#which is still a child BUT LIKE 11 IS SO MUCH WORSE?? HOLY SHIT???
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Rereading the Percy Jackson series and holy shit, these are kids. Like, these are 11 and 12 year olds just… running around. Getting their lives threatened. Saving the world. Holy shit, who let this happen, THAT IS A WHOLE ASS CHILD.
#pjo#Percy Jackson and the olympians#my posts#fuck man I remembered this kids as like 16 or 17#which is still a child BUT LIKE 11 IS SO MUCH WORSE?? HOLY SHIT???#Percy you small child you were given so much at such a young age#every kid here at camp half blood really#but still#man imagine finding out your dad’s a god at fucking 11 years old#AND THEN THERES ANNABETH#percy ‘I can have anything? then pay your fucking child support’ Jackson makes a lot more sense now#rereading this series as an adult has me screaming at all these adults in here oh my god WHAT ARE YOU DOING
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that everyone loops AU makes me insane bc we know that siffrin is fairly observant even if they miss stuff (... missing eye) a lot.
which means everyone has to be constantly whispering to communicate when they think siffrin isnt listening. which siffrin would. 100%. so obviously pick up on the literal first loop onwards. and they'd NEVER improve their opsec because siffrin would NEVER even let out even a remote hint he can hear them whispering and talking without them. even if they cant make out the words
actual hell for siffrin "my family hates me actually" nolastname
It does make me insane actually, I know I like to joke about Siffrin being oblivious but a lot of his general "oblivious" nature comes from a variety of things that would NOT interfere with their ability to realize the party is hiding stuff from them. As you said (and iirc Basilpaste has mentioned), their eye causes them a lot of trouble as it's a recent disability that interferes with their ability to find things (the key in Euphrasie's office and the key in the mirror room + the trap in death corridor) which would explain his general "oblivious" nature when it comes to physical things such as the counter. Its a disability! But he doesnt react to it as such! So a lot of the fandom tends to also forget that it's interfering with their own perception of how Siffrin see's themself and the world. Then, we also have their "oblivious" nature to social interactions but honestly, a lot of it comes from his memory issues (losing a TON of cultural identity and language can absolutely fuck up your ability to ask about certain things) and his self esteem/mental issues that make it so that he can't accept that they are desirable or wanted so... good things tend to be assumed to be something he made up or isn't true despite it being true. (I highly doubt that Siffrin isn't aware on some level they are loved and cared for by the party, it's why some of the scenes in the game hit harder for them because they know! He does! He just can't accept that reality)
Having said all this, it makes the scene's where the party tries to play keep away with information even worse! Because that's Siffrin's whole job! Knowing when things are sketchy or bad, as to keep everyone safe from unexpected things like traps or blockades is his job!! It is literally his job description, and as much as the party tends to overlook this, Siffrin would catch on as soon as it became apparent even Bonnie was in on it. I'm sure Siffrin could write off Odile, Mirabelle, and Isabeau discussing something in whispers if they thought it had to do with Bonnie (this Siffrin would still think Bonnie hates them and wouldnt understand why) but at the point that even Bonnie is clearly in on it, it becomes apparent that Siffrin is the only one out of the loop (lol). Which, holy shit, the absolute wreckage of realizing you are being kept away from something that a child is in on... the only reason that happens if its something about you specifically. And as you said! Siffrin wouldn't say anything! Because they want to stay with the party, so if they help, and do better, maybe they can get back in the parties good graces? Maybe if they help more, maybe if they can do something that the others cant, they can be kept around? Even if its not for the same reasons Siffrin wants to stay with them, maybe they can get the others to want them to stay? None of this gets communicated because if its something wrong with Siffrin, then they have to fix it himself! Which gets the oroboros tail stuck in his mouth, because the more Siffrin tries to help in this au, the more they fuck up the plans the others have. Its so messed up!! I love it dearly.
This is Bonnie's secret quest dialed up to an 11 on how much it hurts Siffrin and the party would literally never realize this until it hits them in the end. Like oh god, I think I would simply have to make it up for Siffrin forevermore after the loops lol. Patron Saint of go fuck yourself over here is a sniffling sad wet cat of a fella. I love this au, I love it so much
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so I went to see Les Misérables yesterday and my god was it one of the most emotional experiences I’ve ever had in my entire life
I survive the first half all good, one day more was fucking inspirational and it was beautiful and I almost cried because of the sheer joy it brought me I think it was the pure triumphantness if that’s even a word that almost brought me to tears, but then the second half started.
I started crying at on my own, and did not stop until they got to the sewers.
I also knew who was going to die and when because I’d watched the film and read a summary of the story, but that didn’t make it any less heartbreaking.
the first set of shooting at the barricade made me sob so hard for no apparent reason it was sort of like a trauma response to the guns I just started shaking and crying and couldn’t stop and then Eponine died in Marius’ arms which was really sad, and then the let’s go drink some alcohol song happened which was mildly stupid but I was still crying and recovering from the shooting and them all letting the fathers and women go made me sad again
then gavroche was being gavroche the little icon he is and snuck out and I knew he was going to die but this little 11 year old boy sneaks out of the barricade and there is nothing but silence then gavroche singing his little people song and then
*gun shot*
silence
then the singing starts again so we’re all like oh thank god he’s still alive and then he climbs to the top of the barricade from the part not facing the audience and then reappears and just before he finishes his phrase there’s another shot and he flinches before falling into one of the students and I cried my eyes out BUT
THE SECOND SHOOTING PART
IS STRAIGHT FROM FUCKING HELL
I sat there in my seat, knowing full well who was dying and when, and the lighting and the sound was tremendous and so bloody cool but then people just started dying left right and centre and I was shaking and crying again because of the shooting and the people just dying and collapsing and dying and crying out made it so much worse AND THEN
ENJOLRAS
MY CHILD
I LOVED HIM
HIS ACTOR WAS SO SWEET HE SMILED ALL THE TIME HE WAS SO CHIVALROUS AND JUST AGH AND THEN HE GOT SHOT
HE GOT SHOT
AND I KNEW HE WAS GOING TO DIE
BUT THE WAY HE DID IT
OH
I CRIED SO HARD
HE FEEL OFF THE BARRICADE INTO THE OTHER SIDE AND OH I WAS SOBBING QUIETLY IN MY SEAT
AND THEN
THE STUDENT THAT REALLY LOVED GAVROCHE
HE WAS THE LAST ONE STANDING
HE COULDVE LIVED
BUT NO
HE CLIMBED TO THE TOP
AND FLUNG HIS ARMS OUT LIKE AN OFFERING
AND GOT SHOT
AND DIED
so I’m a wreck by this point and the ENJOLRAS FUCKING COMES BACK
HES LYING ON HIS BACK
DEAD
IN A FUCKING WHEELBARROW
AND GAVROCHE IS STILL DEAD ON THE SIDE OF THE STAGE
OH
I WAS SO DONE
then the sewer scene happened and that shit was just a bit dodgy then I got a bit teary again when Javert died even though I hated him this guy had a slicked back ponytail ok it was kinda odd he also gave off werewolf vibes kinda like young Fenrir Greyback idk
then empty chairs and empty tables
empty chairs and empty tables
that song
the way it was acted
it owes me therapy
the entirety of the “revolution” part of the second half owes me therapy and about 20 boxes of tissues
there were candles on the floor and Marius was singing and then all his dead friends appeared and I started crying again and then they all picked up the candles and his dead friends blew theirs out and I was a mess and then they all exited but not Enjolras Enjolras enjoys causing me pain so he sticks around for an extra couple of seconds to look somehow mournful but also hopeful at the same time and then exits and holy shit I was a goner I was dead and gone I didn’t think I had any tears left and then the standing ovation happened
standing ovations never fail to make me cry for some reason but when all the dead people came back on and obviously Enjolras I suffered like never before and sobbed so hard it was unbelievable
but then
I was at a party today and i was trying to explain it to my friends and I ended up having a full on crisis and breaking down again and just cried for a bit about it and my friends were looking at me like
wtf is she on this must’ve been terrible
while I was still trying to talk and having to take breaks to breathe and cry but I am also on my period so I don’t know if it was hormones for both the party and the play or if it was just so depressing that I couldn’t stop crying
#why is some theatre so sad#Les miserable is indeed very miserable#I cried so much I don’t think I have any left#and then it occurred to me that my school is putting it on#so I’d have to watch people I know die#but idk if that would be harder or easier because what if I don’t like them#and I don’t believe it could be as dramatic as the actual theatre but idk#I think about it and I cry this isn’t going well
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parental venting ✌️
Took years for my mom to rebuild her goodwill for me after subjecting me to complete hell as a teen and then undid it within 3 months cause her trauma around drugs made her using weed to self medicate. For the record, her self medicating made her stop being a complete nightmare towards me. when my sister still lived with us, she and I basically had to keep hammering it in to her how vicious she gets without it.
I literally begged her in tears to either find some alternate treatment method (like ADHD meds) or keep self medicating cause I couldnt live with her being so nasty towards me again, cause holy shit I dont even know how I survived it in my teen years. I didn’t even know how deep her trauma went past “I worked as a pharmacist in the 80’s/90’s and I saw people on medications getting worse, and I dont believe people should be on drugs for their entire lives” until she cried yelled at me about how she had to save her aunt from an overdose … I had no idea about that. I (and my sister) wouldnt have pressed so hard about her getting ADHD meds if I knew but she never *said* anything. She didn’t tell me her pain was worse with weed (we talked about it more later and it was basically removing the filter for the pain)
But beyond that she said she’s never doing therapy again, that she is finding herself and will be meditating on answers, and that she won’t change because I want her to cause everyone has dictated what she should be… I was literally trying to stop her from fucking everything up between us again. She would always complain before about how I never talk to her during and after my teen years and its like. You did this. This is of your own making. And I was trying to stop it again, but she cannot grasp the concept of others wanting better for her or wanting to take care of her. She literally didn’t understand why my sister wanted to offer financial support and make sure she has a safety net.
God even when I was a teen it was like. You dont understand why I leave messes? Why I never “try” my absolute hardest? Why my hygiene is awful? Why I go to bed at 2 am and why I start my homework at 11 pm? Why I always felt tired (not sleepy exhaustion, but fatigue)? I told her it was ADHD, that I should get a diagnosis, but she didn’t want to put me on “meth” and that I should just build a routine and make schedules. Not listening when I told her it feels impossible. Then yelling at me and calling me lazy lazy lazy.
I know she was dealing with intense stress cause my dad was an emotionally cheating bastard, but god. I became suicidal for fucks sake. Nevermind the fact I was dating my ex which is a whole other can of worms but. Why scream at your child that you never got to assert your own identity because you were frustrated that they said “they” when you called them “she”, as an example. That’s just a microcosm of it all.
She isn’t nearly as bad now but I shouldn’t start disassociating and actually contemplate offing myself cause I messed up and made another inedible recipe ,
I dont know how much longer childhood attachment up until age 13 can carry this relationship
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Ohhhhh my god I feel you on this whole bc shot thing. I've been on it for a little over two years because I'm trans and getting my period was so bad for my emotional wellbeing I had to do something. I didn't wand an IUD, and I forget to take my medication a lot so the pill wasn't ideal. I was told by two different obgyns that they wouldn't consider removing the uterus becsuse at the time I was only 21 and ""What if you chsnge your mind!!!"" 🙄🙄🙄🙄 so I really dint have a whole lot of options.
On one hand I like not having to worry about the whole thing for 10/11 weeks at a time but on the other hand I also really like not having feeble bones! I've been taking calcium supplements but the pills are huge and I worry it isn't covering the issue entirely. I don't get enough calcium to begin with becsuse I can't drink milk and stuff, so I worry that it's a bandage on a knife wound so to speak.
Last time I was at the clinic for my shot I raised the issue again and the doctor there was like "wait you're literally trans and have no plans for children why the hell don't we just get rid of it????" And I'm just sitting there like why the fuck did the last two people I see not give me this option!?
Anyways I need to discuss the idea more with her but oh oh to get this fucking thing out of me....oh to dream....
Sorry rambling in your asks but this sucks and I sure hope we both get the cool fun and fresh resolution :)
oh my god anon, i feel you. i've been on it for...almost 5 years now? I think around August 2019 is when I started it finally. It was unfortunately the only option we could find for me. I actually can't have any bc that has actual estrogen in it because of my high blood pressure and the family history of blood clots. And like, at first it was fine and dandy! I was okay with it because after 7 weeks of a heavy cycle I was so exhausted and just ready for it to be over. And it's been gone! pretty regularly for the last several years.
Sometimes if I'm incredibly stressed it will sneak up on me but it's like, leagues better than it was. Max 3 days and barely anything at all. So, very manageable for someone who y'know. had it much worse (to the point it would cause my iron to drop significantly all the time).
I hate obgyns who refuse to do things because "you might regret it later on" like, no actually I think I'll regret having this thing inside my body I don't intend to use and having to stay on the shot for the rest of my life. I'm in a same-sex relationship, I don't ever intend to physically carry a child, I just want the thing gone lmao. I've told obgyns that in the past and yet they still insisted on telling me that I might "regret" it.
So, my surgeon did mention that viactiv is a good supplement, which is apparently a chocolate calcium chew haha. My biggest concern is that I have osteoarthritis and being over 30 now, my bone density doesn't come back as fast as it does for someone in their 20s. My doctor is also concerned about it too. I mean like also the weight gain is terrible too, like holy shit it's been the worst (strong ass bc, strong ass side effects I GUESS)
THOUGH APPARENTLY there is a bone density therapy that they can do which will help with keeping your bones strong. I didn't know about it and no one ever thought to mention it to me when they started talking about my bone density lmao. Normal Calcium supplements make me extremely nauseous and I can't take them, so I just stopped lmao.
And I think from there, that's when I sort of decided I wanted to look into getting rid of my uterus for good. Like, I don't plan to have kids, I don't need it. Why should I continue this shot, why should I keep putting myself through this.
Also, idk if you've experienced it, or if its just because I been on it for so long or if it's something else entirely, but in place of the period I just get cramps :) really bad ones :) it's great and what I've always wanted from bc haha.
honestly that's a good doctor, why haven't they suggested it sooner? Literally the surgeon I'm seeing is, ironically, the first obgyn I saw when I switched insurances and go to where I go now, and from the beginning she was like "you're in a monogamous same-sex relationship whenever you want the surgery we can just take care of that" and idk I wasn't in the right place then, I think, to consider it.
yeah it's a long process from my understanding, we're building a case right now, as my surgeon called it, gonna have some imaging stuff done, a few more tests and then we'll set the date and just. remove it. thankfully, no early menopause for me (ironically the One Thing i was most worried about?? I don't know, I've got so much going on, I didn't want to even consider dealing with menopause bc guess what the treatment for that is-- the same damn shot I'm trying to escape lmao) ANON!!! I wish the best for both of us!!! Let me know how things go!! (if you're comfortable!!)
#menstruation tw#anon asks#anon you never gotta apologize for rambling in my asks pls know that im always here to talk <3#i am dealing with the same thing you are it seems (the hell shot)#weight tw
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I posted 20,106 times in 2022
That's 17,731 more posts than 2021!
