irisbaggins

[irisbaggins]

Honestly, yeah! I think B2 was really that nail especially because it kind of shattered any chance for Evan to be "peaceful" about his mission, where he defaulted to violence because it made sense to him. He feels like, as you said, there's an authenticity to violence not found anywhere else and therefore refuses to see evidence to the contrary. I think it also might have something to do with the part he had to play (whether it was actually his fault or not) in the breaking of magic; in a sense, he was a figure of evil for doing so. I think that's what makes it so interesting that Evan's a Mind character; he's incredibly smart and clever, but he has not extended this to internal smarts and intelligence. Because, being emotionally intelligent requires him to examine himself in a way that will shatter his worldview, and I think that's also what causes his clashes with K (someone who is very emotionally intelligent). He's brilliant, but not when it concerns himself. And very few people actually challenge him on it, which allows him to continue to delude himself and pretend he's correct.

And I find it really interesting that Brennan has not only managed to portray this in Evan where you can barely see the seams of self-delusion, but has also managed to convince the audience of said delusion. Evan is, as you said, very good at building mental walls of half-truths and logic, and I think it's very interesting to pick at said walls and seeing how he ticks. Evan pretends to be in control and to he an intelligent and smart wizard, but at his core he's insecure and lost. He's never processed his trauma, and I think Brennan's mention of the fact that Evan's copied a lot of the behaviour of his friends post Gowpenny really showcases how Evan is less of a developed person, and more a patchwork of different personalities and characteristics he thinks others would appreciate and like him for. And when he himself doesn't think he deserves said appreciation and people liking him? It creates tension and conflict that we're seeing now.

Your tags are just really neat, and they really made me think! I hope I made some sense, here, because I just really enjoyed your take and wanted to build on that idea. I just think Evan is just an interesting character to analyse, as he's really a prime example of a character who uses words and intelligence to hide his actual flaws and insecurities. And I also find it fun to look at Evan in the context of K, especially since the two of them are both very similar and also foils to each other.

I hope I'm not rambling or being annoying, here. I just really enjoy talking about these characters, and your tags really spun my very sleepy brain into gear. I also really agree with your take on Evan's usage of his trauma and objectivity, as it's something I've noticed too but never really delved too deeply into. It's very interesting, and might be fascinating to ponder upon at a later date.

This isn't going to be as in-depth as my other meta (I am too tired after Uni and thinking about different literary theories), but I've seen some folks point it out and wanted to add my own two cents:

From the way I view Evan's behaviour since the killing of Philtrum, I read it as him becoming defeatist towards his own nature. He truly believes he's a bad person, who doesn't deserve love nor happiness. He chafes against any assertion that he's loved or cherished, and he clashes with anyone attempting to assert that he's valuable and loved just the way he is. The only person who he doesn't outright clash with is Sam, and that is - I believe - only due to the fact he saw and experienced her emotions and feelings, and therefore cannot quite dispute them. With Jammer and K he can, because he doesn't have that insight into their true feelings. He can make assumptions, then, and run with that idea.

Why does this matter, then? Well, I've noticed how Evan pushes back against the three, and how it differs with each person. Because he does clash against all of them, just differently depending on the person. With Sam, he doesn't outright deny her claims, but it's clear he doesn't believe her fully. He just doesn't say it because it makes her sad and, after every kindness she's shown him, he doesn't think she deserves to feel like that. With Jammer, we've seen him either outright challenge him - how he's mentioned to Jammer's teammates and the lack of talking about his inherent magic - and we've seen him doubt and distrust Jammer's overt affection - not believing they're family, despite Jammer's insistence that they are. And with K, Evan has never truly believed himself worthy of love, but he doesn't quite understand that that's the issue K has with him, and therefore thinks K just wants to "change him" to fit their worldview (instead of being that K wants to "fix him" in terms of his self worth etc.).

Evan clashes with all of them, and I argue that it's because he doesn't see himself as worthy of their compassion. I would have to re-watch the first few episodes of the season to be sure, but I have the distinct feeling that Evan's refusal to believe in his friends' compassion started after killing B2, something he did without hesitation and without direct remorse. And I think that's the core issue, here. I believe that's why Evan is so adamant in his position, in his belief of his unworthiness, in his desire for power and control; he truly believes he became what he always feared, and he's both accepted this and is also denying it. He pretends everything's fine, yet he also cannot escape the feeling that he's doomed. He called himself heir to the evil house, something he's always denied. I think that alone is an insight into Evan's mindset; he thinks himself evil, which places him in direct opposition to his friends who he believes to be good.

I talked about K and control, and how they can - in their attempt to pretend - be hurtful in what they say. I argue the same is true with Evan, but instead of being directly self-sabotaging with his speech, he's doing it indirectly. He's placing himself as someone they shouldn't trust, and he himself might not be consciously aware of it. He's self-sabotaging, at least from the way I read his actions, especially in light of K's conversation with Tabby. He doesn't trust that the affection of others is genuine, and therefore will treat it as if it weren't. And he's only gotten worse, I think. Yes, he can throw out affection and "I love yous", but receiving them? He doesn't know how to handle that, and will either just go along with it quietly, or question it directly.

