#which is what makes this so frustrating! because i feel irrational! i feel like i'm being too self-centered in my fear!

[irisbaggins]

Not going to actually tag this with his name, this is mostly for y'all following me and for my own piece of mind, but:

I cannot express how horrified I was when I watched Harris's video. How I felt like somebody had doused me in cold water, how reality slapped me in the face. I had, in my relief of finally submitting my thesis, forgotten plagiarists existed. Specifically, people who hunt down Bachelor papers to use because they're made by students, because we're oftentimes not actively looking up the topic of our thesis anymore. I spent a ridiculous amount of time googling my own topic to check if something may have happened, paranoid it might have happened. And, in hindsight, I know why I did it, even if back then it may have felt irrational; because I fought tooth and nail to finish that paper, to write it and submit it and pass it. I poured blood, sweat, and tears into it, and the possibility of somebody just stealing that felt infuriating. They just took the easy road whilst I laboured to get it done despite everything trying to stop me. That idea infuriated me, and it still does. I still feel that rage at the mere thought.

I just. I cannot understand anyone who thinks plagiarism "isn't a big deal". I don't understand the people defending this asshole for doing what he did, for telling us all that our feelings don't matter, that our work doesn't matter. I just. I feel so angry about all of this.

I also find it both ridiculously funny and blood-boiling infuriating that Norway is still having its own plagiarism scandals. Some of our elected officials are still being called out for it (one of them in our fucking education department!!), and still denying it! I cannot escape this shit, of being told that our concerns don't matter! Plagiarism is theft! What's so hard to understand about that?!

[yououghtaknow]

biting and killing and biting and killing

[lucifertoxics]

missing pieces: marcus lopez

| pairing: marcus lopez x reader

| genre: exes to lovers

| warnings: angst, swearing, minors dni

| word count: 1.3k

| aura's note: this fic is for @chericherilvr who has an obsession with marcus like, so girly this is for you, enjoy🫶🏻

[ BACK TO MASTERLIST ]

Ever since you and Marcus broke up, your only mechanism was singing. To say the least, you were actually good at it. That's when you found yourself with your schools band practicing a cover. Unfortunately for you, the rain started pouring soon after you finished, which forced you to stay under a bus stop.

Sadly, as you did not own a car, you had to call your brother, Billy. He said he'd pick you up, but that's when you saw Marcus car, probably a stolen one, pull up in front of the school.

The two of you dated for 3 years, until you decided to end it, without giving him any reason why. That was 5 months ago, until now, you haven't talked since. The only person that you didn't want to see right now, surely, the break up was a complicated one to say the least.

"Get in." He says. From the tone of his voice, you knew one thing, he was pissed.

"No fucking way!" You say in an annoyed voice, crossing your arms. You two are like magnets and you didn't want to be stuck in a small place with him. He was bad for you. He brings out the worst in you.

"Are you seriously going to stand out here?" He says with the same tone. Marcus knows that he is being irrational, but he can't help it. He's just mad and heartbroken right now, seeing you just makes it even worse. He hates you for breaking his heart, but he's not going to let you know that.

You roll your eyes, knowing that he has a point never the less. And you wanted to be home faster, so having an argument with him, wasn't useful. As you open the passanger door to get into the car, you look at him.

Marcus starts the car and pulls out of the bus stop, onto the road. He doesn't say anything, just drives. The windshield wipers make loud screeches as they fight to get the rain off the windshield. The heater blasts as it tries to warm up the car from the outside cold. The air makes the windshield foggy. Then suddenly, Marcus sights loudly and looks over at you. As you were looking outside the window, gathering your thoughts about what just happened.

Turning around to look at him, you decided to ask him. "What?" Looking at him with confused eyes.

Marcus just stays silent, he just stares at you, trying to gather his thoughts. You can see his anger and frustration written all over his face. He doesn't want to look at you, he doesn't wang to look at anything. He's just so angry. Finally, he breaks the silence with a blunt ask. "Why did you dump me?"

"Marcus..." You look at him and then out the window, sighting, trying to find a good way to answer his question. You hate this situation that you're in. This was not the right time to talk about the break up, not with him.

The classic answer, and the one that he didn't want to hear. He hated when things were "complicated". He hates uncertainty. He wanted an answer and he wanted it now. His grip on the steering wheel tightens as his anger builds up. "Jusf answer me, god fucking damn it!" He snaps a little at you. He doesn't like losing his cool, but he's already too far gone.

"Because i'm leaving for university..." You talk in a low tone, looking outside the window. "I got accepted into Harvard." You explain yourself to him, staring at him, hoping he understands your intentions.

Marcus felt an intense wave of jealousy wash over him as soon as you finish the sentence. He could never get into Harvard. He's not smart enough. He knows you are and that bothers him. He hates that he feels jealousy of you, but he can't help it. "So you dumped me because you got accepted into a stupid school?" He says completely ignoring the fact that you're going to Harvard.

"A stupid school? I got a full scholarship to that stupid school." You say in an annoyed tone whie looking at him, feeling that he doesn't care about your achievement. "You'll only be three hours away.." You say trying to find something positive in your departure.

"Oh three hours away, really?" Marcus says sarcastically trying to ignore the jealousy that's building up inside of him. "And i'm sure that this full scholarship is a huge achievement." He says mockingly. Marcus knows damn well the school isn't stupid and he knows how hard getting a full scholarship there is but it just pisses him off so he can't help but belittle your achievement.

"It is, Marcus! I didn't want to leave you...I didn't want to leave you in the first place. I was scared that this won't work, us, fuck i want this to work out cause i miss you." I explain myself to him on a calm tone, trying not to be affected by his words. Coming closer as you say the words "I miss you"

The words "I miss you" make him soften up, but only for a bit. He still doesn't know if he should forgive you or not, but hearing those words come out of your mouth makes his heart feel a little warmer. He slowly turns to look at you more. He reaches his hand over and places it on your thigh, giving you a gentle squeeze. Marcus likes to hide his emotions but that small act kind of gave him away.

"I missed you! You have no idea..." You lean your head on his shoulder as he drives. The truth is that you missed him. His kisses. His hugs. His affection, You were craving it.

Marcus blushes a bit as you put your head on his shoulder. He can barely believe he's allowing you to do these things. Maybe part of him is ready to forgive you...but another part of him is not. He stays silent as he continues driving, his hand firmly planted on your leg. He can't help his attraction towards you and his desire for you. The silence is getting more intense as the minutes go by.

"My brother said that long distance relationships don't always work out...so that's why i thought it's for the best...but it's only three hours..." You say sighting interlacing your fingers with his, still having your head on his shoulder.

Marcus wanted to argue and say that three hours is too much but he knows is his own jealousy getting the best of him. A small part of him, a very small part, has forgiven you for breaking his heart. He's not completely over it but he's slowly starting to terms with it. "You know, I could drive over and see your every weekend." He says finally, turning to look at you as he tries to gauge your reaction.

"Really? You would do that for me?" You look at him surprised, hy his answer. Jumping into his arms, hugging him tight, still surprised by what he said.

Marcus freezes up with surprise. He was honestly prepared for you to reject him, but now? This is...unexpected. He feels your tight embrace and a wave of butterflies washes over him. He wraps his arms around you, holding you even tighter. "You can't get rid of me that easily you know?" He says with a smile, brush a piece of hair out of your face.

"I don't wanna get rid of you." You smile, looking at him as he brushes the hair from your face. That's when you take his face in your hands, smashing your lips to his.

What was once a small wave of butterflies now turns into a tidal wave of euphoria. Marcus is swept away by the kiss, he wraps his arms arouns you and pulls you in closer. All the emotions and feelings that have built up during the car ride come bursting to the surface. He kisses you hard and agressively, like he wants to make this moment last forever.

© LUCIFERTOXICS ⎯ do not translate, plagiarise or claim any of my works as your own.

[teaboot]

Hi! (just a personal ask. Sorry if it's not okay to ask for advice out of nowhere but I wanted to see an outer perspective and didn't wanna ask my friends. No pressure to answer of course but I would love to hear your thoughts!)

Is it normal for me to feel overwhelmed about something I want? I am just starting med school and it's a lot but I am fighting. And in my culture, parents buy their daughters their like things?? (like towels and bed sheets and a fridge. Anything they can buy except the apartment basically) for marriage from a young age. But my mom just started recently. And when she first bought me something. The idea of getting married & being a doctor (both things I want) felt like too much I teared up. My mom said I was being spoilers I guess?? Like I was ruining a good moment? Of course it is not that serious since I wasn't outright crying, and I just laughed afterwards as I felt silly lol ,but It got me thinking if I was being that dramatic.

This honestly felt like the moment in the movie where the mom hugs her daughter and says something like "oh how much you've grown" . Her retort felt like it was out of the script.

If you find time to answer, please be extremely blunt. Because I know for a fact I have a tendency to exaggerate things.

You are not overreacting. You are not exagerrating things. And I'm going to tell you this, because I experience this, the tendency to downplay your own feelings and recollections of events very often comes from having other people do it to you first. People tell you your feelings are wrong, or stupid, or irrational, and you learn to listen to them instead of yourself.

It makes complete sense that coming up on a major cultural milestone would make you feel excited, or scared, or overwhelmed. It sounds like you came upon the first step of a very big change and the reality of it all hit you at once, which sounds completely normal and expected!

Fuck, *I* used to get that about moving houses, and YOU'RE expecting shit like marriage? Holy fuck! I'd be a complete mess! The fact that you're level-headed enough to ask questions and process your feelings and talk things through is impressive, because I think I'd be losing my mind.

Personal story, but when I turned 17, my mom asked me if I wanted to go to a restaurant to celebrate. When I told her that it sounded nice, but I'd rather have dinner at home with the family, she told me I was a selfish narcissist, and that I was so busy thinking of myself that I didn't consider that other people might have been excited to go out.

