#which is quite notable honestly

[rawliverandgoronspice]

They way we all be fighting for our life whenever nintendo openly decides they care about that timeline again

honestly, I am a little tired of nintendo's attitude. They do not seem to care a whole lot about their lore or the characterization of their world (they = management, I'm sure individual gamedevs do care and fight for their life and lose on the regular) given they appear to have outsourced it, which, I mean, it's fine it's their world, it's their game, they cultivate whichever audience suits them best. But for them to put out a new updated timeline that you can buy for money, after everything? I don't know, it's starting to feel borderline contemptful to me.

Is it a game that cares about narrative or not? If yes, then you're doing a rather poor job of that imo. If not, then stop pretending like you put any thought into this, and stop milking the investment of old fans while failing to understand what a lot of them are asking for.

I think I'm just going to sidestep a lot of what Nintendo is doing and hope for enough pushback that they change their strategy, which I don't assume will happen given there will always be people to be invested in Zelda games. In the meantime, I'll hope for a smaller game, extremely extraordinarily ignore the movie, and do my own thing.

[sysig]

Coming in to play! (Patreon)

[moonstandardtime]

i want to put link in isat. im sure hed do fine. the heros spirit endures

[redhoodinternaldialectical]

Counterintuitively, Jason trafficking drugs himself, and the way he treats drug dealers in general is actually one of the core reasons I do believe he has a real moral backbone.

In Lost Days we see him mention that he killed his small arms teacher because the smack he was dealing was poisoned. In Nightwing (2016) Annual #2 Jason is particularly violent towards their enemy because he cut his heroin with other substances, leading to his mother's first overdose. In Under the Red Hood, his most important rule is 'no selling to kids', and he is specifically employing people who do sell drugs to adults.

Playing a bit of Headcanon Jazz here - listening to the notes Jason doesn't play as much as the ones he does - It feels really notable to me that dealing drugs is not enough to get on Jason's shit list. On some level Jason thinks it's okay to deal drugs. Even more importantly: Jason doesn't at all imply that drug users are at fault - nor that they need to have the choice to use taken from them 'for their own good'. Heck, I can't remember any instance of him saying that doing drugs is a bad thing.

He has lived with and cared for someone struggling with an addiction that she died to, which would have made it really easy to take him in a 'no leniency, no tolerance, kill all drug dealers and burn all the crack so no one can smoke it' road. Yet that's the opposite of how he's operating.

And I'm putting all that together to get a Jason who firmly believes in harm reduction and that when it comes to drugs, people have a right to risk; they have a right to choose to use. I don't think it's too much further of a stretch to say that he thinks that those who do use should be supported by infrastructure ensuring that their drugs are uncut and properly dosed and that they should have safe places to use and well funded rehab options if they want to quit.

This whole thing is so important to me because it lies completely outside of his emotional conflict of 'I wasn't avenged'; it's proof that there was more to Jason's talk about running Gotham differently than simply killing people.

Factually, there are a huge number of criminal activities that could be used to improve the lives of vulnerable people.

I firmly believe that no government has the right to detain, imprison, deport, et.c. people fleeing violence and persecution in their country of origin. A criminal organization that genuinely had their best interest in mind who could provide access to new identities, jobs, housing, and paperwork for cheap could save and change hundreds of lives. Sex workers, especially survival sex workers who want to quit and move on to a new job, could benefit enormously from protection from the cops, and from landlords kicking them out, and the ability to get criminal charges purged from their records, and lots of other stuff. People who use street drugs need a lot of the same things, as do people who need access to medication but for whatever reason can't get prescriptions the legal way.

This is all stuff that is already a staple of organized crime - they just do it in ways that are insanely abusive and exploitative.

It makes sense that Jason would look at that and think he could make it work! Honestly I'd love to read a comic about him trying! He could be the pinnacle of Be Gay Do Crime! Sadly though, it's very unlikely we ever will, especially because his term as a drug lord was so incredibly short to begin with. Under the Red Hood, a tiny snippet of Robin (1993) and Green Arrow (2001) #69 - #72 is really all we get, and none of those really got into the politics of his organization either.

Tho, there is a tiny snippet we possibly see in Seeing Red, my favorite Jason run ever, and I will take any excuse to talk about it so here we go lol!

This is a comic in which Batman gets some things wrong about Jason, and might be straight up lying to Green Arrow in places too, so I don't think we can take his word for it when he says Jason is driving up the trade. Especially not when Jason hasn't given a single flying fuck about collecting wealth for himself in basically any other appearance ever.

Is he using drugs as a trading good to some capacity? Yes, that's a minor plot point here, however, I think justice is very present in his reasoning. I think Jason is being selective with which shipments he's keeping - testing each and destroying the stuff that's extra dangerous, making sure that what's getting used is as safe as it can be. Plus, he might be reducing the supply so that drug trade can't expand, while considering complete elimination to be flatly undesirable, since it could force users to go cold turkey, something that can be dangerous, or at least very painful.

Now, obviously this is still headcanon territory, we never really see into Jason's head about this specific topic, but I do feel like it's a reasonable way to fill in that gap!

Anyways, this is why I've never felt like Jason's disagreements with Bruce's methods were purely about his own emotional desires. There's too much else surrounding that which he clearly also cares about.

[mageofmadness]

◞♡ nsfw thinking about the types of porn you'd find snooping on their computer before you start dating caleb, sylus, rafayel

caleb 100% has watched step bro porn. wasn't even that really into it. unfortunately, that is what you found on his phone when you went to use it the first time. poor timing on his part, you let it slide, not really having a moment to confront him. second time, he really needs to start closing out of his browsing tabs or clear his history before passing you his phone because it's not step bro porn but a whole lot of povs and your hair color specifically being searched. come shots, a smidge of hentai before he seems to go back to his trusty creampies. lots of those! a considerate amount of anal that sometimes crosses into hardcore. everything is wet and messy. also some errant solo videos....actually, that's every single solo video from this one creator watched in one night in his history. your eyes widen at the size of the toys she's using. you're kinda upset, not really, but he'd later admit that they just reminded him of you if he squinted and he liked to imagine you as his own personal porn star.

100% plugs his phone into the aux at one point, and some girl getting her guts rearranged plays in the car at max volume. a shameful moment for him.

sylus watches porn on his computer like an old man, don't shoot the messenger. daddy kink...that's his achilles heel and you note/stash that aside for later. what a wildcard. you're surprised by the wide range this man has, actually. his search history, as you sit there at the computer and scroll and scroll, is quite extensive. no real notable similarities beyond his penchant to favor backshots, which...also noted. you see, at one point, he got four pages into the amateur tag before giving up, which is oddly heartwarming. gunplay is a given and you roll your eyes at that. creampie as well, although sylus seems to have only clicked on the videos which explicitly refer to it as breeding. noted. a smidge of bdsm but honestly nothing crazy and fairly tame for the tag. after checking to ensure you really are alone, no one else is in the base, you realized the common similarity here is that all the video are loud. whimpering and moaning, sylus goes less for visual, more for audio, you must assume.

you 100% bring out the daddy kink once you start dating and it must be the confidence in which you say it because you're caught red-handed for snooping immediately.

rafayel is the one into roleplay, but not like your average everyday roleplay, no. his browser history is incriminating to the most severe degree, going as far as outside his chosen porn site of choice to search up things like bunny going into heat or tiny bunny gets put into a mating press and bred. he’s just straight up searching that on google, and after digging deeper, seems he then finds himself on a website with all sorts of outfits. he would never admit it but the idea hit him late one night and he just really needed to see someone that looked like you with a fluffy tail plug getting fucked. bunny breeding, cat ears, going into heat, the classic pink thigh-high socks with the little paws on the end. lots of solo content, lots of fancy dildos that have you wide-eyed again. the crowning jewel is the oviposition videos, though, which...make sense after you take a peek at them. alright, you'll give him that one. the whole egg thing...lemurian...makes sense, but sheer amount of these videos is a bit much. the sheer size of some of the eggs is a bit insane. combined with the given breeding kink and the…egg laying…you feel a tad bad for finding out his not so secret, secret.

fortunately, rafayel has no shame, though he manages a bit the first time you dress up as a bunny for him. that's no coincidence and while bunnies don't lay eggs, per see, when you hit him with that line he comes instantly and is embarrassed after the fact.

also 100% uses twitter for porn too you just didn’t find that

[billyvell]

Saxon's feelings for Lochy

Ok, so, I've noticed that a lot of people don't seem to think Saxon has a thing for his brother, only for Piper and Lochy for him and I wanted to show the evidence otherwise because it was literally the first thing I noticed.

After he asks how many bedrooms there are and is told it's three, he immediately says "Ok, so Lochy, you're with me."

Piper doesn't seem to like that and offers for him to sleep with her instead (knowing there was some kind incest vibe, it really came across like they're fighting over him). He then objects by pointing out brothers and sisters shouldn't sleep together. Which seems like a classic way to set up for possible gay stuff, "oh it's just guys/girls, don't worry, we can be naked around each other, no big deal".