Evan's trapped within a negative feedback loop, and I think this is only heightened with his conflict with the Qohlye, and his conflict with him. Specifically, I'm thinking about the ways in which Evan refuses to actually understand why he was given the book, and why it's a horribly sad thing to happen to him. Not because the Qohlye thinks Evan is only meant for sadness, but because the Qohlye understands and knows that the book will only lead Evan to a darker place in a desperate attempt to keep control. The Qohlye is sad, I think, because he knows Evan will happily walk a path he himself doesn't want just to keep his friends close - something that will, in the end, only lead to great sadness. Just take his near sacrifice when saving K from death in the first season, or killing B2 in this season. Evan is a self-fulfilling prophecy, and the Qohlye sees this, and sees Evan refusing to attempt to understand it. That's the sad part, I think. That's where that grief comes from. It comes from seeing a bright and kind kid destroy themselves because of them believing themselves unworthy of love.

I could go on with this topic, but I think I'll end my rant for now by concluding with this: Evan hasn't acknowledged the demons directly since he discovered they had returned, and I am very worried with what's going to happen in the last two episodes. Especially with the references to "kill your dad" and all. Evan is such an interesting character to analyse, especially since he's such a flawed and complex character. Often, what I've noticed with him, is that it's what he doesn't say that leaves the most impact. And him not acknowledging his own emotions and his own fears regarding his nature is quite telling. Especially as he's positioned himself as a wizard killer. I'll probably write some more meta at a later date regarding him - as well as meta on K, Jammer, and Sam, as I find all of them so incredibly fascinating. But I shall end the post now before I fall asleep typing, because I am dead on my feet. So, if this post makes no sense, really sorry about that! Will probably refine it later when I'm dodging writing about my thesis.

Also, just wanted to add: If anyone has like, any points, disagreements, or just general thoughts about this post and my takes, I'm happy to hear them! I'm always up to hear what others think of my takes, especially if you disagree. It always fascinates me to hear what others think about characters and a story, so please do not hesitate to interact if you have your own two cents!

[irisbaggins]

This isn't going to be as in-depth as my other meta (I am too tired after Uni and thinking about different literary theories), but I've seen some folks point it out and wanted to add my own two cents:

From the way I view Evan's behaviour since the killing of Philtrum, I read it as him becoming defeatist towards his own nature. He truly believes he's a bad person, who doesn't deserve love nor happiness. He chafes against any assertion that he's loved or cherished, and he clashes with anyone attempting to assert that he's valuable and loved just the way he is. The only person who he doesn't outright clash with is Sam, and that is - I believe - only due to the fact he saw and experienced her emotions and feelings, and therefore cannot quite dispute them. With Jammer and K he can, because he doesn't have that insight into their true feelings. He can make assumptions, then, and run with that idea.

Why does this matter, then? Well, I've noticed how Evan pushes back against the three, and how it differs with each person. Because he does clash against all of them, just differently depending on the person. With Sam, he doesn't outright deny her claims, but it's clear he doesn't believe her fully. He just doesn't say it because it makes her sad and, after every kindness she's shown him, he doesn't think she deserves to feel like that. With Jammer, we've seen him either outright challenge him - how he's mentioned to Jammer's teammates and the lack of talking about his inherent magic - and we've seen him doubt and distrust Jammer's overt affection - not believing they're family, despite Jammer's insistence that they are. And with K, Evan has never truly believed himself worthy of love, but he doesn't quite understand that that's the issue K has with him, and therefore thinks K just wants to "change him" to fit their worldview (instead of being that K wants to "fix him" in terms of his self worth etc.).

Evan clashes with all of them, and I argue that it's because he doesn't see himself as worthy of their compassion. I would have to re-watch the first few episodes of the season to be sure, but I have the distinct feeling that Evan's refusal to believe in his friends' compassion started after killing B2, something he did without hesitation and without direct remorse. And I think that's the core issue, here. I believe that's why Evan is so adamant in his position, in his belief of his unworthiness, in his desire for power and control; he truly believes he became what he always feared, and he's both accepted this and is also denying it. He pretends everything's fine, yet he also cannot escape the feeling that he's doomed. He called himself heir to the evil house, something he's always denied. I think that alone is an insight into Evan's mindset; he thinks himself evil, which places him in direct opposition to his friends who he believes to be good.

I talked about K and control, and how they can - in their attempt to pretend - be hurtful in what they say. I argue the same is true with Evan, but instead of being directly self-sabotaging with his speech, he's doing it indirectly. He's placing himself as someone they shouldn't trust, and he himself might not be consciously aware of it. He's self-sabotaging, at least from the way I read his actions, especially in light of K's conversation with Tabby. He doesn't trust that the affection of others is genuine, and therefore will treat it as if it weren't. And he's only gotten worse, I think. Yes, he can throw out affection and "I love yous", but receiving them? He doesn't know how to handle that, and will either just go along with it quietly, or question it directly.

