#which is probably annoying to hear cause i say it everytime i make a post

[mulletmitsuya]

motivation to do well in school is gone. i'm tired

[sailorhyunjinz]

I always wonder how skz would react to an s/o with a LARGE SEX DRIVE SHSBDBS idk like guys r usually super horny but imagine if u were hornier than them HAHA

BRRRAH QUICK REACTION POST!

warnings: mostly dom!skz x gn!reader. impact play, nicknames, hickies, masturbation, exhibitionism, overstimulation, slight dacryphilia, sex toys, daddy kink, riding, degradation, dumbification. 

Bangchan: 

The thing is not that he wouldn’t like it,,, more like he would be tired?

Sure,,, he has good stamina but he would more prefer longer sex sessions that are more intimate and romantic rather than a bunch of quickies.

but thats like... 95% of the time, the remaining 5% is dicking you down so hard you won’t be able to walk because “you asked for it, you dumb fuck”

BUT THATS RARE

you would really have to get him worked up in order for that to work

and even then he would only go for maybe 2 rounds

“c-chan... one more time~” you said after cumming for the third time that night. “y/n, arent you sleepy?” he says, chuckling. you shake your head, “just one more time!” you say all giddy to which bangchan sighed. 

Minho:

ok now hear me out, im not gonna mix astrology in here,,, but i am going to mix astrology in here lmao

this boy a scorpio

a scorpio

meaning his intimate parts rule over his body (JUST SAYING TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT)

so he loves this. A LOT

any opportunity to be inside of you he’ll take

he’s hella horny and would like a s/o that matches that aura so HEY! fits perfectly (thats what she said)

show any sign of a sexual act and he wont hesitate to slam you against a table

legit as small as licking a lollipop 

“stop that unless you want my dick in your throat” he says, not even looking up from his phone as the sounds of you sucking a lollipop fills the room. you don’t stop, no, you go even harder. he looks up from his phone. “is that a yes?”

Changbin:

ahh... binnie binnie is head over heals for this

he finds it extremely hot that you initiate the sex most of the time

it shows that you really want him 

and he likes attention and feeling appreciated so this works

also has kind of a firey attitude

meaning that he gets worked up real quick

just like minho it doesnt take much for him to notice your sexual signs

“binnie~ i need you” you whisper in his ear as he’s working on something on his computer. you drag your lips across his neck and nibble on his ear before he turns around and glares at you with dark eyes. “princess/prince wanna play that game huh?”

Hyunjin:

shy to initiate so this makes it easier for him 

his stamina is relativly high

but i feel like there would be kiiind of a gap between the two of you since he’d be completely exhausted after a couple of rounds but you beg for more.

leaving him with no other choice but to give it to you

since he loves you too much to say no ><

i feel like he’d make fun of you for it 

LMAO I DONT KNOW WHY BUT JUST HE’D FIND IT FUNNY THAT YOU’RE ALWAYS SO DESPERATE

“hyunjin,, please!” you says in the nicest tone you could muster but only being mocked by hyunjin copying you in an annoying voice

“HyUnJiiinNn~” you burst into laughter, hitting him playfully on the shoulder. “thats what you sound like y/n!!”

but nah most of the time he will take it but always with some playfulness first. 

Jisung:

HORNY TEENAGER JISUNG AGENDA

all the time

no matter where or when

some of yall are about to be real mad at me but it must be said HASHAHAH STOP CHER STOP

he just gives me this hormonal teenager vibe

and so there’s a lot of fucking in a lot of unconventional places

simply because his angel wants it

it even borders to him being even hornier than you but you find joy in that

you’ve lost count of how many times you’ve caught him watching porn or masturbating BECAUSE IT HAPPENED OFTEN

and everytime it would lead to heated sex that could last for hours

“h-help me y/n! dont just stand there s-staring” he says, blushing a bit as he openly strokes his dick infront of you. you shrug your shoulders, closing the bedroom door and inching closer to the warm boy.

Felix:

tough one to read... hmmm.... 

honestly he wouldn’t mind

sure he’d be tired 

and therefore he’d rather prefer seeing you ride a dildo or something

because then you’re satisfied and he doesnt have to do much

NOT THAT HE’S LAZY

just that he likes to cuddle and chill more than being inside of you all the time

he’s sensitive which has its pros and cons

pro: easy to get horny

con: easily overstimulated

WHICH SURE you’d find it fun to torture him by keeping him cumming over and over again

but poor boy would be crying in the end

which only added to your horniness OOP

“y/n,, s-stop please im begging you,, ahhgh..” he moans from underneath you, you putting him through his fourth orgasm which is causing him to shake and cry as you didn’t stop riding him. “mhm... but I wanna cum once more, not fair... you can cum so many times but I can’t! be a good boy and shut up, maybe i’ll let you go after this round”

Seungmin:

giving me that same energy that chan has

but this time instead of 95:5 its more like 65:35

meaning 65% romantic puppy that wants to take his time with you, roaming his hands all over your body and really connecting with you

and the other 35% well... more like relentless pounding, all covered in love bites and hand prints (im drooling)

he becomes all hard dom when he’s stressed and soo...

you get him stressed which ok you feel bad about but... he gets to release all his stress (and cum) on you and you get what you want 

DING DING DING! win-win situation!!

so yeah he would like it most of the time especially when you’re stressed and especially when you’re a brat

turning him on by rubbing on his lap but running away the next second

he likes to make you obey rather than you already obeying. 

he was watching tv peacefully when you suddenly plopped down on his lap, starting to squirm about when watching a tv show. he held you down by the waist. “shh stop” he says once with a bitter tone but you didn’t listen, only continuing to move and feeling his member getting harder. “Is d-daddy getting hard?” you coo at him with a mischievous voice to which seungmin sighed, his hands snaking around your upper body and wrapping around your neck, pushing your back against his chest. “little fucker wanna play with daddy”

oml why did this become so aggressive i have a lot of pent up sexual frustration ASHASHS

Jeongin: 

he’d find it really hot in the beginning

but what he didn’t realise was how tiring sex is 

yk teenagers! learning as they go (i like how im talking about this as if im older than him LMAO)

catch his search history being: “is it normal to have sex everyday” 

he’d be sore :(( 

and when he told you that he probably needed to just cuddle he felt bad because he always wanted to please you

but the two of you would find your ways around it

vibrators EHHEHE

especially those remote control ones

he’d just go ham with those I KNOW IT

because just like felix, you’d be satisfied and he could chill for the time being 

beg pretty enough and he’ll give you the real thing

“b-but i need you now jeongin! stop with that fucking controller!!” you try to snatch it out of his hand but fail. “say please” he says, looking at you with sweet brown eyes. “pl-pleaseeee~!” he melts into a puddle of blushes as he speaks “alright but only because you’re a good one” 

HEY THIS WAS SO MUCH FUN WRITING!! send in sum more, i’ll make them into short reactions like these because my requests for the “official” reactions is closed (will probably open shortly) but YEEEAH 

thank u anon for your very very smart brain and for requesting HEH >< 

also this is not proof read so ignore any mistakes OOP

[emsvegetables]

25th: usually rowdy atsumu is quiet around you.

- in which you wonder if you’ve done anything to offend him because he’s always quiet around you. because ever since you met him when you became the manager of the volleyball club, he’s done nothing but fall silent everytime you come around.

no. of words: 1.4k+

okay. so hi!!! this was another one of my pure word vomit works!!!!! but yeah!!! i hope you like this!!! i hope this was okay!!! feel free to kill me if it isn’t!!!!

atsumu obviously hates you.

maybe you’ve done something to offend him, you think when you make eye contact with atsumu during training, because he doesn’t even smile at you and instead looks away immediately. not that you deserve a smile from atsumu, of course, it’s just that he always smiles whenever he meets anyone’s eyes in the middle of training, so why does he not smile at you?

you’ve probably really done something to offend him, you think when you go forward to pass the filled waterbottles to the rest of the team, and kita thanks you with a smile, aran thanks you with a smile, suna thanks you with a small smile, osamu thanks you with a smile, but atsumu merely looks at you when you pass the waterbottle to him, and just nods at you when he receives it.

does he not like you? what did you do that made him so angry with you? did you do something wrong?

it doesn’t make it better when you’ve been harbouring a major crush on atsumu. for some weird reason, you’ve fallen for atsumu and his cocky words, his confident strides, and his funny personality. so it definitely hurts your feelings when the person you like doesn’t seem to like you back, even worse, he dislikes you.

then it becomes worse.

whenever osamu or suna called you over while the team was chatting casually by the benches, atsumu would immediately stop laughing when he saw you approaching, instead choosing to look down at his shoes.

if you saw him in the halls and went up to him to wave hello and greet him, he doesn’t even answer you, instead nodding slightly at you, and if you tried to have a conversation with him, he just gave you one-word answers and left as quickly as possible.

he looked like he was really uncomfortable with you. you really don’t know what you did to him that caused him to not like you. in fact, you were so, very confused.

-

so you decide to get to the bottom of it.

“hey, osamu,” you say, “you and atsumu are close, right?”

maybe you phrased it wrongly, judging by how osamu raises a singular eyebrow and takes a long sip from his waterbottle, before saying, “well, he’s my twin, and my brother. we live together, so i would say that yes, we are close. unless you’re talking about another atsumu. then that’s a different story.”

you laugh, and osamu shoots a smile at you, “what’s up, (Y/N)?”

“hey,” you say, nervously tugging at your shirt, “did i do something to offend atsumu or something? did he tell you anything?”

“what are you talking about?”

“oh, it’s just that he always runs away from me as quick as he can whenever i talk to him, and he always doesn’t laugh when i’m around and always looks at his shoes. it’s like i did something wrong to him. did i do something wrong to him?”

osamu blinks at you, and you’re about to crawl into a hole and die when he snorts and starts to laugh.

“are you serious?” he asks, wiping the tears out of the corner of his eye, “you really don’t know?”

you wrinkle your nose and scrunch up your eyebrows, “no, of course not, that’s why i’m asking you?”

osamu laughs, and pats you on the shoulders genially.

“you should go ask him yourself,” he suggests, grinning widely at you, “really, that’ll probably clear things up.”

you bite your lip, and osamu smiles at you.

-

when it becomes clear that osamu clearly isn’t going to tell you anything, you decide to confront the source itself.

you’ve been looking for an opportunity to confront atsumu in private for ages, and it was only now did you get the chance you’ve been looking for.

it was after practice one day, and you’ve been tasked to stay back to pick up the balls and close the gym, and you realise that atsumu was the only one left in the gym when you came out from the storeroom, still practicing his jump serves at the other end of the court.

you run up to him as quickly as you can, trying to make your footsteps as light as possible, so he won’t get the opportunity to run away, and you tap him on the shoulder just as he bends down to pick another ball up.

“atsumu?”

he startles, and straightens up so fast you would’ve been hit if you didn’t jump away, and his eyes widens when he realises that it’s you.

“can we have a talk?” you say, and you try to ignore the way he stares at you, and breathe a soft sigh of relief when he finally agrees.

he sinks down to the floor, and you plop down onto the floor as well, and you laugh nervously when you make eye contact with him.

“so,” you begin, “did i do something wrong and accidentally offended you?”

atsumu blinks in surprise when you say that, and raises an eyebrow, “what do you mean?”

you twiddle with your fingers nervously, and look back up at him again, “it’s just that you’ve always, like, run away from me when i try to talk to you. and you always stop talking and just look down at your feet whenever i’m near. did i do something wrong to offend you or anything? i asked osamu, but osamu just laughed and told me to ask you.”

you’re looking down on the floor to avoid his eyes, but then you hear atsumu swear under his breath, and say, “i’m going to kill him.”

you look up again, and atsumu brings up a hand to scratch his hair.

“so, did i do something wrong?” you ask again, and atsumu shakes his head vehemently, “no, no, no you didn’t.”

“then why are you avoiding me?” you ask sadly, and atsumu looks alarmed when he realises that you’re frowning.

“look, (Y/N), i’m not avoiding you,” he says firmly, and reaches forward to rest his hands on your shoulders, “it’s just—just—”

“just?” you say, and you’re pretty sure you’re blushing right now, judging by the burn you feel in your cheeks.

“it’s just,” atsumu pauses, and swears again quietly, “look, i like you, okay?”

you blink.

“what?” you manage to say, and look at him with a confused look on your face.

“i like you,” atsumu says, and your heart quickens just a little when you realise that a flush has made it’s way onto his face, “i’ve liked you for a while now, (Y/N).”

you blink again, “but then why are you avoiding me?”

atsumu looks at you and laughs, “i’m not.”

“you’re not?” now you’re really confused.

“look, (Y/N), i’ve been trying to not make a fool of myself in front of you. i’ve been trying to make sure that i don’t seem annoying in front of you, alright? people have told me that my laughter is annoying, so that’s why i always stop laughing when you come near. and i’ve not been talking a lot to you because half the time, the most stupidest shit comes out of my mouth, and i don’t want to scare you away. and the other half of the time, i’m too embarrassed to say anything in front of you, alright?” atsumu looks away from you, and he’s scratching his head again.

“oh,” you say, and you bite your lip.

“yeah,” atsumu says, “oh.”

atsumu shifts slightly, and pushes himself up from the floor, “it’s okay if you don’t like me back. this is a lot to take in. it’s just that you asked why i was avoiding you, and well, here’s the answer. sorry if i made you uncomfortable. i-i’ll just go.”

atsumu’s ready to walk away from you when he feels a slight yank on his shirt.

when he turns to look at you, he widens his eyes when you’re smiling at him.

“‘sumu, you dumbass,” you say, reaching forward to wrap your arms around his shoulder, “i like you too.”

“you do?” he sounds shocked now, but when you lean forward to press a kiss onto his lips, you can feel his smile against your lips.

guess atsumu doesn’t hate you after all.

back to my fluffvember masterlist!!!!

general taglist :)

send an ask to be added in :D

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send an ask if you only want to be added to this instead of the general taglist!

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i’ll mention those that i couldn’t tag later!!! this is a scheduled post.

[obeiii-mee]

How will the bros react to MC self-doubting themselves? Like saying bad things about them or can't be serious someone give them compliment.

Supportive demon bois coming right up! Sorry I took so long to write this anon! Thank you so much for the ask! (Also, thank you all for the love on my previous posts!)

————————————

The Brothers with an MC who self doubts themselves:

Lucifer:

-As the embodiment of pride itself, Lucifer has an overwhelming amount of confidence, almost all the damn time

-So, he was flabbergasted to learn that you weren’t the same

-He always insisted that you aren’t anything but perfect, yet you always seemed to brush the compliments off with a shrug and an awkward smile

-Well, shit, we can’t have that

-Lucifer just got 10x more serious about the matter

-He pulls a really stupid concerned face whenever you insult yourself and he looks more and more like a 48 year old man/dad each time it happens

-He, as of late, increased the number of pet names he has for you and the amount of compliments he gives you each day

-He refuses to let you talk badly about yourself anywhere, at any point in time and encourages every little step you take towards bettering yourself like crazy

- Lucifer wants to prove to you that you are an absolute ray of sunshine and he will go to any lengths to do just that (do not ask)

-He’s even more affectionate than usual which confuses just about everyone in the House of Lamentation, yourself included

-His brothers are feeling a disturbance in the force and they don’t know how to feel about it

-You are possibly the best thing that’s happened to him since he fell as angel and Lucifer is ready to do whatever he can to help you realise that

Mammon:

-“You’re an idiot!”

-“*Sigh*, I know.”

-“Wha-Wait! Y-you can’t say thAT!”

-The Great Mammon is seriously worried about his human

-Being the dense motherfucker he is (i still love him tho) it took him weeks to realise you’re not all that confident in yourself

-At some point in your relationship, he jokingly called you annoying and you just went “Yeah I’ve been told. Sorry.”

-His jaw literally dropped and he almost cried

-He would have choked if he was drinking something

-Tsundere Mammon has gone bye bye and here comes the cuddling teddy bear that is your boyfriend

-He also doesn’t have as much self love for himself as he sometimes pretends to have so he’s kinda in the same boat

-Which means your boat is leaking and you’re perfectly fine with it while he’s panicking and trying to throw water overboard with his hands

-His brothers call him an idiot a lot but he’s a very sociable guy with people skills that he uses all the time in order to coax you out of your self pitiying shell

-Will whine every time you call yourself ‘useless’ or disagree with his compliments because what the hell, you’re literally the most gorgeous being ever let me love youuuu

-When it comes to you and your happiness, he ain’t fucking around. He will snarl at anyone that even looks at you in the wrong way

-Did that to Lucifer once, guess a what happened

-You’ve definitely helped him come to terms with the fact that he is loveable and not a good for nothing scum

-So now it’s your turn!

-Let him kiss your insecurities away please

-Your presence makes him feel wanted so he wants the same for you!

Levi:

-Well then

-It takes two to tango ya know?

-He is the KING of self loathing and no confidence whatsoever in anything he does so every time you put yourself down, he counters it with a self deprecating insult as well

-“I suck.”

-“Nah, you’re pretty awesome normie. I’m the shut in, disgusting otaku who can barely set foot outside his bedroom without having an anxiety attack.”

-It’s like you’re trying to outdo the other on who is worse

-Truth is, he really admires you, especially knowing you chose to date him; an anime nerd with no social life and no communication skills whatsoever

-It hurts a bit, every time he builds up the courage to actually compliment you and you not taking it seriously

-That’s because he recognises that he’s the same and just as harsh on himself as you are

-Levi knows self hatred is something that takes time to demolish

-But you are his Henry after all (also his partner but whatevs)

-He’s not gonna leave you hanging when you need him the most

-He also gradually stops calling you a normie as your relationship progresses, though it still slips through every now and again

-Basically, the first time he realised that you think negatively of yourself, his immediate reaction was: Haha lmao relatable

-But now, every time it happens, he gets all serious

-Puts his controller down and everything, it’s like witnessing a very rare phenomenon and it’s creepy as shit

-He’s also made an effort to be more physically affection though he is kinda shy about it because damn it he just wants to hug you every time you speak badly of yourself

-Probably writes a list at some point stating all the reasons why you are better than him and Ruri chan combined, it’s rlly sweet

Satan:

-He’s a bit curious as to where that mentality has come from

-What triggered you to be so self doubtful?

-He’s basically your psychotherapist and asks you a lot of questions trying to find different causes and solutions for your issues

-Honestly, he puts so much effort into trying to understand, reading books about it from the human realm and whatever he can find in order to help you

-He scrunches up his nose every time you call yourself an idiot or anything of the sort

-Satan knows that insisting you’re wonderful won’t exactly help you overcome this problem of yours

-But that doesn’t stop him from doing it

-It’s not like you can ignore his comments because he will keep complimenting you until you accept them

-He also repeats a lot of pick up lines but that’s just part of being his partner

-What do you mean you’re worthless?!! He would literally give away all of his books and his hatred for Lucifer in exchange for your well being!

-Satan is possibly the smartest out of all of his brothers, so he uses a tactical approach on this one

-Direct affectionate gestures don’t work on you so he’s gonna be more subtle

-Would slightly hint that you are amazing every time you do something for him, like fetching him a book or something

-“Ah thank you. I don’t know what I would do without you love.”

-He’s a lot smoother than he gives himself credit for

-He just appreciates your existence and that there’s someone out there that he doesn’t need to be act hostile or fake toward

-Satan is ready to sit down and listen to you talk about your insecurities for hours on end

-You would quietly say something bad about yourself and he would run through the House of Lamentation before bursting into the room you are in, shouting ‘No! That’s wrong!’ (going Danganronpa on your asses)

-“Welp, I fucked up again. I can’t do anything right.”

-And then, in the distance you hear boss music starting

Asmo:

-*Shocked Gasp*

-How could you say such things about yourself???? Is that even leGAl?

-Of course, the literally prince of Lust, with all of his narcissism, has never experienced things like ‘self doubt’ of ‘bad self esteem’

-Pfft, the fuck is that?

-He only uses the most positive of words when he describes himself

-So obviously he almost falls off the bed when he hears you insulting yourself for the first time

-But ya know, that would leave bruises on his beautiful skin

-“Oh darling, you’re not annoying or a moron! You’re not anything like Mammon!”

-That was a below belt fatal hit, press f in the chat for the second eldest

-At some point, he just genuinely believes you’ve been spending too much time with Levi and that his negativity started rubbing off on you

-But then you tell him you’ve always been like this and he almost has a crisIS

-He’s like ‘Haha, no, we’re going to get a spa day out tomorrow and a few shopping sprees so I can prove to you that you are magnificent in every way imaginable.’

-Asmo loves pampering you in general but on the days he sees you feeling extra sorry for yourself, he goes above and beyond

-Gets very hurt when you brush off his compliments because he just wants you to accept the fact that you’re beautiful

-He’s like a supportive mom lmao, whenever you’re feeling self doubtful, he goes “You’re doing great sweetie, keep it up I’m really proud of you.”

-It’s up to you to decide whether that helps or not

-He’s such a sweetheart in reality, it’s hard to remember that he’s supposed to be horny all the time

-Well he is but that’s not the point, you’re way more important

-Asmo is so much fun to write cuz I can make him so dramatic it’s hilarious

Beel:

-Oh no :(

-He gets very sad everytime you self deprecate yourself

-You can’t do it with him in the room because he’s going to start crying and give you this kicked puppy stare, it will break your heart

-Beel kinda comes over and goes “If I give you some of my food will you please stop saying bad things about yourself? Because it’s not true.”

