#which isnt a lot but its weird it happened four times

[hiwelcometothemonstersancturary]

Am I right in assuming Vera and Angel would get along with one another?

They would be best friends! Although Vera is super grumpy and Angel is sometimes too tired to deal with that, they would bond over being promoted to parent by a bunch of toy monsters AND having to deal with the bullshit certain people left behind. They're two tired moms to me 💖

[itsguysnightitsironic]

Curse of the Nitghborne.

Guys, I haven't had time to play a lot, but I think the god of this land MAY BE the bad guy, but don't listen to me much.

Get up, folk! Flor did another Curse of Strahdanya crossover after Derek mentioned Lethica fused with Strahdanya as one throw joke in a stream!

The style is indeed inspired by the great art in Hades (the videogame), and the background is by Hades II.

The drawings without text:

Also, this was written at four in the morning, and I refuse to correct my insomniac ramblings this is the beta experience:

Lethica Nightborne as Strahdanya

----LORE------- In Barovia, a land of the dead, of suffering and grief, a new god has appeared out of nowhere covering the land in an eternal night... Of happiness? Lethica Nightborne, known as the Divine, has presented herself as the saviour that the land needed it, for what seems like decades. Her light, her kindness, her power, has changed the region and the hearts of the people to their core, as the land has been reborn... As there's new blood... But of course, you can't blame the nature of evil, so there's still death, suffering and pain in Barovia, but of course, our saviour, our dear wife, cleans it as she chooses. And if she asks for a sacrifice, of course, we will bring it to her, if she asks for the firstborn of every family, we will name the second after her, and if she asks that we take care of her dinner guests, we shall take care of them. -----DESIGN------- All I knew of Lethica was that I wanted her to wear a veil, and she couldn't only be a countess but a whole god, the saviour of Barovia. The churches don't talk about sun gods, only of her, their lady of dark, their god. Her dress comes from mixing Stradhanya's and hers, ending in a very 19th figure, with a bit of Mesopotamian fashion (the metal belts and sleeves with the double skirt) to show her as a figure of the past, as somehow older than she appears. Of course, she had to have some kind of knife so a knife fan, and a cup to show wealth and power (her cup is always full, full of what? Well, if you look at the very pale man under with not a lot of blood left-)

Marius Renathyr as Victoria Issacs

-----LORE------- Marius as a man of Ilmater seems to be QUITE interested in Barovia, a land of suffering and grief, to the extreme that seems too personal to just be a missionary mission to conquer pain. The university doesn't trust him completely, but somehow, even as a new member of the university and resident of Druskenwald, Marius had found a way to get the vote of everyone involved and the funds for the crusade. But what would be the real reasons for such travel? Or... WHO is the real reason? ------DESIGN ------ Inspired by the old missionary ropes of the 1800s and the typical vampire hunter, Marius stands as a very weird-looking holy man. From Victoria's design, we get the rosary turned into this over-complicated necklace and the ropes around his hips that reference the bloody ropes of Ilmater. (Victoria's, and now Marius, god.) And his sword has turned into a cane. (a cane with a blade.)

Yorgrim as Silas "Shepherd" Morgan

-----LORE-------- From the depths of Yona, a mercenary is invited to participate in an expedition to a land of death and suffering. He accepts stating that he has other business in Barovia and he could be glad to accompany the group under the condition he would work in peace when need it. Of course, he refuses to say the kind of work, you know, "professional privacy policy" and all. But by his reputation... It can't be good... -----DESIGN------- I was going to go with a funeral worker, but the scarf with teeth appeared and it changed the vision. The design takes more inspiration from Shepherd than Yorgrim, with the hunter theme, with the shotgun filled with blue magic and a list of hunts on red clay (that would be broken when the hit is eliminated.)

