#which keeps me interested immeasurably. Its more interesting to me

[gothamcityneedsme]

hello and welcome to my novel idea: comic book heroes killing people is always wrong and never fixes anything!

[asumofwords]

Smoke, Fire and Ash

Warnings: This fic includes noncon, dubcon, manipulation, violence, death, forced marriage, and inc3st. Tags will be added as the fic goes on. Blood, gore, major character deaths.

This is a dark!fic. 18+ only. Read at your own discretion. Please read the warnings before continuing.

Summary: You are the eldest daughter of Rhaenyra and Daemon Targaryen. You are forced to navigate the difficult surroundings of your upbringing and the eventual disintegration between your family and the Hightower's relationship. What will happen when your older and estranged uncle suddenly takes a more sinister interest in you? (Dark!Aemond x Reader)

Masterlist

Characters: Aemond Targaryen X Reader, HOTD characters.

Note: Oh my god.... Everything is happening ARGH! I'm actually going to try and post updates daily now for this, bar Sunday for the next Sublet chapter. I am just so excited to finish this series! Hahaha, anyway, I've loved seeing all your reactions and theories!! <3

Chapter 102: Envoys to Dragonstone 

When you had returned to your chambers, it was a blur of movements and thoughts, but one in particular seemed to absorb all the rest. Its dark tendrils wrapped around the others, pulling them into the dark with it, thus making its size almost immeasurable until all other thoughts were devoured by it, gone from the light, and all that was left was it. 

War was coming.

With shaky hands you grasped a piece of parchment and sat at the table. With the ink pot and quill, you rolled the parchment flat beneath your palm and began to write. 

You wrote as though your life depended on it. 

Because it did. 

And with each swift flick of your script, a blaring word in particular seemed to have broken loose from the feeling of hopelessness. A word which had been whispered and cried. Spoken and sneered. A word that had fuelled your hope, and created your despair. A word that you knew, now more than ever, was a need to act. 

Dracarys. 

And so you wrote until the page was full, and tears leaked from your eyes at knowing what was to come next. 

Loss. 

‘Mother and Father, 

To write to you under the present circumstances does little to steady my beating heart, but it is something that I know will ensure that it keeps doing just that. Beating. 

Aegon is dead. Slain at the hands of Aemond. 

And now he is King. And I, Queen.

The treaty is lost, and at the risk of another war coming to take us all, I must beg you, bend the knee.

Bend the knee to Aemond. 

If you swear him as King, he has said that he will allow you to live on Dragonstone and carry out your days there safely and happily. 

If you do not bend the knee, war will break, and I will not survive it.

You will not survive it. 

None of us will. 

My only consolation is that if you do, we shall all live, and that I will be able to see you again soon.

I suspect I am with child, Aemond’s child. And if the promise of your own flesh and blood upon the throne does not satiate your need to rule, then know I hold no grievances towards you. It is your birthright, just as it is mine.

If you do not bend the knee, you must send star fruit to the Keep so that I know of your decision, and may feel its sweet nectar upon my tongue once more before war breaks out. It is the only way I will survive this all, and it is the only way that I will know that you do not hate me for asking you of this. 

It was not my wish to depose my mother of the throne, nor my father, or my dearest brother Jacaerys. I beg for your forgiveness. I shall go to the Godswood and pray that you will forgive such an offence, and pray that the Gods will forgive my sins too.

Until then, I wait to hear of your acquiesce to Aemond and I's rule, or the delivery of star fruit to the keep in barrels full. 

Yours forever,

Queen Y/n.’

Tears slipped past your eyes, and you had not even heard Aemond enter the chambers, nor sense him standing behind you as he read your letter. It was only until he touched a lock of your hair at the back of your head did you know that he was there. 

“Are you ready?” He asked softly, cool patience in his tone.

You turned your head to look up at him.

Were you ready?

Would you ever be ready for what was to come?

If your parents bent the knee, that meant you would rule as Queen, like you had always wanted, and at the side of Aemond. 

But if they didn’t?

No.

They would come. 

Just as you asked.

More tears fell, and Aemond swiped them away gently with his thumb, “Issa iā qopsa geralbar bona ilagon gō īlva.  Yn nyke gīmigon bona hēnkirī, hae mēre, kosti.” It is a difficult road that lays before us. But I know that together, as one, we can.

“Iksan nāpāsagon ñuha lentor.” I am betraying my family, You sniffed, another tear trailing down your cheek hotly.

Aemond frowned sadly at you, helping you to stand.

“Iksis ziry drēje?” Is it true? He asked quietly, “Issi ao lēda riña?” Are you with child?

You knew in your bones that you were.

Although there were not many symptoms but the inklings of sore breasts, you just knew. You knew instinctually that it was true. That the Gods had given you and Aemond another chance of being parents, and you would not lose that opportunity again.

You nodded, another tear rolling down your cheek, one of sorrow and joy.

Aemond bent his head down to kiss you gently, lips brushing against your own in reverence, but his hands upon your face showed the true excitement that he held back. They were firm, and tight, and almost tingled against your skin. 

“I am scared.” You breathed.

“I will keep you and my child safe.” Aemond looked you in the eye, sincerity on his face, a hand coming to press gently at your stomach.

You smiled sadly at him, “Not if war breaks.”

“Even then. I will not lose you, or our child. You are the most precious thing in the world to me, my one and only love. Not even the Gods could take you from me.” He promised.

Your heart soared as you nodded up at him, rising on your tiptoes to capture his lips once more. He whispered an apology against your lips, and you couldn’t help the small sob that escaped.

“Please do not make me choose.” You whispered, hands holding the sides of his face, stubble brushing against the scar of your palm, the reminder of your union and love always there.

“You have already made your choice. Now they must make theirs.”

Aemond left you in the chambers alone to deliver your letter to Otto Hightower and Ser Criston Cole, who readied themselves to leave by ship that very evening. They would arrive to Dragonstone by morning. 

And you would get your answer from the skies.

DRAGONSTONE POV

The morning broke the same way that it had before.

The sun rose above the waters surrounding Dragonstone, and cast the volcanic island in a glow of golden light. There was a light breeze that morning as the maids had opened the windows and balcony doors to Queen Rhaenyra and King Daemon’s quarters. 

They had been dressed and readied, and broke their fast together. Little Viserys and Aegon the Younger tottered around their chambers, playing with tiny toy dragons that had been carved from wood. 

The couple eventually made their way down to the study, Rhaenyra having gotten word from the men at the Red Fork that a certain war dragon had been spotted in the skies, and not seen to have left until almost a dozen days later.

As Rhaenyra shifted the letters at the large desk and Daemon sat lazily before the fir with one leg crossed over the other as Little Viserys sat on his knee, stories being whispered into the young boys ear as Aegon the younger sat on the floor playing with his toys, the door to the chambers were rapt by knuckles thrice in quick succession. 

“Come.” Rhaenyra beckoned, and watched as the doors were opened swiftly by a Ser Erryk Cargyll.

The twin gave a short nod in greeting before apologising for his intrusion, “Your, Grace, there is a ship, just west of Dragonstone.”

Rhaenyra stiffened in her chair, and Daemon snapped his head to the man, quietening his whispers.

“It flies the banner of your brother.”

Rhaenyra stood from her seat slowly, Daemon going her with his son in his arms, the boy nestled against his side.

There had not been a ship to Dragonstone since the day Otto had come to watch her daughter be wed to her half-brother.

“Notify the council, have them be ready.” Rhaenyra commanded, and Ser Erryk bowed his head, leaving the chambers at once. 

Rhaenyra and Daemon stared at each other, Viserys fussing in Daemon’s arms, sensing the tension that mounted in the room like a storm.

“Do you think it’s a trap?” Daemon breathed heavily, smoothing hair away from his sons head as two of Rhaenyra’s maids entered the chambers.

Daemon kissed the top of the boys forehead before handing him to one of the girls, the other scooping Aegon the Younger into her arms before exiting the chambers. 

Rhaenyra moved around the desk, coming to stand in front of Daemon, “I believe we should be ready for it.”

By the time the two entered the Chambers of the Painted Table, the Small Council of Queen Rhaenyra were already standing around it in wait. Jacaerys stood off to the side, his Lady Wife, Baela beside him. 

Lord Corlys stood to the side of Baela with Princess Rhaenys and their other granddaughter Rhaena, all who wore black and red, with hints of blue, as was their new and old House colours. 

All other Lords and Maester’s stood at the other end. 

“When should they arrive to shore?” Rhaenyra asked, forgoing a greeting as she walked swiftly to the head of the table with her husband.

“Within the hour, Your Grace.” Came the response of Maester Gerardys.

Rhaenyra nodded, looking amongst the table before she jumped into action. 

“We need to be ready for whatever my brother Aegon has planned. Patrol the skies and the sea. Have men at the ready for anything.”

