#which isn’t a bad thing is what i’m trying to say

[wooyngz]

oof ok...i got a lil carried away with this ngl. this is like 7,000 words.

okay so i saw a twitter post from someone who found this business card in their grandma's stuff for a ~doctor~ and ran with it! like this shit actually used to happen lol.

summary: you're a housewife who's unsatisfied by your husband. your friend tara suggests visiting dr. zayne who specializes in this exact type of issue.

warnings: doctor/patient dynamics. infidelity (reader does it). shitty ass husbands. sex (fingering, oral, p in v) umm yeah! reader is referred to as y/n

other warning, i’m not a fic writer person so if this is garbage, i’m so sorry. i’m also bad at endings & i didn't proofread don't kill me so there’s that as well but if you like it then yay!!

꩜ ꩜ ꩜ ꩜ ꩜ ꩜ ꩜ ꩜ ꩜ ꩜ ꩜ ꩜ ꩜ ꩜ ꩜

if this gets weird, she’s going to kill tara.

gently, with a slightly shaking hand, she knocks on the door in front of her. she makes a promise to herself to give it approximately thirty seconds before she turns around and flees. she can tell tara that she gave it a try and it wasn’t for her! she would never need to know that she chickened out, everything would be okay—

she’s snapped out of her thoughts when the door swings open, revealing a tall man with black hair and maybe the most beautiful green eyes she ever seen, hidden behind a pair of glasses.

he smiles slightly at her, nodding his head in greeting. she’s so stunned by him that she forgets that she should probably say something. “u-um, hi, i’m here to see dr. zayne?” she didn’t mean to phrase that like a question, she’s just so shocked by him. tara said he was handsome, that it makes his treatmtent easy, but jesus. “i have an appointment,” she asserts.

“of course, y/n, correct?” he asks, his voice like the most decadent satin; she nods. he steps aside, letting her enter the space. she takes in her surroundings briefly, he looks well-put together. she wasn’t sure what to expect when she’s told about a doctor who takes patients in his own home.

“let me start by saying, i don’t believe in the popular narrative that women experience hysteria,” he ushers her to a room with that doesn't look out of the ordinary. she knew there wasn't a bed, but rather a large lounge chair for her to sit on, which she does.

“i do, however, believe that women are often being mistreated and underserved by the men in their lives and i would like to help that.” he says, waiting for her to take in what he’s said and she nods. it sounds good to her. she also has never believed the whole ‘hysterical women’ belief that everyone wants to believe. maybe women just want to be listened to. maybe women wouldn’t mind being homemakers if their husbands would view them as a partner and not a live-in maid they can have sex with. her husband would probably disagree, but that’s why she’s here.

when tara told her about this miraculous doctor with magic fingers, she was curious. they often get together to share their woes, lamenting that ‘my husband hasn’t touched me in months’ ‘well mine does, but I’m not getting anything out of it. It’s like he isn’t even trying’ and overall just frustrated with their current sexual situations. it’s not like they don’t love their husbands, they do, but having mediocre sex day in and day out is growing tiresome, and y/n has found herself growing resentful towards her husband, and that’s not something that she wants at all.

“i agree with you. it’s ridiculous the things that people will believe. i’m sure my husband would never agree with me on it, but…” she trails off, bringing up her husband to dr. zayne feels like it should be forbidden.

“did you know which service you’d like?” he asks, shifting the conversation to the point of the visit.

she blushes, because tara had shared his card with her but she was too embarrassed to ask her what some of the services meant. “um…actually, i had a few questions about some of the things…if that’s okay?”

“of course, which one caught your attention?”

she doesn’t want to admit that all of them have caught her attention. focused tactile therapy - internal…circulatory stimulation treatment…client-led exploratory session… the list is intense and everything is very intriguing.

“um…dual…modality relaxation therapy?” she says, looking to him for a deeper explanation of just *what* that is.

he nods, “that's a popular one. dual-modality relaxation therapy would entail penetration with fingers coupled with clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm.”

she knew what she was signing up for when she came here, but wow hearing it out loud is so…lewd.

“i’d-” she clears her throat, “i’d like that…please.”

he nods, ever the professional. he motions for her to lean back.

“lay back, get comfortable,” he says, his voice soft. she does as told, gingerly lying back onto the comfortable chair. he watches her with gentle eyes, smiling softly as she gives him a small nod to let him know she’s content. “i’m going to remove your pants now, is that okay?”

“yes, that’s fine,” she says. goosebumps rise along her body as he unbuttons her pants, his fingers briefly grazing her waist as he works them down her legs and completely off. the rush of air on her now bare legs doesn’t help the goosebumps in the slightest, in fact, she feels them get worse. she’s left in just her underwear now, which isn’t something she hasn’t done before, she has been to the gynecologist before for her checkups but this context has a swell of warmth gathering in her lower belly.

“spread your legs for me,” he says, his tone even. she spreads her legs wider. “underwear is next, okay?”

she nods again, but then gets a thought that has her jerking forward. dr. zayne’s hands leave her underwear immediately. “i- i didn’t…i’m not…should i have trimmed?” she usually does for the gynecologist, just for the ease but she didn’t even stop to think that she might want to do the same for dr. zayne.

“no, that’s not necessary, i don’t mind at all,” he reaches back to the top of her underwear, “may i?”

“yes…yes, sorry for startling you,” she says, lifting her hips slightly to help him pull them down.

“you don’t have to apologize. if, for any reason, you’re no longer comfortable or wish to stop, i will stop.”

first, he spreads her open, and she feels herself blush. she also can’t be sure, but she thinks she sees him take a shuttering breath. after a moment, he takes his thumb and gently begins to circle her clit. immediately, a shiver goes down her spine, a small whimper leaves her throat. he meets her gaze briefly before he starts to circle a bit faster. her breathing picks up, her mouth falling open around a silent moan.

this feels good. this is what she’s done the few times she let her own hand wander down to explore her body.

“i’m getting you ready for my fingers,” he says, then his thumb slips down to her entrance to gather the arousal that has already began to pool there before returning to her clit. the wetness changes the feeling a bit, but it’s still do good her back arches a bit when he returns. he stays there a while, repeating the same movements to work her up.

she doesn’t realize it until she opens them, but her eyes have slipped closed. when she opens them, she sees dr. zayne reach over to grab a bottle of what she knows to be some type of lubrication. he stops touching her clit, two of his fingers are at her entrance and she watches as he bites his lip ever so slightly before discarding the lubrication. he looks up at her as he slowly pushes two fingers inside of her.

she feels her eyebrows furrow in pleasure, her jaw going slack at the feeling of having him inside of her. he takes his time, slowly pulling out and then pushing back in. it’s like he’s trying to learn every part of her.

his fingers graze a spot inside of her that makes her involuntarily moan loudly. she immediately blushes, her attempts to be demure have gone out the window. she’s opening her mouth to apologize when dr. zayne hums happily, focusing his attention on that spot again and flexing his fingers against it. stroking and rubbing in a slow, steady rhythm. “there it is,” he says, continuing his movements, “does that feel good?”

she can’t open her mouth to respond, can’t bring herself to say, yes, yes this feels better than anything I’ve ever felt in my life but she nods, because she needs to him to keep going, she never wants this feeling to stop. she’s making noises now that she has never, never made before and she has half a mind to feel embarrassed by it, but it’s only half of her mind so she shuts it down quickly and lets herself get lost in the feeling.