Briggsy "The Kutlass" Kratch as Professor Clayton Azran

LORE------- Briggsy may take the role of the professor, but he's not the expedition's leader. He's contracted by the University of Druskenwald to keep an eye on Marius (since the university is suspicious of the holy man). He accepts, without even wondering or caring what Barovia is, only happy to finally obtain a title under his piracy by the lords of Druskenwald. (He's getting paid to be a pirate, oh the dream!) DESIGN------ With his design, he was the last one and I was VERY tired, so... It's something weird? You know, a pirate trying to look like a "noble man". (but he's very much failing, he looks like a maniac I think)

Jericho Sticks/Virgil as Sarnax of the Edelwood

----LORE----- The cult of Gherix initially refused the university and the idea of letting them explore the runes in their forest. Until they accept but a month away from the expedition which is extremely suspicious. When the group found themselves in the forest, there he is, Jericho, a sacrificial figure of sticks and straw offered by the cult as a guide. (Of course, the poor, only brought to life months ago, strawman is a sacrifice in the name of Gherix that, by burning in Barovia, will give the god control over the whole region. / Indeed, Virgil is now Gherix we get an asshole god, give it up!) -----DESIGN----- Inspired by Wicker Man (giant figures of sticks and straw with animal sacrifices that are burned during Celtic rituals such as the Beltane.) Jericho is turned into a sacrificial figure who will burn when it's necessary by the light that keeps him alive.

Farryn of the Hartsblight as Kana Soyokaze.

-------LORE------- It isn't clear when or how, but Farryn ends up getting involved with the expedition. As a storm in sea, one day, the swordswoman appears out of the blue stating that she's also trying to find her way into Barovia. The deer refuses to explain her business with the "Divine" of all people, only holding her katana with anger and sadness, but she's clearly not looking to make friends. (She ends up being friends with the whole party.) -------DESIGN----- Based on the Sika deer (a Japanese deer), the design lingers more around the fusion character while keeping Farryn's figure, with the open skirt covered by her leg armour that goes up to her hips and the war paint, fur, and bone that stays in view.

[syncrovoid-presents]

I will continue being gone for a few days, sadly my original al plan of releasing the newest chapter of The Consequence Of Imagination's Fear has also been delayed. My apologies

Can't go into detail because its hush hush not-legally-mentionable stuff but today is my fifth 12 hour no-break work day. I'm also packing to move too in a fortnight (which is a Big Yahoo!! Yippee!! I'll finally have access to a kitchen!! And no more mold others keep growing!!! So exciting!!!)

[mesetacadre]

hi, i hope you dont mind me asking this question! i often come across lists of reading recommendations for communists, and they are usually focused entirely on communist theory. which is important and im already on that, but i wonder if you also have recs for learning about history? especially the history of the soviet union, but also other past and present socialist states. i sometimes find myself reading theory and understanding the concepts in a vacuum, but with very little understanding of the historical context they were written in, if that makes any sense. and id like to get a basic grasp of the history of various socialist projects that isnt just the typical western "the ussr was evil!!!!" thing

Hi, historical context is indeed very important for works of theory, especially if it's more than a hundred years old. Lenin's What is to be Done, for example, is very conditioned by its historical context of Russia still being predominantly feudal, with only a timid appearance of the proletariat in St. Petersburg and Moscow, and therefore the very first trade unions, which he talks about. The understanding of these texts is amplified, and quite often enabled by knowing at least the basic historical context. Below I'll list the historical works I've read (and others) with some commentary, but I encourage anyone who has something to add to do so, since I am as of only recently getting more into historiography.

Anything by Anna Louise Strong (I've read The Soviets Expected it (1941) and In North Korea (1941), there's also The New Lithuania (1941), The Stalin Era (1956) and When Serfs Stood Up in Tibet (1959) for example). Her works, which I'd consider primary sources since they are written from her own experience witnessing events and talking to a lot of people, are extremely useful if you wish to form an idea about how some aspects of socialist states worked. The limitation of her works also resides in this specificity and closeness, these are not works that present a broad view of long processes, but a slice of the present with the sufficient historical context. They are still very, very good.

