#which makes sense she's my guy

[violant-apologia]

An Appointment at the Parlour of Virtue

aka marian's homoerotic antagonistic extravaganza

words: ~1k

it's on ao3 or literally right here!

Marian stalks the Veilgarden streets, shifting in discomfort. She chafes against the aroma of spices, bristles at the discordant music and scowls at passing lovers. This is far from her usual haunt, as any onlooker would be well aware. It would perhaps undermine her authority were her crew to find her here: a captain so severe in this den of intemperance. Luckily, after so many recent brushes with watery demise, they’ll all have better things to do than tail their captain to this meeting.

The Parlour of Virtue is a large building for Veilgarden, where buildings often run squat or narrow. Its services are desired enough – and its clientele rich enough – to finance the grand facade. Speaking of the clientele, they look almost as out of place in Veilgarden as Marian. They loiter around the entrance, checking watches and tapping feet and clad in classy suits and frocks. Some have faces Marian remembers from the margins of Slowcake’s; the rest are masked. The Parlour caters to tastes expensive and eclectic – those wealthy enough to afford its premium services are also those least likely to want Doubt Street catching wind. Marian is not notable enough to go masked; besides, her face is already obscured with ragged bandages. The expressions on the unmasked faces as she skips the queue are ones of jealously, not recognition.

The inside of the Parlour is comfortably warm. More masked clients mill around the lobby or whisper to receptionists at polished wood desks. Marian is nodded through by stockinged women she recognises but couldn’t name. She climbs scarlet-carpeted stairs to the gallery of suites, doors numbered and, for the most part, occupied. As she follows the usual route, her attention drifts to the sounds behind the doors. Many are the typical affair for such an establishment, but as she traverses deeper into the building, the noises get odder. Recorded music and staccato tap-dance. A screaming argument. Chewing. The Parlour caters to all tastes.

Eventually Marian reaches the customary room and lets herself in. She takes a seat on the luxurious bed (shared by most rooms) and observes the neatly-folded pile of silks that lays on it (not shared by most rooms). Sinning Jenny is late. She is often late. But she always comes.

“You’re late,” Marian says as the door opens at almost ten minutes past the hour. “Again.”

“And I apologise again,” replies Jenny. Her cheeks are a little red and her breaths come heavily, fluttering the veil that hangs before her eyes. “I’m not as spry as I used to be. You’ll have to teach me your methods sometime.”

“Here’s an easy one: don’t work yourself to the bone on a hundred lost causes,” Marian replies.

“Ah, so you’d rather I didn’t make it here at all,” Jenny grins.

“Shut up,” Marian retorts, “and sit down. Lets get this over with.”

Jenny laughs (infuriatingly) and takes a seat on the bed next to Marian. She takes the silk bandages in her hands – seafoam blues, this time.

“Lovely colours,” she mutters to herself, “must remember to mention that to Ruth…” She lets the silks flow onto her lap. “Shall we get started?”

Wordlessly, Marian hold out her arm.

The process is painfully slow, and Jenny agonisingly gentle. She takes the right arm first – the one with skin beneath. She unwinds the ragged bandages like an expert. Marian doesn’t know whether Jenny has other tomb-colonist clients; nor does it concern her. The pair’s relationship is one of debt and repayment, nothing more.

Jenny works in silence – soon the old bandages are gone and Marian’s pale skin is left bare. Jenny takes one of the darker silks from the pile, secures it up the forearm, and begins to wrap. As she does so, her fingers graze Marian’s skin; Marian jerks her arm away.

“Watch it,” Marian spits, breaking the silence.

Sorry, Jenny mouths. Marian bristles. Despite the decade between them, Jenny still manages to make her feel like a child. It’s insulting.

“Done,” Jenny soon says. Indeed, the arm is covered. Marian flexes her fingers beneath the bandages: not too tight, not too loose, and the colours complement her old uniform well.

“Acceptable, ma’am?” Jenny asks with a smile. A coy twinkle plays beneath her veil.

