#which lets be real is a lot easier to achieve than finding someone willing to stick around and provide any comfort at all when im upset

[phagodyke]

it's the way everyone has to have a fucking opinion on it when it's literally a completely neutral personal decision not a judgement of anyone else or anything at all can everyone stop projecting on me and leave me alone I'm tired

wanted to go to the gym social tn but as I was getting my stuff together to go out, a friend said smth that rly pissed me off and now I'm too fucking angry to go out. fucks sake man

[dreamingdarklyblog]

<And for the part she can't read>

<And now, i'd like to talk about some of the methodology of the bedrock stuff i've been pushing into her brain, the slow creeping stuff that is probably the real heat for you deviants out there.>

<The first thing I worked on, and that has been a consistent theme since I started working with her, has been edging and general masturbation habits. The reality is I find that mind control fetishists make better subjects when they are horny. There are diminishing returns at the end of the day, but the more you can keep someone horny and on edge, the easier it is to work with them. When I started with her, masturbation was an every once in a while event, and edging was not something she ever did. Now I have her chasing that dragon, trying to stay horny and enjoy herself a lot more often, which makes my job that much easier. She's gone from maybe masturbating every other day to edging and trying to cum at least 2-3 times a day even if she's busy, and a lot more if she isn't busy. As most of you have probably gathered, i'm a hedonist, so this really just puts her more in line with how I feel life should be lived anyways.>

<Paradoxically, while i'm working hard on getting her to be more in touch with her sexuality and playing with herself even when alone, i'm also utilizing the carrot of orgasms being a lot more fun and fulfilling with me than they are on her own. This is an area where the stick is really not advisable, I find it's better to just turn the dial up so to speak and let nature take its course. Here we are a few months later, and she's starting to admit that she'd rather just wait to cum with me than do it on her own. It's not a natural process I want to push too hard, she has to be self-sufficient, but the idea that there is that little extra carrot at the end of the stick when dealing with me is just another chink in the psychological armor that I can use. Get someone horny enough and dangle a super orgasm in front of their face and you can get them to believe a lot of things.>

<She's also a private person. A VERY private person. Which clashes a lot with this blog, because this blog basically requires her to be open about her sexuality in a way that she often finds deeply uncomfortable. I've directly questioned her a few times on if she wants to continue, and she does, because she also finds it hot to share, but fights herself over it as well. A real catch-22. I've been working on wearing down her sense of shame and embarrassment when talking about these topics, but it's a really slow process for anything that isn't just a temporary change. I suspect this is one of those topics that i'll be waging a war against for the entire time we play together.>

<Those are the three bigger "meta" things i've been working on with her as a subject. On paper it may not sound like a lot, but keep in mind the human mind, even when a willing subject, is stubborn as fuck when it comes to habitual changes. I'm actually quite proud of both her and myself with what we've been able to achieve so far. It's been a fun ride that I hope doesn't end anytime soon. For those that may want to help in those goals, my only request is this: Continue to give her positive outside reinforcement. It makes a real difference when people share and talk positively about what she's sharing, or encouraging her to rub her pussy more, or even that cumming on her own is kinda dull. Hearing it from multiple angles helps solidify the new behaviors a lot, very similar to throwing someone into a new culture and letting them adapt as they mingle. I freely admit that @pavlovsbimbo has probably been a true asset in this regard so far, and hope others will as well.>

[zodiactalks]

INTERESTING FACTS ABOUT PISCES ZODIAC SIGN

Sensitive, creative, gentle, and nurturing, Pisces are one of the most easy-going signs of the Zodiac, as well as one of the most loyal.

Enthusiastic and loving, it's easy to assume they're just as they appear, but Pisces can be far more profound than people give them credit for.

Don't believe us? Check out the following facts.

#1. They look harmless, but they have a wild side.

And they're not afraid to show it!

Pisces may look sweet and even downright shy, but they're up for anything and can be adrenaline junkies.

#2. They want to make their loved ones happy.

Pisces are happy when their loved ones are happy, as simple as that.

They're even capable of sacrificing their comfort and desires in favor of ensuring those they love don't suffer.

#3. They're big dreamers.

Pisces are always dreaming.

They dream about the lives they wish they have, about the world they want to live in, about the partners they wish they had, etc.

Sometimes, it seems like they live more in their head than in the real world.

#4. They're not as soft as they appear.

Though their kindness and gentle temperament may make them seem soft, or even downright weak, Pisces individuals have a steel core that lets them face even the most difficult situations.

Don't mistake their kindness for weakness, or else, you run the risk of getting a very nasty surprise.

#5. Pisces are loyal to a fault.

Pisces is one of the most loyal zodiac signs out there, capable of doing crazy things for others, and willing to sacrifice anything for the ones they love.

As long as they feel like you have their back, they'll have yours.

#6. A betrayed Pisces will never forgive.

Though they can be incredibly loyal, once you betray a Pisces trust, there's no going back. You've lost their confidence, and their loyalty, forever.

Pisces aren't good at letting go, and you better believe they can hold on to grudges for decades.

#7. They can make friends in seconds.

Their outgoing and relaxed personalities make Pisces into people magnets, capable of making friends even in the strangest of places.

Many of those friendships won't last for more than a day, others might last for a lifetime, but they all were struck in a single day, often with Pisces taking the lead and approaching first.

#8. No one understands Pisces.

No, not even themselves.

They're fickle, idealists, excitable, and a little naïve. They also tend to overthink everything and flip flop between relying on people's opinions and doing everything by themselves.

It's best to simply accept them as they are and not try to understand them.

#9. They don't expect much from people.

Pisces tend to accept people just like they are, and they don't have lofty expectations of others, which makes it easier for them to get along with just about anyone.

However, you need to keep it real with Pisces and not pretend to be someone else. Pisces can tolerate a lot of things, but they won't stand for deceit.

#10. Words matter.

While some zodiac signs can bounce back from insults and harsh jokes, Pisces tend to take them to heart.

Words matter a lot to them, and though they do have a sense of humor, it's best to avoid being too harsh with what you say to Pisces.

#11. They can inspire anyone except themselves.

Pisces are great at hyping others and advising them to use their talents and chase after their dreams; however, they struggle to apply that same logic to themselves.

Part of it is that they second-guess themselves repeatedly; part of it is that they have high standards for their own behavior.

Regardless of the reason, Pisces can be great cheerleaders, just don't expect them to use that energy on themselves.

#12. They're very compassionate.

One of their best traits, by far, Pisces can be very compassionated and helpful, thanks to their tremendous capacity or empathy and their idealism.

Pisces are always trying to help others and will go out of their way to achieve this.

#13. They're great at reading people.

Though they still believe in giving everyone a chance, Pisces are fantastic at reading people and can often identify lies and deceit without even trying to.

Sometimes, they even manage to do it without being aware of it.

They're great observers and can predict all kinds of behaviors, which gives them an edge when manipulating others.

Luckily, Pisces don’t like manipulation.

#14. They love the arts.

Whether they're artists themselves or not is irrelevant, the truth of the matter is that Pisces often love the arts and enjoy spending their time admiring other people's creativity.

Music, theater, painting, sculpture, you name it, chances are Pisces has not only an opinion on each one but also a favorite artist.

Even Pisces with no artistic talent of their own tend to have good taste, which they reflect by decorating their homes with art pieces and sculptures and following the latest interior design trends.

#15. They have an excellent sense of humor.

Pisces can always laugh at themselves and find something humorous about almost any situation they find themselves in.

They like using humor to defuse tensions, like entertaining others, and are happiest when they're making other people laugh and have fun.

Just remember that Pisces tend to take insults to heart, so if you want to joke around with them, it helps not to call them names.

#16. They're very observant.

Pisces are capable of noticing things other people miss, no matter how small or insignificant.

They're very observant and capable of noticing tiny details, which probably helps them with their remarkable intuition.

However, they tend to keep their observation to themselves rather than share them freely, so it's easy to miss just how observant they can be.

#17. They love love.

Pisces loves love, loves loving others, and loves being loved. Love means everything to them.

They often struggle when they're not in a relationship, and are always looking for ways to show their appreciation to those they love.

It's essential for Pisces to feel loved back, and if they don't, that can cause a lot of strain in their relationships, romantic, familial, or platonic.

#18. They're adaptable.

A trait shared by most water signs, Pisces can adapt to new and difficult situations with little to no fuss.

Sure, they might resent the changes at first and might try to avoid them, but when push comes to shove, they'll be one of the first to adapt to their new situation.

This trait enables them to make friends easily, as they're capable of accepting other people's personalities and quirks without a hitch.

[socially-awkward-skeleton]

OC asks II answered

1.  What are your OC’s best and worst qualities? What  do they think are their best and worst qualities?

Best quality - her altruism. Ava has the ability to show great kindness in someone's hour of need. She wants to help people. It's why she became a doctor, it's her goal in Halcyon.

Worst quality -major confidence issues. On the outside she is charming and flirty and confident in herself. But deep down she questions herself and her choices constantly. She doesn’t have a great deal of faith or belief in herself, so she puts on a brave face at first but then finds her footing the longer she is in Halcyon.

2.  Is there a meaning behind their name, or a particular reason why they have it? (either in the story, or why you as the author decided to give them their name)

Ava's name has several possible meanings: Its roots could be from the Germanic word aval, meaning "guarantee." In Latin, avis means "bird, birdlike." The name Ava might also be another version of Eve or Eva, which comes from the Hebrew name Havva (from the word hayya) meaning "life, lively."

I honestly just chose the name Ava because I thought it sounded pretty.

3.  What does their voice sound like, in a couple of words? (ie soft, scratchy, seductive, high-pitched, etc)

answered here

4.  Do they have any underlying motivations? (ie they seem hard-working but secretly just don’t want to fall back into poverty, etc)

answered here

5.  Does their fashion sense reflect an aspect of their personality? (ie bright and colorful outfits symbolizing that they’re an upbeat person)

Ava likes to wear black, her style would generally be considered alternative, with grunge aesthetics leaning towards goth in some cases. She likes to stand out in the crowd and if having lavender hair wasn't enough, her choice of clothing seals the deal.

6.  Do they have any tattoos? What are they, and why did they get them?

No tattoos on Ava. Not that she wouldn't get one, she just never had the time or interest on Earth and tattoos aren't really a thing in Halcyon.

7.  What is their biggest insecurity?

That the people she loves will leave her. She has a lot of walls to guard herself from people hurting her, so she worries if she let's people in too close she will get hurt. She worries that when people get to know the real her they won't want to stick around.

8.  What is their coping mechanism?

Ava is nothing if not guarded, building walls up for herself helped her survive during her childhood. Learning to rely on herself and trusting only herself made it easier to deal with being abandoned as a child.

9.  What is their main love language? (gifts, quality time, acts of service, physical touch, words of affirmation)

answered here

10.  What is their MBTI type?

ENTJ-A (The Commander)

Commanders are natural-born leaders. People with this personality type embody the gifts of charisma and confidence, and project authority in a way that draws crowds together behind a common goal. However, Commanders are also characterized by an often ruthless level of rationality, using their drive, determination and sharp minds to achieve whatever end they’ve set for themselves.

11.  What kind of person are they most compatible with? (platonic or romantic)

ENTJ’s are most compatible with INTPs (The Thinker).

Ava personally does well with people who are intellectual, who are able to debate her, who can keep up with her keen mind. She also needs someone who is willing to take the time to break down the walls she’s built and who will be there to listen to her for those odd times when she finally does let her thoughts and emotions come out.

12.  How do they feel about romantic relationships?  Are they into casual flings or more serious, long-term romances? Or are they uninterested?

Back on Earth all of Ava's romances were fleeting. Most were one night stands, many didn't last longer than a month. Ava doesn't believe she's deserving of love and has no idea how to maintain a stable loving relationship.

In Halcyon, she has a bit of a wandering eye before her and Max let their feelings be known. Once they are together though she’s very much smitten with him and as far as she’s concerned nobody else compares.

13.  What are their views on marriage? If they want to get married, what would their dream wedding be like?

Ava never thought she'd get married, not until she and Max really got serious. Though it would never be possible until Halcyon was fixed.

Ava’s dream wedding would be something shared with only her closest friends and family. She’s not the type to have 50+ guests, its going to be an intimate affair. She also won’t fork over tons of cash and be extravagant about it, she’s too practical for that. She’s only going to wear the dress once, she’s not going to break the bank.

14.  How is their relationship with their family? Which family member are they closest to?

Ava's relationship with her parents is non-existent. She was neglected for much of her childhood as she was the last child to be born and her parents never wanted a fourth child. As soon as they could send her away they did. She was sent to a boarding school at 9 and after being abandoned there, never heard from them again. They died when she was 12 in a car accident.

Her brothers are the only family she really loves and cares for. They helped raise her. Stephen her eldest brother is the closest thing to a father she has. Elias is the youngest of the three brothers and was the only one to be raised by their parents as he didn't have the smarts to cut it for the boarding school. William is the brother she is closest to. He is kind and gentle and has never looked down on her for the things she has done or choices she has made in life. He understood better than the other two that she was treated differently.

15.  Has their personality changed at all since they were a child? Why?

As a child Ava was raised with the mentality of only to speak when spoken to and that children should be seen and not heard. Her parents showed no interest in her and she was considered a burden on the family. Due to that, she was often very quiet and withdrawn. She put her focus all on her schoolwork to try and win her parents love through success.

In the years after her parents died, Ava was still at the boarding school while going through puberty. She was quick to catch on that she had a pretty face and that boys were interested in her. This resulted in her learning that the easiest way to get attention and for someone to seemingly “care” for her was through her looks and so she quickly started to learn how to flirt and charm. She broke out of her shell and became far more extroverted and wore a mask of confidence.

16.  How do other characters in the story view them?

Generally, Ava is seen as a good captain. She cares about her crew and proves that their needs are important to her as well. She easily makes allies who are willing to help her after she did so much for them. Even the Board for a time is willing to tolerate her as she travels across Halcyon.

Parvati sees Ava as a good friend, they get along easily and Ava is generally much softer and kinder around Parvati as she reminds Ava of her brother William.

Felix starts out having a crush on Ava, she’s fun and fearless and pretty but then of course he susses out that Ava and the vicar are clearly circling each other. He moves past his crush and becomes friends with her, ultimately getting taken under Ava’s wing.

Nyoka respects Ava a great deal, she understands why Ava is the way she is, family is hard. Nyoka sees Ava as a strong leader and as a good friend who went out of her way to help her tie up her own loose ends on Monarch.

Ellie and Ava don't always see eye to eye. She respects Ava and the fact that she went through all the medical school training much the same way she did, but she also doesn't understand Ava’s altruistic side. By the end, Ellie softens up quite a bit, but she would still never admit that she may have learned to be a little kinder thanks to Ava.

Max and Ava have the closest relationship on the Unreliable. He sees her as a friend, a confidante, and also his love. From the first moment he met her he was drawn in, but what really won him over was her smarts and her wit. Few people could match his sarcasm and he was glad to have her as a debating partner. He respects her greatly for the things she did during her time as his captain and also for what she does to save Halcyon. He respects her kind heart and her generous spirit, he also cares deeply for the side of her that has had to fight for so long, who had to build up the walls she used to protect herself. She is chaos and he adores her for it.

17.  How many hours of sleep does your OC get on average?

Ava doesn’t run on much sleep at all, usually 4 to 5 hours max a night. 130-6 would be her optimum sleeping time.

18.  Where do they see themself in ten years?

answered here

19.  If they had a theme song, what would it be?

Working for the Knife - Mitski

20.  What AU would they belong in the best?

For aesthetics alone probably a modern day rock band AU.