22 posts created (0%)
20,084 posts reblogged (100%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@aikogumi
@hyenaskill
@kvetchcore
@nil-the-glitch
@the-ruler-of-rabbits
I tagged 1,724 of my posts in 2022
#save - 137 posts
#neverafter spoilers - 52 posts
#lmao - 36 posts
#i love this - 33 posts
#holy shit - 17 posts
#owo - 17 posts
#ough - 16 posts
#neverafter - 15 posts
#cackling - 14 posts
#technoblade - 14 posts
Longest Tag: 140 characters
#she’s a girlboss she’s a manipulator she needs to be liked by everyone she’s actually super awkward but doesn’t show it i love her so dearly
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
girl help the animatic i have for sun and moon to will wood and the tapeworms’ “dr. sunshine is dead” is incredible but it’s a) in my head and b) out of my artistic rangge
11 notes - Posted January 13, 2022
#4
SHAMING YOU SHAMING YOU SHAMING YOU SHAMING YOU SHAMING YOU SHAMING YOU SHAMING Y---
*does my silly little dance of shame*
12 notes - Posted November 8, 2022
#3
Tell me more about Del? :0 btw I support womens wrongs 💖
HELLO HI YES
oh my god i love del she is so beloved to me she is my first dnd character i ever made and she is so good and somehow she is still alive, she’s a water genasi swashbuckler rogue (level 7)/hexblade warlock (level 1) except she got that hexblade level from the literal fucking kraken to help protect her Actual warlock friend who also serves the kraken
her girlbossing comes from lying directly to various people’s faces. one time a shopkeeper was vaguely racist to her (she’s blue and they were in Barovia) and so she got a nat20 to intimate him into giving her all the shit she wanted for literally nothing. she also lied directly to strahd von zarovich’s face a couple times and while that made me as her player So Fucking Nervous she bluffed her way through like no one’s business. she did it again recently when the literal head of the mage’s guild was found out to be corrupt and she went to confront him about how her alchemist friend got cursed when he was supposed to be watching the wards. she’s also a constant poison hoarder she’s got like 6 different poisons at all times (never know when you need to assassinate a noble)
the rest of her party includes:
aforementioned kraken warlock who sucks at Everything but magic shit (lovingly) - @melchoinsassy
Big Sister Rogue Mentor/Friend - @aikogumi
forest druid/green dragon sorcerer who’s kind of oblivious and is also a fucking wereraven somehow - (don’t remember her blog sadge)
coast druid who was also somehow related to strahd and also is ingratiated into the feywild and can also cast fireball if she’s angry enough (spoiler: she always is) - @b0redt0wn
way of shadows monk/bloodhunter who worships the stars and also kicks ass in combat - @musical-in-theory
cult survivor paladin #1, former neverwinter royal guard but now a full-time mom (both for the party and for the construct child she found in Barovia) - @4everinvideos
cult survivor paladin #2, former bane loyalist with a brother still embroiled in the cult who is actively working against us, she also refuses to practice self-preservation - @the-ruler-of-rabbits
18 notes - Posted October 28, 2022
#2
ok but something that’s eating me alive is the fact that we know. we know. we are almost 100% certain that the wolf transformed ylfa into a werewolf herself, right? (or werewolf adjacent). like that’s the whole thing. that’s not really the question here.
the question is: when was she turned?
cause i can see Two possibilities here, and i don’t know which one is worse:
a) ylfa strays off the path, wastes too much time, and goes to her grandmother’s house, only to find the wolf there already and her grandmother dead. as she tries to escape, she’s bitten and turned, and she runs back home to her mother
OR
b) ylfa strays off the path, and runs into the wolf. bitten, turned, and frightened, she runs to her place of comfort, her grandmother’s house, but turns completely and kills her grandmother. she awakens, and horrified by what’s she’s done, she runs home to seek answers
141 notes - Posted December 1, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
holy shit
14,866 notes - Posted September 8, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
#tumblr2022#year in review#my 2022 tumblr year in review#your tumblr year in review#LMAO#tw misinformation#look i made that meme in the heat of the moment
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Im finally watching The Owl House instead of just seeing spoilers on Tumblr so Im gonna live-post my reactions cuz Holy shit do I have some things to say right now-
1. Camila sounds nothing like I imagined
2. LUZ DONT THROW BOOKS AWAY WHAT THE FUCK
3. Eda sounds nothing like I thought????
4. Luz… baby… you didn’t see the door with a giant eye and- ya know what- not worth it
5. Why is Eda not sus about a human? I am definitely missing something
6. Is Alex Hirsch the voice for the guard?
7. Why hand come off?????
8. Luz is self aware. This is good.
9. HOOTY??????? THE FUCK????
10. Luz! Don’t just grab people and creatures!
11. Wait- have I been mispronouncing Luz’ name? I thought it was Luhz not Looz
12. Eda! Blackmail and manipulation isn’t cool!
13. by the way both Earth and Boiling Isles conforming places are so disgusting like the fuck
14. Luz I love you and im concerned by your lax reaction to this new world
15. the warden is disgusting
16. h- thats not how physics work??? how are the doors opening???
17. Eda you’re great for protecting the child first
18. Luz is so cool for rebellion tho
Done! I think Im gonna rewatch each episode again when I don’t pay attention enough so I can write these. Hard to remember my questions if I pay attention too hard but ya know I wanna express how I feel too
1. wait these people are overreacting sometimes. the snakes and spiders? yeah absolutely valid to run. The sausages and eyelids???? Y’all overreacting. I mean the wasted food sucks but like its obviously just sausages guys. The eyelid thing is just something at least one kid does every year and its gross but not scream and run worthy. These people are so rude. At least the principal and Camila are concerned about Luz cuz of her seemingly not recognizing what is and isnt real vs just being dicks about her hobbies. It could be much worse in that way. Also Camila worrying about Luz’ lack of friends is good, too. Some kids do fine alone, but most really do need a support system other than family.
(ugh why is the next line down here thats so annoying)
2. Boiling Isles is like- lawless??? Clearly the warden gets away with his crazy arrests (kinda like Warden from Danny Phantom) cuz he’s just a dick. Like how is the guy selling person-eating icecream allowed but a fanfic writer isnt???? Like this is all clearly a reference to queerness cuz like fanfic doesn’t bother anyone else unless you see it out whilst that icecream could absolutely hurt some random civilian. The shit queer people used to and still get in trouble for with no valid reason- this also could be referencing race as well cuz it is disgusting how many POC are arrested or hurt due to plain racism rather than justice by law.
3. oh my godex I have been saying Luz’ name wrong! I thought it was Luhz! Is it Looz cuz its short for Lucida? Also the fact Eda thinks she’s clever for a human makes me worry everyone in Boiling Isles will think Luz is dumb just because of her species which is hella speciest and yeah im worried
4. ): giraffes are cool. Eda why
5. I kinda hate Hooty not gonna lie. Also ??? Eda why you leave your stuff outside ???
6. I just realized that the Conformitorium may actually be a proper prison that just has too many lax laws. Also how tf did does Luz open and close the door????
7. Luz’ willingness to just trust Eda is concerning. Also the BK crown is funny. Eda is a softie
8. oh the doors are opened normally itd just hurt ouch. Is the scene of them falling done by that Baxter dude cuz its kinda smooth af
9. I really hope Luz’ speech means something to kids and teens. It feels cringely bad to me but im also literally 20 so its not meant for me
10. Luz… you cant just offer up your services for ANYTHING! Standards! Boundaries! Her age is showing here. (what is her age? is she like 12?)
11. That photo thing is absolutely real. Some people think its a dramatic movie thing but Ive done it genuinely. Who had the sleeping bag? Eda or Luz? Also love her phone case. Cannot imagine sleeping without a blanket.
Properly done this time! I think I’ll watch the next one once through then ask questions though cuz this took far too long. Ill remember the questions eventually.
#the owl house#first reaction#episode 1#uh#tw conversion camp mention#tw racism mention#I guess#oops im a bit too into analyzing stuff heh
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Michael Myers X Murderer! Reader - Headcannons - "Death Card"
Also, thank you (Wattpad Person) for requesting this :) I know your the last request I got, so I prolly should have done someone else's request first, but your's was just easiest to find. (Also, I have it bad for Michael so )
Have fun reading this! I'm writing this on my laptop instead of computer so sorry if the formatting turns out worse than usual :/
Also...someone made fun of me for putting, "eight," and, "11," in the same sentence. I guess not many people know this, but anything under ten is supposed to be written out unless their fractions or decimals.
By the way, these basically aren't headcannons lol. It's just me wanting to write out a story but not being good enough to so I just write it down in simpler terms.
Enjoy~
Not only is Y/N just another famous murder who casually takes the lives of people, but she's amazing at hiding
..........until-
Y/N was an abusive home after her parents died when she was a toddler. Her aunt and uncle neglected her but karma came back at them when their car fell off a bridge, causing the pair to drown. The downside for the young Y/N was that she was put into a foster institution. And we all know by now that foster care are full of fights, drugs, weed, alcohol, and shitty employees.
As a young girl entering such a bad place, she was always a target. You know that sense of fear, worthlessness, and loneliness fucked with her head to where she felt lashing out felt great.
She would be unable to stop herself as she plunged a sharp object in and out of this prick that held her down for so long. But once she heard voices from other kids, she ran.
The story made headlines as the next big attack from yet another child. That's right, next. There was someone who inspired her to do what she did.
Of course, she always had that memory in the back of her head. That boy's violent actions filled her with immeasurable awe when she saw the news. However, she always had something more important to think about.
With so much dissatisfaction with her past, she could only fill herself up with adding things on to her in the present, and more in the future.
Y/N would steal Poker cards from people and always use the Ace of Spades to mark her kills by sliding the card into a wound. After all, betting games were the highlight of her day in the foster institution. She was always so good at it that it became her pride.
All these headlines and stories about how evil she is became such a big deal in her head. Such an overwhelming feeling of adrenaline every time she heard the name people would call her.
"The Death Card," is another name for Ace of Spades in most English countries. It was the perfect fit for Y/N.
(Ya'll, I feel like a fucking genius for coming up with that lol)
She was so good at hiding, truly. Kill someone in Kentucky, then move to Missouri. Killing someone there and move to Georgia, and so on.
Only in her hometown was she caught.
Michael was the one who started it all for her, as their same age and hometown made her feel connected to him, and finally where he got caught would be the same place she did.
14 years of hiding and killing led her to meeting him
Michael spent these 14 years sitting in complete silence. No talking, no humming, no singing, nothing. It's like he was always in his own world of thought, too busy in his imagination to interact with the real world.
Of course, there was times when he did pay attention to what's around him.
The news was the only thing he'd really pay close attention to. After all, what if something happens to Haddonfield while's he's stuck in there, and that causes plenty of people he once knew to move away?
But per usual, there was nothing about it
But there was something that caught his attention even by a little
"After 14 years, the notorious Death Card or Card of Death has finally been caught," says the Haddonfield Police Department. "While we're unsure of her motives thus far, we have been able to learn of who she is. Y/N L/N made the headlines once in 1980 at the age of eight as one of America's biggest crime cases with children as the culprit, having brutally stabbed a 15 year old boy. This happened just two years after the Michael Myers case, when a six year old boy stabbed his older sister in 1978. All else the HPD are saying is that her frantic behavior may lead her to a mental institution rather than letting her make legal decisions in court."
Michael paid attention to all the details of the report. For this report to be made about Haddonfield, chances are they'll be meeting each other soon.
The Death Card was a violent killer Michael heard of plenty of times however he never paid close attention to.
(Holy shit these are just headcannons so why am I writing long paragraphs)
He had to say, hearing about her violent stabbings were the highlight of his week. Even if he never felt strong about hearing other people having fun with their lives like she was, he couldn't help but almost feel pushed to do what she is. Living freely and ending those who cross his path...
Saying he was jealous or inspired would be a stretch though
He would spend his days painting paper mache masks while thinking of doing what she was for sure but he hated how she would show off by using those cards as if she didn't have a goal in mind, which was annoying to him. If you have nothing to live for, then kill yourself was his mindset.
Michael watched as Y/N stepped into court. He know hundreds- no thousands- of people watched as this woman of pure evil stepped into the courtroom. Her H/C hair flowed as she walked passed everyone, glaring at them with her cold E/C eyes.
A look of slight intrigue replaced his normal dull expression as he watched the girl stand up before the judge, smiling sassily at the cameras as to tell them to fuck off. Michael can recognize that look of intrusion on her face as she was practically interrogated. Clearly, she hated it there.
He watched contently as all the mystery surrounding the Card of Death was revealed to everyone in this world. Days went by of this court case before finally, she pled insanity. After all, she was known to have some underlying mental conditions as she remained so calm when talking about the varies of ways she would kill.
It's easy to see that many felt bad for the girl. Such trauma growing up led to the creation of this unfortunate human. But Michael? He didn't feel bad at all.
He never was sad or truly sympathetic however...he did feel pity. Somewhere in his soulless eyes held pity for this sad, sad girl he was soon to meet. Not exactly sympathy, but simply pity. And with that came respect.
The day that Y/N stepped foot into those doors was the day the two would meet for the very first times. Over 63 counts of first degree murder in 14 years led to the meeting of these two serial killers. At the time, they were both only 20.
Tables were scattered across the room with people talking or simply sitting alone by themselves on them. There was TV in a few different places around the room and board games in a couple of shelves. In the back of the large room was windows that showed the outside that felt so out of reach forever.
As the metal doors slammed behind her, she felt eyes on her immediately. Y/N slowly scanned the room as she gulped back the intense fear gathering in her stomach. Her lips parted open as she began to breath heavily and press her back on those metal doors.
She was so trapped and scared when she first entered that foster institution. She couldn't help but think of karma when her aunt would hurt her so badly for those five years before she died. But 63 murders are so much worse, so what could karma do to her to balance her evil deeds with punishment?
Laughter and giggled filled her ears as she shut her eyes tightly and covered her face with her arms. Her vision was going blurry; she was having a panic attack. Tears fell from her eyes as she whimpered quietly to herself.
She may be the Card of Death however she never had to be in a large group of people in so long.
Her body jerked as she was suddenly pulled away from those metal doors. She cried out when she saw a large man, around 6'7 (204cm), pull her away.
In just a few seconds, she was pulled to a metal table and forced to sit as the large man stood behind her with his hands on her shoulders.
Her body tensed unimaginably as they remained still for a few seconds, quiet aside from the occasional sobs of Y/N.
Then suddenly, the pressure on her shoulders disappeared. She heard nothing until the sound of creaking from the seat in front of her interrupted.
Y/N felt eyes on her. They were so intense over her.
A minute passed before her own eyes fluttered open, meeting the man's eyes in front of her.
A shiver ran down her spine when she came face to face with stone cold blue eyes that seemed to hold nothing within them. No light, no soul, and no sympathy. Not only that, but a orange mask made of paper mache covered the rest of his face as well.
The man tilted his head before lifting his hand onto the table, sliding something over to her. Y/N looked down at what he gave her.
"Don't speak. Write."
