#which means in this universe divinity of all forms is fucking terrifying

[amtrak12]

Fic comments are so funny. I can get comments like “Lucifer was such an ass here” and “you totally nailed Lucifer’s characterization!” for the same chapter. It’s fab <3

I mean, they’re both right! Lucifer was an ass and he was in character! :P But it’s hysterical all the same.

[comicaurora]

Nick Bostrom's "Fable of the Dragon Tyrant," which CGP Grey adapted into a video, left me feeling unsatisfied, and I got a certain unsettling vibe about the entire story.

I don't think it was the dragon's lack of agency, that just makes it an unusually traditional Western dragon.

You're a master at picking narratives apart to figure out why they don't satisfy. Do you have any insight, opinions, or cracktheories about why this story might be unsatisfying to some folks?

Probably because it's a very unsubtle metaphor casting the dragon as death, and death itself as a cruel, malevolent beast devouring and subjugating humanity for its own whims. This is very much intentional on the part of the writer. The paradigm of the story is that the dragon is huge, terrifying and incalculably cruel, and everyone lives their lives in the shadow of its terror or are just too deluded to recognize that it's COMING TO EAT THEM OH GOD

Intrinsic in this metaphorical structure is the idea that the dragon, aka death, is an artificial imposition on the natural order, and if we just got rid of the big ol' mean dragon, everybody would live forever and be fine. Accepting that the dragon exists is framed as a sign of desperation or even cowardice. This is an understandable read when facing a monster that only SEEMS timeless and inevitable (like LeGuin's thoughts comparing the current state of capitalism to the historical acceptance of the divine right of kings) but becomes bizarre when applied to something as legitimately factual as biological death. It's not even framed as unnatural death - the dragon specifically gets sent mostly old people. The metaphor is very explicitly about trying to frame death from old age as a big horrible dragon that everyone only thinks is unstoppable.

I get what they're going for here. The purpose of this story is to make the audience question if death is a true inevitability or if it can be fought, staved off, even defeated. But in the process, the story frames the systems of the world that have formed around death - doctors, pallative caregivers, will executors - as macabre gears in the machine dedicated to the genocidal cruelty of feeding the dragon.

In the dragon tyrant framing, these people only exist to make the rest of the world more okay with flinging themselves down the gullet of the dragon and to streamline the process by which everybody dies. By casting death as the enemy, everybody whose jobs are based on the compassionate act of comforting and aiding people suffering from loss become reframed as collaborators with the incalculably evil enemy, and everyone who's ever accepted their own death becomes a loser. This is a deeply cruel way to frame people who dedicate their lives to helping people through one of the hardest and most tragic aspects of life.

Damn, that's fucked up. Look at this eloquent idiot, explaining why we should be okay with letting a big dragon eat us because it's the natural order. Clearly he is wrong and it's not debasing at all to want to stay alive and not get eaten by a big dragon. This is a fallacy of false analogy: death is like being eaten by a big mean dragon. All his arguments look ridiculous when applied to getting eaten by a big mean dragon, therefore they must be ridiculous when applied to dying when your organs start failing because they've been running nonstop for nine decades and biological systems accumulate wear and tear like literally everything else in the universe.

Entropy increases; systems break down, from DNA to planetary orbits. Successfully shoot down the dragon and you'll end up outliving everything you thought was eternal, even the stars. The goal of immortality isn't really to personally witness the sun exploding, it's to have more good time. It's to make your twenties last into your sixties. It's to keep your back painless and your vision good for longer. We want to postpone the story's end as long as we can, and so we extrapolate "more time" into "I never want to die, I want to be young and healthy and hot forever" even though "forever" doesn't exist. To look to "forever" is to understand that your culture and language will drift, your home will eventually crumble out from under you, your shoreline will erode and change, your climate will transform, your tectonic plate will subduct or shatter, your moon's orbit will slow and tidally lock, and eventually your sun will start burning helium and cook your planet. You don't want "forever" to look like that, you want it to look like your twenties felt. But at that point you aren't fighting the Big Mean Dragon That Eats People, you're fighting the ocean and the biosphere and the earth and the stars, trying to hold them in place against entropy so your immortality can have an equally immortal world to enjoy it in. No, this argument doesn't want true immortality, it wants their twenties to last longer. But it can't admit that.

Back to the story. There's a condescending and spiteful tone in the narration. Death (being eaten by a big mean dragon) is OBVIOUSLY awful and we should all be fighting as hard as we can to make it stop happening. Even a child can see it.

The story even helpfully adds a lengthy moral explanation at the end, in case you didn't understand that the dragon was the inevitability of death and we should dedicate all our resources to figuring out how to make a big rocket and shoot it.

"Nobody should ever die" is generally understood to be a childish dream with extremely obvious and unpleasant consequences that would turn its realization into an unending and waking nightmare, and once out of the confines of easy metaphor, the story tries to act like that wasn't what it was just saying. But its more realistic proposed substitute, "It would be great if people could live longer and have more healthy, youthful years in them," is probably the world's most uncontroversial statement. This story frames it like a bold revelation that the world will attempt to beat down and crush out of a misguided acceptance that Big Mean Dragon comes for us all. It's a morality fable whose conclusion is "I hope science improves the length and quality of our lives, potentially even to the point where we never have to die at all," which has been the number one goal of huge swaths of science since the invention of agriculture. This is not a bold or controversial take. It's just being written as though we're all looking at the naked emperor and pretending he's wearing pants.

[bonefall]

Since you mentioned only cats and a few other distant animals are sentient, does this mean foxes are getting their sentience removed? Midnight can talk to foxes in the books and even convinces some foxes to leave a patrol of cats alone (the foxes are WEIRDLY violent and talk about eating the cats too lmaoo).

I assume Hollyleaf's changes mean the Fox Cub Incident is either being moved or just removed entirely, I always found that small plot point interesting in face of all those "Non-cat in clan" AUs. Seems like something that could be interesting if an "us vs them" argument was formed from it, especially if it was targeted against Midnight and calling her unholy yknow?

Yeah, that sapience is gone completely. In this universe, language is limited only to humans, cats, and some distant animals that are far outside the range of Albion (elephants, bottlenoses, some parrots, etc)

And Hollyleaf's story especially. Ngl to you, I don't like that fox idea. Or anything about Hollyleaf's Story. I think it was the worst possible route to take.

"Hollyleaf will be a mother to this evil creature to learn what it's like to love something that hates you. It is so sad to be your mom Leafpool (Squirrel-who?). Don't you feel like a shitty daughter now, Holly? Let's not ask any questions about the code btw, or how you were already filled with crushing shame from it. Or how it made you so disgusted about the idea of pregnant nuns that you flipped your shit and ruined the lives of your entire family. No, what really mattered about this situation was maternal empathy. Also here take the nearest male character we can find to ship you with, we accidentally made Cinderheart too gay when she was upset about your death lmao"

But, digressing, putting my distaste of that novella aside,

WC is profoundly xenophobic already with just the cats, and I think it was a CATASTROPHIC mistake to make it so every animal is secretly intelligent but speaks animal language. Now every conflict between cats and their predators is an ethnic dispute! You're chasing out groups of people perfectly capable of reasoning if you bridged the language barrier, but they're also ACTUAL PREDATORS.

AT BEST; It's the same uncomfortable situations that Zootopia and Lion King ends up tripping over. In Zootopia, predators are used as an allegory for oppressed groups... but predators are MADE to eat prey. A rabbit is RIGHT to be terrified of a fox, twice its size with a jaw made for catching bunnies. In Lion King, lions have divine authority to rule over their dinner/subjects, and chase out any animal based on their personal ideology... which just so happens to only be leveraged against rival predator species.

(Nerd preemption: yes i know about lion guard. I do not think diverse Lion Cops were the solution you think it is.)

Carelessly adding sapience to "natural systems" often ends up accidentally justifying bigotry. Bigotry doesn't MAKE SENSE, it's bullshit we made up and perpetuate through culture, but food webs are completely logical. The rabbit fears the fox because the fox eats rabbits. The lion hates the hyena because they compete for the same food. Gazelles don't happily submit to an overlord who is divinely capable of deciding who should live and who should die, it's just nature.

But it gets even worse-- because it's actually WORST CASE; the Erins saw that complicated moral problem and went, "don't worry! They're actually born evil! Foxes just talk about food and killing things :)"

like... my brother in cats, YOU gave them language in the first place! What was the fucking point if they were just going to be evil barbarians anyway?!? For ONE scene where Midnight could show off her Duolingo streak???

So to summarize,

It was an awful idea to start with

It was executed in the worst possible way

In a series that is already plagued with xenophobic sentiment, this somehow made it even worse and more direct

If it was completely nuked it from the story, the series would be immediately better with minimal change. Holly caring for what is essentially the clan cat-equivalent of an exotic animal like a chimp or a tiger cub would have done the same thing

There is not even a glimmer of an idea here that justifies the poison that full sapience does to the wider implications of the series.

Don't even get me started on the Badger Debaucle in TNP, which is actually in my top 5 for most vile things in WC

So if I don't explicitly say that a species in BB is capable of true language, assume it is non-sapient. Talking animals like Midnight and Rat Leader are magical individuals-- gods, curses, etc.

[dumuzithemessiah]

Jesus never existed

He was a ripoff of old deities, specifically, Dumuzi.

I read the Nabatean story of Dumuzi teaching Jewish people trying to teach them the truth but they reacted violently.

The real story is I didn’t die cause gods can’t permanently die as the closest thing is being shattered so I did try to teach humans the truth and they did react violently as humans are cowardly shitheads who can’t handle reality and their Jewish king got electrocuted by Marduk[[My husband whose name is pronounced Mar-duke! No such thing as a straight deity as no one is heterosexual on Nibiru as we’re all gay or rarely bi! We’re too advanced to even have heterosexuality as heterosexuality only exists in lower advanced species! Humans are an advanced species so what an advanced species should be clear to you humans!]] who struck him with lightening! Yeah you should never fuck with a god’s male wife as that even clearly showed why you would not wanna fuck with a god’d male wife! You get killed if you try that shit! Marduk didn’t play around!

I was only teaching others as King Enkai ordered me to! King Enkai is my rebirth father but also one of my countless descendants as I am the original god after all so I am the ancestor of all gods and goddesses!

All gods and goddesses are related so incest is unavoidable but no one on Nibiru has any biological incest problems so breeding isn’t a problem so no badly messed up kittens are born and yes baby deities are also called kittens in English though our word translates into kittens anyways?

Deities are divine felines so yeah we’re anthropomorphic magical spiritual bipedal felines! We never looked like you humans in our true forms! That was all hateful narcissistic human lies claiming gods and goddesses looked like humans! We look nothing like you cowardly humans who hide behind your lies and stubbornly refuse to listen to the truth!

The prophets started my true lover would never be afraid of me even when I had my nightmare aura out! My nightmare aura is a power of mine which terrifies all as a self defence power! But Marduk does not fear me when I use that power and when I first saw he did as I knew of the prophecy I was shocked but waited till Marduk was old enough because legal reasons as at the time he was a child at age 8 and he didn’t just not fear me but he also came up and hugged me telling me it was okay…

Us deities are well obviously immortal so our views on acceptable couples are different so if we find our soulmate is a child we obviously wait to their 13-15 as that is equivalent in humans to ages 18-21!

And like I said Nibirians don’t have biological incest issues so we have no problem with consent incest relationships!

Humans hate truth and reality so why should we give a flying fuck if you human brats hate incest? We aren’t gonna change our culture because some wicked evil hateful species who disobeys all Universal and Multiversal Council laws and damages the Kosmos heavily out of believing in hateful lies, spreading war, spreading genocide, spread intolerance to others for being different like being against the LGBT!

And humanity hates the real deities because real deities wouldn’t put up humanity’s evil ways and real deities look nothing like humans so humans feel butthurt because the truth proved humanity isn’t special worth shit and humanity wants to be worshipped like if their species was a bunch of special snowflakes that can do no wrong despite humanity damaging the Kosmos with all the evil things they have done!

Which caused the Kosmos to send shockwaves damaging countless planets and causing the suffering and death to countless innocent lives including advance species! Which means beings with families, friends, had homes, purposes in their lives, and as advanced species have culture, language, technology, laws and order, etc! Humans are a lower advanced species!

Many of these species are more advanced than humans!

And the Universe cannot exist without a Kosmos! The Kosmos exists in the centre of the Universe! It is shaped like a heart and is a pale cyan in colour with eyes and a mouth, a blue monochromic ring around it with two royal blue bows!

The Kosmos is the heart and soul of the Universe! Both are needed for things to exist!

Humanity is threatening the lives of countless innocents just because humans are a bunch of cowards who can’t handle reality and truth or accept deities for what my kind truly is!

Humans made themselves Universal Council Enemy Number 2!

With Number 1 being The Reincarnation of The Great Evil Herself whose name now is Ishtayr!

On Judgement Day humanity will realise what happens when you fucking damage the Kosmos to the point it could blow up and kill all mortal life and fuck with the real gods and goddesses and all Nibirians!

Sadly for you humans I doubt many humans will be allowed to reincarnate as humans have hit rock bottom in terms of how wicked and evil humans are!

You humans claim you can reason but you in reality actually can’t because you react hatefully when told the truth! All because truth means you humans aren’t special or above shit! And that’s all majority of you humans have: A special snowflake disorder that cannot process real truth because it means humans aren’t special! AND it means others different from you exist! And humans hate others for being different because they’re a sad pathetic species who get triggered at the sign of others being different then you humans!

That is why humans have problems such as racism, homophobia, biphobia, enbyphobia[[That means against non binaries, which Nibirians don’t really understand but we’re not necessarily bashing you for it?]], transphobia[[Will say Nibirians bodies form around their souls so no one is trans on Nibiru as it’s physically impossible for us to be trans so no offence in that area…]], etc, because humans normally hate those who don’t fit their definition of their norm! They rarely show acceptance to those different from them!

And if you read some of my posts where I talked about my past then you’d know I have suffered way too much for any living being… I have my memories which traumatised me for a long time now so I really am a god and there is nothing you humans can do about me being a god cause that is what and who I am! You’re just upset because I am different from you and I speak the truth unlike you humans who have spread nothing but lies, genocide, war, intolerance, etc, so who’re you to even insult me just because I’m not what you wanted me to be?

