#which is where octolings get their nails

[possum-down]

RAGH my own take on xeno designs

[greenteaanon]

I have risen from the depths of slumber to propose the idea of.... (I'm so fixated on Splatoon in case you didn't notice)

What if the creator(you) can go to different game worlds but is not treated like a god in those world, what would happen if your were to transport to Splatoon with the acolytes

GN!Creator!Reader, No specified Inkling species (I'm an octoling tho), Splatoon 3 spoilers

2/18 requested fanfics

BOOYAH!

You were so tired from the constant worship, so tired that you might just run to the one place with the freshest style and where you can just have fun.

The more you thought about it, Man the more you wanted to go. Then you settled it,youre going to play Turf war. Getting ready to transport yourself from one world to another, you felt as if someone is watching you, though yu thought it was just paranoia from sneaking around to find a good place to transport yourself.

One.

Two.

Three.

Launching what you thought was just yourself high up. Landing with perfect balance with 3 other inklings flat on the floor like they fell from high up...

Oh.

You messed up, you accidentally brought 3 of your acolytes here.

"oh...yikes...hello" you waved shyly at the now getting up and now inkling versions of your acolytes.

"Your grace!?" One of them, Tighnari looked at you in shock. "yess..." Playing with one of the tentacles as you elongated the s. You all hear a tune playing from the high up lcd tv,looking up it was a broadcast.

"HELLO SPLATSVILLE! How are you! The Lobby is now officially O-PEN! SO GET YOUR SPLATTERSHOTS AND GET SPLATTING!!" A yellow very upbeat tan Squidling cheered. "Everyone! Please be careful, And have fun!" The blue octoling fanned herself" "Yah! Ah! (What they said!)"a gigantic stingray said.

"Just in time!" You cheered "But your Grace Where are we? And what are we supposed to be?" Zhongli said grabbing your hand before you super jumped to the lobby.

"Well how do I explain this.... specifically to you...Zhongli don't freak out. Welcome to Splatsville...where there's 2 dominant types of species called, Octolings, and Squidlings..." You dropped to look at his reaction he looked curious "—Which is a species of humans mixed with Octopus, and squids respectively, and judging by your tentacles....you're a Squidling" now all hell breaks loose he looked upset is one way to put it. Deciding to

"AND NOW WE GET GUNS FOR YOU GUYS"

That was the most concerning thing you could say out of context.

Leading them to the lobby (since they don't know how to super jump), you showed them to the locker room where you brought out spare weapons, like your old splatana, Tri-string, splattershot jr, Roller. Even your old outfits was there, your dapperling suits because ofc. Finally having everyone choose their new swag and weapons;

Zhongli Ink brush

Venti with a Tri String

Little Nahida with a Bamboozler

You continue to drag them to Re-con training. "So bassicaly you just have to cover the arena with as much color of your ink as you can, and splat or just shoot at the opposing team so they don't take your turf, therefore Turf war" teaching them how to play and how to move around. They seem to understand, somehow. At last, finally you can go Play Turfwar!

Without hesitating you decided to look dapperlings, swinging your splatbrella as you wait for the others to finish changing and setting their player tags.

"Now don't worry about how you guys are going to swing at the start it's going to feel natural, and I'm going to teach you Stuntin' for when we win" you said all gift excited to make the best dapperling group.

You were too excited and too adrenaline pumped to start, it was time to show your team's off. Swing Swing pose! You instructed to yourself. Nailed it. As everyone did Nahida now being the same height as all of you looked very happy.

And the round began, Everyone splitting up...oh boy this is going to definitely be a challenge. Luckily Peepaw started to get some ground coverage already, You saw Little Leek getting snuk up on by an octoling,god you can't with their player tags, you quickly swam to block the shot, opening your splatbrella in time.

(player tag) splatted Boberto 1-X

Suddenly you realized who you just splatted. Everyone in your team expecting to hear a booyah! Instead heard a "OMG WE'RE PLAYING WITH THE RANBOO LIVE"

"Are you ok, your grace?" VentititiFRAGILE asked very much concerned. You just sobbed out a "No.... I just splatted a famous streamer.." after the round, you somehow by some miracle WON by a DECIMAL, which made the whole encounter with a famous streamer a whole worse. "let's take a break..Im scared..jokingly" whispering the last part. Which luckily everyone agreed so you Al decided to go out of the lobby for some snacks. You led them to the big window near a tv recording place.

"Wait here..I'm gonna go get snacks from a vending machine" you said as you pointed to the vending machine behind you, they all turn to look to inside the recording studio to see a octoling in a "Inazuman" attire and a Squidling in "Sumerian" Attire and a giant sting ray? They seem to notice them looking at them and waved at them. They alwardly waved back. "So I got 2 dessert bars and a fizzy drink for each of us" you started to hand them out. The yellow Squidling seemed to notice you and patted the octoling, you looked to the window to see them enthusiastically waving at you, You waved back just as energetic.

"You know them your holiness?" Nahida asked. "Of course they're famous idols here, and my friends, technically, co workers...also technically Subordinates?? Since they work with someone whos in the same Splatoon as me but oh well..."

Their all creator are friends with famous idols when they're a simple inkling and not a god, it's such a shocking revelation.

[canis-rex-lupus]

ok everyone. splatoon headcanons for the psychonauts main cast. buckle up its gonna be Detailed.

RAZPUTIN AQUATO

raz would be an octoling i think. he'd start out playing one of the weapons he sees his idols use, but as he finds his own playstyle (i think he'd go for skirmisher personally, he'd like to be in the front lines with all the action) i think he'd play something that's more *him*, something snappy and fast with lots of opportunity for movement. i think dark tetra dualies would suit him. the rolling mechanic mirrors how he implements his circus upbringing in the way he uses his psychic powers and i think he'd be big on trying to do sick team wipeouts with the reefslider.

he'd focus on ranked battles and rank up REALLY fast - he'd be in X battle in no time. as for abilities i think he'd use a lot of offensive/movement based stuff like intensify action/swim or run speed up etc etc. when he first starts out he makes a lot of mistakes like tunneling when matches get heated but he'd be diligent about watching match replays and improving. he does a good job of synergizing and keeping the team in check when he gets the hang of things. he'd make a lot of gutsy moves that win the match in those very last few seconds, always snatching victory from the jaws of defeat. his favorite mode would be clam blitz. he'd decorate his locker with items you earn from playing like the big run statues or the stickers you get by weapon freshness, and he'd plaster it with a ton of stickers he thinks are cool. you think it would look bad but it turns out to nail the cluttercore look pretty well?

LILI ZANOTTO

lili would be an octoling, frontline slayer, and most DEFINITELY play a splatana wiper. she antagonizes people with the torpedoes and gets the SICKEST trick shot splats with charged splatana shots and well timed ultra stamp throws. she could hit you from a mile away without even trying. she'd run a comp that's just as cool and fun as it is killer. intensify action, drop roller, maybe something REALLY nasty like respawn punisher. ink resistance and sub defense so nothing gets in her way. she's really good but aggressive and tends to tilt a lot, throwing her off her groove and losing her a lot of matches, which i think she'd be a little too hard on herself about. despite this she'd be S+ rank having played pretty much her whole life and her favorite mode would be turf war or rainmaker. she'd have a pretty cool locker too - it would have hard to get stuff like the bear ears from the secret story mode level and a golden big run statue, but be put together in a more thoughtful way than raz with additional items just for style.

SASHA NEIN

sasha would be an inkling. since he values control i think he'd play a backliner - he'd have the patience for a charger like the e-liter, and the steadiest aim you've ever seen. he'd have a lot of sensible but boring abilities like ink savers and sub power and all that. overall prioritizes function over flashiness. he'd use his long range to keep control of the goal area and pick off enemies, keeping the rest of the team safe. he'd be very strategic about when and where he moves, when to shoot or when to hold back, when to use his special, etc etc. he pushes raz to do the same but he's far too impatient to really master it like sasha does. he's X rank and his favorite mode is splat zones. he doesn't decorate his locker much, but maybe he'd at least have a picture of him and milla in there or some cool scifi thingies with lights for the ambiance.

MILLA VODELLO

milla is an octoling and plays midliner support! she likes painting more than fighting, and likes playing fun weapons that can cover lots of ground like custom jr, inkbrush, or big swig roller - i think she switches it up instead of having one signature weapon. they're all just so much fun! she'd have ink recovery, sub saver, all that good stuff so she can paint the whole stage and earn her team the upper hand while the enemy's distracted fighting. definitely prioritizes the team win over getting the most splats or points or whatever - she'd be sure to emphasize the importance of being a team player to morry or lili, who might tend to be selfish in their playstyle without the reminder. morry definitely needs said reminder frequently. she's X rank and i think she'd like turf war the best. can't go wrong with the classics! her locker is THE cutest. she has the pink one obvy. her decorations are color coordinated and well placed, and she spends a lot of time trying out new layouts for it.