Jacaerys stepped forward, “I shall ride Vermax.”

Rhaenyra nodded, though her heart raced in her chest.

The last time she had allowed her children to take to the skies, only one came back.

“I’ll take Moondancer, Your Grace.” Princess Baela declared.

Rhaenyra gave the girl a small smile, “Good.” She turned to face Rhaenys, “Take Meleys to the sky. If Aegon or Aemond are to come on the backs of their dragons, we will need numbers and you are one of our best.”

Daemon was the next to speak, “I shall take Caraxes-”

“-No.” Rhaenyra argued, “You will stay with me. I need you at my side.” Turning to Lord Corlys, she requested the presence of his ships, “Have four of your ships ready at port.”

The older man nodded, moving swiftly out of the chambers to command them.

“You said there was only one ship?” Rhaenyra questioned the Maester.

“Yes, Your Grace. Only one has been spotted.”

The crown weighed heavily atop the Queens head in that moment, the first time she had ever truly felt the weight of it.

At first when Daemon had crowned her, it was foreign, but with time, she grew to not notice its presence, as though it was another set of braids atop her head. But now, she felt the heavy weight of it all, pressing down on her skull, hyperaware that she had a duty, and it was about to be tested.

Once the ships had been pulled to the docks, and her dragon riders had taken to the skies, Queen Rhaenyra and her King Consort, Daemon Targaryen, moved with the Queens Guard down to the meeting point of the path where they had stood before. 

When greeted with Aegon’s terms. 

And then later with the return of their daughter.

But this time, they waited and watched as the heads and banners of the Green three headed dragon came towards them, and they did not once sense that they would be reunited with their daughter once more. Instead, Ser Otto Hightower was flanked by Ser Criston Cole and members of her brothers Kings Guard.

Above them, three dragons flew in circles, watching from above. 

Waiting. 

Ready.

Ser Otto Hightower, in all his lithe glory, came to a stop before Queen Rhaenyra, looking all the more like a weevil that had crawled into a farmers grain.

For he was a pest that had wormed its way into her fathers life, and become the driving force of the usurpation of the throne, her daughter and sons deaths, and the removal of her surviving daughter to her half-brother.

Ser Otto was a man that Rhaenyra as a child had hoped and prayed that her father would have seen through. That Viserys could have seen the man before him was a mask, a shell, and hid his true intentions behind duty and tradition. But Viserys had been blinded by the wolf in sheep's clothing, and Otto’s lies had been strengthened by Daemon’s love for her.

Viserys never did get to see the ruin that his inaction would become.

Daemon, the once Rogue Prince, stood at his wife’s side diligently, as he had promised to do, large palms resting upon the two swords that flanked him, one being the Dark Sister blade. He struggled to not sneer at the man who had taken everything from him.

Taken his daughter from him. His brother.

“We come as envoys.” Otto began, Ser Cole staring at Daemon, his own hand atop the hilt of his sword.

Daemon had not forgotten Cole's place in all this either.

Crispin Cole.

Rhaenyra looked down at the men from her nose. Despite being shorter than them, she stood uphill, and gave the illusion that she was above them.

And she was.

Where she was Queen, they were mere Ser’s.

“King Aemond the First-“

“-Aemond?” Rhaenyra interrupted sharply, worry coursing through her chest, “Did my brother Aegon drink himself to death in his cups?”

Otto reached into his coat pocket, the Queen’s Guard shifting as they watched his movement carefully. Long fingers pulled apart his lapel and dove into the inner pocket, grasping the rolled parchment from their daughter.

Daemon shifted atop the balls of his feet.

Lord Hightower held out the scrolled parchment, green insignia stamped into its papery surface with wax, “A letter from the Queen.” 

“Queen?” Daemon snipped, looking at the parchment. 

Ser Erryk stepped forward to grasp the letter, armour shuffling as his eyes darted to his twin, Arryk Cargyll, who stood behind Otto Hightower.

It was a sad day for either twin, seeing their other half on different sides of a silent war. Their eyes met, if only briefly, all hurt and betrayal, before Erryk took the scroll and delivered it to Rhaenyra.

“King Aegon is dead. And in the line of succession, Aemond has taken his place.”

“What about his remaining son?” Daemon questioned, looking at the scroll briefly before back at Otto.

Otto held his hands behind his back, “Maelor is too young to rule at such a time, and Aemond has taken the Iron Throne.”

Ser Erryk held out the parchment for his Queen to take, which she took whilst keeping her eyes upon Otto, much like her husband, who continued to talk. 

“Bend the knee to the King, swear your fealty to him and he shall allow you to remain here as the Lady of Dragonstone, whereafter your son Jacaerys the Lord of Dragonstone, and Joffrey Lord of Driftmark. The Queen has agreed to send word to you now that the treaty has ended with Aegon’s passing.”

Rhaenyra hastily unrolled the parchment, ripping the green wax insignia of the three headed dragon off the paper, the wax crumbling onto the stone below. Violet eyes roved over her daughters script whilst Daemon read over the top of her shoulder. 

The Queen felt a tide of rage.

“I will not bend the knee to a usurper and kinslayer who is not even second in the line of succession. He has no right to the throne.” She hissed at the Hightower Lord, “Where is the Princess?”

“She is Queen Consort now, and shall live her days with the King in peace and safety. Your blood sits upon the Iron Throne, Rhaenyra, something that should satiate your desire for war. Bend the knee to Aemond, blood not be needlessly spilt again.”

Otto spoke like an old man telling his daughter or wife to buy something from the market that was not needed, and not at all like a man who was preventing a war.

Daemon quietly seethed beside his wife, looking at Otto, and having read two words that gave him the permission he so desperately sought. Daemon shifted, hand pulling the Dark Sister blade from her sheath and stormed forward.

“Fuck this.” Daemon sneered.

Ser Cole stepped toward him, and from above a dragon screeched.

It was a blur of guards, and the sound of men and their blades being unsheathed filling the air.

Ser Erryk Cargyll stepped to the side of Daemon, if not slightly more forward, blocking the blow of Ser Cole’s blade as Daemon moved towards Otto, whose eyes were wide in shock. Queen and King’s Guards met in the middle, a blur of bodies as Rhaenyra stood firmly, planted as she were.

Watching. 

With a swing of the Dark Sister blade, Daemon sliced through Ser Otto Hightower’s shoulder, the blade cutting through flesh and bone as though it was butter, carving down to the middle of his chest.

Blood sprayed from his wound, and the older man cried out into the air, the beating wings of dragons loud above them.

As the King Consort pulled his blade from the Hightower Lord, who stumbled backwards on shaky legs, Daemon swung the Dark Sister blade into the air once more, connecting with his neck.

His body landed on the floor before his head did, which rolled downwards into the chaos of the guards and knights who fought, mouth open and eyes wide.

Ser Erryk blocked another swipe of Criston’s blade, who came at him harder and faster, anger and desperation in his eyes. Ser Arryk, his twin, steadily approached the two as he battled through the sea of fighting.

A few of Aemond’s men had turned back, running down the path to try to get back to their ship, to send word to the King, but a large shadow loomed above them, and with a cry, Baela screamed out her deathly command for the very first time.

“Dracarys!”

Moondancer, a slender and pale green dragon with pearl like horns, opened her jaws and a plume of fire was cast over the Green deserters. The flames devoured the men entirely, who screamed in agony, trying to outrun their burning flesh, before dropping to the floor below, silent and stiff.

Baela, to prevent any more attempting to escape, landed against the path, the large claws of her dragon digging into the stone sides, much like how Rhaenyra had, many moons ago.

Moondancer screeched, head down and long at the backs of Aemond’s men who turned to face the dragon in fear, swords lifted in a pathetic last chance of defence. 

It was an opportunity that Rhaenyra’s men did not let pass. 

And an opportunity Daemon didn’t either. 

The Dark Sister blade cut through three men, and Jacaerys upon Vermax landed behind the Queen and her men, a subtle threat, and a vow of protection for his Queen Mother.

Vermax growled deeply, teeth bared, whilst Rhaenys continued to circle atop Meleys from above, searching the skies for any sign of her cousins.

Ser Cole, sensing that he was fighting a losing battle, did not give up, and came at Ser Erryk brutally. The twin stumbled backwards, Arryk moving towards Cole’s side as Criston's blade barely just missed the twins face.

But as Ser Cole was occupied, and Rhaenyra watched from behind stony faced, he did not see the shadow that passed behind him, nor did he anticipate the thrusting of the Dark Sister blade through the pummel of his chest.

Ser Erryk Cargyll took advantage of the opportunity, and turned to face his twin brother, a man who was the exact image of him bar small scars upon their bodies, and if you had asked Arryk a year before, he was taller. Their swords clashed together, moves and skill mirrored as both men had grown and trained together side by side.

