#which makes a lot of sense so thats fun
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at the museum with my mom
#……….we did end up buying the kitty salt and pepper shakers#not even like an hour later#they’re sitting on my moms dresser now and we both like them very much so it was worth it#I also learned that cat whiskers span the width of their body and they use that to judge whether they cat fit through an opening#which makes a lot of sense so thats fun#I had a lot of fun!!! my legs hurt from all the walking but I had some really good beef kalbi. like a LOT of kalbi#my art#myart#doodles#comics#diary comic#diary#mom
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mira !!! :]
#isat#in stars and time#isat mirabelle#isat spoilers#<- due to act 3 optional content !#the img might be being chewed due to weird canvas size oops ah well#one of these miras is not like the other#one of these miras doesnt belong ASFASFSDAFA#a majority of these are based on things mentioned / that happen in the house cuz i thought itd be fun to draw :D#so like the wilting plant is from gardening room dialogue#the poster with ppl holding hands and sparkly eyes is (i think??) from some SAPSAPSAAP dialogue in one of the first rooms#i tried looking around ISAT to see if it's also in there too but couldnt find it so uh correct me if im wrong if thats NOT an exclusive LOL#side note the 2 in the poster are some old nuz ocs isatified ASDFASFA#funnily enough tho they are from 2 different games if they actually ever met they would hate each others guts i think. hmm...#however both are also the most qualified to help with promotional stuff so theres that ASDFAFA#mira looking at her bonding proposals is sorta on the tin but#the fact that she has like right next to her while she sleeps in her dresser makes me :(#cuz to me it potrays how much theyve been weighing over her cuz of how close shes been keeping them with her vs putting them on a bookshelf#or something idk if that makes sense i dont have proper words atm#but uhhh moving on chalkboard is from one of the optional events#which i think is! important!!! i dont think ive seen many ppl talk about it but!! yeah!#however i too do not have words on it atm but!!! yeah!!!! moving on for now!#the 'mira' that is really just the change god is ofc from the change god event :]#aaand ofc the iconic finish from mira towards the king#and then some misc miras with swords for funsies tbh ASFAFA#but yeah! i like mira a lot actually but as with many things i do not currently have many words to properly articulate *why*#all i know in my heart of hearts is that she is near and dear and special to me personally#one day. one day i will be able to gather my thoughts in a cohesive manner but that day. is not today!#anyway tag talk over :]
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okay fuck it actually heres a drawing from the other day
#probably all ill post maybe idk im not sure tbh…….#scribbles#klonoa#popka#uhh nothing much to say abt this tbh thats why im posting it XD so uh heres some rambling ig#i feel like ive been drawing a lot more oc stuff lately which is cool ig cuz i barely ever draw original stuff#but at the same time it Sucks cuz like. idk theyre some newer ocs i kinda feel weird abt sharing for some reason#like idk i feel like theyre lame 😔 plus im still figuring out a lot of stuff for them so idk maybe thats part of it#uhhh also uh i feel like ive been getting like? actually really fucking good st art ? and like i feel like this every#few months (which is a good thing it means im improving / enjoying how my art looks) but like.. idk it judt feels more legit this time like#idk idk it doesnt really make sense but im having fun with art and thats good#i drew like. seven full drawings yeaterday for artfight im still like . stunned by how i managed to pull that off without having#drawings i ended up hating . like even with some that were an absolute pain in the ass to draw they turned out so cooollllll#okay ill stop rambling now idk what im trying to say
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A DRINK WITH DESTINY ──
botw/totk modern au | rated T major characters: zelda, link summary: for galentine's, zelda and her friends decide to check out hyrule's newest bar, the lost woods. word count: 1695 warnings: alcohol mentions/use
a/n: happy (late) loftwing letters @angelicgarnet! you said you like botw/totk zelink and modern au's so have this modern meet-cute story :) i hope you like it!
read it below the cut or on ao3 → here
It’s five o’clock. The Lost Woods has just opened, and it’s only a matter of time before a crowd makes its appearance. Link’s spent the last hour preparing for it: stocking the bar with an array of cheap liquor and top-shelf alike, cutting garnishes, filling the bin with ice. The Galentine’s event tonight had been his clever idea—a way of bringing in and establishing patrons for Hyrule’s newest bar.
“Go ahead,” he calls out to the band in the corner, tucked away on a small wooden stage. The head of the band, a tall woman with a dark brown bob, nods her head and readies her violin. Light, traditional Hyrulean folk music fills the silence hanging in the bar, just as the crowd begins to slowly trickle inside.