MORCEAU OLEANDER

he's an inkling. morry plays something big, heavy, and DEADLY. he could really get into the hydra splatling i think - he'd think booyah bomb is the best special of all time. he prioritizes getting splats over everything, even when he's the only one left alive and all four of the enemy team is on him. he just never thinks to retreat. he definitely doesn't make... the smartest plays. hence milla having to remind him to be more team oriented instead of constantly rushing to the other team to try to fight them on your own morry the hydra is a backliner we talked about this!!

hed be the type to not really internalize constructive criticism from teammates. yeah yeah whatever. he DOES get a lot of kills but at the expense of abandoning the actual goal of the game - it's probably resulted in a LOT of very close losses. he'd tilt a lot too, like lili. he's probably only A or S rank, and has league points waaayyy in the negative. his favorite mode is rainmaker, but he likes salmon run a lot too. it's fun to take down all those big nasty fish. he'd have no sense of design tbh his locker would be a little ugly LMAO

FORD CRULLER

ford would be an inkling, and a jack of all trades. him and each of his alters would have their own playstyle and favorite weapons. i'll just talk about agent cruller for now - i think he'd be a support but so practiced with his weapon he can and DOES use it like a slayer when the need arises - maybe undercover brella. he'd know all the best spots to put ink mines and he could show raz the best way to use his reefslider :) i think he'd use his ability slots to play to the strengths of his weapons and enhance them - for the brella, that would mean ink savers, special charge, and sub power. a lot of people would be confused that legendary psychonaut ford cruller would go with something as mid-tier as an undercover brella, but i think the way he uses it represents him well - it seems like it wouldn't get the job done but it's reliable if you give it a chance. sound familiar?

ford was the best player of the whole gang in his prime, and he's still a BEAST at it - he just slips up a little more often. he'd still have a lifetime's worth of knowledge and cool tricks though; i think he would've taught raz a lot of the important fundamental stuff as he was starting out, and if you really looked you could see echoes of ford in how raz plays. he's X rank of course, and his favorite mode is tower control. his locker would look disorganized to the uninitiated, but each section belongs to an alter so they all have a chance to decorate.

CALIGOSTO LOBOTO

cal is an octoling, and switches up his weapons ALL the time. i think he'd favor some really niche ones like bloblobber. he'd be pretty all over the place with his playstyle, having similar issues to morry in having no strategy. he probably doesn't think to practice much or familiarize himself with the limitations of his weapons, so when things get heated he either just throws caution to the wind and shoots without purpose. he doesn't think too hard about his ability comp - his outfit probably looks super silly, actually. silly in a cute way though. he'd wear something colorful, and maybe all the patterns wouldn't quite go together, but he's happy with it. he'd rely on stuff like ninja squid and quick respawn to make up for how flawed his strategy (or lack thereof) is. he'd shark a lot to get surprise splats.

he'd blame just about anything under the sun before he admits it's flawed though. this weapon is just no good, that other team was way higher level anyway, they weren't playing fair, so on and so forth. i think he'd get defensive at criticism -- he takes it very personally. in his eyes, being told about all the ways he could improve is the same as being told he's bad. it takes a lot of coaxing to get him to practice more and learn to admit his own mistakes. he might not even bother with competitive, but if he did he'd be pretty low rank. C or maybe B at best. both because he hasn't been playing for long and he's at a low-ish skill level. his favorite mode would be salmon run cause it's less competitive AND he loves to see the salmonids he thinks they're cool. his locker is a huge mess and has at least one of those furbies or the zapfish plush in it. i have a LOT more to say about cal but for the sake of post length i will save it for later.

this is all i will cover for now BUT..... i have so much more in me i could probably eventually cover the whole cast. for example how gristol malik would use the gold aerospray and be the most annoying player known to man. but i savr those foorrr... next time maybe this is already very very long. thank u for reading 😋

[superjumpintomyheart]

Hi there! I ADORE YOUR WORK. Can you maybe write a fic that’s hurt/comfort? Pearl calming Marina down from a panic attack. It would be super comforting to me ^u^

bro i cant believe this ask came in bc i was literally just thinking about a situation like this in the shower (who doesn't imagine fanfics while taking a shower) so tada here we go with pearlina <3 and thank u so much im so glad u like my stuff!!!! sorry it took a while to get it out!!

[cw, description of intense panic attack, PTSD symptoms]

~

Marina didn't know what happened, one minute she was watching a new movie with her girlfriend and cuddling on the couch, the next she was hyperventilating and sobbing. Curled up in a ball on herself, her knees were folded up to her chest and her arms wrapped around them with a death grip, her nails were starting to dig into her skin but she couldn't feel it.

Pearl was just as confused, but she knew the octoling got like this sometimes, a symptom of her PTSD which they talked about before. The moment she realized Marina spiraling, she did her best to comfort her and try to prevent a full panic attack but her flashbacks were too intense. She sat with her girlfriend, trying to talk to her and get her to come back into reality, away from the torture her mind was subjecting her to.

"Rina, you're safe, you're here with me in Inkopolis, you're home. It's alright baby, please come back to me... please Marina," she pleaded in her gentlest tone, the one she only used for times like this.

Marina gasped in between sobs, trying to catch her breath but it only made her feel like she couldn't breathe at all, furthering her panic. The only sounds she could make were short syllables caught in her breath, completely incomprehensible. Pearl reached out and grabbed one of Marina's hands, leading it away from where she had been clawing herself by accident. She placed it on her chest where the octoling could feel her heartbeat and the movement of her body.

"Here, focus on me, kay? Feel me and match me, follow my rhythm, you're great at doin' that. Feel how I breathe like this, really slow and steady, just in... and out. In... and out." She demonstrated taking large, deep breaths through her nose and slowly exhaling. "Your turn now, just try it with me, in... and out."

Marina did her best to focus on Pearl, seeing the small inkling's body and feeling her heartbeat while she was breathing distracted her from the current pain she was in. She was still hiccuping, but she managed to take a somewhat normal breath in and exhale it quickly. Then again a second time, she tried following her girlfriend, but her body's involuntary reaction was making it hard. She didn't have control, everything was out of her control and she couldn't do anything-

"Pearlie- can't... I can't breathe Pearlie, I-"

"I know sweetheart, I know. You can do it, just look at me, just focus on my face and my movement and my voice, look in my eyes and see how many colors you find. Look at my skin and every single pore and mole I have, hear all the things I say and the sound of me moving on the couch, hear the fan cooling the house and the music playing,” she looked into her girlfriend’s eyes, desperately wanting the tears to clear from them. She didn’t know what else she could do to help, she hated feeling so useless like this. 

The octoling’s eyes darted from Pearl’s eyes to her face to her lips, she saw the gold and yellow and brown in her eyes. She saw the delicate swirls of color blend together outside her pupil and she traced the outline of Pearl’s eye markings with her gaze. Her skin was pale and clear, but Marina still counted every tiny freckle she could find no matter how insignificant it was. 

She could hear Pearl guiding the same breathing exercise she began earlier, and she hadn’t noticed that she had been following along with the rise and fall of the inkling’s chest. When did she stop gasping and start breathing? She listened in to the faint sound of the air conditioner buzzing throughout the house, a sound she mostly tuned out on a daily basis seemed so helpful now. The bluetooth speaker was connected to Pearl’s phone, playing a quiet piano melody of the Calamari Inkantation. 

For the first time since her panic began, Marina unclenched her hand and stretched out her fingers, gaining feeling back in them again. Her arms felt like they were vibrating, she could hardly feel any of her body earlier, but now at least the uncomfortable feeling of her arms being “asleep” was providing some sensation. She closed her eyes for a moment to fully take in the calming energy Pearl had created for her, breathing in the Inkantation melody like it was a lifeline. It always had been for her, for many people who heard it when they were at their lowest. 

“You’re okay Rina, I got you.” Pearl said softly, reaching out to bring her girlfriend into her arms. 

“Pearl,” Marina whispered as she fell into the embrace, wrapping her arms around the inkling’s small frame. She could feel the softness of Pearl’s sweatshirt on her skin, the tingling in her arms was fading much more now and she couldn’t get enough of the texture she could feel again. 

Her face was still damp, but her tears weren’t falling anymore. Her breath still shook upon each deep inhale but she didn’t feel restricted or unable to breathe like she had before. 

Pearl squeezed her tight, playing with her long brown and teal tentacles idly, “You’re safe, baby. You’re always safe with me, I’ll protect you from anything.”

Marina could only nod in confirmation, her voice too weak for her to speak without it failing her. Pearl didn’t need the words though, the two of them always had an understanding of what was left unsaid through their body language. It was okay that she couldn’t voice the words right now, the inkling knew them anyway. 

