#which is why i took such a long break from the fandom but now im posting again and the Fear™️ has returned

[drawcupidsbow]

happy birthday isat :)

this took me Wayyyy longer than i thought it would so thats why its a bit late.. ehheh.... i really like how it turned out though !! extra stuff under the cut

okay. okay im gonna get a bit sappy here. bear (🐻) with me

isat has very quickly become my favorite game of all time which is not an exaggeration. never have i played a game that felt so real in its dialogue, characterization, and character interactions. it makes it so easy to relate to them all and so difficult to pick just One favorite. it cured my art block watered my crops fed my family etc etc. i had originally bought it nearly a year ago now. on christmas day to be specific! and for some reason i didnt actually Finish the damn thing until may. and whew did it consume my every waking thought. i havent had this much fun theorizing and being part of a fandom in general in so so long. thank you adrienne for making such a wonderful game and thank you isat fandom for being so kind and friendly! i actually feel like i can make an effort to have a presence here more than anywhere else and i hope i can become closer with all my mutuals and anyone else who wants to talk about isat with me for one million years

okay enough Heres the art you came here for

first time in like. actual years i did sketch then lineart instead of just cleaning up the sketch a bunch LOL so here is the sketch for this one

the dreaded lineart. this took the longest time and i never want to draw again (joke)

self explanatory. i had an idea to add loop but do Not have the energy to execute it currently. oh well!

if you read my big big paragraph of rambling thank you :3c That is all. Im gonna go take a break from drawing for a day or two and lay on the floor

[scarletttbitch]

why do i have Anxiety™️ about talking to ppl on this damn website

[ravers8fantasy]

Punch out locker room mishaps: world circuit💥🤑

The world circuit locker room would be bougie af, im talking like proper yknow

Super macho man is abbreviated to SMM cus no way am I doing allat

Sandman feels like he is baby sitting half the time because of the amount of bs that happens in the world circuit locker room

SMM has a double door locker (hell yeah) with photos of himself hanging inside of it

He calles it the 'super shrine', the other boxers think its the stupidest thing ever and soda takes the photos and puts them in the toilet cus why not

When Aran first joined no one knew what the flip he was saying, especially bald bull so he just told Aran to shut up whenever he spoke

Soda is too tall, the W.B.V.A had to install signs to the top of door frames because he kept walking into them

Sandman has watched Aran try break into his locker so many times now its become a normal sight for him

Every one is tired of Aran, bald bull has literally started a fist fight with him which ended up with Aran getting locked inside a locker for 2 hours

Sandman tried making peace between all the other boxers by making a group chat

Aran left it after bald bull kept thinking he was English, SMM thought it was a spam from crazy fan's and sent some stuff before leaving, bald bull said "fuck off" and left as soon as he saw SMM send a thirst trap and Soda was never added because he doesnt have a phone

Aran has to be searched and patted down before walking into the locker room before a match because of all his cheating scandals

When little Mac joined, Aran LOVED to not only make fun of his boxer name but also harrased him pranked him like taking his towel whilst he was using the shower and hid his stuff

Sandman made the others do a temporary alliance to beat up Aran and get poor Mac's stuff back

SMM loves the floor length mirrors in the locker room, his whole social page is full of just him flexing in that same mirror

One time he accidentally got sandman in the background looking absolutely unimpressed and it became a meme for a while

He also caught the fist fight between bald bull and aran in the background of one of his thirst traps as well

Soda's locker is full of 'juice' cartons, he doesnt need space for a gym bag because he's hidden it somewhere underneath the floor tile's somehow

Aran once head butted a wall at full force whilst trying to pick a fight with sand man

Not only did he knock himself out but he also managed to break through the dry wall and left a massive hole in the wall

Soda blasts russian hard bass/techno whilst showering and shouts the lyrics, everyone hates it.

"hell yeah bro's, I was like-

"U SO SEXY RUSSIAN GIRL Прыгай в мой фургон-танцпол"

"uh anyway yeah like as I was saying I totes like hit-

"ABSOLUT HARD BASS. RUSSIAN PARTY IN KAMAZ"

"oh now what the flip. What the flip brah thats so not cool"

Aran often crashes SMM's interviews, and shouts random things in the background (these are all being recorded by the way)

The last time it happened he shouted "OI SUPER MACHO MAN, I KNOW A SECRET ABOUT YOU MATE THAT PEOPLE MIGHT CALL A COMING OUT" (heh nikita mazepin and george russel f1 reference wait wrong fandom-)

Bull and sandman are pretty chill with eachother (on a good day which is once every couple of months), Sandman offers contructive critisism which helps Bull in the long run

Soda also gets help from sandman, Soda then tries to use the tips he heard from sandman in the ring, Soda then blacks out from drinking too much and loses

Aran makes fun of Soda's fear of horses by wearing one of those rubber horse masks (Aran is scared of flying in planes)

When Soda saw it he jumped and slapped the horse mask full force, if you know how silly it looks then you would know why bull started cackling

SMM and bald bull made a truce once, bull trapped Aran in a headlock whilst SMM took all of Aran's cheating stuff and handed it into the W.B.V.A officials

Ya cant be mad at them they were sick of getting hit in the face with his flying rope punching glove

---------------------------------------------------

Help why did I struggle sm doing this💔 thats all the locker room mishaps done, I fear this is only the beginning I have sm more planned keep grinding chat ill see ya next time 😈😈

[tarathoughts13]

FIXING BIT CITY - PART 1

okay this is a very long post and i apologise - i didn't mean to have this many thoughts on bit city but i do so i would really appreciate if you read through this whole thing and hear me out completely:

so, i think we can all agree that the smosh main channel right now isn't doing so well, this time last year, most of their videos on main had a good 1 million+ views, especially after food battle. but nowadays, most of the bit city sketches get from 400k - 900k on average views, 2024 youtube sucks is the only bit city sketch to get above 1 million views.

i think a big reason for this drop in numbers is for 2 reasons, 1. the fact that smosh put hold on all their other sketches that they were doing on the main channel for bit city, and took a whole 2 month break for it, for the end result being, well, average. and the 2nd reason being is that, well, bit city as a whole isn't the best show and while it has it's strong points, it's not a good enough show on it's own that will make your average viewer want to tune in and it's also just, not, that good. now im a big smosh fan and i only want the best for the channel, which is why im gonna try and break down the reasons why bit city isn't really working and how to fix it, hopefully if we spread this around a little bit in the smosh fandom here on tumblr, we'll be able to spread some news (ill post this on reddit as well).

okay now the breakdown. let's start with the concept of bit city, from what i've gathered, bit city is basically trying to be the 'snl'/late night with jimmy show of smosh, the all in all sketch show that has a bit of everything (like a variety show). now i don't watch snl much but from what i know of it, snl episodes have a typical format that they fall into, they start with a cold open, followed by a monologue, then 2-3 sketches, then commercial break which is where a lot of commericial parodies happen, then a musical performance, then weekend update, and sometimes an addtional performance by a musical guest, and then credits. and you can see smosh borrowing some of those segments for bit city, now this as an idea is great. i think that smosh could pull it off if they wanted to, they have a whole multiverse (literally) of characters to choose from for sketches, they have multiple cast members who are great at hosting and who are able to carry segments on their own, and they have a good enough budget to pull different parts of these segments off.

however, where smosh breaks away from the snl format is the fact that they have structured their show more like a late night show would, having a host and a guest, now this is where smosh starts to lose me a little bit. not because i hate the idea, but because, late night humour is very different from sketch comedy, late night tv's comedy typically relies on topicality (meaning the current things going on in today's society like politics, pop culture, etc.), interviews with guests and recurring segments (think mean tweets on jimmy kimmel), yes they do have sketches, but the format of the sketches is very different. that being said, i think waht smosh was going for in the end, which was a 'late night' esque show where the 'guests' are characters or impressions by the cast, is a geneuienly great idea.

where bit city starts to fail or let me down is the execution, now they cast chanse and angela as the hosts, which i do actually really like since i think they both have a lot of personality, they both are entertaining to watch, and they have a good dynamic which viewers can watch and be entertained by. so i think it was a good choice to have them be the hosts. where i think bit city starts to really lose me is, well, the bits, the sketches.

so far, there have been 6 episodes of bit city, and so far, the bits and characters that have stayed in my head and that i think are truly memorable include the one direction reunion, the "straight eye" cast, the kardashians bit and the ianthony bit (although i personally was let down by that it was very popular in the fandom so im including it), that is it. every other bit has been either average or forgettable, in fact, the only episode of bit city which i think lands on every level is the straight vs gay episode.

why? let's break it down.

bit city as a show follows a general structure, the show opens with a 'cold open' of sort where angela says something like 'XX PERSON DID WHAT?' and chanse replies with something along the lines of 'yeah bitch' or some one liner response, after that they have a bit of bantering between chanse and angela which goes on either too long or too short, before cutting to their first set of commercials, after that they return with their first sketch or bit which is typically an interview or a reunion with the 'guest' being either an impression or character by the cast, in the middle of the interview they cut to the commericals again before returning to the bit again, after the bit hits it's "climax" of sorts, then they cut to a third set of commercials, before returning for either an improvised segment with members of the cast as themselves playing games ie. straight vs gay trivia. or the 'hot goss' section where they have tommy read off a teleprompter some jokes about modern day pop culture before interviewing another guest (sometimes they cut to commercials here as well but not always), before having the show come to an end with chanse jumping over a car.

now, let's go bit by bit (pun not intended) on every part of this show and break it down bit by bit (okay this time intended).

the cold opens - imo this is one of the weaker parts of the show, i get what they're going for with it, but it just feels so dry and bland, i get that they can't do a full opening monologue and they need something to open the show in that way, but eveyr joke in the cold open section has since fallen flat for me, so really, my only advice here is get better writers or write better jokes.