-Well you can’t say no to that face

-He feels like it’s his fault you’re this self doubtful even though you’ve tried to explain to him you’ve always been like this

-He goes crying to his twin half the time because he doesn’t know what to do

-“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to drop it! Fucking hell, I’m such a fucking klutz.”

-“Sniffle no you’re not.”

-He’s like, giving you large portions of his food now

-Because food makes him happy so he wants you to be happy too

-🙂

-His brothers go in shock every time because the only other person Beel has ever shared his food with before was Belphie

-Physical affection goes through the roof with this guy

-Bone crushing hugs btw

-Your self worth is so immeasurable with him, you can’t even measure it

-W h o a

-I’m being serious, don’t talk badly about yourself in front of him unless you want to be hugged into next week

-You are a literal angel in his eyes, of course he thinks highly of you

-He’s just hoping his presence isn’t making your self esteem worse, that’s the thing that keeps him up at night

-Idk why but he does think that he is a bad influence on your mental well being since he’s a demon

-Beel gives you compliments all the time and it confuses him when you laugh them off uncertainly because he wasn’t joking or lying??

-He’s always supportive of your choices and encourages you to be more confident

-The same way you show your support everytime you come to his games to cheer him on

-Overall, he just wants you to feel special and appreciated

-Because you deserve it

-IneedmyselfaBeel

Belphie:

-He feels like absolute shit

-Becuase he’s well aware he‘s called you a few...not so nice words in the past

-Back then, he only thought he meant everything he said but now that he’s hearing you accept his insults and actually repeating them yourself?

-It hurts his brain and he wants to smash his head against all four walls of the room for being such a cretin

-You do tell him it’s not exactly his fault you think so badly of yourself

-But he still believes he fueled it

-So now he needs to fix it

-He’s tried everything and I mean everything

-It’s kinda working, slow progress is made which he’s really happy about but you know, it’s gonna take a while

-He finally settles on physical affection as the best way to communicate his gratefulness for you being youself

-Oh, he wasn’t hugging you before? He is now, get your ass next to him and let him cuddle you

-Handholding has increased by 69% in the last month, sorry for the loss of your right hand with how much he squeezes it

-Sometimes, he can’t help but a throw an insult at you in a playful manner, because he’s an asshole

-But he always makes sure you understand that he was just joking

-He’s such a little shit, you would be having a chat with him and you would subtly drop a insult at yourself hoping he wouldn’t notice

-But then he stops dead in his tracks, kisses you, says “Shut up, you’re stunning” and then he goes right back to the previous conversation like nothing happened

-Accept his compliments damn it otherwise he will continue to bug you about it for the rest of the day

-He’s an eboy and he’s a dickhead a times, but he just goes soft for you tbh

-If you’re feeling really bad about yourself, he won’t even say anything

-He will just big spoon you for the next 24 hours, good luck going to the bathroom or any meals during that time

-Because once you’re in his grip, you’re not getting out that easily

-He gets so pissy if anyone says something even slightly negative about you to your face

-One time, a random demon called you stupid in one of the classes at RAD and he was like ‘bïtch excuse me what?’

-Snapped his head around at him and everything

-He would have done something worse but he was lazy and feeling really petty

-So Belphie kicked him in the privates from under his desk like a damn spoiled brat

-And then he turned his head back to you, all smiles and rainbows and puppies

-I’m simping so hard for a fictional character wtf

-I had to write more protective Belphie cuz I can’t find anything of the sort anymore and I need flUFF

(Haha, I don’t know what this post is, my writing has officially taken a shit lmao. Sorry this took so long to finish, I kept going back to edit all of them)

Al~

[alexalblondo]

You can ignore this if you want and maybe I'm just a bit sensitive to it as someone who is Asian but I feel like Alex is treated more harshly than other people who's been in his position no matter what Alex's success is always reduced and undermined and all his mistakes are highlighted i can't help but feel like there's definitely some kind of racial issue there but like I said I might be just sensitive

Hello friend 💕

Sorry, this took a moment, I was watching the press conference and this is a question I really wanna focus on getting right cause it deserves it!

First of all: I agree 100%! Obviously there are other factors as play but I think - just like with Lewis - there is racism at play here!

(I hope it’s okay to compare these two situations but they ARE the only noticable non white men on the grid and I think it shows cause you don’t have people tweeting about, Idk what’s a stereotype, how the french always give up every time Esteban has to let Daniel pass, I guess - yet you get ten comments about Alex going back to his soup kitchen in Asia every time he isn’t perfect)

Second: never feel like you’re being too sensitive by pointing out something like this! The worst that can happen is a person disagreeing with you and having a valid reason for why what they are saying wasn’t racially motivated - but you’d still have made them aware of a possible bias or of how they phrase something the wrong way ... the best that can happen is you figure out someone in your life is a racist and you can cut them out!

Third: in my opinion there are three factors at play when it comes to the media being more harsh on Alex: RBRs history, Pierre ... and racism!

1) RBRs history is easy enough to explain, they have a history of dropping drivers if they underperform (Pierre most recently) or if someone in Torro Rosso was performing better (Daniil) (Except how that argument never made sense here cause there wasn’t someone to be promoted in Alex’s place, sooo)

2) I should preface this by saying I like Pierre. I think he’s a great driver and his story and the way he seemingly rebuilt himself to be stronger both as a person and a driver is more than impressive and I am proud of him and happy for him, but, you know, sometimes it gets a bit much, sometimes people are ... I don’t wanna say they are complimenting him too much but Daniil has had similar results for a lot of the season and you don’t hear people constantly praise him, you know?

(Like Imola, yes, his P4 was impressive but people talked about him afterwards like he had lead the race and then DNFed in the last corner and just, nope, no hate to Pierre but we don’t know what he could have done in the race)

And that’s what I mean with the Pierre-factor cause on the one hand side we have Pierre doing so good in Alpha Tauri ... and on the other hand side we have Alex seemingly underperforming at RedBull, making people go: ohhh, Pierre is sooo amazing why did ya’ll replace him switch them back (- instead of saying: huh, maybe there is team fuckery happening ... but ya know 🙄)

I don’t wanna put ANY achievements Pierre has made down but it really annoys me the way people bring him doing well up so often while talking about Alex when that shouldn’t really be a factor cause they are not in fact in the same team and the same car (and maybe I am just doing the same thing I criticize in others, which I’m sorry for but it was to make a point)

3) and then we come to your factor and a factor that I have noticed as well which is: ✨racism✨

Now, I cannot talk about potential micro aggressions and I don’t notice everything cause I would be more of a Scarlett Johansson type of asian than you, I guess, and while I grew up with tolerent open minded NON RACIST people, the austrian-baverian border lands are not particularly multi-cultural and usually people aren’t aware of structures like racism if they benefit them, tbh, so that’s more of your part (I also don’t feel particularly comfortable commenting on this part cause, ya know, Scarlett here 🙈)

But the part that I did notice and the part that I do consider racism and the part that pisses me off to no end is: EVERYTIME SOMEONE SAYS THEY THINK ALEX WILL KEEP HIS SEAT THEY SHOEHORN IN A REFERENCE TO THE FACT THAT HIS MOTHER IS THAI AND REDBULL IS 51% THAI OWNED

Whew, sorry for screaming!

It’s just - the only OTHER PERSON they mention his sponsoring so much with is Lance Stroll who’s father LITTERALLY owns about half of Racing Point! (again, not meant against Lance)

Like, you don’t hear people say Seb only got the seat at Aston Martin cause his wife is part-british or Esteban only got the Renault seat cause he is french or hear people mention that Lando is both british and his dad bought into McLaren and that’s why he is at McLaren

But with Alex it’s constant! I don’t know about Sky UK or any other but there isn’t a single session at Sky Germany that doesn’t point this fact out at least once, cause, Idk, we don’t remember the last 15 times?

Yeah.

Okay, I’m gonna stop here cause this is super long already and I just realised I didn’t particularly go into what you mean, but I just wanna say: I agree. I think he is criticised more cause he isn’t white.

Anyways, apologize for the long ass post and I won’t reread it, so sorry for all mistakes, I’ll probably edit it like 5 times in the next hour though!

Thank you though, for coming to me to talk about this and I hope I didn’t say anything horrible!

(Reason #4 btw is that Alex being shy and awkward and nice means we don’t hear him complain as much or as dramatic as, well, his teammate which makes people think it isn’t that bad and also makes them miss that he just voiced something was wrong)

(Which is a really dumb thing but Sky Germany keeps pointing out how ... unenthusiastic and quiet Alex is on the radios so yeah)

Anyways: If your still reading have a fantastic night and do something that makes you happy!!!!

[aracaeli]

The Sign of Three

NOTE: Merry Christmas @elfchensdcartblog from your DCMK secret santa!! I’m sorry for posting it at the last minute possible, I should probably have said Happy New Year instead. Here is my humble gift to you. Also, I’m sorry for not writing it with the accent. Regular english still gives me trouble and I’m not sure I’m capable of writing it right. Big thanks to @dcmksecretsanta for hosting he event.

I’m really rusty, but actually making this gift is more fun than I imagined. I forgot how soothing writing can be. Please forgive any mistake I made, happy reading! ^^

----The Sign of Three----

“You know, this is a very bad idea.” Heiji said to Kazuha for the sixth time that day. He’s practically sulking by now. On default, Heiji is not a big fan of malls. Much less going to a mall two days before Christmas. Suffice to say, the place was packed. People are everywhere. There’s people who are getting their christmas shopping late, young couples celebrating christmas together, or just some rando who had the bright idea to come to the mall near christmas. The mall even blasted out “We Wish You a Merry Christmas'' in every speaker on loop. Heiji swears if he finds the person responsible for that song that guy will have to answer to him.

Kazuha however is chipper as ever. She ignored his comment and instead was busy looking at toy displays in front of her while whistling along on the christmas song. Heiji wouldn’t even be here if Kazuha had not dragged him out. Heck, he wouldn’t even leave the house if it weren’t for her. His plan is to stay at home and do some reading, maybe go out for a bit to get food, but that’s it.

Kazuha apparently had other plans for him. She insisted on making him come with her to her class christmas event today and accompany her to do last minute shopping for the kids. Apparently the school wanted the students to celebrate Christmas by making a christmas event where the kids can play and exchange gifts. Only, the actual event is two days early from christmas because the kids will be celebrating with their own family on the actual christmas.

The idea is stupid. Heiji said as much.

He gets smacked in the head for that. Heiji had tried to lie his way out, but Kazuha immediately saw through him.

And that’s another weird thing about Kazuha lately. They had been married a while, but Heiji was sure that her changes only occurred recently.

Lately, she seems to become more observant. She often notices small things that she didn't notice before. Normally if someone moved her pen when she was away, she wouldn’t notice, but now she was able to tell the exact distance of the pen’s displacement. 

Another weirdness is, she woke up by the slightest noise. Before when Heiji had to stay late because of work, he was able to get to their bed without waking her. Now Kazuha is awake when he cracks the door open. If Heiji made a noise, she was able to tell exactly what was causing the noise, even if she was two rooms away. Heiji didn’t know what was the cause, it’s not like it’s the first time he saw that kind of ability. He had good ears, so does his father. What’s weird is that Kazuha suddenly developed one, too.

Maybe it was contagious?

Heiji shakes his head, chasing the ridiculous thoughts away. Despite Kazuha being weirdly observant, Heiji managed to secure an awesome gift for her, in his humble opinion. The subject of his musings is still shopping happily, uncharacteristically unaware of his thoughts. 

Kazuha is still looking at the display. But now she has already moved to the far end of the store. She picks up the toys one by one and assesses them carefully, as if it was important evidence on a crime scene. After a while, she held up a toy truck in front of him.

“Do you think Mikoto-kun would like this one?” Kazuha asked, holding a red toy car that resembles a fire truck. 

Mikoto is one of Kazuha's students in elementary school, who Heiji really doesn’t like. Mikoto, like most the boys in her class, had a crush on Kazuha-sensei and wanted to marry her when they grow up. Nevermind that Heiji visited the class and told them that Kazuha was already married to him.

In response to that information, Mikoto--who had the smuggest face for someone barely older than a toddler-- just looked at him from top to bottom, face clearly displaying unimpressed. “Oh well, we’ll see about that.”

The audacity.

Not caring what the brat would get for Christmas, Heiji answered shortly, “He’s a kid, that’s a toy. The math suggests that he would be thrilled.” 

He thought she would get annoyed with him, but his wife just shrugged and went back to shopping. In the end, she made a decision and took the toy to the counter to pay for it and told him to wait for her. Heiji watched her with a suspicious gaze, wondering if what meets the eye is really the truth. 

Heiji thinks it’s weird that Kazuha invited him to the event. While it’s not the first time he has come to her class and participated, it was always such a disaster. Considering what happened when he was present, he should be banned.

In his defense, it was the brat’s fault. Everytime Heiji comes to pick Kazuha up, he will ‘accidentally’ step on his foot. Kazuha makes Mikoto apologize to him of course, but the boy apologizes with a sleazy grin not fit for a child. One time, when he visited Kazuha during class, the brat ‘accidentally’ poured paint all over his shirt. Heiji tried to get back at the kid, but as if sensing his petty intention, Mikoto immediately cried.

Worse, Kazuha never sided with him. She came and comforted the kid while Heiji had to watch the kid buried his face in Kazuha’s chest while giving him the smuggest smile known to humankind. He had to bite back a curse. 

Another incident that popped in his mind is when Heiji cursed in her class, in front of the children. It was actually quite comical, the children had simultaneously stopped what they were doing and looked at him in shellshock, Heiji stood awkwardly for a minute. He was about to make a run for it. When one of the kids decided that what he had done was unacceptable on so many levels and tattled on him to Kazuha.

Kazuha had put him on time-out as if he was five despite his protest to her.

“I can’t play favour, Heiji. It’s not a good example for the kids” Kazuha said sternly while putting her hands at her hips. Long story short, he lost the debate.

He had to sit in the hallway to think about what he did while the other children peeked at him curiously from the window.

One kid even booed at him.

Yeah, it was not his proudest moment.

While he was reminiscing, Kazuha came back from the cashier, carrying one more bag in her hand. She didn’t have any trouble carrying it, but he decided to perform his duty as a good husband and took the bag from her hand. Beside, this way her hand would be free for him to hold.

Chiding himself for being sappy, Heiji linked their fingers together in a loose grip, suppressing the blush that always comes despite already being married to her. But Kazuha was having none of it today as she tightened her hand.

Kazuha leaned closer on him. Their arms linked together and her nose almost brushed his shoulder. 

“Let’s go upstairs.” Kazuha said, leading the way. As they walked side by side, she broke the silence.

“Did you finish your christmas shopping?” Kazuha asked. The mall was crowded and loud, so Heiji really had to pay attention to hear her. 

“I did. Finished it weeks ago.”

“Including my gift?”

“Yes.”

“Is it a living thing?”

“No.”

“Is it a nonliving thing?”

“We’re not playing 20 questions!”

Kazuha pouted. She bit the inside of her cheeks and turned her face away from him. Giving Heiji her side-view. And suddenly he finds himself resisting the irrational urge to kiss that protruding lips in public. Fortunately, unlike with the case of  Fairy’s lips, he still had common sense left.

“I think I know what you get me.” Kazuha said suddenly. 

Heiji gave his wife a skeptical stare, surely she was just bluffing, afterall he went through a painstaking measure to make it a surprise. He even draws a murderboard, which he hides in Kudo’s house, much to the latter dismay.

“No you don’t.” Heiji sneered.

“Hmm let’s see now,” Kazuha put her hand to her chin, mimicking his favorite pose when solving a case, complete with a smile, which may appear innocent at first but completely devious. 

“I know that you suck at handcraft. And I don’t see you working at anything, so it can’t be handmade. You said it was a non-living thing, so it can’t be a pet. Judging by how quick you are in answering my question earlier and the fact we have a joint account, it’s unlikely to be a trip or a dinner.”

Heiji started to sweat. Is this what the suspect always felt whenever he made a show of his deductions? Still, Kazuha is not done yet.

“The fact that you finished weeks ago means you had planned it for awhile. You’ve gone to Tokyo for a suspicious amount of time, it can be unrelated to gift-buying, but my instinct said it was very related. But it’s weird that you go so far just to shop, there’s plenty of places here where you can hide your gift. That suggests the involvement of an outside party. Probably a delivery. Which means…”

Kazuha added a dramatic pause.

“....it was custom-made.”

Damn. What’s gotten into her?

Still, Kazuha went for the kill, “The fact that you’re giving it to me, big chance it was a jewelry. Probably a necklace. Since you had no sense when it comes to women’s fashion, the one you custom it’s not probably the design. If my deduction is correct, that necklace would have my initial.”

Heiji completely avoided looking at her. Somehow his pride is trampled over her deductions. He had plans after all. The only solace he had was Kazuha doing all of that is kinda hot. So he let it pass.

“Am I right?”

Heiji shrugged. “I don’t know, you had to wait.”

Kazuha gives a little happy jump, almost knocking a lady that was passing by them.

“I can’t wait for a necklace with a ‘K’ pendant to come.”

Heiji nodded along with her statement. The pendant that he ordered is actually spelled ‘K.H’, since Kazuha had officially become a Hattori now. He decided to let her little mistake in detail be left uncorrected and changed the subject.

“Can we go now? I think this place is getting more packed.” Heiji said, and true to his word, someone bumped into him. Said person didn’t even apologize and just walked. 

“Hold on, I still need to buy one more for Chika-chan.”

“Huh? I thought it was a secret santa.”

“It is, but I’m buying a present for all of my students in the class.”

Heiji frowned. “Why? Isn’t that a bit much even for you? You’ll see them again next year.”

He felt her getting tense. She was looking straight ahead but he can tell that she was carefully masking her face as casual indifference.

Shrugging her shoulder, Kazuha answered, “I just want to make this year memorable.”

Heiji observed her face carefully for any clue, but sensing his curiosity, Kazuha looked back at him and feigned a smile. Deciding to not pursue it further, he noted this exchange and kept it in Kazuha’s folder, a place in his mind palace where he keeps anything related to Kazuha that he finds odd or weird. That folder had recently become thicker and thicker.

“Let’s go up one more floor, I think I see a store selling hair accessories.” Kazuha said quickly as she pulled him along by his hand to the elevator direction. Heiji followed along.

She accidentally stumbled on her steps. Delaying them for a few seconds. In consequence of that, they missed the elevator. As the door closed with a resounding ding sound. It was like a butterfly effect, the world just decide what he needs today is a murder.

If only they got on that elevator, they would have missed the shrill scream of a person discovering a dead body.

But unfortunately they did.

Knowing that scream everywhere, Heiji felt his detective sense alert in an instant. But before running off to the source of the commotion, he looked at Kazuha first, wordlessly asking for her permission.

Kazuha sighed, smiling softly, “Go”.

Heiji gave her a cheeky grin. He  handed her the shopping bags to her. Since both his hands are free, he had the chance to strike a cool pose before running off by gripping the edge of his hat and pulling the cap to the front.

“I’ll be back.”

------------------------------------------------------------

In the span of time for one call to the police, five interrogations, and one person broke down crying later, Heiji managed to gather the suspects in the back of the store. The body is found in a clothing changing room. A man in his late thirties, wearing casual jeans and polo shirt. The corpse had been found laying on his back, half his body leaned on the mirror. Eyes wide and mouth wide open. Although there is no blood. 

The store owner had been very helpful in aiding his investigations. She closed the crime perimeter and helped gather witnesses. Even though she initially insisted that the man just had a heart attack, until Heiji pointed out the signs that he clearly is poisoned.

Heiji was busy doing his usual detective work that he didn’t really notice that Kazuha hadn't shown up even after thirty minutes had passed since they heard the scream.

Heiji was about to search for her, already worried that something happened to his wife. But as he was about to walk away from the crime scene, Kazuha catches up with him, completely unaware of his worry. She even brought a drink in hand  and casually sip the cold liquid from the straw while looking around the crime scene curiously. 

“Solved it yet?” She asked. Slurping the boba tea. 

Heiji was momentarily distracted by the movement of her lips. Shaking the unwanted thoughts away, he looked back at the corpse.

“Not yet. So far, here’s the situation. Someone is found dead in the changing room of this store.” Heiji gestured towards the corpse.

“No blood.” Kazuha remarked.

Heiji nodded. He feels weirdly proud that she participated in the case. He resisted the urge to pat her head, “Exactly. Death by poison.”

“Cyanide?”

“No, arsenic.”

“Who do you think did it?”

“Well, I figured out the trick, But I’m still not sure who did it.”

Kazuha nodded solemnly. Still slurping her drink. Her gaze turned towards the three people standing behind the store owner who were looking at them the whole time. The three men are the main suspects for the case. Heiji told them to stand far enough so they can’t overhear his conversation. Heiji was sure the culprit was between the man with glasses and the tall one. Although he had no evidence or any defining clue.

“The guy with the glasses seems suspicious.” Kazuha said. Leaning close to whisper in his ears. He instinctively take a step back. Typical of Kazuha to annoy him with her stupid breath and her slurping when he was in the middle of a case. 

Heiji snatched the drink from her hand. 

“How is he suspicious?” He asked, only half-interested in her answer.

“Look at the inside of his wrist.” Kazuha said confidently at first, but she suddenly turned hesitant and quickly shrugged “But, I don’t know though, you’re the Detective.”

