#which is why I don't mind the $$$ but that doesn't mean I won't be making my own money 👀

[muwapsturniolo]

Cyber Sex 💿 M. Sturniolo

"W-was it good?"

✘ sub!matt, loser!matt, domish!reader, riding, hand jobs, titty sucking, one use of mommy.

PT 1 PT2 PT3

Decided to give yall an early xmas gift!!! enjoy the last part to cyber sex!!!!

Weeks.

It's been weeks since she had seen Matt and given him a blowjob. He had accepted his reward of taking her out on a date, but now it seemed like he was avoiding her.

Which was partially true.

As always, he was focused on his studies, especially with finals coming up. He stayed cooped up in his room or in the library, taking notes on top of notes. Passing all his tests was one of the only things on his mind, the other being her.

He wasn't trying to avoid her on purpose, but he will admit he's been milking the studying excuse.

It wasn't that he didn't like her, he was infatuated with her. It was just the fact the she was...well, her.

Everything about her was intimidating to him, the way she carried herself, the way she smiled, the way she squinted her eyes when she was up to no good.

She was a force to be reckoned with, and she knew it too.

So here she was, gathering the bags of takeout and other things, leaving her apartment with one thing on her mind.

Matt.

She doesn't take the elevator, knowing that the stairs would be quicker, and she's right.

Soon, she's standing in front of Matt's door, a determined look on her face. She knocks twice and waits impatiently for the door to open.

Unfortunately for her, it doesn't. She huffs and knocks again, but this time louder, the impatience she's feeling only getting stronger. Soon, she hears the muffled sound of cursing and some movement before the door opens.

" Hell-" Matt's breath catches in his throat as he sees her in all her glory. His eyes widen, and he fixes his glasses, looking off to the side.

"H-Hey what are you-" She ignores him and pushes her way into the apartment, looking around for a few seconds before setting her items down on the coffee table.

"Alright Matthew, let's talk." The tone of her voice makes him look down at the floor.

"You have been avoiding me, I don't know why, but you have, and to be honest, I don't like it. So what's your issue?"

He scoffs softly and crosses his arms, looking like a scolded child.

"M'not avoiding you..." He trails off, knowing good and well that he's lying. She stands in front of him and tilts her head, not believing him for a second. " Oh really? You're not avoiding me? Fine then, guess I'll go tell someone else that they wo-No!" He shouts unexpectedly. A small smirk makes its way onto her face as he watches him fidget anxiously.

"I-I'm sorry ok? I just....Like I said, you make me nervous, and then finals are starting, so I've just been everywhere... I-I didn't mean to make you feel bad o-or anything." Her smirk drops as she realizes this runs deeper than him simply avoiding her.

He truly was scared and nervous; this was all new to him, and he didn't know how to navigate it, and finals coming up wasn't helping him at all.

She softens her demeanor as he continues on, rambling in an attempt to clear the air. "I-I do want to take you on a date...I just don't want to disappoint you o-or embarrass myself..." She wasn't dumb, she could read between the lines.

He didn't want to disappoint her sexually.

"Matt....You don't have to worry about th-"

"Ok but it is something to worry about! I'm 21, and I've never done anything remotely sexual! All I do is stay to myself and study! I might as well be called a loser! hell, maybe even an incel!"

She stares at him with a straight face, "Matt-"

"And then here you are, the most experienced person I've met, the most prettiest girl, and yet I'm being a pussy and won't even take you out on a date! I'm fumbling! Hard! If this were a test, I'd fail!"

She finds herself smiling softly at his academic analogies.

"Are you done?" She asks him once he finally stops talking. He huffs and adjusts his glasses, running a hand through his hair. "Good. Now shut up and listen to me." She takes a step closer to him, his breath hitching.

"I don't care about any of that, ok? I don't care that you're a virgin and that I was the first girl to hear you moan." His cheeks flush a soft pink, his palms getting sweaty.

"What I care about is a boy that I find cute, sexual feelings aside, won't take me out on a date.....Now, I got takeout and a Lego set I'm not building alone. Do you want to join, take a break from studying?"

So there they were in Matt's living room, giggling and building a Lego set, the empty boxes of takeout discarded on the coffee table. The tension once in Matt's shoulder had disappeared, now knowing nothing was expected of him, and she wasn't worried about any of that.

He was able to relax, slowly coming out of his shell. She enjoyed his company, his witty remarks, his dad jokes, and the way he laughed. She was getting to know more about him and his life.

He was a good person to be around.

"I don't know where the piece goes!" He grunts in frustration as he tries to shove the Lego piece against another. She chuckles and snatches the instructions off the floor and holds them up. "This is why we have instructions, but no, you're too good for instructions.'' she teases.

He looks at her with a face of mock annoyance, "I'll have you know I've built multiple Lego sets with no instructions!" He points towards the various sets displayed around his apartment.

"Ok well, clearly your no instructions streak is over." Matt huffs and snatches the instruction from her grasp, shooting her a sharp look when he hears her snickering. He looks down at the small words and begins to read them, his eyes darting across the page as his tongue pokes out in concentration. As he does so, she takes the time to really examine him.

He had on a white thermal along with some grey sweatpants, his hair was a bit messy from how many times he ran his fingers through it, and he just looked

good.

"I think I got it!" His shouts of excitement brought her out of her daze, her eyes trailing down to the paper pamphlet falling to the floor. She sits on her knees and moves closer, their faces side by side as he puts the Lego piece in its correct spot. His hands moved quickly as he put the other parts together, his body bouncing in excitement.

It doesn't take long for the display to be finished, Matt's head whipping towards her.

"Done! Told you I didn't need the-" His words trail off once he realizes how close she is. She feels his body tense and his breath hitch, his eyes darting between her lips and eyes.

She quickly takes notice, the corners of her mouth twitching gently.

"Do you wanna kiss me?"

Her voice comes out in a teasing whisper, her eyes taunting him. He gives a slight nod, his tongue darting out to lick his dry lips.

"Y-yeah...."

"Then kiss me."

It's cute to her how scared he was, the way he slowly leaned forward and softly placed his lips against hers. She hums and stops him from pulling away, deepening the kiss and taking full control, allowing her tongue to enter his mouth. She pushes him back against the bottom of the couch and climbs into his lap, pressing her chest against his.

She giggles softly feeling his cock begin to harden underneath her, the tent growing bigger and bigger. She grinds against him, enjoying the way he whimpers softly.

She goes to pull his pants down, but he quickly grabs her hands, stopping it from going further.

"W-wait wait! I-I'm sorry, I umm-" He clears his throat as he pulls away from the kiss, his breathing ragged.

"Hey hey-" She caresses his face and chest gently, trying to calm him down. "What are you saying sorry for? We don't have to do anything you don't want to."

"I-I want to I just...." His face turns beet red as he thinks about him being a virgin. He knew that she already knows this information, but having to say it out loud, the thought, It was just embarrassing for him.

"I know, that doesn't bother me Matt."

"I-It doesn't?" He was confused, why would it not bother her? Why isn't it bothering her? Don't girls want a guy who knows what he's doing in the bedroom?

She smiles and plants her lips against his once more, " Nope-" she trails a few kisses up to his ear before whispering,

"- It's the perfect way to teach you what I like."

He can't help the groan that leaves his mouth, the thought of her morphing him into her perfect plaything, her teaching him how to please her....He loved it.

He slowly lets go of her wrists and allows her to pull his sweatpants off along with his boxers. She wastes no time, wrapping her hand around him and slowly jerking him off. He sighs out, the stress and tension in his body fading away with every stroke.

Her thumb swipes over his tip, his lips parting slightly. Her hand felt better than his, it was so soft, smaller than his own.

He's embarrassed with how quick his balls tighten, his dick twitching in her grasp. He was close to cuming, and that's not what she wanted.

She pulls her hand away and moves back, pulling her own pants and underwear off. She settles back down in his lap, grinding their bodies together. Her bare and wet cunt only provide him with more pleasure, his breathing speeding up rapidly.

"Gonna let me ride you?" She asks breathlessly, her own pleasure rising due to his tip nudging her cunt repeatedly. He finds himself nodding eagerly, too excited and lost in pleasure to form a complete sentence.

She smiles and crashes their lips together once more. She situates herself on top of him, lining his tip up with her entrance before sinking down.

It's always the slip-in that gets her.

Her head falls onto his shoulder as his head tilts back onto to couch cushions, her thighs quivering at the stretch.

He was perfect, just as she had thought. He stretched her out just right, filling her up to the point where she found it hard to breathe.

This was a new and exciting feeling for him, it took everything in him not to cum on the spot. Her spongy, wet, and warm walls felt different from the ones inside her mouth, and he didn't know which ones he liked better.

She begins to move back and forth, grinding against him before starting to bounce up and down. Her soft and pretty moans flow through the apartment, making it harder for Matt to think straight. She was like a siren, clouding his mind with her sweet melodic songs, luring him to the ocean for his death.

His hands stay limp at his sides, his fingers twitching as they itch to touch her.

But he was scared, scared that if he did touch her, she'd disappear, and he'd wake up thinking this was all a dream.

"Fffuck Matt, s-so big!" She pants in his ear, her arms wrapped around his neck as she continues to bounce on him.

Her thighs and calves quickly become tired, a pout forming on her face as she looks at him, begging him to help and touch her.

"T-touch me Matt - Shit!- P-please!"

He couldn't say no to that face, he'd be dumb if he did.

So he finally caves, wrapping his arms around her like a bear and helping her keep up with her own movements. He adjusts his legs so they are propped up, and gently begins to buck his hips, meeting her every time she lands on his lap.

She gasps as he hits that special spot deep inside of her, her orgasm getting closer and closer. Their lips connect once more, their tongues messily fighting and their teeth clashing.

He holds her tightly, his fingernails digging into her skin, leaving small indents.

He needed to be closer.

Without a second thought, he removes her shirt, her breast falling free and bouncing in his face. He doesn't know what came over him, but neither of them was complaining.

She throws her head back as he takes one of her nipples into his mouth, and fondles the other. He sucks gently, using his teeth to gently nibble on the skin.

He moans in delight, his eyes closing, his glasses lopsided as he finally gets to experience all that he's been waiting for.

"Shi-it! S-so close, please please please, don't stop!" She begs, urging him to push her over the edge. He follows her directions, not changing anything he's doing, and continuing to pleasure her.

He feels his own orgasm approaching, his whimpers turning into loud and deep moans.

"Fuck, pl-Oh god! M-mommy!" He didn't even realize he said it, but she heard it loud and clear, and it was just enough to push her over the edge.

She moans loudly and falls against his chest, her juices trickling out and down his shaft. The feeling of her walls clamping down on him repeatedly was enough to make him follow her lead, hot spurts of cum painting her insides.

They lay against the couch, the both of them panting softly, still wrapped in each other's embrace. She slowly peels her body away from his and smiles at his flushed cheeks and dazed expression.