When Piper invites Lochy to the temple, he immediately goes. "No, we were gonna go to the pool".

He asks him again like he's genuinely upset at Lochy possibly not going with him, and maybe even by being with his sisters instead. Once again, like they're fighting over him, it's even framed with Lochy looking indecisive at the two of them, not knowing which option to pick (parallel with the college thing? Possibly a common theme for his character).

After he says he'll go to temple first and then the pool after, he's still upset.

When Lochy does get to the pool, he notices it and calls him immediately.

After a quick question about the monks, what does he do? Grab his dick and talk about how he gets so horny traveling.

When they're in bed, he immediately starts to talk shit about Piper's buddishm and her overall attitude in life, saying Buddism is for people who "want to supress in life", and most notably. "Don't have desires, don't even try."

And then he tells him that it's good to want things, at least if you can have them. If we're to assume he knows about Lochy possibly being attracted to him, this feels like a subtle way of encouraging that. Of telling it's ok to have these desires, that it's worth a try...

And there's where it comes the theory that Piper isn't actually into Lochy but just trying to "protect" him from Saxon, possibly because he tried something with her in the past and she didn't like it. So no wonder he's bitter about her and thinks she wants to "supress things".

In this case, by telling Lochy to do the opposite, the implication would be that he should "give it a try" with him, unlike her.

He comments on how good-looking he is.

And then tells him he "Doen't need to shrink away from life like her". Again, if we're going with the theory that he tried something with her in the past, he's trying to push him in the other direction. Don't reject it.

And then, you know. Asking him what kind of porn does he like. Going back, he does that right after saying he should "get laid, get everything" and that he's "going to help him" with that.

It's also just, like, the most classic and obvious set-up, to bring in sex/porn into the conversation, the idea of watching it together or what not...

"How the fuck am I going to jerk off with you in here all week."

Already kinda suggestive considering the vibes, but... Remember that he asked to room with him, and even objected when Piper suggested otherwise, when that would've left him with his own room.

I guess the confusing part is when he closes the door after he noticed Lochy still watching him. But honestly it would probably be too far to just jerk off in front of him like he's not even trying to not be weird.

He might just be playing the long game, and walking up naked to watch porn with him still awake in the room still feels like quite a tease. He might also just be getting cold feet, or, perhaps, the whole thing is subconscious rather than on purpose and at that moment he has the realization of how weird this situation is.

There's actually a moment where you can notice him thinking about whether Lochy is looking before he looks back at him, and it seems like he's a little nervous about it (before this shot he was just looking at the screen, but then he raises his head to question it).

So, cold feet? Checking to see if the teasing is working or if he looked away? A bit freaked out with the realization of how weird this is? Idk, but it's definetely not one-sided, and I was actually more surprised at the implication that Lochy felt the same.

Edit: I feel the need to point out that after the latest episodes, I'm not really abiding by the theory that something happened with Saxon and Piper anymore. I think she really just finds him creepy and annoying for no special reason.

I'm also not really feeling the idea that Saxon is grooming Lochy on purpose. He honestly seems way too innocent for that lol, so I'm fully on the camp that his behaviour is subconscious, but I still firmly believe he has unresolved feelings that he doesn't understand.

If anything, his insistence on turning Lochy "into a man" by buffing him up and making him get with women might be due to him being unable to deal with his attraction towards his cute twink brother...

Edit 2: Ok I'm going to include the fact that Sarah Catherine Hook said on an interview that she has it as a headcanon that Saxon tried to do something with Piper before, just cause it makes me look less stupid for having that theory at the beginning lol.

Link to the interview.

[lady-griffin]

Jinx's Hallucinations + Ekko

Before Act III drops, I wanted to talk about an aspect of Timebomb that I'm quite fascinated by -

Ekko isn’t a trigger for Jinx’s hallucinations.

He has even stopped her hallucinations – not intentionally or anything, but more than once Ekko's presence seems to have a nullifying impact on Jinx.

Which is odd, right?

One would assume due to their history Ekko would be just as triggering to Jinx as anyone else, if not more so, and yet the opposite seems to be true.

In Jinx's first reunion with Vi, she quickly becomes overwhelmed and has an episode due to a whole combination of factors, but notably because her hallucinations of Mylo and Claggor start attacking her, largely because she's starting to breakdown and is getting overwhelmed (a self-perpetuating cycle).

Jinx can't even begin to calm herself down, in fact she yells at everyone to shut up, because she needs to think.

Then she hears Ekko’s hoverboard and suddenly the hallucinations are completely gone.

Jinx isn’t sure if what she heard was real or not.

Which is a great detail, since it indicates Jinx is aware that the voices she hears aren’t “real," meaning she knows other people can’t hear them too. So, it's rather telling (at least for me) that she asks Vi to confirm if she too heard the hoverboard sound.

It's also impressive Jinx was able to instantly recognize the sound of Ekko's hoverboard, despite her being in the midst of a mental breakdown and unable to think properly.

It’s almost like Jinx’s brain went into fight mode or something, because seemingly all the hallucinations stopped at once because there’s now a much bigger threat Jinx needs to be on guard for – Ekko is heading her way.

I really can't emphasize how much I love that.

While not traditionally romantic, in any sense, this shows the amount of respect Jinx has towards Ekko and the threat he poses to her. He’s someone she actually has to take seriously when fighting.

Which is a bit unique for Jinx.

Throughout S1 we saw Jinx being far more scared of her hallucinations then actual real, physical threats, but in this moment it’s like her brain recognized Ekko as being the far greater threat than her hallucinations.

Which he is - but that’s also true for many of the other things Jinx faces and isn’t scared of.

Jinx does “glitch out” while fighting Ekko and the Firelights in “When These Walls Come Tumbling Down,” - but it’s more of an asset than a problem, as she easily dodges the Gorilla Mask Firelight (at least I think it’s a gorilla).

Then when Ekko disappears, Jinx's psychoses come rushing back; obviously, this has less to do with Ekko himself and everything to do with him taking Vi, but nonetheless, it's still a slight repetition of the pattern that keeps happening between them.

In "The Boy Savior," during Jinx's bridge fight with Ekko, she once again specifically doesn't experience any hallucinations; even though she was just experiencing them not too long ago.

Mylo was this 'demon' on her back that while she could initially argue against, the more upset she became, the bigger his presence was.

She saw Caitlyn as this devil figure, laughing and mocking her and her psychoses even blocked Vi almost entirely from her sight; whether literally or symbolically, Jinx clearly wasn’t fully aware she was shooting at Vi, despite her obviously seeing Vi and then shooting in her direction.

Then Ekko bursts onto the scene and suddenly no more hallucinations. Which is just...

I honestly don’t know what this is. I really don’t.

To be clear, I absolutely love this whole thing despite not knowing what it is exactly, because honestly, I'm just fascinated by this dynamic, because for whatever reason, Jinx isn't triggered by Ekko nor does she hallucinate him.

In S2, Jinx’s hallucinations have significantly decreased, but in “Paint the Town Blue," she's suddenly bombarded with pretty much everyone’s voices because she’s beyond upset and panicking about Isha being taken by the enforcers.

She sees pretty much everyone - Silco, Vi, Mylo, Claggor, Sevika, and Isha.

Jinx seeing Vi, Sevika, and Isha shows us that she can/does hallucinate people who she knows are alive.

In addition, Isha being one of her hallucinations shows us that Jinx doesn’t need to have negative or even complicated feelings towards someone for them to become a part of her psychoses, as Jinx largely thinks/feels positively towards Isha.

Though it should be noted, the hallucination of Isha isn’t acting aggressive towards Jinx, not like the others are.

Finally, Ekko or Vander are the only two she doesn't hallucinate, but we know Jinx has hallucinated Vander in the past, making Ekko the odd one out when it comes to Jinx's hallucinations once again.

Which for the millionth is absolutely fascinating to me.

Because why?

Why doesn't Ekko trigger Jinx? Why isn't he one of her hallucinations? How come he's the only one we've seen having the ability to stop Jinx's hallucinations altogether (even if it's completely unintentional)?

For whatever reason, Jinx’s mind has seemingly categorized Ekko as being different than everyone else and while it’s obviously not this big thing the show brings your attention to, it’s also clearly there, albeit subtly.

And yeah...

I don’t really have much more to say, I just wanted to talk about this interesting aspect of Timebomb before we get to the last and final arc of Arcane.

