#which like it’s fine like we all have different lives but you truly don’t know shit. sorry!

[dyketennant]

i’m never taking romantic advice from some motherfucker who never broke up with their first highschool sweetheart

[yuribalisms]

Essentially what it is all boiling down to is I have fully realized I am bad at being a person, that will always be true, and I don’t know how to handle that

[asexualjedi]

Was like damn there should be an ace dating app for people who are like asexual or gray romantic or gray sexual. And then I went to google that and realized that would involve sharing my information with an app and giving up personal info to people. And I’m reminded of the people I had to block and the issues I’ve had with guys™️ in the past and that makes me want to break out in hives. Like would hopefully ideally be different. But. Alas. I’ll just have to believe in rom communism.

[brokenmenswhore]

the sink | aegon ii targaryen

pairing: modern!aegon x fem!reader

summary (i am so shit at writing summaries): at a party, y/n sees aegon in a compromising position

warnings: smut (MDNI 18+), choking, drinking, rough sex, aegon is a lil mean <3

────── ☾ ──────

Parties were never really your scene. You told your best friend, Heleana, that you didn’t really want to go, but she convinced you that you were wasting your chance at university experiences by sitting in your dorm, and she was right. You wouldn’t be in university forever, and you could only truly live right now.

Her brother, Aegon, was campus-renowned for his parties. Heleana & Aegon lived in a rather large mansion off-campus, seeing no need to move onsite and leave such a lavish place, and it was close enough to drive.

You and Aegon never got along. He was arrogant, a playboy, and had no care for his studies or his sister. All he wanted to do was fuck about and drink, and he didn’t like that you gave him attitude whenever he said something particularly ghastly, but you didn’t care. You didn’t like him and you didn’t care if he knew it. You could handle your own with him, and everything he did annoyed you.

You personally hated driving to Heleana’s house. The roundabout driveway only allowed a certain number of cars, and had no definitive parking spaces. It was a free for all, as you told her the second you walked through the door.

“Oh hush, I’m just glad you came,” Heleana smiled, “come! Drinks are in the kitchen.”

Heleana’s house never failed to astound you. You had been here several times, having been close with Heleana for a few years, and still, you didn’t know which room was which. If she asked you to retrieve anything from a specific room upstairs, you’d end up lost.

You followed suit, downing a good portion of a beer the second it was handed to you.

“Eager, are we?” Heleana laughed.

“Oh come on!” you retorted, “you said it yourself, I never get out. Well, I’m out, and I’m not gonna waste it!”

Heleana sipped her beer and giggled at your enthusiasm. “Maybe you should channel that energy into, I don’t know, a boy?”

You furrowed your brows in confusion. “And why would I do that?”

“You’ve been so wound up and stressed from exams lately, I just think you could use an outlet! Sue me.”

You laughed, not responding as a method of moving on from the subject.

“Fine,” Heleana broke the silence, “but you’re dancing with me.”

“No, I-“

“You’re dancing!”

With that, Heleana pulled you into the living room, forcing you to dance with her. You didn’t mind too much, eventually having fun with the feeling of dancing and the slight buzz in your brain. After a few hours of dancing and mingling, you felt your energy and social battery depleting. Heleana, ever so attentive, noticed.

“Why don’t you go get some air?” she asked.

“There’s a million people outside, Hel,” you responded, “I honestly don’t think it would make a difference.”

“Why don’t you head up to my room then? No one is allowed upstairs. Well, except Aegon, because he lives here, but he’s probably out by the pool drunk or something.”

You smiled at her. “Thanks, Hel.”

You made your way up the stairs, quickly remembering that you had absolutely no idea where you were going. You climbed back down a few steps, looking over the banister to try to find Heleana so you could ask her which room was hers again, but it was to no avail. It would be impossible to find her in this crowd.

I’ve been here a thousand times, you thought, I can find my way to her room, it really can’t be that hard, and I’m really not that drunk.

You turned down the first hallway you spotted, trying to retrace your steps from the last few times you’d been in the house, still denying any sense of drunkenness you felt. You decided on a door you thought may be right, and opened it.

It was not Heleana’s room.

Aegon had his face buried in between a girl’s legs, her body seated on the bathroom sink as he kneeled on the floor, her fingers in his hair. You couldn’t move for a second, completely bewildered by the sight in front of you, as the girl let out a particularly filthy moan. You caught yourself and turned to leave, but right when you clicked the door shut, it swung open again.

“What the fuck are you- oh, it’s just you. Fucks sake, I thought she had a boyfriend that was catching us or something. Don’t scare me like that, Y/N,” Aegon said, chin glistening with wetness.

“That’s very ethical of you, sleeping with someone you know is taken,” you replied, your distaste for him evident in your tone, “I was just looking for Heleana’s room. Sorry.”

“On the other side of the house?”

You looked at Aegon confused, signaling to him that you genuinely had no idea you were in the wrong place.

“Tell me, Y/N,” he started, “have you always looked that fucking good in black?”

Your eyes widened. You had no idea what to say, and based on his breath, he was pretty drunk.

“I- I don’t- what?”

Aegon stepped closer to you, “did you enjoy the show, at least?”

He was a bit too close for a comfortable conversation, and you refused to be embarrassed by Aegon Targaryen of all people. “Isn’t she still in there? Least you could do is finish her off.”

“Who said I didn’t?”

“I don’t have time for this, Aegon,” you sighed, beginning to walk away, but he trapped you in between his body and the wall with his arm.

“Maybe I would be more eager to get back in there if she looked half as good as you do right now.”

“Don’t piss me off,” you spat, “I’m really not in the mood for your shit.”

Aegon pouted. “My ‘shit’ is part of my charm.”

“What charm?” you bounced back.

“You don’t think I’m charming? Wow, Y/N, I’m hurt. Like, genuinely, that cut down to my soul.”

“Aegon, you’re drunk. Now are you just gonna hold me hostage against this wall forever or are you gonna let me leave?”

Aegon looked at you, intently, as if contemplating his options.

“You really want me to go back in there?”

You looked up at him, frustrated and confused. “Why the hell would I care what you do?”

Aegon looked at you for a brief moment before nodding his head, removing his arm from the wall and gesturing you away.

“Thank you,” you said, turning your back to him and walking away.

Heleana reached the top of the staircase at that very moment. “Hey!” she called out, “I was just coming to check in on you.”

“I got lost,” you admitted.

“My god, Y/N,” she laughed, taking your hand and guiding you to her bedroom.

You and Heleana sat on her bed, sobering up and watching movies for a few hours.

“Would you be okay if I crashed here?” you asked her, “I still feel like shit.”

“Of course,” she smiled, “I keep an extra toothbrush in the hallway bathroom just in case.”

“Thank you. I just wish I thought of this earlier, I’d be more prepared.”

“Give me a minute,” Heleana said, leaving you alone in her bedroom.

She returned a few minutes later with a tee shirt and a pair of boxer shorts.

“What the fuck do you want me to do with those?” you asked.

“Aemond is away with his friends somewhere in Europe right now, so he won’t miss them.”

“I’m not wearing your brother’s clothes.”

“Oh, whatever! He’s a giant, they’ll be plenty baggy and comfortable. Plus, he’s not Aegon, you can actually trust that his clothes get washed properly.”

You sighed. You didn’t want to spend the night in what you had on, and no one would ever know you took his clothes anyway. “Fine, but you’re putting them back exactly the way you found them in the morning.”

“Deal!” Heleana smiled, jumping back on the bed as you changed.

The night winded down, and by around three in the morning, Heleana was fast asleep. You took the opportunity to run to the bathroom and get ready for bed.

You stood in front of the mirror, brushing your teeth and then your hair until all the knots were out. Mid-brush, the bathroom door was violently swung open.

“SHIT! For fucks sake,” Aegon almost screamed, placing a hand over his heart to calm down the startled beating, “what the fuck are you still doing here?”

“Staying over, not that it’s your business.”

Aegon rubbed his eyes as if he just woke up and was adjusting to the light, but you could tell he’d not yet gone to sleep. He scanned you up and down. “Are you wearing my brother’s clothes?” he asked.

You sighed, continuing your routine and not giving him any glances. “Shut up, I didn’t bring any clothes.”

“So you stole my brother’s?”

You turned to him, annoyed that he was still talking to you. “technically your sister stole them for me. I didn’t bring any of my own, and I can’t fit into Heleana’s. Why am I even telling you this? You don’t care and I don’t like you.”

Aegon’s bottom lip jutted out as he inched closer to you, “now why don’t you like me?”

You put the brush down in defeat. “Aegon, it’s three in the morning.”

“And?”

You huffed, “and it’s too late for me to have to deal with you.”

Aegon just looked at you. You waited for him to say or do anything, and when you realized he had no intention of moving, you started to make your way out of the bathroom. That’s when Aegon grabbed you by your waist and slammed you onto the bathroom sink.

“What the fuck, Aegon? Let me down,” you said, trying not to lose your temper as he held you down on the sink.

“You know I asked you a question earlier,” he spoke, voice low and lips close to yours, “and you never answered it.”

“Aegon, I don’t care, let me down.”

“Did you enjoy the show?”

You met his eyes. “The show that I watched for 3 seconds before leaving? The show I didn’t even try to watch, but saw accidentally? Yes, Aegon, how entertaining it was briefly watching you perpetuate cheating.”

“Would it kill you to just be nice to me?”

The question caught you off guard, and admittedly struck a nerve in your heart. He sounded so sincere, so genuine, like he wasn’t trying to play a game or garner a reaction. He truly wanted to know why you were always so sharp with him.

Thinking about it, he had never done anything personally to you. He never hurt anyone, except maybe the girls he never called in the morning, he just didn’t exhibit behavior that you ever would, but none of it was malicious. He just came off like a cocky and overly confident rich kid, but he never knew how to be anything else.

“You’re right,” you said, surprising Aegon, “I’m sorry, I know I can be really pissy with you. I don’t want to be mean to you, you’re just so good at getting under my skin. Also, you’ve ghosted three of my friends, but still, I’m sorry.”

Aegon stared into your eyes for what felt like an eternity.

“You don’t like me because I’ve ghosted your friends?”

“No, Aegon, that’s not the poin-“ you bowed your head, “you’re impossible.”

“So tell me why you don’t like me.”

“I don’t know.”

“You do know.”

“I don’t.”

“You do.”

“I don’t!” you exclaimed, “I don’t even actually hate you!”

Aegon smiled, “I knew it.”

“Knew what?” You were beginning to get frustrated.

“You like me.”

You scoffed. “Quite the contrary, no offense.”

Aegon tsked, “no no no, I think you like me. I think you like me like me. I think you wish you were sitting in this exact spot a few hours ago when you walked into the ‘wrong room.’”

You threw your head back, “I really was looking for Heleana’s room!”

“Admit it,” he said.

“There’s nothing to admit, you narcissist.”

Suddenly his demeanor changed. He got even closer to you, placing his torso in between your legs, lips almost touching yours. “Admit. It.”

It was a demand, not a request. His eyes were dark and his tone was lower than you’d ever heard it.

“Or what?”

Aegon growled. “or I’ll fuck it out of you.”

Your breathing stuttered.

You were undeniably attracted to him. You always had been, he was gorgeous. Part of your hatred came from jealousy when you would see him with other girls, but you also knew he was a player and fucked around, so you tried your best to turn it off by just fighting him at every turn. However, now, it was early in the morning and late at night all at once, both of your buzzes had faded, and your emotions were overflowing.

“So do it.”

Aegon slammed his lips onto yours, enveloping you into a heated kiss, one of his hands snaking through your hair and pulling roughly until your head was forced back so he could have easier access to your neck. He sucked at a sweet spot right underneath your earlobe, eliciting a whimper from you.

“Shut up,” he demanded.

“Excuse me?”

“It’s three in the morning and my sister is home, so shut up.”

“I barely made any noise,” you retorted.

Aegon paused his assault on your neck to look at you, pulling at your hair roughly. “Stop. Talking.”

Looking into his eyes, you knew it would be better to obey than to continue your back and forth, so you did your best to stay quiet.

Aegon began to kiss lower and lower, eventually kneeling in front of you just as you had seen him before. He began tugging at the waistband of the boxer shorts you were wearing, “I can’t believe you’re wearing his fucking clothes, you could just be wearing mine.”

You giggled, and then acted like you didn’t make any noise, so as to avoid Aegon’s temper.

“Something funny?” he asked, catching it.

“You jealous or something?”

Aegon tore the boxer shorts off of you, not even telling you to lift your hips, causing you to almost fall off the sink from the force.

“Aegon!”

“Shouldn’t be wearing his clothes,” he spoke, almost more to himself than to you as he quite literally tore the tee shirt off of your body, one jagged rip in the middle of the design on the front, “you’re not fucking his.”

You looked up at him, shocked, “Aegon! What the fuck am I supposed to tell Heleana happened to this shirt? I’m clumsy, but I’m not that clumsy!”

“You could always tell her the truth,” Aegon smiled, “or better yet, tell Aemond. Make sure he knows you’re not his.”

You sighed at his jealousy. “I really don’t think he’s under the impression that I’m his, Aeg, I really just needed clothes for the night.”

Aegon’s jealousy was overshadowed by your use of a nickname. He immediately dropped back down to his knees, ripping your underwear in half just as he did the shirt.

“Aegon! I don’t have any other clothes with me!”

He slapped your thighs as a warning to open them wider, “shut up, you’ll just wear mine.”

“I really dont thi-“ your words were cut off by a sharp inhale as Aegon pressed his lips to your clit, tongue drawing circles and swirling around the bud as he looked up at you.

A pang of jealousy hit you as you remembered that he was in this exact position with someone else mere hours ago. This moment wasn’t special to him. You were just another one of his girls.

“Aeg, wait-“

Aegon immediately stopped at your protest. “Did I hurt you?”

“No, no, I just- I can’t do this right now.”

Aegon looked concerned. “What happened? Did I do something wrong? Was it something I said?”

You attempted to stop his train of thought before it derailed, “no! No, it isn’t you, it’s just-“

“It’s just you just saw this show with someone else?” he questioned, standing to meet your eye level.

“I really don’t just want to be a one off type of person. I’m sorry,” you said, feeling guilty for stopping.

“Hey, hey,” he said, sweetly capturing your attention, “this is not the same situation as it was earlier today. You aren’t just a random one off. I literally left that girl in here the second I saw you. The only reason I was in that situation was because I was all worked up from seeing you in that fucking dress earlier,” he admitted.

“You were not.”

He nodded his head, “did I not make it obvious enough to you when I told you you looked good in black?”

You threw your hands up, “clearly I thought you were fucking with me.”

“I wasn’t fucking with you,” he assured you, “now if you don’t mind, can I get back to actually fucking you?”

You pulled him in for a kiss before he dropped to his knees yet again, tongue immediately finding its place on your bud.

He traced a finger around your soaked hole, staring up at you as he slid one finger inside of you, watching you throw your head back and attempt to breathe through the pleasure, desperately trying not to make a noise.

