna be. there are plenty of more readily-available bratz dolls that are either regular retail price or clearancing online andin stores. did you guys know alwayz bratz jade is going for 15 bucks on amazon right now? that's crazy. the other always bratz dolls aren't going for that low if they're even marked down yet. that release wasn't even that long ago. anyway i'm thinking of getting jade from that line bc i know some ppl thought that alwayz jade was a let-down, but i thought she was cute. yasmin was my favorite from that line and that's why i got her but jade was my second fave there easily.
i also wanna get the kumi they reproduced sometime and maybe girls nite out cloe since i see she's still available. it's funny there aren't that many core girls i've wanted from the repros but if i go for any of the cloes, new or old, it's gotta be girls nite out. cloe isn't even usually my favorite character no offense blondes she's just kinda. she's just kinda cloe to me. idk i love her but i'm not gagged over her most of the time. these are still bratz standardz we're talking about here so obviously i love her.
there's nothing going on in the world right now other than my bratz dolls. and if someone we won't mention wins the election, i'm definitely going doll crazy. i'm gonna be buying dolls after this anyway, but i'm gonna justify spending an unusual, nearly-irresponsible amount of money. you know. bc i'm an adult and i can.
hey also and of all the lines they could've reproduced why is their most recent slumber party? why? why? when the poll posted by mga had tokyo a go go WINNING? bc tokyo a go go is the correct option? i mean the slumber party line is cute and i like the base dolls and the accessories especially the stuffed animals are cute. but. everyone knows the bratz audience these days is adult collectors. which adult collectors are losing their minds over dolls in pajamas and bathrobes? again they're CUTE. but why. also why did they reproduce bratz babyz when those things were nightmare fuel
#tales from diana#yeah and i have the jimmy paul pride two-pack w roxxi and nevra arriving tomorrow :)#i'm still probably gonna buy all these dolls i'm talking about at some point but i'm just gonna space them out#now is a pretty good time to be a budding bratz collector bc there have been AFFORDABLE OPTIONS once again#but they are not all that way#and i'm so happy for my own sake that i had no emotional investment w the mean girls dolls bc that shit was ridiculous#fuck mga for that one for real#yeah the bratz i have now are the alwayz yasmin and the campfire felicia repro#i should've unboxed felicia first bc i honestly like her better and her hair (being braided) would've been way less of a mess#i have to wash yasmin's hair and im worried about it bc i've never washed doll hair before#but i'm gonna be so honest w you. the state that shit was in? was borderline unacceptable. lol#it's so hard and gelled that i cannot just brush it or anything#the back ie what you could not see in the box is especially nasty... like come on#the alwayz bratz as much as i do like them overall are not the same quality as 2000s bratz. i have to say#not just bc they don't come w a second outfit but the fabric quality and construction just isn't what it used to be#they're still good dolls don't get me wrong. but i feel like they're less pressured bc of how cheap barbies are nowadays#they don't have to put in the same elbow grease to be 'better'#anyway i'm glad i'm talking about bratz dolls which are the only thing that matter in the world to me right now#la la la la la i'm plugging my ears. la la la la la nothing is going on#i have to get a sasha at some point too but idk which one i want? and i want one that's on shelves now not a secondhand. not dealing w that#i think i'll hold onto the hope of tokyo a go go being reproduced bc that's one of my favorite sashas. & she's the best in that line imo#her hair and makeup are just gorgeous and her outfit is adorable#that's like peak sasha and peak bratz to me#but i also like the new pretty n punk sasha. idk. i will wait for suuuuure. don't rush diana#i don't think i wanna have more than one doll of any character before i have a more extensive bratz collection#so who i choose to get for the core 4 is vital... i'm happy w my current yasmin though. the other 3 are kinda up in the air
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I have in one evening talked myself into buying a ren kit from scratch so I can go this year as a gothic knight. I do not get paid to act like this.
#dude my closet is 75% ren faire garb I dont even wear from my femme era. what am i cooking bro#my post#anyways I am so excited to start getting the pieces and putting it together.#NOW ill be even more excited if I get paid a million more dollars before then and I get to buy some snazzy gauntlets but. I doubt that lol#also when I say goth knight I mean the outfits all black with white and steel accents#WHICH btw will look so good w my raven queen symbol. paladin hours.#now the real question is if I slap my elf ears on with this fit or not lmao
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the snack hoarding is starting to get dire lads
#7#v fortunate to no longer be food insecure but i still have this habit of stockpiling snacks in my room. real squirrel mode#i could have 5 packs of an extra large bag of whatever that'll last me 2 weeks each pack but i'll still be like. well if i open another#then i only have 4 left and if i open that then it's 3 which is basically 2 which means i'm on my last life and also what if every single#shop within a 100 mile radius simultaneously shuts for the unforeseeable future and i didn't go buy 10 packs of whatever. i'll die#i could go put all of these snacks downstairs to at least have some space to move around my room but they're MY snacks#and even though nobody is going to eat my snacks what if it like floods downstairs or it goes off bc i forget about it. then i have 0 snack
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I made a plan of reset activities to do over the winter break. I just added to it "sleep marathon"...
I am so tired.
I feel like I need like...2 days of >10h of sleep to get some of my old self back 😅
And then we'll work from there...