“I’ll have a Champion.” A Gerudo woman with long, red hair sits at the bar mere moments later, handing him her card between two fingers. “And a Zora’s Scale for my friend.” Her head tilts in the direction of the shorter redhead who takes up the barstool beside her. Link nods, mindlessly pulling the Champion into a tall glass, slowly falling into the motion of making drinks. “And another friend will be joining us soon. Put her on my tab when she comes in.”
“Sure,” he says easily. “What does this friend look like?”
“You can’t miss her,” the Gerudo says with a knowing smile and a wink. She takes a sip of her Champion, then nudges the Zora beside her to do the same. Link shrugs, turning away to take the order of another woman.
Eventually, a steady stream of patrons occupy the bar, groups of young women eager to celebrate their friendships and drink on a good deal. The music becomes a background to the loud chatter taking place, and at some point, the Gerudo and Zora leave their barstools with their drinks in hand, mingling with a few others they must know. He turns his attention to his work, focusing solely on getting his drinks just right.
Some time later a voice cuts through the bar. It’s soft and sweet, clear as day to him despite the noise. His attention is shattered at the sound of it. He looks up, distracted.
“Sorry I’m late!” The voice says hurriedly to the Gerudo from earlier, holding a soft blue purse close to her body. She pulls the gold chainlink strap up onto her shoulder with one hand, then runs the same hand through her blonde hair in an attempt to smooth it down into place. From far away, Link can’t hear the rest of the exchange, but he sees the Gerudo wave the apology away. She says something to the woman, then points her towards the bar. Towards him.
The Gerudo was right; he couldn’t miss this woman.
Link has bartended for years—mostly on the side, only recently full-time. He’s flirted, exchanged phone numbers, the whole nine yards. But she… She is like something out of a fairytale. Her golden hair lays in silky straight strands, bangs clipped out of her face with blue butterfly clips. Her eyes are big and beautiful, green like emeralds and accentuated by dark brown cat-eye liner. The pink gloss on her lips seems to glow, reflecting the dim light around them. She is the first woman to make him feel truly nervous.
“Hi,” her soft voice says. She stands on her tiptoes, leaning over the dark mahogany bar to speak to him. It’s unnecessary. Even with all the noise, his attention is focused solely on her. Listening.
“What can I get for you?” He says, trying to look casual as he pours another cocktail through a strainer. He sits the glass on the bar in one quick, fluid motion towards its recipient.
“Oh. Um.” Her green eyes trail from the drink and over to settle on the framed specials sheet sitting atop the bar. They scan the sheet slowly, taking in every detail. Finally, she frowns. “I’m sorry. I don’t really drink…”
“That’s okay,” he says quickly, sounding maybe a bit overenthusiastic. “Do you want something sweet or dry?”
She chews her lip. “Maybe somewhere in the middle? Probably more sweet I think. But not too sweet.”
He nods. Normally when women don’t know what to order, he makes them a classic. A Castletonian, or a simple Zoran’s with cranberry. It’s hard to go wrong with either of those, and if they don’t like it, well… then he has a better idea of what to make for them next time. Yet, for her—for this goddess standing before him—something else comes to mind entirely.
He takes a step away from the bar, conjuring the supplies up quickly from the shelf behind him. Her eyes follow intently all the while, taking in each and every motion he makes. For good measure (and maybe because he likes the feel of her eyes on him), he shoves the sleeves to his blue shirt up over his elbows before he continues. The Master Sword tattoo on his right forearm is fully visible now. She seems to smile at the sight of it.
“How long have you guys been open?” she asks. He’s grateful for her attempt to fill the heavy silence hanging between them.
“Just a couple of weeks.”
“Cool…” Her eyes fall away from him now, taking in the scenery around them. They focus on the plants filling every corner, fake vines crawling up the few faux stone ruins around the room. Finally, they land on the band playing in the corner. “I like it. The theme is really cool.”
“Thanks,” he says, sincerely. Then he shrugs. “I’ve been interested in Ancient Hyrulean stuff for a while. I thought it’d make a cool bar concept.”
Her eyes light up, snapping back to him. “Me too! Well, not the bar thing.” She rushes to explain. “That sounded negative. I don’t mean it like that—it’s a cool concept. I just… I’m actually an archeaology major at the university.”
“Really? I thought about going to school for history.”
She leans forward. “Why didn’t you?”
“I’ve always been bad in school. Trouble focusing, sleeping during class, that kind of thing. I’ve never been super disciplined, I guess.”
“I get it,” she says, but he can tell from the tone of her voice that she doesn’t. No–this woman strikes him as intelligent. She’s probably never made below an A-plus in any of her courses.
He nods without thinking and, with one final motion, garnishes her drink with a simple Silent Princess. It floats lightly on top of the light blue liquid, edible gold glitter shining with every swirl of the martini glass.
“What’s it called?” She wonders aloud as she takes the glass from his hands, peering inside.
“The Princess.”