"W-was it good?" He asks in between labored breaths, his nerves clear as day. It was obvious he was eager to please her, wanting to hear her praises and words of reassurance.

"You were perfect pretty boy......Can you handle another round?"

[whateversawesome]

Spy x Family Ch. 108: Fear

Don't get me wrong, that panel with Twilight remembering his friends was beautiful. I think he feels nostalgic for that connection with other people. However, I think what really caught my attention in this chapter was Melinda.

Come on, look at this:

Look at this face of terror. And she was just remembering her husband's eyes!

A long time ago, when we just met Melinda, I wrote this theory about her being afraid of her husband. Today, it was finally confirmed.

I feel so sad for her. Melinda has probably been carrying this alone for a long time. I doubt she's shared her fears with any friends or family members because, who would believe the illustrious political leader could be an abusive man? This is especially true if there's no actual physical violence in the relationship. However, like I said before, violence is more than that.

Something tells me that the violence in their relationship is mostly psychological. Donovan Desmond uses his authority to tell Melinda what to do, to create fear, to keep her away from their children.

Melinda appears as such a composed woman who has her life together in front of others, and only someone as emotionally perceptive and caring as Yor would notice something is wrong. There's a shame component in abusive relationships: "How did this happen to me? I used to be so strong and brave," combined with disbelief: "Am I overreacting? Is he really that bad? Why am I afraid of him if he hasn't really done anything to me?"

Hopefully, in time, Melinda will realize that fear is not only her responsibility; even if her husband wasn't physically abusive, his behavior caused her fear.

Without a doubt is a complicated issue, which brings me to something that will probably complicate things even more:

Yup, Twilight.

I'll admit that this is the first time that I felt very uncomfortable with what Twilight is about to do, but that's exactly the point. Good fiction/literature is suppose to move something within us, even if at times, it makes us feel uncomfortable.

You probably imagine why: Melinda is a person in dire need of therapy. She deserves (and needs!) a true professional and instead, she getting someone who is only trying to gather information.

HOWEVER...

Time and again, Twilight has shown that despite his line of work, he'll always try to do the right thing and the least amount of harm. So, I'm hoping he will apply that in this specific situation. My guess is that it will start as a way to get information (his classic "for the mission") but then, as Melinda opens up, he will actually give her good advice and hopefully empower her, as a real therapist would do!

Something else to keep in mind is that Melinda story of domestic violence could trigger Twilight himself in some way, given his own family history. We will have to wait to see how that goes.

Bonus

A final note on Melinda's beliefs in occultism: it makes sense.

I won't comment too much on the specific meaning of the cards because my knowledge is limited and I'm skeptical about that. But I will say that it makes sense that someone with so much fear and uncertainty in her life would believe in something that would bring her reassurance that everything will be okay or try to know the future in order to protect herself. (I really want to give Melinda a hug.)

On the other hand, you know who doesn't believe in that?:

Yup, our dear Becky, who is one of the most authentic character in sxf, who is protected and loved by her parents and Martha. That makes sense too.

[imistyou2]

You look so good next to me. c.sb

pairing: younger otaku!soobin x noona!reader

summary- Soobin wants to know why you won't take it a step further when he looks so good right next to you(or underneath you), so he invited you over to his place.

warnings: perv!soobin, nicknames, otaku!soobin (he loves anime and kpop so cute), kinda virgin!soobin, tit sucking, cum play and cum eating(if you squint), subby sub soobie he's so cute man, soobin has a big dick bwk, flavoured condoms because wrap it before you tap it, soobin crying a lot, playing with his Gojo Satoru figure(a lil nasty), ummm sex?? yeah they smexx, shiver me timbers!!

Part 1- Lemme hear you say please!

Part 2.5 Tummy bulge

This is Part 2 but you can read it as a stand-alone

-

Your lips smacked together as you pulled away from Soobin's heaving stature. His eyes gently opened, finding yours. Chest rising in falling, touching yours. He could see the shine of saliva on your lips, the same on his. A part of his heart flutters whenever he sees himself on you. His mouth stayed agape, waiting for you to say something, but you just gave a cordial smile before saying the usual, "Okay, that's good enough. See you later, Soob."

"You're stopping it so soon..."

His round eyes look down at your smaller figure, lips slanting into an oh-so-familiar pout: his usual demeanor when you halted these makeout sessions. Your hand twitches slightly, wanting to caress his face and wipe that pout off, but you don't. Instead, you feign a nonchalant shrug before waving him goodbye.

Ever since that fateful night of Seven Minutes in Heaven(which were definitely not seven minutes), you seemed to have found interest in Soobin's company, indulging in a kiss or two and even some tongue tango if he played his cards right- that meaning him being an obedient good boy.

Soobin didn't seem to mind you fondling him every now and then, in fact, the thought he leveled up a notch when you didn't kill him after he pushed himself on you that drinking night. He was ecstatic to know you wanted to continue something with him. Yet, the whispers in the crowds tainted his mind. Yes, you were very popular, he knew it, and everyone knew it. With this popularity came the endless line of men (mostly douchebags, Soobin likes to think) who string behind you like desperate puppies, waiting for attention. They want to kiss you, they want to sleep with you, they want you.

He doesn't understand why a woman like you, who can probably get any guy she wants at the brink of her feet, wants him. Boring ol' Choi Soobin. And if you do want him, which seems evident enough, why do your hands linger a few moments on his chest before pulling your lips back and creating an arm-long distance between the two of you?

He knows how it goes, pretty girls like you make out and then you elude to wanting sex. So why exactly are you not following through?

The familiar shadow of what if lurks in. He is a man who recognizes his characteristics and is very capable of believing that you are simply too good for him.

Is that why you don't want to make love with him? Soobin wonders if you even call it making love, is there any love in there? It's just all meaningless sex to you, he thinks. In his twisted sense of reality, Soobin still wants you to have sex with him- even if it will mean a lot more to him than it will ever to you.

Which is why Soobin now finds himself shoving some food wrappers into the trashbin in his room. He is not a particularly dirty man (at least his room isn't) but he prays that it is clean enough for your liking. His heart thumps lowly, excitement trudging at the edge- he has never brought a girl over to his shared apartment with Beomgyu

He clicks his phone open, fingers tracing the Kakaotalk app to see if you've messaged him about your arrival, instead, he receives messages from his roommate.

Gyutari_beom hyung whens noona coming, imma be back late so that I don't hear all that nasty work🤞 Gojoluvr300 Man stfu, wdym nasty work?? Also idk when she's coming tbh... she just nodded when I invited her over...she should be here? What if she was just kidding and she never shows up? Gyutari_beom chill soobin hyung, always overthinking smh🤦🏻 Also saw noona and jia noona in the cafeteria today, they were talking something about "what a guy would like on her" a sign perchance🍀‼️ Gojoluvr300 man fr? i hope so... Gyutari_beom anyway use protection stay sexy!!! Gojoluvr300 ??? i'm a child of god.

The sound of the doorbell ringing alerted him, his head rising up from his phone screen. He rushed to open the door and there you were. Your stance was lax, fleeting tapping on the faux grass doormat, a little impatient but Soobin never minded.

You had a mini jean skirt and as Soobin's gaze steered above he saw the top you were wearing, a baby pink long-sleeve with a sweetheart collar. His vision lingered there, two small pebbles of indentations poking through the thin material of your top. He gulped, eyes flickering away to the side.

"So will you invite me in or we're gonna chit chat in the doorway, Binnie? It's freezing out here!"

"I-yeah, sorry, come in please." You tilt your head knowingly as you bend down to take your furry boots off. Your eyes never leave him as your fingers fiddle with the boots before pushing them off. Your cleavage is out for display, he can see the dip of your breasts, pink fabric covering right before it reveals a little too much. You did not seem to mind Soobin's eyes on you, smiling from his boyish reaction.

"A-are you cold? Do you want a jacket?"

"Hm, you tell me. Do you want me to wear a jacket?"

"I-...If you're chilly..."

"Well, we have plenty of time to warm me up, don't we?"

"Yes!", he yells back a little too enthusiastically, earning a chuckle from you. He's been keeping track of what makes you laugh these days, trying his best to yield one out of you- a little secret treat only he knows about.

Without waiting for the tall man to lead the way, you trace your fingers on the wall as you begin looking around his apartment. A very simple apartment, nothing too crazy, just like how you had expected. A big couch, a TV, a PS5 lying casually on the center table. As you enter his room, your head tilts in ponder.

You look back up at him, "Didn't know you liked anime." gesturing to the wall littered with various posters, from shounen to shoujo anime. You even spot a few K-pop group albums cluttered on his bookshelf, lying next to the many mangas and anime figurines.

"Y-yeah.. D-do you? I mean it's cool if you don't like it. Should I take these off?"

"I like anime too."

"WHAT?!- I mean oh wow that is very interesting, Noona."

"Aw Soobie, you big goof. You're such a geek, you know?"

"No I'm not! I just really happen to like something, I don't think that's wrong, I also like Kara a lot. Noona do you know about Kara? it's a girl group and they debuted with a song called 'Break It'-"

You grab a Gojo Satoru figurine from the nearby shelf, Soobin nearly shrieks but you give him a hard eye. The head of the figurine is jabbed into the centre of his chest. "Ah, Noona what're you..?"

"Keep talking, tell me about your nerdy shit, go on. You're such a talker, aren't you? Go on then."

The white-haired figurine sends small sharp jabs as it gets dragged down from the top of his chest, being swirled around his clothed nipples. Soobin's breathing deepens, the figure in your hand twisting his plain white T-shirt, bunching it up, leaving his waist exposed. "M-m-my bias is G-gyuri from t-the group, she had blond-d-de hair and and and nghh... Noona.."

Your eyes darken upon seeing free skin, soft and white, the abs you have grown familiar to touch as you please. "Hm? You like this Gyuri girl? huh? She's pretty? Is she?"

"Y-yes..", he stutters over his words before understanding your salty expression, "You're prettiest to me Noona...yes, you you you!!"

You smile coyly, Soobin knew what you wanted to hear and he'd say every word of it so that you kept playing with him. "And I like this anime... It's called Jujutsu Kaisen.. ugh! Noona f-fuck!"

The point plastic head hits his clothed crotch, moving in circles as you feel the area growing bigger and bigger. Your lips salivate from the very thought of his cock. "Yeah? You freak. Having a literal plastic toy pleasure you?"

"Ngh- yeah, I'm a freak, Noona. I'm sorry I'm sorry."

Oh? So he was into this name-calling as much as you were? You push him onto the bed, not before carefully putting the figurine back on the shelf. There laid Soobin, abs clenching as his mouth parted, bunny teeth out on display. His bedsheet was filled with cartoon characters, strongly contrasting with Soobin's red, erotic expression. You got on all fours, inching closer to him like a predator does its prey. Your hips bounce as you pounce on him, his bigger frame being covered only halfway by your body. He groans, rolling his eyes back before licking his lips. You sit on his lap as he remains lying on the bed, pretty eyes searching for what to do next.