At the time, I thought she'd been harsh but ultimately correct.

Now, I see that she had decided what kind of perfect evening she had wanted, and had expected me to play the part in the movie she had written herself. It had never been about what I wanted at all- it had been about her personal desires and expectations.

And it's normal to feel frustrated about things that don't go the way we want or expect, but lashing out at others is not an appropriate way to handle those emotions.

The way we feel cannot be controlled like a machine. The way we feel is usually not a problem. The problem is what we do, and the choices we make based on those feelings.

Children throw tantrums and sat mean things because they haven't learned better yet. They don't have the practice or experience. Adults like your mother and mine should have that on lock, but often don't, especially if culture or tradition or social expectations tell them their actions are justified.

If I had to take take guess, I'd say it sounds like your mom gave you this gift with an idea in mind of how she wanted you to react. She probably wanted you to be grateful and praising and sweet, so she could fulfill the role she envisioned for herself, and when you deviated from that picture, she was disappointed. From that perspective, it would seem that she felt slighted, and that she was owed your gratitude, and you were at fault for withholding it.

This perspective makes sense, in an emotionally immature sort of way, but would completely overlook your feelings, which are just as important.

Your exact situation is not one I've been in before, but if I'm correct in my assumptions (which I may not be) then I'd suggest keeping an eye out for other instances of your perspective and feelings being minimized.

Are you often told you are behaving irrationally? That you're over-emotional? That you're self-centered or greedy or entitled? Are you told that you don't remember things or do things as you're told? That you see problems where there aren't any? That you male trouble where there is none? That certain conversations aren't worth having, or that "you're always like this"?

It sounds like you know that something is off. I'd encourage you to keep asking questions and follow your instincts. At the end of the day, your life is your own, no matter where it came from.

[schildpadkneus]

Since there is a lot of misinformation when it comes to the "incident" that got Joost Klein disqualified I figured I'd put a post out with information from actual news outlets and not speculations from social media users.

If you are too lazy to read everything, here's a summary of everything I've been able to find:

After his performance in the semi finale, Joost was filmed despite agreements he wouldn't be.

The camera woman did not listen when he asked her to stop several times.

Joost got angry and made the camera woman in question feel so threatened the police was called on Joost.

Despite what fans think, it was confirmed by Dutch commentator Cornald Maas that the Israeli act and their delegation were not involved. I understand the frustration with their participation and I ranted about their disgusting behaviour at Eurovision here, but they were not involved with this incident.

He did not hit or even touch the woman involved.

Nor did she make any remarks about his parents.

STOP SPREADING MISINFORMATION.

Continue to read for more details.

Edited only for later addition (as indicated) and slightly changed the wording because I was rambling in the initial post.

According to Avrotros (the Dutch broadcaster of Eurovision), Joost had made a threatening motion towards the woman.

According to the Swedish Aftonbladet, multiple witnesses say he behaved very aggressively and damaged/broke(?) the camera.

The rest of this will be speculating. Hopefully as unbiased as possible.

Based on other interviews and discussions about the incident in Dutch media, it sounds like Joost was probably just very overwhelmed. It is reasonable to think the artists are under a lot of pressure to perform well, and it's fair to conclude the controversy of Israel's participation has only added to artists' frustration and the pressure. Add the whole aspect of this being Joost's childhood dream and the passing of his parents and the fact he had already complained about the many many rules of eurovision and you get this explosion of emotions and frustrations. Apparently he also gets very emotional during the outro, and I imagine such a performance does come with loads of adrenaline.

Considering that nice little cocktail of stress, frustrations, emotions and adrenaline, it is likely he just snapped. He was already on the edge, and then the employee filmed him when he didn't want to be filmed and didn't back off when he asked her to, so he did something stupid and irrational.

That is a human response, I don't think he's a bad person for that, I just think he did something stupid in the heat of the moment. If it was something really bad he would've been arrested and locked up, so I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. That does not mean he should go unpunished, however.

Whatever he did, he made this photographer/camera woman (sources alternate between which one it was) feel so threatened the police got involved. I trust this judgement.

Don't get me wrong, I do think she should have stopped filming when she was asked, but we don't know the full story here. She could have misunderstood the situation, maybe she was unaware of the agreement she should not have been filming him, maybe it was just a stupid mistake.

Regardless of what truly happened, I hope we can all agree both were in the wrong but both have also been punished enough now.

The employee in question should not have been filming in the first place and stopped when asked.

Joost should not have done whatever it was he did.

For the love of god, please stop meddling in situations we know virtually nothing about and definitely stop taking sides. It is never ok to wish horrible things upon anyone.

We don't know what happened and chances are we will never fully know. We don't even know any of these people, we don't know what they are like, we only have little bits and pieces.

I also really want to know but it's not that difficult to just shut up and not say anything in favour of or against anyone until we have more details. You can condemn people for their actions but not when we don't even know what those actions were.

They both should have been punished and they both were.

A bunch of you should have been punished for the vile things I've seen you spout about Joost or this poor woman.

Basic fucking decency and common sense is not that difficult.

Later addition: (I've calmed down a bit)

I posted this about an hour ago but I want to add I do support Joost and feel bad for him but if it is true he punched and broke a camera it disqualification was not an unreasonable punishment. The awful rumours were just an unnecessary kick in the stomach.

If it turns out he did not damage the camera I will happily eat my words.

It is a pity he did not perform in the grand finale considering the huge potential it had but we can't excuse that behaviour. I hope he learns from this situation enough to prevent himself from getting in more trouble.

This does not mean I support the ebu btw <3 fuck the ebu

[lawrites]

Not Worthy

Oswald Cobblepot x Plus Size! Gender Neutral! Reader

Short drabble about Ozzie telling Plus Size reader to buy something pretty at the "expensive" shops and them not being able to find anything. Hurt/comfort, very cute at the end <3. This was made for a swap with @acapelladitty :)

CW: slightly suggestive, reader has down thoughts about their body

“Get yourself something pretty, sweetheart. Something expensive, at the good stores in Gotham. Then come back and show it off for me. That's all you have to do, and I'll treat you real nice after.”

Oz had given you a winning smile this morning as he held out his Centurion Card, gesturing for you to come closer. His arms had snaked around you, bringing you onto his lap and making the both of you laugh at your uncoordinated landing. He had given you a gentle kiss, cupping your cheek after you separated for just a moment before telling you to “get going” with a wink. 

You felt so warm and happy then. It sucks that your day and mood have both been ruined, now. You wonder if you can sneak into Ozzie’s Manor and somehow avoid him seeing you with no bags full of new clothes. Oswald loves you, truly, and he's attracted to your body with its curves and rolls, your stretch marks, your tummy. But…that doesn't change how society, especially high society, views you. 

Every high end boutique you had entered, every one, had glared at you like you were beneath them. While you are used to it at your size, it's still grueling and makes every shopping trip harder, mentally. And the cherry on top was being able to find maybe two garments in the entire 5 hour shopping trip that would have fit you across all the stores you visited…and they were boxy and frilly and looked like a grandmother would wear them. 

You're, again, used to this. Being fat means you have to sometimes be more practical about shopping than you would like. But you guess you just are under more pressure with Ozzie being so sweet and giving you his card. You feel like you've disappointed him. Ever since you decided to give up, telling your driver to take you home, your brain has been racing with awful thoughts. A small part of you knows they are irrational, but the rest of you is just dejected, frustrated, and tired of having to go through this again. 

Yeah, why would you have thought they would have anything in your size to begin with?

Did you see how those people at the store looked at you? Like you were something they could smell?

Ozzie is gonna notice you came back with nothing, ask why, and then break up with you, because he will finally have realized how he's completely out of your league.

The last thought makes you choke out a sob as you try to sneak through the front foyer of Ozzie's Manor. And you cringe as you hear his voice yell out in answer, “Sweetheart? Is that you? Why didn't you tell me you were home?” You hear his footsteps as he makes his way from the living room to your location, and you feel panicked trying to figure out what to do…so you freeze. 

You see Ozzie’s face as he turns the corner, going from teasing excitement to worry instantly. “Dove?”

Your heart sinks to your stomach, and you blurt out, “I'm sorry, Ozzie. I wasn't able to find anything,” while placing his card on the side table next to you. Your arms wrap around yourself, turning your back to him so he can't see your belly. “I-I think I'm too big. I can't wear those p-pretty clothes that you want me to get. I'm a disappointment.”

You try to hold in your sobs, but your body physically shakes with your anxiety which keeps you from disguising them. It is silent…for a moment. Then, you hear his footsteps again. “Angel?”

Shaking your head, knowing he wants you to turn around, you refuse. But you feel a warm hand on your shoulder. “Angel, c’mere.” 

The hand turns you, and you decide to let it, finding yourself enveloped in the warmth of Oz’s embrace, taking in his comforting smell. Another sob and shake forces its way out of you, and his hands gently stroke your back and run through your hair, trying to comfort you. 

Oh great, now he can feel your back rolls.

Ok, that comment from the bitch that lives in your brain was so out of left field that it brings you back to reality. Ozzie is also helping, as he is actively hugging you and even humming out a soft tune in his low voice. You sniff, pulling back and looking at Oz. 

“Oh, I'm sorry for getting snot on your shirt. I guess I can't do anything right.”

Oz just chuckles and puts one hand under your chin. “Dove, I don't care. I want to know what shops turned you away and treated you like this.” His face morphs from a gentle smile into a dangerous grimace. He looks murderous, “I'm going to burn them down.”

You shake your head, “No! No! You don't understand…I went to the nice shops downtown like you said and…they didn't necessarily turn me away, I just couldn't find anything that could fit. I-it’s my fault.”

A barking laugh makes its way out of Oz, and you feel your heart break, for just a moment, before he apologizes and pulls you to him again. “Sweetheart, please take this the right way…but those aren't the nice shops. Of course they wouldn't have anything for the likes of you, I wouldn't let them dress you if you wanted to change out the oil in your car.”