“you’re so wet, have you ever had this done to you before?” dr. zayne asks, and it’s then that she notices the obscene squelching noise that’s currently filling the room. she doesn’t know how to explain that, no, no one has ever done this to her before. of course she’s had sex, she is married, but her husband’s idea of sex is missionary until he reaches his completion. oftentimes, she isn’t even fully aroused enough, but she’s gotten used to it. assumed that maybe that’s just what sex is.

dr. zayne spreads her legs a bit further, opening her up more to him and then he’s returning his thumb to her clit. it’s then that the pressure builds, when she starts to feel an odd feeling. she fears she may urinate all over the place if he doesn’t stop. “d-dr. zayne, i think i’m going to…mmph i think i’m-”

“it’s okay, don’t fight it,” he says, continuing his ministrations.

she takes his advice, trusting that he knows what he’s doing. she leans back and lets him work over her body.

when she orgasms, she knows she’s certainly never felt this before. he gently works her through it, and she can hear him murmuring kind words but it’s hard to make out over the ringing in her ears, over the pounding of her heartbeat that is pounding behind her ears and between her thighs. gently, dr. zayne slips his fingers out of her, walking to the sink to wash his hands before returning with a warm cloth.

“i’m going to clean you up now,” he says, starting at her inner thighs. “you did so good for me.”

she blushes at the praise, hisses slightly when the cloth touches her overstimulated pussy. it’s then that she notices the prominent bulge in the front of his trousers. she peels her eyes away quickly though, and makes a mental note to tell tara. he takes his time, thoroughly wiping away the evidence of her orgasm before he offers her underwear and pants back.

at the door, she hands him the money. she so desperately wants to set up another appointment, as soon as humanly possible if she had her way, but she isn’t sure she can get away with spending the money without her husband wondering what she’s going. with a small smile, she says her goodbyes to dr. zayne.

꩜ ꩜ ꩜ ꩜ ꩜

she feels…light. she feels happy and content.

“you’re in a good mood,” her husband remarks when he gets home. she smiles at him, walking over to kiss his cheek. “about damn time.”

not even his shit attitude can bring her down today, not after her treatment. she laughs lightly, floating back into the kitchen to bring dinner to the table.

“how was work?” she asks, scooping mashed potatoes onto his plate. she’d made his favorite—roast and mashed potatoes—simply because she felt so good when she went to the grocery store, she didn’t mind that it takes a long time to cook the meat. she didn’t mind that

she finds her husband staring at her, a slightly confused look on his face. “my favorite food…you’re in a good mood…who died?”

“no one, silly!” she responds, but now she’s going to start getting defensive. why can’t he just enjoy dinner? Just be happy that she’s happy? “i started a new treatment with a wonderful doctor, and my mood has been great all day.”

this catches his attention, he raises an eyebrow at her, silently asking her to continue.

“tara mentioned it to me. apparently she’s been getting treatments for a month or so and she said they’re life changing.”

“life changing…” he echoes, taking a bite of his roast. she rushes to fill the silence, feeling the need to defend herself.

“she has never felt better! and at such a low cost, i couldn’t help but give it a try. i can attest, the treatment is sort of life changing.”

if he’s suspicious, he doesn’t show it. maybe he simply doesn’t care all that much, and that doesn’t surprise her at all. he’s been more-or-less indifferent with her since they were married. they eat mostly silence for the rest of dinner, though at the end he does agree to set aside a monthly budget for her to continue getting her treatments, “if it keeps you in a good enough mood and out of my hair.”

that night, when he climbs on top of her she welcomes it, wondering if her husband can replicate the same feeling that dr. zayne gave her. she is left with disappointment when he doesn’t, but she doesn’t find herself feeling anything but giddy at the idea of returning to dr. zayne as soon as possible to get that feeling again.

꩜ ꩜ ꩜ ꩜ ꩜

she sets up another appointment embarrassingly soon after her first. she called dr. zayne the very next day after getting the green light from her husband, and made the appointment for exactly one month from her first. she doesn’t let herself feel too bad about it, though. it’s how he makes his money, and with her husband’s approval—and money—she’s incredibly eager to go back.

she’s more confident as she knocks on his door this time. she’s prepared, and she knows exactly what she wants and she even gave herself a little trim. she tells herself that it's not for any reason other than cleanliness, but deep down she knows it's because she hopes dr. zayne likes it.

she expressed to tara that she may have developed a tiny crush on the doctor after her first session, and was assured that it's only natural, harmless even. she tells herself this small little action is all she’ll allow herself to feed into the crush.

when he answers the door, she can’t help the smile that breaks out on her face. he returns her smile with a warm one of his own, stepping aside to let her in. this time, she know’s where she’s going and beats him to the room. she hears the quiet chuckle he lets out and feels butterflies erupt in her stomach.

“welcome back,” he says, she gets herself comfortable on the chair, fanning out the skirt that she wore. pants were too complicated, too much to take off, and she wants to feel his touch as soon as possible. she wonders if she should get right to the point and remove her panties, but she figures dr. zayne will probably do it for her.

“it’s good to be back,” she responds, “thank you for your last treatment, really, I haven’t felt that happy in so long. my husband almost thought i was a different person.”

he clears his throat slightly, nodding. “i’m glad to hear that. did you want the same service as last time?”

“actually, i was hoping to try the oral treatment?” she looks up at him from where she’s sitting and she swears she sees him swallow hard, like he’s nervous about something but he very quickly masks it with the same professionalism that he showed the last time she was here.

“oral treatment it is, then.” he walks over to where she’s sat, dropping to his knees before her; she feels her heart rate pick up at the sight. she pulls her skirt up for him eagerly, he smiles to himself. “i’m going to remove your underwear, okay?”

she nods, getting ready to lift her hips and help him get them off. soon enough, she’s bare for him again and he’s gently running his hands up her inner thighs, leaving goosebumps in his wake.

she almost feels self conscious when he spreads her open. admittedly, no one has ever done this to her before and she’s not sure what to expect. her husband makes excuses whenever she brings up the subject of him going down on her, usually after she’s come up from going down on him but there was always a reason he couldn’t so she gave up asking.

she shudders when she feels the warmth of his breath on her, bites her lip to keep her noises in when she feels the warmth of his tongue lightly lick at her clit. it’s a weird sensation, she doesn’t hate it though.

after a few teasing licks, he brings her clit into his mouth, sucking on it until she can no longer hold back her moans. he sucks and licks, swirling his tongue around her clit before

she doesn’t know what to do with her hands. she’s overwhelmed by the pleasure and wants nothing more than to grab onto something. she balls her hands into fists, gripping onto the fabric of her skirt for dear life.

dr. zayne notices this, licking two stripes from her entrance to her clit before pulling away and looking up at her.

“you can hold onto my head if you’d like, if that would be more comfortable,” he offers. when she looks between her legs at him she feels like she could come right then and there. his pupils blown wide, her arousal coating his mouth, dripping down his chin. she nods at him, gently running her hands through his hair to grab on while he reattaches his mouth to her cunt.