[applestorms]

(tw for extensive discussions of dubiously consensual sexual situations, typical to canon. also spoilers for the decay route update)

honestly, one of the most interesting aspects of andrew's psyche that we get to see in the most recent decay route update to me is his nearly unending hesitancy about having sex with ashley, despite both his overwhelming desire to AND her incredibly blasé, Yeah Sure Let's Do It attitude in response to the question.

while the end of the burial route provides some key insight into ashley's point of view regarding this topic (e.g. if you go with the less enthusiastic/more teasing answer to andrew's question of "we're not like that, right? right??"), and the shots & such ending provides even more intrigue into her motivations, i think that decay presents two key reasons as to why andrew has continued to hold back for so long: his two core conflicting desires, and an inability to see ashley as her own full person. notably, both of these parts can easily be connected to his mother's childhood abuse and parentification of him as well.

with regards to the first point: andrew has two main overwhelming desires at the heart of his character that motivate most of his actions, which unfortunately for him are completely incompatible. andrew wants:

to be a normal, average person-- someone who can hold a steady, respectable job, fit in at the block party BBQs, and not attract any negative attention from the neighbors.

to fuck his sister.

to some degree, you could even read the distinction between the two main routes themselves (burial and decay) to be motivated by whether or not andrew can diffuse the tension between these two wants-- in burial, he gives up on his need to fit in with the rest of respectable society, presumably pushing him more towards the fucking-his-sister route; in decay, he struggles significantly to let go of this desire for normalcy, and the stress almost always breaks him. notably, in neither of these routes can he fully give up on the second desire-- really, his relationship with julia and the rest of his life up til the point that ep1 begins has been about him trying and failing to do so, so this makes sense.

(sidenote: i would also like to clarify that i think the Most key distinction between these two routes comes down to the decision you actually have to make to get one or the other-- namely, whether or not the siblings are able to trust one another. but anyways)

this focus on the first desire for normalcy is also interesting in that it seems to be one of the core desires that renee holds as well, as we see her so happily boast about during their interactions in ep2. honestly i could probably write a whole post about how much andrew (consciously or, more often, not) mimics his mother's behavior and takes on her standards and ideals, but the key point to pay attention to here is the fact that andrew has subsumed his mother's viewpoint in such a way that he is either not fully aware of or simply hasn't questioned in all that much depth yet.

we can also see this with the aforementioned parentifiication, which has really interesting consequences on how much andrew does (not) see ashley as her own autonomous person. pretty much every single childhood flashback we get in 3a shows the same terrible cycle:

andrew is told by renee that ashley is His responsibility -> ashley causes problems on purpose -> andrew takes the fall for her

frankly, we don't even really need that first step for andrew to fully internalize the idea that ashley's actions are His to take responsibility for. the horrible consequences of this are also quite obvious: not only is this pressure to take responsibility for someone else's actions an incredibly unfair burden to put on anyone, much less a kid, but it also continually pushes andrew to see ashley as something less than human, or as little more than an extension of himself rather than her own person.

the main conflict in decay really comes down to this conflicting desire between the two of them, where what both andrew and ashley want above all else is Complete and Utter control over the other-- andrew wanting control because he has again been groomed to see ashley as his full responsibility, and ashley wanting control to assuage her own insecurities and fears about being isolated and hated forever. the more sympathetic throughline underlying a lot of this is that what both of them seem to want is safety, to protect both themselves and each other from any and all situations outside of their control-- though, unfortunately, a lot of times those exact external situations are simply the other acting on this mirrored desire for control lol.

anyways, going back to the sex thing-- since andrew doesn't see ashley as her own person, since he sees her as incapable of taking responsibility for her own actions and therefore as someone who cannot make decisions for herself, due in large part to him automatically transferring this burden to himself, andrew also sees ashley's consent as essentially meaningless.

the more sympathetic reading here is that andrew does genuinely want ashley to be at least kinda into it as more than a manipulation tactic/transactional thing-- but i think it's also equally likely that andrew simply doesn't want to have to once again shoulder the full burden of Committing Incest on his own, and he doesn't trust ashley to ever be even capable of taking the fall for her own actions. the fact that andrew still ultimately sees ashley as Leyley and NEVER as Ashley Proper (as he himself recognizes at one point) really just reinforces this to me. he says it himself-- he practically raised this woman. and in this case, even above all others, ashley's actions are quite literally also his own. it all goes back to that initial mistrust, and he carries that resentment with him even after they get around to actually doing it. mutually dubious consent, truly in-fucking-deed.

[harmonysanreads]

Idk if you saw but Phainon apparently has a hobby in appraising antiques. Just imagine if for his partner he fondly refers to them as his greatest or most priceless treasure. Though on the other hand, it certainly gives "dragon coveting its hoard" kinda vibes. Possibly romantic depending on who you ask, but it speaks volumes of how much he cherishes them.

Yup I've seen his shenanigans regarding this and I must thank you because, I feel like this is a great opportunity to discuss how possessive Phainon can be.

The idea seems contradictory to what Aglaea and Tribbie have told us about him — he's selfless, willingly takes on more burden than he should and pushes himself constantly to meet that image of a ‘perfect vessel’ in order to protect Amphoreus. The term possessiveness should be absolutely unthinkable to be put in the same sentence as his name. Such a noble hero couldn't possibly be... selfish, right?

Phainon himself battles with these doubts, well, it would be more precise to say that he's the one who thinks about it the most out of anyone living in Amphoreus.

The first time he notices the evidences of that particular behavior, it has to be pointed out by someone ; you, one of his comrades or just a random person. Phainon relies on external validation to a degree, his sense of self can be altered through a strong enough comment on his personality.

The process of it developing isn't different from how it would be for anyone ; an attachment to you is secured, outside influences threaten it, he realizes a need to be in your presence more, becomes annoyed when your attention is stolen until it reaches to a point where he's actively trying to maintain it on himself alone. But the thing is, he's so swept up in all the emotions of being in love that he doesn't stop to process them all for quite some time. That's why an external call out is required.

Perhaps it would've been best if no one pointed it out to begin with, because now he's simmering in guilt and shame in his head. The Chrysos Heir is notably rigid for some time, mulling over his every action and word until he's caught in analysis paralysis. Because even if he'd like to convince himself that he's nonchalant, he cares about how you perceive him, a lot.

At the same time as this inner turmoil almost frying him, there is no notable change in his paranoia — if anything, it gets worse. The more he tries to test distance and respect for your personal time and space, the more his anxiety worsens, suddenly devoid of a medium to soothe it with. Two greeting texts increases to ten, phone calls are no longer enough, he needs to see that you're okay and safe.

At one point, a sinister thought somehow plants itself in his mind. He's lost so much ; his home, his family, his friends, his peace and his identity. But he continues sacrificing more, he continues giving up things for the sake of others, for a future marked by uncertainty. Now that there is someone who makes him happy, who he finds solace in, who he genuinely loves... he's demanded again to ‘tone it down’ when all he wants is to spend time with them? Is that not unfair to him?

And well, he brushes it off quickly — not that it completely goes away. These ideas only really torment him when he's not with you, which is another reason why separation will have a physical effect on him if it is extended to a point. Which direction all these inner conflicts and overthinking will take him towards, depends on him alone.

As for the ‘evidences’ mentioned previously, they're so him that it's honestly difficult to tell whether he's being driven by something less than innocent. He usually tends to whine and sulk to prolong your presence, gives you the doe eyes and kicked puppy look. There is also the matter with texts and calls as mentioned previously. He responds to your texts very quickly and tries to keep conversations going for as long as possible, low-key spirals if you're taking too long to respond and insists on hearing your voice, unless you tell him strongly that you aren't comfortable with it.

Is not afraid of showing physical affection in public, likes holding hands and/or linking arms with you at all times. Uses his height to his advantage as well, as in, serving as your personal shield — whether you want it or not. He doesn't really lash out at people, unless of course, they were rude to you. Given his naturally amicable personality, most people don't try to do something outrageous in front of him either. His jealousy is kind of obvious as well and since he tends to use the ‘kicked puppy method’ frequently, it can be difficult to take it seriously, to be honest. Make sure to not let your guard down though.

As for the matter of him calling you his treasure, I personally like to think that he sees his darling as above him, above everyone actually. Treasure implies towards something that was acquired and typically has a material value. Phainon is out there thanking fate and every holy being everyday for blessing him with someone like you, he struggles to even answer the question of ‘what he likes most about you’ (it's everything). He might say it out of affection in the spur of a moment once, but in his heart, your worth exceeds the notion of treasures.

[ldrfanatic]

Crawl Home to Her

Theodore Nott x Fem!Reader synopsis - you and theo had always been enemies and you thought he hated you until you found out that he loves you so much it hurts; lowkey just quite a bit of fluff lol; enemies to lovers; both theo and y/n come from death eater families and they both have the dark mark.

slytherin boys masterlist works

part two here

Inspired by Work Song by Hozier

"What do you want, Nott?" Your voice rang out and broke the silence of the moonlit hallway.

Theodore Nott had always been your enemy. Since the moment the two of you arrived at Hogwarts, you'd always hated each other. No exceptions. He pulled on the ends of your hair in potions, he mocked you in Defense Against the Dark Arts, and he sent stupid little notes to you in Transfigurations that conveniently burned up before you got the chance to read them.

So, yes, Theodore Nott was your enemy.

Which is why you were so surprised to hear his footsteps following you. Especially when he should be in the Slytherin Common Room enjoying the huge winter party they'd thrown.

