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ravenn-darkholme · 6 months ago

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PERMANENT PRICE chapter 4

Alex Summers x Mutant/OC

Summary: Isabella Darkholme, sister of raven Darkholme and Charles Xavier. Also a mutant. Her mutation allows her to blend in with the light rays, turning herself and whatever she's touching invisible.

warnings: none that I know of

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A long plane journey later, Isabella and Alex sat in the back of a CIA car, which was sent to pick them up via Charles. They sat in silence, one Belle couldn't quite describe. It wasn't awkward, not neccacarily uncomfortable. It was just there. After hours of talking on the plane, they were both pretty exhausted. The only people Isabella talked to every day were Charles and raven. And those were her siblings so it was all natural flowing conversations, which she rarely gets with other people. Thankfully, with Alex, it was as if they'd known each other for years, which was of course not the case. It was like they were meant to meet, call it cliche but Bella felt so. Especially since Charles couldn't stop her from talking to him.

Isabella had gotten a lot out of Alex. He told her how he found out about his mutation, how he got sent to prison, his parents, and even his favorite color. Which Isabella thought was a win-win situation. Recruit him (a powerful mutant from what she was told) and make a friend without Charles to stop her.

She had no idea where Charles went with Erik, but she felt perfectly fine with Alex, so she didn't worry. Once they got there they saw all the other mutants introducing themselves to each other. So instead of going straight there, Isabella grabbed Alex's hand pulling him in the opposite direction from their fellow mutants to a guard post.

"What are you doing?" He asked confused as to why they weren't going to the other mutants.

"Watch this." She said with a smirk letting go of his hand. She was saddened at the loss of his touch, but she tried not to dwell on it.

He stood there with his arms folded waiting for whatever she was about to do.

Isabella felt the tingling sensation of her invisibility washing over her. She watched as Alex's face turn from boredom to shock. As she moved, her footsteps made no sound. Whenever she was invisible, she felt a sense of power and freedom, but also a sense of vulnerability and isolation.

As the top half of Isabella's body started to disappear, Alex saw her move toward him. Once her body fully vanished, Alex noticed her footsteps were completely silent. He was stunned by her mutation.

"Grab my hand" Isabella whispered, forgetting Alex didn't realize she was behind him, watching him stumble back in shock.

"Sorry, sorry! Just stay with me, I'm making you invisible too."

Isabella took a deep breath and concentrated. She grabbed Alex's hand and closed her eyes, focusing on making him invisible. As anticipated, it worked. Alex's body slowly disappeared, making Isabella visible to him and only to him, and vice versa.

"Whoa," Alex said, looking down at his invisible body. "This is crazy."

Isabella giggled, feeling proud of herself for bringing him out of his shell.

As Alex looked around, trying to get used to being invisible, Isabella explained how it would work.

"As long as your holding onto my hand they won't see or hear us. I can even make us phase through objects. But I won't push you that far yet. It can feel a little, weird. She explained with a giggle.

The first guard was walking towards her, and Isabella waited until he was close enough. Then, she gave him a light push. The guard stumbled, confused as to what had just happened. He looked around but saw no one. Alex couldn't stop laughing.

The second guard was a little smarter. He had seen the first guard stumble and knew something was up. Bella watched as he looked around, trying to spot her. She waited until he was close, and then blew air right in his ear. The guard jumped, swatting at the air. He still couldn't see her.

Alex snickered as he watched the third guard reading a magazine, totally unaware of their presence.

Alex got an idea. He would make the guard think that he was going crazy. He started to move objects around the room (dragging belle along with him their hands still attached, they didn't need to be but Isabella didn't say anything, she actually liked the contact) but just enough that it wouldn't be noticeable at first. He moved a pencil a few inches to the right, a book to the left, and then the chair to the right again. The guard was confused but didn't think too much of it.

Isabella then started to get bolder. She moved the magazine the guard was reading so that when he looked back at it, the page was different. He frowned but still didn't realize what was going on.

Alex chuckled as he watched belle's prank. But then, she went too far. She moved the guard's hat from his head to the table, right in front of him.

The guard's eyes widened in surprise, and he quickly looked around. "What the...?" he muttered, trying to figure out what was happening.

Alex panicked. "Isabella, that's enough!" he hissed.

But she couldn't resist. She moved the hat back onto the guard's head, just as he was about to take a closer look at the table.

The guard jumped, startled. "What the hell?" he exclaimed, looking around frantically.

Alex and Belle couldn't contain their laughter anymore. Bella made the pair visible and ran away, still laughing, and still clutching Alex's hand.

Isabella felt a rush of excitement as she ran toward the room with the other mutants residing in it. She stopped outside the door catching her breath. Now that the adrenaline was wearing off she let go of Alex's hand, acknowledging that it was probably making him uncomfortable.

"You didn't have to let go you know." He said with a smirk walking into the room full of other mutants. She stood there in awe. It may have been stupid because that was basically nothing.

But after having very little physical contact with anyone but her siblings, little things like that made bella essentially fall to her knees, especially from someone like Alex Summers. But she pulled herself together and followed him into the room immediately going to her sister and hugging her.

"Finally I was wondering when you would finally come in here," Raven said with a small smirk on her face nudging her little sister.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." She said back with a straight face sitting down after her sister.

The young mutants sat around on the couches, talking among themselves.

"We should think of code names," Raven said after reuniting with bella.

"We're government agents now. We should have secret code names," she grinned.

"I wanna be called Mystique."

"Damn, I wanted to be called Mystique," Sean groaned.

Raven laughed. "Well, tough, I called it," she transformed into an identical copy of Sean, much to the group's - minus Isabella's- surprise.

"And I'm way more mysterious than you," she said in his voice. The group gave Raven a round of applause as she transformed back into herself, asking.

"Darwin, what about you?"

"Well, uh, Darwin's already a nickname and, you know, it sort of fits," he said.

"Adapt to survive, and all. Check this out."

He got to his feet and approached the fish tank that was situated against the back wall. Isabella watched as he ducked his head down under the water, and a moment later a set of gills appeared on the side of his face, allowing him to breathe underwater. Impressed, she joined the others in their applause as Darwin shook the water from his face after straightening up.

"Thank you, thank you," he said with a smile.

"That's incredible," Hank grinned.

"What about you?" Darwin asked, gesturing to Sean.

"I'm going to be... Banshee," he replied, coming up with the name after a slight pause.

"Why do you want to be named after a wailing spirit?" Hank asked.

"You might wanna cover your ears.”

With confused glances shared among themselves, Isabella covered her ears with her hands and caught Alex's eye. The two of them smiled at one another before shifting back to Sean, who got to his feet and eyed the glasses lined up on the table. Bella watched him take a deep breath before releasing what appeared to be a sonic scream, which caused the glass window to shatter. Removing her hands from her ears, Isabella laughed as Sean pointed at Angel.

"Your turn."

She got to her feet and started to remove her jacket.

"My stage name was Angel," She said, turning so that her back was to them, and a pair of wings emerged from her back.

"It kind of fits."

"Whoa, you can fly?" Raven gasped. Isabella smiled at how mesmerized her sister was at Angel.

"Uh-huh. And, um..."

She turned to the broken window and spat an acid ball at the statue. It hit the head of the figure and sizzled as the metal began to oxidize under the acid. Laughter and clapping applauded her abilities, and although she was having fun, Isabella couldn't quite help but think back to earlier, it may have sounded totally cliche and ridiculous but she had a lot of fun, and it seemed as though Alex did as well.

"What's your name gonna be?" Isabella decided to ask Hank who was terribly shy and wanted to give him a chance to show off his mutation.

Evidently too embarrassed to answer, Hank remained quiet, paving the way for Alex to chime in with,

"How about Bigfoot?"

While everyone laughed, Isabella couldn't bring herself to. She knew how Hank was feeling, and didn't enjoy laughing at the cost of someone else, but before she could speak up and defend him, Raven beat her to the punch.

"Well, you know what they say about guys with big feet," she said, making a show of looking at Alex's feet.

"And, uh, yours are kind of small." Alex looked away, specifically toward Isabella, obviously feeling embarrassed. Isabella mouthed a sorry to him smiling sadly. While he may have deserved it, she knew all too well what it was like to be ridiculed in a room full of people.

"Okay, now," Darwin said, as the others laughed.

"Alex, what is your gift? What can you do?"

"Uh, it's not, um..." Alex stammered, finally looking away from bella.

"Um, I just can't do it. I can't do it in here."

"Can you do it out there?" Darwin asked, pointing beyond the broken window.

"Why don't you just do it out there?" Raven questioned.

"Come on," the others pressed.

They started chanting Alex's name, and he noticed them all waiting for him to show off his power. He got up and put down his drink. Smiling at Isabella as he headed to the broken window.

"All right!" Sean exclaimed.

"That's the spirit," Darwin said.

"Get down when I tell you."

"'Get down when I tell you,'" Sean mocked.

"Get back," Alex said, noticing them all peering out from behind the wall. They disappeared for maybe a second before reappearing, and when he saw them once more, he said,

"Get back!" with a little more emphasis in his tone.

When they didn't move, he sighed. "Whatever."

Isabella didn't stand with the others, instead, she became intangible. Her body matter disappears temporarily. She stood there in case she needed to throw up a forcefield, trusting Alex but not wanting to take any risks. Alex looked over at Isabella slightly nodding as if to check if she was fine to stand there. She nodded back.

His powers consisted of red rings of energy forming around his torso. He did a hula-hoop move and fired them in all different directions. It was clear he couldn't fully contain his powers yet.

One flew in the direction of the statue - that had previously suffered from Angel's spitball -cutting it down in half, dropping the burning half-head and torso of whichever old man the statue was of onto the lawn at his own feet.

Belle praised Alex as he rejoined them in the room.

"That was better than I imagined." She joked, touching his shoulder softly. Their eyes locked as they grinned to each other.

"Havok!" Raven announced.

"That's it. That's your name. Havok with a K because it's cooler."

"I like it," Bella nodded, turning to Alex.

"What do you say, Havok with a k?"

He grinned. "I like it too, but we still don't have a name for you."

Isabella's good mood plunged as every pair of eyes in the room landed on her, putting her right in the spotlight. Angel asked, "So what is it that you do?"

With a shrug, Isabella said, "I can turn invisible among other things."

"Damn, that's sick. how do you do it? is there a way I can? can I learn how to-," Sean rambled. Alex punched his shoulder, a motion telling him to shut up.

"No, it's only me." She started with a chuckle.

"And I essentially harness energy from the stars and use it to do whatever I need. I turn invisible, create forcefields and I can phase through things. I can also let other people turn invisible, as long as they are touching me in some way." She finished, eyes moving toward Alex subtly.

"That's pretty cool," Darwin said. "With the right training and practice, you could prevent wars if you create a forcefield big enough."

"Yeah, maybe one day," Isabella replied. She had always thought of things like that. Protecting people, though she knew Charles would never in a million years let her.

"Well, I think we've got your code name," Raven said, grinning at her sister. "We're going to call you Astrea."

authors note

oh how I love balex<3, btw Isabella has many nicknames loll, astrea pronounced ast-rey-ah

dont forget to comment !

#alex summers #alex summers x reader #lucas till #xmen fanfic #x reader #xmen #charles xavier x reader #erik lehnsherr x reader #raven darkholme #hank mccoy x reader #xmen x reader

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marie-swriting · 6 months ago

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Waste Of Time - Jake "Hangman" Seresin [1/2]

Top Gun Maverick Masterlist

Emails I Can't Send Masterlist

Part two

Part one - two (French version)

Summary : You can't stop reminiscing your relationship with Jake despite your break up.

Warnings : angst, sad ending, Jake being a dick, maybe some grammatical mistakes as English is not my first language, tell me if you see some or if I missed any warnings.

Word count : 1.9k

Song inspiration : Things I Wish You Said by Sabrina Carpenter

Sitting on your bed, you’re holding your phone in front of you with Jake’s contact picture on the screen. You’re so excited to talk to him again that you have a big smile on your face. You’re currently on deployment so you haven’t been able to communicate properly with your boyfriend for the past few days.

After a few seconds, Jake’s face appears and you see he’s sitting on his couch.

“Hey, I’m sorry for not calling earlier, it’s crazy out here.” you apologise.

“Don’t worry, I totally get how complicated it can be to call.”

“Anyway, what’s up?”

“Not much, it’s pretty calm.” Jake says before avoiding your gaze. “Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Sure, what is it?”

“I… Look,” he nervously starts and you stand up, fearing what’s about to come next, “I don’t know how to tell you this so I’m just gonna rip the bandage off; we should break up.”

“What? What are you talking about?”

“It’s not you, I swear, it’s me.”

“What kind of bullshit is this?” you say, angry and confused. “Everything is fine between us. I don’t understand why you want to break up. Did I do something?”

“No, like I said, it’s not you. I just want to focus on my career and-”

“And what? I’m some kind of distraction? You can’t be in a relationship and work like a big boy?” you retort, annoyed.

“You’re mad and I understand it but it’s for the better.” Jake calmly replies which makes you even angrier.

“Clearly.”

“Y/N, you’re a good person, I don’t want you to doubt it for one second.”

Jake’s sentence should bring you some kind of comfort and yet, it just makes you turn on him even more. You don’t even look at your phone anymore, a million emotions going through your head. You don’t know if you’re more devastated or mad. Understanding it’s of no use to insist, Jake sighs before talking one last time:

“I’m gonna leave you alone now.”

You glance at your phone again, waiting for Jake to say something else and yet, nothing comes. Jake doesn’t even add a “I’m sorry” before hanging up, leaving you in your bedroom alone and in a heavy silence. You keep your eyes on your phone, still in shock by what just happened. You can’t grasp it.

You met Jake four months ago and everything happened so quickly, but you both didn’t mind it. Some people tried to warn you by telling you about his reputation with women, nevertheless you ignored them. You and Jake clicked instantly and that’s what mattered. And also, you’re not going to lie, he knew how to get you hooked in one conversation. You felt like it was the same for him, that Jake was as attached to you as you were to him, now, you have some doubts. What bothers you the most is that your relationship was becoming more serious - until now. You were seeing each other whenever you could, you even talked about owning a house together. You had begun to imagine a future together and with just one phone call, Jake threw it all away.

That night, you don’t shed a tear. You tell yourself you made this phone call up. Though, the next morning, once you wake up without Jake’s usual morning text wishing you a good day, you realise it was, indeed, real and you break down the second you come home from work. Never had your heart known such heartbreak, it didn't see it coming.

Five months passed since this sinister call. Every night, your last conversation is stuck in your head, you think back to your relationship with Jake, searching for what you could have done wrong and the more you think about it, the more you realise you always put more energy in this relationship than Jake did. Now, you consider yourself stupid for hoping for something beautiful when you had been warned that Jake couldn’t commit to someone. You thought you were different. You are not. You find yourself even more pathetic because Jake is always in your head. Even when he’s not with you anymore, he still manages to make you waste your time.

Tonight is another proof of it. You ran into Jake at a Navy event. Unfortunately for you, you saw Jake there and now, here you are, laying on your bed, thinking back to him and this event and more specifically the moment you saw him in the parking lot when you left the party, a moment that won’t leave your mind for the next several days.

You went to this event without much conviction. You were accompanied by your new friend Scott whom you had met during your last mission.

At first, you didn’t want to be here, then you saw Jake and the second you recognised his laugh from the other end of the room, you wanted to run far away from the get-together. Scott, always a good friend, stayed by your side and distracted you. He even managed to make you laugh, although internally, your heart was breaking all over again. You didn’t talk to Jake all night. In fact, you didn’t even get close to him, you avoided him like the plague. You did until it was socially acceptable to leave the party. The second the evening began to wind down, you wanted to bolt far away from this place. While you were walking to your car, you found yourself face to face with Jake. At first, you both stood there, looking into each other’s eyes without talking and then, as you weren’t ready to confront him, you started to walk away to your vehicle when Jake held you back.

“Can we talk, please?”

“I don’t have anything to say to you, Jake.” you had told, on your guard.

“Yeah, I imagine talking to me is the last thing you want to do but I need to tell you something.”

“You said more than enough last time.” you had declared, turning on your heel to go in the opposite direction to him.

“Actually, I didn’t say enough. You deserve an apology.”

At his sentence, you turned to him, surprised. Getting an apology from Jake was the last thing you expected. You stood in front of him, your arms crossed over your chest as a way to show him you wouldn’t let him get under your skin so easily - when in reality, this felt like doing something impossible.

“I’m sorry I left you in the dark when I broke things off. I’m sorry I pulled the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’. It wasn’t fair to you. And I’m…” Jake had sighed, “you deserve a real apology, better than this one, though I had to, at least, tell you this. Maybe I’m going too far but I’d be happy to make it up to you correctly by meeting each other someday soon.”

“Jake, I don’t think it’s a good idea.” you had refused, looking down for a second. “But thanks for what you just told me, it’s always nice to hear it.”

Following your sentence, you thought the conversation was over so you took out your car keys from your purse when Jake’s voice resonated in the parking lot once more:

“Is it because of the guy you were with tonight that you turned me down? Have you guys been together for a long time?”

“Scott? He’s just a friend.”

“The way he made you laugh…,” Jake had scoffed, “it didn’t feel like you were just being friends.”