Without warning, he added a second finger, pumping both in and out of you as his tongue continued to swirl and flick at your bud. Your breathing was becoming erratic, and you fought with everything in you to hold back moaning.

Aegon curled his fingers, hitting that sweet spot inside of you, causing you to grip his hair and push his face closer into you. He moaned at the sensation, sending shivers up your body. You whined and whimpered as quietly as you could as he continued to work you until you started squeezing his fingers.

Before you could come, he ceased all action, standing up and meeting your eyes again. He put both fingers in his mouth, sucking them clean before giving you a wet kiss, the feeling of your slick still on his lips. The feeling nearly made him feral, deepening the kiss as he pulled his own boxers down to free his cock. Precum was already leaking from the tip at only the sight of what his fingers did to you. He used one hand to begin to stroke himself as the other held the back of your head, pressing you even harder into the desperate kiss.

You reached between your bodies, gripping his cock and moving his hand away. You began to stroke him, causing his hips to jolt and a whine to leave his lips and break the kiss.

“Fuck, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted this,” he sighed, barely able to get the shaky sentence out.

You kissed him as a response. You lined his tip up with your entrance, looking at him and nodding up and down to signal that you were ready. Before he pushed in, you grabbed his face, saying, “I’m not a virgin, you know. You don’t have to be nice.”

Aegon growled, slamming his entire length into you without giving you time to adjust. You threw your head back and he pulled completely out before slamming into you again, each violent thrust causing your entire body to snap backward.

“Fuck,” he groaned, setting a steady pace.

You continued to whine and moan, unable to mute or quiet yourself.

“Shut up, Y/N,” Aegon warned.

“C- can’t,” was all you could get out, his cock stretching your walls at a violent rate.

“I don’t care,” he spat, almost mean, “I said shut up.”

He then snaked an arm between your bodies, rubbing circles onto your clit as he fucked you hard. Your body gave out, and you fell backward, head leaning against the mirror as Aegon pulled your hips closer to the edge of the sink so he could fuck you deeper.

“Fuck!” you cried out, completely losing any control you had over yourself.

Aegon moved his hand from your clit to your mouth, covering it and forcing you to remain quiet.

He continued to fuck you hard, your body still being roughly pushed harder into the sink and mirror with every thrust. With his hand pressed against your mouth, your head was now pressed hard against the mirror, meaning you were unable to move.

The hand that wasn’t around your mouth made it’s way to your waist, gripping you as Aegon’s thrusts became faster and faster.

He moved his hand from your mouth to your throat. “Tell me how it feels.”

You whined. “G- good, it’s- ah! It’s g-“

He squeezed your throat. “I know you can use your words better than that, angel.”

“It feels good, so good,” you forced out.

“Good girl,” Aegon praised, never moving his hand from your throat as he continued to fuck into you.

“Aeg, I-“

The nickname made him feral. He began thrusting into you at an unholy pace, both hands moving to your shoulders to keep you speared onto his cock as he pistoned in and out of you harshly.

“You gonna come?” he asked you.

“Y- yes, Aeg, I-“

“Beg me.”

You whimpered, barely able to think or speak. Apparently your silence was too long for Aegon.

“Beg. Me.”

“Please, Aeg, p-please l-let me come, Aegon, please-“

He moved a hand back in between your bodies, rubbing your clit again as your walls squeezed his cock. You nearly screamed his name as you came, his only choice to swallow your moans with his mouth, kissing you through your high, still chasing his own.

It was almost overstimulating, him still thrusting into you in desperate need of his own high as you were attempting to come down from yours.

“Aegon,” you whined.

“Mhm,” he moaned in response.

“Please come for me,” you pleaded in the most seductive voice you could manage.

“Don’t tell me what to do,” he barked.

You grabbed his face in your hands, forcing his eyes to meet yours, “Aeg, fuck- please-“

That was all it took for him to come undone, unloading inside of you before pressing his forehead to yours to catch his breath.

You could fill indents in the back of your thighs from the edge of the sink. Once he calmed down and pulled out of you, he began to put his clothes back on, while you stayed seated, naked, on the sink.

“You just gonna stay there?” he quipped.

You gestured to Aemond’s ripped up clothes on the floor, “You gonna give me your clothes or what?”

[insidekatmind]

Meet my sister P.1-Jude Bellingham

Part.2, Part.3, Part.4

plot: Federico Valverde wants to introduce his younger sister to Jude, his teammate. He hoped that something romantic would be born between them seeing that their characters were perfect together but things take a different turn

Federico Valverde had planned everything carefully. The dinner was set in a private room at one of Madrid's most exclusive restaurants. As a protective older brother, he had always had one goal in mind: to see his sister Y/N with someone who could truly match her energy. And Jude Bellingham seemed like the perfect candidate—at least on paper. Young, talented, ambitious.

But reality often has a way of derailing plans, and that evening was destined to be unforgettable for very different reasons than Federico had imagined.

---

You were seated at the table, impeccable as always. Your black dress, sleek and elegant yet bold, caught everyone’s attention. Your loose, glossy hair framed your face perfectly, and your radiant smile lit up the room. You were used to having everyone at your feet, but tonight, you were there only because your brother had insisted.

When Federico had asked you to meet Jude, you’d agreed out of curiosity. After all, you were intrigued to meet the so-called “phenomenon” he always talked about. But the moment the guy entered the room, with his air of confidence and slightly arrogant smirk, something inside you sparked—not admiration, but irritation mixed with a touch of challenge.

Jude sat down next to Federico without even glancing in your direction, which only added to your annoyance.

“Well, it seems someone forgot their manners,” you said, breaking the ice with your trademark sarcasm.

Jude finally looked up at you, his piercing eyes scanning you with a mix of curiosity and arrogance. “Ah, sorry. You’re the famous Y/N? Guess the descriptions were a bit exaggerated.”

Federico cleared his throat, clearly uncomfortable. “Jude, that’s my sister. Maybe start with something less provocative?”

But you weren’t the type to back down. “And you must be Jude, the prodigy. Funny, you seemed taller on TV.”

Federico put a hand over his face. “Great. You two are going to get along just fine.”

---

Dinner continued with a constant exchange of jabs between you and Jude. You couldn’t stop provoking each other, and though every word was laced with venom, there was a palpable energy between you.

“So, Jude,” you began, your tone sweet but dripping with irony, “what’s it like living in Vinicius’s shadow? Must be hard being second best.”

He raised an eyebrow, his smug grin making you want to throw your glass of wine in his face. “Interesting, coming from someone who calls herself an actress, singer, and model. You know what they say: those who do too many things don’t do any of them well.”

Federico coughed awkwardly, trying to intervene. “Okay, maybe we can talk about something less… heated?”

But you ignored your brother, fixing Jude with a smile that was both a challenge and a promise of revenge. “Oh, don’t worry, Jude. I’m a multifaceted artist. You, on the other hand? You just chase a ball around. But I’m sure it serves some purpose, right?”

“Yeah,” he shot back without missing a beat. “To make more money than you’ve ever seen.”

Federico sighed, throwing his hands up. “I give up. I’m going to the bathroom, and when I come back, I want you two to act like civilized human beings.”

The moment Federico left the room, you and Jude locked eyes, the fire of disdain burning brightly between you. Then he leaned slightly toward you, that infuriating smirk still on his lips.

“You’re not used to someone standing up to you, are you?”

“I’m not used to someone trying this hard,” you retorted, crossing your arms.

“You’re funny,” he said, his tone almost admiring. “Especially for someone who probably spends more time choosing Instagram filters than living in the real world.”

You laughed, the sound sweet but dripping with sarcasm. “And you’re predictable. Let me guess: you’ve got a line of girls worshiping you and an ego that takes up more space than your talent.”

“You like to talk, huh?” Jude leaned back in his chair, watching you with a challenging expression. “But I bet behind all this theatrics is someone who can’t stand not being the center of attention.”

You leaned closer to him, your eyes blazing with determination. “And I bet behind all this arrogance is just a boy who’s scared of never being enough.”

For a moment, there was silence, and then Jude’s grin widened. “You know what? I like you. You’re annoying, but at least you’re not boring.”

“Too bad I can’t say the same about you,” you shot back, but there was a spark in your eyes that you couldn’t deny.

Federico returned just then, looking at you both suspiciously. “Okay, what happened while I was gone? Did you two decide to call a truce?”

“Not exactly,” you and Jude replied in unison.

Federico sighed. “I knew this was a terrible idea.”

---

That night, you couldn’t have imagined that the spark of hatred between you and Jude would grow into something far more complicated. But in that moment, the only thing you knew for sure was that Jude Bellingham was the first person who had truly challenged you—and that intrigued you more than you cared to admit.

[yuikomorii]

Happy Birthday, Ayato! ❤️

// Today is the golden boy’s birthday!! Sweet and spicy visual god, you are the reason of my unattainablly high standards… and also of my questionable financial decisions, lol.

This looks more like an Ayayui shrine than an individual Ayato one, but I couldn’t fit all the items in one pic, therefore I chose the ones that were the easiest to find in my room. :”)

Nevertheless… I did try to prepare a SCENARIO too! I used my nsfw edit as the cg, although I didn’t show everything. The romantic part is really cheesy and cringe, but if you’re into fluff, you will like that. 💕💕

~Operation: Ayato-kun’s birthday~

Yui: ( Haa… it feels as if there’s no ending to these anymore… )

( I woke up earlier today, hoping to finish all these exercises, yet I really can’t bring myself to understand how to solve them at all…! )

( My mind is completely in a whole different place right now. Today is Ayato-kun’s birthday after all. )

( Unfortunately, all the assignments kept me so busy this week that I wasn’t even able to bake a cake for him… )

( However, it’s still not too late for that, right? )

( Once I’m done with this page, I will definitely try my best to prepare it as soon as po—)

Reiji: Komori Yui, are you slacking again?

Yui: …!

R-Reiji-san!

( Oh no, he picked up my notebook! )

Reiji: Good grief, there are mistakes everywhere! Do I need to remind you that you are not permitted to bring disgrace upon the Sakamaki family as long as you reside under this mansion's roof?

Yui: Uuh… I-I’m really sorry, Reiji-san. I promise I’ll—

Reiji: Silence. I recently received your report card as well, and I must admit that I’m not pleased with your performance in the slightest. I was expecting such indifference from my brothers, but it’s rather disheartening for a human girl not to care about her education.

Yui: Y-You got it wrong! It’s not like I don’t care about school, but… simply put, the teachers have been giving us much too many tasks lately, and I find them quite difficult to solve, which stresses me out a little, to be honest.

Reiji: Hmph, excuses. I find it incomprehensible how such simple exercises cause you mental difficulties.

Nevertheless, I shall teach you then. Even if it requires the whole day to achieve that.

Yui: You will? Woah, thank you so much, Re— W-Wait, no! We can’t do that today!

Reiji: Pardon? Are you rejecting my offer to tutor you?

Yui: No, no! Not at all! It’s just that today is Ayato-kun’s birthday, and well… I would obviously want to celebrate it with him.

Reiji: Denied.

Yui: Eh—?

Reiji: You truly are a fool. Vampires show no interest in the day of their birth. Now, take a sit.

Yui: …

( I know Reiji-san is not in the wrong, but… I really do want to celebrate Ayato-kun’s birthday. That day may not be special to him but it’s so special to me. )

( Am I being selfish, I wonder…? )

*Timeskip*

Reiji: It appears that you’re finally able to understand how to solve this exercise. The next ones are similar to it, therefore there shouldn’t be any obstacles.

Yui: Yes, I see…

( I appreciate Reiji-san’s help, yet too many hours have passed by and baking a cake from scratch is not possible anymore… )

Place: Living room

Yui: ( Hmm… apparently I still have enough pocket money to buy a cake. I know a self-made one would have been more meaningful, but I really couldn’t… )

Kanato: Yui-san, are you spacing out?

Yui: Eh—? Ah, Kanato-kun, I didn’t see you there. I’m fine, but I’m a bit in a hurry, so… see y— Kya!

( He grabbed my wrist! )

Kanato: You’re going to buy a cake for my brother, aren’t you?

Yui: Uhh… well yes, I mean, it’s his birthday after all.

Kanato: My birthday was yesterday and I didn’t see you get any cake for me, nor for Laito. Teddy thinks you forgot about us. Tell me, Yui-san, is that true?

Yui: T-that’s not it!

Kanato: So you’re going to buy a cake for me as well after all? I might forgive you if you do that.

Yui: ( What did I get myself into…! I’m sure Kanato-kun will throw a tantrum if I say “no”. )

But… I don’t think I got enough money for two cakes.

Kanato: Please don’t worry about that, Yui-san, I know my ways. Or what, are you doubting me now?

Yui: …!

— shakes head —

Kanato: Good, now let’s go.

Place: Demon World Cake shop

Yui: Woah, I’ve never seen such big cakes before!

Kanato: Please don’t shout. Your looks already make you resemble a servant, you don’t have to act like one as well.

Yui: ( Hey, that’s mean! )

Cake shop owner: Welcome, how can I help you?

Yui: We’re searching for a birthday cake, but uhm… one a bit smaller than the ones displayed here, if possible.

Cake shop owner: Any flavor you got in mind?

Yui: ( Speaking of flavor, I don’t think Ayato-kun has ever told me anything about his favorite. He would probably say Takoyaki but a Takoyaki cake… that doesn’t feel right. )

I think he likes straw—

Kanato: Raspberry!

Cake shop owner: Wonderful! We just finished a raspberry cake a few minutes ago!

— brings cake —

Yui: ( It truly looks delicious…! Besides, it’s red as well, which is Ayato-kun’s favorite color, so I believe he would truly like this one! )

Kanato: Alright, we’ll take it!

Place: Mansion

Yui: Phew, I’m glad the cake didn’t get crushed on the way.

Kanato: It’s time to eat!

Yui: Wha—! No, Kanato-kun, you can’t!

Kanato: Excuse me, but who do you think you are? This is my cake, therefore I’m allowed to eat it whenever I want!

Yui: W-Well, don’t you want to wait for Ayato-kun too? This way, you two will be able to eat it together like bro—!!

(He pushed me in the cake!?)

Kanato-kun, why did you do this!?

Kanato: You ruined the cake!

Yui: Me!? But Kanato-kun was the one who pushed me there!

Kanato: Teddy says you’re annoying, and I agree. Now how will you fix your mistakes?

Yui: ( I can barely see anything…! )

Kanato: Fufu, look at her Teddy! She’s full of cake from head to toe! Now, let’s give it a taste che—

Yui: You can’t!

— moves cake away from him —

Kanato: I can!

— moves cake back —

Yui: No!

— moves cake away —

Kanato: Hmph, just give up already, will you!?

— pushes her away —

Yui: Wait, no—!!!

???: Oi, what the—!

— cake falls on them —

Kanato: Noooo, the cake!!!! Ngh, this is no fun anymore!

Yui: Uuh… Why is the floor so soft…?

Ayato: ‘Cause it’s not the floor, you idiot.

Yui: Ah! A-Ayato-kun!