You are confused, now. Looking up at him, you sniff. “W-what? So…what shops do you mean?”

Oz puffs up his chest, “I suppose I'll have to take you to them myself. They are very exclusive, and only the elite in Gotham frequent them.” He winks, “God I can't believe you went to those awful shops downtown. They can't afford the fabrics I want to drape your perfect body in.”

His hand traces down your side, landing on your hip, “And yes, you're big, but I fucking love it, sweetheart. It may take more of that expensive fabric to make something worthy of you…” The hand grips into the flesh on your side, making your breath catch, “...but I get to show off how gorgeous you are and how wealthy I am in one fell swoop. What's not to love?”

With a teasing grin, he gently reaches out to cup your face again, making you give him a gentle smile in return. “There's my Dove.”

He brings your face to his chest, running his hand through your hair again while you practically melt against him, comforted and at ease.

[luveline]

hi!! hope you’re doing well and having a fantastic december so far <3 do you think maybe you would write something with James where the reader has always kind of been in toxic relationships where sex was the only way to move on from or get past a fight, and he like kind of rejects that and tries to (super gently and kindly) teach her how to talk about it in a healthy way and work through it together? i just think it could be cute :) ily!

hi! tysm, i hope you are too, ily <3 i think i focused in on the wrong thing but i hope you like it anyhow!!! cw past unhealthy relationships + conversation about sex 18+ mdni ♥︎ fem!reader 1.5k

James is practically radiating anger across the room. You can tell he's trying not to show it.

You're angry too, of course, but you're more scared than anything. Not of James (he'd probably rather die than hurt you, and you know that) but of the possibility that you might break up. 

It feels irrational and rational at once. He'd sounded so mad. He'd sounded hurt, which was worse. You'd made a snarky comment you now regret about his never being home because he's always at training, and he'd argued how this wasn't fair because rugby was literally his job, and you'd said it wasn't fair that you never saw him. So on and so forth, the argument had devolved into your saying stuff you didn't explicitly mean, backed into a corner, and James being upset because of it. You'd said… a lot of stuff that wasn't really true, and you'd accused James of not caring about you. 

That's what blew his top. 

You understand why he's mad about it. If he said the same to you, you'd be livid. But you don't really know how to fix it. 

Well, you do. Though James isn't looking at you like they would, no expectancy, no Well, aren't you going to say sorry? 

He's stationed himself on the sofa, elbows to his knees and facing the floor. While his anger is slipping, hurt and frustration are evident in his hunched posture. You stand up from the arm opposite where you'd been perched and take the few steps needed to close the distance, sitting primly by James' side. 

He's kind. He turns to look at you as soon as you settle, and it's with an openness that makes your mouth dry. In your head, you're thinking that this is more than salvageable, that James will fuck you and forgive you and that if you do a good enough job, he'll spend more time with you during the week. 

You put your hand on his knee, feeling the slightly tensed muscles underneath. 

"Jamie," you murmur, one part apologetic, one part something else, "I'm sorry." 

He holds your eye and then sighs inaudibly. 

You keep talking. You don't want him to get mad again, or impatient. "Really sorry, and…" Your hand inches upward. "I can make it up to you." 

He stiffens ever so slightly. You really hate that, unsure and unhappy and thinking maybe you can't fix anything after all. You pull your hand away, worried you've made him uncomfortable. He must see the flash of concern on your face as he sits up properly. 

"Sorry," you mumble, eyes on his leg. "I thought…" 

"That we would kiss and make up?" 

His sudden response startles you, but James doesn't sound as mad as you'd imagined. "No," you say quickly, although that is exactly what you'd thought. "No, but I- I-" 

You flounder for the right thing to say, embarrassed beyond words with the beginnings of panicked tears in your eyes. 

James' hand is warm as he places it on your shoulder, and his expression much softer than it had been. 

"Is that something you've done before?" he asks. 

"You don't want to?"

He can likely hear how mortified you are. His hand climbs to the curve of your neck as he shifts toward you, his knee pressed into yours. 

You perk up and immediately realise you've read the signs wrong again. James isn't going to kiss you. He's letting you down easy, which means he doesn't want to make up. 

You backtrack hard. "James- I swear, I'm sorry, and I won't- I won't complain again. I know you have to go, and I know it's selfish to expect you not to. I won't mention it again." 

You drift off, hoping he has something to say. 

He stares at you for a beat that's too long. 

"Sweetheart," he says finally, so softly, "back up a second, okay? I'm just trying to understand here. Did you think you had to have sex with me to say sorry?" 

You wince and lean away.

"Because you don't have to. Ever." 

You didn't think you had to have sex, but you're out of your depth here. You don't really know where to go from this point. "I know," you say weakly.

"Do you?" James asks, offering you his hand palm up over your thigh.

You take it like a lifeline. 

"I don't think that it's a good solution to our problem," he says. 

"What's our problem?" 

"We're not on the same page." 

You have never felt this awkward around James. To read the signs so wrong, to come onto him when he doesn't want it. "I'm sorry, for trying to-" 

He squeezes your fingers. "Hey, don't be. Is it okay if I talk for a little bit?" You nod stiffly. "Alright… I'm not sure what you've- what's happened before, but I want to say that you don’t have to feel like you need to apologise in that way with me, because it should be on your terms completely, always. You know?" He weighs your expression. He can't find what he's looking for, because he continues. "With us, I don't want sex to be a kind of," — he searches for the right word — "currency. I don't want that for you." Again, his voice turns soft as silk. He massages your fingers with his lovingly. "Understand?" 

"Yeah, I understand." 

His eyebrows pull together. "I'm not mad at you, angel. It was a misunderstanding." 

"I feel so-" Silly. Icky, immature. You shake your head. "I'm sorry." 

You're still trying to soak in what he's said. He doesn't need sex to know you're sorry. It takes a second, but you realise how nice that feels.

"It's okay, you don't have to be sorry. I just needed to make sure you knew. We might be fighting but you're still my girl, right?" 

Your throat aches as you say, "Right." 

He leans in a little closer. His voice quietens. "I'm sorry someone made you feel like you had to do that, sweetheart. Really. There are better ways to work through it." 

Tears come on so suddenly they're dripping off your jaw before you comprehend that you're crying at all, heavy teardrops that bump down your cheeks fiercely. 

James is as surprised as you to see them, and he proves to you how big his heart is for the second time in as many minutes when he starts wiping and kissing away your tears, placating you with little murmurs and reassurances. 

"It's okay," he says quietly, hand splayed behind your neck. 

You hide away in his neck. Embarrassment rolls hot over your skin and still you can't get the tears to stop. This is possibly the most whirlwind you've ever been in front of him, and you know how lucky you are to be treated so delicately through it all. 

"I'm sorry," you say again, thick with tears and genuinely appalled by your inability to stop crying. 

"Don't be sorry, my love," he says, quiet still. 

"I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." 

He scrubs his hand up and down your arm. "You didn't. I was more surprised than anything. I think… all the best make up sex comes after the making up, yeah? When we're both happy, and when we both want it because we want each other. Not because you feel like you need to." 

You mean to say thank you, but "I love you," comes out instead, all sniffly and scratchy. 

"I love you, too. You know that." 

You're lucky enough to say that you do. James surprises you, as that is by no means the end of the conversation. He talks about things you should've talked about a while ago, and he makes a lot of things clear. That sex isn't something you ever have to do. Not to make up, not because you owe him anything, and not because you think it's expected. And all these things are normal — they're, as James says, the bare minimum, but he doesn't understand. They may sound like the bare minimum to some, but you've never actually had them before. He apologises for that, too. 

And after, you talk about the argument. James tries to express his frustration, how he'd only been trying to resolve the issue, and you're gutted when you understand. You'd let insecurity guide you and you'd exacerbated the fight. Made it something that it wasn't. 

James assures you that it's okay. 

"I said stuff I didn't mean as well," he says. "Everybody does that." 

You talk it out. When you do have make up sex, it's much later, and it's because you want to. James must ask "Are you sure?" twenty times, and he insists on being able to see your face. You don't mind. 

He's right. All the best make up sex does come after the making up, not in place of it. 

—

to clarify this isn't me dogging on all make up sex, just in situations where the reader felt like she had to because it was the only way to make up, as requested <3

[devildom-moss]

Could you write some headcannons of how the brothers would react to MC having absolutely none of their sin in them? I've seen headcannons of if MC being full of their sin, but not the latter.

So i was hoping if you could write something about that, thank you.

Sincerely, 💜

Thank you for the request~ This was kind of fun to think about and I hope you'll enjoy the headcanons. And I'm going to refer to you as "💜anon" in the tags, okay?

MC without the brother’s sins (the reactions are only them reacting to your lack of their personal sin)

(suggestive for Asmo)

Lucifer

It didn’t take long for Lucifer to notice your lack of his sin. The more he took a liking to you, the more desperate he became to crush your humility. It’s frustrating for him. He can’t bring himself to understand why you don’t feel the same pride in yourself that he feels for you. The most painful moment for him was when you failed to brag to Solomon about forming a pact with him; no one had ever made a pact with Lucifer – let alone with all seven of the brothers. He was so proud of you, and it was such an accomplishment, but you deflected the compliments, claiming that you had the help of the other brothers along the way.

“I couldn’t have formed a pact with you without the help of your brothers,” you had admitted to Lucifer once. It broke his heart.

Why can’t you understand that so many of the good things that have happened to him (and the Devildom as a whole) are all because of you? Haven’t you earned a bit of pride? Sometimes, although he hides it well, your lack of his sin makes Lucifer feel guilty. If you of all people can’t be prideful, what right does he have?

Mammon

Your lack of greed confounds Mammon. What isn’t to love about gold and luxury goods? There are so many material things to desire – how could you not want it all?