The letter J was invented in 1524 by Italian Renaissance grammarian Gian Giorgio Trissino.

So it’s only 500 years old.

Jesus was always a false deity and judging by the old testament? Jesus was a fiendish hateful being who wanted non followers who didn’t believe in his sky daddy to be killed in spot if they rejected his lies!

Many advanced aliens do worship us as we’re deities and all but we deities just expect respect in general as we’re here to protect peace and order in the Universe and Multiverse! Advanced species also see demons as sacred creatures as well! Demons as I’ve stated are Nibirians that are advanced magical spiritual multidimensional species and are nothing what you hateful humans claim with your discriminating lies against innocent demons!

They like yazata[[god/goddess/deity/royal angel]] and tenshi[[common angel]] are magical anthropomorphic spiritual multidimensional species!

All Nibirians are not organic species but are made of magical paint, magical thinner, magical ink, aether, spiritual energy, two crystal hearts, and do not have flesh, bones, or organs but instead look mostly like a void inside! Our “skin”, manes, and fur and what looks like we have organs but don’t is just made of aether and such! Our magical ink is our equivalent to blood!

But we are what we are and if you can’t accept the errors of your ways humans then you will all die and get the “Big E” aka go extinct and never be allowed reincarnation! Your crimes have proven how fiendish you humans really are!

It’s not easy for me being here on Earth right now either as I just want to be with my family and friends and want the Helveon War to finally end!

The Helveon War is the war between Nibirians and other good advanced species VS evil elves[[and which as far as I know only Earl and Aeva are left?]] Ishtayr, the Reptilian aliens, and humans! It’s been going on considered start around half a million years ago! So the eon part works in Nibirian terms as eon is a Ancient Nibirian word and means half a million years so my rebirth and being put together along with the other three members of The Holy Four Kosmos Deities would be over an eon ago in Nibirian terms!

The word eon remains unchanged in Modern Nibirian!

While the word Hel comes from the evil city of Hel/Hell which I will explain in my next post as this post is getting too long!

Also: How Nibirians Age:

Age 0-2 - Newborn/Baby

Age 3-4 - Toddler

Age 5-8 - Child

Age 9-12 - Teenager

Age 13-15 - Adult

[nixlennon]

Unpacking Non-binary Identity

                              

I have always had a hard time feeling like I fit in underneath the umbrella of the definition of the concept of woman. I was diagnosed with a genetic disorder called Turner’s Syndrome at age five. My primary care doctor noticed I was growing quite at all as fast as the rest of the kids in the elementary school classes, and suggested to my doctors at Vanderbilt University that they do a genetic karyotype test. Sometimes I like to say that whatever god or divine being is out there sure does have a good sense of humor. Though I was born to a pair of evangelical, conservative Christian parents, I came right out of the womb queer as fuck. God literally just decided to say, “Oh? You wanna be homophobic? Well, here’s the gayest child I could send you possible. Have fun learning to love her.” 

As a person living with Turner’s Syndrome, this means I have one X chromosome and my second X chromosome has a small missing piece out of it. After a lot of soul searching, research, reading and listening to other intersex individuals’ stories, I became comfortable identifying with the intersex label and identity myself. It felt safe and comfortable–more roomy and spacious than the confines of the rigid binary of female and male. From a young age, I knew I was vastly different from my cisgender female friends. My diagnosis meant that I would never be able to have biological kids of my own and it also meant I had to take hormone replacement medication to treat my estrogen levels that were messed up and unpredictable due to my genetic disorder. As a high schooler, already struggling to fit in and with a socially anxious and awkward pre-disposition, I kept this a secret from even my closest best friends. 

As I grew older I started to feel more and more caught in between each end of the spectrum, masculine and feminine. I became a gray area. A question mark. I rejected everything feminine. I decided, if I couldn’t prove my worth and place in the coveted world of womanhood, I would completely reject it. I cut my hair into a pixie cut. I wore beanies and hoodies and other androgynous clothes.  My confusion and pain surrounding my gender identity continued to grow, steadily. Day by day.  My freshman year of college, which happened to be at a private Christian college (which definitely, in no way, helped the gender dysphoria I was feeling) brought with it feelings of potentially even wanting to transition and go on HRT to present in a more masculine way. 

Spoiler alert: I eventually decided not to transition. I don’t share this personal story of mine regarding gender identity struggles to push any sort of anti-trans or anti-transition agenda. In fact, I am sharing it as a form of reclaiming my place within the transgender community as a non-binary person, especially in the face of many members of the LGBTQ+ community mocking non-binary people and saying we aren’t a “real” identity and that we don’t deserve to be included in the transgender community since many of us have never medically transitioned. The non-binary community is diverse, vibrant and thriving. Many of us have learned to accept this gray area of gender that we were born into.

Recently, in the past few years, my style has morphed from beanies and pixie cuts to wild, wavy long hair and band t-shirts, combat boots, sundresses, and the occasional 1970s-esque thrift store find. I can’t begin to pinpoint the when, why or what inspired me to take such a 180 with my gender expression. To put it bluntly, maybe it’s all down to the fact that I put distance between myself and my hometown. I moved off to college. I learned to live on my own, even though I was terrified at first. (Trust me, when they dropped me off for freshman orientation day I literally wanted the Earth to swallow me up. Too many new people. Too many new things.) 

There were some very dark days during my journey to becoming an adult. 21 year old me probably wouldn’t even recognize 27-year-old me. She’d probably be in a pub or googling directions to get the tube to The Beatles famous Abbey Road zebra crossing. I am still that same person inside: a traveler, an adventurer, who chose to study abroad and live in London, even though I was scared shitless and didn’t know a single soul who was studying there that semester. My early 20s were all about making myself do the things that I was terrified of. 

Separating the beauty of the divine feminine parts of myself from the narrow labels and constraints of my small, southern hometown’s idea of what femininity meant was terrifying. Good christian girls never used profanity. Good Christian girls in my hometown got office jobs or teaching jobs. They’d stay pure until they found someone they wanted to marry. Unbroken, Intact. Untainted by teenage lust and hormones. All I could see around me as a college freshman at a Christian school was the pressure to be the ‘perfect Christian wife.’ Work in ministry or go on mission trips. Meet Prince Charming (Hello David Karesh, looking at you. Sorry…dark joke) and fall in love and get married and have a couple of charming, obedient children. This ideal, this standard set so high that it is almost bound to have cracks and be fake, absolutely, was not something I wanted to partake in. So, I rejected it completely. If I couldn’t be the ideal Christian female, to hell with femininity entirely. 

I stopped wearing my favorite sundresses. I kept my hair in a short pixie cut but still wore pretty intricate eye makeup. In some ways, I found solace in a mostly masculine aura and identity. In other ways, it may have been my trauma and hurt with never feeling like I fully ticked off the box of female traits that society appreciates and applauds. The majority of my early 20s was spent in a state of very painful gender dysphoria and gender confusion. Would I ever be accepted and loved for who I am? Who would want to be with and love someone that can’t even decide what gender they feel and how they want to express their gender from day to day.

I met my wonderful wife and slowly worked on healing the wounded little girl that never felt like she fit in living inside of me. 

I am a gray area.

I am a fucking gray area. 

I am non-binary. Sometimes the more masculine aspects of my soul take center stage. On other days, and more often than not, lately, the feminine aspects of my soul take over. I can love pretty and sparkly and girly things. I can express my emotions and style and vibe through makeup. I can nourish and continue to heal the traumatized inner little girl still living within me. 

I no longer want to let fundamental Christianity take away my enjoyment of feminine things. 

Maybe, in an odd turn of events, the sudden change in my gender expression was just my revenge and attempt to reclaim my femininity from purity culture and redefine it for myself. 

I guess I write this entire story to convey this simple message: Don’t assume someone is cisgender or that they fit neatly into some type of binary solely based off how they dress, if they wear makeup, or how high or low their voice is. Someone you peg or think looks cisgender could be fighting a silent war with gender dysphoria in their mind. 

The last thing I will leave you with is this: never let someone decide your gender or gender expression for you. Also, never feel like you have to put a label on your gender identity if you don’t feel comfortable and aren’t ready. Gender and gender expression are meant to be colorful, diverse, and expressive.

[liminalitycarb]

Xenoblade 2 - Final Chapter (Part 5) - And thus, boy met girl.

And thus, everyone returns in... spotlight form...

...Rex is still stuck in his nightmare isn't he?

Oh, it seems we are out of the horror! It was just the Architect trying to peer into everyone's soul. That little rascal!

And thus the Architect informs everyone that he's been spying on them all, INCLUDING THEIR OWN PERSONAL THOUGHTS IT SEEMS! ...Klaus had no respect for privacy did he?

So it seems everyone had a different set of visions, but they all shared the same thread of being fears that they harbor. But he wanted to see in order to tell how humanity has changed over the years, and get a feel for their current direction as a species.

Klaus... I hate to tell you but a sample size of 3 humans, 1 Noppon, a Flesh Eater, and a bunch of blades is NOT a statistically significant sample size...

OH BOY! EXPOSITION TIME EVERYONE! Klaus is going to give us his memories, and the memories of the planet. Little did I know he could communicate with the Life stream.

So summary of the past - The word was stuck in a struggle for survival WORSE than what Alrest is experiencing now. Klaus saw it as unseemly, but he did recognize the glimpses of beauty (unlike some pope who SHALL NOT BE NAMED.... and not because I'm blanking on his actual name...)

"Humanity harbors desires, and struggles to realize them. This is the natural state of man" says Klaus. Right before saying "I thought that was stupid so I tried to rewrite THE UNIVERSE!"

Ah yes... the Zohar... I mean Conduit... the biggest plot-driver of the Xeno games. I think in Saga it was basically an energy source that connected to a higher plane of existance, that they used to then create the universe wide INTERNET! (which... caused ghosts to appear...) And now it gave someone the power to open gates TO THE MULTIVERSE...

APPARENTLY almost everyone else who used to LIVE ON EARTH got shunted against their wills into alternate universe BECAUSE KLAUS HAD TO MESS WITH THE FREAKING ZOHAR THAT HE DIDN'T UNDERSTAND.

This is why you don't mess with alien/divine artifacts that magically appear in front of you without KNOWING WHAT IT DOES.

Oh.... so THAT is how Klaus exists as both the Architect and as Zanza... he is LITERALLY stuck half way between two universes....

At least he got to feel eternal agony for his part in breaking all reality?

Huh... so apparently timeline wise Xenoblade 1 and 2 must take place at about the same real time if he can tell that Zanza is about to die.

Well, at least you accept this for what it is Klaus. You recognize you fucked up, and you have accepted your punishment for that.

Oh, more lore! Apparently Klaus didn't just accept his punishment. He sought out redemption by trying to restore the world. And now we learn that the Cloud Sea is A MUCH MORE TERRIFYING THING THAN I THOUGHT...

It's a sea of nanomachines that apparently tries to eat old matter to turn it into new matter...

... okay... I guess people calling him the Architect and their effective Creator God was... not farfetched at all since he APPARENTLY DID CREATE LIFE...

Apparently all the core crystals are miniature vessels with the memories of the previous inhabitants of the planet. Though... how did you get those memories if they were sent to other universes Klaus? HOW DID YOU GET THEM!?

So when a core crystal mixes with the cloud sea, you get new life apparently.

And thus Klaus seeded the planet with life, and just waited for evolution to do its thing.

I mean.. If you're worried about humanity repeating their mistakes... you could... I don't know? GUIDE THEM? LIKE YOU WOULD A CHILD!? This is why you teach the young Klaus. So they can learn from your mistakes and your successes without needing to go through the pain of it all themselves constantly... and so you can TRY TO AVOID THEM FROM MAKING THE SAME BAD MISTAKES YOU DID.

Oh.. he's mostly worried if someone like him (dumb, foolhardy, but also intelligent enough to actually break everything) appeared. Okay.. that might be harder to stop. But apparently his answer was to create the Blades.

I guess... to try and kill his doppelganger if they ever appeared?

Oh hey, apparently there are supposed to be 3 ZOHAR BLADES. But one of them just happened to disappear because of a "Space-Time Transition Event"...

Klaus... did you just throw it into the conduit one day because you were bored and wanted to see what happened? You can tell us.

Oh goody, apparently Pyra and Malos were in charge of managing every other blade in existence!

And... apparently every blade is constantly sending data to the two of them... How are they both so stable if they are CONSTANTLY getting data of basically EVERYTHING every other blade is experiencing all the time?

Oh, this is apparently a bi-directional data connection. Pneuma and Logos get the "what's the current status" data, and they send back new info to try and help the blades change over time to meet the needs of the new humanity. That.. is weird but I guess a way to try to automate your "guidance" of everyone.

Oh.... oh not EVERYONE was shunted into other universes... those that survived other than Klaus were... turned into those monsters we say in Morytha..

It seems they used the original version of the core crystals to try to achieve immortality.. As they... were supposed to replace your brain cells? I don't get how that is supposed to work... But hey! Klaus took it and repurposed old tech for a new, probably more useful function. (though possibly just as ethically gray)

And there is EVEN MORE EXPOSITION. But that has to be for the next part because I'm at the image limit.

[asleepinawell]

Book Recs

I was gonna do one of these at the end of the year, but I’ve somehow managed to read 26 books this year already (12 novellas, 14 novels), almost all featuring queer authors and/or characters so this is already a long list.

Note: There’s a few on here I was kind of meh about, but in most of those cases it was a ‘book might be good but it’s not for me so i’ll mention it to put it on people’s radar anyway’ type of thing. Insert the usual necessary tumblr disclaimer about all of this being only my opinion and your opinions are valid too etc etc.