The Open Veins of Latin America (Spanish versrion), by Eduardo Galeno (1971). This one is focused on the history of imperialism in Latin America, how it evolved from the moment the first Spanish foot touched ground to the time it was written in (It talks about Allende before he was assassinated but after achieving power, for example). Perhaps it's not exactly what you're looking for, but it contains very important general context for any social movement that has happened since 1492 to 1971

The Triumph of Evil, by Austin Murphy (2002). I have mixed feelings about this book. While it insists on this weird narrative of absolute evil, which IMO takes away a lot of value from the overall points made, it is an astonishingly in-depth analysis of the economic performance and general merit of socialist systems against their capitalist counterparts. Most of the book is dedicated to comparing the GDR to the FRG, and both the economic and social data it exposes was very eye-opening to me when I read it about 2 years ago. If you can wade through the moralism (especially the beginning of the introduction), it's a gem. I've posted pictures of its very detailed index under the cut :)

Blackshirts and Reds, Michael Parenti (1997). Despite the very real criticisms levied against this book, like its mischaracterization of China, it is still a landmark work. Synthetically, it exposes the relationship between fascism, capitalism and communism.

Red Star Over the Third World, Vijay Prashad (2019); The Russian Revolution: A View from the Third World, Walter Rodney (2018). I'm lumping these two together (full disclosure, as of writing I'm about four fifths of the way through RSOtTW) because they deal with the same topic, Prashad being influenced by Rodney as well. Like both titles imply, they deal with the effects the October revolution had on the exploited peoples of the world, which is a perspective that's often lost. Through this, they (at least Prashad) also talk about the early USSR and how it functioned. For example, up until reading Red Star, I hadn't even heard of the 1920 Congress of The Toilers of the East in Baku, or the Congress of the Women of the East.

From here on I'll link works that I haven't (yet) read, but I have seen enough trusted people talk about them to include them

How to Cast a God into Hell: The Khrushchev Report, by Domenico Losurdo (2008). This one talks about how the period of Stalin was twisted and exaggerated through destalinization.

Devils in Amber, by Philips Bonoski (1992). This is about the Baltics and their historical trajectory from before WW1 to the destruction of the USSR (I'm not very sure on those two limits, perhaps they fluctuate a bit, but it definitely covers from WW1 to the 60s)

Socialism Betrayed, by Roger Keeran and Thomas Kenny (2004). This one deals with the process leading up to and the destruction of the USSR itself.

The Jakarta Method, Vincent Bevins (2020). This is about the methods the US used in the second half of the 20th century to stamp out, prevent, or otherwise sabotage communist movements and other democratic anti-imperialist movements.

I know some of these aren't specifically about socialist states, which is what you asked, but the history of its opposition is just as important to understand because it always exists as a condition to these countries' development and policies chosen.

[ends-chronicles]

Why does Alan keep duplicating stick figures?

now I get it, its some gag or something, or to show off more fighting scenes with even more characters. But Alan has done this "duplicating sticks" thing pretty much almost 5 times.

why?

Don't get me wrong I love when sticks get duplicated! Showing off their teamwork and fighting combat is cool!! >_<....

though its happening a lot now, for no apparent reason.

first it appeared in AvA1, with victim cloning himself. He does this is a weird way, none which I've seen the others do. He pulls himself out of his files icon(?) physically and boom, alive clones! who shakes victims hand. The fandom likes to make these clones all have their own personalities and names, since they act pretty different from eachother and have each of their own weapons.

Second was with Purple in L.O.L. In Purples very cool cloning spread (yes im going to call it a clone spread). It shows later on that Purple wasnt really there after all, but rather controlling their clones. Purple also mightve made the clones beforehand with code. [So not physically].

Third was in the exact same episode with T.S.C at the ending. TSC clones themselves same dramatic way Purple did. Clone spread..

Fourth way was in AvA 10... In The Box, where victim tortures Chosen for information. He clones himself again, second time hes done this! Victim sure loves cloning himself...