Uhh… Happy birthday…~?

Ayato: Geez, c’mere, you’re an even bigger mess.

— picks her up —

Place: Bathroom

Yui: ( This is so embarrassing…! )

Ayato: Haa… You’re finally not covered in cake anymore.

Yui: I… I’m sorry…

Ayato: Huh? What are you apologizing for? I’m not mad that you dropped that cake on me.

Yui: That’s not the only thing I’m sorry about…

If it weren’t for my carelessness, you would have gotten a nice birthday, but now… you don’t even have a cake anymore.

( Ah, I’m feeling as if I’m about to cry right now… )

Ayato: Hey, c’mon that’s not worth the tears. I’m a vampire, remember? I don’t care about my birthday, so there’s no need to worry about such stuff.

Yui: Maybe you don’t care about it but… I do. I know that I’m about to sound selfish, but your birthday is very special to me. It represents the day you were born and I… I simply can’t imagine not celebrating it.

Ayato-kun is important to me, therefore that automatically makes his birthday important to me too.

Ayato: You klutz…

— hugs her —

Yui: W-Wha—! Ayato-kun…!

Ayato: Seriously, are all humans really that sentimental? Or does this only apply to cute girls like you?

Yui: …!

(He… he called me cute! )

— blushes —

Ayato: The day’s still not over, y’know? There’s still time to celebrate it if you’re really that obsessed with it.

Yui: …! So, are you really okay with that?

Ayato: Yeah? If I weren’t, I would have told you, idiot. On top of that, it’s not like I got anything better to do anyway.

Now tell me, Chichinashi, what exactly do you have in store for today?

Yui: Hm… uhm… nothing comes to my mind at the moment, but for now… I can’t say I mind spending time like this with Ayato-kun.

Ayato: Heh~? You suddenly don’t mind being in my arms while naked?

Yui: P-Phrasing it like that…!

Ayato: Well, if that’s the case, then… you wouldn’t mind if I sucked your blood either, right?

Yui: Go ahead.

Ayato: Hah? No talking back? Are you really that easy to convince today? Or, could it be that you finally admit enjoying the pleasure these fangs give you?

Yui: It’s not only about your fangs, Ayato-kun. I really like you as a whole.

I wasn’t even able to find a gift for you, therefore giving you my blood is the least I can do.

Ayato: Heh, I see… I don’t need your blood as a gift though.

Yui: You don’t…?

Ayato: Nope, ‘cause I already got the best gift ever.

Yui: Is that so?

( Did someone already give him something for his birthday? If that’s the case, then who could it be? )

( Ah… I guess I’m just overthinking, but now I’m really curious. )

Ayato: You really wanna know, don’t you? It’s already written on your face.

Are you getting jealous~?

Yui: T-That’s…—!

Ayato: Pfft, you really did get jealous, huh?

Yui: ( Ugh… he’s making fun of me now! )

Ayato: Anyway, there’s no need to. After all, the best gift I’ve ever gotten…

It’s you, Yui.

— Smooch —

The end

[imagineinside]

Star-Like Encounters (Hugh Jackman x Fem!Reader) Chapter 3

Previous Chapter: https://www.tumblr.com/imagineinside/760895461984976896/star-like-encounters-hugh-jackman-x-femreader?source=share

A/N: Heheheh I had so much fun writing this little Cinderella-esque chapter. I hope you guys have equal amount of fun reading it! :) (Also, as always, I do not know these people nor is this meant to be an accurate representation of them.)

Description: You begin your first semester at a prestigious university with a mix of excitement and chaos. After a frantic start involving a late arrival due to your roommate’s Hollywood-related detour, your day takes an unexpected turn when you meet Hugh Jackman, your roommate’s boss, at a movie studio.

Hugh, intrigued by your expertise in physics, invites you to consult on a film project aiming for scientific accuracy. Balancing your new academic responsibilities with a potential Hollywood cameo, you must navigate your dual interests. As you face your own feelings, you discover that the lines between your professional and personal worlds are more intertwined than you imagined.

Currently Applicable Tags: Sexual themes 18+, Fluff, cocky Hugh Jackman, flirty Hugh Jackman, age gap (55 and late 20s), so much pining, mutual pining, reader under alcoholic influence, grammatical errors, more to come.

The day of the debut event arrived faster than you had anticipated. Hugh had arranged for you to meet with him and his stylists six hours before the event officially began, which you thought was quite an extensive length of time. But then again, you had never gotten ready for an event like this before. 

Hugh had been texting you pictures of various different red and yellow dresses, sent to him originally from his stylist. You think the last time you had worn an evening gown like that was to your high school prom. It had taken a while, but you had all settled on a strapless red gown that would be tailored to your form. What had really caught your attention about the gown was the small trane in the back and the slit up the front left leg. It was simple enough that you wouldn’t draw enough attention but still beautiful enough to match the rest of the attendees.

Hugh had promised to pick you up from your apartment, and as you sat on your couch waiting for the text saying he had arrived butterflies of anxiety flew around your stomach.

“You look like you’re going to throw up,” Ashley said as she walked into the common room with her lunch in her hand.

“Jee, thanks, Ash,” you snapped back.

Your friend raised her hands in self defense, “I didn’t mean bad by it. You’ll be fine tonight, you don’t need to worry. Hugh’s a good guy.”

“I know that. Just how would you feel if your celebrity crush asked you out to attend the debut of a movie you’ve been eagerly awaiting to arrive in theaters?” Your knees started to nervously bounce now.

“If Jennifer Lawrence asked me out I would make it a night she never forgot. So good that we would run off into the sunset together to live the rest of our lives together,” your friend said dramatically as she scanned the horizon with her hand.

You rolled your eyes, “Sure you would.” Just then your phone vibrated in your hand and a text from Hugh illuminated the screen.

Yup, that was the text saying he was here. You stood from your seat just as a second text came through.

You smiled to yourself at that, at least you weren’t the only person who was nervous about tonight. You thought that he would be accustomed to events like this after so many years in the entertainment business.

Going out to the car, you waved once you spotted Hugh parked on the side of the street. He was waiting outside the front of his car, leaning against the hood with his arms crossed over his massive chest. Something about seeing him waiting for you like that made your heart soar.

His eyes lit up once he saw you, a crooked smile forming on his face, “Y/N, it’s great to see you.” If he was truly nervous, he didn’t seem to show it.

You gave him a polite smile, “Thank you for coming to pick me up.”

“It was my pleasure,” He said and opened the door for you to slide into the passenger seat. His raw manliness is even more attractive paired with his manners and the way he seems to prioritize your comfort and presence.

The car was merging onto the road when he asked you next, “So, are you nervous?”

You let out a small laugh, “Me? Nervous about being photographed by hundreds of people? With you? And possibly also meeting some of your castmates? And seeing my photos go up online?” You swallowed and squeaked out a quiet, “Yes.”

Hugh laughed and something about the soft baritone made you feel a little better, “You’ll do great. You get to play the part of my sexy arm candy for the night… help to distract them from this old mug.”

You know he mainly meant it as a joke, but you were reeling with which to respond to first: his compliment (which like oh my god, did he just call you sexy?) or the fact that he views himself as anything short of the hottest man on Earth. “I don’t think anyone will pay me any mind, Hugh,” you said with a raised brow and a teasing smile thrown his way. “A fifty-five year old Wolverine never looked so good.” Were you flirting? Maybe just a little…

You weren’t sure if it was the change of lighting as you drove under a tunnel, but you thought you saw a slight blush creep up to his cheeks. “I’m glad you think so. I was slightly nervous at the start of the movie production being able to pay tribute to my old character.”

“Hugh, even if you weren’t still super hot and muscular, I don’t think there could be anyone else to play Wolverine.”

“You think I’m hot, huh?” He asked with a playful smile as he turned down an alleyway to the venue parking lot.

Despite feeling your own blush creep up on you, you decided to try to play it off, “I’m pretty sure every girl in the whole of the world finds you hot. I am far from the only one.”

You let him breathe a moment as he reversed the car into the parking spot, his hand coming up to the back of your headrest–and holy crap his bicep was right there. You barely resisted the urge to bite it.

“Maybe so,” Hugh finally replied as he gathered his belongings and paused for a moment to look you in the eye, “But right now you’re the only one that matters.”

* * *

The two of you were separated into different rooms when you arrived. Apparently it wasn’t going to take as long to get Hugh ready as you, so he was going to be working on other things. His stylist was a sweet, older woman who had years in this field. You gave her full liberty on your hair and makeup, she knew much better than you what would be appropriate.

“My daughter looks so much like you,” she had said sweetly while working on your makeup. “Of course, she never lets me do her makeup like this.”

Brenda, you found her name was, had given you a more subtle look. Nothing too flashy. More a sultry, smokey eye look with a matte red lipstick to match your dress.

“I do prefer to keep my hair up,” you had told her. You found it just bothered you if it hung in front of your face.

“We can work with that,” she said with a small giggle.

She ended up deciding on the very ageless french twist hairstyle, but without the necessary claw clip in the back. About midway through you had lost count of the amount of bobby pins she was hiding in your hair. Finally you were able to change into your dress, and with a couple finishing touches, such as earrings, a necklace and a bracelet, Brenda said you were “red carpet ready!”

It felt like you were living a real-life Cinderella fairytale. 

For one night only.

“Hugh is just through that door,” Brenda said with a knowing smile and a wink.

“Oh, Brenda, there’s nothing going on–”

She cut you off, “I’ve lived enough years on this Earth to know when there is a deeper connection, even if the other people try to deny it.”

Clutching the black handbag she had given you, you turned away from her and opened the door.

You didn’t look up right away, not sure what to do with yourself. You had never gotten this dressed up in your life. Pantsuits were more your style for work, not… this. Not that you didn’t completely enjoy it, though.

A breathless “wow” caught your attention and your eyes snapped up.

Hugh was standing across the room, seemingly in the process of applying his cufflinks. Though something had frozen him in place. 

No, not something… someone. You. 

His chest was moving quickly with his breaths, as if the wind had gotten knocked out of him. You felt every movement of his eyes on you as he took you in, as if his hands were there instead, trailing every curve and flowing line.

Not knowing what else to do with yourself, you gave him a quick spin, “What do you think?”

The next thing you knew, he was moving to you from across the room, cufflinks disregarded on a nearby table. Every step he took echoed through you until he came to rest before you. His hands hovered midair between the two of you, as if he wanted to reach out to you but came to his senses. 

You wanted to tell him to “Do it.” The words fell from your mouth before you could stop them.

Then his hands were on your waist and tugging you closer. You didn’t even realize you had begun to shake until you raised your hand to rest on his chest.

“You look absolutely stunning, Y/N,” the words left his mouth like a whispered prayer.

His hands seemed to move on their own as one trailed further south over the curve of your ass, and the other came up to your chin and tilted your face to meet his. You didn’t tell him to stop.

“You don’t look so bad yourself,” you whispered to him as you shared the same air. You could feel the puff of his breath across your lips–

A knock at the door had the both of you jumping away. It was like you had just been caught making out at your parents house for the first time.

“Oh, Huuuugh,” a sing-songy voice called from the other side of the door. You could recognize it anywhere, you had seen the Deadpool movies. “I’m comin’ in so you better not be naked.” And just like that the door swung open for Ryan Reynolds to enter the room. 

His eyes did one quick scan before stopping on you, and you weren’t sure why, but you held your breath. “And who is this lovely woman?” He said with a grin and began to approach you, “I’m Ryan, and who might you be?”

“I’m Y/N, the astrophysics Professor helping Hugh with his next film.” You said and shook Ryan’s hand.

“Well he did not say you were such a smokeshow, dear goodness. Don’t tell Blake I said that, she’d kill me,” you couldn’t help but laugh at that, knowing it was all just a joke. “Listen, they need us out there in like 20 minutos, can ya do that?”

20 minutes… your heart felt like it was in your throat. That little episode with Hugh had really distracted you from your nerves, but not anymore.

“Yeah, we’ll be right behind you, just give us a minute?” Hugh asked and gestured for him to leave the room.

“Ah ah ah, no not before a picture of you two, c’mon now,” Ryan said and practically shoved Hugh back towards you.

Something told you that Ryan wouldn’t give up quietly and Hugh gave you an apathetic look. You gave him a small smile and mouthed “it’s okay.” The next thing you knew, Hugh’s giant hand was back around your waist and you were posing for a picture. Once Ryan was apparently satisfied he put his phone down and began walking out of the room.

“You two look great! Trust me, you’ll thank me for the picture later.” With a click of the door, he was gone as fast as he had arrived.

A heavy silence fell over the small dressing room once Ryan had made his exit. You weren’t entirely sure where to pick up after what you had gotten interrupted from. Were you guys seriously about to kiss? For some reason you have a hard time believing Hugh would want to kiss you of all people. He could have literally anyone he wanted.

Distantly, you heard Hugh ask you a question. Something about a photo, maybe? You were so in your own thoughts that you just mumbled a “yeah” and didn’t give it much thought.

“Hey, Y/N, you alright?” Hugh asked, his hand appearing on your shoulder.

You blinked yourself out of whatever trance you had put yourself in, “Uh, yeah, sorry.” You paused for a moment, perhaps this would be the best time to be honest with Hugh. “Listen, I don’t know if I can do this…”

“What do you mean?” concern etched itself between Hugh’s eyebrows.

“I’m going to probably be asked questions I don’t know the answer to out there. I don’t know the first thing about posing in front of a camera. I am not star material, I spent nearly my entire graduate years inside my dorm room. I kid you not, I was so pale I scared my roommate ‘cause she thought I was a ghost one night.”

Your last comment made Hugh burst out laughing, the worry on his face disappearing almost immediately. You smacked him, not hard, with your black clutch purse. “Stop it!” You exclaimed, now beginning to fight your own laughter, “I’m actually nervous here!”

“Sorry,” he giggled, hand coming up to block his mouth as if that would stop his laughter, “I can just picture it so well–”

“Ah, jee, thanks. That makes me feel wonderful.”

Hugh wiped tears from his eyes and turned to look at you sincerely, “You are wonderful. But if you don’t want to go out there, then you can just skip the red carpet and go straight to the theater.”

You blinked up at him, “You promise?”

“I will pinky promise if you would like.”

You thought for a moment, “Yes, that would make me feel better.”

Hugh let out another laugh, “You don’t stop surprising me.” He linked your pinkies together and squeezed tightly, “I pinky promise you.”

Then, with a tenacity that surprised you after his hesitation earlier, he wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you towards him until your chests were flush together. “Though it would be their loss not getting to see how absolutely amazing you look tonight.”

The air was beginning to feel heavy again as tension crackled between the two of you. You weren’t sure you would stop yourself if it came to another moment like before, and it didn’t seem that Ryan was going to come swooping back in. So, to save yourself from any future embarrassment, you playfully shoved Hugh away, his grip on your waist releasing, and you said, “You better get finished up there. Don’t want to be the one to make us late now would you?”

Hugh then finished putting together his suit, which was an all black ensemble but with a red handkerchief to presumably match your dress.