"Couldn't sleep?"

His smooth baritone voice contrasted your airy one. Still, you couldn't decipher if he was asking you or fumbling for an excuse.

Theodore Nott was cool, calm, collected. You'd learned that much over the years. He didn't need excuses or reasons and he didn't bother to explain himself. It honestly took you by surprise when he answered your question at all.

The first time that you and Theo got into it was the second week of class in your second year. He'd never been particularly kind to you, but he hadn't been rude either. Well, until then. You'd taken to being friends with Pansy Parkinson, a fellow second year in Slytherin who had the largest crush on another Slytherin second year, Blaise Zabini. Blaise often hung out with Theo, who you'd known from first-year, and two other boys you didn't meet until that year, Draco Malfoy and Mattheo Riddle.

The boys teased Pansy relentlessly and you stuck up for her as often as you could. Unfortunately, that seemed to paint a big target on your back and caused them to turn their mischievous acts towards you as well.

As you and Pansy were walking towards the Great Hall for lunch one day, Theodore came rushing by with the rest of their little entourage and drop a few dung bombs on the pair of you. It shouldn't have angered you to the point you felt it necessary to start a never ending feud with the boy, but it embarrassed your little 12 year old self to an irredeemable point.

You turned swiftly on the ball of your heel and faced him. He was wrapped up in his winter robes. A green and silver scarf with the initials TN was wrapped snugly against his neck but provided no protection for his reddening nose.

It was then that you took note of how cold it was in the corridor. The castle often got drafty at night, especially in the winter, and here you were, in nothing but a school skirt and thin sweater. You could still hear the roaring sounds of laughter emanating from the dungeons.

Theodore held your gaze with a pensive stare before taking a few testing steps closer to you.

"You're going to get cold, Y/n."

His use of your first name took you by notable surprise but you masked it the best that you could. It was now year six of having known Theodore Nott. Of having known his family and their affiliations. You caught a brief sight of the black ink on his left arm as he unwrapped his scarf and tugged it around your neck. The image of the dark mark made your stomach swirl, all too familiar with the itching of your own tattoo in precisely the same part of your arm.

The damn thing had, after all, been the object of your frustrations since your mother so kindly gave it to you this past summer. As you remembered the excruciating pain, you stared into Theo's eyes. Something about the thought of him enduring the sort of pain you remember it being makes your stomach twist in a weird way. Sure, you'd known the boy for years, but the same was also true of Draco Malfoy, and you didn't feel this uncomfortable twisting when you caught glimpses of his dark mark.

"Go away." When Theo made no intention of leaving, you turned back towards the large glass window and allowed your voice to crack with emotion. "Please."

The sound of his retreating footsteps echoed down the hall. The laughter got louder as he opened the door to the common room, and then finally, quiet again.

There was only one time that you got the inclination that Theodore Nott may not hate you entirely. Fifth year at Hogwarts was quite unpleasant for pretty much every Slytherin student. After Cedric Diggory's death, Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, and even Hufflepuff had taken to casually terrorizing Slytherin students in the halls. Whether that be ganging up to hex them or sneering at them from across classrooms.

Unfortunately, you'd found yourself in one of those situations. You'd asked to be excused from Potions to use the restroom. Yet, when you'd finished your business and began to exit, a group of three boys cornered you in the hallway. One of them, you recognized as Cormac McLaggen who asked you out the year before and was clearly still butt hurt about your albeit respectful rejection.

"Well, well, boys. Look what we have here," He stepped away from his sidekicks and caged you against the stone wall. You felt your discomfort growing as his face neared yours. "The little Slytherin bitch who thinks she's too good for everyone else." He laughed disgustingly and began getting closer until his body pressed yours against the brick.

"Tell me something, Y/n. When your parents pimp you out to all the other little Death Eaters, do all your nasty little friends get to touch you like this?" Cormac's words caused bile to crawl up your throat. He reached his hand out to touch you but before he could, a throat cleared only a few meters to the left. You thanked every God you could think of. For once, you were happy to see Theodore Nott's smug little face.

Only, he didn't look smug right now. Right now, he looked ready to send Cormac McLaggen into the afterlife. Painfully. "McLaggen, I swear on every life in this castle, if you touch her, it will be the last thing you ever do." Cormac was an arrogant prick, but even he knew better than to fuck with a Death Eater's son in these times. He didn't say a word to either of you as he took his sidekicks and all but ran from the scene.

You would have been touched. If it hadn't been for the fact that Theo immediately turned away from you before you had the chance to thank him and hadn't spoken to you since that day.

You snapped from your memories when a soft hand grabbed yours. Your head whipped around only to be met with the blinding smile of Pansy. Admittedly, she'd grown up quite pretty over the years. It was no wonder Blaise finally pulled his head out of his arse long enough to finally start dating her.

"Come on, Y/n. The party's pretty much over. Now it's just the rest of us. It's cold."

You let Pansy lead you back to the common room thankful when she didn't question the scarf around your neck. Your relief was short lived. As soon as you were within sight of the group, Mattheo whistled lowly. He opened his mouth like he meant to say something but a look from Theo left the boy smirking into his drink. You noted from his droopy bloodshot eyes that Theodore Nott was intoxicated. In fact, everyone was. Except for you. And of course, Hermione Granger who sat on the floor tucked into a smiling Draco Malfoy's side.

You were proud that you'd been the one to knock some sense into his head. For once, the boy did something for himself.

Mattheo's stare lingered on you before glancing to Theo and then back down to his drink again. "Perfect timing, Y/n. We were just deciding what to do." The thing to know about Mattheo Riddle is that he liked to cause chaos. He was, in that sense alone, his father's son. He especially loved when that chaos causing was directed at his favorite person to toy with. Theodore Nott. The pair had been best friends, practically attached at the hip since first year.

Mattheo Riddle was the only person in the room that knew of Theo's irrepressible love for you.

"I have the perfect idea." He stood on his place on the dark green couch and grabbed your wrist gently. He offered a smile as he lead you back to sit next to him. Conveniently, also right next to Theo.

"Now that the whole gang is here, I hear that our little Theo has a crush. Seeing as we pestered Draco endlessly until he finally found dear Granger over there, it only seems fair that Theo receive the same treatment." Draco made a loud noise of agreement before being shushed quietly by Hermione.

At this point, everyone had agreed and Theo was too intoxicated to stop them. You pushed down the panging in your heart at the idea of Theo liking someone and nodded numbly with the others, attempting to force a smile.

Mattheo's voice rang out again. "Afterall, Theo here is most honest without pesky inhibitions of being sober to get in the way."

Again, you tried to ignore the twisting in your stomach. Hermione, ever the curious cat was the first to speak up.

"When did you start liking her?"

Theo sat quietly for so long you were convinced he was going to ignore the group entirely before he finally spoke up.

"Right after I got my dark mark at the start of fifth year. My sleeves rolled up a little and she saw it. After dear old dad gave it to me, I'd kind of lost all will to even try anymore. Not to mention that my body had not reacted kindly to it. I was burning up a fever. I didn't care much how long I lived. But she was so kind. She didn't judge me. She just smiled and waved."

Your gaze burned into the side of Theo's head. Not only had you never heard him so raw and honest, you'd also never even known he was feeling this way. It made you wonder how much practice the boy had with masking his emotions. Pansy shifted uncomfortably and bounced softly on her arm chair.

"My turn! Is it a friend?"

Theo hummed and took a swig of the drink in his hand. You had half a mind to snatch the bottle and drag the poor boy to bed, but you didn't want to be on the receiving end of his discontent.

"You could say that."

Draco made a noise at his clipped answer but Blaise cut in quickly. The excitement seemed to have finally spread throughout the whole party while Mattheo watched on with a disturbingly intense look.

"You said she didn't judge you for the mark. Does that mean she's a Slytherin? A death eater even?"

Hermione shifted uncomfortably at the open talk of the dark mark but Draco's arm tightened protectively around her shoulders. He placed a chaste kiss on the side of her temple that had her body relaxing into his. The type of affection you found yourself craving for.

"I thought I dreamed her. She never asked me once about the wrong I did. Even for a Slytherin that's uncommon. Everyone wants to know. They want all the details."

Recognition passed over Mattheo's face. A look mirrored by both you and Draco. Being the children of such prominent dark figures, all four of you were familiar with the inquiries that Theo was referencing.

Finally, Draco got his opportunity to ask his question.

"Why not just talk to her then? If she's so understanding?"

Theo didn't answer. He stared at the blonde boy for a few tense moments before laughing humorlessly to himself.

"She hates me, man. I know it. I've terrorized her for years." His eyes welled up but he pushed the tears back by draining the rest of the bottle in his hand. "She's too kind for the fucked up person that I am. It hurts knowing that even when I try to be good, she can only think of me as the stupid Nott boy that's been making fun of her since first year."