Her eyes widen. Her mouth opens, then closes. A dark red flush crawls up her skin.
“Oh,” she says quietly. Then, as if realizing what he’s done, her eyes narrow. She eyes the glass suspiciously. “And do you make The Princess for every fair lady who enters your establishment, sir?” Her faux-royalty accent makes him smile.
“Only for you. It seems fitting.”
Despite the dim lighting, her cheeks burn fiercer. She smiles.
“Oh. Then thank you.”
“What’s your name?” he asks finally. It’s his turn to lean against the bar, resting his chin lazily on a hand.
“Zelda,” she says with a soft smile. He widens his eyes.
Zelda, like the ancient princesses from thousands and thousands of years ago. Either it’s a coincidence or—
“Are you teasing me?”
“No,” she laughs, “that’s really my name. What’s yours?”
“Link.” Her mouth falls open. She laughs harder. It’s a lovely sound and makes his heartbeat quicken.
“Like the hero?”
“The very same, actually. My dad was really into military history. Wars and stuff.”
“Well it’s a pleasure to meet you, Hero,” she teases, holding a hand out for him to take.
“Same for you, Princess.” Feeling bold, he pulls her hand closer. His mouth lightly brushes the back of her hand. It hovers. At the very last second, before he pulls away, his blue eyes flick up to meet hers. She dares to hold his gaze.
They break away only for her to take a sip.
“Mmm! It’s perfect!”
“Good.” He gives a lopsided grin, releasing her hand. “I’ll make as many as you wish, Princess. On one condition.”
“And what might that be?”
He points his finger up in the air, towards the rickety wooden sign hanging above the bar. Drink Responsibly. Don’t Get Lost, it says, scrawled in someone’s poor attempt at mimicking Ancient Hyrulean script.
She laughs. “Clever.”
“Thanks.”
“Zelda!” The Gerudo’s voice cuts through the bar. “Come here!”
“Sorry,” she apologizes, wincing. She hesitates to move away from him. “Thanks again.”
And like that, she’s gone.
—
He’s closing up the bar when something catches his attention. A specials sheet, removed from its frame and torn in half, sits between half-full glasses on the bar. When he peers closer, there’s text.
Thanks for everything. You were really nice tonight. I’d love to get to know you more. -Zelda
Below the text, a set of numbers is scrawled in pretty handwriting. Her phone number. Link grabs the paper quickly and wastes no time in sending her a text.
—
Her phone buzzes, just as she enters the shared apartment with Urbosa and Mipha. Warm and fuzzy, stumbling slightly from the alcohol, Zelda struggles only momentarily to pull her Slate from the pocket of her jacket. It lights up when she finally does, the notification quickly expanding on her screen.
Hey, it’s Link, the bartender. Thanks for giving me your number, I’d love to hang out some time. :)
Zelda blinks once. Twice.
“How’d he get my number?” She asks no one in particular. Had she given it to him? Did she forget? It’s possible, she muses. The Princess had been stronger than it’d tasted.
“Sorry, Zel.” Mipha is the first to crack, her voice soft and nervous. “But you should have seen the way you two looked at each other.”
“And, Princess,” Urbosa gently mocks, a wide, mischievous smile spreading across her face. “He’s handsome.”
Zelda can’t say she’s angry.
#disclaimer im zelda and i dont drink very much so if some of this doesnt make sense just smile and nod and pretend#however ive been picking up part time shifts at a restaurant/bar recently and ive learned a lot !!#hyylia lore#thats what inspired me to write this tbh link would make a bangin bartender#i wanted to include more but alas word limit#if this is received well i might add to it and flesh it out more!! i was already worldbuilding for just this little drabble which is so fun#y but thats how it goes isnt it lololol#also ok i know in botw/totk its technically hyrule/korok forest but like the lost woods is such a good idea for a bar i couldnt help myself#loftwing letters#loftwing letters 2024#zelink community#zelink#botw#totk#my writing
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man i wanna ramble about my fic to someone so much
into the tags i go
#minhmy rambles#I SAY THIS BC..... there are so many things im planning and writing and im always constantly second guessing myself and i am too much of#a coward to actually say something in the discord like asking for feedback or anything and god forbid i ask for it in the a/n of the fic#and like i have my best friend who loves the fic and i have them proofread it but they hadn't rly known the game much outside of Me#and they're currently going thru the game and its a fun fun fun time but also#bc theyre my best friend and supports me no matter what im like. but what if. the way i write is so ooc and you don't know it#even if ur going thru the game rn and still saying its in character and not ooc at all what if ur just biased to me and my fic and#see im a huge overthinker i am so anxious and insecure about everything and thats why loop and sif are like that in my fic which is why#its OOC...... ITS NOT!!!!! ITS NOT ACCURATE THERES NO WAY........#anyways . i love my friend very much but i would also love to have more ppl to talk about my fic with but also. i never shut up#and if i do its bc im overthinking interactions#so like if anyone. wants to talk to me about my fic 👉👈 pls hmu im probably never gonna make another post like this ever again#the horrifying ordeal of being known#it strikes again#if you also want to talk about isat too thats fine i like talking about isat a whole lot#i might even give spoilers for my fic or i might not#might just ask a bunch of questions like “does this make sense does this make sense does this make sense”#ANYWAYS. .. y'kno. yeha#aoyany fic talk