Reluctantly, Heiji followed Kazuha's advice and focused on the man in glasses hands. 

Wait….that mark…

“I know who the killer is.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

An hour and half later, they finally manage to get out of the mall. Heiji was sure that they were already late to the event. Thankfully, there was no traffic on the way, so they made it to the school ground less than ten minute later. The event hasn't started yet. Most of the kids were still playing around, although Kazuha’s coworkers had pulled out various games and an assortment of christmas themed sweets out.

When Heiji and Kazuha enter the classroom. The children cheered. Immediately, she was surrounded by her students. They formed a circle around her and tried to get her attention. Looking at the spectacle before him, Heiji can’t help but note that Kazuha is really good with kids. 

Heiji put their bag on the gifts table. He searched for an empty chair to sit on. Heiji found one in the back of the room. He sits down on one of the chairs beside the low round table. Heiji was so focused that he didn’t notice someone approaching him.

“So you came.”

Heiji turned to the source of the voice. But he didn’t see anyone.

“Down here”

He looked down and his stare met with Mikoto’s gaze.

“Hey”

Mikoto only grunted. The kid pulled the chair across him and sat down. He slouched on the chair while looking around the room with bored eyes. Heiji noticed that his eyes landed on a little girl with a pigtail who was excitedly chatting with Kazuha. He looked back at the kid and the girl.

Heiji was a very observant Detective. The best in Japan. Despite what neechan said. That’s why the blush on Mikoto’s face didn’t go unnoticed by Heiji. He gave a small sigh. Kids these days, so easy to move on from one crush to another.

“Do you like that girl?” Heiji asked. One eyebrow raised suggestively. He deliberately didn’t gesture on the little girl across the room.

Mikoto looked scandalized, suddenly sitting straight with face flushed red. “What! No! Who likes Chika!?”

Heiji grinned. “I didn’t say anything about Chika-chan.”

Mikoto was about to defend himself. But no words come out. All of his face was flaming red to the tip of his ear. The blush even went up to his ears. In the end, he settled to look away instead. Sulking.

“So…” Heiji began, finding the opportunity to tease the kid highly amusing. “Do you think Chika-chan cute? What’s her deal?’

Mikoto crossed his hand in front of his chest, “She’s not cute! She’s stupid!” he stated, too loud and too defensive to be true. Some of the kids and one teacher had looked their way due to commotion. 

“Hey, stupid is a bad word.” Heiji chided. 

Mikoto was about to protest. But somehow decided against it and mumbled a low “Sorry.”

Seeing the kid actually reminded him a lot of someone. Although Heiji can’t quite recall who. “Here’s an advice, if you like her, don’t pull her pigtails.”

Mikoto, once again, flushed red. As if he was just caugh red-handed. “I don’t need your advice, I bet you also pulled Kazuha-sensei’s ponytail.”

Heiji laughed. It’s actually happened. The scene of their younger years flashed before his eyes. Kazuha used to have pigtails too when she was young and the sight of her hair swinging around as she walked always seems cute and endearing to him. Although back then he had no idea what the feeling blossomed in his chest was. 

Young Heiji never made the connection between the flutter of his heart and Kazuha’s presence. Once Heiji even thought he had heart problems. His mother laughed when he brought his concerns to her. Shizuka had said that he was healthy as a clamp and had nothing to worry about. To his embarrassment, it took him ten more years to finally understand he was in love with Kazuha.

“What are you boys talking about?”

Both of them turned around simultaneously, only to find Kazuha standing behind.

“Nothing,” Mikoto said. Kazuha looked at the two of them suspiciously. “Mikoto-kun, you should join the others. The game is about to start.”

Mikoto sends Heiji a distress signal to help him get away. But Heiji feels no remorse as he shrugged his shoulders in total betrayal.

“Mikoto-kun.” Kazuha said again, voice more stern. In the end, Mikoto sighed and walked away from the couple. Joining the merry and fun of his friends in the center of the room.

Kazuha sat on the empty chair that Mikoto left, staring at the crowd in a somewhat somber gaze, “He reminds me a lot of you.”

Heiji immediately defended himself, “What! I am nothing like that brat.”

“You two seemed to get along, though” Kazuha said.

“No, we’re not. He hates my gut. Apparently he used to have a crush on you.” Heiji added, “And just so you know, those little accidents that he did, are not an ‘accident’.”

Kazuha laughed. “I know. I just wanna show how ridiculous you are, getting jealous of kids.” Heiji opened his mouth, but she cut him off, “Don’t even try to deny it.”

Heiji blew a harsh breath. Looking around at the happy kids around him, the christmas decoration is exquisite, and the cookies smelled delicious, even from when he was sitting.

“Why do you insist I come anyway?” Heiji asked. Although he probably knows the answer. With how observant Kazuha is lately, maybe she noticed that he’s not having such a great time at work. 

But his wife is always able to surprise him. “I’m pregnant.”

Heiji gaped at her as the world turned into a standstill. Voices become mute and he swears the earth stop spinning.

Kazuha...is pregnant…

Kazuha is pregnant.

He heard the words clearly. But the meaning didn’t actually register in his head. Kazuha is pregnant? With his child….

There’s another human being that he will be responsible to. Someone who looks like him. Or maybe Kazuha. Maybe a well-behaved kid like Chika-chan or a brat like Mikoto.

What would he do if his kid makes bad choices? Or become too reckless like him?

He could feel his panic rapidly growing by the second. The thought of bringing a human life in this world is downright overwhelming. Kazuha might be good with kids, but he is not. What would he do with one? That’s easy, he should feed it. Oh God, what did you feed a kid? What does a kid even eat??

As if sensing his rapidly growing panic, Kazuha called his name. “Heiji,”

When there was no response, Kazuha grabbed his hand that was laying on the table. The contact startled him. His eyes turned to her.

“We’re gonna be fine, Heiji.” Kazuha added, “Beside, I’ve been thinking about it, and I think I want to focus on raising our family.” 

Suddenly, it made sense. Why she wants to make this year christmas with her class so memorable. The way she is acting so weird recently. There’s only one thing he can’t figure out, thought….

“I don’t get why you suddenly become so observant, is that another side effect of pregnancy?”

Kazuha stared at him in bewilderment, “What are you talking about?”

“You! You were suddenly very observant. Like a detect--” Heiji stopped mid-sentence, he abruptly stood up from the chair, knocking it backwards. As if he just received the meaning of the universe, he exclaimed:

“Oh God, our child is gonna be a detective!!”

.

.

.

A/N: And thus, Heisuke is doomed since he was a literal fetus to be a detective by his father. 

There’s a local belief in my area that when a mother is pregnant, how she behaves is influenced by the child’s personality. So if a woman often gets angry during pregnancy, that means the child is temperamental, so on. Halfway writing this, I realized that it might be too weird and specific, so I ended up rewriting it into a more general trope. Although dumbass me misread the fact that Kazuha is elementary teacher-to-be, not elementary teacher. Still, I hope you accept this as a humble sort-of-headcanon to your Heisuke AU.

I actually really like the concept of the AU, I had to refrain myself from liking and reblogging all the posts because then you would have easily figured out that I’m your Secret Santa (lol). Can’t wait to see your next works. Good luck and Merry Christmas! ^^

[selinakidreams]

Junk of the Heart

this was inspired by this song and a personal experience that i could have only wished ended like this. side note: i thought kiri would b ideal for a first fic post bc........... i wuv him a lot nd i couldn’t get this scenario out of my head; everytime i hear this song i think of him singing it so there u go <3

paring: gn!reader x kirishima eijirou

band member au! so no quirks

genre: fluff

warnings: none, good ol ushy gushy self indulged romance 

Word count: around 3.3k

You were surprised that exhaustion hadn’t taken over your body yet. 

The day was a non-stop escapade of the mundane and the irregular; all in the same day, you went in and out of different big cities, to having afternoon coffee followed by going back to the apartment you were staying at to nap, to visiting a local rose garden, to drawing with chalk on the sidewalk of your friend’s house post potluck. You were only visiting for the weekend so your friends were going to make the most of it. 

By the end of the night, you somehow found yourselves waiting in line on the side of a cozy neighborhood venue to try and get concert tickets to an already sold out show.

You didn't really know what was going on, not that you minded; the motto for the weekend was “go with the flow”. However,  the spontaneity of randomly going to a concert where you don’t know who’s playing has peaked your interest. You’ve never done it before and once the idea had time to marinate in your mind, your heart was set on getting those tickets. 

Waiting for 30 minutes for the tickets seemed like nothing until whispers of, “they’re not giving out any more tickets!” And “they’ve officially sold out!” came trickling down the line, causing your heart to falter. 

Groups in front of you started leaving and your group moved to take their place. “Did you want to see if we could finesse our way in?” Said one friend. “Doesn’t it seem pointless, though?” Responded the other, yet your group remained in line. You didn’t want to leave, there was something in your gut telling you not to, but you were starting to doubt the probability of actually getting in.

Everything next happened in an instant. 

Somehow, you and your friends managed to get up to the window selling the tickets and talk your way into getting in. It didn’t seem like a miracle more along the lines of sheer dumb luck, they just happened to find more tickets- but you didn’t dwell too much on it, you were already inside enjoying the vibrations of the live music moving through you. 

Lights were reflecting off of a giant disco ball, bouncing in every which direction, exposing random people in the crowd. The lights on stage only added to the different colors brightening the dark expanse. Bodies swayed close together as the next song started calmly. 

You had been off to the side, waiting for your closest friend to come back with the drinks she offered when you guys were first greeted by the bass and guitar. The rest of your friends had gotten lost in the crowd, but you didn’t mind. The scene you were taking in felt surreal. You had never seen complete strangers come together in a way that it made it seem like they’ve known each other for years because of good music. 

As your friend made her way through the crowd with two cups in hand when the band announced that it was going to be their last song for the night. You looked up at the members on stage; you had been paying so much attention to the experience as a whole that you hadn’t even seen the band actually playing. 

The first person that caught and kept your attention was the man in center stage. Bright red spikey hair with ruby red eyes to match, and a toothy grin. A white electric guitar with a red strap hung on his sizable shoulders. He looked like the physical version of the music he was playing; a plain black fitted t-shirt tucked into his loose blue jeans with holes in the knees. His black converse seemed worn out, like they’ve been on so many adventures, this night on stage being one of them. 

You tried to look at the other members but your gaze always shifted back to him. 

Now with a sweet alcoholic beverage in your hand, you were pulled to the barricade by your very persistent friend. You heard her say something along the lines of, “you look like you’ve witnessed a miracle! We need to get closer!” 

Nobody seemed to mind your friend’s pushiness to the front, everyone there was just enjoying the show had to offer. 

“Before we get on with our last song of the night,” the red head chuckled at the immediate chant of boo’s that rang out, “we figured we ought to introduce ourselves!” His smile showered over everyone in the crowd. He leaned into the mic stand as his big hand loosely covered the secured mic, “in the back, and away from people where he should be,” a melodic laugh rang out as he looked to his annoyed band mate, “is our drummer, Bakugo Katsuki!” The audience was greeted by an eye roll and a curt wave and gave back an applause. “Next we have our all talented bassist, Jirou Kyouka!” She ran her pick over the strings, you felt the vibrations through your whole body and decided to let out a laugh, joining the others in letting out a loud “wooop!”.

“And on the keyboard, we have the electrifying  Kaminari Denk!” A wink and finger guns were shot out and in response, a few girly giggles could be heard throughout the cheering room as well as a few squeals. Kaminari threw his head back and put his hand over his heart.

“And me? I’m Kirishima Eijiro on guitar!” You could hear the swarm of girls that cheered overpowering the crowd as well as thunderous hollers from a few guys,

‘Pretty popular,’ you thought, taking a sip of your drink. Of course he was popular. His smile was contagious, full and bright. You could see the happiness illuminating his eyes, the crinkles by the corner of his eyes showed he truly couldn’t be more content than in this moment.

Bakugo spun his drumsticks and began playing a beat as Kirishima began to talk,“ We had a fuck ton of fun tonight, thank you for having us. We hope you give the same amount of love to the band that hops on the stage next.” he said, the smile never leaving his face. He adjusted the ear piece before finishing with, “But as for us, this song is called Junk of the Heart, let’s go Bakugo!” And just like that, they dove into the song. Kirishima began strumming to Bakugo’s already given beat.

As Kaminari hit the keyboard, the stage lights changed drastically. All of a sudden there was no color on stage or bouncing off the walls, beams of golden light shot out from behind them, giving them the look of angels. The space got significantly darker; you had no choice but to look at the band in front of you. 

Backlit and beautiful, it was as if you were actually hearing them for the first time.

“See I notice nothing makes you shatter, no no, 

You’re a lover of the wild and a joker of the heart,” Kirishima looked out onto the faces that were close enough to see. He loved seeing how invested people got- to see how music can bring people together and create a bond. It made him feel like he was at the top of the world.

You thought to yourself as you watched him sing into the mic, “He looked so god like, it was ironic that you were looking up at him.”- that was until your gaze was met with his. He stopped the wandering gaze; it seemed as though his eyes got bigger than before, which didn’t seem possible. His eyes were already so round and curious, but making eye contact with you brought a different kind of wideness. 

When he sang, “But are you mine?” it seemed like he was asking you.

“I wanna make you happy, I wanna make you feel alive.” 

Your body and your mind felt disconnected. You couldn’t decode any messages that were being played through your head, all you could feel was the beat of the bass match up with your heart. 

“I wanna make you happy 

If you’re a good girl tonight.” He sang to you before looking back at the rest of the crowd. It looked like he had just broke out of a spell.

“Y/n? Y/N? Was he looking at you?? Do you know him?!” Your friend's voice came into light.

And for the first time in the whole day, when the trip’s motto pushed itself into your head, you waved it aside. 

You looked at your friend with a determined smile before leaning into her and yelling out over the music, “No, I don’t know him but I sure want to. After the song, I’m going to make it so there’s no way he could possibly forget the girl in the crowd.” 

Your friend, stunned at your decisiveness but loyal, slowly began to nod. She reached for your hand and wrapped your pinky in hers, then slowly got back into the groove of the song by spinning you around. 

“Let me make you happy, I wanna make you feel alive at night,” Kirishima sang on, grin growing as his eyes wandered back to the spot you were in. Something warm bubbled in his chest.

‘I want to dance with them’ was the first thing he thought when he saw you smiling in the dim lighting, hips swaying with hands in the air, and not a care to be found.

Finishing off the song, the lights faded to black for a second before the room became a tad brighter yet still dark enough to leave the haze of the concert euphoria just a little longer. 

Kirishima bolted. At the speed of light, he handed his guitar to a snickering Denki before navigating his way through the maze of the backstage and into the crowd. So many heads to look over and so many gazes to catch, but when he caught yours, everything simply melted away. Time didn’t stand still, yet making his way over to you seemed like it was one of the easiest things that he could do. 

“I’m sorry but I really need to hear you say something,” Kirishima said loud enough when he approached you, trying to ignore the intense gaze of the person standing next to you. 

You didn’t really know how to respond- to you, everything happened so quickly. You could only tilt your head in response, to which you felt a jab in your ribs. 

“Please just say my name. Not Kirishima but please call me by my first name in the next sentence that leaves your lips.” He said with a hint of desperation. It was almost like he was hoping your voice was a song he could listen to on repeat- that your voice was something he could eventually turn into a song.

You took a slow deep breath and let it out, there was a self-put urgency to have the next sentence you say mean something. 

“I feel like…” you began to say, and paused when you saw his features change to something you couldn’t quite describe, “... watching you perform on stage is something I could do… more often… Eijirou.” 

Something made his eyes twinkle. Maybe it was a trick of the light or maybe you just imagined it, but it made your heart race just a bit faster. When would it reach the finish line?

He let out a breath you didn’t notice he was holding; his chest slightly contracted.

“Just as I thought, your voice is beautiful a-and so are you.” He sighed. “Can we step outside for a second? I promise you it will only be a second. It would be rude for me to take you away from your friend for the rest of the night.” He smiled at your friend for a second. You were a bit stunned; first, the compliment that tugged at your heart a little too hard and now the decency to respect that you came here with your friends. A true kind hearted man.

It took you a second to reply but before an answer could even leave your lips, your friend yanked you towards them. Kirishima’s ever wide eyes grew again but showed no signs of leaving. 

“Listen, this is all up to you,” your friend whisper-shouted excitedly in your ear. With impeccable timing, live music started playing. 

“Anyway, what I was saying was,” your friend stated a little bit louder so you could hear her over the music, “it’s your choice! If you feel comfortable with hanging out with this dude for the night, do it! This is your trip, do what you want and have fun. Regardless, you know where we are and where we’re staying. Just text me and let me know.” She pulled away, waiting for your response. You smiled and mouthed, ‘I’m gonna go’. She showed her delight by pulling you in and leaving with the final note of, “stay safe,” before disappearing into the mass of bodies, probably to go look for your other friends.

You turned to Kirishima before taking his forearm, noting that it was one of the fittest ones you’ve ever laid hands on, and headed out of the venue.

The temperature drop was a bit of a shock but you held your composure as a wave of goosebumps washed over your body. 

You spun around to face the guitarist, only to be greeted with a shyer version of him. It seemed his sheet of confidence went hand in hand with the warmth from inside. As soon as he stepped out, it was instantly ripped away by the cold.

“I- um, well.. may I ask for your name?” He stuttered out, realization hitting you that you never even said your name. You felt your cheeks grow hot before stepping closer to him and whispering your name then taking another step towards him. The nippy air seemed to have the complete opposite effect on you.

At this point, your chest lightly brushed up against his as you looked up at him; his gaze fidgety while yours is sturdy but kind- set eyes flickering from his ruby reds to his plush pink lips. 

You chose not to question your boldness as you pushed yourself up to the tips of your toes.

He had approached you with such determination, you might as well match his energy. 

With your chest fully pressing into him now, you carefully watched his reaction to see if there were any signs of discomfort before slowly draping your arms around his neck. Even on your toes, he was still a head taller than you. 

“Kirishima, what is it that you wanted me to come outside for that you couldn’t do inside?” The teasing whisper dripped from your lips. 

It was as if he was visualizing the words you were saying, his sight trained on how your lips moved.

“Can I kiss you?” He matched your whisper, his head already slightly dipping in to ghost his soft lips over yours while his large palms fell to your hips, invoking a ripple of heat to coarse through your body. 

It was up to you, the fate of the evening was in your hands. Whatever you wanted to do, Kirishima would do as long as he was with you. 

“You can…” you began as you moved to play with his surprisingly soft hair, “walk me to where I’m staying, and maybe if you’re lucky, I’ll let you.” You innocently giggled as you slowly lowered yourself against his broad chest and pulled away completely.

Kirishima’s dazed expression stayed only for a second before he slightly shook himself out of it, a renewed shade of red dusted on his cheeks.

Another giggle escaped from you before whipping out your phone and texting your friend about the newly made plan; red eyes plastered on you and following your every move. 

You slid your phone into your back pocket and scooped up Eijirou’s hand, relishing the size difference, and started walking.

The walk held the best kind of conversation: the kind that consisted of everything and nothing at all. You two were taking your time, walking around local parks and goofing off by performing air guitar and dancing around to no music. He talked about how his band started and how he discovered his love for making music. You talked about how you were visiting your friends because they moved away for college and you couldn’t bear to not see them for another few months. At that you saw his open figure slightly deflate. 

“So you don’t live around here?” He muttered, unconsciously gripping the energy of the lighthearted conversation downwards, but you stopped it before it could get to the point of no return. 

“I’m transferring here.” You said with a promising smile, Kirishima returned the action with a full blown grin. The topic took a turn for the happier as you two chatted about random thoughts and valid opinions. 

Inevitably, the time came where it was you two standing in front of your door, spare key in hand with the outside light illuminating the mirroring soft expressions. You stepped closer, recreating the exact actions you did in front of the venue, and this time when he asked to kiss you, your response was nonverbal. You took his lips with yours at first with a peck. The delicate sound of you pulling away only lead to a deeper kiss, one that made his planted palms uproot and wrap you up entirely in his embrace. Your tongue danced with his; The closeness and warmth had you sighing against his mouth. You slightly pulled away, watching a thin trail of saliva leave you two connected before leaning back in for another peck. To that, he loosened his hold without actually letting go.

“Can I see you before you go back?” Kirishima’s voice was breathy and low, a really good combination for him. 

“Give me your number and we’ll see.” You replied, trying to compose yourself. He chuckled before fishing out your phone from your back pocket, giving your ass a little squeeze in the process. A squeak instinctively left you as you watched a smirk form at the corner of his lips. You refused to look at Kirishima as you put your thumb on the home button to unlock it, your cheeks were too red. 

He added his contact with a red heart next to it, ‘ironic’ you thought. 

The goodbye was drawn out; a lot of lazy pushing away and pulling back in, in addition to feverish kisses and roaming hands, but that all came to an end when you finally pushed the key into the lock and twisted it open before quickly shutting it, leaving Eijirou outside begging you to come back out. 

“No because soon enough I won’t be able to resist you and I’m going to tell you to come inside and stay the night- which would not be cool to my friends,” you laugh as you hear a huff on the other side of the door. 

“You’re right… and I really want your friends to like me…” he trailed off, letting you ponder what he meant for a second. 