Air seemed to leave every pair of lungs in the room as the attention shifted to you. A quiet accusation whispered through the air with no one brave enough to actually voice it. It didn't need to be said.

Theo purposefully kept his circle small after his father's torture over the years. There was only one girl that he'd consistently paid half a mind to at all since fourth year. You.

Theodore Nott was in love with you.

Your thoughts were confirmed when Mattheo's eyes met yours with a wink. Even further when you finally took note of all of the signs. He hadn't looked at you this whole time. He called you Y/n in the hall. In fact, now that you thought about it, he'd been calling you Y/n all year. He blew notes to you in class. He even dropped a messily wrapped present on your desk claiming it was from a secret admirer.

That alone hadn't made sense. Inside the box was a pendant that you'd seen walking in Hogsmeade with only the group of people sitting in this room. You hadn't even mentioned you wanted it.

But your gaze lingered on the piece for long enough that Theo knew he was going to buy the pendant for you.

A pendant that rested against your collarbone right now.

Suddenly, the room felt too small. The pendant was heavy on your collarbone. You could feel everyone's eyes on you but you were staring at Theo who'd taken a sudden interest in every other damn thing in the room. The group waited with baited breath before Mattheo broke the silence.

"Tsk. Theodore." He fixed an unnerving stare on you that had you subconsciously shifting a little closer to the dark haired boy on your other side. "With the war coming. You should tell her. I mean, come on. With your father's affiliations who knows what might happen to you. Either of you."

Theo's head shot up and in his drunken state, he wasn't watching how he spoke to the Dark Lord's son. Like at all.

"I don't give a damn, Mattheo. Fuck my father and his cowardly bullshit. I would burn every square inch of this planet to keep her alive." His voice was deadly serious. It didn't waver, it didn't raise. He was cool, calm, collected. Like Theodore Nott always was. For once, his eyes lit with emotion. Blazed, in fact.

You were caught by surprise when his eyes snapped towards yours. His stare was compelling. No matter how much you willed yourself to look away, his eyes pinned you. Your hand reached towards the pendant of it's own accord. His voice startled you. "As far as what might happen to me, when my time comes around, I don't care if you dump my body into the deepest ocean or lay me gently in the cold, dark earth. No grave could hold my body down, I'll crawl home to her."

His eyes never left yours. You stared up at him for a few moments trying to decipher the look on his face. You realized with a start that none other than Theodore Nott was looking at you like he would throw everything away to kiss you right now. Like you were the only thing that mattered.

Cheers erupted from around you as you threw your arms around Theo's neck and smashed your lips against his. And there was no part of your brain that disagreed with him. There was not a bone in your body that had any intention other than giving Theodore Nott exactly what he wanted. All of you.

WC - 2681

[sysig]

Some scribbles :) (Patreon)

[celtrist]

GOOD END

While I know it's a little late, I needed something to practice watercolor with quickly, and I didn't want to end the little event on a sad note! Kept it vague with the "fin." since this pic could honestly just be normal Alastor haha

So let's give Alastor a happy ending, hm?

The curse is lifted but Alastor still finds it difficult. To go from being on edge from the watchful eyes of anyone who passes him to no one batting an eye is hard to grasp sometimes. Alastor still jots in his notebook the new habits of those he's around, he still checks the time frequently with his trusty pocketwatch, and he still keeps as far away from Vox as he can. However, Alastor sleeps more soundly now.

Everyone was quite aghast when their minds cleared. Charlie tries to constantly make it up to Alastor with gifts and things to do for him, which does the opposite effect due to that being not too dissimilar to what she did when she was obsessed. Vaggie's distrust of Alastor is more prevalent than any sort of affection for him, but she generally tries to keep herself away from Alastor. Her stomach never sits right around him, seeing the subtle frantic gaze of his eyes and knowing it was in part due to her. Due to the traps, the forced dressings. Just the forcefulness of her obsessed half unnerves her as a whole. While she doesn't exactly like Alastor, she also can't stand what she had done to him. She tries to pretend it didn't happen until Alastor confronts her at some point.

Angel Dust tries to stay casual with Alastor but backs off when Alastor clearly needs it. And he pushes others, really just Charlie, to back off when Alastor is looking overwhelmed. Angel is still a bit awkward around Alastor, having the same issue as Vaggie and feeling unwell about drugging him. But unlike Vaggie, Angel is willing to push past it and try to make a new friendship with Alastor if he'd welcome it (or at least acquaintanceship). Husk is definitely left with mixed feelings. He obviously doesn't like Alastor due to the man's treatment of Husk before and after the curse was broken. But he can't help but feel like shit for what he was doing to Alastor when he was obsessed. He tells himself Alastor probably deserved it because of how crappy he treats him and due to how sick in the head Alastor is overall anyway. But it always comes back to the feeling that Husk can't quite absolve his actions. He was the type to despise spiking drinks and to top on it all the other shit Alastor had to deal with? Husk doesn't like it, but he had to admit he was guilty and even sorry for what he did. He doesn't make that known to Alastor though, lest he has more fuel to taunt Husk with. Even if in reality he probably could do with a confidence boost. Husk and Angel also have a better relationship. The thing that made them heated with each other is now the thing they bond over. They each talk out their frustrations of what they did and keep an eye on each other if they see the other falling back to old habits.

Niffty on the surface seemed relatively unaffected. She giggles at what Alastor went through and expressed jealousy about having "all the bad boys" after him. Niffty does dust off Alastor a lot more now. Especially after someone touches him. She also doesn't climb onto Alastor like she used to. She asks him for permission a lot more for cleaning his room, touching him, and so on. Lucifer keeps away even more than Vaggie. He practically lived in his tower. It wasn't until ALASTOR was the one coming to him that Lucifer began actually coming back out. Of course Charlie visited to try and encourage him out, but Lucifer didn't want to even be in the same hallway as Alastor due to the guilt he felt. Due to this, Alastor ended up just coming into Lucifer's room unannounced to escape the others (most notably the too apologetic Charlie). No one would expect him in Lucifer's room, so that's where he went. And since Lucifer HAPPENED to be in his room, Alastor might as well rant about any annoyances he has or vent things out. Needless to say, they actually have quite the companionship now. While they still have gripes with each other, Alastor and Lucifer will willingly stand next to each other. Alastor still is hesitant to go full jabbing mode and does still reel in their fighting quite a bit. A habit that hasn't quite gone away from the curse. Lucifer, on the other hand, while can get into it in the heat of the moment, is a bit hesitant to be harsh with Alastor. Since the curse was lifted, Lucifer went from one of his least favorite hotel residents to the one he probably spends the most time with.

Rosie of course feels just awful about what she'd done. Any lunches done, they either go out or Alastor makes the lunch. She fusses over him still, which always leaves Alastor stiffer than comforted. When she does notice him feeling under the weather, Alastor is very quick to brush it off as nothing in such a way that it clearly indicates it's something. Rosie tries to keep to Alastor's comfort but also is definitely one of the few that isn't particularly afraid to push his comfort zone. Both Valentino and Velvette were annoyed. Valentino was upset that Alastor had the power to make even the moth obsessed with him, and he didn't even GET the chance to have even a peck on the lips from the dumb deer. While Valentino isn't nearly as interested in Alastor, he's not blind- Well, he can see well enough that Alastor is appealing visually. So he's not nearly as disgusted as Velvette about having been obsessed with him. Velvette was disgusted about having been obsessed with Alastor because he's a "dusty bitch" as it were. He's old news, obsolete, and she acted like a fool that anyone could've had an inkling of a chance to see. Disgust and embarrassment sum up her feelings, and she makes it known when she sees Alastor.

Vox... doesn't take it all well. He's frustrated and can't help but blame Alastor as if he had control of the curse. He hates him. And he blames him for the stupid feelings that STILL are there. Everything is so scrambled for him. He feels guilty, but at the same time doesn't. He refuses to feel guilt for Alastor. Even when they were "friends", Vox could remember how Alastor still seemed to think he was above him. But then, Vox had absolutely toyed with Alastor who was more or less isolated. He had wanted to do things that, while he's not exactly opposed of others doing them, he himself wasn't exactly interested in doing. Vox decided it's easier to be mad at Alastor than feel remorse and disgust with himself. When they cross paths, he's very cold to Alastor. He wants to relish how he sees Alastor clutch his staff tighter when they have eye contact, or just Vox being in the same room has Alastor moving closer to anybody else. Like he'd rather take his chances with anybody as long as it wasn't Vox. But when he tries to be pleased, something just isn't clicking and instead his head gets fuzzy and he feels like his insides need to come out. So he gives Alastor very little time of day. Maybe a few words or glances, but overall doesn't even give Alastor a cocky smile or sneer. Just an impassive look.