[bug-the-chicken-nug]

So, I couldn't find much else on this post about like. How to actually go about alternatives beyond "just suck it up and do it"

So I'll try, as someone who will admit that they used Gen AI in the last few months, but also does write all of their public fics without it, has been writing fics on their own for years before it, and has now gone back to distancing themself from AI. First, elephant in the room: It *did* get less approachable to RP with real people, and it *is* really hard to be brave enough to do it. Having to rely so much on Discord nowadays really *does* feel like a big step backwards. I also feel it's reductive to blame this specific phenomenon on AI. To me, it feels like AI is just well-timed to capitalize on a decline that was in motion regardless. And realistically, your most approachable friends usually don't share *ALL* your interests. Sometimes an idea being weird or uncomfortable ISN'T just in your head, and not just anyone is suitable for it. It really is hard. Of course, hard things can be worth it, but we need to stop downplaying it and being so quick to discard compassion and ignore people's struggles. (and no, compassion doesn't have to mean you just enable them) Otherwise, they're not actually going to stop or really learn anything beyond "well, now i've made them all mad at me, so that's even more reason not to RP, I already ruined it for myself" Like. Anxiety *sucks* at grasping "people won't be mad forever". A lot of the time, it *feels* like "they all still hate you, they just decided to be polite about it" Personally, I still don't really RP, and I'm still afraid of it. But my general approach to hard things is to take a few deep breaths and just take the first step before I can talk myself out of it. Then let yourself feel the discomfort. Let yourself see that it's not going to harm you. Keep breathing. As for writing, I have plenty more experience there, but that's hard too. It's often slow, tedious, thankless, and I've gotten criticism that I would genuinely call traumatic. Again, I don't actually think AI is to blame for perceived reductions in fic engagement, either. People who don't want to read a fic were always going to find *something* to do besides read that fic. IMO, the only real option is to try to reduce your need for attention and approval, and keep in mind that people just naturally aren't in the mood to read fics 24/7. Do your best to calmly let self-doubting thoughts about it pass over you without feeding further into them or taking them as fact. I also feel like we don't really talk about how much harder it is to do things when you get past the age where you were able to confidently be bad. Devoting yourself to something that feels miserable and constantly makes you anxious and scared is extremely difficult. Start small. Aim for short, achievable things. Try to teach yourself that you're capable of *something*, and try to find people who are actually willing to be attentive and supportive. (Which is another thing that's way harder than people on this post keep claiming it is. A Ton of fandoms are tiny and/or mostly dead.) I would suggest starting with posting basic scenarios and ideas rather than actual stories. It gets notes and attention without all the commitment, especially if you keep at it, so then it's much easier to pick out people who'll be interested and supportive in the first place. As for private writing, it's once again the kind of thing that gets easier when you start. I myself often have to sit in the word document with no other distractions for upwards of 45 minutes before I finally feel like I'm able to make actual progress. "Just write a sentence or paragraph every day" flat out doesn't work on me, because I have to invest so much into getting the ball rolling for each session that I *can't* just "pop in" and do a little at a time. And don't be afraid to write out of order or write small snippet scenarios, either. I've lost loads of productivity to being irrationally uncomfortable with writing "out of order", or not writing a "proper" longform story.

[julia-drusilla-xii]

- What if Caligula defeated Apollo and became the new sun god?

- What if Nero managed to convince Meg in betraying Apollo once again?

- What if Commodus managed to destroy the Waystation?

- What if the Triumvirate won the battle against Apollo?

I got extremely carried away since I've thought about this for a long time. Everythings under the cut not only because it turned out to be long, but also so I can warn you that it gets pretty dark.

Caligula defeating Apollo

Medea successfully took Apollo's immortal essence.

With her fancy spellwork, Caligula now has the combined powers of Apollo and Helios.

Ave, Neos Helios!

And history repeats itself- the Triumvirate goes to civil war.

Commodus allies with Caligula

Python switches sides from Nero to Caligula

There was a scene in the book where Python was all "if there's a new sun in the west-" to Nero and that basically implied Python would no longer support Nero if Caligula succeeded.

New Rome would've fallen, either the same way as it did in Tyrant's Tomb or by the sheer power of Caligula and Commodus' army, money, weaponry, you name it (bc tbf they could've won if Rick didn't hold back). And possibly sooner than in the books unless Caligula still wants to slow his arrival and drink his Shirley Temple.

Any survivors are now on Caligula's side.

Meanwhile, Nero's desperate although he's hiding that desperation as much as he can.

Meg's no longer in control of Apollo and MIA over in California.

But, she has the Meliai.

Nero knows the reason Meg and her father ended up in New York. Because Caligula burned their home down. Because of how her father was working on something important and powerful, Caligula viewed that as a threat. He probably knew about the seeds and what they were, same as Caligula.

And Caligula knows that Nero knows.

Meg McCaffrey is the one who can change the odds, even slightly.

Realistically, she'd never want to go back to Nero or help Caligula. But Nero might be able to talk her into his side. She could equally decide to help Camp Half-Blood.

Caligula, Medea, Commodus, Python vs Nero vs CHB

Assuming Caligula is in control of Herophile, Harpocrates, and the Oracle of Cumae, then not only does he still have the power of prophecy but also the communications are still down for the demigods.

No matter how you want to dice it, Caligula wins overall by the sheer amount of power and resources on his side.

What would stop him from ordering to kill Meg on sight, simply firing an onager at camp (and it working bc Octavian isn't there to catapult himself to the sky), and winning against a full-fledged fight against Nero?

Maybe the gods but that's on if they decide to work with Camp Half-Blood to begin with. Rick's characterization via reactions on Apollo's return makes them iffy, but I'd really like to believe they at have a heart for their children, Jason, and Apollo. They stand a good chance if they side together in the end and it shows they actually learned the message of not letting the kids do all the work and appreciating them.

Maybe even the Waystation could help, provided that Commodus doesn't destroy them first.

If Caligula won, then it's just taking out Commodus and Python if he wants sole power.

If he lost, then there's a lot of mourning, the numbers of survivors are small, but there's a new appreciation and a better environment for the demigods.

Meg betraying Apollo

At any point in the series, Nero could have convinced her to betray Apollo but the two more likely times are in the Dark Prophecy- before she escaped to find Apollo and at the end of the book when after everything they've been through together all it took was being back in Nero's environment to get her back into being his pawn.

And as Apollo mentions multiple times in the series, Meg has the power to command him to kill himself. So, it wouldn't end well for Apollo.

If it were the first one, then it would be less emotional and painful on both parties, but it would still hurt.

The only person on Apollo's side from the beginning turned out to be a traitor. He'd have support from his children, but that doesn't change how she helped him.

The only escape from Nero that Meg had was no longer beside her and there was enough convincing to happen to convince Meg it was for the better.

Apollo still has a chance of restoring his immortality, especially if Lityerses became his companion in replacement so Apollo's not alone.

Meg would just be out to get him throughout his trials.

If it were towards the end, it would be more emotional.

Both lose their friend, ally, and their greatest supporter.

Domino effect to Nero's favor. Camp Half-Blood falls first. The rest of New Rome and the Waystation is next. Possibly Olympus if he wanted to go that far but if he doesn't want to push his luck then he still is powerful and the Olympians might be content that at least they are still standing.

Nero gets a swifter rise to power because Caligula and Commodus are already eliminated and Nero has their combined powers.

And Python rules from a backseat.

Ave imperator! Ave Caesar!

Commodus destroys the Waystation

Unlike before, Commodus has proven he could be a threat.

Especially if Apollo never got the chance to blind him.

There isn't much seen with him being someone who plans ahead and willing to just fight without the flashiness so I'm not entirely sure if being the sole ruler is in his favor.

He does, however, turn the tides in either Caligula or Nero's favor depending on who he decided to support. He still is part of the Triumvirate with wealth and resources, regardless of his want to provide a show and have fun.

If he sided with Caligula, then after the demigods and Nero are taken care of, Commodus would be next on Caligula's list.

Same if he sided with Nero.

The only real chance Commodus has of winning big is if he destroyed the Waystation before Apollo destroyed the oracle and if Commodus manages to capture Apollo first.

Apollo and Commodus seem to both at least remember how they were before Apollo drowned him.

Maybe manipulation via that way?

Either way, I can't say much for Commodus so this one's shorter than the rest. I can see anything happening, from him achieving co-emperor at best to still losing everything at worst.

Triumvirate vs Apollo

This one entirely depends on which battle.

Assuming that all the three emperors are alive, then the story changes at the latest in the Tyrant's Tomb. Specifically, Caligula and Commodus are actually still alive despite Frank's sacrifice.

And they show up at the end, weak, but alive.

Because unless you count that picture Rachel got of them in a penthouse that was blurry, there was never a scene where all of them were together which isn't fair. Then again, Rick was the one who invented overpowered emperors in the series so that was probably a conscious decision to make it easier for Apollo.

The soonest would be immediately after The Hidden Oracle, where Nero could supply help to Commodus since he would know that would be Apollo and Meg's destination.

This one would be short because this is an equally open-ended question.

But if they actually helped each other first, things don't look good for Apollo or the demigods.

They might spare the demigods for the specific purpose of ruling over them.

If they continued to share their victory, then their empire is still split three ways.

If they decided to go all civil war, then as the first two triumvirates of Roman history went, the weakest go down first and the main two hash it over a lot of battles.

Caligula would still have Medea, so he has the means of magic.

And Nero would still have Python. Tbh, not sure if that snake even has powers of prophecy. But either way, Python was Nero's ally from the beginning.

I'd say the only thing stopping the triumvirate from complete control is once again, Olympus itself.

Especially if Meg's alive and inspires everyone to avenge Jason and Apollo.

Bonus~

Caligula as the sole emperor includes paranoia that someone betrays him since he was originally killed by his own guards. He might be able to rule the people as well as he did when he first became emperor (back in ancient Rome, the first few months of his rule he was well-loved until he became ill). If anything else, you can count on the yachts being his palace. Incitatus might be by his side because they might part ways since Incitatus wants horses to rule the world in the books. Caligula might renovate New Rome to his liking and upgrade it with his personal wealth.

Commodus as sole emperor involves Commodianapolis and a football stadium where he can host games. A lot of wealth being poured into grandeur, parties, and Commodus' name and likeness everywhere.

Nero as sole emperor means the Imperial Household is there to stay. From what I gather, there are twelve children to replace the twelve Olympians. I don't they're exactly all are children/legacies, but I could be wrong. Either way, Nero has them to help him enforce the rules. He has his tower and he's conveniently near Olympus and Camp Half-blood. He could decide to expand in Manhattan and Long Island.

[depressedhatakekakashi]

Ao3

In My Way

Au: Spy Au

Words: 1931

Rating: Teen

Characters: Hatake Kakashi and Sasori

Warnings: murder, Blood, excessive amounts of Sass. Graphic depictions of violence.

Summary: Kakashi has a job to do, but there’s a familiar face in the crowd that tells him it won’t be as easy as he originally thought.

Get into the party, take out the target, get out without being caught.

The mission was simple. Something that he could do with his eyes closed, except for one small detail.

Sasori.

The deadliest Toxicologist known among every intelligence agency around the world. His work with poisons was revered by every toxicologist, including Anko. Even if she refused to admit it.

His presence at the party, while a welcome sight to Kakashi’s eyes thanks to that beautiful black and the red suit he had chosen to wear, was a hindrance to his mission. Not because Sasori was doing anything to stop him from completing the job.

It was quite the opposite judging by the fact that he had just seen Sasori drop something into his target's glass mere seconds ago.

Their goals were the same, and he’d rather die than allow Sasori to get the pleasure of saying he killed the target.

Making his way through the small crowd, he set his eyes on the phone in his hand. A convenient distraction to use, typing away furiously to an imaginary friend as he collided head-on with the target.

Red wine spilled all down his front, staining the white shirt he had chosen to wear to the party and earning him the ire of his target.

“Would you watch where you’re-” Taking one look at Kakashi, the man cut himself off and immediately changed his demeanour. “Oh, I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize that you were there.”

If Kakashi was a weak-willed man he would find himself easily fooled by the soft tone of voice and the gentle touch of his arm. Thankfully he was trained for this exact situation.

“Sorry,” he laughed awkwardly, wanting his target to lower his guard. “I should have been paying attention. I was just…” His eyes darted down to his phone, a sad look crossing over his face for just a second before he plastered a smile on his face. “Never mind. Are you alright?”

“I’m not the one with red wine spilled down my front,” the target chuckled. “Your shirt is ruined.”

Feeling an arm coming down around his shoulder, Kakashi allowed the other man to turn him around and lead him towards a private table while chatting his ear off about the party and how much effort he had put into making it perfect. Something Kakashi forced himself to smile along with and listen to, even as he kept his eye out for Sasori.

This wasn’t going to be his only attempt, and Kakashi still had information that he needed to get before he could finally take care of the job himself. He just had to keep the man alive long enough to get that information, which meant keeping Sasori from slipping him any poison.

A task that was easier said than done given Sasori’s history.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Getting the target to trust him hadn’t taken long at all. For someone good at manipulating others, the man was just as susceptible to his tactics. Or he was just a sucker for a pretty face, and Kakashi didn’t have a pretty face.

Now he just had to get the man to spill the beans about some of the people he worked with.

“It sounds like a lonely job,” toying with the little umbrella in the drink he had been offered, Kakashi kept an eye out for any sign of Sasori. “Do you at least have any friends to keep you company? Or are you one of those people who thinks he doesn’t need friends?”

His target laughed, one arm resting on the seat behind Kakashi. “Friends are a hindrance in my line of work. I prefer to keep people at a length. Emotions are just another factor in the equation of life that I don’t want to have to deal with.”

A line he had heard far too many times over the years, from enemies and allies alike.

“Well, that just sounds like a lonely life to me,” Leaning forward on the table he forced himself not to cringe or lash out when he felt the man’s fingers playing with the edges of his hair. “No one to keep you company.”

“You could keep me company.” The offer is real, though Kakashi knows it would be only for a night if he were to take him up on it. Not that he needs to. He’s so close to getting what he wants.

Which makes it all the more annoying when he sees a familiar head of blazing red hair walking past acting like nothing is going on as he tips something into their target's drink.

Stubborn shit.

Leaning in a little closer to his target, Kakashi notched the charm up by fifty percent and gave him his best smile. “And what would that involve, hmm?” poking the man in the chest playfully, he chuckled when he was rewarded with a soft grunt. “Come on now. I can’t just jump in without knowing what I’m getting myself into.”

With little distance left between them, Kakashi used the distraction to push his target's glass back just a bit. Not knocking it off of the table, but shoving it right to the edge. Hopefully, his target wouldn’t realize and would take care of the rest for him.

“There’s a lot of things that it involves,” the target's smile sent shivers down Kakashi’s spine, though he kept a neutral expression on his face. “It could involve getting to know each other a bit better, some fun activities in private...” he brought a hand up to cup Kakashi’s cheek, cursing when his elbow collided with the glass of whiskey and sent it toppling over onto the ground.

“Oh,” tilting his head, he smiled when the target looked back at him. “I guess I’m not the only clumsy one tonight.”

Somewhere far away he could just imagine Sasori screaming into a napkin and cursing his name, and just that image gave him the strength he needed to keep flirting with the man in front of him.

He was going to get what he wanted no matter how damn hard Sasori tried to stop him.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Once he had finally gotten the target to start talking it was smooth sailing ahead. It had only taken a couple of drinks until he was just drunk enough to start talking. Three of which had been poisoned at some point by a very determined Sasori, but Kakashi had found a way to get rid of those ones without being too obvious about what he was trying to do,

It was honestly a little tiring. Trying to save his target’s life when he knew that at the end of the night the man would be dead anyway, regardless of if it was Kakashi or Sasori who killed him.

Just a bit more and he’d have everything that he needed.

“It sounds to me like you don’t get along with this guy too much. Why do you keep working with him if he’s causing you so many problems?” he asked innocently as he stirred his drink with the little umbrella.

“Best dealer in the business,” his target laughed bitterly. “Couldn’t find someone better no matter how hard I tried. And trust me, I’ve tried.”

So close. He could almost taste the successful mission.

Which of course was exactly when an interruption arrived in the form of a hand being slammed down on the table between them and furious brown eyes burrowing holes into his very soul.

“Can I help you?” tilting his head he met Sasori’s gaze head-on. This was not a mission he was willing to fail just because the redhead couldn’t take a hint and leave his target alive for five more minutes.

“You have been hogging the cutest guy in this whole party for the past two hours,’ that was not a response he had been expecting. “I get it, you’re adorable. You have a great smile, but you could at least share his attention.”

A great smile?

Folding his hands together Kakashi rested his chin on top of them and gave Sasori that ‘great smile’ that he had mentioned. “Isn’t there someone else you could bother for the attention your daddy never gave you?”

If looks were as deadly as Sasori’s poisons, he would certainly be dead right now. A well-deserved death of course, since the jab was a lot more personal coming from the son of Konoha Intelligence Division’s White fang. After all, anyone who knew Sasori was more than aware of his father’s death.

A death he had met during a mission gone wrong against the White fang.

“You think you’re all that, don’t you?” Sasori looked like he was ready to pounce, and Kakashi didn’t doubt that if he did there would be a poisoned Kunai in his hand. “You’re not even that good looking. I think he could do better.”

Lies.

He was drop-dead gorgeous.

“It sounds to me like someone’s just jealous he couldn’t catch the cute Guy’s attention. You really should lower your standards a little to match up with what’s achievable for you.”

He’s certain Sasori’s actually about to jump over the table and attack him after that one, but their target places a hand on each of their chests to hold them back. A precautionary measure that wouldn’t stop them if they decided to fight.

“Come on you two, there’s no reason to get nasty,” His words are slurred a little from all of the alcohol he has consumed, and the smile on his face is creepy and almost predatory. Just looking at it makes Kakashi shiver. “You don’t have to fight over me. We could always just share. You’re both very…”

No amount of information was worth hearing that sentence finished. Not that he would get the last bit of information that he wanted thanks to Sasori’s little interruption.

And since there was nothing else to be gained, Kakashi didn’t feel bad about unsheathing his hidden knife and plunging it into the man’s neck at the same time as Sasori.

It was messy, disgusting, definitely drew more attention than he would have liked, and yet oh so satisfying to finally put an end to that aggravating nails on a chalkboard voice.

“You ruined my mission,” He narrowed his eyes towards Sasori, sour that he hadn’t gotten all of the information that he had wanted. “You couldn’t have just waited another five minutes, could you?”