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like i wouldnt mind like. Not having new linear games post 5 its judt that sims 4 wasnt even supposed to Be The Sims 4 it was a last minute pivot and the base code is so outdated and was broken On launch so like. i just wish we could have the final actual sims game be like. one that was always intented to be a major sims release AND be intended to be so long term . yk
#i dont even want like. Ooh major graphical updates whatever if sims 5 was announced and they looked photorealizstic id hurl i wouldnt play#it#my ideal would ig be sims 4 with a touch more realism style wise. if this makes sense#like its a bittt too cartoony for me but i like the like. Clay hair or whatever SJFNFJ. and i think having it be simple in basegame means#you can customize it easier + itd run better on more pcs#so im fine eith that. i would nottt want it more cartoony#i also like. I understand the sims is like. an all ages game i do sometimes wish that the animations in 4 were a bit toned down#like i dont mind silly goofy wacky stuff i think its fun and like. The sims has always been a bit sillay yk. but the overexaggerated#animations r sometimes like -_-.... to me. but thats personal preference#IDK. the tags that show up when i type idk r so funny. do i ever know anything. sources say no#BUT ya i just rly wish like. if this is what they wanna do i wish theyd give us One more full game give it lots of time and love and rly rly#focus on having it excel at like. being this partnof the sims#since they wanna have like. Other sims games that have online features and multiplayer and everything. they could use that to make sure that#ts5 was Rly solid as a foundation and as like. ykwim..... they could plan updates for the future And dlc or whatever and i just think itd be#a better move than trying to make sims 4 happen#bc i judt dont think With all the updates in the world. sims 4 wont ever be like. what it couldve been. yk. i just dont think you can make#it work without Fullllyyyy just starting over.#and at this point with like..so many modders and stuff and everything and how much dlc there is thatd be impossible Esp if they keep#releasing new stuff which. They will ^_^#idk. im excited for some other lifesim games im keeping my eye out#but i rly do love the sims and i just wish that it could be as good as it could be. It has such a huge budget and team and like. if ea would#stop just trying to make as much money as possible off it i feel like they could make Such an amazing game. not to put down indie gamedevs#at all the games jve been looking at look Incredible like.. yk. but the fact those games are so good eith FAR smaller teams and budgets is#like. imagine what we could have if the sims had that amt of care and time put into it.#but whatever whatever whatever. sorry im just rambling#again ik what i would want from my platonic ideal of a sims game isnt what everyone would eant#but idk. i feel like another good step might be like. making the other sims games more available and updating them so they run better on#modern pcs. but i dont think thatll ever happen DNDNFJFNFN.
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super obsessed with your art, seb looks soooooooooooo stunning!!! I am now very curious however, only if you feel like going into it, as to which other historical figures you align with which drivers?👀👀
AAAAAA tysm Grace!!!! Though I am so so so sorry for how rambly and long this post is gonna be, but you just asked me abt one of my brainrots!! I will answer your question but also talk about my history alignments and AUs in general LOL
But if I'm making comparisons of F1 drivers and historical figures, my brain kinda forces me to make it an AU because I'm like "this needs to make absolute sense historically and contextually.)
So, tbh of the four historical AUs that float around my brain, only two of them are really specifically about certain historical figures. The four are: Nandopoleon(About how Fernando reminds me of Napoleon), War of Spanish Succession(mostly about that era, but Seb and Nando are supposed to be paralleling Charles VI and Philip V), Napoleonic Hussars(which is about how , in general, Hussars = F1 drivers), and Rennaissance Muse(this just happens to take place in a different era.)
Explaining my AUs and the historical contexts(proceed with caution, its a lot)
Nandopoleon:
Okay so I'm really really am so deranged about Napoleon = Fernando, but I’ve not posted about it too much because I wanna make a well thought out post about it. But basically I think they’re similar people with similar characteristics and motivations. There was this period of time over the summer where I was only brain rotting about how well any of Napoleon’s quotes fit Fernando(with my fellow nandopoleon confidant @/sweatyflytrap haha.) Here’s some quotes as example:
“Victory belongs to the most persevering.”
