#which is probably why it's about 37% ridiculous and 63% serious

[codewordpumpkin]

Pinky-Promise (A Lizzington crack-fic that unintentionally turned serious)

Her phone buzzed and lit with the name Nick’s Pizza for the umpteenth time—which she silenced with practiced ease and efficiency, barely giving it a glance before returning her attention to the open file on her desk.

Some might say she was being childish. To them, she would say:

The man killed my father.

That would be sure to shut them up.

And besides, if he was truly calling because of an urgent matter, there were other ways to get in contact with her. So far, there had only been one text, and it had consisted of only one word: Lizzie.

When guilt began to fester in the pit of her stomach, she had to remind herself that the only one who should be feeling guilty here was him. Regardless of how many times he called her or sent her ominous texts of her name, she would continue to ignore him. And when ignoring him became no longer possible, she would continue to hate him.

The self-reminder served to boil her temper from annoyed to angry, and when the distracting vibration began once again, she was about ready to smash the device to bits. But just as she gripped her phone with an intensity that was probably more damaging to her own hand, the unknown number on the display had her answering with a hesitant, “Hello?”

“Elizabeth.”

“Dembe?”

“Raymond would like to speak with you.”

“Does he have a new blacklister for us?”

“… No.”

Rolling her eyes, she said, “Well, until he does, please tell him I’m busy. Thank you, Dembe.”

“Eliza—”

She winced, as she hadn’t meant to hang up on him like that. But what was done, was done. At least she had gotten her message across—as if the ignored calls hadn’t already been a huge hint.

Although she didn’t know how long this reprieve from Red would last, she was determined to use the time to catch up on her neglected piles of paperwork. She had just gotten a rhythm going when she was startled by the sound of a knock, ink now smudged on both the sheet and her hand.

“Yes?” she called out, using a tissue to dab at the fresh stains.

“Elizabeth.”

Her head snapped up at the deep voice. She frowned when she saw Dembe, standing tall and firm in the now open doorway of her office. It hadn’t even been thirty minutes since they last spoke; why was he here now? And where was Red? Despite the grudge she was determined to hold, she began to worry, wondering if something had happened to the infuriating man. Was he hurt? Had someone taken him? She was going to kill him if he had let Madeline Pratt play him once again—singular talents be damned.

She didn’t know what to say except, “What’s wrong?”

Dembe opened his mouth—then closed it. Clenching his jaw, he blinked, and blinked some more, all the while remaining silent and looking as bewildered as she was starting to feel.

Then, she heard it—what it was, she wasn’t exactly sure, but it stuck out in the tense quiet of the small room. When they both failed to acknowledge it, however, it repeated itself more loudly this time, and she recognized it as someone clearing their throat.

Dembe sighed. “Raymond.”

A few moments of… nothing passed before the man himself graced them with his presence. He shuffled almost meekly and stopped once he was just barely inside her office.

Immediately, she noticed there was something off about him. He didn’t look physically different, as far as she could tell; the fedora, the three-piece suit, the polished shoes—it was all there. But something in his demeanor made him seem… small. Where was the man whose soul and spirit was greater than life itself?

Because this wasn’t him.

“What’s going on?” she said, trying to hide her concern behind her neutral tone.

“Raymond wanted to see you.”

“Did not.”

She felt her brows climb up her forehead, taken aback by Red’s petulant outburst. Cocking her head to the side, she noticed the way his gaze had moved from his feet to the wall, staring at nothing in particular. His chin was high and proud, and his mouth was pursed in a tight pout.

“Okay,” she slowly drawled, unsure what to make of the situation, “well, as I told Dembe earlier, I’m busy, so unless this is about work…”

He scoffed, rolling his eyes.

Her temper flared.

“If you’re here for no other reason than to waste my time, you can leave,” she snapped, unconsciously tightening the grip on her pen.

To her utter shock, a hot flush rose on his cheeks—something she had not witnessed. Ever. Even when she had confided to him about her forced sex-life with her fake husband. Even after it had been made painfully clear that he had seen parts of the surveillance feed that featured said sex-life with said husband.

She sighed. “Why are you really here?”

This time, it was Dembe who cleared his throat. “Raymond wanted to see you.”

“So you’ve said, but—”

“It’s not my fault. Dembe dragged me here.”

“That is not true, Raymond, and you know it.” She was glad she wasn’t on the receiving end of that burning glare. Even Red seemed to cower at the force. “I brought you here because you were upset when Elizabeth refused to speak with you, and then you—”

“Did not.”

“Okay, what the hell is going on?” She stared down the two men. “Somebody start talking. Now.”

“Raymond was injected with something during a meeting with an associate.”

“Injected? With what?” she exclaimed, admittedly louder than she would have liked.

“Unknown.” He paused. “But the effects… It seems…” She had never seen him this flustered before. “He has essentially turned into a child.”

“Hey!”

“A child?” She laughed uncertainly. “Is this a joke?”

Dear God, let this be a joke.

He shook his head.

She gulped, her throat suddenly parched. “Well, how long until the effects dissipate?”

“Unclear.”

“Unclear?” she repeated, sounding incredulous to her own ears. How was he so calm? She was two seconds away from having a panic attack! “What about the person who injected him? Where is he? Or she?”

“Dead, unfortunately.”

“Dead,” she exhaled shakily, “okay. It’s okay. We’ll…”

She came up blank.

What the hell were they going to do?

“The good news is…”

“Yes?” she said, eager for anything that might be considered good news at this point.

“His memory appears to be fully intact. He is still Raymond—just… childish.”

“Right. Okay. Yeah, that’s good.”

“Stop talking as if I’m not here!”

Ignoring him, she asked Dembe, “What do we do? Just wait it out?”

Surely, there was a plan far more complex than that. Surely, he—

“Yes, for now,” he replied seriously. “I am going to try and get answers. While I do, you will need to watch him.”

“What—like babysit him?”

“I don’t need a babysitter!” the man-boy huffed.

“Can’t you just choose someone from the hundreds on your payroll?” she continued.

“He wants only you.”

“Do not.”

She was going to cry. Soon. She could feel it.

“Okay… Okay.” Aggressively rubbing her temples to avoid pulling out her hair, she tried to calm herself down. Taking a deep breath, she asked, “Do you need the task force to help with anything?”

“Not now, but I may need some assistance later.”

“Keep me updated, please.”

He nodded, then turned to Red, who was evidently still grumpy. “Will you be all right?”

“I’m not a child,” he said haughtily, only to prove otherwise by pouting like a duck.

“Of course.” To Dembe’s credit, he didn’t break down laughing. But she swore she detected an amused glint in his dark eyes when he wished her, “Good luck, Elizabeth.”  

For the first time, she was annoyed with the stoic man.

All too soon, he was gone, and she could no longer stare blankly at the door, hoping he would return and retrieve his well-dressed child.

Covering her face with her hands, praying this was all just a terrible dream, she hesitantly peeked through her fingers.

It wasn’t a dream.

“Um…” She could feel the panic begin to spread again. “I’ll be right back. Stay here.”

Without waiting for a response, she ran out of the suffocating room and didn’t stop until she crashed into someone and nearly fell on her ass.

“Whoa, Keen!” He grabbed her shoulders and waited until she could stand on her own. “You all right?”

“Ressler,” she panted, unsure if it was due to the run or the panic, “R-Red, he—”

“Calm down,” he said, rubbing her arms in a way she assumed was meant to be soothing. “What happened? I know Reddington’s fine because I saw him stroll into our office… Unless… Did he have a heart attack or something? Do we need to call an ambulance? Keen—”

She shook her head, willing him to understand what she couldn’t seem to say. “No, no, he’s fine—well, not fine, but—oh, God, Ress, I can’t believe this is happening—”

“Shh, Liz,” he pulled her into a hug, “look, whatever it is, it’ll be fine. Just tell me what’s going on, and—Reddington?”

Flinching, she withdrew herself from her partner’s hold and turned around just in time to see Red fleeing the scene with a pace that was nearly a sprint.

Sighing, she muttered, “I have to go.”

Dismissing Ressler’s concern with a forced smile, she walked over to Aram’s desk.

“Aram, can you pull up the security feeds? I need to know where Red is.”

“Mr. Reddington?” he asked nervously, already on task. “Is something wrong?”

“No, he…” She shook her head, unable to muster the energy. “He’s somewhere in the building. Find him, please.”

It only took a few moments to locate him on the screen, and another few minutes to locate him in person.

There he was, standing at the bottom of the stairwell in the dimly lit corridor, glaring at the ground with his arms crossed and appearing for all the world like a toddler about to have a tantrum.

“Red.”

He startled but pretended not to hear her.

“Red,” she said softly, thinking of the best way to approach, “what’s wrong?”

He tensed as she got closer, and he went perfectly still when she crouched before him, taking one of his hands in both of hers.

“Will you please look at me?”

He reluctantly did as requested.

“Why didn’t you stay in my office?”

“… Because you weren’t there.”

She didn’t know why she felt a pang at those words.

Tightening her hold on his hand, she said, “Why are you upset?” When he continued to stew in silence, she added, “Should I call Dembe to come and pick you up?”

“No!” Clearing his throat, he repeated, “No.”

“Will you tell me what’s wrong, then?” Awkwardly shuffling his feet, he tipped his head so the fedora would shadow his face. “Red?”

“You were hugging Donald.”

“Oh, that—that wasn’t…” Why did she feel the need to explain herself? “Why does that bother you?”

“Because you never hug me,” he muttered, voice so small it barely registered. “And I want you to hug only me.”

Was that what this was? The man who considered jealousy to be a base emotion was actually jealous?

But… was this coming from the man or the child?

“You’re laughing at me,” he whined, an impressive scowl on his adorably red face.

“No, I’m not,” she said, tugging down the corners of her lips that had curled up on their own accord. “I promise.”

“… Pinky-promise?”

She nodded, doing her best not to laugh. “Come here, Red.”

Rising to a stand, she opened her arms wide and patiently waited for him to step into her embrace. When he did, she reveled in the way his entire being seemed to relax, and she couldn’t help but smile when his own arms shyly came up to wrap around her waist. Neither of them seemed to care when his fedora fell to the ground, too preoccupied with the way his face was buried in the crook between her neck and shoulder. She would have also dismissed the quiet sniffle, but her now damp skin proved impossible to ignore.

“Red?” Carefully pulling away, just far enough to see his face, she was shocked to see that his cheeks were stained with tears. “Are you still upset with me?”

He shook his head, wiping his eyes with the backs of his hands.

“Then, why are you crying?” she whispered, wishing she could make him feel better.

“I’m s-sorry.”

Frowning, she tilted her head. “What for?”

“For… f-for,” he hiccuped, “for S-Sam.”

Her heart stopped. And sunk. And she couldn’t breathe.

“I…” She snapped her mouth shut, not knowing what to say.

He glanced at her from beneath wet lashes, his lips trembling. “You hate me.”

“I don’t…” Her voice cracked. “I don’t hate you.”

“You d-do. But I did it f-for Sam… pinky-promise,” he insisted, a fresh wave of liquid salt staining his skin and scalding her heart. “He was h-hurting, and you’re not supposed to let the people you l-love hurt.” She didn’t realize she had closed her eyes—or that she had been crying—until she felt his warm fingers softly stroke her face. “Now you’re hurting… and I’m not supposed to let you hurt.”

Her nose was stuffed at this point so, swallowing past the massive lump in her throat, she exhaled a low breath through her mouth and blinked her eyes open. “I understand,” she said, her words barely a painful whisper. Grasping his hand and keeping it pressed to her face, she smiled a wobbly grin. “I forgive you, Red.”

His breath hitched. “You do?”

“I do. Pinky-promise.”

The tension seemed to drain from his body in the next instant. His shoulders slumped, his eyes drooped, and she could see that the emotional purge had taken its toll.

Without letting him go, she walked the few steps it took to reach the closest wall, and with her back against the cold surface, she slid down until her bottom reached the floor. She stretched her legs out in front of her and patted her thigh. “Come on, rest your head on my lap.”

Slowly, tentatively, he curled up on the floor and did as told, snuggling against her in a manner so innocent, she felt her heart breaking all over again. They stayed like that without a word: her, stroking his temple, his cheek, the short fuzz of his hair, and he, snoring softly and drooling on her pants.

She had no idea how long they had stayed like that, but her legs had long since fallen asleep when he woke with a start. He blinked groggily up at her, rubbing his eyes as if he didn’t believe what he saw.

“Lizzie?” He squinted, suspicious—of her or himself, she couldn’t say, but she was relieved to see that it was the Red she knew that was now staring up at her.

She smiled. “Hi, Red.”

After a few seconds of silence, he brought his arm up and covered his face, mumbling a disgruntled, “Must be dreaming.”

She didn’t dare move as he fell back asleep—except for her thumb, which resumed its soothing motions as she thought of all that had happened today. It wasn’t an overstatement to say that everything had changed. Even if he never remembered any of it, she would.

And she would forever be thankful for it—for the way a child’s vulnerability had allowed her to see past the enigma of the man: his jealousy, his grief, his guilt and love. Not only that, but it had allowed her to recognize her own feelings, her own love… for Red.

She forgave him.

She loved him.

And as soon as he woke up, she would tell him.

Everything was about to change again.

[minijenn]

And now, cause im bored, here's every chapter of Keys briefly summed up in just a few words each (possible spoilers ahead??)

Prologue: The Thirteen Keys: MoM fucks with his students, what else is new

Chapter 1: Remaining Recusant: Riku rescues his boyfriend through the power of Gay

Chapter 2: To Guard the Light: Bunch of boring lore but Sokai makes it worth it

Chapter 3: To Seek the Darkness: Organization shenanigans; Vanitas divorces his shitty, abusive not-dad

Chapter 4: Hero to Zero: Uhhhhh fuckin' Hercules or somethin idk

Chapter 5: Go the Distance: Rage Mode angst is Fun

Chapter 6: Wandering in the Dark: Riku gets a haircut in the Realm of Darkness and Sora really needs to stop lying to everyone

Chapter 7: Promising Beginnings: Kairi and Lea are forced to wear a "get along" shirt

Chapter 8: Lazy Afternoon Streets: Sora has an Identity Crisis part 1

Chapter 9: At Dusk: YA STUPID ORG XIII FUCKHEADS BEST LEAVE MY SON ALONE OR ELSE ILL THROW HANDS

Chapter 10: Sinister Whispers: ^^^ BASICALLY THAT AGAIN ONLY I MEAN IT THIS TIME

Chapter 11: You've Got a Friend in Me: Being a living toy has gotta create some sorta existential crisis, right?

Chapter 12: To Infinity and Beyond: JEN IS GONNA THROW HANDS WITH YOUNG XEHANORT I SWEAR TO GOD I AM

Chapter 13: Chase the Shadows: Detectives Mickey and Riku play a round of "Where's Terra?" And fail miserably

Chapter 14: Paradise Found: Fun with Balloons and Grumpy Geriatrics

Chapter 15: Adventure is Out There: Sora may or may not fall to his death from ridiculously high up in the air i dont fuckin know

Chapter 16: Unspoken, Unheard: Kairi writes Sora a bunch of letters cause she loves him so much but wont say it cause she shy ahah

Chapter 17: How Far I'll Go: MOANA AND SORA ARE MY NEW BROTP

Chapter 18: Know Who You Are: Vanitas gets yeeted by the Ocean cause he a naughty boyo

Chapter 19: The Streets of San Fransokyo: Sora doesnt understand how Technology works what else is new?

Chapter 20: Immortals: everything's all fun and games until Sora's dumbass self-sacrifical complex kicks in (again)

Chapter 21: Depths of Despair: LOOKS LIKE I GOTTA THROW HANDS WITH MALEFICENT NOW TOO

Chapter 22: Rise and Fall and Rise Again: Sora and Kairi hang out and DAMMIT JUST KISS ALREADY YOU DORKS

Chapter 23: The Lost Empire: Lingering Will pops in to say hi and also uhhhh whatever the fuck happens in Atlantis goes down idk

Chapter 24: Where the Dream Takes You: Sora may or may not have PTSD, boi should probs go see a therapist

Chapter 25: Drowning in Darkness: Aqua throws hands then proceeds to get Norted

Chapter 26: I See the Light: Basically KH3's take on Corona but things actually make sense this time

Chapter 27: What Once Was Mine: In which that bit from KH3 where Marluxia knocks Sora out actually leads to some legit payoff smh

Chapter 28: Firsthand Experience: Kairi and Lea take a trip to Disney World and yeet Vanitas (again) right the fuck outta there

Chapter 29: The World Es Mi Familia: Being an (unliving) skeleton also is bound to raise an existential crisis, right?