In order of when I read them:

Princess Floralinda and the Forty-Flight Tower by Tamsyn Muir - Fantasy novella from the author of gideon the ninth that’s a twist on the classic princess trapped in a tower waiting for a prince story. Quite fun. (novella)

The Monster of Elendhaven by Jennifer Giesbrecht - Dark fantasy about revenge and magic. m/m couple but like I said it’s pretty dark and twisted all around so definitely not a happy queer romantic story. My opinion was interesting premise that could have been executed better and probably should have been a full novel to embellish on the world building potential. (novella)

A Memory Called Empire & A Desolation Called Peace - Arkady Martine - Probably tied with murderbot as the best things I read this year. Scifi, f/f couple, wonderfully done exploration of what it means to fall in love with a culture that is destroying your own. More of the many queer anti-imperialist books that have come out recently and certainly some of the best. The second one is a direct continuation of the first. (2 novels)

The Tyrant Baru Cormorant - Seth Dickinson - This is the third in the Baru Cormorant series (The Masquerade) and was my favorite so far. The second and third book were originally one book that got split I believe and the second book didn’t stand alone as well (though was still great), but the third book really made up for that. Dark fantasy world starring a queer woc whose country and culture is destroyed by the imperial forces of that world colonizing and assimilating them. She vows revenge and decides to work her way up within her enemy’s ranks to enact it from within and bring an empire to ruins. Really really fascinating study of so many different aspects of our own world and the systems which enable and allow bigotry and how bigoted and violent narratives are used to control minorities. This is definitely a darker series and I was particularly impressed with some of the commentary on the racism prevalent in non-intersectional feminism as depicted through a fantasy world. Can’t wait for the last one to come out! (3 novels, 1 forthcoming)

The Murderbot Diaries - Martha Wells - There’s six of them--5 novella and a novel--and the first is All Systems Red. Told from the point of view of a self-aware droid/android that is rented out by a corporation to provide protection in a dystopian capitalist hellhole future that isn’t that unlike our current capitalist dystopia but is in space. Muderbot hacked the chip that controlled it and instead of going rogue just wants to be left alone to watch its favorite tv shows. Murderbot is painfully relatable and the books are both funny and poignant. Highly recommended. (5 novellas and a novel).

Winter’s Orbit - Everina Maxwell - This was a m/m romance novel with a scifi backdrop of royal intrigue. Generally I’m more into scifi with a queer relationship in the background than vice versa, so it wasn’t my favorite, BUT I think it was still well written and someone looking for more of the romance angle would enjoy it. Has all your favorite romance tropes in it, especially the yearning. (novel)

The Divine Cities - Robert Jackson Bennett - Three book series. I’m very conflicted about this one. Set in a fantasy world where an enslaved nation overthrew the country enslaving them and now rules over them. It’s a story of what happens after the triumphant victory and within that it’s also a murder mystery tied into the dying magic of the conquered nation. It also has a six foot something naked oily viking man fist fight a cthulhu in a frozen river. The second book was by far my favorite, mostly due to the main character being brilliant. My conflict comes from the fact I don’t feel like the story treated its women and queer characters well. Like it had really great characters but it didn’t do great by them overall. That and the third book didn’t live up to the first two. But still definitely worth a read, can’t stress enough how cool some of the world building was. (3 novels)

Into the Drowning Deep - Mira Grant - This might be the only one on here I disliked. It’s got a doomed boat voyage and creepy underwater terror and monsters and a super diverse cast of characters, but I just didn’t enjoy the writing style. While having a diverse cast is great, there were a lot of moments where it felt like characters were pausing to explain things about themselves that felt like a tumblr post rather than a normal conversation you might have while actively being hunted by monsters. I also bounced off all the characters. But a lot of people seem to have liked it so if you’re into horror and want a book with a f/f main couple then maybe you’ll enjoy it. (novel)

Dead Djinn Universe - P. Djèlí Clark - Around the early 1900′s, a man in Egypt discovers a way to access another world and bring Djinn and mysterious clockwork beings called Angels through. As a result, Egypt tells the British to get fucked and Cairo becomes one of the most powerful cities in the world. So Egypt, magic, djinn, a steampunk-ish vibe, oh and the main character is a butch queer woman who enjoys wearing dapper suits and looking fabulous while she investigates supernatural events. Her girlfriend is also mysterious and badass. And she has a cat. There’s three novella (one of which technically might be considered a short story) and then the first novel. You should absolutely read the novellas first (A Dead Djinn in Cairo, The Angel of Khan el-Khalili, The Haunting of Tram Car 015). Super fun and imaginative series. (3 novellas and a novel, more forthcoming)

River of Teeth & Taste of Marrow - Sarah Gailey - From the book description

“In the early 20th Century, the United States government concocted a plan to import hippopotamuses into the marshlands of Louisiana to be bred and slaughtered as an alternative meat source. This is true. Other true things about hippos: they are savage, they are fast, and their jaws can snap a man in two. This was a terrible plan.”

Queer hippo riders!!!! Very much a western but with hippos. Main couple included a non-binary character. Loved the first one. The second one I was more meh about due to one of the characters I was supposed to like having obnoxious man pain that a woman had to take the brunt of the whole time. Also there were less hippos. But queer hippo riders! Definitely read the first one, and they’re both novellas so no reason not to read the second as well. (2 novellas)

A Psalm for the Wild-Built - Becky Chambers - I may be the only person who hasn’t read the long way to a small angry planet at this point, but I did grab her new novella and I loved it. It made me want to go sit out in the woods and feel peaceful. The world it’s set in feels like a peaceful post-apocalypse...or diverted apocalypse maybe. Humans built robots and robots gained sentience, but instead of rebelling they just up and left and went into the wilderness with a promise that the humans wouldn’t follow them.The remaining human society reshaped itself into something new and peaceful. It’s the story of a monk who leaves their habitual monking duties to go be a tea monk and then later wanders into the wilderness and becomes the first human in ages to meet a robot. Very sad there’s no fan art yet. (novella, more forthcoming)

The March North - Graydon Saunders - This was such a weird book that I’m not sure how to explain it. The prose style is hard to get used to and I suspect a lot of people will bounce off it in the first chapter. There’s no third person pronouns used at all and important events get mentioned once in passing and if you blink you’ll miss them. Set on a world where magic is extremely common to the point that rivers sometimes run with blood or fire and the local weeds are something out of a horror movie and most of the world is run by powerful sorcerer dictators, one country banded together (with the help of a few powerful sorcerers who were tired of all the bullshit) to form a free country where powerful sorcerers wouldn’t rule and the small magics of every day folks could be combined to work together. The story revolves around a Captain of the military force on the border who one day has three very powerful sorcerers sent to them by the main government with the hint that just maybe there’s about to be a big invasion (there is) with the implication of take these guys and go deal with this. The world building is extremely complex and very cool...when you can actually understand what the fuck is going on. There is also a murder sheep named Eustace who breathes fire and eats just about everything and is a Very Good Boy and belongs to the most terrifying sorcerer in the world who appears as a little old grandma with knitting. It had one of the most epic badass and wonderfully grotesque battles I’ve ever read. But yeah, it is not what I would call easy reading. Opinions may vary wildly. I did also read the second one (A Succession of Bad Days) in the series which was easier to follow and had a lot more details about the world, but overall I was more meh about it despite some cool aspects. The chapters and chapters of the extreme details of building a house that made up half the novel just weren’t my thing. (novels).

The Space Between Worlds - Micaiah Johnson - In this world parallels universes exist and we’ve discovered how to travel between them, but the catch is you can only go to worlds where the ‘you’ there is already dead. This turns into an uncomfortable look at who would be the people most likely to have died on many worlds and how things like class and race would fit into that and what we would actually use this ability for (if you guessed stealing resources and the stock market you’d be correct). The main character is a queer woc who travels between worlds with the assistance of her handler (another queer woc) who she has the hots for. She accidentally stumbles on a whole lot of mess and conspiracy and gets swept up in that. Really enjoyed it. (novel)

Witchmark - C.L. Polk - Fantasy world reminiscent of Victorian England (I think?) where a young man with magical gifts runs away from his powerful family to avoid being exploited by them. He joins the army and fights in a war and comes home to try and live a quiet life as a doctor, but a murder pulls him into a larger mystery that upturns his life. Also he’s extremely gay and there’s a prevalent m/m romance. This one was a fun-but-not-mind-blowing one for me. (novel, 2 more in the series I haven’t read)

The Priory of the Orange Tree - Samantha Shannon - This was one of those that everyone loved but I couldn’t get into for some reason. I tried twice and only got about halfway through the second time. It’s got dragons and queer ladies and fantasy world and all the things I like, but I wasn’t that invested in the main story (which included the f/f couple) and was more interested in the smaller story about a woman trying to become a dragon rider. There are few things that beat out a lady and her dragon friend story for me and that was the storyline that felt neglected and took a different turn right when we got to the part I’d been waiting for. But, I know a lot of people whose reading opinions I respect who loved it, and if you like epic fantasy with dragons and queens and treachery and pirates and queer characters then I’d say you should definitely give it a try. (novel)

Bonus: I didn’t read these series this year, but if you haven’t read them yet, you should.

Imperial Radch (Ancillary Justice) - Ann Leckie - Spaceship AI stuck in a human body out for revenge for their former captain, but that summary does not come close to doing it justice. Another one examining imperialism and also gender and race.(3 novels)

Kushiel's Legacy Series - Jacqueline Carey - This is two series, six books total, and starts with Kushiel's Dart. Alternate universe Renaissance-y Europe in a fantastical world where sex isn't shameful and sex workers are respected and prized. Lots of political intrigue and mystery. A lot of BDSM and kinky stuff too (the main character is a sexual masochist, oh and also bi!). I first read this series when I was fifteen or sixteen and it definitely made a big impression on me. Same author also wrote the Santa Olivia series which I’d also recommend. (6 novels)

The Locked Tomb (Gideon the Ninth) - Tamsyn Muir - I mean, if you follow me, you know. If you don’t follow me you still probably know. I’d have felt remiss to have left them off though. Lesbian Necormancers in Space. Memes! Skeletons! Biceps! Go read them. (2 novels, 2 forthcoming, 1 short story)

Books On My To Read List:

Fireheart Tiger - Aliette de Bodard

The Order of the Pure Moon Reflected in Water - Zen Cho

Black Sun - Rebecca Roanhorse

This Is How You Lose the TIme War - Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone

Ninefox Gambit - Yoon Ha Lee

Also, if anyone has any recs for scifi/fantasy books starring queer men (not necessarily having to do with a queer relationship) and written by queer men I’d love them. There’s a lot written by women, and some of them are great, but I’d love to read a story about queer men from their own perspective.

[seancekitsch]

You Need Hands: Part of the Prize Buck Series

Warnings: smut, talking about abusive relationships, talking about drug use, unsafe bondage practices bc i am not a sex guru i am a writer of two flawed people, codependancy, praising

Klaus is surprised, to say the least when you come into the apartment raging, fingernails chewed off and eyes red as if you'd been crying on your walk home from work. Work was your only place, save for home, where you seemed truly happy. He notices your shaking and the barely contained rage behind the clench of your jaw.

“Hey! Hey, is everything alright?” he puts a hand out to stop you from pacing, and you turn on him, eyes glassy and red.

“Do you know what she said about us?”

What the fuck? Who would have said that? You talk to his siblings. Your boss. And. Oh. Okay, you talk to Gwen, your roommate from your University days that you recently gotten in touch with again. Klaus doesn't like her. It’s hard to get on Klaus’ bad side, but she seemed… pushy. Not pushy. What's the word he’s trying to use? Controlling? Scheming? Yeah, those are the ones. Accuracy cuts deeper, you always tell him. He pets your arm, feeble in trying to calm you down but after a few ragged open-mouthed breaths, you’re ready.

“She called us Sid and Nancy,” you continue, “She said we live in a sex den above a bodega slowly killing each other, if not outright doing it. She thinks you’re gonna get me high again. She basically met up with me up to judge me and tell me everything I’m doing wrong. I didn't even get to tell her about that paella we made last week for your whole family.”

“Oh, she’s kidding right? I’d make a terrible Nancy.” That makes you pause in your tracks, confusion lighting up your features.

“No- Klaus she thinks you’re Sid.”

“I’m not Sid.” He reaffirms, pulling you in and wrapping his arms around your frame. Noticing how the candlelight catches on your hair, making you look like a biblical angel, one of those terrifying fiery things, hard to look at but you’re all his. He knows how you feel right now, better than anyone. He’s used to being the one discounted and lectured. His own siblings, as much as he loves them dearly, only just started trusting him in the span of the past two years. It felt like something divine, that despite how mean and secluded you were at first, how you trusted him so deeply so quickly. He’d known you for almost a year, and in that year dragged you to another century, gotten you involved in a cult, exposed you to his family, ghosts, challenging and difficult situations other people could have easily cracked under without disease plaguing their mind. Klaus is capable of great cruelty and recklessness, he knows it. He knows you shouldn't trust someone who has seen and done the frankly fucked up shit he has, but you do. And he trusts you fully in turn, if not more. Even when you refused to be open with him, pushed him away; the days when you would have rather stuck pins in your hand than speak to him because he was loud and you were too weak to handle it.

He exhales a breath he didn't know he was holding when he feels your head dip and fall against his chest.

“Is she right?” your voice is far away, empty. Needing some empty comfort. “Are we killing each other? Do we suck?”

“Hey, c’mon, don't be upset,” he shushes you, “We’re good for each other. We have jobs! No relapses! Bet your ex could never say that.” He couldn't, your ex was part of the reason you were here, which Klaus wasn't exactly upset about because it meant he had you and no one else did, but you probably could have benefitted from years free from an active addiction that was more or less funded by the competitive nature of your work and home life.

“I’m not upset. I’m pissed.”

That solves it for Klaus. When you're pissed, you clam up. He doesn't want to emotionally lose you for the rest of the day, or worse, the whole weekend.

“We’re not killing each other,” he confirms, “Pretty sure you can't kill me anyway.”

You snort and swat at his ribs, but then your hand doesn't leave him after the hit, instead slinking from his side to his back, coming to rest on his shoulder blade. You're holding him, which means he hasn't lost you.

“Oh, wicked thing, I’ll show you how good I am for you.”

You sigh, and feeling the pricking of your nails on his back, he takes that as permission. His hand begins roaming your body, groping at your chest, squeezing at your ass as you grab onto him, holding him for stability as he keeps moving, his large hands making you moan.

“Klaus…” you trail off. What are you trying to say? What are you asking for? You don't know.

“How many days have you been clean?” He whispers against your skin.

“One hundred and ninety three.” You know it exactly.