You take his arms in one hand, holding it down between your parted legs, and you begin straddling him. "You like that Soobie? My binnie? Oh yeah, look at you, squirming when I've barely touched you."

"Noona you get me so hard, oh-oh~ shit I'll do anything you tell me to just keep going like that you're so perfect, Noona."

Before he knows it, his pants are coming off and so are his boxers. He thinks you're a little faster than you usually go but of course, he doesn't mind. His bare cock springs out, half hard yet still packing in the length of seven and a half inches. You cannot help but wish to see it fully hard again.

The red tip of his cock is shiny, glistening with watery precum that touches his abdomen. You bring your legs around his waist again, sitting right on top of his cock, your clothed pussy touching his warm skin. The jean skirt rides up to the top of your thighs, exposing the thong you are wearing. Soobin tries his earnest to lift his head up to catch a peek but your hands put him down, positioning yourself to be sturdy on him.

You keep rocking your hips back and forth causing him to release muffled moans, like he is trying to stop himself from fully giving into you just yet. Soobin can see the large expanse of your breasts as they jiggle with your moving hips. Your nipples are completely hard now and strain tightly against the thin cloth. They are so round and soft and he just wants to reach out and grab one, though he won't do it.

He knows the repercussions for touching you without your permission.

Your pace increases, biting your lips as you await for his climax to emerge but you stopped by a whining Soobin. "Ngh, no. NO! p-please I wanna take it slow...Noona. Don't wanna cum like this again."

You raise your brows, hips slowing down but they still rock against his hard cock, "Hm? What do you want then?"

He gulps, pursing his lips, and looking to the side, you make out a faint glow of red- something you always loved seeing on his face. "Wanna cum somewhere else...you know.."

"My tits? Sure. You look cute today so I might just let you."

"I mean, somewhere else!"

You look at him deadpanned, what the hell was this kid talking about?

"Ugh, god, inside, Noona. Inside! Inside you."

Your mouth opens agape, this is new. Soobin had never mentioned in the last month of your guys' kindling that he wanted to do anything beyond making out. You had always assumed the poor guy was a virgin, people like him tend to cherish their first time. Why would he want to do it with you? You guys are not even dating.

Your movements come to a halt, a serious expression on your face. "Aren't ya a virgin? Listen I don't wanna be responsible for being too much on you or giving you a bad time, alright?"

"But I wanna do it with you Noona! and...I'm not a virgin! I've had sex before." Your eyes narrow, he continues. "In sophomore of high school...with a girl who was my lab partner."

Pfft. Sophomore year? in HIGHSCHOOL? this man was practically a virgin. Images of Soobin fucking a faceless girl crashes in your mind, you cannot explain why but it leaves a bitter taste. Something about it is just not right, something about Soobin with anyone else is not right- even though it was years before you two had even met.

A scowl forms on your face before you even know it.

"You really wanna do it with me, Soobie?"

"Yes, just you." Oh wow. A sense of nervousness settles in, something you have not experienced with your previous sexual partners. Your body grows warm, lust filling in your desire. Fuck, if Soobin wanted you, who were you to stop him?

You get off of him, taking his hands in yours, pulling him to sit right up. You guide his hands to the hem of your top, he takes the cue and starts slowly pulling it off of you. The fabric brushes against your hard nipples. "Ah~ fuck. Good boy, always so eager."

Encouraged, Soobin takes it off, revealing your free breasts, they bounce a little as the top comes off. His neck moves forward, almost giving into his desires but he pauses, looking up at you. His mouth is parted open, pink tongue waiting to dart out. "Suck."

Your fingers interlace with his black hair, and you push him into the valley of your breasts. The soft fat cushions his face, Soobin would die here if he could. He begins kitten-licking the sides of your breasts before latching onto one nipple. The big black pupils of his stare back at you as he continues sucking. You make sure to notice this subtle change of making eye contact with you, previously it was only you doing the staring.

He's a fast learner, you think and smile. His sucking becomes harsher, desperate even and you see his hips mindlessly thrusting into mid-air.

"Fuck, baby, doing so good. You like sucking my tit's, yeah? fffuckkk. What a nice geek you are, Binnie."

As if agreeing with you, his head nods up and down while he continues his mouthwork. His hands roam around your body, pressing and pulling your skin. His hands reach the side of your hips, his fingers gingerly tracing the stretchmarks scattered on your skin

Your brows furrow, no guy has ever done this. Usually, they avoid it, focusing on your other assets. Your heart beats faster, and Soobin's hand kneads into your soft flesh.

His lips leave with a pop sound, two strings of saliva attached from your hard nipples to his shiny lips. "Was it good, Noona?"

You pat his head, scratching the nape of his neck as he closes his eyes, leaning his head onto your chest. "Really good. Almost too good. What other girl's tits have you been sucking, huh?"

"No, I would never. I never have, I've only done it with you.."

"So you've fucked another girl but only sucked my tits..not even fair.''

He looks down in shame," Let me make you feel good down there too, Noona", he suggests.

"Hm. Maybe another time." Another time, there will an another time? Soobin giddies up in excitement. He looks at you expectantly on what to do next.

"Where do you keep your condoms? Actually, scratch that. Do you even have condoms?"

"I do...they're kinda old though. Yeonjun hyung gave it to me as a birthday gift." You snort, of course, he did.

"Get 'em." He's on his feet, walking around his room to his desk drawer. He pulls out a cute pink box, takes a packet in hand, and hands it over to you. You flip the packet around, "Strawberry-flavoured condoms? seriously?"

"This is all I have...Do you want me to go to the pharmacy real quick and get a normal box?"

"Oh, Choi Soobin, today must be your lucky day because I have to like strawberry-flavoured things." You wink at him. He smiles back before getting on the bed. You get on your knees, stocking his cock a few times to get it hard again. Unsurprisingly, it's flaccidity is gone in no time, the hard cock stretching in your hand as you look at it with hunger. You have half a mind to stick it in your mouth and fuck him just like that but you resist.

You put the condom on with ease and he can't help but wonder how many guys you've done this with in the past. But, he won't ask now, he knows better than to start something that will ultimately upset him.

For the second time that day, you push him onto his bed. His cock stands erect. You slide your thong to the side, holding his cock to your entrance. It's so big, you have a hard time tapping it right wear your juices are. "Noona if you're not too wet, it can hurt...I don't want you to get hurt."

"Silly boy, look me, hm? You think I'm not wet enough?" Two pointy fingers dart inside you, coming out with a wet plop, when you part the fingers a thick translucent liquid strings out. Soobin feels himself get even harder. You were so hot, the thong slid to the side, a sheen on your pussy as you put it to display for him. Your fingers are placed on either side of your entrance before you part your folds.

"Shit, Noona you look so sexy, fuck Noona wanna taste you so badly. I'll be good I promise."

You quickly prod the two fingers into his mouth, fucking into his tongue, mixing it with his saliva. His tongue eagerly sucks your fingers. Soobin doesn't care that your pointy nails hurt a little down his throat, he just wants to taste you and submit to you.

As your fingers work in his mouth, you finally sit back down on him, and his cock enters you. It is definitely quite a stretch, making you arch your back. Your tits jiggle as your free hand presses down on his chest for balance. You get back up, much to his dismay before harshly sitting right onto his cock, the whole delicious length entering you with a swift motion. "AH! ugh fuck yes, so big so big, shit, Soobie, you big freak. Should've fucked you much sooner."

His cock brings a slightly uncomfortable stretch, something you are not used to but shamelessly find hot. There is a burn in your lower stomach from his length but it fills you in perfectly. You begin moving slowly, keeping in mind not to overwhelm the younger boy. You can hear his erotic moans, whimpering stretching into broken cries as you increase your pace.

Your tits bounce wildly as you keep fucking on top of him, you bring a hand to his hair, pulling on it. The harsh tugging gets him to moan even more. His needy voice ricochets off the walls, you can hear him all around you and it has never felt any better. Your pussy engulfs with a type of warmth Soobin has long forgotten the feeling of, it's addicting even. It's so warm and gummy and soft- Soobin would religiously make love to you every day if he could.

"Your pussy's so perfect, Noona. I love it, I love it. I love making love with you." You internally flinch a little with his choice of words. Is that what it was to him, making love? Your body grows even warmer with his words. He gets up, hand on your hips and he begins slowly fucking into you, amidst you bouncing on him yourself. With your permission, his mouth lands on your tits again, he'll get scolded by you later. For now, he just wants his Noona to feel as good as he is.

The entire world seems to have paused, Soobin doesn't care if his neighbours hear him, he has tunnel vision when it comes to you. He can only and only think of your beautiful face and how crazy good you're making him feel.

It is only a few minutes later that his hips begin to stutter and you know he is finally going to cum, you fasten your pace further, sending him into an overdrive. With his own sloppy thrusts, he climaxes, cumming hard. "Agh~ Noona, Noona, Noona. I l-l-ove y-y- it. I love it." tears begin rolling down violently from his eyes, falling on your neck and chest.

"Yes, yes yes. So good for me. What a nice cock, fucking into me so good. My beautiful boy."

Fat tears stain his pale face, and without thinking much you start wiping them off. You kiss the sides of his face, from his jaw to his cheekbones to his nose and finally land on his lips. The kiss tastes salty and you feel more connected to him.

He pants, trying to calm his beating heart. You both stay there for a couple of minutes. His head falls on your shoulder, and you feel the sweat on his forehead and his long lashes tickling you, they were also a little wet from the crying.

Slowly, you get off of him, taking his now flaccid penis out of you. He hisses a little, the sensation being a bit too much. You get a sudden wave of horniness from his expression: fucked out, teary-eyed.

You peel the condom off of him. "Noona, I'll discard it myself, please give it to me."

"Hold on, I wanna try something."

You take his whole cock, flaccid as it is into your mouth. The tinge of strawberry with his salty cum mix together, forming an interesting flavour(you won't mind trying this again)

"Ah, ah, ah, I'm sensitive, please."

"I wasn't lying when I said I liked strawberry flavour." You lick his cock dry from all the cum. And if that wasn't enough, you put a hand around his neck, pulling him on top of you as you guys begin kissing again. The kiss is messy but slow, Soobin tries to put his tongue inside of yours but you're faster, entering your tongue in his mouth instead.

You finally pull away, giving a last-ending smooch on his lips before sitting up. "I better get going now. Where is your bathroom?"

Soobin stays quiet for a few beats before pointing towards his door. "It's right outside the door." His eyes are downcast and even though you take notice of it, you don't say anything. You are back roughly ten minutes later, your clothes on, they have small stains here and there and you hope that no one notices them on your commute back home. You see Soobin unfolding a thick duvet, his bedsheets have also been changed. Quick and efficient? He seems to be a clean man, you observe. His face looks clean now, hair a little wet from washing it.