“It is not necessary to bury the truth. It is sufficient merely to delay it until no one cares.”(Piasco era lol)
“Victory is not always winning the battle…but rising every time you fall.”
“From triumph to failure is only one step.”
"A soldier will fight long and hard for a bit of colored ribbon."(trophies y'know)
"Always carry champagne! In victory you deserve it, and in defeat you need it!"
Tell me Fernando wouldn't use these as instagram captions! TELL ME!!! But the other thing that was driving me crazy is how well excerpts from the personality/image section of Napoleone's wiki line up with testimonials from Fernando's doc. Examples:
"He cheated at cards, but repaid the losses; he had to win at everything he attempted."(Napoleon) "Whatever activity I take part in, I have this compulsion to find the compeititon in it."(Fernando)
"He could rapidly dictate a series of complex commands to his subordinates, keeping in mind where major units were expected to be at each future point, and like a chess master, 'seeing' the best plays moves ahead"(Napoleon) "When you talk to him, his mental capacity is so strong. He's talking to you, but his brain is thinking ahead"(Fernando)
Like c'mon tell me they aren't at least a bit similar??? There's a lot else I find similar about them but I cannot list my whole manifesto here skdjlsd
Anyways this AU would be Fernando as Napoleon and would be Webbonso -> Strollonso. Basically, Napoleon had two wives: his first wife, who was older than him and who he was super in love with, but had to divorce because they couldn't have kids, but he still loved her deeply. And then his second wife , who was much younger thanhim and from the Austrian royal family, and this was a politically motivated marriage but they still got on pretty well!!(also it's funny, before she married him she didn't want to be with him because the public perception of him made him out to be not the best guy, but then she wrote to her father about how loving and kind he was. very Strollonso, no?)
War of Spanish Succession:
Mostly explained it here and here. I'm not too interested in either Philip V nor Charles VI themselevs as individuals, but rather the roles they fufill in the "story." Though I will say, I got hit with a brick while reading Charles VI's wiki when finding out that he apparently had several male lovers! So I guess my AU having an arranged m/m marriage isn't even that far off the mark hahaha. Why did they have a 13 year war, they should have just arranged a marriage between the two canidates sigh sigh. But yeah, mostly Austria vs. Spain, I think it fits well with the Vettonso rivalry!! They would end up being: Fernando I King of Spain and Sebastian I Holy Roman Emperor hehe. Also I sketched some more:
Napoleonic Hussars:
Explained here as well as with art, and more art here. I'm really still proud of the points I made, I just feel very ardently about it!!! Not about any specific figure, but rather a historical group that I think lines up extremely well with F1 drivers. But this one is fun cause I can kinda insert any driver into it and they'll work pretty well. It's fun to figure out what kingdom what driver would be, either based off their nationality or the nationality of their team. I remember vividly staring at a map from this era trying to figure out where Maranello would be....But like Renault = Kingdom of France and RBR = Kingdom of Austria, and stuff like that
Rennaisance Muse:
Mostly just this post, I've not thought about this one incredibly deeply. Mostly just brainrot about how I think Seb looks like The David with his curly hair
#catie answer an ask without making it a soliloquy challenge: failed#hope this is at least sort of interesting to people other than me!#basically: I like reading about F1. I like reading about history. why not mix them :DDD#also sorry Grace that this ended up being more about my AUs rather than which historical figures align with who#if im gonna compare a driver to a figure then my brain is like 'this needs to make absolute sense historically' so it becomes its own AU#though i think fernando is a much easier driver than any others to make historical comparisons about#and thats really only bcs hes very specific with how he portrays himself and how the public eye is supposed to view him#hes much more of a 'character' and is easier to compare bcs historical figures also end up becoming chararictured bcs of the passage of tim#having a lot of fun with this most recent one!!! the idea of arranged marriage vettonso(with boy king seb) is brainrotting me#all of these have ships as well that theyre kinda focused around#hussars is the most general but Ive already drawn martian for it sooooo#and the rennaisance is also martian#nandopoleon I already said what it would be(god the irl age gaps align so well to each other)#and then obv spanish succession is vettonso arranged marriage#anyways aaaahhhhh fun side projects which I like to research and draw!!!#and ik ive said it a lot but thank you guys for showing interest!! its pretty niche i think....#catie.asks.#catie.rambling.txt#boy king au#hussar au#nandopoleon alonsoparte
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i do think the most interesting interpretation of btvs lore is that non-vampire demons and mystical entities ALL have souls, unless they sold, destroyed or otherwise got rid of them (like the mayor)