Daemon Targaryen, the once Rogue Prince and now Rogue King, a man who was seasoned in war, and battle, and swordsmanship, stood behind Ser Criston Cole, blade in hand as it penetrated through the top of his chest under his shoulder. Blood dripped from its tip thickly as he looked down at it, eyes wide in shock. 

Daemon’s silver hair, now streaked in blood, lifted gently in the breeze that rolled past.

The drops of Ser Cole’s blood was loud in Rhaenyra’s ears as she looked at the man dubbed ‘The King Maker’.

With a large boot, Daemon kicked the knight off of his blade, and onto his knees.

Ser Criston Cole landed with a thud, looking up at Rhaenyra, eyes darkened by hatred. The blade in his hand had fallen to the ground, and blood dripped down from his wound thickly, splattering across the stones like many of his other men. 

Rhaenyra looked down her nose at the man, lips pulled back in a sneer.

It was quiet on the path, the only sound Rhaenys’ dragon calling out from above, and the sound of blood on stone. All other fighting was drowned out by the rage that pumped through her veins.

And as though connected through a bond, like rider and dragon, Daemon stood behind Ser Criston Cole, The King Maker; a man who had been sworn to Rhaenyra once before, a man she had once been intimate with when she was a young girl, a man who had witnessed the Gods affirmation that she was fit for the throne, a man who had aided the usurpation of the throne, a man who had broken his oath to the cloak, and Daemon heeded the Queen’s wordless command.

Daemon swung the Dark Sister blade one final time.

Thanks so much for reading along with me, if you wish to be added to the tag list please let me know :) Likes and reblogs are greatly appreciated ! Enjoy <3

Tag List:

@izzicle @ej-shitchats @may-machin @alegria1580 @witchy-jadda @videovampire @inkdelicious @queteimporta39 @virtualsweetsqueen @fo-cus @auratiqs @feyres-fireheart @queenofshinigamis @asoiafwh8re @teasandcrumpets @shesjustanothergeek @grungegrrrl@queenofsarcazm @marihoneywk @curlszx88 @virgogaia @loser-keiji @asoiafwh8re @whore-of-many-hot-men @vipervixxen @theonewiththeimaginaryboyfriends @watercolorskyy @lavendervisions @mazmack666 @chokefrog @orangejump-suit @nik2blog @serrhaewinin @ohemgeewhat @winxschester @cryptidsrcool @drinking-tea-and-be-obsessed @celestedonut @bloodyvelvet777 @iamapersonthatsalive @av-sos @yentroucnagol @sanzu-s @opheliaas-stuff @bellameshipper @maviee @persephonerinyes @neytiri-09 @ensnaredinwonderland @xbluegracex @sotragedynut @nattieot7 @shesawaywiththefairies-blog @coffedraven @prettycutebunny @celestedonut @the-jess-life @ssulfurr @out-of-life @madislayyy @crazylokonugget @cicaspair418 @katwmk @relminnie @milovart @teagrex @visenyaverse @bellameshipper @toodlesxcuddles @tempt-ress @dontmindmereading7 @qyburnsghost @55gyi53vtnquwziq5 @notnormalthings-blog @maidmerrymint @qyburnsghost @madislayyy @chelseaouat

Bold is who I cannot tag!

[clegfly]

Woo, it’s about time I made one of these… *cracks knuckles*

MORE ABOUT ME!!!!

HIIII!!!! My name is clegfly, or just cleg!!!! I’m an artist/ writer / professional paint drying critic/j. I’m just a silly girl doing silly things, don’t mind me. I use she/her pronouns and I am aroace!!!

LIKES

BULLET POINTS BULLET POINTS BULLET POI

Pancakes. All day. All the time. Everywhere, anywhere. Pancakes

That goes for bacon too

JELLYYYYYYYYYY!!!!1!1!1!

Why are these all foods what else do I like uhhhh

Warm. And cosy bed. And fire. And all that stuff

OLD COMPUTER AESTHETIC!!!!!! N64!!! WINDOWS XP!!!! ALL THAT SHIT

Bugs in theory

PLANTS

MUSICAL THEATRE

Graphic novels

Video games… ough my beloveds

Books

Okay now this is too long

Oops

Sorry

JELLYFISH JELLYFISH JELLYFISH

The ocean full stop actually

In theory

CHINCHILLAS

Uh

Yapping

Analysis

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anything on my DNI >:((((

Bugs in practice

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I’m literally hero omori

Commitment

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Internet drama

Anyone who gatekeeps like. Anything.

INTERESTS???

All day every day, baby.

MAINS

OMORI- main interest as apparent by one peek at my blog… The brainrot is immeasurable and everlasting. Send help. It’s been almost four years. I love this game, its characters, story, EVERYTHING so fucking much. I’m like a billion pounds in debt to it also. I will be homeless but at least I will have my big ass heromari collection.

PMMM/ Madoka Magica- my favourite show! Consisting purely of sparkles and sunshine!!!! Why are you crying??? I’m sure not!!!!

DDLC/ Doki Doki Literature Club- another favourite of mine!!! I see a well-written cast of characters I deeply relate to go through extreme horrific horror beyond any of their comprehensions and I’m SOLD!!!

Coraline- the horrors are all consuming, but at least it’s both a visual and extremely well-written treat!!!!

TADC/ the amazing digital circus- won’t lie, watched this show when the pilot dropped and LOVED it, but forgot about it after a while as it didn’t stick with me. Then episode three came out and I’m now reduced to a blubbering mess whose brain is now significantly comprised of two fictional chess pieces. What happened? I don’t know. Send even more help.

LITTLE GUYS THAT HURT MY BRAIN SOMETIMES

Petscop

Fnaf

BATIM/ bendy and the ink machine

BSD

Deltarune

Undertale

Hawaii: Part II

SUBJECT TO CHANGE BECAUSE IM PROBABLY FORGETTING LIKE 20 AND ALSO HAVE LIKE 20 STILL TO DISCOVER

HOBBIES?!2!2!

Ya!!!! :D

Art

The main thing I do on my silly little page!!

…in which the art is mostly unfinished doodles… but that’s okay!!!! We ball anyway

YOU CAN SEND THE CLEG REQUESTS!!!!! ALL DAY ANY DAY UNLESS I SAY OTHERWISE!!!! Do not expect premium quality though lmao. (And also nothing related to DNI. Shouldn’t have to say this but. Uh. Yeah)

You cannot yet commission the cleg :(

Writing

Currently on a writing hiatus and have been for a little while (5 MONRHS WHAT) but… i do!!!! That!!!! Aka I write fan fiction AGH

Mostly. Heromari stuff. Actually all heromari stuff. I think I have one fic that isn’t heromari and it’s one I co-authored I love them your honour…

Yeah

DNI

Bit of a bummer, but I gotta set my boundaries to keep the weirdos out!! That being said, do NOT interact with my blog whatsoever if you:

Are a shotacon, lolicon, proshipper, pedo, etc etc etc. (yucky. Yuck yuck yuck. Fuck off)

Are homophobic

Are transphobic

Are aphobic/ arophobic (why. Why are you even still here)

Queerphobic in general actually get OUT!!!!

Actively shit on any of my main interests. Like ACTIVELY go out of your way to tell me how bad it is (what. What is the point. Just go)

POST ANY NSFW FULL STOP!!!!!!! (I am EXTREMELY sex repulsed and have been especially lately, I will block you on SIGHT)

Are racists/ xenophobes

There is likely LOTS more I’m forgetting so I will update this later… also just saying I reserve the right to block ANYONE no matter if you fit into this criteria or not. If I don’t vibe with you I will politely block you and look the other way!!! No theatrics required

Anyway with all the negative stuff out of the way… I really hope you enjoy my blog!!! I’m just here to have fun honestly and express my ideas and passions and work on a little page of the internet so!!!! Hope you have fun too!!!! :D

[7grandmel]

Todays rip: 30/04/2024

guess what​?​?​?​?​?​?​?​?

Season 2 Featured on: Haltmann's Highest Quality Video Game Rips

Ripped by alden wolf

Requested by eg_9371! (Request Form)

It's Gonna Be May!

Saying that SiIvaGunner has in-jokes is perhaps the most obvious statement of all time - it is an in-joke upon which the entire channel is built upon. Yet there's obviously always different LAYERS to each joke, how obvious each of them are - and even today, there are many running gags on the channel that fly over people's heads despite having followed along for so long. Indeed, such is the case today with guess what​?​?​?​?​?​?​?​?, as requestee eg_9371 made me aware of a channel in-joke that's been running quietly in the background for the better part of seven years as of today. All of it built on one simple truth - tomorrow, it's gonna be may.