It took Mammon a while to realize that you had so little of his sin in you. He’s used to his brothers not taking an interest in his money making schemes, but you’re on a different level. You never actively seek out more money or power than you need. Even though he doesn’t understand how or why you’re like that, he accepts it without judgment. The only time it bothers him is when he gets the urge to spoil you with gifts that you don’t need or particularly desire. It’s part of how he shows love, and the fact that you can’t appreciate him sharing his wealth as much you might if you contained just a bit of greed can be hard for him, but as long as he can find some way to express his affection without having to actually say it, it doesn’t matter too much.

Leviathan

Your lack of envy compounds Leviathan’s envy. How could you be so content with yourself? He understands it in a way; you’re so amazing to him. As much as he admires you and doesn’t want you to feel jealousy as deeply as he does, he also wants what you have, and the fact that he can’t get rid of his sin breaks him. It feels so unfair. On occasion, Levi wishes he could bring out your envy somehow – which only makes him feel guilty.

Being around an MC without envy can send Levi into a spiral. You can make him so insecure and guilty that he gets down on himself even more. At the same time, your lack of sin also makes him want you more – as if your lack of jealousy could ease his. After all, if someone like you, who is so good and content, can enjoy being around him, maybe he isn’t so bad. Maybe if he can keep you by his side, he’ll have one less thing to covet.

Satan

Satan feels hurt and misunderstood by your lack of his sin. Even when you feel anger, it doesn’t shift into wrath. How could you be so forgiving? Don’t you ever feel the need for vengeance? The rage that rests in Satan, just waiting to erupt and harm whoever gets in his path, starts to feel irrational and invalid – as if Satan has no right to his innate sin. He didn’t used to feel ashamed of his outburst or acts of vengeance before you. Regardless of how much wrath you have, Satan wants to do better and control his wrath for you, but an MC completely void of his sin furthers that desire.

On the other hand, Satan worries that your lack of wrath might mean that someone can hurt you and get away with it. As such, he quietly dedicates himself to having enough wrath for the both of you. If anyone harms you, he’ll take it into his own hands. He may not want to unleash his wrath around you, but he’s pleased to unleash it for you.

Asmodeus

It hurt Asmo when he realized you weren’t expressing any lust towards him; he took it personally, but when he realized you didn’t feel lust for anyone else, it made him feel better. He still wants to be close to you, and on occasion, he’ll try to seduce you just to see whether you still don’t feel any lust towards him. If you ask him to stop, he will, though. He doesn’t feel any resentment towards you, and he doesn’t feel particularly bad about himself over your lack of his sin. He understands that you’re just different.

The one thing that he does feel guilty about is how much he fantasizes about corrupting you. Even though he understands that will probably never happen, he keeps that wicked thought deep in his chest and just tries to show you love in the ways you accept from him. As much as he tries to control himself, he occasionally touches himself to the thought of you, moaning your name some nights. He would be mortified if you found out – horrified that you would cease to love him if you knew.

Beelzebub

Beel’s gluttony primarily manifests through his obsession with and adoration for food. It’s so central to him, so it makes him sad that you don’t enjoy food the same way he does. He wants to share food with you and allow you to overindulge with him, but the fact that you never indulge in excess disappoints him. However, he’s used to his unsatisfiable hunger being misunderstood by everyone – including his family. Beel isn’t hurt by your inability to be a glutton with him. He still offers you food, hoping deep down that he can tempt you into overindulgence in the way most familiar to him. Sometimes, especially when he has had a rough day, refusing food from him causes the smallest pout to find his lips.

After food, the only other vice Beel would prioritize to a point of gluttony is his love for you. You make him feel so good – better than a good meal on an empty stomach – and when he craves you, he wants to take and take and take. The thought that you may not crave him and need him as deeply as he wants you can hurt him. He knows that part of the depth of his desire is a symptom of his sin, but he can’t understand how something as beautiful as loving you in excess could be sinful.

Belphegor

Belphie worries about you, wondering if your lack of sloth also means you don’t rest when you should. A healthy relationship with rest is difficult for him to fathom – and who could blame him when his siblings aren’t the best at maintaining a good sleep schedule (they’re all guilty of staying up too late, waking up in the middle of the night, or not resting when they’re tired). Furthermore, he doesn’t understand how you could consistently find motivation and stave off the melancholy that plagues him. However, he takes joy in trying to tempt you to indulge in his sin a bit – to just do nothing and have no desire to do anything and just lay in bed, lazing around with him.

More than anything, though, he’s really happy you don’t have much – if any – of his sin in you. The constant exhaustion and the occasional deep pits of immobilizing emptiness are things he would rather you never experience. He’s especially fond of the moments where your lack of sloth means he can fall asleep in your arms or on your lap while you work or read – the moments where you enable him to rest well. He’s also overjoyed when your ability to get up in the morning means you’re the one waking him up for school or whatever plans he has that day. Seeing your face as soon as his eyes open from a good night’s sleep is worth so much more than you two understanding his sin in the same way.

[mhsdatgo]

To the point about Rhaenyra being boring, it continues to elude me why the producers, writers, and directors decided they needed to humanize Rhaenyra by downplaying if not outright removing her worst traits. That’s not humanizing, that’s sanitizing.

There are plenty of female characters that exist in fiction who are frustrating to morally ambiguous, to completely evil but still have their fans and are beloved, or at the very least compelling. The comparisons to Shiv Roy from Succession already exist, so I won’t belabor that point, but look at other shows like Mr. Robot, Better Call Saul, and if anyone really wants to press the button for feminism: The Handmaid’s Tale. Those shows have incredibly well-written female characters that aren’t necessarily paragons.

House of the Dragon choosing to center Rhaenyra as the protagonist as opposed to making her part of a true ensemble a la the original Game of Thrones wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. The narrative decision to frame her as heroic (as far as S1 is concerned) is how we get the ‘Protagonist Centered Morality/Unreliable Narrator’ trope that results in plenty of media literate fans that are either neutral or Green-leaning who feel frustrated that there’s not an equal balance between characters.

Perfectly put together, anon. I'm sorry I answered so late. -_-

There's nothing wrong with characters that are written to be good people, but you see, that only works when said character is written consistently and somewhat realistically. Something that the writers completely didn't do in Rhaenyra's case. Are you going to tell me I'm supposed to watch her go through Visenya's traumatic birth, which by the way, happened so quickly after learning that her father was dead, keep her calm, and find it believable?

There is no sense of reason when it comes to grief. None. When someone close to you is gone, you check out. They take a part of your mind away with them and sometimes you don't even realize it. Especially if it's as horrid, as painful and helpless as what Rhaenyra went through. I am not going to sit here and blame the Greens for that baby's death, for all we know of her she had dragon features and was 100% going to die either way. That is digestible for us viewers/readers, who have no connection for a baby mentioned in a few lines.

But Rhaenyra's her mother. And rightfully, when she loses her this way, she goes mad with grief. She wants someone to blame, she cannot cope with the idea that there is no one to blame in this situation, that it would've happened either way. So she blames her enemies, the Greens. She isn't right, but she isn't even sane anymore, she's just had a stillbirth, how can you expect her to think before she speaks?

But the show strips her completely of this anger, and makes her push for peace. Is it possible that not even THAT can make this perfect angel Qween lose her temper like any human would? I understand wanting to rid her of any sin so she looks like a Saint, but really, where's the flaw in being angry and irrational after your stillbirth?

I never liked Rhaenyra as a person but I was looking forward (I'm STILL looking forward lol) to the role she will play as a character, a literary device, a tool to tell a story. I'm not saying I hope they bring out the worst of her this season so more people have reasons to hate women and feel justified for it, but LET HER BE RIGHTFULLY ANGRY. I'M BEGGING YOU.

People will always choose and be more obsessed with the evil but interesting one, not the one who's got more morals. It's already been said in a post I saw not so long ago, but Luke shouldn't be winning polls for best character against OTTO HIGHTOWER of all people because we choose morality in none other than a world like ASOIAF. Please give characters nuance. There's so much potential they got lazy with using timeskips etc. already.

[lollytea]

Up until a month back I liked a guy. And I really liked him. But I found out he didn't like me back. I was really upset, but I didn't want to hold it against him, but then I found out he had a reputation of being a player (which, at our age of 14 is flirtatiously texting girls and then just. Ghosting them).

And I felt really upset. I began to question if he even saw me as a friend, and whether the way he texted me was even friendly. What if he secretly loathed me and was just doing this to get a kick out of it? What if he knew about my feelings and they were just a joke to him?

I wanted to cry, but I told my friends and my sister I was okay. But I wanted to scream. Its not my fault I was born ugly. It's not my fault my face makes me unlovable. And even though I wanted to distance myself from him I felt some sort of perverse pleasure every time he did something embarrassing in front of every one.) And that's when I think it hit me.

That's why I'm unlovable. I am unlovable because I'm a terrible person. My friends tried to comfort me saying that he's a shitty person who can't see my beauty/cuteness, but friends are obligated to say that. I wanted to believe them because they're all so beautiful, and they would never lie to me because they love me. But they deserve a better friend than me.

I want to cry because I want to experience having a whirlwind romance, and falling in love. I also know I'll probably never have that.

And AGH I feel so upset. Because all my life I've known I was ugly. But when this guy showed me attention, was nice to me, it made me feel special. Made me feel like I was having my own romance.

I hate it I hate it I hate it. I hate that I can't be loved, I hate my face, I hate myself for feeling these things. Last year when I suspected I began liking him, I told myself not to fall too deep, and here I am, ranting to you on tumblr dot com.

Lollytea, I love your writing and I love your posts. I love how confident you are of yourself. I'm very sorry for ranting in your inbox about my shitty love life, if this makes you uncomfortable, please delete it. But if you don't, I genuinely would like some encouragement. That my time for my own romance will come. That I will learn to love this face.