"Okay so, I'll see myself out then. Catch you later, Soobin." You bite your lips as you look away from him, hands holding each other in awkwardness. It was usually so easy for you to leave after a hookup but it just didn't feel right to get out right away. Nonetheless, you persisted. You do not wait for Soobin's response, turning around to his hallway.

"Wait-! Um, your clothes...they're dirty."

"Yeah, and who's fault is that genius? I'll be fine it's a bus ride home anyway."

"Let me...just lemme give you a change of clothes at least?"

You stay quiet. "Please. Don't want others to see you like that, Noona."

"Sure, I guess."

You sit on the edge of his bed, looking around his room again. You've known changed into a pair of Soobin's clothes: A black T-shirt and some shorts. They fit really big on you but the material is comfortable, it makes you feel warm. Soobin insisted on making you something hot to drink since going out in Winter right after 'copulating' is bad for the body (his words not yours.)

"Why is he doing all of this extra shit?", you ponder internally.

you hear his footsteps come closer, the drink is probably made. After you drink this, you'll go, you won't stay...

"Here you go, Noona. I know you don't like your drinks to be too sweet so I added less honey." You smile and take it from him.

"I-i just happened to remember your usual drink orders, nothing much..haha."

Your nose crinkles as you release a hearty laugh. "You cute little thing, Soobie."

"Um..actually, can you just stay? Like it's really cold outside and It'll probably start snowing soon, you know.. just stay back."

"I-um. Yeah, no. I should probably go."

"I'm serious, Noona. I want you to stay. Please? My duvet is really warm trust me. Like it feels sooooo good." he stretches his hand to emphasize the degree of "good" his duvet feels. You can't help but smile at his adorable expression. He looks so serious yet so cute.

He sets the drink from your hand onto his desk. Without saying anything he drapes you with the thick duvet, it has the same white-haired character from before. He was not lying when he said the duvet was warm, it was fluffy even. He climbs into the duvet, cold hand touching your now warm hands.

"Hey, you're cold, you know?"

"Make me warm, Noona.", he purrs out lovingly as he rests his head on your chest, your breasts acting like a cushion for him. You want to protest but give into his rather unusual charm. You pull the duvet over your head, completely covering you both. Your hand finds itself around his figure, hugging him closer. His cold hand turns warmed, your limbs tangled together. You just let yourself go, finally falling into him, his embrace.

Your mind drifts off and before you both know it sleep takes over, cradling the two love birds into the land of dreams.

An hour later Beomgyu comes in, creaking the door open slightly, eyes peaking in to see two figures fast asleep. He chuckles, not before snapping a couple of pictures on his phone. "So much for being a child of god", he mumbles before walking away.

-

a/n: unedited. i'm tired. also was the smut good? I've been writing for 48 hours straight so Idk. also part 3 maybe?? who knows. @youmistme for taglist

@imistyou2 2024

[mingoooossii]

ATEEZ comforting you after you have a rough week.

Ot8 x reader

Warnings: hurt/comfort, lots of hugs, reader is overwhelmed in most of these, mentions of exams(scary ik), kinda corny tbh, also not proofread so there might be some mistakes.

A/n: i used most of my braincells 4 this 🫠 yea also this purely depended upon my mood so that's why some of them are just thoughts while the others are full blown conversations. will most likely rewrite this is in the future I think. Also I'm planning on opening taglists so if you want to be included just lmk!! (for ateez or any other group)

Words: 3.1k

Requested ♡ Ateez masterlist.

"When you feel like you're nowhere, Let it go 'cause I'll be there for you..."

⋆˚࿔ Hongjoong

• whenever things get a little too much, you'd usually suck it up

• it wasn't healthy, you know that yet you couldn't afford to fall back now so you did it anyway

• him, who's very sensitive to your every little changes in mood, of course, noticed it too

• you tend to sort of shut down whenever you get overwhelmed, causing you to get moody and quiet, often leading to minor arguments with him

• but he understands (being prone to overworking himself, he was never too fond of the after effects)

• but that doesn't mean he's not going to do anything about it

• ”you're taking a break.” “But I need to finish this-”

• he cut you off by closing your book, making sure to bookmark it before picking you up from the chair

• ”have you looked at yourself yet? you're about to collapse.”

• you fell silent at that, letting him carry you over to the bed, feeling your irritation dissolve at the stern tone, yet you could pick up on the hint of worry.

• ”but I need to finish it, or else I won't catch up on my work. I'm already behind in-”

• your worried ramblings was silenced by his lips pressing against yours for a brief moment

• ”i vaguely remember someone pulling me out of my studio, by my ear, when I was overworking myself.”

• he muttered, sitting beside you once he put you down on the bed, his hand reaching up to tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear

• ”you should listen to your own advice, you know?”

• you could feel the tears pricking your eyes at his words, making you feel helpless and frustrated

• ”there's just…so much. i don't know if I'll ever finish it…what am I gonna do?”

• you mumbled, your lips trembling as you tried to bite back your sobs

• his expression softened at your words, pulling you into his embrace, stroking your hair

• ”i know. but exhausting yourself is only going to make it harder for you to catch up.”

• ”let's take a break, okay? you need to rest, let your mind calm down first.”

• you felt him pull away from you, his hand wiping your tears away

• ”how about we go for a walk outside? some fresh air would help, i think.”

• you thought for a bit before nodding. you definitely wouldn't be able to get anything done while you were in this state.

• he finally let a small smile break free, standing up, moving to get your shoes for you

“An ice cream could help too, i've heard. and there's a parlour that just opened up, down the street. i think it's fate.”

⋆˚࿔ Seonghwa

• "are you okay?"

• he asked softly, worry lacing his tone as he watched your sullen figure drop down onto the couch.

• "I'm okay."

• your curt response came out as if it was clockwork, removing your bag before burying your face into the comforter

• you obviously weren't. Well, it'd been like that for a while now

• he sighed before coming over to you on the couch. He knelt down and reached out to take off your shoes which you forgot to

• you tried to sit up, suddenly feeling guilty

• "i got it...-" "Let me."

• you paused before laying back down, feeling a bit nervous at his tone of voice. Was he mad?

• "I'm sorry... it's just lately everything's been going downhill..."

• you mumbled, tears pricking your eyes as you let your emotions of the past week finally weigh you down

• "i c-can't seem to do anything right and...i can't muster up energy for anything...i.."

• you sniffled, waiting for a response. He didn’t reply, instead placing your shoes neatly to the side before standing up and sitting down next to you on the couch.

• "Hwa..."

• a tear rolled down your face as he wrapped his arms around you, resting your head beneath his chin.

• it was incredible how the warmth of his embrace contrasted the gloominess you've been feeling all week.

• "I'm not mad. Why would I be?"

• he spoke quietly, his eyes shutting for a moment, his hand tracing patterns on your back

• "and you know... people don't always have to be okay..."

• "if that were the case then, i think we'd be superhumans..."

• you let out a laugh at his words, feeling your heart lighten slightly

• "i guess..."

• he smiled at the pleasant sound, leaning back slightly to look at you, his hand moving to wipe your tears away.

• "so don't put yourself down, i won't let you."

• he whispered, his expression gentle yet firm before pulling you close again, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

• "I'm still gonna worry though. Because I'm a human, a human who happened to be really really really in love with you."

• you chuckled, feeling exasperated yet so so light hearted

"Well, then...this human loves you too, a lot."

⋆˚࿔ Yunho.

• exams were coming up.

• and with exams came all nighters.

• you knew it wasn't healthy at all but your brain refused to listen to you, conjuring up various 'what ifs' each one, bleak.

• yes, exam seasons usually had you stressed.

• he knew it too.

• don't get him wrong, he knew you'd do well (with you being one of the most hardworking people he knows, there was no doubt about that)

• but he knew you couldn't help it. Despite all the assurances, a small part of you always doubted if your efforts were enough

• and he was worried. Of course, he was but he couldn't push you to take breaks even when he knew you needed it

• because he thought it'd be better to be distant than to have you completely shut him out

• but he wasn't sure anymore.

• even more so when he came upon you staring down at your books with teary eyes. You couldn't take it anymore.

• "I'm just so tired"

• you sobbed, burying your face into his chest. He had carried you to the bed from your desk, despite your protests but now you were glad that he did.

• "i know, love."

• he whispered, his hand rubbing your back soothingly, his heart clenching at the sound of your sobs. How could he have let it get this bad?

• but one thing was sure, he wasn't about to let you go through this alone.

• "Take a break, hm?" "But i...-"

• "No buts."

• he replied firmly, his expression showing his worry

• "Baby, it's admirable, it really is...you work so hard and I'm so proud of you..."

• "but I'm worried."

• he mumbled, his voice soft and low, tightening his hold on you

• your words faltered as you sensed the genuine concern in his voice, a twinge of guilt washing over you.

• "You always seem so tired and i...i can't help but feel frustrated for not being able to do anything..."

• his tone was soft, holding you close as if he feared losing you.

• "i don't want anything to happen to you..."

• you heart clenched at the tone of fear in his voice. you felt him lean back, taking your face into his hands carefully

• ”no matter how important it is, pushing yourself beyond the point of breaking will never do you any good.”

•he whispered, his voice quiet as he stroked your face gently

•you stayed silent for a moment, his words going through your mind. you could feel the toll these last few days had on your body. crashing out wouldn't be far at this point.

•so you nodded, reluctantly agreeing, not wanting to worry him any longer and also because you knew you needed this.

•he smiled, seeing you agree (although reluctant) relief coursing through him finally.

“Good. Now, how about some tea? I'll…let you get back to it after a break and this time, I'll help you.”

⋆˚࿔ Yeosang.

• something was wrong.

• he wasn't used to seeing you so...pensive.

• that slight slumping of your shoulders, the way you zone out mid-convos and the quiet sighs that escapes you whenever you think no one's looking

• no, he definitely noticed. It was so unlike you and...he wasn't sure how to react.

• would you be mad if he were to bring this up?

• or would you pretend like there was

nothing wrong?

• he knows that you value your independence very much, often preferring to deal with things on your own

• he respects that and doesn't push in anyway, not wanting to make you uncomfortable

• but he'd also feel a bit guilty (thought it was never his fault) feeling like he was failing as a boyfriend for just watching from the sidelines while you struggled

• though initially, he'd be a bit hesitant and cautious when approaching the matter

• he wouldn't directly confront you but lets you know that he's there for you

• "I'm here, if you want to talk."

• he'll also try to distract you with other activities, whether if it's like a walk in the park or a simply game

• he'll try his best to keep the atmosphere quiet and positive so you'll be able to relax your mind even if it's just a little

• and when you finally open up to him, he listens.

• he doesn't really respond in between and just lets you rant while listening intently

• and you know he is from the way his hand gently squeezes yours in assurance whenever you come to a pause, letting you know that whatever you were feeling was valid

• he isn't that big on physical affection but won't hesitate to shower you in it if you were to ask

• he's just a green flag over all

"I'll be here if you need me. I'll always be here."

⋆˚࿔ San.

• "come here."