To reiterate - beyond the funny ha-ha memes we all know like Mr. Grand Dad and more, the SiIvaGunner channel is filled with little nods and gags that oft go overlooked. I of course covered 5 Nights of Snop Dog recently which is a great example of one, there's how rips like Kill & Learn (Recut Ver​.​) reference a running joke by long-time mashup artist Triple-Q about how Sonic Adventure 2 and Kill la Kill have an immeasurable amount of similarities, rips like Kermit in the Ocean being spiritual successors to very specific years-old rips on the channel - you get the jist. Some of these gags eventually get special attention on the channel through specific channel events, but such has not yet been the case with guess what​?​?​?​?​?​?​?​?'s joke - it's a gag that's stayed in the background since its very beginnings, and is only being kept running by a select few rippers. If you're listening to the rip now and it still hasn't landed yet, you may need to be enlightened to the ways of hit boy band *NSYNC. Or, well, really the band itself matters very little compared to the song of choice - It's Gonna Be Me.

Boy band music has a pretty interesting track record on SiIva in general, honestly. One Direction, Backstreet Boys, Boyzone, *NSYNC - to me the typical audience that obsesses over these kinds of bands feels at odds with my image of the average SiIvaGunner fan, and yet whenever they're prominently pushed I get reminded of just how good their music can be when wielded by good rippers. We've had two explosively quality events focusing on two bands in particular, the Big Time Rush takeover of Season 5 with Famous Surprise and the One Direction day of Season 7 with Beautiful Dreamer. *NSYNC hasn't had the same explosion of notoriety, but It's Gonna Be Me in particular has stealthily appeared on the channel every year since 2017 on April 30th. The joke is originally an ancient Tumblr meme from 2012, based on the way singer Justin Timberlake (yes!) pronounces the titular line in the song as "It's gonna be May" - the joke writes itself, and so Tumblr users have annually celebrated the day-before-May in Timberlake's honor.

eg_9371 writes in his request for this post that he's actually one of the most active rippers in keeping this joke going on SiIva for all these years, which I find extremely commendable, and it all started in Season 2, with guess what​?​?​?​?​?​?​?​?. It's a rearrangement of the song in the style of Donkey Kong Country 2's Mining Melancholy, a track most notable for its rhythmic percussion of steel drums sounding like steadily-working pickaxes deep in the mines. Its a fantastic track on its own, yet that percussion especially is a shockingly natural fit for the harpsichord(?) backing prominent throughout It's Gonna Be Me. Mining Melancholy's usual percussion and other parts of its melody stick around for large parts of the rip, making it more of a melody swap/mashup of the two than a full rearrangement a la Sog-Gee Ambiance - but it only serves to enhance the two tracks used, giving It's Gonna Be Me a more melancholic sound and Mining Melancholy a more self-assured feel in return, a super interesting blend of moods. I don't think the It's gonna be May bit would have worked nearly as well if the rip it was paired with wasn't of high quality, and guess what​?​?​?​?​?​?​?​? clears that threshold effortlessly - its a great rip that's made me appreciate the quality in both songs used.

*NSYNC rips have, again, continued to show up in all the years since, always on the dot, often even deliberately placed as the LAST rip of April 30th to drive the joke home. I think it's really sweet that the joke has stuck with eg_9371 in particular, likely in part due to alden wolf's initial contribution to the bit - he's even made It's Gonna Be Me rips on dates completely unrelated to the beginning of May, just because its a genuinely fun song to listen to. There's tons of these "secret" gags left to find on the channel, reoccurring dates or rips that reference jokes from other rips that are years-old by now - and really, a huge part of the fun in running this blog is getting to discover so many turning gears of the channel that I'd never been made aware of. Keep an eye out for these gags yourself - and keep an eye out on SiIvaGunner channel itself later today, to see if It's Gonna Be May for yet one more year.

[trulybetty]

Sunday Week In Review XVI & 2023 Wrapped

I feel like 2023 just started five minutes ago, am I the only one who feels like this year as passed by quickly but at the same time dragged its heels?

I've seen so many lovely end of year close out posts and years in review. I toyed with how I wanted to close out the year and what I could say that could sum it up sufficiently.

Betty rambles under the cut with this weeks reads if you're interested...

2023 has been a weird year if I'm entirely honest and somewhat isolating. I returned from mat leave, back to working from home, and having to scramble to make adjustments when things fell through. Which resulted in Mr. Truly and I working opposite shifts to ensure the S.S. Truly stayed afloat.

But during the last six months somehow I made it back to Tumblr, to an old account from way back when - pre-dating when the Canucks made it to game seven kinda old - I blew off the dust, cleaned house and made myself a little space. I still don't know 100% how it all happened, though I think it started with the Reddit forum.

You don't need to know the whole spiel about Pedro, because while we're here because of him, it's the community that holds us here. After floating and not really knowing what I was doing, I started to make connections within this community and finding a seat at the table (we'll come back to that) and I found joy again. I'd kinda lost myself in the fog that is half a dozen other titles/roles others looked to me as that had replaced just Betty.

I started writing, hadn't done that in years. I rekindled by love for graphic design, what I went to school for. I was reading books again, as well as so many great fanfics here. I even bought poetry books, something I hadn't done since I don't know when.

I've been really fortunate in my experience that I've encountered so many wonderful people. I may not get to be as social as I'd like to be, and I still have a fear of dropping into DM's & Asks unannounced. I have the shittest memory, if I don't keep a tab open or reply straight away it's sometimes days or weeks before I remember again. But I really hope that I've returned in kind what others have given me because I'd hate for anyone to feel like they don't belong here, because you do.

This community is a table (told you I'd come back) and it's size is immeasurable. It has no bounds and there's always room for whatever kind of chair you pull up and if you don't have one? We'll find one. Need to leave for a while? We'll save your seat. This my friends is a community, and if you're met with those who tell you the table is full, I'm telling you now, they're not a part of it.

Are there going to be those with more notes? Yes. Are there going to be people you're going to compare your writing to? Yes. Are you going to maybe want to pack it all in and delete your masterlist now and then? Yes.

But none of that takes away anything that makes you, you and what you bring to the table.

Life is hard enough without the added pressure of thinking you need to score imaginary internet points with stats and metrics that carry no value. I wish I knew the magic formula, because I'm still trying to figure it out myself, but let's try and be kinder to ourselves eh?

But I'm really going into 2024 with the goal of curating my own joy - whether it be indulging in the fanfics I want to write and read, more obnoxious coffees, a new fountain pen, giving myself permission to buy the fancy notebook, get back to baking or binging both seasons of Julia and pretending I can make one of her recipes.

So to sum it up, before this goes into a further incoherent ramble, this year has been about reaching out, starting connections and building something meaningful. I've met some amazing people that I am lucky to call friends and without their kindness and extending a seat at the table I'm not sure I'd still be around these parts.

Here's to more of that in 2024 - while I'm not always the best at replying to messages, my DM's and Ask's are always open, feel free to drop in at any time 💕

Pedro Tax™️ for your time...

T R U L Y  U P D A T E S . . .

December x 500 is complete-ish? Thanks to being sick towards the end of the month there's three entries missing, but I'm hoping to sneak them in during the new year! I'm looking forward to a quieter writing schedule that's for sure!

W H A T  I  R E A D . . . Didn't read as much as I wanted to this week - but I'm off this next week, so hoping to do a little more and get through some of my TBR list!

All I Want for Christmas (Frankie) by @morallyinept This was a delightful festive meet-cute that had me on the edge of my seat and also explores the character of Frankie and the ramifications of his actions on his friendships and his ex. 

All I Want (Will Miller) by @laurfilijames This was a bittersweet one-shot that touched on the idea that the festive season isn’t always for everyone and that you never know what’s going on with someone. 

I Put My Book Down to Be Here (Dieter) by @frenchiereading My first New Year’s Eve fic I’ve read this season and it’s so sweet and has a soft Dieter (my fave), who is still his chaotic self! I loved this from start to finish and such a great meet-cute!

Had Me Fooled (Dave) by @wildemaven Heidi has done such an amazing job with this mini series that can be read as a standalone or as a series. I love a soft Dave and Heidi does it so well. This last one had my toes curling in all their romantic glory and I will be revisiting this series again I'm sure!

Reunions (The Thief) by @ladamedusoif I'm behind on Rose's December prompts, but this was the steamy follow up to My Kiss, Only For You (go read that first, no seriously, go read it) and it was so delectable and my greedy self hopes we see these two again in the future.

Cookies (Tim) by @ladamedusoif Speaking of delicious things, this was as indulgent and sweet as the cookies made in this fic. Tim was one of the characters I didn't see becoming such a favourite this year - but I love seeing everyone's interpretation of him. This one here? In my top ranked versions 🫠

So here's to 2024!

Thank you for every interaction, reblog, or tag - every single one is held clutched to my heart in appreciation every time!

Stay safe, and whatever you're doing or wherever you are sending you much love!