Evan's trapped within a negative feedback loop, and I think this is only heightened with his conflict with the Qohlye, and his conflict with him. Specifically, I'm thinking about the ways in which Evan refuses to actually understand why he was given the book, and why it's a horribly sad thing to happen to him. Not because the Qohlye thinks Evan is only meant for sadness, but because the Qohlye understands and knows that the book will only lead Evan to a darker place in a desperate attempt to keep control. The Qohlye is sad, I think, because he knows Evan will happily walk a path he himself doesn't want just to keep his friends close - something that will, in the end, only lead to great sadness. Just take his near sacrifice when saving K from death in the first season, or killing B2 in this season. Evan is a self-fulfilling prophecy, and the Qohlye sees this, and sees Evan refusing to attempt to understand it. That's the sad part, I think. That's where that grief comes from. It comes from seeing a bright and kind kid destroy themselves because of them believing themselves unworthy of love.

I could go on with this topic, but I think I'll end my rant for now by concluding with this: Evan hasn't acknowledged the demons directly since he discovered they had returned, and I am very worried with what's going to happen in the last two episodes. Especially with the references to "kill your dad" and all. Evan is such an interesting character to analyse, especially since he's such a flawed and complex character. Often, what I've noticed with him, is that it's what he doesn't say that leaves the most impact. And him not acknowledging his own emotions and his own fears regarding his nature is quite telling. Especially as he's positioned himself as a wizard killer. I'll probably write some more meta at a later date regarding him - as well as meta on K, Jammer, and Sam, as I find all of them so incredibly fascinating. But I shall end the post now before I fall asleep typing, because I am dead on my feet. So, if this post makes no sense, really sorry about that! Will probably refine it later when I'm dodging writing about my thesis.

Also, just wanted to add: If anyone has like, any points, disagreements, or just general thoughts about this post and my takes, I'm happy to hear them! I'm always up to hear what others think of my takes, especially if you disagree. It always fascinates me to hear what others think about characters and a story, so please do not hesitate to interact if you have your own two cents!

[irisbaggins]

[irisbaggins]

Im gonna say it.

I think Mulligan and Ishii's play styles are incredibly similar (at least in calibre)

Ive seen both players take big swings, really dive into the emotions of their characters, and engage with the story and themes in ways that are INCREDIBLY SIMILAR.

How they (/their characters) interact with the other players at the table is literally the exact same. You could have side-by-side transcripts and you'd notice they follow the exact same emotional beats and potency in each scene

And the thing is. People are critiquing Erika Ishii's playstyle and character choices a hell of a lot more than Brennan's. And I dont really have a good reason why, because I've noticed most of the time these aren't genuine or good faith criticisms, often theyre just complaining bc they think Erika's characters are cringe/overly emotional.

Nobody has those criticisms about Brennan's characters. (Or if they do theyre no where near as vocal as they are about Ishii's.)

[irisbaggins]

it really sucks when the character you most resemble is the one the fandom hates most. i remember getting to xxbrokendreamxx's introduction in the first mismag and being like "oh no i am not ready to see myself on screen like this i am barely at the point where i can extend my teenage self some grace." i fully switched it off and did not come back for months.

and then you get online after watching it and enjoying it, and it's like viewing your own bullying from a distance. i'm an adult with responsibilities and way bigger stuff to worry about than fandom interactions, but also i have to fight that much harder to get my own head right when i am here because i'm the only advocate i have for the kid who really needed to be included and shown some kindness before they knew how to be kind themselves.

[irisbaggins]

devastating news for the discourse poster: “media literacy” in the modern age includes the ability to identify which posts are bait

[irisbaggins]

Redrew them almost 4 years later!!

[irisbaggins]

Sure it’s soulless and only exists to be a lazy cashgrab but at least now it’s a REAL movie unlike that toddler cartoon /s

[irisbaggins]

[irisbaggins]

pro tip: you can rewatch your favorite media again

[irisbaggins]

woke up to my neighbor screaming “louder please, alexa!” and now ring of fire by johnny cash is positively Blasting through the morning air

[irisbaggins]

SAY IT DONT SPRAY IT MOTHERFUCKER

[irisbaggins]

Seasonal affective disorder havers how are we all coping

[ID: Two versions of the cat screaming at food bowl meme. The first has a clock showing 4pm and is captioned "WHY IS IT NIGHTTIME". The second has a November calendar and is captioned "WHY IS IT TEMPERATURES".]

[irisbaggins]

adhd paralysis sucks bcuz im just sitting there and my brain is like

YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME

no work done no rest gained. literally no point of this at all

[irisbaggins]