“And yet, there is nothing between us.” you had replied, defensive. “And anyway, why does it bother you so much? We’re not together anymore, do I have to remind you this was your decision?”

“And it was a dumb decision. I miss you so damn much!” He had exclaimed with a guilty look on his face. “God, you have no idea. Everything reminds me of you. The second one of your favourite artists is on the radio, I can still picture you singing the lyrics with a huge smile on your face. What I wouldn’t do to see that smile again!” he had added more softly. “Even now, I always reach for your leg over there on your side of the car then I realise you’re not here anymore because I fucked up. I’m watching everything that you do, every achievement you make, I make sure to know them. I’ve always known you were a damn good pilot but you keep impressing me. I should’ve realised the chance I had when I was with you before ruining it. I can’t move on, I can’t even stomach loving somebody else beside you.” Jake had confessed, taking a step towards you.

As soon as you saw him getting closer, you couldn’t help but look at his lips, oh, how you’ve missed those lips so much! Looking at him more carefully, you also noticed he wanted to touch you, too. Several times, his hands had almost reached over for yours, nonetheless he held himself back, not wanting to ruin anything with you by acting impulsively. Listening to Jake’s confession almost made you fall for him again and forget about the pain he caused you. Though, you stayed silent, knowing that if you opened your mouth, you wouldn’t know how to resist him. With a desperate voice, Jake tried to go all in by stating one last time:

“I swear if you gave me one last chance, I would do better for you. I will be the man you deserve, I won’t break your heart. I learned from my mistakes, I promise.”

“Jake, you hurt me.” you had said with a weak voice.

“I get it but if you ever were to change your mind, I’d always be free. Again, I’m sorry.”

With this last apology, Jake left you alone and you got in your car with teary eyes. You hold them back until you left the parking lot.

Unfortunately, this is not what happened.

You did run into Jake in the parking lot but he stayed silent. At one point, you thought he was about to say something nevertheless he just walked away, a guilty look on his face.

And here you are now, in your bed, fantasising about things you wish he said to you. Despite the break up five months ago, you’re still desperate for his love. Despite the pain he caused you, you yearn for his apologies, but especially you wish he’d still want you and even if in the scenario you made up, you refused to see Jake again, you know that once you would have gone home, you would have called him and said yes. You still love him and you wish you didn’t. He’s still playing with your feelings when he’s not even talking to you anymore. Your heart conspires against you by torturing you and making you long for a Jake who would know how to fix his mistakes and be the man you deserve. Yet, it’s of no use. Jake will never change and if he came back, it’d be just to play with your feelings before leaving you hanging again. You waste your time on idiotic things. It’s a waste of time to hope for him to change, it’s a waste of time to think of things he never said and things he’ll never say to you. Jake is a waste of time and you’re mad at yourself for dedicating so much time of your life for a man who stopped thinking about you a long time ago. You just hope one day you’ll be able to feel lighter, away from Jake and your feelings for him.

Top Gun Maverick Masterlist

Part two

Emails I Can't Send Masterlist

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youledmehere · 7 months ago

Note

I shared this message with a few blogs that I love ❤️ coz I would love to hear your thoughts.

Hopefully my understanding is correct as English is not my first language so I apologise in advance 😅

I watched the TOWL 92NY panel and there’re a few things that I picked up.

1. Gimple wanting Ep 4 to be a live episode. I know it’s probably because it’s written like a play and it would be a crazy and amazing experience to witness that live. But also, knowing Gimple is a huge Richonne fan, did he also want all those strong emotions like the panic attack during the sexy scenes to be included 👀 I’m not surprised if he did. The ticket sales will be insane.

2. Andy was saying that Danai gave him notes but it got “lost in translation over the Atlantic” lol. And he really can’t talk about it and it’s also for episode 4. I hope they will bring it up in future panels. I wanna know which scene it was and what about.

And side note, how do we push AMC to campaign for these two brilliant people to win all the awards next year.

hiii no worries ur english is fine! 💕

- i haven’t watched the whole panel all the way through but I saw some clips and definitely saw when gimple said that LOL. he was so crazy for even suggesting that but danai’s reaction to that idea was also funny. i think it’s like you said she’s known for being a talented playwright and gimple has stayed praising her work for episode four. i haven’t seen a lot of plays in general so idk how love scenes work in that medium but it was also essential to the story so yeah it would definitely be included still! (and would’ve still been 🔥🔥) despite some of his other choices he’s been a strong richonne supporter from the beginning so it’s no surprise he chose to single out that episode

-idk if they’ll ever bring it up again and this is total speculation on my part, in an EW article after ep4 they’ve both talked about the love scene and there was some discussions about the panic attack moment

maybe this is what he meant?? i know danai researched about PTSD a lot so maybe it couldve just been notes about that but that seems pretty straightforward. the more emotional stuff seems like it would’ve been interpreted in different ways so i could see a back and forth happening with that. but IDK. maybe sometime in the future they’ll talk more about all the episodes in depth and they could speak more freely since they won’t have to avoid spoilers

ANNNND lucky for us amc actually submitted TOWL for emmys!!! andy and danai for lead actor/actress in a limited series as well as best writing/directing for episode four!! so hopefully this is finally their time to receive praise for their amazing work. it’s lonnnnnnng overdue. ❤️‍🔥

#need them to secure those nominations 🙏#the ones who live #richonne #asks

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deadcactuswalking · 1 month ago

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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 19/10/2024 (Sabrina Carpenter, JENNIE, Brat Remix Album)

For an eighth week, bringing Sabrina’s annual total to 20 weeks at #1 this year (a feat not reached since Frankie Laine), “Taste” sticks to the top spot of the UK Singles Chart, and we’ve got another goofy week where our new entries aren’t really the main point of interest. Welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

content warning: language, way more sex references than normal

Rundown

As always, we start the episode with our notable dropouts, those being songs that exit from the UK Top 75 – which is what I cover – after five weeks in the region or a peak in the top 40. This week, we bid adieu to: “Going Crazy” by Nines with uncredited vocals from LEILAH, “Black Friday (pretty like the sun)” by Lost Frequencies remixing Tom Odell, “Numb” by Linkin Park, “we can’t be friends (wait for your love)” by Ariana Grande and “I Can Do it with a Broken Heart” by Taylor Swift.

Now we also have two more songs dropping out that may be of more interest, specifically the premature dropouts for Charli xcx’s “Talk talk”, featuring Troye Sivan and an uncredited Dua Lipa on the remix, and “Guess”, her former #1 hit with Billie Eilish on the remix. These singles from Charli’s album would hypothetically have a boost given the release of her deluxe remix edition of BRAT, which I wrote about on my RateYourMusic listening log if you want more in-depth thoughts there, since there are actually no debuts from it. Instead, Brat and it’s completely different but also still brat has not only pumped its parent release to the top of the albums chart with no T-Swizzle to block it this time, but due to a three-song rule in the UK Singles Chart, it’s created what I can only call a switcheroo for songs that had charted before, but are now doing so in remix form. In that regard, we welcome back “360” at #20. The original peaked at #11, its book-end album closer counterpart “365” reached #63. As with many of the remixed versions, I far prefer the originals in both cases, but it is of course noteworthy to point out that Swedes Yung Lean and Robyn feature on the fragmented, awkward “360” remix that works pretty wearingly as an album opener; I used to prefer it, but now, I find it just okay. The Official Charts Company has not credited them, and the case rings true for “Apple” at #11, which was still charting but takes a boost to #11. Previously peaking at #8, the remix would be the first chart appearance for English indie singer-songwriter Amber Bain, known as “The Japanese House”. For new fans, I remember listening to her 2019 debut Good at Falling and whilst I fell off the ship at some point, there’s definitely stuff worth hearing there. I’d probably like it even more now. However, OCC decided to credit only one of the guest remix artists, that being Ariana Grande who grants a new peak with her… completely serviceable but uninteresting remix of the great “Sympathy is a knife”. Originally peaking at #56, Ari takes it straight to #7 off of the return, and it’s not the only new top 10 entry this week.

We do have a fair few non-Brat gains and returns too, namely “Viva la Vida” by Coldplay taking the space of one of their new singles at #72, “Scared to Start” by Mchael Marcagi restarting at #70, “NEW DROP” by Don Toliver coming back at #69 and I have a feeling this will be one of those songs that just comes back and forth, then Andy C and Becky Hill seeing a return to #66 with “Indestructible”, thanks to a remix from drum and bass DJ Disrupta that OCC seems to think is a new song. Congratulations to Disrupta for his first chart entry… I suppose… if you count formatting errors and misremembering chart positions as valid debuts, the remix is fine. You know what’s not? “Riptide” by Vance Joy up to #61, but our other gains see boosts for “Iris” by the Goo Goo Dolls at #59, “KEHLANI” by Jordan Adetunji at #58, “Cruel Summer” by Taylor Swift at #52, “Free” by Calvin Harris and Ellie Goulding at #47, “Austin (Boots Stop Workin’)” by Dasha at #40, “Don’t Dream it’s Over” by Crowded House at #32, “Move” by Adam Port, Stryv and Malachiii at #10, with all acts gaining their first top 10 thanks in part to an uncredited Camila Cabello remix, and Trippie Redd also grabbing his first with, you guessed it, KSI on “Thick of It” at #8, its Prime position thus far.

As for our top five on this week’s UK Singles Chart, we start with “Somedays” by Sonny Fodera, Jazzy and D.O.D at a new peak of #5, followed by another new peak for Gracie Abrams at #4 with “I Love You, I’m Sorry”… can’t say I’m too over the Moon about either of these in the top five, but I am pretty happy with “Sailor Song” by Gigi Perez making it up to #3, then of course, “Die with a Smile” by Lady Gaga and Bruno Mars as the runner-up at #2 to Sabrina once again at #1 with “Taste”. Now we’ll have more on Sabrina later, but for now, let’s take a look-see at what’s below her.

New Entries

#74 – “Why Lie?” – Skepta and Flo Milli

Produced by Lex Luger, PotentGYFT, Kesh and Carson Hackney

I am of the opinion that Skepta would have much more respect in general music-loving audiences for his influence, talent, catalogue and unique approach to hip hop production if he didn’t fuck around in questionable, perpetually brow-raising side quests, but oddly, he would lose some of my respect if he stopped doing that. He’s constantly got a look out for new collaborators and new sounds to crib from, and even when he doesn’t fully understand it, he’ll co-opt it, well-intentionally, and make… something of it. I figured that maybe the recent Ryder remixes and his EDM tracks, including a remix of Amy Winehouse, would push him into ambient house territory or something, but he quickly disproved that by just dropping whatever. After his latest track to chart, “Gas Me Up (Diligent)”, itself some AWGE-adjacent cloud-trap, he released an Afrobeats track with JAE5 and then got on a bit of a sexy drill kick (he’s just like me, for real). These singles are all potentially from an upcoming album, but would be confusing as a whole package, as he equipped PoWR Trav for the R2R Moe and Jorja Smith-assisted “Miss Independent”, using typical Cash Cobain-esque tense drum patterns and buzzy bass over a distant R&B sample, whilst Skepta raps mostly about sex, sometimes in too much detail. I’m not ageist, and Skep’ looks great, but I’m not always looking for middle-aged sex raps.

Relationships are once again the topic on “Why Lie?” but after going through Afrobeats and sexy drill, he’s chasing after yet another bubbling trend in not-exactly-mainstream-yet hip hop, “new jazz”, a trap subgenre taking a chiller approach to rage synthwork with much more wonkiness. Alabama rapper Flo Milli, herself no stranger to switching genre, has been recruited here for a duet that involves Skeppy getting into a Young Adz-level faletto on the chorus as Milli’s breathily cooing below him, then interchanging bars on a beat that has tiny details that never take up too much space, still leaving it slightly empty, to fit for the sheer amount of vocal layers and filters present, often somewhat extraneous and occasionally acting as arbitrary censorship. The main conceit of the song is that Skep’ thinks that Milli’s probably cheating, but doesn’t seem to care too much, because after a while, the sex is good enough for their slightly frayed connection to repair itself. Neither rapper will admit to lying to each other in the relationship, but are under the impression that if they really love each other, they’re just going to sugarcoat all the problems in the relationship anyway, and not think about the toxicities too deeply. It’s a really unique and honestly somewhat depressing relationship dynamic portrayed here, with the immediate contradictions present being pointed out and laid out quite openly. Milli is desperate to have sex after Skepta’s exhausting live show despite wanting to “take it slow”, both acts seem to care more about money accumulation than each other but still hold hope in the strength of their love – it’s not the most subtle song about relationships, but it allows for a lot of good trade-off displaying both the charming sensuality of Flo Milli and the chinks hidden in Skepta’s noble façade.

As far as my opinion on the song overall, I love the squelchy bass sound and the delayed feeling of the chorus coming in that fits the whole song having a staggered sense to its bass hits, sloppier drum programming and cascading, shimmering melodies, forming sonically the sound of this fragmented relationship they seem to work through in real time. This wonkiness is clearly cribbed in part from the similarly messy 2000s pop-rap classic “What’s it Gonna Be?!” with Busta Rhymes and Janet Jackson, which “Why Lie?” subtly samples. The chorus is genuinely hilarious as well as an earworm, with Skepta lamenting to his boys in an auto-croon that she’s probably having sex with another man, before a deadpan ad-lib that “She might as well” preludes his one-line falsetto run about he’s going to go on a business trip anyway, leaving her in the dust. There are doorbell sound effects, some of the best ad-libs on the chart – Skepta ending the hook by whispering “(Sex)” is such a stupid detail – and the overt detail in the analogy that the sex was so emotional that not only did he nearly shed a tear, but she “cried” too if you get the jist. Skep’s verse has the bass clunkily fall over him right after he details the outright falsehood that Flo Milli is a “ride-or-die” type and throughout, his flow is about as slippery… I’m not going to complete that sentence.

I love how the final chorus is led in without the drums by Flo’s panned whispering too, as the song is structurally all over the place but proud enough of that fact to add these quirky details, including some that seem improvised – Skep’ interrupts his verse to ask his mic to be turned up in a way that shouldn’t fit the flow or content, even rhyme scheme, at all, but works out because its execution is as chaotic and befuzzling as the relationship it depicts. I didn’t expect to be discussing this song at all, in all honesty, let alone in this much detail, as it has barely charted in the first place, but this is one of my favourite songs of the year, absolutely some of the most fun I’ve had with pop-rap in a year that has either had little of it or peppered with detailed interpersonal conflict. I hope that it can become a hit, because it absolutely could get radio play or become a meme… if not both. Check it out.

#60 – “The Days” – Chrystal

Produced by Chrystal and Billen Ted

Billen Ted, probably best known for the “Wellerman” remix, have found a new vehicle in the slow-burn breakout single for Chrystal. Though active since 2014, with a remix of their 2015 debut single “All Ur Love” being the only other reasonable success for them on streaming services, Chrystal has, from my understanding, largely kept a low profile, with this new song having crept up to the top 75 after a few weeks bubbling under, though it may be reminiscent of a larger trend. We’ve seen with nimino, PAWSA and a few other stray songs that weirder, more insular, often old-school and sometimes minimal house music by lesser-known artists, possibly thanks in part to the experimentation and innovation of acts like Fred again.., is starting to solidify a place in the lower reaches of the UK charts, and it’s been relatively hit and miss so far, which is understandable. These are lower-budget, very much lower-profile acts who bring their relative anonymity to the basic rhythms and airy atmospheres of their music, and “The Days” is no different. The cheap, dime-a-dozen four-on-the-floor beats sound exhausted especially with all the swooshing effects phasing in and out, and Chrystal themselves, assuming they’re the one singing, reminisces about chilling, smoking, having their partner’s favourite show on the background, and wanting to relive that whilst having some uncertainty about if that relationship is actually what it seems. I love the vocal filter that makes her distant in the pre-chorus, resembling the audio qualities of a post-chorus, the basic and desperate plead of “Do you?” acting as the “drop” or “hook” when in reality, like “TOO COOL TO BE CARELESS”, which has grown on me, there’s not much of a drop or hook at all, as the song builds about as lethargically as EDM possibly could. Stuttering synth bloops and a heavier, fuzzy bass are about as detailed as this song gets, and I find it honestly fascinating how empty the song is. These types of house jams we’re seeing always end up on a bittersweet note due to the woozy nonchalance with which they’re structured and produced, and whilst I’m not always a fan, not only is it funny to see those lazy Nate Dogg remixes that popped up turn into something worthwhile, but it’ll be interesting to see if this obscure phenomenon continues into a larger trend.