Despite the curse being gone, there are the occasional lapses. Particularly with those Alastor spends the most time with. All the hotel residents try to keep each other in check, Husk and Angel, for example, catching the other if they're falling back to drugging Alastor. Vaggie might see a dress and buy it, planning a way to put it on Alastor before catching herself and burning it. Charlie will hit her head telling herself to stop the obsessive thinking, sometimes to the point of hurting herself because she CAN'T put her friend through that again. On the rare occasion, it won't be caught in time. Angel Dust has successfully drugged Alastor and not long after went to get help in a panic. Alastor frequently gets more paranoid again about the curse not actually being gone and generally more cagey for a few days, especially around the person who did it. The residents try to help the best they can. These lapses aren't frequent enough to be like an everyday problem but will vary from person to person. Generally speaking, these lapses are luckily pretty short and generally don't get as far as a thought or a small subconscious action.

And despite everything, Keekee still doesn't like him. Something Alastor finds quite funny as well as comforting. While he's grateful for the curse to be gone, it still lingers here and there. And it's done damage to Alastor, he knows this in the way he can't relax, the nightmares that plague him. And sometimes he wished the curse wasn't lifted. That his nightmares and behavior were "still justifiable". That they weren't "unreasonable" now. But Keekee is the same. Disliking to kinda tolerating him when he needs the pity, the same as before. Everyone else in the hotel thinks it's odd that Alastor's smile gets wider when Keekee growls at him as he picks her up, or when she hisses and runs off from him. But they don't question it. It's the least they can do.

Alastor himself despises the pity he sees in their eyes sometimes. He hates the paranoia he still feels about it, the fear that the curse is gone was actually a dream or something momentary. And the lapses don't help much. But Alastor continues on as best he can, trying to play the confident radio demon he's touted about as for all his years. He relishes the fear in people's eyes but falls back on habits like the aforementioned noting down everyone's habits and schedules in his notebook and keeping up with the time. But he also still flirts like he used to when he thinks it's needed and gets embarrassed when it doesn't work or someone points out he doesn't need to do it. He was so used to working around and using the curse to his advantage that now those tactics are kind of pointless. He still has a difficult time taking a stroll and not feeling eyes on him constantly, and can be on edge for a sudden suitor to pop up. But he does relish the lack of attention and adoration when he can get past that anxiety. Alastor often has to talk himself through walking out of his room, assuring himself he wasn't going to get swarmed by unwanted advances. He still has days of isolation and feeling alone, moments of sudden irritation and times where the idea of doing his radio show sounds more unappealing. He has moments of insomnia or refusing sleep, just to avoid any nightmares. This often leads the other residents sort of lead him to bed or let him sleep in their presence (unintentionally by Alastor most of the time). And sometimes Alastor's feelings are overwhelming that he can feel a bit detached and just sits and tries to feel his surroundings to ground himself. He still suffers from the curse in a sense, but he's also become a lot more open to spending time with others in the hotel than before. Willing to have more bonds. He's more playful than before, but does usually keep his distance still. And while he does have a jolt in his posture if he gets hugged or touched suddenly, the stillness does pass not too long after. Alastor, strangely enough, is a lot more empathetic in a sense. He'll still laugh when he sees someone fall down the stairs, but he will also actually help and make sure they're okay. It's more notably seen with the guilt others have. He confronts each of them about it at one point and comforts them, in his own way. He doesn't sugarcoat things and tends to be a bit harsh, but Alastor certainly has a strange level of compassion (if you can call it that) you wouldn't expect from him. This is a more subtle change to him, but still prevalent nonetheless (and one Charlie is very proud about). He doesn't like it being pointed out though and will go out of his way to be awful if it DOES get pointed out. The fear from others has helped Alastor so much in regaining any confidence he may have lost, and is something he thrives with. He probably tries to use fear more than ever as a tactic to get what he wants, especially when he catches himself falling back to previous tactics of flirting. And when he can and under the right circumstances, Alastor is able to relax his muscles and end the day with a genuine smile on his face.

One thing Alastor feels quite dissatisfied with this story is the loose end. He never was able to find the anonymous caller. While it wasn't perfect, Alastor had very few outlets of actual companionship. He had his shadows (whose own sentience were put into a bit of question), Keekee (on the basis of her disliking him), and a random caller. It was by chance really. The phone in his room rang and he happened to answer. And he very quickly (and embarrassingly) became attached when he realized they weren't affected. At least, he figured, due to not actually properly meeting Alastor. So they kept in contact without giving names to one another. But the caller stopped calling at some point, leading to Alastor to just sit by his phone waiting for hours. Not one of his proudest moments, but it was a moment of weakness. As soon as the curse was lifted, Alastor had made it a personal goal of finding this mysterious phone friend. He was positively elated with the idea of meeting them face to face, as phone calls only filled so much of his need for socializing. Alas, the anonymous caller seemed to have disappeared. Alastor keeps looking, but he's not sure if something happened to them or, on the off chance, he had just imagined all the calls. He still takes the time to sit by the phone though. Just in case.

[luneariaa]

ᯓ★٠ ࣪⭑ 'BEST FRIEND.' ✧ KENJI S.

✰ — you and kenji being besties ( depends on how u guys see it ), reader is female based, pet names.

✰ — my first time trying to write for him bc omg the brainrot over this guy is too real,, 😭💜 also kinda bad i deeply apologize aa;;

— ✩ m. list.

. dividers by @/saradika-graphics !! ⚾

BEING best friends with KENJI SATO for years ever since your high school days, the two of you surely have your own differences in a way, especially in terms of personality. You didn't even know on how you managed to be friends with him still, but you're always grateful for it, nonetheless.

For all the years, you remained by his side; even supporting him in anything he decided to do, and as the star player for the Los Angeles Dodgers in the Major League Baseball team. He won quite innumerable number of awards, thanks to his amazing performance on field, and has gained lots of fans all around the world, notably for some of the ladies who swooned over his mere appearance.

You're well-aware of his current popularity and position, but still— you tried your best to be supportive all the time, even when sometimes your thoughts are trying to drag you back negatively about yourself.

As sweet as you can be, you can still be quite of a reclused person than he is; as he ever told you before.

Kenji is always known to be quite the opposite from you— all confident and sociable to others in the public eye, often recognized to be quite the charmer as well. His overall presence has a major undeniable effect to most others without fail.

Yet, despite of all the fame he has, there surely are certain times where he actually felt lonely, even when surrounded by millions of people who actually adored him.

But knowing about your mere existence staying by his side despite everything; it makes him feel cherished and appreciated. Kenji is glad to have you, no matter on what he's doing and wherever he is at that moment.

WITH the random novel in your hands, you have decided to read for a bit while waiting for him to finish up at your usual secluded spot— not too far from where he currently is, and pretty much a spot where only the two of you knew.

A few minutes have passed by, he finally arrives at the said area and seemingly searching for any signs of you, to which you didn't even notice since you're too engrossed with the book at the moment. Being hounded by countless of paparazzi and fans surely can be so overwhelming— he's just glad to be able to make it out from there.

In spite of his somewhat exhausted appearance, a small smile manages to make its' way to his lips once his eyes landed upon your seated figure nearby.

"Finally," he reaches towards closer as to where you are, immediately getting your attention up from the book you've been reading. "I found you."

"Hey too, star boy."

You eventually closed the book and put it aside, allowing him to sit on the vacant spot properly next to you with a grin on your face. "Yeah, you found me."

Kenji may not admit it every so often, but he honestly could never get enough with the way you called him— chuckling while doing some little stretches here and there before sitting next to you.

"Oh man, it's so tiring to deal with those interviewers and people around almost all the time, y'know." He mutters with a weary-sounding sigh, resting the back of his head against the wall behind him.

"I mean, obviously it makes me happy to know that there's quite a lot of people who supported me and stuff, but they can be a real pain in the ass to deal with." He shakes his head slightly over his own words that held the mere truth, which made you feel genuinely bad for him.

"I get you," you responded, leaning your head against the wall as well. "It sounds super exhausting to handle."

"It sure is."

"I guess that's just the way it is, if anything." He then rests his chin on the palm of his hand, which situated just right atop of his left knee while he stares off at the distance.

The feeling of people swooning and admiring him sure sounds so nice, but it doesn't really get rid of the feeling of loneliness that he has to experience at times.

"They just adored the persona I've shown to the world, not the real me."

You somehow get what he's implying, even when he seemed as if he wanted to sound at least a bit jokey, to which didn't really work on you. You could see right through him.

"Well, if it helps.." Unsure on what to say, but this needed to be done because clearly, he looks like he needs one.

"You have me." You genuinely reassured him, "I just hope that you won't ever forget that."

Your words alone have an instant effect on him— managing to draw out an appreciative smile upon his features instead of his usual cocky look that he presented to others.

"Of course I won't. I'll hold onto your words."

He could tell the truthfulness behind every word you've said to him; suddenly shifting his gaze around to face you, before pulling you into a warm hug— keeping his arms wrapped around your torso and burying his face into the crook of your neck unexpectedly, much to your own surprise.

It's one of the usual gestures that you would do with each other, so you don't know as to why this time, it feels a little different somehow, but you didn't push him away at all.