#because first of all: it gives a potential explanation for why there is a VAMPIRE slayer who specializes in vamps and not just a ''slayer''#like why vampires are singled out in particular. if its because they are in some inherent way crueler more evil less human less worthy#than at least the average demon altho not the most terrible demons. and that kind of checks!! plenty of demons seem to be fairly chill#amoral maybe and have weird diets but not necessarily Big Bads. whereas all vampires by definition drain humans of blood for fun and profit#second: it explains a lot about anya in particular - i'm thinking of two things in s7 when she's a-venging again#1. when she sees spike's soul in his eyes and is Shocked. not the face of a woman who has never seen a soul in the eyes of a demon before#2. no one is like ''oh anya has a soul!!! you cant slay her'' or ''how can you be a demon again when you have a soul wahhh''#i bet everyone just knows she has a soul. she's had a soul the whole time. everyone knows that. everyone's been knowing that.#third: it explains Why Angel And Spike Are Such Frickin Big Deals lmaoooo#the whole ''vampire with a soul'' thing isnt understood by buffy in s1 - angel tells her about it and she's like okay sure. try harder#the concept of ''souls'' being ''something'' that one ''has'' is like so ... it ONLY MAKES SENSE if vampires are KNOWN to NOT HAVE SOULS!!!#like imagine youre a demon or w/e and some master vamp comes along and youre like ''oh shit'' and he's like nah man ... ive got my Soul#and youre like ''oh SHIT. i didnt know you could do that''#vaguely related point: i think something people in fandom have always struggled with (''struggled with'' is the nice way of phrasing)#is the idea that in buffy's mind vampire with soul = good / vampire without soul = bad ALWAYS NO EXCEPTIONS#and like. theres so much nuance there. nuance number one being that buffy anne summers is the Queen Of Black And White Thinking#and we gotta take what she says with a grain of salt. nuance number two being obviously bad people can do good things and vice versa#nuance number three is that she's kinda right? if you have no true moral compass AND no true empathy AND delight in causing pain You're Bad#anyway i think this take ^^^^ about demons having souls and the people of btvs being aware of this lends EVEN MORE NUANCE!!!#because people in fandom love being like ..... buffy would kill anything without a soul. and protect anything with a soul. which tbh#i think is a deliberate misunderstanding of the source material. buffy would kill anything that harms humans and will protect#anyone that is human. thats her fucking job lmaoooooooooooooo its her calling in life. get bent#i'm ending the tag spiral here <3#it's terribly simple
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...
#aaaand thats a 3rd doctor. a psychiatrist. who listened to me ans thought: mm sounds like bip0lar lol#me: wow its so easy to get diagnosed as bip0lar. thats bc u r exhibiting lots of depression and a limit amount of mood elevation. that's#like. thats what bip0lar is. she was like yea ppl with bip0lar 2 spend like 75% of time being depressed and a lil elevated mood... which#sounds like what u r describing. me:#...yeah. but again its complicated by the 0cd and spectrum issues. but she independently brought up 4dhd. just when i was like no its all#0cd. here we r again. stuck back in the messy overlap. but whatever i got proscribed bip0lar medicine. lam1ctal. we'll see#bc everyone i talk to is like. we need to control the mood 1st. like so u dont die. and im like hm yeah good call lol#she seems super cool tho. like i would love to just talk to her. ugh. she wants to get a handle on the mood and then maybe add a stimulant#bc shes had it happen in thr past where someone comes in with debiltating 0cd and got treated with lam1ctol and a stimulant and the#obsessive rumination stopped. so well see. idk if ill actually qualify as 4dhd enough. well see. fingers crossed#my mood is a lil elevated rn so its all fun. well see if we tip off a cliff bc im getting less sleep and go go going#unrelated#ugh im scared to start the medine tho bc the ssri i got proscribed fucked me up so much. which is also an indicator of bip0lar#god dammit. if this works im gonna have to actually accept the idea of being bip0lar. i mean. it makes sense being on that spectrum#is just sounds insane and i was not expecting it despite my fucking obsession with understanding wtf my deal is#idk. whatever. doesnt matter
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i know やった is not considered to be part of the onomatopoeic/mimetic word family but it almost feels like it could be
#mine#it's so strong! something about the combination of A sounds#and the way the pause in the middle makes the ta feel more charged and excited like firing off a cannon#great word for when things go right. one of my new favorites for sure#speaking of japanese im thinking sooner or later im going to try pmd explorers of sky in japanese...#i figured thats the best place to start because i know the explorers games back to front and could play them with my eyes closed#so ill be able to really immerse in and learn new stuff (hopefully)#plus i imagine the combat portion will have a lot of repetitive vocab like Pokemon was paralyzed!#Pokemon is scared and ran away! etc so the repeat exposure will help a lot#i fired it up for just a sec to check if it worked and it does indeed because the title screen had kanji with furigana#and then the ingame menu was all hiragana which i guess makes sense cause kids game#i hope i can read it lol i've been working on my kanji for some months now and once you get used to them you really get used to them...#but i'm sure it'll be a fun time
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been looking in tags for a few days now to see if anyone else found the whole high cloud quintet and related story to be a bit.....poorly written, nonsensical, contradictory, full of plot holes and loose ends, etc. apparently i'm not the only one. (and i'm not even talking about shipping stuff, because any time I saw someone mad about bad writing, someone always replies to be homophobic and laugh about failed ships. weirdos.) it could have been so good but was thrown into the garbage for the most part (IF you noticed all the plot holes and contradiction. if not, then it's a fine enough story tbh. I expect most people to see it on surface level and not read all the little hidden lore bits and try to piece it together like my autistic brain did. which is ok! enjoy it if you liked it and ignore me 😆)