Chapter 30: Recuérdame: I cry while writing this chapter, both for my baby Xion and because Coco is just that damn tearjerking

Chapter 31: Destined Reunion: ALL THE POLY DESTINY TRIO FEELS

Chapter 32: Something There: At this point even Riku be lookin at Sora and Kairi and shouting "KISS ALREADY YOU ADORABLE DORKS"

Chapter 33: Tale as Old as Time: Sora commits an Actual Murder (am i kidding? Who knooooows)

Chapter 34: The Realm of Darkness: DARK AQUA CAN STEP ON MAH FACE IMO

Chapter 35: Rise to the Light: Great, now Aqua has PTSD too, thanks for nothin, Mickey

Chapter 36: Return to Depart: Sora has another Identity Crisis, part 2

Chapter 37: Broken Chains: Vanitas challenges Sora and Ven to a fight in the Denny's parking lot and fucking loses what else is new

Chapter 38: So This is Love: YES THEY FINALLY KISSED THOSE DORKS

Chapter 39: Almost There: Frogs and also like... Voodoo and so many BBS callbacks so damn many

Chapter 40: Dig a Little Deeper: Sora is too damn stubborn to admit he needs help what else is new

Chapter 41: Follow the Light: Wayfinder Family Reunion saves my life

Chapter 42: Solving Mysteries, Rewriting History: Sora and Goofy meet Donalds family (who then proceed to take the piss outta Donald cause this is Ducktales fam why wouldnt they)

Chapter 43: The Other Promise: Sora has yet another Identity Crisis, part 3

Chapter 44: Vector to the Heavens: Sora and Roxas drink their "Respect and Protect Xion" juice

Chapter 45: Another Arabian Night: Sora, Roxas, and Xion fuck around in a B-list Disney Direct to Video Sequel

Chapter 46: Out of Thin Air: GONNA THROW HANDS WITH XEHANORT HIMSELF THIS TIME AROUND GET AWAY FROM MY SON YA OLD FUCKHEAD

Chapter 47: Alone on the Run: Sora has a Bad Time, Riku and Kairi also have a Bad Time, generally everyone has a Bad Time

Chapter 48: Trust No One: Ven and Roxas add onto the never ending Twin Pile that apparently exists in Gravity Falls

Chapter 49: Not What He Seems: I KNOW ITS NOT UF BUT LOOKS LIKE I GOTTA THROW HANDS WITH BILL CIPHER ANYWAY SOMEHOW

Chapter 50: A Heart Torn Between: Vanitas learns that Girls exist while Sora continues to have a Very Bad Time

Chapter 51: Hawaiian Roller Coaster Ride: Riku's goin on a twink hunt, and dont think he dont know how to weeeeed em out

Chapter 52: Aloha 'Oe: Sora and Riku get into a bit of a lover's spat dont worry about it its nothin serious dont worry about it

Chapter 53: Treasured Memories: Namine is the Very First Person Ever to tell Vanitas he has emotional issues, its about damn time

Chapter 54: Let It Go: KAIRI'S FUCKIN PISSED SHE GONNA BRING HER DAMN DUMBASS WAYWARD BOYFRIEND HOME ALREADY DAMN also Sora hangs out with Elsa i guess

Chapter 55: Love Will Thaw: KAIRI KICKS EVERYONES ASSES INCLUDING SORA'S CAUSE LIKE I SAID SHES FUCKIN PISSED

Chapter 56: Back Into the Fold: Sora doesnt have an Identity Crisis anymore but he sure as hell has Anxiety now, part 4

Chapter 57: Farewell to the Wood: Absolute tone whiplash, brought to you by Winnie the Pooh and Sora's ongoing Existential Crisis too

Chapter 58: Link to All: Everyone just cries a lot for an entire chapter cause they all know they boutta fuckin dieeeee

Chapter 59: Face My Fears: I systematically rip every single one of our protagonists hearts out and stomp on each of them with no remorse whatsoever

Chapter 60: Fragments of Light: The B-Squad saves the day

Chapter 61: The Thirteenth Vessel: Sora hangs out with his New Fam, otherwise known as Organization XIII, family fun ensues and it totally isnt a massive angstfest i dont know what you mean

Chapter 62: Key to the Heart: Riku and Kairi throw hands with their boyfriend while also trying to save their boyfriend it makes sense if ya dont think about it

Chapter 63: The Final World: Sora is McFuckin dead and chilling in heaven with a cute baby plushie cat (hey its not a spoiler if KH3 did it first)

Chapter 64: At Daybreak: "But Jen, if you hate KHX so much then why do you keep making so many references to it???" BECAUSE THATS WHY NOW SHUT UP

Chapter 65: The Keyblade War: Keyblade Fight Club, either you Die or you DIE

Chapter 66: Clash of Light and Darkness: Bunch of teenagers throw hands with some bald old fuckhead, but in the end nobody wins except me

Chapter 67: Kingdom Hearts: You know you're in for something fucking nuts when the chapter title is named after the entire series

Chapter 68: The King and the Crown: Jen pulls off a plot twist so mind blowingly ridiculous that it would probably make Tetsuya Nomura blush

Chapter 69: Reconnect: Everyone has a happy ending except no not really i lied

Chapter 70: Don't Think Twice: Oops I Lied again :)

Epilogue: Dearly Beloved: Fuck KH3's ending this is my new canon now

[awwishfulthinking]

Houshin Engi 100 Questions!

There are SPOILERS!

I did this seven years ago (my god...) but I’m re-doing this because I can.

1. What is your name? My online nickname is Ariana. 2. When did you get into Houshin Engi? Around when I started university. So around 8 or 9 years ago.

3. Did you read it in Weekly Jump magazine? Or the tankoubons? Or both? I read the scanlations by SnoopyCool. 4. Do you own all 23 volumes? Sadly, no. But I hope I have the space/money to obtain them someday. (They’re actually on sale for a good price at Book Off, I just don’t have the space atm) 5. Do you own Houshin Taizen? No. 6. Do you have the special Houshin Taizen that came with Akamaru Jump? I wish. But no, I do not. 7.Do you want a Houshin Taizen 2 to come out? Yes! 8. Did you watch the anime? I’ve watched the 1990s anime all the way through at least once; I’m currently watching the remake it’s not great 9. Did you tape record it? I burned all the subbed episodes of the 1990s anime on five dvds... Felt bad about it and recently bought a complete series, official DVD set. I’ll likely buy the complete series DVD set for the remake as well because I love HE that much even though the anime remake is kind of. Eh. 10. Give your honest opinion on the last episode. To be honest the second half of the old 1990s anime has been nearly completely wiped from my memory. I don’t know how I feel about the remake’s last ep as it hasn’t aired yet, but I’m praying it provides some decent closure. 11. Do you own mp3s of the opening and ending songs? Yes.

12. Do you buy the soundtrack albums? No. I really should, shouldn’t I... 13. If you answered ‘yes’ to #12, what is your favourIte track? N/A 14. What Houshin Engi merchandise do you own? Unofficial merch: Like 12 doujins. Official Merch: A bunch of acrylic keychains, and hopefully that Taikoubou prize figure, the nendoroid, and the mini plush doll.

15. Have you ever bought any of the Senkaiden games? I have the Senkaiden ni II game for wonderswan (downloaded). 16. If you answered ‘yes’ to #15, which ones have you bought? refer to answer above 18. Could you name all the characters in Houshin Engi? I don’t think I’d ever be able to remember everyone’s names. 19. Favourite male character(s)? Taikoubou, Taiitsu, Gyokutei, Tenka. And far too many others but those are my usual top faves. 20. Favourite female character(s)? Yuukyou, Sengyoku, Ryuukitsu Koshuu, and Ko Kibi! (This answer hasn’t changed at all in the past 7 years lol) 21. Which is your favourite Taikoubou outfit? I used to like his post-Chou Koumei arc outfit, but now I think I prefer his original outfit slightly more. The post-Chou Koumei outfit seems a little... too much to me now. The gloves on that outfit really annoy me for some reason. 22. Your opinion on Youzen’s outfit during the fight against Jyoka? It’s fitting. 23. Your opinion on Fugen’s shoulder-revealing shirt? how does it stay on??? 24. Have you ever imitated Dakki’s speech pattern? Nah, I don’t really like faux-cutesy speech patterns. 25. If you could transform like Youzen, who would you turn into and what would you do? I honestly don’t know... lol 26. Which act/chapter is your favourite? The Chou Koumei battleship arc still remains one of my favorite arcs to this day. 27. Which anime episode is your favourite? For the 1990s anime: The one where Taikoubou fights Raishinshi using the drunken fist technique. For the remake: Episode 10... it’s painful but it’s probably the best episode of the remake so far. 28. Which volume cover is your favourite? Of the fancy tankoubons, the last two volumes. 29. Which title — be it volume title, chapter title, or episode title — is your favourite? I don’t pay attention to them enough lol... 30. Have you ever cried while reading Houshin Engi? No, but some parts of the manga did make me feel emotionally drained. 31. Do you still buy the calendars? I kind of want one but eh, I can live without them. 32. If you answered ‘yes’ to #31, do you keep the old ones up? refer to answer above 33. What is your favourite quote, and who said it? “Let’s go flying to the land of rainbows on my ferrari!” —Doukouson. (my answer still hasn’t changed lol) 34. Do you have a favourite romantic pairing? Ko Hiko x Kashi. (He loved her so much...) 35. Say anything you want about that favourite pairing? Out of the (very few) confirmed romantic pairings in HE, I just love that Ko Hiko is portrayed as a man who loves his wife that deeply (and that she loved him that deeply as well). 36. Why are you into that pairing? refer to answer above 37. Have you thought of a perfect song for that pairing? What song, and by whom? I’m not really the type to think up pairing songs... 38. Which houshined character do you want resurrected? *slams fists on table* All the Juunisen members and also Tenka.

39. Which character made you think “I’m glad s/he wasn’t houshined!”? Taiitsu. And Bukichi. 40. Which of the Konron 12 would you like to be scouted by? Taiitsu would definitely be the most “fun” to have as a teacher. Fugen or Kuryuson (Dokouson’s master) would also be good because they both seem pretty nice and laid-back. Also Gyokutei because he’d be a good teacher (I can’t believe I initially forgot about him orz) 41. What are your reasons? refer to answer above 42. Suupuushan, Kokutenko, Kokukirin. Who would you want to ride? Suupuu! He would be the best conversational partner.

43. Do you have any friends who like Houshin Engi? Thank god for the HE discord group. 44. Who’s your favourite Jyuttenkun? Kinkouseiba! Her design is A+ 45. Did you like “Ennui Academy”? It was good as a gag; but honestly, if this was an actual manga series and not just a three-page gag it’d probably be kind of insufferable. 46. What’s your favourite non-romantic pairing? Bukichi and Suupu’s friendship in the latter part of the series is adorable. 47. Which do you like better; the Dakki Sisters or the Beautiful Sisters (Venus and Co.)? The Beautiful Sisters! 48. Do you want Roushi’s suit? Sure. It seems useful. 49. Name one paopei you want. I’d love to have a mini-version of the Zansanken (Gyokutei’s sword) if only to chop up ingredients quickly. Also, Youzen’s Koutenken because... how could you turn down a fluffy, giant white dog that you can pet and also use to attack people with if necessary? 50. What would you use it for? refer to answer above 

  51. Who is the strongest character, in your opinion? Fukki. 52. What is your reason? He freaking beat up Jyoka, who was the strongest being in the HE universe. Do I need to state any other reason? 53. Which character makes you go, “I’ll never forgive him/her!!”? Outenkun 54. What colour do you like on Taikoubou’s hair? Black. 55. Name a master-disciple combo you like. Gyokutei and Youzen. 58. Which is your favourite splash page? The one of Fukki under the waterfall. 59. Taikoubou + Outenkun = Fukki. Did you easily accept this fact? I was spoiled but yeah. Sure. 60. Did the entrance of Fukki affect your opinion on Houshin Engi? No, although tbh I’m still ambivalent about Fukki’s entire existence. 61. Do you think of Taikoubou, Fukki, and Outenkun as three seperate people? Yes. 62. Where on Taikoubou’s body do you think Outenkun’s paopei’s mark appeared? I know this question was asked for all the perverted minds out there. I’m just gonna say it was probably on his hand. 63. Who would you want to be houshined by? I would rather not die if I could, thanks. 64. Who would do you want to houshin? Ryogaku; he’s the one that deserved it the most. 65. Which of Dakki’s many outfits is your favourite? It’s been 7 years and I still like her retro-space outfit (reference to Space Channel 5) outfit the most. 66. Is Venus scary? Only if you get on her bad side. 67. Which paopei made you go, “That’s terrible!!”? Rikukonhan. I think it’s pretty much unanimous. 68. What is the colour of Chibi Youzen’s horns? Gray. (I think that’s what they are in the anime?) 69. What cup size is Dakki? C. Any bigger would be kind of ridiculous. 70. Who’s your favourite Colourful Trio sennin? Taiitsu! 71. Your opinion on the brand new sennin world? It’s fitting for Taikoubou’s ideal of what a senin world would be (no interference in the human world) 72. What is Fukki’s hair colour in act 201? White. 73. Ask yourself a question concerning Houshin Engi. What does this question even mean 74. Your response to that question? ???? 75. In your opinion, is Nentou in love with his half sister? Probably 76. Did the Sennin World War leave a deep mark on your heart? The page where Taikoubou cries has still got to be the most hard-hitting two page spread I have ever seen in my life. 77. Do you own any Houshin Engi doujinshis? Yeah, I have about a dozen because I have a serious problem 78. Kichiku, hentai, yaoi, shounen-ai, general. Which doujinshi genre do you have the most of? I have the most shounen ai doujins, but I really prefer gag doujins. 79. Do you make Houshin Engi doujins? I wish I could, but sadly I can’t draw. 80. If you answered ‘yes’ to #79, do you make doujins about couples? refer to answer above 81. If you answered ‘yes’ to #79, the amount of Houshin Engi doujinshi circles is decreasing, but do you intend to continue yours? refer to answer above 82. Who’s the easiest character to draw? Taikoubou’s alien form (lol) 83. Who’s the hardest character to draw? As much as I like Taikoubou, he looks like an absolute pain to draw. I like his outfit design, but it is kind of a mess. 84. Have you ever done Houshin Engi cosplay? No, because everyone’s outfits are so complicated it looks like it’d be hard.

85. If you answered ‘yes’ to #84, who have you cosplayed? refer to answer above 86. Does your website mainly have Houshin Engi in it? I don’t have a personal website lmao 87. Is there a Houshin Engi fan you can’t forgive? Who and why? ...no comment. 88. What is Hanyoutai Youzen’s colour scheme? whatever it was in the remake 89. If Nataku were to give you a ride, where would you want to go? let’s be real he’d probably kill me before I even had the chance to do that.

90. Which of Choukei’s outfits is the best? His Jyoka arc outfit is nice.

91. Say anything about the most memorable scene in Houshin Engi. ouch my feelings 92. What do you think of the ending to Houshin Engi? Probably one of the more satisfying endings out there for a series. 93. Have you imagined what happens after the series’ end? It’s pretty much like what happens in the Senkaiden Ni II game I guess. 94. If you answered ‘yes’ to #93, give more detail. http://s2he-game.livejournal.com/ (angry that my walkthrough pictures no longer work thanks photobucket) 95. Have you read Parallel World Houshin Engi? Yes 96. Do you own “Dramatic Irony”? No. 97. The series has ended, but is your love for the series still going strong? My obsession with the series definitely comes and goes... but I think this is a series I will always be a fan of no matter how old I get. 98. Do you really think Fukki has nothing left to do in the end? let the lazy bum be lazy. He deserves the retirement. 99. Say anything you want about Fujiryuu. I don’t always understand your character design choices but I love your story-telling. 100. Any last words? please let there be new HE content forever thanks

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 14/02/2020

This’ll either be a long episode, a very confusing one, or both. We have nine new arrivals, which might actually be our most ever, although it’s probably tied with one from last year unless we had something ridiculous like twelve new arrivals. Let’s just get this over with.

Top 10

First of all, celebrating its second week at #1, we have “Blinding Lights” by the Weeknd stable since last week at the top spot. I love this song, so I’m definitely glad to see it here.

Speaking of songs I love, “The Box” by Roddy Ricch isn’t moving either at number-two.

In fact, much like most of our busy weeks, the top 10 doesn’t necessarily reflect that, as with some exceptions, there’s nothing of note to speak of here. “Before You Go” by Lewis Capaldi is stable at number-three.

The number-four spot has also stabilised; “Don’t Start Now” by Dua Lipa is there, and doesn’t seem to have any competition.

Neither does “Godzilla” by Eminem featuring the late Juice WRLD, unfortunately, at number-five.

Up two spots to number-six for whatever reason is “Life is Good” by Drake, then Future – this might rebound even higher next week due to a DaBaby remix.

“Someone You Loved” by Lewis Capaldi is down a spot to number-seven, but it’ll be back in the top five once the BRITs have their impact. Delightful.

Our big story in the top 10 is the 13-space boost for “Roses” up to number-eight, meaning it’s Saint Jhn’s first ever top 10 single in the UK, and, yeah, sure, we’ll give Imanbek credit for that too, since his unauthorised house remix really blew it up all over Europe. Hence, I’m pretty sure this is the first Kazakh lead artist on a UK Top 10 single, and that’s pretty epic.

Billie Eilish’s “everything i wanted” is down two spots to number-nine.

And finally, to round off our top 10, is the non-mover, “Adore You” by Harry Styles.

Climbers

To my surprise, we do actually have a few notable climbers, and a lot more than I expected at that. First, there’s “You should be sad” by Halsey up five spaces to #12, making a pretty unexpected play for the top 10. There’s also “Lonely” by Joel Corry up 14 spaces to #16 off of the debut, and “Lose You to Love Me” by Selena Gomez inexplicably moving up six spots to #21. Maybe in the wake of a Justin Bieber album, there’s some stan revenge streaming? It’s a stretch but that’s honestly my only explanation other than it making another, more organic chart run. I do have a reason for Jonas Brothers and the nine-spot boost for “What a Man Gotta Do”: the second video as well as the One Show performance, which is still something millions of people watch here in the UK. “Better Off Without You” by Becky Hill and Shift K3y is up 12 to #24 off of the debut and finally, “Say So” by Doja Cat is up 10 spots to #25 also off of the debut (Not complaining about that one).