• you hesitantly glanced at him before immediately looking away once you met his eyes. How does he know you so well?

• "choi y/n, come. here."

• he repeated, his tone a bit more firm now, spreading his arms wide and looking at you expectantly

• "what's with the choi?"

• you sighed, half-laughing, but you walked towards him, your emotions bubbling up again.

• "you own my heart, so you might as well take my last name too."

• he said softly with a small smile as you finally stepped into his arms.

• "seriously..."

• you mumbled, your voice breaking towards the end as you pressed your face into his chest, tears starting to flow again

• "there we go..."

• he guided you to the couch before sitting beside you. He wrapped his arms around you again, pulling you into him and gently ran his fingers through your hair, whispering.

• "you did a good job, hm? I'm so proud of you."

• "it doesn't feel like that though..."

• you laughed. his words, though comforting, stung a bit, reminding you of your failures yet again

• he frowned, picking upon on the hint of self depreciation in your tone

• "how dare you say that about the love of my life? Do you have any idea how much they mean to me?"

• he spoke, leaning back slightly to look at you, his hand reaching up to pinch your cheeks

• "what're you on about?"

• you chuckled, avoiding his hand, not knowing whether to be amused or exasperated at his sudden burst out

• "I'm serious, my love's the best, the smartest, the kindest, the most hardworking, the prettiest...the list goes on..."

• he continued, his voice firm as he made you face him, wiping your tears away

• "but you know what i like the most about them?"

• he asked, his expression softening considerably

• "they never give up. no matter how hard it gets, no matter what anyone else says, they never give up, because they know that they can get through it..."

• he stroked your face, his eyes never leaving yours, the genuineness in them halting your breath for a moment

• "I know you can..."

• you felt your heart tighten at his words, feeling a wave of emotion wash over you. You hugged him again, tears forming again.

• "why do you always have to be so nice? I hate you..."

• you sobbed, though there was no real heat behind your words

• he chuckled, rubbing your back soothingly

"It's okay, in return, I have lots of love to give you..."

⋆˚࿔ Mingi.

• he knew that things have been rough for you lately

• while he was worried, he wasn't sure to how to bring it up without making you feel even worse

• so he had hoped you'd come to him first

• though nothing prepared him for the sight of you sobbing into your hands infront of him, when you did

• initially he was at a loss as to what to do (it's that T in him)

• but he could feel his heart breaking as he watched you desperately trying to wipe your tears away which seemed to be flowing endlessly at that moment

• instantly he pulled you into his embrace, his arms wrapping around you so tightly like he wanted to shield you from whatever that was hurting you

• "I'm sorry..."

• you weren't sure what he was apologising for and neither was he

• though he wasn't good with words in this situation, he was there for you

• and he hoped you'd know it too

"don't hold back your tears, just let it all out. I'm here."

⋆˚࿔ Wooyoung

• he’s been walking on eggshells the entire week and he wasn't sure how long he could he take it

• your obvious avoidance of him, the curt texts, (hell, he'd prefer it more if you argued with him than this) it was all getting ridiculous

• so, what was the next step? obviously, confronting you.

• though it wasn't going like how he expected it to go.

• ”I'm sorry, i thought it'd be better to avoid you than to let you get affected too”

• you mumbled, your voice a bit hoarse as you brought your blanket covering you, closer

• your face was red, a sheen of sweat covering your forehead as you supported yourself on the wall.

• these past few weeks had taken a toll on you, worse than you thought and before you knew it, you had a fever.

• ”Affect me-...are you serious?”

• he spoke before he could stop himself. really? that's what you've been worried about?

• “I've been worried sick! you think I'd care about some damn germs?”

• you fell silent, feeling a bit guilty now.

• he huffed as if he was in disbelief. he wanted to say more but paused, his eyes falling on your pale face

• he sighed before stepping in, his hands reaching for your face.

• “you're burning up…”

• he muttered, worry lacing his tone as he supported you, making sure to close the door before leading you to your living room, sitting you down on the couch

• you sniffled, rubbing your nose as you watched him bustle around your apartment

• it was weird, seeing him so serious like this, different from his usual playful self

• and it only made you more guilty for worrying him

• ”I'm sorry…”

• he paused, hearing your words, his movements slowing down as he closed the door to your shelf after retrieving the medicine

• “you know? these past few days, I was wondering whether I did something. I couldn't figure it out.”

• he spoke up, returning to the couch, kneeling infront of you, placing a hand on your lap

• “besides, what if you were in your death bed? of course i need to be here.”

• he added, a small smirk forming on his face

• “Hey!”

• you countered, your eyes wide, hitting his shoulder making him laugh out a small ‘sorry!’, lightening the mood slightly

• “no but seriously, you should've told me you were sick. i would've came running.”

• “you always take care of me when I'm sick. I want to do the same…”

• he muttered, his playfulness dissolving into softness, his hand squeezing yours gently

• you felt your heart melt at his words, warmth coursing through you, the pleasant kind this time.

• “Alright then, can you…make me your special chicken soup?”

• you asked, a hopeful glint in your eyes. you’ve been craving it actually.

• his smile returned even more brightly as he stood up, turning to make his way to your kitchen

“I'll make you the damn best chicken soup you're gonna ever have! You won't even need medicine cause it's gonna heal you up right away.”

⋆˚࿔ Jongho

• he knew you were having a rough week

• considering how moody you've seemed lately and you also didn't talk much

• and you were usually the 'affectionate' one in your relationship so the lack of it made him pause

• he was concerned, obviously, but didn't voice it directly or push you to open up

• he trusted that you'd come to him if there was something

• however, it seems like you finally reached your breaking point

• he regretted not talking to you sooner when he came home to you crying one day

• he immediately engulfs you into his embrace.

• you seemed a bit surprised to see him, not expecting him to come back so early

• and you felt bad to burden him with your emotions, surely he had a lot on his plate as well-

• "stupid, you should be worrying about yourself."

• he mumbled, his voice annoyed yet... concerned, pulling you closer when you tried to move away.

• he won't respond with words when you start to pour your worries out

• but you know he's listening with the gentle but assuring squeezes he gave your hand whenever you come to a pause

• well, it wasn't like he really had to talk when his embrace spoke volumes more than any words ever could.

“Don't feel bad for feeling bad, you don't always have to be okay, it's completely normal.”

[namism]

lost | seishiro nagi

➳ categories: canonverse, breaking up, angst, communication problems, gender neutral reader

➳ word count: 1.7k

➳ summary: Nagi breaks up with you nonchalantly and you're wondering where it all went wrong.

➳ notes: this may or may not have been based on experience and i may or may not have gone through war flashbacks while writing this but it's a-okay!

➳ cross-posted on ao3

You got up from bed 28 hours ago. Nagi broke up with you 5 hours afterward.

Now that the clock strikes 1 in the afternoon, you can't tell whether or not the substance you're drinking out of your personalized coffee mug—which, by the way, was given to you by Nagi on your sixth monthsary—is water, coffee, or Red Bull. You have been officially up for 28 hours with nothing but this mystery substance to fuel your brain, but even not-water, not-coffee, or not-Red Bull can take your mind off the sinking anxiety that floods your system.

Thus comes the sudden urge to walk to the nearest convenience store and buy the first alcoholic drink your eyes land on. Although best boy Yoichi Isagi is already on speaker as he talks you out of doing so, in fear that your insomniac body will crash in the middle of the street with no guidance or a merciful civilian around to rush you to the hospital. He speaks in a hurried tone, almost panting, like he's on his way to your flat so that he can stop you before you ride the elevator four floors down to the building lobby, where the exit doors await your presence—but the sad truth is, he's in München, Germany, for work-related reasons, so all he can do to lend a hand is to stop whatever he's doing and focus on talking you out of doing silly things.

"I just need to sleep, Isagi," you tell him weakly, clutching your wool blanket closer to your chest as you lay on your couch in a fetal position. From the looks of your ongoing FaceTime call, Isagi is in his apartment, well-groomed and dressed in simple house clothes, and fresh out of the shower after a morning gym session. He has an AirPod in his left ear, while the other is probably somewhere in his apartment, wedged between tight spaces or buried under heaps of laundry. You wiggle your toes as the air conditioning restarts, feeling the cool air blow on your feet. "A Strong Zero will do it. They also have a new flavor, ha-ha."

"No, it won't. Sit tight and wait until Chigiri comes," he advises sternly. He called your mutual friend Hyoma Chigiri ten minutes ago upon FaceTiming you and learning about the terrible news that he never would have seen coming. Isagi was terrified by the sight of your bloodshot eyes, deepened eye bags, and unruly hair that spread on your couch pillow. When you began to cry, he knew that calling for backup was the best route. "I just… don't understand. Why did you break up?"

"He broke up with me," you correct. He mumbles a passive apology. "I don't understand it either. I mean, I kinda do, but my brain isn't making any sense of it, or maybe it just doesn't want to."

"Nagi is unreadable. I get it."

You groan.

"You see, it's not even that."

You turn on your side and lay flat on your back. You situate the phone on your chest, so that Isagi has a rather unpleasant view of your chin. He mimics your actions by flopping on his bed and lying on his back, inclining his phone perpendicular to his torso.

"Most people can't read him, but I can. I can tell if he's bothered or hungry, if he's annoyed or upset. We were doing okay until yesterday."

"Maybe there's a part of him that you can't read after all," Isagi suggests, then he realizes his indifferent tone. "Crud. Sorry, I didn't mean it like that."

"It's fine," you mumble with a frown. "I might as well get used to reality."

You fear that Isagi might be right. While you were always confident that Nagi was more loose around you (save for his childhood friend Reo), there could have been some part of himself that he kept hidden.

In that case, you wonder why. As far as you can remember, Nagi never had any trouble voicing out his feelings to you.

"What did he even say?" asks Isagi.

"He said some things," you answer.

"I'm going to assume that he didn't elaborate." He sighs, disappointed in the turn of events. "How did it sound to you?"

You think about it deeply. Nagi, a man of a few words, in fact, did not elaborate much on his breakup speech, but from the many years you knew him, you caught on to his reasoning. The way it happened and how it turned into a breakup just didn't make sense.

"Let's break up," he said out of nowhere as you were getting yourself a glass of lemon tea. Your eyebrows furrowed, and you put down the glass on the counter. "Sorry. It's random."

"Are you serious?" you asked quietly. When you turned around, Nagi was already looking at you.

He nodded.

"I think," you begin, "I think he fell out of love."

Isagi stares at the virtual image of you on his screen, jaw slightly ajar as he finds the right words to say. You beat him to it, though.

"He didn't say much, but he could have been embarrassed to admit it because all this time, I've-I've been..."

"You've been loving him for God knows how long," Isagi finishes.

Tears well up in your eyes, and you turn to your side again. Your whole body hurts as you're hit with a new wave of emotions. Falling out of love? It happens to couples all the time, for many reasons. Usually one gets fed up by the other, or one ends up not being good enough for the relationship to move forward in the long run. Your heart sinks.