“t-that’s so good,” she gasps out, involuntarily gripping onto his hair tighter, he doesn’t seem to mind. “oh, god, you’re so good at this,” she feels like she needs to tell him, to let him know that she’s enjoying herself.

he brings his hand up and presses two fingers at her entrance, pressing in slightly to see if she’s wet enough and when he finds that she is, he’s pressing two fingers in, curling them in just the perfect way, just like he did last month.

she short circuits, she’s sure of it. she’s cumming maybe a minute after he puts his fingers in her. he works her through it, stroking her as she slowly comes down from the high, gently licking at her clit until she has to squirm away from him at the overstimulation.

he follows the same procedure as before, quickly cleans himself up before returning with a warm cloth to clean her up. she’s basically floating out the door this time, stopping briefly to schedule her next appointment with him before she even leaves.

when the door closes behind her, dr. zayne quickly returns to the room where he grabs a handful of tissue paper and pulls his trousers and briefs down, just enough for his cock to spring free. he wastes no time wrapping a hand around himself, stroking from base to tip, gathering the precum that has gathered as lube. he’s always prided himself in his professionalism, never letting his mind wander, because this is a service, a medical service. but, god, with y/n he can’t stop himself.

she trimmed her hair for him, she’d made an effort for him. he’d never tell her that he preferred the hair, but that’s beside the point. she wanted to look a certain way for him. his cock throbs in his hand at the idea. he doesn’t think about the fact that she’s going home to a husband; he likes to ignore that fact, changes the subject if it’s brought up. he clings onto the false hope that she might feel something for him, even if it’s just lust…he’ll take it.

he thinks about the noises she makes as she gets closer and closer to climax. remembers the small gasp she takes right before she comes, how she tasted. he thinks about how he wishes he could spend hours buried between her thighs. he thinks about the way that she flutters around his fingers when he makes her cum, imagines what it would feel like to sink inside of her…to feel that fluttering, that wetness around his prick instead of his fingers.

he comes quickly, spurting into the tissue he grabbed prior. he cleans up just as fast, feeling the burn of shame at his lack of control. she’s going to be a problem for him, he can already tell. this lapse in control will happen once, he tells himself. he will indulge in his thoughts, his fantasies once and that’s it. should she make another appointment with him, he will conduct himself professionally, no matter how much it kills him to do so.

꩜ ꩜ ꩜ ꩜ ꩜

the professionalism flies out the window exactly three months later.

it’s her fifth visit, but it’s not her scheduled appointment time. she had called dr. zayne the night before to see if he could possibly fit her in the next day after yet another particularly mediocre (and she’s being incredibly generous) night of “sex” with her husband. at this point, she’s convinced it’s him and not her. she doesn’t feel bad anymore, doesn’t wonder what she’s doing wrong to make her not cum.

dr. zayne, of course, was very gracious and fit her in at the end of his day.

she shows up mad, walking right into his home, already ranting. he listens to her with a look of shock at first, that slowly bleeds into understanding and maybe a bit of amusement.

“he’s the worst! for god’s sake how hard is it to last longer than three minutes? how hard is it to at least try some foreplay before shoving your dick in, flopping around for a bit and then blowing your load? by the time it starts to feel slightly good for me, he’s rolling off and falling asleep!” she throws her hands above her head. she knows she’s probably being dramatic, but over these past months, her and dr. zayne have grown much closer. she’s come to like him as a person, not just because she has a crush on him but because of him as a person.

he waits a beat to see if she’s going to continue before he speaks, “it must be very frustrating for you.”

“ugh!” she exclaims, “it’s more than frustrating! i just want good sex. i want to be fucked i want to know what people rave about!” she looks at him, almost pleading. there’s no mention of actual sex in his services, she knows that, but she came here in the hopes that maybe he found her attractive. maybe they’d known each other long enough and he would throw her a bone and help out. as the seconds tick by, though, and dr. zayne has yet to rip her clothes off in his living room, she realizes she may have miscalculated, heavily miscalculated. she starts to backtrack, “sorry…i don’t- sorry i showed up here to yell and scream i don’t know what i was expecting you to do…”

she starts to head for the door but is stopped when his hand grips her wrist. she turns to face him.

“did you come here so i would help you?” he asks, his tone low, his voice gaining a huskier tone that makes her shiver. she opens her mouth to speak but closes it again.

“did you want me to explain to you what your husband is doing wrong? explain why that idiot cannot please you?” he’s coming closer to her now, slowly closing the distance between them.

“did you want me to show you how it’s supposed to be done?”

he’s right in front of her, she tilts her head up to look at him, her breathing starting to pick up. again, she opens and closes her mouth before simply nodding, not trusting her words right now.

“second door on the left of the hallway, it’s my bedroom. meet me there.”

she nods, stepping around him and hurrying to the room. she hears the front door lock click into place just as she opens the door to his room. she looks around, not surprised by his choice of decor, but the very comfortable looking bed calls to her and she sits down gingerly on the corner of the bed.

dr. zayne comes in shortly after, walking over to her.

“what your husband is doing wrong is he’s making it about himself,” he says, as he does, he begins to remove his tie. “he’s having sex with you, sure, but he more-so using your body as a means to get himself off. he’s not paying attention to what you like, what turns you on, what makes you feel good.”

his tie is off now, thrown on the ground nearby. he starts to unbutton his dress shirt, pulling it out from where it was tucked into his slacks. y/n watches his every motion like a hawk, wanting to take in every moment. “i would imagine he gets hard, maybe he asks you for a blowjob but doesn’t return the favor—may i?” he gestures to the buttons of her sweater, she nods, not taking her eyes off his bare chest. off the incredible expanse of his body. “he gets hard, humps you for a minute or two before he blows his load and goes to bed because that’s what he cares about. maybe he tells himself that you came, but he knows you didn’t, you know you didn’t, but he simply does not care.”

her sweater has joined his tie and his shirt on the ground. she’s in her bra and pants, while he’s left in his slacks, with a very prominent tent forming in the front.

“may i remove your bra?” he asks, his voice gentle again, and she nods. he expertly unhooks her bra and slides it down her shoulders, tossing it into the growing pile. her nipples pebble, not because his room is cold but simply because she doesn’t think she’s ever been this aroused before in her life. he gently pushes her shoulder, silently telling her to lay back.

“what he should be doing is taking his time. to explore your body, your beautiful body,” he kisses her neck, and she melts into the touch, a sigh leaves her mouth. he kisses down her neck slowly until he reaches her breast, where he circles his tongue around her harden nipple before pulling it into his mouth briefly. “when you have sex, you pay attention to what the other person likes,” he says, continuing to kiss down her body.

when he reaches her pants, he unbuttons them and pulls them down along with her panties, leaving her completely bare for him. she hears him whisper something, so low she can’t make it out but she thinks its somewhere along the lines of a swear. he continues his path, kissing down until he’s face to face with her pussy.