Fallers

There were some pretty massive fallers this week but also not actually that many that were notable, and definitely ones that demonstrate a transition period between Winter 2019/2020 and Spring 2020, but these are also mostly hip-hop and rap, hence can be explained by streaming cuts, an arbitrary UK chart rule that affects nearly exclusively one genre for the most part. That’s not the case for all of them though; “Wake Up Call” by KSI featuring Trippie Redd is down 17 spaces to #28 because it’s a song by a YouTuber, and hence usually a bit crap. The rule did affect, however, “ROXANNE” by Arizona Zervas, down 24 spaces to #33, and “Memories” by Maroon 5, an exception to the rule seemingly, down 23 spots to #39.

Dropouts & Returning Entries

There were a hell of a lot of dropouts and actually two returning entries, for once. All of these dropouts don’t seem like they’re going to gain much traction after this week, and if they do, it’ll probably be some kind of fluke or special event that gets them back up there. I can see about three or four of these returning to the dregs of the top 40, but otherwise this seems to be the end of the line for most of these. “Bruises” by Lewis Capaldi is out from #15, “Pump it Up” by DJ Endor is out from #23, “Lose Control” by MEDUZA, Goodboys and Becky Hill is out from #25, “This is Real” by Jax Jones featuring Ella Henderson is out from #26, “Ride It” by Regard featuring Jay Sean ends its second run out from #29, “Gangsta” by Darkoo and One Acen is out from #32, “Don’t Rush” by Young T & Bugsey with Headie One is out from #34, “Ladbroke Grove” by AJ Tracey is out for what must be the fourth time from #37, “Those Kinda Nights” by Eminem featuring Ed Sheeran is thankfully out from #38, “Vossi Bop” by Stormzy is temporarily out from #39 but the BRITs will probably pick this one up and boost its numbers, and finally, “Big Conspiracy” by J Hus featuring iceé tgm is out from #40. The other two J Hus songs are somehow still in the top 40.

The two returning entries are, firstly, “Hold Me While You Wait” by Lewis Capaldi returning at #30, seemingly in a trade with “Bruises”, because, I guess two Capaldi songs in the top 10 isn’t enough. The second is “Pee Pee” by M Huncho at #40, and I just love how stupid that song is. It’s actually a pretty fun and arguably good song, but I also have so many questions about it, like why the album it’s from is called Huncholini the 1st. I’m glad to see it back here though. Anyway, before we get to the new arrivals, here are some songs below the top 40 that I could see getting here in a couple weeks, if that. Not all of them are good, not all of them are bad. We have “All I Want” by Olivia Rodrigo at #72, “No Judgement” at Niall Horan at #70, “Yikes” by Nicki Minaj at #69, “No Shame” by 5 Seconds of Summer at #68, “What if I Told You that I Love You” by Ali Gatie at #63, “Charades” by Headie One and Fred Again at #57, “Stop this Flame” by Celeste at #56, “Staqdo” by MoStack at #54, “Mya Mills” by Lil Pino at #50, “Run” by Joji at #46, “High Fashion” by Roddy Ricch and Mustard at #45, and finally, “Ourself” by NSG at #43. Now, for our new arrivals.

NEW ARRIVALS

#38 – “Ballin’” – Mustard and Roddy Ricch

Produced by Mustard, Justus West and Gylttrip

Okay, so this is a song I’ve been predicting would breach the top 40 for ages, mostly because it’s already been a massive hit in 2019 for the US, and hence is on my list of the best hit songs of 2019, which will probably be the last of one of those lists that I actually do. It’s #14, so it’s not that high, but I feel like I should talk more in-depth there since the list’ll be out as soon as possible, probably this month. It’s Mustard’s first UK Top 40 hit as a lead artist (Congratulations) and Roddy Ricch’s second – I love this song, we’ll talk about it more another day, that’s all.

#37 – “Suicidal” – YNW Melly

Produced by Z3n

Okay, so let me explain: Yes, YNW Melly, real name Jamell Demons (Fitting name by the way), is still in prison facing murder charges. This is the third album he’s released behind bars, obviously the others were released while he was incarcerated for less serious offenses, but it’s not exactly a new concept and hey, the label aren’t milking his death, at least, although they are milking the murder of two other people, so I guess that point’s out the window. It’s not impossible to make an album from prison but they’re probably just taking snippets of his SoundCloud stuff or unreleased demos and re-releasing it as new content. This is his second UK Top 40 hit after “Murder on My Mind” – if you go by just his song titles, this man is guilty as all hell – and well, it was never going to be any good, was it? The dull piano-lead trap beat isn’t emotive at all, and with the disruptive producer tags and clipping bass, as well as the generic emo guitar, it just feels emotionless, which is awful for a song called “Suicidal”, and YNW Melly is actually giving it all trying to replicate a typical emo-pop song with his voice that I actually love hearing most of the time, especially when it’s drowned in Auto-Tune like this; the vocal track here, despite oddly mixed, would sound great in isolation. Sadly, this beat is so boring, and he goes off topic so many times, with his structure-less flow and monotonous rambling about how he’s got his bag now and everyone’s wishing bad on him now (Probably because he’s facing murder charges)... yeah, this just does nothing for me, and it’s clearly an immature attempt at making a deep, powerful break-up song, even with some of the most pathetic inflections I’ve heard from the man in that “I’m drinkin’ Hennessey” bridge, as well as his heartbreak ending up being as deep as “I swear to God, I swear to God, you stupid bitch”. Yeah, no, this is not great at all, and way too long, by the way.

#36 – “Birthday” – Anne-Marie

Produced by Oak

So, if you forgot who Anne-Marie was, first of all I don’t blame you because so did I, but second of all, she’s a pop songstress who often hops on dancehall or house beats with a voice and delivery that treads the line between indie-girl mumble mouth and a fake Caribbean accent. This is the lead single from her second album, that actually debuted dangerously low—seriously, this is looking like it’s prepared for a sophomore slump ala Camila Cabello’s Romance late last year, although admittedly Anne-Marie’s chart presence, whilst seemingly omnipresent in 2018 and early 2019, has dwindled considerably. This is her tenth UK Top 40 hit, and well, I don’t exactly know what to expect but I’m guessing some fluffy, vaguely tropical dance-pop tune, but it could be a ballad for all I know. It doesn’t look like I’m too far off, but this one is particularly obnoxious, with a dated, beeping synth tone acting as the main melody, an aggravatingly static hi-hat pattern, a messy and out-of-place drum beat that sounds straight out of a shit Flume rip-off, some of Anne-Marie’s most obnoxious Auto-Tuned vocal inflections (And some of her most Kehlani-like, may I add), and vocal mixing that is questionably lower than the drums in the pre-chorus, even though they’re clearly not backing vocals. The chorus is hilariously trite, saying, “Goddamn, it’s my birthday”, and that people should give her money because it’s her birthday. Basically, it’s about a spoiled teenager on her 16th birthday being all rebellious and edgy to spite their parents but without any actual emotion or passion, and instead some pathetic vocal runs and disgusting, cluttered instrumentation... actually, that would describe a teenage birthday party pretty well. The little chuckle at the end in place of an outro is also really cringe worthy. What an awful song – it’s been a while since we’ve had a hit here that seems fundamentally broken, but this gets pretty close.

#34 – “Know Your Worth” – Khalid and Disclosure

Produced by Disclosure

R&B singer Khalid and EDM group Disclosure, two acts I happen to be very fond of whenever they appear on this show, have collaborated for the second time since 2019’s “Talk”, a song which I love but won’t be making an appearance on my best list for that year for one simple reason that’ll seem obvious once you read that list. This collaboration doesn’t seem to be for an album, though, and is instead an advert for Levi’s jeans. Nice. It’s Khalid’s thirteenth and Disclosure’s sixth (ironically excluding “Talk” as they weren’t properly credited as lead artist) UK Top 40 hit, and it sure is a Disclosure song, with their more modern EDM touches they’ve been picking up recently in productions like the aforementioned “Talk” and Mac Miller’s “Blue World”, but with some really sweet steel pans, the same stilted groove they’re known for, a quirky collection of beeping synths and a familiar yelling vocal sample that I can’t find the original source for anywhere. Khalid rides on the instrumental pretty nicely and smoothly but this really isn’t anything special, with the lyrics mostly being some kind of general motivation or self-empowerment, mostly directed towards a girl whose significant other doesn’t exactly treat her like she is worth, apparently to Khalid. I think Shawn Mendes is rubbing off on you, mate.

#32 – “London” – M24 featuring Tion Wayne

Produced by ETS

Hey, Tion Wayne! I like this dude a lot, and I was thinking about him a couple days ago, thinking that he’d had his time up on the charts, but he seems to be back with M24, another British rapper, for this new single. Tion Wayne is one of the main reasons “Options” by NSG is one of my most-listened songs of last year, and has since delivered excellent verses on “Bally” with the equally charismatic Swarmz and tried to lighten up the amazingly dull “Keisha & Becky” by Russ splash, who has since changed his name because of course he has. It’s safe to say he’s one of my favourite of the recent crop of London rappers, simply because of how fun his cadences can be. I was surprised when I saw him on a sharp black-and-white cover art with a song about London, which I assumed would be about the struggles of gang violence and poverty that Tion Wayne has since risen above, but instead, for his fourth UK Top 40 hit and M24’s first ever, we have a chorus that goes, “That gyal wan’ shock, one eye on her arse like, “Holy f***”, look at the arch, you know I buss, back up the arse like uh-uh”. That’s actually about what I expected from Tion Wayne to be honest. Looking back on all those songs that I mentioned, especially “Bally”, it has interesting, eccentric, exciting and energetic cadences, as well as some upbeat production that is sourly missing from people like Aitch and DigDat. That’s why while I was slightly disappointed by the more minimalist, dull, colourless drill production, which honestly actually kind of bangs, I was welcomed by Tion Wayne’s hilarious hook, especially the “UH UH” ad-lib, and his injections of humour into the verses, which M24 tries as well. Both M24’s more aggressive stuttering delivery and Tion Wayne’s more carefree flow work for this beat (which is unfitting for a song that’s supposed to be about attractive women by the way; this is in no way sexy), with Tion Wayne’s first verse seemingly carrying the theme of “beef”, and he likes a fight in prison because it’s “beef in a cell”... “like Beyoncé”? Huh? He kind of gets away with it though, as the next line is even funnier; his gun is like his roll-on deodorant because it doesn’t leave shells. He shouts out his designer-brand boxers then says that he will fight a man for his phone charger. You get why I like this dude, right? He’s kind of absurd. M24 and Tion Wayne trade bars on the second verse, with M24 even lightening up to say that his sex is so good that his groupies try to invite their mother. Lovely. They also share some clever worldplay about “ye” (drugs) and Kanye, both comparing themselves to Kim Kardashian in the process. All this is without overstaying its welcome, by the way, it’s less than three minutes. Wayne then, for a final few bars, adopts the “A$AP Forever” flow to shout out basically every woman in England, as well as saying this:

I f*** your girl from the back / I put my block on the map

These two events (hopefully) have no relation to each other, like at all. Never change, Tion Wayne.

#31 – “Destined for Greatness” – Tobi & Manny featuring Janelle

Produced by Krunchie and Zdot

I knew this was going to be a tricky one once I realised that I know more about the producers than I do about any of the three primary vocalists here. Krunchie and Zdot are responsible for much of Bugzy Malone’s discography, especially the older stuff. Anyway, this is the first UK Top 40 hit for Tobi & Manny, a duo much like Young T & Bugsey or Krept and Konan made of two members or affiliates of the Sidemen, namely: Tobi and Manny, two brothers that joined KSI’s group of YouTubers, rappers, entertainers, FIFA players, what have you. They teamed up with their sister Janelle, who actually contributes very little to the song, no more than a short intro and backing vocals, for a kid-friendly motivational anthem – on a dark, menacing beat. Of course. Yeah, this is pathetic. Both Tobi and Manny have no interesting bars, and whilst it is mostly a story-telling song, there isn’t any passion in their voices about their come-up, so why should I care? Janelle doesn’t exist, and if she does, she’s annoying, joining in on the bland hook for a somewhat colourful addition to the shitty non-entities of Tobi and Manny, both of whom are just phoning it in, but I feel like this is them trying to be their best, to be honest. This is just corny, and aggravatingly so, with a boring beat to boot. I have no idea how this debuted this high, when it is this painfully amateur. “We’re controlling the game like Nintendo Wii”? Give me a break. Oh, and I listened to Tobi’s only other official single as part of the Sidemen on “The Gift”, and somehow he had the best verse.

#29 – “React” – The Pussycat Dolls

Produced by Will Simms, Johan Gustafson and Ivares

The Pussycat Dolls were a girl group formed in the 2000s, who were reasonably  big worldwide and massive here in the UK. They weren’t made by a British talent show, but they were similarly generic and basically just the sexier alternative to the more teeny-bopper groups, and hence I guess were made more for boys than they were for girls, in that respect, but even for today, despite being produced and directed by men for men and presented consistently in an awfully objectifying manner, they have kept that “girl power” schtick. You may know them for “Don’t Cha”, “Buttons”, “Beep”, “I Hate This Part”, whatever, they’re all garbage. After the group split only lead singer Nicole Sherzinger retained relevance and officially made the only good song tangentially related to the Dolls, with her (originally uncredited) feature on “Club Can’t Handle Me” by Flo Rida and David Guetta. I mean, it’s a low bar that you’d think they’d be able to ascend, but I can’t think of a single song from the Dolls that is better. Anyway, they’re all in their 40s now, and they’ve reunited for their eleventh UK Top 40 hit (and their first since 2010’s “Hush Hush, Hush Hush” peaked at #17), with massive comeback, television debut, high-budget music video and... a chart debut at #29. Yikes. Well, the Dolls were always dancers rather than singers, so people won’t purchase the single in the streaming era where you can choose what to listen to and you’re not having songs pushed down your throat by radio stations incessant label promotion (Well, at least not most of the time, Drake). I think the only reason the song is even in the top 40 at all is that the UK Singles Chart decided three years ago that YouTube streams counted for the chart. Listen, the song is manufactured plastic dance-pop that’s worth no-one’s time, with even the most distinct voice in the band, Scherzinger, sounding like a vocaloid. The chorus is a massive rip-off of the melody from the verses of Carly Rae Jepsen’s “I Really Like You”, by the way. Once I heard that, I couldn’t get it out of my head. Jepsen’s song is actually good, by the way.

#27 – “Power Over Me” – Dermot Kennedy

Produced by Koz

Remember “Outnumbered”? That was a pretty decent folk-trap hit, right? Well, Dermot Kennedy is back for his second UK Top 40 single, which was actually released far before his breakout hit but is getting the push now, “Power Over Me”, originally released in 2018. Now, it’s basically the same concept: Irish dude croons and belts over a guitar-lead pop song... but this isn’t a ballad, and instead has a real kick to it, figuratively and literally, but very little groove. The song isn’t bad at all, and I love the concept of a song of not him having the power in this relationship, but him finding himself subservient to this girl, who he paints as some kind of deity figure, and it’s convincing. God, I love how the drums sound in this song. The humming in the pre-chorus is just so sonically pleasing as well. The belting in the bridge and the mesh of guitar, on the other hand, isn’t really, but damn, the strings in the final chorus are genuinely gorgeous, and it’s catchy as hell, so for a good folk-rock love song, yeah, I can vouch for this one. There’s a MEDUZA house remix to this that hilariously misses the point of this song but sounds crazy good doing it, and might be a bit better than the original, if just for the blend of 80s post-disco and 16-bit chiptune bass in the drop. Either way, this is a good song, and reminds me kind of 2000s alt-rock, as did “Outnumbered”, to be honest. Maybe I should check out that debut self-titled album.

#14 – “Intentions” – Justin Bieber featuring Quavo

Produced by Poo Bear and the Audibles

This is the most 2016-sounding song that was released after 2017, and that’s just off the title alone. You guys want to add Chance the Rapper while you’re at it? God, what an anti-climactic end to our new arrivals. Justin Bieber and Quavo. I cannot imagine a blander, less interesting duo than Justin Bieber and Quavo. I think I’ve lived approximately five Quavo verses ever, the dude is so non-descript compared to the rest of the Migos, especially Offset, who, to be honest, I’ve become quite a fan of in recent months. It’s Bieber’s 46th UK Top 40 hit or something to that effect, and Quavo’s seventh but who cares, honestly? Who is listening to Bieber out of passion for his music or voice or whatever? Only his biggest, most loyal fans. The general public who casually listen to Bieber are listening more out of morbid curiosity than anything else, and for someone who seemed like the biggest star in the world at some point, that’s just depressing. Yeah, I have nothing else to say, and I’ll continue to ignore actually reviewing this dude’s songs, even once the album bomb comes next week, if it even does. I think the “(feat. Lil Dicky)” song might be even more dreadfully embarrassing than the “(feat. Quavo)”, actually.

Conclusion

All things considered, this was a below-average week but I had a lot of fun reviewing these songs, so at least most of them were interestingly bad or had intriguing stories behind them. Even if I didn’t review it, the Best of the Week is still going to “Ballin’” by Mustard and Roddy Ricch, with Honourable Mention probably being a toss-up between “London” by M24 featuring Tion Wayne, and “Power Over Me” by Dermot Kennedy. The Worst of the Week is undoubtedly “Birthday” by Anne-Marie, with “Destined for Greatness” by whoever that was by picking up the Dishonourable Mention. This could be one of two or three big weeks on the horizon, so watch out for that and follow me on Twitter @cactusinthebank for my real-time reactions to said weeks, and more pop music ramblings. Thank you for reading!

REVIEWING THE CHARTS 2020

[retrauxpunk]

Tagged by @younglusts, thank you!

Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people

THE LAST:

1. Drink: Peppermint tea

2. Phone call: I think it was from an online money transfer service so I could change the phone number associated with my profile (ah the administrative joys of moving countries)

3. Text message: Mike (the boyfriend)

4. Song you listened to: Jason Derulo’s ‘Want to Want Me’

5. Time you cried: A few days ago lmao

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: Yes... twice officially and another third time unofficially AKA for every single relationship I’ve had because that, apparently, is my dating trademark

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: SO MANY??? A disproportionate number of my people-I’ve-kissed have been terrible regretful decisions

8. Been cheated on: Yes

9. Lost someone special: Broadly speaking? Yes

10. Been depressed: Not clinically, I think

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Yes. Once. On a cruise ship in the Mediterannean after seriously abusing the unlimited drinks package we’d purchased.

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLORS:

12. Pink

13. Yellow

14. Teal

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: Yes

16. Fallen out of love: No

17. Laughed until you cried: I don’t think this has ever happened! Which is disappointing!!

18. Found out someone was talking about you: Yes, in a fucking ridiculous chain of events which, 5 years later, still grinds my gears

19. Met someone who changed you: Yeah

20. Found out who your friends are: I mean I guess sure yes, that’s ... a key part of leaving school, it seems

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Yes

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: All of them

23. Do you have any pets: No

24. Do you want to change your name: Yeah, kinda. I mean, I go by Rain online and to a few close friends and that’s a nickname I happened to pick myself so I guess I have already done so, in a way.

25. What did you do for your last Birthday: oh my god my boyfriend took me to the Melbourne Comedy Festival and we saw a shit-ton of shows and then he surprised me with tickets to the Book of Mormon, during which I was absolutely intoxicated, and it was incredible

26. What time did you wake up: 6?

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping, I think

28. Name something you can’t wait for: my ASOS order to arrive! I just bought two dresses and a pair of shorts. I need to now not buy any more clothes until I get a job because otherwise I’ll drive myself broke, I CAN FEEL IT

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: A week ago, at the airport

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: I want to HAVE A DESIGN JOB that I’m good at and which pays well. Also, friends. I currently have none in this country lmao

31. What are you listening right now: Traffic sounds

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yes

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: My brain, which has a spectacular ability to latch on to negative things that are no longer relevant and obsess over them for days

34. Most visited Website: probably Tumblr now ... or Inbox

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME

35. Mole/s: A few

36. Mark/s: Some

37. Childhood dream: Artist

38. Haircolour: Naturally black, currently a rather bright kingfisher/peacock-ish blue :D

39. Long or short hair: Short

40. Do you have a crush on someone: *whispers* roger waterssss

41. What do you like about yourself: Drawing and writing ability, and the ability to achieve things if I actually try and work hard

42. Piercings: Just the standard earlobe pair

43. Bloodtype: B? I think?

44. Nickname: Rain! Rainy. Countless others.

45. Relationship status: shacked up with the boyfriend I just moved to another hemisphere with

46. Zodiac: Aries

47. Pronouns: She/Her

48. Favourite TV Show: THERE’S SO MANY. I remember loving Suits and Avatar: The Last Airbender. Black Books and The IT Crowd are also excellent.

49. Tattoos: None

50. Right or left hand: Right

51. Surgery: Mmm I got my wisdom teeth taken out while I was sedated, I guess that counts? Nothing serious

52. Hair dyed in different color: Blue!

53. Sport: Am absolutely terrible at basically all of it, though once I got told I was a natural at horse-riding. I have also picked up (basic) waterskiing quite effortlessly. Everything else I am terrible at (occasionally just average at).

55. Vacation: These are really ... concise questions. I’m going to the States next year. Maybe if I get a job I’ll pop over to Europe or something this year.

56. Pair of trainers: One. Currently in a shipping container somewhere, I think.

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: currently nothing, but wanting: Pasta. Ramen. I miss carby delicious noodles oh my god

58. Drinking: ditto above but: Lemon and mint tea is real nice

59. I’m about to: Get ready to go to ITV Studios for an audience thing

61. Waiting for: Time to leave to go to aforementioned studios

62. Want: My brain to be more chill and to be happy

63. Get married: Yeah at some point

64. Career: WILDLY SUCCESSFUL novelist or graphic novelist

WHICH IS BETTER

65. Hugs or kisses: How dare you make me choose (honestly the best kisses often entail hugs anyway)

66. Lips or eyes: Eyes

67. Shorter or taller: TALLERRRR

68. Older or younger: I’d rather older

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: Stomach

71. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive

72. Hook up or relationship: Relationship overall, though hook-ups have their place too

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a stranger: Oh haha yes

75. Drank hard liquor: Yes

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: Yes, glasses, on a theme park ride. Amazingly, they got reutrned to Lost and Found and I recovered them.

77. Turned someone down: Yes

78. Sex in the first date: No

79. Broken someone’s heart: Yes

80. Had your heart broken: Ugh yes

81. Been arrested: No

82. Cried when someone died: No

83. Fallen for a friend: Only a very acquaintance-y friend, so I don’t think this really fits the spirit of the question

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: Yes

85. Miracles: I mean, I believe in incredibly crazy coincidences/unexplained shit, but not miracles in a religious sense.

86. Love at first sight: Intense attraction at first sight that later blossoms into love, yes.

87. Santa Claus: No

88. Kiss on the first date: Yesssss 

89. Angels: No

OTHER:

90. Current best friends name: Lia

91. Eyecolour: Dark brown

92. Favourite movie: I like heaps but if people ask I’ll say The Matrix

TAGGING! @lucy-pepper @led-head @richard-are-youready @joewalshisokiguess @loserofliverpool @errol-harrison @stroyent @catscoffeeandcactuses @theoccultostrich @ccerebrum @hallowedbethybooty @annaturaldisaster @linnythealien @adamwildesdrawings @four-star-day-dream @whatsersurname @sardoniyx @jd-morrison @if-i-were-a-swan @and-all-that-you-give

(I don’t know why some of these names didn’t come up with links, I’m sorry D:)

[insanemoonfish]

(tag) Wait, these are actually hella cute questions

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? ...I don't remember. I don't think I've ever held someone's hands for more than two seconds.

2. Are you outgoing or shy? Definitely shy. I wouldn't mind being reserved if I wasn't so damn awkward sometimes.

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? Nobody in particular. Maybe a future friend?

4. Are you easy to get along with? I think I am, and I try to be, but it's hard for me to get close to people.

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? I don't like anyone at the moment, and if I did I can only hope they would. I'm apparently not a good judge of character. *sprinkles salt*

6. What kind of people are you attracted to? Genuinely nice and intelligent people.

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? I surely won’t.

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? The first to come to mind is one of my male childhood friends.

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? Not if it isn't about me, about someone I know or about something particularly gross.

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? Can't remember. Such conversations rarely happen.

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? Do I really have to go check...

12. What are your 5 4 favorite songs right now? Not exactly favorites of right now as some I rarely listen to anymore. More like favorites of all time. M2U - gravity Rebecca Sugar - love like you Coldplay - every teardrop is a waterfall + a piano lullaby called Snow Heart.

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? Hmm, I wonder. Some people did that to me a couple of times, but briefly because it was more out of curiosity than affection.

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? No.

15. What good thing happened this summer? Good and bad things happen all the time. Not avoiding the question at all...

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? No.

17. Do you think there is life on other planets? I believe not (damn you Fermi), but... logically... there should be? I hope there is.

18. Do you still talk to your first crush? I cut ties with them because I couldn't handle my emotions, simply put. Childish, I know, but it turned out for the best. They talk to me once in a blue moon these days, but we keep our distance.

19. Do you like bubble baths? I don't think I've ever got one but I'd love to.

20. Do you like your neighbors? Yes, they're quiet and keep to themselves. That's all I want them to be.

21. What are you bad habits? Biting my nails, overthinking, both overestimating and underestimating myself, sighing, misunderstanding or/and neglecting people, I could go on.

22. Where would you like to travel? Take me to the beach, please. Or to an amusement park.

23. Do you have trust issues? Trust Issues? Yes, that's me. Nice to meet you.

24. Favorite part of your daily routine? Going to bed, lol. Seriously though, just going to bed and indulging in that delicious false sense of security under the mattresses. Maybe read a bit on my phone. Forgetting time exists, not having to worry about a thing until I wake up...

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? My face. I think it looks perfectly fine, but it's a face I somehow don't identify with. I know that's weird - maybe I'm just not attached to it? Also, my expression awareness seems to be poor. People asked before what I'm happy about when I'm sad and vice-versa.

26. What do you do when you wake up? Remind myself of why I should get out of bed.

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? I wish I was less pale so people wouldn’t think I’m a vampire.

28. Who are you most comfortable around? My sister, because she manages to be even weirder than me.

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? No.

30. Do you ever want to get married? I'd like to, but I doubt it'll ever happen.

31. Is your hair long enough for a ponytail? Yes, my hair's quite long.

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? No threesomes for me, please. And I can't even name a celebrity from memory.

33. Spell your name with your chin. kikxdcklx... I hope you're happy.

34. Do you play sports? What sports? Nope. I like to swim though.

35. Would you rather live without TV or music? If you mean literal TV and not anything video related, this question is ridiculous. I'll take the music.

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? Only one person. I had my reasons, okay?

37. What do you say during awkward silences? It's an awkward silence, so I say nothing. It's an endurance test my listener has to pass... Jk. I point out something hopefully interesting around us.

38. Describe your dream girl/guy? Similar to that 'what turns you on' question. I'm not picky. If someone's truly trying their best to be a good person, they’ve already won me over, unless they have some serious character flaw.

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? Big stores that have a lot of everything and impersonal customer service.

40. What do you want to do after high school? I'm currently studying Biomedicine in college. I want to get into Biotechnology but I have to study math and chemistry on my own first.

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? I don't know. I'm inclined to say no, that the past repeats itself, but I have no evidence to the contrary. I think it's safe to say that not everyone, in the sense that their doing may have been too vile to be allowed repetition.

42. If you're being extremely quiet what does it mean? That I’m distracted, probably, though I could also be either comfortable or uncomfortable (how paradoxical!).

43. Do you smile at strangers? ...Sometimes. I wish I could keep a poker face at all times. It's easy to get a smile or scowl out of me.

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? Both would be amazing, but since the prospect of swimming around God knows what terrifies me, I'll take the space trip. For the no-gravity time, too.

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? Vague hope...

46. What are you paranoid about? People's intentions...

47. Have you ever been high? No, but I wish I knew what it feels like.

48. Have you ever been drunk? Not by much. I dislike the taste of alcohol and I suspect I'd dislike the consequences of over-drinking even more.

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? Not really? Though, to be frank, I hope nobody knows almost nothing of anything I do. I value my privacy.

50. What was the color of the last hoodie you wore? Plain black.

51. Ever wished you were someone else? Is there anyone rich and healthy around so I can steal their soul?

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? Hard question. We're talking about magic here, right? I'd like to magically be more knowledgeable. Omniscient if possible.

53. Favorite makeup brand? I spend almost nothing on makeup, so guess.

54. Favorite store? I have a cloth store in mind, but it's not that great.

55. Favorite blog? Maybe Wait But Why.

56. Favorite color? Blue, pink, gold, black and white.

57. Favorite food? Salmon sushi.

58. Last thing you ate? Instant ramen. I was craving it, okay? Leave me be.

59. First thing you ate this morning? Instant ramen. *hides*

60. Ever won a competition? For what? Chess and illustration when I was younger. They were just silly school competitions, though.

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? I can't say I was the most obedient or diligent student in middle and high school, but I never came close to being suspended… I think.

62. Been arrested? For what? Woah. Let's not.

63. Ever been in love? Probably not.

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? Well... Someone tricked me into doing it. I didn't really know what I was doing.

65. Are you hungry right now? Not much.

66. Do you like your Tumblr friends more than your real friends? They're all real and thus have the same value to me.

67. Facebook or Twitter? I don't use Twitter.

68. Twitter or Tumblr? I don't use Twitter.

69. Are you watching TV right now? Nope, not even listening to music.

70. Names of your best friends? I'd rather not without their permission, and I don’t plan on asking, so...

71. Craving something? What? Sushi...

72. What color are your towels? White. I hate colored towels, it’s hard to see if they’re wet or dirty.

72. How many pillows do you sleep with? One thin one.

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? No. I love plushies, it’s unfortunate I’m allergic to dust (and too lazy to wash them every week).

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? I donated all the ones I had as a child.

75. Favorite animal? Arctic foxes, aka the cutest creatures alive.

76. What color is your underwear? Lol! Black.

77. Chocolate or Vanilla? Chocolate all the way.

78. Favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate/hazelnut, bubblegum, and mint.

79. What color shirt are you wearing? Dark gray pajamas.

80. What color pants? Dark gray sweatpants.

81. Favorite TV show? I have only seriously watched The Big Bang Theory, Steven's Universe and House for now. Oh and Cosmos!

82. Favorite movie? Can't choose. Maybe that version of Frankenstein that came out in 2015. I really liked that movie for some reason.

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? Uh.

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? Uh.

85. Favorite character from Mean Girls? Uh.

86. Favorite character from Finding Nemo? Uh... I don't know.

87. First person you talked to today? My sister.

88. Last person you talked to today? That's impossible to answer right now.

89. Name a person you hate? Nope...

90. Name a person you love? My best friend.

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? Yes, haha.

92. In a fight with someone? Yep.

93. How many sweatpants do you have? Three.

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? Four or five. I love sweaters and hoodies, I don't have enough of them.

95. Last movie you watched? Can't remember.

96. Favorite actress? Don't care about that.

97. Favorite actor? Don't care about that.

98. Do you tan a lot? I stay in the sun quite often but my skin burns instead.

99. Have any pets? Two cats and one dog, all adopted.

100. How are you feeling? Oh, we don't ask that question around here. Please don't ask. Lol, jokes aside... I'm fine right now, but I'm also always worrying about, um, everything? Like, is there any way to really cope with life? As far as I know I'm a meaningless existence doomed to disappear ignorant of everything. I don't know how I should feel and the only thing that brings me comfort is believing nothing truly matters. Still, I’m working hard in the case there’s hope for us…

101. Do you type fast? Yes.

102. Do you regret anything from your past? Yes.

103. Can you spell well? If I am calm and think before speaking. Otherwise I'm as eloquent as an excited ten-year-old.

104. Do you miss anyone from your past? I miss how some people were back then, and my friendship with some others.

105. Ever been to a bonfire party? Yes, it's great.

106. Ever broken someone’s heart? I doubt it.

107. Have you ever been on a horse? Yes, my parents took me to ride some a couple of times.

108. What should you be doing? You got me! I should be studying.

109. Is something irritating you right now? Yes. I'm expecting a friend today, and her approaching visit time is making me nervous... I can't focus until she's here - actually, I'll be like this until she leaves.

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? It hurts? How exactly? Even if they reciprocate your feelings? Now that I understand the question, yes. Isn’t it interesting how your mind can make your body hurt? In those times somehow my throat aches more than my heart.

111. Do you have trust issues? This question again?

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? My mother. I broke down in the car after something really bad happened. It was a terrible year, I was dealing with suicidal thoughts, mild chronic pain, isolation, social anxiety, violent nightmares, and depression. And despite trying to stop crying immediately she told me to shut up! I'll never understand why she was that insensible. Maybe she was ignorant of my problems in a way I can't fathom because they were so obvious.

113. What was your childhood nickname? Isa, a short version of my first name.

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? I once traveled to a different state when I was 6.

115. Do you play the Wii? I would if I had one.

116. Are you listening to music right now? No.

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? No.

118. Do you like Chinese food? No.

119. Favorite book? Oh, this I definitely can't choose!

120. Are you afraid of the dark? Only in rational cases like walking by possibly dangerous streets. I actually find dark places comforting.

121. Are you mean? I try not to be.

122. Is cheating ever okay? I don't see how it could be.

123. Can you keep white shoes clean? Not in the least.

124. Do you believe in love at first sight? Only in attraction at first sight.

125. Do you believe in true love? I do. True, not selfless and/or unconditional love, okay? That'd be quite inhuman.

126. Are you currently bored? No, this is entertaining.

127. What makes you happy? Serotonin.

128. Would you change your name? I wouldn't care to change it.

129. What your zodiac sign? Leo.

130. Do you like the subway? When it's mostly empty, yes. It's pretty.

131. Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? Screams internally as they'll probably rather leave me than return to the friend zone.

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? Didn't I already answer that?

133. Favorite lyrics right now? M2U - Gravity

134. Can you count to one million? Maybe in hell, that’d be a fitting task for such place.

135. Dumbest lie you ever told? I've always been a terrible liar. Once as a child, I told an obvious, cringe-worthy lie to my teacher thinking I was totally fooling her, don't recall what about. Good thing I at least noticed when she clearly didn't fall for it.

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? Closed.

137. How tall are you? ~1.60 cm.

138. Curly or straight hair? I love curly, messy and/or fluffy hair, but mine's straight.

139. Brunette or blonde? Brunette.

140. Summer or winter? Summer! I can't deal with this cold!

141. Night or day? Night at home, day outside. I have a love-hate relationship with daytime... Sometimes daylight makes me feel wonderful and energized and other times the brightness deeply irritates me.

142. Favorite month? November. I just like how it sounds, lol.

143. Are you a vegetarian? No.

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? Dark.