#37 – “Mantra” – JENNIE

Produced by JUMPA, El Guincho, Șerban Cazan and Jelli Dorman

Another week, another K-pop track that will probably not last too long but makes for a smashing top 40 debut, this time yet another latch at solo stardom from a BLACKPINK solo member. Though I’ve found it difficult to distinguish the girls as solo artists thanks to a lack of cohesive sound, they are at least more interesting on average than the BTS solo attempts, and yeah, this is about as chaotic as you could expect. Billed as a “pretty girl mantra”, JENNIE’s condescending sing-songy chorus is intensified by a stretching, nigh-indecipherable loop pushed to the back of the mix by a bunch of sounds, including an obnoxious stab of keys and horns, heavily involved bassy rhythm section and JENNIE herself, whose melodic ad-libs are fighting for attention with not just her own multi-tracking but stray “hey” vocal blips, a spray of house bass synth, and a cascading plunge into atmospheric synth mess… until that chorus brings the focus back into a different kind of chaos. Hell, it even has a set of panning cowbells that don’t let up once JENNIE starts singing the busier post-chorus, with a multi-tracked half-belt at the end making way for some of the most detailed and confusing vocal production I’ve heard on the charts in a while. Several layers of “oh” harmonies plate up below twinkling takes of breathy cooing, bordering on whispering, and just actual breathing, that never fully swings back into a full register. That little detail is particularly interesting given how much of the song is confident flexing, perhaps hinting that the light she scoffs at having dimmed may have gone off after all. Whilst substanceless lyrically, it has less awkward turns of phrase than a typical English-language BLACKPINK track, though I'm raising an eyebrow at how she'll supposedly turn me bisexual, and it goes for a more specific sound that could actually form unique character rather than an aping of other songs or artists that K-pop acts sometimes fall into when chasing western trends. It works as more of an amalgamation in a charmingly messy way, and that’s where K-pop acts tend to be at their best for me: embracing styles and genres in an endless pile-up that goes for shock and drastic twists and turns whilst retaining incessant hooks. “Mantra” falls squarely into that category, and is actually her second I’ve enjoyed after “You & Me” – given the BLACKPINK girls have been all over the place but often leaving a positive impression nowadays, I am interested in where any of these careers end up next, if the most reasonable angle isn’t to branch them all back together.

#9 – “Bed Chem” – Sabrina Carpenter

Produced by John Ryan and Ian Kirkpatrick

When I first listened to Short n’ Sweet, this song stood out as probably one of my least favourites, along with “Please Please Please”. Both have grown on me, so it makes it quite a fun coincidence that this week has swapped out the latter for “Bed Chem”, in yet another example of the silly three-song rule. I’m not necessarily complaining here: “Please” is still definitely a dud, just less so than I initially thought, whilst “Bed Chem” has won me over completely, mostly for the reasons that I disliked it in the first place. Sure, it’s cheesy and awkward in its heavy-handed sexual chemistry, framed in the context of her first meeting with her new partner, who in this case may specifically be her real-life partner, Irish actor Barry Keoghan, whose “thick accent” is mentioned in the pre-chorus. I may find the pitch-shifted vocal detail unbefitting for the otherwise vague attempt at organic soft rock, but it’s easily ignorable and the unnatural elements of the production overall, including the sprinkling sound effects and Sabrina herself, whose high-register chorus is so shrill and over-programmed that it used to just annoy me, and honestly still catches me by surprise, being genuinely a bit difficult to listen to for me in that hook. Surely, I wouldn’t rate it highly because of that... but aren’t people newly in a relationship all over each other and never out of each other’s mouths (in all possible ways that I could mean by that) always a bit annoying to the observer? The meek hints towards explicit lyrics are purposefully straight out of a PG-13 romcom, with audience chatter in the outro furthering the idea that this is all just a humorous portrayal of lovestruck youths, with all the awkwardly sexual banter and shimmering optimism intact. Sure, it’s not her most nuanced song emotionally, not that nuance has ever been Sabrina’s calling card, but it’s a lot of fun, needlessly catchy and an understandable fan favourite that I’m sure is both hilarious and incredibly difficult to perform live. With this as a replacement, Sabrina’s currently three for three for me in regards to her charting singles.

Conclusion

Weird week, but ultimately one pretty defined by a youthful chaos and attention to detail, that led to four frankly great songs – yes, every one, to the point where I can’t give out a Worst of the Week. Best of the Week goes to Skepta and Flo Milli, however, pretty easily, for “Why Lie?” as it takes ownership of its elements in a way that leans heavily into a narrative, placing it above JENNIE and just having more to it than Sabrina. Meanwhile, the isolated-feeling “The Days” by Chrystal takes the Honourable Mention for its uniquely muted sound that builds its own manic energy with so few elements that it has me really curious about the future of its genre. So, after this fantastic week, what’s to expect from next? Well, God forbid, we might have Yeat, but I consider it more likely that JADE or fellow BLACKPINKer ROSÉ show up, alongside maybe something from Kylie Minogue or Rag’n’Bone Man. Time will tell, however, and for now, thank you for reading, rest in peace to Liam Payne of One Direction, and I’ll see you next week!

#uk singles chart #pop music #song review #skepta #flo milli #why lie?#brat and it’s completely different but also still brat #blackpink jennie #sabrina carpenter #chrystal

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ilovemariobrosss · 2 years ago

Text

Luigi and his Dad

(and how this shows Luigi's character)

I was recently rewatching the Mario movie and I thought I should talk about Luigi and his father, and how that plays into Luigi's character and his dynamic with Mario. Since mostly everyone talks about Mario and their dad. So here goes!!

This is all my opinion and how interpret how their kind of... Dynamic?? World view?? Is -- viewed?? Idk ALSO THIS IS MORE ABOUT LUIGIS CHARACTER and how his father's relationship with him shows it. (I will probably state this a billion times in this essay but I'm dumb so pls don't fight me)

Ok! I would like to claim that their father doesn't really acknowledge Luigi as anything special, or worth noting compared to Mario atleast, which he sees as his problem child, or star child (depending on how he's feeling) in my opinion. Now this isn't good or bad. He just sees Luigi as this normal and good guy, which is fine. (Not really kinda) And I know this sounds harsh but I have a few reasons as to why I believe so!

One of their first and only exchanges at the dinner table (from their first day at their new job might I add) is where Luigi enthusiastically states,

"I like mushrooms, I'll take it!" His father replies passively with "Yeah!" while looking at Mario.

this very simple gesture can be interpreted as Luigi only being there to encourage Mario. Because the only reason Luigi and his dad even talked in the first place was because Mario didn't like the mushrooms. Not because he asked if Luigi liked Mushrooms or not. I know I'm like wayyyy psycho analyzing this but it's like the only direct dialogue they have in the entire movie so that alone is worth noting in my opinion.

In this same scene, Their father remarks to Mario,

"You don't leave a steady job for some crazy dream! And the worst part? You're bringing your brother down with you."

This implies that their dad thinks that Mario roped Luigi into this business-- Luigi was following Mario -- and if Mario is failing in it, then so is Luigi.

He's basically saying that Mario's failures causes Luigi's faults simply because they're working together. (which we all know isn't true) but he thinks so! and this also implies that Luigi isn't known for doing much for himself.

As we, unfortunately, DO see Luigi following Mario and quite literally being dragged by him into the streets of Brooklyn down a pipe,

and that does cause Luigi's downfall as he's trapped above lava for about 2 days (BUT WE AREN'T GOING TO TALK ABOUT THAT)

And if Mario is at fault for Luigi being practically tortured, it doesn't matter because their dad still sees Mario and Luigi in this light either way.

Simply put, Mario is the screw-up who doesn't know when to throw in the towel. And Luigi is, well, just the little brother who follows him.

There's nothing special about him, aside from being wimpy.

At least Mario has some shining attributes, He seems to have trophies on his bed, He's a go-getter, and he has dreams that he's more than willing to fight for.

But does Luigi have those same dreams? or is that only because Mario had that dream of becoming a plumber?

And sure, Luigi has good traits too, he's sensitive, encouraging, and sweet. But there's not much else that others see atleast.

Mario is a much more interesting person, he takes risks and swoops at every opportunity he gets. But that makes Luigi look second rate. And on top of that skittishness of his? Oof. Double whammy. Side by side, one obviously looks stronger willed than the other.

We can see that the brother's infamous phrase

"As long as we're together everything will be ok"

really shines through because it seems that if they were stripped apart, Mario and Luigi have no idea what to do. Because Luigi literally doesn't. He waits for Mario to come get him or he waits to die. And I KNOW this is a far stretch but this could totally play into his character.

Without Mario, Who is he? Since the beginning, they've been The Super Mario Brothers. And the same goes for Mario, who is he without Luigi?

The world would know that he's Mario, the kid whose desires are bigger than what he can see. But to Mario personally, his brother is everything to him, he doesn't care about what others think (usually).

The entire movie is just Mario trying to get his baby brother back home. But Luigi doesn't have any unique traits that we can see in the Mario Movie. But to Luigi personally, and Mario, They know he's so much more. But to the outside Luigi is just Mario's brother- who gets kidnapped. And Mario is the hero that saves the day.

And, back on track, Mario and Luigi's dad knows this.

His relationship with Luigi (in my .. deranged opinion) is kind of like the mascot of How the World sees Luigi. With Their dad being the world, and Luigi being Luigi.

Their father knows that Mario is kind of too silly for his own good, and Luigi willingly follows along which leads them both into trouble. But with Marios temperament, He's the one coming up with the solutions. And Luigi kind of just panics off to the side, ofcourse he helps, but everyone knows Mario has the plan.

------->

AND THAT MY FRIENDS!!! is,,, kind of how I interpreted Luigi's Character (thanks to their father) I was going to add the end credit scene where their dad Is proud of them. And that Lowkey would've helped my case even more. But then someone could also argue that, Mario is also this huge nobody so him finally getting recognition is GOOD. and not just because he's this strong hero.

But you CAN GO EITHER WAY. this is just MY OPINION!!!! ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️🔥🔥🔥🔥‼️‼️

and for the record I Do not think Mario and Luigi's relationship is super dependent, they just love eachother and don't want to see the other get hurt 💔💔 But Luigi DOES need to MAYBE??? work on his self worth or his independence. BUT it makes great story and I wouldn't change a thing tbh 👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼 thanks for reading if you made it this farrr

#luigi #mario #marios dad #luigis dad #super mario bros #the super mario brothers movie #super mario bros movie #the super mario bros movie spoilers #analysis

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livvyofthelake · 7 months ago

Note

please talk about your fuckass book you just finished <3

ok yay :) i literally neeeeeed to talk about it in relation to other books i’ve read recently so that’s what i’m gonna do here i heart making every book a conversation with each other… so you’ll all have to forgive me for comparing call me by your name to the dream thieves of raven cycle fame but i need to. its a comparison that literally begs to be spoken about. to me. i also need to compare it to the secret history and the sun and the star and most importantly. well we all saw the timeless video. we need to get into that as well!!

obviously what sets it apart from all of my genre bullshit is that it is NOT genre bullshit, like it's just set in italy 1983 in the normal universe. which made it one of the most unique books i've read this year to be honest and real.... i have NOT been reading normal ass books... earlier i compared elio's narration to the great gatsby but i literally have just only read very few real world narrative novels i've got gatsby, richard, and this i guess. i'm working on it though!

anyway it was veryyy richard core in the sense that it's being narrated from some point in the future where elio is reflecting on that summer and oliver and what it meant to his life at large, where richard does the same thing with narrating his time at college with his greek class and bunny's murder. reflecting on two very different things unless you wanna look at it with the keen eye of a total nutcase and then i could say that they're both simply reflecting on what it was like to be seen and known by someone who turned out to not be what you hoped and you didn't end up with him despite it all. richard papen you would have loveddd call me by your name... wow. elio pearlman you would have loved the secret history...

it was ALSO very the dream thieves core in the sense that um. well me when i'm gay and having kind of a hard time working with that and there's a guy who's just like me in a bad way who wants to fuck me so bad we both look stupid as hell... but through it all there is the through line of intimacy that comes from being Recognized… rip joseph kavinsky you would have LOVED call me by your name!!!!!!!!!!! (would ronan lynch love cmbyn? well no!)

i ALSO only wanted to talk about it in relation to the sun and the star because they’re both like. ok Gay Representation is not a genre but they’re both books about gay people that i read recently so like. yeah. it’s crazy how glaring the difference between those two books is for things that both get tagged “lgbtq+” on storygraph or however many of those letters that website uses idk. like one of them is clearly written so some dude could pat himself on the back for giving the kiddos Representation in his stupid ass franchise and the other is just some fuckass book written by a totalllll freak that happens to be about gay people. in essence one made me so mad to read and the other was fine. i would never go so far as to describe a man’s work as great though. chappell roan voice i don’t think men make good art. !!! and i really believe that sorry. when a man impresses me i will let you all know but it is very rare…

which brings us to the timeless video. for everyone who somehow missed that that means (you’re fake btw 🙄) the timeless video is an amv i made last summer when i wanted to make an amv for my guys from my books but obviously they’re from books. so what i did instead was gather a bunch of characters from movies and shows that reminded me of MY guys and edit them to taylor swift’s timeless. because it’s like. other lives and i see them in everything. anyway so elio and oliver made it into the timeless video despite all the sort of mean stuff i’ve said about oliver lately (not even my fault he fuckin sucks btw) and the fact that their relationship is not like. Endgame. BECAUSE of my favorite scene. from the movie not the book. this scene was lame as hell in the book it’s the part that made me go wow i think perhaps the film is much better!! the “is it better to speak or to die” scene… i talked about it earlier but genuinely that happened to my buddy kit herondale…. and then he said something and it didn’t go very well!!!!

anyway. yay i <3 blogging on my break at work!

#asks #and also blogging on the clock!

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rekikiri · 8 months ago

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1. Rant to me about a book you absolutely hate!!!!!! (For the ask game)

ahhh I’m so glad you picked this one!! Thanks for the ask!

so I don’t have a lot of books I can think of that I hated but the first to come to mind that I hated (and finished) was She Drives Me Crazy by Kelly Quindlen (warning that this got super long so I’m doing a see more for it)

let me preface this that it is my opinion and if you like it that is totally fine!! also spoiler warning

okay for starters, fake dating is something I enjoy quite a bit! I really love fake dating, but I’m usually not a huge fan if it is to make someone else jealous tho which is a big part of Scottie’s motivation, so already off to a bad start.

Scottie is the main character here. Her and irene are supposedly enemies, but the events that make them hate each other are just not comparable to me. The reason Scottie hated Irene was LITERALLY A MISCOMMUNICATION. It would’ve been so quick and easy to clear it up but instead she hated Irene and was so mean to her (explained later)

There’s an incident at the start of the series where there’s a small car accident between the two and Irene needs her car repaired. Irene’s mom insisted that she had to pay for it, and to do so she would’ve likely need to quit cheer to get a job to cover it. So in the meantime, they’re carpooling. Scottie and her girlfriend had broken up not long before the book starts so Scottie offers to pay Irene $1000 to fake date her to make her ex jealous (which is just insane, you are 17 years old, a relationship is not worth it if you are needing to spend money to fake date a pretty girl to make her jealous). They only even broke up because her girlfriend was moved to another school haha not even out of STATE just a little bit away.

Scottie talks about Irene being mean but she really isn’t?? Like Scottie is so much meaner to Irene and is super judgmental.

Here are some examples of things scottie did to Irene (using a book review to confirm my info for this because I read this like 2+ years ago and it just has stuck with me so might be some slight inaccuracies)

1. Tells irene she is “too stupid” and that’s why she didn’t get into an AP class

2. Purposefully makes Irene spill her coffee on herself while driving her to school (then does the stupid ‘name three songs’ thing about the Green Day shirt Irene was wearing)

3. Said its misogynistic that cheerleaders always cheered for the boys sports and told Irene that cheer wasn’t a real sport anyways (multiple times) and insists that she didn’t deserve the student athlete of the year award even tho she worked her ass off to deserve it (and damn if that ain’t some misogynistic bullshit if you ask me)

Here’s a quote I found in the reviews that is a big reason why I fucking hate scottie

"It's not my fault you're so fucking insecure about being a cheerleader or that no one, including your own mother, takes you seriously about it."

That’s just so fucked up, I’m sorry. I would never fucking date her if she said that shit to me

NOT TO MENTION

Wanna know what Irene did that was supposedly so awful?

Had Scottie’s car towed. And it wasn’t even malicious! She accidentally had Scottie’s car towed when she was trying to have someone else’s towed to prevent them from driving drunk after a party they were at. Like if I were Scottie id be pretty pissed but like ? Just make her pay the fucking fee to get it back. Don’t need to be a huge bitch about it. She would’ve known it was an accident too if she just TALKED TO HER, but no, decided Irene was her worst enemy ever

And we find out about what happened after Scottie kissed her ex at a party after her and irene are sorta getting together for real, and brings the car issue up when irene is upset with her for it. Like I’m sorry you’re only going to bring up the awful “oh you towed my car” thing when you just kissed your ex when you’re with her??? Nope not comparable whatsoever I’m sorry

AND when she asked Irene to fake date her, Irene wasn’t out!! She was out to her family but Scottie really put her in a shitty situation with her offer. She either had to get a job and quit cheer (which if I remember correctly was how she planned to get a college scholarship!!!) OR she could fake date this mean girl for money and out herself in the process. I hated that and that’s only the smallest of things

Small thing too is that apparently the book was set where I live?? Funny that it even mentions where they are from because I have not a single memory of any specific thing that would make me think it is set here haha

Anyways yeah if you made it this far, thank you for hearing my bitchy book thoughts. I cannot think of a single other book that I’ve read start to finish that I dislike enough to say this much about it (I’m very good at knowing if ill hate a book before I start it and I’m very easy to please as is)

#ask game #yes-I-exist-shutup ask

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soulsxng · 1 year ago

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4. Favourite thing about roleplaying?