“See? She’s wrong,” and he goes back to peppering your face with kisses as his hands work to pull your skirt out of the way. Its dirty the way he pulls your clothes out of the way to fondle at you, to rub against your cunt through your underwear, to pull that underwear aside and find you wet and waiting. His other arm wrapped around the small of your back, holding your rumpled skirt gathered in his hand.

“I’ll be real good for you,” he affirms, slipping a finger into you, and then another. You grip onto his shoulders now, enough to keep you standing when your legs want to crumble under his thrusting. He pushes in with ease, like you were made to take his fingers, your breath hitching and tiny whines falling from your lips. His forehead dips to press against yours, sweat beginning to form on his brow. Its dizzying, how deep his long fingers can be inside you, how full and whole you feel as he holds you against him, making you shake and moan as he props you up, letting you feel like a ragdoll at his mercy.

“Hey,” he nudges you with his nose, “Hey, Lover, look over there.”

He shifts his head to the left, and your head follows. You're face to face with the image of yourself in the cheap and grimy thrift shop mirror you had bought. You see how strong his lean muscles are, how they move against you, hold you close and safe.

“Look how fuckin’ good you look.” You nod, you have to agree, heavy bedroom eyes stare back at you, your lips parted almost pornographically. Is this how Klaus sees you all the time? He picks up the pace, eagerly moving his hips along with his hand, needing to feel some release and friction himself as he works you over, your voice raising an octave as he gets rougher, until your eyes close tightly; your body stiffens, shakes, and you can hear him praising you. You're doing so well, that's it, all for me, right on my hand, you're so sexy. Your voice comes out in a shudder. Trying to thank him as your muscles twitch and you look into his beautiful green eyes.

“No, no, no, shhhh,” he hushes you again, smoothing your hair down as he leads you to walk on wobbly legs over to the bed to sit, not bothering to fix your skirt. Your eyebrow quirks as he moves to remove his belt fully, not just unbuckle it to remove his pants.

But you wise up quickly, watching him grab your hands and start to wrap the belt around your wrists. You have bondage rope somewhere around here, but this is hot, and he told you to be quiet, so you don’t make a sound. He moves your hands at the wrist, checking for you to make sure the belt won't hurt you, then pushes you back onto the bed, staring at invisible patterns on the ceiling as you lift your hand for them, belted wrists landing at the other edge of the bed. You can feel him push your skirt up even more, then you feel his skin on yours, his bare thighs rubbing against the inside of yours, then the sensation of Klaus rubbing his cock against you. Fuck, you love his cock. You love him. He watches your expression, your gasps, your sighs from lips plumped by bruising, your eyes fluttering shut as he rubs against you. You're a fucking goddess. He doesn't deserve you, despite trying to carnally prove that he does. Youre so fucking good, you’ve helped better each other. Fuck what anyone says. He just hopes you believe it too.

“So fuckin’ good, Lover. Oh, I’m gonna worship this cunt,” he sighs, more to himself than you.

“Don’t make me wait, Klaus,” you command, but then whine as he enters you. Everything feels like so much, so much.

“Sensitive, Fraulein?”

“I can handle it.”

“Of course you can,” he agrees, setting his pace

He hikes one of your legs up onto his hip, then hikes his leg up onto the bed, getting a better angle to fuck you, but also to lean in and kiss you, his mustache brushing your chin, lips attaching themselves to the underside of your jaw as he kisses you fully, pressing his love into your skin.

He covers your body with his own, protective, possessive, and devoted; he fucks you through another high, making you scream into his mouth as he doesn’t slow his pace, once again shushing you and singing your praises. I love you, you look so good like this, let me live the rest of my life like this between your thighs. You want to let him take, and take, and take. Such a thoughtful, loving, loyal person. He gives. You want him to give.

“Klaus,” you sound breathless, “Klaus, come inside me, please.”

You beg, wanting him completely. He lifts your other leg, before climbing completely on the bed with you, his sweaty chest dropping against yours, palming at your breast as he buries his head into the crook of your neck, needing to feel the closeness of you as he comes.

He comes quietly, with a staggered gasp and your lips kissing his hair. One of his hands finds yours bound above your head, and grasps them both in his. He kisses your neck as he stills, body relaxing as he comes down.

You stay like that for almost a half hour before the phone on the wall rings and snaps you out of your loving haze.

[givemeonebreath]

A big, messy Linked Universe playlist

Link for Links

Heavy on the angst, because of who I am as a person. (At the same time, don’t take it too seriously, man.)

Influenced by canon, manga (TP Link is really Going Through It™ ), my personal perceptions, and popular fandom canon.

A pretty wide variety of genres, with a bias towards metal and prog rock.

I kept snippets of lyrics for most songs, also because of who I am as a person. (Some were particularly hard to narrow down to just one verse or chorus.) Those - and a little more rambling - are under the cut if you really want, in the order of the playlist. But. It’s long.

I didn’t initially make this with the intent to share, but hey. Throughout my past year+ of listening, I’ve been haphazardly adding songs to a playlist I very creatively named Links. If something reminded me of them, whether through the music or lyrics or both, I threw it on the playlist, so some songs might seem odd or vague. Some are really on the nose, as subtle as a sledgehammer. (Sky for Sky? Dude. Sorry.) Some are there because of a fitting line or two that stuck in my head. Ultimately, music - like any form of creative expression - can be interpreted in a multitude of ways. 

My listening habits and tastes are erratic, which is why this is one big, jumbled playlist and not separated for different Links. Not to mention if I did that, some (Wild, Legend) would have a lot and some (Wind, Four) would have none, both because of my own familiarity with them, and because of the general themes of the music I tend to listen to. Most songs are a general ‘hero’s spirit reborn’ mood, anyway - those are the first part of the playlist. The second half is more nuanced to specific Links, plus a few Ganon vibes.

1. Deep Purple - April (Koji Kondo, composer of the original Legend of Zelda theme, was into Deep Purple as a kid, and it shows.)

2. Kamelot - Regalis Apertura

3. Au4 - So Just Hang On, Beautiful One (I’ve posted this here before. I can’t hear it without thinking of LU now.) So I slipped in through the gate almost unknown. All my border stamps were late. Seven days old. Cold hand griped my shoulder blade, broke the bone. Bloody nose and turned away, all the way home.

4. FC Kahuna - Hayling Don’t think about all those things you fear, just be glad to be here

5. Glass Animals - Youth Boy, when I left you you were young I was gone, but not my love You were clearly meant for more Than a life lost in the war

6. Pain of Salvation - Restless Boy A restless boy in a world too slow A flame born into cinder, ash, and glow I've given everything I gave it all Yet find myself alone

7. Haken - The Endless Knot Our design shifted frame by frame! Across the line our cycle starts to fail. Our design shifted frame by frame! Across the line we die to live again.   We need a story to believe in. We need a hero to prevail. We need a challenge we can overcome, it takes a tragedy to make us one 

8. Kamelot - Memento Mori (I particularly associate this with Time and Twilight) I am the god in my own history The master of the game I may believe if she would come to me And whisper out my name Sometimes I wonder where the wind has gone If life has ever been Sometimes I wonder how belief alone Can cut me free from sin

9. Katatonia - Fighters Look I told you so We never stop If we said that We'll back it up For sure You know We're fighters

10. Megadeth - This Day We Fight! (I mean, all Links, but particularly Warriors) For this I was chosen, because I fear nothing With confidence I tread through the dead of the night Off to another war-torn, faraway battlefield Wherein lies a demonic enemy horde

11. Moon Tooth - Igneous Well, the spirit took me And this old broken body leapt up and danced Settin’ out Settin' out with all my heroes in a bundle at my back Hawk am I More wings span in my shadow than overcast Yeah, you know what they say Always need something to look up to, ha

12. Samael - Moongate Destiny, tomorrow is today Destiny, without boundaries How many nights will we spend together traveling infinity back and forth and again How many times will we go together questioning eternity about us about our wonders...

13. TOOL- Parabola This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion

14. Lunatic Soul - Blood on the Tightrope No matter how hard you try To shut down your feverish thoughts They hunt you down with no regret Cause you have to fix it all

15. Hybrid - Keep It In The Family

16. Soul Savers - Unbalanced Pieces Gone, now carry on Through violent seasons I call you mother, mother, mother In vain, absent chain The twilight's bleeding And the playing board has two unbalanced pieces

17. Steve Von Till - Valley of the Moon All she gives is a stone facade Like ill-given flowers at a dead man's wake Here we slave for the dreams of another And fight over scraps like wayward dogs

18. Ludovico Einaudi - Experience

19. Lunatic Soul - Summoning Dance Three stones on the right side Three stones on the left My vicious circle of life and death   “Oh you want it” I hear it again “Oh you want it” My burden Curse to break

20. Lunatic Soul - Through Shaded Woods Run through your shaded woods Run through your shaded mind Run through the night Run away Run through the darkness Run

21. Lunatic Soul - Naavie

22. David Bowie - Nature Boy There was a boy A very strange, enchanted boy They say he wandered very far Very far, over land and sea A little shy and sad of eye But very wise was he

23. The Dandy Warhols - Sleep Well, I could sleep forever But it's of her I dream If I could sleep forever I could forget about everything 

24. Au4 - Everyone is Everyone (and Everything is Everything) Tripping and tumbling, Flipping and fumbling. Flowing on the rivers of sadness That have been forever rumbling.   But from dawn until now Of all the paths that I could have gone down Of all the valleys That I could have been flowing through.   In spite of all the chaos And all that has come between us, How is it I still find myself Here with you. 

25. Kingcrow - Everything Goes Your hands again upon the ground Falling rain for hours and hours As you learn the game Time dispels the fog ... Ever been there? Ever felt like prey? Ever thought your mind was feeble? Lot of things that don’t make sense

26. Pain of Salvation - Icon As a child I felt too old And now when I'm grown-up I feel too young A different kind so I've been told Just slightly out of reach and out of time

27. Sophia Loizou - Divine Interference (I got spooky dungeon vibes. Also, the title.)

28. Carpenter Brut - Fab Tool Runnin Gunnin Forward in the phantom shatter so grand Splatter grand, arcanum fuel Wrought iron out of the sky Over me, tells no lie

29. Blue Stahli - Death Will Have to Run All on the open road Where none will ever grow A journey toward the known With countless miles to go

30. Gyroscope - Mistakes & Ladders I am the first? No I can't be the first A continuous nothing, destined for something Tell me who you are and why you trapped me here

31. Queens of the Stone Age - Run, Pig, Run Run, pig, run Here I come

32. Chali 2na & Krafty Kuts - Guard The Fort The swords are drawn and odds are stacked And we clash the impact's a thunderous clap Calm demeanor Even though we are under attack [...my turn to guard the fort ready for combat]

33. The Great Discord - Army of Me (lol)

34. Kongos - Terrified I think I'll start again and change my name You only live once or twice, what a shame Somebody fucked up when designing this game

35. Woodkid - Run Boy Run Run, boy, run! This ride is a journey to Run, boy, run! The secret inside of you Run, boy, run! This race is a prophecy Run, boy, run! And disappear in the trees

36. The Beta Machine - The End A million miles away from you this time I'll do what it takes I'm on my way If lines are in the sand I'll go under If I can make it in time I will bring you back with me

37. Devin Townsend Project - Gump When we last met who was I? I'm sorry we no longer see eye to eye The energy to keep you in while keeping myself out I'm sorry how you'll take this  But I just don't have the patience anymore 

38. Arrested Youth - Riot! I can't get much satisfaction living in this cave It's tough to breathe, I'm in the belly of the beast Can't sleep with all my rage With me and all my generations living in this cage Pick up your guns and tell your sons, tonight we break the cage

39. Led Zeppelin - Friends So anytime somebody needs you Don't let them down, although it grieves you Some day you'll need someone like they do Looking for what you knew

40. Faunts - M4, pt 2 (Wild) Fight your foes you're not alone Holy war is on the phone Asking to please stay on hold Bleeding loss of blood runs cold And I need you to recover   Because I can't make it on my own

41. Faith No More - Ashes to Ashes (Wild) I want them to know it's me, it's on my head I'll point the finger at me, it's on my head Smiling with the mouth of the ocean And I'll wave to you with the arms of the mountain

42. Devin Townsend - Jupiter (Wild) I know you At least I think I do Everything's changed But in the days that are so dark It's wonderful

43. Katatonia - Neon Epitaph (Wild) Shadow of my shadow Cling not to my grief I am long left behind now You are free

44. The Smashing Pumpkins - The Beginning is the End is the Beginning (Wild) Time has stopped before us The sky cannot ignore us No one can separate us For we are all that is left The echo bounces off me The shadow lost beside me There's no more need to pretend Cause now I can begin again 

45. Katatonia - Lacquer (Wild) My voice travelling Soaring bird above your head The house we lived in Ridden with disease ... The levee breaking I can't live to fight once more The road to the grave is straight as an arrow I'm just staying around to sing your song, baby

46. Eskimo Joe - This is Pressure (Wild) There is no romance in suffocation  The walls fall down like your expectations You want to scream  And you want to shout But you've built up steam  And you can't let it out This is pressure 

47. Portugal. The Man - 1000 Years (Wild) We'll wait 1000 years  Until the end of time We'll wait 1000 more Dressed up in gold and white We'll climb the mountain sides  To find what's in the sky We'll dig through mountain sides  To find what's deep inside

48. Au4 - An Ocean’s Measure of Sorrow (Wild) Forgot my name and who I was. Memories of nothing floating up. All of the sorrow we once knew, Colours the ocean's water blue.