145. Tea or Coffee? Coffee, but only with milk.

146. Was today a good day? Yes! Though today just started.

147. Mars or Snickers? Neither?

148. What’s your favorite quote? Quotes!! I have a small collection of them that I love so much I made a post about it.

149. Do you believe in ghosts? No.

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? Yes, finally, I'll know the answer to Everything! *leaves in search of a book* I got a dictionary. High-contrast (alto-contraste; I'll translate): technique or process to eliminate, totally or partially, the middle tones in a photo or stamp.

[yourstreetserenade]

@racheloddment did this and because I’m coloring my hair right now and need to kill some time, I’ma give it a shot too. If you’re reading this and want to go consider yourself tagged :)

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people.

THE LAST: 1. Drink: Tea 2. Phone call: my good friend Rick 3. Text message: my sister 4. Song you listened to: some Lana Del Rey track, can’t recall the title but it was from the last album 5. Time you cried: maybe two weeks ago

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: no 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: yes. Reese. 8. Been cheated on: Not that I’m aware of. 9. Lost someone special: yes. 10. Been depressed: I’ve had some serious rough spots, yeah 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: I’ve never gotten drunk, period. I’ve had maybe one drink my entire life.

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: blue, purple, black

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: yeah for sure, some through work and a few cool people through the podcast ;) 16. Fallen out of love: no 17. Laughed until you cried: all the time with my nephew 18. Found out someone was talking about you: yeah, there’s a few toxic bitchy family members, so. 19. Met someone who changed you: I’m stealing your answer Rachel. ‘’Influenced yes, changed no’’  20. Found out who your friends are: in the last few years, absolutely

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: I don’t do Facebook at all. Never have.  23. Do you have any pets: no, but I really want one 24. Do you want to change your name: No, I actually like my name.  25. What did you do for your last Birthday: probably cried tbh 26. What time did you wake up: 11ish 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: probably on Tumblr killing time 28. Name something you can’t wait for: honestly, to see my nephew grow up. I’m just so looking forward to seeing who he becomes. 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: A few days ago. 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: I wish I had more drive, more focus 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yeahhhh and it was a semi-famous Tom too. By that I mean he was in a pretty popular 90′s band which I’m a fan of. I caught him staring at my chest, which I mean, was a proud moment for me. 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: my ear is slightly itchy 34. Most visited Website: tumblr for sure

35. Mole/s: I have one like at the base of my neck and I’ve always kind of thought it was really cute and interesting 36. Mark/s: I had surgery on my right forearm several years back so I have a one inch scar there. I don’t mind it really but for a long while after the surgery I just couldn’t play guitar like I used to. Like rhythm stuff wasn’t too hard but doing any lead parts felt awkward and uncomfortable. It was probably two/three years before I felt like I was myself again in that regard. I think some of it was mental though too. And even now while I think I’m a super capable musician and recovered the strength in my arm I’m just not as fast as I used to be pre-surgery when it comes to lead stuff. 37. Childhood dream: pretty much to be the next Aimee Mann 38. Haircolor: dark brown, with an occasional grey...but i’m coloring it right now to get rid of the grey, so 39. Long or short hair: long hair for sure...my hair is amazing.  40. Do you have a crush on someone: not at the moment 41. What do you like about yourself: i’m hilarious tbh :) 42. Piercings: I had my ears pierced when I was a baby (why do people do that to babies? weird) but that’s it. I don’t do earrings, not my thing. 43. Bloodtype: O 44. Nickname: none that I can think of 45. Relationship status: Single

46. Zodiac: Aquarius. 47. Pronouns: She/her/hers 48. Favorite TV Show: Queer As Folk or The X Files...can’t decide. 49. Tattoos: one ;) 50. Right or left hand: Right. 51. Surgery: my right forearm 52. Hair dyed in different color: nope 53. Sport: I liked to play baseball as a kid 54. sorry this question was eaten try again later ---? 55. Vacation: I took a vacation earlier this year, though it was actually more like a staycation. 56. Pair of trainers: I have so many sneakers it’s ridiculous

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: nothing right now but I was snacking on some sunflower seeds earlier. 58. Drinking: water at the moment 59. I’m about to: rinse my hair out 62. Want: a new guitar...which is ridiculous because I have plenty. I’m at that stage of collecting where I don’t know how many I have. You would think I’d be satisfied but I never am.  63. Get married: I used to think I would but after everything that happened with my ex Lonnie, I don’t think I’ll ever go there. 64. Career: I’m a that stage of life where I really need to step up and start making things happen and I’ve had opportunities placed in front of me but the truth is that I’m really afraid of failure. It’s because of that fear that I sometimes hold back from getting what I want and going where I want to go.  

WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses:  it really depends on who’s giving them 66. Lips or eyes: eyes 67. Shorter or taller: omg, tall for sure. Then again I’m mega short, at like five feet exactly so it doesn’t take much to be taller than me. But everyone I’ve ever been seriously involved with has been six feet or even taller. I didn’t plan it like that or look for it, it just sorta worked out that way.  68. Older or younger: oh man...i have a thing for older, I’m not even gonna lie. I have had friends jokingly refer to me as a sugarbaby multiple times. It’s...complex though. I’m complex.  70. Nice arms or nice stomach: arms...I don’t know why 71. Sensitive or loud: sensitive 72. Hook up or relationship: deep down I am the kind of person who just really wants a one on one relationship with someone but I have some pretty huge intimacy issues, so, it’s not easy for me to get there. For some time I’ve just sorta sustained and entertained myself with hookups, to pass the time I guess. In the future I do want a real relationship. 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a Stranger: no. Kissing for me is very intimate. My heart has to really be in it to kiss someone. 75. Drank hard liquor: no, don’t drink 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: I have like 7 pairs of glasses. I’ve never lost one, it’s more like I’m constantly finding them everywhere. 77. Turned someone down: yeah 78. Sex on the first date: it wasn’t a date-date, but I’ve slept with someone on the same day I’ve met them 79. Broken someone’s heart: I thought I did once. I mean he was crying. But then later on after everything went down, I honestly don’t know if he even had a heart to begin with. 80. Had your heart broken: once. Lonnie. 81. Been arrested: Nope. 82. Cried when someone died: yes 83. Fallen for a friend: once

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: sometimes 85. Miracles: No. 86. Love at first sight: nope. 87. Santa Claus: nope 88. Kiss on the first date: nope

OTHER: 90. Current best friend name: Rick 91. Eye color: brown 92. Favorite movie: The Lakehouse (look I know it sucks but I don’t care!)

[a-dinosaur-a-day]

Answer them all

I should have seen this coming, in retrospect

1. What’s your middle name?

Caroline

2. What are you listening to right now?

As per the last ask; The Violence by Rise Against

3. What was the last thing you ate?

A candy hug (I haven’t had breakfast yet)

4. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?

My Dad

5. Do you drink?

Occasionally, but not heavily 

6. Do you smoke?

Gd no

7. What is the first thing you noticed in someone?

Their excitement about whatever it is they’re talking about

8. What is your hair color?

Brown

9. What is your eye color?

Hazel

10. Do you wear contacts/glasses?

Yup

11. Dogs or cats?

Neither

12. What’s your favorite animal?

Living? Orca whale. Extinct? Maiasaura

13. What’s your favorite television show?

Orphan Black

14. What’s your favorite movie?

Jurassic Park

15. What’s your favorite band/singer?

Rise Against

16. How old are you?

24

17. Do you have a crush on anyone?

Since I’m in a fairly serious long term romantic relationship, I dare say I do

18. What’s your sexual orientation?

Pansexual

19. What’s your favorite color?

Aqua

20. What was your most embarrassing moment?

As per the first ask: 

At one point I was trying to get Max ( @plokool) to get a new hobby and I wanted to talk about putting ships into bottles

What I said was “putting jars into bottles”

At any rate, Max still makes fun of me for that

21. Do you ever wish you were someone else?

All the time, to be honest :/

22. What were you like when you were a kid?

Quiet, I read a lot; very much a know-it-all; got bullied a shitton

23. What would your dream house be like?

Small, with lots of books and birds; and lots of windows so I can look outside

24. What last made you laugh?

Max saying something cute

25. What is your favorite word?

Compassion

26. What is your least favorite word?

Oligarchy. I don’t know why

27. What turns you on?

As per the first ask: Kindness, empathy/sympathy, passion about one’s hobbies, getting excited about things, being nerdy; some physical attributes 

28. What turns you off?

As per the first ask: Cruelty, a lack of willingness to understand, an inability to modify one’s opinions, willful ignorance; not listening to me when I talk 

29. What is your star sign?

Leo

30. What are your favorite books?

Harry Potter (the whole series); Pillars of the Earth; Ishmael/My Ishmael by Daniel Quinn

31. Do you have any siblings?

5 (4 older sisters, 1 little brother)

32. Do you like to dance?

Eh, not really

33. What is your definition of cheating?

Doing something romantic or sexual in nature with someone other than your partner, and you have not agreed to an open or polygamous relationship with them. Having feelings for someone else, but not acting on them, doesn’t count. You can’t help feelings. 

34. Have you ever cheated on someone?

No

35. Do you regret anything?

Tons of shit. Lots of things. 

36. Do you have any phobias?

Spiders 

37. Ever broken any bones?

Nope

38. Ever come close to death?

Yeah

39. What is your religion, if any?

I was raised Catholic. I am currently not Catholic, and am converting to Judaism through the reform movement. 

40. Have you ever been to a psychiatrist/therapist?

Yeah, since my freshman year of high school

41. Are looks important in a relationship?

Eh, they’re important in initial attraction, but not really after that point

42. Are you more like your mom or your dad?

I like to think I’m an even mix of both

43. What is your favorite season?

Fall

44. Do you have any tattoos?

Nope

45. Do you have any piercings?

Earlobes

46. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?

Just the two

47. Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character?

All the fucking time

48. Who is your celebrity crush?

None?

49. Are you a virgin?

Nope

50. Do you get jealous easily?

Eh, only of people who’s lives I wish I had, not of like, friends of Max’s or anything

51. What is your favorite type of food?

Italian

52. Do you ever want to get married?

I’m iffy on the concept but Max and I are eventually going to get married, yes

53. Who was your first kiss with?

My first boyfriend

54. Have you ever been cheated on?

As per the first ask: Probably? The first person I dated was a chicken who refused to break up with me even though they wanted to be with someone else, so I wouldn’t be surprised if they cheated on me before breaking up with me. 

55. What is your idea of the perfect date?

Going to the Field Museum or some equivalent and spending the whole day together looking at fossils :D Alternatively, the zoo, but looking at birds

56. Are you an introvert or an extrovert?

I honestly have no idea. I need alone time to “recharge,” but too much alone time makes me ridiculously depressed, so both I guess. 

57. Do you believe in aliens or life on other planets?

Decidedly. 

58. What talent do you wish you’d been born with?

Eh, I don’t think we’re really born with talents. People may have more of a propensity for this or that, but in the end it’s all about what you stick with. 

I wish I had stuck with piano playing more, or with drawing, but I didn’t, which is my own fault. 

59. What is your saddest memory?

Some stuff that happened to me in High School. Or another, equally terrible event in college. I don’t want to bum everyone out about it. 

60. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Gd no. Lust yes, but not love.

61. Do you believe in soul mates?

A part of me does

62. Have you ever dyed your hair?

I dyed the end of it blue last summer! I kind of want to do that again sometime

63. Has someone ever spread a nasty rumor about you?

A lot in high school, sadly 

64. Would you go against your moral code for money?

Right now, given money is very tight, probably :/ But otherwise no

65. What are three things most people don’t know about you?

- I fucking love trigonometry - I enjoy reading the Foxtrot series of comics - I have an unfortunate caffeine addiction 

66. Who are you jealous of?

As per the first ask, Various internet personalities who are actually making decent money from their work in science communication; actual paleontologists 

67. Do you sleep with a stuffed toy?

Too many of them. I have an addiction to stuffed animals

68. How long was your longest relationship?

Max and I have been together for over four years now

69. Is the glass half empty or half full?

Half full

70. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?

I feel like the correct answer is not appropriate for this blog; buuuut honestly just taking an interest and listening to me when I talk about the things I enjoy and am excited about? is a PG answer I suppose

71. Who is your most loyal friend?

Probably Max? But also my friend Sara, whom I’ve known since the sixth grade. We went to different high schools and colleges but we’re still best friends. 

72. Are you in a relationship?

Yup

73. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?

How excited he gets when he talks about his hobbies

74. Are you a bad person?

I like to think I’m not

75. Are you a lover or a fighter?

Lover

76. What did you do on your last birthday?

Went to the zoo with friends!

77. What is your favorite quote and why?

“Nothing in Biology Makes Sense Except in the Light of Evolution” ~ Theodosius Dobzhansky

78. If your best friend died, what would you do?

Oh gd. Since my best friend is Max, I don’t really want to think about it. It wouldn’t be good. 

79. If you had to go back in time and change one thing, what would it be?

How I handled my mental illnesses. 

80. If you only had 24 hours to live, what would you do?

Spend it with Max

81. What is the strangest dream you’ve ever had?

I once had a very long and elaborate set of dreams in which I angered the Capitol and as such had to design a Hunger Games in which all my loved ones were the competitors. It went on for like, a week, and spawned various inside jokes, as @a-sleepy-dinosaur can testify

82. Are you happier single or in a relationship?

I’m happy in my relationship

83. Who were you in a past life?

Probably some sort of bird

84. What is your happiest childhood memory?

Watching dinosaur documentaries with my mom

85. Have you ever experienced unrequited love?

All the bleeping time

86. Have you ever had an imaginary friend?

Yup!

87. If you were the president, what would you do?

Prioritize science & environmentally friendly policies 

88. What is your ideal career?

Honestly? I’d like to be the bird/feather-evolution equivalent of Neil Shubin, if possible

89. What is your political affiliation?

Generally liberal. Most of my opinions are similar to that of Bernie Sanders. But I hesitate to call myself a Democrat. 

90. Are you conservative or liberal?

Liberal

91. Is the male or female body closest to perfection?

This is a very stupid question given trans individuals and the fact that gender =/= biological attributes.

92. Do you like kissing in public?

Definitely!

93. If you could change one thing in the world, what would you change?

Make people better able to consider the humanity of those not in their in-group

94. Where would you like to live?

Edinburgh

95. Where would you go on your dream vacation?

Scotland XD

96. Describe yourself in one word.

As per the first ask, Tenacious

97. Describe yourself in one sentence.

As per the first ask:

(I know this is a double negative but it’s a stronger statement than doing the positive equivalent)

There has never been a subject I didn’t want to explore to it’s completion.

And I guess I won’t answer any more of these xD

[strawberry-and-neon]

...All of them. Por favor.

*cracks knuckles*

1. The real reason I’m confused is a question that no one thinks about; why does Charlie the tuna advertise for a tuna commercial. Why is he selling us tuna. Why is no one bothered by this.

2. I don’t think I’ve ever gotten good morning texts; but on everyone else’s behalf, this is probably a wise thing.

3. I would only care if they smoked pot instead of doing anything else, like why am I paying for your vices, I’ve got my own to worry over, why am I involved

4. Not particularly, especially if the other is a stranger. Or if the other starts questioning me about god at four in the morning and there’s no one else around

5. Organizing a shit-ton of prompts

6. Nobody; I would not be drunk or lost walking down a road. I don’t drink. I don’t get lost. That is not me. Run.

7. Heaven help the hapless soul who cheats on me, for I have no mercy. And heaven’s the only thing that’s gonna save them.

8. Not particularly, but I’ve been told we have similar personalities

9. Hahahahahahahahahahahaha, no

10. Abient-wise: the thunderstorm that’s going to roll through. Music-wise: Pirates of the Caribbean soundtrack

11. I feel like this is a trick question… so I will give a trick answer. Water, because you can make nearly every liquid drink known to mankind, and the question never specified whether or not you can add things to the liquid.

12. I’ll let you know when I’ve had one; probably wouldn’t care, I get random bruises already

13. Usually around 4am… don’t judge me, 4am is the best time for stuff

14. Uhhh… no, actually, thank goodness

15. I can text fast with one hand. I can text fast with the other. Ironically, I trip myself up when using both hands at the same time

16. I have the annoying habit of trying to answer /everything/, even if it’s ridiculous and doesn’t need an answer, so yes. Just don’t expect it the same day

17. Nope, I don’t think I’ve ever fallen hard for anyone, actually… so can’t hate them *shrugs*

18. Last night, 1 in the morning

19. Yes. 

20. “I bet if I just finish this sentence, I’ll be able to quickly finish this smut piece tomorrow at some point…”

21. I certainly hope there’s no one in this room with me right now

22. No, what, that’d be ridiculous *nervous laughter*

23. I was still doing school, so no, not happier at all. I will only be happy when my mortal enemy is defeated.

24. *the magic conch says* try asking later

25. Uhh, yes, but because of characters. And stuff. You know the stuff. You know why.

26. Black like the void

27. Nope. If they do, I just keep walking, because who are they. How did they find me.

28. …Actually, all my characters are listening to me for a change, this is incredible; it’s a miracle!

29. Absolutely

30. Not really, mainly cause I’ve never kissed anyone. And if I had, there’s a reason they’re my ex. Go right ahead.

31. A family member, about going to IHop this morning; I got chocolate pancakes.

32. Nobody specific, really… okay, I take that back, Tom and Rodrick because they deserve to be hated

33. Nope, unless you count platonic kisses, in which case yes

34. Do I get points if I make up a birthday?

35. According to my horrible math skills, 337 days

36. Um… summer school… vacation in August… I don’t have a summer

37. Yep, but I don’t talk to them as often anymore

38. I am definitely keeping something, but only cause it’s not done yet

39. Possibly, if I could be bothered to remember it

40. See, the great thing about never kissing anyone before is I don’t have to regret a damn thing

41. In certain cases; but if they’re both consenting adults, who cares

42. Available for what? For hire? For dating? For the third Wednesday of October? Yes, I suppose, and no, in that order.

43. Ummm… define “real strong feelings” because I’d argue no…

44. First, I would question why I had to get one; second, I’d probably get a second ear piercing on my left ear. Or third. Why not.