“And let you get a perfect mission while I've been cursing your name for the past two hours every time you managed to dump his drink or get rid of the poisoned donut even though I know you didn’t see me put it there? Not a chance.”

Donut? He hadn’t realized that the donut he had handed off to one of the man’s bodyguards to distract them was poisoned. It was a good thing the man had wrapped it up in a napkin and tucked it away in his pocket for later.

“Well, you got what you wanted,” scanning the area, he growled when he saw that everyone in the room had turned to look at them. “Anyways, congratulations on the kill. Hope your bosses are happy, don’t call me and I won’t call you.”

Planting his hands on the table, Kakashi heaved himself over it and made a run for the nearest window, praying that Rin had been paying attention the whole time and was on her way in to pick him up.

The quicker he got out of here, the less likely he was to have to deal with Sasori’s bruised ego.

[slowlyreadinghouseofmirth]

Page 7

In truth, he had never liked her as well as at that moment -> Selden's affections here are plain to see, made so especially by subordinate clause 'in truth' which conveys an honesty and freshness about his feelings. Most importantly, he likes her when she is being her true self, unconventional, and willing to take risk. It's likely informed by his disillusion with high society and finding commonality in someone willing to disregard its etiquette. This is where Lily is unique.

There's also this sense that Selden likes Lily because she is impulsive and this sparks his curiosity to try and understand why she does the things she does-- understand Lily as a person.

He knew she had accepted without afterthought: -> This reaffirms Lily's lack of hesitancy, which alludes to how willing she is to be in Selden's company. It also shows how comfortable she is with him as she is aware of the rumours that could occur but never merits them with being a possibility, showing great trust.

Alternatively, being aware of the risks and having not afterthoughts could suggest that she doesn't fully understand the risks' depth and nuance as in future the situation at Monte Carlo would suggest, but I'm getting ahead of myself.

he could never be a factor in her calculations -> there's a colon that separates this clause from the previous one which suggests this is an explanation for Lily's certainty. To me this would point more towards Lily not really associating the risk of rumours with Selden because she trusts him so much. i.e she does not think of him when she thinks of the risks. But given that they are going up to his apartment it seems strange that Selden would not think himself a factor in her decision. It's therefore possible that he thinks that Lily does not think of him worthy of great consideration.

Also the noun 'calculations' would suggest a lot of thought had gone into the decision where it was previously implied it was one of impulse. This seems like Selden thinks that Lily is playing an intricate game, which further demonstrates his curiosity about her and need to understand her.

there was a surprise, a refreshment almost, in the spontenaity of her consent -> This further contrasts Selden's perception of Lily's 'calculations' and I think the narration is a fine weave between objective reality--where Lily is impulsive-- and Selden's subjective perceptions-- where Lily appears impulsive but there is something more complex informing her decisions. I think this is meant to show that Selden is blinded somewhat by his affections for Lily, seeing things deeper than what are there or what everybody else sees. Alternatively, we as the reader lack Selden's sight into the complexities of Lily and so she is introduced to us as other people see her, which isn't well at all, and we have to learn how Selden sees her. It's a challenge to care for Lily as he does.

The spontaneity invokes a light hearted and refreshing feeling of being in love which mirrors the honest of truth mentioned earlier.

So there's Selden's surprise at Lily being so spontaneous which draws back to a previous point about she is unique for being impulsive almost reckless. It's like we get a sense of her character and her environment from how the two are at odds with each other. Lily is impulsive; noone else of her class should be like that. In a way that makes her free from the system and yet shows her struggle against it but ultimately her struggle will be more defining.

She noticed the letters and notes heaped on the table -> I assume that this is a reference to future letters although I don't know if they would be the same ones. If they were, I don't even have the mental capacity to unpack that. Just the thought that Lily's fall is inevitable, that even when she is happy, having a nice time, an unknown omen lurks within the same room that will bring her sorrow... oh its symbolic, for sure. But I don't want to think about it.

Lily sank into one of the shabby leather chairs -> the verb 'sank' shows how at home Lily really is with this kind of surroundings, how the shabby whilst not fashionable or expensive, is comfortable. From this we and the the pile of letters we get an image of a a slightly disorderly but well-lived in home. This is one of the tragedies where we see the possibility of what her future with Selden could look like where it is unconventional but Lily is comfortable at home even with it.

"How delicious to have a place like this all to oneself! What a miserable thing it is to be a woman," -> I love Lily's exaggerated turns of phrases like 'delicious' and the exclamations; I think Wharton's emphasis on these exaggerations is to capture Lily's innocence through her speech by making it similar to that of a child who is easily excitable.

Again with the exaggeration but this time with 'miserable', we get the sense that Lily has found the world difficult as a woman to live in but miserable seems too strong of a word, certainly at this stage in the book and is sort of hidden within her other hyperbolised expressions. Maybe this creates a kind of cry-wolf situation where, when Lily properly starts to struggle, people don't take notice not only because it wasn't the done thing to do to talk about struggles but also because of her melodramatic personality, everyone thought the same stuff was happening as it had before and Lily was making a big fuss over nothing.

There is repetition of 'miserable' in association to being of female sex further down the page which is another example of Lily's melodrama. But at this point we as a modern audience start to question if she is actually alright (or at least I did). I'm not sure if a contempary audience if the time would have given the strict taboo over discussing any kind of struggle financial/physical health etc. let alone the discussion of mental health. From the impression I get of the time, the only real source of outlet for people struggling with mental health beyond self medication was art, which makes me wonder as to the position Wharton is writing this from.

she leaned back in a luxury of discontent -> The juxtaposition of 'luxury' and 'discontent' raises an important theme that wealth does not equate happiness and that Lily is not happy as a socialite but happy in the company of Selden, and that actually money is the source of Lily's unhappiness. In this specific context, she is lamenting her lack of freedom to live the lifestyle that Selden does.

"Even women," he said "Have been know to enjoy the privaledges of a flat." -> Putting the discourse marker directly after the subject of 'women' breaks it apart from the rest of the sentence and emphasises the extraordinariness of women being able to live independently. But it also raises the possibility of it and suggests that Selden thinks Lily is extraordinary and unconventional enough to achieve the possibility if she chose to.

"Oh governesses– or widows. But not girls– not poor, miserable, marriageable girls!" -> Again we have the breakdown of womanhood into distinct classes like governess, widows, and girls,which creates the idea that there's no intersections between any of them and is a reflection of of societies fixation for categorisation which loses sight the complexity of situations and problems. And it also makes it easier to place social stigmas like those on governesses and widows. Those stigmas are made apparent here but in contrast to how Lily describes girls, being a governess or a widow seems desirable.

In the list of adjectives 'poor, miserable, marriageable', marriageable is equated to these other adjectives and we see that Lily associates marriage with a poverty of kind, of the heart.

It's also interesting that Lily talks about herself as a girl where Selden speaks of her as a woman. Lily plays up her innocence as she has probably been taught to to make desirable marital match, but with that Lily carries around an air of immaturity and naïvity; she's still very child-like. Perhaps that's a part of her that's trying to cling to her youth so she doesn't have to face her future where she will need to marry to survive. Lily sees her adulthood as a constraint on her and her desires whereas Selden sees her potential.

"you mean Gerty Farish," she smiled a little unkindly. "But I said marriageable–" -> Okay so definitely a little tone deaf on Lily's part buts she's honest to a fault and her honesty is refreshing and entertaining.

I'm no expect on autism and don't claim to be but there's something about Lily's mannerisms here that reminds me of people who I know and am very close with who are autistic. And it makes me wonder if Lily was autistic and neurodivergence was recognised in her time if her fate would have been any different.

"Her cook does the washing and her food tastes if soup. I should hate that you know." -> I just love the imagery of the first sentence, it strikes my funnybone. I guess it also illustrates that Lily's privileged upbringing if she thinks this is a bad situation to live in.

Okay I'm going to bring in a bit of a technical term to describe the verb 'should'. So it's a modal verb (expressing possibility based on context) but specifically a deontic modal verbal, meaning that Lily's hate depends on social rules. When she says she should hate it it implies that society wants her to hate it but she wouldn't necessarily hate it. That's what that verb phrase implies in today's english, but language has changed since the time it was written so it may not have been written with this meaning, especially as a signifier of an older text is the use of modal verbs in places we wouldn't today and a lot more of them.

The shift from Selden's reflections to the quick dialogue and short simple sentences of action creates a lively and charged atmosphere that feels almost flirtatious in its rhythm but by the nature of the content is more domestic (preparing afternoon tea). The balanced turn taking feels comfortable in that they both have equal power in the conversation, being allowed to say what they want to and being listened to. It goes towards simulating what a possible future could be and also shows how happy they are in this moment.

[worldwidemochiguy]

Reticence (soft! Yandere Hoseok)

Summary: You were always terrified of getting kidnapped when you were younger, and now that you’ve been taken by a man who claims to want to take care of you, you recede within yourself so far you refuse to even eat... but Hoseok is determined to let nothing hurt you, not even yourself.

Warnings: Kidnapping, kind of Stockholm syndrome, mentions of not eating so if you’re sensitive to that kind of stuff pls be careful <3 Yandere behaviour, though I am kind of romanticising it in this fic, please remember that that is all it is: Fiction. Obviously in real life this behaviour would be unacceptable and horrifying. 

Word Count: 2.2K

Masterlist :)

a/n: my first hobi fic!!! this is for @kpopgirlbtssvt​ from a request made about a billion years ago (sorry :/ ) for made-for-each-other verse! Yandere Hobi with a shy reader who wouldn’t talk even though he begged her to, and then him coming home from work to her telling him she missed him and was glad he was home. this was a lil less fluffy and a lil more angsty than i intended, but its still a ‘happy ending’ bc im a weak bitch with simple pleasures, what can i say lmao

Reticence

“What do you want for breakfast, sunshine?” 

Silence. 

Hoseok sighed, then straightened up again, walking over to the refrigerator. You remained sat by the kitchen island, empty gaze fixed on the marble countertop. 

“Omelettes it is, then!” He exclaimed with artificial excitement, trying to be cheery in the face of your taciturnity, but even the sunshiney optimist that was Hoseok was finding it more difficult than he expected. He had hoped that by now you would’ve accepted him, but you remained as quiet and unresponsive as the day he brought you home. Not that you thought of it as ‘home’ yet, but he hoped you would eventually. Hoseok was not a patient man, but he was willing to wait forever for you. 

You didn’t even blink when he set the plate down in front of you. It didn’t seem like you were going to attempt to eat it either. Hoseok sighed. He could understand if you didn’t want to talk to him yet — even though it had been months and he’d been nothing but kind to you — but he drew the line at refusing to eat. 

You had lost weight. The cute cheeks he loved to watch bunch up as you smiled were now sunken. Your beautiful figure which he had admired from afar was starting to become worryingly waif-like. Hoseok frowned, a crinkle between his brows forming for the first time as his usually exuberant features warped with agitation.

“Listen, Y/n-” Hoseok sat down at the kitchen island across from you, bracing his forearms against the table and leaning forwards. “You have to eat. I promise there’s nothing in it that could hurt you. Look, I’ll even eat it myself!” Hoseok carved out a small piece of the omelette and popped it in his mouth, exaggerating his chewing and swallowing. “See?” You offered no reaction, and Hoseok felt his disappointment join the omelette on its way down to his stomach. 

“I can understand that you maybe aren’t so happy with me right now, but that doesn’t mean you have to punish yourself. Just, please, please stop shutting me out.” His pleading tone did nothing to move you. You just sat there like a ghost, and a groan of frustration slipped out of Hoseok. 

“Please! I’m begging you! Just eat! I don’t understand, all I want to do is take care of you! All I want to do is love you, why won’t you accept me? Why won’t you even talk to me?” 

The only sound was Hoseok’s harsh breaths after his outburst. If he couldn’t see the slow rise and fall of your chest, Hoseok would think you weren’t alive at all. He slumped in his seat, allowing himself to wallow in self-pity for a moment, before forcing himself to get up and ready for work. When he passed through the kitchen again on his way out the door you were still sitting there, staring at the countertop. 

The front door banged shut, the sound echoing in the apartment. Then, silence. And then, very quietly, the noises of cutlery moving against a plate and chewing. 

~~~~~~

“I don’t know what to do~” Hoseok whined, his head buried in his hands. Around him, his shocked friends were gathered in an informal circle. Each of them had an expression with varying degrees of surprise and confusion — they had never seen Hoseok, the literal personification of sunshine, so dismayed. 

“It’ll be ok, Hoseok. I know it’s bad at the moment, but you just have to wait until she trusts you. Once you achieve her trust, you’ll both be the happiest you’ve ever been.” Taehyung reassured him. Taehyung was obviously the source of authority, since him and his wife were basically the perfect couple. 

“But what if she never trusts me?” Hoseok fretted, before groaning again. “She won’t even eat! I don’t know what to do, I’m just watching her slowly starve in front of me and she won’t even look at me!” The rest of the group paused as they digested this new information. It seemed this girl was particularly stubborn.

“Force feed her then.” Jin shrugged and Hoseok’s head shot up in outrage.

“No! I could never hurt her like that!”

“You’re hurting her by letting her starve.” Jeongguk pointed out, and Namjoon smacked the back of his head, chastising. Meanwhile, Hoseok looked like he was about to cry.

“Listen, Hoseok, are you sure this girl is the one?” Jimin questioned, bracing his clasped hands on his knees. 

“I know she is.” Hoseok replied with a conviction he rarely used. “The second she came into my life, it was like I was born again and she was the first thing I saw. The only thing I could see. Her face- God, it just… glows. She’s like sunshine. She’s an angel. She’s so beautiful and kind and fragile and I want to protect her from everything, and I don’t deserve her but no one else does either and I know we’re meant to be together. If I thought I could’ve let her go, I would have. But I can’t. I have to have her, she has to be mine.” 

The circle of men was quiet for a second, before a quiet chuckle broke the silence. 

“Well then,” Yoongi rasped, “if she’s all that you say she is-”

“She is.” Hoseok interjected fiercely.

“Then all you can do is have a little patience.”

~~~~~~~~~~

It was incredibly boring being kidnapped. Especially when your kidnapper did nothing interesting except make bad food and dance along to music from the TV surprisingly well and cry sometimes when you wouldn’t look at him. Frankly, it would have been easier if he were more of the torturey-type, because it was really hard to stay stubborn in the face of his sparkling eyes and radiant smile.

When you were younger, there was a poster up on the wall of your homeroom at school. On it was an old man with an ugly sneer and a beige trench-coat, with the slogan ‘DON’T TALK TO STRANGERS’ superimposed in glaring red letters. You used to stare up at the poster and wonder how anyone could be so stupid as to talk to someone who looked like that. 

You were never afraid to yell ‘STRANGER DANGER’ at the highest decibel your little lungs could manage whenever a person brushed too close to you in the mall. It was almost a habit — you were avidly fixated on your own personal safety, much to your mother’s chagrin and public embarrassment. Being banned from all the surrounding stores within a 20 mile radius had two consequences:

You had to drive forty minutes for a new pair of socks.

You stayed at home a lot more than you went out.

You became a homebody, and it was certainly not something you were unhappy about. Staying safe in your room meant there was less risk for someone to kidnap you. The comforting layer of your blanket was a shield from everything bad in the world. When your parents were arguing constantly, screaming at each other every other night, you would just tuck yourself in and read a bedtime story on your own since they were both occupied. When your parents eventually divorced, you buried yourself under your duvet rather than answer their questions about who you wanted to stay with, and what your preference was. When your mom died in a car crash, and your dad started drinking, your mattress was the shoulder you could cry on, your blanket was a warm arm holding you close. You had always felt safe in your bed. Perhaps that was why you were having such an averse reaction to being taken from it.

Hoseok was not a man with an ugly sneer and a trench coat. He had an impeccable sense of style, and his smile was breathtaking on the few occasions that it appeared. You more often saw his face twisted into a pained grimace. For a kidnapper, he was awfully sensitive. You were pretty sure it was reasonable for you to be holding grudge, and it’s not as if you were actively fighting against him or anything. You were just refusing to acknowledge him. You were highly skilled at repressing things, or ignoring them, and you were resolved to do the same now. 

By 7 o’ clock, your resolve was slightly eroded. Hoseok always arrived back at half-past 5 on the dot. He was a very punctual person, and you felt an unwelcome sense of worry curl along the edges of your mind as the clock counted away the seconds of him not being there. You remembered feeling the same way when you waited for your mom to pick you up from your dads, watching the clock hand sweep past the numbers, increasingly taunting. Of course, you hadn’t realised that she was at the time caught in between a lorry with a drunk driver and a very steep incline. You wondered if you were being similarly clueless now. 

When the door clicked open at quarter to 9, you had to restrain yourself from exhaling in relief. Hoseok came in looking slightly disheveled, his collar undone and his hair mussed as if he had ran his hands through it over and over again. He gave you a quick once over to see if you were alright, shot you a small, forced smile and then went straight to his bedroom, shutting the door behind him.

That was odd. He never closed the door to his bedroom. He had always left it open in case you needed anything, despite your refusal to acknowledge him. First, his late arrival and now yet another uncommon action? You felt curiosity bubble within you. That was it. Curiosity. It’s not that you were at all worried about him, you were just being nosy. Of course. 