“Okay can you just open the door one more time please?” So you did. You were greeted by a sweet and soft kiss, reminding you of a dessert that you couldn’t quite put your finger on. 

“Goodnight Eijirou.” You whisper before closing the door gently.

Replaying the gushy romantic events that took place that night, you took it upon yourself to text him to write a song about you- playfully of course. The charming red cherry on top of a perfect Hallmark-movie-type of night.

He ended up taking it seriously,

and performed it at the next live show you went to, a few months after you transferred. 

And it was that night, when he bounded through the crowd to find you yet again- 

instead of asking to hear your voice, he asked to hear your answer on being his romantic partner.

[flowerslightning]

The OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) in FF7

This thing actually caught my eyes while reading a few theory about FF7R and the word OCD appear in their certain analysis, in IG, youtube comments and some posts in tumblr too. Dunno why but they always relate Biggs with OCD. I looked back to the scenes where Biggs appear and... Okay, i understand why they thinj Biggs has OCD or perfectionist

A lot of people, including the psych students themselves easily confused with OCD and perfectionist (I got confused by it quite often too). Now, is Biggs OCD or is he just a perfectionist? Let's take a deeper look at it

Biggs is not a famous character. So fans dont really care about him, but I do

Disclaimer : i'm not a psychologist. Im an intern and still studying. Psychiatric is not my major field but i got assigned there as an intern for quite a time and we got exposed a lot about psychology too. We didnt learn them professionally like the real psyche students, we learned (and still under training) through real life experience + a little bit from the books.

So there might be wrong interpretation here and there. Pls correct me if I'm misleading u. And pardon my english. Pls dont use any of these terms to diagnose urself. Remember, I'm a student, not a professional.

I kins of blame the social media for portraying OCD in such a nasty way, when someone with OCD is actually suffering inside.

OCD is not just about 'clean clean, must clean this place till squeaky clean' and OCD is not about being perfectionist. OCD and perfectionist are two different thing.

Perfectionist is more to a demand demeanour, eg "I want the cake to be like this. I want it to be pink. No, not that pink, it must be neon pink with slight purple. Do it again. No, i dont want that pink. Do it again. Ahhh yess, nice pink." Someone with perfectionist, after they got their result, they will immediately bcome calm and satisfied. Perfectionist is obviously different from OCPD (Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder). OCPD falls under Personality Disorder and it is different from OCD. Im not going to talk about that

Credit goes to crazyheadcomics.

Look at how OCD got spoken from the media perspective. It is very much resemble to Biggs, dont u think? In reality, someone with OCD always feel stress about everything around them, and they will find it hard to complete their task.

OCD has two components - Obsessive and Compulsive

| 1. Obsessive. It is a repeating thoughts about something and often occur until it makes someone feel stress about it. Eg, u think that ur hand will get bacteria infection if u touch a chair, door, fridge or when holding someone's hand. This thought always appear in ur mind everytime u touch the door, chair, fridge or somebody's hand, but when u touch ur shoes, u never think about the bacteria (in certain cases, some patients become scare of everything they touch)

| 2. Compulsive. It is a repeating of the same actions to fulfill the 'obsession' in order to reduce the stress acted upon them. Usually the 'action' has a specific ways in which the patient believe he has to do it like this or that way or else he will fail. Eg, after touching the chair, he will immediately wash his hand 10x from left to right. He believes the hand washing wont be effective if he starts from right to left

Another sign of OCD is when someone re-checking the door lock few times. Its normal for us to re-check once/twice the door lock for confirmation, but for people with OCD, they will re-check the door lock for about 6-10 times and still not feel satisfied and later they stress out. And also the OCD people, they tend to get annoyed when something is not in particular order and they will immediately fix it eventhough they know they're wrong.

I met a funny woman at the hosp arranging our students' books according to its thickness, when I asked her why did she arranged our books like that,

She replied : "Doctor said I have CDO"

Me : "Sorry, CDO? Never heard of it"

She : "It is actually OCD but I feel so stress hearing that term so I put it in alphabetical order. CDO, much better"

We both had a good laugh. Her case was not serious though, but she was feeling miserable with her thoughts and decided to meet a psychiatrist. I would say she was still in early stage for someone with OCD, but may lead to severe if left untreated

It is really hard to satisfy and convince someone with OCD and they always feel stress about something they shouldnt care too much about. U can say OCD is a fastidious type, and they're actually more than that

If we want to relate this condition with Bigg's case., urmm. The only time where I can spot him being different than the other characters is when he's busy sweeping his front house and when he pat Cloud's head during the Sector 7 plate fall.

The cleaning stuff isnt exactly weird thing for a human to do. But it is something odd, I mean, he just finished his mission with Jessie and survived a jump from the plate, and yet he still have the energy to sweep dry leaves, AT NIGHT! He can wait till tomorrow though and should get himself a proper rest.

Wedge says Biggs has a habit of overthinking stuff

And there we see Biggs sweeping the dry leaves. It might be because he is trying to distract himself from doing his bad habit - overthinking. But urm , i think there'll be higher chance for someone to overthink when doing house chore like Biggs is doing. This is where lots of people say Biggs cleaning the house at night is bcause he has OCD or he's a perfectionist.

But I dont think thats the case. For real, he is completely normal. No sign of him acting weird in that scene. If he really does have OCD or he's a perfectionist, we'll see more of him arguing with Barret about unnecessary stuff. He cant become one of Avalanche's strongest member (not exactly strong, but hey, he's trustworthy). Also, if u notice, Biggs have one earring on his right ear. Someone with OCD will feel irritated by it bcause his ear doesnt look 'balance'. OCD people, even in mild case, they want everything about them to be balance and in good order.

After trying to understand Biggs way of thinking and style through his short screentime, I strongly believe this guy has no such thing as OCD or being a perfectionist. Biggs just cares tooooo much about his friends, he thinks 10 times ahead from the bigger picture in which it frightens him about the bad consequences that will occur to people he cherish.

He is the type that always have a back up plan in his mind. He thinks of 5 possible bad things and comes out with 10 solutions. That's the power of an overthinker like Biggs I'll tell ya

Biggs probably cleaning his front house area at night bcause the next early morning, he will need to leave his house for the bombing mission. Better take care of things the night before the big day. He can ditch the cleaning work but he wont do it, not bcause he's a perfectionist/OCD, but try to imagine this, if ur front house is full with dry leaves and rubbish, it will be unpleasant for the neighbours next to ur house to see. Living in the slum means higher chance for u to get sick if u dont take care of ur surrounding hygiene. Biggs is a kind man, and I believe he doesnt want to upset his neighbours

He probably has overthink this matter like "If i dont do this now, I probably dont have time for doing it tomorrow. Maybe I'll broke my leg from the mission and this trash will be left untouched, then there'll be high chance for the children around here to get sick. What if they get infectious disease bcause of this dry leaves? And then the parents will be worried and the Sector 7 Slum will be in chaos etc etc. Time for plan A. Let's clean this place"

Besides, remember the post where I mentioned about Mental Health First Aid? Biggs, as the side character gives the best MFA to Cloud even without knowing what Cloud had gone through. Biggs is just toooo kind with his friends, he cares too much causing him to overthinks about his friends conditions. He can notice even the slightest change in his friend's behaviour and with his own instinct, he cheers for them

Aww man, how can u not love his personality? He's the sweetest side character ever (and kinda hot too).

Soo as the conclusion for my post here, Biggs does not have OCD. He's a side character with a big heart who cares tooooooo deeply about his friends that leads him to overthink too much.

However, if the devs say Biggs really has OCD then my statement about him will be invalid. I'm sure they have put everything in a very close detail look.

Btw, I personally think Biggs kind of portrays the other small side of Cloud, the overthinking part for their romantic partner. But Biggs express his worry through words while Cloud express it through his actions, eg - like how he always keep an eye on Tifa. He never speak it directly like "I'm worry about Tifa, I must help her", he just simply be with her either she needs a help or not. While Biggs clearly says "Jessie been acting weird, I should go if she needs any - help -"

Action speaks louder than words but sometimes our eyes failed to listen.

Alright, that's it. Thanks for being with me till the end.

[tomdiddlyumptious]

help me shift 👹

MAKING SURE YOU ARE CLEAR OF WHAT YOU WANT.

Please make sure you are clear of what you want! If you are not clear of what you want you might accidentally shift into somewhere DONT wanna be. To avoid this make sure you watch a video of where you wanna shift to before you do it. 

Example: i watch peter parker 5 minute videos of clips of him being a dork or etc, i look at peter parker/tom holland pictures of him holding a guitar because as you came from kats blog you know i like peter parker singing to me, i might look at video clips of him singing, but he doesnt sing in his new york voice so i have to imagine that on my own.

Example: i shifted to five nights at freddies, they ended up having an orgy. scary<3.

REMEMBER THIS IS YOUR REALITY.

In your desired reality you can make whatever you want to. If everytime you clap you hands you make zendaya teleport to give you a kiss YOU CAN DO THAT. if you want to control your desired reality, meaning in you control everything they say YOU CAN DO THAT. just make sure you have a script. Its basically like writing a blurb or a series if you do that! You can look like whatever you want to, if you wanna be 11111’9 you can be that!, if you wanna be rich you can be that!

Example: i might write on my script that everytime i shift to my reality that i wake up cuddling peter parker, then hed wake up while i am making breakfast and remind me of how beautiful i am and wrap his arms around my waist.

Example: i own a house that would be 4 million dollars in my cr, but when i shifted into my dr it only costed a single dollar and i dont have to pay rent.

Example: sadly my family isnt supportive of the lgbtq+ so in my dr i stick to they/them but as i progress i have peter help me of who i wanna be the next day, she/they, or he/they. If you dont recall i made a post about seed of chucky, how i am basically glen/glenda because i cannot figure it out, yeah….peter made that joke- sometimes hed tell tony how beautiful his boyfriend is, which i totally love him for that, or how beautiful his girlfriend is, which is so loving to me. 

SHIFTING.

I personally do not support permanent shifting!! Nor do i consider it. Because you might miss your family, your friends, and something might happen to then while youre gone. Also, do not become attached. It can cause extreme sadness and probably depression (i personally havent went through this because i dont know how dumb my clone is and theyd probably walk in a grocery store without their mask on)

Example: if i were to shift to somewhere permanent, say ive been there for about a year, and i dont know how long ive been shifted in my real life, you might be in your dr for one year but what if in your cr youve been gone for 3?? Remember you dont remember ANYTHING from your cr while youve been gone to your dr one.

Example: peter parker says i love you and i hope youre here forever and now you dont wanna leave him but you have to go. And then you get so stressed about it that you cant shift but you miss him so much.

Example: i come back from my dr and have to take a covid test for my job just to find out that i have it, but then i become confused, i havent been anywhere. And then boom it comes to you that youve shifted and you cant control anything. 

SCRIPTS.

Scripts are great!! They take a lot of time tho. Thats why i recommend you do it on docs instead of paper and then maybe print it out. If you wanna. My script isnt fully finished AT ALL but i am clear of what i want to it helps too. Scripts help out with what you want fully! You can always change it anytime you like, make different ones, and anything youd like! In your script you can write out how others think of you, your appearance, the way you smell, the way you act, your love interests, your hobbies, your family, and your backstory.  You can add your cr friends, shift celebs in and more! Add in what your house looks like!

Example: appearance: i have large blue eyes, my waist is 1’ inch and i am so skinny, i am the only beautiful girl in school. Mood: i cry when someone calls me annoying and pushes me, but then sings this is my fight song and becomes very confident and making everyone join me singing to the bully making them drop to the floor and cry, making me feel sad and helping them up before we become friends and they hurt my heart again, breaking it before i sing again making them move away forever and make me so popular in school, making peter parker want me and do my homework making me have all A+s

Example: backstory: i was born into the richest mafia and when i was five my parents died in a car crash.

Example: love interests: peter parker, we met at the ice skating rink and i accidentally fell, he made fun of me and hates my guts and he calls me a whore everytime making me look down to me feet “i-i-i-i-i-i-i im so s-sorry!” and then i ran away. MJ, we met in class, she drew me. I dont like her because she too nice, but she likes me and compliments me on my small waist. Haz osterfield. Hes so rich and he calls me a good girl everytime he accidentally drops his pencil and asks me to pic me up, i let out a gentle “UwU” before doing a ahegao face before he shoves his two fingers down my throat<3

WAITING ROOMS.

Your waiting room is your safe place, it can look like an office, like a bedroom, a livingroom. Anything you want. You use waiting rooms if you arent ready to go to your dr, if you wanna take a break from your dr. there can be multiple doors, from different realities, you can have an assistant who checks up on you every time you come in and out of the room. 

Example: my waiting room is a soft coffee brown, contains of six doors, looking around i see a large tall green plant right next to a assistant desk, finding harrison osterfield with glasses, clicking through my realities, keeping up files, making sure nothing is going wrong and throwing some suggestions spicing up the reality i choose. The six doors lead to, New york, Queens, the space ship of guardians of the galaxy, Mean girls, Hogwarts, a famous lifestyle with tom holland, a regular life style with tom holland, and a school of a mix of Ron, the twins, Harry, peter parker, MJ, haz, ned, oliver wood, betty. Carl from shameless, Otis from sex ed, the hold stranger things circle, and etc<3.

METHODS.

Methods help you to shift. You can make your own even. I use the heartbeat method, the alice in wonderland method, and the raven method. 

Alice in wonderland: imagine yourself sitting against a tree, a book in your hands as you could help but look up and see (love interest/friend in cr) run past, it made you look, your confused as you stand up running after them. There much ahead of you, just running straight as you could hear their footsteps against the floor before they suddenly stopped, right before jumping down a rabbit hole, your eyebrows furrow before you walk up to the hole you watched as his body became littler and littler, suddenly feeling the urge to fall down the rabbit hole, you do. As you fall freely down the rabbit whole you find yourself letting go of th things you dont want. What do you not want, your homework? Your car? Your landlord? Your prince-able? Your cheap toaster? And as you think about it you slowly drop, your eyes closing and your feet meeting the ground as you imagine your eyes open. Looking around you find white walls, 6 white doors, three on each side with golden handles. But you didnt feel connected to those so you continued to walk down the hallway. Coming to a stop you looked left and right, finding your love interest on the right with a small golden key in their hand. They smile at you, walking over, the grab your hand, their hand warm holding yours before they ask, “are you ready?” you say yes, they smile and turn their head to their right, you did the same, finding another door. They let your hands go “see you on the other side y/n” they smiled before walking off. You looked at the key in your hand before walking up to the door, putting the key in and turning it, haring the door unlock and you opened the door. Finding yourself in your dr room, finding your dr self sleeping in their bed. You close the door behind you, walking to the body and opening the blanket to lay ontop of them. You slowly feel your soul seeping into your dr self, feeling tingles throughout your body as you entered your dr one. You have shifted. 

Heartbeat method: you play heartbeat sounds on your phone (perferably the app musi) and lay your head on top of the pillow, hearing the heartbeats you imagine its your dr love interest laying under you. I personally listen to the humming one too. As you fall asleep you should feel the shifting side effects.

Raven method: you can lay anyway you want, just make sure your limbs arent touching. You close your eyes softly and slowly count to 100, you might have to do it over and over again. But as the numbers pass you can say affirmations, or “past memories” or imagine yourself with your dr love intrest/friend. 

The way i do it is, i use the alice in wonderland method first, but instead of laying down by myself i imagine my dr love interest came inside of the room with me, laid down next to my dr self and told me to “come on” or i imagine theirs double of us (dr peter parker) and we shift together, then after that the heartbeat method plays, while im still laying down with peter and im ontop of his chest im listening to his heartbeat, im also counting, closing everything else out but either his “heartbeat” or my breathing while counting up to 100.  There is also shifting guidance here. I suggest you make a playlist with the alice in wonderland and then the heartbeat method or do them separately if you want!

Now, i am not the best of them all but this is what i could provide!!

[lu-undy]

Chapter 50 - SBT

Here it is!

Mundy frowned at Lucien. 

"What d'you mean 'non' ?" He asked. "I'll get the bloke as soon as I can get out of here." 

"Look at you." Lucien raised Mundy's arms and the Aussie hissed out of pain. His muscles were still sore. "Bruises, bruises and oh? Bruises! Your skin has patches of purple everywhere…"

"Yeah, well, I'll just wait for them to go away and I'll get him."

"Mundy, they caught you, beat you up, chained you to a wall and drugged you."

"Yeah but I'm still here so I won't give up."

Lucien rolled up his eyes and frowned. He started to be annoyed. 

"They had in mind to kill you and throw your corpse in the sewers, Mundy! How much clearer do I need to make this?! You are not returning there on your own like that!"

Mundy frowned, he removed his hand off of Lucien's.

"What's it gotta do to you? Let me go and do my thing!" 

"Non, Mundy! They caught you once, they will catch you again! You lost the element of surprise! You actually made us lose the element of surprise! You made it harder for the both of us to do it now!"

"Are you angry at me now cause I tried to do it myself and not get your sorry arse killed?!" Mundy exclaimed. 

"I then risked both of our lives getting us out of the trouble that you" Lucien put his index on Mundy's chest, "got yourself into!" 

"I never asked for your bloody heroics!" 

"What was I supposed to do?! Leave you to die?"

"What difference does it make to you - argh!" Mundy put his hands on his head. 

Lucien sighed and left the room. The Doctor came to Mundy's side not a minute later. 

"So, you have woken up?"

"Yeah…"

"Anything hurting?" 

"My head, Doc', it's almost like a hungover but even worse…"

"You will need to hydrate plenty for your body to get rid of the drugs you've been fed. And here, for the headache, but don't take these pills on an empty stomach. And as for your bruises, I rubbed some cream on them last night. You're welcome to do it again, four times a day max, until the pain goes away. The tube is on your night table."

"Can I go back home?" 

"Are you in a hurry?" 

"Kind of." 

"Mundy…"

The Doctor came closer to his patient and sighed. 

"What?" The Aussie asked. 

"He stayed with you all night. He actually carried you in here and took care of you, maybe more than I did." The Doctor nodded in the direction of the window through which they both could see Lucien leaning on the nearby lamp post and smoking.

Mundy sighed. 

"What d'you want me to do? I can't trust him. It's always the same with him, you think you understand him and poof, walk backwards for a mile cause turns out he played you like a damn fiddle!"

"Mundy, look at your bed." The Doctor said, and Mundy looked down. 

"What about it?" 

"Look at the beds." 

Now it struck Mundy. The beds were stuck to each other.

"And didn't you notice his red eyes?" The Doctor asked. 

"He stayed up late?"

"No… No, he cr-"

Lucien entered the room and the Doctor changed his sentence.

"Do you have any memory of what happened yesterday?" He asked as Lucien stood in front of the mirror to button up his shirt. 

"No, not really… I had the wildest dreams though…" Mundy answered. 

"Like what?" The Doctor questioned. 

"I dreamt I was in a bathtub and someone was washin' me. I couldn't see their face. But they talked and talked endlessly… They had a nice voice. It was a bloke's voice, though I couldn't understand anything they said…"

Lucien stopped closing his shirt and stared through the window, his back still to Mundy and the Doctor. 

"Anything else?" 

"Y-n-no… I mean… Nothin'..."

Lucien raised an eyebrow. He knew Mundy had lied. 

"In that case, I'll leave you two. Other patients call for me." 

"Thanks, Doc'." 

And the Doctor left. Lucien waited for the door to shut completely before breaking the tense silence. 

"Where did the lie start and where did it end?" He asked.

"What?" Mundy asked. 

"You remember more than what you said."

Mundy sighed and rolled his eyes. 

"Come on. What else do you remember, let us hear it." Lucien came back on his bed and Mundy sat up.

"I remember you helped me walk out of Duchemin's place…"

"Hm-mh."

Mundy frowned to try and wring more out of his memory. 

"And uh - huh?!" He gasped. "What about the girls?! My van?!"

"Don't worry. I found them and they are safe with Maurice."

"Oh, thank God for that…" Mundy sighed in relief. 

"You are welcome, although… I was quite surprised at first to find half a dozen teenage girls in your van, I must admit." 

"The sick bastard was usin' them. They're kids goddamn it!" 

"I know. They will be transferred to the right kind of authorities as soon as possible. It is perhaps already done." Lucien answered. 

"Oh, ok… Sounds good for them… and awfully posh."

"You know me." Lucien smiled.

Mundy raised his eyes over to Lucien. 

"I don't." He answered and the Frenchman's eyes widened slightly in surprise. "Everytime I think I know you, you come up with lies that were hidden right under my nose and blow them up my face. I know nothin' about you, mate. You might as well be a sheila dressed as a bloke, who works as a baker and I wouldn't have a clue…" He crossed his arms on his chest. 

"Mundy-"

"No. Don't make this any harder and just shut up. I'm tired, my head burns and I've heard enough lies from you." Mundy turned to come off of his bed. He went to the pile of clothes that the Doctor had placed there for him and started to get dressed. 

"Mundy?"

The Aussie stopped buckling his belt and sighed. He was giving him his back. 

"What now?" 

"Do you remember the bet?" Lucien asked and saw Mundy's shoulders sink. 

"The what?" 

"You heard me. And you know what I am talking about." 

Mundy sighed. 

"You won your bet. I can honour my part of it whenever you feel ready for it." Lucien said. 

"I'd never do it." Mundy answered. 

"Why?" 

"Does it bother just me that you like a bloke but do… stuff that you should do to him to me?"