45. Yes, but it depends on the exes

46. I have no regrets; even if I did have any regrets, I can’t have regrets

47. “If I could just sit down and focus, I could get a lot more done” “Don’t be ridiculous, we both know you can’t focus that long anymore, you’d get distracted by literally any passing thought or noise” “But-” “Just sit your butt down and draw, it’s the only thing you can do that you won’t be distracted while doing”

48. I lost one at 7 because we moved; after that, I only lost fake friends, and I‘m okay with losing those

49. I should actually go and kiss someone, that’ll show you

50. Because I told myself to not get into another relationship right now; also because what is “like” and how does this emotion thing work

51. How many questions can there be about kissing?

52. THERE’S ANOTHER ONE :O Nope, I don’t

53. Kit-kats

54. I complimented myself for getting out of bed at a reasonable time, so yes

55. Dude, I wish I knew. Out of the many options, I hope it’s Disney… or Pompeii…

56. I own several foreign coins, a Japanese-made doll, and a few other things from Hawaii and Alaska; yes I know they’re not other countries; but they’re far enough away to be

57. Hmm… at the moment, mostly girls?

58. Texas, it’s the longest place I’ve lived to date; not by much, only slightly

59. A couple months ago, to an optometrist

60. Nope, should I?

61. I watched other people do it and laughed at them, but nope

62. Family members…?

63. In general: The Emperor’s New Groove. At theaters: Guardians of the Galaxy 2. Go watch it.

64. No clue, I’ll ask when I have a boyfriend/girlfriend

65. Uhhh… zero I think?

66. Nope

67. Heck no, I want to live to see graduation

68. No, summer lasts way too long and it’s /hot/. It’s hot right now. There’s no wind, it’s so humid, there’s sun; the only good thing about this is there are regular thunderstorms, but it’s /too hot/.

69. Short and sarcastic

70. Monogamous, I tend to have jealousy issues, so for the safety of human-kind…

71. Not yet, but who knows what will happen

72. Writing about it is fun

73. I can’t even flirt, what the-

74. Coyote take opportunity; coyote see no opportunity, so coyote take none

75. Eyes? Eyes. Yes. Or hair. Maybe. I don’t know. WHy are you asking me this-

76. Mah best friend

77. Does writing about this count? Dude, I won’t even kiss someone I’ve known for less than an hour

78. Again, same answer as above

79. My OTPs doing cute stuff together

80. Sure, kids are great

81. Yerp, once

82. No. What crush. I’ve never seen that crush before in my life. You can’t prove anything, and if you can, you won’t be able to hide

83. Uhhh… what? No.

84. I’ve literally never slow-danced in my life

85. Like fake dating? No, but I’ve considered it a few times

86. Books and chocolate

87. Taurus

88. Eating chocolate covered nuts, blissfully unaware I would be spending the next eight hours binge-watching Series of Unfortunate Events

89. Absolutely; I bake too, I just hate cleaning up afterwards

90. Nope. “I never look back, darling, it distracts from the now”

91. 100% no; I’ll take life as it comes, but I’m definitely not wishing to be in a relationship

92. I don’t really date… mostly monogamous relationships for the time being, but if it were just a one time date thing, sounds like fun; no strings

93. Interest in what? Like shiny things? I love shiny things, especially colorful shiny things… or things that make nice chimey sounds and are shiny and colorful… what were we talking about?

94. The power to punch people over the internet, a fairy to write for me when writer’s block strikes, a button to stop time so I can get enough sleep, and money so I can go places/visit people

95. I don’t even like playing board games, let alone people

96. I kissed two books in one day; I hope they don’t find out

97. If sarcasm counts as teasing, then yes; if not, I can’t help you

98. Nope, but I haven’t to meet Tumblreans, so…

99. No? Well maybe. Sort of. I don’t know. Probably not by conventional standards.

100. No clue, will there be breadsticks… *coughs*

101. Hugs? Wait, how well do I know this person

102. No, just too weird

103. “Nice t-shirt”

104. Umm… raises eyebrows, but is preferable to “doll”… I guess it’s cute?

105. No. Nope. Not happening. Doesn’t matter the sex appeal, not getting into that mess. Pretty obvious what they’re looking for.

106. I don’t even know when people are flirting with me

107. Make out scene between Berin and Correnten; good times…

108. Nope

109. Well I haven’t, but the same doesn’t go for my characters

110. I have a list, but I’m not talking. You can’t make me talk. Ahahahaha!

111. Who /really/ knows who they’re kissing next…

112. No clue, but if I did and they were hinting, I probably still wouldn’t know

113. Maybe? What are you, the FB-

114. Serious relationships, I guess.

115. Nope, haven’t; might happen, I dunno, haven’t gotten that far yet

116. Does anyone really know the answer to that question?

117. Dunno the question, but: Let’s sit around the campfire and sing the campfire song

the C A M P F I R E S O N G song

and if you don’t think that we can’t sing it faster, then you’re wrong

but it would help if you just sing along

[prinxiety-logicalitysanderssides]

1-97 NOW ITS UR TURN I DONT EVEN CARE THAT THIS IS MY MAIN U GOTTA SUFFER TOO

I. BLOODY. DID. IT. ITS TAKEN ME /TWO DAYS/ BUT I’VE DONE IT @princeyandanxiety and I’m tagging @use-it-ironically Ironi u do it too pls. I was subjected to this after I subjected Bella to this so now u have to.

Btw this is NSFW ( some of it) and mentions suicide/depression cause I went there. There is some serious truth tea in this god damnit. I put thought and love into this. And also memes but mostly LOVE and boredom. I also feel like I forgot to answer a question or two but whatever. This is 97 questions long. And it’s 2818 words.

By the end of this, you will understand that I am a wreck

Ask me things1. What’s your middle name? No.

2. What are you listening to right now? The sound of typing cause I’m not listening to music. Also the sound of my breath and the wind in the trees. V/ relaxing. (( that was yesterday, today I’m listening to MCR and sanders Sides videos at a loud volume on chromecast on my tv))

3. What was the last thing you ate? ¼ of a cup of icing sugar. I ate it out of the measuring cup lmao.

4. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? My mum. I do talk to other people, I swear! I’m just not good at phone calls

5. Do you drink? No and I won’t in the future. Lemonade all the way if I have to drink smth.

6. Do you smoke? No and I never ever will.

7. What is the first thing you noticed in someone? Someone as in??? Random or??. In Randoms I usually notice people’s faces and then clothes, especially if they’re eye catching. I notice memorabilia/fan stuff pretty quickly as well.

8. What is your hair color? Brown but I use hair dye to make it partially blue or purple or red sometimes. It doesn’t work very well unless I bleach my hair and I can’t do that till I’m 16 which sucks. I use hair spray every now and again, I have white hair spray and glitter hair spray, and I used to have blue as well. Glitters my favourite . I also have a full rainbow of hair chalk but my friends and I dropped it at one point during the Hair Incident of Grade Eight which is what I’m calling it now.

9. What is your eye color? Blue/Grey ish. 10. Do you wear contacts/glasses? Nope. My mum says I will if I keep looking at my screen for hours on end though. I don’t want glasses cause my 20/20 vision is serving me well and I like it.

11. Dogs or cats? Rabbits.

12. What’s your favorite animal? Rabbits/see above

13. What’s your favorite television show? Gilmore girls. Hands down the best.

14. What’s your favorite movie? I don’t really have one? Princess Bride, Sound of Music and the Captain America movies. Oh and Heathers.

15. What’s your favorite band/singer? I can’t choose but Alessia Cara comes to mind? Scars to your Beautiful? And MCR. And Panic! At the Disco and Fall Out Boy. I’m an emo nightmare tbh

16. How old are you? Bich no u can guess. I’m a minor tho.

17. Do you have a crush on anyone? No. But I want a girlfriend/datemate ( all the boys my age are awful and the girls/nonbinary people r better)

18. What’s your sexual orientation? Pansexual. To keep it simple anyway.

19. What’s your favorite color? Aqua blue/ the green of Australian forests

20. What was your most embarrassing moment? Going up on stage in like,, grade six, for a talent show, that I decided to volunteer for THAT DAY and literally singing which is fine but I kept shuffling not dancing and the other kid I was doing it with was kinda dancing and we fucking sucked. But I’m at a different school half the city away now thank god.

21. Do you ever wish you were someone else? Characters in stories, yeah, but like, I want to be in their universe, with their mind and my mind combined so I’m more them than me but I also remember that I want to give people a piece of my mind and fix the universe and make everyone happy but also have angst before that. I project a lot tbh. Oh well.

22. What were you like when you were a kid? I ran away from the class a lot, a ‘difficult’ and 'problem’ child. I have ADHD.

23. What would your dream house be like? Huge, I would want to have lots of pets and secret rooms and a big library and have it surrounded by country side and let scouts have camps near by and stuff

24. What last made you laugh? There were a few things but I forgot damn. But probably my bunnies antics I swear they r ridiculous sometimes( all the time) (( that was yesterday, today its sanders Sides videos again whoops))

25. What is your favorite word ? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) its called a Lenny and I love it

26. What is your least favorite word? Poo. Or moist. Both are awful.

27. What turns you on? Coffee when I wake up

28. What turns you off? Sleeping pills

29. What is your star sign? Aquarius

30. What are your favorite books? TAMORA PIERCE’S 'The circle of Magic ’ quartet and all of its sequels and Tamora Pierces 'The Lionness’ quartet and her 'Protector of the small’ quartet, really, all of her books. Also the Obernewtyn series which is FUCKING AMAZING. ITS BY AN AUSSIE AUTHOR, ISOBELLE CARMODY WHO IVE MEET TWICE AND THEY R SMAZINGSOWNFKEFKWJCKD YES.

31. Do you have any siblings? Only child, suck it.

32. Do you like to dance?Yes, but I’m not a professional or up to date with the latest ~moves~

33. What is your definition of cheating? This is hard cause my definition is in my head but it’s hard to explain. I’m gonna try though.( ACTUALLY I’m gonna come back and write this later) (( lmao I never did go back and write this but it basically depends on what people in a relationship have agreed it to mean bc I’m tired and this is complicated))

34. Have you ever cheated on someone? No I’ve never dated anyone.

35. Do you regret anything? A few things. Not gonna get into them tho. I do regret not working harder in grade seven and eight.

36. Do you have any phobias? Not really no. I hate leeches with a fiery passion and there are spiders next to my shower which I don’t like but other than that, no.

37. Ever broken any bones? No and I’d like to understand what it feels like tbh

38. Ever come close to death? When I walk anywhere cause I’m yes. Does being suicidal back when I was eleven count? And the fact it recurs every now and again? Also

39. What is your religion, if any? I piece together my own world view, based on many philosophies and science.

40. Have you ever been to a psychiatrist/therapist? I’m going to one rn actually. School counsellor who is great and has lollipops and also let my friends and I play monopoly in her office all lunch. I lost. The bell was about to go so I just flipped the board upside down cause why not? My friends made me clean it up lmao 41. Are looks important in a relationship? Depends

42. Are you more like your mom or your dad? I pray I’m more like my mum as my dad is an awful person tbh

43. What is your favorite season? Whichever one I’m not sneezing in/ when it’s warm/ I don’t really have one

44. Do you have any tattoos? No 45. Do you have any piercings? I did have normal ear piercings but they grew over

46. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? None

47. Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character? Have you met me

48. Who is your celebrity crush? Thomas Sanders

49. Are you a virgin? Again, have you meet me. YES. Obviously.

50. Do you get jealous easily? Define 'jealous’. I mean, kind of. Not usually.

51. What is your favorite type of food? Pasta.

52. Do you ever want to get married?Depends, I mean, LGBT marriage isn’t legal in Australia for whatever fucking stupid reason ( the reason is homophobic pollies, literally 90% of Australia wants fucking gay marriage goddamnit)

53. Who was your first kiss with? Lmao I haven’t had one

54. Have you ever been cheated on? See above

55. What is your idea of the perfect date? ?'not sure tbh?

56. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Extroverted introvert. I like meeting people and i have lots of friends but I also need my space. I’m an introvert.

57. Do you believe in aliens or life on other planets? After seeing the 'thingu’ video, I hope not. I do believe in other life but not as sentient as us? Well, at least I don’t think we will find any sentient aliens now that we elected trump tbh

58. What talent do you wish you’d been born with?Be a great dancer?

59. What is your saddest memory? Not today Satan

60. Do you believe in love at first sight? I believe you can find someone aesthetically pleasing at first sight, at first talk, you can like them for their personality. So kind of? But not really. Movie love sucks tho. Unrealistic.

61. Do you believe in soul mates? Kind of. I wish we had a soulmate au irl

62. Have you ever dyed your hair? See above ( yes)

63. Has someone ever spread a nasty rumor about you?I don’t really look at gossip so??? No? They could be talking about me all the time lmao I got bullied from 11-13 years old but that’s different and now I can’t be fucking bothered to listen to bullies

64. Would you go against your moral code for money?Depending on the circumstances. I’m not evil. Very rarely would I ever do that and I have never actually done that.

65. What are three things most people don’t know about you? . My teachers think I have asbergers(autism) and I agree but my parents don’t . NSFW as hell?? I mean most people would look at my chumb face and think I’m innocent i would guess. . I want a datemate? Like I haven’t really acknowledged that but like every opnow and again this Year and

66. Who are you jealous of? People who get more likes than me

67. Do you sleep with a stuffed toy?Yes, but only if my bed is clean IE It has been washed within the last week. Sometimes I don’t wash my sheets for a month and i don’t want to subject my Rabbit toy to that. She’s thirty-nine years old.

68. How long was your longest relationship? No

69. Is the glass half empty or half full?Half empty, I drank half the water.

70. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you? Nsfw fanfiction for sanders sides. Nah, I don’t really know as I’m still in high school I’m in Grade Nine . So like? How would I know? (But seriously pls write more nsfw)

71. Who is your most loyal friend? My best friend Addy? ( she was the one we tried to comb her hair) or you people

72. Are you in a relationship? Ok this is getting annoying

73. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her? Come ON.

74. Are you a bad person? Depends. Is the scale puppies to trump or a grumpy cat to trump. Cause I’m in the low-middle of the first scale and at the bottom of the second.

75. Are you a lover or a fighter? I wanna fite but I don’t bite and I’m usually just high as a kite.

76. What did you do on your last birthday? Like… nothing. Mum and I have to save money for scout camps ( there’s a big Venture I’m going on at the start of next year, AV2018) and I couldn’t be bothered to have a birthday party when I would have to have one just before or after term starts, my birthday is the 24th of Jan. Usually I have my party like a week after school starts again but I couldn’t be bothered.

77. What is your favorite quote and why? “I’m sceptical that you could, yet intrigued that you may” I got it off a screenshot on tumblr ALSO “What are you looking at?” “ Something Replusive” “I’m not a mirror Karen” from the fanfiction Iris Zero, my fav Hetalia fan fic about Romerica. Also “I’m hella pan with a hella plan” off tumblr.

78. If your best friend died, what would you do? I would be a fucking wreck and I’m not gonna think about it.

79. If you had to go back in time and change one thing, what would it be? If i went back and time and changed smth, i wouldn’t be me anymore, but I would go back and get a proper depression diagnosis bc we knew I had it but I’m a good actor so the doctors couldn’t diagnose the kid who was fucking suicidal great job Australia ANYWAY

80. If you only had 24 hours to live, what would you do? My mum texted me this morning ( btw I did this ask over a couple days) with 'If you die today would you like the last thing you spent your precious life hours on to be tumblr??’ I responded with 'yes’ to be a bitch and also bc I kinda would? I would get all my friends and all of the food I wanted, write my will, etc. I’d go fucking ridiculous with what I’d do tbh. All the adventurous activities .

81. What is the strangest dream you’ve ever had? One time when I was 11, I had a dream I was a princess with a guy servant and a girl lady in waiting/servant and we were all bffs, ( looking normal so far lmao), and then we were getting chased around my kingdom by a guy with a floppy dick which was flopping around like a bendy/wobble pencil. Both friends sacrificed themselves to stop him and made me keep running away lol

82. Are you happier single or in a relationship? I don’t know

83. Who were you in a past life? The human embodiment of Anxiety Sanders

84. What is your happiest childhood memory?Lazy sunny days with my mum. Chores and relaxing. Cooking.

85. Have you ever experienced unrequited love? Not,,,, really,, see above, I,, haven’t really had any experience with love

86. Have you ever had an imaginary friend? I don’t think so?

87. If you were the prime minister , what would you do? Fucking Marriage Equality, Safe schools is mandatory, sexual assault/homelessness/youth in crisis support is fucking fixed and improved, Scouts is connected to schools, primary school system revised, improved and fixed, high school system improved, counselling is better overall, science in all grades, maths teaching is improved over all, teachers can get constructive criticism from students and will LISTEN to them. Abuse is redefined as both emotional and psychical and people start to understand that, neurodivergents are fucking accommodated more, same for disabled people. Mental illness are listened to for fucks sake.

88. What is your ideal career? Engineer, scientist, musician, YouTuber, anything that makes me happy and makes people happy and supports people. I also want money tbh so A) i can donate to charity B) i want to transition and all I fucking love memey products.