[carica-ficus]

Review: Harrow the Ninth

Author: Tamsyn Muir

Date: 24/02/2024

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

________________________________________________________

My February has been very hectic (to say the least), but at least I finally managed to get my hands on "Harrow the Ninth" thanks to my wonderful boyfriend who ordered it for me. <3 And just in time too because I was in a mood to get back to The Locked Tomb. This series completely won me over.

"Harrow the Ninth" picks up sometime after the ending of "Gideon the Ninth", and follows Harrow as she tries to adapt to her new life as a Lyctor. Her powers are immeasurably stronger, but in comparison to the older Lyctors she is seen as feeble and incompetent. Even worse, she is seen as a liability to the Emperor. She needs to learn to defend herself and prove to be a valuable soldier to her God, but this all seems a menial task in comparison to more dire matters - the indescribable grief and significant vulnerability which render her useless.

The first thing that stands out in this book is the switch in narration. "Harrow the Ninth" is mostly narrated through a 2nd person singular and is only switched to 3rd person singular when referring to the events which happen at the Canaan house. It's certainly an interesting writing choice which might prove to be slightly confusing at first, but Muir's beautiful style and fantastic storytelling quickly compel the reader to simply accept the fact that this is how "Harrow the Ninth" will be told. If something, Muir has proven numerous times that her writing decisions are always made with a specific intention, so it's best to just accept them and enjoy her work as it is presented.

Even though the story is a bit convoluted at first, things slowly start falling into place. New characters are introduced and old characters are given enough space to grow and expand. Muir incredibly utilizes her universe and the story in order to create a completely new experience of the series, but also provides many scenes where it pays homage to the first book and its events. "Harrow the Ninth" is truly an upgrade from "Gideon the Ninth" in tension, emotion, depth and story.

On the other hand, I'd argue that its pace is slower than that of "Gideon the Ninth". Harrow is actively preparing for the most difficult fight of her life, but the process of it is relatively passive. There's a lot of things happening at the same time, but it feels like the plot isn't moving forward at all. This book focuses more on other elements, than on its story, up until the very end where it builds up to a thrilling finale. Taking into consideration the aforementioned switch in narration and unresolved questions, it is easy to understand why some readers find it all difficult to grasp. However, "Harrow the Ninth" is absolutely worth the time.

There's a lot of things to adore about this sequel, but the portrayal of Harrow's grief, feeling of inadequacy, and utter helplessness take the crown. "Harrow the Ninth" is a story about loss and about love, it's about desperately clinging to that which doesn't exist anymore - a home she cannot go back to and which will never be the same, a person who gave their life for hers, and to a version of herself that she no longer is. It is about change and the inability to finally accept it.

"Harrow the Ninth" is a worthy sequel to a riveting book such as "Gideon the Ninth" and provides a compelling foundation for the rest of the series. Although the novel might seem a little slow and complicated, my honest advice is to just leave all your expectations behind, keep reading, and accept everything as it is written. The book is highly rewarding and offers something new and different. Reading through it has been a beautiful experience and I cannot wait to continue with the series and to, one day, reread it and appreciate it even more.

[n0n-sen-se]

𝐊𝐍𝐘 𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥 𝐏𝐨𝐥𝐲! 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧'𝐬!

includes ;; kyojuro x gn!reader x tengen synopsis ;; these hc's basically assume the reader is just a civilian, but there's also a demonslayer!reader bonus ;) content ;; fluff. a/n ;; this prompt was recommended to me :) and by god I did it

☆☆☆ # general relationship !

days can switch between domestic bliss to overtly interesting dates. tengen always comes up with the initial idea for a date (like dinner or going to a festival) and kyojuro naturally likes to expand on it and plan accordingly. setting up times and places.

tengen loves the sounds of your combined laughter, it melts his heart when he realizes its happening. as the sound hashira it quickly become his favorite.

they're both very spontaneous and heart-led people, sometimes they need a reminder to slow down and think things through. . . and on the other hand its good for you to be dragged along into their antics!

whenever tengen sees you throughout the day he's always gonna give you a kiss or a hug / kyojuro will sort of linger to you, managing to rest his head on your shoulder and/or bury his face in your neck

kyojuro is the person you both kind of look to for support, he's a bit wiser and emotionally inept as a partner. In fact its easy for him to pick up on everyone's off days. the biggest supporter for you both!

speaking of which, these tall boys usually don't bend down to kiss you, they'll scoop you up right off your feet for one

when tengen cooks for you two he likes to do so alone, he's very capable of managing a fiery kitchen alone, you two would just get in the way so "sit down and wait until its done"

always communicating with you, about their schedules/work, just to talk in general or make plans. even with both of them are away at night or on missions

i also feel if you guys were ever cuddled together on a bed or a couch you'd be squished in the middle, back against tengen's broad chest and your legs being rubbed by kyojuro

there both always warm too (maybe too warm)

both tengen and kyojuro are relieved to have each other and you, having such strong partners puts their minds at ease.

tengen doing that thing where he fixes your outfits/appearances if a little thing is out of place.

tengen also brags about you two to anyone who's interested in listening to him / kyojuro's face turning bright red in embarrassment

kyojuro loves surprises! especially small ones like hugs (and it's pretty easy to sneak up on him too since his hearing is kinda shot)

kyojuro is very open about everything. doesn't hide much and tells you both how he feels / tengen keeps to himself a little more, at least the personal stuff (he thinks he can handle it on his own)

jealousy levels: tengen doesn't get too jealous, maybe frustrated is a better word. would definitely just drag you away and keep you to himself for a bit

as for kyojuro, he gets quiet and a little sulky (puts distance between himself and everything else) and would never question either of you of cheating

☆☆☆ # w/ a demonslayer!reader !

when you all train together tengen doesn't seem to take it all that seriously (just tries to show off his physique) and kyojuro likes advice on his form

massages for everyone after a hard day

honestly, they respect your decision to join the corps. sure. . . but they'll always worry for you.

the pride they'd feel if/when they witness you pass the final selection or become a hashira unto your own (it's immeasurable)

them just being stunned. absolutely gob-smacked at your abilities

or taking them down in training

overpowering tengen or outmaneuvering kyojuro would probably have their skin burning from the neck up. (its like the feeling of falling in love all over again)

them lowkey betting on which color nichirin blade you'll get

and they wouldn't fight over who would take you as a tsugoku (but then again . . . maybe) even which breathing-style is best for you

of course everythings your say in the end. . . but they're still gonna help

[doniaqueta]

Hello, knitters and crocheters of Tumblr

I come to you with an app idea, not to start any sort of crowdfunding, I don't want to start the next Tumblr scam. This is just something I want to do (actually, already started to do because I have bad impulse control) and I want to see if anyone else would be interested in using it. Again, I am asking for $0.00 MXN (that's $0.00 USD), and it would be a free app, no ads, maybe I'll slap a link to my Ko-Fi in it but that's it.

I am not doing this for profit, I'm doing it because it'll be useful for me, because the idea goblin in my head in insatiable, and my hubris is immeasurable.

Details under the cut, and I'll be adding updates as I go at the end of the post

The idea is:

An app to help you keep track of current knitting and crocheting projects, projects (aka patterns) you want to get to, and materials you need for all that stuff.

The WIP section would have tabs for each project you started, because if you're like me, it won't be just one. Each tab would include:

A row counter

Information on the pattern, like its name, some notes, the section you're currently working on (for patterns with different sections where the row count is reset)

A timer for the time you've been working on that project, because you deserve fair pay if you sell your craft so you have to know how long you've worked on it

The patterns section would have, well, patterns. For at least version 1.0, I'm thinking a list of PDFs that are stored in your phone and open in your phone's PDF viewer.

Finally, the materials section would just be a good old fashioned shopping list. You input items manually, you check 'em as you get 'em.

---------------------------------------------

Update 29/01

I've finished the mockups and the design of the icons I'll be using in the app. I'm going to start moving into coding territory.

Update 06/02

I've started the development and it's going pretty well. I opted for React Native, and while I have experience with React, I was a bit daunted by the idea of going into React Native. But! It's been smooth sailing so far. I've got a sturdy project structure, a functional menu, and an almost functional shopping list.

Update 19/02

I missed last week's update because I was very sick. For most of the first week, after finishing the shopping list, I worked on code organization and documentation. Now that I was sure that I was going to use React Native, I wanted to make sure the project is organized and sturdy. After that, I've been working on the pattern list, which has been a bit of a pain because I want to respect the user's privacy and security and not access the entire filesystem if I don't need to.

Update 27/02

I got frustrated with my troubles with the filesystem, so like any good procrastinator, I put that part aside and started working on other stuff. Apart from tinkering with the style and some background work to improve performance, I've also added support for different languages (currently just English and Spanish because those are the ones I feel confident I won't fuck up the translations, but I'm thinking of later asking for help with more languages), and I've started working on the WIP section.