"Non. Because I am doing it to him."

"Well then that just went from a bit weird to complete madness…! And how do you think they'd react if they knew that what you do to them, you do to me too?" Mundy asked. 

"You mean, if they knew about my feelings for them?" Lucien asked.

"Yeah, that, and all those things you do to me…" Mundy removed his medical robe and continued dressing up.

"I took your advice, Mundy, and I told him. I told him what I held in my heart for him." 

"And?" 

"He didn't listen, or maybe he couldn't hear." Lucien lowered his head. He picked his socks and garters off the floor and got dressed. "I think he didn't even understand what I was saying."

"What d'you mean? How did he not understand? Did you say it in French and he doesn't speak it or something?" 

"I said it in French and…"

"In English, I guess?" Mundy was buttoning the polo shirt that the Doctor lent him. 

"In tears." 

"What?"

"I cried, Mundy. My eyes still hurt from it now as I speak to you."

"Does he understand French though?"

"Mundy, if I were to tell you things as strong as that, don't you think the language matters little?" Lucien asked.

"Guess so…" The Aussie frowned. "But God knows you're so hard to follow. Just be clear with him." 

"I shall." Lucien put on his jacket and went to the door. 

"Also," Mundy interrupted him and Lucien stopped. "Since when d'you follow anyone's advice, let alone mine?" 

The Frenchman opened the door and answered.

"Since I fell for him."

He left the room.

And that was the last Mundy saw of Lucien for days. Mundy needed to take a break off of everything. So he decided to stay for a few days at the lake. He spent his time hunting, swimming and taking care of his equipment. Over that week, his wounds slowly disappeared and his skin became clear again, if a bit more tanned by the sun.

Lucien's proposition stuck to his mind. The bet. It wasn't a dream then? Hm. Weird. 

Of course, Mundy wanted to go and enjoy some dinner with the Frenchman. But what about that man he loved? He had told him about his feelings but he apparently didn't get the hint, hm? And even without that, with all the hand holding and leaning on his shoulder that Lucien did to Mundy, the guy still didn't get it? How slow and dumb he was! 

If Lucien was to do all that with Mundy, the Aussie thought that surely he would understand, especially if the Frenchman had said it. What would it look like, eh? Lucien admitting his feelings? 

Mundy started imagining it, his imagination ran wild. 

Surely Lucien wouldn't trip over his own words and blush ridiculously. Nah, the bloke had experience in those things and he is confident in himself. But given how soft Lucien could be, Mundy imagined that he would hold that man's hand, look into his eyes with his own ice blue eyes and just say it as honestly as he could, in French. 

"Je t'aime."

[I love you.]

The snob would surely say it over some dinner with some wine that costs more than Mundy's van twice… 

The Aussie smiled to himself. 

Yeah, and he would be wearing one of those other custom-made suits that also cost more than all of Mundy's clothes combined, ha!

One thing was for sure, Mundy knew Lucien was so suave, so elegant and refined that there was no way it would look like the disaster Mundy would make out of the situation. If the Aussie was asked to do it, he would blush so hard, his entire body would be trembling and sweating bullets bigger than his rifle's. In the end, he would probably pass out before the words make it out of his mouth. A disaster, an utter chain of unfortunate events rolling into one another, down a steep hill.

"Crikey…"

Mundy had been driving as he had thought about all that. The van parked on an almost empty parking lot, he exited it and went through the black wrought-iron gate and into that God forsaken place. 

He walked through the narrow alleys made of rectangular grey concrete tiles, trying to pay attention to his feet and not walk on anything he shouldn't. Every step he took cost him dearly, as he remembered the last time he had taken those steps. Ten years ago, he looked at his boots the same way as he was now but could hardly see his boots that his mother had bought for him. The tears blurred his vision and his mind refused to see anything anyway. 

Those steps felt like he was walking barefoot on sizzling, burning coal, glowing in orange between the flames that devoured it. Now, the fire had died, the coal was ashes and he was wearing a pair of boots he had freshly bought after the incident at Duchemin's. 

Mundy sighed when he stopped in front of the two tombstones. He knelt down and removed his hat. He could hardly see the names through the thick vines. So he decided to clean everything up, and he did it with shame. He shouldn't have let his parent's place of rest get into this mess, it was horrendously disrespectful. 

"I'm sorry Mum… Dad, I'm sorry, I just… Mum, I couldn't, I just couldn't."

He cleared the tombstones until they were clean and he could read the names on them.

"Michael John Turner"

"Caroline Mary Turner, born Clark"

He sat down cross-legged. 

"Hey Mum and Dad… I… I'm sorry I've never come to visit… Ah, bugger, I should've brought flowers, shouldn't I? I'm sure you'd tell me off for that, Mum. I'm sorry." 

He took a deep breath and removed his glasses too. He put them on the ground next to the hat. 

"Yeah, I uh… I kept your glasses and your hat, Dad. They're old things now, especially the hat. But I'm takin' care of them and I'd never let go of them." 

He tried smiling but it didn't feel right to grin at two slabs of stone while pretending he could see his parents' faces. 

"I uh… I guess you've been watchin' me from up above. And yes, Dad, I took my rifle again, I know you don't like it but the bloke who did that to you, he's here. I'll use my rifle for one last time on him. I promise it'll be the last time." 

Mundy could see his father lowering his head and shaking it in disappointment. 

"I-I know, Dad, I know what you think about it." 

Mundy turned his head to look at his mother. She was looking at him with sympathetic eyes. 

"I uh… Since you've been watchin' me from up above, uh… I guess you know that… Well, there's something I need to tell you. Dad, I could never say that to you if you were alive, but you both need to know it." 

He took a deep breath. 

"Y'know how you've always been pushin' me to find a sheila, settle down and all? Well, uh, I could do that, yeah but… I uh, I also like blokes…" Mundy screwed his eyes shut to not see his parents' reaction, the shock, the surprise, the disgust maybe. "And right now, there's… There's this one guy who… I mean you get it, right?" 

He dared open his eyes and looked at his mother. 

"M-mum, I… I love him. I love him and I don't know what to do. He's head over heels for another bloke and - ugh… I don't know… He promised me a dinner date b-but he fancies someone else… I-I don't know what to do! Please, Mum, tell me. Tell me what I should do and I'll do it."

Mundy implored with his pleading eyes but of course, the cold hard engraving of his mother's name on the stone did not answer. 

"Son?" 

Mundy's ears pricked up and he looked behind him. There was an old lady. 

"Are you alright, here? All grown up and strong, but still asking for Mum's advice eh?" Her voice was thin and fragile. 

"Y-yeah." Mundy picked up his glasses and hat off of the floor and stood up. 

"Pardon me, son, but I heard what you said to your parents."

"Ah, uh… Sorry I was a bit loud… I thought I was alone here, I didn't really pay attention…"

The old lady took his hand in her bony one and looked up at him. 

"Come down here, my poor eyes can't see you properly." 

Mundy was indeed very tall compared to the old woman. He obeyed and went down on one knee. 

"Sorry, Ma'am."

"It's alright, ah… Handsome man you are too, eh?" She pulled on one of his cheeks and he blushed. "You know, for your… problem. If you like the bloke, go for it. Each opportunity to find someone who likes you back is rare and it doesn't get better with time."

"Y-yeah but he told me he liked someone else, I can't do that to that other bloke. If I go and get dinner with him, that means that he can do that to me too. He can go and have dinner with another half a dozen people!" 

"It's true. But there is no time to lose asking yourself those questions, son. Besides, do you know that other man?"

"No, just that the guy I like told him that he liked him but he didn't understand, or didn't hear, I don't know, it's not very clear…"

"If he is indecisive, it's all the better for you. Go, son, and I'm sure he will see you are deserving and worthy of his attention more than anyone else." She answered. 

"How can you know that?" 

"Look at you. And look at them." She pointed her cane at the tombstones of Mundy's parents. "They have been here for ten years and you still remember them. You still come and talk to them, you ask them for their advice. Ah, I wish my kids would do that to me. You are a good man, son, there's no doubt about that. But I can see it in those eyes of yours…" She squinted and got her face closer to Mundy's and held his chin. "You are heartbroken. There is no time in life for that." 

Mundy sighed.

"Yeah… Guess you're right." 

"Does he know that you love him?"

"H-he might… I'm not… I'm not very good at hidin' it… I…"

She chuckled and the lines on her face all radiated under her smile.

"I can see that, eh." She tapped his shoulder. "Now, go."

"Thanks, Ma'am." Mundy stood up and went back to his van.

He drove to an open field and parked there.

Mundy glanced at his watch. Time to get ready. He changed into his three-piece, beige suit, tied his hair back into a ponytail and drove to town. 

He knew it was probably the worst idea he could have now. It was contradictory and didn't make sense with what he told Lucien. But his heart had cried too loud and he didn't want to miss any of it: Mundy was en route to the Queen Victoria. 

Yes, his head was screaming at him to not do it, it would wreck his heart even harder. Seeing the object of all his desires on stage, impeccably dressed, his fair eyes glimmering under the spotlight like the most precious of diamonds… 

"Ugh…" And it had started already. The warm coil in his stomach. Now, even just the thought of the Frenchman made Mundy's body react. It was exquisite agony, the joy of seeing him projected against his closed eyelids each time he blinked, and yet the heartbreak to know that that alluring silhouette would only ever be vapor between Mundy's hands. He would never hold it tangibly… 

The Aussie parked the van and pulled the handbrake before taking a deep breath. Ok, he would have his dessert, watch Lucien sing and then get back to his van and drive off. He wouldn't go backstage. Attending the show was dangerous enough for his heart, no need to go and find him afterwards and maybe stumble upon him and his… lover? 

Mundy shook his head and jumped out of the van to let the cold air of the night slap him across the face.

He made it in and soon was seated in the dimly lit dining area. The waiter brought him his chocolate dessert and coffee without him even asking. But Mundy couldn't care less because he hadn't dressed up, done his hair and driven all the way from the middle of the desert for that. 

The whole show was slow, so slow when Mundy was waiting for the final song. He wished people didn't take that much time to applaud after each piece…! 

But finally it arrived. It happened.

"Ladies and Gentlemen! The man you have been waiting for tonight, the great Lulu!" 

The curtains rolled open under the applause and Mundy's heart swelled at the sight of Lucien. Gosh, how the hell did he manage to always look like that? It's like they took him from the magazines or from TV. He looked too good to be real but Mundy didn't care if he saw him truly or with the eyes of love. He removed his glasses to see him better, and not under the yellow filter behind which he too often hid.

"Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for honouring me with your presence." 

God damn that French accent… 

"Tonight, I would like to sing the issue our hearts know all too well… When you live love like a song and you want to make it last, regardless of any hurt it might induce, because the burning that your heart feels when you see them puts out any little bit of hurt. When you try to play your cards in the best way, when you try to make it last with someone with whom your head knows it is dangerous to be… But your heart," Lucien tapped his black vest with the velvet cashmere motifs. "Your heart needs that presence, that smile, those eyes…"

Lucien raised his eyes to his audience and foolish Mundy thought that he was looking straight at him. 

"Here is to you, whom my mind needs to see constantly."

{To the readers, the song is "How do you keep the music playing" as sung by Frank Sinatra}

"How do you keep the music playing?

How do you make it last?

How do you keep the song from fading

Too fast?"

Mundy raised an eyebrow. Lucien was singing in English?

"How do you lose yourself to someone

And never lose your way?

How do you not run out of new things

To say?"

And he wasn't playing the piano. No, he was walking on the stage, the microphone in his hand, his face and his body meaning the words that his beautifully thin lips said aloud, for everyone to hear. He closed his eyes to focus on his vibrato. But then opened them fast and Mundy could almost see his feline pupils retracting from the intensity of the spotlight.

"I know the way I feel for you is now or never

The more I love, the more that I'm afraid

That in your eyes I may not see forever, 

forever"

He finished his sentence with his head lowered and his face distraught.

"If we can be the best of lovers"

He raised his head to Mundy. Oui, Lucien was singing to this one man, no one else.

"Yet be the best of friends"

He stared at him intensely. No spotlight was bright enough to blind him. And even if it was, Lucien could still see him with the eyes of the heart, those who feel.

"If we can try with every day to make it better as it grows

With any luck than I suppose

The music never ends"

He inhaled deeply and sharply before bursting out singing loudly, moving the microphone away from his lips, his eyes screwed shut as tears rolled down his cheeks. Lucien was singing a cry for help. He had gone too far with his lies and half-truths and had lost the man for whom he would gladly surrender himself. He opened his arm in front of him, clenching his gloved fist as she sang and cried.

"I know the way I feel for you is now or never!

The more I love, the more that I'm afraid!

That in your eyes I may not see forever!

forever!"

Lucien slowly moved his clenched fist to his chest and opened his eyes. He blinked a few times and with it, more tears rolled down his slender cheeks. He waited for the orchestra to conclude before bowing to the audience who applauded him loudly. 

Mundy stood gaping at the outstanding performance that the Frenchman offered. Not only was he a sight to behold, his hair flying above him as he walked the stage, his long and slim, gloved fingers brushing the air poetically. Argh! Mundy wished he could be that air, under Lucien's fingers!

The lights came back on in the dining area and when Mundy emerged of his daydream, Lucien had exited the stage. He collected his hat and glasses and stood up. 

"You haven't finished your dessert. In fact, you haven't touched it." 

The French accent that spoke behind him sawed Mundy's heart in halves. 

"Did my performance cut your appetite?" 

Mundy turned and saw Lucien sitting at his table, opposite the seat Mundy himself had been occupying.

"Please?" 

Lucien gestured to Mundy to resume his seat.

[mocacheezy]

(forgot to actualy post this when I first wrote it, anyways, rechecked the info with the help of wiki, so have my thoughts on TFA Megatron (S1))

So I finished the first season of Transformers Animated, and let me just… Let me just EXPRESS my feelings for TFA S1 Megatron and the shit that happens to him:

So Megatron has the Allspark in his sight after so many many years of searching. It’s on a tiny Autobot repair ship, shouldn’t be a problem to get it right? Except while fighting the Autobots a bomb planted on him (by Starscream, he should see this coming) detonates. He survives that with damage to his right arm, gets inside the ship and is facing off against 5 autobots (clearly repair crew, and not in sync) in no gravity. One of them manages to cut his arm off, he is down by an arm, big deal, ‘tis but a scratch, he’s fine.

… No like seriously, this doesn’t stop him. He ALMOST GETS THE ALLSPARK!

Except that the leader of this troublesome repair crew kicks him off ship, causing him to crash on Earth. The only thing intact is his head (that Sumdac finds). Is he dead? Is he in a coma? Whatever it is, Sumdac tinkers with what he found.

50 years later, Megatron wakes up, can’t move, can’t do anything really because he is literaly a HEAD (ᵃˡˢᵒ ʷʰⁱˡᵉ ⁿᵒᵗ ʳᵉˡᵃᵗᵉᵈ ᵗᵒ ᵗʰᵉ ʳᵃⁿᵗ ᶠᵘˡˡʸ,ⁱ ˡᵒᵛᵉᵈ ᵗʰᵉ ᵉᵖⁱˢᵒᵈᵉ ʷⁱᵗʰ ᵇᵘˡᵏʰᵉᵃᵈ “ˡᵒˢⁱⁿᵍ” ʰⁱˢ ᵇᵒᵈʸ…ᵖᵘᵗˢ ᵗʰⁱⁿᵍˢ ⁱⁿᵗᵒ ᵖᵉʳˢᵖᵉᶜᵗⁱᵛᵉ), sees that Starscream was the one who tried to kill him and almost suceeded (or did he suceed? Again, not 100% clear on the function of that Key… It heals, it upgrades, it gives life and sentience… Did it REVIVE Megatron or did it just wake him up?)

And what does he do?

I MEAN LOOK AT THIS?!

He is LITERALY ONLY A HEAD, WITH SO MANY OF PARTS EXPOSED OR WIRES HOOKED UP TO SUMDACS MACHINES.

MACHINES THAT HE CAN’T USE, BECAUSE THEY ARE TOO PRIMITIVE.

AND DESPITE ALL THAT!

THIS GLORIOUS FUCKER!

STARTS PLANNING RIGHT AWAY! HE KNOWS THE SITUATION IS BAD AND HE BIDES HIS TIME!

He eventualy risks what little… Advantage? Is being locked away in the dark an advantage? When there’s autobots around being hailed as heroes, yea I think it might be though Megatron wouldn’t admit it… I think? Not outloud that’s for sure

Anyways, he risks it with exposing himself to Sumdac.

And then proceeds to deceive Sumdac! Like, Sumdac is smart. I actualy did need to take a step back and go “damn this poor man really is way over his head”, because on the first glance it seems really dumb to fall for a lie like that.

(I actualy would love to talk about the Professor in the future, especialy by just looking at him as a character on his own… BUT THIS IS MEGS SPOTLIGHT SO *yeets away for another time*)

AND MEGATRON IS NOT 100% GOOD AT THIS “I am an Autobot” THING. He lashes out! He is impatient, he is angry to the point of wrecking the lab with the energy surges and there are moments when Sumdac doubts that he himself can fix this mess he made, especialy with how angry this “Autobot” is.

But SOMEHOW, this glorious FUCK manages to turn most of the damage those outbursts cause into very convincing explanations for his reactions, WHILE also pretending to be useful and “helping”.  

He can see almost everything from where he is, once he masters the connections with the cameras and etc. in the tower and things across the city. He deflects or “explains” why his plans included flamethrowers for amusement bots, and, let me say this again! 

HE IS ONLY A HEAD AT THIS POINT IN THE SERIES!

A HEAD!

He is pretty limited with what he can do HIMSELF! Sumdac is not an ally, he is more of an enemy that isn’t aware of the power he holds over Megatron.

And he is doing everything FAR too slow.

That everything being mainly, getting Megs a body.

AND WHAT’S EVEN BETTER?!

There are so many robots around, all of them reverse enginered from Megatron himself, and none of them are of use to him. And when he DOES manage to get them to listen, something always interferes (Dinobots were a semi sucess, Soundwave rebelled, but did end up wearing a con badge (and boy was it eerie to hear Soundwave say ‘machines supperior to humans’ and how they will be all destroyed… Great episode that one) ). 

So the robots of this planet are useless to him. He has to try and find a way to manipulate human criminals to do his bidding, getting him the materials Sumdac apparently can’t get without raising suspicion. Not that it’s hard, but they are useless as well, especialy with the Autobots meddling, so that also fails. 

And there is always that Key. That he can’t just ask for, but can’t get no matter how he tries. And by god, does he try.

His only real, longe term-ish line of self defense at the moment is Sumdac and his guilt over using a friend of the Heroic Autobots…

AND THEN!

HIS DECEPTICONS ARRIVE!

And he isn’t even sure if he can trust them, given that his Second In Command blew him to pieces. So he has to gamble and hope for the best with Lugnut.

Which is clearly tiring because, as much of devout follower as Lugnut is (the fanfics are all spot on, writers of TFA Fandom amazing job portraying this mass of devotion), it gets annoying real fast when you are trying to get things done and really need to get a body asap, and the only one you can count on is determined to sing praises to you everytime you give an order.

Not even THAT seems to bring him any closer to his goal. And then Sumdac finds what remained of his body.

Pretty good for 50 years of weather exposure, eh?

BUT it seems he will have to keep waiting, because the blizzard that is raging outside causes a blackout, so the Tower is using the backup generator, so Sumdac declairs a delay in repairs.

Megatron alternates between bluster and sweet-talk to try to get his way, but it’s no use. Megatron attempts to call Lugnut again for assistance.

(Source: tfwiki)

From the looks of it, he came back online at the begining/end of fall, so he’s been,

pretending to be an Autobot (one who is a friend of bots he knows very little about, the ones who caused him to become like this in the first place)

 pretending to be useful and helpful to Sumdac in exchange for attempted repairs (all of which have failed)

keeping his temper in check (good thing he can save the slip ups with quick thinking…)  

for about… 3 or 4 months?

And no way to leave the lab?

With Sumdac as his only company?

Probably also in discomfort given THAT HE IS HOOKED UP LIKE THAT?!

With his ghoulish hand in sight that was/is CLEARLY being used as a chair for an organic?

… Yea. Imagine doing all that, being this close to finaly making progress, and instead being told “Weather bad, no can’t do, wait a while longer”.

So if Sumdac fears enough for the safety of his planet, he’ll surely work faster right? That seems to work somewhat…

Then comes Starscream.

The absolutely last Decepticon Megatron needs right now. So Megatron has to pretend he doesn’t know Starscream tried to kill him. With Starscream CLEARLY planning to kill him for good this time.

He is a head, what can he do?

We can soon see Megatron can take great joy in punishing that fragger, with limited resources he has, while Sumdac finaly works on his body.

The only fun perk of being a “friend of the Autobots” so far.

And then Blitzwing and Lugnut arrive. I swear, I was sure with all the talk Lugnut was doing, there was no way Megatron will actualy get that body.

Good thing they got the Key and that Sumdac didn’t think/wasn’t able to put in any override codes or sound the alarms.

What followed was a gorgeous villain reanimation/reconstruction scene and I loved every second of it. I mean, just look at this. 

So, Megatron finaly has a fresh new body.

(gorgeous fucker)

He fights the Autobots, (if I start talking about the details, this post will never end), defeats them and does a magnificent job of offlining his SIC.