You tiptoed towards the door, tracing a finger around the door frame lightly. What if he didn’t even come out again for dinner? You doubted he had dined out without you, he had been eating his meals sitting across from you while you refused to touch yours since the day he stole you. You really should check on him, if only for the fact that if he dies then you’re trapped here with a high chance of starvation.

Before you could convince yourself not to, you opened the door and stepped inside. The only light-source came from the moonlight filtering through the window, casting Hoseok’s form lying on the bed in a deep blue. His eyes, which you assumed had been closed previously, shot open to observe you as he propped himself up on the backs of his forearms.

“Y/n.” He rasped, and a pleasant shiver ran down your spine. “D-do you need anything?” His tone was both excited and confused, probably because you had literally never directly interacted with him before. 

You didn’t speak, and for the first time your silence was due to speechlessness, rather than a conscious desire.

“I-I, uh,” You stuttered, and Hoseok sat up ramrod straight, hearing your voice for the first time. “You… were late home.”

Hoseok felt like he couldn’t breathe. Your voice was so soft and pretty, fuck, and you were actually looking at him, you were actually talking to him, holy shit- and you called the apartment home. You said he was late ‘home’. Hoseok somehow managed to keep his shit together. 

“I was?”

“Yes.” You confirmed with a small nod of your head. Fuck, you were so cute. “You normally come back at half five. It’s almost nine now.”

“I’m sorry. I was working late.” He was staying at the office because he felt guilty for not taking proper care of you and wanted to avoid seeing the proof of your unhappiness, but you didn’t need to know that. 

“It’s ok.”

You remained standing at the foot of the bed, locked in his gaze. The bed looked so comfortable, moulding to support his body, and his warm body was exactly the comforting presence you were searching for all those years ago and you found yourself asking,

“Can I sleep in the bed with you?” 

It was a quiet, timid suggestion but Hoseok reacted to it like a bombshell. His eyes practically popped out of their sockets and his entire body tensed. You were about to rescind your offer when he reached out a tugged a corner of the blanket down, welcoming you into the warmth. 

You awkwardly sat on the edge of the mattress, nudging off your house slippers with your toes before slipping under the covers. The relief was instantaneous, shrouded in comforting and familiar warmth, and you couldn’t stop yourself from plastering yourself against his side, arm reaching out tentatively to rest on his chest. You felt his muscles jump under your touch, before his arm slid under you and tucked around your shoulders, drawing you into him closer. You closed your eyes, letting out a quiet little sigh, and you let yourself say the words you wish you could’ve said all those years ago when your mother never returned.

“I’m glad you’re home. I missed you.” 

[themoonsings]

hi y’all! my name’s blue and this is my good sis luna! you can find some info on her below! 

luna song was spotted in the fashion district adorning red bottoms , with some airpod pros on . they’re most likely listening to love me 4 me by rina sawayama . you may know them as @lunasong or as that rosé lookalike . their twenty-third birthday just passed . while living in tribeca , they’ve gained a bit of a reputation . they’re known to be ruthless but on the other hand captivating . wonder if they’ll be the next person to hit the headlines . [ ciswoman / she/her + blue / 24 / she/her ]

she’s 2nd gen & gave her parents gave her a korean name mainly to appease their parents and one in english. her korean name is ae-cha while her english name is luna. pretty much everyone calls/has always called her luna except her grandparents and sometimes her fanbase in korea.

she grew up in one of the boroughs and her family was middle class.

grew up knowing/speaking korean and english.

she had three best friends growing up, and they did practically everything together. they were in their tweens when luna got the idea that they should start a girl group, like so many that they always listened and looked up to and her friends readily agreed. 

they were still young so people didn’t take them seriously at first, much to a 12-year-old luna’s chagrin. but they were actually pretty good. in the beginning they didn’t know how to read sheet music super well yet and mostly did covers so luna would help with figuring out which parts each of them would sing and scheduling rehearsals, even pestering classmates into getting them gigs. (sidenote: luna’s group/bandmates are a wanted connection and on the main if you wanna know a little bit more you can click here! I’d love to have some/all of her groupmate spots filled!)

her parents were always super supportive of the group and were driving them to competitions, auditions, etc. luna was driven and annoying as hell in the way she pestered all these grown ass adults and even recording labels into trying to hear them/let them in to no avail. 

it wasnt until luna was 16 (about seven years ago) that they were able to actually get signed to a record label. at first no one took them seriously and no one wanted to sign them because people insisted that girl groups didn’t do well, didn’t last long, that people didn’t like them, etc. and there was a lot of back and forth over creative differences, as by that point the girls wrote their own music. 

BUT, their debut album actually did surprisingly well and better than even their management expected. soon they were having their music videos features on disney channel tv breaks, playing on the radio, getting lots of views on youtube. they were everywhere and people seemed to like the “realness” of their story--it made for good interviews and whatnot. 

they continued on like that, dropping three more albums which broke records, lead to worldwide tours, won grammys, lead them to several tv cameos, and even their own movie (think spice world but like better/funner plot, although still not super serious cinema) and documentary. they’re absolutely HUGE now, think peak destiny’s child type shit. they had their own reality tv show at one point, perfume, and even a make-up line with different shades and colors to match each girl’s “personality”. 

the aspects of their personality were played up a little bit to make them more marketable, i.e. one was the more “sporty” one, one was more “free-spirited”, etc. and how they’re styled usually reflects that, although now that they’re pretty established and older, they’ve been able to kind of be less characterized and more themselves. 

luna’s personality was always kind of the diva/primadonna meets relatable girl next door type role. basically she was just always dressed usually very hyper-feminine and has always publicly been considered/seen as kind of the “leader” of the group. 

that doesn’t come from nowhere because she’s very driven. she’s work hard play hard but you gotta tear her away from her email account enough for her to play hard. she’s nice and friendly but can be kind of intense. her biggest fear is not growing into her full potential. 

she knows how to play basic guitar and piano but her two main talents are her singing and ability to harmonize and understand different parts of music and her lyricism. 

can definitely be a drama queen at times. 

very adamant about using her platform to speak up for things when she can. her and her group faced a lot of hardships and discrimination within the industry because they were made up of a group of young women of color and she wants to make it easier for others to achieve their dreams, even if they weren’t born famous or rich. 

can definitely be judgement and bossy at times but will also 100% be there for you and supportive of you when you need her. 

she’s bisexual but the media hasn’t really caught wind of that yet. in the past, her management was adamant that she hide it but now it’s a thing where even if she is spotted with a girl, it’s very “just gals being pals” type headlines that usually come from it. 

she’s smart about her image and pretty much everything she does can make headlines. she’s usually pretty good about keeping her shit in line. she’s had advantageous relationships, both for pr and forreal and she’s something of a trendsetter in a lot of cases. luna dates someone and they’re hollywoods hottest couple, luna wears something and suddenly everyone on instagram is wearing it too. 

does a lot of philanthropy and likes to travel whenever she can. 

she’s friendly and open but don’t piss her off or stand in her way or be on some bs ‘cause she’s helped her and her girls fight their way to the top and she can be ruthless to her enemies, though only when she absolutely has to be. she probably has a little too much fight in her for her own good. 

constantly rumors of her going solo. her and her bandmates have an understanding where they’re chill with doing some individual work (i.e. releasing a single, doing a movie or tv show, starting their own fashion line, etc.) because they know the group’s more important and they’re always coming back to it but luna lately has been kind of worried they’re going to split up and she doesn’t want them to because they’re basically like sisters to her at this point since they grew up together. 

admittedly, luna does want to release her own solo album and she has been brought other projects but the group comes first and they’re working on their fifth studio album together. 

can probably find her working late or running off in the middle of something because she suddenly gets an idea. she also carries this cute lil notebook around with her for jotting down ideas and yes she could technically use her phone but she likes the tangibility of physically writing stuff down.

she always grew up in a house that was very much a home--always open to other people and her parents always willing to bring in food and entertain for the holidays, etc. and that’s how she likes her place now. she’s made her house just how she likes it and the door’s always open if you need someplace to crash for the night and no matter the hour, she’ll put the kettle on, whip up or order some food, and get the guest room ready. 

that’s luna! i’m working on a connections/wanted connections page now but in the meantime, my messages are open to plot or if you like this i can come to u!

[rpbetter]

Is it okay to vent? I've been modding an rp group with friends and recently, I really haven't felt like things have been fair? Everything feels like it's swinging in favor towards a particular character of a person made recently mod and I hate it. It's also like there are several people very quiet in the group now and I've made like observations that might be concerning and brought it up, but no one seems to listen to me? I'm honestly just wishing I could care less right now bc while the original mod group was a group of friends, I'm struggling with feeling apart of it now and torn between going radio silence or forcing myself to expend effort more in hopes I'll actually feel like I have friends again.

Any time, Anon!

That is definitely an uncool situation right there, I'm sorry that's happening. If it makes you feel any better, I'm very sure that a lot of others understand too well what you're going through. I know I do! I wish I knew what the solid answer was to the entire, far too prevalent issue with RP groups failing for such reasons is, as well as this too frequently happening in any group of mods of anything, but I don't think there is just one answer that can be applied.

More specifically, though...to be painfully honest with you? The only thing here you can control is yourself. I know the suggestion should be a redundant and assumptive "have you tried talking to them more directly, you probably weren't direct enough" but lol you literally said you have brought this up and I don't feel like any number of times rehashing the way in which you've done so is going to make them listen. I'm not advising you to not try that, but I am advising you to not expect different results - only do that if it's going to help you move on. (Like, feeling a sense of well, I tried my best and they are not in a place to care, so, I'm done.)

I sincerely wish there was a way to just not feel things, not care about things, especially when you logically know it probably shouldn't dig at you as badly as it is! If anyone out there finds a secret to this, we're all dying to know, please share! But what you can do is slowly detach from the situation, and I think this might be best.

I know it was a friend group, I know how badly this hurts and how unfair it is...how it sort of changes the landscape of your RP time, too. I think, even if we do not consciously realize it, it's a goal most of us have to establish a good friend group we RP with, just like we establish friend groups in games. We feel so much more comfortable with this group of people we can enjoy all aspects of RP with, because let's face it, it can be a kind of odd thing to discuss with other people if they do not RP, even in a fandom. We also tend to develop our muses and our writing with our friends, naturally. So, achieving that only to lose it is tough, and it's tough no matter how many times it happens to you.

However, I really meant it when I said I don't think they're in a place to listen. Obviously, I'm not there in your RP group, I'm not seeing what is going on, I'm not hanging out with your friends (I mean? Probably? lol the RPC can be vast yet so tiny), but going off of what you've said and what I've experienced, that's really what I feel here. People have a simple tendency, in all group situations, to not be ready to see something as a problem until it's well past being easily addressed. Trying to force it into their field of vision is likely to make them angry and to see them more obstinately ignoring it.

Some reasons for that are not wanting to argue/fear of ruining things, genuinely being oblivious to the issue, enjoying the factors that are an issue for others, and favoritism. These are not things you can change. All you can do, as far as trying to address it again, is to figure out which of these/which combination is going on with the person in the group most likely to listen to you so that you can better talk to them. Whether you agree with them or not, understanding where someone is coming from is helpful to speaking with them. You can better phrase things so they're not triggering negative emotions.

For example, let's say you feel like it's a combination of this hypothetical one friend enjoying what is making others upset (let us say that this new member writes something with their muse they enjoy) and that it's become favoritism because of this and/or other factors (they're the one who brought them into the group, they were already a friend). Okay, so, now you have an idea of what you can say that won't prod at any feelings of accusation, jealousy, or even their own guilt.

Instead of: "Listen, I know x is your favorite person and you will always choose them over everyone else, but this is a real problem and I need you to hear me about it."

Try: "Hey, I'm needing to talk to you because I feel like this is such a serious issue. I've tried to discuss it with the entire group, but I've not been listened to and I know the group RP is as important to you as it is to me. I really enjoy x as well, they do y great and they're so z, but the way that the focus of the group has swung entirely to their character is a big problem for many in the group. If you've noticed, the activity of several others has dropped off. People feel they're not being listened to and that their characters and bits in the storyline aren't of equal importance anymore. What do you think we can do about this?"

Right out of the gate, you're expressing that you know they like this other person, but you don't dislike them or anything, you dislike what has happened in the situation. You've also given them the (correct) impression that this is endangering the RP, and that they are someone you feel is both interested and reasonable enough to want to fix the problem.

Again, do not expect that it's going to change anything, but if it'd make you feel better to try one more time, do it.

The problem so often with being a mod, even among a friend group who are also mods, is that moderators are very often set up only to act in the event of such extreme drama that the others won't want to deal with it. As a mod, you feel (again, correctly) that it's your job to...you know, moderate. That doesn't just mean disputes, it also means pre-dispute situations like this, among other things. However, the actual top moderator complaint is always that they're not listened to unless it's a problem that has kind of imploded the group. The kind of problem the rest of the group doesn't want to resolve for fear of seeming to play favorites or, frankly, fear of looking like a bitch. This is absolutely something that will put devastating cracks into the RP group, but since it isn't crumbling it rapidly yet...they'd probably rather that you just ignore it. Then, are rather likely to either drop the RP or want you to resolve it magically because you're the one who brought it up way back when it fixable.

So, we're back to "it's not a problem you can fix or control despite your position" yes.

And we can go back to what you can do to mitigate your own upset somewhat, also, yes. :D

There's this whole thing about ripping off the bandaid that just isn't applicable to all situations. (It isn't even applicable to all literal injury situations, damn.) This is one of them for a lot of people. Slowly distancing yourself so you can start putting energy into things that will return your investment of time, creativity, friendship might be better for you than just abruptly going radio silent, or even more drastically, leaving.

Don't engage with the group RP as often or in as timely a manner, be less of a presence there. It's difficult at first, but see, when you feel the drive to be there, you then use it for something else. If you have other RPs outside of this, reply to one of them instead. If you don't, start seeking out new partners/RPs instead. You have other RPs but they all owe you right now? Not a problem, do some character development. Whatever keeps you from spending as much time there.

As you do this, it's much easier to not be there. Just drop in to do what you have to. It becomes difficult, eventually, to be bothered to do so, I promise. A lot of other things you did not like that you were tolerating because these are your friends and this is something you enjoy, they'll become obnoxiously obvious. You know what else either will or won't? Them missing you being there.

If they do miss your presence and friendship, that's great! That's the best outcome. It might put into sharper perspective how bad the issue was, they might be more willing to address the problem now, make it a dedicated effort to not show that kind of attention to just one member's character/one member.

If they do not, then that does very much hurt. This is, unfortunately, how many friendships in the RPC decline. Not heated arguments, but rather, quiet inattention and replacement. If this happens, I'm so sorry, Anon. I can say all day long the total truth of the matter, that it wasn't the best group for friendship longevity and you can at least take the memories and lessons with you, but it won't stop it from stinging. However, because you have started to make other things your priority, it does lessen the upset.

Either way, this is a really frustrating situation! I think you've kind of answered what you need to do just in the phrasing here, "I'm struggling with feeling apart of it now and torn between going radio silence or forcing myself to expend effort more in hopes I'll actually feel like I have friends again." When we start feeling like have to force ourselves to expend more effort out of desperation to feel friendship like we once did, that's not a situation we should stay in. Sometimes, we just need to vent about it and see it pointed out to us to realize it, you know? Because it is hard to lose our friends and comfort zones, even when they've soured.

Maybe trial run slow distancing, just responding to the people who also feel like they're being left out, perhaps? Until the situation improves or you feel like you can move on easier. Nothing about this is going to be painless, but you can at least insulate yourself a bit while leaving the ball visibly in their court - I expressed this was a problem, it was ignored and is an ongoing problem, so, I'm not as invested anymore and it is up to you now to stay on that track or demonstrate some changes.

I hope that whatever happens, it's good for you! Even if it feels awful for a while, I hope it's eventually great. Maybe it's the thing you need to find an even better group, you never know until happens! I also hope that my delay in response didn't make things worse for you, please know I've felt really guilty about it despite not being able to get online :| I know just being seen at the moment you're feeling so frustrated and down helps so much!

[whetstonefires]

Thank you so, so, so much for that Tony Stark post. Because, yes, exactly you hit the nail on the head: he is not personally controllable with legislation and he is definitely suffering from guilt and self recrimination but that DOES NOT MEAN you get to hurt others. He is painful to watch. I've never seen anyone articulate it so well, thank you. I ended up writing an essay in my notes just agreeing with you a lot because he cannot use his pain as an excuse for the scale of damage he does.

Where is the essay nonny??? I cannot find it. Show meeeeee.

💖 Thank you for the positivity! Ngl it’s always scary criticizing a popular character, you never know what’s going to happen.

I’ve tried a lot of times to respond to this ask without going on another tirade, but they keep building up, especially whenever I see someone tearing Steve down to build Tony up, and I go from zero to a full head of steam so fast.

I’ve avoided engaging about it, but it fucks me up so bad every time, it’s crazy.