Instead, you returned the embrace while stroking the back of his hair tenderly, accompanied with a quiet hum. Your actions alone have prompted him to smile against your neck further— finding it all soothing and relaxing, nuzzling into your warmth.

"You give the best hugs, I swear." Kenji audibly murmurs, which made the specific area on your neck to feel more ticklish than usual.

"Oh really?" A giggle escaped from you due to the ticklish sensation, which causes him to merely smirk in pure delight. "I feel honored."

Kenji begin to point out, lifting his head slightly and not entirely just yet. "I almost forgot that you're quite ticklish here."

"Shut up, you tease." You huffed with a playful eyeroll, shoving him off backwards from you a bit. "You know damn well I do."

It's easier to act all carefree when no one else is around you both to interrupt any moment you're having.

He simply laughs it off, still remaining on his seated spot despite your attempts of pushing him away from you. "Your reactions are priceless."

The baseball star player swiftly returns into doing on what he previously did— embracing you even more, holding you so delicately within his strong arms alone.

Kenji doesn't even know on what's driving him to do any of this for much longer than intended. His thoughts are going a bit haywire, yet it made him feel comfortable in a way as well. Confused, but unbothered to figure it out himself for now.

You didn't really mind though. It felt too nice, in all honesty; simply reciprocating his actions without any signs of hesitation.

"You did amazing, by the way."

When the moment those words left from your lips, it managed to pull him out of his own reverie; pulling away slightly just so he can face you with an evident grin upon his sharp features.

"Thanks, sweetheart."

"I was thinking of doing a mini celebration tonight."

"Oh?" You returned the expression that he's currently giving you. "Am I invited, then?"

He nodded almost instantly with a warm chuckle out of him, ruffling your hair despite your possible incoming protests.

"Of course you're invited, silly girl. Always will."

"You'd make everything more fun, and you're the only one who knows how to keep this bad boy in check, after all."

You merely and purposedly snorted out loud upon his words— rolling your eyes comically before pinching his cheeks all of a sudden, which caught him off guard.

"Not so bad when I do it to you like this."

"Okay— hey hey, stop that-!" He begins to sputter out complaints due to your actions, pouting as you didn't even try to stop from doing so. His hands are not helping anything either, which makes the situation more funnier than intended.

Despite everything he did, Kenji almost looked like a whiny puppy within your perspective.

It doesn't take long before the both of you ended up, quite literally, falling off from your seats though.

"Ouch.."

"It's your fault, geez.."

"Well, I love you too."

@luneariaa. do not repost; reblogs are welcomed. all rights reserved.

[saintshadow]

NATAL Moon - Uranus aspect observations in the Natal Chart.

Blurring the line between Psychic Prowess, and utterly Divine Madness 🌚⚡

I've noticed that people who have harsh Uranus/moon aspects or moon conjunct Uranus esp if it's harshly aspected by a malefic tend to have a target on their back socially, ESPECIALLY in childhood. Like everything they do or say just pisses off the family or causes authority figures to lash out in some harsh or restrictive way- which never bodes well for anyone involved. Because moon - Uranus people will in fact drag their dissenters and the people abusing their authority against them to hell alongside them. These are people who psychologically torture authority, both intentionally and unintentionally depending on the scenario. They respond very negatively to having their freedom and self expression infringed upon especially if it's being done so unfairly.

I've also noticed that harsh moon-uranus aspects can look like a violent swing between constant over and understimulation. Finding a happy medium can be difficult, and when they aren't regulated the outbursts are volatile & intense.

If you have this aspect in your chart, feeling understood is very important. You have an almost magnetic need to stand out— and you generally WILL stand out whether you're trying to or not. You’re a natural-born truth-seeker.

Growing up, these natives question everything, and usually don't mind questioning or correcting others. Theres not usually a huge respect for authority either, and these natives have no problem challenging those who abuse their social power. They may even thrive on this dynamic, it's always very much "fuck the system".

While Uranus isn't a trauma marker, it does bring a lot of tension. Those with this aspect often feel like outsiders, like they don’t quite fit in; or they are intentionally singled out & ostracized. I've met a lot of people with moon - uranus who have been primarily targeted by teachers and authority as well. You also have the "popular loner" archetype which I tend to ascribe more commonly to Aquarius SUNS—everyone likes you, but you still feel like you’re living on a different planet.

People with strong Uranus energy often come from families that seem perfect on the outside, or at least very *different* from them. They can also come from families with shocking histories or have notable ancestors/ancestry. There can be sudden deaths, psychic and spiritual phenomena, (and sometimes autism LMAO don't come for me).

Sudden endings and deaths, sporadic change, and a difficult relationship with comfort. The moon is all about our creature comforts & the presence of Uranus can really strip this away from the native. It can feel like grasping at straws trying to soothe or comfort the onslaught of volatile emotion & psychic intensity.

A lot of unpredictable events and insane prophecies come with this placement. It's easy to feel detached from everyone including yourself & dissociative + personality disorders have the potential to brew here for sure.

At times you can feel like the antithesis to social normalcy, and as if your innate being causes nothing but chaos & trouble.

It's unsurprising that many with Moon-Uranus end up being generational cycle/curse breakers & tend to be highly detached from the family. There can be a desire to be freed from one's own ancestry, or to escape the family norm.

Living authentically is a non-negotiable for these folks. It’s just in their DNA. Trying to suppress it is literally like eating glass— being forced to perform or show up inauthentically can be legitimately painful & cause extreme emotional and physical dysregulation.

This is thought to be an aspect that leads to hysterical outbursts, but in my observation it's usually a stimulation issue. Which honestly, I think is one of the biggest lifelong difficulties of this aspect. What other people may see as hysteria or volatility may actually be psychic overload.

Regardless of whether or not other people see it, this is a highly gifted and PROPHETIC placement. They see into the future & have the ability to intuitively read other people's minds.

Think gifted in the sense of telepathy, telekinesis, and even manipulating electromagnetic energy.

Uranus has a "futuristic knowing” that really boosts the already psychic nature of the moon.

Uranus also brings duality, and these folks intrinsically understand this universal llaw. With the right support, these individuals can become powerful manifestors, using their deep understanding of reality to shape their world and to redefine the world for others. These natives are highly proficient in recognizing patterns and often disrupt things, even when they don’t mean to.

Learning to ride out the emotional roller coaster is a necessary skill to develop for those carrying this energy. The highs and lows can be draining, so grounding is essential. They tend to see things in black-and-white, which can lead to intense emotional outbursts or social withdrawal. There's also a tendency to spiral from information overload. The constant desire for intellectual stimulation can drive you crazy & also cause attention span issues., Difficulty focusing, difficulty managing and maintaining relationships, can have an anxious-avoidant attachment or be prone to attracting anxious-avoidant dynamics.

There can be a major lesson in accepting losses & being comfortable with discomfort. Nothing feels predictable or reliable for moon-uranus individuals, which can lead to a pessimistic outlook & feelings of dread.

But despite it all, these people walk to the beat of their own deum, & remain true to themselves, even when the world refuses to get it.

[last-flight-of-fancy]

Started thinking about Riku-Kairi parallels and symbolism wrt the ending of kh2 so please hold while i get needlessly verbose about it-

specifically it started with this gif

and ofc adhd is as adhd does and started going down the rabbit hole of connecting the dots.

The act of reaching out a hand/hand holding is a recurring thing in kh, the vast majority of which is chock full of meaning and symbolism, and this is no exception. This is the culmination of The Hero's Journey part of Sora's tale, the return home, and the heartfelt reunion between long-seperated friends. fun fact the heroine's journey follows the hero's journey for the first third or so before continuing on. kinda like how kh continued on long after things seemed to be 'resolved'. weekly plug to look up Howler's Heroine's Journey essays if you haven't yet

The angle from which I am viewing this scene right now is in regards to ofc Riku, and his own iconic pose that we see the first time in the intro to kh1 (and many, many times since)

And this is where my riku-kairi-are-inverted-parallels-to-each-other brain starts barking like a dog because oughghghghggh same pose opposite side completely different body language- AHG.

And this matches their character arcs (as well as their respective combined arcs with sora) to a T as well. Riku's pose is the first we see, way back in kh1, and his hand is as much a taunt as it is an offer. Very befitting his relationship to sora in that game, which was coloured by a forged rivalry and intense jealousy (to quote the ultimania; Complicated Feelings) of/for sora.

(it is also notable that to date this gesture has yet to be resolved. the closest they've gotten is when sora grasped Riku's hand in kh2 on finding him- albeit in Ansem's visage.

Symbolically this is Sora attempting to accept the gesture, but this time it is Riku who fails to meet him halfway, too deep in guilt and regret to feel worthy of it. his hand is turned downwards, limp and unresisting.