17. Least favourite trope?

@arcxnumvitae | It's a (belated) Munday | No longer accepting!

4. Favorite thing about roleplaying?

The people I've met! Though in some cases, people are also my least favorite thing, too. Anyway, I've met quite a few friends on here in the time that I've been around. Like...it's crazy to think that I've actually known some friends on here for longer than I've been married? And I've known a few since I was still in animal behavior school, which is even more wild. It doesn't feel like it's been that long at all!

Still, it's been a lot of fun, and I'm glad that I've been able to meet so many cool people while doing something that I enjoy!

If that's a cop out though, then I would probably say worldbuilding? I have a lot of fun with it on my own, but being able to meld that with the worldbuilding my partner has going for their own universe? Chef's kiss, it really just makes it even better.

17. Least favorite trope?

It's hard to pick just one, so here are some of the main ones that irk me: "Love fixes everything", "Villain is evil SOLELY because they're mentally ill", "Every Other Character Has to Love/Hate This Character or They're Wrong", aaaand "There is no such thing as a platonic relationship, and breakups are illegal"

I have some issues with romantic tropes, if you can't tell by the first and last things (and I guess the third in some cases) lmao. I think it's more than I'm just picky, though? It just bothers me when all of the attention is put on the romance and THAT'S IT, you know? A lot of times, when characters get into a romantic relationship too, it's like...that's the only character you see them with after that. As if that's the only relationship they need/that matters all of a sudden.

It's kind of the same thing with breakups. I know that with writing, there has to be some drama or it gets boring, but...there's so many cases where romantic relationships are viewed as Final. And if one of the involved parties wants to break it off for any reason short of flat out abuse, they're viewed as the asshole by everyone. Or it's just extremely one sided, like "Oh, A is a dick and treats B poorly, so of course B would break up with them!"

And I'm not even trying to say that all breakups need to be amicable or whatever! I don't mind messy breakups, but it's nice when sometimes both parties were at fault!

With the second one, that's fairly self explanatory. Especially with the "Villain has DID/schizophrenia so they're obviously evil/dangerous, and totally unhinged" branch of the trope. It bugs me.

And then with the third one is also fairly self explanatory. It's just irritating, I dunno. I don't mind if a character is supposed to be perfect, and lovable, and whatever, that's fine. It's when it's expected for that character to be adored by all, nobody can bring themselves to stand against them, blah blah blah, etc, etc. when it starts to get on my nerves. Especially when other characters then view the one that doesn't adore said character as evil, or a bad person or whatever just because they don't care for the "perfect" character. Same thing with characters that are supposed to be hated by everyone.

Which is similar to my hatred for the "I did something bad/I did something that hurt someone(s), but everyone still has to forgive me, otherwise they're unreasonable." trope. Maybe it's just because I'm low sleep, so words aren't wording well right now, but I can't even really tell you why it bothers me so much. It just does.

#[what is she getting us into now? -ooc-]#(least favorite tropes always gets me going asdlkfnas #so I wrote a whole bunch sorry)

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ericshotwell · 2 years ago

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27 Christmas Songs I Hate

(My annual expanded list, updated for 2022.)

First let me say that I love Christmas music. I've been known to play Christmas music in the summer or at other odd times of the year; Traditional, classical, pop, even "novelty" songs. But there are a select few songs that I cannot stand, and which the radio stations all seem to bring out every year. I find it hard to believe that there are people who actually like some of these songs.

So... welcome to my annually-updated list of Christmas songs I detest. This list has grown significantly over the years. If I'm in my car, I change the station the moment I hear any of these on the radio. How about you? Read on... I bet you’ll find at least a few we can agree to hate together.

1: John Lennon, Happy Xmas (War Is Over). The rhymes are as forced as they can be. I know there are people who revere John, but the horrible lines "And so happy Christmas / For black and for white / For yellow and red ones / Let's stop all the fight" prove that he wasn't always a great song-writer. And the Harlem Community Choir can't cover up Yoko's screeching, either. Right now, this is the #1 song that gets me to change the station. Yes, I appreciate the sentiment and believe peace on earth is a worthy goal. I just don't want this song to be the anthem.

2: Paul McCartney, Wonderful Christmas Time. What a horrible song. The very first note makes me cringe. And it will stick in your head, which makes it worse. In 2012 he went on SNL and played it live. It was just as bad. Why do people like this crap?

3: Whitney Houston, Do You Hear What I Hear? With all due respect for the departed Miss Houston... first off, the song is supposed to be reverent, not a belt-it-out blockbuster. Second, the phrase she sings "Pray for peace and people everywhere" is not how the song goes. The line is "Pray for peace, people everywhere." Totally changes the meaning from being a call to prayer for all people, to being a prayer *for* people. It's a fine semantic point -- almost trivial -- but it drives me absolutely crazy.

4: Beach Boys, Little Saint Nick. I hate the Beach Boys. But I hate their faux-Christmas music even more. This comes on, radio goes off. Same with any other Beach Boys Christmas song. See also #18 on this list.

5: James Taylor, Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas. OK, here's the biggest offender in the "I re-wrote a classic song for no apparent reason" category. James sings the line "Have yourself a merry little Christmas, may your heart be light..." which is okay even though he substitutes the word "may" for "let" which I think is a subtle change for the worse -- and I realize that's pedantic of me -- but THEN he kills the song completely with "In a year, our troubles will be out of sight." Wait a minute, in a fricking YEAR? The song is supposed to be "from now on." Apparently James is so bummed out by this Christmas that he's waiting for the next one instead. From now on our troubles will be out of sight is so much more hopeful. James wants us to put up with crappy troubles for another year. (And after the last few years,I don't want to wait another year for my troubles to be out of sight.)

6: Hall and Oates, Jingle Bell Rock. It's Hall and Oates. Although if you ever get a chance to watch the video for this, do it. It's so cheesy that it actually improves the song.

7: Michael Bolton, White Christmas. If he strained to hit that note any harder, he’d be having a brown Christmas.

8: Trans-Siberian Orchestra, Christmas Canon. Their "Christmas Eve Sarajevo" is okay since it sounds so ominous, but this one is the song where they put words (sung by a children's choir) to Pachelbel's Canon. The music is wonderful by itself but the choir makes it unbearable.

9: Backstreet Boys, The First Noel. Or maybe it's 98 Degrees, or NSync, or New Kids on the Block. Regardless, it's just painful.

10: John Cougar Mellencamp, I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus -- I can't stand the country-pop twangy sound of this one. I'd say more about this but I don't think I've ever heard the song all the way to the end.

11: David Bowie with Bing Crosby, Little Drummer Boy. It's not as bad as the other ones on this list, but I don’t like this one either. Bing sounds weak and frail at this point in his life and that just makes me sad, plus the idea of David Bowie just "stopping by" his house to visit a neighbor and sing an insipid song about peace is a little contrived and silly.

12: Carpenters, Sleigh Ride. Who let that one dude sing? You know who I mean. He's the one with the terrible voice singing the two lines "There's a birthday party at the home of Farmer Gray", and "There's a happy feeling nothing in the world can buy." Like nails on a chalkboard.

13: Andy Williams, The Holiday Season (Medley). I’m convinced one of the reasons Andy never made it big was because he wrote the line “so whoop de doo and hickory dock, and don’t forget to hang up your sock.”

14: Gloria Estefan, Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Did someone get her a cheap electronic drum machine for Christmas? Her voice is great, but it's the "band" I have a problem with. The chorus should be "Make It Stop! Make It Stop! Make It Stop!"

15: (2011) Dan Fogelberg, Same Auld Lang Syne. Come on, it's not even a real Christmas song! Plus, the narrator meets his ex-girlfriend in a grocery store and basically entices her to drink a six-pack of beer with him in his car. Did I mention that she's married? Nothing says Christmas like some beers in your ex-boyfriend's car. When I hear this song, I have to wonder how her partner would feel if he knew she split a six-pack of beer with her ex in an empty parking lot on Christmas Eve. Then she *drives* away... Doesn't that also imply she was probably over the legal limit, too? This is a train wreck of a song.

16: (2012) Josh Groban, The First Noel. Oddly-paced and overwrought. Just when you think it can’t get any more pretentious, a choir starts singing too. So overdone it almost makes Michael Bolton's song sound good by comparison.

17: (2013) Justin Bieber. I switched this off before I even caught the title of the song. Hopefully one day people will read this list and say "Who is Justin Bieber?" From the one time I heard it, this doesn't even seem like a Christmas song.

18: (2014) The Beach Boys, The Man with All The Toys. Please stop allowing The Beach Boys to sing Christmas songs. Just no.

19: (2015) Most (but not all) versions of Baby It’s Cold Outside. Because they usually sound creepy at best, or forced… especially the version sung by Lady Gaga and Joseph Gordon-Levitt (yes, really). However, there is an argument to be made that the song is actually meant to be empowering (for its time), by implying that the woman who is singing is making up half-hearted excuses as to why she should leave, while actually *wanting* to stay. So that means her “say, what’s in this drink?” line was actually saying that precisely *nothing* was amiss with the drink at all, not even a hefty dose of alcohol, but that she is wanting to avoid being judged or chided by her family for staying the night by basically saying she must have had too much to drink and has to stay as a result.

20: (2016) Michael Bublé and Shania Twain, White Christmas. This is such a poorly-done cover of "White Christmas" that it is a travesty. It is over-produced, the duet doesn't seem to be in sync half the time, and it has none of the wonderful playulness of the version by The Drifters. And Michael Bublé over-pronounces all the lyrics. It's like listening to Christmas music in an English as a Foreign Language class.

21: (2017) LeAnn Rimes, Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree. She pretty much cut-and-pastes her way through this song. Zero character, all belched out like heartburn. Every line sounds the same... “ROCKin’ aROUND...”

22: (2018) LeAnn Rimes, I Want A Hippopotamus for Christmas. Apparently nothing is sacred anymore... not even novelty songs. The cadence of this is terrible. And that’s the nicest thing I have to say about this song. I shouldn’t pick on her so much but she could learn a lot from Martina McBride on how to not butcher a cover song. Two years in a row of making the list!

23: (2019) John Tesh, Carol of the Bells. You say you hate Mannheim Steamroller’s Carol of the Bells? What if we added flamenco guitar?

24: (2020) Eartha Kitt: Next Year’s Santa Baby. Santa Baby, the most popular Christmas Song of 1953 (which was banned in the Southern United States because it seemed too suggestive!) had a sequel. Did it need a sequel? It did not. (Also, any other singer’s version of Santa Baby isn’t worth listening to.)

25: (2021) Taylor Swift: Silent Night. Ah, Taylor Swift's 2021 ear-splitting rendition of solemnity. They obviously lost the sheet music to this one before recording it. The music is not Silent Night. But it is tone deaf.

26. (2022) Train: Shake Up Christmas. “C’mon y’all, it’s Christmastime!” Oh my God. I couldn’t hate the chorus to a song any more than I hate this one.

27. (2022) Chicago - Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree. A late addition to 2022, and for this one, I’m violating my own rule of only one song I hate per year. I would rather listen to the LeAnn Rimes version a dozen times before I’d want to hear this one again. When I first heard this I thought it must be Kidz Bop doing a cover version of a Smashmouth Christmas cover song.

By the way, did you know that Billy Idol released a Christmas album in 2021? It’s nearly as bad as REO Speedwagon’s truly awful Christmas album I mentioned a few years ago.

Now, lest anyone think I am a total Grinch, here's my additional list of traditional and non-traditional Christmas songs and albums that I think are worth including in your playlist because they're exceptional:

Traditional:

1. Johnny Mathis, Merry Christmas (CD)

2. Frank Sinatra, A Jolly Christmas (CD)

3. Bing Crosby, The Voice of Christmas (CD) (or any other Bing Christmas CD)

4. Nat King Cole, It's Christmas Time

5. Perry Como, Greatest Christmas Songs (CD)

6. The entire White Christmas soundtrack. Except, of course, for 'Choreography.'

Non-traditional:

Martina McBride, White Christmas (CD): I am not a fan of country music, but her renditions are ultra-traditional and she does the only version of 'Do You Hear What I Hear' that stays true to the Bing Crosby version.

Chris Isaak, Winter (CD): Quirky, with a bit of a California or Hawaii feel to it.

Barenaked Ladies, "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen / We Three Kings medley": This song is with Sarah McLachlan, and is pretty cool even though she overdoes the whole "solemnity" thing a bit.

Diana Krall, "Jingle Bells": Jazzy and sultry.

Harry Connick Jr., When My Heart Finds Christmas (CD): Harry sounds a lot like Sinatra on this CD, but his version of 'Ave Maria' is exceptional.

Jewel, O Holy Night: Totally brings a tear to my eye every time I hear it. The rest of her 'Joy' CD is mediocre (and the version of Rudolph is almost un-listenable) but O Holy Night is pure and beautiful.

Leon Redbone/Zooey Deschanel, "Baby It's Cold Outside" (from the Elf Soundtrack): Something indescribably cool about Leon's voice makes this song better than the Dean Martin version. Dean's rendition seems a little more like coercion than romance. (See above notes on this song.) And despite the flaw in grammar in the group’s name, Zooey Deschanel’s vehicle “She and Him” provides some more acoustic Christmas cover songs that aren’t half bad.

That's it for 2022. More next year! Let me know in the comments if you agree or disagree. Or if you know of any I should consider adding to my list.

Hope you have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6iTguNQlmcQHZuWIRmqXQq?si=X82RUCBkTg6NAh8UxvIEAA

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elipsi · 3 years ago

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my top post is the hannibal trenino thomas edit udiskdkdkslqls

#of course it is #that was divine inspiration #but it also showed me that i don't have any clout #i am the penniless relative of the konzern #which is totally fine seeing the crazy that being known brings #pochi ma buoni followers

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euphoricimagination · 3 years ago

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𝑨𝒍𝒍 𝑺𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒔 𝑺𝒑𝒆𝒄𝒊𝒂𝒍 𝑴𝒂𝒕𝒄𝒉

Premise: From seeing you being a manager in your high school teams, Inarizaki and Nekoma, to being the assistant coach at the MSBY Black Jackals, to becoming part of the coaching team for the Japanese Volleyball team at the Olympics; Kuroo Tetsurou, one of yours and Kenma's best friends, has seen your amazing growth. That's why he asked you to become the coach for one of his crazy projects, which include many of your friends and their chaotic selfs.

Kenma x reader, platonic friendship with the Haikyuu boys

Warnings: Spoilers! of the special manga release. Works as an stand alone project, but it's based on my series 'International Love'. (For background, your best friends are The Miya's, Suna and Kuroo, your husband is Kenma and you two have a daughter named Nina. Feel free to check it out;)

Masterlist

“I totally understand that you are trying your best to make volleyball more known Tetsu…but why do you need my help for it?” you say looking at your friend in front of you.

You dear friend was sitting with pleading eyes with your daughter Nina in his lap. Kenma was doing preparations for his weekly stream when Kuroo decided to arrive with some take out and a favor.

“Well, you’ll make my job easier, you know every player that I was thinking of inviting” he says passing you the list of possible candidates, you hated the fact that he wasn’t wrong “Plus, I was thinking of having you as the main coach of one team…what do you say?”

“I hate you so much...What about Nina?” you say looking at your daughter, who was currently painting. If you do help him, it means that you’ll have to go to 4 different countries, and Nina is too young to deal with that much

“I’m sure Kenma can take care of her without you for like a week”

“Of course I can” you hear behind you, alongside with a ‘Dada!’. He takes Nina in his arms before sitting by your side, giving you a kiss on the cheek, before looking at the paper with the names “Go with him, I’ll stay here with Nina and then when you come back, we can go to Brazil all together, say hi to Shoyo and use it as a little vacation”

“Uncle Sho!” screams your little one, taking his plushie. Kuroo looks at you with a winning smile when he sees you interchange a look with Kenma

“Fine, I’ll help you…but I’m not paying for anything” you say rolling your eyes.

“I wasn’t going to let you”. He high fives Kenma, who just grins teasingly at you. Man, what you got yourself into?

San Juan – Argentina

“I still think you could do this alone” you say at the entrance of the gym on the other side of the world

“I’m paying for your trip here, Poland and Italy, stop complaining” he playfully nudges you while laughing. No matter how much your complaining was, you were more than happy to help him “Besides, you and Iwaizumi were the only ones who got to touch an Olympic medal through this dude”

“I know, but YOU wanted me here… thank you though” opening the doors of the gym you heard sneakers and screams ‘Pasalo! Toque, toque!’ (give it to me/ touch). You see your old setter friend, laughing soundly at his teammates “Yo! TORU!!”

“Chibi!!” Oikawa comes running to you, trapping you a big hug before giving you a kiss on the cheek “what brings you here little one?”

Before you could even answer you were yanked back besides Kuroo, who gives you and Oikawa a tight smile full of warning. And to think they were mature adults now.

“We were here to bring you an offer” says going back to normal “it’s about a match, we want to bring all the volleyball stars together to make the sport more known…”

You let Kuroo give the talk, since he is the one organizing the whole thing. You didn’t know if Oikawa was playing hard to convince or if he was just screwing around.

“You know Toru, ever since the Olympics the whole country has been talking about you. Deservedly so, it was about time that they knew how amazing you are” you pass him your phone with an article about him

“Exactly, everyone wants to watch a world class star player like you again” adds Kuroo, making Oikawa smile full of pride muttering the words back.