89. What is your political affiliation?/90. Are you conservative or liberal? Liberal. When I vote, I will weight my options and choose which ever is the least awful tbh. I’m an intersectional feminist meaning I support poc, the wider LGBT+ community, feminism, people with mental illness, neurodivergents and disabled people.

91. Is the male or female body closest to perfection?Male doesn’t get periods so u decide

92. Do you like kissing in public? I’ve seen people kiss in public ONCE in my life so like?? Do what you want

93. If you could change one thing in the world, what would you change? Unlike my prime minister answer, I’m thinking smaller here : everyone is allowed to transition/get married/ all LGBTAI+ rights are legalised

94. Where would you like to live? Huge house full of secret tunnels and it’s all waterproof and I keep rescue pets and secretly help refugees there so they can get a normal life again. There would be huge libraries. In the countryside as well. Tazmania probably. Or Melbourne in a nice house with my rabbits and datemate/s

95. Where would you go on your dream vacation?I’d want to go on a world tour and meet all my mutuals and the people I am fans of.

96. Describe yourself in one word.Chaotic ( good lmao)(( jk every time i take that chaotic/neutral/lawful quiz I get lawful good but lawful good is was I aspire to be and chaotic good is what I am. ))

97. Describe yourself in one sentenceVery. Fucking. Complicated. Wreck. Who Loves All My Mutuals and Friends So Much.

[a-few-of-my-favorite-turtles]

1-65 vday asks :)

thank you!! xoxo

VALENTINE’S DAY | ASK SPECIAL 1: Do you have a crush at the moment? My beautiful wonderful girlfriend!! She is amazing and blows me away and I know yall hear about her a lot and that’s why. hi honey!!2: Have you ever been deeply in love? I most definitely have (I am right now, tbh, so over the moon)3: Longest relationship you’ve ever been in? a year and a half4: Have you ever changed for someone? Not to impress them, I mean, I change naturally all the time, influenced by the people I’m around a lot5: How is your relationship with your ex? I’m lucky to be friends with the only one that matters6: Have you ever been cheated on? Found out later that someone tried7: Have you ever cheated? no8: Would you date someone who’s well known for cheating? no9: What’s the most important part of a relationship? Communication. All else will follow10: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings? I seem to lean towards serious relationships. Not opposed to flings, just apparently not built for them11: When you are dating someone do you believe in going on “breaks”? a friend of mine who I consider very wise once said “usually a break means a break up” and I’ve yet to see her proven wrong12: How many people have you ever hooked up with?  O.o13: What’s one thing you regret saying/doing in a previous relationship? Hmm, well I regret the hurt I’ve caused14: What age do you think is appropriate for kids to start having sex? It’s not so much age as maturity and ability to understand and give/receive consent. I think 16 is pretty appropriate for the legal age, but we seriously need better sex ed15: Do you believe in the phrase “age is just a number”? to some extent. But as long as everyone’s a consenting adult, other people’s relationships aren’t my business, ya feel?16: Do you believe in “love at first sight”? no17: Do you believe it’s possible to fall in love on the internet? Why not18: What do you consider a deal breaker? Not wanting futures that can work with each other19: How do you know it’s time to end a relationship? When we’re clearly not compatible in who we are/what we want20: Are you currently in a relationship? Happily so!!21: Do you think people who have dated can stay friends? yes 22: Do you think people should date their friends? It’s worked out well for me- besides if you’re not friends with the person you’re in a relationship with, it won’t last very long23: How many relationships have you had? 2.3724: Do you think love can last forever? yes25: Do you believe love can conquer all things? no26: Would you break up with someone your parents didn’t approve of? Not because my parents didn’t approve of them, but it would give me pause27: If you could go back in time and give yourself one piece of advice about dating what would it be? I am worth a partner who actually wants me and will care for me back 28: Do you think long distance relationships can work? Yes!!29: What do you notice first about another person? Probably their body language?30: Are you straight, bi, gay or pansexual? lesbian31: Would it bother you if your partner suffered from any mental illness? No, of course not32: Have you ever been in an abusive relationship? Thankfully no33: Do you want to get married one day? I do34: What do you think about getting your partner’s name tattooed? I can’t commit to any tattoos lol. What if I decide I want a different font?35: Could you be in a relationship without sex? Yes, but tbqh I’d want sex long term36: Are you still a virgin? ye37: What’s more important: Looks or personality? personality38: Do you enjoy love films? Not particularly, but theres some decent ones39: Have you ever given anyone/received roses? i don’t think so40: Have you ever had a valentine? Yes 41: What’s your imagination of a “perfect date”? anything with my girlfriend, I adore her and just enjoy being with her42: Have you ever read “Romeo & Juliet”? lol yes43: What’s more important: Your partner or your friends? Everyone is important44: Would you consider yourself “romantic”? yeah, kinda45: Could you imagine to date one of your current friends? I am dating someone I was friends with, so yes, and it has been a great move46: Have you ever been “friendzoned”? I don’t think so? At least not permanently47: Which “famous couple” is your favorite? Eliza and Ham minus cheating, or Alex and Maggie, if we can count fictional48: What’s your favorite love song? “Helpless” (Hamilton) and “Love Song” (Pippin)49: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? I have, and I’m sorry50: If you’re single, why do you think you are? Not single ^-^51: Would you rather date someone who’s rich but a douchebag or someone who’s poor but a nice guy? Poor but nice girl, thank you very much52: Are you good at giving other people advices regarding dating/ relationships? I try, but like, I’m no wizard 53: Are you jealous of couples when you’re single? Not really54: How important is it to make a relationship official (p.e. on Facebook)? I mean, idk about “official” but I think it’s important that both partners are on the same page about what they expect from the relationship, including how public it is55: Would you consider yourself “clingy”, “overly attached” or “jealous”? I try really hard not to be 56: Have you ever “destroyed” a relationship? Is this like someone else’s? no?57: Do you think it’s silly to consider suicide because of a broken heart? Please if you’re considering suicide, call this hotline: 1-800-273-8255. Suicide is serious, and you deserve help58: Are you the “dominant” or the “submissive” part in a relationship? Equal partner in crime, thank you very much (probably more sub)59: Have you ever forgotten important dates like your partner’s birthday or your anniversary? No, and im gonna try not to start now! 60: What’s your opinion on open relationships? Consenting adults. I don’t care what other people do other than that. I like my relationship as is currently61: Who’s more important: Your partner or your family? Omfg. Okay, in many ways my partner is like family, and this question is ridiculous regardless, everyone’s situations are different and valid 62: How do you define “cheating”? when one partner makes the decision to do relationshipy things outside the relationship without communicating with the other partner/getting their consent 63: Is watching porn while being in a relationship inappropriate? This is something for partners to discuss and decide amongst themselves. 64: Do you think Valentine’s Day is overrated? Lol a little, but it can  be fun 65: Would you consider yourself a “cuddler”? with my girlfriend hell yeah

[pumpkinspicelexatte]

1 through 65 because I want to study you!

1: Do you have a crush at the moment? Yes I always do lol, but maybe one slightly more than crush rn             

   2:Have you ever been deeply in love? Currently am

   3:Longest relationship you've ever been in? 3.5 years        

   4:Have you ever changed for someone? Bpd mirroring says hi            

   5:How is your relationship with your ex? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH        

   6: Have you ever been cheated on? Technically no but guilted into open relationship       

   7:Have you ever cheated? Nope

   8: Would you date someone who's well known for cheating?  Idk maybe depends on factors             

   9:What's the most important part of a relationship? Trust               

   10:Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings? I mostly do serious ones lol      

   11 When you are dating someone do you believe in going on "breaks"? idk i never have but i guess it could be helpful              

   12:How many people have you ever hooked up with? I guess it depends on your definition, it implies casual stuff so I guess 2?            

   13: What's one thing you regret saying/doing in a previous relationship? Something stupid and ridiculous and i hate myself for it.

   14:What age do you think is appropriate for kids to start having sex? i have no idea.         

   15: Do you believe in the phrase "age is just a number"? Slightly yes, obvs as long as people are over 18, but older men and younger girls probably problematically hits me as creepy.         

   16:Do you believe in "love at first sight"? Kinda             

   17: Do you believe it's possible to fall in love on the internet? I have totally done this.        

   18:What do you consider a deal breaker? Racism, transphobia bigotry in general.

   19:How do you know it's time to end a relationship? lolsob i never do.          

   20: Are you currently in a relationship? Yeppers with Em :)

   21:Do you think people who have dated can stay friends? if it doesnt end badly.         

   22:Do you think people should date their friends? Go be poly with your friends everyone

   23:How many relationships have you had? 4 irl, 5 online so 9

   24:Do you think love can last forever? forever idk a lifetime yes

   25:Do you believe love can conquer all things? not abusive partners

   26:Would you break up with someone your parents didn't approve of? nope              

   27: f you could go back in time and give yourself one piece of advice about dating what would it be?You’re a fucking lesbian amy.

   28:Do you think long distance relationships can work? it’s hard but yeah it can          

   29:What do you notice first about another person?Honestly the hair.

   30:Are you straight, bi, gay or pansexual? lesbian              

   31:Would it bother you if your partner suffered from any mental illness?Bother me in a i’m concerned and would try to be mindful of it to help them be happy way? mayb               

   32: Have you ever been in an abusive relationship?All irl bar 1, 1 online was too :/           

   33: Do you want to get married one day? maybe ugh idk bleh this q why   

   34:What do you think about getting your partner's name tattooed?  idk i wouldnt really, a meaningful picture or symbol is more meaningful to be, also what if they change theirname :p             

   35:Could you be in a relationship without sex? Yep         

   36:Are you still a virgin?Nope

   37: What's more important: Looks or personality? personality, but im not gonna lie anf say looks are irrelevant, looks spark that first interest.               

   38: Do you enjoy love films? sometimes havent seen many tbh          

   39:Have you ever given anyone/received roses? yes, and got my first one from em         

   40:Have you ever had a valentine? yes        

   41: What's your imagination of a "perfect date"? I’ve always dreamed of watching a sunset with wine, and then stargazing at night.               

   42:Have you ever read "Romeo & Juliet"? yes problematically idealised it for ages           

   43: What's more important: Your partner or your friends? Both are equally important           

   44:Would you consider yourself "romantic"? Somewhat         

   45:Could you imagine to date one of your current friends? heheheheh after tonight i really could :p         

   46:Have you ever been "friendzoned"? isnt a real thing.        

   47:Which "famous couple" is your favorite? for a straight couple brie bella and daniel bryan are cute         

   48:What's your favorite love song? I guess head over feet by alanis if that counts lol    

   49:Have you ever broken someone's heart? probably          

   50:If you're single, why do you think you are? I’m not        

   51: Would you rather date someone who's rich but a douchebag or someone who's poor but a nice guy? neither, but give me a poor nice girl over any horrible girls anyday

   52:Are you good at giving other people advices regarding dating/ relationships? i certainly give advice i have no idea how good it is.      

   53:Are you jealous of couples when you're single? Yeah i can be           

   54:How important is it to make a relationship official (p.e. on Facebook)?  it’s nice, but FB GET POLY OPTIONS WITHOUT NEEDING CUSTOM CODE.

   55:Would you consider yourself "clingy", "overly attached" or "jealous"?  All of the above lol          

   56: Have you ever "destroyed" a relationship? lolfuck maybe idk uhhhhh  

   57:Do you think it's silly to consider suicide because of a broken heart?Honestly? no ? i’m kinda problematic and think people should be allowed to die for whatever reason whenever they want.              

   58:Are you the "dominant" or the "submissive" part in a relationship? Both in different ways              

   59:ave you ever forgotten important dates like your partner's birthday or your anniversary? Nope

   60:What's your opinion on open relationships? isn’t it basically poly?          

   61:Who's more important: Your partner or your family? partner always, but i have a terrible family lol.         

   62:How do you define "cheating"? I guess anything with anyone else which is outside of relationship terms and agreed behaviours?

   63:Is watching porn while being in a relationship inappropriate? Nope              

   64:Do you think Valentine's Day is overrated? idk but i like appropriating it gayly         

   65:Would you consider yourself a "cuddler"?      lolyes         

I

[thrashermaxey]

21 Fantasy Hockey Rambles

Every Sunday, we'll share 21 Fantasy Rambles – formerly 20 Fantasy Thoughts – from our writers at DobberHockey. These thoughts are curated from the past week's ‘Daily Ramblings’.

Writers: Michael Clifford, Ian Gooding, Cam Robinson, and Dobber

  1. One season does not make a career, but despite the high shooting percentage, it was a marvelous campaign for Hawks’ Erik Gustafsson.

The question is if he maintains his power-play role; he had more than 100 minutes at five-on-four over the next-closest Blackhawks defenseman. Henri Jokiharju looked great whenever they allowed him to play in the NHL, while Adam Boqvist was a top-10 pick last year for the franchise and has been tearing up the OHL playoffs.

It seems certain that unless he falls off the map (he won’t), Gustafsson should have the PP role for 2019-20. Beyond that? Less certain. (apr12)

  2. You know who the Leafs don’t need? William Nylander. I mean, sure you could use a second-line talent with good first-line upside. But they have enough of those and could shed one if it means keeping a top-six character player who brings other things to the table.

Since Nylander makes the money he does, logically he would be the best one to shed. Still shaking my head over that “not trading Nylander” comment from Kyle Dubas. Nylander is a great top six forward, perhaps even a first liner, but there are several dozen of him in the league – most definitely not a rare commodity.

And if he costs the team keeping the likes of Andreas Johnsson or Kasperi Kapanen (I won’t even consider them losing Mitch Marner over keeping Nylander, I shudder), and prevents the team from acquiring a No.3 or 4 D, then that’s too big a sacrifice. (apr8)

  3. The reason I am not a big fan of Alex Nylander in keeper leagues? Injuries. He had himself a nice season this year taking a big step forward in his pro career after a couple of steps backward. But he had a different injury wipe out two of his training camps, back-to-back, and then finally getting an opportunity with Buffalo that looks as though he is there to stay – and he gets hurt again.

If every time Nylander gets some sort of opportunity, or gets on a role he suffers an injury, he’s never going to get going. There are too many other prospects to roll the dice on, so I’ll leave the younger Nylander to someone else.

I just realized I’m kinda trashing on both Nylander brothers today. Time to write something nice: Both have tremendous upside and I really like William as a potential first-liner – no matter what team he plays for. In fact, I think it’s better for both him and the Leafs if he went somewhere else. He would flourish elsewhere and they would address some serious needs. (apr8)

  4. By far the biggest question regarding the Flames entering the playoffs was their goaltending. Mike Smith had been downright awful during significant stretches of the season, so would he be able to hold up during the playoffs? Why didn’t the Flames give David Rittich a go instead?

Smith has found his game and then some. Since he doesn’t fit the definition of a stud goalie, he fits the definition of a hot goalie, which can just as well get the job done in the playoffs if he can be hot for long enough.

Even though Smith has a brief playoff history for a goalie of his service time, his career playoff numbers are outstanding (11-8, 1.79 GAA, .947 SV% entering Game 2). Maybe that could have counted for something in coach Bill Peters’ decision to start him in Game 1? The numbers aren’t recent, though, as his last playoff experience was in 2011-12 when he led the Coyotes to the conference final (his playoff numbers are mainly from that season). It’s more likely that Smith’s much-improved play swayed the decision (9-5-1, 2.08 GAA, .916 SV% since February 14). (apr14)

  5. This year’s Dobby Awards!

Fantasy Player of the Year: Andrei Vasilevskiy. It’s not a coincidence that the teams that won each of my leagues that involve goalies, owned Vas. As I noted to one GM when we were discussing the fairness of the goalie points system in that league: “Owning Vasilevskiy under these rules right now is like owning Gretzky in 1986.”

Vasilevskiy  only played 53 games thanks to a broken foot, and yet he still managed 39 wins. If healthy all year, he may have taken a run at 50 wins. He also boasted a 0.925 SV% in an era where goaltenders don’t really do that very often.

Runner-Up: Nikita Kucherov, who finished with 128 points, 12 more than the next player and the highest total in 23 years. (apr8)

  6. Fantasy Rookie of the Year: Jordan Binnington. I wrestled with this one for a long time because I’m a huge Elias Pettersson fan and feel he will be an elite player. As in, top-5 in the league. Meanwhile, Binnington could Jim Carrey his way out of the NHL and become this massive bust. But we’ll always remember this year.

In the end, I asked myself: which rookie did the most to help a fantasy owner win? And frankly, Winnington turned more than a few fantasy squads around on his own this year. So, even though I would much sooner own runner-up Pettersson and honorable-mention Rasmus Dahlin by a wide, wide, ridiculously wide margin in keeper leagues, Binnington has to be the ROY in fantasy hockey. (apr8)

  7. Fourth Year Magic Award: Dylan Larkin teased in Year 3 with 63 points and then took another huge step this season with 73. This is quite the feat when you consider that no other Detroit player reached 55.

Runner-Up: Max Domi jumped from 45 points in his third year to 72. He was a big reason why the Habs made it to Game 81 before finally being eliminated from the playoffs. (apr8)

  8. Second-Half Stud Award: Patrick Kane’s 59 points in 39 games tied Nikita Kucherov in scoring since January 5. It was also a nice jump from his already-solid first-half pace of 51 points in 42 games.

Runner-Up: Sean Couturier, who had 47 points in the last 42 games after starting out with 29 in 38. This was despite managing just three points and going minus-9 in the final seven contests. (apr8)

  9. Second-Half Swoon Award: Patrik Laine had 20 measly points in the last 49 games after starting the season with 30 in 33.