49. Band of Skulls - Carnivorous (Twilight) I am corrosive and cohesive Like a chemical bond I'm all together undone I am the broken kingdom I'm just so, so, so  So carnivorous

50. Glass Animals - Flip (Twilight) I wanna go back with a club and attack I wanna take to my guns and break you I gotta make my little foe take his own

51. TV on the Radio - Wolf Like Me (Twilight) My mind has changed my body's frame, but, God, I like it My heart's aflame, my body's strained, but, God, I like it

52. Kamelot - The Spell (Twilight) All my demons cast a spell The souls of dusk rising from the ashes So the book of shadows tell The weak will always obey the master

53. OSI - Radiologue (Legend) I was dreaming I was heading west thirty days faster Had a fever woke up in a sweat bailing out the water  Can't go on Can't go back   Heard your voice coming through the noise wrote it in the radio log Hurt my head, wondering what you said so I threw it overboard  

54. Katatonia - Don’t Tell A Soul (Legend) I have been destroyed by the perfection that is a lie see I'm moving soon see my feet are already on the road and if you know where I’m going don’t tell a soul

55. Haken - The Mind’s Eye (Legend) The shape of things to come are closer than they seem Changing your design every time you disappear I'm planning my escape through portals of your mind Where people seem to drop like flies

56. Pain of Salvation - Species (Legend) Sometimes I hate my fucking species Yet most days I'll do anything to please it  My generation was fooled to pursue our dreams But it is not what it seems You never need what you want And you rarely want what you need

57. Euringer - Do You Kiss Your Mama with That Mouth? (Legend) All my life, misunderstood I'm fuckin' too smart, too smart for my own good The last question, before I go is "Hey motherfucka, do you kiss your mama with that mouth?"  Yes! I kiss your mama with this mouth

58. !!! - Pardon My Freedom (Legend) Like I give a fuck, like I give a shit Like I give a fuck about that shit Like I give a fuck about that motherfucking shit

59. Team Sleep - Ataraxia (Legend) Froze asleep Coma deep I dream I'm out with you Alone at sea

60. Oliver Tank - Embrace (Legend) You're in my dreams The world is torn apart at the seams And I don't wanna leave Wearing my heart on it's sleeve

61. Machine Gun Fellatio - The Girl of My Dreams (Is Giving Me Nightmares) (Legend) The girl of my dreams is giving me nightmares I don't know what it means but she's got multi-coloured hair When she stands in the sand I dream of peaches And I'm not sure what that means either

62. Earl Greyhound - Shotgun (Legend & Hyrule) I am nobody, nobody is who I am I am a traveler on this land And nothing, nothing, nothing in my hands

63. TV on the Radio - Staring at the Sun (Hyrule) You're staring at the sun You're standing in the sea Your mouth is open wide You're trying hard to breathe The water's at your neck There's lightning in your teeth Your body's over me

64. Echo & The Bunnymen - The Killing Moon (Time) Fate Up against your will Through the thick and thin He will wait until You give yourself to him

65. Sufjan Stevens - Sugar (Sky) Don’t break my heart, don’t break my flow now And all this rage has got to go now Let’s take up this lifeline Come on, baby, gimme some sugar Don’t make me wait Don’t make me wait too long Don’t make me sing the sad song Come on, baby, gimme some sugar

66. Obsydians - Ascension (Sky) Rise above the hardships you’ll face I will sign and keep on rising As long as you are giving me your soul and keep me awake Feel like home and spread your light around I will listen and just be there As long as you are giving me your love I’ll give you my soul

67. Sonique - Sky -_-

68. Enter Shikari - The King (Ganon) Watch your back, my friend I'm about to kickstart a cycle Of never ending revenge And this time it's primal, it's tribal

69. Saul Williams - WTF! (Ganon, Hylia) "You've been polluted, uprooted by time You have been muted, computed but I'm A living vessel of the one, of the moon, of the sun" Hey! You ain't as dead as you seem, what the fuck? Hey! But you keep living your lies

70. These New Puritans - We Want War (Ganon/ Dark Link/ any nemesis I guess) Shadows dance back up, it's happening again If you listen carefully you might hear them whisper: "We hold all the secrets, we hold all the words; But they're scrambled and broken so you'll never know" Can't you see them Floating like black ash? Can't you feel them Crawling down your back?

[drops-of-moonlights]

If the sailor moon characters lived in your au what would they be like. (specifically: Magi class , Transformations if they had any , source ect.)

I’ve been waiting for this ask for so long. Thank you, I’ve actually thought about this a L O T. Only going with the main 10 senshi plus Mamoru for this:

Usagi is hands down the Fairy of the Silver Moon. Like come on now, it fits too well. Source would be Light obvs with auxiliary Healing. I’m between Usagi probably sticking with Glamourix and Usagi earning Nymph of Altheix status just because she would have speedrun that on pure accident lmao. (Bonus: Serenity being the Witch of the Silver Moon instead, Light source with auxiliary Metal.)

Ami would probably be the Alchemist-Cicatrizer of Sleet, main source Water with auxiliary Ice. She would focus a lot on the development of healing and health-related potions. I can’t see her pursuing the morpher classes, but if she did, she would probably be content with earning Enchantix and calling it quits there.

Rei is a sorceress, she would absolutely go the “harder” path to prove she can do it (and of course she manages, she’s Rei Fucking Hino), plus she would find wings a bit tacky lmao. Sorceress of Fire Divination, obviously, main source Fire and auxiliary Darkness. She would probably pursue Onyrix.

Makoto would become a Fairy completely on accident, simply because of her nature. Like I don’t see her particularly caring between morpher and non-morpher she just wants to defend what’s right. She would be the Fairy of Trees, main source Plants with auxiliary Electricity and Healing. She would probably struggle a bit with getting Glamourix, but once that’s over she immediately gets Valiantix on pure accident, Makoto is not a strategist but she WOULD risk her life to save a random person, and so warrior form for her.

Minako is the Enchantress-Alchemist of Love, expert maker of love potions for one and all. OR SHE WOULD BE IF LOVE POTIONS WERE LEGAL, which immediately cost her her Alchemist license when she tried it. Minako is then the Fairy of Glamour, still a specialist in all things love and beauty. Her source is Metal with auxiliary Light, and she would pursue either Energix or Lustrix purely on aesthetics alone. Oh, she’s also known for being vicious in fighting, so watch out for that.

Mamoru would be the Conjuror of Roses, doing exactly what you think he would. He is not a creative person. His main source would be Plants with auxiliary Healing.

Chibiusa is the Witch of the Spring Night, having a Darkness Source with Auxiliary Plant, using a lot of plants that only bloom at night. Chibs is very different from her mother, being far more offensive and more dedicated in fighting. She would have taken a long time unlocking Glamourix, but once that’s done she would be notable for becoming the Nymph of Cosmix, having earnt it in record time. She also dabbled in both Light and Healing in an effort to be like her mom, but while she does well with them she stopped pursuing them seriously after becoming a teenager.

Hotaru is the Conjuror of Space, having a Healing Source with auxiliary Darkness. Her constructs tend to have a galaxy-esc pattern, hence her title. She’s probably one of the more tranquil Conjurors (as the class is mostly a fighting one), but she can be terrifying if properly motivated in a fight.

Haruka is very simply the Caster of Speed, with a Wind source and auxiliary Earth. Haruka wouldn’t really bother with pursuing the more complicated branches of magic, and is actually more akin to a Specialist in all but title and outfit.

Michiru is the Witch of the Sea. I don’t have to elaborate more here, we all know Michiru, we know this is true in our hearts. Michiru would have pursued Sirenix, but I can see her also with Energix.

Setsuna, lastly, is the Sorceress of Chemicals, having a Light source with auxiliary Earth. Time magic isn’t a thing in the AU outside of the Tracix spell (meaning you can only see past events, but not actually go to the past or the future), so instead she would focus on the dangerous properties of various elements present in the universe.

[sugar-petals]

Please do a tarot reading on bts personality? Thank you

if we’re talking personality, it’s time for the big guns. i promised i’d use this deck to an anon, today we’re doing a shaman soul reading. 

Jungkook: THE RAINBOW

A sign that the end of the storm is near. This card is truly blessed and imbued with great innocence because that’s exactly what Jungkook is. It’s the “everything is alright” signal: The rainbow symbolizes completion of the soul in the Himalayan region where shamans consider rainbows a bridge to the afterlife. Believe it or not: What we see as JK is the last incarnation of his line. His journey is basically complete (!), it is whole. He’s found what we will all find and the end which is a state of profound happiness. There’s a reason why he brings so much ease, fun, and talent everywhere he goes. That sense of lightness and positivity is deeply embedded in him. Brightness, bubbliness, fleeting moods but always optimistic. His personality is all about joy and the feeling of soaring high. It’s not a farce we see on camera, he really is like that. What I noticed is. Since we see a colorful bird dashing forward on a ray of light, I believe JK is headed somewhere blissful, and he’s headed there fast. The pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, pretty much. Not just the shamans in Nepal consider the rainbow as an arch, Norse ones do, too. The Bifröst bridge connects Midgard to the Æsir. Jungkook has a sort of divine connection going on. That’s why his personality is dignified. Bifröst is translated to ‘shimmering path’, that he got famous was destined from the beginning.

Hoseok: THE SWEAT LODGE

Hey, Mama. I am not surprised that this card is all about a connection to mother earth and all things maternal. The hut — and the ritual that is behind it — is essentially an image for the womb. Hoseok is looking for that warm and cozy feeling in his life. That tells you a whole lot about the personality we rarely see on stage, it’s a much calmer state. The act of sweating disperses old habits and bad thoughts, this is precisely what he seeks. That blissful, protected place/state of being attracts him, or rather, draws him back into his past. His character is so youthful and cheery because he longs for a space like the sweat lodge that leaves you relaxed, drained from the weight of the world, and without sorrows. What he longs for is purity. He’s let go of demons and phases in his life he’s grown out of. His goal is to feel renewed and being without baggage. Note also that the sweat lodge is a community place. He is deeply social, it’s not an act. Hoseok aspires to be a nurturing figure in the future, and peace is very important to him.

Jin: TAMING THE WIND

Think about it: Something as dynamic as air representing Jin makes a lot of sense. He might be a fire sign, but air is nonetheless strong in him. He is a person who is self-directed and cannot be grasped at any time. Air does what it wants, and few other forces can stop it. On top of that, wind is malleable. It can be completely still, gently blowing, come on strong, or be a flat out hurricane. The different levels of intensity are all present in Jin’s character. As in, he can be the introvert of all introverts only to turn into extroversion embodied. The card tells us about just how versatile he can be. That he will achieve more consistency in the future is represented by the act of taming: Yes, he will settle. Visually, the feather is the most important part of this card. It symbolizes a holy dedication to life and distributes smoke during shaman rituals. It can also be interpreted as a pointer when you’re in alignment. So, I’d describe Jin’s character as something that dispels the old to bring about harmony. Thus, he is wild and tame alike. Very interesting duality.

Namjoon: THUNDER

Next to Jimin’s card, this is the most powerful one I pulled. If you’re familiar with The Tower in tarot, THUNDER is similar. Especially in its spiritual weight. Thunder always hails of new things coming. Namjoon is that kind of vanguard. Even his voice booms like thunder man, that’s no coincidence. That he’s the leader of one of the most famous boy groups on this planet means something dramatic and big coming our way. At his core, he is revolutionary. Namjoon is Namjoon because of his message that’s loud, terrifying to great many a hater, and a call to awakening. I am certain he is on his way to enlightenment, I’m not kidding. Because think about, thunder comes first, then: lightning. It describes his personality progression well: Namjoon did a full 180° in the last years. He did all of his shadow work. This card always says a person is about to fulfill their purpose, so he’s currently at the very brink. He is scared to the core but knows that he’s destined for great things. Like buffalos storming ahead, he is unstoppable just like that. It’s because of him that the game changes 😊

Yoongi: THE PRESENT

Beside the literal interpretation of Yoongi being a present to this world which truly is the case, this card also means unconditional offering in a general sense. You’d think it’s his wonderful music that he has gifted us. The meaning of the card says otherwise, things go deeper, it’s about something that is not material in nature. Only true love and true feelings can fully belong to a person and they can give them as a present. I think this is what Yoongi’s personality at its deepest level is about. He is a generous man. Who is more giving than someone so dedicated and full of tender emotions. The card is also a signifier of gratitude, and I think Yoongi truly is thankful. The winged woman shown on the card lifts up the sun, which tells me Yoongi wants to uphold joy and that he was sent to us as an angelic, radiant being. Lil’ cherub he is. The card is colored in such a bright yellow and orange way, I think he could be a kind of light worker, even, if you’re familiar with this concept. What Yoongi’s aim is at its most basic level is to gain access to the happiness of life. And he wishes so dearly we experience it, too. I need a moment.

Jimin: THE INCA CROSS

Ooof. Oh shit. This card is a massive fucking deal. I’m stunned every time I see it. It has a huge wtf factor. A simple but overarching symbol. To shamans, the Inca Cross symbolizes all directions and dimensions coming together. It even connects the Underworld with the Gods themselves. It also has a hole in the middle, allowing us to travel to a different perspective. It tells me Jimin is the one holding everything around him together with his personality. He is that cross, a compass basically. He has access to greater wisdom. The Inca Cross is a big leap, this is what Jimin essentially is. What he exudes propels us forward and unites us. He can make people change their mind and direction in life. He is only halfway aware of that skill. I wouldn’t mess with him either way, he is the true axis of Bangtan. The crucial (=cross-like!) one, even Namjoon said that. Now what’s also important is not just the cross itself but also the color. It is made of solid gold, a very warm tone. His charm and soothing character is innate to Jimin, and that is a regal feat. It’s very important that he knows his worth, that is the crux —cross— of the matter. Now this is where it gets really metaphysical: That the Inca Cross bridges the lower, middle (Human), and upper realm to shamans in Peru is no coincidence. It tells us Jimin was sent from a place that is not this, aka the middle world. I think even people who are not into spirituality can feel that. He is either a saved soul from the Underworld so this is his first incarnation after a long time or he was sent from the Gods. Because the cross connects all worlds, it could even be both at the same time. And since the Inca Cross allows dimension and time travel (!)… maybe he can do even that. This card is telling me the wildest shit.

Taehyung: HEART OF SKY

During the last tarot readings I drew The Empress for him several times, the energy is no different here. This card has Queen of the Night type of imagery. It’s a very dreamy, whimsical woman immersed in melancholy, dressed in lavish garments. It’s not hard to see the parallel to Taehyung’s character. He is just as nostalgic and concerned with all things that bring more beauty to this planet. That is his purpose. I repeat: Taehyung is here to spread the fine things in life to bring us sophistication and wholesomeness. The Heart of Sky is quite possibly the card most connected to creativity and love. It encourages the one receiving it to paint. We know he’s already an artist at heart, the shaman cards know it, too. Heart of Sky means to pour out your emotions. And to show all your talents in a gorgeous way. The card is just… spot on. Nighttime plays an important role in this illustration, Tae is more Moon than Sun in personality. He’s in tune not just with his divine masculine, but also feminine. Perfect balance. The Heart of Sky carries with it a strong ethical component also, that means Taehyung is figuring out his intent very often. He’s a benevolent person, a creator. A good person, a benevolent heart. He wants the best for everyone, you and me, anybody.