“Fine, I’ll do it” says giving his hand to Kuroo. After settling things together, he turns to you, arms open “come here chibi”

You happily went to hug him, excited to have him going. As dramatic as it may sound, this felt like a reconciliation. Oikawa being ready to play for a Japan that, at the time, closed it doors for him; that made him believe that he had to leave his own country to finally be considered enough, even though he always was “I’m so happy that you’re playing Toru”

“Thank you chibi, for everything” says tightening his hug, a little kiss on your temple.

Rio – Brazil

After helping Kuroo with Ushijima and Kageyama in their respective countries, you helped him to recruit the rest around Japan, an easy task considering that you are close friends with the majority.

Now you’re in the beautiful beach of Rio, you’re wearing a beautiful red and black swimsuit, Kenma is in a simple short a t-shirt combo while Nina is in her newly bought one piece, courtesy of her uncle Shoyo.

“I still cannot believe you’re actually playing beach volley” you say to Kenma while helping him apply sunscreen in his face. Nina was busy playing with Hinata and Kuroo. She was still having trouble with the timezone

“You know how annoying Kuro can get. Besides, I also want to make volleyball more known, so it works out” with that he grabs your hips, pulling you closer to give you a kiss “you somehow look even more beautiful today”

“You don’t look too bad yourself” you lay your head on his shoulder, not caring about the hot weather “I’m so happy that I can spend more time with you two, I missed you”

“We did too, so much. Rest a little now, you’ve done a lot late-”

“Oi, lovebirds! The stream is about to start!” Says Kuroo coming with Nina in his arms, who quickly asks for your attention. You take her in your arms making her lay on you

“I’m going, I’m going”

“Nina, princess, want to give dada a good luck kiss?” you ask her sleepy form, who whispers a little ‘yes’ before he came closer, kissing her in her cheek and you in your lips “good luck babe, don’t die on me today”

“Ha.ha so funny. I’ll be fine…I hope”

With that he kisses the both of you once again before going to start his stream. Kuroo was filming the whole thing while you sit nearby with Nina in your lap, who was amazed at seeing her dad play. The comments made you laugh so much ‘since when does Kodzuken play volleyball?’ ‘Kodzuken? Outside? At the sun?’.

“Okay folks, tune in on August 14th, okay? Bye-bye” says an exhausted Kenma lying on the sand, face completely covered in sweat, before Kuroo closes the stream.

“Let’s go to help dada Nina” you tell her walking towards him while Kuroo takes Hinata away “you were pretty good considering you haven’t play since high school”

“Thanks pretty” says closing his eyes while you were drying his face “How was dada, Nina?”

“Dada was good! Amazing!” she answers happily

“Good, glad you like it” he moves to sit in the sand, playfully touching her little nose to make her laugh. He then takes your hand, looking at you with the same loving eyes as if you were a newly couple “now let’s enjoy our vacation, pretty, you deserve it”

“Yeah, let’s” you say, sending back the same loving eyes to him “I love you, both of you”

“I love both of you too”

August 14th, 2022 – Ota city general gymnasium

“It’s so nice to be around you guys, this is like an Inarizaki reunion!” you say to Aran walking towards the changing room of team A. You had the first and only practice two days ago, making sure that the two setters, Atsumu and Oikawa, adjusted well with their spikers.

“I know, even Samu is here, ‘though he’s outside selling onigiris” Aran opens the door to the room, letting you walk in first. Even though the match hasn’t even started you could still feel the tension between Atsumu and Oikawa.

“Was it really a good idea to put the two of them in the same team? They clearly won’t get along” you hear Suna ask to Hinata before he notices you, giving you a smile when you approach him

“It’ll be worse if he’s with Kageyama, they’re volatile together” answers Hinata back

“I can’t take them anywhere without one of them wanting to start a fight with someone, they’re worse than high schoolers” you say hugging Suna, who passes his arms around you and kisses your temple. No matter how many years has passed, your friendship with the Inarizaki trio was as strong as ever.

“Atsumu is all big talk though, he can’t fight for shit” he says making you and Hinata laugh.

“I still don’t get how she deals with Miya; let alone now that she has to deal with two” adds Sakusa with a roll in his eyes after looking at Iwaizumi deal with the two boys, moving to pat your head. You’re one of his closest friends after many years of being his assistant coach

“Lots of patience Omi, lots of patience”

“Hey! Mr. I-never-went-to-the-nationals” Atsumu calls at Oikawa, who looks at him with annoyance by the nickname. If look could kill, Atsumu would be dead by now “How does it feel coming all the way here just to be on the bench? After all chibi-chan, MY bestie, is our coach”

“I’m sure she can be objective about who to pick. After all you weren’t in the starter line up when WE won in the Olympics, and she took a photo with MY medal even though she was your assistance coach there” says Oikawa with a mocking tone, making Atsumu look annoyed now

“Well, I’M her favorite setter, so I’m starting today, right chibi?” Both of them turns to you expectantly. To be fair, choosing who has to play has been one of the hardest decisions you’ve made. You never had this much responsibility and everyone was too good.

“Yeah…about that…”

“CHIBI!”

After calming Atsumu, who just needed a big hug and you telling him that he was indeed your favorite setter, all of you went out to the arena. You look at the stands to find Kenma sitting alongside coach Nekomata and Lev, both men playing with Nina. Kenma gives you a proud smile before telling Nina, who waves her hands excitedly at you and the rest of her uncles.

Your family in the stands, your first official head coaching experience, your friends around playing the sport that they love so much, the sport that gave you this wonderful people in your life.

With one final glance at your two favorite people, you gather your team around. Standing between Atsumu and Suna, 2 out of the 3 men that started this whole journey with you, part of the many reasons you are here today, you begin the little speech.

“…but most importantly, go and have fun guys” you finish, making your team scream in excitement. Giving hi-5’s around you go and stand in the sidelines alongside Atsumu, who passes his arm around your shoulders with a smile on. Both teams full of friends ready to give their all. “Let the game begin” you whisper when the whistle sound.

This was purely for my enjoyment, I hold this series way too close to my heart and I couldn't not do this with my loves. I don't expect a lot, but if you made it here, hope you like it :)

@crystal-lilac

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a-very-tired-raven · 3 years ago

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Hello there! I just read your Swatch x Reader headcanons and was wondering Could i possibly get a Spamton x Reader where Spamton is just totally confused on if the Reader genuinely loves him or if its just some sales pitch. Hes been my comfort character for a while so it'd be nice :>

thank you for reading my silly request :]

Hiya broski! Sorry this took a bit to answer! I didn't really know how to approach this ask. I'm new to fics so I needed to take a bit to prepare so I would know how to write this and to get into the lil man's head if that's alright! Hope you enjoy my dude and remember to lemme know if anythings wonky!

●True Intentions ●

"Here you go sir, your order?" He gave a polite nod to the server "Yes thank you." They gave a small smile and walked away. He took a small sip of his drink as he returned to his thoughts. Spamton was....confused to say the least. He met you about a week ago in the alleyway of his shop.

You'd been looking for your pet or something and tried to dig in a garbage bin....Which was actually his shop. That was locked. He just got back with some goods thst he got a nice deal on and all he saw was some stranger pulling on the lock to his shop. He angerly poked on your waist to see what you were up to.

"What are you doing?!"You jumped and awkwardly explained what it was you were doing when he demanded to know what you were up to.

"I uh..lost my pet..I thought I seen her go off this way?" Of course he was still skeptical but put his goods up and helped you look.

Eventually you two did find what you were looking for and you thanked him more times then we could count. Right before you left is when you started the confusion. You awkwardly asked for his number, and when asked why you nervously shrugged and said he was nice and you thought he was cute. Which absolutely baffled him

When was the last time someone complemented him? Let alone ask for his number and want to spend more time again. He accepted of course and didn't think anything of it.

He started thinking about it when he ran into you almost every day for the rest of the week. Everytime you saw him you were thanking him,and trying your best to make small talk.

This included asking him questions, like what did he do for a living,how many sales has he made,what's the biggest deal he's made. All if which he's awkwardly responded to with vague and short answers. This made him even more suspicious. Whyd you wanna know so much about his job and deals?

He hasn't seen you since everyone's moved to the dark town. Maybe he wouldn't see you again. If there's a whole 'nother dark world who's to say there's not more? Maybe you were somewhere else.

The smell of pastries pulls him out of his thoughts a little. Banana nut he thinks. He does admit you are kinda cute.. which brings him to the present. Why him? It's pretty well known he's a business man.

A horrible one at that. He only Ever gets people's attention when they want to get a deal or a-a..a sales pitch...

His fists clench. Of course. Why else would you go after someone like him? You just wanna make a sales pitch. Nothing more then that. You could of just said so. You didn't have to barge in his life like that and lead him on all for the sake of a deal. It all makes sense now!

Who makes small talk like that??? About deals,and sales...why was that the first question to asked? Why not start off with basic small talk?? Why be interested in him? Why him? Why'd you need to know what his biggest sale and deal was! Of all the people...You just wanted a good deal...

He doesn't hear the distant chime of the Cafe bell. He just angrily glares daggers at his own reflection. It wasn't until a shy familiar voice spoke pointedly in his direction did he force his head out of the clouds.

"Hey Spamton! I uhm.. how are you doing today?" You give a soft smile and take a seat in front of him. "I'm fine" He looked the other way. "Um.. " You glance at the window. You look at his order. "Ohh number 7! That's a good one. Moonberry fudge and a gram apple muffin. Nice." You give a soft smile.

He just remains quiet. You seem a little anxious by now. "..weather's nice huh?.." with only a human for a response you start brimming with anxiety. You try a different approach. "I had a good day at work! We didn't have any rude people.." You look at him.

"Uh how about you? How's work? You made any good sales today?" He looks up at you with a harsh glare. "Wouldn't you like to know!" You flinch and your happy aura quickly forms into an apologetic one.

"I-..im-im sorry..I didn't mean to ask anything sensitive.." You give a sorry look. "I didn't did i?" You look down at your hands. Spamtion hesitates for a moment. No.. He..He cant hesitate. He stands up.

"Yes. Yes you did impose. You imposed in my life acting all kind when I know what you really want." You have the audacity to look confused. "What are you talking about?." He ignores you and heads towards the exit. "Spamton? Spamton wait! Please..I just wanna kno-"

Your conversation fades to the back of his mind as he exists the Cafe and heads towards his house. He should have know better. That way it wouldn't have hurt as bad... He gives a soft wave to a wherewire and keeps walking. After a little bit he stops walking immediately when he feels I small tap on his shoulder.

He turns. "What?!" You give a hurt expression and focus on your hands. "I um..I just wanted to apologize for imposing.. I didn't know you didn't like talking about that" He rolls his eyes. "Just leave me alone already. It's pretty obvious you just want to talk business." Confusion crosses your face once more.

"What? What are you talking about?" His fists clench again. "Aw stop playing dumb already! It's pretty obvious you don't like me, Your just after a good deal or you want a chance at being some big shot with a sales pitch!" He didn't realize he was yelling.

Your practically cowering at this point. "I-what! No-No I'm not! Please believe me I really do like you.. I don't even know how to do business like that!" You have your hands up in front of you as if a policeman had pulled you over.

He falters for a moment. He looks back up again when you speak up. Sorta. "Please..is there anything I can do to make you believe me..." You say just barely above a whisper. He just remains quiet. After a moment of shared silence you were fed up.

"Fine then! I'll prove I'm crazy for you! Absolutely bonkers! You hear?!" You grab both his shoulders, "H-Hey! Put me down!" And yank him up and plant a big kiss on his cheek. "Now will you please go on a date with me?!"

Your face is absolutely covered top to bottom with a beautiful shade of red. Both from anger and embarrassment.After a moment of silence you awkwardly drop him. "S-sorry.." you hide your face in the neck if your shirt.

His cheeks are burning a bright peachy color. "Um..it's alright" after a small beat of silence he adds "yes."

You look back down at him. "Yes what??" You look confused. "...yes I'll go on a date with you.." He doesn't think anyone who'd want some deal would go that far. He believes you now and he says so.

Your quiet for a moment. A small smile works its way on your face. "Alrighty come on, I know just the place" you give a small wink and grab his hand dragging him off to who knows where. "W-what now?!" He gives a baffled expression as he tries to keep up.

You turn and look down again "yes now silly! I gotta make sure you belive me 100!" percent!. "A-alright then..." maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all...

ISNSJSS God that was a lot! And toughie! I enjoyed it tho!

#ravenwrites #raven writes #spamton #spamton deltarune #spamton x reader #reader x spamton #spamton dr #dr spamton #i hope this wasnt that bad #i tried lol #edgy answers

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jenohi · 3 years ago

Text

stranger

PAIRING ▸ Watanabe Haruto x fem!reader

GENRES ▸ pining, high school au, lacrosse au, I’m not really sure what genre this is lol

WARNINGS ▸ traumatic events?

SUMMARY ▸ When Haruto moves halfway around the world the last person he expects to see is you. His former nemesis...or so he thinks.

PLAYLIST ▸ Still Don’t Know My Name by Labyrinth

WORD COUNT ▸ 9626

UNIVERSE ▸ YG High; Treasure Lacrosse Team

A/N ▸ I’ve decided from here on out all my stories will probably fall within the same universe. I only really have like 4 universes in mind so I’ll label them just so you know. Also, I’m looking to add some art to my stories to bring them more to life but I am useless at graphics/edits, so! If you’re really into making graphics/edits and you enjoy my work please please PLEASE reach out to me!!! I would love to work with an amazing artist! <3 <3 Plz enjoy.

A/N 2 ▸ This story is like a lot of crossover with Jeongwoo’s story but I hope I was able to bring justice to Haruto’s character and bring his story to life. :P ok now enjoy for real realz.

You were the prettiest girl Haruto had ever known in his life. But to him, you were also his rival. You always managed to score just a few points higher than him on each exam, each quiz, each assignment. To him it always felt like the teachers liked you more, so he made sure your classmates liked him more. The thing that made him really mad was that you were so unbothered. You were ambivalent to him and you didn’t even know his name. If you really were strangers and never sat in the same class he could understand. But you had been in the same classes for years. Each time you spoke to him, you politely asked for his name. As if you were strangers.

When his parents told him that his family was going to move to another city, far enough that he would have to transfer schools, he had mixed feelings. This was his last chance to confront you. To understand why you’d never bothered to remember his name, but each time he approached you he found you furiously scribbling in a notebook. Although he resented you for not knowing his name, he could never get himself to disturb you when you looked so stressed scribbling whatever it was in your notebook.

What Haruto didn’t know is that you did notice him. You noticed the handsome, tall, skinny boy that was always in the corner of your line of sight. But you had no idea what to say to him. So you never approached him. He was a stranger.

Haruto wished he could forget you. He was a bit uncomfortable transferring to a new school at first but thankfully, three other boys had transferred with him. Asahi, Mashiho, and Yoshi had become literal brothers to him. The school also had a transfer students program and he made a new friend, Hanbyul. She was a chatterbox and sometimes she could literally chat his ear off, but she was also sweet and helpful. But she wasn’t you.

But that didn’t matter because Hanbyul had another guy on her mind all the time anyway. “You know we’ve just been friends for such a long time and lately, I’ve started to...I don’t know. I feel different. Nervous. Is it normal to feel nervous around your best friend?”

“I don’t know. Is it?” Haruto responded.

“No, I suppose it isn’t. But he probably doesn’t feel the same way. I doubt he’s ever even thought about me in that way.”

Haruto felt someone nudge him, he turned to see that it was Asahi. Haruto leaned over to hear what he was going to say. “Is she talking about Jaehyuk’s brother?”

Haruto nodded.

“Jaehyuk talks about his little brother and this chick all the time. She’s so off the mark. The little brother definitely has feelings for her if Jaehyuk is anywhere near the mark.” So both parties had feelings for one another but both parties were too chicken to say anything to each other. And for no good reason.

In a way that reminded Haruto of himself and it pissed him off. He knew that spending so much time with his new friend would raise suspicions but he didn’t care. He knew that spending so much time with her pissed Jeongwoo off. It didn’t take a genius to recognize it when they went to the Big Bang Concert together.

Haruto thought he was going crazy when he spotted you a few spaces over at the concert. He rubbed his eyes and blinked a few times to make sure it was really you. Haruto stormed over to you once he decided that it was in fact you. He had spent months thinking about what to say to you if he ever saw you again, he wasn’t going to miss this opportunity. Haruto didn’t even think to tell his new friends where he had gone.

You saw a tall, handsome figure approaching your direction. You took a second to check him out, but then turned back to the performers and continued to enjoy yourself. Your parents were reluctant to let you go out to this concert on your own but it was a once-in-a-lifetime experience that you wanted so badly. You smiled sadly at what might happen when you woke up tomorrow.

“I didn’t know you were a fan of Big Bang.” You heard a voice from behind speak into your ear. You jumped in surprise and turned around to see that it was the handsome stranger you saw sauntering your way earlier.

“Hi, what’s your name?” You asked with a polite smile on your face. This is probably exactly what your parents were worried about, creepy men that would try to approach you. You started to think about the best way to remove yourself from the situation safely. The now unamused expression on his face alarmed you.