Michael had given her a paper with these words. His handwriting was hard to read considering he nearly never wrote anything so it took a moment before Y/N got the message. When she did, she looked back up at the man and nodded just a little so it was barely recognizable.
Obviously this conversation was to be secretive so she knew to barely show signs of interactions. The camera couldn't pick up on such a small nod to what evidence is there of them even interacting?
Michael slid the paper back to him and brought a pencil to the paper after erasing the original text. When he slid it back to her, it read, "Don't let anyone know what we say Y/N. They watch everything." When Y/N looked back up at him, she saw him dart his eyes from something behind her to something on the wall between them. She turned her head slightly to the side, noticing a camera on the wall. So she understood.
Michael had dropped on the pencil on the table, meaning it was her turn to reply. She erased the previous text before writing down, "Who are you? How do you know me?" When she slid it back, Michael took the pencil in his hand again.
"Michael Myers. I was a well known case two years before you. We heard a lot about you on TV."
"As in the boy who killed his sister at the age of six?"
"Yes. You know me?"
Y/N's eyes widened slightly as she frantically wrote down a reply. Without even noticing, the knot in her stomach had completely disappeared without a trace.
"I remember seeing your case. I thought about everyday."
Michael didn't reply immediately after reading. Instead, he waited a few minutes and stared down at the table. A look of confusion remained on Y/N's features as she impatiently waited. Then suddenly, Michael erased what was on the paper and simply drew a masked person looking somewhat like himself with a knife in his hand. He drew dead stick figures around it with blood splattering everywhere.
Michael knew that this picture would cover up all the eraser marks and writings that were still slightly visible. So when the guard that walked up behind Y/N without her knowing popped up, he didn't see any text.
Of course, this did lead to the paper being taken away. Then minutes after that, both of the pair was taken away.
If there's one thing as scary as analyzing The Shape and caring for him, it's that person who cares and analyzes him finding him interacting with someone else for the first time.
Whenever Y/N got sat down in her cell, she knew what was about to happen. She was sat down in her bed as a man she'd never seen before sat down in the chair that came with her little desk in her cell with a guard next to him.
Have you ever spoken to Michael? Are you related to him? How do you know him? How does he know you? Have you ever met his family? Why did he interact to you? Why was he drawing things for you? Does he like you? Does he hate you? Did he write to you? Did you hear him talk?
So many questions were asked by this Dr Loomis in such short amount of time. "No, no, I don't, no, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, no, no," and mostly these were your responses. No matter how many times Loomis asked, you dully replied.
You simply said he sat you down and you began to draw together, both filling in a piece of the drawing together.
And eventually, you got out.
Another day went by of "talking" to Michael.
And another.
And another.
The talks were nice and casual. What goes on in the asylum? What goes on in the outside? Who should I avoid? What's the reputation of the HPD?
Do you want to escape?
But it was only a matter of time before finally the two were friends.
Y/N was kinda just in her cell one night in bed. Then she just gasped and widened her eyes. Wait, are we friends? We're friends, right!
Michael already knew of their friendship like two weeks before she did. It felt so...wrong for him. He had always been alone and silent. How could someone like her even be so likeable to him? He didn't really understand it but he knew he hated it.
One day, the two were writing to each other per usual. Michael unintentionally added a pun in one of his comments, causing Y/N to giggle. Michael cocked his head to the side in confusion, strangely feeling heat rise his face and his heart speed up. It was air conditioned so he suspected he may have gotten sick.
Whenever the two had to go back to their cells, that feeling suddenly disappeared. Then it hit him. Oh fuck-
Hell, only a week later did Y/N feel herself experiencing the same symptoms. Michael notices that Y/N would shake and fidget a lot when they interacted, making him wonder of she was cold. As a friend, it was only right for him to sit next to her and hold her close to keep her warm, right? Y/N's face went red and damn that was embarrassing. But of course, that didn't mean Y/N wouldn't hug him back.
Eventually the two were basically cuddling. The two hugging each other warmly as Y/N rested her head on his chest, struggling to stay awake as they got more comfortable by the second.
But of course, Dr Loomis caught eye of that.
The doctor had been looking deep into al the interactions these two evil beings have had. They act so casual, so normal with each other, surely more than just drawing is happening between them, right?
The doctor had pulled them into his office separately to interrogate them. While Y/N bluntly answered his questions to make him just shut up as quickly as possible, she couldn't help but think to herself. She knows that she and Michael are mentally ill, but he should definitely be fixed by now. He's smart and creative and can casually talk to people, so it's like the only thing keeping him here is that the doctors are so ill-equipped that they can't make the necessary breakthrough to save him.
Of course, just a month later, another incident happened like this. Y/N was having a bad migraine so Michael got her to just sit down and wait for him during lunch. He brought over two trays of food for them and was sure to trade with Y/N so she can eat the things she likes and he could have the things she dislikes.
Another time, a bipolar guy ran into Michael and shoved him as if it was his fault. Michael shoved him back instinctively, causing a fight to disperse between the two. As security guards took notice, Y/N was quick to push Michael away softly and ball a fist to punch the fuck out of that guy- like a, "YO WHATCHU SAY ABOUT MY MAN?" type shit. Y/N did this to seem like she was hitting back and that Michael hadn't done anything wrong.
And when each other's birthday's rolled around, they had their own celebration. Y/N was given her own paper mache mask as a gift and a small cupcake from the cafe. Michael was given stolen art supplies that were taken from other guests and also a cupcake.
Y/N slowly stopped having panic attacks, but she definitely had her moments. Of course, Michael sat with her through it.
Dr Loomis recorded all this shit so he can gather data on Michael. Then the question hit him: How would Michael react if Y/N was gone for a few days? Does he truly care about her or is he just using her?
If you think Michael hated Loomis before, wait til he pieced together the disappearance of girlfriend and the extensive eyesight on him from security guards. For the hell he raised about it, he had to get sterilized and put into a cell without being able to get out for a few days.
Y/N remained bored in her cell for days. So what better could she do than annoy the guard watching her? She would just talk nonstop for what felt like hours and hours. The dude watching her was just getting more pissed off by the second.
"Would you shut up? Crazy bitch," he hissed, hitting the cell door. Y/N giggled cockily, shaking her head. Even if she deserved to be yelled at for continuing to talk, the Card of Death refused to back down. But when the guard went inside her cell and locked the door behind him, she got a bit worried.
Y/N got off her bed and threatened him cockily, to which he responded with physical force.
Of course, Smith's Groove is ill-equipped so even with proof of being hit and tazed, Y/N couldn't do anything to get the guard fired. But Michael?
A full month without seeing each other was like a slow suicide. But when they finally got to see each other again, the two was sure to write so much about their time alone as if they were teenage friends discussing their fun weekends. However, things turned dark whenever Y/N brought up the guard.
Michael didn't show any emotions at all, no matter what happens. But Y/N learned to guess how he's feeling depending on how long he takes to respond. Slowed blinking as if he was in thought, and slower reading as got analyze her writing closer were typically bad signs.
About a year had passed since they met at this time. A year to plan to escape. By now, the two were both 21 and fully prepared to leave once and for all.
Whenever that security guard had walked passed Michael's cell one night, Michael had knocked on the door to signal him. Michael slipped a paper through the doorslot, as he was given paper since he doesn't talk, saying he found a dead mouse in his cell. The guard just huffed and let himself inside. Michael pointed to where the mouse supposedly was; and that was a mistake for the guard.
Right as that guard went to look, Michael got behind and covered his mouth before stabbing him in the neck with a paint brush that's but carved into a small blade. Within moments, the guard dropped dead onto the floor.
Taking the keys from the guard, Michael was able to let out nearly every single prisoner to this hell out of their cells. Including Y/N.
The world sister was the only thing left of the pair as it was engraved into the door of Michael's cell. And just like that, the two were gone.
How they got there so fast doesn't matter but eventually Y/N and Michael found an abandoned house to station at until the search around the area disappeared and they could move around quicker.
"I can't fucking believe it," Y/N cheered as she felt tears run down her face from happiness. She swayed across the room, taking in the smell of dust and air. Even something dirty felt so new to her that couldn't help but love it at the moment.
Michael would watch her as he sat down in an old wooden chair, cocking his head. His body was in complete shock as the realization of all that's happened in the past years came crashing down on him. This was the real world? This is what dust smells like? This is what shattered glass and broken wood looks like? This is what trees look like up close? This is what things look like without glass tinting the color?
This is what it feels like to celebrate with someone you love? Michael reminded himself that the girl in front of him changed his life so much. His urge to harm all around him was always so strong, but the thought of her being hurt felt a bad taste in his mouth.
He stood up from the chair, walking towards the ecstatic girl as she cried happily to herself and picked up random things to remind herself of what they feel like and all she takes for granted. She turned her head to him, smiling, "Michael, look, I found a-"
Y/N gasped as Michael gripped his mask and slowly moved it. Y/N watched in awe as for the first time, she saw her only friend in this world's real face. That pale skin and soulless eyes that she grew familiar with became so new to her again.
"Michael..." she whispered, stepping closer to him. Her face heated up as she felt the weight his eyes staring down at her. She lightly bit her lip, a shiver going down her spine.
He took a few steps closer as well, making the two remain inches away from each other. Now at this point, Y/N is questioning if Michael is gonna kill her or is gonna kiss her as he awkwardly put his hand to her cheek, brushing her hair away. She leaned her head into his hand, keeping eye contact with him the whole time.
In just a matter of moments, the two came together in a soft kiss. The moment was quiet as the two did their best to remain calm and together as this moment that was little way's overdue continued.
When the two pulled away, Y/N was quick to wrap her arms around him. Now she wasn't going to cry about it, but damn was that contact she needed so badly. The Death Card and The Shape were basically Yin and Yang with how one is emotional and the other in emotionless but their need for pain and each other is what kept it healthy.
Just imagine how much suffering families went through since the two got out.
#michael myers x y/n#michael myers x you#michael myers x reader#michael myers#horror movies x reader#horror movies#slashers#slashers x y/n#slashers x you#slashers x reader#halloween#reader insert#x reader#killer reader#movie villains#aaaaaah#request#i love u#thanks for the request!
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5e Zeri, the Spark of Zaun build (League of Legends)
(Artwork by Alex “alexplank” Flores. Made for Riot Games.)
Holy shit I really like Zeri. But man are my teams always trash when I play her. Zeri has reminded me how much I hate ADC, the role that doesn’t get to play the game for the first 15 minutes of the match. And in soloqueue where your teammates DC in the first 5 minutes playing her has got me thinking about oh the misery. At least playing her top is fun. Ranged top bad btw.
Uhhhh what were we talking about again? Oh right D&D! Zeri has a backstory that almost feels tailor-made for D&D. I mean, a magic girl who fights against the unjust government to help her people? I’m sure you’ve already got some ideas what her build is! Dunno if my build will align with yours because I already know Doran's & Dragons built her differently than me. But there’s more than one way to build Zeri: AD or AP. It’s up to you!
GOALS
Quick feet, quick trigger - Stick a current through a proper wire and it can really pack a spark! We’ll need to be able to run and gun our foes down with a custom-made blaster!
Ayy, this is cool; lotsa places to run! - In terms of overtuned Season 11 champs dashing through walls isn’t that bad, I guess. No worse than Akshan’s 200 word passive.
I am lightning! - When caught in the eye of the storm we’ll need to be able to overcharge and go all out!
RACE
Zeri may be human but she has innate magic within her. That combined with the fact that Monsters of the Multiverse updated a bunch of races gives me a great reason to use the Air Genasi! For one Monsters of the Multiverse made Tasha’s Ability Score improvements standard, so increase your Intelligence by 2 and your Constitution by 1.
You still have Unending Breath to keep cool under pressure, but you also have 60 feet of Darkvision (which I only mention because it’s new), 35 of movement Speed (which I mention because it’s more than the baseline), Lightning Resistance (which felt very in-character for Zeri!), and most importantly you can charge up your passive thanks to Mingle with the Wind.
Your innate casting of Levitate is now relegated to 5th level but you instead get Shocking Grasp at level 1 and Feather Fall at level 3, for some more defense and safety! And the best part is you can now cast these spells with your mental stats, meaning you can make Intelligence your casting modifier instead of Constitution.
IF YOUR AREN’T USING MONSTERS OF THE MULTIVERSE RULES: Unfortunately the Air Genasi from EEPC really doesn’t offer much to make it worth picking over another race. You can take the Mark of Passage Human if you’re in Eberron, but realistically just take the Variant Human with the Sharpshooter feat with a +1 to both INT and CON still.
ABILITY SCORES
15; INTELLIGENCE - Zeri’s a smart kid, even if she’s a bit of a newbie with her powers. Yes Zeri would technically be a Sorcerer but we need Intelligence for a very particular class.
14; DEXTERITY - Repeat after me: something something medium armor, and even though a breastplate would channel electricity your race’s natural resistance means you could probably fashion a medium electricity-resistant jacket.
13; CONSTIUTION - Health is always nice and we don’t need other stats much. Feel free to invest in other stats if you want better stats but worse health though.
12; CHARISMA - I mean, I like Zeri. But again feel free to swap your lower three stats around as you wish.
10; WISDOM - Zeri’s inexperienced and lets her ambition get the better of her sometimes.
8; STRENGTH - Zeri is a child. Well, teenager. But still a child.
BACKGROUND
If there was ever an example of a Folk Hero in Runeterra (who isn’t Poppy or Braum) it would probably be Zeri. That’s why we’re replacing her background skills with Acrobatics and History, right? (Acrobatics to zip around the streets of Zaun, and History to remember her family’s teachings!) I’m giving Zeri History proficiency because she’s the Intelligence character, but feel free to take a skill proficiency that’s more appropriate for roleplay.
Honestly you can take whatever tools or languages you want because what I mainly wanted was the Rustic Hospitality background feature. This makes it easy for you to find friends in the streets of Zaun who’ll be willing to help you fight the Chem Barons! As long as they don’t have to stick their neck out of course, but you wouldn’t want anyone to feel like they have to fight for you.
(Artwork by @naiaru on Twitter.)
THE BUILD
LEVEL 1 - ARTIFICER 1
Starting off as Artificer because of course your family made your gun for you, and you keep it working yourself! But also for proficiency with Constitution saving throws, the Arcana and Investigation skills, and Smith’s Tools. Also Tinkerer’s Tools and Thieves’ Tools, which I don’t mention enough about Artificers!
As an Artificer you get Magical Tinkering, which is like Prestidigitation but only on small items and also kinda useless. You can do a bunch of small things like charge the item to glow with electricity, play a recorded sound, make sounds, or display a message. Try to find creative use for your lingering static charge, but really we’re here for the full-on Spellcasting.
You can learn two cantrips from the Artificer spell list: Guidance is also good when surrounded by friends, and I’m going to suggest you use your static discharge to zap your foes with Ray of Frost for now. (Don’t get too comfortable with it: we’ll swap it out later!) Also don’t forget that you get Shocking Grasp as an Air Genasi!
You can also prepare a number of spells equal to your Intelligence modifier plus half your Artificer level (rounded down): for now that means you can prepare Faerie Fire to highlight your foes with static, Detect Magic to... detect magic, and Cure Wounds for the Heal summoner spell. (Even if Barrier is kinda better for Zeri.)