“I love you so much,” she sighed and rubbed the octoling’s back comfortingly. It had gotten late, the movie they were watching had ended and the house was fairly quiet now. She felt like she could fall asleep right there on the couch, holding her girlfriend tight and chasing away any bad memories or nightmares that may try to haunt her. 

Marina felt herself relaxing, after an emotional outburst like that she was exhausted. Her mind and body both were shutting down for the night, but it didn’t stop her from tracing her finger on Pearl’s chest in the shape of a heart - her way of responding, “I love you too.”

[sunnymoon-sunshine]

It felt like an assignment.

Well, no. It didn’t just feel like an assignment, it was an a task bestowed upon him by the kind of boisterous, loud inkling who wouldn’t take no for an answer. He could still see it, a vision of the past that played in the back of his mind, of a beaky grin and a wrinkled nose and her voice, clear as day,

“Is there anything you actually like about the surface?”

His bewilderment must have been expressed on his face, because she had pressed on, “You just complain all the time. Tell me something you like.”

And when he couldn’t come up with anything in the time limit bestowed upon him by Sammi (which had been about five seconds), they had bickered until she pestered him into making a deal with her: she’d buy him lunch and a smoothie if he wrote down at _least_ five things he liked about living on the surface.

And now it was five minutes past midnight, and he hadn’t a clue what else to put to paper.

The first thing was sunlight, of course. The warmth that kissed his skin, the genuine light that graced the skies. It was something irreplaceable. He knew, because octarians had tried to replicate it, and nothing could come close.

The second were his roommates. The octolings he hadn’t known underground, but were family above. A bond tighter than blood.

The third were stars. That was where his name came from, after all. He hadn’t known Orion had been the name of a mighty hunter, or else he’d have left the name well alone, untarnished by his own hand. But he’d heard the name in a passing breeze, and it felt so right. Even now, for all his doubts, he was Orion now. That was the name attached to him, and no other felt so right.

The fourth was the city. The constant rumble, the familiar hum, the fact that the city never slept was a blessing he couldn’t put into words. Because silence was a reminder of a dome crumbling around him, of too few resources and too many hands reaching out to grab and hoard whatever was available, of shadows that plagued the night as the power shut off and the end of the world seemed nigh.

But the fifth was complicated. Because he knew, in his hearts, what he wanted to write. He could have easily just written something, anything else, but it wouldn’t have the same meaning as the rest.

However, he couldn’t just list her, especially not on a list to give to her. If anything, it would fluff her ego too much. And cod, she could be obnoxious. But she oozed confidence, and her grey eyes alight as she spoke. She went in headfirst into everything she did, heedless of both planning and consequence, but with the passion to see it through to the end. She was a comfort that couldn’t be put into words, because somehow, she made things seem like they would be okay. Sammi appeared in a whirlwind of chaos, loud and bratty as a cephalopod could be, never taking no for an answer from anyone.

And that made her the most comforting thing to be around. Because in the end, things would be okay around her - if they weren’t, she would simply make it so. She would fight beak and nail until the dust settled, and things were fine once more.

“Dude, it was just five things. All you had to do was lie and be like, “Man I love pancakes, they’re so great” and I could have been like, “You’re wrong, waffles are so much better, this is why you’re the worst.” Sammi slapped her hand on the incomplete list for emphasis to her point. Her exasperation clung onto each word like a thick cloud. He also barely cared. 

“In fact, I am giving you permission to lie. At least pretend there are like, five whole things you like about this place. I should take points off for listing the sun and stars, because duh, the sun is a star.”

“Are you done berating my work, or would you like to sit and spit about it for a little while longer?” Orion replied, as dryly as he could. “I’ll pay for my own lunch, thank you.”

“Nah, no. I’m gonna pay for your lunch, because you need one more thing to like about the surface, and I’m gonna smash your nose into this paper until you write down ‘friend who buys me lunch’ as number five. Dude, lighten up. It’s a great world out there! The domes suck and have like, what, food in cans? We have real food here. Let me BUY IT FOR YOU.”

It was odd, Orion thought, as Sammi sauntered away to get them both a (delicious) double-fried monstrosity of a meal. He hadn’t ever talked about the domes in any great detail, let alone the food there. He supposed that it was only logical that maybe she had heard about it second hand, but there was a sneaking suspicion that lingered that perhaps Sammi was hiding something. Which was almost ridiculous, considering she was also the dumbest cephalopod he had ever met, but then again, there always seemed to be more to Sammi than what met the eye.

And he would let her have her secrets, so long as she continued to be an obnoxious, ferocious and comforting force of nature.

[vmeemo]

Guess since I got the time now, I’ll explain a bit of Jackie’s time through Hero Mode and how she fared through it.

To start with, Jackie’s roommate, Melone, still had a contact back in the underground and heard that Callie is planned to get kidnapped. So she asked Jackie if she could bail the idol out because, well the Calamari Inkantation, and felt that she could pay her back in a way. Jackie allows this to happen, with the condition that she does not pursue the Great Zapfish if it happens to go missing as well. Someone else can go deal with that.

(Yes Jackie essentially said, save Callie only, fuck the zapfish though.)

This more or less failed, but not without Mel being able to send one final message: ‘Need help. Plan did not go as intended. Find the Squidbeak Splatoon, and become one of their agents. I can help you from the inside while I’m here. Sorry for not making it back like you asked.’

So with that in mind, Jackie made a stop by the square in Inkopolis to think over where a secret organization would even be. Until she saw the most visible person with an umbrella in the middle of the day. In a kimono. And it was goddamn Marie of the Squid Sisters. And no one is paying attention to this. At that point, after deliberating at how this organization hasn’t been found yet, Jackie goes inconspicuous and inches closer to the idol without letting her know that she know about the agents and whatnot. After seeing Marie dive into the grate beneath her, that was Jackie’s cue to follow.

During the trip, Jackie goes over her plan: Don’t tell Marie that she knows that it was Callie that got kidnapped as well. She doesn’t want to be questioned on her sources and potentially be labelled as either a foe or a nutjob not worth the position of agent.

After playing along with Marie, and making a joke at how no-one seems to know her, Jackie was all suited up and has become agent 4.

Skipping ahead to the first octoling kettle, Jackie notices something: not every octoling in the group was brainwashed. Not wanting to splat those who didn’t want to fight in the first place, she decides to take down the ones who were brainwashed and isolate the ones who weren’t. She would then fake their splatting and tell them to wait until everything is all clear.

This overtime caused a massive moral drop as more and more soldiers went missing. But due to Jackie stealthing those sections, it was hard to really nail down when and where she would strike. All the soldiers got for intel is that the agent may come your way at some point.

Her time with the octobosses went smoothly to say the least. Though every time a boss was defeated, Melone would have the time to send her an update, as well as which soldiers were free ones and those who weren’t. If there weren’t enough, then she would switch out a few as well, to make more go ‘missing’ and demoralize the military more.

By the time Jackie got to the 4th octoling kettle, she received the update that Mel managed to get both herself, as well as a squad of uncontrolled octolings, watch over the kettle. Meaning that Jackie can basically walk right in and take the mini zapfish, no questions asked. And she did. Albeit not without the issue of the one who wasn’t free from mindcontrol. It was dealt with quickly though, and Melone really just wanted to hang with Jackie over at home base for a bit. So under the guise of interrogation, Jackie brought all of them to the cabin base. Marie was not impressed at first, but figured that this can be useful.

After a bit of interrorgating, (and a pizza break) the truth unfortunately comes out: that Jackie from day one knew that Callie was kidnapped, as well as the great zapfish. Jackie could tolerate the jabs and insults, until Marie accused Melone of being cohorts with Octavio and that she is deceiving the agent.

That was one of the few times Jackie lost her temper.

After a high tension argument, Jackie went back to doing agent work and doesn’t care if Marie wants help from Melone or not. She’s what got her the information to everything going on inside the enemy zone in the first place.

Going forward to the final fight, Jackie is doing well against Octavio. At least until Callie herself decided to swoop in to take down the agent. That’s when things got harder. Callie was moving faster than usual, making her harder to hit, and the force of her roller wasn’t helping.

After an intervention by Melone and her groupies, Jackie went back to smacking on Octavio until the Spicy Calamari Inkantation started playing. Armed with the rainmaker, Jackie put an end to the military that stole the zapfish. And she got her friend back as well, so it works out even better.

---

And yeah, it’s not exactly good, but then again this is the footnotes version. To put enough detail in for the sake of it.

[bellygunnr]

The Music is Muffled

<= Previous Chapter | Ao3 | Chapter Three (pending)

The basement Yellow-Green had commandeered for their team meetings had since become theirs entirely. It looked well lived in, the walls plastered with posters and various maps which in turn were covered with marker. A dry-erase board had been erected at one end of the concrete room and, currently, they all sat Knight-style at a round table. Since Rider's departure, the head was left empty, but now it was occupied by Stealth.