“How do I look?” he asked and gave a quick spin, mocking what you had done earlier.

“Very dashing,” you said and threw the magazine you had been flipping through to the side.

Before you could push yourself to a stand, Hugh was there with his hand outstretched in front of you. You smiled shyly at him before placing your hand in his and allowing him to pull you up next to him. “As I said, you can still leave the carpet if it gets overwhelming for you.”

As the two of you approached the door, your left hand rested on his bicep as he held you close up next to him. It was definitely worth standing so close, his bicep felt like a rock beneath your hand. “Thank you, Hugh.”

He gave you the most genuine smile you think you have ever seen before he leaned down and placed a quick kiss to the top of your head. And just like that, you were walking out for your very first red carpet event.

* * *

Walking out onto the carpet for the first time was even more overwhelming than you thought it would be. The immediate flashing of cameras had you recoiling and gripping onto Hugh’s arm even tighter. His other hand came up to rest on yours as another form of reassurance. Then he leaned down until his lips brushed on the crest of your ear to whisper, “Show them how beautiful you are.”

Lifting your head back up you squinted your eyes into the flashing of the cameras and gave Hugh’s arm a thankful squeeze. There was so much talking and photographers yelling around you that you weren’t entirely sure where to go or what to do, so you followed Hugh’s lead.

It was slightly mesmerizing to watch Hugh be in his element on the carpet. The way he moved into poses with you almost automatically helped you feel more confident, and you would pause every few paces to let photographers get their desired pictures. Later down the carpet, Hugh got pulled into a few interviews with Ryan, but that gave you a chance to talk to Blake Lively for the first time. You had absolutely loved her “Lady Liberty” look a couple years ago at the Met Gala. The two of you had actually exchanged phone numbers in the hopes of staying in contact.

“You doing alright?” Hugh asked when he and Ryan walked back over to you and Blake. His hand slid across your waist and stayed there, notched around your back, as if it was his favorite place to be.

You smiled up at him, “Yeah, I’m actually really enjoying this.” You settled a hand on his chest and looked at him in his soft, brown eyes. “Hugh, thank you for this experience.”

He smiled back at you, the crows feet forming in the corner of his eyes, “I’m not sure if this night was more for you or for me.”

You were about to ask him what he meant when Ryan exclaimed you guys should go get your seats in the showroom before everyone else got there first. You had agreed it was a good idea, and the two of you followed after Hugh’s costar.

The four of you got seats all in a row, with–of course–Ryan and Hugh sitting next to each other. You couldn’t believe that you were really going to get to see the movie with the two starring actors sitting right beside you. You would have to be careful to keep your fangirling to a minimum.

Watching the movie felt like a spiritual experience, or maybe that was just because the waiters kept coming by and handing you more champagne which you were definitely getting tipsy off of. Either way, it was amazing. It was everything you had ever wanted all wrapped up into one two hour length film. The comic accurate Wolverine had you bursting out laughing and asking Hugh how they had made him so tiny. Getting to see all the old mutants from the X-Men was also such a great experience. The Honda Odyssey fight scene would go down in your mind as one of the best choreographed fight scenes of all time. And don’t even get you started on comic-accurate Blade, Elektra, and Gambit. Plus X-23 coming back had you crying tears of joy on the inside.

Now you were watching the final scenes of the movie when Deadpool goes down to stop the machine from destroying his world. You didn’t even try to stop the tears from falling down your face at the noble sacrifice.

Hugh must have heard your quiet sniffles as you tried to hide your embarrassing emotions over fictional characters you had grown so attached to. “Hey,” he whispered, “it’s gonna be alright.” His hand fell to your thigh and his thumb began rubbing soothing patterns against your skin.

“I know,” you whispered back, your voice watery from crying, “It’s just so beautiful. I wish I wasn’t ruining my makeup right now though.”

Hugh let out a low chuckle, “You still look beautiful to me.”

When you looked back up to the screen, it felt like your world was coming to a standstill. Right there, with Like a Prayer by Madonna playing in the background, was a very ripped, glazed Hawaiian roll looking Hugh Jackman all over the big screen. You didn’t even realize your jaw had dropped open until you heard laughter from beside you as Hugh took in your reaction. Deadpool’s reaction in the movie was also totally warranted.

“I don’t know if I’m turned on or still sad that now Wolverine and Deadpool are both going to die,” you whispered to Hugh beside you who gave your thigh a playful squeeze.

You watched the remaining moments of the movie at the edge of your seat, wishing that it would never end.

“Wow,” you said as the lights turned back on and people began filing out of the showroom. “That was…That was better than sex.”

“Amen,” Ryan replied as he helped Blake put her jacket back on. “Catch you later, Hugh.” You waved Ryan and Blake goodbye as they left the theater.

“I think that was the most jacked Wolverine has ever been in any movie.”

Hugh laughed and flashed his bright smile at you, “I definitely didn’t get that fit without a whole team to help me do it.”

You gave him a soft smile in return, “You did great in the movie, Hugh. I think that will go down as one of the best MCU movies, like, ever. I don’t think that was the worst Wolverine, I think he was the best one.”

Hugh tilted his head at you, “What makes you say that?”

“Because he had so many demons following him. He lost everyone. Yet he still found a new purpose to do better. You can’t be the worst version of yourself if you do that.”

“You look for the good in everyone don’t you?” He said with a smile as he stood from his chair and extended a hand to help you up. Ever the gentleman.

When you went to stand, your feet wobbled beneath you and fell forward like a damsel in distress. Strong arms held you upwards and you heard a laugh rumble up from Hugh’s chest. “Sorry,” you mumbled and righted yourself, “I think I had one-too-many glasses of champagne. Just hopefully I don’t throw up,” as soon as the words left your mouth you cringed at yourself outwardly. 

“Sorry, that was gross. Very not ladylike. And you are always such a gentleman. It’s like you were born to open doors for me and help me up from a chair. Sorry, I’m drunk. Don’t hold anything I’m saying against me tomorrow.” You mumbled into your hand as you realized you were rambling on. Jeez, that must have been some strong champagne.

“Maybe I should take you home?” Hugh offered as he held one arm around you and the other in your left hand, helping to steady you down the steps towards the exit.

“No, God, I’m sorry. I’m really making a fool of myself–”

“That’s not it.” Hugh cut you off, “I just want to make sure you get comfortable tonight and do whatever you need.”

“You’re so nice,” You said and looked up to his heartbreakingly handsome face, tears forming at the edges of your eyes, “I’m an emotional drunk, you can’t be that nice or I’m gonna cry.” Hugh laughed at that, at least he was able to find you humorous in this state. “Ashley also texted me and told me she was having a girl over tonight… I don’t want to walk in on her again.” You shivered, “We barely got past it the last time.”

Hugh seemed to cringe at whatever mental image he had pictured as well, “Alright, then where were you planning on going tonight?”

“I asked our friend Janet but she didn’t respond. Oh no!” You exclaimed, “I’m going to be homeless!”

Hugh laughed and guided you outside towards the back parking lot where his car was surely still waiting for the both of you. “You’re not going to be homeless. If you need to, you can spend the night at my apartment.”

“Nonononono,” you hurried to say, the words slurring together, “I can’t stay at your apartment. I cannot see where the magic happens.”

“Where the mag–What are you saying, goofball?” Hugh laughed again as he opened the door for you and you did not slide into the seat gracefully, as much as you tried.

“You’re so hot. There’s no way I can spend the night at your place. I want to too much.”

Hugh began driving out of the parking lot and the motion of the vehicle made your head spin even more. “Why not just try to get a little shut eye, it’s a thirty minute drive to get there from here.”

* * *

You didn’t even realize you had passed out in Hugh Jackman’s car until you heard the hum of the engine come to a stop and the lights flick out. You had drool sliding down the side of your mouth which you tried to slyly wipe away.

“Morning, sleepyhead,” Hugh greeted and reached over to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. You reveled in the light graze of his fingers as they floated against your skin. “Let’s get you inside, shall we?”

The nap had actually helped to sober you up a lot, though you would never admit that he was right, of course. You were able to walk up to his apartment without any assistance in not falling over, though Hugh still stayed behind you in case you lost your balance. Once you got inside, your jaw felt like it fell to the floor. This one apartment was probably four times the size of the one you shared with Ashley, and it even had a staircase up to a second floor. So there wasn’t just one floor for one apartment? This was an entirely new concept to you.

And there was an entire wall of windows. You basically dashed over to them as you looked out to the sea just West of you and the city lights scattering the Southern coastline.

“Wow,” you breathed, your breath fogging up the glass.

“I know,” Hugh said from behind you, “once I saw the view I knew I had to have this place.” He reached forward and placed a gentle hand on your lower back. “Why don’t you go wash up in the master bath, I’ll get some clothes laid out for you.”

You blushed and mumbled a thank you before following Hugh up the stairs. The master bedroom alone was the size of your apartment, though you didn’t want to say anything. You’re sure Hugh isn’t the type to rub his financial status in other people’s faces, and therefore he probably doesn’t like people making comments on it either.

“Use whatever you need,” Hugh said with a smile as you worked on taking your heels off on the edge of the bed.

“Thank you,” you blushed, embarrassment flooding over you. “I’m really sorry about getting so drunk, Hugh. I don’t want you to think that’s normal for me.”

Hugh waved you away and came to sit next to you, the bed dipping from his weight as he sat down, “Tonight was about you enjoying the experience and the movie, which you did. I’m glad that you were there with me.”

“Did I say anything too unhinged? My memory is a bit fuzzy right before I passed out.”

Hugh appeared to give it some thought, “No, just that you think I’m hot.” He said with a mischievous smile.

You rolled your eyes as a smile grew on your own face, “Well I thought that was already obvious.”

“Oh really?”

“Well, duh, I’ve only had a massive crush on you since The Greatest Showman,” the second the words left your mouth you realized what you had said. 

The smile dropped from your face almost immediately as you grabbed a nearby blanket and threw it over your head to pretend you could simply disappear. You guessed that while you didn’t feel drunk anymore, your filter was still working on coming back. 

“Y/N,” Hugh called and tugged at the blanket but you fought to keep it in place.

“No, I’m never coming out of here.”

“Sweetheart, let me see your face,” something about the way he said it made you allow him to peel the blanket off of you. You weren’t ready to look at him again, though it felt like his eyes were looking straight through you.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered.

“For what, sweetheart?” Hugh asked as his hand lifted your chin until you had no choice but to look him in the eye.

“For ruining whatever friendship we had the possibility of creating.”

“Baby,” he purred, his voice like silk, “this was never going to be only a friendship.” Then his lips were on yours.

The kiss wasn’t frantic or steamy like you thought it would be. It was soft, and gentle, like he was just testing the water to see if either of you would get burned. You opened up to him, becoming pliant under his strong hand that was still on your cheek. A deep moan echoed up from his throat to urge you on, the sound making you squeeze your thighs together as you gripped around nothing.

“You’re so beautiful,” Hugh whispered, sounding absolutely breathless as he broke the kiss, only to come back for more.

You opened up for him when his tongue requested entrance and it was like neither of you could get enough. Sharing the same breath wasn’t enough anymore, you needed to be closer. You pushed against his chest, to which you received very little resistance before he laid back on the bed, all spread out for you. Something about seeing him flushed and breathing heavily because of you really messed with your head.

Before you had a chance to overthink it, you swung your leg over him and settled over his abdomen. Your hips grinded down on their own accord, though it rewarded you with a satisfying groan from the man at your mercy beneath you. You would do that all night if it meant you got to hear him make those noises.

“You have no idea what you do to me,” Hugh gasped and his hands shot out to your hips with a grip you were sure would leave bruises in the morning.

“I think I do,” you whispered, “because you do it to me, too.”

Both of you moved at the same time, lips crashing together. You didn’t even mind that your teeth knocked together as he ravaged you. His left hand came up to grip at the back of your head, holding you right where he wanted you. You felt him rut up against you in search of friction, and God you wanted it so badly too, but–

“Hugh,” you pulled away, breathless and lips red from kissing, “I think we’re getting carried away.” He stayed beneath you, chest heaving, as if he was still trying to process your words. “I don’t… I think we should talk once I don’t have any alcohol left in me.”

Hugh nodded, his mouth parted as if he was still contemplating whether to kiss you again or not. “Alright, sweetheart, I’ll let you get washed up. I’ll get you some water and a Liquid IV as well.”

“Thank you,” you said and placed a small kiss on his lips before sliding off of him as a reminder it wasn’t over.

You hadn’t realized the extent to which you had affected him until you looked back to see a tent in his dress slacks as he sat up. You quickly averted your gaze and strutted into the washroom.

Once you were done, just as promised, Hugh had left (what you would assume) was one of his shirts laid out on the bed, as well as water and a Liquid IV on the nightstand. Alongside it was a folded note that read: I’m sleeping in the guest bed, I don’t think I would be able to control myself with you tonight. Sleep as long as you need, I’ll have breakfast ready in the morning. ♥️

You went to bed that night with a surge of hope in your chest.

Bonus, Hugh’s Instagram Post:

Taglist: @corvusmorte, @chinchie, @reinabxitch, @shortnloud, @nizem8, @rexmeshlasblog (if you aren't on this last but want to be let me know!)

[worfsbarmitzvah]

I've thought about how gentile Abrahamic religions are antisemitic religious colonialism before and it pisses me off a ton and I'm thankful you said it, but now that it's someone besides me saying it, I'm gonna give some criticism (please don't take this personally)

Everything up to Abraham (particularly Adam and Noah) have G-d creating and tending to the entirety of humanity, right?

During Abraham's time, it should stand for something that G-d tends to Hagar and Ishmael, right? Especially since Hagar gives her own name for G-d and He makes a promise to Ishmael that he'll be the father of nations (or something like that). And I think the Prophet Muhammad is supposed to be descended from Ishmael.

And Noahides are a whole Thing in all this too ofc.