Update 08/03

I haven't been able to work on it a lot this week because I had a lot of work to do for my actual job (I had to do my job at my job, shocking, I know), but last week I finished building the first functional version of the WIP section. As it is, it's only for one project, but it should be relatively easy to add tabs for multiple projects. I also had the chance to do something like a demo with a potential user, which is just a fancy way of saying I showed what I've done so far to my cousin (a great knitter & crocheter) and she really liked it :D

Update 12/04

Gap in updates because I was a bit overwhelmed by my job so I gave myself a lil vacation on this project. This week I got back to work and now the WIP screen officially supports multiple projects in different tabs. This means the WIP screen is done! Which means I will soon have no choice but to stop procrastinating the pattern list and face my filesystem problems oh no.

---------------------------------------------

The poll has ended but I'm leaving the results up:

[tobiasdrake]

Sonic the Hedgehog borrows from Dragon Ball a lot. It's an open secret. Everyone knows it. Even Frontiers could be argued to be Sonic's version of Namek, which gets harder to unsee when you notice Eggman's conspicuous saucer ships dotted around the landscape.

But do you know what strikes me as interesting?

The Chaos Emeralds are Sonic's version of Dragon Balls. In fact, they even shored up the number to seven, matching Dragon Ball, in the same game that they introduced Sonic turning into a Super Saiyan. Originally it was six Emeralds and no Super Sonic.

But the staying power of the Chaos Emeralds has far outshone the Dragon Balls. The titular Dragon Balls often end up being dialed down to a background MacGuffin. Characters will collect the Dragon Balls offscreen because they're too busy doing plot stuff to have a serious gathering arc.

Someone will just turn up going, "Yo, I got all the Dragon Balls. Let's resurrect everyone who died or whatever we're doing with them."

But the Chaos Emeralds have remained front and center for much of the franchise. Where the individual Emeralds got scattered to and how to bring them all back together comes up a lot in Sonic the Hedgehog, as does the lore and history behind them.

Why is that? Well. Here's the thing.

The decision to tie the Emeralds into Sonic's central themes and especially into Super Sonic makes them critical to the story.

Goku's Super Saiyan form is a power that he has, independent of the Dragon Balls. This works for the central themes of Dragon Ball, which are about hard work and self-improvement to overcome obstacles. Ultimately, Dragon Ball is the story of Goku, not the story of the Dragon Balls. So the gathering of the Dragon Balls often becomes a vestigial element.

Sonic's central themes are about the effects of industrialization on the ecological world. Eggman represents the cold, uncaring advance of "progress" turning forests into lumber yards and fields into factories. Like, the fact that his murder robots are being powered by innocent woodland creatures is pretty unsubtle about what's being said here. The Chaos Emeralds are much more firmly tied to that theme.

The Chaos Emeralds are presented as a natural resource. They're mysterious artifacts of ambiguous origin that produce immeasurable power. To Eggman, they exist to be exploited. They're something he can plug into his latest machine. He doesn't really care about the Emeralds, so much as he cares about what he can build with the Emeralds.

But the Chaos Emeralds aren't his. They're something raw and wild and majestic in their own right. They have no real origin because they don't need one. Nature doesn't stop to explain itself. Ultimately, Sonic's goal is typically not to get the Emeralds for himself, but to simply keep them away from Eggman's ever-expanding industrial engines.

Eggman wants to take these ancient, mysterious natural artifacts of immeasurable wonder and turn them into batteries. Sonic says, "No, you can't do that, I won't let you." This ties into the greater conflict, where Eggman wants to turn the whole world into a chain of factories, warehouses, and production lines, and Sonic won't let him.

Sonic is basically a more aggressive Lorax who isn't taking any of the Once-ler's shit.

By contrast, Super Sonic is the result of Sonic taking the Emeralds as they are and channeling their power in its raw, unmodified form. This is something Eggman would never do because, as mentioned above, he doesn't really care about the Emeralds themselves. But Sonic does. Sonic respects the unchecked power of nature. And he uses that power to wreck Eggman's stuff and free the enslaved woodland creatures within.

Dragon Ball was able to ultimately move on from the Dragon Balls because, at the end of the day, they're just a neat plot device that Goku can sometimes use, but they aren't really central to the story. The story is about Goku and his journey to expand his horizons.

But you can't really divorce Sonic the Hedgehog from the Chaos Emeralds. They are the ultimate manifestation of everything Sonic's story is about.

[semper-legens]

9. Piranesi, by Susanna Clarke

Owned: No, library Page count: 245 My summary: The Beauty of the House is immeasurable; its Kindness is infinite. The man lives in the House, he always has. There are fifteen people in his Halls. Thirteen are dead, one is him, and one is the Other. The Other calls him Piranesi, but that is not his name. He keeps a Journal of his life in the Halls, he reveres the Dead, he fishes and enjoys the bounty that the House will provide. His life is perfect. Until the Sixteenth Person arrives, bringing chaos and discord to the House.  My rating: 5/5 My commentary:

It seemed like everyone was talking about this book, a good while ago. I keep seeing it in the fantasy section at work (where, thinking about it, it doesn’t really belong?) and its simplistic cover and interesting subject matter drew me in. I kind of expected that I was going to like it. I did not expect that I was going to love it. I devoured this book in the space of about one hour, and I will probably be thinking about it for the rest of my life. It reminds me of the kind of spooky-architecture books, the creepy-things-are-happening-in-this-building books, the is-this-house-actually-sentient books that I’ve read before and really, really love. This book was great. Go read it.

The man (I’m not gonna call him Piranesi) is exactly my kind of fictional character. He’s an optimistic, cheerful man in a very bleak situation. He knows exactly one other person, who’s definitely exploiting him in ways that he is unaware of, but that the audience can probably decipher long before it gets explicit. He lives off whatever he can fish out of the flooded House, he is amazed with the Other gets him some new shoes, he is kind and compassionate and looks after the anonymous Dead, the skeletons that he has found in his explorations, revering them and treating them with empathy and personhood despite not knowing who they were or if they were related to him in any way. When he learns of a mysterious person stalking the Halls with malicious intent, he still wants to protect them from the flood that’s coming and leaves them messages trying to help and protect them. He’s my precious boy and I will protect him with my life, okay?

Once again, I’ve gotta praise the subtle worldbuilding going on here. The man’s world is so limited to what he can experience and what he sees around him - he has a perfect recall of his Halls and the shifting of the House, but doesn’t know what exists outside of his experiences. Which is where the first big hit of the book comes through - when the Other starts referring to things and places that exist in the real world, shifting the genre from vaguely fantasy to something strange and horrifying. The man, of course, doesn’t understand that this is going on; there’s a lot of dramatic irony going on with his character, and a significant amount of the narrative involves him figuring out things that the reader has presumably pieced together. Which sounds uninteresting when I phrase it like that, but trust me, you will be rooting for this guy to succeed all the way through. His character growth is tragic and organic and really beautiful to see.

The other thing I want to mention is that this book is told in the form of journals written by the man, which is both interesting to see his perspective on his life and world, and entirely horrifying when he finds a journal that was both written by him and that he does not remember writing. Again, another shift in genre from the lighter, speculative fantasy to the darker, more horror-based kind of narrative. He’s also a really fun voice, an engaging POV and his perspective is really cool, blending scientific rigour with an earnest imagination and faith. I just love this guy so much, is the bottom line.

Next up, some more non-fiction - time for some witchcraft.

[themosleyreview]

The Mosley Review: Killers of the Flower Moon

Capitalism is one of the core founding motivations in the creation of America and of the American Dream. Its a way of business that can make the poorest of men and women rich beyond their wildest dreams, but there is a side of that philosophy that is kept in the shadows. Capitalism sometimes brings out the best in genuinely good hearted people, but the majority are as crooked as they come. Its a beast that drives good men and woman to greed and unspeakable evils that are usually buried by powerful organizations and social clubs. This was especially rampant during the oil rush that led to many murders of Native American tribes and families all in the name of prosperity and industry. It's a tragic true story that is rarely told and what's especially rare is seeing those responsible being held accountable for their crimes. That's what this film does to an uncompromising degree. You get to see first hand the dirty negotiation tactics and how the slippery snake element of business effects the lives of many. It was brutal, somber, gangster, and exactly what I expected for the veteran filmmaker to showcase.

