to be fair with the death thing and martin i do think that ygritte quote is so relevant:
like maybe eventually some of these characters that we feel it would be more powerful to have live do fall. and it can be during the series but not before they “live” and fulfill certain “possibilities”. like yeah death is terribly final and life is full of possibilities etc. and it will continue to be full of them until the day you fall. and every action and attempt in itself has meaning, despite even final result. that is kind of the thesis of the series and its brand of romanticism.
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realizing that sticking to the "do it bad" "do it scared" mentality implies theres also a "do it bored"
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you've heard of "quiet quitting," now I'd like to introduce you to the next level, The French Work Ethic:
Do exactly what you're paid for and nothing more
Absolutely refuse to be available to contact when you're off the clock
Never prioritize work over your own health, wellbeing, or family because that would be insane, it's just a job.
Have a little glass of wine
Take as long as you feel like for lunch
Deeply understand that work doesn't matter
Make sure your boss knows they're always your second priority ❤️
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By the way, you can improve your executive function. You can literally build it like a muscle.
Yes, even if you're neurodivergent. I don't have ADHD, but it is allegedly a thing with ADHD as well. And I am autistic, and after a bunch of nerve damage (severe enough that I was basically housebound for 6 months), I had to completely rebuild my ability to get my brain to Do Things from what felt like nearly scratch.
This is specifically from ADDitude magazine, so written specifically for ADHD (and while focused in large part on kids, also definitely includes adults and adult activities):
Here's a link on this for autism (though as an editor wow did that title need an editor lol):
Resources on this aren't great because they're mainly aimed at neurotypical therapists or parents of neurdivergent children. There's worksheets you can do that help a lot too or thought work you can do to sort of build the neuro-infrastructure for tasks.
But a lot of the stuff is just like. fun. Pulling from both the first article and my own experience:
Play games or video games where you have to make a lot of decisions. Literally go make a ton of picrews or do online dress-up dolls if you like. It helped me.
Art, especially forms of art that require patience, planning ahead, or in contrast improvisation
Listening to longform storytelling without visuals, e.g. just listening regularly to audiobooks or narrative podcasts, etc.
Meditation
Martial arts
Sports in general
Board games like chess or Catan (I actually found a big list of what board games are good for building what executive functioning skills here)
Woodworking
Cooking
If you're bad at time management play games or video games with a bunch of timers
Things can be easier. You might always have a disability around this (I certainly always will), but it can be easier. You do not have to be this stuck forever.
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ADHD at night: I could write a book. I could get my Master’s Degree. I could go to the club and come home with 12 new friends. I could get a job at that club and meet the mother of my children. I could cure every disease and use my wealth to bring world peace.
ADHD during the day: Fold laundry too hard :( Come back next week
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I'm so fucking productive. I got so much shit done today.
ⓘ Fact check: This user did the bare minimum for the first time in 3 months.
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Hey. Hey you. The person aimlessly scrolling, stuck in an immobilized standoff with your brain
It's not your fault. You won't be stuck forever. I know you're trying. I know you hate it. It's ok.
And tell the Mean Voice in your head that it's not helping. It knows as well as you do that you would get up and Just Start the task if you could. You're not doing this on purpose.
Take a deep breath. Relax your jaw. I see you trying so hard to break out of it, but you can't force it. You'll get Unstuck eventually. All you can do in the interim is be kind to yourself.
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i used to be so good at writing strong, thoroughly-researched, thoroughly-edited essays.
as a kid in hs, my teacher literally came up to me, holding my 40 page essay on the intersection of the European witch hunts and capitalism/exploitation/gender roles (it was supposed to be 7 pages...whoops) and went like "this is literally a master's-degree level thesis. what are you doing?? you could literally use this as your final dissertation in a master's program, what the fuck."
NOW??? NOW?? you'd think I'd be oh so skilled. but alas. i can barely piece together two ideas. adhd skill-regression is so so real. im SOBBING
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I do love the phrase executive dysfunction bc the image it conjures is of a bunch of people wearing business suits around a long oval conference table arguing with each other to the point where they’re getting into physical fights, but in the background there’s just a big empty whiteboard with a To Do list with one item on it and that item is “take shower”
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