Because I didn’t think I was all that attached to Cap, I don’t even really consider myself a fan, but he. Right up until that unintentionally appalling ending they derailed his character into, he worked so hard to be good.

He doesn’t want to kill anyone, but he doesn’t like bullies.

He spent his entire life under conditions of extreme suffering, and unlike Tony he refused to let it warp him into something vicious and selfish that lashed out at others to comfort himself--or rather, he bound himself with adamantine chains to make sure that when he used violence, even as a coping mechanism, it was only ever against people more powerful than him, individually or in aggregate, who were doing something harmful he could interfere against, and who had the freedom to walk away.

Tony never bothered with any of that. He doesn’t have to. No one expects anything of him, in his life or ours; our standards are in the basement and we’re super willing to identify with him, so even the manifestation of the awareness that he did something wrong is cheered like heroism. He expects ‘points’ for remembering there was a connection between Pepper and strawberries, even if she’s allergic and he thought they were her favorite, and he gets them.

All he has to do is turn away from being his worst self, no matter how many times he completes that rotation a full 360 degrees, and we’ll cheer for him.

Which is a great character design strategy! Honestly! Except they walked it into the ground.

Tony was introduced as someone learning to be better, but then he wound up getting worse and worse and worse. His redemption arc derailed really early, because Marvel Studios were lazy or afraid or didn’t trust their audience, idk.

He sacrificed so many people to his own gaping emotional wound, that hungry maw of egotism turned Byronic and recharacterized as heroism, as goodness or at least its sketch.

Jumping on the grenade is so much easier than reining yourself in every minute, not abusing your power, respecting the lives and needs of others and treating them as real.

Nothing Tony ever achieved moved the dial away from his narcissism, and very little of it did anything about the toxicity of how he inhabited that narcissism. And a heroic death would be nothing in the face of his personal crimes even if it had been one that was a little more rationally necessary, and not one that took several hours of movie and the contrived failure of every other person in the setting to even be possible or relevant.

(And even if you’re willing to hang onto suspension of disbelief and pretend that dropping 3.5  billion refugees into a world that just barely patched itself together in the face of 50% mortality somehow isn’t going to result in a staggering death toll.)

Unlike Vader, Tony Stark died as he lived, and so the death means much, much less.

With great power comes great responsibility, and with his billions Tony was always the most powerful Avenger, because Thor never took his throne when it was still tall and golden and untouchable. And he spat on that principle every day of his life.

And when people act like his ‘suffering’ somehow justifies that, it’s like every single piece of the warped rich-white-confident-male-centric empathy gap of our culture leaping into life and strangling all ethical rationality and justice. I just.

I know it’s just superheroes. I know it’s not serious. Except superheroes and cinema are mainstays of our shared cultural sense of right and wrong. The Violence Against Women Act exists purely because of the shift in public perception created by one movie about one real woman.

So when a massive superhero film franchise has a moral narrative that I find repulsive, and I see that reasoning echoed out in the world, it feels important.

I am attached to Steve, small angry starving Steve looking Death in the face every day he drew breath and refusing to blink, but I think what’s making me so damn mad when I see this insistence on tearing him down to prop up a mass murderer is the proof that even Captain America, who is white and male and tall and beautiful and romantically interested in women, who ticks all these boxes that help when it comes to Mattering, still doesn’t have enough Real Person Points to stand up against the absolute certainty in a billionaire’s heart that he is the only real person in the universe, that his self-pity is the truest sorrow that ever was.

Not in Tony’s eyes, and not when it comes to our willingness as a society to inexplicably believe him.

[lesbiancarat]

Lol its fine!! Reply whenever you can ^_^

But ahh true, true. Idk why I thought it would be a hint to the music lol but a sort og an evolution of the concept so to speak. Either way, am excited for the comeback because fresh svt is always iconic. Oohhh the concept photos are all pretty and idk which one to pick jfkshfjsjd. Like they are all very on brand for them but also unique and pretty. Very artsy haha.

Ahh yes, rabbitnwas forever iconic and it was what helped other places like discord to do similar things! But ah understandable!! Both seventeen and nct (when I was getting into kpop more) always felt like BIG well known groups due to their fandoms being so big at least to me. Especially when people always recommended their songs i just assumed they have been around for a while like bts when I joined only to realize they are still rookies. Monster rookies indeed!! The fact so many people love them is enough for me to say they are amazing, well respected and loved by many. Those comments annoy me, especially when people downplay their hard work by claiming 'bighit helped them get more famous' like what!? Yes bighit did help with getting more western attention per se but like downplaying as if they haven't achieved anything at all is confusing to me. Claiming how streaming fans aren't doing s good job to which im like one, mass streaming isn't healthy and two, fans who do try their best and we do beat records of our own. Seventeen isn't unpopular, just because they aren't you know who level doesn't mean they aren't big like do people forget what unpopular means?

Anywhoo, a day late but happy late birthday to our tiger King. May he forever rule the tiger land and take over the world with his tiger agenda lol.

yes! one side fits my aesthetic the best but all the concept photos were nice ^^

and yeah it is annoying but at the same time those people are so detached from reality that I'm just sort of like whatever djflgj like 'it's obvious to anyone who knows what they're talking about you're wrong so I'm not going to bother arguing w you' is sort of my mindset when i see those comments dhfkj bc if i don't think of it that way then i get angry easily. the way i see it bh/hybe definitely is helping SVT with western promotions but like. i don't think SVT/pledis would have been incapable of expanding into the western market on their own if they wanted to. but it's a given that it will be easier and faster with hybe bc they have connections and a reputation in the western market already established. honestly I'd guess that was one of pledis's main incentives for agreeing to the acquisition. but at the same time hybe and western media wouldn't give SVT the time of day if they truly were the flops some ppl try to claim they are lol

and yeah agreed, streaming culture can be super unhealthy. it's one thing to do it if you want to but at the same time don't be losing sleep over it or prioritizing it over your real life responsibilities. and definitely don't guilt trip and say a bunch of toxic things to others to get them to stream... i feel like it would be a lot healthier if fanbases just stuck to simply explaining, hey this is what streaming is and why it can be important (for like music shows etc) and here's how to do it properly if you choose to stream, and then just let people decide for themselves. there would still be people more than willing to do it, and without the guilt tripping maybe even more people would just find it enjoyable. but hey, what do i know? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

i also think most kpop stans underestimate how many views from from casual listeners and fans vs hardcore fans/streamers. like streaming does make a difference, but not 100M views difference like some people try to act like it does. tbh there are a lot of groups that have a smaller core fanbase than SVT but get hundreds of millions of views bc they have a lot of casual listeners. you can even see it internally too: don't wanna cry is SVTs most viewed MV by a mile, it's the only one to pass 100M views, let alone 200M. and it has nothing to do w carats streaming dwc extra hard, it's bc it's arguably SVTs most well known song outside of the fandom. i see reactors all the time who react to it and say "oh i know this song! i had no idea it was by seventeen" and you can look at the comments section and see a bunch of people saying the song has a fandom of its own/even if you're not a carat you have to know this song

kpop stans also put too much emphasis on views imo and also equate views to popularity, which on the surface might make sense but isn't always the case. actually in terms of profit, groups/companies make the vast majority of their money off of album, merch, and ticket sales than they do off of views. but those are all things that are a lot harder to "sell" than views, because they actually cost money for the consumer, while you can watch an MV for free. hence why it makes sense that there are a lot of groups with hundreds of millions of views that get relatively low album sales. it's easy to convince casual fans and and listeners to watch an MV than to get them to buy something

and I'm not trying to diss other groups at all or try to say groups that consistently get 200M+ views are flops, they're absolutely not. I'm just trying to point out that kpop stans completely underestimate the amount of casual listeners that exist

but this is why SVT is honestly such a fascinating case. their MV views are nothing to write home about, and yet they're the second highest selling k-act at the moment and are in the top 10 if not top 5 highest selling k-acts of all time, their album sales are literally insane. a lot of people chalk it up to carats being bad streamers but like i said before, streaming isn't going to make a difference of hundreds of millions of views. this indicates to me that seventeen have a bigger core fanbase (ie people who call themselves carats and actually keep track of seventeens activities) but a smaller audience of casual listeners compare to other kpop groups. and i think a lot of people, carats, and non carats alike, pick up on this in some way or another but don't realize that's what's going on and it manifests in kind of weird ways sometimes

and this fact isn't something that bothers me, i actually think it's super important more than anything for SVT to have a strong core fanbase if what they're shooting for is longevity. but i do find it strange bc as i said, groups that do better with digitals than physical sales make total sense from a consumer standpoint!! so how did SVT end up like this!! it's so interesting for me to think about. i think i would have a better idea of why this is if i had been around since debut but alas

the only thing i can come up with is that SVT is better at retaining fans or like... getting fans invested in the group so people who become carats are less likely to be multistans? bc multistans play a huge part in both being and attracting casual listeners. they're the ones making video compilations and edits and content that includes multiple kpop groups, which is how a lot of non-fans get interested in other groups. whereas if someone is just a carat and making content for SVT the people most likely to watch that content is ppl who are already carats. i know im not the only one that's noticed it's kind of rare for SVT to be included in multistan edits and videos. which i don't blame anyone for, i think most of those people genuinely just don't stan SVT and they shouldn't be expected to include a group they don't know we'll or at all. at the end of the day ppl can make what they like. but it's interesting to observe as a general trend. but idk SVT potentially having a lower percentage of multistans still isn't really an explanation for why SVT doesn't have as many casual listeners bc those things kind of just go hand in hand. like either one could be the cause of the other one if that makes sense

ANYWAY sorry for the long reply but as i said the ratio of SVTs core fanbase vs casual listeners is a topic i find endlessly fascinating dhfmfj

[readingsbylibramc]

birth chart reading for @leah-sletzion

hello! welcome to your reading. I’m gonna give you a quick overview of what I’m going to analyze about your natal chart. feel free to ask me anything if something isn’t clear, of course. you’ll find out your dominants’ influence on your persona, your physical appearance, impression on others and the way you approach the world; your ego, identity, the real you; your reactions, your desires, inner emotions; your way of expressing your feelings, your mind and ideas; your desires and approach to love; your energy tank, instincts and temperament; in-depth analysis of each house with their rulers and analysis of heavy aspects; love life + soulmates/karmic partners interpretation; your relationship with your friends; your family life; your approach to career and work in general + possible jobs suggestion; your style, fashion sense analysis; life purpose and past life description; basic transits’ analysis to describe your current mood and, last but not least, your secret skills, how to make the most out of your soul and manifest what you desire based on your birth chart.

🦋 chart shape, dominants

your chart is a splay shape, meaning that your planets are located randomly in different groups in your chart. people with this type of chart are usually very talented at different things. they can focus their attention on different matters, from family, to work, to love. everything is important for you, and you try to live your life to the fullest. you may be particularly talented at things that require action, it doesn’t matter whether it’s physical or mental. you may be very good at sports, dancing… or maybe you’re good at leading, you could easily be the boss on your work place. since you’re interested in so many things, you could easily be skilled at all of them to be honest. my advice would be to pick the hobby that is most important for you and care about it more than the others. that’s because people with this chart usually tend to do so many things that they may lack precision. it’s better to give all of yourself to what’s important for you.

your dominant planets are the moon, saturn and mercury. you are a very emotional person, you're quite sensitive and you always try to make people feel safe when they're around you. you're also very responsible and smart, you're very mature and probably have leader qualities, you like being in charge and leading people but not in an oppressive way.

your dominant sign is cancer. you seek emotional security in life. you need to feel grounded, you're most likely extremely cautious about the decisions you make. you're also very sensitive and compassionate of others, even though you could get slightly passive from time to time.

your dominant element is water. you're very intuitive and empathetic, you care a lot about others, and you may seem like a healer to people you know. in fact, you always try to help them if you can, almost in a therapeutic way. you're also very spiritual, and you're attracted to anything related to discovering your higher self and soul purpose.

🌎 ascendant in libra, 0° / 1st decan ruled by venus

you're naturally likeable, you have a particular charm to you that makes everyone drool over you. you're very nice and outgoing, you always try to make others feel at ease. you're very considerate of others' feelings. you strive for fairness and justice, it's the way you approach others and the world. basically, you treat others like they treat you: if they're kind with you, you'll be very sweet. otherwise, you'll turn very sarcastic and harsh, almost cold at a certain point. you're very opinionated, you always feel the need to express your thoughts as you're very proud of them. in addition, since you always decide whether something is right or not, you may come off as a know-it-all. on the other hand, you're very sociable and you enjoy being in company, doesn't matter whether you're with your family, friends, lover etc. you may get to know many people throughout your life, but your friendships may not be much stable. you are surrounded by people, but you could feel lonely particularly often. I also need to point out that libra is ruled by venus, the planet of beauty. you're most likely very attractive and magnetic. even if not necessarily conventionally, people find themselves attracted to you. you may have sparkling doe eyes, with also full lips and a defined cupid's bow. your face is more on the longer side, perhaps you have an heart-shaped face, with high cheekbones and a pointy chin. you may also have naturally amazing, fluffy and flowing hair. your body is also very feminine, with a lot of curves and softness to it. it's very romantic, to sum up. also, your hair is probably naturally beautiful; it could be curly, or at least it's very thick and healthy-looking, even if you don't take much care of it.

libra ascendant opposite aries saturn: you may be shy and have self-esteem issues, especially during your early years. because of that, you may often appear as insecure to others, or even unreliable. you have a strong desire to be with someone and commit to them, you despise supertificial bonds, but at the same time you may find yourself being too shy to approach others, especially during your early years. this may apply more to the younger you, actually. you don't feel much comfortable around other people, and others can sense that; your insecurity is exposed to the world, and some may take advantage of that to hurt your feelings. you're afraid of being judged, whether it's for your appearance, or maybe because of your ideals or interests. hence, you end up becoming reserved. this is something that will be solved through growth and time; the older you get, the easier you'll be on yourself. also, thanks to this aspect, you're a responsible person with defined values. to cope with this placement, I'd suggest you to do what makes you feel the best. there are different ways to boost your self-esteem, so maybe you can work on that and then start expressing yourself freely; if you do it without the fear of being judged, you will shine even more.

🌞sun in cancer, 17° / 2nd decan ruled by the moon and pluto

this is the darkest, most intense cancer decan. you’re very vulnerable and sensitive; you may be a crybaby, as crying is a way to vent your emotions. you may even overreact, and be considered too dramatic. you’re extremely moody; you could be all happy and relaxed with your friends, then suddenly you get sad, or even angry. it’s hard to deal with this, especially because your emotions are quite intense. this could make you argue a lot with your peers. even though it takes you a while to find someone willing to stay, when that moment finally comes you’ll embody cancer’s best trait: that is, you’ll become a ‘mother’ to your friends, lover etc. you have a very nurturing soul, you have a knack for affection and care, and you could even get kind of clingy, even though you may feel limitated to give your love to someone else. cancer is a cardinal sign, hence you may be the one to take initiative, yet you do it undirectly. you’re probably the passive-aggressive type, even though this may be mitigated by your impulsive venus-mars conjunction. you’re most likely also quite patient, even though you don’t forgive easily. once someone tries to take advantage of you, it’s over for them.

cancer sun conjunct cancer mercury: you express your ego and identity through your words and ideas. you’re very opinionated and you protect strongly your beliefs. after all, you probably came up with your ideals after thinking deeply about them, you were too precise to be wrong. you’re also probably an avid reader, and you could do well in writing yourself, as you’re able to properly convey your ideals with your words. also, your heavy libra dominance makes you naturally good at writing poetry, or even romance. your mind is very active, and you feel comfortable letting all your thoughts out. it’s actually a way to relieve stress. you also have a wide vocabulary, and you’re capable of making a formal speech if you have to. you have a memorable way of speaking, as your words are very sharp. it’s hard for you to be ignored for your intellect.

cancer sun opposite capricorn jupiter: this is a hard aspect, which could make you feel even more proud of yourself due to your taurus moon. you may feel like the universe is constantly against you; you may feel unlucky, or even overindulge in things you like to cope with sadness or anger. you may have the tendency to overeat, buy useless things etc. you go from having a low self-esteem, to even looking very bossy without even realizing it. you struggle to keep your identity balanced, even though you might have not been aware of it at first. to achieve fortune and joy in life, you need to work hard for it. to do so, you have to learn your karmic lessons in this lifetime, which probably revolve around family issue and their impact on your interactions with others.

🌙 moon in taurus, 10° / 2nd decan ruled by venus and mercury

the moon is exalted in taurus, so it's definitely a good placement! you're very peaceful, you try to avoid conflicts when you can. taurus' most striking feature is that they crave stability, whether it's financial, in love etc. you must be very stubborn, as taurus is a fixed sign, this placement, paired with your imaginative cancer energy, makes you settle on making your ideas concrete, and it's very beneficial. it makes you capable of achieving any goals in your life. you're also very artsy, and you may fancy particular art styles. you have a good eye for aesthetics, and you care a lot about the looks of your house, body, clothes etc. you have excellent concentration, and that is another thing that helps you achieve your goals and make your ideas concrete. last but not least, you're amazingly patient, and that makes you a great friend. probably, they vent a lot of their worries to you, as you're also a great listener.