Suddenly, you're finding certain moments in your relationship with Nagi that can support this thought, and they don't stop coming even when Chigiri is knocking repeatedly on your apartment door.

Isagi is the one who alerts you of your friend's presence, but you're bundled up under the blanket as the shitty feeling resides in you. You need alcohol. Badly.

Chigiri manages to break into your apartment using a key that you have hidden on the upper ledge of your door. When he finds you rotting on the couch, he embraces you in a warm hug and uses a couple of back pats to snap you out of your senses, but they don't work.

Isagi has to go to work, so he hangs up the call after bidding you goodbye and giving an empathetic look that you don't notice. Chigiri sits with you in silence until you're ready to speak.

"Chigiri," you croak.

"Hm?" he hums.

"Did Nagi ever think I was horrible?"

He sighs.

"Of course not."

You snuggle your head into your hands.

"Then why are we in this situation right now?"

"As much as I want to help, you're the only one who can truly answer that," he explains.

"Could it be because I don't play the games he plays?" you mutter. Chigiri is quiet. "Or maybe because I wasn't too big on football when we met?"

He shakes his head.

"That's stupid. Nagi didn't even get into football until high school."

"But when we started out, I learned that we were much more different than I thought we were, so I was always catching up with him and his friends," you admit. "I didn't know how to play his games, so I tried to get into them just so we could spend time together even though I sucked and he looked happier playing with Reo and his girl. I couldn't understand football language until a few months of dating, either. No offense, Chigiri, but I couldn't understand any of your lingo and I would just sit and stand in your celebrations while nodding my head just to fit in!"

"You can't doubt your relationship because you don't game the way he does," Chigiri reasons, "and Nagi never expected you to know football like that."

"But wouldn't those be reasons to get tired of someone?" you ask. "What if... just what if he thought that it would have been nicer if he had someone who had the same interests as him?"

Chigiri sighs.

"Look. You've been awake for more than a day, so your brain isn't braining correctly. How about you get some sleep and we can talk about this again when you wake up?"

"But—"

"No buts!"

Standing up from the couch, Chigiri tugs the wool blanket off your body to force you up on your feet. Once successful, he drags you to your bedroom, where your pillows and comforter are sprawled on the mattress, just the way you left them a day ago. He forces you under the comforter, which you obey pretty quickly.

He fetches your water bottle from the kitchen and cranks up the room temperature. He doesn't leave until he's sure that you're asleep, but your mind stays running long enough for Chigiri to doze off first in your mini sofa bed by the door.

With the background sound of Chigiri's faint snores, you're left with even more time to think about what went wrong with your relationship with Nagi and how you can possibly move on. Every aspect of your life for the past few years that you've been together has had Nagi involved in it in some way. With the presence of the man you're no longer with appearing in every recent memory you have, how is letting go anywhere achievable?

By the looks of it (and your personal gut feeling), perhaps Nagi did get tired. Although the extent of this certainty falls a little below 50% because he didn't explain his reasons as well as you wanted him to.

Using the strength you have left in your drained body, you grab your phone from the nightstand and open your messages. You type a message that comes to mind as soon as you see his contact.

You hey, can we talk? Read 1:43 PM

Nagi reads the message fairly quickly. You're nervous upon realization. A few minutes pass, and the read receipt stays as it is until a small bubble pops up.

Nagi okay can we talk later?

The same nonchalant Nagi that you love is the same person who just replied.

You sure. as long as we get to talk, please

Nagi mhm of course

Whatever is about to happen, will happen. If he can explain as well as you want him to, then you're happy to accept it and move on. If he's sure of losing you, then maybe you should, too.

[thenighttimeparadise]

The fact for most people, having acrylic nails, wearing make up, doing your hair, doing skin care, wearing skirts/dresses, wearing heels, ect. is considered feminine and things women biologically want/need to do or should do because it's "feminine" is crazy to me.

Let's unpack this.

So... acrylic nails. Putting shit on your nails to make them longer/ more colourful. Why might this be seen as "feminine"? Females usually have longer, thinner fingers, which longer nail help make the appearance of, women usually biologically have longer nails like they have longer hair, and they're expected to care more about their appearance. Why don't these things actually explain this phenomenon? Long fingers could be considered attractive for both men and women, they are attractive for women mainly because they look dainty and bc subconsciously society want women to spend more time on their looks so when you see a women with longer, painted nails it looks right bc she spent time and money to be feminine and to look "right" (society wants women to suffer, whether you admit it or not, the idea of femininity is to hate yourself quietly, I can expand on that if you'd like). Also, while females have longer nails and hair biologically (on average and on a pretty small amount) men also biologically grow hair and nails. Like, men used to have shoulder length hair and women had hair to their waist. The fact men have shorter hair now is bc of the army. Fight me on this. If this was according to biology it would masculine to have hair to your shoulders or lower back and somewhat longer nails, but it's not. My point here isn't to say that it's untrue that female biologically have longer hair and nails, but that these standards can change according to socialization, and we did change them for men, so much so that we won't consider some biologically masculine stuff masculine. Bc it's mostly socialization. The idea that women are the prettier sex, even as an empowering thing, is simply incorrect, and I do want y'all to understand that if we wanted to decide males are the beautiful sex we could change that in our minds in like one generation.

The wearing heels/dresses/skirts is just pure bullshit, forgive me for the way I'm wording this but these are pieces of a fabric, and while one can argue dresses and skirts could feminine to accentuate the "female silhouette" as in making the body look more curvy, I want to remind you that you're very subjective and what you're attracted to and what you find beauty in is about 76% due to socialization. I promise you if you were born 100 years ago you'd have different opinions about what is and isn't attractive. Sure some stuff will remain, like being hygienic, having clear skin and straight teeth and not being overly obese or thin, since these things are just signs of being unhealthy (even though some people don't care about these things I just mean generally speaking in the way our body and brain processes things), so many other things you might think are attractive for you bc of biology, such as facial features, height, body type (you can be as fertile without having small waist as someone with tiny waist, it's about having breasts and body hair [signs of fertility and sexual maturity] And while both of those aren't sexual [while breasts are a sign of fertility that doesn't mean they're inherently sexual just like beards are a sign of sexual maturity but they aren't inherently sexual] Yk what that raises the question of what is inherently sexual and I have an answer, tell me/write an ask about it if you wanna know but ANYWAY beauty changes over the years so being an hourglass figure isn't necessarily the 'objectively' most attractive a women can look.

[dephirium]

Super minor ch1 spoilers but I'm not a party pooper like twitter so let's bear the see more

The calendar thing with Diana and Damon is so so so funny. Like yeah of course Damon won't admit to having a semi naked dude calendar in front of his desk. It just casually being something that all male students have? Not in his calculation. To be honest he probably just assumed that Tozu either knew he's bi or he's fucking with him.

But Diana know nothin' of that. She thinks Damon has a horse too. Which means? (She probably could tell Damon was bluffing, BUT) Trans Damon.

FTM? MTF? Who knows. Is Tozu being transphobic? Who knows! Motherfucker literally is making them try to kill each other, why would he respect anyone’s gender identity?

Diana doesn't want to pry! That'd be rude, it's such a personal thing! But what if she accidentally misgenders Damon if he is MTF? What if he (she?) is scared of using his (her????) correct pronouns? That'd be awful! Everyone wouldn't mind referring to her however she feels comfortable by, even if she feels like a class outcast!

(I don't remember when exactly the character profiles were brought up nor do I think Diana would really check them anyway,)

So she tries to be subtle. Maybe she asks Damon if he wants to tag along trying on clothes, see his opinion on skirts, maybe she pesters him into being her model while she tries new makeup combos, maybe she even asks Cassidy for a handheld animal crossing-esque game to see which gendered character he picks.

She feels a bit bad, investigating a classmate like this, but eventually the conscious thought leaves her mind and she is simply happy to be spending time with Damon, even if he's grumpy about it the whole way. She learns that he thinks that longer skirts are pretty on her and that he doesn't like wearing shorts, that brown eyeshadow looks great in the contour of his face and where to apply her brush to highlight his cheekbones, and it's a certain kind of domesticity she is particularly fond of.

So when, weeks later, Damon asks her to fetch something from his room - the calendar lie forgotten - and she sees that semi naked guy in his calendar?

Oh! OHHHHH!

She doesn't say anything. Damon got Tozu to change his calendar! That's good! So that means he's a guy? Okay! She wasn't expecting that the guy could be reasoned with, that's great!

And whenever she smiles when addressing Damon as a he, that's only for herself to know.

Bonus points: Transfem Diana and Transmasc Damon solidarity. They're so silly. Goobers even

[amberjazmyn]

f1 drivers as christmas songs🫶

pairing : m.verstappen, l.norris, c.sainz, o.piastri, c.leclerc, d.ricciardo

summary : mostly innaccurate but, a christmas song that i think matches these above formula drivers.

warnings : absolutely none lol

a/n : don't @ me but i'm really wanting to release a decent-ish amount of fic-mas fics before christmas ends let alone begins so forgive me if these are crap lol

max verstappen

silent night

i have no idea why silent night came to mind for max but, it just did.

i just feel like max loves christmases that are just relaxed, not too much effort

and i feel like he doesn't like it when he has to go to multiple different christmas get togethers

all because he just wants to be at home with his cats and with his immediate family

he loves a calm but bright christmas

whilst he may not be religious, christmas can feel holy at the same time for him

does he sleep in heavenly peace like the song suggests?

i definitely think he does because he doesn't have to worry about the race season until the new year

which means i think he also doesn't care what he eats or how much he eats

and it's because he knows he won't have to really worry about not losing it because he'll still make sure to occasionally train at the gym every once in a while

the main thing about christmas he enjoyed wasn't all the presents he got but the love he got to be surrounded by

lando norris

last christmas

the only real reason why last christmas came to mind was because of lando's ex-girlfriend luisa

i truly think lando really loved luisa more than he loved any other of his ex girlfriend's

hence why i think the lyrics 'i gave you my heart but the very next day, you gave it away' really screams lando to me as a christmas song

do i think lando has tried to save himself from tears and giving his heart to someone special?