“foreplay is important, you should always prioritize it,” he says before licking into her. her back arches off the bed, her hand flying to his hair. he’s silent for a bit, eating her like he’s starved.

eventually he stops, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “sometimes you’re desperate to be inside of them, but you still need to make sure they’re taken care of,” he climbs onto the bed with her, hovering over her before he wraps an arm around her back and pulls her up so that they’re both in the middle of his bed. he kisses her hard, his tongue licking into her mouth easily. she moans at the taste of herself on his tongue, at the feeling of kissing him.

he leans back onto his heels and begins to unbutton his pants, quickly adding them and his boxers to the clothing pile. y/n feels greedy as she takes him in, his hard cock large and heavy between his legs. he smirks at her briefly before he reaches over to his nightstand and pulls out a condom. she feels a twinge of jealousy against her better judgement. had he done this before with other patients? he rolls it onto himself before kissing her again, and as if he can read her thoughts, “these are from my bachelor days, they don’t get much use anymore,” he says, a hint of something teasing in his tone.

she knows she has no right to feel relieved, but she does. he positions himself between her legs, his cock nudging against her in a way that makes them both hiss.

“when you have have sex, you make sure she’s wet, ready for you,” his fingers dip down and he groans at the pool of arousal that greets him, “just like that. and then,” he doesn’t verbally explain what’s next, he just does it and she shivers when she feels the head of his cock glide along her pussy, he dips into her for just a second, just enough for her to feel the stretch of him before he pulls back. “only when she’s ready…” he pauses, meets her gaze, searching for the green light, she nods.

slowly, he pushes inside of her. the stretch is so good she swears she can see stars. her hands immediately grip onto his shoulders, she needs something to ground her. he watches her the whole time, searching for any discomfort as he slowly pumps himself in and out.

she feels so full, he feels so good. “dr. za-”

“zayne. just call me zayne,” he says through gritted teeth, his pace picking up speed as he sets a rhythm that makes her toes curl.

“zayne,” she moans, her nails starting to bite into his shoulders. she feels better than she’s ever felt before, she feels an orgasm building rather quickly. she wraps her legs around his waist, needing to be as close to him as possible.

“i know, baby,” he purrs in her ear, “are you gonna cum for me?”

she’s not used to being talked to like this, and though it takes her by surprise, she loves it. it makes a whimper leave her throat, makes her nod eagerly.

when his fingers find her clit she’s done for. she comes hard around him, fluttering around his cock. she feels his pace start to stutter, he starts to moan softly at first, but louder as his thrusts grow sloppier. she can feel when he cums, can feel the throbbing inside of her and she wishes she could feel the warmth of his seed fill her rather than the condom. she knows that’s irrational though.

he gently pulls out, discretely rolling the condom off and throwing it out before laying next to her.

they lay there in silence for a moment, catching their breath and taking in what exactly just happened.

y/n realizes that what they just did crosses the boundaries of a doctors visit, what she’s been convincing herself she’s been doing for months, and went straight into cheating. adultery.

but honestly, what’s worse is she doesn’t feel particularly bad. in fact, she’s content right now, and whatever the future may hold for her and zayne, she’ll cross that bridge once she fully gets to it. for right now, she lets him clean her up, listens when he tells her that it’s very important she goes to the bathroom after sex. she lets him kiss her again when she returns to his room. she’s thrilled when she sees that he’s hard again and is even more glad that she’s able to return the favor for the orgasms he’s given her.

right now, in this moment, nothing else really matters.

[hitlikehammers]

🏀That One Time Steve Harrington Visited an Old Friend, Said Thank You 💕, Dished Some Gossip 💅, Gushed About the ♥️Love of His Life♥️, Offered Apologies, and Brought Their Favorite Flowers as a Perk 💐

☕️OR: 4/5 times Steve/Eddie talk to anyone but each other about their feelings (for each other), +1 (other time they turn around and talk to one another)

“Hey Chrissy-lis.”

The first time they’d met, he’d only just learned the word. She flitted around, so fast and wild, and he’d been able to get her to sit still long enough for someone to tie up her hair when he told her if she wanted to be a butterfly, she had to be a chrysalis first—and her in particular, because she was named just right for it.

She’d beamed at him so big. They’d been fast friends. Sports-spouses, someone called them by middle school. They’d laughed over it, but it wasn’t wrong. They grew up together, even if they rarely spoke, rarely saw each other in the off-seasons—a year off made a difference, for schedules and stuff.

And most of what they had in common was sports, anyway. And the shit that happened at home neither of them wanted to say out loud.

Steve thinks that’s what made them work. Neither made the other say it. They both just sat with it. Knew, and didn’t run.

He wishes he’d known she was hurting so bad. He knows he couldn’t have stopped what happened, no more than Eddie. No more than anyone.

Only Eddie and Rob and Wayne know that. They’re the ones who know what he does and what he feels out loud, now—at least more of it—and they stay.

But Chrissy, she’d brought her own little squad to meets, convinced Hawkins to have the most out-of-place little huddle of pompoms, every time Steve dove into the pool.

And Steve got good with his hair—and he taught himself to be great with Chrissy’s, even when she didn’t need the coaxing to keep still anymore.

“So I promised an update.”

Because he comes. He doesn’t stay long. Always brings flowers he holds on to until he leaves. He likes to think she’ll know he’s been here, if there’s any way for anyone to know anything after…

After.

“He is everything,” Steve tells her like a secret, like the little moments of the things they did trade—bits and pieces, school gossip, boys kiss girls kiss boys—between her sitting down and him spinning her scrunchie sky-high around one last time. “He is absolutely the one.”

He smiles—he’s trying not to feel like he shouldn’t smile at her headstone; she was so made of joy. She deserves more than just the flowers when he comes to visit to make sure her shines never dulled.

Or forgotten.

Which reminds him:

“I never did thank you,” which he regrets, because she should have known, but doesn’t punish himself for, because back then he didn’t believe it—or believed it, but with the wrong person, for a lesser thing entirely.

“For always telling me that I’d find that type of person,” and she always said that, whoever he was with would come to any game, any meet, any…any time they sat, him one bleacher above her to get her hair teased high before anyone else came in—she asked it the most about Nancy and he hadn’t seen it, the why.

“That I wasn’t delusional,” which he thought, for sure, once it ended with Nancy. “That I was worth it.”

That he’s starting to genuinely believe now. With Eddie. Who isn’t just the one. Who is everything.

“You were the only person who said it, for a,” Steve swallows hard; “for a really long time.”

Steve fucking hates the people who try, still, to say that some people who die were too good for this world. Chrissy was just too good.

Period.

“If I didn’t thank you enough, I’m sorry,” and he knows he didn’t. But he also knows she didn’t need him to say it to know he felt it—they communicated a lot in what they didn’t say, after all.

“I hope you know my whole heart’s in thanking you now.”

He walks closer to the stone, runs his hands over the top. Sometimes, here, he gets flashes of what could have been, so close, the man who’s his soul and then some could have ended up with a marker, here.

Now’s not one of those times. It’s happening less now.

He looks at the ring on his left hand, resting on Chrissy’s headstone. Maybe that’s why. Mostly he wanted to be closer. Mostly he wants to pretend she could feel the weight of it, the shape of it, and know how much has happened, in how it’s all turned out.

She was never the type to begrudge someone their joy even if she couldn’t find her own. He feels…he’s working on feeling less than horrible about telling her things like this.

He doesn’t actually believe there’s anything after death. Save he thinks he has to, now.

He cannot imagine an eternity that exists without Eddie.