But the bigger thing is there are definitely texts and interpretations that take G-d being the G-d of the Hebrews and extend it to Henotheism, but for the Jews who are purely monotheists and say there is truly only one G-d in existence and He belongs only to us, isn't it cruel to totally deny the vast majority of humanity the Divine, especially if He is still their Creator and controls the world(s) they live in?

this whole thing is coming from the assumption that judaism was always monotheistic. it wasn’t. at one point in time we were monolatrous, meaning we only worshipped one g-d but didn’t deny the existence of others. hell, the language used in the torah supports this (the way the text treats egypt’s g-ds being perhaps the most prominent example). hashem has always been our specific g-d, since before the idea emerged that he is the only g-d. our/the world’s perception of him may have since evolved into this idea of one singular deity, but it has not always been that way.

hagar and ishmael still come from our mythology surrounding our particular g-d. the idea then emerged in islam, which was born with the same jewish roots that christianity was, that muslims were descended from ishmael. and, like, i don’t really mind or care about that either way. ishmael’s not a super major figure in our folklore. the story, along others in breishit, genuinely does lend itself to the idea that hashem can be the guardian of many different peoples, families, and nations. and to tell the truth i don’t genuinely have much of a problem with sharing some folklore and roots.

but it NEEDS to be acknowledged where those roots come from. for so much of history, right up until today, christians and muslims have pretended they know our g-d and our folklore and our history better than we do. they have MURDERED us for worshipping our g-d and practicing our customs in OUR way, the way we have been since before their religions and cultures emerged. if the religions that find their roots in our culture were more willing to listen to us, respect us, and learn from us, maybe i’d be less angry. but they’re not. they’ve tried and tried and tried to eradicate us and erase where they came from and make our stuff theirs. i don’t think it has to be like that forever but i don’t think we’re very close to it not being like that as of now.

also, i can’t think of a single cultural mythology that doesn’t have a creation story of some kind. it’s just the kind of thing that societies do when they try to make sense of their place in the grand scheme. the fact that we believe our g-d created the entire world does not actually mean that that story or that g-d belongs to the entire world. the fact that everybody thinks our creation myth applies to and belongs to them is just more evidence of how widely our culture has been co-opted.

there’s nothing we can do to change the fact that our g-d has been made universal (either through the natural evolution of our theology or from colonialism and cultural theft, more likely a combination of both) and i have to be fine with that. sure, fine, the people who have adopted our g-d as their own without actually bothering to understand us at all can outnumber us by orders of magnitude.

but why does our holy city have to also be their holy city? the christians have the vatican and rome and islam has mecca and medina. why do they need jerusalem? why can’t even that just be ours?

again, i have to push this aside and be okay with sharing if i truly want to have peace in our land. and i do, because i love eretz yisrael and yerushalayim more than i hate what has been done to her. the situation has grown so far beyond the injustices i am angry about that it is impossible to right those injustices without creating brand new ones. so i will be okay with sharing our g-d, our texts, and our land. but that doesn’t mean the injustice of it won’t burn like a fire in my heart.

[whateverisbeautiful]

♥️Reveling in Richonne - TOWL

#8: The Last Letter (1.01)

gif cred: @vidco

Rick's 'last' letter to Michonne made my heart break into a million pieces. It was beautiful and devastating and also a major testament to the way Richonne’s love was the pulse of Rick’s life and without Michonne, that pulse essentially came to a stop 😢...

But backtracking a bit, after that powerfully acted scene between Rick and Okafor, Rick sits alone in his apartment with a drink as he stares out the window and again looks like he loathes the window's constant reminder that he’s stuck far from home.

I just know whenever Rick comes back to that cold bare apartment he would so rather come home to a home with toys on the ground, paintings on the fridge, his wife’s cat statue on the mantle - any signs that his home is the home of his family. The apartment reflects his emptiness and it’s clear he resents being here stripped of being a husband and father which is what he loved being more than anything.

This scene also always makes me think perhaps on this very night, an adorable little boy with Rick’s good kind heart is sitting at a dinner table asking the love of Rick’s life for more tomatoes, while Rick is forced to sit in this apartment alone, looking fine and depressed with just a drink to nurse his woes. He should be at those family dinners right now with Michonne, RJ, and Judith. The CRM has to burn for taking this from him. 😞

Rick, clearly a little buzzed from his drink is about to get up when Pearl urgently enters. And she enters without knocking to which I was like Thorne, ma'am…

She tells Rick to turn on the TV and they see that Omaha has been destroyed. Pearl is understandably overcome by this news.

She then expresses a lot of belief in the CRM and their secrets and how the CRM is the answer to creating a future and Rick looks up at her sorta just checked out. You can tell it's difficult for him to be present at this moment after his whole hope of going home has been completely crushed by the previous Okafor exchange.

gif cred: @clonecaptains

Pearl gives him more info about the little girl that he saved and then she says, “You and me and that girl…we all want to be somewhere else with someone else” and Rick again has a quiet emotional reaction as he turns away from her with tears in his eyes. Bringing up Michonne & Judith with these CRM people is always a sensitive thing for him.

Pearl adds, “But we got stuck in the right place” and Rick doesn’t look at her but tilts his head and reacts like he clearly disagrees with that assessment. If this place doesn’t have Michonne and Judith it can never be the right place. 

She then says Rick is gonna see that this was for the best someday and she says she’s not sorry she stopped him, stating, “I’m not sorry I saved your life, even when you didn’t want it to be saved.”

gif cred: @twdfranchise

And the way Rick looks at her. He has this weary smile as he lets her know point blank, “You didn’t save my life.” First, he’s like don’t be taking credit for Michonne’s work lol. Michonne truly saved his life and every one of his kids' lives. She's the one who brought Rick back time and time again. 

Also I think Rick feels like if I can’t go home then I don’t have a life to live really, let alone a life to save.

gif cred: @twdfranchise

It seems the way Rick sees it, Pearl just helped play a part in keeping him stuck here permanently.

And it’s super interesting how he delivers all this with a drained smile because I think he knows what he’s contemplating right now and is pretty resolved to go through with it. Almost like he’s coming to terms with the fact that he doesn’t plan on living much longer so Pearl didn’t save his life because he’s seriously considering taking it after enduring such painful hopeless circumstances.

But Pearl begs to differ saying, “Yes I did.” She takes a sip of Rick’s drink without asking and then breaks the glass on his floor which again…imma need her to chill throwing glasses around Rick. Idc if it’s your schtick, Pearl, it’s a hazard.

gif cred: @twdfranchise

Before leaving Pearl says, “At least there’s one more good man in the world, hmm? One more good man to try and save the world…whether he wants to or not.” This was Rick getting yet another reminder that even though he doesn't want power, power wants him.

gif cred: @twdfranchise

Pearl leaves and we’re brought back to the teaser moment as Rick sits alone and nears ending it all by his own hand. Which I’ve discussed this scene in the first TOWL post, but just to add - now knowing the exact circumstances that led him to this point, when he looks out the window and at the drawing of Michonne it just feels like he’s thinking 'I really won’t ever see her again outside of these sketches.' 🥺

Like he had probably fought so hard to never even entertain the idea of not seeing Michonne again because, like his wife, he too tries to not fantasize about failing. But now, that very possible reality of never seeing her again has sunk in and it's killing him.

gif cred: @vidco

And as he stares out the window at the view of the city that he hates, he seems to be accepting that this might be the last view he has.

This city that’s supposed to promise its residents a new life is the very reason Rick wants to take his. 😞

With the glass shard from the cup Pearl threw placed to his neck, Rick then has flashes of memories from his childhood home burning and, while we don’t know it at this time, it becomes clear these memories popped into his head at this moment because it’s a reminder of the sacrifice his dad made for their family.

And now Rick is going to make the ultimate sacrifice for his family. Deciding to stay alive to save the world for his girls all while feeling dead inside without them.

source: myobsessionsspace

So then begins Rick’s last soul-crushing letter to Michonne. 💔

The scene cuts to Rick waking up alone in bed for his first official day as the walking dead. It says a lot about Rick’s resilience that it took five years before he ever became this broken.

But he’s only human and can only take so much (especially without the family that fuels him) and so now he’s arrived at what he believes is the point of no return, no returning home that is. And as he wakes in this bed, you just know he’d give anything to return to the mornings when he’d wake up to his arms wrapped around Michonne. 

Rick says, “I thought about ending it. Just stopping it all.” And I think it’s moving how he even wanted Michonne to know the darkest places he went to. Like she gets access to even his suicidal thoughts. He says, “But then…then it would all just be for nothing, wouldn’t it?” I like that he poses it as a question, even if rhetorical. He knows Michonne would say the answer is yes and would be so glad he didn’t go through with it.

gif cred: @nobleriver

Also, the survivor and protector in him wouldn’t let him go through with it because if he can in someway still save his girls from afar he’s going to try.

He says, “All of it for nothing. I couldn’t do it” and Rick’s face and the vulnerable delivery and breathing within this letter is so well executed and just makes my heart ache.

We see him writing the letter and I really like the detail of him having a ton of pages ripped out of the notebook. It goes to show he’s been writing a whole bunch to Michonne over the years. 

Then we enter the depths of despair with Rick as he says, “But I still decided to die. I’ve been writing you letters the whole time. Reaching out to feel something. Writing just to imagine you could read them.” Ok I’m crying. 😭 Like that’s so beautiful and painful and I appreciate that Rick is so aware that connecting with Michonne in any way possible is the only way he can feel alive here.

gif cred: @taiturner

Seeing him write in that chair with his hand missing, just knowing he’s been through so much hardship and pain alone...y’all it’s too much. 😭 

When Rick says, “This is my last one, the last letter I write to you that you’ll never see” the first time I heard it and every time after my heart just drops. I was shattered because this was him feeling forced to close the door on her and him in a way I’d never want to see. 🥺 Had me fully like...

After that Okafor exchange, Rick has finally accepted that all his hope of telling Michonne all this in person one day might be futile.

It’s also very poignant to have this letter occur over a montage of Rick restoring an office and moving up the ranks. As he declutters the conference room and becomes more involved in the CRM machine, he’s building things for them and bringing their vision to life while he himself dies inside. It’s a tragic and impactful contrast. 

Then Rick says what he’ll say a total of three times throughout this one letter - “I love you.” 🥺

I adore hearing him tell her 'I love you,' especially while under these sorrowful circumstances. He says it so certain, like it’s something he knows will never change nor fade even if he has to be dead now and give up on seeing her.

gif cred: @candiedblue

Something I’ve said in many of my posts is all versions of Rick love Michonne. It’s just the truth. And even Dead Rick - the Rick who has had to shut himself off and feel nothing to survive as the walking dead - even he still loves Michonne. In fact, it’s like now all he is is love for her and their daughter and there’s no other part of his humanity he entertains or recognizes anymore. 

By saying 'I love you' at this moment it’s him saying even tho this is the last letter, it’s not at all because he doesn’t love her. In actuality, it’s the last letter because he loves her so passionately that if he doesn’t kill the parts of himself that long to escape and be with her then he knows he’ll always try to get to her and he believes that will only put her in danger. So in a way, like Okafor, he too had to kill the idea of being with his wife. But even so, he still wants Michonne to know over and over that he still loves her. 

Rick says, “I don’t see the dead anymore or the ones I lost.” This will come into play big time in the immaculate fourth episode. And it’s such a traumatizing thing to realize you don’t see anyone you love anymore. That would make you lose yourself entirely. 😞 So Rick's super forlorn, I'm super verklempt, it's a lot. And the letter only grows more devastating as it goes on.

The most painful part of this letter for me is when Rick devastatingly says he also doesn’t see the sun, the sky, or the water and “I don’t see you anymore.” 😭😭😭😭

The way he says that. 😥 The way his voice breaks just a bit saying 'anymore,' knowing that it was seeing Michonne that was keeping him going before this. 🥺

So many of us have always said that when Rick looks at Michonne he sees the sun, the moon, and the stars, and his whole universe. And sure enough, Rick confirms that here by saying if he can’t see her anymore he literally can’t see anything anymore - no sunlight to lead the way, no sky to reach new horizons, no water to cleanse the pain.

He can’t see any of those things in nature because it was Michonne who lit his path like the sun, who made him rise up higher than the sky, who washed away his fears and pain and replaced it with hope and joy. Their love was an electrifying life source and without her, he can't live and the whole world goes dark.

And I firmly believe that this is such an accurate in-character response from Rick. Like this isn’t something he’s saying because TOWL is an epic love story so they have to dramatically play up their romance and yearning - no this is truly how deep Richonne’s love goes and has always gone, to the point that Rick could see his entire world fade to black without the hope of having her in it. 

gif cred: @perryabbott

Rick says, “I just see what’s ahead” and when his voice breaks as he says this it feels like his heart is breaking finally accepting that being with her is no longer what’s ahead. Now what’s ahead is far more cold and bleak as he says, “metal rotors, and gun oil and blood.” The beauty of nature replaced with the dark lifeless things of this apocalypse.

It’s interesting because you’d think when the world ended and turned into an apocalypse all those years ago, that’s when all you’d see ahead is blood and guns. But Richonne and their family managed to carve out such a beautiful life that it wasn’t until Rick lost them that he stopped seeing the good and beauty in the apocalyptic world.

And my heart melts over how this implies that part of why Rick could still see the sun, sky, water, and beauty in the world all those years ago was because he was with Michonne. 

Rick goes on saying that all he sees is “What I have to do, what I can do to help save the world even if you never know I did that.” An ultimate act of sacrifice.

And then the greatest loverboy to ever walk the earth says, “I love you so much. I love you so so much.” And what I love so so much is the way he has to tell her this and emphasize it. 😭 Like you can just feel that as Rick writes this last letter he’s still so overcome with love for her and all he wants is to let Michonne know she still has his entire heart. Even the dead version of his heart is hers.

I'll forever adore hearing this. It made me think about how we went from being so eager to hear Rick say I love you just once in TWD to now hearing him say it three times in one letter in the first ep of this miniseries. TOWL is a blessing in every way. And the way he repeats it in this letter it really feels like he could say 'i love you' 100 times and he wouldn’t feel like it was enough to convey all the love he has for her.

Rick burns the phones and letters as he tells Michonne he loves her so much. And seeing him burn those, I was like...

One; I wanted Rick to still be able to keep those phones just to have some bit of his girls with him. And two; I was like Rick, your wife is on her way to save you and I want her to have the chance to read all your letters like you hoped she would. Like I really wanted Michonne to be able to read those letters one day - especially because, while she'll later say it in a moment of tension, Rick really is a great writer. 😊

This last letter right here would have Shakespeare applauding Rick. Even tho maybe it's good Michonne never got this letter because it would be absolutely heartbreaking for her to read. But I just love that Rick earnestly and honestly pours his heart out to Michonne so romantically in words. This was yearning at its strongest.

But Rick burns these items because he believes he has to burn this hope of being with them for their sake. Plus, these phones and letters are essentially what got him “caught” by Okafor in a way so he’s getting rid of the rest to not risk any more exposure again. But also, these phones are what got Michonne to realize Rick is alive so they did more good than damage.

gif cred: @nerd4music

As he burns the phones and letters it’s Rick following his dad and grandpa's footsteps and adopting the mindset that sometimes it's for the best to die and live and it’s an act of protection to let things burn, no matter how painful the sacrifice. And honestly, this is a huge act of love from Rick because he’s literally dying for his wife and daughter. Ending his life to save theirs - something he's always been willing to do as evidenced by the bridge sacrifice.

And as fire is one of the most prominent motifs in TOWL, I really like the theme of it for its duality. Fire both cleanses and destroys and Rick will wrestle with figuring out which one he does on this TOWL journey.

The most heartbreaking letter in history then concludes with Rick saying, “I tried. Please just know I tried.” as he stares into the fire, watching the flames burn away the last few parts of the Rick he once knew.

He so longs for Michonne to know just two things: 1) he loves her with everything in him and 2) he tried as hard as he could for her.

But as hard as he tried, things just haven’t worked out so he ends the letter saying one more time in a broken whisper “I tried…but I failed.” And well if TOWL wanted to shatter my heart then mission accomplished because this letter never fails to break me. By the end of this letter Rick and I were in the same boat because I was watching like...