Bamboo set her hat on the floor, in conjunction with Stealth casting aside his goggles.

"That was definitely Rider."

"Yes, well, we got that when Goggles took him home," Bamboo said tightly. She drummed her fingers across the surface of the wooden table. "He looked so... ill. Sick!"

"I've never seen anything like it before," Blazer said. "And the way he was acting..."

"Do you guys remember when Blue Team disappeared for a while? And Rider, too?"

"Goggles said they lost Rider down there," Blazer said slowly.

Stealth leans back in his chair, the lenses of his goggles flickering on and off. He was prone to fidgeting with the settings dial when thinking.

"I don't think they lost him. I think they ran away from him."

Now that was a new concept-- one they hadn't considered before. Silence falls over the table as they all look at each other. Each of them remembers distinctly how Blue Team, and the Octolings they brought with them, behaved.

It had started with a text message..

+

Bamboo. Can you come over? With the others.

Bamboo has to fish her phone out of the blankets from which it had been entangled. Blazer still snoozed, undisturbed, her limbs spread akimbo as she snored. She grumbles to herself as again, the phone vibrates, this time with the urgent pulse of a call. A number she saw rarely-- Goggles.

Confused, she blearily answers the phone, willing something to spike her into wakefulness.

“Hello…?”

“Blazer! Thank cod you woke up. Um, something happened. We really need you to get Yellow-Green and come over. Have you heard anything from Rider in the oh, past… uh… how long were we down there?”

There’s a murmur of voices and Bamboo’s anxiety spikes. Drowsiness still pulls at her but it’s less acute now.

“...Rider hasn’t been around for a couple of days,” Bamboo cuts in. “We’ve been looking everywhere for him! Even his Dynamo is gone.”

“A-- a couple days? Guess we were down there for awhile! Well, um, can you please get everyone to come over? You know where my place is, right?”

Goggles sounded… anxious, unsure of himself. Bamboo swallows and starts to nod, only speaking when she remembers it’s a phone call. “Yeah! Yeah, absolutely. We’ll all be there. Is everything okay? Is Rider okay?”

She rubs over Blazer’s shoulder as she notes her girlfriend beginning to move.

“I’ll see you soon, Bamboo.”

And the call goes dead with a soft blip.

“Who was that, babe?”

“It was Goggles. He wants us to come over-- I don’t know why, but it sounds serious. You up for coming with?”

“Weren’t we going to look for Rider today…?”

“Blue Team may have done that for us.”

+

They had never been to Goggles’ house before, but they were fairly certain it wasn’t supposed to feel like this. The air was tight but somber, heavy with something that Bamboo could have cut with her carving knife. Hell, she could have made hundreds of little sculptures out of the tension in the air. Her ears folded back against her head as Yellow-Green was ushered inside.

“Thanks for coming so soon, guys. It means a lot.”

“Y- yeah, no problem,” Bamboo says. “Who are they?”

Inside the tiny studio apartment, six Inklings were crammed, all of them dressed weirdly but two of them sticking out more than the others. Bamboo stares at them with critical, appraising eyes, skin prickling with apprehension. Even their tentacles were strange-- a bright, glossy pink-red, their suckers facing outward.

Almost Inklings. Yet not quite.

“Th- this is Hachi and Nana! Um, we rescued them from… from a really bad guy, way underground.”

“Underground?” Stealth cuts in.

“It’s called the Deep Sea Metro,” one of the strange Inklings says. Their tentacles are arranged in pretty, dancing locks. “My name is Nana. Hachi and I used to be Octarian soldiers before being freed by the Inkantation. I assume you are familiar?”

“The Calamari Inkantation,” Stealth clarifies. “Yes, of course. One of our oldest traditional songs.”

“Correct. Well, shortly after being freed, I was captured and held prisoner by.... By someone--”

“Something,” Specs hissed.

“Someone named Tartar,” Nana finishes firmly.

“And I woke up alone. An ancient squiddo named Cap’n Cuttlefish met me first. Something had knocked me cold-- but I apparently escaped being captured. It wasn’t long before we met Goggles down there.”

Nana’s friend-- Hachi, Bamboo surmised-- had a low, clear voice that told her many things. Her ears flipped out from their folded position.

“And when I met Hachi… we met the Phone.”

Blazer cuts in, frustrated, stepping ahead of the rest of Yellow-Green. “None of this explains where Rider went, you know!”

“We have to tell you everything else!” Hachi exclaims. “Or else you won’t understand the severity of the situation!”

“We don’t understand the situation now! Why are we supposed to believe you guys, huh?”

“Because Rider was with us--! He was with us through the whole thing, and we failed him, and he’s stuck down there and now we don’t know where he’s at, and we’re sorry, we’re really sorry! None of us could do anything! That stupid Tartar got the better of all of us!”

Goggles’ outburst was loud, wobbling with the wet bubbling of an Inkling in distress.

“Rider was with us! He bought us time to escape! Then there was this whole other thing and- and- and we had to save Inkopolis, it was really scary, but we managed to do it but Rider wasn’t there because we failed him! Okay?! We lost him!”

Bobble puts her arm around Goggles’ shoulders, hugging him close.

“It’s hard to believe that all happened in only a few days,” Specs says breathlessly. “It was… really scary.”

“We are not afraid to admit that it was terrifying,” Nana says solemnly. “Rider was-- was a good Inkling, for what little… I saw of him.”

“He’s still alive!” Headphones hisses, smacking the Octoling’s shoulder. Goggles had his face buried in Bobble’s shoulder, clearly suppressing tears.

“Cod, this is a fucking mess, isn’t it?” Bamboo snarks. “Are you saying you got our team captain killed?”

“No! Never,” Hachi bursts out. “Your Rider made a sacrifice, miss, but I promise you he is not dead.”

Nana shoots Hachi a look that Bamboo couldn’t hope to interpret.

+

As soon as Goggles ushered Rider into his home, Rider fled from his grasp, diving into the first room he saw-- the bathroom. The door closes with a loud slam, then a soft click, and Goggles is left staring at the empty space with confused shock. Tentatively, he follows after his partner, pressing his ear against the thin door.

There’s the sound of retching.

“Ri-- Ri, are you okay? Do you need anything?”

The retching doesn’t last long-- maybe five minutes-- but by the time it’s over, Goggles is trembling, nails digging into the palms of his hands. He gasps with relief when he hears the sound of rushing water, indicating that Rider was trying to clean himself up. He knocks on the door with three gentle taps.

“Rider…?”

“M-- Mmm, fine,” a voice mumbles. The door swings open.

“You are not fine! You are so bad! You’re gonna kill me, Rider!” Goggles cries. “We’re getting you some water and you need to lie down!”

Rider whines at the loud voice, pawing at his ears with long, unkempt claws, shoving past Goggles with a groan. He’s wincing and flinching beneath the overhead light. He unceremoniously falls to the floor, burying his face into his tattered vest.

“It’s too warm,” he complains. I want to be back underground! It’s nice and cool and quiet…!

“Then let me cool it down…”

Goggles… busies himself, because if he doesn’t, he will cry. He drags out the futon that he sleeps with, setting it within the AC’s line of flow, and guides Rider into it. He kneels down beside him, offering a single upturned palm to show that he wants-- no, needs-- to interact with him physically.

“Please, big guy? Let’s get those old clothes off you, okay?”

Rider unfurls just slightly, enough for Goggles to get a hold of his gear. The jacket is unzipped and unfastened, which proves not to be overly difficult as most of the fastenings are worn and torn. He slides the heavy gear from Rider’s shoulders, leaving a plain sweater. It’s bright red.

“Where’s your black jacket, bud?”

He receives no response except violent shivering.

Goggles sighs and coaxes Rider into lying down.

“I’m just glad you’re back…”

+

“Do you think Hachi knows that we found Rider? Maybe we should tell him…”

This idea comes from Blazer, wily and impressive always. She slams her phone down onto the table, the Octoling’s contact information already pulled up. A determined light dances in her eyes.

“They have to know something, right? They can help us fix Rider!”

“I think… that would work. What do you think, Stealth?”

Stealth nods very slowly. “It really can’t hurt. Then tomorrow… we should check on Goggles and Rider. I’m worried.”

Blazer dials Hachi shortly after their agreement, fang digging into her lip. Silence becomes heavy and suffocating in their little basement, threatening to choke her, until finally, an accented “Hello?” comes through the other side.

“H- Hachi! Hello, I know this is sudden-- are you free? Something happened, uh…”

“Oh, Miss Blazer? Well, Headphones already told me. About your Captain, yes?”

“O- Oh? Did… she? Yes, Rider uh-- came back today. He looked really…”

“Sanitized. Yes. You should come over. The others are already here. Nana will add you all to the group chat.”

“Thank you, Hachi…”

And the call goes dead with a soft blip.