Marian rolls her eye. The eye in question is still not visible, but she hopes Jenny gets the message anyway.

“Other arm?” Jenny offers. Marian shuffles over and Jenny moves to her left side. The bandages here are significantly more damaged, poked and pierced from within. Jenny barely has to work them before they fall away in scraps, revealing the mass of brambles beneath.

“Don’t prick yourself, princess.”

“I’ll be careful,” Jenny chuckles.

The process is even slower on this arm – the bandages have to both hide the vegetation and restrict its shape to that of a more traditional arm.  In her many visits here, Marian has noticed that Jenny gets more stressed – and more likely to make mistakes – when she works in silence. It is for this reason and no other that Marian clears her throat.

“I made it to Polythreme.”

“Oh!” Jenny says. “I’m glad you’re following those leads!”

Marian scoffs. “I couldn’t fairly come back here if I didn’t keep my end of the bargain, could I?”

Jenny laughs. “I suppose not. Anyway, did you find the surgeon? Did he help?”

“Yes,” Marian says, “and no.”

Jenny’s face falls. “I’m sorry, Marian.”

“Oh piss off,” Marian responds, “you don’t care a jot. You just want me out of your hair.”

“I’ll remind you that there’s no actual obligation for me to make these meetings.” Jenny pulls a bandage tight around the vine.

“You want me off your conscience, then.”

Jenny sighs. “I’m also not responsible for the Campaign. Is it so difficult to imagine that I just want the best for you?”

“Yes,” Marian responds. “You’ve made a whole business profiting off of devotion. Forgive me for guarding mine.”

“Do you mean the Parlour or the Church?” Jenny asks. “It doesn’t matter, you’re wrong either way.”

She fastens the final bandage and trails a finger over her work. Marian shivers. “It’s been fifteen years, Cook. Why do you think we do this?”

Jenny’s fingers drift to the final set of bandages. She takes the end of one  at the base of Marian’s neck.

“Guilt,” Marian mutters. “The Church did this to me.”

“I’m not the Church,” Jenny murmurs, beginning to unwrap. Her breath tickles the slivers of newly-exposed skin. “War’s over, soldier,” she breathes. “You’re safe now.”

“I—”

A rose petal flutters onto the sheets.

Marian jumps up, snatching the last silks from Jenny’s lap.

“I think it’s best if I do the last myself,” she stammers. “I’m more practised, and all, and you’re obviously not focused on quality.”

“Oh,” says Jenny, “perhaps I was wrong. We can return to a purely professional relationship, if you’d like?”

“I— no, I’d—” Marian struggles, “Aurgh!”

She storms out of the room. Light, infuriating laughter rings out behind her as she stamps down the hall. Then Jenny calls out.

“See you next month!”

[petr1kov]

here's the scene i've mentioned before where nemesis and melinoë talk about hypnos, for those who wanted to see it!

[doctorsiren]

he’s mad she ratted him out

[lunarharp]

shirahama-sensei reminded me she has a thing for the teacher from pokemon s/v so i randomly went off on an au where qifrey is the professor. etc

[mazojo]

Anyways XO Kitty love interests summarized

Dae

Min Ho

Yuri

[ganondoodle]

kind of expected that the ability breakdown wouldnt get that much traction (especially on twitter bc if it doesnt do well in the first few hours it might as well be dead) but what i didnt need to wake up to was looking at my twitter notifications and thinking there was a long comment on it at first but then i read it and it turned out to be some guy having dug up one of my old totk tweets where i talked about how zelda was treated-

and if a quote retweet with a thread attached already starts with "this entitled brat didnt understand that zelda was being a history nerd by being in the past and getting to experience it herself" with two screenshots attached of the end of totk with zelda staring at the cam all uwu (which has ??? to do with their point??) i dont even want to know what else was in that thread

if thats how the majority of the fandom is then im even less surprised that nintendy doesnt even have to try to write anything good :I

ah yes, i am a game nerd, and by putting me in a game where i stand around doing puppy dog eyes while being shoved around by NPCs is me being a game nerd OBVIOSULY