Though, not physically, since he isnt controlling anything in the box, but just Agent. He orders Agent to clone him. (I find it interesting how all stick figures communicate with body language. I also find it interesting with how aggressive victims body language is). Four extra clones... wonder why he can't make a whole ahh army atp. Agent brings them in by copying victim on his panel.

Fifth time was recently with Greenscreen. (Thats what everyone is calling him)... he duplicates him with a button in Adobe. Nothing really interesting about this, though I will look more into this after.

Alan really loves duplicating his sticks, huh.

Though is there a difference between some of these clones? Most interesting clones were victims, as he physically pulls them out of himself. Not with code, not with a button but just pulling them like real beings. Is there a difference between clones and duplicates? how one side might sentient while the other is simply a copy of their original?

All the clones we've ever seen are only shown... fighting.

That brings us to the real question: can clones/duplicates ever have sentience? Can they be different from their originals? Where do they pull the line at control of free will at?

[wrens-versus-the-world]

ੈ✩‧₊˚Maybe if I paint over my past with pretty lies I'll begin to believe them, and finally let it go ˚₊ ‧✩ੈ

M. list

(I will try to keep up with this but I make no promises!)

also I tend to post more on Wattpad so...

also, some of the links may not work (it's because I am still trying to fool around with tumblr and how it works :D. So if something isnt finished/ a oneshot then a link may not work)

(also I'm not sure where to formally put this, but I do read asks/ the questions (so if you have any requests I may do them if I have time))

Bungo Stray Dogs:

Fyodor:

A demon's promise (Demon! Fyodor x human! reader)

In which all you wanted was to finish up your homework and go to sleep.. at least until a certain demon showed up and made you an offer you couldn't possibly refuse

(Wattpad link) (tumblr link)

Osamu Dazai

Four Years

In which you come home to see your boyfriend, drunk, sad, and most regrettably contemplating his life.

(NOTE: this one-shot has some mature themes (i.e. depression, suicide attempts, and alcohol), so if you're not comfortable do NOT interact with this)

(Tumblr link)

Various

Books (Various BSD characters X reader)

A bookworm, seeking to get away from work travels to Yokohama, Japan for an extended vacation, only to be captured by an anti-ability organization *does not follow the main plot! BSD belongs to Kafka Asagiri

(Link to Books masterlist)

-------------------------------------------

Genshin Impact:

Harbingers

Intertwined with the inhuman (Inhuman! harbingers X Human! reader)

In which Y/n L/n finds herself intertwined with the inhuman. A lot could happen in two months

(On wattpad or here)

Ayato

"Aha no" K. Ayato x Isekai! reader

In which Y/n l/n gets isekaied into one of her favorite games : Genshin impact. The only plot twist is that she gets isekaied into the body of a high ranking noble in inazuma. that same noble is to be wed to the infamous Kamisato Ayato.

(On wattpad or here)

-----------------------------------

Jujutsu Kaisen:

Itadori + Sukuna

Just a Dream | Itadori Yuji x reader x Sukuna (soulmate AU)

In which a girl from our world sees her soulmates in her dreams but never remembers them.

(On Wattpad or here)

------------------------------

Mo Xiang Tong Xui Inspired works: (AKA TGCF, MDZS, and SVSSS)

He Xuan

An Angel's Predicament | Demon! He Xuan x Nurse! Reader

in which a nurse summons a demon with some excess blood from a blood transfusion (for fun), but now he won't leave them alone.

(joking)

(On wattpad or here)

Ripples in the water | He Xuan x Shi Qingxuan (modern au... its weird)

Fate is cruel. Or maybe not as cruel as He Xuan once thought.

Or… Heavenly officials never reincarnate, until two do.

(On AO3 or here )

-----------------------------

One Piece

Transmigrator's Guide to Faulty Fan-fiction (various one piece characters x reader)

Synopsis: A tired person graduates college, soon after gets their dream job, and then gets isekai-ed into a fanfic they read as a teen.