“Guess we’re going to Hachi’s! Blue Team is already there,” Blazer says with forced cheeriness. But she couldn't help but think-- what the hell was "sanitized?"

+

“AGENT. You’re beginning to upset me-- bring that blue pest and his friends to me! Enough of this weakling act.”

[salmonruntips]

I've always wondered.. how long does it usually take to practice with any kind of charger? I, more or less, wish to be good with the charger, but I don't have the patience for it.

Hi, semi-charger main Kiera here! Getting good with a charger is something you need to really practice at. My recommendation for now is, if you can, make another account (Switch profile and Nintendo account) and use that to practice with the charger in low level lobbies.

If you don’t wanna do that (because it’s too much effort or because the online services start mid-September or whatever reason,) my other suggestion is to practice with the charger in the single player levels, specifically the vs octoling levels (levels 9, 15, 21, and 27) because the octolings move kind of like people do and it gets you used to ground-bound player sized targets.

You can also just grab a charger (the normal charger, probably at first) and try your luck in turf war. It can get a little frustrating, especially if you’re a higher level, but the more you practice, the better you get.

As for how long it takes, it really depends on how well you can aim. People are always saying that lower sensitivities are better for chargers, and for some people slower is better. I usually keep my sens up to about 3.5+ for both stick and motion (and it may not need to be said, but motion controls are super useful here) and it feels better for me (though that may be because I prefer shorter range chargers like the Squiffer).

Online multiplayer can be the most frustrating of all the modes so definitely try out the charger in the regular single player first so you can get used to the way it moves and shoots. If you have the Octo Expansion, a lot of those levels use a charger, too, but depending on the difficulty of the level, the charger might be more of a hindrance than a help.

I’ve been playing charger off an on since Splatoon 2 came out and I used to try to use the charger in Splatoon 1 and I still feel like I have tons and tons of room to improve. I’m sorry I can’t be more helpful and give a better answer, but trying to main charger (or even get better at it) really does take a ton of practice and patience.

Some days are better than others for me in terms of “how well can I play charger today” so take it a day at a time. If you feel like you’re doing a bad job one day with the charger, missing a lot of shots or getting splatted or swarmed a lot, take a step back and try again another day.

Also, this may be a little unconventional, but it may be beneficial to practice with a splatling as well? Splatlings and chargers are functionally similar in that they both require charging and aiming well. If you can nail lots of hits with a splatling, you might find you can hit better with a charger. Just keep in mind that chargers need more precision in that they only fire once while splatlings fire a barrage of shots.

Just remember:

it’s okay to taking a while to aim as long as you’re safe

charging behind walls and other obstacles hides your sniper laser (the line that chargers make so you know you’re being aimed at)

jumping/falling makes you charge Really Slow (except Bamboozlers, and more recently, Squiffers, which can charge mid air)

you can hold your charge by submerging while continuing to hold ZR (it’s Very Brief for anything besides a Goo Tuber so make it count!)

when you’re submerging and holding a charge you glow so you can’t sneak around like that

you glow when you’re fully charged so everyone can see it

WATCH YOUR reticle and be aware of the fact that obstacles can and happily will block your shots (the reticle in the middle of the screen May Not always be where your shot will land so make sure you pay attention to that)

when you’re aimed at a valid target (like players, boxes, mini zapfish barriers, etc) the reticle will have an X shape instead of just a circle

you can shoot will jumping as long as your shot is charged (I find that if I stand with my shot charged and hidden behind an obstacle like a wall or floor, if I jump, the reticle won’t be blocked anymore and it gives me a bit of an element of surprise and/or more range)

BACK UP if you’re being targeted!!! most other weapons have less range than most chargers so if you stand back you can reach them but they can’t reach you

even though a charger is (generally) a perch weapon (a weapon that works better from higher up) you can’t stay in one spot the whole match, especially if you’ve landed a shot and/or have shorter range. figure out multiple good places to shoot from in each map so you have a backup plan if the other team is sick of seeing your charger line come from a specific place. lots of people hunt down chargers specifically and 1v1 matches with brushes and dualies specifically are tough. (bamboozlers and squiffers are really good for jumping into the middle of a gun show but you still have to keep some distance. tap shots with those weapons are fast but not as fast as a shooter type)

don’t be afraid to use subs and specials!!!!! splat bombs specifically are useful if you’re being chased; just drop one directly at your feet and run!! sometimes that can take our your pursuers

ink saver is incredibly useful and ink recovery can help you get ink back in a pinch. if you’re not landing a lot of shots but you’re getting splatted a lot, use quick respawn to get back in there. figure out what gear works best for you, the type of charger you’re using, and your specific play style

this is also sort of a general tip, but be aware of where your teammates are and also of where the other team is. watching for your teammates can help to keep them alive and being aware of the other team can help keep YOU alive. I can’t count how many times I’ve been hit from behind because someone snuck up behind me. it can be hard to do but just being aware of the possibility of an ambush should help a lot too

I realize this ran a little long, but I hope this helped!!! chargers can be hard but they can also be Really Satisfying when you hit that shot Just Right. :3

[silverstarsheep]

Salmonid Headcanons!

I wanted to write up some headcanons that I’ve made about the Salmonid, and I thought I’d share them while I’m at it! (Because I totally haven’t gone on about these things enough in recent...) Give it a read if you’re interested. I did my best to implement already existing canon into these, so I hope there aren’t too many holes.

Being very food-centric, Salmonid are omnivorous and are willing to eat just about anything edible--including other sea creatures. Although they may be deterred with communication, this can be a bit challenging as Salmonid have a language of their own--though it's not too far off from what's commonly spoken in Inkopolis. (Inklings may have an even harder time with this, due to squid being a favorite dish of Salmonid. Never mind the egg stealing...)

Their diets usually consist of fruits and vegetables that they cultivate themselves, as well as any meat they can get their fins on. Fishing tools are just as common as kitchen utensils in a Salmonid's home.

They aren't much for importing and exporting with other species; they prefer to trade with their own communities. A few exceptions include Octarians for additional technology, though the Salmonid can be very difficult to deal with, as they are stubborn and ferocious with their business. After Grizzco came in and started stealing eggs, any chances of them opening up to more communities have been squashed.

The smell of Inklings and Octolings alone can cause Salmonid to fly into a rage. They can pick up the smell from a distance away, and so whenever one catches a whiff of an oncoming boat, the Salmonid gear up for battle. Though they love eating squid, their focus here is more on eliminating the Inklings than getting a bite to eat.

Golden Eggs are the fertilized eggs of Salmonid. These are incredibly important, and as such they will fight tooth and nail to keep them safe. It's rare for parents to keep their eggs on their nest when they're not able to watch over it, and therefore they will often keep the eggs with them.

Both male and female parents will work on raising eggs and the fry together. It's not uncommon for the community to help raise he young fry as well, encouraging teamwork and cooperation even at a young age.

These eggs contain a massive amount of power, more than typical fish eggs, which is used for developing the fish inside. This power can be used for personal gain; if one doesn't use up all the energy, the fry will still hatch, albeit much smaller and weaker. However this is incredibly difficult, as the eggs are very fragile and can be easily popped if one is not careful.

After discovering what Grizzco uses their Golden Eggs for, the Salmonid have started utilizing the eggs themselves, albeit on a slightly safer level. Grizzco has not yet found a way to safely use the eggs without destroying them, though that seems to be relatively low priority….

Due to the Salmonid using the energy from the Golden Eggs, adult Smallfry have become more common. These are slightly larger than the young Smallfry, but significantly smaller than the normal adult.

The rapid rate at which Grizzco has been stealing eggs has pushed the Salmonid to become very war-minded. Much of their energy and time is now dedicated to strategies, training, and weapon building, rather than cooking and farming. This generation is far more intense than the last, to the point where even Smallfry will get involved in battles. Older Salmonid who were raised before the war started are now getting involved as well, in hopes to defend their young.

Due to the substantial loss in eggs, the Salmonid population is on the decline. Though their numbers are still high, there's a certain desperation that kicks in whenever more eggs are stolen. This desperation is what caused the generals to allow the very eager Smallfry to join the fray.

Short migrations are commonplace; typically they migrate yearly for spawning season to allow the newly hatched fry to grow up in fresh water, though during famine they will travel to find fertile land to plant their crops. Every 70 years, the Salmonid will pack up their homes and make a great migration to new land to suit a new generation. Very often these lands aren't "new," as they're returning to locations that older generations lived in. Migration paths are always consistent.

During their seasons of migration, Salmonid tend to be ravenous due to traveling long distances without taking the time to stop and eat. Once they reach their location, it isn't uncommon for them to strip the location bare of all vegetation to satiate their appetite. While this does take a brief toll on the location, they do return what they can by replanting seeds. It's best to avoid these areas to not accidentally become a part of the menu.