It’s hard enough to know Rick decided to die while still alive. Like that’s such a painful choice. Especially because choosing to die is different than choosing to become numb imo. You can still technically 'feel' numbness, but when you decide to live but die, you stop feeling anything, not even numbness. You shut off your humanness just to get through the pain.

And since our humanness switch is never meant to be turned off it’s no easy feat to turn it back on. Speaking from experience, once you shut off that switch, sure you stop feeling the pain but you stop feeling everything else too and it takes time and a lot of love to turn it back on. Like even love almost becomes a 'concept' more than a feeling because you're so alienated from having love in your life.

Fortunately, the woman who loves Rick more than he’s ever been loved is on her way to love him back to life. And thank goodness, because Rick needs Michonne desperately.

But then on top of all this, the aspect that makes this last line of the letter so heartrending is Rick didn’t just die but feels he died a failure.

Every day that Rick struggled to break free and had to live knowing his wife and daughter were out there and he couldn’t hold them, protect them, or love them added such a painful layer to his sense of failure. And it’s heartbreaking to hear his final letter conclude not by saying he tried but just couldn’t escape the oppressive CRM, but rather “I tried, but I failed.” It gives us insight into how much Rick’s mindset is that he is the cause of the failure.

He thinks this is on him and feels he’s let them down. He didn’t just ‘die’ disappointed, he thinks he ‘died’ a failure even despite really being a victim of his circumstances. And when I tell you that breaks my heart. It really really does. 💔

And now Rick just has to live dead and thinking he fell short of the one thing he thought he’d never fall short of which is finding his way back to his family.

That has to change him on a foundational level -thinking he’s failed and let his family down by not being able to overcome the CRM and get to them. I hate that he had to carry that false thought that he’s a failure for so long. 

This letter also shows that Rick is the literal embodiment of loving his wife more than life itself. He feels there is no version of him that can be alive without her so he has to die. And even dead, he knows he'll still always love Michonne which makes this outcome a punishment worse than death because at least in death you don't have to be aware of your loss. 😞

But let me stop here because...

I'll conclude by saying - Rick's last letter was painfully beautiful and tragically romantic. I love that his love for Michonne makes him want to write poetry and prose about how he feels about her and how much she means. I get it because Richonne’s love has me writing for days too. 😇

After this letter, I so needed a reminder of the light at the end of this super dark tunnel and once again, Rick’s dreams came to the rescue to deliver in all ways. 🙌🏽

I mean this next scene delivered Richonne, it delivered gorgeous chemistry, and also it delivered pizza and a ‘proposal’ so naturally it’s my favorite scene of the episode. 😊👌🏽

[ionlyeverwantedtobeyourequal]

Don’t ever tell yourself that you’re not enough, I am certain that you’re truly fine

PART ONE

Ot8 x reader

Word count: 867

Just a warning, this is my first fanfic! Does have age regression themes so if you’re not a fan, I ask that you respectfully just don’t read <3 also this will definitely have some angst

!THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION!

It had its hard days being their friend, part of it was from the hate you would receive from fans and another was how you eventually fallen for them through the years. You always liked Han, way before his debut, but you never wanted to tell him. You didn’t want to mess up the friendship you cherished with him and you also figured he wouldn’t feel the same. Now those same feelings of possible rejection only grew.

Friday quickly came, that meant the weekly game night with you and the guys. When Han told the guys how much you loved video games, Felix was over the moon and decided that once a week, we all would spend our night playing games and enjoying each others company. We all sat in various places in the living room, some were seated on the couch, some on the floor. I was seated on the floor, leaning against the couch with a controller in my hand as I played against Hyunjin who is sat next to Changbin on the couch.

“Yah! You cheated!” Changbin tells me once the match is over, showing how I beat Hyunjin in a one on one match.

I turn quickly to look at him, but before I can say anything, Felix interjects for me. “How can you say she cheated when we all was watching her?” He ask, eating a brownie. “Also, why are you speaking for him?”

Then the dorm was filled with banter, something that always happened during these nights. Han would stand, start arguing with Jeongin for God knows what. Chris would try and make peace amongst everyone, Seungmin would have his camera out recording everything, and I would just sit their laughing, not wanting to be in the middle. But tonight was different, instead of laughing, I stayed quiet.

Today was a particular hard day at work, and just like Han, sometimes your anxiety gets the better of you. But I did not feel like burdening the guys with my problems. Normally on days like this, it wouldn’t fall on game night and I can go home and regress. I knew if i passed on game night, that the guys would worry, so I tried to push my anxiety and the need to regress aside and I came here.

“That’s enough!” Chris speaks up to the guys after realizing I been quiet since the match ended. Chris’ worried eyes stay on me, but he doesn’t mention anything to me. Instead he sighs, “Clearly the arguments are doing more harm than anything, so let’s just all watch a movie.”

“It is actually getting pretty late, I should get going.” I tell the guys softly as I stand up which makes the guys worried.

“You never leave on game night.” Minho says suspiciously, his eyes squinting as if he’s trying to read me. “And if you do, you let one of us bring you home.”

“I just have some work to catch up on.” I trying making an excuse, earning a scoff from Minho.

“That’s bullshit and you know it. Since when you care about doing work on your days off?”

I sigh, knowing he is right, but I have to leave before I have a mental breakdown. “Min, I just have work-” I start to say but he cuts me off.

“(y/n) I swear if you start giving me that excuse again, I am not going to be happy.” Minho says firmly, concern written all over his face. My eyes slightly widen from his firm voice, my mind threatening to fall into that familiar headspace. Before I can say anything, Han interjects.

“She might have just had a long day.” Minho sighs and stands up.

“Well I had a long day too but I am not making up lame excuses to try and leave.” Minho’s words cut me like a knife. I know deep down, his words are coming from one of concern, but I still can’t push past the hurt he is making me feel.

I stand there, as I see Minho walk away, my eyes filling with tears that threaten to fall. When I hear the door slam, I flinch and that’s when my tears break free. Han immediately comes hug me, holding my tightly.

“He didn’t mean it (y/n/n), Minho Hyung is just worried.” He tries telling me only for my tears to fall harder, which makes it even harder not to slip. I can’t do that infront of the guys, they’ll judge me, they’ll hate me, I can’t lose them. These thoughts keeps flying through my head, not realizing that my tears is making the guys panic since they haven’t seen me cry before, besides Jisung.

PART TWO

[rebelrebelwrites]

My messy thoughts on season 2 (all three episodes) so far below the cut

- LOVE the way Sauron formed his body. Absolutely horrifying.

- Charlie Vickers is terrifying; other Sauron actor was good but his baby face didn’t help matters. I wish they’d just put a different wig on CV because DAMN; he unsettles masterfully. Could not keep my eyes off of him in episode 1. He was riveting.

- I do read Sauron’s intro in episode 1 as he was both genuinely considering or striving for repentance, but also the ultimate opportunist — stealing the king of the southlands mark, then all he does with Galadriel. Truly I think Sauron is better as the ultimate opportunist capable of great planning and machinations, but it’s not believable unless he’s handy at a pivot

- I realized that BOTH Sauron and Galadriel were mutinied against (which like, I don’t know how I didn’t think of that until seeing it because it’s not like we didn’t know generally what happened); more reason to believe that their connection was real and not deception. He meant the things he said in the forge scene on some level, and you cannot convince me otherwise

- Again, CV absolutely kills every scene/moment with Adar. The hatred and desire for revenge and scheming; it’s all palpable. Him and Sam H. also have electric chemistry. I greatly enjoyed all his scenes in Mordor in Ep 1

- I’m absolutely living for all of the angst even though it hurts. Elrond, Galadriel, GAL MISSING HER BOYFRIEND… (and being equally terrified of what she’s done/having let him in)

- THE FLASH TO THEIR MOMENT IN THE FOREST FROM UDUN WHEN GAL IS TRYING TO CONVINCE ELROND TO COME WITH HER! I died

- The lead-up to Annatar’s reveal was so good. Sauron is way too good at what he does.

- Okay the vision with celebrimbor plus whispers of Galadriel was great but I need more mind palace shenanigans ASAP

- This show is really gonna make me root for Isildur isn’t it (not like I wasn’t but I am enjoying seeing more of him, especially saving Berek. Horse girl at heart, just like his dad and descendant)

- Earien is making me mad but Valandil gave me LIFE

- poor Miriel. And Elendil. And Theo and Arondir 😭

- Charles Edwards is also doing wonderfully. I especially appreciated his subtlety in episode 3

- Disa and Durin are again faves. Love how Durin was immediately sus of Annatar

- I am very worried for Nori and Poppy but also I know they’re fine. It’s almost weird hearing The Stranger/Gandalf talk but I feel like they’re building to a confirmation with all the name stuff.

- Loving it so far but I want more Sauron and Galadriel and specifically them both SOON, pleeeeease (idk if we’re getting it but I can hope!)

There’s more but this is all I can coherently muster rn. Biggest disappointment? That we have to wait for the rest! 😆🫠🫠🫠

[slightlyhozy]

“Through the Cold, I’ll Find my Way Back to You” || Chapter One - “Honey, Don’t Feed it, it Will Come Back.”

Characters - Púca! Andrew Hozier-Byrne x Original Female Character

Summary - Maisie Quinn, after inheriting a home in Ireland from her late grandmother, slowly learns a dark past about the land in which it was built on.

Word Count - 2,184

Warnings - Nothing for this chapter other than light animal death!

A/N - SO EXCITED FOR THIS!! I will try to be consistent and write interesting chapters, we will get a real introduction to Andrew in the next chapter, I just wanted to introduce Maisie first and the setting. Please leave thoughts!

If you don’t know, a púca is a monster across European mythology that tends to be a shapeshifter, commonly taking form as a horse, goat, dog, cat, ect. They also take forms of humans which tend to have animalistic traits. They are known to play tricks on humans but never truly harm them. There’s a lot on them, so if you’re interested, I recommend looking into it. I am pretty consistent with the traditional idea of them but I will add my own elements as well. I will also explain any important information or facts if I feel is needed, feel free to ask as well!

“What’re you doing now?” I can hear Elsie snacking on carrots through the phone.

I sigh, hauling another box off of another, using my earbuds, we had been able to call all day despite the time difference. “Right now,” I grunt, setting the box on the ground, moving to search for my box cutter. “I am unpacking everything for the studio…” The room in question was a beautiful conservatory with beautiful glass windows curving upward. Outside, bushes with thorns and small berries could be seen, desperately in need of a trim.

“How different is it over there? I mean, you must’ve noticed something by now.”

“Well,” I huff, stepping back to appreciate the natural light coming into the room. “I live 40 minutes from Wicklow, which is nice…But I do miss the city already; it feels all so stretched out now.” It was terribly ironic of me to complain about Europe being big in comparison to America, but after being raised in downtown Seattle all my life, to be thrown into a village where I have to drive to get my groceries was different.

“We miss you.” Elsie pouted. “Who’s going to bring disgusting vegan dishes to every game night?”

I let out a laugh straight from my chest. “Sorry, babe, you just need to find another pretentious vegetarian then.”

Carefully, I pulled out my easels and canvases I hadn’t used yet. The room was mostly boxes, with only two work benches being built and a random spinny chair thrown out. Making this house look like the ones on Pinterest was going to be a process.

“Say, are you and Lydia going to be able to make up here for Christmas?" I ask, fighting the wooden easel to unfold.

I can hear her hiss, disappointment sinking in. “I… I don’t know, May…It’s just…busy right now. You know, if we can’t this time, we just will come up for our anniversary! We’ve always wanted to go to Ireland.”

“Oh, that’s alright.” My voice came out a bit more upset than I hoped, and I could feel the burning in my eyes, a small sniffle escaping me.

“Maisie..” Elsie said sweetly, making me butt in immediately.

“No! No, it’s ok. I get it. You two are working…married, busy, have all your friends there, it’s fine.” I hated how I reacted—so reminiscent of a child, I didn’t even notice the tears on my face.

“Maisie, I…” She paused, seemingly looking for the right words. “It’s going to be hard for a while, ok? But you’ll make lots of friends! And we will still talk every day, ok? Don't feel bad because you’re upset; it’s okay to be upset.”

“I know, thank you.”

I had moved from Seattle to New Castle, County Wicklow, a few weeks ago. A year before that, my grandma had died, who, other than Elsie, had been my best friend. The loss still hurt, but hopefully something good was coming out of it. In her will, I was left to this beautiful property near Greystones. The house itself was pretty humble but charming and well kept. The garden was very large yet outgrown. After living in the hustle and bustle of a city like Seattle, I needed this, something different, it was like she knew.

My grandma inherited the house from her grandmother, who’s grandmother owned the home before the "famine." My Irish family had left Ireland some time in the 1840s to New York, where we eventually found ourselves in Washington. Thinking back on how hard it had to have been to just be Irish in either country made me a bit proud to find myself back at this house, just like how the women before me wanted.

While modest, the home was well built and was a good distance from the beach, which I had been utilizing for walking Lenny. Since the 80s, our richer part of the family had used it for a vacation home, but as my grandmother got older, the only thing she made sure of the home was keeping it clean, despite the fact it was empty now.

——————————————————————

A while later, still unpacking, now in the kitchen, Lenny began doing circles around the kitchen, licking at my leg. “Shit, you’re out of dog food.” I whispered to myself, leaning down to pat his head. Now that I had actual utensils, pots, and dishes, I could finally move on from adapting to their version of Chinese takeout and cook myself a proper meal.

At the grocery store, I spent a lengthy time deciding which shape of pasta was the most appealing.

In my pasta-induced haze, a voice broke me out of it. “Gosh, you look just like her, all grown up.” I turn my head to see an older woman, around 70 or so, smiling up at me.

“Oh, did you…”

“Know Evelyn? Of course, I met you when you were just a wain.” Heat rose to my cheeks, It was always embarrassing to meet someone who knew you from your family in public. All I could think about was getting out of it. “I saw your…pictures on Facebook, and I mean, it was identical until…”

My hand instinctively went up to my head. “Oh? My hair? Yeah, uh, I mean, at least it’s going to a good place.” A few months ago, I had completely cut off the long hair I had growing down near my waist into a pixie cut; liking how it’s growing out, I plan to keep it.

“Such a shame what happened.” The older woman shook her head. “She was a good woman, ye grandmother.”

Awkwardly, I nodded along.

“Nice to see the property put to use, I hope the stories don’t get to you though.” That caught my attention.

“Stories?”

“Oh? You don’t know? There’s a saying that hundreds of years ago, when your family bought the land, it belonged to a monster…called a púca…Something about it torments the humans who lived on the land in an attempt to scare them off.” A small giggle escaped me; I was no stranger to legends and myths.

“It’s all coincidences though; lots of dead animals are found near the property; I’ve never heard of any real trouble happening.” She smiled sweetly. “God is on your side.” Obviously, being a devote atheist for over 10 years, I had no real fear of any monsters.