the banter/improvised section - this is one of the better parts of the show which i do like (althooguh i do think that it does in some cases go on for way too long) but it's mainl because chanse and angela are such likable people that it works, recently they've started adding in some bits to this section like the rib cam and the erewhon taste testing, so i think if i have any real advice for this section of the show, it would be to a. shorten it and not make it drag on as long or b. if you're not gonna shorten it, then at least add more improvised or bits like the rib cam to this part of the show, this would be also be part of the show to bring back segments like smoffice or let's do this on a smaller scale (although ill add more about let's do this later) to have somehting entertaining for this part of the show

commercials - the commercials are one of the most disappointing part of the show to me not because they're bad, but because they could be so much more. like the concept of parody commercials in a sketch show is SOO good, for one, it can help point out flaws in advertising and commercial industry in general, but they can also just be the perfect ground space for character building ro for expanding the smosh universe, but every bit city commercial, the the humour jsut feels so, generic? and it falls so flat every time. and this falls into one of my main critiques of the show, which is, so much of the show feels like such average level humour, like this is smosh, the channel which literally thrives off of characters and over the top bits, so why aren't they utilising that? i can't think of 1 commercial which has stayed in my head or which i would call memorable in this show so far, besides maybe the straight vs gay 'straight boyfriend os' commercial (but even that cuold have been better imo). my real advice for the commercials in the show is a. cut it down, don't have 3-4 commercials in every bit city episode (especially if they're gonna be so average), but b. if you're gonna have this many, use them to expand the smosh universe. have commercials like idk, Mr. Pervert's coffee shop, now hiring, or Fred Dart's new single just launched, anything that will actually add value to the smosh universe and not just be some one off. but if they want to do one off commercials, they could also return to their 'apple product commercial' esque skecthes, like the apple vision pro sketch they did? yeah, do that and split it up into 4 parts instead of all at once, and you have 4 commercials for a bit city episode.

interviews - the interview segments have been okay so far. i liked the one direction reunion, i liked the kardashians one, i somehwat enjoyed the old smosh reunion (but im not that much of an og smosh fan so i didn't enjoy it as much as others) and i really liked the 'straight eye' cast one. i think my main critique for the interview sections of bit city is the same for the commercials in that, it could jsut be SO MUCH more. i for one would love for them to maybe do stuff like a 'smosh the sitcom reunion' with all the characters like kevin, krungle, young sebastian, chosen, etc. or a 'chosen special' where chosen gives us a deep dive into being a chosen, waht it takes to be a chosen, who is or isn't chosen, etc. these sketches in my opinion would be a. more funny than just random pop culture references, and b. interesting deep dive into the pre-existing characters of smosh. and that's not me saying that i think they need to completely erase the pop culture elements of the show, im jsut saying, lean into more of the smosh specific character work of the cast instead of focusing more on the pop culture elements, you can still have reunions like the hsm or the teletubbies reunions (which btw i think were top tier smosh sketches) but just don't make that the focus of the show. also i do think at one point having actual guest features for this section of the show could be interesintg, but seeing how things are going right now, i don't think that will be happening in the near future.

improvised 'games'/recurring segments of the show: so far, what i think they're trying to do in the second half of bit city episodes is try to have one of those 'recurring segment' bits like they have on late night tv with the smosh cast, basically where the cast and host s play improvised games, now this isn't a bad idea but imo it is kinda pointless. liek i don't hate it as a segment, but i think it takes up a lot of run time which could instead be used for stuff like, idk, actual sketches? but if they are trying to do bits like this, i think what would be better is to bring back the 'google search history/watch history' sketches they used to do for this part of the show, since it actually fits quite perfectly. also, my advice for this segment of the show to elevate it a bti more is to really lean into the audience participation part of the show, i think they're trying to do that with the 'crew stories' part but so far they're kinda falling flat/hit or miss, so i think what would be better is to do stuff like have audiecne shots liek they do in real late night tv, play games which involve the audience, or if you wanna involve the crew stories,maybe do it in the format of like in the live show for under the mistletoe (or maybe it was UTI i dont remember) where they have one crew memeber or audience memebr on stage interacting with the cast in characters (like in UTI they had lisa's exes) or just have the crew member tell a story from their life and show them in the audience. that would be better imo.

hot goss - now for every episode where they don't do an improvised game or recurring segment, they do hot goss, which i think you can tell is trying to act as like the 'weekend update' of this show btu more leaning into pop culture elements, which, im sorry, i love you tommy, but this segment is very hit or miss. i don't hate tommy as a host, i think he has a lot of personaltiy which makes him likable and entertaing to watch at times, but this segment is just, very glass half full for me. i liked the stephen king's son episode i think that was well done, but i think my real advice for this segment is the same for the rest of bit city which truly is lean more into the character element of smosh, do stuff like 'deep dive into krungle's dating life' or 'GERALD CAKES TELLS ALL' stuff like that. or if you really want a segment to be about pop culture, then i think a better way to do that would be to maybe bring back the teleprompter bits that they used to do in smosh pit weekly back in like 2016 or so, OR, just get better writers (also cut it down - we do not need like 10 mins+ of amanda being chappell roan and sabrina carpenter's agent - which btw is SUCH a good idea for a character, but as all bit city bits, it fell flat).

--> ,however, i think a better way to do this type of 'weekend update' type show is bring back a smosh pit weekly esque segment - smosh weekly or bit city weekly - and THAT'S where you bring in the topical element of bit city, it's a much better way to do it imo. and you can still keep hot goss if you want to for as i previously siad the character gossip deep dives or the pop culture characters, but alos have this weekly show drive the 'topical' parts of bit city.

chanse jumping over a car - really have no commenrs on this one, i like it as a bit, i think it'll get old really quickly, but for what it is, i like it

@lilac-hecox @smoshkidtv @guessitrunsinthegenes @wazurenaide

[anzuhan]

april end innovade update (and possibly one of if not final update)

Statistics:

this was the first month in which i've only drawn one out of all trinities (michael only) (-)

the draw rate has raised since last month's 2.04 to 2.16/day (+)

first time ive drawn a piece including all innovades i tend to usually draw (+)

first time inclusion of 'others' (with the miku innovade designs) (+)

still only drew least drawn innovade a single time (sky) (-)

total drawn - 249

per innovade:

tieria - 59

laetitia - 15

regene - 23

revive - 19

bring - 18

divine - 17

anew - 14

sky - 6

hiling - 33

ribbons - 41

trinities

michael - 9

johann - 3

nena - 3

other - 2

—

ending note / long ramble about the whole situation

its been a long while huh 😭 exactly 4 months. minus a day ! on a year with a longer february as well, nonetheless. its been fun, but i may stop drawing them now; not to say natsume has utterly obliterated my love for innovades inside of my brain (though i thought of announcing it this way with a funny headline like BREAKING NEWS ! natsume has murdered the entire species of innovades in cold blood. we are sorry for the inconvenience), but also as of late it did sort of become a bother to draw them; mostly because of the keeping track of it as well and because i did not want the draw rate etc to drop. i did get to 1/4th of my goal.. minus one ! im not saying i will NEVER be drawing them ever again, but i doubt ill be keeping track of it anymore — alongside that, i do not think i will be drawing them almost at all anymore either (now, for a while. but they may still appear here and there from time to time.. as all my past fandoms do), so if you were only here for them and not me & my works, feel free to unfollow. i will still be up to have talks about them ! but i just wont devote such a high amount of time and effort to them anymore. it is hard to say ive been slowly falling out of love with them, and mayhaps even harder to say im falling in love again with natsume 😭 and EXACTLY a year later after i last stopped drawing him too... which is crazy .

i feel like besides this, it was also becoming apparent that drawing them has become a chore to me ; i was not feeling up to drawing highly detailed pieces with them anymore that id spend time on. i was not happy with the results on many of them either. and things like the page of every single tieria outfit, despite it used to be a thing i was once hyped about doing... back in january when i just got here, it no longer was that way. yes, i pushed through with it, but it took me a very long time and i kind of disliked going back to it, which is why it even took me that long 😭 and was moreso just done to keep up the numbers of innovades drawn ; for myself, for others.

i cannot lie about the fact it did make me happy i was giving to such a small fandom and brightening other peoples days, and this is a big flaw i have that i tend to put others above myself, but this has become much too big of a bother to me to keep on doing it. i still love them ! not as much, but i still do, especially ribbons. there is nothing wrong with them, i just do not wish to continue essentially wasting so much of my time drawing things i do not enjoy drawing, unless i am to see it finished and thats all the joy i get out of it.

as for the requests with the innovades, i am unsure if i am to do them anymore except for a singular one that ive also not received thru an ask but dm, purely because i am actually hyped about it 😭 and that may be the extent of which you will be seeing anymore 00 content from me.

im sorry if ive let anyone down & thank you for following me through this journey ; i hope to see you again :)

[splashstar01]

Love letter to Merthur (11 year anniversary🎉💐) TW: suicide, spoilers for end of the show

Okay so it's been 11 years since Merthur has been my OTP. Since they've entered my life I've literally felt like I've been in a relationship with their relationship if that makes sense. For a little while until I met my spouse, I even identified as aegosexual, which for me meant being asexual except for attraction to other people's relationships such as my OTPs. 

I came into the fandom end of 2013 and became interested because they were all over my tumblr dash. I know, the show ended at the end of 2012.. I'm not sure why Tumblr had a sudden influx of merthur content. Maybe due to the slash tourney?

But I kept seeing the final end scene all over my dash and I kept seeing a ton of articles celebrating that merthur was now canon (imagine my surprise when i found so many in the fandom don't see it that way even tho it was literally confirmed……………………..). 

I knew literally nothing about the show and assumed it was a serious adult show about the Arthurian legends. But I shipped them anyway due to the ending, particularly with Merlin waiting 1500 years (I didn't even realize Arthur was also waiting)!

At the time I had just got into shipping for half a year, so I was super new to all this slash stuff. My slash OTP at the time was very quickly replaced by merthur after I began watching the series bc merthur was just way more touchy-feely and had actual boyish fun around one another, not to mention waiting 1500 years for ea other! That is EPIC LOVE!!!! Their dynamic was the opposite of my previous OTP. 

With merthur I got really, really into my feelings. I've literally bled for them. Rest assured, I have never cut in my entire life. it's only due to me becoming so emotional and hyperventilating in joy that I bit my fingers and bled a little bit. Like, the amount of blood i lost was akin to literally a paper cut from my teeth lol. Because I cover my mouth when I hyperventilate… I think most people cover their mouths when they do this. Lol.

But when I hyperventilate over Merthur, it is EXTREME. like, i have almost out-of-body experiences. i’ve literally cried from being so happy thinking of them having sex. One time in the shower I was thinking about them and I was so happy I nearly blacked out and fell into the shower curtains. 😂 But even when I cry over Merthur/Arthur, im still having fun. Because I know it's not real, so it’s only a pseudo-grief but its NOT psuedo-joy!!! LOL. It's kinda like going on a roller coaster. You’re screaming but you dont actually fear for your life. It’s psuedo-fear. 