Though not all Salmonid get along, working together for a common goal is paramount in their society. Their teamwork and cooperation can especially seen during runs, where even rebellious Salmonid will put forth the effort to work as a team to keep their enemies at bay. Additionally, the band ω-3 works exceptionally well together when making music, despite their age gap and different ideals outside of music. Their songs inspires the soldiers.

Fin color is an important factor to Salmonid culture. Yellow, green, orange, and purple are the most commonly seen on the battlefield, though other colors have been sighted during migrations. The constantly changing colors of Inkling and Octoling hair, and even ink, is confusing to them.

The colors seem to represent the ranking within the army:

⦁ Yellow fins and their status are a bit muddled; the yellow could show high status, as Goldie is considered royalty, however they aren't respected by the other generals. Salmonid with this color are often frowned upon as they prefer to work on their own terms, rather than with the rest of the army. They will cooperate with the soldiers, but rarely listen to their generals.

⦁ Green fins aren't commonly seen, though these are usually high-ranked Salmonid. They are highly trained generals, and are trusted with powerful weapons.

⦁ Orange is the most common fin color, and used for soldiers. Normally only seen with kitchen utensils as their weapons, which are mostly heavy duty frying pans or sturdy spoons for the Smallfry. Other utensils have also been seen, but this isn't common. Some “Bosses” such as the Flyfish are shown to still have orange fins. This is due to the pilot being a Smallfry, who despite their elite training, are still too young for a higher military position.

⦁ Purple is relegated for those that are in training to join the ranks. These are usually the Snatchers, who are relegated to reclaiming unguarded eggs to prove themselves enough to be on the front lines. They train to use weaponry outside of the fields.

A lack of a fin does not diminish the Salmonid's stature, however. A few generals can be seen without fins, such as Steelheads and Maws.

Salmonid are surprisingly intelligent, able to make powerful machines from scrap metal they find. Though their machines may not be the prettiest or advanced things in the world, they certainly do work marvelously for their needs. They can also work fast, able to finish building before a battle, and to make repairs on the fly.

Extremely resourceful, Salmonid will use anything at their disposal--even kitchen appliances and utensils will be implemented into their weaponry. They're also cost effective, recycling and reusing any scrap metal or materials they have at hand. With access to old scrap yards and their precious kitchen-based heirlooms, they have more than enough metal to sustain their army for years.

Goldies often craft the bigger, more complicated machines and teach the other mechanics their ways. Goldies are highly respected by the community, and very rarely do even rebellious Salmonid go against them.

The ink they produce is different from what Inklings and Octolings produce, but it's very similar. It's far more oily however, and even rather viscous, making it even harder for others to swim through it. They are capable of swimming through their ink, but with the exception of Maws, they rarely do. Their ink color is almost always consistent.

[eclectic-spaghetti]

(tumblr sucks, please click for better quality)

so i finally did a good and drew somethin in @lesbian-octoling’s style, and who better than my Agent Four! Her name is Rose   and she is a Big Gay™

some hcs:

She has a crapton of scars, but the biggest is is one that nearly splits her entire forehead. She tells the other agents that she got it when an Octocommander nailed her with a shot, but it’s actually from a really bad accident when she was eight that involved a stapler and sixteen stitches.

Has major PTSD from Too Much Salmon Run. She would rather not ever touch her rubber overalls again, but she has no other source of income. It’s much easier to handle when someone she knows is with her.

Because of this, she tries to get back at the Salmonids in the most petty ways possible (such as eating Power Eggs, ass seen above) in an effort to make herself feel better.

Startles REALLY easily, to the point where she yelps if someone enters the room quieter than usual.

She got an octo tattoo to match Callie’s because it’s a big trauma and she wants to help her through it.

Speaking of which, they aren’t technically dating, but they’re so close to each other that they basically are.

She’s basically that one amazing aunt that calls everyone ‘love’ and ‘dear.’

Is actually really, really, scared of DJ Octavio, which is why she drops by Octo Canyon sometimes to check on the snow globe (and pump a few rounds into it with the Brella)

She really enjoys cooking, and usually supplies the food at the Annual Squidbeak Splatoon Reunions.

Instinctually guessed Agent Eight’s favorite food when Agent Three brought her over when they escaped the subway. No one exactly knows how, especially Eight, who didn’t even KNOW what her favorite food was until "Aunt Rose” made it for her (it’s Squid Rings with rice and Power Eggs on the side.

She’s essentially Agent Eight’s adoptive mom after she realized that Eight never knew her mother, or if she even had one.

That bowl in the first picture? That’s actually a very well preserved human relic. It was actually kept in the Museum D’Alphonse for a while until she saved it from the garbage dump when they were downsizing the exhibits. She likes to stare at the symbols on it and wonder what humans meant when they write them.

Loves wearing oversized sweatpants and just lounging on the couch.

Prefers the Flingza Roller for Turf and the Hydra Splatling for Tower Control, but isn’t above using a Tenta Brella for Rainmaker.

[randomfictkin]

Octo Expansion first impressions

I was honestly really excited about the Splatoon 2 Octo Expansion when it came out. I preordered it the same weekend it was announced and kept waiting for any and all updates on it. I was really excited about there being a brand new story and and new things to learn about the lore. I was really interested to see what game design innovations were there if any, and I was ready to play basically a version of Hero Mode only with good story.

I have to say, I'm pretty disappointed for a number of reasons with this addition to the game. I'll get into what I don't like in a minute though. First I'll nail what I find good about it.

the story so far is really interesting, and explores the psychological effects of the brainwashing of the Octolings. I like how they convey how disorienting everything is for Agent 8 and how they show that Octolings aren't actually evil.

the enemy AI is actually good this time, they're not just running around shooting at random stuff, they actually strategize their attacks on you, and it actually feels like you're taking out an enemy. I really can recognize the polish they put into making the enemies themselves a challenge to take on, and I appreciate the effort they put in to make the Octolings you fight actually feel smart.

the environmental detail is excellent, I love how interesting and detailed everything looks, not a single model in this expansion is placed in the environment without an intent in mind, from graffiti on the subway train to IV stands on the trees. everything is a hint and a view into the lore of the game, it's very interesting.

now for what I don't like about it... oh boy...

I can understand the appeal of a difficult game, the high challenge gives you a sensation of euphoria once you beat a level. you get to release everything for a moment and gloat in the fact that you just pulled off something that seems extremely daunting. there's a massive difference between an interesting challenge and unfair difficulty though, and Nintendo showed so little restraint that the game is way past both of those into the realm of nearly impossible. I don't know how they expected a mainstream audience to actually enjoy this, but it's not working for me. I don't like sitting down to play a game I paid about 80 dollars for only for it to punish me for not being quite good enough at it. don't get me wrong, not all of these levels are bad. there are one or two that I've played that I found myself thoroughly enjoying. the first level was fantastic, it had some serious challenge in it, and had a logical progression of difficulty from start to end, it was a truly great level, but it just kinda devolved from there. the next level I remember playing was one where you have to get through an obstacle course in an infinite version of the baller special within a specific amount of time. I really enjoyed this level, it was really hard, but exactly what I had to do was clear, and once I figured out how my approach should work, I accomplished it. another one was a rail based level where you have dualies and your one goal is to make it to the end without dying. it was cool to quickly react to anything and everything coming my way, and think my way around the enemies and hazards in my path. but contrasted against that, you have a stupid shooting gallery level where you need to hit 20 boxes without hitting any balloons, which in itself wouldn't be that big of a deal, it would have some interesting and cool challenges to it, and it would make you think, but if you don't do it in time, our main protagonist gets remotely detonated by the guy who plopped us into the level, which brings me to my next point.

C. Q. Cumber is one of the prominent characters, and owner of the subway train that's taking you to Inkopolis. he has a cool and cute looking design and on his face, he's a likeable character, but don't let that fool you, this sea cucumber is a sociopath. he'll take you to Inkopolis, sure, but you have to do 80 nearly impossible tests for him, and you have to pay him to participate in these tests, and if you mess up just a little bit, he'll inflate your backpack until it explodes, taking you with it. I wanted to like the character, I really did, but I have to say, I hate him so much. I had a stupid grin on my face when he appeared on screen the first time, but now I can wholeheartedly say that said grin has been replaced with a grimace.

Pearl and Marina have integral roles in the story too. I actually like what Marina does, that's some pretty nice stuff, but Pearl does some stuff that in my book, is really not okay. when you run out of currency to continue playing a level, even if you have enough to go back and grind on an early level(you will, trust me) she has the "bright" idea of removing some money from her father's account and giving it to you, making you pay it back to her. you read that right, Pearl forces debt on you. then the game has the nerve to treat you like a child and tell you "when you have debt, you should always pay it back" even though Pearl never asked you if you were okay with being put in debt. I would've said no if I was given the choice, honestly. personally, being in debt whether it's in real life or not seriously stresses me out, that's one of the reasons why I don't like living in the house I'm in, because something might happen and my parents go "ok you owe us now" despite the fact that it's insanely hard for me to make any money due to their own restrictions. I currently "owe" them $150 because they've asserted that it's not a big deal for them to force that kind of debt on me. so it's pretty obvious what Pearl giving me a "loan" of 3000 points reminded me of.

so far, I feel like Octo Expansion is really really promising, but I can't in good conscience call it a good expansion.