[moe-broey]

Close ups on the pocket details!!! I'm SUPER happy w how the top pockets look 😳😳😳

I think the variety of pride pins with the moral panic button/Mr Faggot beadwork just. Really sells it. Shadow the Hedgehog voice Pee Your Pants. If you're going to be a shithead about me I'm going to be really annoying and do a bit about it. Plus the little golden angel pin... ALSO really pulls the whole thing together. "God help you" Right in front of my guardian angel? Really? 😒And how could I not make mention of. The Skull. I love you The Skull. It's a button (not sewn on yet, pinned) that I filled the details in w nail polish. Oh yeah! Besides the bottle cap pins (acrylics sealed with mod podge and a prayer), the biggest addition there is the chain lining the pocket flap! I think it looks SO SLICK

The pansy was gonna go on the queer side, but then I got the boutonniere idea! And I think it looks nice! Kinda adds to the asymmetry of the floral print/plaid blocking. And... of course.... I have... my friends...... 🥺 Biggest additions here are the glow-star pentagram pin, soda tabs and the heart locket!

I don't really have many new additions to the bottom pockets. Not yet! The only thing I did was stitch one side of the handcuff chain, and rearrange the pins holding up the other side. The cuffs/scorpion was just an impulse addition before going to a concert. But I do like it! And it looks even better now! Meanwhile, that other pocket, I actually have no idea what I'll do. Sakura is just there cause she matches really well, esp w the angel pin actually!

[bacchuschucklefuck]

it just idea .......

[teddybeartoji]

o wait before i start posting any pics.. i was thinking that maybe.. you guys could help me liquify this gender some more by switching up what you call me.... DON'T GET ME WRONG I LOVE . LOVE LOVE LOVE WHEN YOU USE HE/HIM AND JUST OVERALL LIKE MORE MASC STUFF THAT'S SOOO MMMMMMMMMSO FUCKING GOOD like i don't get to feel that irl at all so it really does make me so happy but i've just been thinking abt TRYING to switch it up more yk? does this even make sense...... . hhhh anyway i might won't even like it and i'll want to just go back to hehim but i wanna try... JUST TO SWITCH IT UP.

[joinmeinjoy]

Very interesting to me that Abigail preferred Hannibal over Will, but Will had an emotional connection to her that Hannibal didn't - or at least not to the same extent.

I think maybe one day he could've found a stronger bond considering she had also killed and eaten people, but during the series she's really just a tool. Hannibal uses her to like... babytrap Will. And tbf it worked, Will didn't tell Jack what he knew when he discovered Abigail murdered that guy - if he was willing to cover for her, maybe eventually he'd cover for Hannibal too, the 3 of them too intrinsically tied for him to separate, I mean that's the trapping part. But she was just a means to an end, a relationship Hannibal nurtured for his own gain with Will....whereas Will really did view her as his daughter.

Very interesting to me...off-put by Will (especially towards the end of s1), but he had the most vested interest in her well-being out of the pair...

[moeblob]

They're soulmates in every single universe and I miss them at the most random times.

[artsfavoritehorn]

I'm sure it's cliche but you don't know how badly I want a gender bent version of an art the clown type character but not in a more feminine presenting outfit or anything altered like that, just the same nasty bitch- ya feel me????😩🥴

[brionysea]

if stranger things 5 comes out and they're like 'omg! the upside down has been a product of someone's dark and twisted mind this whole time! it's... WILL!' I'll immediately lose interest

[deoidesign]

.

[radioroxx]

ok hi tumblr. thought. while i understand that technically yes people have all the freedom to assign clover a gender + pronouns based on personal headcanons… i dont really get WHY people do it

dont get me wrong im all for a little fun and for messing around with pronouns, but… isnt it more fun to let them keep the they/them?? whats the point of taking that away?

iiii dunno. i just think its strange lol

[shannonsketches]

He said "Fuck this shit, I'm out" I'm crying. Toriyama's Vegeta was so top shelf 🤌

(From Neko Majin Z Chapter 5!)