#apparently one of the writers did it on purpose. wont explain here. you can find it elsewhere. but it makes sense now#that's why it fell apart and didnt make sense in the end#ive seem people say anyone mad about it is a shipper and thats why. they use it as an excuse to be homophobes#youre gross get out of thos fandom. im here as someone upset about the story who was very skeptical about any ship theories and focused#more on plot theories and overall friendship and stuff so its not even about shipping you het weirdos!!!#the contradictions and plot holes are bd regrdless of who you ship lmao stop reducing it to that#aure its fine if you ignlre those plot holes. but it happened to be the little plot holes that interested me the most so its obvious to me😅#cant wait until a talented writer in the fandom rewrites the whole story a lot better and fills in the holes and ties up the end better#please someone do this 😭#lee text#hsr#i just wanted a close found family who met a tragic end#my idea for a better way to write it is dan feng wanted free from the high elder cycle and yingxing helped him create a new elder#but it went wrong and failed because the preceptors fed him wrong info hopong it woukd destroy dan feng since they hated him#instead it was yingxing that died and dan feng selfishly brought him back somehow and thats why hes immortal and hates dan heng now#they created a monster in the process that made a mess and baiheng died trying to kill it maybe but hit its weak spot#so it was weaked enough for jingliu to slay it#maybe for a plot twist jing yuan somehow knew the preceptors were up to something and didnt stop the two because#they were too stubborn and he knew it would do nothing#we know the dragon heart disappeared so either it ended becoming bailu in the end#or it could be inaide blade bow. another fun possible plot twist. they never explained where it went so it coukd be a n y w h e r e#i had other ideas but i forget now. bht baiheng deserves better as well. just being a plot mechanism to make two dudes be stupid#is kinda bland and boring and wasted her character. she deserves better too!!!!#id write this if i had the time and brain power but ill hope someone else does it instead#OH yeah i forgot a big idea. dan feng and yingxing perhaps try to also kill the arbor and end the abundance and long life/reincarnation#and maybe that was one part that led to it all going wrong or something. since yingxing wanted revenge on the abundance for destroying#his home and family???? and dan feng wanted to escape the cycle? similar wants that worked together snd failed#these are all ideas from past theories i read and my own ideas i came up with all of which are better than what that bad writer did!#these are very incomplete ideas that im sure someone else can write better#lee rambles
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old man yells at cloud about constant sequels
#i wantttttt to like the beetlejuice sequel (just saw the trailer) and i don't want to be a hater. however#i dont knowwwww i mean theres a lot of callbacks to the original. which is good. its just#maybe its seeing some of these same effects done in cgi. or something#like it just looks like every other modern movie except w some of that beetlejuice imagery#im assuming the sandworms are cgi. bring back the claymationnnn bring back practical effectssss#idk im just really getting to hate the way movies nowadays look that are likely shot digitally and are just so subdued color wise#is any of this making sense.#like thinking of the original beetlejuice like whoa the colors were popping! greens reds purples!#and theyre so important and tied to the look of the movie and how it sticks in your mind#(im sorry. beetlejuice has always been one of my favorite movies. but anyway)#and now the sequel just looks ehhhh. you know#also we still should have had beetlejuice goes hawaiian instead. if we had to have a sequel#plus the story of the sequel seems so dependent on the story of the first movie like is there going to be anything original?#what made the first movie so good was not only was it a fun different storyline of these ghosts and everything#but it was also a good satire of the yuppies of that era as well as the idea of the afterlife and ghosts and all that. which was different!#im probably not making all of my points clearly and this doesnt really matter anyway but anyway#i need movies to be standalone movies. i dont want everything to be part of a series#i dont want beetlejuice to be called beetlejuice 1#bc then ill be saying 'back in my day we had only one beetlejuice'#LIKE. yes some movies are really good and you could watch a whole tv show more with the characters in that movie#but it doesnt actually have to be made. thats for you to imagine in your mind#like wow i love those characters in beetlejuice. i wonder what it would be like going forward for these people to live with ghosts#but thats for you and your imagination!!!! ugh i dont know is any of this making sense i ask again. i keep trying to wrap up this post#but im very passionate about films and as i think about my own main movie idea/screenplay#i love my characters and i could put them in dozens of scenarios that would be very funny for them to deal with#but i dont think they need a five film series. the one movie is enough for the main storyline#ok im going to eat something. enough bitching from me about the current state of film
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i am being silly.......cause why am i getting visions for lover boy chapters being "colour coded"
#LIKE IN A VERY ABSTRACT THEMATIC WAY THAT I COULD NEVER EXPLAIN#in my head find a lover the beautiful first chapter has always been red#ive had this flashback from chapter two rotating in my head that's at sunset so its very Orange#which pairs with a fictive present scene that has a very specific Orange Sunset description#so i was like woahhh chapter 2 kind of giving orange tinted....wait thats fun its like a gradient from chapter 1#and oh the word gradient set something off in me.#who knows because like what is chapter 3 going to be? yellow?? pink??#i'd say the lover boy palette is red/orange/pink. maybe some yellow for sunlight#because it is so golden hour book#i dont know if i will actually do this but it says a lot of my writing process that chapter 1 being “red” and chapter 2 being “orange”#has made the way these chapters work together make a lot more sense to me LOL
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Oh wait you mean like original posts where you were expressing your thoughts? I totally understand that.