🗣 mercury in cancer, 15° / 2nd decan ruled by the moon and pluto

you don't really rely on logic. you're very emotionally intelligent, and you take in consideration others' feelings when you speak. even though you may be impulsive and blunt sometimes, you don't do it with malice at all. you may actually feel guilty after you realize that you've hurt someone. you may be sort of manipulative, as you're very observant of others' behaviours. because of that, you may be extremely good at interacting with others, since you know how to speak to people when you don't let your impulsiveness get over you. you know how to persuade others, even though you may not even realize it. if you manage to balance your moon and your mercury, I think it would give you great social skills. you'd be able to stand up for yourself, while also being mindful and conscious of the effect of your words on others. you may get defensive quite easily, and because of that you may become a bit secretive. that's because, deep down, you feel the need to be understood to fully convey and express your emotions. you want to feel at home with your interlocutor, otherwise you'll just be awkward. on the other hand, you have a nice sense of humor, you're able to light up the room with your jokes. your voice may be a bit high-pitched, almost like a child's, but pretty much very gentle as well.

cancer mercury opposite capricorn jupiter: this placement emphasizes your intellect. your mind is so broad that you can come up with different theories and philosphies, making you a sort of genius. you're probably good at memorizing things, and you could even have a photographic memory. yet, with this aspect, you may have troubles being consistent with your ideas. you may overestimate your needs and thoughts; for example, you may promise yourself to get all As in maths, then you get tired and bored and you end up getting Cs. same goes for your handwriting, for example: you may start writing in the best way possible, then you get lazy and end up writing in a sloppy way just to take notes. you also overthink a lot, and that causes you self-esteem issues. on the other hand, you're very open-minded and objective, as you look at the big picture. you'd do very well as a journalist, for example, or perhaps also as a judge of any kind. you may also be naturally skilled at foreign languages, you can mimic accents pretty well. you're probably also very poetic and / or wise, you're like a teacher for your friends.

cancer mercury square aries saturn: this placement gives you limitations and lessons regarding the way you think and talk. it may be that you’re too shy to approach others and to say what you think, so you just don’t try. otherwise, if you actually take action and try to overcome this problem, you could get into troubles. that’s probably caused by the fact that you don’t really pay attention to your words. you’re quite straight-forward and you may be particularly pessimistic, or maybe you lack confidence in social interactions due to these problems, which could be possibly caused by your parents, or perhaps interfer in your relationship with your family. in fact, you may argue quite often, and misunderstandings are also common. this is something that gets naturally better with time, but in order for it to happen you need to take action. you may for example start speaking more in school, perhaps you could apply for class president. anything that allows you to challenge your mind and voice, in order to make you gain experiences and become a master at it. many celebrities, once they mastered this hard aspect, got loads of success. you can do that too, you just need to work on it.

❤️ venus in gemini, 12° / 2nd decan ruled by mercury and venus

this is the flirtiest, most romantic gemini decan, but also the flakiest and most indecisive. your flirting style most probably includes jokes, teasing… stuff like that. even though you may seem flaky, as you like experiencing romance with different types of people, you’re actually quite picky. in fact, in order to fall for someone, you need to feel mentally attracted to them, not just physically. someone ignorant and stubborn that doesn’t care about learning something most definitely isn’t for you. you’re not the type to be super romantic and sweet with your partner or just people in general. you show your affection for example by sending them memes, making ironic jokes about them etc. also, when you’re into someone, you probably get very talkative! you start asking them simple questions about their life, even things like 'did you have lunch?’. also, you talk about them with all of your friends, and you find yourself thinking costantly about them. you’re very curious of nature, but you’re only interested in getting to know what catches your eye.

gemini venus conjunct gemini mars: you are very serious when it comes to love. you seek intense, long-lasting relationships, filled with both romance and passion. ironically, you tend to attract people that are the opposite, who are only looking for fun and casual romance. that could afflict your self-worth significantly, as you feel unlucky in love. this is also another placement that indicates that one of your parents, probably your father, or still anyone of the opposite sex probably influenced your approach to romance and sex. there are different scenarios I have in mind, but I'll talk about it later in the family life section.

☄️ mars in gemini, 19° / 2nd decan ruled by mercury and venus

you’re driven by the sense of intelligence. your intellect is your greatest strenght, it’s your energy tank. you’re interested in a bunch of things, and hence you may have troubles staying focused on one thing at the time. you probably have tons of hobbies, and you may end up not being much precise since you have tons of things that you have and want to do. you can’t stand boredom, you need your day-to-day life to be exciting and, above all, offer you something new to learn and / or experience. you probably fancy being very active: you go out often, you workout, you may also be the type to love partying and things like that. you’re extremely witty and curious, and you want to live your life to the fullest. you may often change your style, your opinions, maybe even your personality, and that could make you seem confusing and / or unreliable.

🏡 houses

your 1st house is in libra. you always try to be kind and friendly with people you don't know; you most likely don’t like conflicts, you prefer avoiding them. you probably care a lot about your appearance, and because of that you could get insecure from time to time. usually, people with libra in their 1st house look for themselves in others, as their chart is basically upside down. the ruler of the 1st house is in the 9th house: you may come off as a very approachable and easy-going person! possibly, people could mistake you for a foreigner, it could be that you have certain characteristics of your appearance that make you look more 'exotic' or just foreign in general.

your 2nd house is in libra. you find beauty and aesthetic in material things; you most probably love clothes, art, music… anything that isn’t exactly a priority in life, but that allows you to express your personal taste, which is very refined. with this placement I’d suggest that you should pursue a career that allows you to express your creativity, as arts and beauty allow you not only to make money, but also to increase your security and confidence. you could also spend money in venusian things like clothes, make-up, decorations and anything that involves beauty and aesthetic. the ruler of the 2nd house is in the 9th house: you may earn money through foreign cultures and languages, hence you could be particularly skilled at them. you may work in a multinational agency, or perhaps as an interpreter or translator. you could also earn through teaching or travelling, so perhaps you may have to move constantly for your job.

your 3rd house is in scorpio. you probably love witty jokes and sarcasm. you’re extremely honest when you think and speak, and most of the times you have no problems expressing your opinions. you could possibly be very good with words and be good at convincing and manipulating others. usually this placement makes someone kind of mischievous when it comes to words, but I think that with all the venus influence in your chart and your well-aspected mercury, you’re able to control this in order not to hurt others. your mind is very deep, you’re probably not really into small talks. you may also love anything that is considered taboo, like astrology, horror, nudity, death… you’re also quite secretive, you’re seen as an enigma. you don’t want to share much about you. last but not least, you value honesty above all. you only speak the truth, and hence you also want it back. you may as well be into conspiracy theories, science and anything that can expose what’s behind the universe, the government etc.

your 4th house is in capricorn, with also your jupiter and neptune placed in this house. I can tell that your childhood was quite complex. not necessarily bad, I don't see any kind of trauma, but you probably had to grow up way sooner than other kids. your parents could have been very hard-working and focused on their jobs, possibly wealthy too. they were very responsible and cared a lot about you, they always made sure you had everything you needed, even though they could have been slightly absent from time to time due to their jobs. people with a capricorn ic usually find something missing in their childhood, they had to deal with responsibilities from a young age. it could even be that you started working when you were still a teen, or maybe you had to take care of the house or of your siblings for them. you weren’t much extroverted, you preferred staying in, drawing, playing games etc. it could also be that one of your parents may be absent; they could be divorced, or in the worst case they might have died when you were pretty young. on the other hand, it could be that you have a complex cultural background to you, perhaps someone from your family is foreign. you might have travelled a lot during your childhood, and you got to make lots of experiences.

your 5th house is in aquarius. you’re extremely creative, your ideas are very innovative, and you may have particular hobbies, interests or taste than others. when you’re able to fully express yourself, you gain full security and you start experimenting and inventing new things. you could be the type to start new fashion trends, music styles, art styles… basically, you’re a creative genius. your hobbies may also involve astrology, as well as human studies like psychology, or also anything that has to do with technology. you may be into videogames for example, tv series, social media… they’re your way to spend your free-time and relax. your relationships may also be very unconventional; you could usually date people online, or perhaps you may have the potential to meet someone through dating apps. they’re quite unstable, they may end out of the blue for example. you may also dedicate yourself to fashion, art, music, etc., anything that stimulates your creativity.

your 6th house is in pisces. in your daily life, you hardly ever have a structured schedule. you go with the flow, you take things as they come. you may often have your head in the clouds, you could get distracted easily and you may literally creative oscar-worthy movies in your head instead of doing what you need to do. your job may involve arts, images, possibly even fame. you should definitely use your creative talents for your possible career. also, you could benefit from helping others; you could be a psychologist or therapist of any kind, a nurse… any place where you’re able to help others. again, you could also help others through your art, hence with your lyrics, books, etc. when it comes to diets, workout routines, skincare routines etc. you could lack consistency, even though your libra energy makes you more motivated to take care of your appearance. you may sleep a lot, it’s easy for you to feel tired and stressed even when you’re not over-working yourself.

your 7th house is in aries, with also saturn conjunct the descendant. love is most likely not your priority in life. you need independence, and you’re able to stand up for yourself on your own. you don’t need someone else to help you. you tend to attract partners in your life that are hot-headed, stubborn, assertive and goal-oriented. they strive to be the best at everything they do, they’re extremely competitive and willing to do anything to achieve their goals. basically, you attract very dominant partners, but you don’t want to be dominated or controlled. you may often experience power struggles between you and your partner, which cause you issues in every relationship you get in. at the same time, you wouldn’t stand someone too submissive either, as you still need someone that would mentally stimulate you. they may actually be quite selfish and self-centered, they’ll care more about their own development rather than that of you two as a couple. an aries 7th house indicates that while you’ll have a very active, passionate spouse, you may also experience lots of arguments and discussions in your marriage life, perhaps even physical violence. saturn here makes things a little bit complicated, though; you’re probably attracted to partners that are older than you, or at least that are very mature. there is a lot of karma surrounding your relationships; a few unsolved issues from past lives may make them challenging. I feel like you probably don’t really date anyone. I assume that you dream of finding your true love, but at the same time you’re also extremely picky with who you date, you have high standards. even though it looks like the safest way, you should actually try to solve these issues. some hardships may arise, but what matters the most is that you learn from them. don’t be afraid to date people, and above all don’t expect every relationship to be good. it’s also recommended to get married after your saturn return with this placement, hence after your 27/28 years.

your 8th house is in aries, with also your moon placed there. generally, people with aries in their 8th house are very confident when it comes to taboo topics; they have no problems showing their interest in them, especially with people they're intimate with. you may also be particularly sensitive to or even tame physical pain. you constantly try to improve yourself by coming up with new projects, you love challenges. they help you growing up into the person you want to become. you may come across some hardships regarding yourself, your identity. but, when you face those fears and start loving yourself, you’ll naturally become more mature and 'transform’. last but not least, this placement can also indicate that you're going to have a painful death. the moon here takes on scorpio qualities; as a result, you’re way more secretive and cautious than most libra people. you tend to preserve yourself, even though it’s hard for you to repress your emotions, as they’re too to intense to bottle them up. you absorb people’s feelings like a sponge, there’s no way that you won’t instantly understand their real emotions. overall, you tend to overreact a lot; you have cancer's sensitive energy on one side and scorpio’s mysterious, almost scary vibe. dealing with these emotional burnouts may be stressing to you, as you totally get caught up in them. even if it looks like you get to know other people often, you actually don’t let others know you. you’re the type of person to talk and socialize, especially after your saturn return, but you never reveal your deepest fears and thoughts to strangers. you only open up to people you’re sure you can trust. when you’re angry, you can literally go as far as using violence; you need to let out your emotions by screaming, swearing… anything that can make you feel better. there’s a secret, sensitive side in you that needs passionate and romantic partners in love. yet, you can’t help but feel more attracted to the ones that may hurt you badly. you’re possibly quite sensitive to higher entities too, like ghosts, spirits and stuff like that.

your 9th house is in taurus, with also your venus and mars sitting there. with this placement, I feel like you may use your intellect to gain financial security and material possessions. while this is a good thing, as it helps increasing your confidence, don’t forget that your intellect is more important than money or any other thing. don’t underestimate it. you’re totally capable of learning and understanding things by yourself, hence don’t wait for others for help. you should start dealing with your own experiences alone, without anybody else’s help. this placement can also be someone a little close-minded; in fact, you're probably very stubborn and firm about your beliefs. you hardly ever allow others to change your mind. with venus here you may be the type that likes making new experiences regarding love, and you often date your crushes. yet, you feel too limited in a relationship. you don't enjoy committing to someone if that someone isn't perfect for you, you're only completely loyal to the one you consider your true love. you can't give up your freedom, your thirst for adventure and experiences for someone else. basically, your ideal partner would be a risk-taker, someone loyal but not too clingy. you may also find yourself being attracted to unavailable people; that is, you could fall for people that are already taken, or maybe they're physically unavailable, e.g they live abroad or in another city in general. you're also attracted to foreigners, and people that have a wise, yet bubbly aura around them. mars here indicates that you hate lies of any kind, you want sincerity from those around you and you're the first to be constantly honest. you value your freedom a lot, your life motto is most likely 'live and let live'. you think everyone should live their lives by their own standards, without feeling afraid of being judged or criticized. you're a very pure and genuine person, you hardly ever judge a book by its cover, and you're also extremely open-minded. you're thirsty for knowledge of any kind, you're always up to learn something new. you may also be interested in foreign languages and cultures, as well as philosophy, literature... anything that can teach you something new about the world.

your 10th house is in cancer, with also your sun and mercury here. your career needs to be private. that doesn’t mean that you can’t become famous of course, but you prefer being more hidden at job, you may even work from home or from a young age. many celebrities with this placement, in fact, started working when they were still young. also, cancer indicates that your future job will give you the opportunity to express and / or deal with your / others’ feelings and emotions, and considering that mercury is also in this house I can see you working in the communication field. you could become a writer, a singer, an actress, as well as a nurse, a therapist… anything that allows you to express your emotions while also communicating something is suitable for you. you could possibly also choose the same career as your parents, or you may handle the family’s business for example. you could also end up doing the job of your childhood dreams. you feel the need to pursue a meaningful career in your life, you want to feel emotionally connected to it. you don’t only want something that allows you to earn money, you also want to gain wisdom and maturity from a job, and hence you could even be a bit picky in choosing your future career.

your 11th house is in leo, with also your mars placed there. with this placement, you’re probably very popular among your friends, you’re most likely the most talkative or funniest member of your group. you may also attract very popular people yourself in your friendships, perhaps even celebrities. possibly, you could even make friends that allow you to gain recognition and / or popularity, doesn’t matter whether it’s in school, job, etc. you could also have very big dreams for your future, probably regarding your career and finances. you most likely aspire to be wealthy and financially independent, you are very hard-working and possibly even a bit materialistic. the ruler of the 11th house is in the 10th house: you may make lots of friends thanks to your job, or perhaps you're going to start a business with your friends. you may also achieve your biggest dreams through your career, as they probably revolve around finances.

your 12th house is in virgo. this is another placement that indicates that you are an amazing writer! in fact, the 12th house is about secret skills too, and virgo is ruled by mercury, the planet of communication. you do the math. with this placement, though, I feel like you may feel restricted from pursuing your goals, or even a career in the public eye, as you’re quite sensitive to others’ criticism about you. you strive to be perfect all the time, and your libra rising wants to constantly have a nice reputation. a scandal, or even simple haters, would probably be the end of you.

❤️ love life, soulmates

in love you attract aries, aquarius, capricorn and cancer placements. your future spouse will most likely have aries and cancer traits placements; they’ll be very impulsive, creative, bold and confident, but also with a warm heart and a hidden insecurity to them. it could be love at first sight, and you may meet them abroad; you could meet them on a vacation, or perhaps they travel to your city. they could also be foreign, bilingual or have a different cultural background from yours. your children will have strong aquarius placements; they’ll be very dreamy, they’ll have big goals for their life, and they’ll also be extremely intelligent and creative as well.

👶🏻 family life

your father is probably a very caring person that knows how to stand up for himself when he has to, but he may struggle to do that. he’s very smart, caring and empathetic, even though he may be a bit childish at times. he could have cancer placements in his chart, possibly virgo, gemini and leo too. your mother, on the other hand, is a bit more serious and focused on work, but she always made sure you always had what you needed. she was probably the strict parent in the family, but she still has some sweetness and nice humor to her. also, she may have capricorn, aquarius, sagittarius or pisces placements in her chart. if you have siblings, they most likely have scorpio placements in their chart; you’re able to both relax and have fun together, even though you may discuss often. you could have been very jealous of each other when you were kids, maybe. you have a very intense relationship, but you surely learn a lot from each other.

📊 career

as I've already mentioned above, you're going to pursue a career that will allow you to interact with others. you would probably do amazing at a job that requires you to help people, you could make a great nurse or psychologist for instance. you may also work as a teacher of any kind, not necessarily a professor or school teacher. you could also work with children or for family, as a counselor for example. anything that allows you to interact with and help others would be great for you, as it would make you more empathetic and sensitive to the external world. last but not least, you may also work in a place related to food or money, such as a restaurant or even a bank as notary for instance, even though I see you pursuing a more creative, emotional career.