LEVEL 2 - ARTIFICER 2
Second level Artificers get Infusions! These are magic items made by the good folk in Zaun that can help you give it your 110%. And guess we’re not taking: the Repeating Shot infusion! Put simply we’re going to be getting that for free, so make a Mind Sharpener, Enhanced Weapon, Goggles of Night, and... well the Bottle of Boundless Coffee is a downright overpowered item from Strixhaven that you can craft. (And for legal reasons this is a joke.) But I dunno make a Bag of Holding or Rope of Climbing: realistically you should keep the Mind Sharpener and Enhanced Weapon active, only turning on the Goggles of Night if you think you’ll need them.
Speaking of turning it on when you need it: Absorb Elements is great in a pinch if you get zapped by an element you don’t resist! Remember that Artificers are prepared casters, so you’re more-than-welcome to swap your spells around to what you think will be the most useful in the moment.
LEVEL 3 - ARTIFICER 3
Third level Artificers get a proper rifle to channel their spark thanks to the Armorer specialty! You can turn any suit of armor into Arcane Armor, allowing you to wear it regardless of your Strength and also use it to cast your Artificer spells. (And a few other cool features that I won’t elaborate on as they’re not important.)
You have two Armor Models to choose from and for a lightning gun choose the Infiltrator armor! You get a Lightning Launcher with a short range of 90 and a long range of 300; it does a d6 of Lightning damage but once per turn you can do an extra d6 to an enemy you hit. You also have Powered Steps for 5 extra feet of movement (which as an Air Genasi adds up to 40 feet total!), and a Dampening Field for advantage on Stealth! Practically for free! Sure if you’re wearing armor that causes Stealth Disadvantage that cancels it out, but you can use this trait with a Breastplate or something similar to keep sneaky while also being hard to hit!
You also get new Tools of the Trade. Seeing as we already have Smith’s Tools... Calligrapher’s Supplies? Regardless of what you choose you can use The Right Tool for the Job to make... the right tool for the job with an hour of work to make them appear right at your fingertips!
Finally you get both Magic Missile and Thunderwave added to your spell list as Armorer spells: you can flavor Magic Missile as your passive (without a slow), and if you want to do Lightning Crash’s damage look no further than Thunderwave! Speaking of spells you are allowed to swap cantrips when you level up, so replace Ray of Frost with Spare the Dying to help those in need. Oh and don’t forget you learn Feather Fall as an Air Genasi, in case you slip while skating on sump pipes!
LEVEL 4 - ARTIFICER 4
4th level Artificers get their first Ability Score Improvement, and with an uneven Intelligence that leaves you wide open for the Telepathic feat. Keep to team chat in your head while increasing your Intelligence by 1, as long as you’re within 60 feet of your friends and they know what you’re saying. You also get Detect Thoughts added to your spell list, and cast it once for free without using a spell slot.
Of course more Intelligence means more Artificer spells, but we’re going to wait for...
LEVEL 5 - ARTIFICER 5
5th level Armorer Artificers get Extra Attack, to attack twice! Mash that Q key as fast as you can! You also get Mirror Image and Shatter added to your spell list as Armorer spells, both of which fit Zeri very well to either dish out damage or keep yourself safe!
You can also prepare more spells like Aid (assuming no one else has that spell available), and Vortex Warp from Strixhaven! I’d personally flavor Vortex Warp as zipping your allies (or enemies!) around at the speed of an electrical current, but I understand that you may not think that makes sense for Zeri (or might not own Strixhaven.) I just think Vortex Warp is a really cool spell, but if you want something else feel free to prepare something else! Heat Metal is once of those spells that never “fits” despite being insanely strong.
(Artwork by @DanE_javik on Twitter.)
LEVEL 6 - WIZARD 1
Time to get your AP half with some Wizard levels! Should Zeri be a Sorcerer? Yeah probably but we were taking Intelligence anyways. Regardless Wizards get Arcane Recovery equal to half their Wizard level rounded down; I’m bad at explaining this ability so just read it yourself.
But what we’re really here for is Spellcasting! You get three cantrips: take the Wizard grab-bag of Prestidigitation, Mending, and Mage Hand. You also get 6 spells from the Wizard list: take Disguise Self for the cosmetics you don’t have, Distort Value to make some coin in Zaun, Identify to tell how much coin something is worth, Jim’s Magic Missile for some unstable magic (very fitting for Zeri!), Tenser’s Floating Disk if you find any scrap worth saving, and Shield. Because it’s Shield.
LEVEL 7 - WIZARD 2
Second level Wizards get to choose their Arcane Tradition and I’m going to stack some buffs from the Transmutation school. For now all you get is Minor Alchemy which lets you turn any wood, stone, iron, copper, or silver into another one of the listed materials for an hour, as long as you keep concentration. Sure this trait is a little weird but you’d be surprised how many interesting solutions come up by making a wall into wood so you can cut it down. And if all else fails you can turn some wood coins into silver and short-change some chem-barons!
Oh and you get two more spells: take Detect Magic and Comprehend Languages which are both nice rituals to have in your pocket at a Wizard. Don’t you need Transmutation spells? Well Transmutation Savant will make getting those spells cheaper. And don’t you already have Detect Magic as an Artificer spell? Well you can prepare something else instead.
LEVEL 8 - WIZARD 3
Third level Wizards learn 2nd level spells like Blindness / Deafness to play dirty with the dirt if you want the upper hand on your foes. You can also grab Misty Step. For Flash.
LEVEL 9 - WIZARD 4
4th level Artificers get another Ability Score Improvement and yeah: Intelligence kinda makes everything better so increasing it by 2 would be ideal.
You can also learn another cantrip: I’d recommend grabbing Mind Sliver to zap foes with high armor and low magic resistance to lower their MR even further. And to top if off you get two more 2nd level spells! Take Spider Climb to grind on some walls, and Rope Trick in case you need a bail out plan. But truthfully the reason for Wizard levels will make sense once we get...
LEVEL 10 - WIZARD 5
5th level Wizards get 3rd level spells and honestly I just want Haste and Lightning Bolt. Sure casting Haste on yourself is extremely inefficient because if you fail your saving throw you self-stun yourself, and all it grants you is a bit of AC and an extra attack with your dinky d6 + 5 Lightning Gun. But it’s the best representation of Zeri’s ult (minus the AoE damage) and the best way to be faithful to Zeri letting it all out before tiring herself out.
(Artwork by Jeremy Anninos. Made for Riot Games.)
LEVEL 11 - ARTIFICER 6
Quickly hopping back to the 6th level of Artificer for two key Infusions:
Radiant Weapon - Literally a direct upgrade from the Enhanced Weapon if you have the Attunement slots, although I wouldn’t recommend holding onto it forever. Along with a +1 you can use it as a flashlight (rub your feet on the ground to light up your gun!) and in a pinch you can even blind someone trying to hit you! Just be sure to evaluate if the blind is worth it over the Shield spell.
Spell-Refueling Ring - IE a Pearl of Power hold the pearl, because more spell slots for more Lightning Bolts and Haste is great value now that you actually have third level slots.
Feel free to replace some of your older infusions with options like the Boots of the Winding Path, Boots of Elvenkind / Cloak of Elvenkind (this should go to a friend, not yourself; you already have Stealth advantage!), Lantern of Revealing, Repulsion Shield, Resistant Armor... Hell, even the Cloak of the Manta Ray or Gloves of Thievery are nice in a pinch.
You also get Tool Expertise. For expertise with tools.
LEVEL 12 - WIZARD 6
Back over to Wizard: level 6 Transmutation Wizards can turn their natural magic into some buffs, as long as they have their Transmuter’s Stone! While you got the rock in your pocket you can get 60 foot darkvision (which you already have, but your DM might allow to apply on top of your darkvision?), a 10 foot movement speed increase, proficiency in Constitution saving throws (which you already have), or resistance to one of acid, cold, fire, lightning, or thunder damage.
Two of these you already have but 10 feet of movement on top of the 10 from your race + armor equals 50 feet of movement total, which is pretty freaking fast! And damage resistance is always useful in a pinch, especially since you can swap the stone’s effect by casting a Transmutation spell! If all else fails and you have no use for your cool rock you can also pass it to a friend; I’m sure someone will appreciate the Constitution save proficiency!
Oh and you can grab two more spells: Thunder Step is a bad spell but it fits Zeri well, and Melf's Minute Meteors is a weird spell that fits Zeri quite well! Sure it takes your Concentration for a couple of Bonus Action attacks, but it does more damage than a Fireball overall and you can split the damage up! But I mean, feel free to take something like Blink or Fly instead I guess.
LEVEL 13 - WIZARD 7
7th level Wizards get 4th level spells and if you want to dash through a wall then Dimension Door is probably your best bet. Other than that there’s a lot of great spells at 4th level, but I’m going to suggest good ol’ Storm Sphere to keep to that lightning motif and zap the power straight out of everything!
LEVEL 14 - WIZARD 8
Finally with 8th level in Wizard you can get one last Ability Score Improvement: now that your Intelligence is capped off I’d suggest the Sharpshooter feat to make your shots more accurate and more deadly!
If you went for Variant Human and already have the Sharpshooter feat Magic Initiate (Wizard) can be a decent choice. Get Shocking Grasp from there along with another cantrip you think is fun, and something like Feather Fall as your 1st level spell in case of an emergency. Yes I am basically saying “if you weren’t a Genasi take the Genasi spells from Magic Initiate.”
And finally you can grab your last two 4th level Wizard spells: after this you’ll have to either spend cash to get magic or bust! Again there’s a lot of great choices at 4th level but I personally chose Elemental Bane (in case your opponent can resist your Lightning blaster!) and Greater Invisibility, which perhaps isn’t something Zeri can do in-game but it makes some sense and is very strong.
(Artwork by @art_kageyuki on Twitter.)
LEVEL 15 - ARTIFICER 7
7th level Artificers get Flash of Genius, allowing them to use their magic to help those around them... or themselves. If an ally (or you!) need help with an ability check or saving throw you can use your reaction to give them +5 to the roll, since your Intelligence is at a 20 and all. This does only have a range of 30 feet though, and you can only use it 10 times (double your INT modifier.) And remember that it is taking your reaction that you could be using for Shield or Absorb Elements (or Feather Fall, I guess?)
Speaking of spells I’ve kinda been ignoring the Artificer spell list huhn? You got some Intelligence increases (and some spells that you should probably replace) so I’d suggest grabbing Kinetic Jaunt (it’s from Strixhaven if you don’t have it) to zip around the battlefield, Enhance Ability to... enhance the abilities of yourself or an ally, and Heat Metal. Because if Avatar The Last Airbender taught me anything, it’s that Lightning is secretly just really good Fire.
LEVEL 16 - ARTIFICER 8
8th level Artificers get another Ability Score Improvement and by this point there isn’t much that we particularly need. So I’m going to be boring and take the Fighting Initiate feat and take the Archery fighting style, because put bluntly a 10% higher chance to hit is pretty huge numbers-wise.
You can also prepare another spell but I’d suggest waiting for...
LEVEL 17 - ARTIFICER 9
9th level Artificers can (finally!) prepare 3rd level spells like Hypnotic Pattern and... Lightning Bolt? Hey didn’t we already have this one? Ah well you can prepare your other Wizard spells instead: did you really want to wait until total level 17 for big electric zaps? Anyways I’m going to cop out and suggest you take Revivify, mostly because there isn’t much for Artificers at 3rd level that we need. Carry some diamonds in your pocket and use your electricity to jumpstart their heart!
But most importantly Armorer Artificers get Armor Modifications! Along with turning your one suit of armor into 4 separate items that can be infused (armor (the chest piece), boots, helmet, and the armor’s special weapon (I think most DMs would’ve let you infuse that even without hitting level 9)) you can now have two extra infusions! They have to be on your armor but I’m sure if you use that armor to help people no one will mind. You know your infusions so pick whichever ones you think will help you the best. I mean, it’s not like we’re going to get the ability to fly or anything crazy like that.
(Artwork by @MiushuStudios on Twitter.)
LEVEL 18 - ARTIFICER 10
10th level Artificers get new Infusions that allow them to fly and crazy things like that. The Winged Boots may not fit Zeri but are you really going to pass up flight? Other than that the Helm of Awareness is very good, and something only you can make. The Alert feat on a stick is good for just about anyone.
I’d also suggest replacing the Radiant Weapon with your plain old Enhanced Weapon by this point, as it’s now a +2 weapon. +15 to hit is nice enough and freeing up an attunement slot is good too! I’m going to suggest replacing it with the good ol’ Cloak of Protection; you should probably give the cloak to a friend who’ll be taking hits since the +1 to both their AC and saves will add up! But if you don’t want those infusions for whatever reason there are other good choices too:
Eyes of the Eagle (probably not for you but a friend can make good use out of that increased vision!)
Gauntlets of Ogre Power (your Strength is at an 8 so this is an effective +5 to your Strength modifier!)
Headband of Intellect (maybe for a friend?)
Periapt of Wound Closure (for your more reckless friend; maybe that reckless friend is you?)
Again Artificer is great because you can pick and choose infusions that will help your party. After all your attunement slots aren’t infinite... but Magic Item Adept does give you another attunement slot, as well as the ability to craft Common and Uncommon magic items easily.
Oh yeah and to top if off you can prepare another spell, and (finally!) learn another Artificer cantrip! For your leveled spell Blink may require you to get lucky but it’s good to evade some hits. And for your cantrip I dunno; you don’t have a Light source anymore?
LEVEL 19 - ARTIFICER 11
11th level Artificers can keep their mana in check by simply putting their spells in a Spell-Storing Item. You can stick a 1st or 2nd level Artificer spell into a stick to allow your friends (or yourself) to cast it a number of times equal to twice your Intelligence modifier. Now I know it can be hard to resist sticking 10 Shatters into it but consider your options: you have a couple of great spells that are amazing to give to your friends or to just have in your back pocket without spending spell slots:
Blur - Even at this level not all enemies have magic vision, so this can be a great buff to your Fighter’s AC!
Enhance Ability - A good buff that’s made better by allowing a non-caster to cast it on the party!
Heat Metal - This spell is dumb and kinda objectively overpowered ngl. Give it to someone who doesn’t have a good use for their Bonus Action; 2d8 Fire damage isn’t much but disadvantage on all attacks is!
Invisibility - Really doubt I need to explain why “become invisible” is good.
Kinetic Jaunt - One of the new ones from Strixhaven. This is great if you have someone in the party like a Rogue who gets value out of going zoomies!
Lesser Restoration - In case of emergency please break glass.
Levitate - Sure you can do it, but your friends can’t. It can work as a pseudo-disable or pseudo-flight!
Mirror Image - The main one from your subclass. Good on just about everyone. Give your friends the chance to take 3 hits without taking damage.
See Invisibility - Useful in a pinch on the party.
Vortex Warp - Another amazing utility. Being able to reposition an ally really opens up teamwork in this team game. I recommend this video for some ideas why Vortex Warp is useful.