You're not unlovable. You're just 14. It just happens that being 14 feels a lot like being chronically unlovable. But no, that is not actually the case.

Maybe you've heard this a lot. And I imagine that it must be frustrating to listen to. That being a teenager just means your emotions are bigger and more intense than they will ever be in your entire life, so they're irrational and silly.

That's not the case either. Your feelings matter. And they're worth being listened to. But I do need you to keep in mind that the age range you're in right now is one of the most difficult periods of time that a human being will ever go through. Being a teenager is very hard. Being an adult is hard too. But me and every adult I've ever met would not trade it for being 14 again. No way in hell.

It does severely influence how you see yourself and why your emotions feel so strong and messy and all over the place. But I assure you that you're doing a fantastic job for a person in your situation. It's rough and you're getting through it and I'm proud of you.

Firstly, I'm going to say this quite bluntly but dont take it as me insulting them. Most of the boys in your class probably aren't that smart. And they are the absolute worst people to be seeking validation from. I promise that their opinion of you is not worth worrying about because they are...stupid, frankly. They won't be stupid forever. Probably. But being 14 is a weird age for boys too and they're quite mean for a while before they mature and chill tf out. Please try not to let it get to you if one of them doesn't like you romantically. I promise you it is not remotely a big deal. None of them have any idea how to be good boyfriends yet anyway.

No, you're not unlovable for occasionally having spiteful little thoughts about somebody who was mean to you. Everybody has those every once in a while. As long as you maintain some self-awareness and don't let cruelty consume your whole brain, having a few mean thoughts doesn't make you a terrible person. What WOULD make you a terrible person is external terrible behaviour. It's your actions that matter. So just be kind, alright? Be kind to your friends. Ignore the people you don't like but be civil. Don't hurt anyone. If you stick to all of this, you're golden. Considering that you already seem so self-critical of being a bit bitchy inside your own head, I think that's a promising sign than you won't do anything worse than that. I hope so anyway. Be kind, that's all you can do. Your friends love you. If you put your all into loving them in return, then you can have something so special.

You're not ugly, you're 14. Sorry, I'm getting a bit repetitive but I think it's relevant information to this whole situation. At the age you're at, your face is probably in this weird transitional period between child and adult so maybe that's why it might look "uglier" than usual to you. It might last a few more years but it won't look like that forever. I assure you that your face is beautiful because it's doing exactly what it's supposed to do. It's alright if you've felt ugly your whole life. The way you look at your own face is way more personal than the way you look at other people's faces. We don't really notice the flaws on others the way we notice our own. We're wired weird like that.

All I can say is hang tight. If you don't like your face then please try not to let it upset you that much. Your face hasn't fully developed yet. For the time being, you look exactly the way you're supposed to look and you're perfect. Let's see how it looks in a few years before we make any rash decisions about it being as ugly as you think it is.

Don't be hasty in the belief that you'll never find love and romance. I assure you that the age you're at is the absolute worst time to get a boyfriend and its perfectly okay if you don't experience it for another while. It's normal. You're fine. It's okay.

I know you want it. I know it sounds nice. And I promise that if its important to you, once you're older and the people you're interested in are a little smarter, you will have it.

I'm serious when I say that for the time being, focus on being a good friend. Focus on school. Focus on your own physical and mental health. Focus on your hobbies. Being wanted by 14 year old boys won't mean shit in the long run.

Things will be okay. You talk so much about how you'll be alone for the rest of your life. But your life has only just begun and you hardly know who you are yet. It's impossible to tell what will happen in the coming years. I promise that you'll be okay.

I know you came for me for reassurance but from that last paragraphs, I'm sure you're already smart enough to know the things I've told you. But I imagine that you just needed a second opinion. Take care, love.

[bestieriker]

i have thoughts about the pjo tv show but they might not be beloved... (long post, mostly just for myself but feel free to read my thoughts) (also lmk your thoughts! im curious if my experiences are universal) (also obv spoilers for ep8)

now i recognize i am watching this show through the lens of a much older person than i was when i read the books. percy is no longer older than me - he is now just a baby to me. and the actors are so young. so that might be the cause of some of my feelings. also i realize that a tv adaption is not going to be identical to the book. but what is tumblr if not a place to vent my frustrations, despite how irrational they may be?

i'll start with the good because there were some things i liked. i thought the actors mostly did a good job. the effects and sets and lighting and design was all very good, visually i think it was great. i like the gods i think theyre mostly well cast. I don't really have many problems with grover.

ok now lets talk about my frustrations. this isn't going to be super organized or logical. first of all, i had a problem with the characterization. most characters were actually not bad, but percy didn't really feel like percy to me. he seemed kinda darker? (whats he gonna be like when its dark!percy time??). like book percy obviously was not happy all the time, but he seemed light and he made jokes and he was a little goofier and i feel like in my mind he smiled more. tv percy kinda just seems sad all the time. and this might be a controversial take, but i feel like they gave some of percy's best traits to annabeth?? like annabeth was the one beefing with ares the most when he showed up. and a lot of the time she'd have a line that seemed so percy like!!! don't get me wrong - i love annabeth and the actress did a really great job! but i feel like she was kinda percy and annabeth at the same time in a way. i missed percy. also hades was different. they made hades fun which is cute but in the first book at least hes supposed to be kinda scary!!! i wasn't scared of hades at all. hades seems like he'd be a fun drinking buddy in this. those aren't the vibes hades should have, at least not at the first meeting.

ok next!!! where is the fun. pjo was such a fun series and i feel like the show has taken on more of a darker outlook! again i realize its a tv show and it was only an 8 ep run so they probably had time constraints, but i miss the fun little scenes that make the books such a fun read! like the "say hello to the poodle" scene ? or the scene where they're telling charon they died in a bathtub? and don't even get me started on the Crusty's bed scene. they just breezed right through that!!!

and thats another thing!!!! in the book they kept figuring things out while they were in the thick of it. which was fine!!! especially for percy - hes brand new to all of this, he has some knowledge but he makes mistakes because he's a kid and he is in a brand new world! and we get to see him and annabeth and grover get out of these tricky situations and figure things out!!! but in the show they know everything basically instantly. like the lotus casino or crustys scheme. i like seeing them make mistakes and fix it!! i don't think i was ever stressed watching this show (good stressed, like suspense stress) which i guess is in part because ive read the books but also because they were never in too terrible a position. and the kronos thing!!! percy knew right away. he was like oh word big pit? must be kronos. he did everything. like that is way too quick for early percy.

and then this is just me being nitpicky but i don't like how they changed things. like the luke betrayal reveal? where was the scorpion. that was so iconic and they just completely scrapped it! i thought it made luke's character kinda scary! like this guy fully just summoned a scorpion to kill percy. instead in the show hes like swinging at percy and percy manages to hurt him. i'm not scared of this luke. young percy, away from the sea, manages to hurt him? little annabeth scares him off? he runs away? ok big man try showing up again we won't be scared. idk it frustrates me.

one more thing before i wrap up the longest (and only) post i've made in ages. Sally Jackson using Medusa's head to turn gabe to stone was SO iconic. and what a great way for her to show us and the world and the gods how powerful she is. like she went from being sally jackson, mother and protector of percy (who was already pretty sick) to Sally Jackson, Capable of Basically Murder in a Super Cool Way!!!!!! i loved that. but in the show they just have gabe snooping and accidentally getting turned to stone? if i had never read the books and was watching this show with no knowledge of the books, i'd think it was just kinda a lazy way to wrap up a loose end. kinda felt like they took sally's power away (i know she divorced him but it doesn't really have the same gravitas).

ok i do have other thoughts but this is so long already and its bedtime. is it weird that i'm worried the younger cast might come across this? they probably won't care what i have to say but incase they do come across my super long post and read it (i would if i was 15 and starred in a show with a built in fanbase), i hope they take it with the biggest grain of salt. bc at the end of the day people like the show, its profitable (i assume), and i'm just a cranky old lady who doesn't like change. most of the changes i understand why they did it and i respect it. i'm just venting here. and you know what? if they release a second season (and third and fourth and fifth) i will be watching.

i guess i just wish they maybe had more episodes, or longer episodes, so they didn't have to rush it as much as (i felt) they did. overall it made people happy so who cares. have a good night tumblr.

[niki-phoria]

Hi, could I request a comfort Ni-ki fic where m!reader is struggling to catch up with the rest of the group and Ni-Ki helps him?

or

Ni-ki comfort fic where he stays up with m!reader to play some games, something like him holding reader while he plays through a tough level.

i need someone to make a gif of niki with the lollypop from the end of the latest en o'clock ep does anyone know what i'm talking about

he's so cute i love him there are literal stars in his eyes

pairing: niki x 8th member!male! reader (he/him pronouns) genre: fluff, comfort word count: 1.3k

includes: reader being insecure about his dancing, self doubt, supportive enha, blushy niki i am obsessed with blushy boys sorry but i make the rules

a/n: thank you for requesting !! i couldn't decide on which idea i wanted to write so i just combined them lol you literally read my mind i was thinking about how i wanted to write more niki fluff yesterday and then i got this ask lmao this idea was really cute, i hope you enjoy <33

requests open !! read my rules first

you curse under your breath as you lose count of the steps again. you bite your tongue in frustration as your choreographer sighs. although she’s trying to hide her frustration, you can see how she continues to grow more annoyed each time you have to repeat the steps. she glances back at you for a second before refocusing on the mirror in front of you and rolling the tension from her shoulders. “let’s just do it again, okay?” 

even without being able to see him looking at you in the reflection of the mirror you can feel niki’s eyes on you. you keep your gaze trained on your feet, mentally practicing the footwork once again. he’s standing on the other side of the room from you. his dancing is flawless - like it always is. you know it’s irrational, but it feels like you’re the only person struggling. like you’re dragging the team down. 