[new-squidbese-fattoon]

“Hmmmm... Nope, because no matter where we go in the Kelp Dome, you’re going to get preeeeetty big, Kira!” Callie pointed out, which... Oh cod.

That just hammers the nail in the coffin, doesn’t it? She was probably going to make sure that Kira got so coddamn fat that she was unrecognizable as an Octoling, wasn’t she? Most importantly, did that excite Kira more or did that thought absolutely terrify her?

Kira took a deep breath and she knocked on the apartment door belonging to one dark tentacled idol. Apparently she had something in store for the Octoling that she might enjoy, and in typical Kira fashion she didn't question at all why Callie had been giggling over the phone. She'd started to get used to her girlfriend being energetic and goofy, and chalked it up to typical Callie antics. If only she knew what she was in store for.

@immense-inklings

[tako-kola]

Plot: Canyon Conquest - Prologue Part 3

((This story takes place during the Squid Sister Stories. Which is 9 months, after the Final Splatfest. Fynn was feeling melancholy since the new year had started. Just what made him down in the dumps?))

Fynn, Dawn, Ray, and Tundra belongs to me

Tat (mentioned) belongs to @splatatattat

Dawn was back at Fynn's apartment after their shopping at Arowana Mall. Dawn's parents will arrive, once the movers get all of the furniture and home decor. Ray was planning on offering his beach house to Fynn on his 20th birthday. A little getaway to bring his teamates over. The only thing she's worried about is not seeing her teammates at the Plaza. She's going to miss her cousin, Skyla, Scorpia, and sometimes Hanzo. Most of all, Azalea. She hasn't heard from her in a few months.

Dawn lazily played with Fynn's pet, Muffin for a bit and sighed. "I wonder where Fynn's heading off to..?" She said, still petting Muffin. It was a gift that Tat helped her brother find a pet. The sea slug purred, happily by the touch of Dawn's index finger. She hoped he's doing alright since Fynn's been pretty quiet when they left.

After what feels like an hour or two, Fynn came home along with Ray. It was finally time for Dawn to leave. "Hey, dad." Dawn stopped petting Muffin and approached to him. "So, is everything packed up?"

The fuschia-bearded inkling cleared his throat and smiles. "Yup! The beach house is cleaned and ready for Fynn to use. It was supposed to be a surprise, but.." He looked over at his son.

"You kinda fail at keeping secrets, old man." Still, he was fairly surprised. "So, you ready to move to Inkopolis Square?" He turned to Dawn with a look of worry in his eyes. It's hard to say goodbye to her friends and classmates, but she'll still contact Skyla and the rest via social media or cell phone. Fynn can relate since he moved to Inkopolis, long ago.

"I'm ready. I'm sure, Team Sky Splash will be fine without my presence.." She smiles, a bit. Dawn came along way after 2 years, living in Inkopolis. She started her first turf battle with Fynn and his ex for while until she came home for dinner. Dawn suddenly hugged her brother, tightly. Her face was burried against Fynn's chest. "Please take care of yourself, Big Bro. Thanks for today.." Her voice was muffled enough for Fynn to barely hear.

Fynn returned the hug and smiles. "No matter what happens, you'll always be my shining star. Give it your all in Inkopolis Square." Fynn lets her go after a few seconds of their embrace. His little sister is all grown up.

"Be sure to stop by the Square, as well. Now that the Plaza is yesterday's news." Ray gave him a pat on the back. "As for me, I got a new job at Grizzco Industries. So, moving out of my home is a good idea." Ray had applied to Grizzco, not too long ago. He's never seen the boss in real life, who is in charge of the whole industry.

"I know, I know. Not like I have to choice to stay here, anyway." He shrugged. Fynn walked over to the front door and opened it for them. "I'll stop by at your new home, soon. Hope ya'll have a safe trip." Fynn smiles, a little. After walking around at the mall, his energy was drained completely. He need deserves a long nap until he meets Tundra for tonight's special training.

Ray and Dawn left the apartment with a few shopping items that his sister bought from a clothing store. She'll buy more gear once she visits the new Booyah Base or whatever name they'll call it for a mall area. Dawn looked back at Fynn for the last time, before taking the stairs. ("Is it me or Fynn's been feeling exhausted..") She could tell by the bags under Fynn's eyes. Like he hasn't gotten any beauty sleep from last night.

Fynn closed the door behind them and he made his way to the living room couch. With a sounding sigh, he rested his head on the soft and comfy pillow. He made sure to get some good rest and avoid any nightmare like the one from lat night. And then, he drifted off to sleep for a while.

A couple of hours later...

Fynn was waiting by the entrance to the sewers like Tundra had scheduled, yesterday. The entire plaza is deserted during the night; even the Great Zapfish was sleeping and unlit. Everything was quiet, until he heard a tomboyish voice from afar.

"Ah, Fynn. Glad you can make it." His personal trainer, Tundra arrived a bit late before him. Still in her inkling disguise, she greeted him with open arms. "Ready to begin?" She asked.

"I brought my stuff with, just in case if wanted to stay there for the night. I'm always ready." Fynn just couldn't turn back, now. He needs to improve his skills or he'll die trying. He's also worried about his friends and family noticing about his absence, including his girlfriend. Before he left the house, he written a letter to Eimie. Whenever she gets home, she'll have time to read.

The message would say: ("If you're reading this, I'm going to be away for who knows how long. Remember to take care of Muffin for me. Don't worry, I'm coming back and I'll explain everything. Sincerely yours, Fynn T. Sparks.") He left the note on the fridge, where Eimie could find something to eat.

"Good. I know a secret route to my battle dojo through the sewers. You'll be training here for at least, 2 months before the competition. Don't worry about getting splatted, I've already installed a spawn point." She opened the lid to the sewers and turned to face him. "Try to keep up, kay?" She morphed into a squid and went down the drain.

Fynn turned into a squid as well, leaving Inkopolis without any traces. He's sure that his friends will miss him when he's gone training.

Tundra made a right instead of leading to the main entrance where Captain Cuttlefish was living. He hasn't heard from him, nor Octavio ever since the last splatfest. Meanwhile, Fynn was catching up Tundra through the pipes. Wherever she's leading to, he has a feeling that it's pretty far away from the kettles.

Tundra emerged out of the sewers and landed on her feet, while Fynn showed up and landed on the soft dirt with her. "Here we are! Welcome to Tundra's Battle Dojo!" The sign was nailed and painted against the slightly large temple in the middle of nowhere. "I know, it's a working title. Let's get inside, so we can get started with your first lesson." She slides the door open to step inside, waiting for Fynn to enter the battle dojo too.

Fynn eagerly, entered the dojo and closed the sliding door behind him. The inside of the dojo is rather dusty and infested with spider webs. He stared at the interior in concern, seeing that it hasn't been cleaned in over a year or two. ("This needs to be taken care of, first thing in the morning..") With his experience in cleaning, he'll clean this place from top to bottom within minutes. But for now, Fynn is standing in the middle of the wooden and unpolished floor.

"For today's lesson is movement speed without any of your swim speed or running speed abilites on your gear. I'm going to have you put on 10 pounds ankle weights for an hour in a half. Next, we'll start with some dodging techniques Don't go overboard with them on or you'll be hurtin' til next week." She fetched a pair of ankle weights from her equippment storage room and handed over to Fynn. "Try them on and tell me if it's too heavy for you." If Fynn gets hurt during training, Tundra will be responsible for her screw-ups. Otherwise, Ray would be very displeased.

"Huh.. They've warned me about the those when I first registered at Musselforge Fitness. Not only it helps with running, but it also improves your glutes." After a could years of going to the gym, he knew better than to take a severe risk to his weights. He sat down and put on both his ankle weights. They seem a bit heavy when equipped.

"They don't seem too heavy for me. Will this improve my mobility?" He asked, standing up. He slowly lifted his right leg and then, his left. He can imagine two mini anchors, weighing him down to the surface.

"Mmmmhm!"" She nodded in response. "It's better to just walk, instead of running. I'll change the weights, every time you're finished with your session. Be sure to let me know if you're having a bit of trouble. She gave him a thumbs up and a bright smile. "I believe in you, Fynn!"

And with some motivation from Tundra, Fynn got to work on warming up his ankles. Fynn's got two months until the splat tournament. Sometimes, he's just worried about his friends and family. Even Dawn was a bit worried about him.