“Thanking you with my whole heart in it, like, that’s a really big deal, now, more than it was before,” he starts to ramble a little around the ache in him, for the loss of her, for the things he has that she deserved too.

Not instead of him, he reminds himself in Eddie’s voice. That she deserves too.

It helps. Even if he says the same in reverse when Eddie comes to see her.

“Because being able to love like this, and someone to want it? To almost, like,” Steve huffs, shakes his head in the wonder he doesn’t think is ever going to die down; “welcome it with open arms?”

He looks at her name etched in the stone. Pristine.

But cold. Nothing like her. They didn’t understand her. He doesn’t pretend he did in just the role of sports-husband to his cheer-wife. But he thinks…he thinks he knew some things.

“My chest just feels fuller, bigger,” he says, tracing the letters, pressing warmth into them even for a moment, because it has to matter; it has to matter more than nothing. “Like my heart’s stretched wide all the time because it doesn’t ever have to shrink itself anymore just to sneak by without getting the shit beat out of it.”

He comes to the end of the deep-carved ‘M’. He kisses the rough top of the stone because, again. Warmth.

Even for a moment. Least she deserves.

“So my whole-hearted thanks, Miss Cunningham, means more now that it ever could have,” he whispers low, swallows against the tightness in his throat; “and it still couldn’t scratch the surface.”

He wipes at his eyes, knowing they’ll be a little wet even before he feels a single tear fall.

He’s not wrong.

“I’ll keep trying though,” he promises and then steps up again, crouches at the base.

“Let me know next time if the thanks feels bigger, like, critique my form, yeah?” he says as he props the bundle of echinacea he’s been holding, letting his cologne mix a little with their sweetness, a reminder she’s not alone when he leaves.

If there’s…any chance at all, y’know. Worth covering all bases, just in case.

“Nail that dismount in the stars, Chrissy,” he murmurs as he stands up and raps his knuckles on the stone one more time, like he always would, light against her shoulder when he’d finished, to her giggling as he tied off her hair:

“Can’t get a ponytail higher than the one you’ve got, now.”

1: Gareth // 2: Mrs. Harrington // 3: Wayne // 4: Chrissy // 5: ??? // +1: ???

💚

✨also on ao3

💫for @penny00dreadful—happiest of happy birthdays, my lovely 🖤

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divider credit here, here, and here

[shrewfern]

things about all the young dudes i really like (my atyd annotations)

note: part two!! here’s part one. if you don’t read part one, just know i’m reading atyd on a pdf file, and can’t see the chapters numerically. any chapters referred to will be done by name instead of number. also, fair warning, idk what’s gotten into me, but 3/4 of this is me simping for remus and sirius.

remus x lily? 👀👀

everyone but remus knows he’s gay and it’s KILLING ME.

^which isn’t actually true bc he is dating ME and is madly in love with ME.

‘At least Sirius blew up at you when you annoyed him, so that it could be quickly solved.’ (sigh…he’s perfect <3) ‘...and Remus would probably try to throw a punch.’ (sndvjkbfvk he’s also perfect <333333)

‘Lily sighed, heavily, “Why does it always have to be so black and white? No one’s good all over or bad all over, not even Slytherins.”’ W LILY!!!!

lily, my sun goddess, please be my friend.

sirius’ bag is an absolute mess.

i like it when sirius winks. he should wink at me SIRIUS PLEASE BE REALLDJKBFIWBJEFjn ebkjfwkjlefj.  sorry idk why i’m like this today.

‘Remus noticed that almost every girl in the crowd was giggling, or screaming Sirius’ name.’

‘limpy lupin’ 💀

REGULUS NOOOOOOOO!!! UGH i can’t finish drawing my regulus ‘heat abnormal’ fanart IF HE DIES IN THE QUIDDITCH PITCH; it won’t make any sense!

^oh, phew! he’s okay! shinda hensuu de kurikaesu kazoe koto ga haranda netsu

^also. i made the drawing. sorry for the shitty image quality, for some reason my dumbass decided to download it as a progressive jpeg. 💀

‘[Madame Hooch] managed to slow Regulus’s decent, so that his body appeared to be falling through water, not air’ OH MSKINGBEAN89 YOU BITCH.

remus wants to hit peter.

remus doing sirius’ homework to make him feel better.

peter thinks that the history music begins with david bowie (which is arguably true).

‘am i drunk yet?’ – peter pettigrew

remus is a nice drunk, sirius is a giggly drunk. oh, my boys, my perfect handsome boys <33

i can only imagine james and remus steering a drunken, grabby sirius and peter away from the honeyduke’s sweets.

‘yuh.’ – sirius black 435

sirius borderline sitting on remus’ lap in “fourth year: april”.

(sirius, to peter) ‘doesn’t the word “secret” mean anything to you?!’ OOOHHHH THE FORESHADOWING!

burnt out sirius save me…save me burnt out sirius…burnt out sirius…

^ALSO on the not of burnt out sirius, “pathological facade” by ghost and pals but it’s sirius?

remus having romantical dreams!

‘Sirius just raised an eyebrow at him. Remus poked his tongue out.’ I NEED TO DRAW THIS!!

remus slowly warming up to ‘girl stuff’. not warming up, per say, i feel that doesn’t have quite the right connotation; but just becoming more sympathetic and less bothered with it.

lily, mary, and marlene PLEASE be my friends!!

mary listening to dusty springfield while sobbing her eyes out.

remus making comical retching noises (which makes lily giggle!!) upon walking in on peter (boooo!! tomato tomato!) and desdemona giving their farewell snogs.

james and sirius, my little agents of chaos. <3

james potter inventing facetime.

i can’t read or think about anything train-related without inabakumore’s ‘lagtrain’ blaring in my head. 😭😭

oh, no, not remus’ ride back to london (fourth year) paralleling that of harry’s in the order of the phoenix!

why do trailer trash assholes get so offended when you use manners?? 😭

remus gayly side-eyeing grant’s hips.

‘Dear Moony, / I’m pretty sure I can get away with writing letters at least for now. I imagine they’re being read, but I DON’T GIVE A SHIT, DO YOU HEAR ME, REGULUS??’

‘Sirius, / Getting on with Reg, then?’

i LOVE how over the summer segments, remus slowly starts responding to his friends’ letters. i also love the letter-formatting chapters.

walburga is mad that sirius has a bunch of nude posters in his room bc the women on them are muggles, not bc they have their tits out.

GAY JUMPSCARE.

please let me be grant please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please pl

animagus foreshadowing got me going crazy.

NOW WE’RE GETTING INTO THE WOLFSTAR 💯💯

sirius eating a bowl of sugar to spite james.

i do NOT like how remus treated regulus in “year five: pain”. as someone who has been abused countless times for YEARS alongside my sister, i can confirm reg is not a coward.

IT JUST HIT ME. sirius saying, ‘anything for our moony,’ is the same as westly saying, ‘as you wish,’ in the princess bride.

end of “fifth year: moony & co.” got me GRINNING.

peter ‘cheese-muncher’ pettigrew

peter ‘squeaker’ pettigrew

peter ‘scabers’ pettigrew

peter ‘whiskers’ pettigrew

cheese-muncher >>>>>> wormtail

sirius ‘fido’ black

james 'rudolph’ potter

remus’ favorite soup is tomato.

i don’t like how sirius treats reg. i mean, he’s being abused, too. he doesn’t want to be abused, he doesn’t want to watch his brother get torn to shreds; he’s a boy, not a sociopath.