👕 fashion sense, style analysis

I imagine you put a lot of effort into your outifts, yet you don’t show it. you want to look effortlessly good, you don’t want to give the impression that you tried. your style may be quite minimalistic and simple, with lots of jeans, sweatshirts, plain t-shirts… I see you being more into natural shades, like white, grey, beige etc. you’re also not very fond of using too many accessories, you’re stylish but still very simple. you have this natural charm to you, hence you still look good even though your outfits may not be too complex.

👁 past life, life purpose

in your past life, the focus was on your relationships with others. maybe, you had troubles with self-esteem and identity in general and you used to depend on others. you had to work hard and finally understand how to build healthy relationships with others to fulfill your past life purpose. hence, this lifetime your focus will be yourself. even though at first you might feel quite insecure, especially due to saturn being opposite your ascendant, this lifetime you're here to develop this matter. after all, saturn will give you many lessons in order to transform yourself and grow into a better person.

🤔 major transits analysis / may 10

the sun is currently transiting your taurus 8th house, exactly conjunct your moon. you could be feeling very needy lately, but very sensitive as well. you want to be with people, maybe with your loved ones, you feel like you need a lot of care and attention and as a result you're literally craving human interactions. you may get angry or disappointed easily though, as you could be quite impulsive as well, so beware of that. jupiter, on the other hand, is in your 5th house; you may be lacking discipline in these days, perhaps you tend to procrastinate as you feel quite tired and you have to relax. of course it's ok to take some time for yourself, but remember to be responsible as well; hard work pays off.

🧿 manifest what you want, secret skills

your secret skills revolve around finances and just security in general. with a positive attitude, you may attract material luck: money, clothes, houses… everything that you desire. since you’re a logical person, I assume the most efficient way for you to manifest through the LOA is writing! take a notebook and just write down positive affirmations, such as 'I have the car of my dreams’ etc. you may also write them on post-its and glue them around your house, so that you can accelerate the progress. you can also try to idealize your wish before trying to manifest it. for example, if you want a new sweatshirt, try to imagine yourself wearing it. you could also go into a shop and actually try that sweatshirt it on; being in contact with it will boost the law of attraction even more.

and this is it! thank you again for booking a reading, hope it resonated with you :)

[shireness-says]

Wherever You’re Going (I’m Going Your Way) [5/6]

Summary: 1952. A lost boy without a home, Killian Jones rides America’s back roads on his motorcycle, searching for a purpose that’s just out of reach. This pit stop was only supposed to be a few days, a couple of weeks at most, but a pretty blonde waitress just might be his salvation. Is he brave enough to let her? Rated T for language. ~4.0K. Also on AO3. Ch. 1 Ch. 2 Ch. 3 Ch. 4

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A/N: Last chapter of plot - next week is an epilogue. Thanks for reading - let me know what you think!

~~~~~

The days to come are a kind of blissful in-between: after the date and the kiss that changes everything, but before  Killian’s tires have arrived and he’s back on the road again. The days are simultaneously too short and wonderfully long, the days too few and yet seemingly endless as Killian savors every moment together that he can. He makes a point to spend as much time with Emma as he can, knowing that their time will be far too short, taking her for ice cream and evening strolls and even letting Emma drag him down to the local bar and dance hall. He’d tensed as she’d pulled him onto the dance floor, far too aware of the many eyes around him — he’s far too aware that others think he’s trouble, and can only imagine what they think to see him arm in arm with the local golden girl — but the other townsfolk never show it. He thinks he might even see a few smiles among them, though that seems like it could be too much to ask for. As happy as he is to take Emma on the kind of dates she deserves, dancing and the like, he truthfully takes just as much pleasure in simply keeping her company during her late shifts at the diner, sitting in what is now his usual booth and flashing a smile just for her. There’s a gentle intimacy to this, being allowed to watch Emma in her own environment.

Still. As much he tries to revel in the moment, the future looms just ahead. 

“I don’t know what to do, Belle,” Killian groans as softly as he can manage into the phone. Granny’s back hallway probably isn’t the best place for this conversation, but it begs having, and Killian isn’t willing to drive up David Nolan’s long distance bill. The downside of the public pay phone is that it’s not exactly private; other customers pass periodically, searching for the bathrooms or winding their way back through to the attached inn. It’s odd to even think, and Killian isn’t sure how it truly happened, but he seems to have earned some level of acceptance amongst the locals, just by virtue of becoming a regular face at the garage and at Granny’s in the last handful of weeks. Most even nod a greeting, or offer him a brief smile. It’s jarring, in the most pleasant way, to be met with a kind of amiable neutrality after growing so accustomed to distrust everywhere he goes. 

That’s the benefit of staying in one place, he supposes: people come to know you, even just a little bit, even just enough to grow used to you and start to trust you. Those could be the seeds of a more settled life, if he wanted.

But that’s the whole problem — Killian isn’t sure he’s ready for that. Which brings him to this moment and this phone call, because it’s been nearly three weeks, and they’re expecting the replacement tires any day now, and Killian has a decision to make. Three weeks ago, there’d been no question — he’d be gone as soon as the tools were put down. Three weeks ago, however, he hadn’t yet met Emma — and Emma just might change everything.

The truth of the matter is that these last days with Emma have been the happiest that he’s lived in a long, long time, and he likes to think he makes her happy too. Her smiles and laughter and the way she chases after him for just one more kiss would suggest that to be the case. They went into this with open eyes, both knowing that whatever they became was subject to a ticking clock, but Killian still pauses when he thinks of leaving her behind. She deserves more than that; they both do. 

At the same time, staying still isn’t an option. Killian’s great cross-country trek has, more than anything, been a search for a sense of self, a sense of purpose; finding someplace to call home is a far distant third on his list of concerns. Ghosts still haunt him, and though he knows the wind on his motorcycle can’t permanently blow them away, it helps. It’s nice to just not think for a few minutes. Even hours, if he’s lucky.

(Then again, kissing Emma achieves much the same effect, in a much more pleasurable fashion.)

“I can’t stay. I really… I don’t think I can stay,” Killian continues. “But how can I leave, either? What if I’m throwing away my one real chance to settle down, and be happy like that?”

“But is that really true happiness, convincing yourself into something because it’s the smart or honorable thing to do?” Belle asks. “Or is that just a compromise?”

Killian stays silent, letting her words run through his head. This is why he called Belle in the first place: she has a way of pointing out the real questions he needs to ask himself without any judgement or demands. 

“You don’t need to have an answer now, and you don’t have to tell me when you do,” Belle continues, “but if you’re as taken with this girl as you tell me, it’s not fair to her if you stick around but constantly dream of leaving again. She doesn’t deserve that.”

“No, she doesn’t.” Killian can hear the soft tenderness in his own voice; no doubt Belle can as well. “And that’s the biggest reason I can’t stay. She deserves more than a man who would always wonder what he gave up. It’s not just places I want to see either, Belle. It’s… at the risk of sounding like some terrible cliche, I’ve felt like a shell of myself for a long time. The words shouldn’t be me, but they were an important part, and I lost them. Flying down the highway, seeing all the wonders this blasted place has to offer… that’s the only time it feels like the words might be in my reach again. I deserve the chance to figure out who I am after all this, even as Emma doesn’t deserve a man who will otherwise always be a little bit empty.” Killian sighs. “That doesn’t make it any easier to think about leaving her behind.”

“You could always ask her to come with.”

Killian’s heart leaps in excitement at the very idea, but he quickly forces reason to tamp it down. “I couldn’t possibly.”

“Whyever not? I thought you said she had a bit of wanderlust herself.”

“Yes, but…” Killian struggles for an answer, feeling like his brain is tripping over itself. “Storybrooke is her home. She’s got a family here, people who love her and would miss her. I can’t take her away from all of that.”

“Maybe that’s a decision she gets to make,” Belle replies gently. “Maybe she’ll surprise you. Maybe she wants the same thing, a chance to see what else is out there. You won’t know unless you ask.”

“Maybe.” Even as Killian says it, he knows that it’s a dream too big. He’ll never risk it — and Belle probably knows that too.

“It’s up to you, Killian,” she concludes, “but think about what’s best for you, now and later, okay? You deserve to be happy just as much as she does.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

Once Killian hangs up the payphone, he fights the urge to slide down the wall into a crumpled heap. Even after his talk with Belle, there’s still no good answers.

He’s got a lot to think about. 

———

As long as Killian doesn’t think too closely about their looming, unknown deadline, he can luxuriate in the sheer quiet joy of spending time with Emma. It’s easy to get used to her kisses and easy affection and the way that she has a special smile just for him when he walks into the diner. It’s a beautiful respite he didn’t know he needed and is certain he doesn’t deserve.

But far too often and too quickly, good things must end.

The new tire arrives on Thursday. Killian does his utter best to ignore it. As eager as he was to get in and get out of this little nowhere town three weeks ago, that’s all changed because of Emma. The itch under his skin is as strong as ever — the desire to blow all the dreams and pain away upon the winds — but his attachment to Emma, though new and young, is deep. She’s a balm to all his lingering wounds, a bright spot in his days that he never thought he’d find again, and the idea of leaving her is near unbearable, even if the idea of staying is just as suffocating. 

There’s only so long he can pretend to work off a debt he’s long since paid, though, and while David will never say anything, Killian sees the confused looks that the other man sends his way each day those tires continue to sit on a shelf.

“You know, you don’t have to leave if you don’t want to,” David mentions with an affected air of casualness as he works on the undercarriage of someone’s truck. Killian has been drafted to assist — though it seems to be just an excuse to trap him into conversation, considering that the only way he’s been helping is to hand over tools that David could just roll out and retrieve himself.

Killian braces himself against the truck’s bed, sighing heavily. He can’t help the exhalation; inside his head, all of Killian’s different desires war with each other — to stay with Emma, to leave for her own good, to leave for his own good. Underneath it all, though, is that same itch that’s driven him forward ever since he landed in this country, and it only grows stronger every day.

Staying was never really an option — not when he still needs wind whipping past his face to ground him every day.

“I know. But I can’t,” he finally replies, head bowed in a pointless instinct to hide his gaze from a man already obscured. 

David rolls himself back out to the light. “Why not? Has anyone made you think you couldn’t? Besides Graham, I mean, and that really was just a misunderstanding —”

“No, it’s not that. I’ll have to disagree about the sheriff’s intentions, but you’ve all been… wonderful. You, and Mrs. Nolan, and… Emma.” Killian stutters for a moment over her name; though they both knew going in that this wouldn’t end in anything lasting, it had been easy to forget that in a week and a half of bliss, and she’s the one who stands to hurt the most. Still, he must press on. “Better than I deserve, really. And I know you’d welcome me with open arms should I choose to make your little hamlet home. But it’s… I’ve got this compulsion to keep moving. Chasing something, or running away from something, I don’t even know anymore. But one day… I hope I’ll figure it out, and that feeling will settle.”

David hums, taking the time to replace his tools. If Killian’s not mistaken, it’s a stalling tactic. “You know, Emma has this theory,” he finally says, “that home is the place that when you leave, you just miss it. She and Mary Margaret spent a week — not even a week in Portland shopping for wedding and household things. And that was it for her. She and Mary Margaret were still in this terrible little apartment, but I’ve never seen her happier to be there. Gave me the biggest hug when she saw me as I came to pick up Mary Margaret for a date.” David smiles fondly at the memory. “I suppose what I’m saying is… maybe it takes some distance to realize what you want. And we’ll always be happy to welcome you back, if you choose to return. You’ve got a job here if you decide that’s what you want.”

It’s a lot to offer him, Killian knows — more than he expected. This entire town and all the people in it — especially the Nolans, especially Emma — are all more than he ever expected. “Thank you,” he says softly. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

David just nods before grabbing a different wrench and wheeling back under the body of the truck, but Killian thinks there’s an understanding there — that I can’t stay doesn’t mean not ever, just not now. There’s a time and a place for everything in life, and the place Killian’s at right now isn’t nearly settled enough for tranquil little Storybrooke.

He shouldn’t have counted on David keeping that information to himself, however. Half the reason he’d avoided the matter of the tire in the first place was his own uncertainty about how to broach the topic with Emma. She deserves to hear from him that he’s leaving again, but all attempts he makes to imagine that conversation feel inadequate — too flippant, too detached, too lame. Decidedly not what she deserves.

Trust his Swan, however, to bring it up all on her own.

“So,” she starts, arm linked through his as they walk down Main Street together, “what’s this I hear about a tire?”

Killian’s heart jumps into his throat; without even intending, he slows their pace to barely a shuffle. “So you heard about that, then.”

“David’s not great about keeping secrets from Mary Margaret, and Mary Margaret isn’t great about keeping secrets from… anyone, really.” Emma chuckles at her little quip, but it doesn’t hold the joy Killian’s grown accustomed to in the past weeks. 

(God, when did he allow himself to become accustomed to that — or anything? He was never supposed to stay longer than a few weeks, and this only makes it harder.)

“I want to tell you, but…” Killian trails off. But what? He was scared? He was conflicted?

“It’s alright, Killian,” she smiles back, albeit weakly. “We always knew this was coming.” Emma gathers a deep breath as if to steel herself for what else she has to say. “So how much time do we have left, then? I know the road must be calling you again.”

But you are too, Killian doesn’t say. 

“Two days,” he says instead. “Three at most. David and I got Mr. French’s delivery van settled today, so we’ll be able to put the bike back together tomorrow and I can hit the road the next day, or the one after.”

“That’s not much time,” Emma replies softly, looking down at their shuffling feet as if she can’t bear to meet his eyes.

“No.”

(You could always ask her to come with, whispers Belle’s voice in his head. He’s not nearly brave enough to listen to it.)

Killian feels Emma take a deep, strengthening breath before she lifts her gaze to meet his again. “Then we’d better make the most of it.”

———

The next evening, Killian takes Emma for a ride on the newly-functional motorcycle, trying the whole while not to think about how this feels like goodbye. He remembers how she’d asked, one of those first nights, flirting even though Killian couldn’t see it, didn’t want to see it. Emma had gasped in surprise and delight when Killian came to pick her up after her shift (an early one, today, that lets them take a little cruise as the sun sets before them), drawn out to the diner’s front windows by the putter of the engine. 

“Are we going to go for a ride?” she practically demands. Not that Killian minds, as long as he gets to see the grin that splits her face from cheek to cheek. 

“As far as you want,” he promises.

(It was only supposed to be a few days, a couple of weeks at most, but ask her to come with echoes louder and louder in his head with each passing hour.)

Killian helps Emma onto the bike as best he can while straddling the seat himself, but she doesn’t prove to need much assistance, still steady even as she swings a leg over the body. It takes some doing, but he manages to crane his body around far enough to press a lingering kiss to her lips. 

(Not their last, not their last, his heart insists, but his brain still whirs in a panic of not enough time like another engine he’ll have to fix.)

“Are you ready, love?” he asks when they finally break apart. Emma nods enthusiastically. “Then hold on tight.”

It’s almost idyllic, cruising through Storybrooke’s back roads with Emma’s arms twined around his waist. She particularly seems to love the straight stretches of road where he can really test their speed. As the wind whips past their faces, Emma giggles and shrieks with glee behind him. Other women might have been nervous about the bike, or fretted about the number the wind will undoubtedly do to their hair, but not his Swan. It’s obvious she’s having the time of her life, and Killian feels grounded in a new way to feel her body perched behind his.

(Come with, come with, could come with…)

“God, I see why you love that so much,” she chuckles as they roll to a halt at the pier. Killian will never get back in the water, but there’s still something soothing about the endless horizon. “It’s exhilarating.”

And maybe it’s the joy in her voice, or the way she smiles as she swings off the bike again. More likely, it’s the result of the words that have been rattling around inside his skull ever since he talked to Belle. Whatever it is, it dissolves any filter between Killian’s brain and his mouth and the words come tumbling out before he can stop them. “You could come with me,” he blurts out in a rush, only to flush red as he realizes what he said. That was not remotely something he meant to say, but it’s out there in the world now, his heart dropped at her feet for her to pick up or kick aside.

Not that she’s done either, yet. Emma stands shocked and still in front of him, eyes wide like she can’t believe what she’s just heard. That’s a reasonable reaction; Killian certainly can’t believe that he just said it. 

“What did you say?” she whispers.

“Nothing, Swan, don’t worry about it. I shouldn’t have said anything —”

“But you did,” Emma says, interrupting his backtracking. “Did you mean it?”

Killian sighs, sweeping his hand through his hair in yet another nervous tic. She probably knows all of them by now — the hand in the hair and the scratching behind his ear and all the rest of it. He’s a mess of a man, which makes him all the more certain that no matter what he might want, he can’t possibly deserve her. “Aye, I did,” he finally admits. “And I know it’s foolish, because I can’t possibly ask that of you, not when you’ve got a place like this to call home, with people who love you. Not when you’d have to put up with me. But it’s what I want.” He whispers it like a shameful secret. And maybe it is, a little bit — after all, he knows better than anyone that no matter how much he wants doesn’t mean it can ever happen.

“And why would you ever think that’s foolish?” Emma asks softly, stepping into his space to rest her hands on his shoulders.

“I mean —”

“I told you once that I wanted to be brave with you, and that it was my choice to make. I meant it then, and I mean it now, too.” As Emma pauses to stare into his eyes, Killian feels hope flutter in his chest, stronger and brighter than ever before, only to burst to glorious life as she finishes. “So ask me.”

It only takes a moment to swallow his nerves. “Come with me, Emma. Let me show you the world.”

Emma’s hands move to his face, stroking her thumbs along his cheeks to coax him into a smile to match her own. “Yes,” she says, softly, emphatically, lovingly.

And Killian finally allows his dreams to soar in flight. 

��—— 

Their goodbye is sad, even though Emma assures everyone that it’s not forever. 

“I’ll be back, I promise,” she tells Mrs. Nolan, whose eyes brim with tears just waiting to fall. “We both will be.”

“I know that,” Mrs. Nolan insists. “But that doesn’t mean I won’t miss you! It won’t feel right, not seeing your face around town every day.”

“Promise me you’ll look after her,” David says quietly as Killian secures the saddlebags on the motorcycle. Emma has proved to travel light, just like him; she’d showed up with nothing more than a satchel, a tightly coiled bedroll, and a beaming smile. “Because Emma is special, and I don’t know what we’ll do if something happens to her. Or, more accurately, I don’t know what I’ll do to you if something happens to her,” he tries to joke, stretching a weak smile before falling back to something more serious. “She’s very precious to us — to all of us.”

“I know,” Killian replies, cracking a small smile as he watches Emma hug her friend. “She’s very precious to me, too. I promise that I’ll do everything in my power — everything and then some more — to watch over her and keep her safe.”

“Good.” David offers his hand to shake, and Killian grasps it firmly in return. Maybe it’s a sealing of the promise; maybe it’s a gesture of friendship; maybe it’s a little of both. Whatever the case, Killian feels something pass between himself and David: an understanding, almost a sort of peace.

Emma slides an arm around his waist, apparently done hugging and bidding farewell to her crowd of admirers. Killian could swear half the town turned up in front of the garage to send her off — Granny and Ruby, Sheriff Graham, Mrs. Nolan, and a whole slew of other people he only halfway recognizes. She’s obviously much loved; Killian could tell that even without David’s little speech.

“Ready to go?” she asks with a wide and happy smile. He’d understand if she was nervous, or scared, or sad, or anything else; that would be reasonable as she’s about to embark on a journey into the unknown with him. There’s only excitement in her gaze, however; it’s obvious she’s got a wanderer’s heart of her own.

“Whenever you are, love,” he smiles back.

It’s a matter of a moment to swing his leg over the body of the motorcycle and let Emma clamber on behind him with David’s help. As Killian starts the engine, the other man drops a kiss to Emma’s forehead that Killian pretends not to notice.

“Godspeed,” he murmurs, just loud enough for Killian to hear. “And you make sure to call and keep us posted, alright?” he concludes in a louder voice. 

“Of course, dad.” Killian can practically hear her roll her eyes, but he can hear the fondness, too. In a last gesture, Emma leverages herself off of Killian’s shoulders to press a kiss on David’s cheek. “Love you.”

“I love you too.” Tears gleam at the corner of David’s eyes, but he plasters on a grin anyways. “Now go on, hit the road before the sun gets too hot!”

Killian doesn’t need to be told twice. In a flurry of waves from Emma and her crowd of well-wishers, they slowly cruise back down Main Street, picking up speed as it gives way to a country highway.

“Are you ready for an adventure, Swan?” he asks as she twines her arms tighter around his waist, craning his neck to meet her gaze. 

“With you?” she smiles back. “Always.”