“When are you gonna cut the shit. You know who I am.”

You looked at him puzzled. “I do? How? From where?”

Haruto felt something in his chest crack. “I used to go to school with you. You’re Y/N right?”

“Oh, yeah. That’s me.” You furiously racked your mind trying to remember what you had read but your memory came up blank. You couldn’t help but cringe and turn away. This is why you tried your best to keep to yourself and away from people. You looked up to see Haruto staring down at you with a curious expression. “I’m sorry I don’t remember you. You said you used to go to school with me? You don’t go to school with me anymore? Can I get your name again? I’m really sorry. I’ll try and remember.”

“My name is Haruto. I don’t go to school with you anymore. I transferred to a new school a few months ago.”

“Oh, I see.”

Haruto wasn’t sure how to feel when he realized you actually had zero recollection of him. For some reason seeing you up close and seeing you really trying to remember him made him feel a bit sympathetic. He couldn’t understand why. It still totally irked him that you didn’t know his name. But something told him to sit down with you and get to know you.

“Well, do you like your new school?” You asked, looking up at Haruto. Your heart was beating hard and fast. You prayed that your face wasn’t flushing.

“Why don’t we just enjoy the rest of the concert for now and we can grab a late night meal after the concert?” Haruto proposed. His own palms were sweaty and his heart was beating fast.

You thought about it for a second, then nodded and smiled. Haruto felt like the world had a glittery filter for a second. He’d always acknowledged that you were attractive, but up close smiling at him, you were drop dead gorgeous.

“Awesome.”

After the concert, the two of you walked side by side as you left the crowded venue. You noticed Haruto took a second to text someone on his phone. He caught you snooping and laughed as you turned away. “It’s fine. I was just letting the friends I came with know that I was gonna head out with you.”

“Oh, if you need to get back with them it’s fine.” You said, maybe hanging out with Haruto was a bad idea after all.

“Not a chance, it’s been so long since I’ve seen you. I’m honestly curious to know how you are and how things are back home.”

Your face flushed at his words. You couldn’t remember the last time you had spent time with a guy like this. Was this a date?

“Alright. Then what are you in the mood for?” You asked, pulling up a list of restaurants that were still open at this hour.

“What’s available now? What are you in the mood for right now?” Haruto looked over your shoulder at the menu as he asked.

“Um, what about McDonald’s? I’m not that picky and there’s not that much open right now.” you said.

Haruto stared at you with wide eyes, were you always this cool? So the two of you made your way to the closest McDonald’s and debated which was better, Coke or Sprite. To Haruto, Coca-Cola was non-negotiable.

“How is your new school?” You asked Haruto, munching on a few of your fries. “Do you like it?”

“What are you doing here?” Haruto interjected.

“What do you mean?”

“We’re not in Japan. This is far from home. Why are you in America?”

“Oh, I’m uh- I’m visiting family. I’ve actually transferred to a school around here for the time-being as well.” You jumped in surprise when Haruto shrieked.

“You’re here now? Like for good? Like you go to school here? Where?”

You giggled at the questions he rained down on you. The way he asked you with his cheeks full and eyes wide was rather endearing. “Yes I’m here now. I’m actually, uh, home schooled for the time being.”

“Oh, interesting. Why are you homeschooled? I remember you were always really good at school.” Haruto said before he shoved another chicken nugget into his mouth. The irritating thought that you were always better than him at school, just by a little popped up in his mind but he pushed it away. That didn’t matter anymore. He had your attention now.

You felt your face flush. Even with your condition it was true that you maintained your good grades. So Haruto must have actually known you back in Japan. You eyed him again, when he caught you staring at him you turned away. Haruto smirked.

“Enough about me. Tell me about your friends. You said you came with friends from your new school right?”

“Well I’d say one of them is actually who I’d consider a friend. The other one is a mutual friend. A childhood friend that has feelings for her.”

“Her?” it slipped out of your mouth. Haruto’s smirk reappeared and his eyebrow jumped up when he looked at you. You looked away, what was this funny feeling in your chest? It was weird.

“Our school had this transfer student program and she just happened to be assigned to me. She’s really cool, I’m not into her like that and she’s not really into me like that. She likes her friend.”

“How do you know?”

“She told me.”

“Oh. That feels like something important. Like a secret.”

“Well, I told her a secret as well.”

You stared at him. He didn’t indulge in the secret. Haruto was wholly focused on sipping the last of his Coca-Cola before putting it down on the table and letting out a sigh.

“Well so what’s going on with them now?” You asked.

“Hopefully, they both pull their heads out of their asses tonight. I gave them time alone so the best case scenario is that they just talk it out. The dude, Jeongwoo, I actually met him for the first time tonight and he’s a cool dude. It would be nice to have more dude friends around here.”

“You don’t have any guy friends?”

“I do. There are 3 other transfer students from Japan and they’re all dudes and I’m friends with them. Actually, Americans like to play this sport. Lacrosse? My friend told me to try out for the team and I think I might. Mashi, Asahi, and Yoshi agreed to try-out as well so it’ll be fun.”

You nodded, you had no idea what lacrosse was and you didn’t think you would be that interested to learn either. “I should get home.”

“Right of course.” Haruto said, getting up. “Where are you headed? Let me call you an Uber.”

“No, it’s okay. I can actually walk back home from here.”

“Oh really? Well, at least let me walk you back.”

You hesitated for a second. Would it be smart to show this guy where you lived? But then you shook it off, he seemed pretty harmless throughout the night and you trusted that he knew you from school in Japan. So you agreed.

“Do you have to be home-schooled?” Haruto asked.

“No, I don’t think so.” you answered.

“Would you be interested in attending school in person again?” Haruto could feel the devil on his shoulder kicking him. What was he doing? He had already gone to school with you before and the fact that you always did just a smidge better than him drove him nuts.

“Um, I haven’t really thought about it. Why?”

“You should consider transferring to my school?”

Your eyebrows shot up. “What?”

Haruto stepped back a bit and raised his hands. “It was just a suggestion. Honestly, I struggled a bit when I first came here. I can’t imagine how lonely it must be to be here and just be home-schooled so I figured it might be nice to have some sense of community.”

“Um, I’ll think about it.” You weren’t going to think about it. You looked up and breathed a sigh of relief when you saw the familiar apartment complex. “This is me. You don’t have to walk in with me. I’m gonna go now.”

“Wait.” Haruto said. You turned around to look at him, a thin smile on your face. “I, uh, I had fun.”

“Yeah, this was nice.” You said truthfully.

“We should do it again sometime.” Haruto said. You stared at him, he looked perfectly composed to you. But his heart was practically beating so hard he thought it might fall out of his chest.

“Honestly, I’m not so sure that’s a good idea.”

Haruto felt a heat and anger flare up in his chest. But he did his best to tamp it down and get it under control. This was literally the first time you had acknowledged his presence. He put a smile on his face. “Well, then maybe we’ll just run into each other again sometime.”

“Maybe, it’s all up to fate now. Good night Haruto.”

“Good night Y/N.”

The second you made it back into your room you pulled out your diary. You scribbled the notes you had logged into your phone throughout the day as quickly as possible. Briefly reliving each moment as you wrote them down. By the time you had gotten to the end of the list and began to recount the concert you could feel your eyelids getting heavier and heavier and your hands writing more and more frantically until suddenly, you crashed.

The next morning you woke up and read your notes. You squinted at the last thing you had written. Your handwriting became illegible near the end. ‘Haruto?’

The next morning Haruto woke up and smiled at the memory of you. Asahi and Mashiho eyed their roommate as he pranced around the living room and kitchen smiling and singing. But nothing could bring Haruto down. Well until he saw his friend looking depressed as hell.

“Dude what’s up?” Haruto asked. “Did you and Jeongwoo figure your shit out?”

“Uh, about that. Well, no.”

“No? What do you mean no?”

“Well what about you? Did you run into her?”

“Nuh uh, this isn’t about me. You literally had the perfect opportunity to make something of it. To make a moment! Did you guys have a moment?”

“Yes, I think we did. But I got scared. I don’t want to lose Jeongwoo as a friend, but at the same time I don’t think he has any feelings for me like that. I just, I think I need space. Maybe if I just distance myself from him a bit then I can get over my feelings and…”

“No offense, but that’s the stupidest thing I think I’ve ever heard in my life.”

“Well I don’t care if you think it’s stupid. This is my decision and my decision is that I don’t want to see Jeongwoo for awhile. Ok? I’m not ready for the conversation. So you better get used to seeing me more often!”

Haruto sighed as he watched his friend storm out of the room. He turned around and exchanged looks with Asahi. “Did I say something wrong?”

Asahi shrugged. “Honestly, I think you’re valid. I think her logic in avoiding Jeongwoo is pretty dumb. The dude’s in my gym class. Honestly, he’s chill. I don’t think he’d react badly to her if she confesses regardless of how he feels.”

“I should probably find her and apologize anyway.” Haruto said, exiting the room. Eventually he found his friend and they sat together in the cafeteria.

“Sorry about what I said earlier. I’ll admit it was kind of harsh. But honestly I can’t say I understand your logic at all.”

“It’s fine Haruto. You seemed extra happy when you walked in this morning. Who was the friend that you saw at the concert?”

“It was her. Y/N.”

“No way! Isn’t she in Japan?”

“That’s what I thought too. I was so shocked to see her.”

“What did you say to her? What did you guys talk about? Did she recognize you?”

“That’s the thing. The best part of it all was that I actually had her attention. You remember I told you about how she never acknowledged anybody right? She was always reading her notebook in the hallway. In the past when I spoke to her she never even knew my name! She had to ask me every single time. But this time, there’s no way she wouldn’t remember me!”

“Your relationship is weird. But I guess that’s sweet. What does she write about in her notebook?”

“I don’t know. Why does it matter? She knows my name now!”

“That’s another thing. You went to school together for years and she never remembered your name? Why?”

“I don’t know.” Haruto said. Now he was grouchy. All the questions that had been brought up to him were valid, but these weren’t things he wanted to think about.

A few weeks before the lacrosse tryouts in the spring Haruto went to the hospital to get a physical done.

Once he was done he stumbled into a small cafe right next to the hospital. When he saw who was manning the cash register he rubbed his eyes and looked away and looked back a few times to make sure he wasn’t being deluded. When he was confident that he wasn’t going crazy he stood up and walked over to the register.

You saw a tall, handsome, and skinny guy walk up to the cash register. You cleared your throat and stood up straight. “Hello, what can I get you?”

“Y/N! It’s fate. We ran into each other again!”

“Again?” You put a smile on your face and thought of a response. “Hey, it’s so good to see you! How have you been? What’ll you have?”

“Do you...remember my name?”

You felt your heart picking up speed and your palms beginning to sweat. But you kept your composure. “Of course, let me take your order and we can chat for a second.”

Haruto beamed. “Okay, then I’ll just have an Iced Americano.”

“Okay, that’ll be $3.30. The ice machine is in the back so I’ll be right out in a second. You rushed to the back of the cafe and pulled out your diary and flipped through the pages, reading the entries as quickly as possible. Out of the corner of your eye you noticed a torn piece of paper that had slipped out of your bag. You picked it up, it matched the paper in your diary. You flipped it over to see that it had a name written on it. Haruto.

Was that this guy’s name? Who was he to you? Darn it, why hadn’t you written more?

You quickly filled the cup with ice and walked out filling the cup with cold brew. You grabbed the marker and scribbled Haruto on it. You walked back over to the cash register. This guy’s eyes were practically glittering in anticipation. Was it normal for someone to get this excited over a coffee?

“I’ve got one iced americano for Haruto?” you said.

If his eyes were glittering before, they were practically flashing light strobe lights at a nightclub now. A matching beaming grin on his face. “Yes! Y/N it’s fate. We ran into each other again!”

“Right. Yeah, of course. What are the odds.”

“Do you have a minute?”

“Um, I’m working right now. I’d rather not get in trouble. Maybe another time?”

Haruto swiveled around, eying the cafe. “It looks pretty empty to me. I don’t think you’d get in trouble if you came out for a second just to keep me company.”

“Still…”

“Is your manager even here right now?”

“No.”

“Then come on. Just come out for a second.”

You looked around the cafe, cursing at how vacant it was. You tugged at your sleeves for a second before answering. “Fine.”

You followed Haruto out from behind the counter. He walked over to a table and pulled a seat out from underneath the table. He smiled as he waited for you to sit down. You walked over to the table and turned around. Haruto slid the chair underneath you as you moved to sit down. Once you were seated Haruto ran around to the other side of the table and sat down.

“How are you? How have you been?” Haruto asked.

You stared at the boy sitting in front of you. He was so handsome. “I’m doing well. How about you?”

“I’m good. I was in the area because I needed to go to the hospital.”

Your ears perked up. “Why were you at the hospital?”

“Why do you wanna know? Are you worried about me?”

You didn’t say anything. You just stared at Haruto. Haruto cleared his throat and looked away for a second. “I’m just playing with you. I went to get a physical.”

You nodded, tracing the patterns on the tablecloth.

“I needed one for lacrosse tryouts.”

“Lacrosse? What is that?” you asked. Haruto thought the way your nose scrunched in confusion was adorable.

“I told you about it last time! Remember? It’s this sport that Americans like to play. I had never heard of it in Japan either.”

You didn’t remember. “Right.”

Haruto couldn’t understand the dynamics of the conversation. He watched as you avoided eye contact with him and intensely focused on tracing the pattern of the table cloth. Then you would stare out the window of the cafe, it almost appeared as if your eyes were glazed over. “What are you always writing about in your notebook?”

Your head spun over to look at him so fast, you thought you might have gotten whiplash. “What?”

“Your notebook. I remember in school back in Japan I always saw you either writing things down in a notebook or reading the same notebook. What’s in it?”

“Um, nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

“Why? It can’t be that bad. I promise I won’t laugh no matter how embarrassing it might be.” Haruto said. Leaning forward over the table so that he was in your face.

“Forget it.” You said, leaning back and looking away. You glanced over at your bag that was perched far back behind the counter and breathed a sigh of relief. “Look. I gotta go. I’m supposed to be working right now. I think you should go now as well.”

You stood up from the table so quickly that the chair you were sitting on toppled over. You didn’t bother to turn around and pick it up. You walked back towards the counter without looking back.

Haruto watched you as you walked away. He narrowed his eyes when he saw you grab your bag and walk to the back of the cafe. There was only one thing on his mind as he walked out of the cafe. Your notebook. What was in the notebook?

You frantically flipped to today’s page in your notebook. In all caps with your boldest, darkest black marker you wrote at the top of your notebook. ‘Beware of Haruto. Tall, Handsome. Asked about notebook.’

Then you shut the notebook and exited the back room, breathing a sigh of relief when you noticed that the cafe was vacant once again. You walked over to the cafe table where you had previously sat and picked up the chair that had fallen over when you had left the conversation.

The next day at school Haruto was deep in thought. What could possibly be so important about a notebook? When Hanbyul shoved him, Haruto shrieked as he fell out of his chair. “Dude, what the hell is your problem?”

“What are you thinking about? You look like you’re thinking so hard that your brain might break.”

“Do you have an important notebook? Is that like something girls do?”

“You mean like a diary?”

Haruto snapped his fingers and looked up. “Yes! Exactly like one of those. Do you have one of those?”

“I did when I was younger. I don’t keep one anymore though. Why do you ask?”

“My friend. The one from home, Y/N? I think she has one. I asked her about it yesterday and she got all dodgy and weird.”

“Ah, well. Back when I did keep a diary it held all my dirtiest secrets. I don’t think I would want to share it with anybody or for anybody to know about it. Not even now, and as an elementary schooler I really don’t think I had any secrets worth keeping.”

“It was so weird. She got so defensive over it. I didn’t realize bringing it up would be such a touchy subject.”

Hanbyul shrugged. “Different things matter to different people. Are you ready for tryouts? They’re coming up soon aren’t they?”

Haruto nodded. “Asahi, Mashiho, Yoshi, and I have started going to that gym that you recommended. Lacrosse is actually pretty fun. Mashiho is the best though. Are you coming to tryouts?”

“Of course I am. I’m practically making you go so it’s only fair that I be there to see how you do. I reserve the right to totally make fun of you if you embarrass yourself though.”

Haruto rolled his eyes. “Yeah, whatever.”

Soon enough it was the first day of lacrosse tryouts. Haruto had frequented the cafe that you worked at in hopes of getting the chance to speak to you again. Unfortunately, what he didn’t know was that you had quit the job and diligently stayed home and studied.

Haruto was agitated at the thought of not being able to speak to you again. When he tried to sit down and rationalize it himself he couldn’t make sense of it. A year ago he despised you for not knowing his name. You know his name now, right? What more did he want from you?

“Haruto? Haruto! Hello? Are you even listening to me?”

Haruto turned to look at Hanbyul. “Honestly no, sorry. What’s up?”

“I feel bad for how I treated Jeongwoo. You were right, avoiding him was not the right thing to do. But why hasn’t he said anything to me?”

“Look I can’t tell you what’s going on between the two of you any better than you can. My assumption is that he’s a bit hurt and confused at the moment by how you’re acting and he doesn’t want to make things any worse than they are.”

“Can’t you say something to him?”

“Me?” Haruto looked up from his stick that he was re-taping. “What do you want me to say to him?”