At the time, I was severely depressed in my non-fandom life, but Merthur never actually contributed to that hurt, because i could see the lines of reality vs real shit i had to be upset over. Merthur gave me an outlet. With merthur I felt free to cry and fall apart whilst at the same time, as I always tell my ppl, "they're not real, THANK GOODNESS!!" so I can grieve bc I'm not really crying for anyone!

At the time, I wasn’t seeing anyone for my severe depression/anxiety because I thought I could handle it and i was self-medicating with psychedelics since they've been proven to be able to heal mental health issues. LSD at parties healed my c-ptsd, since I had gone to see someone for my ADHD & ended up being diagnosed w c-ptsd! I thought it could heal my other issues too.

But then I took a 7-year break from merthur due to my attempted suicide.

My life was going so well too. I literally seemed like i had the perfect life while in college. Just landed a good-paying 1-yr temp job, I was majorly popular and partying every weekend, I had a long-term partner (we’re now married), I had a 4.7 GPA, was in 9 different school clubs. I seemed to be thriving. But I’d been battling severe anxiety/depression since I was 12.

How the fandom saved my life….. Literally. 

Before I was going to do it, I had to say goodbye to the fandom bc I always felt like the merthur fandom was like my family.

I wrote a goodbye post on Tumblr that I set to queue and I had assumed it would post much later. But ig i somehow miscalculated and it posted too early. So someone managed to find my Facebook which is just insane bc blogs are essentially anonymous. I didn't post any personal info on Tumblr. It should have been impossible but they alerted my sister and I was found 45 min away.

The doctors declared me brain dead and it was this huge thing. I had to relearn to feed myself, walk, etc. It took me 6 months just to have the strength to use a walker because my leg muscles had atrophied so much. 9 months later and I was able to walk again on my own. Now it's been 7 years and I'm still physically disabled but in a much better place emotionally. After my attempt, a limelight was cast on my mental health and all a sudden i was seeing all sorts of therapists. I was medicated for the very first time, and i felt so much better. I’m no longer actively suicidal.

So….. enough about my sob story. 

Merthur will most likely always be my OTP!! I did find book!Drarry 8 months ago, and boy did i go wild for them too. (Like, i stayed up 36 hours straight because i couldnt stop thinking about them and i’m the author of the Drarry Bible, a 98k doc of all the drarry book moments along with meta proving that in their universe, they are in love and soulmates lol. Drarry is such a huge ship that I was honestly so surprised that there wasnt already something similar to it!!)

But even with Drarry, I always knew Merthur was OTP!! I never once questioned that I loved Merthur more even during my Merthur hiatus. ^-^ I’m not sure why i took such a long hiatus after my suicide attempt. But I recently got back into Merthur just 6 months ago due to this video by imaginedragonlords: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4zDknYGf0s. The video reminded me of why Merthur was so amazingggggg. Like i always knew they were but ig the passion was gone after the suicide attempt. (Gone but not forgotten lol! :D)

I wont promise the passion will always be here. Like in any relationship, passion sometimes ebbs and flows (happening rn w my irl partner lol i mean, they’re great n all but they like to interrupt me when i write fanfic 😂), but I’ll always know that Merthur will never be replaced. Because at the end of the day, there will never be another love as epic and with as much chemistry as these two gayssssssss<33333 i did find another ship I love that i feel has a more healthy love for ea other than merthur and also waited a whole lifetime for one another, but they dont have AS much chemistry……………)

I love Merthur SO DAMN MUCH!!!!!! And i love my Merthur fandom. <3 I can always rely on fandom to give me my drug of choice: that MERTHUR DOPAMINE HIT!!! I’ve grieved Arthur’s death way longer & more intensely than any irl person/pet’s, & I blame the fandom for that! Each gifset or post will bring all the feelings of pseudo-grief back in full force, plus I cry EASY when it comes to fandom. I can smile a genuine smile after my grieving session is done, because thank SOURCE THEY’RE FICTIONAL! 

And anyway, they’re so obviously going to end up married with so much sex once Arthur finally returns from training with the Sidhe and being granted immortality so that Albion (Merlin) won’t ever be in such crisis (losing his mind from grief) ever again.

I’ve also cried from looking at a gifset of Leon just being Leon (this one literally tagged ‘literally crying’ & i only use that tag for stuff that has me actually crying with real tears).

And he’s not even one of my fave knights!! This gifset wasn't meant to be sad either. lol. I dont know why i cried. It just be like that on Tumblr.

Back before my hiatus, I literally had a Kleeenix box next to me whenever i went on tumblr bc I’d cry over every little thing. This was bc i was bound to see some sad merthur gifset/post/etc, cry, and after i cried once, anything else made me cry……..

Even gifsets of Leon just being Leon lool. x’D I would get soooooo overly emotional. 

My spouse once said, “All you ever talk about with ur fandoms is ‘they’re so gay.’” YES. THAT IS THE MAIN POINT, WHAT ABOUT IT 😂 like im now in the Harry Potter book fandom & i literally dont give a shit about the book plotlines [I barely remember them], but i can write up a whole Bible about Drarry……. It’s PRIORITIES! I have a very 1-track mind with my ships lol.

Ok this was way longer than intended. 

Tldr;

merthur (fandom) literally saved my life during my suicide attempt by alerting my family,

grieving Arthur’s death is a safe outlet bc i know he’s not real so none of my grief is real.

I dont cut, never have, never will—I just hyperventilate way too hard in fits of joy, usually crying “they’re SO GAY!!!” & bite my fingers a tad too hard on accident at times..... i get really super emotional and i love it becos that free dopamine hit is on another lvl fr lol def up there w real drugs, like my out-of-body experience sometimes xD

I feel like im dating them due to being partly aegosexual. and i love them <3 :D So my 11 yr anniversary fr feels like my 11 yr anniversary w an IRL lover lol XD

[jaxxsoxxn]

>> ELIMF SAYS HORN IT UP [gn!reader x elimf x odxny]

elimf uses he/him pronouns (bc im pretty sure he's referred to himself as a guy? but that's about all the reasoning), uses they/them for everyone else.

Probably ooc, im still figuring everyone out ;;

smth silly <3 I take requests if this barely existing fandom is alive

lowkey horny elimf for the duo, even if he doesn't realize it for the most part.

tw. drinking; irresponsible drinking especially; kind of dissociation but depends on how u look at it; elimf is technically having a bad fcking day even if it's not stated clearly.

im writing it at, like, 1am n i might not notice most of the uhhh writing errors.

___

El didn't smoke that much lately, but he was sipping lazily a beer while using only one hand to write back in the chatroom. He wasn't sure which beer was it, but he was pretty buzzed at this point.

"Elimf" looked at the words passing his screen with a small smirk. Thrim, bless them, gave them a year of peace. As they learned more and more, they finally decided to try to find them and ask them to join something a bit more like a social groupchat, still hidden from curious eyes if or when they wanted to brag about their possible hacks.

If you'd ask him before thrim, if he'd chat with incri or even wnpep out of his own will for simple fun after they're done, he'd laugh. Now here he was, sending a meme of a staring hamster after pep made the mistake of saying something vaguely sexual.

All he gets is the staring emoji.

He sits back in his chair, a low sound leaving it with the move, almost like a whine. After a few slow blinks and a deep sigh, he finally looks back at the screen.

thrim: lmao stare off, you got this elimf

He should go to sleep.

He should leave the chatting for later today, the clock on his laptop showing 2 AM.

Instead, he slides into thrim's dms, one simple message being sent before he closes his eyes and takes another sip.

He wishes he'd have something heavier to drink.

elimf: wanna have a drink with me?

thrim is writing...

It only takes one more sip for the bottle to be empty and, thus, useless. He hovers with his mouse on the text, asking himself if he'll delete the message, will thrim have enough brain in their head to not mention it. He's too late in the end.

thrim: I'd be down, as long as you're aware that od will be there somewhere in the back thrim: I mean, they'll probably hear us thrim: Just wanted you to know thrim: and also had to ask them if they're okay with it beforehand, so that's why it took a while for me to respond thrim: in case you were wondering

Talk about not carrying about double- or, well, quintuple texting. If that's a thing. If not, trust thrim to be the one to come up with it.

He calls without answering the texts, his finger slipping once while trying to do so. Maybe he's drunker than he thought he was. He doesn't disconnect.

"Hi there, elimf!"

The way their voice goes softer, slower around his "name" makes him chuckle. They were obviously trying their best at sounding it out. The idea of them trying it out beforehand made him a little heated.

"Just L's fine." he states, noting a green smudge in their background. "How's ya, thrim?"

He wants to stay silent and just watch them as time passes, he wants to reach for them and pull- their hair, their skin, the hoodie that's obviously not theirs, anything.

He tries to take another sip and grimaces when the empty bottle lightly hits his teeth, too light without any liquid. Furthermore, he lets it fall, ignoring the breaking glass as he reaches for another. Thrim doesn't seem to be good at following in his footsteps.

"You're alright?" they have a slight accent, something so soft that it's barely there. "Did the bottle break?"

There's music in his headphones. He doesn't remember when it was turned on, he cannot remember if it was playing before he called.

"Ya didn't answer me." he says it almost childishly, a stupid grin on his face. The green smudge in the back becomes more visible, the person stopping in their tracks.

"I'm alright, would be better if I'd know if you're good too."

He's staring, probably. He lets himself look down at the new bottle in his hand, before popping the top off with his teeth. As he does so, thrim holds a shot glass, already filled. The green wearing person has a fox mask on that looks like their emojis. They also have a shot glass in one hand and their other hand is patting thrim's shoulder.

He knows it's Od, he knows it so well it hurts, but all he can do is think about how much he wished it wouldn't be odxny themselves. How much easier would being jealous be if he wouldn't know them.

How much easier knowing who he was jealous of would be, too.

"Ya'r drinkin' with us, oddy? What a blessin'" his accent is getting the best of him, he should try to fight it a bit more.

He gets a delicate chuckle back, the mask lowering itself with their face, as Od shakes their head lightly at that. He wants to tear it off, he wants it to be an actual part of him.