But this isn’t a Spell Storing Item guide. Don’t let me stop you from sticking 10 charges of Shatter into a stick and going ham with it. I’m just saying you do have better options.
LEVEL 20 - ARTIFICER 12
Our final level is the 12th level of Artificer for one last Ability Score Improvement. Again I don’t have any particular feats I want so I’m just going to cop out and suggest good ol’ Alert to keep aware on the streets.
Honestly if you want going for 9 levels in Wizard might’ve been worth it for 5th level spells, and 10 levels would’ve gotten you the purest form of a “free” Polymorph. Hell, even 2 levels in Fighter would get you Second Wind, Action Surge, and another Fighting Style. (I’d personally go for Defense if you already have Archery from your feat. Alternatively you could just take Archery from Fighter and grab Alert with your level 16 Feat!)
But I chose to stick to Artificer as it felt the most accurate overall. And because you can prepare one more spell, such as the “in case of emergency please break glass” spell of Lesser Restoration.
FINAL BUILD
PROS
Run fast, charge up, shoot the bad guys - You’ve got plenty of ways to keep away from the baddies, be it blinking out of the way, running along walls, or zooming straight through them!
Come on Zeri; fight to win - Your spell slots go far above the average Artificer, maxing out at 7th level. Sure you only get third level spells but a lot of them are quite strong when upcast: Aid, Lightning Bolt, Shatter, Heat Metal; all of these spells still pack a punch when cast with something big. And Arcane Recovery gives you even more magic to spare!
Gun could use a little tinkering - Regardless of situation Infusions can help you and your party in a lot of ways. Use your infusions smartly and pass your Philosopher’s Stone around too to give back to the people of Zaun!
CONS
If I can just... get this to work...! - You don’t have the insane damage output of other ADCs I’ve built. Sharpshooter helps out yes but you don’t have any good damage-increasing spells nor abilities like Sneak Attack to max out your DPS late game.
Come on; charge already! - The point of an ADC (or rather a “martial” character) is to provide constant DPS without question, and unfortunately your spark can run out with extended use. You have a lot of Long Rest resources that can ware out quickly.
Ugh, might've rushed that one - This build kinda falls off a cliff in the late game where your spells outrun your infusions. Sure two extra infusions for your Armor is nice and all but if your DM gives you a couple of magic items it really won’t matter. This build is best around Tier 2 when your Wizard spells give you the nimbleness to survive with your Artificer damage output.
But you only need to start the movement: your can move even the biggest machines with the smallest spark. Zip around your foes and pepper them with bullets to inspire your fellow Zaunites to blast them alongside you! As long as you know when you contain your spark you’ll be able to change the world for the better. As long as you make sure not to go berserk!
(Artwork by @JayalSantos on Twitter.)
#dnd#dnd 5e#dnd build#dnd guide#League of Legends#zeri#League of Legends Zeri#lightning#gun#dnd artificer#neon valorant
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what are ur thoughts on edmund pevensie
aah I'm so glad someone asked!! thank uuu <3
My thoughts on Edmund Pevensie? Mr. redemption arc boy? My sassy bean? Sulky little shit boy? Oh my god where do I start.
(putting under the cut because this gets unnecessarily long and my mutuals are tired of me)
Edmund Pevensie is a horrible little gremlin who turns into a delightful little gremlin over the course of one book/movie and ends up being one of the best characters in the series. I don't know whether to rant about book!Edmund or Movie!Edmund, but I supposed I could do both?
So pre-redemption, Edmund is a generally awful person. I really like that. Whenever we get a redemption arc in modern media, it's usually 70% defending why Character A is actually a sad emo child who was neglected and actually you know what? It's everyone else's fault that this person does shitty things (i.e. k*lo ren, vanya hargreeves, mcu wanda, etc).
Edmund is a truly hateful person and canon DOES NOT APOLOGIZE OR VALIDATE IT. Even in the movies (where they make him more sympathetic by drawing attention to the fact that Edmund is a child being manipulated by an abuser) they recognize the fact that he was a nasty person before the White Witch ever came into play.
I LOVE that. I love a redemption arc. And the only way a redemption arc really, truly works is when the character being redeemed is a Bad Person. It makes it so, so much more satisfying when the character finally comes to their senses and Does The Thing that starts/completes their arc.
AND EDMUND'S IS TOP TIER. In the books, it's a bit less explicit, but by the time he finally reaches Aslan's camp and talks to Aslan, he's pretty much made a full 180. He is immediately forgiven by his siblings and the Narnians and when the White Witch turns up, he is unafraid. He has full confidence that Aslan knows what he's doing. In the Battle of Beruna, he's the only person smart enough to realize that going after the White Witch's wand is the best tactical move. There is no clear "heroes redeemed journey" (as i'm calling it). Edmund realizes that he was wrong, accepts Aslan, and helps defeat the White Witch.
The movie makes Edmund work a bit more. He's forgiven by his sisters', but not quite by his brother. It's vague whether or not the rest of Narnia has forgiven him. When the White Witch arrives, he shows visible fear. It's only after he breaks the White Witch's wand and dies/nearly dies doing so, that he's allowed to be fully redeemed and forgiven by his brother.
I have conflicting feelings about how both of these narratives are different and the indicators thereof of said differences, but that's a whole other meta post I don't have room for. What I can definitely say I do love about Movie!Edmund's redemption arc is how they conclude it. In the book, you don't actually see the moment where Edmund breaks the White Witch's wand and it's more inferred than directly stated that she's the one who wounded him. He also doesn't come as close to actual death in the books.
In the movie everything is absolutely fucking perfect. They start out the battle with Edmund looking unsure of anything except Peter and they end it with Edmund dying (?) in front of him. The moment where Edmund decides to defy Peter one last time and break the wand? 14 year old me was losing her SHIT. They literally could not have concluded his arc better. 10/10 Disney.
Prince Caspian--books and films--gives us a clearer picture of who Edmund is after his redemption arc. He's still kind of snarky, but 100% a ride or die for his siblings. He believes Lucy when she says she sees Aslan, supports Peter and Caspian in their quest to get Caspian on the throne, and is the most level-headed character in the book. He is also incredibly sulky in the books and 1000% done with Trumpkin's shit. It's delightful. They translate this in movieverse for him being 1000% done with Peter's shit which is even better. He does not really have an arc or plotline, but as a supportive character he's a 10/10.
The Voyage of the Dawn Treader has my favorite Edmund. This is an Edmund without his older siblings. This is an Edmund who gets to bond with Lucy, Caspian, and Eustace and have wacky sea adventures. The Lucy/Edmund dynamic is STRONG and I am living for it. Both of them banding together to hate Eustace for half the book? 11/10. Both of them banding together to love Eustace for the other half of the book? 14/10.
Also, this is the book where we find out Edmund reads detective novels. Which is adorable and so in character for him.
Oh my god let's talk about Eustace and Edmund. After Eustace tells Edmund about what happened with him and Aslan and apologizes for being a dick? Edmund is immediately there to reassure him that all is forgiven, and actually? Edmund was a worse person his first visit to Narnia. (Pls get some self esteem Edmund.) Let's talk about Eustace and Edmund being protective over Lucy (who doesn't really appreciate it, but it's adorable just the same).
Movie!Edmund in this story is also a snarky delight, but the main thing that jumps out to me is HE AND CASPIAN ARE SO GAY FOR EACH OTHER HOLY SHIT. LIKE THEY TRIED TO PUSH LUCY/CASPIAN FOR A HOT SECOND AND THEN GAVE UP BECAUSE CASSMUND IS LIVING THEIR BEST GAY PIRATE LIFE.
Oh we should probably talk about Edmund in the Horse and His Boy. Yeah, this one is a real delight because we actually get to see grown up Edmund. There are so really awesome moments here, especially with him and Susan. My favorite is where he basically tells her, "yeah if you married that dick prince I would have totally hated you for it. thanks for making a good choice on that." Lmao. It's really interesting to see him more measured and mature in this book.
So anyway, to cut this rambling reply short. Edmund Pevensie has been my favorite character since I was 11 and first read the Narnia books and he continues to be in each adaption of the series. Can't wait for the Netflix adaption.
(ask me about book vs. movie meta, cassmund analysis, the problem of susan, or anything else narnia related for more ramblings <3)
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birthday surprise
so, koganegawa’s birthday is today, July 9th, and um.. where’s the love for my boy kogane? i felt like this was the perfect time to give him some love 🥰 ❤️ ❤️ (and to quench my thirst) this is the first time i’m ever writing a fic or even smut in general so please be nice :,) just gonna casually tag @bokutokoutarou since you wanted to be there when i post my first ever fic so here i go. 🚶♀️
dom!koganegawa x reader????? woahh
s m u t
words: 3063
Drool was slowly pooling from your mouth as you just woke up, the sun beaming straight into your eyes, causing your eyelashes to flutter and flip your body to face away from the sunlight. Before you could close your eyes again, you reached out for your phone on your pillow and went to check the time, which is a routine you developed without noticing.
1:53, you noted. But, you immediately stood up and wiped the drool from the corners of your mouth to realize that it was July 9th. Shit. You cursed at yourself in your head while frantically throwing on whatever you saw.
Black shorts and a baggy t-shirt representing your school, Date Tech. You went to the bathroom to see what you overall really looked like taking into consideration that your hair must have been a bird’s nest from moving a lot in your sleep.
“Huh.”
You didn’t think the shirt you chose to wear would cover your shorts, but you shrugged it off. Hopefully some idiot doesn’t think that you’re not wearing anything under it. Thankfully, your hair wasn’t all that much of a mess- i mean, it was still a bit frizzy and in a loose ponytail, but who really cares? Definitely not you.
You threw on some white crew socks with some black shoes you saw under your bed. While you struggled a bit to put your shoes on, you heard something coming from your bed. It was your phone vibrating.
“I swear to god, if it’s some annoying son of a bitch-“ you stood up and tripped since you were trying to put on your other shoe standing up while your foot’s in the air. As you peered over your phone, you saw that it was a notification from Koganegawa and you sighed in relief.
When you had your shoe on you grabbed your phone and went to go and read what he messaged you.
“Hey, Y/N! I know that you might still be asleep, but i wanted to let you know that i’m having a birthday party which starts at around 4, and that you’re invited! I can’t wait to see you there. Even though it’ll be a small little party, i think you’ll REALLY enjoy it. Aone, Kaname, Futakuchi, and Sakunami will be there. I hope to see you there soon!” sent at 11:27 AM
As you read 11:27 AM your expression was covered in horror, but.. It could’ve been worse. For example, maybe it was sent at 9am and here you are just sitting on your ass, waking up at basically 2PM. You smiled a bit thinking of the scenario in your head, visualizing what you would act like if they actually happened. You quickly stopped yourself, though. something was a bit off in this text. You reread it at least 5 times to finally recognize what’s wrong with it.
“uh kogane, you didn’t even give me the location” sent 2:07 PM
Sadly, you weren’t really the patient type and when 10 minutes had passed you started to get a bit antsy. Your leg was basically vibrating based off of how fast your foot was lighting tapping against the ground.
Fuck it.
—————————
You were now furiously knocking on the door- at this point you don’t know if it was either knocking or punching it with the side of your fist. Like the idiot you were, you didn’t even try to use the door knob. When you were tired out from yelling and knocking on the door, that was the time when you decided to use it.
And, it worked.
“Kogane! I’m coming in..” you slowly dragged out the n’s in the word “in” as if you were screaming “ready or not, here I come!” in a classic game of hide and seek.
When you walked in, you could see streamers and balloons around the house, the little “Happy Birthday!” sign greeting you. Food was spread out in the kitchen, the dining room table was all set up with a birthday table cover and everything. You could clearly see the effort he put in based off of the mess he made in the living room. You could see the plastic bags the decorations must have came in when he bought them scattered around the living room. His house looked like a little kids birthday party, but in a good way. He really did go all out. The poor guy did this all by himself. You frowned at the thought, and then suddenly had a sly smirk on your face.
You quickly took your shoes off and began to quietly walk around the house, wanting to surprise him and give him a big old innocent birthday hug. Now that the thought crossed your mind, you totally forgot to get him a birthday present while on the way here, but you didn’t know the party would be at his house- that could be your excuse. You nodded to yourself, agreeing with the thought.
His home was oddly quiet, but you continued to walk around the house. Eventually, you came upon a door that was slightly opened and you peeked your head inside without hesitation.
Koganegawa was slowly stroking his long, veiny cock with his right hand, his hips thrusting up into his fist every now and then. Some strands of his hair were stuck to the sides of his head due to the sweat that was forming on his body. The little groans he let out was causing your thighs to clench together, trying your hardest to not picture what he would look like between your legs. This dirty thought of yours caused you to let out a small moan, quickly slapping your hand against your mouth, hoping he didn’t hear. You slowly sat yourself on the ground, trying to even out your breaths since it was such a close call, but you were cut off when the door right beside you swung open. You screamed in surprise and fell on your back. You could clearly see Kogane’s unattended, throbbing cock against his boxers. Goddamn was it bigger up close.
“Uh.. Happy birthday?” you awkwardly announced, trying to break the cold, uncomfortable silence, waving both of your hands in a celebratory, jazz hands motion.
He grabbed your wrist, helping you off the ground and led you to his bed. He stood in front of you, hands on his hips staring at you, obviously expecting an answer.
Instead of giving him an answer right away, you took this as a chance to admire the sight in front of you. His toned body was enough to make you drool, his abs glossed in sweat and goddamn.. his fucking thighs. They were pretty nice, not gonna lie, you smirked to yourself. Honestly, you wouldn’t mind if he just stood there all day. He should be put in a museum. Your eyes slowly went to his-
“Y/N! I’m still here! What were you doing outside of my door??” he yelled, hands out in front of him, expressing his question more through his movement.
“Listen, I- You.. You didn’t answer my goddamn text!” you replied, your eyes darting to the other side of the room, trying your best to not make eye contact with him. “So i.. came to your house, and when you didn’t answer the door i just.. Walked right on in.” you were putting your best efforts to lighten the mood but it wasn’t exactly working as you hoped it would.
“Then you decided to watch me jack off my dick behind my door, too, right?”
“What else would i have been doing? fucking idiot..” your voice trailed off at the last part, not wanting him to hear.
“Would you like to repeat what you said, Y/N?” he teasingly asked, cocking one of his eyebrows up.
“Uh no, fuck off, yeah?” you attacked right back. You leaned forward, your elbow resting against your knee as your head rested in the palm of your hand. You stuck your tongue out at him like a child, waiting to see his reaction.
He hummed in response, looking down at you with his arms crossed. “Y/N, are you even wearing anything under that?” You almost choked as you held in your laugh. I guess he was the idiot.
“Yeah, I am. Do you think i’m stupid or something? I would never leave the house with no pants on. Bold of you to assume that.” his eyebrow was still in the same position as if he didn’t believe you. You stood up from the bed.
“Kogane, look” he tilted his head at you and you lifted your shirt up. He immediately looked away and you had to repeat yourself. “No, look at me, idiot! I’m wearing shorts, see?” he slowly turned his head towards you and he looked puzzled. This man is as stupid as an elementary schooler, you don’t know how he’s still alive by now.