Runner-Up: Jeff Skinner was a revelation with 44 points in 45 games to start the year. He was going to demolish his career high of 63 points, no question about it. That is, until he didn’t. Just 19 in his last 37 to finish up with, you guessed it, 63 points. Congrats to anyone who traded either of these players in January. (apr8)

  10. Although Art Ross Trophy winner Nikita Kucherov was the top-ranked player in playoff pools, he has been held without a point in two games so far and will still be scoreless in the playoffs after Game 3 because of his one-game suspension.

Steven Stamkos and Brayden Point, who were projected to go second and third, have also been held without a point in the first two games (see our Dobber Hockey Experts Panel picks for more). In addition, Kucherov has been held to just two goals in his last 14 playoff games. He’s been getting it done and then some in the regular season, but not so much in the playoffs when the intensity is turned up several notches.

So, if the Lightning is eliminated in the first round, does that mean the folks that didn’t pick any Lightning players will win their playoff pools? It probably isn’t that simple, but it goes to show that playoff pools aren’t as easy to predict as you might think and sometimes a counterintuitive strategy (although more risky) wins in the end. The silver lining is that if the Bolts come back and win this series, you’ll probably get the same four or five games of production out of them than you thought you would receive from them in the first round anyway.

It's funny how in two short games that the narrative on the Lightning has shifted from being the model franchise to the ultimate choke team. A win in Game 3 would go a long way toward righting the ship. A loss, well… (apr14)

  11. Jordan Weal has teased us at the end of the season like this before. And the last time he did it, he was set to become a UFA and earned himself a two-year, one-way contract.

I think his progress was derailed by the Flyers lucking into the draft lottery win and adding Nolan Patrick to the lineup. It nudged Weal down the roster and he hasn’t done much of anything since.

Here he is, set to become a UFA again and he ends things in Montreal with eight points in nine games. What kind of contract he earns from that should determine how much of a chance he will get. And to be fair, he had plenty of top-six opportunities in Arizona, but couldn’t find the chemistry. He is clearly a guy who will lean on chemistry with a talented player for his points. (apr8)

  12. Vince Dunn has long been thought of as an offensive defenseman. He had 99 points over his final 120 games in the OHL, and had 45 points in 72 games as a 20-year old rookie in the AHL back in 2016-17.

All I’m saying for now is that I’m leery of predicting some sort of Erik Gustafsson-esque breakout. In St. Louis, there is still Alex Pietrangelo’s ice time to contend with and Colton Parayko isn’t someone to just eschew. Of course, Dunn is still just 22 years old, so the fact that we’re even talking about him potentially being an offensive factor from the blue line is a very good sign. (apr12)

  13. When we look at the list of top producers per minute from the blue line at five-on-four, most of the names make sense. We see Torey Krug, Dustin Byfuglien, Keith Yandle, Victor Hedman, and Morgan Rielly, among others. Who’s the defenseman that finished second in points/60 minutes at five-on-four this year (minimum of 100 minutes)? It was Rangers’ Neal Pionk.

In fact, over the last two years, Pionk leads all defensemen in points/60 minutes on the power play. Yes, all defensemen. Granted, it’s limited ice time (140 minutes or so) but it’s been an unbelievable run.

I think a bit of caution should be used here. Pionk had a poor season defensively, as much of the rest of the team did. Tony DeAngelo had a good season for the team even if coach David Quinn wouldn’t play him every night. Kevin Shattenkirk is still lurking and I’m sure he’d like to have a rebound season of his own. I’m not entirely sure what the Rangers are going to do on the blue line next year. I’m not entirely sure the Rangers know what the Rangers are going to do on the blue line next year.

There could be some sneaky value here should: A) Pionk be a regular next year again and; B) no one else is brought in. There are a lot of moving parts that can change in the next 5-6 months. (apr12)

  14. I’m interested to see what Robin Lehner’s contract ends up being this summer. A lengthy postseason run with the Isles could mean a significant pay raise. Cap league owners are watching carefully. (apr11)

  15. In spite of the loss in Game 2 vs the Predators, Ben Bishop was stellar, stopping 40 of 42 shots to keep the Stars in this game. With his 1.92 GAA and .946 SV% in two playoff games, Bishop is carrying a strong regular season into the playoffs, where he has been the Stars’ best player so far. Bishop finished the regular season with a 1.98 GAA and .934 SV% and seven shutouts, which are numbers that could result in a Vezina Trophy nomination. (apr14)

  16. David Savard had a marvelous season for Columbus. It’s a shame he’s stuck behind Seth Jones and Zach Werenski on the PP depth chart. I would like to see him get top power play minutes sometime. (apr11)

  17. So, I wanted to take a stab at what the NHL might look like in four years. Ready to be made a fool of again? I am.

A lot of stars have signed huge contracts in recent seasons with lengths of anywhere from six to eight years. A lot of those contracts will be running out in the same three-year span, and that will lead to a lot of talent in unrestricted free agency, even if they’re older.

Per Cap Friendly, here are some of the names that could theoretically be available after the 2022-23 season: Patrick Kane, Vladimir Tarasenko, Jonathan Toews, David Pastrnak, Sean Monahan, Nathan MacKinnon, Dylan Larkin, Ryan O’Reilly, Max Pacioretty, James van Riemsdyk, Jonathan Huberdeau, Shayne Gostisbehere, and Bo Horvat. That kind of talent in a single free agent class is almost surreal.

Of course, as alluded to, a lot of players will be in their 30s by that point. There are a handful of guys who will be in their mid-to-late 20s like MacKinnon, Pastrnak, Monahan, and Larkin. With the likelihood of a lockout looming, will some of the older players not named who will also be UFA like Milan Lucic, Kyle Okposo and Duncan Keith be bought out?

The younger guys, I’m sure, will be extended by their current teams. What about everyone else? Wouldn’t it be cool for Toews and Kane to do what Paul Kariya and Teemu Selanne did and take cheap contracts to sign somewhere together? Regardless, in a few years’ time, there will be a lot of high-profile free agents that will start hitting the market. (apr10)

  18. It seems pretty likely that Colorado is one of the top teams in the league in four years, isn’t it? They’ll have Nathan MacKinnon and Mikko Rantanen on the roster, Samuel Girard will be a top-tier puck-mover, Cale Makar has the look of a future Norris Trophy contender, and then there’s Ottawa’s top pick from this year. There will be a great core to build around and if management can manage to not pull an Edmonton or Buffalo, it will hopefully be a championship core.

Of course, there is a lot else the team will have to deal with. Their captain, Gabriel Landeskog, is a free agent after the 2020-21 season. Will he still be around? Will Tyson Barrie? Will any of the young guys currently on the roster like J.T. Compher, Alex Kerfoot and Tyson Jost be making an impact on the 2022-23 roster? This is certainly a team on the rise, but the toughest leap to make is from a good team to a championship-calibre team. Can the Avs be that team?

I say yes. There were some early bumps in the road but the Avalanche management group has made solid deals over the last year or so. As long as they can keep making positive deals for the franchise, there’s no reason to believe they’ll flounder. I believe that in April 2023, we’ll be talking about the Avalanche as one of the top franchises in the league, returning to the glory they enjoyed early in the franchise’s existence. (apr10)

  19. Cale Makar is the 2018-19 Hobey Baker winner. After playing in Saturday’s championship game, it’s possible that he could debut with the Avalanche as early as Game 3 on Monday night. Of course, we’ll be keeping an eye on the top prospect blueliner should he enter the Avs’ lineup. With 49 points in 40 games with UMass, the 2017 fourth overall pick is definitely a blueliner that should be heavily sought-after in keeper leagues. (apr13)

Not that I’m not looking forward to seeing Makar in the NHL, but what an introduction to the top professional hockey league; “Here ya go kid, you’re starting your career in a playoff series against the top team (Flames) in the West.” (apr11)

  20. Dustin Byfuglien was injured on December 29. He returned in early February for five games and then was injured again, not returning until the end of March. That’s important because Byfuglien is a top-pair defenseman whose relative expected goals against numbers were among the top-20 defenseman league-wide this year.

Over the last three years, Mark Scheifele’s shot share numbers drop from nearly 53 percent to under 49 percent when he’s not on the ice with Byfuglien, while Bryan Little’s drops from 52.2 percent to 49.2 percent. Big Buff is an important player. (apr9)

  21. Legendary coach Joel Quenneville was hired by the Florida Panthers to be their next bench boss last Monday. He replaces the recently fired Bob Boughner and will try to take the Panthers to the playoffs for the first time in four years, and past the first round for the first time in over 20 years. You can read Dobber’s take on the hiring here.

All I will say is that I do not believe coaching was and is the issue with the Panthers. I’ll leave it at that. (apr9)

  Have a good week, folks!!

  from All About Sports https://dobberhockey.com/hockey-home/21-fantasy-hockey-rambles/21-fantasy-hockey-rambles-13/

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All of them

Thank you, kind anon

1: Do you have a crush at the moment?Yes

2: Have you ever been deeply in love?Yes

3: Longest relationship you've ever been in?Running, roughly 2 and a half years. Off and on, roughly 5.

4: Have you ever changed for someone?No.

5: How is your relationship with your ex?We don’t speak anymore

6: Have you ever been cheated on?Not admittedly

7: Have you ever cheated?We don’t talk about this one.

8: Would you date someone who's well known for cheating?Well known? No. 

9: What's the most important part of a relationship?Trust/communication.

10: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?I can’t do flings.

11: When you are dating someone do you believe in going on "breaks"?No. 

12: How many people have you ever hooked up with?One

13: What's one thing you regret saying/doing in a previous relationship?Cheating.

14: What age do you think is appropriate for kids to start having sex?When they’re ready and comfortable, if they’re smart about it.

15: Do you believe in the phrase "age is just a number"?To an extent. I know many successful relationships with roughly 10 years difference in age, but there is a line where it is just ridiculous.

16: Do you believe in "love at first sight"?Yes.

17: Do you believe it's possible to fall in love on the internet?Yes.

18: What do you consider a deal breaker?Sense of humor

19: How do you know it's time to end a relationship?It’s hard to explain, you just know.

20: Are you currently in a relationship?Happily

21: Do you think people who have dated can stay friends?No

22: Do you think people should date their friends?Depends on the friend.

23: How many relationships have you had?4

24: Do you think love can last forever?It can

25: Do you believe love can conquer all things?To an extent, yes

26: Would you break up with someone your parents didn't approve of?No. If I like someone, that’s what matters. 

27: If you could go back in time and give yourself one piece of advice about dating what would it be?Don’t be an idiot

28: Do you think long distance relationships can work?Yes

29: What do you notice first about another person?I can never really answer this, its different with each person

30: Are you straight, bi, gay or pansexual?Straight

31: Would it bother you if your partner suffered from any mental illness?I would want to help them, and it would upset me if they were upset, but only in the way that I don’t like seeing the people I care about being hurt. 

32: Have you ever been in an abusive relationship?No

33: Do you want to get married one day?Absolutely

34: What do you think about getting your partner's name tattooed?No

35: Could you be in a relationship without sex?I can

36: Are you still a virgin?Nope

37: What's more important: Looks or personality?Personality 100%

38: Do you enjoy love films?Eh, depends on if/who Im watching them with

39: Have you ever given anyone/received roses?Nope

40: Have you ever had a valentine?Today pretty much marks the only time I’ve had a valentine. February has pretty much sucked with the exception of two separate years

41: What's your imagination of a "perfect date"?Laying in bed with someone, watching tv or listening to music, just talking about life.

42: Have you ever read "Romeo & Juliet"?Had to for class

43: What's more important: Your partner or your friends?Neither. If I had the choice between dinner with my partner or with friends, I’d go with my partner. However, my friends are important to me, and if my partner wants me to stop being friends with them, thats a dealbreaker. 

44: Would you consider yourself "romantic"?I can be on occasion

45: Could you imagine to date one of your current friends?I am dating what was arguably my closest friend

46: Have you ever been "friendzoned"?Yes

47: Which "famous couple" is your favorite?Chandler/Monica from Friends. Yes it counts. 

48: What's your favorite love song?I don’t really know

49: Have you ever broken someone's heart?Eh, probably. 

50: If you're single, why do you think you are?Am not single

51: Would you rather date someone who's rich but a douchebag or someone who's poor but a nice guy?Nice person 100%

52: Are you good at giving other people advices regarding dating/relationships?I think I am but honestly I probably give terrible advice

53: Are you jealous of couples when you're single?Not really

54: How important is it to make a relationship official (p.e. on facebook)?It doesn’t have to be on facebook to be official

55: Would you consider yourself "clingy", "overly attached" or "jealous"?I am really clingy and can get jealous, but I don’t think its too much.

56: Have you ever "destroyed" a relationship?I have. But it all worked out in the end so, moving on

57: Do you think it's silly to consider suicide because of a broken heart?Yes. I know it hurts, but keep your head up. Your person is out there.

58: Are you the "dominant" or the "submissive" part in a relationship?Woah there pal, that’s not public information. Though it isn’t that hard to guess.

59: Have you ever forgotten important dates like your partner's birthday or your anniversary?I forget literally everything

60: What's your opinion on open relationships?It’s not a relationship if you’re fucking [with] other people

61: Who's more important: Your partner or your family?Partner. I wouldn’t consider myself to be really close with anyone in my family except my sister.

62: How do you define "cheating"?If you don’t want your partner knowing about it, its cheating

63: Is watching porn while being in a relationship inappropriate?Thats for the couple to decide, Im not one to judge.

64: Do you think Valentine's Day is overrated?Kinda

65: Would you consider yourself a "cuddler"?Hell yes

[alliex0405]

1-65. All of them

1: Do you have a crush at the moment?Yes I do 2: Have you ever been deeply in love? Yes3: Longest relationship you've ever been in? Umm a year and 9 months4: Have you ever changed for someone? Nope5: How is your relationship with your ex? We don't talk anymore like at all6: Have you ever been cheated on?Yes7: Have you ever cheated?No8: Would you date someone who's well known for cheating?Nope9: What's the most important part of a relationship?Communication and trust10: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?I tend to fall hard and fast so flings usually turn into big heartbreaks for me11: When you are dating someone do you believe in going on "breaks"?Not really, I've gone on "breaks" in previous relationships and they didn't really help anything12: How many people have you ever hooked up with? Uhh...3 or 4? I think13: What's one thing you regret saying/doing in a previous relationship?Getting into it when I knew I didn't have the time/energy to give to that person14: What age do you think is appropriate for kids to start having sex?Not really quite sure15: Do you believe in the phrase "age is just a number"?Ehhhhh....kinda16: Do you believe in "love at first sight"?No17: Do you believe it's possible to fall in love on the internet?Yes18: What do you consider a deal breaker?Umm not too sure. Just don't be a dick?19: How do you know it's time to end a relationship?When you're no longer happy with that person or you spend more time upset than happy20: Are you currently in a relationship?Nope21: Do you think people who have dated can stay friends?Yes22: Do you think people should date their friends? I mean I thinks it's better to be friends first and get to know the person before you start dating so sure23: How many relationships have you had?324: Do you think love can last forever?Yes but you have to work at it25: Do you believe love can conquer all things?No26: Would you break up with someone your parents didn't approve of?Probably not27: If you could go back in time and give yourself one piece of advice about dating what would it be?Take things slow28: Do you think long distance relationships can work?Yes29: What do you notice first about another person?Well their physical appearance obviously, do I find them physically attractive30: Are you straight, bi, gay or pansexual?I'm bi31: Would it bother you if your partner suffered from any mental illness?No, I suffer from quite a few myself32: Have you ever been in an abusive relationship?No33: Do you want to get married one day?Yes34: What do you think about getting your partner's name tattooed?That's a big no no35: Could you be in a relationship without sex?Hell no36: Are you still a virgin?Nope37: What's more important: Looks or personality?Personality38: Do you enjoy love films?Not really39: Have you ever given anyone/received roses?Received, yes40: Have you ever had a valentine?Yes41: What's your imagination of a "perfect date"?I'm happy with Netflix and pizza haha42: Have you ever read "Romeo & Juliet"?Yes43: What's more important: Your partner or your friends?Friends 44: Would you consider yourself "romantic"?Kinda sorta45: Could you imagine to date one of your current friends?No46: Have you ever been "friendzoned"?No47: Which "famous couple" is your favorite?Umm don't really have a favorite 48: What's your favorite love song?None49: Have you ever broken someone's heart?Yes50: If you're single, why do you think you are?Because life is crazy and I just don't have the time, but now that things are different, that might change51: Would you rather date someone who's rich but a douchebag or someone who's poor but a nice guy?The poor, nice guy52: Are you good at giving other people advices regarding dating/ relationships?Nope. My advice to everything is dump their ass53: Are you jealous of couples when you're single?Kinda54: How important is it to make a relationship official (p.e. on facebook)?Ehhh not too important55: Would you consider yourself "clingy", "overly attached" or "jealous"?All of the above, even if I don't like to admit it56: Have you ever "destroyed" a relationship?No57: Do you think it's silly to consider suicide because of a broken heart?Yes I think it's just ridiculous 58: Are you the "dominant" or the "submissive" part in a relationship? I'm submissive in the bedroom, but dominant everywhere else59: Have you ever forgotten important dates like your partner's birthday or your anniversary? Nope60: What's your opinion on open relationships?Not for me but to each their own61: Who's more important: Your partner or your family?Family62: How do you define "cheating"?Anything that you have to hide from your partner. Be it sleeping with any other person or flirty texts63: Is watching porn while being in a relationship inappropriate?Nope. 64: Do you think Valentine's Day is overrated?Very much so65: Would you consider yourself a "cuddler"?Oh hell yea. I could cuddle all damn day