“Oh!” The woman beamed, reaching into her purse for a pen and notepad. “Here’s my number if you need anything, love, just a call away.” I watched as her shaky hands scribbled down her home phone, pressing it into my hands. Mary.

“Thank you, Mary; I’ll be sure to get in touch.” I smile as we part, my mind drifting back to the word. Púca… It sounded like puta. I stifled back a laugh.

——————————————————————

Later that night, while Lenny was eating out of his dog bowl in the kitchen, I guarded my large bowl of pasta on the makeshift pillow-blanket couch I had crafted for myself. I sighed softly, checking my phone every minute in case someone wanted to ask me how I was or send me a funny video. Instead, I sat alone in the room, rewatching episodes of Gilmore Girls until there was nothing left in my bowl.

As I washed out my bowl, laying it on the rack, Lenny ran around my legs with a toy, eagerly waiting for me to throw it across the house for him. I smiled fondly down at my boy, the only thing keeping me from losing my mind. “Hey boy, want me to throw it?” I cooed at him, kneeling down to his level, excited by my tone. He wagged his tail and did circles, coming back to me with the small rope. Taking it, I tossed it across the floor, enjoying his nails scraping the tiles as he ran towards it, prompting returning it.

After a few rounds of this, a scratch on the door caught my attention, causing my brow to raise and my anxiety to heighten. It’s fine. I thought to myself, tossing the toy again, watching him retrieve it. It could be anything. Anything? Like a…no. Stop. Wiping my face, I waited for Lenny to come back. As he trotted to me, the scratching was louder, more aggressive.

Setting him off, the small retriever began to bark at the door, his little body jumping back each time. Shushing him, I walked to the window, looking out; there was nothing I could see. Púca. I scoffed, shaking my head; it was just my brain. I took a deep breath, opening the door slowly, unreasonably anxious about what I might see.

As I did, my leg instinctively went to barricade the door, Lenny barking at the small creature in front of me. I didn’t know how to react to the fox in front of me; it stepped back slowly, looking at me, making sad chirp-like sounds. My brows furrowed at the sight. “Ok…” I drifted off; my initial thought was that the animal was hurt, but the way it walked around my patio indicated otherwise. Perhaps whoever took care of the house before fed it, but it hadn’t come before.

Being a natural animal lover and suck up, I close only the glass door, letting me see him still. The fox pranced around still before sitting down in front of the door, clearly with no intention of leaving. Lenny stood, his tail high on alert. “Lenny!” I called out disapprovingly as I heard his familiar low growls. In a small bowl, I scooped some of his food with a few pieces of left-over pasta on top.

Laying the bowl down, I went back inside; even if it wasn’t aggressive, I didn’t want to invade its space, even if I was guilty of interfering with nature in the first place. My eyes drifted over the animal’s fur; it was a warm brown all around, and the ears and feet were black. Under the jaw and belly of the fox, the fur was white, as was the tip of its tail. Mostly, I was looking for signs of mange—anything to indicate it was sick. On cue, it looked up; the way its green eyes flashed at me caused my face to stiffen as I saw the reflection of light in it’s eyes. I looked back; there was no light to cause the eye to shine, and as I looked back, it was gone. The house was silent except for the low growling of my dog and the crunching of the fox’s feast.

——————————————————————

“It was so weird!” I complained to Elsie over the phone, clutching my colorful robe, tea in the other hand.

“Maisie, usually you make amazing choices, but this was dumb.” She said it matter-of-factly.

I shake my head, pacing around the cold floor. “How? It was hungry, Elsie; what was I supposed to do? Let it starve.”

“No, you’re supposed to call the Irish Animal Control, obviously. It could have had rabies.”

“Rabies? I don’t think so.” I chuckled, so sure of myself. “It wasn’t like…foaming at the mouth or aggressive.”

“Maisie, when animals have like…early rabies or something, they act oddly tolerant to humans, was there mange? Was it dehydrated or anything?”

“No… It looked really healthy, actually. It just wanted food; no one got bit, no one got hurt. Elsie, It isn’t that big of a deal; it’s a one-time thing.”

I heard a deep, disappointed sigh escape her. “Maybe you should’ve been raised in the mountains…Look, when you feed animals, they expect that you will give them food; they’ll come back. When I was little, growing in Bend, I accidentally fed a raccoon once, and she brought generations of baby raccoons for years.”

Walking to my porch, wanting to enjoy my tea with the cool air, I open the door. “If it comes back, I just won’t feed it; I learned my lesson, ok.” My eyes immediately drifted down in front of me.

“Maisie?”

“Uh, sorry…” Carefully, I set my tea on the railing. On the concrete, I stared at a small rodent in front of me, absolutely gutted. “There is a mutilated mouse on my porch.” I said breathlessly, always hurt by any dead animals.

“Oh, see! Now it’s rewarding you!” She complained over the phone as I stayed silent.

“Do you think they’re like cats? Like, they’ll bring you dead stuff because they think you stink at hunting or something…” I wasn’t too sure what to do with the body.

“I don’t know,” Elsie said flatly. “What I do know is that you should stop feeding it; just for your and Lenny’s sake, I don’t want you calling me at 3 am because you have to get rabie shots in your ass, ok?” On my side of the phone, I nodded, immediately looking for a reason to hang up. “Oh shit, it’s already so late, ok, Maisie, I love you; I’ll call you later, ok?” Thank god. Is all I could think.

After using a poop bag to toss the animal into the outside bins, I went to pull out my laptop, pulling up my laptop and searching: What is a Púca?

[sinning5sos]

one of the boys (you can choose which one!!) having corruption kink and teaching y/n some stuff? I think it would be so hot him teaching her how to touch herself cause she’s never done it before and in the end just being “good but not as great as you make it feel”.

so basically innocent!yn + corruption kink if you could and isn’t weird for u to write.

Corruption

Requested: Yes you little freak, I love it

Word Count: ~2,100

Smut:  praise kink!!!!!!! Corruption, masturbation, teaching? Etc. DIRTY!

We all know Ashton has to be the kinkiest one out of the group

“Truth or dare, what are we back in high school?” Luke said, laughing off Michael’s suggestion. Michael rolled his eyes but leaned back against the couch. You were sitting next to him, Calum, Luke and their significant others on the opposite side of the coffee table. Ashton was off in the kitchen, gathering snacks for the group. It was a weekly occurrence that you all got together, something beneficial for all of you involved.

“We all know everything about one another anyway.” Calum said, and Luke chuckled.

“Well, nearly everything. We still don’t fully know you,” Calum’s fiance pointed out, her gaze on yours and everyone else followed.

“You guys know a lot about me,” You said, laughing a bit awkwardly but Michael shook his head.

“Mmm, not all of it. We don’t know the juicy details of yours and Ashton’s sexual encounters.” He said, wiggling his eyebrows. The girls around the table scoffed, but the boys laughed slightly.

“Who’s in charge in the bedroom? Is it you?” Luke’s wife asked, and you laughed again as you shook your head. You weren’t really sure how to answer that. You’ve had a lot of fun with Ashton, but you’ve always felt as if there could have been something else, if there could have been more.

“It’s equal in the bedroom,” You said, taking a sip of your drink to give you time to think of an answer, “But of course, it’s more so Ashton.”

“Well obviously, we all know that Ashton is super fucking kinky, it’s only a matter of time before he truly corrupts you,” Calum said, lifting his beer up in a cheers motion and you felt the blush creep onto your cheeks.

“He’s probably already done it, hasn’t he?” Michael prodded, nudging his knee with yours and you laughed, hoping your embarrassment wasn’t showing itself.

“What are you going on about me corrupting my girlfriend?” Ashton asked, bringing a tray of food into the living room. He had a smile on his face but a pointed look in his eyes. 

You smiled up at him, taking his hand as he sat on the other side of you, “Michael, you’re not being a dick again are you?”

Michael chuckled as he shook his head, and Ashton leaned his head down against yours. He turned slightly and kissed your hair, and you smiled as the topic drifted off to a different conversation.

“Tell me about it later,” Ashton murmured into your hair and you nodded. You knew all the jokes of Ashton being the kinkiest one, but he hadn’t shown that side to you. You weren’t a virgin, but you also weren’t as experienced as he was, and now that thought was a slight insecurity. You felt yourself becoming distant from the conversation, which Ashton so graciously covered for you as you thought more about what the boys had said.

Ashton hadn’t corrupted you at all, nor has he let you feel any shame in it whatsoever. But you wanted more from him, you just weren’t sure how to get it.

* * *

“Baby girl, why are you acting like this? Is it because of the conversation that I walked in on earlier?” Ashton asked, moving to join you on the bed as he knelt beside you.

“I'm not acting like anything.” You insisted, but you knew that was a lie. The conversation had been replaying over in your head, again and again, until the two of you had gotten to this moment. You weren't sure why the conversation was impacting you so much. I'm at the boys a joke around about summer things in the past, but there was a part of your deep down that wondered if Ashton had been holding out on you.

“Okay fine, I am. I’m sorry,” You said, laughing slightly as he looked at you.

“Don’t be sorry, just talk to me about what you’re feeling.” He said, an authentic smile on his face as he leaned down closer to you. He pressed his lips against yours, a nice gentle kiss but pulled back. 

You leaned in again for a kiss, deepening it and racking your brain on how to be more…aggressive. You bit down on his lip but winced as you pulled away.

“Princess, what was that?”

“The boys are talking earlier at Luke's that you're obviously the very kinky one and that I am not as experienced by your means. I don't know, it's just been kind of stuck in my head since we left.”

“Can you explain a little bit more?” He asked, nodding as he cupped your cheek, his thumb grazing the skin.

“I want you to corrupt me.”

He chuckled as he dropped his hand but stopped when he realized you were serious.

“Baby, what do you mean?” He asked and you sighed as you thought more about it. 

“I don't know, I just want you to teach me more. I'm not saying that I am completely innocent, but I know there's more that you wanna explore but you’ve been holding back on me?” You suggested.

“Is this coming only from the conversation or is this something you’ve been thinking about for a while?”

“I guess I’ve been thinking about it for a while,” You said sheepishly. His brow furrowed at your response, and he pushed off the bed, “Baby wait, I’m not -”

He cut you off with his hand raised and you quickly shut your mouth.

“I’m not mad. But we’re going to have some fun now, since you want to learn so badly. You want to be my little slut, is that what you want?” He asked, his voice hard but his eyes still soft.

You felt the blush creep back into your cheeks but nodded.

“Good girl. Now I want you to get up, strip, and then sit with your back up against the headboard.” He commanded. You were quick to follow his words, pushing off the bed yourself and climbing out of your pajamas. You shivered slightly as the air, chilled by the AC unit, now was blowing against your skin. You followed his instructions and climbed back onto the bed, your back now against the headboard.

He stripped out of his boxers and sat on the edge of the bed, by your feet and gripped his own cock. You licked your lips in anticipation, now so excited to hear his next words.

“Spread your legs Princess,” He murmured, his voice low and his eyes dark. You slowly spread your legs, feeling self conscious but also empowered and how hungry he now looked.

“I’m going to tell you what to do, and I want you to do exactly what I say. My mouth is about to be very vulgar, can you handle that?”

You nodded, but his gaze caught your attention.

“Verbal confirmation. Everything will revolve around your ability to answer me, is that understood?”

“Yes Ashton,” You whispered, and he nodded. 

“Good girl,” He praised, and you bit down on your lip again at the praise. Did you have a praise kink? “Now, I want you to take your right hand and bring it down to that sweet pussy of yours.” 

You followed his instructions, your hand grazing down your front to your core and looked up at him, waiting for the next cue.

“I want your fingers to tease your slit, but no penetration yet. Up and down, collect some of those juices I see running already.” He said. You followed his instructions, your two fingers grazing your lips. Your body jolted at the contact, but you kept your gaze on Ashton. His hand was moving ever so slightly, teasing himself and you at the same time.

“The same rhythm I’m stroking my cock, I want you to start fucking yourself with your fingers.” He muttered.

“Yes Ashton,” You breathed out. Your fingers, already slick from stroking yourself, pushed inside of you. You let out a slight gasp at the feeling, craving it to be his cock instead but you didn’t voice that - not yet.

“Good girl. Tell me how that’s making you feel?” He murmured. He started to stroke his cock just a bit quicker now and you matched his pace.

“It feels so fucking good Ash,” You moaned out. He chuckled as he nodded, licking his lips as he watched your fingers move.

“God, already so fucking wet and you’re only fucking yourself. You’re a fucking vision right now,” He breathed out, his eyes closing for a second as he increased his pace once again, “Insert another finger inside of you and start rubbing your clit with your other hand. Fast too, don’t hold back on it.”

You followed his instructions once again, adding in your ring finger inside of you as you brought your left hand to your clit. You moaned as you made contact with yourself, your clit being a sensitive spot for you. You started out rubbing slow circles, but as you heard him tsk, you sped up.

“Tell me again how you're feeling right now, baby girl.” He said, but you barely heard him over the sound of your own moans. You couldn't help it, the way that they fell from your lips at the situation. Ashton looked so hot sitting at the edge of the bed and stroking himself while fucking yourself with your fingers. 

“I feel so fucking good Ashton. I think I’m going to cum soon.”

“Good. Keep going, but don’t you dare cum without my permission.” He said, and you nodded.

“Ah, words Princess, or I’ll have to punish you.” He snapped.

“Yes Ashton, I won’t cum unless you tell me to,” You breathed out, your eyes peeking up at his and seeing him satisfied. He had a smug look on his face, his hand still stroking at a steady rhythm and you were starting to struggle to keep up. You felt your thighs begin to shake, but you kept your gaze on Ashton as you continued fucking yourself.

“Ash,” Your voice was desperate, but he chuckled. You positioned yourself sitting up more, your fingers still fucking yourself as your other hand was on your clit, and you moaned out as your body began to shake.

“Ash, please,” You begged. He stopped stroking and moved closer, giving you a singular nod.

“Cum for me princess,” He said, and your abs and thighs started to burn with how much you were restraining yourself. You let everything go, your orgasm crashing into you as you came on your own fingers. You stilled, your body now exhausted and Ashton went back to stroking himself.

“Let me taste you,” He murmured, and you brought your hand up to his lips. He sucked and moaned with your three fingers in his mouth, before releasing them as he was about to cum himself. He stilled, his cock twitching as he came and you enjoyed watching him become undone.

“I’m going to clean up real quick, then we’ll chat.” He murmured, pressing a kiss on your lips and you hummed quietly. He walked into the bathroom, and you pushed up on your elbows as you watched him grab a washcloth and run it under warm water before returning to you. You moaned as his fingers brushed against your core, feeling extremely sensitive from what had just happened.

“Tell me baby girl, what do you think?” He murmured, pressing a kiss against your neck and trailed them down your throat.

“I definitely enjoyed that,” You whispered. He chuckled as he nodded.

“You definitely did. Did you like fucking yourself while I watched?” He asked, sliding down slightly to drop the rag in the laundry basket before he turned back to face you. This was your favorite version of Ashton, his cheeks flushed and his face glowing in the post orgasm haze.