you repeat the steps once again. and again. and again. and again. you practice for so many hours that your shirt clings to your body because of the sweat by the time you finish. your hair is nearly dripping. everything feels uncomfortable. your sticky t-shirt, your too-thick sweatpants, the way your shoes dig into the heels of your feet, the burn in your throat from dehydration, your growing headache from the unforgiving studio lights above you. it adds to your irritation at yourself, fueling the flames of your insecurity. 

finally, your choreographer sighs, taking her hat off to push her bangs back. her once neatly tied bun is now a tangled ponytail laying on her back. “let’s stop for now,” she concludes, stopping the music. she grabs her water bottle, opening it as she continues. “good work today.” 

you wait for everyone else to filter out of the room before you finally lean down to take a swig of your own water. niki stays back with you, gesturing for you to sit down on the ground beside him. reluctantly, you obey. the dirty tile feels cool against your palms. “don’t push yourself too hard,” he whispers. “i’ll help you practice later if you really want to.” you remain silent, eyes completely focused on your water bottle. it feels lukewarm in your hands as you tilt the bottle back and forth, watching it swirl around inside of its plastic confines. 

niki’s gaze remains on you. he’s been looking at you all day. usually it would make you nervous; him staring at you. but today you’ve been so focused on your own shortcomings that you forget the boy who stole your heart as soon as you met him is watching you carefully. his eyes scan your face as if he’ll be able to read your mind if he tries hard enough. in some ways he can. your furrowed eyebrows and slight frown tell him everything you’re unable to vocally express. 

a knock at the door interrupts your one-sided staring contest. jungwon pokes his head in with a sympathetic smile, sunoo peeking over his shoulder from behind. “we’re heading home for the night. the car is ready if you’re coming.” 

niki nods, reaching over to grab your hand - a silent, but firm gesture. we're going home for the night. you're coming. we'll practice more tomorrow. “we’ll be right there.” he remains a quiet but welcome presence beside you as you grab your things, following jungwon and sunoo out of the studio. you lean against the car window. your swirling thoughts are kept at bay as jay reaches behind the seats through the car to pat your shoulder. 

“y/n?” niki slowly opens the door, slipping into your shared room. you sit up to look at him. he gives you a small smile as he walks over to sit down on the bed next to you. “you did your best today,” he whispers, reaching over to grab your hand. his thumb strokes against your knuckles as he intertwines your fingers. “everyone has off days. the choreography is hard. we all struggled with it. but you kept trying. that’s what’s important.” 

you move to look over at him. he leans down slightly to press his forehead against yours. his dark eyes stare into yours, somehow calming your anxieties about pulling the team down and easing your insecurities about yourself. “you really think so?” 

“i know so,” he hums, bringing his other hand up to your face. he strokes your cheek, leaning in to press a quick kiss against your cheek. you laugh at the ticklish feeling as he pulls away. “and the others do too. we love you. you could never disappoint us. or engene.” 

your lips quirk upwards into a small smile. you wrap your arms around niki, pulling him into a hug. he wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you closer. “thank you.” 

“anything for my boy,” he whispers. 

you savor the moment for as long as you can. it’s not often that niki is this affectionate with you - especially in the dorms when anyone could walk in at any time. he nuzzles his face into the crook of your neck, making you laugh as his hair tickles the skin. you can hear him stifle his own chuckle. “hey, you know what would make me feel better?” 

“hm?” the word is muffled against your shoulder. 

“beating you in mario kart.” 

niki pulls back, letting out a faux offended gasp. “i can’t believe this!” you bite back a laugh as he dramatically brings a hand up to his chest over his heart. “betrayed! by my own boyfriend!” 

you chuckle as you shake your head. niki breaks when you do, collapsing into a fit of laughter himself. you knock your shoulder into his as you stand up, holding out a hand for him. “come on, you big baby.” 

“but i’m your baby,” niki retorts. he lets you pull him up, following you out of the room. 

"unfortunately."

“you love it,” he teases. you playfully roll your eyes, shaking your head.

niki lets out a content sigh as you settle yourself in his lap. he grabs a controller, wrapping his arms around your waist and leaning his chin on your shoulder to see the tv screen from behind you. all of his worries disappear as you lean back against his chest and relax against him. you lean up to press a peck against his jawline, turning away before you notice the deep blush spreads across his face. he can hear jay and heeseung playfully arguing in the kitchen as they continue making dinner. 

as you wait for the game to begin, a realization dawns on him. sitting on the floor of your shared dorm with you in his lap and your friends surrounding you, he feels safe. it feels like home. like love. he’s in love with you. 

niki leans down to press a kiss against your shoulder, tightening his hold around you slightly. “i love you.” he whispers. though the words are barely audible you turn around immediately, staring at him with wide eyes. you both sit, staring at each other in shock for a few seconds before you smile brightly at him, pulling him into a sweet kiss. 

the moment is interrupted by sunghoon groaning as he lays onto the couch behind you. “you have a shared room for this,” he whines. you playfully roll your eyes as you pull away, pressing a final peck against niki’s lips.

“at least they have a reason to need a room,” jake teases, leaning over the edge of the couch. “it’s better than you can say.” 

"hey!" niki stifles a laugh as he hides his flushed face against your shoulder. sunghoon and jake's bickering drowns out any noise the tv is making, though none of you mind. you twist to look up at him with a small smile. when you finally begin the round he knows that he’s sure - he wouldn’t give this up for anything in the world.

[yellowcry]

Problem shared

It's been years. And they don't talk about Bruno. No matter how much Isabela wonders of what possibly made him run away without saying a word

@encantober-official prompt — Secret

Pedro-Alma swap au this timee

Talking about why she was so worried at the last night wasn't in Isabela's to-do list. But it wasn't like she had much place to go to. And even if the magical rooms were big, they only had so much space.

It's been years. What Isabela knew wasn't important. Nobody remembered anyway. They didn't talk about Bruno, he was a shame of the family. For not being strong enough. For leaving all this mess behind him. And even if it still was painful, even if Isabela was desperate to know, nobody would allow her. She knew she shouldn't know about thay one vison at all. It was a mere accident because she was too restless to stay in her bed. And nobody talked about it. Even if almost everyone knew. Abuelo was the one to ask. Luisa was present at the moment. And later her cousin (whom she had told about what she had heard) confirmed adults gossiped about it. Which only left Camilo and Mirabel. And with Camilo she wasn't even sure.

Of course, this all was a long time ago. Now they didn't talk about Bruno. And about that vision that was never found. Growing up, Isabela had wondered many times, what could there possibly be. The silent shadow of uncertainty grew behind her, heavy and static. Because Isabela wanted an answer but it wasn't here. They don't talk about Bruno after all. Everything was normal. Well, until yesterday (Isabela still can't believe Mirabel tried to ruin the party like this).

It didn't really mean anything. They didn't talk about Bruno and Isabela didn't talk about thay vision. Didn't even talk of how she knew it existed.

"Get out. I have to get ready." Isabela snarled. Today was her proposal, she was supposed to prepare, it was very important day. No time for some childish nonsense whatever Mirabel had imagined herself. Everything was good... There was nothing wrong. Nothing was ever wrong.

"Just tell me what's going on! Your big himbo won't dissapear!" Mirabel rolls her eyes. Did she have to be so damn annoying exactly today? It was as if she purposely was getting on Isabela's nerves.

The neirons heated, running agains the bottled anger. Isabela already was frustrated, Mirabel didn't have to fuck with her even more.

That's okay... Everything's fine... At least when she's married, Abuelo would probably leave all this irrational protectiveness to Mariano. This was always Isabela's point to marry despite the fact she didn't want to. Get some sense of isolation and so maybe Abuelo's focus would leave her for somebody else. Just maybe because Isabela knew damn well there weren't that many candidates. Camilo and Antonío were boys and Luisa was... well, Luisa. Which only left Dolores and Mirabel.

"Isa, just tell me what's going on? Is there something wrong with the magic?" Mirabel yapped, making Isabela roll her eyes. Couldn't she choose even worse time. "Your himbo won't dissapear if you just give a minute of your precious time."

"I don't want to marry him!" Isabela yelled, predator vines crawled around the room, thickening and swelling. 

Mirabel blinked, pulling away. Isabela's toe rubbed against the soil under fer feet. A low growl left her lips as she tried her best to contain herself. "I just want for Abuelo to stop treating me like a toddler."

There was the root of the problem. As much as she loved her family, this helicopter parenting did annoy her. Leaving a better taste of frustration in her palms. Feeling like she couldn't be independent or deserving of trust. And to remind, she was a literal adult.

Mirabel tilted her head, fixing her giant glasses. Green frame shone bright. Matching the stems of endless flowers growing around.

"This is what I'm working for."

Isabela stalled, her arms stopping in the air as she trew a quick look over her shoulder. "What?" 

Mirabel dug her small fingers into the delicate fabric of her skirt. "If I manage to discover what's wrong, maybe Abuelo will realize we aren't that weak to need a constant help with everything." Teenager reached, taking Isabela's  warm hand.

Ohh, yes! Isabela exhaled in pure excitement that filled up her veins, getting deeper with every breathe. She screeched, jumping from emotions as Mirabel gasped, clearly startled. Glasses almost falling off her nose.

Mirabel had always been the one whom Abuelo had portrayed like the weakest between the entire family. The poor giftless lamb. So if Abuelo saw her succeeding in something even remotely dangerous, if he realized Mirabel wasn't as weak as he thought she was... He would certainly loosen his grip on Isabela too. (Well, maybe not but it was really her best shot)

The thing, whatever was going on with the magic was their window to freedom. And if there was a chance to climb on that tree, Isabela wouldn't jump off it. Because nobody knew if there would ever be a second chance. If Isabela wanted a change, she had to act. Or... well, just the act

"Tio Bruno had a vision before he left." Isabela nodded. She didn't know if it was related. There was no way to tell, nobody had found it, as far as Dolores was aware.