Or, an aspiring chemical engineer gets isekai-ed into a college au one piece fan-fiction they frequented as a teen, making them go through college yet again (fantastic).

Located: Coming soon!

[little-doggy-girl-kisser]

making a my thoughts on rwby (volume 1) for @automaticsoulharmony and them only (pls the rwby fandom scares me)

okay so characters:

Ruby!!!! i lowkey love her i think shes an interesting main character but i wish the story treated her like one. I wanna see more stuff about her weapon making cause i think thats very cool. (also mayb more stuff about how shes 2 years younger than everyone else)

Yang??? is that her name, shes fun tho i havent really seen much of her personality and shes giving more fan service than anything (i mean most of the girls r, those outfits...)

Weiss is def my fav so far cause she has a lot more fleshed out characteristics, i just wish when she like grew as a person it happened gradually rather than split second. Like i hate fauna but ohhhh nevermind i like them now. cause the show kinda backtracks on some of her growth as they still want it to be a plot point

Blake is cool i think its been set up for a really cool arc with the faunus and everything (shes my second fav)

fucking piss boy, i hate this man more than i can actually express, hes very much giving mary sue. hes done nothing but flirt with everyone and be shit at fighting but it feels like the show is about him

I havent really seen enough of the other characters to form oppinions on them yet but i love penny shes super cute!!

Plot

This is just me haing jaundice but the show really does center him more than the four main character, yk the ones the show is named after? I want the red headed girl to have a more interesting story arc than im in love with this dumb idiot who has done nothing for me pls

Im very glad we are getting a faunus plot line cause thats actually kinda interesting but the fact that its like an oppression storyline and there isnt a character that isnt as white as a sheet seems,,,, like a choice

idk its weird to have a 'fighting against ppl who are oppressing us just because we look different to them' when the difference is they are cat boys

other than that there hasnt been much plot development which makes sense but yeah

I enjoy the fight scenes tho

but yeah the writting is really shitty but it has made me actually laugh out loud multiple times (mostly ruby) its kinda hilarious in its terrible writing

I also love how the principle just is gojo

In general its okay, i just wish it focused more on the main girls (also im assuming they are based on fairytale but i cant for the life o me figure out who blake is based on)

[my-castles-crumbling]

hiya cas! i hope youre well 😊

so, i have some medical issues (nothing serious!! probably - im still waiting for a proper diagnosis but ive had a few appointments and tests etc and have been assured its nothing to be concerned about) and so i obviously have to go to hospital appointments sometimes for the aforementioned tests and discussions. it was scary at first (i hadnt been in a hospital since the day i was born up until this point, and i was 18 when i had my first of these appointments) but its easier now, but im still a little stressed

im not technically estranged from my family - i still live at home with both parents, and we're on decent enough terms - but we dont really have any sort of important conversations. or any personal conversations either. so i guess we're just not really close? idk. anyway, this has meant i have absolutely no idea what any of my family medical history is. i had to find out through my older sister that my father was diagnosed with diabetes four years ago (and she only found out because she worked at the pharmacy where he got his stuff from), and my eldest brother was the one who told me my grandparents' causes of death (they died before my birth and my parents never mention them), but they dont know any more than that either

this hasnt been an issue for me before, because obviously ive never needed to know. ive never been asked about it, but now that my own health isnt right, i kinda need to know. in my first appointment i got asked about it, but i told the doctor i didnt know and would ask at home

i did ask, to be fair. i spoke to my mother and explained why i needed to know but she just kind of... brushed it off? idk if thats the right way to phrase it. she said there was some vague thing about heart issues but she didnt say anything specifically, or which side of the family it came from, or anything all thay helpful at all

its so frustrating because im not the first of their kids to need this information. my sister has medical problems too (different issues than mine though) and our parents were no help with her either

i spoke to a friend about it last autumn when i first went to hospital and he looked at me so oddly, it made me feel so broken, i guess. apparently discussing medical history isnt a taboo subject in most households, because he knew all of his and he's never been to hospital for anything. but the way he looked at me like i was weird or something for not knowing was awful. again, it made me feel genuinely broken and damaged. it was kind of one of those moments where you realise 'oh, my family isnt normal' and it sucked, because i thought id had that realisation years ago

its happened with some other stuff too (i.e. telling parents about a relationship, friends, interests, spending time with family etc) and it just... it really sucks. i dont know what else there is to say than that ig lol

i was going somewhere with this ask, but ive kinda gotten off track and now i cant remember, soooo.... have a good day! thanks for reading my ramble 🥰

Hi hon!