Leonardo DiCaprio delivers a stellar and somewhat restrained performance as Ernest Burkhart. He starts off as a good hearted man that has seen the horrors of World War 1 and I liked that he wasn't overly expressive about that. He was shy in the beginning and like many others during that time, he got the taste of money and that's when changed. He did have a big heart though, but it was greed that slowly poisoned him. Scott Shepherd was great and somewhat creepy as his younger brother Byron. I was always on edge once he was on screen as the plot went along. He was always there for Ernest, but he was definitely one of the dirtiest characters. Robert De Niro was excellent and charming as his uncle, William King Hale. He was always at the heart of the town and was a "man of the people". De Niro delivers that trademark wicked charm as he gets you to trust him. When he shows heartbreak, its underlined with a bit of unsettling delight as his plans begin to come to fruition and it makes him one of the despicable characters of the film. Lily Gladstone was out of this world as the wife of Ernest, Mollie Burkhart. The determination to raise her family while wanting to continue to keep her sisters close was truly interesting to watch. The amount of heartbreak and descent into despair was tough to watch and all too real. It was a testiment to her immeasurable skill as an actress. Jesse Plemons is fantastic as you'd expect as BOI agent, Tom White. The moment he shows up on screen, the tension for the villains of the story begins and he delivers a light hearted performance that is quick to be neutral in expressing an frustration. I loved how he calculated and figured out everything happening to the Osage people.

The score by the late Robbie Robertson was outstanding and was a driving force of the story. The opening piece as we get off the train with Ernest really set the tone of chaotic yet steady. He underscored the more dreary moments and helped elevate the few moments of justice. Its definitely going down in my book as one of the best film scores of the year. The tone of the film was consistent throughout and that was a reason why I say it was a good film to see, but not something I see myself just watching again. The message was clear and heartbreaking. The only problem I had is that the story perspective went from the Osage people to gradually increasing the focus on the white settlers. It never really felt balanced and that was something I felt was a missed opportunity. Overall, it still was a great story that needed to be told and it was handled by a master storyteller. Even with the 3 and a half hour runtime, I didn't feel it dragged once which is very rare. Let me know what you thought of the film or my review in the comments below. Thanks for reading!

[namandabu]

It's about the efficacy

"The sole intent of Shakyamuni Buddha to appear in this world was to spread the teaching of the Larger Sutra of Immeasurable Life."

This isn't a direct quote, but it is an idea that is repeated in Jodo Shinshu teaching over and over again. It is part of what is so hard to accept about the Jodo Shinshu teaching, coming from the west.

I'll be honest, I grew up with simultaneously a very secular upbringing, while also having my own interests in mysticism and western esotericism that, admittedly, gave me a very inaccurate image of religious experience because while I read all of this stuff, I never really practiced any of it. I knew a lot of book knowledge, but I was all armchair, no meditation cushion.

When I finally decided to get serious about religion (I.E., when I started taking Buddhism seriously), I was bad at it, naturally. Meditation was fun in bursts but anything more than 5-10 minutes made me dread it. I was too overactive. I still am to be fair. And then I found Pure Land Buddhism and I had two conflicting impulses, one of which won out in the end it seems. The first, was to scoff at it, as if it were not "real" Buddhism, whatever that means coming from an arrogant westerner. The second, was to feel as though this was a form of Buddhism that spoke to me as I am now. I'll address the first impulse, then the second.

The first impulse came from a number of things, such as how the after-death aspect of Pure Land reminded me of Christianity which I had long ago thrown into the wastebasket of my mind as a religious feel-good cop-out, mostly out of anger at some of its more "vocal" supporters. Or that the practice of chanting and relying on other-power felt lazy, as though I had any right to make such a claim, as some armchair esotericist, who had never engaged in any kind of truly intensive Nembutsu practice. And to be clear, if these were my feelings for Pure Land more broadly, you can imagine my utter disdain for Jodo Shinshu, which does not even require any intensive practice at all! And to say that this is the sole intent of Shakyamuni Buddha? When Vajrayana exists and yields enlightenment in this lifetime? I did not buy it at all.

Looking back now, I cringe at my arrogance and prejudice, both towards Pure Land Buddhism, and towards Christianity. Because Pure Land Buddhism (very much including Jodo Shinshu) is a full and complete path to Buddhahood that is suitable for practicers of all capacities, and I should not have painted all of Christianity as a bad religion just because christian extremists exist and this ideology is a problem in my country. And if Christianity and Buddhism have overlap, then that isn't a measure of what Buddhism gets wrong, its a measure of what Christianity gets right. Because even though I'm not a Christian I know for a fact that a lot of people, from laypeople to clergy, old and young, get a lot of peace and fulfillment from their lives as Christians, and that deserves respect.

Fortunately, the second impulse won in this internal battle. I decided to follow my intuition, rather than my preconceived ideas. I was lead by this to Amitabha. And though I scoffed, I could not help but to just try reciting his name. Just a little bit. I attended a few chanting services online. I did chanting in my practices at home, when I did them, and more and more I wanted to understand Pure Land Buddhism. The more I practiced, the more I felt as though I was at home in my religion. Saying Amitabha's name became a positive experience for me. And when I tried to leave it behind, I felt lost. Eventually, I gave up on seated silent meditation altogether. I wasn't doing it anyway, and thinking about Amitabha can be done anytime anywhere, so I just let my OCD brain run with it. It was as though I didn't have to practice anything, it was like walking or breathing. And this continued despite my lack of keeping of the Precepts, despite my lack of regular ritual practices, despite my own internal inconsistencies and prejudices. Amida was and is, someone who can be relied upon. Nowadays, Amida and I communicate regularly.

And that's the crux of the matter, isn't it? It's about the efficacy of it. You read these Sutras, and if you have my attention span, not the entire thing, but everywhere you go the Buddha is talking about Great Compassion, the Bodhisattva Vows to save all sentient beings, and all the ways that can happen. And in every verse, it is all about enlightenment as the dynamic activity of the intent to save all beings. And when you look at it like that, and you read just the beginning fasicle of the Larger Sutra, you realize it makes sense:

"The sole intent of Shakyamuni Buddha to appear in this world was to spread the teaching of the Larger Sutra of Immeasurable Life."

Were it not for the Jodo Shinshu teaching, as well as Pure Land Buddhism more broadly, I might not even be a Buddhist today.

[fluffyseal322]

my thoughts on "All about lily chou-chou"

I first listened to lily chouchou when trishie sent this to me and ever since i have been in love with some of her songs and other artists like hers. One significant artist I like is Ichiko Aoba. I envision some of my favorite music to portray something Kahono would sing in Black Clover. I fell in love with that character the first moment I saw her.

I discovered that lily chou-chou wasn't just music but she had a movie built around her music and it gave very significant meaning to the soul. The movie talks about the ether a lot in which I did not understand at all in the beginning. I watched the movie for the first time and I did not at all understand a lot of it and I was extremely lost but I was extremely drawn into it. I wanted to immensely understand it. Currently i've been really invested in understanding something beyond the human vessel and discover the depths of the immeasurable soul. It's all so confusing and so much of these experiences I can't put into words... So I am learning to expand my vocab knowledge and hopefully I will find it easier to explain something that requires deeper meaning, hence the drive to learn weighty words.

Watching all about lily chou chou is good for me because I am also interested in learning Japanese so this will be a movie I'd like to watch over and over again until I am able to understand japanese and feel I would come back to this movie in the future and hopefully understand it in a different culture maybe? Anyways, the reason why I like it so much is because even though theres very dark scenes it somehow found beauty in the darkness. I love entertainment like that. It just feels so realistic and romanticizing how life really is. It helps me relate because I deem the world to be highly difficult yet so beautiful and its like, you get what you deserve. How difficult life seems is eventually what life will reward you for with patience. I am proud of every human on earth for being alive today and as much as it's said, I've never really felt it's true meaning until writing about it in this very moment. The movie shows portrays it's energies and mood very well with the colors, the way the camera moves, music tells you a lot and in this movie, instead of it just being some background noise, it uses music as an expression just as realistically humans do. You can tell a lot from a person just by observing what music they've been playing lately. I'd very much recommend this movie and if I were to briefly explain it to another being i'd say:

" the movie will teach you something very important beyond just the human mind and heart. The heart and the brain is already very hard to understand and can be explained by just using todays technology and science... but not the soul. The vagueness of the soul is far more complex than the mind, body, and heart. It realistically portrays a human's personal ether and how it has come to build. I've only watched this once but I'm sure there's way more things I've missed so this is a movie you'd have to watch a couple times to see the bigger meaning. "

Thats it for now... until then "All about lily chou chou", I hope this movie will help me get a better understanding of the book I am currently reading about the soul. ("Soulmates: Honoring the mysteries of love and relationship" by author Thomas Moore) And it is quite the confusing book that I do not want to give up on. Lord please feed me the knowledge to understand the book better and the strength to keep reading it.

૮ ฅ• ﻌ -ฅ ა Signing off on my laptop... see you later Fuwa :3

[gemsondisplay]

To Catch a Moment – Gift Giving

Intro

From Me To You

Captivating a moment in time is a difficult and tricky goal. Although a lofty concept, it can be achieved with proper planning, consideration, and reflection. One often overlooked element of captivating a moment, particularly with proposing or gift giving in general, is the jewelry box. No one can argue that most commercial jewelry comes with a jewelry/merchandise box as a standard. This is a nice consideration from the jewelry, however, sometimes these boxes are a little tacky for the situation. After all, ideally you should only have to propose once. With that in mind, why not select a box that matches your loved one? For example, you can rebox the jewelry or gift in a nice lighted box, a real hardwood box, or imprint a special one of a kind message on the box. All of these little touches add enormously to the moment. Let’s elaborate on those three topics there in further detail. To reiterate: selecting a box or imprinting a box to tailor it to your loved one’s tastes.