Teenager winced, mouth opening a bit as she flopped her eyelashes. "What vision? What had he seen?" She breathed out, pulling the teal fabric of her skirt.

Isabela shrugged. "No fucking idea, sis." As far as Isabela was aware, the family gave up on the truth ages ago. Because otherwise everyone would know what exactly tio saw. This family couldn't keep secrets for life.

"Language!"

"Spanish" Isabela clarified almost instinctively.

She knew Mirabel didn't remember Tio well, she could barely remember any interaction between them. But for now it was their best shot. "So how about you go to Tio's room? I'll distract Abuelo."

[woodchipp]

Looks like the OMORI subbreddit found me lmao. I was notified of it by an ask that seems to have disappeared (Tumblr being Tumblr, ig), so I'm including a screenshot of the ask here for posterity

Whether or not Omori's judgements are grounded in reality, they don't mean Sunny should kill himself.

I didn't say that. In fact, I wanted to emphasize how absurd it is that Sunny's irrational and suicidal self-loathing makes this much sense.

The game's failure to provide solid evidence against the arguments Omori makes is a fault of the writing itself, not Sunny.

His arc is about him coming to grip with what he has done, not where he grows to be a good person. Sunny being a good friend or something isn't really important to whether he should live or die.

We don’t really get to see if Sunny really changes beyond getting the words alone out. Because that’s not the point of the game. The entirety of the game’s narrative is about finding the courage to take the first step toward real healing; it is about the act of grasping what is real, to face in the direction of reality and therefore pain, suffering, and loss, but also happiness, growth, and change. But we only get to see the initial act of facing in that direction. And that’s what makes the game so powerful, is that it explores a process that is often so overlooked or seen as just a vehicle to a different, better story. But as the saying goes, a journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. What we see is the first step, and barely that.

Why should I be invested in said arc if the game gives me no reason to root for him? That literally was the point of the post the OP linked.

Sunny feeling bad for the shitty thing he did just isn't worth getting invested into. It's a start, sure, but if he takes a roughly 25 hr game just to muster up the courage to confess to a crime, and he does so only for his own peace of mind, why should I want him to reach his peace of mind in the first place?

Mind you, this is not the same as "I want Sunny to kill himself." What I'm saying is "OMORI wants me to care about Sunny, but doesn't put in the effort to give him any sort of personality, so why should I care about whether he kills himself or not?"

I actually agree with the OG post on the claim that Sunny is an extremely passive character [...] it’s incredibly frustrating to watch, which is kinda the whole point.

"which is kinda the whole point" Never heard that one before.

I understand the point just fine. In this case, my issue is that the point is conveyed very poorly.

Sunny has lost the ability to externally express himself, and doesn’t know what to do.

He doesn't know what to do, but he can run circles around his bestie while the latter's having a breakdown just fine! weeeeeeeee

Or so it would seem. The entire point of Headspace, as far as narrative function goes, is to demonstrate that Sunny in fact is taking very active internal steps to enact real change

Source?

Headspace was literally constructed to prevent any sort of change. it isn't shown significantly changing over the course of the game either.

Whether you believe spirit Mari or the backstage trio of Kel, Aubrey, and Hero were real or just a manifestation of Sunny’s mind,

The Backstage trio definitely isn't real, though.

they nevertheless demonstrate a significant overhaul taking place within Sunny and therefore a significant amount of character development!

Source? Any examples?

What is that even supposed to mean? What, should I consider Omori randomly seeing whatever that black-and-white apparition of Mari is supposed to be at North Lake solid character development?

I've previously explained why Headspace doesn't really matter much and why Backstage makes no sense story-wise, but it seems like I'll have to reiterate.

I'm not going to care about Sunny just because of what he thinks or says (and he doesn't even say much lol). What defines you are your actions. Sure, Sunny can say he'll miss his friends and dream about them all he wants, but if his love for them isn't backed up by what he does over the course of the game, I won't be inclined to believe in it.

Likewise, Backstage doesn't demonstrate character development to me. It's just Sunny shoving words of comfort he wants to hear at the moment into his friends' mouths, which is what Headspace was. The only thing that's different is the sprites.

What's the point of having your character trying to kick an addiction and framing said addiction as a bad thing only to have the character indulge in that addiction once again and frame it as a good thing at the end of the story?

By the way, I love that the comment's rebuttal to my first gripe - that Sunny doesn't do anything in real life that counts as actual character development - is basically "he changes on the inside!", which misses the point that he doesn't do anything substantial in real life. peak

The tragic irony of it all was that a depiction of someone suffering terribly was criticized for not being a “model” depiction of said suffering - as though there’s some kind of standard unit of measurement for that. I think in similar fashion, Sunny takes a lot of heat by players precisely because his situation is so extreme.

I love when people make no attempt to actually engage with what I'm trying to say and instead create an entirely different argument in their head because it'd be easier to argue against.

I'm not criticizing Sunny because his situation is extreme. I just don't like him because the game doesn't give you much of a reason to and because his actions towards the people we're supposed to see as his closest friends throughout the story paint him as very unpleasant at best. That's all there is to it.

Also, I've never seen The Whale. Looking it up on TVTropes, though...

lol. lmao, even. rofl, if you will

Let’s be honest here: even if you struggle with some kind of mental health issue, you probably won’t - hopefully won’t - really be able to understand what Sunny is experiencing. That doesn’t make for a very relatable character!

Yes, because I've never committed manslaughter.

I'm not one to measure how good a character is by whether they're relatable or not. In fact, I despise the notion that a character must be relatable in order to be well-written. However, in this case, I need to ask - if Sunny isn't supposed to be relatable, what is he supposed to be? Again, why should I care about him?

Unlike Charlie, who is apparently nice to people even when they treat him like dirt, Sunny doesn't have any notable character traits besides his mental illness. We're repeatedly told he's nice and supportive, but he's never shown doing anything substantial for his friends other than being "the baby of the group" before Mari's death, nor do we see him trying to be supportive to them after it.

Sunny makes no indication that his friends must accept his apology or that he expects their forgiveness,

but the secret ending shows that he did in fact forgive himself.

And everyone he hurt by letting them believe in Basil's lie are glossed over, but hey, who gives a shit about these people, right?

Aubrey’s reaction and her pushing Basil into the lake is a great example of this; a very similar scenario plays out, only potential tragedy is avoided. Does that still make Aubrey a killer? Is she solely to blame for the push, even if it was fully intentional?

"Is she solely to blame for the push, even if it was fully intentional?" Yes. What kind of question is this?

What about her upbringing

"Her upbringing" can only excuse so much. At some point, a Freudian Excuse stops being an excuse, and Aubrey pushing Basil into the lake was that point. The game doesn't bother delving into her upbringing much either, so, again, why should I care?

and, not nearly mentioned as much, Basil’s own continued choice to keep the truth hidden and allow people like Aubrey to remain in unnecessary pain and suffering?

Aubrey didn't even know the truth when she attacked Basil, though. She just flipped out at him for no reason.

It's easy for the player to grow attached to the main character because they're playing as them. Summing up Sunny's character traits as, in the critique's own words, "#relatable traits," is unbelievably disingenuous. Sunny isn't just "depressed and quiet." He is a traumatised child who is borderline neurotic and suicidal.

Okay. Aside from him being traumatized and being the protagonist, why should I care about him? These are not enough.

Trauma does not constitute one's personality - it informs it. I've said as such in the post the OP linked, and yet everyone seems to omit it in their rebuttals to my arguments. Convenient!

Sunny obviously cares about being forgiven by his friends, that's kind of the reason why he lied in the first place?

Oh yeah, he cares!

In the sense that he was more concerned with losing his friends' love than what they might think and/or feel about the truth, which is why he went along with Basil's lie. He cares only in terms of how it affects him.

It's more so... you know, that Omori was wrong and that Sunny's friends will forgive him and love him regardless? 

...The whole point of the true ending is that there is no definitive answer to whether they forgive him or not.

I'm kind of starting to doubt whether the people lambasting me for not understanding the game actually understand it themselves.

Oh, but of course

It’s not that Sunny didn’t go through a “legitimate character arc”; it’s that he went through an unconventional character arc

that post calls sunny an empty husk of a character yet refuses to analyze him or read into any of his actions beyond complete surface level and instead opts to demonize him at every opportunity. complete media literacy failure in understanding show don't tell. wild.

Anyone who can spend 70% of a game in the depths of a single character's complex, ever-changing psyche and then say that character is a husk concerns me

His development is certainly nuanced, but to say it’s nonexistent you would have to play with a blindfold. 

If I'm being honest, the more OMORI fans insist on the writing being too Unconventional™/Nuanced™/Complex™/Symbolic™ for people to understand and that everyone who has problems with it is lacking media literacy, the less believable and more obnoxiously pretentious they sound.

Also the words of encouragement Sunny receives during the Omori boss fight are all in-line with the characterisation of his friends and the overall narrative of the game, something the author of that critique happily omits.

That... wasn't even the problem I was talking about?

"There's just a problem with this, though - Sunny's friends offered him their support without the knowledge of how Mari actually died. They were convinced that Sunny is struggling with Mari's suicide, not that he's wrestling with well-earned guilt over committing manslaughter. We don't know whether they would've supported him all the same if they knew the truth, and the game doesn't provide an answer either since the group's reactions to Sunny's confession are left ambiguous." "Simply put, Sunny is twisting his friends' words, taking them out of context to make himself feel better. The support Sunny received is built on a lie."

I don't think anyone in that comment thread took the time to actually read my post. Unsurprising.

”Every character in Omori is an empty husk, because I’ve never played the game!”

I've seen this refrain pretty frequently. The funniest thing about this is that I was a fan of the game myself until I scrutinized its writing a tad closer than I used to and consequently realized how dogshit it is.