“I don’t know. Just...just get him to react.”

Haruto scoffed. “If you want me to do that I can but again I feel like it’s not going to produce the results that you want. Like I think if I say anything things are gonna go really sour so I think you should think long and hard about this.”

“Haruto!”

“Look, I gotta go. Tryouts are starting.” Haruto said, turning away and walking onto the field. He didn’t miss the hard stare coming his way from Jeongwoo. Haruto ignored them and focused on his gameplay. Lacrosse had actually become really cathartic for him and he found that he really wanted to make the team.

Haruto noticed that the coaches seemed to be reacting favorably to how he was playing. He also realized that Jeongwoo was also really good but he played really aggressively, like he had something to lose. At the end of practice Haruto figured his hunches must have been correct because the coaches called him over to speak with him.

“I’m sure you know Varsity tryouts were this morning, all of your friends from Japan did great as did you and so we’re thinking about pulling you up to varsity. So tomorrow I want you to come early and try out with the varsity team, alright?”

Haruto beamed and nodded.

“Good work son.” The coach slapped Haruto on the shoulder. He did his best not to fall over. Thankfully the coach didn’t notice.

Haruto walked off the field and headed towards the school parking lot. Just as he pulled his phone out to call someone for a ride home his phone pinged, he tapped on the notification to see that it was a message from Mashiho.

Mashiho: Haruto have JV tryouts ended?

Haruto: Yes, I just finished

Mashiho: Cool. Have you found a ride home yet?

Haruto: No, do you know anyone who can come get me?

Mashiho: Ya, a lot of the guys on varsity can drive. Junkyu is over now but he offered to come pick you up.

Haruto: Junkyu?

Mashiho: He’s trying out for the varsity team. He’s cool. Kinda goofy but cool. I’ll come by with him.

Haruto: Alright, thanks dude.

Mashiho: Np.

Haruto checked the time on his phone before putting it back into his pocket. 6 P.M. Would you be at the cafe? The last few times he had gone by he hadn’t seen you. He put the thought away when a car appeared in front of him. The window rolled down and Mashiho cheered when he saw Haruto. “Get in the car! You smell!”

“Shut up and unlock the door Mashi.” The car door clicked open and Haruto hopped into the backseat. There was a large dude sitting in the driver’s seat who kept fidgeting with a bunch of random controls.

The guy turned around with a giant grin on his face. “Hello! I’m Junkyu. You must be Haruto! Nice to meet you!”

Haruto bowed. “Hello. Yes, I am Haruto. Nice to meet you as well.”

“Ruto! How were tryouts?”

“They were really good. Coach pulled me over at the end of tryouts and told me to come early tomorrow morning and try out with the varsity team.”

“Damn! You must be so good!” Junkyu said from the driver’s seat. Haruto tried not to be concerned by the way Junkyu was driving. His head kept swiveling from left to right. “Did you guys play sports back in Japan? All of you were insane at tryouts today!”

“We all played football. I think Mashi and Yoshi played basketball as well.”

“Football? Do you mean football football or soccer football?”

“Eh?”

“Do you kick a ball or do you carry a ball?”

“You kick it. Duh. Why would you carry a ball? That’s just dumb.”

“Americans call a totally different sport football. Don’t worry about it too much. But it’s awesome that you guys are so good.”

“Well to be fair, we were told about that Lacrosse Club and we had a few training sessions every week leading up to try outs.” Mashiho said.

“Ahh! How’d you hear about that? A few of us have been playing on their club teams for a while.”

“My friend told me about it. She’s the person responsible for me in the foreign exchange students program. Hanbyul?”

“Oh! I know who you’re talking about. Her brother was a legend at this school. He was a top recruit since his sophomore year here. But right before the most important game of his senior year he tested positive on a drug test and he couldn’t play. It totally turned him, his team, and the school around. He got dropped by the college that was recruiting him. But I heard he struck a deal with a pro-team and I guess he’s been training with them. The dude was in a league of his own.”

“Damn. That’s insane.”

“Yeah, our school takes lacrosse pretty seriously. The best players at our school get recruited to some of the best schools so it’s a great opportunity.”

Haruto knew there were probably more important things to be thinking about in this conversation but he couldn’t help but wonder if he could get you to come to one of his games.

The second day of tryouts Haruto was absolutely on fire. His shorts were shart, his passes were quick, and his steps were light. The varsity team was definitely of a different caliber but Haruto found the challenge fun. It was nice to be able to play with the rest of the Japanese boys as well.

At the end of varsity tryouts the coach pulled him over, “you were great out there today. How are you feeling?”

“I’m feeling alright coach.”

“Up for a few more hours?”

Haruto paused, but then nodded. He wasn’t in a place to argue with his coaches. “Sure.”

“Great. Then I want you to continue through JV tryouts. Grab some water and then head back out onto the field.”

“Alright coach.”

Haruto jogged out to the edge of the field. He was surprised to see Hanbyul sitting at the edge of the bleachers. “What’s up?”

“Hey, what are you doing here?”

“What do you mean what am I doing here? I came to watch your second day of tryouts.”

“Are you sure you’re here to watch me?”

“Shut up. Why are you all sweaty already?”

“Coach had me try out with the varsity team today.”

Hanbyul’s eyes widened. “Dang, you must be awesome. The last two boys that made it onto the varsity team as sophomores were my brother and his best friend Bobby.”

Haruto shrugged. “The game is fun. It would be awesome to play on varsity.”

The coach blew his whistle, signalling all the players to come back out onto the field. Haruto turned around and gathered around. Every so often throughout the day Haruto ran back to the bleachers where Hanbyul sat. His bag was stowed away there as was his secret stash of Coca-Cola. It probably wasn’t smart to be drinking Coke in the middle of tryouts but every so often he needed a pick-me-up.

“You need to quash that habit.”

“Yeah yeah.”

At the end of the day the coach told Haruto to wait for him inside his office. So Haruto did just that.

“So what’d you think about tryouts today?” Coach asked.

“It was intense.”

“Yeah, what did you think of the way the varsity team played?”

“They were quicker, sharper, and more nimble.”

“Good observation. Do you think you were good enough to play on their level?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, then answer me another question. If you had to pick another player from the JV tryouts today to pull up to Varsity who would you pick?”

Haruto thought about it for a second. The answer was obvious. The only other person who seemed to put up a fight with him was “Jeongwoo.”

“Good guess.” The coach laughed. “I don’t know what they feed you kids in Japan. But all four of you are good.”

There was a knock on the door. Haruto turned around to see Jeongwoo. He smirked when he saw the sour expression on Jeongwoo’s face. But it was gone once he had walked into the room and stood adjacent to Haruto.

“The two of you have demonstrated amazing capabilities and I am considering pulling one of you up to the varsity team. Take this opportunity seriously. Tomorrow is the last day of tryouts.”

The last place Haruto expected to run into you was at the hospital. The last thing you were expecting at the hospital was for a dude to come up behind you and scare you. It was horrible, you can’t remember the last time you screamed so loudly, let alone at a public place.

“What are you doing here Y/N?”

“Uh, I’m-” you hesitated, trying to craft an answer that was vague enough that you wouldn’t have to tell the whole truth but not vague enough that he wouldn’t continue to ask questions. But thankfully Haruto seemed to take it upon himself to fill the silence.

“Look, I just wanted to say I’m sorry that I totally misjudged you when I first met you? In fact, I thought I hated you.”

Alarm bells went off in your head. Was it normal for a person to come to you and tell you they hated you? “Uh, thanks?”

But Haruto continued. “But I wanted to say I totally read you wrong. You’re actually really cool. And I wanted to say thank you. For remembering my name.”

That was the first time someone had ever said that to you. You stared at him blankly unsure of how to respond.

“Haruto! Haruto! Haruto! Please report to waiting room 105, the doctor is ready for you now.” The voice over the loudspeaker belted.

“Well, that’s me.” Haruto said with a soft smile on his face. He got up and waved goodbye to you before heading to the back of the office.

Once he was safely out of sight you pulled out your notebook. Your face paled once you flipped through it a few times. You thought about what to do. What did this guy want? You wrote out all these questions in your notebook. Then you came to a conclusion of what to do and wrote that down in your notebook as well.

You ripped out a piece of paper from your notebook and scribbled your number on it. Then got up to the receptionist desk. “Hi, I don’t know if you’re allowed to do this. But when that guy Haruto comes out. Would you mind giving him this?”

You handed the sheet of paper over to her, the receptionist gave you a look and then a wink before accepting the sheet of paper. You figured that meant she accepted, so you waved goodbye and left the hospital.

“Excuse me sir!” The receptionist lady called out to Haruto as he was about to head out of the doctor’s office. What felt and looked like a nasty possible sprain on the lacrosse field just turned out to be a measly bruise.

Haruto approached the reception desk. “There was a young lady earlier. She asked me to give this to you before you leave.”

Haruto looked at the slip of paper. His eyes widened into the size of large gumballs when he realized what was on it. He felt like his heart would explode. But then his mind pumped the brakes, he wasn’t ungrateful, but why did you give him your number?

On the way back home you second guessed your decision at least 30 times. Why did you give him your number? The only reason you could think of was that you didn’t want to not know the guy. Contrary to what your mind and your diary told you. Your heart didn’t want to give him up. Maybe it was selfish and confusing, who knew? But who cared?

Haruto’s excitement was cut short when he finished punching your number into his contacts. Before he could even send a message to you, his phone rang. Hanbyul.

“Hey Hanbyul, what’s up?”

Haruto became alarmed when he heard a sniff and a muffled sob. “Haruto, I miss him.”

Haruto sighed. “He’ll come around soon.”

“Is there nothing you can do to make him come around sooner?”

“Hanbyul. If all goes well he’s going to be my teammate. Plus, what could I possibly say to change things?”

“I don’t know. He probably thinks there’s something going on between us.”

Haruto paused. “Is that why you’re friends with me?”

“No, no I swear it’s not. You’re an amazing person and you’ve been an amazing friend.”

“Hanbyul.”

“I know, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m sorry.”

“I don’t like what you’re asking me to do. But you are my friend. If you’re really sure this is the way you want to go about it.”

“I’m- I’m not sure. I just need things to change.”

On the third day of tryouts Haruto was in a funk. And it showed. The events of yesterday night haunted him, he was happy to see you but he was sorry for Hanbyul. Haruto didn’t really like to fight with anybody, but he found her requests unreasonable and the questions she asked about you probing and uncomfortable.

It seemed as if Jeongwoo was the same way. Haruto gave into the niggling voice inside his head and said probably he shouldn’t have said. “You’re gonna lose your girl to me and now you’re gonna lose your spot on the team to me?”

It pushed Jeongwoo off the edge and the two of them went at it. Haruto played ferociously and aggressively. As did Jeongwoo. The game ended when Jeongwoo illegally body checked Haruto.

“Dude what the hell is your problem?”

“No, what’s your problem? Your comment back there? Absolutely uncalled for.”

Valid. But Haruto wasn’t going to admit that. “Please. Pull your head out of your ass. You’re hurting your friend. Talk to her.”

Haruto stood by as he and Jeongwoo got scolded for their behavior. Eventually, tryouts ended with neither one ending up on the varsity team. Haruto knew he probably should have been more bothered but he wasn’t. He had other things on his mind.

When Haruto exited the office he saw Hanbyul waiting outside. She turned to look away from Jeongwoo back to Haruto. Tired and hopeful that their saga would end, Haruto smiled and jutted his chin out towards Jeongwoo. Hanbyul smiled and ran after Jeongwoo.

Since the fateful day you have Haruto your number. Whenever he had a free moment he would ask to see you. After each time you saw him, you thoroughly wrote down everything that had happened in the day. You didn’t want to forget.

A few Mondays ago, you went to get ice cream together. “What’s your favorite food, Haruto?”

“Me? Anything unhealthy.”

You whacked him on the arm for that.

“Ow! What was that for?”

“For being a stupid teenage boy. And because I’m jealous of your metabolism.”

A couple Thursdays ago, Haruto asked you if you wanted to go watch a movie with him. The Uber and the weather didn’t quite work out. “Sorry we missed the movie by 45 minutes. But on the bright side, it’s not raining anymore!”

You laughed. “I guess you’re right. What should we do instead now that we’re here?”

Haruto looked around. He pointed at the grassy meadow. “We should just lay down on the grass and look at the stars.”

“The grass is wet.”

“Look, they're selling plastic tarps over at that convenience store. Let’s just buy one.”

“Okay.”

Haruto paid for a plastic tarp and spread it down out on the grassy meadow. The two of you laid on the ground parallel to one another. Until Haruto turned to you “can I hold you?”

You felt your face flush and you looked away. You hesitated for a few moments but eventually Haruto smiled when he heard a soft “yeah.”

So he moved his arm as you lifted your head to rest on top of it. You curled into him as his arm wrapped around your upper body. Haruto’s stomach exploded in butterflies. Your face was on fire. But the two of you were happy, blissful.

Last Friday night Haruto asked you to come to one of his lacrosse games. “Y/N, this is my friend Hanbyul. Hanbyul, this is Y/N.”

“Y/N?” Hanbyul stared at you eyes wide. Like she knew something. She looked like she wanted to say something but she held it in. You wondered what it was, but decided not to think too much about it.

Hanbyul was sweet. She kept you company throughout the game. But she was an aggressive cheer-er. Most of her attention was spent yelling at the field. Her energy was contagious and by the end of the game you were standing on the bleachers cheering “Go Haruto!”

Now it was Saturday and the two of you had finally gone to see the movie that you had meant to see a couple Thursdays ago. You clasped onto the arm that Haruto had held out for you as you exited the movie theater. “That movie was so good! It was so crazy!”

Haruto laughed. “Yeah it was okay.”

“Just okay? You didn’t like it?”

“No, I liked it. It wasn’t bad. But I feel like there were better movies from this cinematic universe you know?”

“Yeah I guess.”

“Which one was your favorite?” Haruto asked.

“Huh?” You looked up at Haruto to see him looking down at you. You turned away. “Um. Would you wanna come back to my place?”

“Huh?” Haruto wasn’t normally caught off guard but this time he was.

“I mean. Not like that. I just, I don’t know I’m not ready for the night to end and I figured since my place is close by we could just go back and chat.”

Haruto smiled. “Yeah, that sounds nice. Let’s go.”

Soon after the two of you arrived at your place, Haruto got situated on the couch and after making sure he was properly settled in. You had gotten up to go fetch your drinks. Haruto spotted your notebook sitting on the edge of the coffee table. He glanced over to see that your attention was fully occupied on making your drinks. Haruto turned back to stare at the notebook. No. The notebook was staring at him. Haruto knew it was wrong. He knew he shouldn’t peek.

But he couldn’t help it. Every time he saw you he either saw the notebook with you or he saw you writing the notebook and every time he even remotely looked in its direction you guarded it with your life. This could be his only chance.

And so, Haruto grabbed the notebook. He flipped through it and saw that it was very meticulously dated. Upon closer inspection he noticed that each entry was timed as well and every timed entry had extensive details about what you saw, what you talked about. Then he flipped backwards and found one page not like the others.

This page wasn’t dated. Instead, it was titled. Haruto. Haruto’s eyes widened. Every line of his designated page was filled. There were things about him on there that even he hadn’t realized he had said. Why had you written all these things down? All these details didn’t seem that important to him. They were like things that were probably easily remembered. Or things you could ask him about, he’d answer if you ever asked him about.

Just as he was about to continue flipping through the pages of the notebook. “What do you think you’re doing?”

An index card fluttered out of the notebook right at Haruto’s feet. Haruto bent down to pick it up. But in a panic you kicked his shin and as he howled and grabbed onto his leg you snatched the card. “What the hell Y/N?”

“No. I should be asking you that. I’ve made it abundantly clear that this notebook is not to be touched. It’s incredibly private to me.”

“What is it? Why is it so important? I asked Hanbyul what it might be and she just said it was probably a diary. What is so special about yours?”

“What is so special about mine?” you were so angry you felt like your head was about to pop. While your head didn’t pop. Your mouth certainly did. “What is so special about mine? This notebook? This notebook. Is my memory. I don’t have a memory.”

You tossed the card at Haruto. He picked it up and read the words on the card as you spoke.

“At age 13 you were involved in a very traumatic car accident. The accident left you in a coma for two weeks. After you recovered from your coma you were diagnosed with anterograde amnesia. From that day on, you no longer have the ability to make memories. The memories you make within a day will only last until you fall asleep wherein your memories of the previous day will be wiped. Use your notebooks to keep track of your days. Use these notebooks to help you remember.”

You could hear your voice waver as you finished reciting the contents on the index card.

“Y/N, I-” Haruto said. The world seemed grayer and grimmer. Everything made so much sense now. Why every time he spoke to you in school you had to ask for his name. Why sometimes you looked confused or blank when he mentioned something or attempted to crack a joke.

“So now you know.” You whispered. You could feel your body start to heave, your breathing became heavy. The gravity of what you had just exposed started to weigh down on you. “You need to leave. You need to leave and never come back.”

“Y/N. I wish you would have told me.”

“Why?” You snarled. “Why would I tell you that? Each day I wake up I can’t even remember who you are. Why would I have told you anything? Just so you could go around pitying me? Telling everyone else about me? Absolutely not.”