Picking That One Out Of A Crowd

See Our YouTube Shorts For More Ideas

Selecting a jewelry box may seem like an unnecessary step, but the special moment would beg to differ. Typically a jewelry box is shipped with a box of its own. No one can argue that this is a nice and considerate gesture from the jewelers. However, sometimes these boxes are a bit simple, such as a plastic hinged box or a generic cotton filled box. These boxes are great for shipping, but may not offer that luxury one-of-kind feel you are trying to achieve. In this case, it’s nice to explore more interesting and dynamic options. One interesting box that Gems On Display offers is a hardwood black box. It’s easy to captivate hearts with its sleek design. This stunning ring box is the perfect companion for your precious jewelry.  Its glossy black exterior exudes a timeless charm that will make any ring shine even brighter. Opening this exquisite box reveals a plush velvet interior, carefully designed to cradle your most treasured items. That one aside, you may not need a pack of jewelry or merchandise boxes. Fair enough. One very amiable and unique option is a lighted box. These boxes are SO rare in the industry. This special design only adds to the moment. The light plays on the curves of the jewelry, which adds to the reflection, gloss, and look of the piece. After all, a diamond only sparkles in the light. These are far from the only options of a remarkable box. To give you a handful of different options there are: hard wood, clear view, leatherette, bronze, and so much more. So, when repackaging a gift or proposal ring, keep these little details in mind. It might add to the moment more than you would think.

You Could Always Print It

Printed Options

Another option to consider is printing on the gift box. As stated above, most jewelers include a gift box with their logo. This is a very nice gesture, however isn’t it more considerate to your loved one to include a special message to them directly. This exudes the feel of a remarkable moment for that one and only person. There are numerous statements that can go on a gift box. Some of these include a special date, a beloved song, a saying, or simple initials. At the end of the day, most of us throw gift boxes away or repurpose them. However, with this special touch, not only with the gift be a cherished reminder of the moment, but also the gift box in which it was given. Gems On Display does offer this service. Although our minimums start at 200 pieces, an amount below this target is also acceptable. There would be a $36 set up fee that would apply, but this would bring the cost of a custom gift box to approximately $50 give or take a bit depending on the style of box selected. This may seem like a tall order, but when taking into account the price of the gift, $50 isn’t as steep, and the added ambience to the moment is immeasurable. Of course, this is up for you to decide.

Let’s Wrap It Up

Whether you’re planning a romantic proposal, celebrating an anniversary, or simply cherishing a special moment, an exceptional box offers an extra touch of enchantment to the occasion. It’s a true keepsake that will be cherished for a lifetime.

[memequeme]

Related fic thoughts but also super personal things so it’d going under the cut (tw/cw for discussion of death)

I was super into comics in hs and undergrad and then i sort of fell off them when I got really into hockey

this week last year, one of my closest friends died suddenly and tragically. he was a very important person in my life and its been an extremely difficult year.

I went to my first comic con with him, we would go to our local comic book store together, we shared a lot of interests together, he was more into marvel than dc but it was still something we connected over.

I've always loved the batfam, their dynamic and the things they represent. there is a lot about jason and his story that I connect with and I relate to (as much as you can in a fictional comic book superhero story) I enjoy writing from his perspective and it feels like I can process through some of my own shit when I write him

I was thinking about this the other day but I don’t think its a coincidence that I got right back into my hyperfixation with the batfam around the same time that my friend passed away. (I had rewatched YJ in Dec 2021 and that triggered the whole thing but I think the timing was really apt)

And I don’t think it's a coincidence that I’ve clung to Jason’s story as hard as I have the past year. I think there’s something in me that wishes comic book shit happened in real life, that no one who died actually stayed dead. I think almost anyone who has experienced great loss feels that way in some capacity.

The way my friend died, we didn’t get to have a proper wake and burial, his body was never found so we only had a memorial service. There was no casket and there is no grave to visit. There’s an immeasurable lack of closure.

Death is not something foreign to me but I’ve never experienced such a lack of closure before.

These circumstances make the whole thing feel very surreal. The stages of grief come in waves and some of the time it just feels like he’s gone away on a long trip but he’s going to come back, he has to come back.

I know this isn’t the case and that he’s gone from me in this life, but that wish is always there.

The point of this post is that writing a story in which Jason gets to come home, in which his family and friends get to see him again miraculously, no matter how unrealistic it is, is therapeutic in a lot of ways.

The way I am choosing to write Bruce and the rest of Jason’s relationships with his family is the happy ending I want to see. I want to show that there’s a lot of love there and that often we take a whole lot of shit for granted every day.

I want to write a Bruce that would do anything to keep Jason in his life, to keep his kids safe and healthy and happy, no matter how often they butt heads on other things.

I look at my friend’s parents, the state that they’re in, how hard it is for his family, and I can’t imagine reacting in any other way to your deceased child coming home.

I don’t really have anywhere else to put this so it’s here, if you’ve read this far, thank you and hug your friends extra hard the next time you see them.

[tiktoks-for-tired-tots]

put under a readmore because 1. im about to yell 2. this talk is about religion and ancient christianity, so if u dont wanna read that, keep scrolling DISCLAIMER: I am not a scholar, nor am I an expert and this is going to be a very simplistic overview, in which I might have misunderstood details of the subject

the agnostics (one of the early Christians in like ancient Roman/Greek times) were a group of early Christians and sometimes Jewish people who were often criticised for their extremely different views on the bible etc, back in earlier days when the world of Christianity was still in its infancy and had many different interpretations. They were less a church and more a group of teachings. They may also be referred to as descendants of Seth (lmao), or Sethians, believed in the pursuit of knowledge and in a sense were ascetics. Gnosticism itself comes from the Greek for 'having knowledge' and they had the most fascinating creation myth ive ever heard. It's famously complex but I will try to summarize. in a nutshell first there was the Invisible Spirit (referred too for speeds sake here as IV) or The One. And let me clarify; it is -not- the god we know from the bible. IV was described as ; unnamed for there was nothing to name it, invisible because nothing could see it, unnutterable for nothing could comprehend it, greater than a god because it has no lord, and since everything exists within it, it created itself. "He is immeasurable, since there was no one prior to him to measure him. He is invisible, since no one saw him"-Book of John which is already gender as fuck and metal IV made aeons (theres a bunch of them and are actually the IV's thoughts about himself, rather than physical beings) And They all exist in the divine world, there's approx 24 aeons including possible jesus, but I'll get to that. also they all come in dual pairs. and one of the aeons, sofia (wisdom), had a thought of its own and decided it wanted to make something in its own image. it does not ask permission from anyone and gives birth, but bc it wasnt permitted the thing comes out misshapen and fucked up. ashamed, sofia hides the thing in a lil cloud bubble.

the thing ( ialdabaoth) has never interacted with the divine world or divinity and ignorantly assumes he's the only divine being. he creates a highly flawed, bastardized version of his dim memory of the divine sphere. And the thing he creates? It's our world.

and the aeons spend the bible tricking ialdabaoth / helping humanity, they were the snake in eden to help adam and eve, they tricked ialdabaoth into breathing into adam, lending him a spark of divinity enough that he could question god its so interesting because it means that they believed the god of the bible, the creator etc was 1. not the highest god and 2. flawed, ignorant or even evil in nature im going INSANE they believed christ was the creation of the invisible spirit and its first thought/aeon. and jesus came from the divine world in order to guide humanity away from god/ialdabaoth the gnostics believed in the gaining of knowledge in order to return to humanitys true home the divine world, and to know the truth of creation etc. With Christ existing to save humans not be being killed, but by teaching the truth of where they came from RANT OVER FOR NOW but i only scratched the surface, im still learning more ACTUALLY NOT OVER the reason we know most of this is because a LIBRARY was discovered FULL of collected gnostic texts, whereas before we only had hater's accounts of why gnosticists were bad. And in The Nag Hammadi Library they found """lost gosples""" (which are sensationalized a bit as clickbait sometimes.) which as far as i understand, some early christians believed in continuing the testaments with inclusion of other books and it really reminds u how there wasnt always the one bible, the gospels we know had to be collected and chosen to become what is so ubiquitous today, and there are other books. that doesnt make them more legit or occult or spooky than the gospels that became the bible, its simply a fact that christianity had an infancy of philosophy and debate and scatters of different ideas.

"hyperfixations are just like normal hobbies its nothing to do with being neurodivergent" ok yeah, normal people spend hours researching gnosticism on a frieday afternoon. my mistake, king.