Well, whatever. I've said what I wanted to say.

[iiyarada]

Muu drabble incoming!!

Kurt Stachler and Borderline Personality Disorder

i'm specifically focusing on the Arles Fight. Perhaps I am going to sound insane, but as someone with BPD, I see some of myself in Kurt (and also Gilbert.)

I'm gonna be going into a bit of depth on what Borderline Personality Disorder is like, and what people with BPD experience. It's a heavily stigmatized disorder, but ultimately, like many Cluster B disorders, it stems from trauma. People with BPD deserve love and sympathy, and they CAN flourish with proper help and care, just as anyone with any disorder can.

In this scene, Kurt is an asshole, obviously. But if you read it through the leanse of "he has BPD" he becomes much less of an "asshole for no reason" character and more of an "asshole we can be sympathetic towards."

Kurt jumps to what would usually be an insane conclusion (a did end up being correct but I digress.) In any other normal circumstance, coming to the conclusion of "my friend doesn't want to hang out with ME because he's in love with someone else. Obviously." And in that conclusion jump, he goes as far to compare him to someone like Blough, calls Gilbert a faggot, and ends up getting his ass beat lmao.

THAT SAID, Kurt holds an infatuation with Serge. In one of Keiko's notes about him, she states he has a "reverential affection" towards him. However, he also gets mad at him a lot, especially during the Arles fight he goes as far as to say:

"He's not so great after all, I don't want anything to do with him!" and storming off.

Kurt, despite this "reverential affection," often shows frustration towards Serge (and frustration in general) but then on the next page, he's defending him with his life.

This is where, as someone with BPD, I relate to him a lot, and why I say he could be seen as someone with BPD or at least shows the symptoms.

With BPD, you suffer from extreme mood swings and tend to see things in a "black and white" sort of way. Either someone loves you, or someone hates you, there's no nuance or middle ground...it's one extreme or the other (which is referred to as splitting in BPD terms.)

ALSO with BPD, comes extreme attachment. An FP, or "Favorite Person" is someone a person with BPD heavily relies on, they seek validation and attention from that person, and/or they look up to them and idolize them.

With that attachment comes that black and white world view where, since those with BPD are highly sensitive, anytime someone (especially an FP) says or does something that makes someone with BPD feel hurt, the irrational BPD brain will want to frame it in a way where the other person was being deliberately harmful, even if the person with BPD logically understands otherwise.

It's a cycle that sometimes, those with BPD don't even realize they're going through that cycle until they are diagnosed. And especially at 14 in the 1800s...you're not going to know what the hell is wrong with you and why you feel angry all the time, or why you keep flip-flopping between loving and hating your best friend. Terms like "splitting" and "Favorite Person" didn't exist yet. Hell, the first BPD diagnosis didn't even happen until 1938!

Kurt is canonically described as jealous. He's jealous of Gilbert, and jealous of the closeness he's developed with Serge (whether he's jealous of their actual relationship, you can argue yes or no, but he's envious that Gilbert is closer to Serge than he is.) He's highly sensitive to when Serge chooses Gilbert over him and it causes him lash out.

Impulsivity, jealousy, intense emotions, irritability, all of these are incredibly common in BPD, and ALL of them are traits I'd argue Kurt has.

What we DON'T know for a fact of if all of this behavior comes with or comes from a fear of abandonment. BPD always comes with an intense fear of abandonment and/or being left alone. Almost all erratic behaviors that come from those with BPD stem FROM that fear.

Now. Kurt is a side character. He doesn't have a backstory, he doesn't have an actual explanation for how he acts outside of "he's moody." He doesn't have a plot line that explains if he has a fear of abandonment, or had some sort of traumatic childhood to cause this disorder in the first place, or if he's just like that for no reason. This is all a reach, obviously...all of my drabbles are, but my reaching is based off what I see in Kurt and how I relate to how he reacts when reading through Kazeki, my thoughts aren't based on nothing.

TL;DR, I have BPD and see a lot of my own traits displayed in Kurt therefore I'm giving my diagnosis to him. Kurt Stachler I will ALWAYS defend you. Amen.

[iheart-nana]

xxxv. tunnel vision

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡�� ✮

CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE ─ tunnel vision.

❛ we got nothing else to do, and nothing else to lose ❜

Narrator's Perspective

Eunyoung stood at Sunjae's doorstep, her backpack hanging from one shoulder as her legs shook nervously. The truth was that she was so insanely anxious. It was a foreign feeling to Eunyoung who tends to look at the positive aspect of every situation. But her stupid little crush on Sunjae had her considering all the horrible possibilities by which she could screw up. What if she stuttered and stammered like an idiot? What if she was too distracted and couldn't help Sunjae at all? All these trivial matters occupied her mind as she fidgeted with her clothes.

She then remembered the previous night...

Eunyoung paced around her room biting her lip in frustration. After all the lengths she went to to prevent Sunjae's death, nothing had changed in the future. He was still dead. And time was running out. Depression. Suicide. These words rang in her mind in an endless loop. They made her heart twist and ache unbearably. What could he possibly have been going through for him to make such a decision? 

Fear crept in her mind. The future seemed to be advancing like a hungry beast, ready to take Sunjae away from her once again. Then, all of a sudden, like a light had been turned on in her brain, she had an idea. Her eyes shifted to her window, which was facing Sunjae's. His window was open, and no one seemed to be there inside. 

She scrambled through her drawers and pulled out a blank, blue sheet.

"I know life's tough sometimes. It feels like everything is falling apart and the world has turned it's back. But you need to hold on to hope. Lean on your loved ones. Because they're the ones who are always rooting for you."

She poured her heart out onto the paper and made a bunch of  folds. Eunyoung herself was amazed at her memory and at how her mind suddenly pulled out everything she learnt from some random origami workshop she attended. Everything had gone through one ear and come out through another. But, somehow she seemed to remember just one thing. Paper airplanes. Destiny had been working in strange ways, leading her to Sunjae.

Then, she did one of the most irrational things in her life. She leaned on her window sill and threw the paper airplane as she watched it land inside his house.

Taking in a deep breath, Eunyoung reached out and rang the doorbell. She waited before the blue gate till Sunjae's father emerged from the main entrance of their house and approached her with a wide, toothy grin. Eunyoung returned his smile. It had been a while since she had seen his father and she was glad to see his warm greeting.

"Oh, come in, dear," he said, unlatching the front door.

As they stepped into the house, her father motioned her to sit down. Sitting down on the little sofa in the center of their living room. It was a cozy little dwelling, with warm lamps and light bulbs and a brown carpet lying across the floor.

"So, Eunyoung," his father began, "What brings you here?"

"I'm here to help Sunjae with math," the moment those words fell out of Eunyoung's mouth, Sunjae's father's expression suddenly turned grave. She chuckled at the worry on his face.

"Ah, yes," he said, sounding embarrassed, "It is quite a... ehh... shameful thing. He got an earful from me already."

"Nothing to worry about, really," she said with a small laugh, "He'll catch up soon."

"Well, if there's anyone who can help him, it's you!"

While Eunyoung's ears turned red at Sunjae's blind faith in her abilities, she heard a thudding as Sunjae's tall figure emerged from a flight of stairs. He was dressed in simple, black track pants and a navy blue tshirt, and yet Eunyoung's eyes turned wide. The mere sight of him made her feel like her heart would jump out of her chest.

"Sorry I kept you waiting," he said sheepishly, shooting her a dimpled smile that she hadn't seen in far too long. His smile never failed to fill her heart with a comfortable warmth that she could easily get used to. A blush crept up her cheeks that she tried her best to hide.

"Nonsense," she waved her hand in front of her face, "Your father is a great conversationalist."

"Pfft!" his dad laughed heartily, "You flatter me."

"Should we get started?" Sunjae interrupted rather impatiently. His dad smiled knowingly, aware of his eagerness to spend time with Eunyoung.

"Oh, yes let's do that."

They made their way up the stairs, then entered Sunjae's bedroom. The door shut with a thud behind them, and they were alone at last. Eunyoung scanned his room briefly, a smile surfacing on her lips. There were trophies, certificates, medals on display and her eyes lingered on the photos of Sunjae. 

"There's a lot of blue in here," she observed. Suddenly, her smile grew wider as she spotted the blue paper from the paper airplane she had sent the previous day.

"My favorite color," Sunjae said, the words basically fumbled out of his mouth. His heart was pounding in his chest, daring to jump out any second. His gaze lingered on Eunyoung. She wore a pair of dark blue, comfortable-looking jeans with a dusty pink top. She looked as pretty as ever, with her long, flowing hair and sparkling eyes. He quickly looked away, feeling the warmth on his face.

They sat down at his desk, and Sunjae's lethargic and sloth-like movement indicated his unwillingness to study. The truth was that if he could, he could sit and stare at Eunyoung in admiration for the rest of his life. Snapping out of his trance, he blinked his eyes rapidly and took out his math textbooks .

"What are your grades like in other subjects?" she inquired, turning to look at him.

"A B is probably the most I've ever gotten," he answered, his ears turning red in shame. This wasn't exactly the side of himself he wanted Eunyoung to know.

The small, rather elegant chuckle that escaped her mouth filled his ears, "You don't have to look so embarrassed, Sunjae, I'm here to help you, not judge you."

There it was again. She had such a way with words, the way she weaved them just the right way. Her words never failed to be a source of strength for him. This newfound vulnerability filled him with a sense of comfortability instead of the usual unease and fear that came with opening up to someone.

"So, what do you hate most about math?"

"Algebra," he said, sounding quite petrified.

"Then let's start with that."

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

nana's notes: sunjae's dad being the best wingman ever.

delphi's notes: FEAR OF ALGEBRA IS SO REALL. eunyoung you demon.

next chapter: saturday list of chapters here!