#rant in the tags#rant#burnout#studyblr#highly sensitive person#words thrown at the wall#toxic productivity#consumerism#capitalism#fuck this society which tells me on and off social media that every corner of my life should be 'optimized'#optimization meaning cutting down on rest and downtime and time for real learning and discovery and deep work in effort to 'do more'#which if you're admired by the masses means doing more to#earn more money much faster so you can buy all manner of products to make you and your space 'pretty'#according to a rather limited definition of pretty#istg the pressure is *everywhere* and it's up to me to decide how it should affect my mindset#because that will affect how i act#i keep falling into the same old trap#why oh why did we create a society where it's celebrated to live life as if it's a competition to be won?
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「You're thinking 'people from Kansai are stingy' aren't you. ... Actually it's just me who's personally stingy.」
literally me but with uk/europe/whatever distinction americans decide to assign me
#very inaccurrate translation but reckon thats the gist of what its saying#also her dialogues so hard to understand#often ill put something in google translate and it wont know but way more with her#dunno about japanese regional stereotypes at all other than 'kansaiben is weird' which it is and the annoying escalater thing#anyway like europe is definitely stereotyped as stingy and being where ive been like uk is europe which it is anyway but perspective etc#like i tend to forget sometimes people from america and stuff get confused when i talk about 'europe' meaning the not here bit#ive more heard the stereotype that scottish people are stingy not whole uk or specifically england but like i dunno?#when your in a different continent the specific stereotype isnt really relevent and to them im just whatever especially#non english speakers im just european#anyway im just stingy cause im stingy not cause if where im from#though i happen to think all americans are way not stingey enough and weird about money#its weird though even amoung students stingyness is way more socially acceptable in uk/parts of europe maybe australia and nz i dunno#but like americans and japanese people for example tend to not be so much like that#america is like really weird though like the extent theyll act like its shameful to not want to buy expensive stuff for no reason#im not saying being poor is never looked down on here but among normal people its considered normal to not want to burn money#and like not being able to afford expensive stuff? like thats totally normal? i dont live in a bubble?#most people i know are middle class or lower middle class like a lot of them are anyway#though to be fair im mostly talking about americans from what ive gathered from the internet though in real life they are less likely to sa#somethings too expensive or whatever#its funny this is about a regional identity but i compared it to my national or even larger scale one#well cause when you go somewhere else it becomes that often my identity even in my mind is just westerner or non american or english speake
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Good Omens 2 spoilers! You’ve been warned!
I have a lot of feelings about how that kiss and the… not-breakup? went in the final episode. Mostly sad feelings, but also oddly satisfied ones, because I think it’s very in-character for them both.
Nina and Maggie were, as many other people have pointed out, right on the money. Crowley and Aziraphale don’t talk to each other. That’s their whole problem. While talking about their feelings is the obvious bit, there’s also a lot of unresolved issues about their role-swaps in Season 1. When Crowley went to Heaven and Aziraphale went to Hell, they both saw things that they never should have seen. And I would bet my ass that neither of them have brought it up.
Crowley? He looked at Heaven and said, How sterile and cruel. He holds a grudge for how they treated his only friend, as shown by his confrontation of Gabriel. The clear subtext of that scene is that Crowley is trying to protect Aziraphale from the pain of seeing that Heaven has never valued his friend properly. Their morals are a mask for apathy. And, of course, Aziraphale choosing to walk back into that is the worst thing Crowley can think of.
Aziraphale? He looked at Hell and said, How filthy and hateful. It’s clear he’s always put Crowley in a different box from every other demon. There’s lots of moments where Aziraphale makes a comment along the lines of “You’re not so bad after all!” The biggest example this season was the story of Job. What’s more, I would posit that Aziraphale sees Crowley’s defection as him moving closer to the side of Heaven. Sure, neither of them is allied with Heaven, but neither is allied with Hell either. And so Crowley choosing not to continue that movement, especially to be together, given the chance is the strangest thing Aziraphale can think of.
The thing is, I’m pretty sure that neither of them expected this conversation to be relevant. Their defections are meant to be final—no second chances. So when the chance does come along, their different perceptions dump them on their asses.
And it’s no wonder things went so badly. Feelings aside.
#good omens#good omens season 2#good omens season 2 spoilers#crowley#aziraphale#ineffable husbands#the KISS#like#in a larger sense#we don’t ever really even see them talk about the REAL implications of partnering together#like what it means for their personal moralities and so on#let alone their positions in their respective organizations#which is how aziraphale walks away still buying into heaven’s whole deal even if he’s not a part of it anymore#he hasn’t gotten disillusioned properly#meanwhile crowley has#but they never talk about this!!!#which is why it dumps them both on their asses in the worst way!!!
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oughohuggiig i got the 2nd volume of sanctify in the mail today, im so excited to read it
#also! i originally bought the 1st volume bc it was on this little display shelf at a local nerd store that sells manga and#i had my loyalty stamp card thing full so i had a discount to use but couldnt find anything i wanted from their local shop#theyre like a chain#and i saw sanctify on this little display shelf in all its shrinkwrapped glory and decided i literally dont care#and im going to buy an exorcist gay sex manga irl with my real face and use my discount on it bc it seemed interesting#and my god was it a good choice#anyways to the interesting part – the 2nd volume is not shrink wrapped?#which. idc. i did buy the book in a fudanshi way but got hooked on the plot#so im glad the creators arent adding sex scenes just for the sake of having them so i kind of trust the 2nd#volume is going to be as good as the 1st#but it also makes me curious about the 3rd one#bc the 1st one was kind of building up to fucked up yaoi moments#i mean mild spoilers: they didnt habe sex – there was a sex scene but it was like gil's fantasies yknow#i wonder if they included that so ppl like me would buy the manga or bc its building up to something. or both!#anyways im so excited to get to reading the 2nd volume#i also got pink heart jam :3c#leevi liveblogs
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