He feels unreal, his mind is getting sharp even if his vision seems to be worse - there's an ache in his chest, almost like he's smoked too much-

"L? We're drinking or what?"

With the other voice joining in, he finally remembers to breath. He really shouldn't drink another.

"Of course, unless ya'r already chickenin' out." he slightly grimaces at those words, a pained laugh leaving his throat. "That was a bit too incy for me."

Wnpep would've tried to scold him, Incri would've thrown a fit - but the two just laugh with him, odxny lighter than thrim, but still easy to be heard.

As they raise their glasses, the masked one whispers something to thrim before downing their own. Thrim, stars above, Thrim puts their mouth around the rim of the glass and raise their head, letting their whole neck show and their Adam's apple show off its movement. Two swallows is all it takes, before they whip their head back and lay the glass back down.

He wants to scream, the bottle stopped halfway to his mouth, his other hand's nails biting into the skin on his left thigh.

Thrim outright laughs, their eyes squinted and their hair becoming even messier. Od rests their head in the place where the shoulder and the neck connect, an obvious smirk on their lips as they shake lightly with their own laughter.

He's bright red - he realizes, while blinking owlishly.

"You did this on purpose."

Thrim smirks at him, leaning back lightly. A tiny change, yet still a change. Whatever was the trap they laid down, he walked right into it.

"What can we say, we wanted to know if you'll like what you'll see half as much as we do."

He takes the sip he was meaning to before, his eyes following Od's hand, which was playing with Thrim's hair.

As another chuckle left them, thrim sent him a wink. He couldn't handle it.

He let himself disconnect, a smile on his lips as he stood away from the desk, moving the glass slowly with his bare foot to the side, so he wouldn't step on the bigger parts. A shower and a power nap sounds like a dream duo to him right now and those feelings? Those real feelings that he felt at the duo teasing? Well, those are for the rare sober elimf, thank the stars.

[toastnpretzels]

Ptolemaea

relationships: albert wesker x reader

masterlist

word count: 3,963

warnings: 18+ minors dni, oral sex, smut, female reader, no happy ending (sorry), angst (im a slut for angst)

author's note: i posted this on ao3 last night while running on pure exhaustion so i didnt proofread this. i also wrote most of this while sitting in my ethics class lol. i took a long break from the star wars fandom altogether, but im not attempting to bring myself back by rewatching the bad batch (im in agony). expect some clone writing to be back very soon.

also sorry if you feel like this may be ooc for wesker, it definitely is but its how i wanted to write it. timeline is probably off as well.

thank you for any likes, comments, or reblogs. i love seeing them <3

"Albert... please."

"No. You had your chance to run. This is it for you."

He grabs you by the throat, lifting you into the air. Your last breath is going to be stolen from a man you once called a friend. A man that was once your lover.

Grasping at his wrists, tears streaming down your face, you can feel your head getting fuzzy.

For a brief moment, there's a look in his eyes that says that he might let go, a smaller glimmer of the love he has for you. You pass out believing that you are dead, believing that he did not love you anymore.

A long time had passed since the days of S.T.A.R.S. The BSAA had been set on finding Wesker and anything left of Umbrella. After all of the pain he had caused, he needed to be stopped. Chris, Jill, and yourself had been looking for him for quite some time. You tried not to get too involved, knowing it would only cause you pain.

When you had met Wesker, you thought he didn't like you. Wesker was someone that always came off as cold and uncaring, but somewhere deep down he did have a heart. He rarely showed it, knowing that people would only see it as a way to exploit him. It didn't take very long after your first day at S.T.A.R.S. for Wesker to make a move on you. Looking back on it now, you are surprised he even did. He couldn't help himself. There was something about you that made him bend his own rules. He chose not to see anyone, knowing he wouldn't have time anyway with half of his time being dedicated by Umbrella and the other half dedicated to S.T.A.R.S. Caring for someone other than himself also gave himself another weakness, which he couldn't afford. Which is exactly why he suggested to keep it casual between you both. Something mutually beneficial. You knew it was a bad idea, that things like this only go wrong, but you agreed anyway. Wesker was attractive and you were lonely. What you didn't expect is just how much you would end up feeling for him, and just how much he would end up hurting you.

Everyone had suspected something was going on between you and the captain, but no one had any proof. Wesker didn't want anyone to know. Neither did you, honestly. It was bad enough that you were fucking your boss, it would have been much worse if everyone knew as well. They caught glimpses of conversations that seemed too personal for work, or small arguments that should have never even happened in the workplace. They never saw you two touch. That was kept only for in private. Whatever the team saw had only scratched the surface.

You couldn't call whatever was going on between you and Wesker a relationship. It had never progressed passed casual sex. There was no commitment between you two, at least not vocally. Wesker knew you were fully committed to him, but he was committed to Umbrella. He couldn't let go of that. He knew that if you were in a relationship, you would inevitably find out about his involvement with Umbrella. You were smart enough to figure it out, but he didn't want to risk that. Not that soon at least. It eventually came out anyway. You were there when the Arklay Mansion incident happened. Wesker had tried to make you stay at the station, but he knew it would draw even more red flags if he had forced you to. You wished you had stayed.

For months after, you had felt like Wesker had played you. It felt like you were just some part of his bigger plan. That's why he would never commit, he didn't truly care about you. You were just a means to an end. You still felt like somewhere down the line, you and him were friends. Nonetheless, the betrayal of the entirety of S.T.A.R.S. weighed heavily on you. He had betrayed everyone, people that thought they were his friends. You went to his memorial. Even though he had betrayed everyone, you still cared about him. He was dead. Or so you thought.

After Chris went to Europe, you quit police work altogether. It felt hard to trust anyone in Racoon City anymore. You didn't trust most of the people at the police station anymore, so the only option was to leave. It was then that you decided that moving out of the country might be a good idea. Amsterdam had always been a dream of yours, so why not make it a reality now. It was good you had left when you did, you just wish some of the others had left at the same time as you. Seeing what they had done to Racoon City a month after you had left had left an even bigger hole in your heart.

It took a little while to get fully acclimated in Amsterdam. It took a lot of time to attempt to heal the mental wounds Racoon City had left on you. You had cut contact with everyone from there. You had wanted to get your life back on track instead of dwelling on the past. The destruction of Racoon City was what made Amsterdam permanent. Chris and Jill were the only ones that knew you were there. Although you had cut contact with them for the sake of your mental health, you still sent them updates once in a while and vice versa. That's how you found out that Wesker was alive. It had hit you head on when you read the email from Chris. You didn't leave your house for almost a week. The same man whose memorial you had went to was alive this entire time. You had mourned someone who wasn't even really dead.

It had been almost 10 years since you had stepped foot in Racoon City when he showed up.

It was no shock how he found you. Wesker might have been one of the most intelligent people you knew. He knew this was your dream. He knew you all too well.

It was almost 3 am when he showed up. You had just fallen asleep. It was never easy to sleep after everything that had happened. Your house alarm was what woke you up. Just as soon as it had started, it had stopped. Still groggy from sleep, you weren't even fully sure if you had actually heard it or if was just a hallucination. Nonetheless, you reached for the gun tucked under your bed frame, just in case someone did decide to break in. Even though you had quit police work, you still tried to keep up with the training you were doing before your departure, just in case. Still in sleep shorts and a shirt, you stood behind the door and listened to see if you could hear anyone rummaging around your stuff. When no noises came, you slowly opened the door, trying to make the least amount of sound possible. You slowly walked out of the bedroom, making your way to the living room, gun still at the ready. Coming around the corner, your heart sank.

There was no way he was here.

Standing at the fireplace, Wesker observed the framed pictures on the mantle. Some were of family or friends. There was one of the entirety of S.T.A.R.S. The one that caught his eye was one of you and him, one you had taken a few days prior to the mansion incident. You both looked happy. Wesker didn't want to take a photo, telling you that it was stupid and we were sure to get caught if you carried it around, but after badgering him for so long about it, he gave in. What you didn't know was that Wesker took that photo with him everywhere, even to this day. He picked up the frame and continued to look at it.

"Albert," you whispered. He didn't turn around, but you knew he heard you.

He looked different, but also the same. He looked slightly taller and more muscular, but he also still looked like the same person he was 10 years ago. The differences were so small that you're not sure Chris or Jill would even recognize them.

"You need to leave," you said when he still hadn't turned to face you.

After almost another minute of silence, he turned around. You didn't expect the pit in your stomach to grow bigger. He had to have known how much this was hurting you.

"You look good," he said with a slight smirk on his face. "You have really built a life for yourself here."

There was a pain in your heart that only he could cause. He was tearing open a wound that you had long worked to heal. All it took was a few words for it all to come crashing down again like it had so many years ago. Sadness and fear plagued your heart, but so did the love you once felt for him.

"Are you going to kill me?" you whispered.

His lip quirked up. He thought this was funny. Of course he did.

He turned back around to put the photo back on the mantle. "No."

You felt some weight lifted off of you. You walked towards him slowly, afraid that at any moment he would change his mind. You had seen what he had done to others, you weren't so sure you could even trust his word anymore. You stopped about a foot away from him.

"Albert, why are you here?"

This was all starting to feel like a dream. A nightmare really. He kept looking at the photo of you and him.

"I am not sure," he whispered. It wasn't like him to do something on a whim. You knew he had a reason to be here. But you also know he isn't good at talking about his feelings.

He touched the photo frame one last time before turning. "Why did you keep this?"

He could read you like a book. You didn't need to answer, he already knew the real reason. It was like he still knew everything about you, like it had only been a few days since you had last seen him instead of a few years. He reached towards your wrist. You knew that you shouldn't let him touch you, but your heart craved his touch. The same hands that had caused so much destruction. You couldn't find it within yourself to make him stop.

"I have found myself wanting to see you every day since our last," he said. This was new for him to be so vulnerable. "I have missed you," he whispered. You could see the fear of rejection present in his eyes. Something was wrong. This wasn't the same person you had known all those years ago. This was someone who was pleading with you to see him. He had never once admitted to missing you before, so why now?

He rubbed his thumb over your wrist. You're sure he can feel how fast your heart is beating.

"Come with me."

Those three words had shattered you. If he would have asked years ago, before his betrayal, you would've gone anywhere with him. But now, you aren't sure you know who he is. Albert was never emotionally vulnerable; he kept his deepest feelings close to him. You weren't even in an official relationship with him. Your feelings were real the whole time, he knew this. But never once did he admit to his own. Not until now. But is it too late?