^i do get where sirius’ feelings are coming from, tho; i had a similar relationship with my little sister for a while under similar circumstances. i just wish he could see past that and get along with his brother! siblings are the coolest people when you can get along with them.

NOOOO REG WROTE THE LETTER. REG BOUTTA CRY NONOEUANUBADFibuairg SIRIUS PLEASE LOVE YOUR BROTHER

james ‘prancer’ potter

sirius ‘snuffles’ black

james ‘buckaroo’ potter

^’buckle up, buckaroos!’ – caitlyn jenner

remus and sirius howling together!

MAN i wish the marauders were real and i was friends with them, especially when i was younger

WHY WON’T PAGE 514 LOAD?!?!?!

oh, phew. there it is.

remus pierced sirius’ ear using his prefect pin and a potato.

i will never get tired of the ‘are you serious’ ‘no i’m sirius’ jokes.

sirius flicking his cigarette out the window immediately gave me ptsd flashbacks to bojack horseman flicking his cigarette off his balcony and starting a forest fire (i love metaphors for generational trauma!!).

‘“Ah, young love,” James chuckled, “Giving your girlfriend a goodnight kiss as your friends booby trap her exit points...”’

KISS KISS KISSKISS KISS KISSKISS KISS KISSKISS KISS KISSKISS KISS KISSKISS KISS KISSKISS KISS KISSKISS KISS KISSKISS KISS KISSKISS KISS KISS

waiter, waiter! more yaoi, please!

‘i can’t be gay! it’s illegal!’

dumbledore: 😈

i love the gay panic.

‘Bollocks. Shiting buggering bollocks.’

one-hundered pages in two hours let’s fuCKING GOOOOOOO 🔥🔥🔥💯💯💪💪👅🫄

mcgonagall is yay yay hooray

‘[sirius] would never do anything so reckless that Remus could not forgive him for it.’ 😬😬

NOOOO MARY WHO WAS RACIST TO YOU I’LL KICK THEIR ASS FOR YOUR maryiloveyoupleaselovemeback

feminist remus >>>>>>>>>>>

holy shit how is this already four pages?

‘What fresh hell?!’

‘“Coming up on your time of month?”’ 🏳️‍⚧️

remus’ first instinct is to disarm severus, and sirius’ is to set him on fire.

‘“We’re British. It’s always about class.”’

mrs potter wanted to make remus soup, but james knew remus would want something meatier. 

‘“If it took you that long to cotton on, then I’m very concerned about your OWL results...”’ if my mom said that to me i would actually shit a chicken.

‘“Yippee.” Remus said, sarcastically.’

oohhh is there gonna be a plot-twist where, like, greyback and remus are fighting or smth and greyback tells rem, ‘your dad didn’t khs, i killed him wahahaha’ or smth.

oh my GOODDDD i’m almost half-way through (625/1491) WHEN ARE THEY GONNA KISS AGAIN???

‘we’ll still see each other after school’s finished!! :D’ remus says to marlene, as if that was going to be true.

^i have a feeling it’s not.

redhead and the twink!!!!

mary charmed all the goblets at the gryffindor table to throw their contents in his face.

REMUS ASKING SIRIUS IF MARY BROKE UP WITH HIM (sirius) BC HE’S BAD AT SEX

remus and sirius were convinced david bowie was a wizard.

‘“Your ego is so big,” Remus continued, slyly, “When you were doing it with Mary you probably closed your eyes and imagined yourself!”’ DAUYYYMMMMNNN!!!!

oh my GOD this is GAY

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH

BAH

AHUHAJSHIDH

ADBHBIBDIUSBIBFIDABUFAB

h

“‘...it’s Padfoot’s turn to puke...”’

^does drunkenly puking into the same toilet bowl count as an indirect kiss?

peter turning into a rat and running away and placing the blame on sirius (before the whole canon-story thing).

oh my.

WOOHOO!!!

okay this is getting kinda long now, so i’m gonna cut it off here at “sixth year: new normal” and make a part three at some point.

[arottenlust]

Yeah this proves my point. ‘well he’s written like a black person so I’m gonna make him talk like one’ as if black men are the only ones who act like sluts and abandon their children like ok bruh

I’ll admit I got a little lost in the sauce saying ‘a Japanese man wouldn’t talk like that’ that’s my bad so yeah let me clarify:

Since I dont speak Japanese I cannot readily confirm it, but I dont doubt that his va speaks osaka ben or that he has a rougher manner of speech. the ‘yakuza dialect’ ur talking abt is just osaka ben, and its characterized that way simply bc yakuza organizations were bigger in southern japan. so its not really hybrid, more so one in the same. and the 1:1 to kansai dialects would be a southern accent, not aave..? like the kansai dialect has stronger vowels and harsher consonants, which, you guessed it, is also found in the Bible Belt of the USA. osaka ben is can be compared to a deep southern drawl, which yes shares words w aave but there is a difference. and u can tell when an author is writing a southern accent or not. like why is toji saying ain’t and finna and all this other shit but his accent isn’t specified in other places. You want to convey his manner of speaking? why doesn’t he curse more? why aren’t you using apostrophes to cut off the endings or beginnings or certain words? or changing words to fit his accent like turning ‘your’ into ‘yer’ or ‘to’ into ‘ta’ like so many people do when it comes to atsumu from hq? why have I never seen him saying yall?? look at the Eng dub of the game yakuza, they convey the yakuza manner of speech without shoving the same 4 aave slang in every sentence. the over usage of aave has bigoted implications, but it’s also just lazy. Some authors shove random slang in their dialogue and dont do anything else to express his accent. and a part of me thinks a lot of them aren’t writing him that way because they have osaka ben in mind. 🤷

but ykw I rlly don’t give a damn. if ur comfortable in ur writing then stay there Im not forcing anyone to do shit. I can think it’s lazy, questionable writing and u can ignore me.

and I never said no one else is allowed to use aave. like I explicitly said that’s not what I was trying to convey. of course people pick up manners of speech from the areas they grow up in, and of course it makes sense to use some slang when it comes to Toji. but it gets to a point.

the ma thing is .. whatever. I think it’s a little overused and maybe a teeny tiny bit cringey, but honestly who gaf. It can be enjoyable sometimes and fuck it I like cringey shit too

and i never said gege shouldn’t be influenced by other cultures. I never said shit about gege or his writing?????? this was about fanfiction. x reader fanfiction to be specific. So I dont know what the fuck ur talkin about there lmfao??? Like whatr u on

again this shit was never meant to be an attack. it was an observation. and everything that’s been said in response abt me being wrong falls ridiculously flat. so i still hold true to my original claims. thank ya gbye

people will write toji and make him talk with hella aave and EYE think it’s weird. outside of the fact that it just doesn’t mesh w his character and he literally doesn’t talk like that AT ALL I also think it’s weird that he’s the only one who (within some corners of the fandom) is characterized as talkin like that and u rlly gotta wonder why..

[dick-meister]

I’m unhappy.

This is gonna be the last time I say something about this so I don’t sound like a broken record player but this is gonna have all my thoughts I’ve been having recently about Adam, this fandom and so on.