“I’d much rather have you inside of me instead,” You breathed out and he chuckled as he crawled up the bed, closer to you. He met your lips with his, pushing far more forcefully than earlier and you smiled into the kiss. He pulled back, his hand gripping the side of your hip as he lifted himself up.

“You’re going to regret those words Princess,”

[galaxygirl-katie27]

Ryouga/Nasch Redesign

Click for better quality!

More Notes about it under the cut!

-Firstly I wanted to make his past life a.k.a. Nasch look DIFFERENT than Ryouga himself. Past lives do not work that way. They may look similar, but not directly a copy paste version. I mean, Ryouga Kamishiro isn’t even Nasch reincarnated. It is implied, if not canon, that the Kamishiros are Descendants of Nasch and Merag (however so, because I don’t think they had kids??), so I guess it makes sense, that they look similar. But definitely not the same! I also made Nasch older than Ryouga, because I won‘t have a 14 year old fight in a war and lose every single one of his soldiers (and his sister and adopted daughter). Here he‘s 19.

-Which also brings me to my trans!Ryouga headcanon, where I think that Ryouga was actually born a girl— Important! Ryouga, not Nasch! Nasch was born as a boy. — So Ryouga was originally a girl, but after the accident, when Nasch‘s soul entered her/his body, Ryouga started to feel more like a boy, because her/his soul was now actually a male and not female anymore.

-Also I finally settled down, what nationalities I think all the Barinas are. As you can see I headcanon Nasch and Merag as Greek (maybe Japanese mixed as Ryouga and Rio, but still part Greek, because of the descendants thing). I just blame the locations of their ruins on volcanic locations shift, as someone informed me about it on my map post. You‘ll see what I came up with for the others, I’m especially excited for Vector.

-I also liked the Heterochromia in his Barian form, so I think he had it already as Nasch and only got it back, when regaining his memories and barian powers. Because the left eye of the barians only turns red when dueling, so they can see the monsters and all. You could say they see… Duel Spirits. But that’s the thing. They can only see them in duels or when they „activate“ their red eye. But I think Nasch, as the leader of the barians is so powerful that his red eye is permanent, making him able to see duel spirits all the time. (I mean Vector had to absorb 4 barian emperors to even truly compete with Nasch, meaning Nasch alone is as powerful as 5 barian emperors)

-I changed his necklace to an actual shark tooth, because I was so disappointed, when I found out it wasn’t a real shark tooth. I mean, yeah it‘s cute that it had a family picture of them in it, but I’m not saying he doesn’t have that anymore, just not in a necklace. I think the tooth is something he got it from his father, because I headcanon he was a marine biologist. Ryouga also wants to become a marine biologist and study sharks. Because being emperor isn’t really an option in this time.

-We know Ryouga and Rio share silver rings and he still has his, he now just has a golden extra one with a sapphire, which serves as a promise ring for him and Durbe. Durbe of course also has one, also golden with a ruby.

-He, Rio and Durbe all share friendship bracelets, with their barian aura colours. It was Rio‘s idea, but Durbe made them.

-I also love the idea of him and Rio having shark teeth. Were they born with them? No one knows…

-Now for the Nasch redesign, I gave him a more casual kind of look. Of course he has some armour, but only wears it later in the story, when really going into war.

-I also gave him a crow BECAUSE KING NEEDS A CROWN and made it look similar to his barian crown, but with extra wings on them. He let them be added to the crown, to show his connection to Durbe and the alliance with his king indirectly to the whole kingdom. Also because he misses him. Of course not every one was fine with this, but Nasch was such a beloved ruler, no one dared to oppose him.

-I got the Idea for the sword switch from a fanfic I read about them once, where they actually got their swords together ad named them after each others stars of the big dipper. So here they got their swords, but switched them and named them after the other (Dubhe and Benetnasch) so they could still fight side by side, even when apart.

If you have any other questions about the redesigns, ask away, because as you can tell I really like to yap about them! :)

[staytinyville]

Hyunjin

PLEASE REFER TO MASTERLIST TO GET FULL TAROT READING EXPERIENCE

↣ Summary: With a new section of your college art class coming up, you were worried that you wouldn’t get the painting the right way you wanted. At least not the right way the model would want it. Hyunjin was there to tell you an artist only paints what they see even if others do not. 

↣ Characters/Pairing: Hwang Hyunjin x gn!reader

↣ Genre: smut (m)

↣ AU/Trope info: college!au, artist!au, 

↣ Word Count: 1.5k

↣ Warnings: lots of teasing, unprotected sex (we don’t do that here),

↣ A/N: Artist!Hunjin and the aspect of a nude painting. Yes please. Also I feel I write my smut too emotional.

THE HIEROPHANT

Spiritual Wisdom, Religious Beliefs, Conformity, Tradition, Institutions

Just like everyone else, you have your own personal beliefs and with this card it tells you that you need to understand them before all else. Go in depth into what you want to know or what you already know. There is a lot of knowledge out there waiting to be discovered.

You can work alone or work with a mentor who can help you to understand these beliefs. If not you yourself can be taking on the role of mentor for liked minded people.

A lot of this card is about your inner thoughts and what you truly think about the world. You should always stick to what you believe even if others are pushing for different things.

V THE HIEROPHANT

“For our next section, we will be going over nude art.” Your teacher began as the entire class was picking up their supplies. “You all have signed a waiver at the beginning of the course explaining it, so those of you who will not be doing it shall go to another course for the time being.”

You dropped your shoulders as you began to sag. You continued on packing, trying to come up with the best solution to the problem you were facing. You were having doubts about what to do with this new section. While you had signed the waiver that you would be participating in this section of the course, you were doubting your artistic abilities. 

“You alright?” Your friend Hyunjin asked you.

“Yeah, I'm fine.” You turned to him. “I just don't know how to work with nude drawings.”

“Have you not seen someone nude?” He asked with furrowed eyebrows. 

“Oh god, no.” You laughed. “I just don't feel confident enough in drawing certain assets.” You swung your backpack over your shoulder, waiting for him to lead you out of the room. 

“I can help you. If you would like.” He gave you a kind smile. 

“You don't have to, Jinnie.” You told him softly. 

“It's okay.” He told you one last time. “We can practice with each other?”

Your eyebrows raised and a blush began to settle on your cheeks. “Sure.”

You were getting your sketch pad ready as Hyunjin did the same on the floor of your living room. You had explained to him that it would be best to just do it in an open space in order to catch everything about the natural body. 

While getting ready Hyunjin asked you why you were scared of drawing people nude. “It's not that I can't draw them, it's just that—I want to be able to capture the perfect image of someone's body.” You explained to him. 

“How so?” He questioned, turning to face you. 

“Everyone is so unique and pretty in their own way.” You sighed. “I know it's just for a grade but it intimidates me to not get someone perfectly.”

“You see people the way you see them.” Hyunjin placed his sketch pad down, getting up before helping you come to a stand. “What someone might see as imperfect you will see as beautiful.” He told you.

“You can paint someone any which way and to the person you have painted it won't look like them. Allow me to paint you.” He asked. 

“Hyunjin—” You tried to cover the blush that ran through your body. 

“Please?” He whispered, coming closer to you. “Just so you can see how I see you.”

The warmth spread through your being as he stared down at you with an intense look. 

“Okay.” You whispered to him. 

He gave you a reassuring smile, taking your hand to calm you down. As he turned you around, your breathing was turning shallow as anticipation creeped into your skin. His hands skimmed down to the hem of your shirt, his fingers teasing your skin as he slowly began to bring it up and over your head. 

He continued on his movements, snapping the clasp of your bra off and allowing it to fall from your body. You gasped quietly, quickly moving to cover up. He didn’t make you take your arms away, instead he only pulled you closer to his chest, his breath hitting the shell of your ear. 

“I’m not going to do something you don’t want.” He told you. “If you want me to stop I will respect your wishes.”

You took a few breaths in before shaking your head. “No.” You whispered out. 

You felt him nod slowly over your shoulder before he continued. He went for your pants next, pinkie dipping into the waistband before the rest of his fingers followed. The fell over your hips, pulling further down as his hands skimmed over your thighs. You could feel the goosebumps forming on your skin from how slow he had been going making sure you felt everything he was doing. 

Once everything was completely off of you, you waited for him to tell you what to do next. “You can lay down now.” He whispered to you. “I’ll show you what you look like to me.”

And so you laid down on the couch, you knee bent to cover up your core while your nipples were stiffed to peaks. As you dropped your head back and faced the ceiling, you flinched when hyunjin came back to you. 

“I’m going to move you.” He told you. 

You gave him a nod, allowing him to touch you. He made you drop your arm off the couch and crossed your ankles.  His fingers skimmed over the inside of your thigh, his breath hitching. If you had thought you were the only one being teased, it seemed he was struggling as well. 

With his other hand, he moved it under your back, making you arch up from his touch. His breath fanned over your chest, making your breath hitch. Hyunjin closed his eyes for a moment, trying to recollect himself. 

“I’ll try to be as quick as possible.” He whispered, his tone breathy. 

You tried to keep your back arched as much as you could, but sometimes you would fall back down. However Hyunjin didn’t try to argue with you about it, he knew you would return to the original position eventually. 

He was having trouble as well though. It seemed to prove much more difficult each time you would wither on the couch as your nerves were on fire from his eyes. There was a point where Hyunjin had to tell himself to finish first and then he could do what he wanted. And as he erased the last bits your body that would make it perfect, he slammed the sektch book down and quickly stood up. 

“Hyunjin-” You were cut off as the man attached his lips to yours hungrily. 

His cold hands found themselves pushing into your ribs, his thumb brushing against your nipple as the other held him up by the arm of the couch. When he was pulling back, you were quick to follow, raising up. He didn’t let you get far though as he quickly placed one leg over your waist and pushed you back down. 

“You have no idea how it is I see you.” He whispered against your lips. “But maybe this can help you.”

He took your hand and quickly placed it on his bulge. You swallowed as your mouth became dry, tongue licking at your lips. 

“Hyunjin.” You whispered. 

“What do you want?’ He asked you. 

“I want you.” You answered breathlessly. 

“You have me.”

He quickly unzipped his pants, shoving them down to allow his cock free. He huffed out from the pressure that left him, feeling better. He placed your knees under his arms, leaning forward as his length fell between your lips. You gasped out at the heat, feeling the stretch from the position. 

He took off his shirt quickly, placing a hand on his length as he lined himself up. He dragged it along your slit for a few moments, allowing himself to close his eyes at the wetness between your legs. 

And when you began to whine, he shoved himself forward. You cried out, placing your hands on his shoulders to hold onto something. He groaned deeply at how you clenched around him for a moment. His pants were close to your ear as he leaned forward and put you into a mating press. His knee was digging into the couch while his other leg was planted on the floor. 

“Just look at me, baby.” He breathed against your lips. 

Your eyes opened halfway taking in the sight of the sweat that was beginning to form on his forehead. When his hips began to move forward all you could think about were his movements and his name. 

“Hyunjin.” You cried out, throat going dry. 

“I know, baby.” He huffed out. “I know.”

Your high was approaching quickly as his hips were suddenly angled upwards, hitting that sweet spot within you. You began to cry out this time, grunting from the pressure. Hyunjin groaned out and his eyes rolled to the back of his head as you clenched tightly around him. 

He began to huff and leaned away from your body as you orgasm fell from you and his cock began to tighten up. He was quick to pull out, mouth hung wide open as he let go of himself onto your stomach fingers moving to keep you stuffed as you rode out your own orgasm. 

With the way you looked all fucked out and with his seed painted on you, Hyunjin suddenly felt a bout of energy. He reached over to grab his sketchbook, causing you to look at him confused as you were still withering a bit. 

“You look even better with me all over you.”

Tags : @cultofdionysusnet , @sandsofire , @k-vanity

[urfriendlylocalidiot]

Welcome to my first angst reaction post (this is really shit ik)

Warning: yn is an asshole in basically all of these

blackpink x reader

Dispatch w/ Blackpink

Dispatch leaks your relationship with your partner, this is the aftermath.

Jisoo

You guys tried to stay together, you really did. But eventually it just got to be too much. At first when the relationship got leaked, Jisoo promised that she would try to protect you as much as she could from her fans. And she did, when you were with her. If anything, it seemed to strengthen your relationship, you learned to rely on each other even more. You were each other’s rock during this process.

However, it all came crashing down when fans began harassing you wherever you went, even if you weren’t with Jisoo. At first it was just a few stolen pictures, which was a massive invasion of your privacy. You and Jisoo hoped that, that would be it. You could handle stolen pictures and even the hate comments.

Eventually though, the sasaengs found where you lived, after they followed you home one day. Of course, you called the police and they ran away. This was your ending point though. You just couldn’t stay in a relationship with Jisoo, if it meant your literal safety would be in danger. The next time you see Jisoo, after the basic pleasantries, you both state at the same time, “we need to break up.” Her reasoning was management.

Jennie

Jennie would beat herself up about getting caught. And of course you would be there to comfort her. Her management wants her to breakup with you as soon as possible. However you ask her if she truly wants to breakup with you, shaking her head, you two decide to continue dating. Despite all the difficulties, the hate does die down pretty quickly. And you guys don’t go in public together, ever.

Which was fine with you, since you were a homebody anyways. Jennie would still get nervous from time to time, reading comments on vlive. You are always there to support her and tell her that you don’t care what other people think about your relationship.

You love her and she loves you, and that’s the way things were going to be, no matter what strangers said. Hearing this would make her feel better, however, usually afterwards you would still have to hold Jennie as she falls asleep.

Rosé

She would fight for you. Because who really cares what other people say about your relationship? Despite management (and millions of netizens) insisting that you guys end things. She still stayed by your side, she was just what you needed during this time. However, after your relationship got leaked, it did force you to realize just how different you and Rosé were.

And unfortunately that lead to the realization of, you have to end things. It was a long and painful argument, but eventually Rosé respected your decision. You left her apartment with tears running down both of your faces. Away from your light.

Rosé was absolutely heartbroken. She couldn’t believe that you had really broken up with her, sure you guys had your disagreements, but it seems like this problem was a little too big for both of you. Not knowing what else to do she wrote a song for you. When she releases it, it was a big hit not only because it’s Rosé but because it also confirmed your breakup. Unknowingly to her, your heart breaks every time you listen to it, but it’s still your most played song.

Lisa

She couldn’t believe it. It was her worst nightmare. You, her great love, were now getting hate because of her. She would constantly compliment and whisper sweet nothing to you. Of course, you assured it was alright, most of the comments were online and pretty easy to ignore.

Until, they weren’t, inevitably you guys went out together and you had to hear comments aloud about how you didn’t deserve her, how they were going to kill you, and other insults. Although you put on a brave face. It did get to be a lot. She didn’t want to lose you. Especially not over this. She loved you.

However when some sasaengs find your friends and family’s social medias and leave hate comments and death threats. You decide to call it off. Truth be told, the death threats scared you the most, you weren’t entirely sure if they were all fake. Lisa would cry, a lot, but she would understand.