You turn around, making him drop your wrist. It's getting hard to hold in your tears.

"You can't do this." Your voice is soft. You know tears are about to fall. It feels like the same heart break he had caused with his betrayal.

He puts his hand on your shoulder. He turns you around so he can see you. He brings his hands up to wipe the tears from your eyes, tugging at the strings that you thought had long ago been severed. You lean into him. Your heart is begging for him, but your brain is telling you to run. Your brain is losing this battle. Your lips touch his in what your brain deems a moment of weakness. His lips are surprisingly soft. He brings his hand to cup your head, your hands reaching towards his perfect hair. It feels like all of your pent-up emotions are being released into this singular kiss. The kiss gets more heated, both of you having waited so long to feel each other again, even when your brain is telling you it is wrong.

His hands move down to your hips, grasping hard as if to make sure you were actually there. He reaches down further past your ass to lift you. Your brain is screaming for him to put you down, that he is only going to leave you a heartbroken mess, but you don't care anymore. He lifts you with ease, carrying you towards your bedroom, his lips not leaving you once.

He sets you down softly on the bed, reaching to take off his jacket and shirt. He removes his sunglasses, knowing you can’t see his eyes in this lighting. He’s sure all of this would stop if you got one real good look at him.

He definitely was more muscular than before. He looked so different, yet still the same. He throws his clothes on the floor, then reaches for your own shirt. His fingers trail your stomach, leaving goosebumps in their wake. Your body feels like it is on fire. He pulls your shirt over your head, throwing it towards his own clothes. He leans down to kiss you again, letting his hands map out your body once again. It's as if he is relearning all the curves to your body.

You wrap your legs around his waist, hands tangling in his hair once again. He breaks away to kiss at your neck, gently sucking and biting. You reach down towards his belt, attempting to loosen it, but ultimately failing when he bites down harder than you expect. You let out a soft moan at this, causing him to sit up.

"I didn't think I would ever hear that again," he says with a smirk on his face, "don't hold back on me."

He takes off his belt for you, adjusting to pull his pants off. He is immediately back on you, kissing down your stomach. His hands grasp at your exposed thighs, kneading the skin. He leaves a kiss on each thigh before hooking his fingers in the waistband of your shorts and panties. He pulls them down slowly, watching your every reaction. You whine at how slowly he's moving. He throws them with the rest of the clothes in the room without looking away once.

He leaves a kiss on your inner thighs, spreading them slowly and lightly blowing air on your folds.

"Albert, please," you whine. Your body is begging for him to do anything. You'll take anything he is willing to give you at this point.

He chuckles slightly. "Only because you asked so nicely."

He kisses your clit before bringing his tongue out to lick slowly through your folds. It seems to possess him because after one taste he can't hold back anymore. His tongue swirls through your aching folds, getting wetter at every movement from him. You reach down to tangle your hands in his hair, messing up his pristine hair style. You grind yourself into his face, feeling yourself get closer. He grabs at your thighs hard likely leaving bruises for you to discover in the morning. He can tell you are getting close by how hard you are pulling his hair. He groans into you, the vibrations almost sending you over the edge. One of his fingers prods at your weeping hole, pushing in half way only for him to pull it back out. By now you’re a whining mess, begging him for more, but he wants to savor this for as long as possible.

He pulls away from your pussy, replacing his tongue with his fingers rubbing over your clit. He looks up at you, seeing your head snap up at the loss of his tongue. He rubs slower, making you whine a plead more, before stopping all together.

"Your first orgasm of the night is going to be on my cock," he says as he leans back down to kiss you.

You grab at his back, his neck, anywhere you can get your hands on. You are desperate to feel him after all these years. You reach for his boxers, pulling them down as far as you can in this position. You reach for his cock, rubbing your thumb over his leaking tip. He groans into the kiss, biting down onto your lip. He releases your mouth to help you get his boxers all the way off. He leans back down to suck at your neck, seeing the marks he had already left. You twist his cock slowly, trying to tease him the same way he had to you, but you aren't sure you will be able to wait.

He reaches down to your hand to stop you, grabbing his cock and sliding it against your clit. You're so wet that it glides across with ease. He repeats this a few times before letting it slip down to your aching hole. He slides the tip inside and leaves it, sitting up on his knees. It takes everything in him not to slam into you and fuck you into oblivion, but he wants to savor this. He needs to feel everything. It had been too long.

"You feel so good," he says with a strained voice. He continues to push inside, feeling you squeeze him like a vice with each inch. Once he is fully seated inside you, he leans back down to suck on one of your nipples. You let out soft moans while you adjust to his length. He switches to your other breast, letting his hand knead the other, pinching at your nipple. He feels you clamp down hard.

Deciding he had waited long enough, he moves up to kiss you again, pulling himself almost all the way out before slamming back in. You moan into his mouth. He sets a fast pace, trying to make up for lost time. Your nails grip into his back, causing him to let out a moan, only adding to the wetness that he had already created. It gets hard to kiss him, your mouths not being able to keep up with each other with the pleasure you're both feeling. He leans up slightly to look in your eyes, finding the love he had once felt from you. Your hands grab at his shoulders, holding on tight as if to not lose him. His hand comes down to rub at your clit. He knows he is close; he can feel you are too from how tight your walls are gripping him.

"Please cum for me," he begs. You've never heard him beg for anything in his life.

Your body shakes at his words, just hearing him bringing you over the edge. You squeeze him in ripples, nails digging into his shoulders. Feeling your walls squeeze him cause him to let go, pouring himself into you. You are both spent, left panting with him on top of you. He leans down to kiss you again, silencing the fight between your brain and heart. You had decided to let your heart win for the night.

He pulls himself out slowly, his cum dribbling out of you. He gets up and runs to the bathroom quickly to get something to clean you up. He comes back with water and a warm wash cloth, helping you sit up. He wipes you down softly, making sure not to cause you anymore overstimulation. He makes sure you drink enough water before taking a sip himself and setting it down on the nightstand next to your bed.

He gets into bed next to you, pulling the blankets over you both. He wraps himself around you, the feeling of his bare skin on yours bringing warmth to your heart.

"Albert," you whisper, not sure what you want to say, but knowing that a discussion needed to be had.

He pushes your hair behind your ear and kisses the side of your neck.

"Shh. Just sleep. We can talk in the morning."

He wraps his arms around you tighter. Your brain is quiet, shutting down all the questions and anxiety about what is next. It is quiet for a while before you fall asleep.

"I still love you. I never stopped."

There was no discussion in the morning. He was gone. No note, no message. You waited days to see if he would come back. He never did. A month later, you got a call from Chris explaining what had happened to Jill. You didn't believe she was dead. You wanted to find her, but more importantly you wanted to find Wesker. He had done all of that before showing up at your home. You didn't tell Chris that you had seen him, but you did tell him that you would help him in any way possible. For the next three years you looked for any kind of lead on him, most of them coming up short. It wasn't until Africa that you had found something that had actually led to him.

Chris, Sheva, and yourself had found Jill and Wesker. Wesker tried to avoid attacking you personally, but that didn't stop Jill. You were already weak from her hits when you had attacked him. He knocks you to the ground, causing the air to rush from your lungs. He drags you toward him, lifting you by the throat, crushing your windpipe.

"Albert... please."

"No. You had your chance to run. This is it for you."

Your last breath is going to be stolen from a man you once called a friend. A man that was once your lover.

Grasping at his wrists, tears streaming down your face, you can feel your head getting fuzzy.

For a brief moment, there's a look in his eyes that says that he might let go, a smaller glimmer of the love he has for you.

You pass out believing that you are dead, believing that he did not love you anymore.

You wake up on the helicopter with Jill next to you. Everyone is silent. Your head is pounding. Jill hands you water, allowing you to sit up from where you were laying on her lap. You can feel how bruised your neck is and how hard it is to breathe.

The memories of what had happened prior to you passing out come rushing back. It hurts your heart to even think of him, to think of that night. How you believed that all of those whispered promises of love might have been a lie.

He could have killed you, but he didn’t. He couldn’t, not when he still loved you. He never lied, but he couldn’t stay either. It takes a while for you to realize this.

"Where is he?" You attempt to force the words out, but it hurts so badly.

Chris and Jill look at each other for a moment. Neither of them spoke, but you could tell what had happened. You could see it in Chris' eyes. Wesker was gone.

[definitelynotshouting]

Hi!! Hello!! Your worldbuilding has once again enchanted and fascinated me! But I have no one to talk to about mcyt-related worldbuilding so I’m just going to (definitelynot) shout (ha ha. I’m funny.) at you if that’s ok!!

Ever since I found this fandom I’ve been fascinated by how to deal with video game mechanics in writing, and I’ve found it a very interesting ongoing puzzle, to come up with worldbuilding or lore to explain the more mechanical, coding-based stuff and cover up the fact that the characters are in a videogame. I think that’s part of why I love your worldbuilding so much, because you went in completely the opposite direction, and made Code the base, the reality-fabric, of all the rest of your universe! It kinda blew my mind!

Anyway, the player inventory and in-game chat are two of the most glaringly Video Game mechanics, and two of the first that I came up with explanations for, which is why I (like Tango) latched onto those few lines and details about them in chapter four. For me, they’re both explained by the very flexible fabric of reality inherent to server-words. Because reality is so easy to manipulate (and be manipulated without breaking down) in these worlds, it’s easy for Players to simply open a small personal pocket dimension they can store stuff in. (The same way it’s easy to make something float by just leaving it there and taking away what connects it to the ground) the chat happenes basically the same way. Server-worlds allow for a very shallow telepathic link across all players that everyone experiences a little differently (you might see it scroll across the inside of you arm, look at it in the corner of your vision, actually hear it quietly in your head, etc.)