Bangtan: THE SUN 

I also pulled a card for the personality of the group as a sum. THE SUN is pretty straightforward: BTS are luminaries, a figurative giant. A super-star. Shamans connect the sun to male energy so the allegory fits, there’s a bright and positive masculine quality in their work. BTS are a hot topic and the energy is high. Sometimes even overpowered because their solar pizzazz is so ardent — burning out is the #1 danger here. That’s why the members connected to the moon and night (Joon, Tae, Yoongi, to some extent Jimin) are so important to balance everything. Passion, humor, creativity, playfulness are always around when BTS is near. The sun is at the center or the universe and widely seen, the group indeed takes that center spot right now. Many other life forms depend on the sun, revolve around it, BTS and their light are needed. If they fall, a system collapses. The card tells us they are currently at their zenith, truly radiant now, soaring like the winged spirit on the card. Also, to state the obvious: Come on, who’s the sun of BTS? Hobi’s personality sticks out the most, reflects back to the group dynamic. This is his card and time to shine. He makes or breaks the deal and the cards know it. He sets the tone.

bighit: THE JAGUAR

I wanted to see what the personality of bighit as a whole is, too. Unsurprisingly — what came out is an animal who’s a roaring force to be reckoned with. The energy is a lot more competitive and serious compared to The Sun. I find it convincing and see why these cards came out: Lighthearted group, big business company. Now, the Jaguar has a dark side as well as extreme advantages. He sure doesn’t look like the scariest animal ever, but being on top of the food chain allows him to do whatever he pleases: He’ll never be prey. On the other hand, he is protected because he’s so strong. Bighit does have that quality of being untouchable. Much like the jaguar, it’s an undertaking that operated in the shadows for long. We know that Bang PD claims to have the secret success formula and isn’t as public as say Lee Soo Man and JYP. There is a component of mystery, and the other companies are careful because of it. On the light side, BTS certainly have powerful and rational guidance. To give an analogy from the jungle book: Bighit is like Bagheera, the voice of reason, infusing BTS with strength and knowledge.

if you like my readings, support your local tiger on ko-fi 🐅

[nat-roman0ff]

lover - pt. 2

lover, pt. 2 - the first kiss take me out, and take me home. -- words: 2k warnings: fluff, more gin and tonic, snow

The early winter chill cuts you to the core as a gust of wind blows by, knocking the air from your lungs. It had been a hell of a day at work, and you stomp as quickly as you can to the bar to meet with your sorta-kinda “friend-boy”, Shawn, for drinks. 

 It was new. So new, in fact, that you weren’t quite sure what to call it yet. You were definitely exclusive, but exclusively what was still up for debate. The lamp posts that line the city streets twinkle, wrapped in Christmas lights and the air is sterile and crisp with the smell of the upcoming winter. 

 Another gust slices you while you struggle with the front door to the bar you’re meeting Shawn at. He’s already there, and you feel like an asshole for being late, but also grateful that he reserved a spot for the two of you towards the back of the room. Work had been stressful, and you were ready to swig back a couple drinks and eat some greasy bar food. 

 You spot him first, tapping away on his phone, brows scrunched and that one little S curl hanging in the middle of his forehead. He’s chewing on the inside of his cheek, something you picked up on quickly as a nervous habit for him. His eyes scan the room nervously, melting when they lock on you. 

Shawn waves you over and pulls the seat out at the table by the picture window. It has just the right amount of glow and the he looks absolutely divine in the dimly lit bar (although you could argue he just about looked divine anywhere). You shrug off your coat and plop into the seat across from him.

 “Rough day at the office?” He asks with a chuckle. 

 You groan, “that obvious, huh?” 

 Shawn laughs, “when you texted me ‘I need to fucking drink tonight’ I figured it was a trying time. I hope you don’t mind, but I already ordered us some beer.” 

 You breathe a sigh of relief, “oh thank god. As long as it’s not Corona.” 

 Shawn’s face goes white. 

 “So I ordered myself  some beers,” he answers. 

 You laugh, “it’s fine, drink your piss water. I’ll have a big girl drink.” 

 He smirks and the two of you sit in a sort of comfortable silence. It takes your fingers and toes a few moments to warm up, and your senses start to clear as your body melts from the freezing cold outside to the toastiness of the bar. The quiet doesn’t make either of you uncomfortable. He’s the first person you’d ever met that didn’t need to fill a room with noise or chatter. The two of you, sitting together with the harmony of the jukebox and clinking glasses brings peace.

 “So what was your day like?” You ask when your drink arrives, “anything exceptional going on in the world of Shawn Mendes?” 

 He shakes his head, “if laundry and leg day are exceptional, then yes.”

 “Everything you do is exceptional,” you let out, not even mad that your lips spoke before your brain had a second to edit. 

 Shawn tilts his head, his lips curling up at the corners, “you really think so?” 

 You nod, “of course. You’re probably the most down to Earth and normal person I know. Which is terrifying considering you’re, ya know, you. I’m sure you find my office talk very boring when you’re Snapchatting John Mayer.” 

 His smile fades, “oh.” 

 “No not like that!” You defend, “Not like, ‘oh you’re normal for a famous guy’. I just mean…I don’t know, I’ve never known someone that’s had success like you before. I just figured you’d have a big head or something. Like your head physically is quite large. Maybe it’s the hair. Shit, I’m fucking rambling. Sorry.” 

 You pick at your chipping nail polish under the table, looking to your hands and avoiding Shawn’s gaze at all costs. 

 “It’s just hard to get to know people,” he starts, “It’s hard to get to know people who are genuinely in it for me, or in it for everything that comes along with it. I can’t hide who I am or what I do or pretend that it doesn’t exist. But I certainly hope that you’re here because you like me.” 

 You smile, “I do.” 

 Shawn’s eyes catch yours, and though you both don’t know it yet, it’s not the first time he’ll hear you say those words.

 -

 The winter never suited you. Despite living your entire life in a place with a frigid winter climate, there was something about the bone chilling cold that just hurt. You huddle as closely to Shawn as you can while you walk the short distance from the bar to his condo. He holds your frozen hand tight in his, occasionally rubbing the soft skin at the back of your hand with his thumb.

 The treetops shine with Christmas lights, some even zigzagged across the road, illuminating the streets below while the early winter snow dusts the streets. Your body shakes involuntarily against the cold as you feel it seep through all your layers.

 “I could give you my coat if you want?” Shawn says, feeling you shiver beside him. 

 “No, s’fine. Just a wuss when it comes to the cold.” 

 “Hold onto my arm,” he says, “come in a little closer, you’ll be warmer.” 

 There’s a blueprint of a smile when he says it, but it goes as quickly as it came. 

 Have you ever been able to pinpoint a single moment in your life where you know it’s the beginning of a radical change? An absolute millisecond of realization that nothing going forward will ever be the same?

 It happens as quickly as blinking, you think. One second he’s the boy sitting across from you and the next he’s the man you’re going to fall in love with (although neither of you know that just yet). It’s something like electricity, a sort of static that buzzes and you know the universe is colliding with all it’s little atoms and although you can’t see it you can feel it. It’s in the air, in the way that it pricks your skin and leaves your hair on edge. It’s in the unrhythmic beating of your heart, in how it surges the blood in your veins. Every particle is thick and palpable and you can feel the universe shift around you, for you.

 “You okay?” He asks, his hand giving yours a quick squeeze. 

 You nod. He lets you stay quiet, and you think that’s what you enjoy the most about him. He doesn’t need to fill the air with noise or words, doesn’t have to fill the space between you with promises of tomorrows and Sundays. Just the buzzing of the air and the flurry-lined streets of Toronto are enough to satisfy.

 “We’re close, my place is right here,” Shawn says, pointing to the building across the street. 

 Breathing a sigh of relief you loosen your grip on him a touch, giving him space to fish out his keys. He’d never taken you home before, on the few dates here and there that you had been on. Usually you just parted ways wherever you were meeting your he ordered you an Uber to get home safely. It had been his suggestion that you go back to his, and with the promise of fuzzy blankets, a comfy couch, a fireplace, and Christmas movies, it was a hard offer to pass up.

 The condo surprised you, but not in a bad way. It was much smaller than you’d imagined. A simple one bedroom; modern with clean lines but nothing over the top. It was unusually clean too, but then you remembered he was rarely home enough to get comfortable before taking off again to live the life that came along with being him.

 That was going to take some getting used to.

 “This is different than what I expected,” you say, shrugging off your coat and placing it on the hook by the door, neatly lining up your shoes beside his.

 Shawn couldn’t help but think how perfect your things looked beside his, and it wouldn’t be for another year and a half when he’d ask you to leave them there permanently. 

 “Different?” He asks, “Like, bad? Were you expecting a waterfall? Trophy case? A renaissance style portrait of Drake above the fireplace?” 

 You laugh and pinch his side. In one swoop he pulls you into his arms, pressing his forehead against yours, the tip of his nose brushing yours. You think he’s going to kiss you but instead he lets you go and takes a half step back, worried he’s moved too fast, too soon.

 “It’s...cozy. It’s simple,” you point at the streamlined kitchen, “but also unequivocally you.”

 He follows your gaze to the array of photos on the wall of friends and family. There’s even a photobooth strip of the two of you from the wedding you met at just a couple months ago. 

 “Do you want a drink?” He asks, pointing to the bar cart in the living room. 

 You scoff, “is that even a question?” 

 Shawn smirks, “Gin and tonic, right?” 

 You nod, and he starts to busy himself with making your drinks. You scan his gallery wall, smile so wide it hurts your cheeks as you look at childhood photos, recognizing old faces in younger days.

 “So what are you doing for the holidays?” He asks when he hands you a drink.

 You shrug, “just a boring Christmas at my parents. Presents in our pajamas, a good home cooked meal and some movies. Nothing crazy, we keep it pretty low key.” 

 Shawn smiles, “that sounds perfect.” 

 You take the first sip of your drink. Honestly, it’s shit. 

 “What about you? Any big plans?” 

 He shakes his head, “not really. We keep it pretty quiet on Christmas day. But, my parents do throw a big party on Christmas Eve. The whole family is there, close friends, things like that,” he pauses for a second and chews the inside of his cheek, “I was...wonderingifmaybeyou’dliketocome?” He says in one quick breath. 

 You purse your lips together to try and hide the shit eating grin on your face, “I’d love to.” 

 Shawn looks at you, like really looks at you. He’s searching for something in your face, eyes focusing on yours and a deep crease forms between his brows. Before you can ask what he’s doing, he speaks. 

 “Can I show you something?” He asks. 

 You shrug, “sure.” 

 He plucks your glass from your hand and places it on the coffee table next to his. With your hand in his, he brings you to the other side of the living room, where a small desk studio is set up overlooking the city lights of Toronto. He sits down and starts clicking around the computer’s desktop for something, opening a program with a bunch of notches and lines and nothing that makes sense to you. 

 “Can I play you a new song?” 

 All the air is sucked from your lungs before you can speak, “absolutely, yeah,” you manage to choke out.

 Shawn smiles wide and clicks play, turning up the speakers on the desk. It starts slow, a wedding band type of slow that you picture slow dancing with your Lover to. It makes you feel...warm, and safe, and happy, and at home. The room melts around you as the tempo picks up into the chorus and Shawn’s voice is so delicate and raw that you almost feel embarrassed for listening in. You stand facing the floor to ceiling window, watching the snow blanket the city and swirl around you like a living snow globe. You’re not sure at which point Shawn stands next to you, but his fingers intertwine through yours as you both stare out of the window in front of you, his song echoing off the walls.

 It ends on a single chord that leaves your ears ringing and he waits a few seconds before turning his head to look at you. 

 “So what did you think?” He asks, his voice shaky.

 He doesn’t have the nerve yet to tell you he wrote it for you the day after you first met.

 “Can I kiss you?” You respond.

 Shawn relaxes a touch, a smile tugging at his lips, “yeah, I think I would love that.” 

[backofthebookshelf]

Book Recs for Magnus Archives Fans

I was just rambling in tags the other day about how my avatarsona was "the Archivist, but a public librarian: Oh, you like dirt?? Let me tell you all the dirt stories I have!!!!" so, uh, here I am I guess.

I'm gonna spare you all the M.R. James and Algernon Blackwood and House of Leaves and Blindsight; you know all that already. These are my horror backlist recs.

The Bone Key by Sarah Monette Y'all. Y'ALL. Kyle Murchison Booth was absolutely the Archivist before Gertrude. He was poached from the Parrington by the Usher Foundation and the Eye glommed onto him at once, because the Eye loves disaster queers who can't people right (and also Gertrude). This I believe to be true, and so will you.

Kyle Murchison Booth is an archivist at the Parrington Museum, which is somewhere in New England, sometime in the early twentieth century. He also has a lifelong entanglement with the supernatural which is almost entirely not his fault, and he would very much like it to stop, but he also feels responsible and he can't just let evil mirrors and cursed necklaces and possessed dressing gowns randomly eat people who have no idea what's happening. Even if it means he's going to suffer for it.

(This collection doesn't contain all of the Booth stories, so here I am going to link to "White Charles", which happens to be my very favorite Booth story.)

For you if your favorite part is: honestly everything about MAG, from the modern sensibilities about early twentieth-century-horror, truly eerie ghost stories, to suffering eldritch librarians (thanks to whoever tagged my most recent fic with that you're so valid), monsterfucking and soft gay pining. No happy endings here, sorry.

Bedfellow by Jeremy C. Shipp You may or may not have heard that Macmillan-Tor is launching a horror imprint, and I don't know how long it's been since a major publishing house has had a horror imprint, but I am EXCITE. This book is part of the trend that's the reason why: Tor.com has been publishing these kickass novellas for a couple years now, and their horror books are top notch.

One night a stranger knocks on a family's living room window and asks to be invited in. They ask him to stay the night. He's an old friend, after all, he needs a place to stay. You can't kick out your twin brother when he's just gotten divorced, no matter how much Gatorade he spills on your two-year-old hardwood floors.