no, i truly think lando's someone special was luisa

but, lando has definitely given away his heart to people that don't deserve it

and i'm not just talking female relationships either for lando

i'm also taking about people in lando's life that have been shown his heart and then taken it for granted

i may also be referring to lando himself

lando is someone who loves to self-sabotage and think awfully of himself

so when someone tells him that he's amazing and that they don't understand why he's so hard on himself, he'll just blindly accept it

and he'll wrongly stay close to them thinking that all they want for him is happiness

when really they don't want him to succeed

they just want him because of his name and his popularity

however, at some point lando realises and he becomes more guarded

but, he also becomes more confident in who he is and becomes more trusting of himself

carlos sainz jr

feliz navidad

and no, i didn't just do this because carlos is spanish

i did it because i fully believe that carlos absolutely loves christmas cause he gets to spend the entire time with his family and loved ones

and it really seems as though carlos is a real family man and loves to be able to have the freedom to spend all the time in the world with them

no more races for the year taking him away from seeing anyone he loves

no more stress about whether or not the race strategy would either work in his favour or absolutely betray him

the only thing he had to stress about was whether or not he'd be able to hug and speak to as many people as possible

and this was because there were always so many people at the sainz christmas dinner that carlos couldn't really remember who he had spoken to and those he hadn't

i also think that when this song starts playing, carlos is singing it from the tops of his lungs

he loves being spanish so i really think he'd absolutely yell the lyrics of this song with absolutely no shame at all

i think he'd also make his famous fluffy pancake recipe the morning of christmas day for sure

i also think that carlos would be the best and most thoughtful gift-giver

like, whilst we all know that physical touch is definitely one of carlos' love languages, i also think gift-giving is another one of his love languages

especially with so many in his extended family, i do really think carlos gives the best gifts to his parents and his sisters as well as the children of his sisters

like, i bet everyone loves uncle carlos during christmas time more than they already love him

oscar piastri

where are you christmas?

okay, i know this sounds depressing but, it does make sense and gets better

because i mean in the way of the fact that if oscar wants to be home for christmas, he can't just drive five,ten, fifteen, twenty etc. minutes away to his parents house for christmas

he has to take a whole ass 20+ hour flight all the way back to melbourne

meaning he has to pack up a whole suitcase and possibly carry-on bag and plan flights to melbourne as well as return flights to england

and he also has to bring with him all of the christmas presents that he has bought for his family with him which adds so much more weight to his probably already heavy suitcase and carry-on

and then on top of all of that, he'll most likely either pick the earliest flight possible or the latest flight possible but he'll still be exhausted from the long flight and the jetlag

that when he finally arrives home in melbourne, he doesn't feel as christmassy as he used to when he didn't have to do this huge round-the-world trip just to be home with his loved ones for christmas

because he's exhausted from that long haul flight that seeing all of or lack thereof christmas decorations, christmas feels like a regular day except presents are shared with one another and there is a shit ton of food

as well as the fact that it's most likely going to be a total fire ban day and that it's going to be the literal hottest day of the entire year

meaning the day is going to be horrible because the heat is going to overwhelm everyone

oscar especially since he had gotten so used to the extreme chill of england that returning home for christmas, he forgot just how bloody hot australia gets in comparison to the heat that england experiences on the rare occasion it isn't doom and gloom over there

however, it's not all negative because i'm sure when oscar finally settles back into the rhythm of being back home in melbourne, he feels like he can finally relax

and that he can finally enjoy not having to always be on the go every single day

and that he doesn't have to really monitor how much or how little he has to eat to make sure he stays in prime shape to fit in the f1 car

he can just relax, be with his family and loved ones and eat as much food as he wants

by the end of his time in australia, christmas does manage to find oscar and he is relieved that he found it as well because he really does love the magic and simplicity of spending christmas with his family

charles leclerc

it's the most wonderful time of the year

charles leclerc is a christmas lover

he loves the magic of it

he loves the gift-giving to those he loves

especially his little niece, chiara

he loves being together with his mum pascale and his two brothers lorenzo and arthur

he just loves christmas

he really thinks that it's the most wonderful time of the year

hearing the carolers sing carols throughout monaco's main street

he just finds it absolutely beautiful at how magical christmas in monaco gets

he also loves the christmas music that gets played throughout the shops as he and everyone else frantically try to buy everything they need for christmas

he loves the christmas rush

whilst he dislikes at how late he shops for christmas presents, he turns it into a game

a game to see how much quicker than the person next to him can he find what he needs to get his two brothers for christmas

charles already getting all the presents for his mum, niece chiara and girlfriend but leaving arthur and lorenzo's present until the last possible moment because he just got so busy buying everyone else's christmas presents

however, charles does manage to get presents for his two brothers and in record time to with less than days before christmas day arrives

when it comes to the day of christmas and spending it with his family and his loved ones, the little children are immediately drawn to him

not because uncle and cousin charles is an f1 driver but because he tells the best ghost and christmas stories of the past

he tells them stories in french, italian and english of different stories of how christmas used to be celebrated in the earlier centuries

the kids listening in excitement and on the edge of their seats as charles really gets into the fantasy side of it all

he loves seeing the little kids in his family also love the magic and joy of christmas

hence why he loved to spread that same magic and joy that he had for christmas

even though he was way beyond the years of really believing in santa, who said christmas wasn't magical for the adults as well as the kids?

daniel ricciardo

aussie jingle bells

alright, i may look like i'm totally taking the piss here but, this is genuinely the song i think of when i think of daniel ricciardo + christmas

i did think about giving this song to oscar but it didn't feel right and daniel was the only other aussie f1 driver that i could totally see actually screaming out this song from the top of his lungs

daniel is a lot more hardcore aussie than oscar and jack doohan are to the point i could literally imagine him being in charge of the aux for christmas and just playing this one song by colin buchanan and greg champion on repeat

until someone tells him to cut it out or put on another christmas song

in all seriousness though, every single aussie knows this aussie twist on the classic jingle bells and it is genuinely the most honest representation of an australian christmas

it is always (majority of the time - except for that one christmas last year it was fucking freezing and raining!) a scorching hot summer's day the week leading up to and on the day of christmas

to the point that, like the song literally states, you end up in your singlet shorts and thongs (flip-flops)

but, the most false thing that is in this aussie jingle bells is the majority of us australians do not live in the bush/outback

the majority of us actually live on the coastline but, that doesn't change the fact that it's still hot as balls in australia during christmas time because in the southern hemispehre for the months of january, febuary and march, it is summertime which in the northern hemispehre it's wintertime

going back to daniel, i genuinely think that he's the one cooking up all the food on the barbecue as well as the one who hands out the drinks from the esky

i also think daniel will also be a great and thoughful gift-giver

whilst he'd definitely put a few joke gifts in there like a cheeky box of cards against humanity or a game of beer pong, i think he'd also be very thoughtful

especially in regards to his parents, i think he'd be really thoughtful and get them presents that would be very meaningful

but, going back to the beer pong game, he'd also definitely be the one that starts that game

i also feel like daniel would pull out a cheeky christmas shoey just because it was his time off from racing and he is a man of tradition

and i say doing a christmas shoey is pretty australian of him

fin

ok, this definitely came out more as a crack-fic than what it was originally meant to but i'm just glad i have another christmas fic up and done! daniel's was most definitely the one that made it into a crack fic but, i don't hate it. i think daniel represents the majority of the true blue aussies whilst oscar is the complete opposite of true blue aussie. and honestly, it's relatable because not many australians have the stereotypical bogan accent that a lot of foreigners think that we do. well, speaking for myself, i only become aware of my australian accent when i say very particular words like 'australia' and 'water' as the two that come to mind. but, anyway, i hope guys enjoyed whatever the fuck this was and merry christmas & happy holidays my lovelies <3

©⠀amberjazmyn's original work. do not translate or steal any of my fics. 2024

[queervegancryptid]

What's funny to me about this is that I have Medicare and Florida Medicaid, and let me tell you: compared to other countries with socialized medicine, we are getting absolutely shafted. It's been going on for a long time, at least since George W. Bush was in office. That's when Medicare Advantage plans started becoming a thing, and in Florida and at least some other states, there is no public option for Medicaid. You HAVE to pick a private "managed care" plan. (UHC, Humana, Florida Blue, Molina, and Sunshine Health are the companies that come to mind. I think there's one or two more in the mix for Florida Medicaid. YMMV.)

My Medicare and Medicaid benefits are administered in one dual special needs plan (D-SNP), which is the best option for me in a lot of ways... except here's the thing: I get those benefits because I'm disabled. Legally, my disability benefits were approved on the basis of PTSD, eating disorders, and severe anxiety.

It is impossible to find an eating disorder recovery program, online or in-person, that accepts Medicare. So I have a disability, and I wouldn't even have insurance at all if I didn't go through the process of sitting in front of an ALJ after nearly three years of waiting time, for her and the hired assessor and fuck knows who else to determine that my eating disorder is a major factor in why I can't work.

So you might say I only have this insurance because of my eating disorder.

So you might even go so far as to say the reason I have this insurance (any insurance, really) is CATEGORICALLY excluded from the benefits offered by this or ANY OTHER plan available to me that includes Medicare. Almost no Florida Medicaid plans are accepted by any eating disorder specific program or facility, and the way it works is that Medicare is billed first, and it seems like no one really knows what that means for people like me.

I currently have a D-SNP, but I could switch to having separate plans for each of Medicare and Florida Medicaid. It might be worth doing, but I can only switch plans once a quarter, and it seems like switching is the only way to find out. But if it doesn't work, and it might not, I could be without benefits I desperately need for months before I even get an answer. I've heard of the whole being more than the sum of its parts, but somehow, Medicare + Medicaid in one plan may do less than two separate plans.

Oh, and my plan? I won't name it, but it's UHC. Private insurance companies run Medicare Advantage plans and D-SNP plans like mine. I have this plan mostly because it covers my prescriptions. (Well, for now, anyway. Fully expecting to lose coverage for HRT within the next year or two.)

The psych facilities in-network to me are okay... if you don't actually have to do anything above outpatient therapy. I would be goddamn terrified to be sent to one of them for inpatient care. Just based on the Google reviews alone.

But who cares about mentally ill poor people. If I had a drug or alcohol problem, I'd have no problem finding a rehab in-network for that, but I'd still never check into one on an inpatient basis. The only ones of those in-network to my plan have the same problem as the general psych facilities near me. I would survive, but I'd probably come out worse, not better.

Original Medicare (Parts A and B) is more predictable in some ways, but it doesn't cover all of what the Medicare Advantage plans (Part C) cover (no prescription drug coverage at all without enrolling in either Part C for all your Medicare or at least a Part D plan, which deals with prescription drugs). Also, you still have to pay a monthly premium unless you're dirt poor and qualify for Medicaid and "Extra Help." So calling it socialized medicine the way Canada does it or the way the NHS does things in the UK or whatever, for example, is seriously stretching the limits of that idea.

Anyway tl;dr I've been dealing with this for a while and have a lot more to say about it, but the point is, if you think Medicare and Medicaid are examples of "socialized medicine" the way other countries use the term, you have been misled and will end up extremely confused and frustrated if your situation actually demands complex care of any kind. And for certain specific conditions, apparently, you're just fucked. You end up nearly dying of anorexia three or four times because there's literally no help for you that won't cost tens of thousands of dollars out of pocket.

Sorry for the rant. I'm incredibly frustrated about these things and just venting a little, I guess. But I also feel like this kind of shit should be common knowledge, because I'm definitely not the only person dealing with it, except somehow no one ever seems to talk about it.