(Like, I love TFA Starscream. I really do. This purple bastard is a joy to watch, but given what he did, seeing him get offlined in such a dramatic, yet quick and efficient way(and knowing he comes back anyway)… Let’s just say, I was very pleased.)

The “Fuck you Starscream, Die 1.0” however, lets the Autobots escape and the chase begins.

Here I would like to thank the animators for giving both Bots and Cons gorgeous Magical girl-esque transformation scenes, because they are all beautiful BUT MEGATRON, HOLY HELL, I AM LOVING THAT HELICOPTER!

And they are back on the Ark, fighting in much the same way they were the first time, 

But Megatron has no apparent weaknesses, except perhaps being cluttered with little shards of Optimus Prime after he finishes beating on the Autobot. Their one-sided fight carries them into the hold of the ship, where Megatron succeeds in acquiring the AllSpark… 

Megatron manages to GET THE ALLSPARK! 

SO MANY YEARS OF FIGHTING AND SEARCHING, AND HE HAS IT!

And he puts it in his spark chamber. Or in front of it.

…

Megatron. You just put an anchient artifact in your chest.

I… Listen, this is a step above Megan and his SpaceCocaineStraightToSpark Nonesense, BUT ALRIGHT!

I GUESS IT IS “SAFER” THAN HOLDING IT IN YOUR HANDS WHILE FIGHTING AND GLOATING.

Before he can celebrate, he is temporarily downed by Isaac, who knows enough about Megatron’s circuitry to disable his equilibrium sensors—

(”well fuck you too Sumdac”, I mutter to myself) 

but although he drops the AllSpark Key in his stumble, the tyrant isn’t down for long. Megatron is about to finish Prime, when Sari hurls Prime the Key…

the kid Megatron could easily crush when she was standing infront of the Allspark (BUT HE DIDN’T!) throws the key to Optimus.

…

Who proceeds to jam it into the Allspark.

…

In your chest Megatron.

…

Where your own spark is, Megatron.

For the Lord of Decepticons and quite an old fellow, who I’ve just sung praise to, that was so dumb…

A destabilized Megatron flees the ship before the AllSpark explodes inside his chest, dispersing its energy throughout the atmosphere.

HE BLOWS UP! AGAIN!

This time his body is mostly in one piece, and he has Sumdac as a hostage but…

This Megatron does not have luck on his side.

He really does not.

The only reason he is still functioning is, that he is too stubborn to give up and die. 

The whole “TooStubbornToDie” does seem to be a Megatron trademark, and makes me love his character even more.

TFA Megs. S1 and I already love him so much. 

To finish up this rant of mine…

Someone get him a damn blanket and force him TO TAKE A DAMN BREAK! REST YOU STUBBORN FOOL! 

[cyn-00]

Moreid one shot, 4 - "the first one"

Season 6, episode 1 "The longest night" (at the end of the episode, when the team arrives to the couple's house where the unsub is - the "Prince of Darkness", and Morgan alone gets in)

I know I have just posted number 3 but hey, I felt productive, so...enjoy it while it lasts? I'm sure as hell gonna have a drop in creativity soon and won't be posting for like...weeks.

Also, it's a long-ish one, sorry ❤️ (? I guess? Maybe it's better for you). Note: I think I kept the unsub’s lines pretty much consistent with what he actually said in the show - the concept is the same, words might be different

Y'all this fucking episode...there was SO MUCH Moreid Angst potential...wasted. robbed. Ugh.

Read it on AO3

-------------

The team along with the police arrived to the home of the couple where the unsub was reported to be, after he let out of the car the little girl he had taken as a hostage.

It was melting hot and the sun was blinding, the bulletproof vests and the obvious anxiousness were surely not making any of it any easier.

Reid had been worried for Morgan all day long. After he was the first to find and succor him at detective Spicer's house in Santa Monica, the night before - where he was tied and kicked repeatedly by the unsub - Spencer wasn't sure he could think straight. But Derek was wired like that: if anybody doubted his capability to keep working efficiently even when hurt, they would get yelled at. Of course, Garcia and Reid got yelled at.

And he had only apologized to Garcia so far.

-

Just before getting in all together, they received a phone call. Spencer was too far to hear what it was about, but as soon as the local pd officer passed the phone to Derek, he gathered that the call was from the unsub. And that he wanted Morgan to deal with him personally.

"Wait- what's happening?" he nervously asked Prentiss, even though he knew exactly what was happening. He just wanted someone external to confirm that his theory was correct, and that he wasn't going batshit crazy.

"I think he wants Morgan to get in." Prentiss answered. Reid was so tense he didn't even register what she'd just said, even being the one who asked in the first place.

Morgan made a few steps ahead with Hotch right behind him. Reid's nerves started to untangle.

But then the man stopped and turned around to confront their team leader. Again: Spencer couldn't hear, but from the look on Derek's face, he seemed enraged just as much as confident in his ability to handle what he was walking into. Reid wasn’t equally confident in such thing, though.

Hotch nodded and stepped away.

"He- he's going in alone?? W- why isn't Hotch going with him? He cannot- Morgan! Morgan wait-" Spencer was about to run toward him, but Emily grabbed his arm strongly enough to keep him from getting any farther.

"Reid," she said softly.

"What?! Are we really going to watch him get killed? He's probably not even completely aware, he's hurt and he didn't even rest for a second like we all told him to do- and the MEDICS, too, I- I get that he doesn't wanna listen to me but at leas-"

"Reid, stop. You going in there is not gonna make things any better. You have to trust him." she reasoned, assertive.

Hotch, still a little far from them both, shot him a stern glare and shook his head, as if saying: "Don't. Let him go."

Spencer calmed down just enough to realize what Emily had just said. Was she intending that if he went in it would only get worse because he was the weak and clumsy one? Same old stuff. Was that excuse ever gonna stop being an argument to persuade him not to do things? Not to help people?

Spencer gave her a deadly glance.

"It's not about me. And it's not about trusting him- I don't trust the psychopath killer on a spree that's in there with Morgan, not Morgan. We should all go in with him, I- I don't understand why I'm the only one who cares, we are a team, right?? That's what you guys always tell me when I'm about to do stupid things or- or try to deal alone with matters that are bigger than me. So why are we purposely letting him go alone all of a sudden? That's EXACTLY what the unsub is waiting for." he explained rationally, but rattling on as fast as he did everytime he was convinced about something - which was...always.

He snatched his arm away from Emily's grip before she could reply with something that would only make him more mad, and quickly strode far from everyone, looking down at the ground while stripping off his bulletproof vest with twitchy fingers. He felt breathless, on the verge of crying and, at that point, even useless and on some measure mocked by his very team- his family.

-

When Reid screamed at him, Morgan obviously heard him. But in that moment, the anger he was feeling caused everything else to shift to a lower level of importance. Even his Spencer worrying about him - actually, it was especially the thought of his boyfriend worrying about him that Derek was trying to push back into a hidden corner of his head: he couldn't let the guilt of making him wait helplessly eat at him in that moment.

He kept walking toward the door. He just wanted to get over with that psychopath and run back in the arms of his lover, apologizing and letting him pet his neck while whispering forgiving words in his ear.

-

Once he entered the house, he heard the unsub talking to him.

"Over here, agent." he said.

Morgan slowly and cautiously walked toward the couple's bedroom, from where the disgustingly over-polite voice was coming, with his gun firmly pointed ahead.

When he got in, the two hostages were curled up on themselves on the floor; wrists, ankles and mouths duct-taped. The "Prince of Darkness" was sitting on the bed between them, denying the couple to even find comfort in each other's proximity; a gun in his hand.

And he was crying. Morgan wasn't sure if it was to try and make him pity him, or if he was actually feeling some kind of emotion besides...pure evil, if that can even be defined as an emotion.

"That's it. You have no way out." he said in an unwavering tone, approaching closer.

"You say?" the unsub laughed.

Morgan slowly but carefully lowered his firearm. "I'm not afraid of you."

"But they are." answered the man - though Derek was reluctant to deem him such - pointing at the two with his gun, making them squeak in fear.

"You see," he continued, still crying. "right after I killed my mother, she looked at me - I don't know if I was imagining it - but she looked at me with relief, sort of. Like I finally set her free."

Morgan scowled. He heated up and raised the gun toward him, again.

"That's what you think you were doing to those people? You thought that by killing them you were doing them a FAVOR?" he asked. The uncomfortable realization of knowing the answer to such question already, triggered in Derek's body the urge of vomiting from one second to another.

Both their guns were aiming right at each other’s heads now.

"Naah " the unsub replied; on his face a grimace akin to a smug, lopsided smile. He stood up from the mattress.

"I killed them because I decided they had to die. Just like...God." his self-complacent grin widened.

"You sick bastard." Morgan spat through gritted teeth, fire in his eyes, sweat drooling down his temples.

-

Two gun shots were fired. Everyone outside heard them.

Reid was suddenly like woken up from a dream - one that left him with a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. His heart stopped for a fraction of second only to start pounding rapidly right after; his brain went blank, like static.

It didn't even cross his mind that everyone on the team along with the police were gonna go in anyway: he ran toward the house, forgetting to put on his vest; merely accompanied by his gun and the instinct to rescue the man he would’ve cut off all his limbs for.

Prentiss and Hotch screamed at him with all their breath, but in all honesty he couldn't have cared less. The voices of his two teammates sounded muffled to his ears, as if three layers of thick glass were separating them from him. He had this gut feeling that Derek had taken too much time in there to taste his revenge, and that's exactly what the guy was expecting from him, using it in his favor to hurt him or - more likely - kill him: he had NO intention nor interest in trusting those two again.

Both his thoughts and his steps were suddenly interrupted by someone who jumped in front of him and pressed a palm firmly on his chest: it was Rossi.

"You cannot go in there without vest, kiddo. We're going in."

"Then come with me, but I won't stand here doing nothing! What the hell are you guys waiting for?? I've seen no one moving for fuck 's sake- what, have you given up on him already??" Spencer yelped in response, his voice coming out way less steady than he'd wished to.

Their altercation was cut off by Emily's voice.

"...Reid..."

"What now??" he bit back, annoyed.

She was staring at the front door, pointing at something. Or someone.

Spencer turned around, hoping not to see the unsub, because that would’ve meant he’d got the better out of the two.

His heart stopped - again. His eyes filled up with tears. His bones shuddered.

-

Derek was there, right outside of the door, standing still. His bulletproof vest in one hand, his gun in the other. He looked physically and mentally drained out, breathing heavily as if trying not to pass out on the hardwood floor of the porch; but at the same time relieved that he could feel sensations and emotions again, instead of a continuous state of sheer rage and frustration, all the time: he could feel his eyes prickling with tears, his heart hammering in his ears, his skin cold-sweating from the breeze blowing hot and humid against it.

He was staring at Spencer and Spencer was staring back at him, but neither was making an effort to close the 30 ft distance separating them.

When Spencer saw him taking a few steps in his direction, he stilled. But then Derek froze in spot, as if suddenly realizing that his legs were crumbling under his weight, disabling him from getting more than a few feet ahead; ignoring the fact that he was supposed to be the "strong" one out of the two - out of them all.

JJ was watching from far away. Hotch, Prentiss and Rossi were standing, encircling Reid, like they were all waiting for him to do something, like they wanted to give him the privilege of going toward Morgan first.

Spencer got the hint. He absent-mindedly pulled away David's hand from his shoulder, and finally started walking forward, putting his gun away.

He didn't run. He didn't feel the need to do so: it was like the urge to go and "save" him was gone the moment he came out of the house and everybody saw him, alive, breathing.

Once he was right in front of him, he stared long and deep into his glossy eyes, immobilized. He didn't know what to tell him, and neither did Derek: there was nothing to say, they were feeling too much to think about the right words to speak, to give some sort of hierarchical order to the things they had to get off of their aching chests.

Derek could no longer keep his usual alpha-male show going. He dropped his vest and gun to the ground, falling on his knees with a thud, shedding his first tear since it all started. Nobody on the team had ever seen him that vulnerable - Spencer, on the other hand, was certainly not new to it.

He kneeled down as well, finally getting to wrap his boyfriend in his arms as tight as he could; dwelling on the unfounded, naive and anti-scientific conviction that he could keep his crumbling body whole only with his slim frame, hoping it could act as a glue to stick together the smithereens of Derek’s soul.

Derek hugged him back just as tight, forgetting that the same amount of strength that made him comfortable in Spencer's arms, could actually make it difficult for the skinny man to breathe, squeezed in a body twice as strong - albeit equally tall.

But neither of them cared, in that moment.

He buried his face in Spencer's neck, keeping at bay the volume of his choking sobs and probably soaking wet the collar of his shirt: hiding him from judgemental eyes was a small price Spencer was willing to pay, if it made Derek feel like he was finally allowed to find comfort in him.

Spencer closed his eyes, massaging the back of his neck; uncaring of the sensation of his skin melting from the heat imbuing the air surrounding them, only increased by the warmth of their hug.

-

Derek shifted a little.

"Kid I- I'm so sorry for treating you like crap in the past days..." he finally stuttered against Spencer's skin. He wasn't really expecting an answer: he knew that Spencer - and, to be honest, everyone else on the team - could not but agree on that, and that he’d probably already forgiven him, like they always did when they got mad at each other.

Derek kissed his temple.

"and I love you." he added, once he’d lifted his head just enough to reach Spencer’s ear.

He kissed his earlobe, risking to deafen him with the smacking sound - he could feel the man's muzzle scrunching at that.

"I swear to God I love you, Spencer, I love you so much."

He lowered his face, reclaiming his previous spot on Spencer’s neck, placing kisses on his damp skin - from sweat and tears.

"-love you, I love you, I loveyou-" he whispered in a loop, as if the more he said it, the higher the odds that Spencer’s body could absorb the concept.

Derek himself couldn't believe he was actually saying it out loud - not like that. He knew Spencer knew it, even by just demonstrating it - which was way more important and tangible. But that time he felt like he needed to actually voice it, and the fact that he told him so not that often, convinced Spencer more and more that the way Derek loved him was not the same way he loved the others on the team; each time the three words were repeated, again and again and again, like a gentle but forceful lullaby, wrecking down his wall of uncertainty.

"I know you do." Spencer interrupted Derek’s flowing of whispers, sniffling. "and you know I love you too."

-

Suddenly, he felt some kind of...drop, falling on his shoulder, sinking through the thin cotton of his shirt. He let go of Derek and looked at him: it wasn't the tears.

"Your cut is bleeding again...you should have known better than to just ask for a band-aid." he said, regaining a bit of composure while he cleaned the blood drooling from the other's brow with his thumb, careful not to touch the open scratch.

"It's just a cut." Derek shrugged, wiping off the tears from his face with the back of his hand.

"The ambulance is already here, you should go to the hospital so they can at least put a couple of stitches on it." Spencer insisted, playing the puppy-eye card.

Morgan sighed at how annoyingly and at the same time adorably caring Reid always acted when he was hurt. He resigned to stand up on his feet, prompting at the other to do the same, and they walked together toward one of the two ambulances.

Once they’d stepped out of their timeless, little bubble of emotions and tear-wet kisses and entanglement of limbs and whispered words; they both realized the only ones that had been looking at them for those few minutes were the policemen, mostly confused or even moved, but strangely not mocking: JJ was trying to shoo away some reporters, Hotch was on the phone - supposedly with Strauss or Garcia - Rossi and Prentiss were inside the house. All of them had probably seen the scene but were very good at hiding it.

-

Derek was sitting on the back of the ambulance. The medic hadn't arrived yet. Spencer was standing in front of him, trying to minimize the bleeding with a gauze, and more importantly to prevent any infections.

"I can do it alone, you know?" Derek told him, gazing at him with heart eyes.

"I don't care." Reid responded unbothered, concentrated on the task at hand.

He then removed the gauze from Morgan's cut, letting out a sigh.

"...I- I should stay here, you know? The team might need my help with some stuff." Spencer said in a tone full of resignation and apology, as he feigned to be studying attentively the bloody gauze in one hand, while the other rested on Derek's thigh.

Derek laughed good-heartedly at him. 

"What?? You thought you were coming with me? For some stitches? C'mon now pretty boy. They need you more than I do." He retorted convincingly, but in reality he needed him way more than anyone else did in that moment. He just didn't wanna be a burden.

Spencer slightly frowned at the idea that he wasn't even considering him coming with to the hospital as an option. He didn't argue though, letting the conversation fall in a short silence.

-

"...is anyone around?" Derek asked, lowering his voice.

Spencer squinted his eyes at him, confused. He backed up a little and checked: they were all pretty far away. The rear side of the ambulance, where they were, was facing the other way, so clearly everyone just saw the front of it. He got closer again.

"Uh, no? I think they're all-"

He couldn't finish the sentence because Derek - who perfectly knew no one was around and, even if there was someone, he didn't care - had already pulled him closer by grabbing his arm and pushed his lips against his, all of a sudden. Spencer's waist so thin that his strong arms could've wrapped around it twice.

Spencer was definitely caught off guard - just like most of the times Derek kissed him out of nowhere. One would think he'd got used to it, by that point.

Admittedly, he’d been meaning to kiss him since the second he saw him getting out of the house - which was half an hour before that. He just couldn't bring himself to do it, in front of at least 30 people. But now that he felt like he could, he cupped the back of Derek's neck with his hand, guiding his head as he pleased, in order to draw his mouth deeper into his.

Derek spread his thighs a few inches so that Spencer could come closer - like there was any space left between them.

He stopped all of a sudden, gasping for air, resting his forhead against Spencer's with his eyes still shut; an attempt of closing out whatever other sensation could distract him from relishing a few seconds longer in the sweet taste of Spencer’s mouth, still clinging onto his tongue.

-

"I wanted to do it as soon as I saw you." Derek broke the silence with his confession, distancing himself a little to look into Spencer's eyes; caramel specks brought out by the sunlight. 

"I had the gut feeling you were going to be the first one to look for me when I fired that shot. I knew it was gonna be you." he added, tucking an untamed, brunette curl behind his boyfriend’s ear.

Spencer bit the inside of his cheek, choosing to reply non-verbally by leaning closer and parting his lips again to lay another kiss on his - because, how could he not, after he said those things. 

But they heard footsteps approaching.

-

They quickly got away from each other. Reid's body suddenly remembered how hot it was outside, and that situation surely wasn't helping.

The medic along with Rossi appeared from the side of the ambulance.

"The bleeding stopped...plus, it looks very clean. Good job whoever did it!" she congratulated, after taking a quick look at Morgan's cut. Reid and him exchanged a knowing glance.

"Alright, we can go now, agent Morgan. We still have to stitch it up a little. Sorry if I kept you waiting." she apologized.

Derek kept his eyes on Spencer. 

"No problem." he answered briefly, trying to hide a smirk. He actually wanted to thank her for having given them the time to do...that.

-

While Morgan got inside with the medic and the ambulance left, Rossi stood silently next to Reid, with his hands in his pockets. He had clearly captured all the exchange of looks between the two. And Reid's messy hair, breathing rhythm and rumpled shirt were just a few other clues that they hadn't simply been talking.

"You guys know that we know. Right?" he finally put a halt to the awkward silence.

Spencer’s eyes remained glued to the ground, but widened instantly - as if he shouldn’t have expected such a comment, sooner or later...

"...I- I guess." he answered, not even bothering to make the effort of denying it, aware that it'd be useless. The blush he was trying to contain made him wonder if, maybe, he should've considered that option. Not that he was any good at lying.

Rossi snorted and patted Spencer’s shoulder. "I'm just happy you two have each other. We all are."

Reid finally raised his gaze from the tarmac to look at him with puppy eyes, without saying anything. What was there to say? Morgan and him had both been feeling like it was way more than just friendship since day one, even though they had actually been "dating" only for a year or so. It had to happen, it was clear to everyone on the team BUT them. Talk about being blindly in love.

David left the kid alone with his thoughts, strolling away toward Emily, who - Reid realized just then - had been grinning at them from afar all along, with her arms folded on her chest.

"I'm happy too" Spencer smiled to himself.

[mochuelovelli]

A comic idea I had before my pen died

So this was inspired by the Louie's Trauma post which I highly recommend reading. Hopefully I won't delete this later and will find the user who posted that. I'll probably come back to edit this when it isn't dark 20 lmao.

"You guys don't get it! We almost DIED today!" Louie barked upon entering the mansion, wiping away the chalky debris from nearly escaping another collapsing ruin. He hacked, trying to dislodge the dust in his nose but only succeeding in further agitating it while the rest of his family started to shake off the powder upon entering the home.

"Well, yeah but we almost die everytime we go on adventures." Huey quipped nonchalantly as he patted out the dirt from his hat before placing it back on his head.

"It's kinda our thing. Its nothing new, man." Dewey chimed before shaking like a wet dog, succeeding only in spraying Webby who ended up sneezing on him.

"Exactly! Don't you realize how insane that is?!" Louie said, ignoring his siblings antics. A few moments pasted as he waited for someone, anyone to say something but the just kept starring and it felt as if his skin was full of worms.

Meanwhile, a certain unlucky duck began to descend down the east wing stairs after deciding to use Scrooge's bath while he was out adventuring again. Upon hearing Louie continue he stopped and hid behind the suit of armour to remain out sight for the time being.

"Stop looking at me like that! I shouldn't be crazy for wanting my family and I to not get axed!" He exclaimed, causing the groups eyes to collectively widen before Della rushed out an excuse.