“So i’m guessing you have a birthday present for me?” he joked, but your mind clicked. It wasn’t your birthday hug idea, but something else.
“Actually, yes, I do. Can you sit on the bed for me real quick?” he quickly sat on the bed, oblivious to what he’s getting himself into.
You slowly got onto the bed and sat around him, your arms wrapping around his waist, your hands inching their way to his boxers.
“What are you-“
“You already know what i’m doing, it’s your birthday so just let it happen, okay?” he nodded with a gulp, and you continued your ministrations.
Your left hand slowly lowered the boxers off of his legs, causing his dick to spring up against his stomach. He groaned at the feeling, which made you eager to continue even further. You didn’t expect for his dick to be so long. It was average girth but holy shit was it lengthy. Your right hand began to stroke his cock, slowly at first, immediately teasing the tip with your thumb, wiping the precum off and onto his shaft. Feeling him shiver against your body made your cheeks flush and had your right hand slightly shaking in excitement. He noticed this and took action by wrapping his large, rough hands against yours, guiding your hand up and down at a quicker pace than you had before. His moans were becoming more apparent and louder, signaling that he’s close to his release. Kogane’s hands never left yours as his grip tightened, going even faster. Feeling how eager he is to cum and just by watching him help you jack him off is making you even wetter than you were before.
“God, Kogane you’re so goddamn cute..Feeling your hand against mine while you guide me to fuck your cock with my hand is so fucking hot..” you felt his cock twitch at your words and you smirked through your bright red cheeks, lowering your head against his dick and filling your mouth with his long cock. Kogane threw his head back in pleasure while pushing your head down against him, his cum filling your mouth, making you choke. You remain still, though, allowing him to wait out his release.
He lifted your head up off of him and when he looked at you with his cum dripping down the sides of your mouth, he immediately became hard again.
“Didn’t know you were that eag-“ you were cut off when Kogane grabbed you by the hips and threw you right under him. The way he towered over you made you want to cower under a blanket and hide, but at the same time it just turned you on even more. It was almost like a prey being hunted by predator scenario.
“Kogane what are you-“ the smirk on his face was like one you’ve never seen before.
“Oh, how the tables have turned.” the sly little dumb smirk he still had plastered on his face made you want to flick him upside the head, but realistically you couldn’t since you were vulnerable as all hell under him.
He didn’t hesitate whatsoever to pull your shirt off of you. Already, your shorts were gone and the same with your bra. You were lost- it was like a switch was flipped with him. You didn’t know he had a side like this to him.
Kogane went up to your neck and purposefully breathed against your neck causing you to jump. He soon started to leave small, gentle bites on the same spot, letting him leave a long lick against it, hurriedly wanting to whisper against your ear something god knows what where he got it from.
“I’m going to fuck you senseless until you learn who’s the boss around here, okay sweetheart?” chills were sent down your spine, your heart thumping in your chest, positive that he could hear it. Your cheeks were the brightest shade of red to the point it looks like a child got into their mom’s makeup. But, you didn't know if he watched some really hardcore porn or what, but did not know at al that he had that in him.
His two, long fingers were suddenly teasing your entrance, causing you to let out a small moan, but you acted quickly as you covered your mouth with your hand, not willing to give in to him. Not pleased with your actions, his fingers delved inside if you, pushing in and out of you at a rather quick pace, making sure to curl his fingers in all of the right spots.
“Can you not hide your moans from me? Pretty Please?” he gave you those puppy dog eyes that you always hated. You shook your head. He shrugged in response and positioned himself against you, your eyes widening in shock. Before you could stop him, question him, or anything, he was already buried inside of you, letting out a loud grunt.
“I’m going to fuck you really hard, Y/N. I know you like that. You like it when guys fuck you until you can’t walk, right?” he emphasized the last word by slamming his cock deep inside of you, straight towards your g-spot. You basically screamed by the intense feeling, and he only just started.
“Finally opening up to me, pretty girl?” he pushed your legs up by your head and began to drill his cock into you nonstop. His tight grip on your hips was bound to leave a mark afterwards. The sound of his hips slapping against yours could’ve been enough to make you cum alone.
He pulled out of you and you glared at him.
“Don’t worry, don’t worry.. Come here.” he motioned his hands for you to come towards him. He led you towards the wall.
“Jump” you obliged and he pinned you against the wall, making sure to not waste time by quickly inserting his pulsing cock inside of you.
“Fuck!” he looked at you, giving you a quick peck on the lips before he started to move inside of you. His thrusts began extremely slow, obviously teasing you.
“You know what I want.” Kogane’s thrusts became even slower before they came to a stop.
“No, I don’t, i can’t read min-“ your snark remark was cut off as you were given a hard, rough slap on the ass. You looked at him, and he nodded as a signal to go on. You sighed.
“Fuck me.” You sarcastically said in a dull tone, making him annoyed on purpose.
“Come on.. you know you want to. Quit lying about it, Y/N!” he began to rub your clit with one of his fingers as he waited.
“I want you to fuck me till your hearts content. I want you to fuck my pussy until i beg you to stop so i want you to quit messing around and get on with it already!” a small whine was released at the end of your words, but Koganegawa seemed satisfied.
“Whatever you want..” He grinned, He pushed himself further against you, making sure you were well propped up against the wall, and began to thrust at a rapid pace, causing you to grab onto his shoulders to give you more support.
“God fucking dammit you’re so tight..” your walls were clenching around him like a vice. His cock filled you up so well, but the fact that his dick was brushing against your cervix was throwing you off the edge. It was impossible to think that someone could fill you up so good, and so perfectly.
“Fuck, fuck! Please don’t stop, Kanji! Right there, right there!” his cheeks flushed at hearing his first name slip past your lips. The pace that he is holding at the moment, you could basically say he was using you like a sex doll. He was like an animal in heat, he showed no signs of stopping whatsoever, and it didn’t help that you used his first name.
“Say it again, please.” he whines against your ear, his hot breaths driving you to the edge even more
“Kanji!” you moaned, practically chanting his name. He loved the way you said his name. The way his cock thrusted in and out of you at such a quick pace while your cum was coated around it, was the second hottest thing next to Kogane. The way he moaned, the skin slapping against skin was too much.
“I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna cum!” you screamed, but to your surprise Kogane kept on thrusting in and out of you, chasing his own release. You knew he wasn’t going to stop until he came.
“Kanji, please cum, I’m begging you Kanji! You fill me up so good, I love the way you fill me up is so perfect just like you baby-“ and that was it, that’s all that took.
“FUCK! Y/N I love you I love you!” he came inside of you, slowly moving his hips inside of you to ride out the overwhelming feel of pleasure. Your tongue was lolling out of your mouth at the overstimulation, and Kogane let out a small chuckle before carefully carrying you to his bed.
“Where the hell did you learn all of that from, Kanji?” you said through heavy breaths.
Futakuchi leaned on the door.
“From me.” he pointed at himself with a proud smile before walking off.
#haikyuu smut#koganegawa kanji#koganegawa#kanji koganegawa#i kind of gave up but lets not talk about that#im high on 15 hours of sleep yeah yeah#i didnt feel like proofreading so bare with me#i write like a toddler. geez. i need a thesaurus for my birthday
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Headcanons: Argit’s Family Edition (may include old info because I don’t care)-
His mother is the piece of shit with a criminal record that goes from child abuse to grand larceny to murder to active involvement in the slave trade
Father is an accomplice
They did seem fond of each other, or at least his pa was very fond of his ma and his ma gave more shits about his pa than the children- not that that’s a high fucking bar, you could limbo with that thing
Really nobody is sure why they had children given they clearly didn’t want them and Erinaens are masters of not raising children they don’t want
Pa is a standard Erinaen
Ma is a born necromancer- though she only really uses magic to keep herself in shape, occasionally for murder or profit, sometimes to fix up Pa if she’s in the right mood- and far older than it seems
There are Reasons the born necromancer children don’t actually use magic and they are all trauma
Argit has 17 siblings (that he’s aware of)- 6 older, 5 younger, and 6 littermates, with about five years between litters
Eldest litter was born outside the Null Void, but were still tiny and in the pouch when their parents got tossed in
Second two litters were born in the Null Void
Eldest litter took care of their younger sibs for so long- first Argit’s litter and then not-quite-abandoning them to look after the youngest litter
Entire mess was a bomb looking for a place to go off, really, with a lot of stress on kids too damn young for it, not enough food to go around, constant competition and in-fighting that their parents only got involved with when it affected them
Argit was bottom of the pecking order among his siblings, though he did seem to be his ma’s favorite for all that that helped literally nothing. Certainly didn’t get him any better treatment (what was worse, the siblings who resented his getting any sort’ve approval? the ones who were wary of him over it? or that he resented her to no end and would’ve rather gnawn off an arm than make her proud?)
Mostly it was because out of his siblings he’s the one most like her, for all he has much higher and firmer morals (yeah, let that sink in for a minute)
Most of the eldest litter sheered off from the family when Argit when 11, which hurt the group more than it helped- fewer mouths to feed but also fewer people to help keep everyone fed and looked after
Argit last saw the majority of his family at about 12, when he lagged behind while they were traveling between hidey-holes and they just fucking let him (on the one hand- as a runt and mutant he took up a lot of food and slowed them down, on the other- they fucking abandoned their child and sibling alone in the Null Void holy shit y’all)
Fun Fact: Part of why Kevin and Argit ended up meshing so well is because they both have Issues, a good chunk of Argit’s specifically relating to trust and reliance on other people. The fact he’s in as good a place regarding Kevin as he is is a miracle (grow Argit, break the cycle, I believe in you!)
The next he saw of any of his kin was outside the Null Void, at 15, when he and Kevin ran into his ma and two of the youngest litter
To make a long story short- his ma saw profit potential in Kevin, tried to get her favorite involved, and Argit- who at this point had already killed three people for Kevin, two of which were slavers- managed to turn that shit around and sell her off instead
Given they were 15 and 14 respectively and very much not in a position to be taking care of a pair of 10-yos, the boys lived off those profits while they found a good, safe place to leave the kittens, where they’d be taken care of (neither of them really trusted it, but they live a dangerous life and could at least agree they didn’t want the kittens getting hurt)
Argit’s still in touch with them, though they aren’t particularly close, and to the shock of 80% of people who know him if there was any indication either was in trouble he and Kev would be out there with a quickness
They refuse to talk about what happened to the rest of the family, and Argit’s only ever been able to find records of three of the eldest litter, so as of the end of OV he has no clue what the status is on most of them. He tries not to think about it.
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Shyan Fan fic Recommendation
Anon I want to kiss you right now. I have been waiting for this question for years
Batch 1
*All | orphan_account
Ryan's got an itch only Shane can scratch.
*"Come over here and make me." | aldhafera
“Shane, stop that this instant!” “Come over here and make me.” In which Ryan fears something followed them home and Shane just wants to give the (definitely non-existent) ghosts a show.
Por Favor, Sweetheart | carrieonfighting
Two dorks raise a baby and don't even realise they're doing it together until it's too late Alternatively, Ryan Bergara is Trying His Best Thanks
(This one’s so domestic I think I melted)
the choices we make | exul
Shane and Ryan find themselves in a world where much is the same, yet everything is different. An apartment that's theirs, but not theirs. Photos of them that were never taken. And most importantly a child, who's somehow theirs, yet they've never seen her before. or Shane and Ryan wake up in a world where they're married and have a baby.
and then there were two (idiots) | sessrumnir
Shane kisses Ryan by accident one day. A week later they are still trying to process what happened.
*Body Farming | shiphitsthefan
Failed suppressants and a surprise heat: the worst of cliches, and here Ryan stands, living the trope on location with the alpha he’s hopelessly in love with. Even worse, they’re spending the night in the famous Bell Witch Cave, completely alone and with no way to contact the outside world.
Ryan knows he can survive and keep his preheat a secret, as long as Shane will stop being so protective and concerned. After all, it’s not like Shane wants to bond with him.
Right?
*breathe out so i can breathe you in | trxshmxuth
They've been tiptoeing around each other for months now, walking on ice so thin that Ryan can practically see the sexual tension swirling and raging underneath. Ryan's almost afraid that when the ice finally cracks, he's not going to be able to resurface again.On their next Unsolved investigation, the ice breaks.
eventually, the darkness stares back | EAST (WESTAGE)
Shane realizes he likes Ryan exactly the way he is: alive.
Four Down, One to Go | sunshinewinchesters
Ryan is sick and Shane is having a really shitty week.
*Hold Your Breath, It Gets Better | beethechange
Ryan stops short in the doorway of his bedroom, banging his shoulder against the doorframe in his haste, because he’s too late. Shane’s kneeling in front of the bottom drawer of his bedside table, peering down at the contents, hand frozen in a hover like he’d been about to reach in. His face is a blank mask.
“Ah. I keep the batteries in the top drawer. Not. Not the bottom one.”
“Yes,” Shane says, cocking his head to the left in puzzlement, and then he pauses for a fraction of a second too long as he considers his words. “I can see that the batteries are not in the bottom drawer.”
*How Deep (Is Your Love) | touchinghearts
The last thing Shane expects when he exits the bathroom is for his boyfriend to appear out of fucking nowhere, pin him against the wall, and swallow his cock down in the open hallway of a hotel.
It's a love/hate kind of thing. | heyghouls
Shane is an executive producer at BuzzFeed and Ryan is his intern. It's not love at first sight for the boys, but will they finally see eye to eye when they realize they have more in common than they thought? Shane is an introvert who finds it hard to let people in, and Ryan is a cute loving boy who just wants to figure the guy out.
Just Out of Reach | formosus_iniquis
A variation on the "I asked for your help getting a book off the top shelf and and you laughed at my taste and called me a nerd so I shoved you into a table of nonfiction best-sellers and that’s how we both got banned from the quirky community bookstore" prompt
keep you like an oath | spoopyy
"I'm in love with you," Ryan says, desperate."No, you're in love with the views."
kiss me like you mean it | rocketshiptospace
“Hi,” Tall man says, taking in the sight in front of him. “I’m sorry, I heard banging and yelling and I just, are you okay?”
“No. Yes. Maybe,” Ryan says, slowly standing back up on two legs again. “My door won’t open.” He eventually ads, when him and Tall man have just stared at each other for a few seconds.
“That’s unfortunate,” Tall man says, smiling at him. He has a really nice smile. “But it happens. It’s an old building, you know. Doors get stuck sometime. Here, let me try,” He steps past Ryan, and places his hand on the door handle. The door swings open like it’s nothing.
or, Ryan's apartment building plays matchmaker.
*Muscles Better and Nerves More | beethechange
A certain meddling Voodoo Queen of New Orleans thinks Ryan and Shane need some new perspective on life. After an inadvisable ritual deposits Ryan in Shane’s body, and Shane in Ryan’s, the ghoulboys pursue some soul-searching and self-discovery to put things right. Sometimes in a sexy way.
the calm before crescendo | abovetheruins
Alternate title: 5 times Shane Madej was flustered by Ryan Bergara, and 1 time he finally did something about it.