But that’s a lot of My Ideas, I am, in fact, here because of Your Ideas. Because I’ve alway seen them as sperate things, and I am So Curious about how you’ve linked them. The chat being on external comms on a watch or phone-like device seems pretty common in the fandom, but linking them the way you have — in that you can’t have an inventory without a comm — raises so many questions!! (/pos) how do they work? Are they mechanical? Magical? Natural? Bio-magical? If they were something that needed to be invented, who invented them? How long have they been around? What did people do before then? How does a new player get their first comm/inventory? If comms can comunicate across worlds, could they theoretically take their inventory across worlds/servers as well? Is cross-void trade a very dangerous, but lucrative, profession? Do they have to exchange comm-phone-numbers or can they immediately contact anyone they’ve ever met? If you have stuff in your inventory and you loose your comm, do you lose the stuff too? Or does it transfer like an ender chest? Could someone else steal your inventory by stealing your comm? Does a player have to attune to a comm like a dnd magic item? How common is it to have to build a new one?

I’m gonna stop now because this is really long, it’s 11, and I Will just keep thinking of more questions. I’m so intrigued by this!! Those few little lines have completely captivated me with their potential!! I’m excited!!

(Sorry if this had a bit too much of my own personal worldbuilding ramble, I just really wanna talk to someone about this stuff!)

Ive been 👁️👁️ at this ask since you sent it in and first of all im so sorry the autism won for a bit and kept me from answering your questions, second of all i think your worldbuilding is SO NEAT :DDD this is SUPER COOL i love your ideas, comms being a telepathic link is so interesting to me!!! Also, im intensely flattered that you like the direction i took with hunger au's worldbuilding so much!! I've been having a lot of fun sorta marrying biology and irl physics with computer programming-based building building blocks for this universe, to the point where im actually starting to put together a legit glossary in my masterlist doc to keep it all straight in my head 😂😂😂 it's an interesting challenge for me to try and meld all these things together so i can make something that feels completely different from our world without losing its relatability, so im super glad you're appreciating it!!!

These are a lot of questions im gonna try and answer all at once, so i'll put it beneath the cut so it doesnt clog people's dashes LMAO

So firstly, the way i view communicators is,,, okay dont laugh too hard but i literally just visualize them as pip boys from fallout SKDNJWNDJS for some reason ive NEVER been able to shake that mental image, so ive just sorta accepted that into how i view them for hunger au. Personally, i see them as sort of a... mishmash of the bio-mechanical, something that isnt QUITE a direct part of them but is very much attached and integrated with their code. So its not like an organ, but an interface, i guess-- comms are how you can access an inventory, which is basically just hammerspace the way you've already described it, and where you can change your own surface code, and its also just... the way Players are able to interact with the worlds around them.

You also send messages with comms, but instead of there being anything like phone numbers, you're forming a direct link between your comm and someone else's!!! Not telepathic the way you've done with your worldbuilding, but because i see comms in this universe as something that latches onto and interacts with your code, its still a very important connection. Once connected, you can talk to that person all the time through your comm, even if they arent currently on your server-- although I do think that this only extends to when youre within the same server cluster.

As for how Players get them in the first place: for spawned Players, they just spawn in with them. Thats where the bio part comes in i think, and its a little hard for me to explain the way i view it, but its something like... i guess a bit like when moons form around planets. The code of an entity has a certain weight to it, and when a Player and their singleplayer world spawns in, the comm does with them, already attached and integrated with their code. For birthed Players, its very different-- they arent born with a comm, so they need a comm made, and then integrated with their code by a skilled code wrangler. It is VERY tricky to make a comm-- theyre incredibly fiddly, super hard to code without mistakes, and they take an extraordinarily long time to put together, let alone integrate properly with someone's code. Im not sure the word dangerous is the most accurate term here, but there are potentially harmful consequences if you integrate a poorly made comm with someone's code.

As for inventory transfer, i think you can bring stuff in your inventory from one server to another. This is mostly used for personal items or gifts, i think-- Player culture and attitude generally emphasizes fun, and whats more fun than giving someone something special that you made/got for them, or bringing a little memento with you from an old world you want to remember?

Theoretically, im sure there are Players who bring supplies or previously used tools with them to new worlds, but i think most Players like the excitement and challenge of starting fresh. It all depends on the person and the community culture surrounding that server if its a multiplayer. Cross-void trade is probably definitely a thing, but i dont think its necessarily very dangerous, just something more personal that you'd do for yourself or for a friend rather than any kind of business model.

As for someone being able to steal a comm, i dont think you can if its attached to the Player it belongs to, because at that point its basically a part of them. They can take them off, though, so someone could potentially steal it then, but unless theyre a skilled code wrangler and can crack into it, i dont think it would work for them or let them access that person's inventory. It would, however, be an incredibly effective (and cruel) way of controlling someone's actions and where they can go/who they can talk to.

This is why, ultimately, lost comms are a huge deal; losing your comm is literally losing access to pieces of yourself, your world, and your community. And while as a Watcher, Grian doesnt technically need a comm to access his code or enter other servers, he does still need it to keep in touch with other people and facilitate those community bonds, as well as keep an inventory. So yeah, Tango fretting over Grian losing his comm was very much warranted.

AAAAAAA THIS WAS VERY LONG i hope it was worth the wait!!! I know you sent another question but im gonna answer that one separately later since its about a different subject, and this is already SOOOO MUCH RAMBLING on my part. Thank you for sending these asks, and you are absolutely welcome to ramble at me as much as you want!!! :D

[single-malt-scotch]

nebtho masterpost

alright. alright its time, ive put together enough for this-- this is more so a means to expose/explain to new fans an old era of mcyt thats is kinda hard to access. admittedly i only kept this to nebris/etho because itd just be too hard to piece all missing bits of Death Games together.... its not nearly as wild or in depth as present day things but its dear to me.... old fan art/fic is what got me obsessed w these two back in the day and their dynamic is fun!! and i think its worth exposing ppl to some of this old etho lore :)

nebris+ethoslab was a popular pair back in 2012-2014 era Mindcrack fandom. i assume most of yall know who etho is but nebris was also a member of the server. He was often regarded as cunning and sly, and referred to as "cheaty nebris" for various reasons (whether it was the insane amount of obsidian he managed to acquire for his base, or how he miraculously survived a fight in UHC while barely losing a heart). now why did they become a popular pair?? well.

Death games-- Etho's "game" he came up with in mindcrack s3, is mostly where it took off. They had many interactions in the forms of pranks and whatnot prior (nebris with 'team america', pranking team canada), but this is kinda where a dynamic formed-- Etho's pov starts with him getting back at mcgamer and nebris for killing pause multiple times (streamed here). The game's rules are that etho kills them a total of four times, or they can kill each other to reduce the kill count on their heads. This is definitely where etho gained his reputation of being scary back then lol. Nebris' first perspective on the matter is here.

in both of those first videos, Etho's ganged up on them in a livestream with nebris, mc, and millbee when they went to his base... in which he quickly kills them off with ease. From there is escalates!

s3 death games encounters (from oldest onward) are here:

Nebris pov, july 4th, 2012 - nebris falls to his death when trying to fight etho. a fun fact: nebris tried to keep etho out by blocking his portal with clay... since etho wouldnt break clay.

Etho pov, july 5th, 2012 - same episode as above, also showing how etho had a secret room right behind nebris' bed, which allowed him to die and respawn there without using a portal.

Etho pov, july 6th, 2012 - in which etho attempts and succeeds at killing nebris.

Nebris pov, july 6th, 2012 - same episode as etho's from that day.

theres undoubtedly potentially more bits of interactions out there and that is one of the problems of these old videos... theres lots of them, theyre long, and not all the titles give away if its related. Eventually i will build a more solid playlist but this is just death games!

there is a good backlog of fanfiction out there, i can tell you that. dig into the depths of dreamwidth, even. im sure theres quite a lot of fan art strewn across tumblr entirely untagged. regardless, its was surely one the first popular ships that characterized etho in his exaggerated mysterious self that people do with him today.

[dirtbag-linecook-kyloren]

because i basically also use tumblr as a diary we're going to do some SMALL real life posting below the cut feel free to ignore it i'm just talking lol

I have a friend IRL who also writes fic, though she's relatively new to publishing, but I mentioned my Fandom Trumps Hate stuff to her because she has the background to get it and I was excited. When the winning bid changed, she asked how many words that was and I said "127k" and she was like, "that's more than I wrote last year." Which is fine and fair, she's an english teacher she has a job that requires thought and not just mindless stress

but in my head this was a "oh we're sharing how much we wrote last year situation," which looking back I think I misread In the future I'm going to take a "you still wrote something" approach, but I said I wrote like 250k last year, because I did the math and i did. but her first, IM CERTAIN instictive reaction was the this look and i don't know how to describe it but it was WILD and not envy but gave the impression of "i wish you hadn't said that" and maybe a tinge of "im not sure how i feel about that" and in my head I was like

hey like i get that i dropped out of college and you were an english major but a few years after I dropped out I was working at a diner and spent a whole year basically training myself like a dog to write whenever

and now im breaking my process down into pieces so small that no matter how fogged my brain is I can work and like

i worked really hard to be able to write this much you cannot just expect that from yourself without work?? like i found the methods that are effective for me because I took the time to try out DOZENS OF METHODS and I failed at a lot of them but now ive got one and its why after a decade of not finishing long things all i can do is finish things

but i can't say that to a person so we just moved on but like

writing isnt a calling its an active choice you make??? for some people its a hobby and that's fine but my intent is to move into traditional publishing, so i treat fan fiction like a job because at some point i INTEND FOR WRITING TO BE MY JOB so i have to take it seriously now so i dont burn out?? so i don't get advances and then find myself incapable of meeting deadlines?? like

anyway this was my warm up in a weird way but thats a small bit of real life posting behind every authors word count is the time they practiced to get to it i wrote like 100,000 shitty words last year that never saw the light of day and 250,000 that did and that's just how writing is??

[anawrites3]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

I got tagged by @zeroducks-2, thanks love 💕💕 Sorry it took me so long to answer -3-

How many works do you have on AO3? It's 44 (+1 unrevealed)! And 19 of that are DC fics

What’s your total A03 word count? 163,947 I need to post more on ao3, huh

What fandoms do you write for? Mostly DC rn, tho I have a few fics for COD

What are your top five fics by kudos? on this account all of those are bakudeku because I've been very deep in the fandom until last year lmao so I'm going to cheat a little :3 and list the ones from DC fandom to self-promote myself a little 😂

1. taking a break (alone, please) at 345! I'm really happy with that and quite surprised because it's the very first proper sladick fic I wrote! Dick gets hurt during a mission so Slade takes him somewhere to take care of the wound and maybe have a little fun while he's at that. The only problem is that Dick's comm gets turned on at some point.