Haruto started to feel tears well up in his own eyes. He felt trapped in his own body as he watched your body fail yours. When he saw you collapse something snapped in his head and he got up and picked you up. One arm held you under your shoulder blades and the other below your knees.

“Get. Out.” you said in between wheezes.

“No. Y/N. I’m sorry. I don’t want to. Let me help you.”

“Get. Out.” you said, barely conscious.

“Y/N. You’re scaring me. What do I do? How do I help you? Let me help you and I’ll leave you alone.”

Your eyelids were getting heavier and heavier. Honestly, you weren’t even sure what exactly was going on. Maybe it would be smart to have Haruto call your doctor before he left. “Emergency Numbers. Notebook.”

Haruto placed you down on your bed just as you had passed out. Haruto immediately ran back to the living room and grabbed your notebook that had fallen onto the ground. He flipped through it frantically. What page were the emergency numbers on? He saw them scribbled on the inside of the back cover. He grabbed his phone and dialed the first number listed at the top.

“Hello? Is this Y/N’s doctor? She’s just passed out and I don’t know what to do. I’m in her apartment right now. Someone please come help me.” Haruto hadn’t even realized that tears had been streaming down his face until he saw wet splotches appear on the notebook. He wiped them quickly and sniffed. “This is scaring me.”

“Yes, this is Y/N’s doctor. I’m on my way over. Who is this?”

“Haruto. I’m a friend of hers.”

“Haruto. You did good, son. Just wait. I’ll be there in a second.”

“Doctor. Is she gonna be okay?”

“Honestly I can’t tell you right now. I have to check up on her. Right now I’m in front of her door so you can let me in.” The call ended and Haruto opened the door.

“Is she in her room?” The stout man asked.

Haruto nodded and followed him back into your room. He tried to help the doctor but eventually the doctor turned to him and said “son, just relax. Give me some space. She should be fine. She had a panic attack, something must have worked her up. But she’ll wake up. But, it might be better if you aren’t here by the time she wakes up.

“I understand, doctor.”

The doctor took a good look at him. Then nodded grimly before turning his attention back to you. Before Haruto could leave though he saw a stack of index cards, a roll of washi tape, and a pen sitting on your desk. He was still holding your notebook from earlier. He grabbed the materials and headed back out to the living room.

Before he left he scribbled out a note. Then pulled something out of his wallet and taped it to the back of the index card. He then taped the index card to the inside of the front cover before shutting the notebook and leaving it in the middle of your coffee table. He held in a sob as he got up. How had things gone so sour so quickly?

Haruto walked back over to your room and peeked in. Your doctor was still busy doting on you. So he turned around and exited your apartment. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and called Junkyu. “Hey, can you pick me up?”

“Yeah of course. Send me the address.” Junkyu said, trying not to be too alarmed by the tone of Haruto’s voice.

Eventually, you woke up. After reading the note that your doctor had taped to your hand explaining the situation you took a deep sigh. What a shit show. You needed to find the notebook your doctor had mentioned in his note.

It was sitting in the very middle of your coffee table. You flipped through the last few pages to read your entries. Your eyes started to water and you felt yourself get emotional. You could sense that you had grown close to someone. You read about yourself and how you felt about Haruto, but who was Haruto? For the most part you had made peace with your situation but for the first time in a long time, you began to feel frustrated. Angry. Cheated of a normal life that other 16 year old girls got to live.

Just as you were about to shut the notebook you noticed there were two index cards taped to the inside cover. The first one explained your situation. It was more or less what your doctor had just explained to you. But the second one was new. You lifted it up to your face and began to read it aloud.

Y/N,

If you’re reading this, I want you to know that you are the love of my life. My name is Haruto Watanabe and I am 16 years old. I met you for the first time in our freshman year of high school back then when we lived in Japan. We were only 14 years old. I used to be jealous of you, how you beat me in school every time even if just by a little bit. I also resented you because I thought you never bothered to remember my name.

By some stroke of fate, we both ended up in America. Whether by fate or not we saw each other a few more times and met up with each other and I really began to fall for you. You are the kindest, most beautiful, and genuine person I have ever met in my life.

I want you to know that even with your condition. My opinion and my feelings towards you have not changed. I want to be honest with you and tell you what I did and I hope in time you can read this and not feel angry.

Y/N, I did something bad. I invaded your privacy. You see, every time I saw you you fiercely guarded this notebook. Everytime I asked about it or possibly glimpsed at it you would react so strongly so eventually the curiosity of needing to know what was in the notebook killed me. And one day when your attention was occupied elsewhere, I read it.

It seemed like a regular diary to me but you caught me in the act and got upset with me. You explained to me your condition and I want you to know I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry I behaved so insensitively. If I were a more selfless man I would have left your life for good. But I am not. I’ve attached my school I.D. to the back of this card. On it has my name, my picture, and my phone number.

If you ever find it in yourself to forgive me. Please give me a call. I will always love you.

Love,

Haruto Watanabe

You flipped the back of the card over. Sure enough there was a school I.D. taped to the back. You pulled the card off and stared at it. The boy in the picture was handsome. He was tall. His height was 6’2”. You scoffed, at least you had good taste.

You saw his phone number at the bottom. You pondered over whether or not to call him, what would you even say to him? Where would he even fit in your life?

These were the questions that ran through your mind as you pulled your phone out and dialed his number. You stared at the numbers as you recited them aloud again. Your thumb hovering above the green button.

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kthstrawberryshortcake · 3 years ago

Text

BTS Reactions: Their S/O is Inexperienced Yet in Their Mid 20s

A/N: Here it is, my first post after my long-ass hiatus :) I hope you guys enjoy it! Requests are OPEN, please send some over! <3

PREMISE: OT7 reacting to finding out that their s/o is physically inexperienced relationship-wise / that this is their s/o’s first relationship despite them being in their mid 20s

A/N: I think a lot of people won't understand why this is a reaction in the first place (lol) but it can be super uncomfortable / awkward to have not dated / had any experience at that age, and a lot of people react badly to finding that out about someone. It's definitely an insecurity for a lot of people (myself included).

warning: mostly unedited due to my status as a trash gremlin

Jin:

Jin was completely shocked when he found out that you had never dated before him. Without thinking, he let this incredulity show on his face, total surprise evident and eyebrows raised. He was briefly silent in disbelief. You took that to mean that he thought you were weird now. You certainly felt that way.

Involuntarily, tears welled up in your eyes and Jin finally registered your distress. “What’s wrong?” he asked in concern, gently brushing away a stray tear from your cheek. You stared down at your feet, murmuring “You probably think I’m super strange now.” in explanation. Jin shook his head insistently, imploring that he didn’t find it weird at all.

“Honestly I was just shocked because I don’t know how you didn’t have people practically lining down the block to date you.” He explained, bringing a small smile back to your face. He pulled you into a hug, assuring you that he was in no hurry as long as he got to spend time with you.

Yoongi:

You and Yoongi were having a cozy night in and catching up on dramas. In the show you were presently watching, there was a character who was in her mid 20s that had never dated or even kissed anyone. Yoongi scoffed, rolling his eyes at this. “This is so unrealistic. Like come on, seriously? How do you get to be that age having never dated, having never even kissed somebody? It’s a completely absurd concept.”

You started to curl in on yourself, looking down with a tortured expression on your face. You were scared to explain the truth, fearful that if he knew he wouldn’t want you anymore. After a few minutes like that, Yoongi finally noticed your body language. “Are you okay? What’s wrong?” He inquired gently. How were you going to explain this to him?

“I, um… I guess I kind of freaked out when you were talking about the plot being unrealistic… You were so sure it couldn’t happen that you were annoyed by it. And then I really didn’t know how to tell you that the plot line we were discussing is literally the same as me. I’ve never dated before, you’re the first… And when you kissed me for the first time, that was my first kiss.” You took a deep breath, having exerted a lot of energy to force out your words.

Yoongi’s eyes lit up in recognition, then guilt crept onto his features. “Baby no, I’m so sorry, I completely overreacted about the show. I shouldn’t have said all that. I never wanted to hurt your feelings.” Yoongi admitted sincerely. He could tell that you felt a little bit better after that reassurance.

"It’s not a bad thing to do things on a different timeline. Plus, I got the honor of being your first boyfriend because of it. Maybe I’ll be your last.” He said the last part quietly, smirking softly before pressing a kiss to your forehead.

Hoseok:

One of your favorite things about Hobi was his open and energetic attitude. He was truly one of the friendliest people you’d ever met, and it had felt easy to become close with him. You hadn’t been dating long at all, but the ease of conversation made it feel like you’d known each other for years.

On one particular day, the two of you were chatting over a dinner of your favorite delivery food. Hoseok was in the middle of a funny story about one of his exes, never one for unnecessary social boundaries or conventions, which was fine because you were laughing like crazy at the ridiculous tale he told. Then he continued, though, to tell (admittedly hilarious and absurd) stories about some of his other exes. You were entertained, certainly, though the number of people he seemed to have dated was a bit intimidating to you.

When he finally finished, he asked about *your* exes, and that was where the issue really started. You deflected, not wanting to directly bring attention to the fact that you had never dated before him. He became oddly persistent, seeming frustrated that you didn’t want to share. Not wanting him to misunderstand why you weren’t telling him what he wanted to know, you sucked it up and told him that he was your first boyfriend.

He was extremely surprised, but seemed to understand now why you had been reluctant to answer his questioning. He apologized for going on about exes for so long, and for inadvertently making you nervous. You assured him that it wasn’t a big deal, especially since the only important thing was your relationship moving forward, not either of your pasts.

Namjoon:

When you and Namjoon had only been together a few weeks (after a much longer friendship prior to your romantic relationship beginning), you were spending a nice chill evening at home, eating takeout and chatting. The two of you seemingly never ran out of things to talk about, one of the things you loved about being with him.

You don’t even remember what had led to it, but partway through the evening, he made some dumb joke about virgins and you visibly froze. You had yet to tell him about your lack of experience, and now you were terrified to. Was that really something he’d be bothered by? You hadn’t thought so, but his joking around about it made you doubt that. You did your best not to show your panic, paying unusually close attention to the glass of water you were drinking.

Unfortunately for you, your discomfort was completely apparent, and Namjoon asked you if you were okay. You nodded with a forced smile, making him frown, easily able to tell that you weren’t. You were afraid to tell him now because if it really bothered him that much, maybe it would disappoint him. Maybe it’d be a dealbreaker and he would lose interest in you. Unsure what to do, you stared at your hands, tense and worried. Namjoon lightly rested his hand on your shoulder, staring at you in concern. “Please tell me what’s wrong.” He implored gently.

At that moment you could no longer hold in your emotion, your fear, and tears began to leak from your eyes as you sniffled, starting to shake a bit as you cried. You let him pull you into his arms, holding you close as you tried to stop crying. After a few minutes of you trying to calm down, aided by Joon’s sweet behavior, he asked again what was wrong, insisting that you could tell him anything. Your chest felt tight, but you didn’t see a way out of sharing what had upset you.

When you explained what had happened, Namjoon felt horrible, cursing himself for having said something so dumb. He told you that it was just a stupid joke, not something he actually cared about, apologizing for upsetting you with his thoughtlessness. He made sure to assure you that it wasn’t a problem for him in the least, and that he was in no rush. Afterwards the whole situation seemed a little silly, though you remembered how genuinely panicked you had been only minutes before and shuddered. But things were immediately made better, the two of you snuggling up on the couch to watch a movie.

Jimin:

Your blossoming relationship with Jimin made you feel like you were walking on a cloud. He was incredibly sweet and so much fun to spend time with, you felt very lucky to be dating him now. Just to be sweet, you had picked up food from his favorite lunch place and were bringing it to him at the BigHit building, where he was currently busy at work in a practice room.

When you arrived, the door to the room was open, but you heard voices coming from inside. You only paused when you heard Jimin say your name. You didn’t mean to eavesdrop, and you were about to announce your presence until you realized what he was saying. “You know I really like her, man, I just feel so unsure right now. There has been like, zero physical affection up to this point, nothing beyond hugs and holding hands.” Jimin grumbled, sounding irritated.

Tae hummed in acknowledgement, pausing before inquiring “So obviously you’re frustrated, but what are you thinking about it?” Jimin sighed. “Maybe she just doesn’t like me as much as I like her. I don’t want to think anything bad about her, but what if she’s playing me? Like, she doesn’t have actual feelings for me.” He sounded very down, clearly hurt by the mere possibility. At that moment you were so shocked by what you were hearing, you accidentally dropped the bag of takeout, hurrying to pick it up, but you’d already drawn attention to yourself.

Jimin and Taehyung looked beyond shocked to see you, and you realized you were crying. Taehyung excused himself to let the two of you talk. You walked farther into the room, approaching the boys. “I thought we could have lunch… I know you don’t take enough breaks, and I really wanted to see you…” You admitted quietly, unable to actually make eye contact.

“I just feel so horrible, it’s all my fault that you don’t even know how crazy I am about you. I can’t believe…. I let you be unsure of how much I care about you. It’s my fault, I’m so sorry Jimin.” By the end of what you were saying, you were holding back full sobs. Seeing how distressed you were, Jimin wasted no time in rushing to you and pulling you into his arms, hugging you close.

When you’d finally calmed down and stopped crying, you thought you owed him an explanation. “The lack of physical affection isn’t because I don’t like you. I like you more than I’ve ever liked anybody. I’ve just… never done anything. I haven’t even been in a relationship before now, it’s all new to me.” You admitted, feeling Jimin stiffen in your hug.

When you pulled back to look at him, tears were welling up in his eyes. “Oh, I’m the worst…” He muttered, feeling so guilty. “I was just frustrated, I was feeling insecure. Now that I know, I don’t mind one bit waiting for anything until you’re ready.” He assured you, planting a quick kiss on your forehead as you nodded understanding.

Tae:

It had only been a few weeks since Tae had confessed his feelings to you and the pair of you had started dating. Long before that, you’d been close friends, so you had spent a lot of time together over time. During one of your first few movie nights as a couple, things slowly began to escalate between you. You were sitting close together, seemingly focused on the film, when Tae moved to put an arm around you, pulling you closer so you were snuggled up beside him.

His eyes never left the screen, but there was a telltale little smirk on his face. You rolled your eyes a little, but you certainly didn’t mind. Despite it being such a small thing, at this stage in your relationship, this was a little bit thrilling. Soon you could feel him staring at you, and you turned your head to look back at him. His face had gotten much closer to yours than you’d expected. “…Tae?” you whispered, seeing both affection and mischief in his eyes. “Yes love?” He replied quietly in his gorgeous low voice, making you shiver just slightly.

You shook your head almost imperceptibly, and before you knew it his lips were on yours. You froze, all of this being completely new and foreign for you. Feeling you stiffen and fail to reciprocate the kiss, Tae pulled back to look at your face, wearing an expression of concern. “Um, I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have just… assumed you felt the same way…” He muttered nervously, not making eye contact. “No!” You exclaimed a little louder than you meant to, quieting your voice to a near-whisper before speaking again.

“No, Tae, I do feel the same way! I really, really do. I love you. I have since we were just friends. I… I want you too. Just, um, I don’t know what to do…. That was my first kiss just now and I kind of just panicked and froze.” You confessed, watching the surprise and then recognition cover his face. That was all it took to take his unsure expression back to a smug smirk. Knowing the power his voice held over you, he leaned in close to you to speak in your ear when he said “in that case, I think we need some practice, don’t you?” Oh boy.

Jungkook:

You had been seeing Jungkook for a couple of months now and it was more than apparent that he was smitten with you (and vice versa). He complimented you frequently, his heart eyes for you always clearly on display. The only problem was the way you practically jumped away from him any time he got close to you. He had definitely noticed your weird behavior, and though you didn’t know what to do about it, you knew it was only a matter of time until he brought it up in conversation.

When that moment came, you had just clammed up and pulled back from him when he tried to put his arm around you while watching a movie. When you saw his expression in reaction, you felt immensely guilty, seeing the hurt on his face. After a moment it shifted to extreme irritation, him clenching his jaw in annoyance. “What’s your problem? I can’t get anywhere near you without you freaking out and moving away in a hurry.” You couldn’t make eye contact anymore at that point, feeling the tears well up in your eyes as you were filled with the fear that you had ruined things with him.

“I… I don’t really know why I keep doing that, it’s just all new to me. I’ve never dated anyone before you so I kind of don’t know what to do with myself most of the time.” You confessed, trying to mask the sniffle that you gave as the first tear rolled down your cheek. Now it was Jungkook’s turn to feel guilty. He approached you slowly, asking you to look at him in a gentle voice. When you did, you saw that the irritation was completely gone, replaced with remorse and fondness. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that, I could have just asked like an actual adult rather than how I behaved. I guess I was just insecure, afraid that you don’t like me in the same way I like you.” He explained, and you nodded slightly in understanding.

“That’s not it at all! I really *really* like you. A relationship is just totally uncharted territory for me and I handled it wrong. I should’ve just told you.” You sighed, the heaviness leaving your heart as an adorable bunny smile grew on his face. “Uncharted territory, huh? Well let me be your travel guide. We can be explorers together.” You rolled your eyes at his dumb joke, but smiled in spite of how silly his words were. You felt like now, with it all out in the open, things could be good with the two of you.

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