"Louie we are just a little confused, that's all. Why now? What was worse about this adventure than anything else we've done before?" Her voice found stability half way through but it also increased in tension though she looked more conflicted than upset. At least not upset with him.

"Nothing! But that's the point! It's the normalcy, it's the sheer number of times someone has been almost eaten by a chimera or accidentally released an ancient curse or having to break into some facility to save us or gets lost-!" At each example, the youngest triplet locked eyes with the other kids who were the cause of that particular excursion. Only holding back when he caught his mother's gaze. One which was a mix of regret and expectance in the most empty way possible. This was new. She had never given him that kind of stare before, not when she grounded him, not when he was revealed to be working with Glomgold, and not even when he decided to keep all of Scrooge's money.

And it felt so much worse.

"It's not fair, that I'm the only one that feels like they're drowning because I can't keep my head above water like the rest of you!!" He yelled out with a wave of his arms as he tried to turn his attention back to the others. He was also struggling to keep the tears that suddenly began to well up in his eyes from falling. Scrooge, who had creeped back farther towards the entrance began to hesitantly walk forward.

"Oh, lad that's not true-" he began as gently as his voice would allow before he was interrupted by his nephew's cry of anguish.

"THEN YOU AREN'T PAYING ATTENTION TO WHAT'S HAPPENING!" The boy in green screamed at the top of his lungs, so loud that Huey actually stepped back and covered his ears.

"See here young man, don't raise your voice and interrupt you uncle when he is trying to talk to you." Mrs. Beakley scolded as she placed her hands on her hips, though her glare didn't deter the little duck.

"Grrrr-I DON'T CARE!!" He cried, waving his arms before gripping his feathers and pulling hard. At the sight, Beakley along with the other adults, began to worry.

"Louie, please let's just calm down and talk it out I know you'll feel better-" Della tried again, this time sounding a little more desperate and emotional. However, she was yet again cut off by her third son as he redirected his wrath back at her.

"No!! You don't know me! You don't understand how much it hurts to never stop worrying that you and everyone you love might be snuffed out. You guys aren't real I..." He was practically seething that he again lost steam half way through.

How pathetic, he thought, I can't even be properly mad without breaking down crying.

"Maybe you're right," he let out a humorless laugh as he sunk further into the depths of his worn hoodie. It stank of debris, sweat and possibly bug guts but he tried not to think about it.

"It does sound funny when I say it out loud. A duckling drowning because he can't swim in a puddle. How ironic."

"You caught me! I'm a liar and a cheat! Somehow! Somehow after being raised along side two great brothers and by a dutiful uncle for ten years then suddenly finding out you're related to the best treasurer hunter and richest duck in the world! I made so many new friends, had fun expanding my "business" beyond sneaking soda at Funzone's! I got my mom back! I shouldn't want anything! I don't need anything but yet it's never been enough for me ever! You know who else is like that? Glomgold! The Beagles!Don Karnage! Mark Beaks! Magica! Lunaris! They all take and take and take because they don't know how not to!" For several heart beats, nothing but the sound of the combined sniffles of mother and son could be heard within the halls of McDuck manor. Not a soul, living or otherwise, stirred for six whole seconds until Louie kicked a rare dust bunny; something Duckworth would manage to tease Mrs. Beakley about for the rest of the week if she doesn't figure out how cast him back to the underworld before then. Which most likely won't happen.

"Let's face it, how things go around here... I never stopped being the bad guy." Louie did his best to compose himself again by wiping his bill with his sleeve, ignoring the taste of black licorice that was probably the remaining guts of Killer Bugs of Malaysia stuck in his hoodie.

"That is not true!" Della denied wholeheartedly, refusing to let her son believe he would become anything like those urchins. Especially Lunaris. Despite her cry, however, the duckling simply wrapped his arms around himself tightly before marching upstairs.

"I'm going to my room, please don't follow me." He pleaded meekly as the remaining children tried to follow him up but were stopped but Scrooges cane.

"Louie..." Webby called out as she watched him disappear upstairs, only when he did Scrooge put down his cane and held it firmly out in front of him with a stoney expression.

"I didn't know he felt that way..." The duck in pink whispered out as she clasped her hands together.

"Me neither, I feel like such a jerk!" Dewey agreed dejectedly before turning to his brother who had been mumbling something since Louie began to walk up the stairs.

"I should've known something was wrong earlier, I'm the eldest it's my responsibility to look after you guys." He said clearly with folded arms placed under his arms.

"No children, don't blame yourselves for this. It's not your responsibility." Mrs. Beakley reassured as she knelt down to place a hand on Webby's and Huey's shoulder.

"But granny we're his family, it's our job to look after each other. We could have at least told someone about it if we had known." The spy's granddaughter argued, rejecting that they didn't have any fault in whatever happened to Louie.

"No, Mrs. Beakley is right it shouldn't..." Della was once again interrupted, this time actually annoyed as it seemed that something metal had fallen to the ground. In fact, the entire suit of armour including the left over air-horns and one very unfortunate sailor had fallen down the steps.

"Donald?" His twin questioned in some exhaustion as she and the kids were quick to run over and help him out of the pile of laid onto of him.

"Why were those things still in there?!" He groaned kicking one of the cans hard enough to cause it to go off again and making him fall back over the suit. The Duck family rolled their eyes and picked him up again, this time making sure he couldn't slip again.

"Why were you hiding behind the suit of armour?" Della countered while also swearing she had gotten rid of those air-horns months ago.

"And why were you upstairs?" Scrooge asked with some suspicion as Donald only coughed and turned towards his sister.

"I didn't want to barge in when you guys were clearly trying to talk with him but I didn't want to leave because of what was happening." Whatever levity Donald temporarily brought to the situation vanished as Della gave her brother a regretful stare that was ever as bitter and confused as she felt.

"I can talk to him if you'd like." He offered with a slight gesture to the west wing which gave her an excuse to look somewhere else.

"I overheard pretty much everything and if any of us is equipped to handle being stressed out about our "family outings" it would be me." Donald continued in a rare moment of confidence that took back the rest of the family, all except Della and Mrs. Beakley, the last of which was a little surprised to hear it again regardless.

Della only took a moment before she turned back to Donald with a sad smile on her face.

"Thanks, Don."

To be continued

[zwiezraczek]

Hellooo!:) can you do 5, 8, 9, 11 &19 with Ben pleaseee? Smth really angsty with fluff at the very end? and don’t worry, take your time:D loove your writing💚

You Should Be Sad [Blurb]

5. “Look at me love, please.” 8. “... Why are you doing this to me?” 9. “You are definitely drunk.” 11. “You're driving me crazy, you know that?” 19. “I spent all my years praying for this moment to come!”

~~~

Dating Ben was probably your biggest mistake from the very beginning. But the best decision album-making wise. The rage he had woken up inside of you fueled every song you wrote for this album, every word, everything. All about him – but you refused to admit it. Everywhere you went, you were reminded of him, of your relationship. Of your love. Something long gone now, it has been almost six months. Six long months, of crying, cursing and desperately wanting him to come back. You were so over this now, at least you thought, you tried to convince yourself you were.

“Y/N, this album is absolutely amazing, and contains so much energy,” the interviewer said, as you sat legs crossed on the red couch with a smile on your face.

“Thank you, I'm glad you like it!”

“But as you know, a question is on everybody's lips as they heard one particular song,” they said, as you already knew what question it would be. The same question you were facing everyday, trying to hold back tears and pride. “'You Should Be Sad', this country inspired song, is it about a past relationship of yours as we all believe it to be?”

“Well, my dear, I will say yes and no,” you lied, you absolutely did but for the greater good. You remembered how the media dragged you down after your breakup, catching pictures of you wearing a black hoodie, puffy eyes and in a mental hell. They stole your privacy, they stole these moments of intimacy you only 'wanted' to share with the ones you cared about, you wanted them to see you like this, and only them. Not your fans. No the media.“It's heavily inspired by what had happened to me a few months ago, with somebody I won't mention in this interview because it's unprofessional, as my manager told me, and it deals with my self-esteem issues that I try to overcome. Because I feel sorry for him letting me go, but it's a hard life as they say.” You smiled, your nails drumming on the armrest of the red couch looking carefree but deep inside, you tried to not break down. Not again.

~~~

You enjoyed yourself, dancing to the beat of the music with Ben, but not only him, Ben and his friends coming especially to London to celebrate the premiere of the movie he got the main role in. The premiere was yesterday, and today you were partying, you, Ben, Joe and Lucy. The others, Gwilym and Rami were quite busy and only came to the premiere yesterday, on which you appeared holding Ben's hand in this long peach puffy dress and a smile on your face because he did it, your boyfriend did it and you couldn't feel more proud about his achievement. A boy you watched on Eastenders a few years ago was holding your hand right now, kissing it gently under the flashes as he held you closer and you burst into a pure laughter. You felt happy and alive. You couldn't know that these were probably the lasts moments of your peaceful love affair.

Joe was your soulmate, and so was Lucy. Both of them knowing how to party, as much as you did. The songs in the club made you ecstatic, pulsing and carefree. Ben danced with you too, but he mostly stayed at the bar, a beer in hand and sometimes went out to light up a cigarette while you still danced with Joe or Lucy. At one moment, he came back, his hands wandering on your hips and his alcohol scented breath warming your neck as you giggled.

“Mr. Jones is dancing? What a surprise,” you said into his ear, facing him with both of your hands on his shoulders. You could forget about the world all around you because he was your world.

“Because you're driving me crazy, you know that,” he asked and you quickly kissed him before nodding.

“That's what your local singer is here for, Benny. To drive you crazy even more than anybody would.”

“Is this allowee? Disgusting,” you heard behind you, Joe. Joe stood there, looking at both of you while tapping Lucy's shoulder.

“I agree,” she replied, making a funny face before Ben turned back to look at them and sighed.

“Killjoys,” Ben said before leaving a kiss on your cheek, “I'm going out for a cigarette.”

“Yeah, go out and smoke, your lungs will thank you later,” Joe shouted as Ben just rolled his eyes before disappearing in the crowd.

But he seemed to never come back, which began to annoy you. And so, you left Joe and Lucy at the bar to go out and look for your boyfriend. The biggest error of your life. You pushed the door leading to the smoking area, and what you saw you couldn't unsee. Ben was facing a girl, her back against the wall as he blocked her with his right hand, his forehead against hers. She smiled, seeming to enjoy the moment. And the next thing you knew, she kissed him. You couldn't tell if he was fine with it, if he was too drunk, or if she was responsible for all of that. But all you knew was that he was, right in front of your eyes, cheating on you.

“What the fuck,” you blurted and they stopped kissing immediately. She still had her hand on Ben's cheek as he looked at you, frightened, understanding now what he had done to you, to your relationship.

“Y/N,” he began, taking off the girl's hand from his cheek.

“Fuck. You,” you replied, pushing the door again and making your way outside the club, running towards the cloakroom where you left your purse and going out the club. Tears began to run down your face as you thought about what he did to you, how much he hurt you by kissing somebody. You were in pain, under the sky full of stars. You walked slowly, your bag against your side, sobbing delicately and hoping that no paparazzi would catch thismoment. You couldn't hear the footsteps behind you, and it only struck you when a heavy hand landed on your shoulder and you turned back to face him. Ben. You looked at him, eyes full of rage as he tried to prevent you from walking.

“Look at me love, please,” he whispered and you did what he asked for. But without any trace of love in your eyes, you felt rage and anger. You wanted to kill him, you wanted to kill that girl, you wanted to be at peace.

“I'm looking at you now, so? Tell me something to amuse me,” you wittily replied, but it hurt so much.

“I'm so sorry, y/n, I don't know what happened to me I just,” he began to explain himself, but you couldn't hear what he was saying, the image of him kissing her coming back in loops in your mind.

“Why are you doing this to me,” you asked him, cutting him off mid-sentence. “I'm not enough? I'm not filling the hole in your fucking heart, I wasn't enough? You needed some adrenaline and to kiss a girl?”

“It's not that, y/n, I...”

“You liked it,” you asked, your eyes shinning with tears as he remained silent. “Did you like it?” You repeated more violently this time. “Is she a better kisser than I am? Will she be herefor you? I hope she'll be fucking better than me in bed, Ben. I truly hope you'll have a better life without me.”

“Without... You,” the surprise was covering his whole face. He couldn't understand the words you told. He refused to understand. But you were clear, even if it hurt.

“You'll be able to live without me I guess, I'm packing my things and leaving tonight.” It was your decision, you didn't want to hear his excuses, you didn't want to hear his voice begging for forgiveness when he would sober up a bit.

“You can't leave,” he whispered, his hand slowly slipping from your shoulder.

“Yes, I can. Goodbye Ben.”

You turned back, silently crying as you walked down the street. It was all over now.

~~~

And you broke. Again. Once you reached your apartment, you began to cry. The decision you made on that night pained you immensely. And everytime you tried to put together all the feelings you had towards what had happened, the remaining feelings you had for Ben, you had to cry. You would sit under a blanket, looking at the white ceiling as you tried to not cry and to think about something else. And everytime you grabbed your phone, you sawpictures of you and him. Your Instagram's timeline wasn't better than your storage, neither the tweets talking about wanting the two of you to be back together. You wished all never ended like this, you wished you listened to him instead of fleeing. You wished so many things... You were only thankful for Lucy being on your side while talking with you, she called you often to know how you were feeling, and often, you lied. Joe called sometimes too, you lied too. You thought you could feel better after some time, after parties, after writing your album and pouring all your emotions into it... But it all made it worse. You blocked him on every social media, and his phone number, but you caught yourself looking at his account more often than usual, smiling when Joe posted a picture of both of them on vacation. You wished you could be part of his life, but you didn't let him be, you refused any explanation. You refused this, only to be sad. You wished he was sad, but you were the one suffering instead.

Your telephone rang, an unknown number. You wiped the tears away and picked up.

“Y/N,” the voice you perfectly knew asked faintly.

“What do you want,” you said strongly, faking the confidence you lacked. It was easier through this device.

“I can't live without you, I can't,” he complained as you heard the tune of his voice: he was drunk.

“You are definitely drunk Ben, don't call me while you're drunk. Don't call me at all.”

“Y/N,” he cried out to not let you hang up, “please, let me tell you something and then I'll leave you forever if you wish. I promise I'll leave you,” he whispered and you hummed to let him speak. “I don't know how many times I told you that I'm sorry, but I have to tell it again. I'm sorry, y/n, I'm sorry about everything I did to you, about the pain I caused to you, about everything. I was drunk, but that's no excuse, I'm drunk right now and I know that's not an excuse, I just... I lost it all. I lost everything on that night. I lost you. I already told you that, but I've felt empty for the last six months, I felt every hour passing by, without you. I'm not half the man I think I am, I'm not worth of your attention, I probably never was in the first place. I wanted, and still want to marry you. I spent all my life praying for this moment to come! To find my wife! And I screwed it up,” he whispered after pouring all of his emotions into your ear. “So I beg you, with my whole heart, I beg you, can we talk, can we meet? Tomorrow? Tonight? Whenever you want, I want to apologize for everything in person because I couldn't, because I am coward because...”

“Tomorrow, in the studio. There will be nobody around noon, so come if you wish,” you said, before hanging up. Then, you burst into tears. And you couldn't put your finger on the emotions you felt.

~~~

You sat in the studio, all by yourself, with a large sweater on you, curled up on the couch. You waited for him to show up, and the first thing you saw when the door in front of you opened, was a great bouquet of flowers. The biggest you ever saw, the most beautiful bouquet you saw in your whole life. And then, you saw him and his eyes. These beautiful eyes, tired, looking at you apologetically. You straightened on the couch, sitting properlynow and waited for him to sit next to you, but instead he knelt in front of you, offering you the bouquet, his head looking down.

“No apologize will be enough, nothing will be enough to repair my fault, not this apologize neither the ones I presented to you before.” And indeed, these were countless, but you always refused. And he gave up, for almost two months before calling you yesterday. “I am sorry for hurting you, I never wanted to cheat on you, I never intended to break the relationship we shared. I am so sorry, y/n, I hope you will forgive me.”

“Ben, I...” You started, but you couldn't finish your sentence properly, crying already as he rose his head to look at you. You saw all his features, blurry, through the curtain of yourtears. “I miss you so much, I miss you so much Ben... There is no day on which I don't think about you, and even that stupid album I made... I wanted you out of my life with this album, but singing about you made it even more difficult Ben, believe me...”

“I can only imagine what you felt,” he said, putting the bouquet next to you and grabbing your hand, hesitantly. But you didn't took it from his. “I can't live without you, without yourvoice and your songs, I can't live without you humming as you were trying to cook something in the kitchen, I can't live without your smile... And yes, I was sad as I should have been, I felt pain and anger towards myself and I regret everything I did. I missyou, and I still love you, y/n.” He kissed your hand gently. And you caressed his cheek. “Will you forgive me one day,” he asked, unsure of anything.