First, I want it to be known that everything said here doesn’t apply to everyone and that a lot of this is built up frustration that’s reached a point where I cannot stay silent anymore. This stuff is supposed to be fun, I shouldn’t care so much and yet here I am.

I love writing Adam. I’ve always loved it and I still do now but I’m upset with how he’s treated and some of that blame falls to me, I understand that. I don’t like pushing boundaries, I don’t like making people uncomfortable and I try to remain realistic and balanced to everything that I do when it comes to RP. And maybe it’s because of that approach I’m in this position because I feel that many abuse that and see my character/characters as something to use in order to bolster the superiority of their own muses.

It’s the worst when it comes to Adam. I feel like most interactions boil down to making him or both muses miserable or antagonistic prodding between muses that go no where. I feel like I’m at a point where if Adam even breathes he’ll be ridiculed or scoffed at. He can’t tell a harmless joke without it being taken offensively, he can’t make any kind of comment about anyone at all ever because once again, it’d be scrutinized and go beyond banter.

If I allow him to get angry and lash out, he’s in the wrong. If I don’t let him get angry and lash out he’s in the wrong. No matter what he does, he’s in the wrong and the people I had to talk to about these things and relate to that no longer relate or don’t talk about it and that sucks. So it just feels suffocating and like a constant air of doom at all times no matter what interaction I have. Like a ticking time bomb that at any point, even if it’s a nice thread, it’ll go to the wayside.

It’s hard to come on here and feel like I’m walking on a thin line or that I need to be the one to change the direction a thread is headed or put in the effort to keep a thread from dropping because how many times do you think I’m willing to do a thread that goes

Adam: *Makes comment*

Someone: *You’re awful and you should feel bad.*

Adam: *Cool*

End interaction.

Like. This isn’t fun and makes me feel secluded to the point where I cannot muster the strength to send asks to people who I know like my muse let alone people who are new/have a certain negative dynamic.

I put so much time and effort to make a muse that could be agreeable, that could make you question moralities and junk like that but it feels like more and more each day people are here to just get a one up on Adam and that’s it. Im tired.

Im sad that when there’s like a mini thing going on with Adam that requires help from outside support, he’s let down by those who can help but choose not to (This is based off IC interactions by people who were participating not those who didn’t see/didn’t want to participate.) it was to the point where people who didn’t meet certain criteria to help considered making new muses to help which is nice and I fully appreciate it so much but the fact that it needed to get to that point in the first place is just… Sad. Idk how to properly explain it.

Unholy Crusade took a massive toll on me as an Adam RPer, it took a toll on a lot of people but it messed me up and I think that’s where a lot of this stems from. Starting that with a poly only to end up abandoned by said poly and having to deal with feeling excluded, neglected and abandoned really messed up my feelings with the verse. I love it, I love the conclusions people had but the road to get there was such a painful journey that is not recoverable and has had rippling effects throughout how my muse treats relationships, group verses and more.

I don’t really have much more to say other than small knit picking things. I’m just exhausted playing a character that is just doomed either by his own actions or actions done by others for the sake of self gratification.

Im sorry to anyone if I forced my muse onto you where he wasn’t welcomed. Im sorry if our RPing experience has made you feel uncomfortable/upset/hurt or any other negatives. It’s not my goal, I’d hate to do to someone else what I feel is being done to me.

Going forward, I’m gonna still be RPing off and on with verses I’m comfortable with and muses I’m comfortable interacting with. I’m gonna be aiming to staying away from dash comms and all that. I won’t be taking a break or announcing a hiatus or anything because I still want to interact but I just needed to vent. I needed to get this out. Even if this is all just a byproduct of my own doing or depression or anything else. This is where my head is at, this is how I feel, I don’t want anyone to change their character for me, I don’t want anyone to do anything special for me I just want people to be conscious of how much shit they’re throwing my way or anyone’s way.

It’s one thing to want and love angst all the time but it’s another to do angst and have 0 recovery through it or expect only angst out of the other person.

I know this is all a mess of paragraphs and feelings but it’s the best I can really do right now. If you made it this far, thank you, I appreciate you reading my words and I hope you have a good day.

[vellichorsdesire]

being horrified at your f/o’s acceptance of the bere minimum or even below that in a relationship and wanting to treat them how they deserve to be treated, full of respect and love and so much more— if they ever end up admitting that they believe they don’t deserve the work you put into being with them, or any other insecurity they might bring up, they’re always comforted by your reassurances even if you might not feel like enough for them, either. it’ll take time for them to get used to your love or really feel at peace with the fact that they deserve this, deserve you, but right now they’re sure of one thing: they love you immensely.

[picathartidae]

Yeah Davrin Week! I’ve been struggling to figure out the specifics of my Rook’s relationship with Davrin for ages, so this was good motivation to actually try to hammer out those details.

This answer might be a little more meandering than usual, because I’m sort of figuring things out on the fly.

What is your Rook's relationship with Davrin?

Where to even begin? It’s a bit of a mess, honestly.

They don’t initially get along at all, and it takes a long time for them to actually bond. They have a lot of things in common, but that causes disagreements more than anything else. Valentin tends to avoid interpersonal conflict as much as possible and is trying to keep his focus on stopping the gods, so it’s not as pronounced a rivalry as the one between Davrin and Lucanis, but it’s definitely there. And the fact that Davrin has that very active rivalry with Lucanis probably makes Valentin want to tear his hair out, because he and Lucanis have their own shit going on (he saved Minrathous over Treviso), and the fact that Val is the only one trying to be mature about it drives him insane. 

I wouldn’t say they hate each other (Val definitely dislikes Davrin way more than the other way around), but their relationship is absolutely on the more contentious side of things. 

They’re both incredibly principled people, but those principles don’t always align, and neither is willing to compromise. The thing that really sets Val off in the beginning involves Davrin’s banter where he declares that he wouldn’t have spared the Mayor of D’Meta’s Crossing (therefore implying Val had done the wrong thing). Which wouldn’t have been bad, but Valentin had not long ago listened to Davrin tell him about how the Wardens are great because anyone can join and everyone, no matter who they are or what they’ve done, deserves a chance at redemption. So he just gets intensely reactive in response, and furiously calls Davrin a hypocrite before storming off. Everything kind of goes downhill from there.

Generally, in those early stages, Valentin feels threatened by Davrin, and their more abrasive dynamic brings out an incredibly short-tempered and reactive side of him that he’s been frantically trying to bury and move past for years. Davrin's basically everything Val wishes he was (confident, handsome, masculine, Dalish), so he just kind of regresses back into a teenager as a defense mechanism. He misreads early interactions with Davrin as being dismissive and condescending, and the knowledge that Davrin is Dalish and willingly walked away from that life has a knock-on effect.

Davrin would be the first person to describe Valentin as being ‘hot headed’, even though Val is generally pretty conflict-avoidant and diplomatic, because Davrin just triggers the hell out of him without even meaning to. So he gets those angry and extremely defensive responses more than anyone else. 