2. unexpectedly beneficial at 289. This is surprise since it's a New Year fic and those, in my experience, never get that much kudso lmao It's also my second fic! Dick's stuck at Brucie's New Year Eve's party. Slade comes over to keep him company

3. bunny-shaped trouble at 230 kudos, the idea came from Claudia who sent me a prompt 💕 Dick gets turned into a bunny and takes the opportunity to annoy the hell out of Slade

4. persistence at 219! This was my entry for sladerobin week and for some reason I was very anxious so I'm glad its so high in the ranks Dick goes on an undercover mission, where he has to seduce the target. Slade isn't very happy about that.

5. conflict resolution at 217 kudos! It's the first part of the series and well, let's be honest, compared to the rest (that is posted here on tumblr now, im working on it to post it properly on ao3) it isn't very exciting but I still love it and I'm happy it's so high as well! King Slade Wilson offers the way to stop the war between Gotham and Defiance. He will stop the attacks if prince Richard becomes his royal consort.

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I always do!! Sometimes it just takes me longer (like rn oops) but I always make sure to respond to comments and show people how much I appreciate them taking the moment to share their thoughts with me 💕💕

What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? It's definitely keeping what's mine because Dick is having awful time in this one, to the point that I tagged it as hurt/no comfort because well, Dick is hurt and doesnt get any comfort. I mean, he kind of does? But it doesnt actually comfort him so yeah 😂

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? I write a lot of fluff so this is actually a very difficult question lmao but I would say it's (not) willing to share which is a short domestic fluff. And Dick has a cat so that's very happy for me haha

Do you get hate on your fic? I do not, actually! And I'm a little surprised by it because sladick and batkids ships gets hated on a lot

Do you write smut? More and more lately

Do you write crossovers? Not really right now, no

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Thankfully no or at least I dont know about it lol

Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope

Have you ever co-written a fic? Not yet but I think it would be really fun!

What‘s your all-time favourite ship? I have one of those for every fandom I'm in lmao and right now it's sladick

What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Gosh, don't say that lmao! Buut *looks quickly through the list of my wips* probably the one I named "the middle of the night" which is like,,, undercover mision identity porn masquerade ball sladick story that Im very exciting about but for some reason I just keep moving it down on my list of wips sooo... yeah. Maybe cause masquerade balls need a lot of dance descriptions and I suck at that lmao

What’s your writing strengths? Writing dialogue! I like it a lot and I've been told I'm good at it :3

What’s your writing weaknesses? Actually sitting down to start writing 😂 and more complicated descriptions like fights or dances and stuff like that, I'm still working on it

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I like it a lot actually but not if there's too much of it - just a few sentences are enough or just a few words thrown here and there, and there needs to be translation somewhere in the fic, in the notes or something because people should know what the characters are saying but yeah, I like how it directly shows that someone is speaking in another language instead of writing "he cursed in russian" or other stuff like that

First fandom you wrote for? *hides my face into my hands* Strawberry Shortcake probably... from when I was still a babey...

Favourite fic you’ve ever written? sun and sunflower, a little brudick story about Bruce being smitten and a coward

Tagging time! @roipecheur @wingdingery @blackbeanbao @enak-s and anyone who'd like to do it as well!

[armedjoy]

a long and (later on) personal post about my engagement and future on this site beneath the cut

to start, some observations about my time here:

disco elysium holds the record for the first fandom im truly engaging with. i check the tags, read the 'spinoff' fiction, its fun. one could say our ideological milieus here are themselves a fandom, but in terms of something thats strictly media, this is it. going on 11 years here and thats what broke the streak, its that fucking good.

i regret deleting my sideblog 'information-nexus' back in '15. it was an organized and well-tagged news, theory, "how-to", and resource blog, but it was taking way too much of my time. i was attempting to make a whole ass virtual library on tumblr, which is far too ambitious for one person, especially considering that it would never pay bills. i shouldve opened it up to some friends to co-mod it and dialed back my involvement. oh well

i regret less the deletion of 'film-space' in '14. posts were just the movie poster with a brief summary of the plot and then a quick review. i came up with my own system that reworked the 4 star ratings into how id recommend based on genre preferences. film reviews in print seem to belabor the point and online reviews seem to lean too heavily on arbitrarily defined scoring. the point should be to either encourage or dissuade readers from seeing it, not remind them you're the wittiest person in the room or that you've atomized the medium into an exploded diagram, and i held to that. it forced me to watch movies more critically wrt to both the art form and the politics it portrayed. but i took an extended break from the site and lost momentum. it just seemed... pointless

ive been pretty bad with managing every inbox/ chat ive ever had - except this one, the personal blog. i tell myself "i'll get around to answering that" and thats been a lie most of the time. the vast majority of my time here is spent reading things that cross my dash, so getting a question on a completely different subject seems to exceed my bandwidth. i genuinely enjoy most of my interactions here but im simply not in the correct mindset most days. that said, most of the mail 'left-reminders' has gotten just feels like im being asked to do an undergrads homework.

i havent posted my face in, what, 8 years? which i might change. i mean im already fucked - ive posted some wild shit before [REDACTED] was a meme, and my face is already linked to this blog & backed up somewhere at fort meade. whats another hole in an already sunk ship, yeah?

funnily enough, i originally joined to post my photography & short stories. look how that turned out lmao

why am i posting this? ive been seriously evaluating my continued presence here. for some time ive had a desire to leave, which up to this point has been greatly outweighed by the reasons to stay. there are other platforms that are bigger, faster, algorithmically supercharged to provide every niche interest you allow it to know... but im still not as invested as i am here. tumblr's appeal is equal parts utilitarian and sentimental - no other platform has been this educational, informing, and entertaining. this place really is the internets bleeding edge for both humor and anarchist/ communist discourse. and for more personal reasons, i have greatly valued sharing this little corner of the internet with you all. i have enjoyed sharing each of your interests and discussions, witnessing your personal developments. know that this random guy on the internet is & always has been rooting for you.

ive had some serious rough patches over the last decade, and ive used this site as a grounding rod as much as a resource and social outlet. but my friend group is vast now, im living healthier, and im making positive changes. for the first in a very long time, i am truly feeling better, finally moving beyond 'managing' into 'growing.' and more than anything, i need to grow creatively.

simply put, writing fiction is the calling of my heart. and if im to commit to it, i cannot divide my attention. beyond being my sole committed creative outlet, it helps me manage daily life. writing feels like gardening: in the structure it builds to do it right, the determination it requires to continue when i fail, and the joy it inspires when i create. when an idea settles in and i can piece it together while going about my day, only sitting down to write when i know most of it. the emotion i experience after unwinding something that has rooted itself around my mind is tremendous and complicated - it feels like an exorcism, of sorts. the feverishness that seizes me to get it all down before it slips away, the relief when i know i can finally move on, the pride of creation, and the dreadful anticipation of being read - all of it is a bittersweet cup that i will gladly return to.

i need to make space for that, with whatever little amount of bandwidth i have to work with. i refuse to wake up one day knowing that i have postponed the only thing thats ever meant a damn to me, only to realize ive run out of time. i will not squander whats left.

at some point, i know i need to put this behind me. this, and several other self-imposed obligations, must greatly diminish or disappear entirely. it might be in a few weeks or a year, but it has to happen. i might keep this one up, sporadically popping in for occasional exchanges, and pass off the sideblogs to someone else. i've already scrubbed the archive. or maybe i'll just delete entirely; perhaps virtual presences are best if they resembled a sand mandala, something designed to be swept away to make space for something - or someone - new.

i had to write this down, get this all out, if only for myself. i cannot begin to estimate the amount of time ive spent here, so it had to be said for my own reconciliation of that time... and to keep myself to it.

when im ready to leave, i'll let you all know.

[mononijikayu]

Hi Kayu~ Your latest chapter of A.o.L had my JAW DROPPED. NO WAY SHE HAD A KID WITH MO. I was like “hol up, why she do that?” but after the story I understood why she had another kid. Bro the DOMAIN EXPANSION is actually kinda OP ngl especially in the golden age of sorcery and Hiromi’s tie to Hida, it makes her so powerful. Which I think for people you haven’t read your Gojo stuff with Gem, it really encapsulates how important it was for the Gojo to marry her. It was truly for protection because she’s literally so OP (and love later on). okay JUST A HYPOTHETICAL, imagine “Hiromi” (or someone that looks like her in modern day) runs into Sukuna in Yuji’s body or even WORSE she’s in the culling games 🫣

Sorry you feel so discouraged :( writing on tumblr is so hard because a majority of the time people either read your stuff and don’t interact or they just don’t drop by and say hi :/ You are certainly not alone in feeling this and if you have to take a break off tumblr you are allowed to do so~ I will wait months, if not years to see another work from you. You’ve carved a spot yourself in the JJK fandom and I think that it’ll just take time for more people to notice you. Like historic JJK fic’s are super in rn and the audience just has to find you~

All the love and virtual hugs 💕

- ✈️

i saw this before i took a nap but these lovely words made me feel so 🥰🥰🥰🥰❗️❗️❗️❗️— so thank you!!!

hiromi knew that something was going to happen and really thought that the ryomen would not be able to stand by themselves, not especially with sukuna around. if she dies, sukuna's not going to stop the cycle of violence just to avenge her. and she doesnt want that. leaving it all to masaomi and their kid and taking away that power from sukuna, its her will. she wants it all to end!

hiromi's entire power is VERY OP. but its very deadly too. its why the 2nd user died at a young age. the fact that she holds off using it until a specific point says a lot. its another reason why sukuna felt like he had to be strong. because he has to match up with a god.

and yeah, the mikoto were aware that the zenin had plans to use that power against anyone and everyone. so genmei marrying satoru saved her and jujutsu society. genmei and megumi were definitely lucky with him!!! he worries a lot when she uses her power, though. he's hiromi's descendant too. he doesnt want genmei to end up like hiromi!!!

hiromi and genmei look alike already, but i guess the differences exist because she has that zenin look. but hiromi and sukuna do see each other again in the modern times. the last chapter for AOL is definitely going to start that and end up being extended in Us and Them!!! also, i can see hiromi being interested in the culling games too 😩☝️

thank you for validating that feeling. i feel like i do write but i think maybe i need to adjust things when writing and interact with people more. i feel like i just come by and just drop a chapter and leave — i feel like that also affects it too. but i am pretty burnt out right now and with how algorithms work and in between with back to back exams for me, i might take a break!!!