gjdjfjejf yeah mostly those! ive had my reblog tagging system on this blog for a long time though too so sometimes ill go deep into one of my tags and see something that i tagged with period-appropriate parlance and enthusiasm or with some classically Old Me thoughts and I'll sort of just have to take a deep breath. cringe is dead but by god im still working through it
#ask#anonymous#does that make sense? like finding old diaries where you were really into ZOMG MUFFIN?! humor#and being like awh :') this is so deeply embarrassing to read now but im glad i was having fun#edit from like a week later cause im still thinking abt it like i mostly focused on like 'fond cringe' in these asks#bc thats what i was thinking abt when it comes to someone going thru a tag you've had on your blog since 2012#but also like......i used to complain about 'sjws'!! i had a lot of unexamined biases! i used to kind of suck!!#which doesnt often come thru in like fandom tags on my blog but man sometimes tumblr will show me a text post i made in 2013#and i will crumble and wither away
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one thing abt these movies is that shinya tsukamoto will sit in a body of water
#^ he is so pretty btw.#original nonsense#image described#my movie review is that.... hmm...#i think... i was not as interested as the 1st movie... but i also think i read the plot of the 3rd movie and kept thinking i had read this#one's plot so i kept expecting things to happen that didnt. so that was confusing.#the vibes were very different thats for sure. and i know it didnt like the 1st one when i watched it but i kind of had a change#of mind as i kept thinking about it so who knows...#i did REALLY like the coloured lighting it was SO pretty and swag.#definitely a strength it has over the 1st one because.... that was black n white obviously. which is also cool ::-]#i really like the music too obviously AHEE HEE i liked listening to the soundtrack before i watched this so it was fun#to be able to recognize the songs.#this one didnt have the weird homoeroticism of the 1st one which makes sense in retrospect#but i was kind of missing his freak behaviour u__u#the first one was really freaky and uncomfortable which i think is why it is so memorable.#and this one was Not as Freaky but maintained a lot of the spirit of Weird Metal Gore Body Horror Etc And Also Tomorowo#Taguchi Is There.#OKAY MY MOVIE THOUGHTS BYE
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okay saur when i get home im gonna try and fill out the insurance form since well im stuck here. once thats through and ive got insurance set up im gonna try and do a proper psych eval bc i reakized ive bever actually had one. and i think itd be very very useful
#ive been on and off in therapy since i was like. before age 7? very on and off though#and i like. i have gad and mdd dxed. i know these#but i think itd be rly helpful for me t have like. a straight up actual real life psych eval so i know what i need to be working on#bc like. mostnof the therapy ive been in is i just go in and dalk abt whatever i want to ralk abt#which isnt helpful 4 me bc i need t be like. guided. bc otherwise i dont rly get into the root of issues#most therapy ive had is just i go in i talk abt the surface level details of something imbuspet abt and the therapist says Okay heres this#worksheet do it when you get home. goodbye ! and then i dont do the worksheet#and ik a lot of that is me not being willing 2 put in the work 4 therapy as well but like. it felt like all my former therapists never#avtually dug into the actual issues. or confronted me with anything#ykwim. idk if that makes sense#idk how ill like. Get to my psych eval thats a problem for future connor. i suppose ill soon be able t save up enough money t get a ride#since ive got Veeeery strict spending rules now. im only allowed t spend likee 240 dollars a konth on fun things and everything else either#goes to rent or debt or savings. this is the rule
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