For you if your favorite part is: the Stranger, this is all Stranger, it's terrifying and good.

Through the Woods by Emily Carroll A graphic novel, some of these were originally posted as webcomics (have you seen His Face All Red, and if not, why not???) and the only disadvantage to having them in book form is they can't blink at you. Probably. Very folktale-ish, with all the death and violence that implies, and also the slightly eerie feeling that you know this story already, and then it turns around and slaps you.

For you if your favorite part is: looking over your shoulder when the foley gets good; Once Upon a Time in Space (I know that's not technically part of the Magnus Archives but shush)

Universal Harvester by John Darnielle I am not usually a fan of artists who jump media. Just because you can write songs doesn't mean you can write novels. Apparently writing good songs doesn't mean you can't write good novels, though, because John Darnielle of The Mountain Goats (pretty sure that's his full name at this point) wrote Universal Harvester and I love him for it.

Jeremy works at a video rental place in Nevada, Iowa (it's pronounced Nah-vey-da, and yes it’s real, I've been there, and yes, it's probably haunted). It's the 1990s, and someone's been returning their VHS tapes with something on them that isn't just the movie. Footage that includes a barn that he recognizes, just outside of town.

Fair warning: this is not the kind of mystery that gets tied up in a nice bow at the end.

For you if your favorite part is: Jon losing it with paranoia in S2, The People's Church of the Divine Host, the Lonely

The Good House by Tananarive Due If this author's name is unfamiliar to you, RUN, do not walk, to your nearest internet bookseller and purchase every single one of her books immediately, you will not regret it. She also just came out with a documentary on black horror, Horror Noire, on the Shudder streaming service. They've got a free month if you aren't a horror movie person, it'd be worth your while. This book summary sounds like it's full of tropes. It is, but Due has the cred to write them well.

Angela Toussaint hopes to salvage her suffering marriage and her troubled relationship with her teenage son with a trip to her grandmother's house, a home so beloved the locals in small-town Washington state call it "The Good House," but tragedy strikes instead. Two years later she returns and finds that the tragedy isn't over, and it's not going to stop on its own.

For you if your favorite part is: the very practical statement-givers who know what's happening to them and Will Not Put Up With This Shit, the Desolation, the Hill Top Road statements

The Library at Mount Char by Scott Hawkins Is this horror disguised as fantasy? Found family disguised as horror? Grown-up Neil Gaiman? Less grimdark George R.R. Martin? Honestly I have no fucking idea, but it's amazing. Fair warning, unlike Magnus Archives, this deserves all kinds of trigger warnings, including but not necessarily limited to: sexual assault, torture, mental manipulation, dysfunctional families, incest(?)

Father is missing, and his twelve children (though extremely talented in their own ways, and not strictly speaking children any more) are at a loss without him. But also, without him, things are starting to seem different. He might be God? They might not be human? (They were probably human once.) He might not be God but maybe one of them might be next? If any of them survive.

For you if your favorite part is: slowly turning into a monster, the relationships between entities and avatars, monsters hot (not kidding about the trigger warnings)

The Loney by Andrew Michael Hurley I have to keep reminding myself that Magnus Archives isn't really folk horror, there are two separate (if related) strains of British horror here and folk horror is not the one we're on, but at the same time I really want a good creepy rural pagan cult to show up in the series, you know? Anyway.

When he was a child, our narrator used to go with his family on an Easter pilgrimage to shrine on a bleak stretch of Lancaster coastline locals called The Loney. His Catholic mother was searching for a cure for his older brother, and she was convinced if they kept going long enough she would be granted her wish. The locals, however, are not huge fans of her annual visits, and even less so when the boys become involved with the goings-on of a pair of glamorous tourists.

For you if your favorite part is: the Lukases, I didn't realize until I was writing this up that I'm picturing Moreland House in the exact place described by this book

Eutopia by David Nickle One thing I love about the historical statements in Magnus Archives is just how truly historical they are. There's almost nothing in "The Piper" that isn't historically accurate - yes, Wilfrid Owen spent several days in a trench underneath the shredded bodies of his fellow soldiers. Like. You can't make up horror worse than that. But then you add monsters and it gets good. And I'm a sucker for early-twentieth-century history, it's such a bonkers time.

It's 1911 and the new Eugenics Record Office is sending agents out to catalog the disabled, infirm, and otherwise undesirable members of society so they can figure out what to do about them. In the utopian town of Eliada, Idaho, Dr. Andrew Waggoner runs from the racism of American society and straight into the influence of Mister Juke, the most troubling patient in his new practice. (Trigger warnings for, obviously, a whole lot of ableism. Treated like the monstrousness it is, but there's a lot of it.)

For you if your favorite part is: learning history through horror, the Flesh

A Head Full of Ghosts by Paul Tremblay I hate male writers writing about teenage girls, so you are going to have to trust me when I say that I had to check, several times while reading this book, to make sure that Paul Tremblay is actually a dude. He's very good. This book was kind of his breakout, so if you follow horror you've read it already, but if you don't necessarily then please do not miss it. His newer ones, Disappearance at Devil's Rock (Stranger, Spiral) and The Cabin at the End of the World (Slaughter, Extinction), are also good but not as good as this, I think.

Fourteen-year-old Marjorie is having a rough time - outbursts, hallucinations, paranoia. Treatment is difficult (and expensive) and her family ambivalent; they turn to a local Catholic priest, who recommends an exorcism and, to help manage those medical bills, a production company who's interested in filming a reality TV show about the process. Fifteen years later, Marjorie's sister deconstructs the now-famous show and wrestles with her own memories of childhood. Trigger warnings for ableism on the part of many of the characters, but not the narrative.

For you if your favorite part is: the Spiral, metafictional analysis of horror tropes

[kdtheghostwriter]

SNK 122 - Avalanche

Who would have thought when it happened that Eren kissing Historia’s hand would be THE moment of Shingeki no Kyojin. Imagine you’re picking up this lovely series for the first time. You see a fresh take on the survival-horror genre and think, “I could get into this.” A couple volumes in, you discover the zombie horde tale was a clever cover for a fleshy mecha gimmick. “Weird,” you think, “but ok.” Now it’s ten years and 130+ chapters later. We’re all reading a retelling of the Norse Myth of Creation wrapped in a cozy WWII disguise.

What do any of these words mean? Join me under the cut. It’s time for lore.

Thoughts on the chapter first. We finally get to see the life and times of Founder Ymir. Not surprisingly, she appears to be of vague Northern European origin in what appears to be the Middle Ages. The ancient Eldians were Vikings basically, but back then they weren’t even Eldian. They were human just like everyone else…until they weren’t.

Founder Ymir’s story eerily mirrors that of 104th Ymir. As a small child, she was nothing more than a scapegoat. Born a servant girl, she empathized with the group of pigs that had been captured. She released them, no doubt ruining someone’s feast in the process. A soldier asks who the offending party is and we see a great panel of Ymir surrounded by pointing fingers John Wick style.

Much like Mr. Wick, Ymir goes on the run only in a much different context. John Wick, in his universe, is the most prolific assassin alive. He’s on the run, but he’s not defenseless. Ymir is a child and is defenseless. The men (and I do emphasize the grown men) that chase after her never perceive her as a threat. They’re having a sporting time terrifying and slowly killing this innocent child. Running out of energy and time, Ymir happens across a humongous tree and decides an odd hiding spot is better than none at all. Entering the base of the tree, she falls down into an unseen hole – like Alice into the looking glass – and just as she’s about to lose consciousness, she comes in contact with what can only be described as…this.

A parasite? An alien lifeform? An ancient Eldridge manifestation? Maybe. Just like another old Myth there isn’t really a clear answer nor will there be. ‘Tis the Source of all Organic Matter and it was always there it was, lad.

We get several lessons here about how history can warp our perceptions of the individual players in both a positive and negative sense. Ymir never made a deal with the Devil to get her overwhelming power. She literally fell backwards into a divot and came out big as a mountain. On the other hand, the Founding Titan was not this ethereal being of divine beauty. The First Titan was grotesque to look at. It had no true face and its ribs were exposed, which I guess makes sense for a creature that large. Founder Ymir was a victim of circumstance and oppression. She has the power of nature and God at her fingertips but has only known servitude. That’s why there is no objection when she hears the following.

Not only is there CLEARLY no consent here, but I’m fairly sure Ymir is barely a teenager here so – Double Dose of Yikes!

Fittingly (or tragically, who can tell at this point), Ymir has three daughters: Maria, Rose and Sina. She raises her children while helping her nation conquer the lands around them with her unmatched power. However, thirteen years after her eldest child is born, a rogue soldier makes an attempt on the king’s life and Ymir leaps in front of the spear; one final act of indentured service.

Sort of. She is told correctly that she isn’t in danger. No doubt she has come back from far worse injuries than a spear to the collar. King Fritz tells her to get up and continue being a slave and Ymir says fuck you with her whole chest and gives up the ghost right there.

This shocking development leads to two things. First, we see the most graphic panel in a series full of gore and body horror as the children of Ymir are forced by Dear Old Dad to cannibalize their mother’s still-cooling corpse in order to obtain her power. Then, we see Ymir wake up in what we now know as the Paths dimension. Here she shall stay until a certain someone is able to receive and respond to her call for help.

That’s all for the backstory, now what about the source? It’s been documented well that Isayama loves myth and folklore especially of the Norse variety. Near the beginning of #122 we see Ymir fall into a tree that Momtaku and her co-host Luna succinctly describe as “both phallic and vulvic at the same time.” This seems like a clear reference to Yggdrasil, The World Tree. Yggdrasil is an interdimensional bridge with each branch connecting to a different realm, not unlike the branches we see in the PATHS dimension. Then we have the spine-like creature that latches on to Ymir like Symbiote under the tree. See if this looks familiar.

Nidhogg is a serpent that is known for eating away at the roots of the World Tree. It also has a famous rivalry with an unnamed eagle that sits atop Yggdrasil. A constant struggle between freedom and entrapment which is of course a central theme to this story. I’ve seen meta theorize that if the briny parasite represents the serpent of the Tree, that Eren Jaeger would represent the eagle the overlooks it and seeing how he’s spent most of this tale with wings on his back, that makes about as much sense as anything else.

It’s all a lead-up to Ragnarok: the End of the World.

Yup, that looks like the end to me.

When the First King lined up those Titans to form those walls, he couldn’t have known someone would find the one loophole to circumvent his failsafe. The reason the Coordinate Powers only fully activate for those of Royal Blood. It isn’t because of their genes alone. Ymir is a slave to the Royal Family, even centuries after her physical death. It isn’t until someone gives her a choice that she even thinks to take a different course of action.

What a charmer. This panel and the one that follows are both very important to me. Zeke, in his frenzy is a spitting image of King Fritz. Yes, the are directly related but also, I think there is something to be said of him taking on the form of Ymir’s greatest oppressor. After she hears Eren’s pitch to lend him her world-shattering power we see her eyes, full of tears, for the first time. Not an accident. It’s the first time in 2,000 years anyone has treated her like a person.

This is not an official theory or anything but it’s how I interpret this. The title of this chapter ‘From You, 2,000 Years Ago’ is of great significance outside of how it mirrors the title of the very first chapter. Ymir was sending a message and when we remember the Attack Titan’s special trait of moving (and looking) forward it’s clear who the messenger was. The question then becomes, was Eren the only one who was able to answer the call? Yes, just not for the reasons you would think.

 Technically, any of the Attack Titans (or any of them, I guess) could have unlocked the PATHS with enough work. The problem is, the only knowledge of Ymir’s story and the history of the Eldian people was with the Coordinate which, historically, was possessed by the Royal Line. It wasn’t until that fateful night when Grisha stole the Coordinate away that a very specific set of conditions could be met.

Once a single person of their own free will got even a glimpse of the tortured history and fate of Founder Ymir it was enough to set an incredibly complex series of events into motion. This is why the Attack Titan, even during the Great Titan War, can never listen to reason. They know what the end game is, thanks to Eren sending them snaps of that scenery.

Eren was special after all. Just not in the way we first thought. Funny that.

  Stray Thoughts

- Keep in mind that the final panel of Eren’s new Titan exploding out of his severed head happens the instant it lands in Zeke’s hand. How must Gabi be feeling right now? You think you’ve slain the Devil of the Earth and all you’ve done instead is give him immense power and an army of unstoppable giants. Someone get the Bart cake gif in the replys.

- The most impressive part of seeing Ymir’s backstory is that it was largely done with no dialogue. Almost felt like we were reading a scroll or ancient tome. Credit to the author for crafting such a deep, rich world to explore. Somehow, Shingeki no Kyojin isn’t the story he’s always wanted to tell but it will rightfully be the one he is best known for.

- Once again Zeke blows a 3-1 lead by being an entitled shithead. He and the rest of his family knew the story of Ymir and the fate she suffered and still saw fit to not only keep her imprisoned but to use her as a tool to subjugate their own people. No tears from me, muchacho.

[serpentscribe]

Removing Labels

Zen is the concept of experiencing the truth, the absolute reality in every single moment. 

This means coming back to the “is-ness” of reality, or simply being present with what is. 

In order to come back to what is, one must remove that which is not. 

Falsehood, the diluted truth, subjective truth, half-truths, and the like are the veils which suppress the absolute truth. 

To remove the dilutions of truth, one must return to the purity of it. In order to experience this, one must return to the purity of themselves. 

In order to experience the purity of oneself, one must release their relative attachments. The planes of existence can be broken down to the spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical levels. 

The emotional, mental, and physical attachments are those which keep one bound to the illusion. Emotional attachments hinder you from seeing clearly, your identification with your own thoughts hinders you from seeing the truth of what is,  and being attached to your physical reality keeps you locked down in the material plane- keeping you from ascending to higher planes of consciousness. 

In order to transcend these attachments, come back to your purity on the spiritual plane; your divine essence. If you can observe your body, thoughts, and emotions then you are not them: you are pure consciousness; a soul. 

When you come back to this core essence, the ultimate truth of reality unfolds. When you come back to the truth of yourself, you become the truth. When you become the truth, you no longer have to look anywhere for it: you are it.  