I’m so sorry, whose moments of realization suck, truly. Please know that you did nothing wrong <3 

Because this is a health thing, I do have some advice for you (ignore me if you want!) There are forms on the internet that have questions about family history. Print one out and just give it to your mom and dad. Don’t give them room to question it. Say your doctor needs it, and you need them to fill it out.

I wonder, though, if your parents don’t share their history with you, they might not know their parents history. A lot of times, these kinds of things that happen in families are passed down. 

But yeah. Just give them a form and make it a health thing. You deserve that info. 

Again, please know that you are NOT broken, and it has nothing to do with you <3

(naming you medical anon)

[appl3-juice-box]

if you had a penny for every time you had a reptilian fictive in your system you would have 4(?) pennies

which isnt a lot but its weird that it happened four(?) times

I can't tell if this is Eli or Ember but either way, fuck you. Fynne is screaming about their coping mechanisms.

[infecto-groovalistic]

if i had a nickel for every time one of my fav metal albums was released four days after a major emo band broke up i would have two nickels which isnt a lot but its weird it happened twice

[hermitcraftkinfessions]

if i had a nickel for every kin ive had that were one of many alternate selves whos relationship with the original includes but is not limited to 'uncle/father figure' to 'brothers who mostly hate each other' id have four nickles, which isnt a lot but its weird that it happened four times

-a red king named pom [3L+] [the examples are from different sources]

sometimes it just be that way

-Mod hels

[ravio-the-cabinet-man]

if i had a quarter for each time my siblings ended up or nearly ended up with a permanent side effect from a medication, id have 4 quarters, which isnt a lot, but its weird that it happened four times.

[sneakyscarab]

another day, another touhou post! i almost missed the deadline on this one (not that it really matters, the pace is gonna slow down a lot in a couple posts anyways once i catch up). today's game is a bit of a weird one!

nina's thoughts on Touhou 9 - Phantasmagoria of Flower View

PoFV is a pretty strange game. instead of being a single-player experience like most mainline touhou games, PoFV is a competitive 2-player danmaku vs game. there is still a 1-player story mode, but instead of 6 stages and boss fights each character has 8 versus matches against other characters tied loosely together into a storyline.

the gameplay is neat, its honestly impressive how well the concept of a competitive danmaku battle actually works and it feels pretty natural. as usual the screen fills up with enemies and bullets, but stages dont have defined patterns or moments, instead both players keep surviving through an increasing onslaught of bullets and spell cards until one slips up and takes too many hits. destroying enemies creates a small explosion around them that deals damage to nearby enemies and sends weak bullets in the range to the other player's screen. if you line it up right you can get some nasty chain reaction explosions that can clear up your screen and really put the pressure on your opponent. in addition you can put more direct pressure on the other guy by building up your spell meter, expending it to summon powerful bullet patterns or even your own character as a boss fight onto your enemys side. while at times it can get a bit ridiculous (the two 'villain' characters have completely broken spell cards and insanely good ai piloting) in general the gameplay is fair and pretty fun!

as a fighting game of sorts, PoFV naturally has a rather large character roster, a total of 14 playable characters! we have the returners in Reimu, Marisa, Sakuya, Youmu, Reisen, Cirno, Lyrica, Mystia, Tewi, and Aya. Then we have 4 characters new to this game: Medicine, Yuuka, and the 'villains' of the story Komachi and Eiki Shiki. each character has different stats, shot types, zone shapes, and spell attacks, which makes for a lot of variety in the roster.