*The Desk Fic | SincerelyLeah
Shane was having a shitty Monday morning and it was all because of one person, Ryan Bergara. But, by now he should know that endless teasing gets Shane more than riled up.
Things That Go Bump in the Night (and 7 till 12 at weekends) | HoopyFrood
Shane works at a Haunted House. Ryan is Ryan. Things go about as well as you'd imagine.
Tranquility Base | sessrumnir
After their successful Sims series, Kelsey has a different video proposal for the boys. This time, they're testing how fast gossip travels in the office. But Ryan doesn't expect their relationship to change so fast because of it.
*wasted on you | cursingcursive (queenradi)
there's a reason shane loves when ryan wears his clothes.
Weird | Helsabot
One night, the stack of pillows between them becomes one stack too many. “Let me— let me hit you with a thought. A theory.” “A postulation?” “Sure. Let me postulate at you.” “Postulate away, baby.”
You Make Me Glow | sohapppily
Whenever they were on their ghoul excursions, Shane always had a snarky comment on the tip of his tongue and a twisted smirk to shoot at Ryan’s terror. He was mostly the same way in their unrecorded life, but they played up the banter for the sake of The Boys. Although it was a welcome respite for Ryan, seeing Shane in these settings with nothing but sleep on his features never failed to be a bit jarring.
Ryan couldn’t look away.
lightning in a bottle | LexTheMoose
Love is slow-dancing on the balcony of a house party at 11 PM.
meet me halfway | poetdameron
In a world where everything changed over the night, Ryan and Shane's minds connect miles away, making Shane the man of Ryan's dreams. Literally.
Batch 2
*And they were roommates (oh my god they were roommates) | Squeakyshroom
All my notes said on this one was “this is pure sex jesus”
2:10 to Wellton | quackers
and i'm puffing my chest, getting red in the face | pissedofsandwich
Bed-warm Hands and the Ghost of Elvis | MiraclesofPaul
*BFFS Get Married For A Week - Ryan and Shane | aspookycryptidsock
distorted truths | hwsinbs
*Everything's Weird and We're Always in Danger | beethechange
hammer me to the cross of my despair | heartchains
I Think the Ghost Likes You | cactsu
*I’ve Kissed You Before, but I Didn’t Do It Right (Can I Try Again) | beethechange
if i should fall | abovetheruins
*Just The Facts | millyvanilly (miloisnothere)
*Out of Control with Ryan | beethechange
*Pushing All Your Buttons | beethechange
satisfaction brought it back | ElasticElla
Short Stack | Anonymous
*Thank you, Satan | Squeakyshroom
The Chain | Lafayette1777
Rough water | heyghouls
Batch 3
The Thrilling Gardner Museum Heist | orphan_account
One in Five Billion | punk_rock_yuppie
a short history of almost something | cooliohoolio
*A Suspicion of Feelings | beethechange
I Will Be the Sun, I Will Wake You Up | sohapppily
*ready if it happens with you | sarcasticfishes
*The Denial Twist | beethechange
The Bizarre Road Trip Of A Missing Family | icantwritegood
Beautiful Crime | orphan_account
The Odd Death of Michelle Von Emster | icantwritegood
won't you ride on my fast machine? | ElasticElla
Batch 4
*Breathe | quackers
*The Hunger | poetdameron
Black Sun | quackers
contrapposto | spoopyy
(Let me tell you that I never liked major character death but I accidentally read this one without reading the warning and YOO I am a fan of major character death now. This was beautifully written!)
darling it's a faded notion | varnes
(This was the very first shyan fic I’ve read and still one of the best one’s)
*Full-Court Press | beethechange
(I remember this one oh my god this has jersey kink in it and I didn’t even know what it means until I read this and it awaken something in me. This writer I swear to god. They could write Ryan and Shane fucking in a hot dog costume on top of the mountains and I’d still be into it.)
*Ryan Number One | quackers
(THIS has everything I want and didn’t know I needed. This is hot this is sexy. Five star porn right here.)
theft by finding | varnes
*Wicked Game | quackers
(This is my favorite. This ruined me in so many ways and I got so affected and shaken up that I can’t draw anything for months. I have been to so many fandoms and read hundreds of fics but nothing has fucked me up like this. I have to switch to a different fandom because I am having the longest art block ever because I keep thinking about this fic. I am not exaggerating I swear if you see my previous posts there’s quite a gap in my shyan art. And I am saying this in the highest of compliment, this fic changed my life.)
*Translucent | poetdameron
*Begin the Begin, Over and Over | beethechange
*Let the Sunshine Burn Your Eyes | YogurtTime
*Look How Long They Are | drunkkenobi
*The Disturbing Mystery of the Jamison Family | icantwritegood
(This one’s fun! I fucking love this one! Lot’s of angry sex. The banter! The banter holy shit hmm!! I don’t want to spoil anymore. It’s dark but it’s funny it’s also hot and sad. This writer loooves angst.)
*Collide | needywitch
* - has porn
This got way longer than I thought and I couldn’t even put the summary in some of them but all of these are worth the read. This fandom has so much talented writers that my small monkey brain went fucking bananas on the list.
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Brothers anon, hope your doing well!
1: Ran feels the same both before and after Ran forgave Ranbob. He cant help but feel guilty and tends to avoid bringing up past memories incase Ranbob doesnt remember them, cause he can't stand to see the confused look in Ranbobs eyes that soon turn to one full of sadness and a sort of emptiness. It makes Ran feel awful. It also causes Ran to think that their childhood and old relationship is gone. Which particularly keeps Ran distant from his brother, because he's scared and doesn't want to redo everything if Ranbob will just forget it.
8: All of the above. Cletus is a chaotic shit that loves creating and hearing about anything chaotic. Also he has burned down a few things in the past so he is a bit of a anarchist. They just had those cards, after all they knew they where gonna travel for a bit so why not bring playing cards to try to provide entertainment?
11: I forget if I said that (if I did then I changed it) but Ranbob actually knows that Ran is most likely dead as he wouldn't survive the night, but he still has some hope that his little brother survived.
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3: It was scary for him but because of the sudden turn of events he didn't really have time to register his feelings before he was getting smacked around and blinded. And yes cause Ran deserves a overprotective arc to show him that his group does love and care for him even if he thinks otherwise.
10: The townspeople act rationally to defend themselves. Even if that means they start fights because their not being respectful or kind.
11: I'm not sure what they are. All I know is their the parent figure of the friend group but will also bite your ankles at a moments notice just because they want too.
14: Or Foolish just punts Jackie into the sand to protect his home from a possibility destructive teen. (I'm thinking yes to both of those, and we get to see one of the siblings embrace their enderside and just go crazy on Raq which leads to murder and trauma!)
15: For the cursing one I just love to imagine something like.
Ranbob: *accidentally knocks over a stack of books* Shit!
Baby Ran: Shit!
Ranbob: *freezes and turns to look at Ran*
Baby Ran: *innocently smiling* Shit!
Ranbob: rAN NO--
(I've decided the group for this is going to be Technoblade, Phil, Ranboo, Tubbo, Karl, and Sapnap, and I may name the sub au like Brothers + Others cause it rhymes and I find it slightly funny). Oh Foolish is going to be terrified and scared for his safety, he's gonna have two hyper active teens climbing him like he's a jungle gym. Ran didnt want to help at first because he was to suspicious of them, but when proof was provided he changed his mind, and decided to take a risk to help them, but he still doesn't trust them fully. Plus, he felt bad after hearing their story, and couldn't help but sympathize with them because he felt that lost and confused at one time, and its a awful feeling. And while he won't admit it, he's curious about Ranboo and wants to talk to and get to know Technoblade, after all he did choose Techno as his idol. When the group first visited Kelalen, they got the Orphan Slayer as a gift, and because they did express some interests in going back to Mizu to see what they can do about Dream, so they got it to help them. So when Technoblade shows off his Orphan Slayer as possible proof, Watson brings out the groups Orphan Slayer and the two exact duplicate swords (expect for some nics on the GF group's sword) take most by surprise, and serve as some proof. Ranboo brings up his memory book, and since Ranbob read a bit of it, the two are able to perfectly recite a page of the book. And Karls watch, book he has of both Mizu and the Pit, and his knowledge about all groups are also proof. But even after proof the GF group is still somewhat suspicious that their who they say they are, but eventually they come to fully believe them. Ranbob is in awe. Because his ancestor is in front of him! He can ask questions he had about the history of the SMP and finally get answers! But he is also scared, because why is his dead ancestor here? Why are there so many others? What does this mean for him? Theres so much uncertainty that its hard for him to relax. The enderman hybrids get along well enough, but since Ranbob is a anxious mess, Ranboo is also an anxious and nervous mess, and Ran is bad with emotions, they dont get along super well. Tubbo and Jackie get along well and love to share stories about their respective enderman friend. Sapnap, Cletus, and Grievous get along well and even with Sapnaps current predicament, he still joins in with jokes and pranks. Karl, Phil, Isaac, Watson, and Benjamin get along very well with their habit of leading and taking care of their friends, and because their the ones planning what to do with everything going on. Technoblade doesn't really get along super well with anyone from the GF group, but he takes an interest in Ran and Watson. Only Technoblade, Tubbo, and Phil are Ranboos haunting. Ranboo tries to get close to his decedents, and he success in some places but fails in others. The time group doesn't know about Ranbobs possession, purely because Ranbob begs his group to not tell them. But the time group also suspects that something is up, and while Sapnap and Techno want to push to find out what it is but they dont because Phil yells at them. For the fighting, Phil and Ranboo want to help but are told not too for now. Saying them intervening could make things worse. So they don't. But Ranboo breaks the rule cause he cant stand hearing the two fight anymore.
Hi, and same to you!
1: Oh, ouch. The way you phrased it, he thinks Ranbob could still forget? Does Ran not know Dream caused it?
8: FGHJK-Anon. Anon. Hearing Cletus was a bit of an anarchist, just, made my day. Holy heck. Can you imagine Quackity’s reaction to hearing that? Oh my god, that’d be so funny.
The cards are the only game they brought? Sounds like it might get boring quick. And a bored group makes for a chaotic one.
11: Ah, so it was a hope thing. Hm. I don’t think I’ve asked before- feel free to correct me if I have-, but, if Ranbob thought Ran was dead, how did he feel upon finding out he was alive-especially considering the circumstances.
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3: Poor Ran. But also, yes! Overprotective arc! Let everyone go feral for the dude who’s always ready to do the same for them.
10: Hmm.
11(?): They...sound...interesting??? Honestly, I don’t think that answer settled my nerves at all, but y’know what, none of my business. The gremlin friend is whatever they are, and I will not question it further.
14: Jackie’s just getting tossed around everywhere, huh. First by Ran, then by Foolish, who’s next up to yeet the child? (Also, yay! Murder and trauma, always fun!)
15: Pfft, oh goodness. That must’ve been fun to explain to his parents.
----------------
Hey, it does rhyme! Nice.
Poor Foolish. He had a mostly nice life before Tubbo’s return, probably. Oh well. And Techno’s got a traumatized fan now, that’ll be interesting. What does he do with his new-old future sword? Duel wield? Let the GF group keep it?
Two anxious endermen and one who’s bad with emotions, what emotional pain will they cause each other?
What kind of stories do Jackie and Tubbo share? Funny ones? Blackmail?
Sapnap, Cletus, and Grievous sound like a terrifying force, and honestly, for the sake of everyone else, I hope a prank war never sparks between them and Tubbo and Jackie.
Do the leaders of the group all kind of take charge together in light of this situation? In what ways does Ranboo succeed, and in what ways does he fail? How does Sapnap and Karl not being part of his haunting effect their relationship with the GF gang, considering they all are? Do they ever become part of a haunting?
Do they find out about the possession, and if so, reactions? What happens when Ranboo involves himself in the fighting? Does it get better, or worse?
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Grey’s Anatomy: Review
Took me four months, but I have successfully watched all 16 seasons of Grey’s Anatomy - and what there is of season 17. Figured it deserves some words.
HOLY SHIT I LOVE THIS SHOW? SO MUCH?
(To set the appropriate mood for this and give you a TL;DR.)
That being said to open it up, it is most definitely not flawless. So let’s start there. For me, the one big flaw it has is really the writers’ cuckolding kink. So. Much. Cheating. And - worse than the cheating plots - the cheating apologism. They echo the exact same sentiment so often, that cheating is only one mistake and humans make mistakes. That’s... at one point, that stops being a plot device and starts to be very telling about the writer, to be quite frank.
That being said, let’s roll out the positive. And let’s kick it off with something that relates to all the cheating; so many forced love-triangles, but they usually don’t include toxic rivalries. It’d be so easy to have the men throw punches over the women or the women pull hair and scratch each other’s eyes... so many other rom-drama shows do it already, after all. But, honestly, the two lose ends on the love V (because these things ain’t triangles) usually have such a good dynamic with each other, ranging from civil to friendships to deep mentor ships - Meredith and Addison, Mark and Jackson, Cristina and Teddy? Seeing these dynamics, quite frankly, makes having to sit through a love-triangle-nonsense actually more than bearable.
The most impressive thing about the show is, to me, the amount of rep on it. I mean sure, the main lead is white and I’d estimate half the overall cast are white, but even from the get go - in 2005 - the ratio of white actors versus actors of color in the main cast was five to four. And they’re not background or side characters - I mean, two of them are, aside from Meredith, the only ones to still be around on season 17. They all have their own plotlines, their own relationships and troubles and struggles. It’s not just the Meredith show, not by far.
And beyond that, the queer rep on this show is... honestly mindblowing? I mean, seriously?
They introduced their first queer character in season 2, in 2005, when other procedual dramas that aired then in large parts just... never... added queer characters. And sure! Joe was only a recurring character and not a main character, but he was recurring for six seasons, he recurred a lot, he got established, he and his husband partook in the plot. And, again, this was just the beginning, back in 2005.
They’ve since then steadily broadened their horizon and become more inclusive.
Recurring and main character wise, we’ve had 5 lesbians, 5 bisexual women, 4 gay men and 2 trans characters over these 17 seasons. That’s a very solid list, honestly. If I look at other shows, again especially procedual dramas that are still largely aimed at a more conservative audience, the fact that we’ve had actual queer storylines in every single season since season 2? That’s amazing.
Even more so on the one-off characters, to be quite honest. Just... casually, this patient has two moms, this man is visited by his husband, here the child of the patient is nonbinary, look this patient is in a polyamorous relationship. Sure, those are only the one-off episodical characters, but you have no idea how much that matters too.
I know I’m repeating myself with this, but especially when compared to other procedual dramas, where the characters are often only queer when it’s important to the plot. He got beaten up and ended up in the hospital because he was gay. She got killed because she was trans. They’re motivational and important to the plot (and also usually used to victimize the characters).
The fact that this show, even 10+ years ago already, just... included queerness as part of our reality, included it casually, positively and repeatedly - really, it’s not just like it’s one episode per season like it’s some obligation, it happens a lot? For no actual needed plot reason, she just has a wife and she’s just happily married to her wife and that’s it, because queer people exist.
And I just, I struggle to express how much this casual rep means to me? And how it becomes even more amazing if you consider how long ago it started? And if you add to it the steady prominent recurring/main character rep?