And again in DDD when Riku grabs sora's hand/wrist in an attempt to wake him from his nightmares, but this time sora isn't capable of reciprocating. like two ships passing in the night, always reaching but never quite meeting)

(this one isn't quite as strong in the visual symbolism specific to the Riku Pose, but i did think it bore mentioning)

to return to the first gif however, for Kairi her posture is much less stiff, leaning forward with palpable releif at Sora's return. Honestly the fact that she holds out her left hand (which as far as i know is not her dominant hand) marks this as a very deliberate choice to parallel her as opposite to riku. and much like the rest of kh2's ending, it FEELS like a culmination, a completion of their arcs.... and most certainly isnt.

Which i mean to say, it's a mid-point. And the reason I say this is because of one little thing.

The seashell charm.

There's a sort of irony here in that the charm that was meant to reunite them in this moment is also symbolically like a wedge between them. A heartfelt and meaningful gesture, don't get me wrong! i love this scene and the genuine emotions within, but i do love chewing on the way this gains a slightly different meaning in the greater context of later story beats; specifically that of kh3.

With how pointed and direct the parallel is between kairi and riku in these scenes, it did make me pause for a moment thinking about kh3. i know we've all seen a thousand and one analysis' of the paopu scene at this point, but forgive me as i must do so again under this specific lens.

'how does the paopu scene relate to the hand extended gesture at all?' i hear you ask, and on the visual surface not much. it has more to do with sora and kairi's relationship arc through the games and, of course, the lingering loose thread that was the cave drawing.

The paopu scene is a touching recreation of that cave drawing, one enacted by a pair of kids who didn't know if they would live to see another sunset. It's also probably the most symbollically dense thing in all of kh and that is saying something so I'm going to try and keep my observations limited to just what is relevant to this post- and that would be the way that the paopu scene is a direct continuation of Kairi's 'you're home' gesture in kh2.

shooting stars are also a common recurring symbol in kh, and that's the symbol that ties these two scene's together. if kh1 is two disparate stars each trying to reach the other (the cave drawing, the seashell charm, the way their hands are seperated at the end of kh1), and the end of kh2 is that of the stars finally meeting (the single seashell star charm pressed between their palms), then the paopu scene is that of the stars passing each other by and beginning their own journey's anew (two stars held by crossed arms, each now holding a small piece of the other (bitten fruit) to show that their meeting may have been brief but it was meaningful)

it is in this way that kh3 quietly and tenderly closes out sora and kairi's combined arc, as two unlikely friends who then drift apart again, shining brightly for the shared experiance, Remind mostly serves to support that finality, tying up the last couple loose ends between them, and leaving the two far more comfortable with each other than they ever were while that arc was still ongoing (which i read as them no longer being uncertain as to what their relationship is; that of friends, and not whatever so many others around them had pushed and assumed)

(seriously look at how much more comfortable they are with each other the second the pressure to be something they're not is off. the awkwardness is completely gone i love it)

All of this is ofc still in parallel to Riku, who boasts no such star imagery (instead he has the iconic Heart of KH itself), and in fact while he symbollically continues to reach out to sora, physically he has completely refrained from doing so at all- in fact most examples of the Gesture in kh are deliberately invoked by other characters in order to bring riku to mind in some way (and often more for the players benifit than sora's)

axel in CoM,

(i have given up on tumblr gif search)

YMX in DDD,

which then immidiately cuts to riku in kh1 just to make it as blatant as possible that yes the reference is intentional (i guess CoM was too subtle somehow so they had to make sure this time)

and even Riku himself to Namine at the end of kh3, representing Repliku's final wishes in a funny sort of symbolism oroboros.)

and it's not a coincidence that the completion of that connection provides definitive closure to the arcs in question; that of namine to repliku, but also a little bit to riku himself. namine still has a role to play, but that role (i think) is more or less exclusive to her relationship with sora. namine and riku's relationship arc, background as it is, is complete, and now both are connected primarily through their incomplete arcs with sora.

(which makes the way that sora and kairi's example in kh2 is a complete outlier really interesting tbh. smth smth thinking your relationship is one thing and if it was that thing then yes that would have been the end, but it wasn't that thing and thus it wasn't the end smth smth comphet metaphor smth)

which brings us back to how riku himself hasn't really reached out to sora directly since kh1, the act that set off both of their journey's. The reasons for that are many- guilt, fear, a certainty that sora will not reach back and that he doesn't deserve it anyway- but despite that the Gesture is still subtly affirmed as being Riku's over and over again, never quite letting the audience forget it... because eventually this bit of symbolism so consistently portrayed throughout the series will reach its own conclusion, starting how it began with one deuteragonist reaching out to the other, and this time the other reaching back to complete the gesture.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Do you have a sense about how the other teacher feel about Crowley? Like the students actively don’t respect him but the teacher seems to not critique him too harshly, like yes he’s the boss but they could admit he’s ridiculous

Man. It's so funny yet also so pathetic like that NONE of Crowley's students seem to respect him 😭 Ironically, this could read as a positive characterization of him. Like... yeah, it's likely that Crowley gets no respect and is largely ignored is because he barely does any work, but the fact that his students believe that all he does is uselessly yammer and that he's not capable of strong magic tells us he isn't much a fan of wielding what immense power he does have. This in of itself can be interpreted as a kindness; he doesn't magically force people to act in his favor. He's capable of and prefers to use other means (though those "other means" arguably aren't cleaner; this includes bribery, shaming, and threatening), using magic only as a last resort. It also tells us that Crowley is the type of person who is aware of his strength but intentionally holds himself back... which could honestly be threatening for later down the line or when situations get super serious.

... Okay, enough of that tangent. To your question!! ^^ I scoured the staff content that's currently avaliable in JP (since there's more of it out on that server), and from what I gather, the opinions are actually quite varied.

Of the NRC staff, Trein is definitely the most critical of the headmaster. He often nags Crowley for unprofessional behavior, such as scolding him for 10 minutes when he was late by 10 seconds to a staff meeting (from one of Crowley's Unified Exam voice lines). This is no real surprise, as Trein has always been a stickler for decorum and is more commonly known for telling off Crewel and his own students for disorderly conduct. Vargas also states that Trein has scolded him multiple times before, so it's not like Crowley is the only recipient of Trein's ire. However, he still respects Crowley as a leader and follows his instructions when work is delegated to him. For example, Trein is assigned to chaperone the students to Fleur City/the City of Flowers in GloMasq, and Trein is also the teacher that is left in charge when Crowley is taken away for questioning by Styx in book 6.

Crowley notably does not get along with Lucius. The cat refuses to come down from a tree when Crowley coaxes him; Crowley states that he doesn’t get along with cats in general.

Crewel is aware of Crowley's... eccentricities... but doesn't really go out of his way to critique him for that behavior. At this point, Crewel seems pretty accustomed to the headmaster's silliness and does little more than comment on the strangeness of it. For example, he tells a story in Crowley's Raven Jacket vignettes about how the headmaster offered to eat game meat that Crewel had been saving to have last for lunch. Crewel remarks that it's times like this when he thinks that Crowley's though process is a little wonky. Overall, I guess Crewel sees Crowley as a little odd, but does not choose to get actively involved in correcting his attitude (unlike Trein, whom he often has beef with and talks back to, or Vargas, whom he tells to be quieter and less rowdy).

Vargas generally gets along well with Crowley. He's quite friendly and boisterous, inviting the headmaster to exercise with him and to sit with the rest of the staff when the cafeteria is crowded for lunchtime, while Crowley lauds Vargas’s passion. Not once does Vargas comment on Crowley's odd behaviors or criticize him for slacking off or not acting in a manner befitting the role of headmaster. (Debatable exception is Crowley’s one Flight voice line where he wonders if Vargas is scolding him as well.) This doesn't mean that he completely disregards Crowley as his boss though. There are instances in which Vargas and Crowley collude, like how Vargas suggests heavier materials for the school's P.E. uniforms to help strengthen their muscles; Crowley considers the proposal. They also worked together to plan Vargas Camp and an incentive to the best performing club. I'd also imagine that he and Crowley also bond over their interest in sports and their vanity/j, as Vargas is a very centered on athleticism.

Finally, Sam also has some pretty good vibes with the headmaster--though how much of this is genuine good will and how much of it is to maintain a good business relationship as business owner and customer is up to interpretation. Crowley sometimes stops by the Mystery Shop to chill with Sam, and they engage in bets to see if he can make Sam run out of stock. It sounds like Crowley occasionally vents to Sam, as Sam refers to him talking endlessly and griping. He says that if Crowley bought more things, then he would be more inclined to listen to him. Still, Sam's cheer never appears to waver.

So to summarize, Trein criticizes Crowley the most but still yields to his authority, Crewel is neutral but does acknowledge Crowley's ridiculousness, Vargas is welcoming and totally fine with Crowley's flaws, and Sam is a friendly listener who sees a consistent customer. I think they must all respect him as headmaster to some degree (though they do seem to need a break from him every once in a while; notably, they did not invite Crowley to their after-hours staff Halloween party). Part of it is that he’s their boss, but as Crowley has shown us in his card vignettes, he is also far more competent of a mage than you might think on initial impression—and what do those at NRC respect and respond to, if not power?