They finally manage to figure something out following the destruction of Weisshaupt, when Val somewhat reluctantly tells Davrin about what happened to his own hometown Ventus, in an attempt to find some common ground. It helps humanise them both to each other, and gives them the encouragement they need to actually communicate. And it’s finding that understanding with Davrin that convinces Val that it would also be worth trying to repair things with Lucanis, as well. All of which ultimately helps him become the leader Varric always saw in him. 

So, they’re originally kind of more rivals than friends, but they get past it after some time (and going through some traumatic stuff together). It’s a lot of work, but they eventually become pretty close. Once they do, they actually work remarkably well together, and Val begins to treat Davrin as something of a second-in-command when they’re on the battlefield. They end up holding each other in pretty high regard, and become lifelong friends.

What do they like about him?

When it isn’t actively causing conflict between them, Val likes that Davrin is principled, dedicated, and believes in nobility and goodness in all people. He likes that Davrin cares very deeply for the people around him, and that he’s an incredibly compassionate person. 

What do Rook and Davrin enjoy doing together?

They probably spar a lot, and have a long, long list of rules when they do. They develop a lot of battle tactics and as a consequence from all the practice, and are an absolutely brutal duo on the battlefield because of how familiar they are with each other's fighting styles.

They probably also play Wicked Grace with Taash while everyone else is doing the book club, and Harding isn’t around to stop them (she’s trying to look out for their dignity. And sanity). Davrin and Taash team up for the sole purpose of defeating Val, and still manage to get absolutely annihilated.

Davrin and Valentin also seem to develop a habit of going to Arlathan Forest (notably Val’s least favourite place in the world, though he never actually tells Davrin this) for walks or picnics or what have you.

What do they advise him to do with the griffons?

Sticking with the theme of Val being a big fan of not clinging to the past and instead embracing an uncertain future, he suggests they go to Arlathan. 

He really just wants the griffons to be allowed to be animals, without the expectation of some lofty higher purpose. They should be allowed to exist, as they are, in whatever capacity suits them. He doesn’t trust the Wardens (individual Warden friends yes, but not the Wardens as an institution), after everything they’ve uncovered and gone through with Isseya.

It was probably a bit of a snap decision on his part, since he wasn’t expecting Davrin to ask, or to put any weight in his opinion. 

Do they think Davrin should reconnect with his clan?

I’m not sure Valentin has an opinion on that at all. As much as he wants to connect with elven culture, he’s finding that with Bellara, and Davrin’s experience is very different. And if there’s one thing Val does understand and relate to more than anything else, it’s feeling isolated and being treated like an outsider in your own culture, and how utterly damaging that can be. He wouldn’t feel comfortable giving an opinion either way.

Did Rook choose Davrin to lead the distraction team on Tearstone Island? Why or why not?

He chose Harding, because she’s his best friend, he’s known her for longer, and trusts her probably more than anyone else. He actually brings Davrin with him, because by this point in the story, he tends to keep Davrin close by on important missions as a kind of second-in-command, and has come to depend on him when in combat. Neither take the consequences well, but I like to think they’re able to bond and reaffirm their friendship through the ensuing survivor’s guilt, since that’s kind of how their friendship started in the first place.

Rook Intro Hour: Davrin

Good morning, everyone! As you may or may not already know, #DavrinWeek2025 is coming up from May 19th - May 25th, hosted by @datvcompanionweeks !

To celebrate, today's Intro Hour will be centered around Davrin!

How it works: I ask you a question about your Rook(s) and you answer it with as much brevity or verbosity as you desire. The easiest way for me to keep track of everyone is for you to reblog this post and add your answer, although you can also mention me in a separate post, if you want! You can do this whenever you want, and I’ll reblog it + add some comments! There’s no time limit— if you want to do the older ones, they are collected here! (The post is updated on Fridays!)

*Please be aware that if you rb RIH to a community WITHOUT rbing to your blog first, I CANNOT rb and comment. If you want me to comment, please put the post on YOUR BLOG first. Thanks!

Today's Question(s): What is your Rook's relationship with Davrin? What do they like about him? What do Rook and Davrin enjoy doing together? What do they advise him to do with the griffons? Do they think Davrin should reconnect with his clan? Did Rook choose Davrin to lead the distraction team on Tearstone Island? Why or why not? Lastly, if you want, write a unique banter between Davrin and your Rook!

Have fun, and be creative!

[robotwrangler]

Wow. We’re so back? I don’t know why but I have been feeling so great this week. And not just “okay” but actively happy, giddy, full of zest for life and whatnot!

[lightblueminecraftorchid]

My roommate and I had a conversation last night and I keep rotating it in my brain and I Don’t Like It

[danielnelsen]

so if you romance and ascend astarion you can kick him in the balls when he tries to turn you and it’s just very funny, he’s so pissy about it. so much for the most powerful vampire of all time or whatever, he stamps around like a toddler and then leaves forever

[metalcorebarbie]

look away i’m dooming but i feel bad that i’m scrolling past a lot of posts at the moment (without engaging with them) because i can’t be as excited about the rest of this season as most of my dash is, i’m just expecting more stupid things and yeah, i know dooming in advance is annoying and being negative in public is annoying but for the life of me i just can’t trust tim minear anymore

[miss-morland]

my main goal is for everyone to like me is that wrong

[no1ryomafan]

Worst fucking thing ever when you consume new media is when the vibes are PERFECT like designs, music, basically every visual element aligns perfectly with your taste and tickles your brain but then the writing is utter SHIT so it’s just style with no substance despite the POTENTIAL being there. Cause even if you do end up finding something similar or already did and go just go back to that it just sucks when it’s like “damn this one thing that looks cool isn’t that good” since your just left with a bitter after taste especially when your gonna go through with finishing it anyways because it’s either so short that it wouldn’t hurt even if you know nothing gonna change about it that it probably won’t have the turn around you hope for or your just so bored and have nothing else to consume.

And I don’t know how people consume trash for FUN because when it’s like THIS when you can tell there was EFFORT but not in the part that truly matters it fucking stings more.

[tsscat]

.

[bsdtakanenohana]

Exhibit 1 of people in this fandom basing their forgiveness of a character’s crimes based on how much they’ve suffered.

the strangest thing to me about the BSD fandom is the fact that the vast majority of people in it are dazai fans, while also consistently assuming the absolute worst of him, disregarding the circumstances around his actions and giving him no grace or consideration of his situation whatsoever.

there's no doubt dazai is a bad person in many ways. he did plenty of unjustifiable, inexcusable things. he's pathologically manipulative with a totally skewed moral compass, most of which was undoubtedly brought on by his upbringing in the mafia. but at the same time, i see such a huge number of people taking that and somehow ending up with - and vehemently defending - this idea that he's a remorseless, indifferent, innately cruel person by nature?

are we forgetting this is the same dazai who was forced to false-witness a murder at fourteen years old? the same dazai who already wracked up numerous suicide attempts barely out of his pre-teens?the same dazai who was referred to by everyone around him as a 'demon' at fifteen years old? the same dazai consistently described as having grief-filled, empty expressions and detached, vacant reactions to practically everything when he was so young? the same dazai that oda described as "a child crying in the dark, alone, left to fend for himself with a hole in his heart as large as the world itself"?

that dazai is an indifferent, heartless, innately psychopathic person? really? i'm not convinced.

[mortally-beloved]

the two most overused headcanons in the house md fandom that I cannot escape for the life of me.