I can hardly wait to try to get an autism assessment covered.

saw someone say the only people who don't approve of Luigi are old enough that they basically DO have socialized health care (medicare or whatever) and as such literally don't understand what everyone else is going through. made me think.

it definitely matches up with the idea that people's political and cultural positions are largely a superset of their material interests

[jaguarys]

Hello! I don't know if someone already asked, but if not, please tell us you thoughts about Danaël?

Thank you for asking! On a real note I super appreciate all the LL asks that people have been sending, I LOVE to yell about this series.

In a lot of ways, he's really the straight man of the series, but I honestly think that's sort of what makes him so great. He's the one who the rest of the group revolves around, not just because he's their leader, but he's also just their focal point. He's the one who brought them together; he's the one they follow. I think in a lot of ways he's the one they aspire to and model themselves after, and I do firmly believe he's the best of them.

He's also truly the definition of haunting the narrative. His absence is more acute than his presence in a lot of ways, and I think narratively it's a lot more important. I'm genuinely obsessed with the way the series shifts after his death–– it's a tangible absence, and no matter how much they try to cover the gap he leaves, there's just no way for them to.

Of course, the series post-Anathos becomes a lot darker, but I also think it's just more... bleak. They've really and truly lost their core, and they don't ever regain the sense of family their group had before. They scattered during their recovering period following vol 10, and they never fully reconverge much as they might want to.

I don't think it would be impossible, had they had the time. They're focused on trying to rebuild what they had, when I think what would have been best would be to create something new. And, I think, being that he was the glue, they never really learned to fill those gaps (and actually communicate. I think he was the one who made them talk to each other, holy shit (affectionately, they're dumbasses)).

I absolutely adore him. I won't get into his Dynameïs version here but I think about that a lot too... really depends on how you want to interpret Kalandre's hold over their group (are they still themselves? Are they entirely other people? Is it full control or just influence? I'm obsessed.)

[honeyssweetened]

I wouldn't mind being flown on airplane flights to luxurious places, pampered, and spoiled by my future man. With the wage gap between men and women, not to mention the gap between races, I don't think I'd mind if my man made more than me. As long as we could still do those flight and/or luxurious getaways

[yolowritter]

Miraculous Adventurer Au 3: Time to spill the tea!

So...anyone remember back here when I said "this AU is still alive and kicking"? Yeah it's kicking alright. Kicking and screaming as I drag it out of my WIP pile! Welcome back to the show everyone, it's been a while! If you guys want a recap of what this Au is about (+ the Origins episode) I highly encourage you to go read part 2 of this Au here. Yes, I did just link it twice. No, I don't care. Anyway, this is just an info/idea dump for this AU, because it was in my head yesterday and refuses to let me write anything until I rant about it!

First off, I wanna explain the magic system a little better. People don't have actual "classes" like DnD, they just happen to be good at certain things and not great at others, just like real-life proficiencies! There's plenty of types of elemental magic like Water, Fire, Wind, Earth, Thunder, Light, Dark, etc. but not all of them can be casted by humans. Some magic subtypes are excusive to certain races (for example plant-related Earth magic is a druid-only thing), and others are very very rare, to the point where only a few people in the whole world can use a certain type of spells. It doesn't really need to go beyond "medieval fantasy magic", so I'm trying not to overcomplicate it. You're here for the characters and the lore, anyway.

Secondly, let's talk characters! I have almost everyone from the Miraculous Cast making an appearance in this AU, some as adventurers who encounter the Core 4 party (Ladybug, Chat Noir, Carapace and Rena Rouge), some as other roles! Here's a short list to give you an idea of what everyone does! Oh, and I should mention that everyone is in their early to mid twenties here, concerning taverns and the like. The legal drinking age in Medieval Fantasy Land is 18, so we're all good.

Marinette: Adventurer and aspiring fashion designer, travels with "Team Miraculous", including Chat Noir, Nino and Alya. Her adventurer name is Ladybug, and she really didn't mean to get wrapped up in all this hero business. Turns out wanting some extra cash can really go arwy if you tango with the local cat enthusiast. Marinette is the daughter of two bakers from a backwater village, and has always dreamed of being a famous seamstress in the Capital. Now an adult and having saved up for the trip, she ends up in a small town not far from her own home. Wanting additional funds for when she eventually arrives at the city of her dreams, Marinette decides to offer her services to any adventurer whose clothing might need adjustment or repair. Surely this won't lead to her signing up with the Guild, right? Cue the Origins episode from part 2.

Adrien: Son to Gabriel and Emilie Agreste, Prince of the Kingdom. Isolated in his childhood to be protected from political scheming, Adrien has only a few friends that he can rely on. His cousin Felix, and a rich noble girl named Chloe Bourgeois who took an interest in him when they were children. A few months ago, he recieved a marriage proposal from an eastern kingdom, and his parents introduced him to Princess Kagami, a stoic but passionate girl who he becomes fast friends with. But one day, tired and suffocated by his palace life, Adrien seeks to live out his own life away from rules and regulations. With the help of his betrothed and cousin, he and Felix switch places, allowing Adrien to don the mask of Chat Noir and freely travel as an adventurer.

Alya: A girl from a small village in the outskirts of the Kingdom, Alya has a high potential for magic powers. Unfortunately, no matter what type she tries to cast, she has great difficulty with even the simplest of spells, leading her to develop a desire to discover mysteries and the arcane as a way to try out new methods of manifesting this supposed potential. During an encounter with Ladybug and Chat Noir, Alya finds out she's proficient in Illusion Magic, for which a caster hasn't been seen in at least a century.

Nino: Childhood friend and later boyfriend to Alya, who happily supports her mystery solving and looks after his fiery and lovable girlfriend. Has a talent for music and defensive magic, and is a local bard. He knows their small village won't keep Alya occupied forever, and once she manifests her illusion magic, decides to follow in the footsteps of the adventurers who saved her and travel the land at Alya's side.

Chloe: Daughter to a backwater Baron, she's been spoiled her whole life in lieu of any parental attention. Her mother is famous in the world of high society, and so Chloe often gets invited to balls and functions where she presents herself as cold and untouchable despite her techincally low station. Once meeting the young prince Adrien, Chloe felt he was unprepared to deal with the "snakes" of the royal court, and took to being an overprotective friend through their childhoods. She still has unresolved anger issues regarding parental figues, and is extremely jealous of a village girl named Marinette, whose town her father's manor happens to be near, for having the loving parents she's always wanted.

Felix: Cousin to Prince Adrien and son of the late Duke Fathom of Lunden. Coming from a prestigious family and looking almost identical to his cousin due to the Graham De Vanily family having historically superior genetics, Felix is not much different than other nobles in terms of attitude. Cold, calculative and extremely cunning, he thrives in situations where backhanded compliments and polite threats are the norm. Having been isolated from the world by his father to be moulded into the "perfect heir", Felix lacks proper social skills, making up for this fault with sarcasm and quick wit.

Kagami: Princess to one of the Eastern Kingdoms, Kagami Tsurugi is the daughter of a queen despised by her people. Perhaps using her last bit of sense, Tomoe Tsurugi has sent her away to be married off to a western prince, who surprisingly turns out to be quite sweet and kind-hearted. However, while she could see herself and Prince Adrien becoming great friends, there exists no true spark of love between them despite his parents' enthusiastic support of their engagement. Kagami is stoic and prefers those who refuse to hesitate or mince their words...and happens to fall in love with exactly such a man. Adrien's cousin Felix, who quickly falls for her in turns during the few short weeks of wedding preparations. Explanaing the situation to Felix's mother and Kagami's fiance, the four devise a plan to ensure everyone gets their happy ending. With Adrien hurrying away to a life of adventure, Kagami is left to adjust to court life with Felix at her side, needing only to ensure Gabriel and Emilie don't realize their son is not who he seems...

Luka: Travelling bard and former boyfriend to one Marinette Dupain Cheng, what Luka lacks in magical profiency is made up for with great empathy and a golden heart. Coming from the family of a famous pirate, Luka sought to venture the world by land, and make a legitimate living unlike his mother, Anarka. Trusting the retired pirate queen with the safety of his younger sister Juleka, Luka left home to travel, and happened upon a village girl he quickly fell in love with. Despite their mutual feelings for one another, Luka still had big dreams of performing in the royal capital someday, and asked Marinette to come with him so they could be together. Unwilling to abandon all she's ever known, she refused his offer, leading to a mutual breakup. Two years later, Luka happens to visit Marinette's home town again, only to realize she's left it behind. Determined to find his one true love, Luka sets out to find out where she's gone, making new friends along the way.

Okay, that's it for the main cast! I have some details about the secondary characters such as Alix, Kim, Mylene, Ivan, miss Bustier, etc. but I'll add them at a later post. If you're interested in someone specific, feel free to shoot me an ask!

Thirdly and lastly, the storyline! I'll be honest, it doesn't necessarily have to be concrete! Since Gabriel is a standup guy and his wife is very much alive, there is no Hawkmoth! I won't spoil if Lila is or isn't here, that's for a later post, but aside from her...there isn't really a villain here. The Adventurer Au is only meant to be a light-hearted slice-of-life type of story, with the occasional beats thrown in regarding the Lore. For example, Alya and Nino becoming adventurers and quickly joining up with Ladynoir to form Team Miraculous. Chloe calling them back to her manor for a job, and joining up with the gang as Queen Bee for a short time. Ladybug bumping into Luka at some point. The Team finally arriving at the Capital, where Marinette has to wrestle between staying with her friends or going after her dreams. Obviously much more, and I do have an entire plotline about what happens when they finally arrive at the Capital regarding Adrien/Chat Noir, Felix and Kagami! That's actually going to be the subject matter next time, since I really want to share it with everyone! Until then, Stay Miraculous!

[abysskeeper]

Neurodivergence is a wild time all around.

[tardis--dreams]

One thing you need to know about me is that I will never reblog anything that has the addition "this should be reblogged by everyone" or anything of the like.

[queervegancryptid]

y'all, they really do make it hard to get any kind of help for pain.

the worst is when you get treated like a "junkie" trying to run a scam when all you did was show up to the ER because you didn't have another choice that day. addiction is a problem, and i'm sure people do come into the ER trying to fake an injury to get drugs. i'm sure that happens, and so i get why an ER doc would be on the lookout for something of that nature. but in general, most people go to the ER for legit reasons.

it would be different if the response came from a place of caring about addicts rather than suspicion, making assumptions, and sometimes being extremely rude. doctors will see i've been prescribed percocet and klonopin and STOP LISTENING TO ME because they don't think i'm worth listening to. they forget i'm a human being as well as being their patient.

it fucking sucks. thank u for coming to my ted talk.

Shoutout to disabled people whose pain management can’t make up for their pain level. Shoutout to disabled people who can’t afford to treat it adequately. Shoutout to disabled people who don’t have much pain management, and not because they don’t have chronic pain

[blackvahana]

Ohhhh the horrific realisation that my psychosis started about when M showed up. I was sitting here reflecting on when my StPD started properly developing and uh. It coincided with him as Henry around me. That's nice