Meanwhile in the distance from the battle dojo, there are five octoling soldiers. The middle elite had been spying on the two from the shadows. She signaled the Octarain Hideout through a headset. "I've found the target. And she brought a pink inkling with some kelp around his hair.." The leader stared at the targets in disgust. "After all these years, I finally found you.. Traitor... The octoling elite zoomed in closer with her binoculars, trying to get a better view.

"What shall we do, commander? Why not take Tundra by force and kill the inkling, already!" The 2nd soldier on her left spoke. She's itching for a fight since she got here.

The commander shook her head. "No. Let them do their so-called training for a while. We have a matter of time to capture our fugitive and make one of us again.. We can't afford anymore failures than the last time. And for the pink inkling?" The commander smiled in a sinister way. "My Blaster will be the last time, he'll see.." And then, the five octlings disappeared into the night. Now that they found both Fynn and Tundra, who knows what they're hoping to achieve in the future.

To Be Continued...

[robdwebster]

Stuff of the year, 2018

"Mum, look! He's shitting out the thing again!"

Game of the year:

Two Point Hospital

Celeste

Super Smash Bros. Ultimate

I dragged my feet on a lot of cool games this year. I didn't play Smash Bros. until the last week of the year, and got round to Celeste on NYD 2019! Smash is an unremarkable triumph - it is exactly the game I expected, but it's so good and there's so much of it that it was easily the best Switch game this year. Celeste is more interesting; brutal, but kind to the player, with a cracking soundtrack and some magical design. It gains a lot of points for being about something - that punishing difficulty makes you feel like you’re really climbing a mountain, and the frank way it discusses mental health is really phenomenal.

But Two Point Hospital - man! Like Sonic Mania last year, Two Point Hospital is a spiritual sequel to one of my favourite childhood games. Unlike Sonic Mania, it's not perfectly realised. I'm still not a big fan of the art-style, and there were some genuine balance / difficulty issues at launch affecting things like queue length and patient AI. That said, this game has had a ludicrous half life. I love the challenge, I love the mechanics, I love that it's easy to pick up but tricky to master. I love its tone, I love its sense of humour, and some 140 hours in I still don't feel like I'm done enjoying it. Just wonderful.

Other games I liked: Bomb Chicken, Donut County, Fallout 76, Graveyard Keeper, Jackbox Party Pack 5, Nintendo Labo, Pokémon Let's Go!

Album of the year:

Gorillaz - The Now Now

Muse - Simulation Theory

Gesu no Kiwami Otome - Suki nara Towanai

Hey! A year where I loved more than three albums!

It's nice to have a new band in the top three; I'd never heard of Gesu no Kiwami Otome before this year, but their new album is great. It's even nicer that Muse's long-awaited new album is actually good! I pre-ordered it reluctantly, fully expecting it to be mediocre, but Simulation Theory is a dorky, retro joy. Best of all is that Gorillaz have released two albums-of-the-year in a row! The Now Now was a chilled out treat, the perfect record for a lazy summer evening. Or a winter evening. Or whenever, really. Just play it. It’s grand.

Other albums I liked: A Perfect Circle - Eat the Elephant, Kero Kero Bonito - Time 'n' Place, Polkadot Stingray - Ichidaiji

TV of the year:

James Acaster: Repertoire

Orange is the New Black

Aggretsuko

This year has been ridiculous for brilliant television, and there is so much that it's killing me not to include. Last year's winner Taskmaster aired one of its best ever series, but a more uneven run at the start of the year plus stiff competition kept it out of the top three. King of Bots is Chinese Robot Wars, it is berserk, and it has an even more berserk spin-off show - both of which I’ve omitted!

But, three shows that nailed it. Aggretsuko, with its charming characters and acerbic office satire. Orange is the New Black, which has no business being in such rude health after six seasons. James Acaster's four (four!) interlinked stand-up specials. Hard-earned!

Other shows I liked: Bojack Horseman, Derren Brown: The Jump, Disenchantment, Hilda, Inside No. 9, King of Bots, Taskmaster, The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, The Horne Section Television Programme, The Mash Report, This is Fighting Robots, Who is America

Film of the year:

The Shape of Water

Isle of Dogs

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

I'm usually a bit sniffy about Oscar nominees - I always expect them to be worthy snorefests about how tragic life is. Maybe my tastes are changing, maybe I misjudged them - or maybe this year just happened to be a belter, but last year's Best Picture nominees were superb! I watched four out of the nine, and am gutted to have missed two more. Two of them were released this year in the UK, and are therefore eligible for this blog: The Shape of Water, which is beautiful, romantic, and turns the cold war into a romantic fantasy without sanding off its rough edges, and the morally grey but socially conscious Three Billboards.

Meanwhile, Isle of Dogs wasn’t nominated for any awards, but it was about some nice dogs, so that’s still good for second place.

Other films I liked: Mary and the Witch's Flower, Ready Player One

Podcasts of the year:

FiveThirtyEight Politics

Reply All

Whatever Happened to Pizza at McDonalds?

Temptation is to try and make these lists different every year, but when Reply All and FiveThirtyEight keep nailing it, what else can you do? Reply All did have a slightly more muted year, mostly due to behind-the-scenes stuff, but earns its placement with The Snapchat Thief alone.

The sole newcomer in this list is Whatever Happened to Pizza at McDonalds, an investigative journalism programme (or IJP) that isn't afraid to ask the big questions. Mainly, whatever happened to pizza at McDonalds?

Other podcasts I liked: Adam Buxton Podcast, All Killa No Filla, Everything is Alive, Hello Internet, Kermode & Mayo Film Review, Lovett or Leave It, My Dad Wrote a Porno, Oh No! Ross and Carrie, Off Menu, Pod Save America, Richard Herring's Leicester Square Theatre Podcast, Secret Dinosaur Cult, So You Think You're Smart, The Horne Section Podcast

Gig of the year:

Gein's Family Giftshop, vol. III

I only went to a couple of gigs this year - all of which were good, but I wanted to give Gein's Family Giftshop a special mention.

GFG were already my favourite live comedy act - they perform as a three-person sketch group, a sublime blend of the crude, the audacious and nihilistic. They are fucking phenomenal; I've linked to one of their YouTube sketches above but it's only a tenth as good as the live show.

Anyway, when they played in Bristol, their third member had tonsillitis. Rather than cancel the show, Kath and Ed performed the whole show on their own, and stormed it! Live shows are always best when they feel spontaneous - the danger of knowing anything could go wrong (and to an extent already had!) adds an electricity to a room. Watching it all go right is even better! I laughed so much - one of those events where you just had to be there, and I'm so chuffed that I was.

Stuff of yesteryear:

Gesu no Kiwami Otome - Odorenai nara, Gesu ni Natte Shimae yo (album)

Arrival (film)

Nier: Automata (video game)

My annual category for “stuff that wasn’t released this year but I enjoyed checking out.” Nier: Automata was the right kind of ludicrous - full of batshit ideas. Arrival was a more low-key brand of batshit, but still incredibly inventive and oddly optimistic - one of those films where you emerge from the cinema and the world feels a little bit different.

But only one of these moved me to blog. Click here to read me very excitedly discovering Gesu no Kiwami Otome, back in May. The listed EP is the best, but you can’t go wrong anywhere.

Other parties I enjoyed arriving late to:

Games: Bayonetta 2, Cities: Skylines, DmC: Devil May Cry, Dishonored 2, Life is Strange: Before the Storm, Overcooked, Superhot

Books: Everybody Lies, So You’ve Been Publicly Shamed, The Humans, The Signal and the Noise

Films: Ex Machina, Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle, Kubo and the Two Strings

Bands: Polkadot Stingray

Single of the year:

Gorillaz - Tranz

Muse - Pressure

Gesu no Kiwami Otome - Onna wa Kawaru

I don’t really like this category because there’s a lot of crossover with album of the year, but it’s a pretext to post the Pressure music video, so... shrug!

It also means I can give Dream Theater and The Constellations honourable mentions even though they didn’t release full albums this year. Well done Dream Theater and The Constellations. I liked your nice songs.

Other songs I liked: Dream Theater - Untethered Angel, Kero Kero Bonito - Make Believe, Kero Kero Bonito - Dreams of Oneonta

DLC of the year:

Octo Expansion

Bigfoot

Sonic Mania Plus

Considering it's been my favourite home console franchise since the day it was released, I have given Splatoon short shrift in end-of-year roundups, picking Fallout 4 as my number one game in 2015 and Sonic Mania in 2017.

I don't regret either of those picks, but I'm delighted that Splatoon finally gets to run away with a number one placing this year. The Octo Expansion is incredible value for money, a more-is-more single player campaign with playable octolings at the end - the team nailed it. Phenomenal stuff.

Person of the year:

I did this last year, right? But everyone’s been so terrible this year!

Who did I choose last year? Rilakkuma? Fine - keep the crown, RK. No public figure has been better than a lazy cartoon bear. It’s yours indefinitely, until the world gets good again.