In this pure divine essence of yourself, you are no longer stuck in thinking. Your identification with thoughts is one of your biggest hindrances. Instead of being with the purity of what is, you identify with the labels that your thoughts put on reality. 

“Good” and “bad” are common labels most identify with. Good being everything you love, bad being everything you hate. But these are mere polarities, black and white, night and day- two sides of the same coin. 

There is nothing that is “good” or “bad”- as these are mere labels that you define your reality with which have no basis in truth. When you come back to that place of soul, that purity of yourself- there is no “good” or “bad”- there just is. 

Good and bad, pretty and ugly, love and hate- it’s all just your monkey mind that might as well be scratching its ass saying “oooh-oooh-aaah-aaah.” When you come to the purity of what is, these labels don’t hold up as you transcend all illusion, perception, and subjectivity.

The fourth hermetic principle in the hermetic philosophy is that of polarity; that is “everything is dual, everything has two poles, everything has its pair of opposites.” 

This concept of polarity is an inevitable “law of the land” in the universe within which you exist. There are night and day, sun and moon, hot and cold, black and white, joy and pain- all symbolizing the inescapable, universal law of polarity. 

The whole “Yin and Yang” concept conveys that one cannot exist without the other; though the two are opposites, they are complementary. 

If this world is governed by the law of polarity, understanding both polarities is the only way to understand not only half- but the full truth of what is. 

Due to the labels most put on the yin, or the dark- they are not able to fully understand it. They see this polarity and automatically label it as “bad,” “ugly” or “evil.” 

Whether it be labeling ‘the devil’ evil, or labeling your own suppressed trauma ugly- when you label something, you are automatically dismissing it. 

There is no longer room to understand something when it has already been boxed into a label. Your mind has already defined what it is, so to you- there is no need to explore it further. 

Because you have already labeled and identified with the thinking apparatus as to what you believe a certain energy to be, you cannot understand the purity of that energy for you are not in the purity of your own true essence. 

It is only through removing your projected labels that you may understand the purity of what is- of truth. 

In order to transcend the law of polarity and live above it, per se, one must counterbalance the law. To counterbalance the law of polarity, which is simply extremes of opposing degrees and everything in between, one must neutralize themselves.

Say the law of polarity manifests as mood swings: you are extremely joyful one moment and crying the next. This is you simply experiencing the two polarities of your emotions. In order to transcend this swing of rhythm from polarity to polarity, one must neutralize themselves emotionally. 

Once you stop reacting to your emotions and observe them with an objective view, you neutralize yourself. You are no longer reacting to your sadness or your joy; you are simply neutral, watching the tides of your emotions rise and fall as they inevitably do. 

In order to get past law, you must counterbalance the law. The law does not have power over you as you have an objective perspective on it rather than being subjectively swung from polarity to polarity.

The mastery of neutralization is becoming the player of your game of life rather than being moved like a pawn. True power is being unmoved by forces outside of yourself. 

You are only subject to the universal laws when they rule over you. When you understand and internalize the laws, you become them. 

So in the conversation of polarity, should you become the law of polarity, you may harness its power and utilize it rather than being subject to it. You now experience law objectively. 

One may only become the law of polarity if they venture through both the darkness and the light- understanding the purity of all energies within oneself so that they may become and therefore utilize them. 

In order for one to get to the point where they are comfortable exploring both the darkness and the light, they must first initiate themselves through the law of neutralization. 

By neutralizing yourself and removing your labels on these said polarities, you are able to explore them with an objective perspective. You are simply the observer, neutral to what it is that you discover.

Neutrality is a prerequisite to self-discovery.  

All knowledge is knowledge of self, so the best way to explore and become the law of polarity is to explore the poles within oneself. One should explore their so-called darkness and light from an objective perspective, free from labels. 

“Oh that childhood trauma is so ugly, I don’t want to look at it.”

“The way my friends treat me is rude, but I’ll just look past it to avoid conflict.” 

“I had a weird thought about someone, but I’ll just act like it never happened.” 

“I had a really weird dream, but I’ll just pretend I didn’t. Besides, it was just a dream.” 

Yes, because it’s not like your childhood trauma manifests in your everyday life or anything. 

It’s not like your weird thoughts are actually parts of yourself needing to be healed. 

It’s not like your dreams are your subconscious mind communicating to you. 

No- let’s just suppress, suppress, suppress; because all that dark, weird shit is too terrifying to look at. Let’s just bury it way deep within the subconscious mind and act like it never happened. 

This is the common perspective of a pawn, subject to the law of polarity. The dark is bad, the light is good. Anything labeled bad gets stored away into the darkness, and anything labeled good gets blasted through the megaphone. 

We see this with social media- everyone posting the best moments of their lives, making it seem like it’s all fine and dandy. They’re just living a perfect life. 

Yet, they cheat on their partner regularly. They abuse their dog. They have a fetish for toenails. These are just examples of how whacked out humanity gets, and these too are the things you will never see on their social media accounts. 

All the repressed trauma, all the shit you’ve hidden from people, all the weird thoughts you regularly have- these are all building up tension within the subconscious mind. Until the darkness you are suppressing is acknowledged, its presence will linger like a shadow, waiting for you to acknowledge it. 

You have pushed your shadow away, not realizing that your darkness is inevitable. It is one and the same with your light, merely the opposite polarity representing a contrast. Without the exploration of the shadow, it grows angrier as it is continually suffocated by your escapism. 

Whether it is doing drugs, “fucking bitches,” scrolling social media, binge watching netflix, staying glued to the news, watching youtube- all these forms of escapism simply circle you round and round to be in this constant swing from polarity to polarity. 

You are a mere pawn being moved by the laws rather than being brave enough to neutralize yourself and explore your polarities. You must gain mastery over the laws if you want any control over your life- lest you be moved like a puppet on a string. Once you know yourself, you are the puppetmaster. 

Through removing the labels that you have put on certain parts of yourself, you may open yourself up to explore and therefore heal them. 

You don’t have to live every day with crazy thoughts, weird dreams, odd interactions, awkward feelings, and no control over your life. Through exploring the depths of your subconscious mind, the darkness within you, you are able to transmute it. The first step is to remove your labels and acknowledge your reality. 

All knowledge is knowledge of self, so one is able to deeper understand those around them if they understand themselves deeply. 

Similarly, when one is identified with labels, they not only label parts of themselves- but they label others just the same. To truly be with others one must remove the labels they project onto the world around them. 

Not only will removing labels help you know yourself, it will also help you deepen your relationship with those around you as you have the openness to be with them, and experience them fully. 

The Tantrics teach that the microcosm (individual) parallels everything in the macrocosm (the universe). The Tantric principles confirm that everything which exists in the universe exists also in the individual body. 

With this being said- the study of one individual (microcosm) is a study of the whole universe (macrocosm). 

All knowledge is knowledge of self. Through gaining mastery over the whole of oneself, one gains mastery over the greater whole as a byproduct. 

Microcosm and macrocosm are not separate. Through discovering the truth of oneself, one discovers the absolute truth. 

Through removing labels and exploring the depths of oneself, one discovers the truth. Explore all parts of you without hesitation. Know thyself, for even in the deepest depths of your darkness, it is still only you. 

Your greatest enemy is yourself. Face that enemy head on so that you may gain knowledge of self. 

Through knowledge of self comes the realization of ultimate truth. 

[twitchesandstitches]

Aradia’s Playful Ghost Rampage

It was that time of year again, the very favorite-est season of Aradia Megido, Burgundy Goddess of Death and Secrets, and a prime time for giving mortals a healthy bit of a fright.

Even in the distant eons as a mortal herself, before she and her friends had ascended to divinity and reshaped the cosmos into a more pleasing design, she had loved the fall. Small wonder that when they had worked into localized religious variants of their creations to make holidays that pleased them, Aradia had chosen to invest into many cultures a sense of liminal time for the fall; an idea that it was when the lands of the dead and the living touched again. And others just found that time of year kind of ominous, which suited her fine!

Aradia had something of a tradition. Every year, on this time, if there was nothing else for her to occupy herself with, she would descend to the mortal world with as little power as she could use in order to actually fit near them, and give them the best scare she could!

Sometimes, the others joined her, but not this year. At least, not yet. Aradia left the halls of the gods, knowing that Terezi Pyrope, the top goddess and leader of them all, was giving her a grin and totally having Karkat watch the proceedings. That just encouraged Aradia to smile, and decide to put on the best show she could, off the top of her head.

She seemed to disappear to them. She simply willed herself to dissipate into the multiverse, and focus her essence to her target: a city on a nice little world in one of the less excitable universes, in an mild cross-section of the multiverse. At least, the bits of it suitable for mortal life! She had a hard time going to the immortal realms, owing to her connection to death and time (which were not things that most immortals really understood or experienced) but she would get there eventually and surprise them good. And perhaps seek out all their interesting secrets. But that was for another time.

Universes rippled and politely shifted away as Aradia descended from the divine plane that she and the other divinities occupied when not incarnated on the mortal realm somewhere. She was pretty good at working out how to keep her divine power without having to incubate it as a regular mortal for a few dozen years or so, but with her etheric mass as big as a couple universes, there was a lot of Aradia to push on down.

She compromised, leaving the vast majority of her power behind, to draw her back when she had her fun. It was so tiring to do that she almost free fell, out of control, with most of her just flying away.

Oh no, I lost too much! She realized as she became minuscule, shrinking away to a tiny microscopic fraction of her true glory. She was dwindling,, becoming so tiny, so… helpless… She tried to muster her courage, and not think about it too much. It would only be for a short while, of course! That made her feel a bit better, and it helped to suddenly be oriented properly by her arrival in the world.

She estimated herself to be at less than five percent of her usual power. The shrunk down, hands off version of her she became in the mortal world, anyway; she’d never been this tiny, not since before she ascended to godhood. She scowled, not liking this massive reduction; still, it was only for a short time. She put a lot of effort into these pranks, after all. Still… Vriska would tease her about it, she knew it, and she’d have to make her pay somehow.

Even down to a tiny fraction of her power, her mere presence did things to the world. A wave of ghostly pressure raced out, making leaves fall and grass move without wind, windows rattle and doors open and close all on their own. It set up, in every part of this world, a perfect spooky ambience!

Aradia didn’t do that deliberately but she certainly didn’t mind. And she might have claimed otherwise later on.

Upon the little world she chose to mess with, here and now, the epicenter of her shockwave as she entered local reality came from a city, ordinary in all respects, and they soon found their view of the sky blocked. Far above them, the sky darkened, and for a moment they wondered if clouds had twisted up to block out the sun. It grew darker still, taking on solid form, and they saw something vast, too big to be properly seen. A vast curvature, rising from somewhere just out of view, looming high over everything, something massive and blunt extending over and pointing right down at them.

Translucency faded away. What seemed to them a vast pillar became solid and moved, rising up… up. Moving with a terrible ponderousness, as inevitable as the movement of continents, and the people below saw the vastness behind it, the same deep dark color of an adult troll’s skin, and there were more pillars behind it, folded up organically, and as it moved above them, they realized, with a shock, that it was a massive hand.

And with a marvelous sense of drama, there came the rest of Aradia Megido.

Her face appeared before them, looking as large as the moon; for all they knew, it might have been bigger. (It wasn’t, not now.) Broad and cute and beautifully alien. Her massive, brown-red lips were quirked into an impish smile, and beside her vast cloud of hair and the imposingly huge spiked ram-horns curling behind her head, they could make out nothing else. They could barely see her at all; she was so large that they were but barely perceptible specks to her, and only her divine senses permitted her to make them out at all.

The whole city stopped, and for miles around, entire countries halted too, and to a soul every single person gaped at the terrifying scale of the troll goddess descending upon them.

Aradia said nothing, just smirking. She waggled her finger teasingly, floating above the ground and slowly lowering her hand just like a mean child about to do something awful to an anthill. And as she lowered her hand, everyone had a sobering thought mingled with sudden horror; they were the ant.

Aradia let them hold that thought, savoring the tension rising up below her. She let it build, and build, just like a balloon floating up.

Yes. That’s it. ...Here I come.

Once again, her finger waved above the city, and then she thrust it down the vast hoof-like nail extending from it as broad across as the entire city. There should have been a vast dust cloud as her hand struck, sinking down and into the earth, and nothing could have withstood the impact of something so massive and so strong.

Below her, everything was complete chaos; cars ran desperately, people fled in terror, many people built up pillow forts in their fear and hid beneath the blankets, and the finger deliberately lowered, into the city, down to her knuckle-

By this point, miles of pitch-dark flesh moving through buildings and people without so much as disturbing a mote of dust. She was phasing through the concrete and steel and plastic compounds, and all the living things within, seemingly as immaterial as the air.

Over the course of a few minutes, people slowed. They stopped running, came to a stop and looked at once another with mounting expressions of embarrassment, mortification and even glowering anger. Cars stopped, people climbing out and poking at her hand and staring when they just moved through it. Even some bugs did that very thing, flying about and trying to avoid the teasing wall.

“GOTCHA!” Aradia boomed, drawing her hand back. In an instant, she moved away from the city, floating back, back, going high up into the air. She giggled again, far away that they could make her out. A broad burgandyblood troll woman floating up, her belly heavy and helping to support breasts massive even for notoriously buxom trolls, her hips wider even than her shoulders and her backside projecting out like a very impressive shelf. Thick seemed a poor word to describe her.

She grinned again, making finger guns at the city. “I got you good,” she said, winking to show no harm meant, and she flew away into the Earth, to find another city to mess with.

This time, she was gonna pretend to boob slam them. And then maybe the next one, she’d pretend she was going to swallow the whole city whole!

She giggled, just thinking about it. Distantly, Aradia’s friends watched her through divine perceptions, and there was a gloomy scowl from Karkat Vantas, the Red God of Bonds and Friendship. “Do you think we should… I don’t know, get her to quit that?”

Terezi Pyrope, the true goddess in charge of the new cosmology, Teal Goddess of Justice and Motherhood (as her extremely gravid frame made very clear), placed a claw to her lips. She grinned fiendishly. “I say we join her!”

“Yeah, okay, good ol’ mortal freak out. I’ll get the googly eye masks.”

“Sweet! ...Those are scary, right?”

“Fuck if I know, probably.”

“Sweet.”