~~~~~

Tagging: @kmomof4, @aerica13, @thisonesatellite, @searchingwardrobes, @let-it-raines, @teamhook, @ohmightydevviepuu, @optomisticgirl, @winterbaby89, @spartanguard, @scientificapricot​, @snowbellewells​, @welllpthisishappening​, @tiganasummertree​, @captainswanbigbang​, @snidgetsafan​, @thejollyroger-writer​, @profdanglaisstuff​

[give-me-back-my-rhodey]

Here We Are, Born to be Kings - AUgust Day 9

Title: Here We Are, Born to be Kings

Author: Purple_ducky00

Rating: Teen

Warnings: N/A

Pairing: Rhodey/Tony

Square Filled: G2 Dramatic Proposal

Link: Read on AO3

Summary:  Prince James is in love with Lord Tony Stark, a childhood friend. However, the Starks have been disgraced due to embezzlement charges. Can they overcome this?

++++++++++

“Your Highness. Lord Stark is here to see you.” Quentin Beck holds up his nose.

 Prince James Rhodes rolls his eyes. It’s not like Beck should judge. He was only hired because his family was in serious debt.  Tony is working out of his.

 Tony walks in a few minutes later, hair askew. “Wow, Rhodey, your servants hate me. I call it an achievement.”

“They just think it’s ok to judge since their scandals happened long ago enough for people to forget. You don’t deserve this.”

 “I probably do.” Tony shrugs. “It doesn’t bother me. Actually, it gives me the chance to ditch my politeness because they already dislike me.”

 “Oh for that luxury,” Rhodey sighs. He hates the protocol he must go through. Maybe that’s why he finds Tony so refreshing.

 They first met at a football match. Tony was on the other team, and he told the young prince, “We’re not playing any easier because you’re the prince. So, be ready for that.”

 Rhodey laughed and started playing. Tony’s team was clearly better, and they defeated Rhodey's team easily. After the game, Tony invited him to grab some lunch. They have been fast friends ever since.

 Now, Rhodey is 22 and Tony is 21. Tony’s father died last year, and Tony inherited his estate. After going over the numbers, Tony’s godfather, Obadiah Stane informed him that Howard had been falsifying records and was basically bankrupt.

 Dazed and reeling from his parents' sudden death, Tony doesn’t know what to do with this information. He reaches out for help, but as Howard had been stealing money from his peers, everyone refuses to help him. Rhodey offers to bail him out completely. Tony won’t let him. He decides he will work to pay off his father's debts.

 Tony was always incredibly smart. His patented inventions were used worldwide. He decides to start his own company, Stark Enterprises, where he builds and sells hi-tech machinery and entertainment devices. As his company quickly grows, he branches out into clean energy and satellites. Not even a full year after starting his company, Tony is very successful. With only Stane and his PA, Pepper Potts, at his right hand, Tony makes sure that he himself takes care of the books. Every entry is painstakingly entered and checked by the big boss himself.

 Rhodey is very proud of his friend, but it seems that his family is the only one in the kingdom that is. King Terrance and Queen Roberta love the young man as a son, but they often wonder if he is taking on too much, causing his sleepless nights and unhealthy eating habits. Tony waves them off saying he had had those problems before his parents had died.

 Prince James’ PR agent tells him that finding someone to date might be a good look for him. Everyone is looking for news of the royal family, and they will only assume the worst if they don’t hear from each member. Queen Roberta’s cooking classes and bingo games are televised. The king does a podcast twice a month. Jeannie plays tennis professionally. James is the only one without a big public profile, and he prefers that. However, there are some people who think that James is being pushed out of the spotlight or being abused in some kind. To quell any quickly rising rumors, Rhodey agrees to attend sports matches and talk to the press for a few minutes each time. When Tony’s not working his ass off, he often accompanies Tony.

 What Rhodey doesn’t tell his PR agent is the reason he doesn’t date. He is hopelessly in love with Tony and admitting that would be bad for a few reasons. 1.) Everyone in the country is against Tony. They would slander his name even more if they thought he had got his “money-grubbing claws” in the prince. 2.) Tony is straight. He had never told Rhodey otherwise, and he has only dated women as far as Rhodey knows. 3.) He doesn’t want any reason to make Tony uncomfortable in the only place he is welcome other than his home. So, he skirts the topic because fake dating is not his idea of fun.

 Now, Tony’s here and Rhodey knows he’s giving Tony heart eyes. “So, you’ve got a day off from me. What’s the plan, Rhodey?”

 “You pick today. I’m up for anything.” Rhodey trusts that Tony won’t do anything Rhodey can’t.

 Tony sits on the chair beside Rhodey. “I need to sit. I don’t think I’ve stopped moving for a week.”

 “So, what you’re saying is you need sleep.” Rhodey retorts.

“No, I need to spend time with my Rhodeybear. We never did that Star Wars marathon after Rise of Skywalker came out, did we?” Tony pokes him. “We can order like tons of pizza and greasy foods and bro it out like the old times.”

 Stuck in a theatre room with only Tony and highly unhealthy food? “Sounds like a great day. Let’s queue up the movies. I’ll have |Miss Cabe order our food. The usual?” Tony nods and heads off to the theater.

 Rhodey pulls out his phone and texts a maid, Bethany Cabe, to place an order for the following: an extra-large bacon pizza, two orders of cheesy curly fries, mozzarella sticks, and onion rings. Rhodey has cases of Tony’s favorite beer, so they did not need to worry about drinks.

 As they settle in to watch the movies, Tony tells him, “Wake me up if I fall asleep. I don’t want to miss Episode Six again.”

 “Come on Tones, Return of the Jedi isn’t the best.” Rhodey smirks.

 Tony glares at him. “It’s my favorite. Leave me alone. Go ahead and like Empire or whatever one you like the best. Geez.”

 “You know mine is Episode Three. The tragedy, the pain, the John Williams’ scores? A masterpiece.”

 “Anakin deserved better.” Tony mumbles as he eats a bite of pizza. Rhodey sighs. He’s heard this rant many times, and he’ll probably hear it again tonight. Tony really gets into these movies.

 Tony falls asleep at the end of A New Hope, his head falling on Rhodey’s shoulder. He looks so exhausted so Rhodey lets him sleep through Empire since Tony thinks it’s overhyped or something. Rhodey likes it. When Return of the Jedi starts, Rhodey nudges Tony awake. “Episode 6? Honeybear, you are an angel.” Tony kisses his cheek.

 By the time The Last Jedi comes on, both of the men are sleeping. Jeannette comes in to check on them and snaps a picture of Tony lying on top of Rhodey, both snoring away.

 Rhodey wakes up a few hours later and freezes. Tony is sleeping peacefully on him, his head on Rhodey’s chest. He doesn’t dare move in fear of waking Tony up. He slowly reaches for his phone and scrolls through Instagram and other social media apps until Tony wakes up.

 Tony wakes up slowly, but when he’s fully awake he jumps up and goes. “I’ve got to get to work!”

  “Hey Tony. It’s Sunday. We were going to spend Saturday and Sunday together, right?”

 “Oh. Oh. Whew. I thought.” Tony slumps. “Probably hallucinating from all that grease.”

 “Maybe we should get a little more sleep in a real bed.” Rhodey suggests. Tony nods, and they walk up to Rhodey’s room. Since they were kids, Tony always slept in Rhodey’s bed with him. They only ever slept and/or cuddled, and Rhodey has a king bed in case either of them needed their own space.

 They go to Jeannie’s tennis match then accompany her to an expensive Italian restaurant for dinner. The next morning, there are pictures splashed across the tabloids. Stark trying to get in with the Royal Family? Read more on page 3! One says. The Apple Doesn’t Fall far from the Tree – Another Gold-Digging Stark! Rhodey shakes his head. He was afraid this would happen. He calls his PR agent, Maria Hill.

She answers with a “Now do you see why having a partner would be good?”

 “Yes. Do you have any candidates who would be willing to date with no sex and/or strings attached? For public only?”

 “You don’t know how many celebrities only hope for that. Let me see which ones I can get. I’ll send you over a packet when I get them.”

 When he gets the packet, Rhodey isn’t surprised to find that 75% of them are women. Skipping through them, he tells Maria to reach out to an A-list actress Natasha Romanov. She is a beautiful woman, and they seem to have a lot of the same likes and dislikes. She agrees to meet with Rhodey at a small café near the palace. He introduces himself as Rhodey, then corrects it to “James or Jim” when Romanov gives him an odd look. “I’m sorry. My best friend always calls me Rhodey. It’s just what I expect now. I mean, if you want to call me that in private, it’s fine. Maria thinks it’s better if you call me James or Jim when talking with the press.”

“Tell me about this best friend.” Natasha leans forward. “He sounds like a nice guy.”

 Rhodey launches into a detailed description of Tony: his strengths, his flaws, his quirks, etc.  When he’s done, she asks, “And you’re dating me because you can’t date him?”

 “How did you…?”

 “You’re in love with him. Just look at your face. It’s ok. I won’t tell the press. I have almost the same problem. I’m in a poly relationship with a different celebrity couple. However, since Hollywood, even with its sex scandals, still looks down on poly relationships. I need a beard to keep our activity on the downlow. Is that acceptable for you?”

 Rhodey nods. “Of course. And you’re right. I love Tony, but I need to keep the press out of his life. His father put him through a lot, and he’s trying to make up for Howard’s sins. He doesn’t need the extra press coverage. Also, I don’t know if he likes me like that. I’ve never seen him date a guy.”

 “Well, I’d like to meet him.”

 +++++++ Natasha and Tony eventually meet. Tony is happy to meet her, but Rhodey feels that Tony is wearing one of his many masks. |When they kiss goodnight, Natasha tells him, “Rhodey, he likes you.”

 “Not that I want to doubt you, but I’m highly doubtful on this one here.”

 A few months pass, and Natasha and Prince James are photographed at red carpet events, at sports games, and at galas. Rumors are spreading that Prince James might propose soon. Natasha shows up at the palace for a surprise visit. “Hey, can we talk?” She pulls James from his family dinner.

 She tells him how the couple that she is dating are planning on coming out to the press as poly with her because they know some younger people who are receiving hate for their relationships. They want to be allies for such people. And they want her there when they come out. “Can we say we amicably split? I’d love to keep in contact with you.”

 “That sounds good.” His phone pings. He has a google alert set up for Tony because the press likes to come up to him for hostile interviews at the most inopportune times. James does his best to save him. “Listen Nat, I will talk to my publicist, but I have to go.”

 The press has trapped Tony on the palace driveway. “What do you think of Prince James marrying Ms. Romanov?” One reporter asks.

 “I didn’t know they got engaged, but I think they are an excellent match. Well-suited for each other.” Rhodey can see Tony is keeping his press face on but was not ready for the sudden press conference.

 Another reporter sneers. “We know you were trying to get a piece of the royalty. Will you try for the princess now that the prince is spoken for?”

 “Excuse me?” Tony reels. “What are you talking about?”

 “They’ll never have you. You’re just a charity case to them. What do you think of that? Did you think Prince James really liked you? Especially after what your father did?” Another reporter shoves a microphone in his face.

 Tony loses his mask. “Do I think Rho- Prince James really liked me? I have known the prince since we were young teenagers. I know he likes me… as a friend. But anything more? No. He never did, never will. I know what my father did; I know what I have to do to fix it. My father and Prince James have no correlation. What are you even trying to say here?” Rhodey can see the pain in Tony’s eyes. They flash when he says that Rhodey will never like him as anything more as a friend.

 “Excuse me.” Rhodey steps forward. “Can you step away from him, please?”

 The press apologizes and steps away. “Now, I want to say this once more and hopefully never again. Lord Stark is not his father. Lord Stark is paying his father’s investors back as quickly as he can. He started up his business on his own with his trust fund from his maternal grandmother. Howard never saw or added to a penny of that fund. What is the point of hating a man for the sins of his father? Keep rolling. I am talking to the country as a whole. Leave him alone, please. I want to say one more thing. Tony Stark, you are the love of my life. The reason I have not dated is because the only person I have ever loved was you. Yes, Natasha and I dated, but we did to keep other things hidden. I’m sure she will let you know at some point. It’s not my job. Tony, again, I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and perhaps rule with you. I do not have a ring yet because I had not planned to propose to you in front of live TV today, yet here I am. Will you make me the happiest man in the world and marry me?”

 “You’re serious?” Tony gasps.

 “Completely.”

 “Then Rhodey, my Honeybear, my Platypus, my Sourpatch, I will marry you in a heartbeat.” Tony smiles widely, and Rhodey kisses him deeply, in front of the cameras. As they turn to the palace, Tony turns back to the cameras, lifts his middle finger, and says, “Fuck you” whilst smiling sweetly.

 ++++++ The country is so shocked at Prince James’ dramatic proposal. People wonder if Tony is a good fit for the prince due to his blatant disregard for protocol. Princess Jeannie posts the picture she took of them sleeping in the theatre room on Instagram, the caption “I knew it.” She broke the internet with the most likes on an Instagram post.

  Tony goes through his numbers and his father’s numbers again to make sure everyone is paid off. While looking at his father’s records again, he notices some discrepancies from Obadiah’s report. The truth comes out – Howard had not done anything wrong; it was Obadiah. He falsified documents, records, and even bills to give him much more money. Obadiah is fired and imprisoned. Tony’s name is cleared. Anthony Stark marries Prince James Rhodes a happy man.