im grateful to know that you'll be here waiting, nonnie!!! i already wrote down the plot points for the last wo chapters of AOL, i just need to write them after my exams~ i look forward to seeing you then and after too!!!

i think i did carve a space for me here too. i hope i can do well and enjoy with people still. thats the biggest wish i have when i write — that people would enjoy with me!!! ill wait until that happens, i think. you can wish upon a star for the best 🤩

thank you for all your words, nonnie!!! ill treasure them!!! i hope this wasnt too long and that it got my genuine heart across!!! love you nonnie!!! mwah 😚😚😚

[struggle-but-its-all-ocean-floor]

hello! im not usually active on here (i use twitter more) but i stumbled on your asks while scrolling through my feed and after reading some, i realized that we have the same stance on chapter two. when it was announced that each member would be releasing their own solo album, i was super excited. ive loved everything each member has put out before including collabs and their songs on soundcloud so, of course, i was excited to see what this chapter had to bring! looking back, i have no idea how my feelings abt this changed so much.

it was definitely after face that i started to get a bit tired with all the releases but i still streamed and kept up with all the content because i truly do love all their solo works and wanna give all seven members my full support. i was definitely a bit overstimulated with how much individual content we were getting, which could be why i started to feel these things, but ive always shown my support.

although im vmin biased and adore the layover album with my whole heart, i definitely think layover era was definitely my breaking point. twitter has become so insufferable and has just created a space so negative that its hard to even enjoy anything. i was so excited for layover but everytime i would go on twitter, solo stans would be tweeting nonsense and comparing numbers and its just all too much. this has been a problem ever since chapter two started but i never saw how bad it was until now and its honestly heartbreaking. i miss when there was no division between the members and everyone was supported equally among the fandom. ive spent a lot of time on twitter and would just block solo stans and call it a day but its come to the point where its impossible to just block and ignore bc theres way too many! chapter two has definitely fueled their narratives and given them more confidence for some reason but i truly hope theyre gone when 2025 comes around.

even some fans have started acting like solo stans but hide behind the fact that theyre heavily biased. theres clearly a difference in how armys treat the members and it definitely shows more with how they treated each solo release which is just disappointing. i understand people have different music tastes but would it hurt to act excited for a member that you supposedly love?

ive never noticed this before but this chapter definitely showed some armys true colors. this chapter also did an amazing job of fueling solo stans and their narrative that their favorite could go solo and leave bts behind, which is completely untrue and none of the members would actually want that. because of this, twitter has become such an uncomfortable space and has definitely made me less excited abt future solo works which ive never thought would happen since i love new bts music.

im definitely gonna take a break from twitter until jin comes back but for now, i really do wish i was able to enjoy chapter two without such negative feelings. i was truly very excited but looking back, i see how rushed everything was and although im glad each member was able to shine in their own way and explore with different genres, sometimes i wish this chapter took a different approach or just never happened. im hoping this feeling goes away when bts are fully seven again but i dont know. i just felt the need to let that out since ive been feeling this way for so long that i started to feel guilty bc ive never had such negative feelings towards bts before.

and of course, this is no hate to bts! i love my boys and have gone all out for all solo releases. im more just ranting abt army twitter and how they kinda ruined this experience for me which isnt the boys faults at all.

Your feelings are valid! You don't need to feel only positive things about people you love. Think about the people you love most that you know personally. Have you never been disappointed in them, with or without reason? Have you never been irritated by them, irrationally or righteously? Have you never wanted distance from them, because you wanted space or because you were upset with them? People only have these kind of unrealistic expectations about love when it comes to their favorite celebrity. Having mixed feelings about people you're close to, or even love, is just life.

Fandom is a large part of being Army - I mean, it's right there in the name -, of course bad fandom experiences can "turn you off" from the group. Before this blog actually started to resonate with some people, I wanted to delete it and hated myself every time I posted because I felt that all I did was spread hate - even when it was more political and not really about BTS themselves. I felt so alone and it was hard being a fan. Then, because of my Jikook and Jungkook posts, more people started following me and interacting with me - for example, sending me asks like this - and everything changed. Now I know that if I don't like something, I can share it, and someone will most likely feel the same way. It makes a world of difference...

I don't think I was ever that excited about chapter 2 tbh. And, unlike you, I definitely was disappointed by most releases. Most of it grew on me over time though, and I genuinely appreciate everything BTS has accomplished in chapter 2. I had so many mixed feelings about Jungkook, and still regularly get annoyed and disappointed, but when I see everything he's been able to achieve... like having the fourth most streamed song on Spotify this year??? With 3 months of tracking? Being the first Asian act ever in the top 5?? That's crazy. His music is so loved, and he's done so many cool things... I wouldn't trade solo era for anything. I really believe they needed this. There was always so much talk about BTS having no individual branding, and everyone wondered how well they would do solo - I'm sure BTS themselves had these thoughts about how they'd manage on their own - and now we/they know. They did great!

Obviously, chapter 2 made solos worse and fueled petty competition between the members, but I don't think it was that bad? These issues have always existed in the fandom and I don't believe chapter 2 made things that much worse. I still see so much support for OT7...

Honestly, I'm OT7 but I love Jungkook way more than the other members... I only streamed for Jungkook because otherwise I didn't have the motivation to stream songs I didn't want to listen to that many times. I think it's impossible to expect everyone to have the same energy towards every member. I listened to every song and album in chapter 2, and watched most of the performances, but with so much content, I couldn't be bothered to keep up with most of it. I have, like, 10 Jungkook lives as well as radio interviews and other videos of Jungkook to watch still.

Another point, I think it's easy to get caught up in fandom battles. I found myself pitting JK against Jimin, for example, because I saw so much of it and maybe I'm naturally competitive? You just get sucked into the bullshit as well. Even if you're not a crazy toxic fan, Twitter can change you.

Sadly, solos will still be around in 2025, and a lot of them will still be crying out over mistreatment and other bullshit. Now the members have "legitimate" solo stans too - ie. people who became fans during solo era and didn't bother checking out, or liked, the other members.

There was definitely so much content that it was overwhelming, but that's BTS tbh. I've just been a fan since 2019, but I was only not overwhelmed with content in, maybe, 2022?

This post kinda got away from me, but, yeah, take a break from Twitter, don't feel bad for feeling tired and overwhelmed with all the content (what Army isn't tbh), and my ask box is open anytime you want to vent!

Thanks for the ask!

[pepperochau]

Dunsparce 2: The ReDunsing

so this is the follow-up post i wanted to make as a sort of coda to the post about dudunsparce, just to kinda go over why i feel that "dunce" is a bit of a generous misreading among english-speaking pokemon fans, mostly using bulbapedia as my example here given how popular it is to use. i'll put a break here like the last post, mostly because there's a good handful of images to go over lol.

so to start: the original version of bulbapedia's dunsparce article was created on March 6th 2005. with a then much smaller userbase, it took until March 29th for a "Name Origin" subsection to be created and populated, a screenshot of which should be below:

this was the state the article persisted for over 2 years. mostly. some changes were made to move/remove the line about flying snakes, but the focus of this post is about the name origin so i'm keeping our focus on that. anyway, that was how the article looked until October 30th 2007, where the article was then amended as follows:

to be fair, I can't fault them for providing a thorough entry. those are indeed many definitions of the word dunce. but note the language used: could be. again , to be fair to the user, it's difficult to suss out the components of a complex pun without knowing the author's intentions, but "could be" is a lot less certain and authoritative than "may be" or "can" are. the extra definition of sparse as "meager" also suggests to me a level of personal umbrage with dunsparce, but that's just my onion. although, a later editor would also agree that the new definitions were a bit much, and after another two years, the article was later pared down and edited to fit the bulbapedia style on November 29th 2009. they still maintained "dunce", however:

because history loves patterns, not much would happen within the dunsparce article for yet another two years where two edits were fired off in relatively hyperspeed succession. the first: a claim that "spear" may be a potential name origin, on account of its drilling tail. the second, not even twenty minutes later: a reversion of the prior edit, along with...the additional removal of "dunce"!

oh yes, much rejoicement all around! finally, the goofy fat snake has been removed from the burden of-

damnit.

Five years. Five whole years. that's how long it took for someone, anyone, to notice that "dunce" was no longer within the article. and then, with what i can only assume was the same rationale that added it to the article some nine years prior, it was readded once more.

for the sake of conciseness, i've condensed the next few major events into this image block:

and this has how the article has remained, until August 30th 2023, where in the wee hours of the morning i created a personal bulbapedia account to remove the "dunce", and provided what I feel is a reasonable rationale for doing so. i do also plan to spruce up the dudunsparce page at some point, but i want to avoid looking like a kooky fatsnake evangelist and i also want to do some more research on spanish folklore to make sure i have a solid basis for adding anything before i get started.

now you may be wondering why i care so much about a name origin. well firstly, i like dunsparce—it's one of my favorites of gen 2, so im a bit biased. secondly, i'm pretty sure i have an undiagnosed something or other so this is how my brain is telling me to spend my time this week: dunsparce and dudunsparce. thirdly, after actually looking through the article's edit history, i feel like the users of bulbapedia, and the wider pokemon fandom, deserve to have higher standards for the curation of information. would it be fair to scolipede, for example, if someone were to add "lip" as a potential name origin because it just happens to be in scolipede's name? what about cofagrigus? perhaps drednaw takes inspiration from the color "red"? should moe syzlak of the simpsons be considered the namesake of cosmoem???

all i'm saying is: dunsparce has been an article for over ~18 years now. ~8 of those years (2+5+1) were spent dunceless while ~10 (4+3+3) were spent dunced. it's not like these gaps were from a lack of research either, but rather from a lack of care about sourcing information. i mean, five whole years before someone even stopped to think "hey where did the dunce go".

and you know what, maybe i'm the one in the wrong here. maybe there's a yet-undiscovered translator interview out there which can explain what the naming process was for dunsparce, and i'll be proven wrong. i'd be fine with that. but until such a source is found, i think it's safer to err on the side of caution with names.

edit: also, i know i said i'd contact a bulbapedia mod to ask their process, but honestly i don't think they have a process so mid-research i felt it would be a bit pointless to ask