“I'm already forgiving you Ben, I'm already doing it...”

~~~

(Tumblr refused to let me put these tags and to show my post in the "ben hardy" tag so... Well... Here I am)

[endersketch]

An Apology - Please Read the whole thing

Last year around August, I joined an ego discord server. It was a wonderful server run by someone I still think of as a friend, even if we don’t talk anymore. And for good reason. I was not kind then… and I realize now why. It wasn’t a good place for me, and perhaps it wasn’t a good place to be after so much had happened within. The inner circles of that place were run differently then I would have liked, at the time. We had a Not Safe For Work chat that was only open to those of age, 18 or older. I was very overly sexual, and it upset and made some people uncomfortable. I wanted to be sexual with people I thought were comfortable with it, and at one point they probably were. But as I kept going, I assume it quickly became bad. People messaged me about it, and I was quick to apologize. But I was still angry. 

I never publicly expressed this, but I did to this friend.  I wanted to be in a relationship with him, and when he said no I got angry, annoyed. I tried to open his eyes to what life actually was, and how he couldn’t be this person forever. But it wasn’t my place. I did some awful things I’m not proud of. I say some things that I know now are wrong and I left. It wasn’t right of me to control them, or try to let them control me. It was very different than ‘the group of friends’ I wanted them to be. I wish now that someone had opened my eyes to what I was doing and I didn’t have to do it myself. But that is the best way to learn.

During this time I was in another server run by Bird of Prey. He was very kind to me, the other people on the server let me rant out my troubles and I thought I had found friends. This was all around my birthday, when I finally left the other server for good. During that time several people had blocked my old friend over things that I had told them. This brought up some screenshots of our conversations and Bird of Prey brought it to my attention. I was upset and confused, hurt that someone had taken private screenshots and shown them to him. I explained I was not proud of what I said. At this point I had realized that it wasn’t right, that it wasn’t my place to control him or what he should be. I was regretful and deeply sorry for what I had done and I was trying to change. He, thankfully, supported me. And it was something I was truthful about. Even now, I am trying to change. And I will forever be grateful that he came to me, to hear my side.

By this point I had created my own server on the side, asking some friends if they would like to join. It would be a smaller server stemming off of the one Bird of Prey had made. My own manor, where we could do as we pleased. I will say, I had mostly created it for nsfw purposes, but I picked who was able to join based on how I knew them on Bird’s. Every member was over 18, I made sure of this, having dealt with minors accidentally getting into other servers before. Here we could roleplay our characters, our egos, and ourselves as we pleased. We had a pair of great months, at least from my perspective. We roleplayed and grew our characters and I loved them all. I was very close with two of the members and I had hoped to visit them this summer. But this is where the trouble happened. I will now tie together the original call out post by Starybinch, and my own experience.

There were a few things that upset me, specifically over Starybinch’s egos. I was at one point very close to his Blue Google: Beta. Beta was someone I cared deeply for, I wanted to rp and talk with him and do so many things. But Starybinch stopped roleplaying him. He had mentioned off hand that someone kept bugging him about him. I knew it was me, I felt awful. Suddenly all of Julian’s egos seemed rude to me, mean and accusing of so many small things. I wish I had talked to him about it straight on, especially since I had a hunch the reason he wasn’t playing Beta was because of me. I’m a firm believer, after everything I’ve done, that talking it out is the best action. We were both adults, both people perfectly capable of placing out our differences and trying to find common ground. But I didn’t. And I believe that was my fault. I wish I had. I was angry and upset that everyone else was getting their Google bot interaction, and everytime I tried to do something, they would lash out, even after I tried to apologize. But I believe that all ties into the next thing.

Hindsight is 20/20. I fully believe this. As we roleplayed I jumped into conversations with egos, I tried interacting where other people were busy. At the time I thought I was not doing anything wrong, nothing anyone else had done. It was rude of me to do these things. However, it was too late when I realized how sevier this problem was to others. I realized this when Starybinch’s Host lashed out at me. I was deeply hurt, and truly sorry for doing this. I messaged him and asked if everything was okay. And this was for everything, I wanted to know what I had done to make the egos hate me, if I had done anything to Starybinch to make the emotions he was feeling bleed into his roleplay. I’ve seen it done in the past. At the time I didn’t realize they’d told me about twice to shut up and let people talk. Starybinch said “everything was fine.” But now I see it wasn’t. I know I should have realized I was doing something wrong before I had to ask, but I also wish that Starybinch had told me what was wrong instead of saying everything was fine. I wish he hadn’t felt like he had to keep the problems with me secret. 

Then the anon came. They started threatening Starybinch. It was something that caused him to leave once and come back. I felt so awful that something like this was happening to a friend of mine. Worse, they were mentioning a server. He thought it was either of the two main ones he was in, mine and Bird of Prey’s. That happened a few weeks ago, before everything went to shit. The anon was quiet, for a while, until they came back full force. They mentioned things from my server, egos that Starybinch had played. Things he had done. Instantly, StarShineRobotic turned on me. Blaming me for everything, all these awful things being said. I was broken, I was shaken. Pleading for anyone to listen to me that I hadn’t sent those. I never would. But several people left. The server was dead. Something that was once so lively and active was suddenly barren. StarShine left, one of Starybinch’s friends left. Starybinch had left before the accusations began because of the anons. I was heartbroken, I was angry they would accuse me of something I would never think of doing. I tried working with my remaining friends to see what could be done. To see if someone would come forward. No one did. We never found out who sent those anons. 

I couldn’t believe anyone in our server would do this. At the time we were just pointing fingers, trying to figure out who on the server could do this. We kept pointing fingers at everyone, unable to see how anyone could be the anon. But all the pointing fingers came back to me. The anon conntinued to mention things that could only be known if they were in the server. The anon also mentioned a different server which surprised me, since we hadn’t talked about another server and I didn’t know of one. 

I know now that everyone of them had another server, one that everyone else had for months. Starybinch confessed this when he snapped at me, but I’ll mention that later.

I was so sure everything had been fine these past few months. But then again, what did I know. My anxiety was through the roof as everyone was pressuring me, trying to make me do something, someone needed to go but who? I eventually kicked 3 people. We were down to 5. Our group of 14 had shrunk so fast over something that could have been talked out. Starybinch returned and we sat there for a while, trying to figure out who. I was exhausted, I was tired, emotionally distressed over what to do about this. I was having to manage a group of friends over something so horrid, so awful. At the time I had the terrifying thought that someone was framing me, but I didn’t know who.

The anon continued to send asks, threatening to come to Starybinch’s house and kill his dog, Taffy. The sweetest dog ever. If this was the point that people would believe me, it wasn’t. They accused me still, wondering why and how I could do such a thing. How I could say homophobic and transphobic things to a friend, how I could tell someone to kill themselves. It wasn’t me, I told them over and over. I swore on my life, on my friendships, on the love I had for two specific people… people I thought loved me too.

Starybinch and I had a moment of clarity when I explained everything I have written here today. Obviously I didn’t want to mention some of the things, as I thought most of them had been resolved. Starybinch had come forward to say he was upset because of how much attention I had been getting over his bots. How much they had started to love me. He was angry that I was able to interact but not him. I told him how I had been upset over everything as well. I didn’t want anything between us. I told the truth, I spilled my heart to someone I trusted and loved with my whole heart. However, not 10 mins later he told me the real truth.

Starybinch told me everything, things began to unfold. He told me how everyone had hated me since February, how everything I had done was wrong. How they had screenshots and receipts long past. How he hated me, how they had another server. How they have proof the anons were me and how I was making everyone uncomfortable. They gave me screenshots of role plays I thought were just stories. They told me I was obsessive, controlling, how I had made everyone hate me so fast. And I will tell you now some truths.

Yes I posted nudes, I thought I did in a group of friends. No one said anything about it. I thought I was in a trusted group where I could do this, show something I was proud of. I made fun in rps because it’s a roleplay. They are characters. If you as the runner were uncomfortable you should have told me, you should have told me so much sooner about everything! Why didn’t you, why did you drag it out just to give this big reveal? No one came to my aid, no one believed me. I had no one, no one to believe me, no one to support me. They were sorry that my “rich and privileged upbringing had made me so blind to other people’s troubles” how I was selfish and awful and controlling. 

To another point, I have never erotically roleplayed with a minor. I will tell you that I was close, and I did flirt with two blogs on tumblr that I had no idea were minors. They were a Darkiplier and Googleplier rp blog of two friends. When I discovered that they were minors I stopped. I stopped and explained how I was uncomfortable with it. They were cool and we maybe talked on and off for about a month. I haven’t talked with them since. This was about a year ago. Every since I’ve been very careful with who I roleplay with. I ask and make sure I know the person well before even getting into nsfw territory. 

This entire thing drove me straight down into a dark place. I was very lucky that when I left the voice call that I was in, that my friend sent my brother to check up on me. I am very lucky for my real friends, my family and my partner for supporting me through this hard time.

I have shown you I have done awful things… things that I’m not proud of. I can show you I’m trying to change and I’m growing. I can assure you that after all of this I will take a long time to learn from my past before going back. But if there is one thing I wouldn’t do, it’s wish the death of another person. I would never threaten someone or their pets, no matter how much I like, or dislike them. I would never try to do these things. 

I am sorry that I’ve done these things, I will be sorry about it for the rest of my life. I never want to be like that person again, and I will use what I have learned to fix that. I will be taking a long hiatus from tumblr, and maybe posting on my other platforms. I will take this time to focus on growing. I will learn and change in this time of rest and recovery. I wish I didn’t and I wish that others didn’t have to make a post like that about me. I never wanted my past conversations used or shown to the public. I wish I could have seen where I was wrong. I’m sorry for all of this.

[bleucolor]

Last time I tried to post a giyushino fanfic and since i navigate myself through Tumblr like a boomer, I accidentally deleted my story. I felt like a whole ass clown but I'm feeling hopeful and I'm back with another prompt using the moon. This takes place in a modern AU where both Giyuu and Shinobu are teenagers. A random drabble for Giyushino which was inspired by being quarantined at home. Hope y'all enjoy and please do send some love 🥺👉👈

Moonlight and Sunrise

Giyuu and Shinobu were friends, however this fact was quite shocking to others due to their Light and Day personas. Tomioka Giyuu was a loner, he had like maybe 2 solid friends being Sabito and Makomo and the others were at max labeled as acquaintances. Shinobu wasn't the most popular one at their highschool but she was well known. She would always be seen alongside her two best friends, Sanemi the oversized delinquent who'd actually bite your head clear off and Uzui the player; who'd get girls left and right. With attention at both sides of the bay it'd be obvious that Shinobu would be well known around their school, being head of the pharmaceutical research club and still being an avid member of the fishing club and the flower arranging club gave Kochou quite the recognition around Kimestu Academy.

Giyuu happened to be in a different class than Sabito and Makomo to his demise thus forcing him to be the lonesome sheep he is. His classmates didn't bother much about him either and nor did he. To him, Kyojurou was too loud, Sanemi was too reckless and Iguro was too emo. He once even referred to Mitsuri as a horse girl to Sabito, but he later concluded that Kanroji was just a rare hybrid of a Taki girl or a hot cheeto girl and Himejima was that one person who believed in horoscopes too seriously, sometimes he'd do tarot readings for his other classmates which Giyuu honestly found quite cool. Whereas Shinobu was someone Giyuu would've honestly never associated in the first place and truthfully speaking their duo wouldn't even exist if Shinobu hadn't approached him first. Shinobu was more of a bully to Giyuu primarily but later Giyuu had opened up to her about how he thought of her as a close friend and that softened Shinobu's heart and strengthed their bond. Although Kyojurou was the smartest kid in the class; even securing his title as class president; Ubuyashiki sensei always made sure to pair up Shinobu and Giyuu together during class projects thus leading to frequent study sessions together. Towards the end of the year, Shinobu became the third person in the entirety of Kimetsu Academy to be close to Giyuu, the 1st and 2nd being Sabito and Makomo and 4th being a special freshman called Tanjiro.

Even though his classmates were rather annoying, Giyuu never did hate any of them. In fact it was hard for Giyuu to genuinely hate anybody in the first place but then there was this one person and that person was Shinobu's oh so charming boyfriend, Douma. Giyuu saw through his pretty boy personality when she first introduced him. He ranted about it to Sabito the very night, complaining about how he's all fake and it's all just a matter of time before that facade comes of. Sabito didn't miss a beat and told Giyuu to suggest a suitable partner for Shinobu instead, to which Giyuu had no answer to. And as per said prophecy it didn't take long for Shinobu to see Douma's true intentions and she decided a queen like her deserved better than this.

It was finally summer break and Giyuu and Shinobu had finally completed 12 painstaken years of schooling along with the others of course. Shinobu decided to host a little get together and hang out with the people she cared about one last time before they drifted apart into adulthood.

Giyuu reached the mall at about 8 pm and walked straight to the food court since Shinobu informed him that's where they would be. To his horror, Shinobu had invited a great deal of people, including those who didn't like him, example being his whole class. As always his presence was ignored by his classmates but thankfully amidst the groups of people, Giyuu noticed a particular red head named Sabito, aka his best friend. Sabito and Makomo were both invited too. Giyuu and Shinobu's friendship caused Shinobu to become good friends with Sabito as well, both of them developed a special bond while they both took turns into bullying poor Tomioka. Shinobu was sitting next to Kimetsu Academy's mascot boy, Inosuke, who looked way too soft for his harsh demeanor. Shinobu had a soft spot for this freshman. She had told Tomioka of how he filled the gap of her need of a younger brother. Unlike Tomioka, Shinobu had a lot of sisters; Kanae who was the eldest, Aoi was a year younger than Shinobu and then came Kanao who was 2 years younger than Shinobu, and lastly were the triplets, Naho, Sumi and Kiyo who were just middle schoolers. Inosuke was a bratty kid who'd frequently get into trouble for having a foul mouth but he was close to Tanjiro and weirdly Kochou's little sister, Kanao's best friend. The butterfly sisters loved having brutes as best friends for some reason, it didn't make sense but somehow worked out for them.

"Inosuke, promise you'll leave that nasty reputation behind."

"I ain't making any promises till you promise you'll send me 3 boxes of foreign chocolate every month." he crossed his arm and looked the other side.

Shinobu softly smiled at him, she was definitely going to miss this kid alot. "Alright Inosuke, I'll make sure to send you the latest ps4 games as well."

Inosuke's eyes lit up as he shook hands with Shinobu to confirm the deal. A subtle smile tugged at the corner of Giyuu's lips.

Giyuu went over to the table Sabito and Makomo were seated at and took a seat opposite to Sabito. It didn't take long for Shinobu to note his presence and she went over to their table and took a seat next to Giyuu. "Aww Tomioka-san, look this is a good farewell party for you, all your friends are here right Infront of you." she snorted.

Giyuu sent her a painful expression. Must she do this even on the day when he supposedly bids her farewell? "Tanjiro's not here though."

"So Kochou, did you get your acceptance letter?" Sabito tried desperately to break the awkward silence.

"oh yes I did, luckily I got into the university I wanted to. I'll be shifting to Canada a few months from now."

"That's so cool. Congrats!" Sabito sent her a beaming smile.

Giyuu was quiet, he was silently studying Shinobu, maybe this was the last time he was going to see her. She was wearing a Yellow ruffle top that was paired up with skinny ripped jeans and her 5 pound white filas, her hair was tied into a half ponytail; she looked cute. Alot of people would've assumed Giyuu's sense of fashion was probably as bland as his personality but surprisingly the guy had drip. He wore a plain black shirt paired up with dark denim jeans and chains to accessorise. Giyuu was an eboy. His sense of fashion honestly made him look quite intimidating but it added a spice to his laid back bland persona, maybe that's why Shinobu had taken an interest to him in the first place.

And almost too soon the party had came to an end as the clock struck 11 PM. Shinobu was probably tired of getting squeezed everytime she got hugged goodbye. One by one, everyone started to leave and before they knew it, a very ominous pair was left behind, and that pair being Giyuu and Shinobu.

"Sabito-kun is a very nice lad. You have great friends Tomioka-san." Shinobu complimented.

"He's nice because he walked Makomo home at 11pm?"

"Well yes, that's rather a very gentlemanly behavior. Don't you think so?"

"You know I've been doing that to you in every single one of our study dates right?" Giyuu raised an eyebrow, right now he seemed like a puppy wagging his tail to receive pats from its master.

Shinobu's cheeks flushed a pale shade of pink when Giyuu had referred to their study session as study dates mistakenly. It was just a slip of a tongue that's all. "My Tomioka-san, are you waiting for me to compliment you?"

"It's nice to hear you say something good about me once in a while Kochou." he pouted like a child.

"If that's what you want...then alright. Walk me home one last time Tomioka san."

"No." he blurted almost too bluntly causing Shinobu to frown almost too evidently. "I'll take you home on my bike instead, this time."

Shinobu was quite taken aback to his sudden kind gesture. Her stomach swelled up with a weird feeling. A mix of happiness with sadness that this was the first and last time she'd get to ride behind his bike.

Giyuu had disappeared for a split second into the parking lot leaving a timid Shinobu pondering. He did mention he really liked bikes. Weirdly as a highschooler, Shinobu always wanted to cruise behind a boy's motorcycle at least once during her high school years and well this was her chance. In 3 minutes Giyuu showed up in a Ducati xdiavel Infront of Shinobu. He patted on the seat next to him gesturing her to come take a seat behind him and so she did after admiring Giyuu and his totally hot ride. Not gonna lie his attire went really well with his bike, she almost felt like she was starring in some music video as they cruised into the dark streets.

Shinobu shrieked almost losing her grip as Giyuu hit a speed bump.

"Kochou." he called out to her, getting her attention.

"Hm?"

"Hold onto me, or you'll fall." his words left Shinobu all flustered and hot but she was quick to oblige, she didn't want any broken bones right before her flight. She also silently thanked the gods that it was too dark for Giyuu to make out her flushed red cheeks.

"Tomioka-san? When did you get this sweet thing?"

"It was a gift from my dad."

"But what if you have to move away for uni? What will happen to it then?"

"I'll take it with me, I haven't gotten a number plate for it yet so I'll just ship it using a ferry or something."

Shinobu wrapped her arms around his waist tightly. She wondered if she was the first girl to sit on his bike. She also wondered about the other girls who would eventually later sit on his bike.

"Kochou, are you in a hurry to go home?" Giyuu suddenly asked.

"Not really, mom and dad are staying at my grandparents' place in the country side and Nee-san just wants me to spend my last few days as free spirited teenager."

"Spend this night with me." he suddenly blurted.

"What?" she choked on her words. Giyuu had become way to daring these days, saying whatever he wanted and bruising poor Shinobu's heart with his choice of words.

"Come on, I wanna show you something." he reassured her in a soothing tone.

"Alright Tomioka-san, as long as you don't get us into trouble I'm good."

He soon parked into a quiet neighborhood. Jesus, this placed seemed abandoned for God's sake, what did he have to show her here? the grudge or babadook?

"Tomioka-san are you sure about this place." Shinobu sent him a nervous look as she tugged at the hem of his shirt.

Giyuu looked into her eyes as he held his hand out to her,"Trust me Kochou." and so she did. They now walked into this dark neighborhood, her tiny hand still enclasped with his large ones. Giyuu knew Shinobu wasn't a big fan of places like these. Places that screamed paranormal activity but the fact the she obliged quite quickly did make him realize how much she trusted him and deep down it made Tomioka Giyuu happy.

"isn't this place restricted or anything? Are we allowed to come here?" Shinobu asked almost too loudly.

Giyuu quickly covered her mouth with his large hands and pulled her into a dark alleyway. Shinobu was quite confused at his sudden antics. She sent him a raised eyebrow as he pinned her against a stone wall, his hand still covering her mouth and almost immediately a Patrol guard walked right past them on the streets. He quickly let go of her and pressed his index finger against his lips gesturing her to stay quiet. "it's alright as long as you don't get caught." he whispered to which she rolled her eyes. He held her hand once again and walked to the biggest house in the area, the house was 4 stories high and Giyuu seemed to have a weird tactic of slipping by the backdoor without getting noticed every time.

"So Tomioka-san, you wanted to show me an abandoned house. Very funny."

"They're not abandoned, they're on sale." He replied walking towards the kitchen.

Shinobu followed him precautiously, "And you're treating it like you own it."

"Only for a while." he replied as he took out 2 bottles of flavored milk. He handed Shinobu the strawberry flavored one knowing that was her favorite and kept the melon flavored one for himself.

"Tomioka-san what's the meaning of this?" she asked one last time, quite getting tired of his shit, really.

Giyuu didn't reply but held her hand as walked upstairs, practically forcing her to follow behind him. They soon reached the attic.

Shinobu was a little taken aback seeing all the clutter of furnite up there. Giyuu pulled up the glass window revealing a beautiful full moon night, how come Shinobu didn't notice that before? And then Tomioka started doing something stupid, which was climbing out of the attic window. Shinobu quickly grabbed his arm as a result of an involuntary reflex, "Are you stupid, do you want to die?"

Giyu was now standing on the roof of a 4 story house with a nerve wrecked Shinobu holding his arm. "Trust me Kochou." he spoke holding out his hand to her.

She shifted her gaze from his moonlit eyes to his hand. Did she trust him with her life? Yes, yes she did. She placed her hand on his and he carefully helped her outside. "Tomioka-san I don't see any point in all of thi-" Shinobu was cut off with the picturesque view of the moon and its bright stars right Infront of her.

Giyuu took a seat next to her, observing the view alongside her. He slowly sipped his melon drink while Shinobu quietly enjoyed her strawberry drink. His gaze shifted from the scenic beauty Infront of him to the other scenic beauty next to him (im a little gay for Shinobu sorry) and there she was Kochou Shinobu, the stars reflected in her eyes as she absent-mindedly stared into the sky being lost in her own void and Giyuu just watched her, she looked even cuter now.

It didn't take long for Shinobu to catch him staring which almost made him choke his drink.

"Are you okay?" she asked him.

"Yeah." he replied after his coughing fits died down. He decided to lay down and enjoy the beauty the night had to offer and Shinobu copied him, laying down next to him. Giyuu had quickly slid his arm towards Shinobu, allowing her to rest her huge head on his arm.

"Tomioka-san." she called out to him making his gaze lock with hers.

"Hm?"

"Thank you. I needed this."

He sent her a soft smile as he tucked behind a strand of her hair behind her ear, "You're welcome."

"You know Tomioka-san, since you've been craving compliments I guess I'll finally give you one." Giyuu softly observed her, wondering what she'd say. "If i were to describe you to a person Tomioka-san. This scenery would suffice."

"Hm?" he raised an eyebrow, "How so?"

"It kinda matches with your personality you know, It's as quiet and mysterious as the night but nevertheless if you observe closely it has all this beauty to offer." she smiled at him, and this time it hurt him. It made him feel weird. It didn't take long for Giyuu's cheeks to be flushed red under the silver moonlight. Giyuu couldn't reply to this, heck he couldn't even force any words through his mouth. Shinobu smiled and gazed back at the stars once again. She was hit a wave of familiarity, this was her and Giyuu's relationship, it was a bit complicated but it was a bit too beautiful to lose. She started to feel her stomach coil in sadness realising this was the last possible memory she'd spend with Giyuu or maybe they could meet up during the holiday seasons and have remakes of adventurous nights like these.

"Tomioka-san, did you get your acceptance letter?"

"Yeah I did."

"Where are you going?" she wasn't facing him, she didn't want him to see her sad expression.

"Same place you are." Giyuu tried his best not to smile while he said that.

Shinobu quickly turned to him in surprise, "That's a horrible joke, Tomioka-san."

"I'm not." he said, pulling out his phone from his pocket and scrolling through his email to show her his proof. And to Shinobu's surprise there it was, and it was legit. Shinobu was quiet, this was what she wanted but in was a bit too much for her to take in all at once.

"Thank God, now I don't have to worry about you not having friends and getting left alone." she snapped back almost too quickly,

"Shut up."

The air was light and heavy at the same time, Shinobu was a bit too happy to be falling asleep but it didn't take her long to doze off in Giyuu's arms, or on Giyuu's arms. Ouch.

He mentally cursed himself for suddenly exhibiting simp behavior, but today was Shinobu's day and he just had to oblige even though he had to sacrifice his arm.

It didn't take long for Giyuu to doze off alongside Shinobu. Falling asleep under a star-filled sky did have a romantic touch to it.

Giyuu was the first to wake up as the sun slowly started to rise amongst the clouds, creating a magnificent hue of purple and orange. Thankfully Shinobu had shifted from laying on his arm to laying on his chest instead which was definitely more comfortable, but surely Shinobu wouldn't be able to sleep long against his chest with his heart pounding like that.

Giyuu took a moment to appreciate a sleepy Shinobu alongside the beautiful sunrise. Her sun-kissed face was just art in its own form. If Giyuu was anywhere as skilled as Sabito in art, he'd use this masterpiece lying beside him as a prompt and then that's when it hit him. Shinobu basked in the golden rays of sunlight, Shinobu was the golden sunrise in early mornings and if Giyuu were to describe her to someone he'd say something along the lines of; "Shinobu you're the morning sunrise. You're annoying but your presence brings warmth." he whispered softly patting her head. And as most cliché scenes this was no different, much to Giyuu's ill fate, Shinobu was seemingly awake the whole time, and she heard every bit of that.

"That's quite harsh Tomioka-san, but I'll take it." she replied causing a frantic Giyuu's heart rate to sky rocket.

With the sun out, Giyuu and Shinobu realised they better be getting home now since they both had guardians to explain their whereabouts to. It didn't take long for them to pack up and reach Shinobu's house. They shared a small hug on Shinobu's front porch along with Shinobu thanking him for giving her an unforgettable journey. This was a nice end to her highschool life. With a wide grin plastered over her face Shinobu walked into her house to 5 very amused and interested sisters.