to try and unlock everything i beat the story mode for all 12 choices (Komachi and Eiki Shiki don't have a story mode). i didn't aim for 1cc's since the game doesn't differentiate whether you used a continue or not, but a couple of the runs happened to be done without continues: Marisa, Mystia, Aya, Medicine, and Yuuka. i dont remember enough about all the different characters bullets and stats to say that i really prefer any over the others, tbh if i were to play more i would probably just pick a character based on vibes alone. Marisa is my go-to generally, but im also partial to Cirno, Mystia, and Aya.

for the four new characters, theyre cool. Yuuka is probably my favourite solely because she gets a lot of cute art with Wriggle lol. for some reason the fandom is very split on whether Yuuka is an angry masochist or a lonely but wholesome flower lady. i think shes realistically somewhere in the middle. Medicine is also a neat concept, being an abandoned doll in a field of poisonous flowers who came to life through raw poisonous energy. Komachi is goofy, shes basically the grim reaper of Gensokyo but shes also really lazy and always slacking off, pretty much every singleplayer storyline involves her getting caught snoozing by her boss Eiki Shiki. Eiki Shiki herself is probably the weakest new character imo, its funny watching her judge all the characters supposed sins, but its really all she talks about, and her annoying fight isnt winning her any points for me.

PoFV is certainly a weird outlier in the series, but i think the gameplay does genuinely work pretty well! the idea of making a competitive bullet hell is so out there and they really put in the work to make it happen.

as always, thanks for reading! and if, somehow, someone is reading this who is remotely decent at touhou and wants to try playing the 2-player mode of this game with me, Please get in contact with me through whatever means works for you. i would love to give this a shot against an actual human.

[andromerot]

what fiction podcasts would you recommend? ^_^

man. being dragged into the cringezone. its ok... so from ages fifteen to seventeen i listened to a LOT of audiodramas and honestly a lot of them are not very good. but some are! and some are fun :) im making a list

mabel podcast: if you've followed me for over two hours you've probably heard of it is one of my favorite things in the whole world...i cant even begin to describe the plot but i recommend it to all of you because a lot of people on tumblr are like, into haunted houses, or into fairy folklore, or into fucked up codependent lesbians, or all of the above. so it truly has something for everyone. but its beautiful, it really is. will ruin all romance for you though. honestly its not even a podcast to me its more like a girl best friend. i can talk about it forever so if you have more specific questions about it feel very welcome to send them

i am in eskew: another favorite! this one is about very terrible city that loves a man very much and will not let him go #relatable. this one is a proper horror podcast though so i do not recommend it to anyone squeamish - but i really like it.

the silt verses: done by the same people as eskew, horror as well. i haven't finished it yet but its amazing. it's about gods. gods that are Weird.

welcome to night vale: this one is a classic (arguably, The Classic) and i think is a fundamental part of what is now considered cringe 2014 tumblr culture but honestly it is very funny and silly. its been going steady for like ten years, has over 200 episodes, which means it has some very bad seasons and some pretty good ones. i think its best era was like 2014-2016 or so but yeah it's very long and has some gems. it dares ask the question "what if a town was very fucked up?" which was then asked by four hundred other podcasts, all done badly. but wtnv is fun

wolf 359: yet another classic. fucked me up bad. its about a spaceship with some guys inside it. it predicted among us. the best character is hera the artificial intelligence with severe mental problems

the far meridian: this one is very sweet and tiny but i think its underrated. soft and surreal. a girl who lives in a lighthouse that moves every night searches for her missing brother and Encounters Situations

ars paradoxica: one of the few time travel stories i like in this whole world. i remember almost nothing about the plot itself but i remember it broke my heart a lot. a scientist accidentally timetravels to the middle of wwii and shes hired to do some war shit, which sucks for her but she has nothing better to do. that sounds boring but i swear its not. maybe it was i dont remember.