Sure, it’s not perfect - the majority of their characters of color are black; it’s not overly diverse when it comes to what characters of color it included, it took forever to include the second Asian character and the first Muslim character and it could feature a broader variety of ethnicities, just like it could offer a broader variety of queer experiences, I mean it took them forever to introduce the first mlm main character and they have yet to include a bisexual man, I’d also just love to see an ace character or a polyamorous character, to paint a contrast to the sex-obsession and cheating plotlines - but... it’s doing more than many others and I do think it deserves praise for that and it keeps improving. They didn’t just add Erica and Callie as the first wlw couple and then stuck to only having two queer ladies on screen at the same time and never more, just constantly replacing Callie’s girlfriend. They kept adding more, they keep adding more.
Now, on to my absolute favorite thing about this show.
Because, let’s make one thing clear, I hate cheating and under other circumstances the amount of cheating on this show would have driven me off it ten seasons ago. But despite all of the very forced romance drama and sex obsessed allos on the show, that is not the show’s main focus.
This was never mainly about the romance. It’s always been about the platonic relationships first and foremost. Romances changed and broke up and got complicated, but what prospered were the friendships and found family relationships.
Cristina and Meredith are the defining relationship of this show. They are... friendship portrayed in a way I have never seen friendship portrayed before. The writing on their dynamic is just amazing.
And when Cristina leaves the show, the shift to Meredith-Alex and to the sister-dynamic between Meredith, Maggie and Amelia really works.
Personally, after watching the show, I’ve come to divide it into three arcs, each with a Part A and a Part B.
The first arc of the show - spanning seasons 1 to 5 - are about Meredith, Cristina, George, Izzie and Alex. And they explore the dynamic between those five and the individual relationships between them all, so very well. This was really found family done right.
Arc 2 is what I dubbed the rebranding arc - seasons 6 to 10. In Part A (s6 to s8), we got the focus on the Mercy West merger, ending in the horrific plane crash. While Part B is what I call the outfall, season 9 dealing with the outfall from the plane crash and season 10 being all about that Meredith-Cristina outfall.
I love Arc 1 a whole lot, it’s really good. I think Arc 2 is good too, especially the plane crash and its outfall were very gripping and well done, but I do think that this middle part earns the dub as rebranding because it feels like the show itself is trying to find its footing, trying to figure out a direction after MAGIC graduated into residents (and, inevitably, fell apart with the death of George and the departure of Izzie). It’s a bit unfocused on where it wants to go and I still loathe the big misunderstanding nonsense of season 10 (but am glad that Meredith and Cristina rekindled before Cristina’s departure).
Arc 3 is the sisters arc, where the Meredith-Maggie-Amelia dynamic rules, with a more uneven split between A and B, because A spans seasons 11 to 16 for me and is lovingly dubbed the Merlex arc by me, while B is just... season 17; the corona pandemic is really shifting the tone and focus and it coincides with the departure of Alex.
I’m more mixed on it than I am on the other two. For me, Cristina and Meredith just are the heart and soul of the show, so despite just how brilliantly they handled that all, I still miss them (though I greatly appreciate the fact that she still regularly comes up through phone calls, texts, etc). I greatly disliked Alex’s departure (which is a rant of its own).
On the overall, I would actually rank them in order - the first five seasons were my favorite, followed by the awkward middle because it still added brilliant things to it regardless, and despite coming in last, I do also love the second half of the show with the sisters in the focus.
I do admit that I had high hopes that Jo would become Meredith’s new person in season 17, considering the tremendous growth their relationship had - especially considering how Meredith crawled into Jo’s bed and was the one to coax what had happened with her mother out of her; that was “my person” behavior, quite frankly, and I also thought that Alex’s departure might bring them closer. I truly did not like Alex’s parting words to Meredith that she’s always been her own person.
Well, duh. Meredith Grey is an absolute badass. Which, also a thing I love a lot about this show. She is so incredibly strong and brilliant and takes care of herself.
But the point of her having her person was never that she needed someone else to stand in for her; it was to have someone around whom she didn’t have to be that strong. Someone she could come to to be weak around, someone to have her back when everything became too much. You just... can’t do that for yourself. So that sentiment was just incredible rubbish and I will be very mad if they truly have her embrace that nonsense, because she deserves someone like that.
Lastly, let’s talk romantic relationships. Very broadly, I assure you - I wouldn’t even have the patience to tackle them all, I mean seriously everyone has had sex on this show, or so it feels (no but seriously, the amount of overlapping ships on this show is ridiculous).
The only note I do have on that is that... nothing lasts forever. Quite frankly, the most “endgame” ships on this show are Richard/Catherine and Ben/Miranda (which, bless them, those two are literally my favorite of the canon ships). Everything else is just... fair game? They change, they break up, even if you absolutely hate a ship - don’t worry, it’s gonna end soon.
And occasionally, that... is even more rewarding than seeing a couple you do like get together? I mean, honestly, watching a ship you dislike for x reasons and then having them break up on screen and a character actually listing x reasons to the other’s face? Very carthatic.
I also have to mention the adoption positivity; Meredith and Derek adopt a child, not as a last resort after all else has failed, but simply because they fell in love with that little girl, Ben and Bailey took in Joey, because they have big hearts. So often, adoption is only shown as that very, very last option after you wasted thousands of dollars on all other biological options and then it is like a tragic compromise or something. Seeing them just... fall in love with this baby and adopt her and love her is so refreshing?
This show is just... really, really good? The writing is brilliant. I mean, this show made me laugh more than some comedies have? It’s funny, poignant and... not overly dramatic? I mean, of course it’s dramatic - it’s a drama. But it’s more... grounded. Even with some outstandingly extreme things happening, it is still very down to Earth, compared to other dramas that feel the need to go higher and more bizarre each season. It’s incredibly consistent, it includes so much rep and actual plotlines for every character, it really draws out relationships - familiar, platonic, romantic - in such great details.
I just really love this show.
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GO Whumptober Day 31: Today’s Special- Torture [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9][10][11][12][13][14][15][16][17][18][19][20][21][22][23][24][25][26][27][28][29][30]
“You know,” Crowley heard, as he slowly woke. “Every hunter worth their salt has a tracking device they keep on their person. And his led me straight to you. So tell me the truth: where is Mathias?”
Crowley opened his eyes to find himself in a mostly dark room, tied to a chair, plastic spread out on the floor around him, and floodlights hitting him right in the eyes.
There was a woman standing in front of him, arms crossed and looking both unimpressed and threatening.
“I mean-- I ate him.” Crowley answered, feeling a mite groggy, like he may have been drugged. The pounding in his skull backed up that theory.
“Oh, a jokester. Funny. Mathias is my brother, so I hope for your sake he’s around here somewhere.”
Crowley groaned.
“Mathias sent a child after me by lying to her about the source of her ma’s illness, and then he attacked when I turned up to help them, so I turned into a snake and ate him.” Crowley told her. “I’m not joking, and I’m awful sorry for your loss, though he was a bit of a prick.”
The woman looked less than pleased with that answer, and paced back and forth a bit.
“You wanna talk me through what you’re thinking, or would you rather wear a hole in that tarp?” He finally asked.
“Well, your eyes say demon, so that makes your story a little more plausible. I don’t want to believe my brother’s dead, because if I come home without him, my father will be furious.”
Crowley listened, nodding.
“So I suppose,” she continued, “My options are to take you back to my father and let you tell him your story, and hope I get let off the hook while he kills you slowly, a little bit at a time, or, I do it myself, here and now, save myself the trouble of the roadtrip with you, and know I’ll probably kill you off faster than he would, so it’s really sort of a favor, on account of how you’re right, and my brother was a prick.”
“Sounds like either way is pretty shit, as far as options go on my end.” Crowley quipped, and she huffed a little laugh.
“Shame about you eating him,” she responded. “I feel like we really coulda grown to like one another.”
---
Crowley swam in and out of consciousness for the next several hours, as this incredibly disturbed human woman made a game of removing bits of him and putting them in labelled mason jars.
It really was like some kind of parody of a decor show, the way she tied little ribbons around each one, and labelled them with what they were and the time when she removed them from him.
He had no idea where they were or how they’d got there, but she’d done a damn good job of making sure she wouldn’t be interrupted.
He’d yelled and cried and screamed as loud as he could, but it seemed like there were no neighbors around to hear, or care, or help.
And he had no idea where Aziraphale was. He wished he could call to him, though, reach him, ask for some kind of way out of here.
“So it occurs to me,” Amber said, for that was her name, and Crowley hated that she’d bothered telling him about her, because he sympathized now, a little.
“I haven’t had much opportunity to learn about demons, and how they react to things. For example:” She held up a bottle of salt. “I can make a circle with this, and you can’t leave it, yeah? But what happens if I just…”
She upended the bottle over his chest, slashed open and bleeding sluggishly as it was.
He screamed again as the salt began to dissolve in his blood and sting at the open skin.
She watched, dispassionately, and when he voice broke and his screams turned to little whimpers, she hummed to herself.
“I’d say that was about on par with a human, actually.” She noted. “Which is a real pity, I expected more… fireworks, or the like.”
Crowley twisted his wrist back and forth, trying again to work his hand free, but she laughed.
His fingers were broken; she’d done that first thing, so even if he could get free, the act of summoning a miracle would be even more painful.
“How about the old folklore fixes, eh? Silver? Iron? Garlic?”
“Werewolves, fairies, and vampires. Not me.” He answered her, voice rough from screaming and ruining his attempt at sounding cool.
“And how about holy water? Does that do anything?”
He croaked out a little laugh.
“Tingles a bit. Demons use it as hot sauce.”
He had loosened the duck tape around his wrist enough to be able to move his hand a bit, and he smashed it against the chair, forcing his broken bones back into some semblance of being hand shaped.
“Hm. Hot sauce, you say?” She asked, and he didn’t like that at all. He wiggled his fingers, braced himself, and summoned a miracle.
“Maybe I should go get you some, then. After all, you are being punished for having eaten my brother-- maybe keeping your mouth on a constant holy water drip will make the punishment fit the crime a little better.”
Crowley sucked in air, in too much pain to try and figure out how to talk his way out of that one.
“Did I hear,” A new voice said in the darkness, and Crowley felt his eyes filling with tears of relief, “That you are in the market for some holy water?”
Aziraphale stepped forward, looking prim and proper as ever, and he’d even pulled out his halo and wings for the occasion.
Amber looked up at him in awe.
“You’re an angel aren’t you?” She asked, and Aziraphale smiled.
“I am. And it seems you’ve captured my own personal adversary.” He flicked his eyes towards Crowley, and Crowley whined at the cold expression in them.
Oh, Aziraphale was pissed. And worse, he was righteous.
“Oh, did you want to get in on this? It turns out he ate my brother, so…”
“Were you aware,” Aziraphale asked, voice still light and sweet and casual, “That your brother had made a deal with devils? That your brother kidnapped me, and sold me to hell?”
Amber took a step back as Aziraphale turned to look at her again.
“What? No, I mean, Mathias was an arse, but…”
“Your brother.” Aziraphale said, advancing on her, “Was a monster. And so are you.”
Crowley could not actually see what happened, but he did see that Aziraphale did not so much as lift a finger.
Amber screamed and fell to her knees, her eyes bleeding, her mouth wide open and her tongue suddenly missing.
“Crowley, darling, I think you had better close your eyes.” Aziraphale warned him, and, when he’d obeyed, he could see the bright holy light that suddenly shone throughout the room even through his closed eyelids. It stabbed into him and set his head off again, and he whimpered.
Just as fast as it began, it ended, and then Aziraphale was there.
“Alright, here we are, I am so sorry. Come on, let’s get you out of here, get you healed up.”
“What-- what did you do with her?” Crowley asked. “She was just-- her and Mathias both, their dad…”
“Oh, I know.” Aziraphale told him. “I sent her body back to her father, covered in writing that tells the entire story of their awful line. No further children will be born to them. The old man will see his daughter, read my letter, and then never see again. And whatever monster he is running from will finally be able to catch up.”
Aziraphale’s voice echoed with a sort of certainty, a knowledge beyond what they knew, and Crowley realized he was tapping into the weapons available to angels in the most extreme of circumstances. The sorts of weapons he’d have been given back in the beginning, back when it was a very real war, and he’d been set out to kill demons like Crowley.
Instead, now, he was using those powers in defense of a demon.
“I don’t think heaven’s gonna like this too much.” Crowley told him, head lolling as they moved, and suddenly Crowley realized he was being carried.
“I don’t give two fucks what heaven does and doesn’t like!” Aziraphale said hotly, but sounding more like himself. “I won’t let anyone take you from me again!”
Crowley smiled at that, even though, as they crossed out of the darkness and into the sunlight, his headache flared up, and all the moving was jostling the salt in his chest wounds.
He was woozy and in and out of it, and Aziraphale got him laid out on the grass by a roadside, the day crisp and bright and lovely, and Crowley felt cold and vague.
“That crazy bint killed me, didn’t she?” He asked, and Aziraphale’s eyes flashed, brighter even than the noonday sun.
“Not if I’ve anything to say about it.” He answered. “I am so very sorry,” He added, softer and sweet.
Crowley sighed, trying not to tense even though he knew what was coming next.
Or, he thought he knew. Aziraphale had done some laying of hands on him before, once or twice, and it was terrible for them both each time. They both suffered when they went about helping one another that intimately. So he tried to prepare for more pain.
What he felt instead, though, was Aziraphale’s hand on the side of his face, and then his lips on his, and he was kissing him back to life.
And somehow, it didn’t hurt.
It was like being dunked suddenly into a cold pool, a shock to the system, unpleasant, but bracing. He felt alert again, like he’d just woken, and he felt the pain in his chest going away, the throbbing in his fingers ceasing as everything straightened out and reknitted itself, pieces regrowing and reattaching and healing.
And Aziraphale was kissing him.
When he was done, Crowley chased after his retreating lips, panting and confused.
“That didn’t-- it didn’t hurt me at all. Did it-- are you alright?” He demanded, sitting up and reaching for Aziraphale to catch him in case he fainted from the efforts.
But Aziraphale just smiled.
“When God said she wanted us to be closer,” He said, sounding, finally like himself, “I suspect this is more what she had in mind.”
“You mean I could have been kissing you since winter?”
Aziraphale laughed and helped Crowley to his feet.
“If we weren’t so scared, I would say we could have been kissing for much longer than that. But, yes. I don’t think we’ll have any problems with healing one another any longer.”
Crowley felt tears coming to his eyes again, and he grabbed hold of Aziraphale and held onto him tightly.
“Let’s go find somewhere that’s quiet.” He requested. “Somewhere out of the city. You bring your books, I’ll bring my plants… and with any luck neither of us will have to heal the other ever again.”
“Oh, Crowley.” Aziraphale said on a sigh, “That sounds delightful. How do you feel about the south downs?”
“If you’re there?” Crowley told him, as he reached to pull him into another kiss. “Better than heaven could ever be.”
#GO Whumptober2020#Good omens fic#aziraphale#crowley#bamf!aziraphale#happy halloween!#whumptober#the end#that writing thing I do
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