neighbourly: anthology based on a long street of fucked up houses or fucked up people living in houses. it has some pretty good episodes and some banger episodes. im friends in law with the guy who makes it. its cool

alice isnt dead: theres a woman called alice and she is dead. but, spoilers, she isn't dead. her wife starts working as a trucker trying to find her and goes all around the us trying to find her and things happen to her.

within the wires: its an anthology but each season is a story. the first one is really really good, the others are a mixed bag. its an alternate history thing but the genre changes

the penumbra podcast: this one has been added to the list with a huge sigh because like i cant lie it has been extremely influential to my life but also i hate it. it was very important to me. its bad. don't listen to it. unless you're a mentally ill teenager or you like old women a lot maybe try it out then. the old women are not the main characters

anyway yeah like getting into indie podcasting like this really altered the way i saw media from a young age and even if some of these are not as good as i remember them being i do recommend the experience. the only ones i really listen to now are the first three and every once in a while i catch up with the last but im angry about that one. hope at least one of these is to your liking. listen to mabel

[sufranstevens]

if i had a dollar every time the bitch in a story in a media im consuming studied art history i would have 4 dollars which isnt a lot but its weird its happened four times in a row now

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

hello it is Aeon again, im not sure if that is the right nickname that i chose last time though..

id need.. support and validation i guess? because this wont leave my head anymore.

TW for mentions of abuse (no details though). also TW for mental health professionals.

so i managed to get into therapy like a month ago and today i told her that i feel guilty and bad for thinking of how my parents treated me as abuse (even though i know it was atleast somehow damaging) because i didnt think they are bad people. she then proceeded to ask me what i meant with "abuse" and made me explain to her that i meant them emotionally abusing me (i sadly dont remember all of the conversation anymore). i feel like she didnt really react to me literally telling her that i feel guilty that my parents abused me and ive had that happen so much that i dont feel understood by things like that and that makes me unsure if i should even continue seeing her (i also just had a psychiatrist not believe me and thinking i was "just depressed" when i was literally not functioning and reliving the worst time of my life).

i know i should probably talk to her about it but i hate confrontations and i feel like i should be able to trust her to pick up on things like that?? shes not a mind-reader, i know, but im so confused about this, isnt she the professional?

(she has also told me that all of my previous professionals cant read minds and that they couldnt pick up on something that i didnt speak my mind about, when i said that i felt like nobody did anything to help me (which is a weird response to me feeling angry about past professionals when i was still in a place of abuse at the time i saw my first psychologist, and couldnt verbalise any of it and also didnt know a lot of things like that i was abused at all* or that i was an undiagnosed suspected neurodivergent kid))

*(just to clarify, me not noticing it was abuse was because it was normalised in my family. it still felt bad but i thought it wasnt that bad and that its just normal to go through)

im sorry if this is a lot of text!! :/

i hope you have a great day!

- Aeon (they/them)

Hi Aeon,

I'm sorry about what you went though.

It's important to feel heard and respected by your therapist. I understand how intimidating it can be to confront your therapist if they say or do something wrong (like being dismissive), but I think it's important to remember that a good therapist will take the criticism seriously and make an active effort to improve.

I'm also not sure if this is your first therapist but sometimes it's a trial and error process of finding the therapist that works for you. I've had four different therapists over the years and just had my terminating session with my current therapist a few days ago, so I'm on the search again. Just know that you deserve to be treated with respect, especially from someone like a therapist, and so if your therapist doesn't respond well to your confrontation, it may be worthwhile to look for other therapists. That being said, there is no obligation to confront her, as you're right that you should be able to trust her to recognize when she goes out of line.

One of a therapist's essential goals is to enter your phenomenological world and leave their biases or agendas at the door, meaning that they try their hardest to understand what you're going through and who you are as a person, and put any opinions or biases aside.

If you feel your therapist doesn't make you feel seen, heard, or appreciated, then that could be something to consider as you continue or terminate your therapeutic relationship.

I hope I could help, and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun