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banavalope · 2 years ago

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Calling it an ARG isn’t just ‘technically’ incorrect its 100% incorrect. It wasn’t even a fandom thing the creator made it as an art project and it blew up overwhelmingly and now they don’t even want to do it anymore

Look bud, you’ve kind of got me between a rock and a hard place here. The artist has asked people not use his words as artillery against each other, and quoting him directly is the only way I can accurately respond to you, so we've come to an impasse.

Anyway I wanna talk about ARG semantics instead, which is an interesting conversation we can both have together.

It involves analyzing analog horror as a whole to understand how we've arrived at having both a modern, and a traditional, definition of ARG.

To make a long story short, just in the event you're not here in good faith or perhaps don't like reading long essays - also to like. Do everyone a favor rq - the word people are looking for to properly define Welcome Home is ergodic analog horror. This is the umbrella term you're all looking for. Ergodic. We're moving on now.

Might I also recommend two video essays I love if you find this topic interesting: Ergodic Literature: The Weirdest Book Genre by CloudCuckooCountry and History of Analog Horror by Alex Hera

So lets ask: What makes something (not Welcome Home, we're not talking about that anymore, I do literally mean Something in General) "technically" an ARG?

Our modern day definition of an ARG has quite honestly become interchangeable with the term ergodic literature, most likely due to "ergodic literature" being an obscure term; however, the evolution of the analog horror genre subverting what it means to be "a game" is a much more likely cause that I think is important to appreciate.

By traditional definition - perhaps having been lost to time, this was the early 00s after all - an ARG is only a proper ARG when there is a game master orchestrating a game, and the story does not, will not, and can not progress without player participation. There are quite a few famous ARGs our there that went on for years before being finished because the participants got stuck. It's entirely on you to finish the narrative. Think of them like global LARP sessions, a lot of visiting physical locations to get your next clue is involved.

There are lots of traditional ARGs, some famous ones include projects like I Love Bees, Blair Witch Project, and the very infamous "Hey Peabrain, you teleport?" that happened right here on tumblr dot com. These games are my experience with defining what is or isn't an ARG.

Of course, time moves on with or without us, and I've come to accept that ARG is a broader term than it was before.

It's important to note that ARGs are the direct birth parent of modern analog horror. In fact, while analog horror has always existed as a sort of artistic backdrop, it wasn't a named genre until Local58 offhandedly defined itself with the term "analog horror". Many well known analog horror projects such as Mandela Catelogue, Gemini Home Entertainment, or Mystery Flesh Pit National Park, take much of their inspiration from the groundwork Local58 laid, and took to calling themselves analog horror as well, as one might expect.

Now, these influential supergiants are in, what you might call, "read only" format. Audience participation is not needed for the story to progress, which is a necessary component of an ARG.

Until it isn't!

Looking at art projects like This House Has People In It, Liminal Land, Doki Doki Liturature Club, or House of Leaves - just to name a few - they are all alternate reality "games" (one of them is literally a game). AR"G"'s, if you will.

The narrative presents itself as being contained, but very much is asking you to engage with it, if you so choose. They lay out clues to be found that take you to the next Easter Egg, and a deeper story can be ascertained, but only if you want. This is, technically, an ARG.

You can also just choose to play Doki Doki without digging into the sound files and extracting the meta data to get the secret art, or just watch This House Has People In It without finding the related secret website explaining Links Disease, either option is a "correct" way to read the media. You only stand to gain a different perspective by looking into more.

Which again, that's ergodic literature.

But these projects are famously considered ARGs.

These projects were huge, some of them mainstream, and were a lot of people's first time introduction to analog horror and ergodic literature. Some of these self define as an ARG when that's technically incorrect.

Altruistically, what these projects are accomplishing, is creating accessibility to the game space of the ARG genre. Cherrypicking all the self contained, gamelike elements, without committing to orchestrating a game. Traditional ARGs are typically extremely time sensitive, and one might "miss out" for arriving late to an event, or having limited access to necessary tools. Perhaps some people feel unsafe at the prospect of going to an unknown physical location, on the hope it's part of the game. Traditional ARGs were once incredibly niche for that reason. Modern AR"G"s keep this to a minimum, if not outright omit it in favor of telling a good story.

I'm not sure if there's a recent example out there of a traditional ARG, other than Hey Peabrain? Certainly there are some, to be honest with you I've moved on from traditional ARGs in favor of modern ones and other analog horror media subgenres, but my point being that they're becoming less common as they're increasingly replaced by Hunt-A-Killer style story ""games"". Shortly, we'll see some of the same evolutions begin to happen as digital horror outpaces analog horror as the shiny new popular horror genre. With digital horror's inclusion of formats like tiktok, I would expect to see us circle around again to traditional games being explored within the alternate reality space, as it lends itself well to that kind of thing.

In general, people are going to be familiar with this form of ARG, where "game" means "a story asking you to engage with it", and will default to using ARG in that way. In the broader experience of others, ergodic literature is an ARG, even though ARGs are not ergodic literature, technically. Most ARGs calling themself an ARG are not ARGs, mntechnically.

With any luck, this essay was compelling. It's just a thinker, really, I'd be interested to hear what you - or anyone - might think.

I'll reiterate, here, in closing, that by no means is this analysis meant to be seen as being in defence of, or opposition against, how anyone chooses to use the term ARG. I'm making no statements about Welcome Home or the people who took to it as if it were a traditional ARG. Neither am I expressing my opinion on the way fans engage with art projects, or even actual ARGs. That's a whole other conversation we aren't having here.

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weepingpussywillowtree · 7 months ago

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Adult life is hard. Especially as an autistic person. Apartment hunting and moving prep is so overwhelming. I hate change, and after living in this apartment for four years, even if it's shitty, it's familiar. The nearby locations, restaurants, roads, and routines are familiar too. Feeling like you have to sell yourself to potential landlords sucks also...

I no longer have the energy to engage in things I enjoy anymore. I barely knit, write, play video games, or do yoga anymore. I'm excelling at my new job, and juggling stuff for the move and everything but one little extra thing or the idea of it throws me completely over the edge... And I'm in an extremely privileged position. I make good money, work from home, and my lease isn't actually up till mid-august so I have time to look for places... I'm just overwhelmingly stressed all the time at the idea of this big change and the slightly more expensive rent (even if I can easily afford it). I'm terrified that my life circumstances will lead me in the future towards having to work in an office and I don't know if I could handle that at all. I think it would make my already grim situation with regards to leisure time even worse. In college Im realizing I relied on my slower days/periods of the semester. Even though I was in school full time and working part time, I would have like, a Wednesday where I just attended an 11am class and nothing else.

People in my life also keep encouraging me to start doing more things on my own now. Like, go and be social or travel alone and it makes me so ashamed that I don't actually want to do that, (not the least because I'm kind of stockpiling money anticipating that at some point in my adult life I will go into full autistic burnout) and even if I did I wouldn't be successful at it. I've been stress eating lately too or only eating unhealthy safe foods like boxed Mac and cheese and have gained some weight, which I don't really have a problem with except I've grown too big for some of my safe clothes, and I can't replace them with the same ones but a size up because they don't make the same ones anymore. This is all very whiny I realize but people IRL see me as this super successful, bouncy but a little high strung, high-powered career woman but the reality is that I am only successful because of my incredibly lucky circumstances and the fact that I happen to be decent at writing code and wrangling shitty old code.

Functionally, I am a shut in who struggles with independence and dislikes change intensely. I've been trying to push myself more .. I've been going out by myself more and it's honestly fine... It's just so overwhelming from a sensory perspective and I don't really have a desire to do it more often.

As my parents get older I worry about what will happen to me when they die, because even if we don't have an amazing relationship, they still support me during life emergencies if I need them, but after they die I think I will have no one. And I'm so afraid. I make a lot of money but feel like all my jobs have taken so much from me. I would prefer if I was allowed to do repetitive, non-interactive, detail-intensive work all day. Or if I could somehow engage in a special interest all day, like be one of those people at reproduction colonial villages who dresses up in period clothing and knits all day while info dumping to visitors. Or if I could write all day, my few friends and even strangers keep telling me that I'm a good storyteller and should write a book. Or even do something that involves people but is very repetitive. I do extremely well with repetitive, scripted interactions as long as I can reuse the same set of scripts.

Idk. These are all pretty disjointed thoughts. I'm just stressed, trying to figure out how I can enjoy life while honoring my disability. Or if it's even possible. I read a book about autistic adult women before graduating college and I remember a lot of the interviewees for the book talking about how they worked short term contract jobs and took regular sabbaticals to recover even if it financially hurt their situation and I'm starting to think that might be something I'll have to consider in the future.

#shouting into the void #actually autistic

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gunterfan1992 · 3 years ago

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Interview with AT Graphic Novelist Danielle Corsetto

I'm currently working on a book chapter about the Adventure Time comics (stay tuned!) and for this project, I've been reaching out to many of the artists who worked on the BOOM! graphic novels. One of the first people to kindly respond to my request for an email interview was Danielle Corsetto, the creator of web comics like Elephant Town, Girls With Slingshots, and Stuck at 32.

Corsetto also wrote three of the Adventure Time graphic novels: Playing with Fire (2013), Pixel Princesses (2013), and Graybles Schmaybles (2015)! Read on for more about her experience working on these books...

Paul: What is the story of how you came on as a writer for the AT graphic novel series?

I'd been creating my webcomic Girls With Slingshots for almost a decade when I was invited to write an [Adventure Time] graphic novel by editor Shannon Watters. Shannon just happened to be a fan of GWS and a lot of other webcomics from the same time period, and when she was tasked with finding creators to work on the [Adventure Time] books, she reached out to webcomic creators like myself, Ryan North, and Meredith Gran. We just sort of lucked into the property being managed by a long-time webcomic fan.

Paul: Did you have any contact with the other artists who worked on AT graphic novels?

I didn't! I don't think I even knew who was going to be drawing it until the script was done, which was a little nerve-wracking. I'd never written a script for someone else to follow before; I had my own comfortable method of scratching out a script and thumbnail hybrid for myself to follow. So I just sent off the script and hoped that it was clear enough that he could follow it! Luckily they find great artists for these books.

Paul: What was the job like? What did an average week of work look like? How much time did it require from you?

All of the books were written while I was doing GWS five days a week, and two of them occurred while I was also teaching a college course in illustration (which gets easier over time as you massage your lesson plan, but the first couple of times I taught were overwhelmingly stressful for me, as I'd never taught college age students before!). So I was just working every day from morning to night. Luckily my GWS schedule had become pretty predictable―I knew how long it took for me to do every step in the process―so it was just a matter of switching from planning lessons & grading to writing complete graphic novels, which was a first for me (I'd never really written an ending to anything before!). I would head over to the library in nearby Boonsboro to write the [Adventure Time] scripts, which helped me get into a "we're working on this very different thing now" mindset.

Paul: How much contact did you have with artists like Zachary Sterling? Did you discuss layout or design ideas, or were you all in your own corners of the process, so to speak?

Nope! I think I was sent the pages once they were nearly done, because I remember making a few revisions (I think I completely redrew a couple of panels, but I don't remember if they were the books Zach worked on or Bridget [Underwood]'s). To be honest, I was so overloaded with work during all three books, I can't remember if there was more contact than that. I believe there were a few thumbnails I drew because it was easier than writing them out, but I think that's pretty typical.

Paul: How did the job change from the time you first started to when you were wrapping up your last book for the series?

It was pretty much the same each time; the deadline was always very quick maybe three weeks? That may have been partially my own fault, though―I probably set aside specific time to work on the books. Yeah, I don't think anything really changed―it seemed like there were always three weeks to write the scripts, no contact with the artist, and a pretty "go nuts" attitude from the editors!

Paul: Was there anything special or noteworthy about the experience that you think Adventure Time fans would like to know about?

For Pixel Princesses, my original pitch was that Jake and Lady Rainicorn's puppies got stuck in a video game. The pitch hadn't been approved by Cartoon Network yet but my editor encouraged me to go ahead and start writing. I held off and waited to start, just to be sure. Eventually we got word that Pen had different plans for the pups, so they asked if I could switch it from pups to princesses. Luckily it was an easy, fun switch (especially since I hadn't written anything yet)!

A huge “thank you!” to Danielle for taking the time to answer my questions; I really do appreciate it! You can find a link to many of her projects on her carrd. Also, check out her Twitter, Patreon, and Instagram!

#adventure time #atimers #Danielle Corsetto #comics #graphic novels #playing with fire #pixel princesses #graybles schmaybles #boom!#boom #kaboom #kaboom!#Zachary Sterling #bridget underwood

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angeldormante · 4 years ago

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Hi!! Im the Leo-withdrawal anon! I didnt ask anything prior to the one you just answered, but I'm so happy you responded! I'd honestly listen to anything you write--I think you have a wonderful way of expressing yourself, and the way you write is just... *chef's kiss* I guess, a question I'd have for you is this: What sort of hobbies do you headcanon our fearless leader to have? Quirks? Both endearing and... less so? I think that'd be a fun start!

hokay.... finally getting around to this!! sorry for the wait and thank you for bearing with me, anon! (ty for the compliment, too -- i'm very flattered jfjflk i just like talking about turtles ok (•̥ ̫ •̥) )

now... lemme talk blue to ya.

if we're talking about hobbies, well. stop me if you think you've heard this before -- leo loves training. for all of the guys, ninjutsu is a way of life; it's how they survive the world, how they connect with themselves and one another; it's their entire culture that the foundations of their family is built upon. and that's super neat. but watch 2k3 for like, one episode, and you'll very quickly see that the only one that fully leans into it is leo. mikey and don have their own interests that they often can't get to quickly enough once the day's training session ends. i think raph actually enjoys training recreationally as well -- but he's more interested in the physical aspect, spending his energy, bulking up, not necessarily focusing on skill or technique. i like to imagine that growing up, leo and raph spent a lot of time in the dojo together doing their own thing, kind of "separate but together"; before casey came along and raph got into hanging out topside with him.

leo, though, he throws himself fully into training. he's incredibly dedicated to it not only because of his sense of responsibility, but because he genuinely enjoys it -- he enjoys improving his technique, his skill. he enjoys the repetition of learning, which helps to calm and center him. he enjoys meditation, which helps him focus and clear his mind. as an introvert, and precisely because his family doesn't hang around the dojo as often as he does, leo's solo training time is his time -- it's his chance to relax and decompress. i think it's exactly why he spiraled harder and harder in season 4 no matter how much training he did: at that point, it was no longer a hobby, but an obsession. leonardo normally uses training as a healthy outlet, but when he channeled his exodus trauma into it, he removed his main method of decompression and replaced it with the intent to fuel that exact trauma. (sidebar, though i've talked about it before: i also feel like this is why fast forward is so excellent at showing leo's character growth. he is extremely zen and such a huge advocate of healthy self-reflection in the way he coaches cody and his clone. my sweet boy, so proud of him in that season.)

now i know what you may be thinking. and you're right. there's more to leo than his life in the dojo... so let's talk about some other hobbies i like to think he has!

so here's the thing, and i think it's something else i've touched on before... but i think leo actually has a very strong bond with donnie. their temperaments are very similar, they feel similar burdens when it comes to protecting the family, etc... and to be honest, i think they bond a lot over the same nerdy hobbies too! i think leo is a huge freaking nerd.

i legit think that donatello has probably absorbed his brother into more than one of his hobbies, both unwillingly and not. some things click for leo, and some things don't. some things he has a hard time getting into until he discovers a certain aspect of it or views it from a different perspective. but he is very often willing to try anything.

for example, i imagine that growing up, leo and don played a lot of chess together. don used to overwhelmingly win, until they got older and older leo got deeper and deeper into the tactical aspect, and soon he was beating don quite soundly more often than he wasn't. don started getting into engineering manuals and physics books, while leo started getting into history texts and military treatises, but both shared a love for novels and would swap their favorites regularly. and they still play chess, of course.

don got into nerdy sci-fi shows. like, really into them. and leo couldn't quite pick up the thread on that one, but he was content to endure every fourth movie night when it was don's turn to pick. and slowly he began getting drawn into it, the same way anyone does -- he enjoyed the campiness of the plot, how absolutely ludicrous the fight choreography was, how sometimes there were actually deep and thoughtful moments. it was both a welcome respite from the intensity of his reality and something he could put to practical use if he had to, like, steal a spaceship one day, though the odds of that happening seemed pretty low⁽ˡᵒˡ⁾. he was never able to quote any of the episodes verbatim like donnie, but it was something they could discuss and lightly bicker about during the times when leo is mindlessly helping out around don's lab. (more on that in a sec.)

also? i can absolutely. totally. easily see leo as a tabletop game enthusiast. i think i'll refrain from getting lost in the weeds on that once, since this is already starting to run long, but i just want to put that in your mind. tmnt dnd gaming nights. let that sit for a second.

okay moving on.

i genuinely think that leo just likes existing in the general vicinity of his family and extended family. not necessarily doing anything; just being there, doing something with his hands. if don is working on a project, leo may drift in, and don will ask him to hand him certain tools or read aloud certain notes on the screen, because he knows the deal. if raph is lifting weights and leo wanders over from his own training session, raph may ask him to spot, or set up the next pair of weights, because he knows how it is. if mikey is sitting in the living room playing video games and leo appears on the couch next to him, he might toss him a controller, or he may just start blabbering about what game he's playing and what level he's on, because he's got it. if april and casey are tidying up her shop for a new shipment of merchandise and leo just randomly appears in the window, feathered duster in hand, april smiles and puts on water for tea and casey teases him and throws him a broom instead without blinking. because that's just how leo is.

the thing is, leo is one of those people who have such a strong presence that -- as long as he's not trying to hide it, of course -- you know he's there because he carries such an atmosphere with him. on the other hand, leonardo is the type of person who is genuinely content to just be in the background. which may sound totally at odds with the whole leader schtick, but i think it's just kind of this duality he has: he can be both at the forefront and in the background, depending on the situation and what is needed from him. does this mean he doesn't have his own hobbies or interests? of course not! but even canonically, throughout the series leo is shown to be just as happy with his hands off the reins so long as there's not a mission in front of him. and i think it's precisely this lack of that constant need for control that shows just how whole and rich leo's inner life is, how he feels full and complete without his leadership/big brother role completely defining him, and how season 4 rips that carpet from under his feet to show the unhealthy side of that particular coin.

so as much as a cop-out answer it may sound like -- i think that leo just enjoys doing things with his brothers. he likes rooftop runs with them. he likes pizza and cards with them. he likes movies, sports, and games with them. but he's also his own person, and he enjoys being in his head, and he has hobbies that help him make his head a healthy place to be; his family absolutely respects that quality, and leonardo is a much more well adjusted person for it.

er.... i didn't really get into quirks or bad habits, but this has run really long already and it's getting late, lmao. so i think i will stop here for now. =w= thank you for letting me ramble again about my blue boy, anon; i know i'm slow, but hopefully i rambled enough to make up for it!

#tmnt #tmnt 2003 #leonardo #meta #long post #if u aren't sick of me.... ofc i'd be happy to talk about the rest sometime flkjfds

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samwisethewitch · 5 years ago

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a real witch reviews the arcana (aka that phone game based on tarot cards that keeps showing up on your explore page)

I’ve been seeing The Arcana all over Tumblr and Instagram for several months now, and since I am a Genuine Real Life Witch™️ and have been reading tarot for several years now, I thought it would be fun to play the game and review it both from a gamer perspective and a witch/tarot reader perspective.

Spoiler: I really, really like it.

Please note that I have done virtually no research into the developer or development history of this game. This review is based purely on my experience from my playthroughs.

So what is The Arcana?

The Arcana is a fantasy/romance visual novel created by Nix Hydra Games. A visual novel is an interactive, text-based story with static visuals, so it’s almost more like an interactive graphic novel than a video game. Honestly, visual novels remind me of those “Choose Your Own Adventure” books that were really popular in the 1980s and 1990s more than anything else.

(Note: I recently learned that a visual novel is NOT the same thing as a dating sim, although the two genres are similar and do sometimes overlap. Dating sims... simulate dating. That’s really all there is to them. Visual novels typically have a more plot-focused story, and may have other stuff going on besides the romance.)

The story of The Arcana follows the player character, a magician’s apprentice living in the fictional city-state of Vesuvia, who is enlisted to track down a suspected murderer. Where the story goes from there depends on which route you choose to play. There are currently six routes, each with a different love interest. Each route has its own unique story, although obviously there are some overlapping elements.

Sam the Gamer’s Review

Like I mentioned, The Arcana is essentially an interactive novel, so I’m reviewing it the way I’d review a book. So, let’s just run down some of the typical book review questions, shall we?

Is the content good? Yes. It has gotta be difficult to juggle six parallel storylines and make all of them equally compelling, but this game pulls it off. There were parts that genuinely had me in suspense, other parts that had me giggling at my phone, and some parts that were (intentionally) frustrating. I’m really impressed with how each route is totally different from the others -- not just in content, but even in tone. For example, Portia’s route comes across as much more lighthearted and fluffy, whereas Julian and Muriel both have a lot of angst in their respective stories. It’s really well done.

Are the characters well-rounded and realistic? Again, yes. Okay, “realistic” may be a bit of a stretch in some cases Vlastomil but all six of the main romanceable characters have fleshed out personalities that feel natural within the story world. The side characters in this game are also really interesting, although I do wish some of them had bigger roles in the story.

What about the technical stuff (dialogue, grammar, etc.)? For the most part, it’s pretty good. The dialogue flows naturally, and different characters have different speaking styles, which is a little thing that makes SUCH a big difference. I noticed a couple of typos, but nothing too crazy.

The gameplay was pretty good. The only real mechanic is choosing one of two or three dialogue options at certain points in the game. There are a couple of places in each route where these choices are timed, but other than that it’s a very stress-free gaming experience.

Another thing that impresses me from both a writing and a gameplay angle is the multiple ending mechanic. Your choices matter in this game. Each of the routes has an “upright” ending and a “reversed” ending. I’m not exactly sure which choices affect the ending you get, but I’ve only managed to get “upright” endings so far, and I didn’t have to do anything special to unlock them.

Sam the Witch/Tarot Reader’s Review

Honestly, I did not expect this game to be as accurate with its depiction of magick and the Tarot as it was.

Each character is based on one of the Major Arcana, and I feel like they did a really good job of matching their personalities to their cards. Nadia is based on the High Priestess so she’s very intuitive and intelligent but tends to be distant and hard to read, Julian is based on the Hanged Man so he feels the need to sacrifice himself for others (with lots of gallows humor along the way), Lucio is based on the Devil so he’s a fucking bitch all about power and excess, etc.

I reeeeaaalllyy like the use of “upright” and “reversed” endings instead of the typical good vs. bad endings -- based on upright vs. reversed meanings of Tarot cards, of course. I also really love that the reversed endings aren’t 100% negative, just like how reversed cards in readings aren’t necessarily negative.

I don’t wanna spoil anything, but I also really like how the upright endings deal with the upright traits of that character’s Major Arcana card, while the reversed endings deal with the reversed traits of that card.

This game also includes some pretty realistic depictions of witchcraft and magick. Obviously because it’s a fantasy world there is fantasy magic involved, but astral travel is a major theme in pretty much every route, and the way it’s depicted in the game is very similar to my real life experiences with it.

There’s one character who is a kitchen witch and makes homemade enchanted food with magickal herbs, which made me feel warm and fuzzy because it reminded me of all the times I’ve used kitchen magick to make charmed food for myself and my loved ones.

Tarot readings are obviously a big deal within the story world, but there’s also a character who uses runestones! Which I think is neat!!

They mention some real-life magickal plants. Myrrh being used for protection comes up a lot, which, in case anyone was curious, is actually one of the common uses for myrrh in spellcraft.

They clearly did their research and honestly I’m thrilled.

Other Cool Stuff About This Game

It’s probably the most queer-inclusive video game I’ve ever played. Right off the bat, you’re given the choice to choose between he/him, she/her, or they/them pronouns for your character. The pronouns you pick do not affect the story in any way.

All six love interests are romanceable no matter what gender you play as. Which means this is canonically a universe in which everyone is queer. Hell yeah.

Two of the six current romanceable characters are women, and one is nonbinary. The routes for these characters are just as well written and romantic, with just as many wink-wink-nudge-nudge innuendos, as the men’s. There are also multiple nonbinary side characters.

Also! Racial and ethnic diversity in the main cast! And the main characters all have different body types, which is another nice touch.

This is nerdy as hell but I love how the different cultures and ethnic groups in the game are based on real-life cultures? It’s just one of those little things that makes my heart happy.

The art style is pretty as fuck.

In conclusion: I feel like this review is overwhelmingly positive but I just genuinely can’t think of any major criticisms of this game. It’s fun, it’s free, there was clearly a lot of thought put into it. I was really pleasantly surprised. Everybody go download it and play it. You’ll have a good time, and afterwards you’ll understand all the memes.

P.S. I know people are gonna ask so: I chose Julian for my first playthrough because he’s tall and goth and has messy hair and that’s honestly all I look for in a man. Now that I’ve played all six routes, Portia’s is probably my favorite because it’s so cute and wholesome and I just really want a soft bookworm girlfriend, please. Lucio’s route is a close second because after seeing him as an antagonist in everyone else’s routes it’s actually really interesting to see his story told from a sympathetic angle! But like I said, I’ve played all six routes.

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goldkirk · 5 years ago

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if you dont mind me asking, and you don't have to answer if its too personal, but how do you deal with flashbacks? is there a reconmended way or does it vary for everyone?

Hey pal, I am a MASSIVE oversharer and I’m happy to talk about things like this. If it can help someone else have a little less of a learning curve, get some more ideas, whatever, I want to answer lol.

Soooooooo, technically yes, there are pretty tried-and-true recommended things to do if you have flashbacks. Kati Morton over on YouTube has a nice summary video you can watch here, if that floats your boat, and here’s a PDF to read if it’s more your style. But I’ll cover the short-answer basics, and then explain how like...they don’t cover the intricacies, and how it is for me personally--especially because I’m still in the middle of my walk with this and don’t always know what I’m dealing with or what to do anyway.

pretty much step one of every piece of advice about this is “try to avoid triggers”, which is great, and like, yeah, duh. Except triggers are wild and you don’t know what they are until they happen, and like, for me personally, a lot of times triggers aren’t straightforward. I’ll listen to a song seventy times but then ONE time I’ll be in a certain mood I couldn’t make happen on purpose if I tried, and I’ll think about JUST the right thing that’s to the left of something, and that song will play a certain lyric that nudges my brain into a sudden memory of that thing that it’s currently JUST to the left of, and boom. Whoops. And that situation NEVER repeats again, so I can’t avoid it, it was just a combo of stuff. So if you know what your triggers are, try to avoid them unless you’re explicitly trying to process something--hopefully with help and guidance from a mental health professional who can help you not get lost in or too affected by a reaction or flashback if one happens.

That being said, obviously if you have flashbacks, they’re gonna happen. I’m told not forever? and not as overwhelmingly always? and there are different kinds of flashbacks, anyway, I’ll get into that later. But for now at least, I’m assuming you’re either curious, trying to write about them, or dealing with them yourself. So yeah. Flashbacks are gonna happen for people who have them, and that’s just something that has to be dealt with. They don’t give warning and they don’t helpfully pencil themselves in on a schedule, alas. Wouldn’t that be nice. Anyway.

So here are the basics.

If you’re able to realize that you are having a flashback while it’s actually happening, you want to immediately try to ground yourself in the present location and time. You want to orient yourself. You can do this a lot of ways, people have different things that they prefer--if you read the Hunger Games books, you might remember Katniss hiding in places around District 13, repeating to herself her name, where she’s from, what happened, where she is now, who is safe, who is alive, etc. A lot of fanfics tend to have characters walk through the classic five-four-three-two-one thing with senses--list five things you see RIGHT NOW in front of you, four you can hear, etc. etc. A lot of people do breathing exercises while trying to check in with how they’re feeling physically--these are my toes, these are my ankles, i feel my calf muscles, i’m bending my knee, etc. When I was in high school I used to do box breathing when I panicked and was hyperventilating, where I’d trace a box on my thigh and breathe in on one side, hold on the next, out on another, hold again, etc. Some people use fidget toys or things like that, if they find that helps.

If you can realize what’s going on while it’s happening, then you can either a) cut it short, hopefully, and come out of it a lot more present-oriented, or b) remain semi-afloat for the duration, and understand that you’re not in your normal headspace, and thus not be as confused and freaked out about why you’re feeling or reacting the way you are.

But it can be really hard for you to realize you’re having a flashback sometimes, or it can hit so hard and fast that it just slams you and then it’s over and you go, what happened, oh, that was a flashback, wow I feel like SHIT.

So let’s assume you weren’t able to go “hey this is a flashback” and deal with it earlier on. You’ve just had a flashback. You’ve just come out of it. You’re rattled, you’re sluggish, you’re super amped up AND exhausted, and you’re trying to figure out what to do or think or feel and what just happened.

This is where most of the website and video advice lists stop lol. They’re like great you’re back in the present, tally ho, good luck. But no!!! Wait stop!!!!! I’m not okay yet!!!!!!

So this is where knowing your own brain and body AND how different types of flashbacks affect you is important. For me, I have only once or twice in my life had the classic, like, play-by-play fast-slideshow style of flashback. Those aren’t what I usually get (at least not yet...fingers crossed lol). Mine are usually only emotional, where I know where I am but I feel like it’s a totally different year, or dissociative, where I park in a certain parking garage and walk to the the totally wrong part of the hospital to a certain room because I was on autopilot and in a different time and also just generally checked out, or very occasionally auditory AND emotional, like the other night. That was shitty. 0/10 do not recommend. Ugh.

When I get hit by anything more than a pretty minor slip or flashback, it screws with my cognitive ability a lot, and I just...can’t think things through? Even if I can keep reminding myself that it’s NOT the time I feel like it is, that that’s over, blah blah blah, I usually end up so scattered I can’t figure out what I SHOULD be doing or how I can make any of this better. And I don’t have a lot of experience doing that at ALL yet. Thank god for mom anon the other day bc that was the first time I was having a real crash in a long time and I did NOT know what to do and she gave me just. Simple, clear options for what to do, based on what felt right at the time, and it helped so much.

So what I’m doing now is making a sort of little list for myself in my phone’s note app, because let’s be real, we almost always have our phones. I’m starting it off with “get somewhere you feel safe and alone” because for me I would like rather crawl into a hole for twenty years than have family around when I’m dealing with one of these times, and friends are literally Not Around, we’re in a pandemic lol. So I want to be alone.

So my instructions are there for when I need them, something like:

are you somewhere that feels safe and secure (like my locked bedroom, basically)? get there if not.

drink some water. at least a few sips.

breathe. you don’t need to do a breathing exercise unless you want, but take at least a couple deep breaths.

remember this is temporary. this will be over. say that out loud, “this is going to end”.

dim or turn out the lights.

get the weighted dragon or blanket.

if you need stimulation, watch your fish swim or get out the garden light and plug it in so you can watch a light show on the wall.

put on the playlist on your phone and plug in your headphones.

if you’re up to it, read a fanfic if you feel like it.

can you eat?

can you sleep?

does anything hurt that you need to take care of?

breathe some more.

maybe watch some YouTube. whatever sounds okay right now.

consider texting someone.

set a timer for fifteen minutes and go through this list again, see how you’re feeling.

That’s just my list that I’m working on. It’ll be different for everyone, and takes trial and error. This is just a rough draft of my own, lol. But that’s the general idea.

And most importantly, once the flashback is over and you’re pretty grounded and back again, there’s gonna be SOME kind of hangover phase. It might be quick--minutes to several hours, or it might be like, a whole day or two afterwards. For me, these can either be me being in a super screwy headspace where I feel really self-destructive and stuff, or me feeling like my brain doesn’t even work and I can’t think or function much. Be gentle. Be so gentle with yourself. Treat yourself like a sick toddler or someone who has mono or a friend who’s got a concussion or whatever works. In these periods, your life needs to shrink and boil down to exactly 1) staying safe and 2) the ABSOLUTE BASIC needs and nothing more. You have to not hurt yourself or take risks. You need your meds. You need to drink at least a little water and eat at least one thing per day. It’s okay to not function beyond that when it’s bad. Reach out for help if you can or need to.

Flashbacks suck, and I’m still learning to cope myself, but I hope this helps and answers your question well enough!!!!

#ptsd #flashbacks #tw: flashbacks #anonymous #Anonymous

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purplesurveys · 4 years ago

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1047

What’s the most historic thing that has happened in your lifetime? I can think of a few things. There’s 9/11 though I was barely conscious then, Osama Bin Laden’s death, the 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami, 2011 Japan earthquake, and the H1N1 and Covid pandemics. In my country, there were typhoons Ondoy and Yolanda, the Manila hostage crisis, and the Hello Garci election corruption scandal. Out of these, though, I’d say the heaviest ones to bear have been 9/11 and Covid.

What happens in your country regularly that people in most countries would find strange or bizarre?

We use a spoon and fork to eat and only really fancy shmancy restaurants give you a knife and a fork. Many eat with their hands as well, though this is way more common in provinces.

Everyone is late to everything and punctuality isn’t a thing, which is a big culture pet peeve of mine and I still like arriving early/on time anywhere.

This applies to Asia in general lmao, but shoes typically aren’t allowed or at least frowned upon if they go beyond the main entrance of houses.

We start Christmas as early as September, and we end it by the last week of January

When families get together, aunts/uncles will usually greet their nieces/nephews by asking if they already have a boy/girlfriend and/or telling them that they got fat. Horror relatives will greet you with both.

People generally like to keep to themselves, so striking a friendly conversation with strangers even if you have the pure, genuine intention to be simply friendly will just lead them to think you’re being a creep lol

What has been blown way out of proportion? The effects of video games and the question of it increasing violence among kids. Sure there’ve been gruesome accounts and no one’s invalidating those, but the overwhelmingly vast amount of people who play video games end up okay. I had so many killing binges on GTA but to this day I can’t even look at a real gun without shuddering, lol. When was a time you acted nonchalant but were going crazy inside? This is me every morning at work. 9 AM-11 AM is always the busiest period and it’s a lot of shit happening at the same time and a lot of morning deadlines to meet, but unlike college I can’t exactly call for a timeout whenever I want and have panic attacks anymore.

What’s about to get much better? I hope my fucking life is next in line. I’m tired of being tired of being tired.

What are some clever examples of misdirection you’ve seen? Probably all the times WWE would mislead viewers on a rumored return or debut of a big name by saying they’re in another city, implying that there’s no way they’d be appearing on a WWE show. This happened with Ronda Rousey and it was so fucking exciting when she finally showed up, haha.

What’s your funniest story involving a car? I don’t know, really...I don’t try to be funny when I’m on the wheel lol. Probably the time I let Angela use my car on campus, and when she needed to make a u-turn she ended up doing an awkward 90º turn and had an SUV nearly crash towards us. She had only driven a handful of times at that point so she was a little clumsy, but neither of us had any idea she’d fuck up a simple u-turn as badly as she ended up doing lmao.

What would be the click-bait titles of some popular movies? I can think of more clickbait posters than titles, but I can’t seem to remember what those films are called right now.

If you built a themed hotel, what would the theme be and what would the rooms look like? Themed hotels generally make me cringe. The most theme-y place we ever stayed at was the lodge in Sagada and it was really just more homey than anything. I’m not into themes when it comes to hotels as I find it a little cheap lol and I’ve always preferred a straightforward experience in the places I stay at for vacations.

What scientific discovery would change the course of humanity overnight if it was discovered? A way to live forever. < This is a good one. Also, maybe a huge asteroid or meteor bound to hit the planet that will make widespread extinction a certainty? I can’t even begin to imagine the panic that will rise from something like that.

Do you think that humans will ever be able to live together in harmony? I doubt it. It sounds difficult especially when you realize we’re 7 billion in total.

What would your perfect bar look like? As long as there aren’t any annoying younger college kids, who are almost always the loudest crowd and not in a good way, I’m okay with any kind of bar.

What’s the scariest non-horror movie? Some shots in 2001: A Space Odyssey are freaky as fuck. There were several scenes that included sudden HAL shots, and I did not enjoy those. How the fuck Kubrick managed to make a computer scary is beyond me. I’ve also always skipped the vortex scene with the creepy face shots after seeing it once.

What’s the most amazing true story you’ve heard? This is a really vague question... a few months ago I watched this video diary of parents who had a child born at like 25 weeks. Just way too early, basically. And they recorded the kid’s weekly progress, how she kept fighting, and her journey of being transported from one machine to another while she still needed them. It was beautiful to see her get bigger and plumper with each week that passed and it was just such a feel-good story to watch. I was so relieved when they showed footage of her as a normal, healthy toddler by the end of the clip.

What’s the grossest food that you just can’t get enough of? I know balut is pretty unpopular in the Western part of the world, but I’ll gladly eat a dozen of them in one sitting. In general Asian street food is usually considered gross - pig intestines, chicken intestines, chicken feet, pig ears, etc., but all are normal in the culture I was raised in.

What brand are you most loyal to? It’s annoying and I can’t help it, but Apple.

What’s the most awkward thing that happens to you on a regular basis? I try not to make it regular, but sometimes a mistake on my end will slip through in an email I’m sending and I have to send another email correcting myself and apologizing for the oversight. One of my least favorite parts about work.

If you had to disappear and start a whole new life, what would you want your new life to look like? I’m not wishing for much. I just wish it was easier to remove any trace of me on social media sites and have it be as if I never existed because I think that would make it easier for me to move on from...well, you know what. I still have trouble verbalizing it and I don’t feel like mentioning it tonight.

But idk, I like staying connected to my family and friends, so idk if I can ever achieve that. And that said, I think I’m bound to always keep seeing her around.

What movie or book do you know the most quotes from? I memorize a pathetic amount of dialogue from Love Actually, Twilight, Titanic, and The Proposal. What was one of the most interesting concerts you’ve been to? I guess Coldplay? They gave assigned lightsticks for each section and the crowd looked amazing when the production crew activated the lights for certain songs. I still have some of the clips because I posted them on Snapchat, so I’m really glad I did that; otherwise I would’ve lost the videos forever.

Where are you not welcome anymore? I’ve felt pretty unwelcome around her. How she could do a 180 and just not be interested in having anything to do with me is really soul-crushing.

What do you think could be done to improve the media? Fact fucking check, please. Also keeping sources balanced, avoiding clickbait headlines, being more objective than neutral, and don’t fucking sensationalize. How timely that this landed on a journalism graduate, hahaha.

What’s the most recent show you’ve binge watched? Start Up but I haven’t continued in the last two weeks :/ I think it’s because I know I’m nearing the finale and I subconsciously just don’t want to run out of Start Up episodes to watch lol but yeah, I still have four episodes left and I have no clue when I’ll watch it again.

What’s a common experience for many people that you’ve never experienced? Being close with their mom and considering them as their rock.

What are some misconceptions about your hobby? I don’t know enough about embroidery to know misconceptions about it.

What did you Google last? 2001: A Space Odyssey because I needed to be sure of the scenes I planned on citing in the question above that made me mention the movie.

What’s the dumbest thing someone has argued with you about? Not being able to find a restaurant to eat at. The backstory is a little complicated but it’s the same fight that led my younger brother to slap me across the face, and what subsequently led me to stop speaking to him.

If money and practicality weren’t a problem, what would be the most interesting way to get around town? Probably a tank.

What’s the longest rabbit hole you’ve been down? It’s always the ones on Wikipedia lol. I find weird and interesting articles on there all the time; there’s always something new to read.

What odd smell do you really enjoy? The rain, though sometimes it can be too overpowering when the humidity has been high. I like it for the most part, though.

What fashion trend makes you cringe or laugh every time you see it? Streetwear is so fucking dull to me. I never saw the appeal.

What’s your best story of you or someone else trying to be sneaky and failing miserably? Hahahaha this happened just a few weeks ago actually. My parents and I were headed out to have some ramen, and I opened the car door to hop onto the backseat. They didn’t prepare beforehand and they left the Christmas gift I asked for - a corkboard - in the backseat, so I was able to see the whole thing, unwrapped and with price tag and all. Their mortified faces knowing that their secret’s been blown were hilarious. They had no choice but to just give it up, and the corkboard has been on my wall since.

If you had a HUD that showed three stats about any person you looked at, what three stats would you want it to show? I guess the stability of our relationship, their general mood for the day, and erm how badly they need a hug because I’m always willing to give some.

What’s the best way you or someone you know has gotten out of a ticket / trouble with the law? My mom fake-cries her way out and it’s always been hilarious to see a grown ass woman do it and pull it off every time.

Tear gas makes people cry and laughing gas makes people giggle, what other kinds of gases do you wish existed? I don’t really want to manipulate people’s action in this way, so pass.

#survey #surveys

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keyofjetwolf · 5 years ago

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THE GIFTENING 2019: Jet Wolf’s Nomination Run-down

Last year, people said they would have liked to know which of the nominations I’d seen, or knew about, or liked, or didn’t like, etc. etc. I HEAR YOU. Under the cut, you’ll find all the nominees in every relevant category (anime, non-anime animated, live action, movies, games), and a couple of brief notes on my familiarity (or lack thereof) and general feelings on the thing.

YOU NEED NOT CONSIDER ANY OF THIS BEFORE MAKING YOUR VOTES

I’m putting the info out there for those who’ve wanted to know, but that information is relevant precisely as much as you want it to be. I can and will liveblog something I hate, I can play a game I’ve played twenty times before. THE GIFTENING is for you, and while I won’t lie (I won’t pretend to like something I don’t, I won’t feign surprise at a twist on my 21st playthrough), I’ll happily provide whatever entertainment in whatever way I can.

Also please note that if I don’t like something, that feeling comes with no value judgement. My disliking a thing reflects only on myself. So if you see I’m not a fan of something, or don’t think I’ll like it based on what I’ve seen or heard, please keep in mind there’s nothing personal toward in you at all in that. AND HELL I COULD BE WRONG FEEL FREE TO TRY AND SHOW ME

Anyway, enough with the blah blah. Join me under the cut if you care to know!

Anything marked only with ** means I haven’t seen/played it nor have any particular thoughts or opinions to share.

Anime

.hack//Sign **

A Place Further Than The Universe - Haven’t seen it, but from Dashboard Osmosis, was more interested in it than I have been a non-Sailor Moon anime in a long time.

Aggretsuko **

Aikatsu! **

Alien Nine **

Angel Sanctuary **

Aria the Animation **

Assassination Classroom **

Azumanga Daioh **

Bodacious Space Pirates - Saw through the first couple of episodes (liveblog here!) Not sure where it’s going, but liked it pretty well!

Bubblegum Crisis - An old personal favourite

Clannad **

Death Note - I think it’s about killing people with a slam book I DUNNO

Death Parade **

Diebuster **

Erased (Boku Dake Ga Inai Machi) **

Excel Saga **

Fate/Grand Order: Babylonia **

Fate/Grand Order: First Order **

Fire Force **

Free! Iwatobi Swim Club - I’ve watched the first series. It’s okay, WOULD BE BETTER IF NOT SO MANY DUDES

Fresh Precure - I’ve not seen any Precure series, but if pressed, would say it appears overwhelmingly fluffy and saccharine

Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood - a GIFTENING favourite! Barely into it, but enjoying so far. (previous liveblog here)

Fushigi Yuugi - I watched the series (quit partway through the OAVs) when I finished Sailor Moon back in the day and desperately wanted to find it again. I failed.

Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun **

Given **

Glitter Force **

Grave of the Fireflies - NEVER SEEN IT HAVE BEEN INFORMED IT WILL DEVASTATE ME

Haibane Renmei - I know only what I’ve read via Holligay’s liveblogs! (find them here)

Hamtaro - uhm isn’t this about a hamster

Higurashi When They Cry **

Houseki no Kuni (Land of the Lustrous) **

Hugtto! Precure - See note on previous Precure

Hyouka **

Kaguya-sama: Love is War **

Kaleido Star **

Kemono Friends **

Kimetsu no Yaiba **

Little Witch Academia **

Log Horizon **

Love Hina **

Luck & Logic **

Madoka: Rebellion - I saw the Madoka series (fairly ambivalent to it), and heard the movie was terrible, but no clue why, specifically.

Magic Knight Rayearth - Watched this back in the day and haven’t watched a single second since. I REMEMBER LIKING THE BLUE ONE

Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha - Someone sponsored this liveblog for a while! (liveblog here) It was doing some really interesting things with kids burdened with all this world-saving shit, I thought.

Magical Girl Pretty Sammy (TV not OAV) - I know this is a Tenchi Muyo! spin-off (watched some Tenchi back in the day), but I’ve never seen it. Magical Girl Raising Project - Seen the whole series, and really quite enjoyed it.

March Comes in Like a Lion (3-gatsu no Lion) **

Megalobox **

Mirai Nikki (The Future Diary) **

Mob Psycho 100 - Never seen it, but know a bit about it through Dashboard Osmosis.

Mobile Suit Gundam (1979) - WOW WE’RE GOING BACK INTO THE OLDEN TIMES. I’ve seen bits and pieces of *A* Gundam, but no idea which.

Moribito **

My Bride is a Mermaid (Seto No Hanayome) **

My Roommate is a Cat - Never heard of it, love the title, want it to be a series mashed with the one above.

NANA

Natsume's Book of Friends - I’ve heard the title enough to have it ring a bell, but know nothing otherwise.

Neon Genesis Evangelion - I FUCKING HATE EVANGELION I SEE YOU HOLLIGAY

O Maidens in Your Savage Season - This is another banger title, never heard of it.

Ojamajo Doremi **

Pretear

Princess Principal

Princess Tutu - WE’RE OLD FRIENDS TUTU AND I. I’m currently liveblogging Princess Tutu on the regular thanks to Calantian! (liveblog here) I just got to the halfway point of episode 12, and have Tutu on the schedule for January as well. LOVING THIS SHOW.

Project A-Ko - Among my earliest of anime experiences. A classic. A weird, weird little classic.

Re:Creators **

Read or Die (OAV) **

Revolutionary Girl Utena - I’ve no doubt my time of fully diving into this anime is approaching, but thus far, I’ve only nibbled at the edges. I know there’s shit here, there are too many people into it. MOSTLY THOUGH I’M STILL CONFUSED ABOUT WHY THERE WAS A KANGAROO (previous liveblogs here)

Rose of Versailles - It’s a historical anime and I think there are lesbians?

Samurai Pizza Cats - I could have this wrong, but I think this is a dubbed anime that’s hilariously unconcerned about anything involving the actual translation and plot? And it’s about cats that deliver pizza? I think there’s a crow that’s the bad guy or something?

School-Live - I know the general premise and watched the first episode ahead of Doc’s Eight Days liveblog of it. What I know has intrigued me.

Serial Experiments Lain - I watched this waaaay back when. Bought it on DVD! Still have them! I cannot for the life of me remember how I felt about it.

Slayers - Another I watched a bit back when! Found it to be generally okay, but it was like twenty something years ago because I am an old.

Snow White with the Red Hair **

Suite Precure - See previous Precure notes

Sweetness and Lightning - I got this as a Wildcard a couple GIFTENINGs ago, and found it to be CHARMING AS FUCK. I’m still mildly concerned it’s going to go creepy and weird on me Because Anime, but otherwise, I had a great time. (previous liveblog)

The Promised Neverland **

Thunderbolt Fantasy **

Trigun - I think I saw this on commercials for Toonami? Vash the Demolished or something? I THINK IT’S ABOUT A DUDE WITH A GUN

Umineko When They Cry **

Violet Evergarden **

Yona of the Dawn - I did a tiny bit of this for a commission, but remember next to nothing about it. (previous liveblog)

Zombie Land Saga - I ASSUME IT INVOLVES ZOMBIES IN SOME FASHION

Non-Anime Animated

Adventure Time - Seen a lot of it pass my dash, I know there’s a yellow dog that can be things, and the vampire and the pink one are gay.

Anastasia - Just livestreamed the movie with Holligay for Eight Days! I’ve no particular feelings toward it otherwise.

Archer - I KNOW IT’S ADULT

Barbie: Life in the Dreamhouse - This has been nominated every single GIFTENING, I think, and while I’m no closer to knowing what this is actually about, the persistence is inspiring.

Bob's Burgers - Great show! Seen many episodes! I think it’ll be hard to liveblog in a meaningful way.

Bojack Horseman - I’ve seen through season three. EXCELLENT SHOW

Captain N - What the fuck I think I used to watch this on Saturday mornings

Carmen Sandiego (2019) **

Castlevania (2017) - I’ve seen a couple gifsets, that’s it.

Chuggingtons - WHY DO YOU PEOPLE HATE ME

Courage the Cowardly Dog - I know the premise, never watched the show.

Cyber Six **

Daria - It was a Beavis & Butthead spin-off and that immediately killed all interest for me.

Donkey Kong Country (TV series) **

Ducktales (2017) - I know a lot of people love them, but I have to say, I’m not a huge fan of the Disney ducks, generally speaking.

Epithet Erased **

Ever After High **

Gargoyles - Saw the first multi-part episode in a livestream a year or so back. It was pretty standard 90s cartoon stuff to me just from that, but I know it’s well-loved.

Generator Rex **

Gravity Falls - Currently liveblogging for the Patreon! LOVE IT. I’m not sure we’re outside the exclusivity window for it, but if it makes it into the second heat, I’ll figure out how to go from there.

Green Eggs and Ham (series) - Wait, what the hell, this is a series? HOW DO YOU MAKE THIS INTO A SERIES

Green Lantern: The Animated Series **

Harley Quinn - Loved the clips I saw of the first episode! Did not love the antisemitic clips I saw of the second episode!

Hazbin Hotel **

Hilda **

Home Movies - The few clips I’ve seen were hilarious.

Infinity Train **

JEM - MY LOVE. It’s desperately 80s and objectively poorly done in places and I adore it with my entire being.

Jonny Quest **

Kidd Video - I feel like I SHOULD know this, but I can’t place it.

Kim Possible - I’ve heard of it!

Klaus **

Mao Mao Heroes of Pure Heart **

Moominvalley (2019) - I know Moomins are those little white hippo things. I am pure confusion beyond that.

My Life as a Teenage Robot **

Over the Garden Wall - I did a couple episodes for my Patreon a few years ago, and have since finished watching the whole series. I’m up for a rewatch!

Rugrats - I know of it, but have only watched the Hanukkah special.

RWBY - Heard of it! I had the impression it was pretty queerbaity? (don’t quote me on that)

Samurai Jack - I know the premise, but never watched the series

She-Ra (80s) - YES I KNOW YOU

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018) - Love it, love it. I still haven’t seen the most recent “season” (it’s a half season don’t jerk me around Netflix)

Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse - I am a long-time comic book nerd and quite familiar with the Spider-Mans. Saw the film shortly after last year’s GIFTENING and enjoyed it.

Star vs the Forces of Evil - Had a liveblog of this for THE GIFTENING a few years back and it was okay, but I wasn’t super impressed. (previous liveblog)

Super Friends - I FUCKING HATE THE SUPER FRIENDS I SEE YOU HUBBY

Tangled: Before Ever After - Saw the movie, never seen the series!

The Animals of Farthing Wood **

The Dragon Prince - I’ve heard Tumblr chatter in a general sense, but no details.

The Hollow **

The Loud House **

The Super Mario Bros. Super Show **

Thundercats - I fucking loved Thundercats as a kid, hahhaha, there is no way it holds up.

Totally Spies - I’ve had several Patreon livestreams with the show, so have a pretty good general sense of the show at this point. I’m not sure it’d make a good liveblog, though.

Venture Brothers - I think it features a blond buff dude in a black t-shirt?

Wakfu (French dub) - Oh hey, this was a free to play game at PAX one year! That’s it, that’s all I know.

Winx Club **

X-Men: The Animated Series (90s) - DID SOMEONE SAY X-MEN??? I love this show. Hubby and I still to this day quote this show. This show is not good.

X-Men Evolution - Evo, on the other hand, is EXCELLENT. One of the single best incarnations of the X-Men, in my opinion. Seen all eps multiple times, love it, can talk for a hideously long time about details you never in your life cared about, will probably not make it through an episode, please consider if that is a point for or against it before you vote. (previous liveblog)

Live Action

Agent Carter - Saw the Captain America movie, that’s it!

American Gods - Read the book

Atypical - I know the premise very loosely, and it sounds good, but I’d be a little concerned about accidentally stomping in all the wrong places with my giant clumsy neurotypical feet.

Babylon 5 - I know it’s a sci-fi classic, and I’ve been assured there are characters I would love, but haven’t seen it.

Batman (Adam West series) - A SERIOUS LIVEBLOG WILL RESULT I’M SURE

Black Mirror ("White Bear") - This episode still fucks with me to this day. It’s exceptional, and also very very complicated. This would be a heavy liveblog, be warned. (previous Black Mirror liveblogs)

Brooklyn 99 - I’ve only watched a bit of this and enjoyed it, but like most sitcoms, it’s incredibly difficult to liveblog. (previous liveblog)

Buffy the Vampire Slayer - One of my live’s greatest televisual loves. Joss Whedon and time have mostly driven that out of me, but letting my ego out to play for a second, I have to say, I give some pretty good Buffy. (previous liveblogs)

Cagney & Lacey - A formative favourite for tiny baby Jet Wolf! It’s a cop procedural, with all the downsides that implies, but also it’s lady cop BFFs AND I LOVE IT AND THEM

Carmilla - A current staple of the blog, thanks to @cello-moon! I’ve just started Season 3, and if you’re a regular around here, you know how all this goes. (previous liveblogs)

Charmed (1998) - I know of it, very very loosely, but never watched it.

Charmed (2018) - Also loosely known, but even less so!

Cloak and Dagger - I’m burned out (and just burned) from Disney’s Marvel garbage, but I know Cloak & Dagger from the comics, am that only makes me more surprised this show exists.

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend - I never picked this back up after THE GIFTENING, but had a great time with what we watched! (previous liveblog)

Critical Role (The Night Before Critmas one-shot) - I haven’t seen this one shot, but I DO love me some Critical Role.

Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance - We watched the whole series, and I enjoyed it way more than I thought I would. PODLINGS ARE VALID AND HUP IS THE MOST VALID OF ALL

Dear Friends **

Derry Girls - Watched the whole thing a couple times now, absolutely adore it. One of the best shows I’ve seen in a while. Once again though, comedies can be SO hard to liveblog.

Dinnerladies **

Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency - I’ve heard of the book series?

Doctor Who - I’ve tried SO HARD to like Doctor Who, and yet.

Doctor Who (City of Death serial) - See above, no thoughts on this serial specifically.

Elementary - I’ve seen the first three seasons, I think it is? They began to lose me with some season choices, but I love Sherlock and Joan SO MUCH.

Farscape - I watched the series when it was first on The Sci-Fi Channel, but they kept jerking the schedule around and it fell off my radar. Quite liked it though, as I recall.

Galavant - I SUPER BELIEVE IN YOU TAD COOPER (previous liveblogs)

Good Omens (miniseries) - Read the book and survived the miniseries consuming Tumblr, but didn’t watch it myself.

Hannibal - I remember when this was EVERYWHERE, but mostly I remember that it was very gay and had that guy from Rogue One in it.

Hellier **

His Dark Materials - Haven’t watched it, haven’t read the books, I know nothing!

Kamen Rider (1971, ep 1) **

Kamen Rider Fourze **

Kamen Rider W **

Kanpai Senshi After V **

Killing Eve - I’ve seen some photo and gif sets, but haven’t watched it. I think they’re trying to murder each other? But also fuck? IT’S VERY CONFUSING

Legends of Tomorrow - I know it’s a DC show, and I think it has something to do with time travelers?

Leverage - I just watched and streamed my first two episodes last night on Patreon! Quite enjoyed it, more than I expected to.

LOST - Until proven otherwise, I’ll assume this was a troll nomination. GOOD GOD I HATE LOST

Lost Girl **

Love Island (season 3) **

Maho Sentai Magiranger **

Midnight Dinner: Tokyo Stories **

Murder She Wrote - Actual lol, I have no idea why this was nominated, but I love it and also you. ANGELA LANSBURY ON TV WE ALL WIN

Murdoch Mysteries **

Once Upon a Time - The premise is fairytales all smooshed together I think?

One Day at a Time (2017) - I’ve watched all but the most recent season, I think. Good show, very enjoyable, but mostly “watch and forget” for me.

Orphan Black - Currently liveblogging, thanks to @skylineofspace! I’m currently on episode 4, and absolutely loving it. (previous liveblogs)

Parks and Recreation - I’ve seen all but the last season, I think. Great show, but once again, I’d expect a difficult time liveblogging it.

Pushing Daisies - Never seen it. I think it’s about someone whose touch kills?

Re:Mind **

Russian Doll - Never seen a single second, but I’ve heard nothing but good things through the grapevine.

Sapphire & Steel - HUBBY’S TROLLING ME AGAIN. This is an oooold old old English sci-fi/horror show that I used to watch when I was a tiny tiny Jet Wolf and it scared the shit out of me. I’M STILL MILDLY TRAUMATIZED BY IT TO THIS DAY

Schitt's Creek **

Sense8 **

Shanara **

Smash **

Star Trek: The Next Generation - I love me some Star Trek. I’ve seen all of TNG, but haven’t sat down to fully rewatch the series ever, so most I only saw when they first aired.

Stargate SG1 - I think this is based on a movie I also haven’t seen.

Tantei no Tantei **

Terrace House **

The Good Place - OKAY SO THE GOOD PLACE. I watched the first two seasons and LOVED THEM. Mostly. I DO NOT love the Eleanor/Chidi thing. I do not love it to the extent that it completely sucked out my desire to continue with the show. I haven’t seen anything of it past the S2 finale. (previous liveblog)

The Haunting of Hill House - Watched and enjoyed the whole miniseries. I confess to being uncertain about liveblogging this though, as I feel Doc is doing it so much better than I could hope to do.

The Magicians & The Crown **

The Mandalorian - I KNOW BABY YODA BECAUSE I AM A PERSON WHO EXISTS IN OUR MODERN WORLD (that is all I know)

The Middleman **

The Tick (2016) - I know and enjoyed the cartoon!

The Untamed **

Twilight Zone - Who doesn’t know the Twilight Zone, it’s a fucking classic for a reason.

Twin Peaks - Believe it or not, I have never seen a single second of Twin Peaks. I know it’s weird, I know Laura Palmer is dead, I know functionally nothing else.

Ultraman X **

Westworld - Haven’t seen it, though I believe it’s loosely based on the movie of the same name which I HAVE seen.

What We Do in the Shadows (series) - I’ve seen neither the series nor the movie, but know it’s Taika Waititi and is reportedly hilarious.

Worst Cooks in America - WAIT AM I IN A TV SHOW

Xena: Warrior Princess - My OTHER great love. Adore Xena, adore everything about it (well, mostly), have devoted a not insignificant amount of my heart and brainspace to Xena, if you have me talk about Xena I may never shut up. (previous liveblogs)

Movies

Arrival **

Atomic Blonde **

Barbie's The Princess and The Pauper **

Bedknobs and Broomsticks - Saw it a million years ago, remember functionally nothing.

Best in Show - Also seen a very long time ago, just the once.

Bohemian Rhapsody - I love Queen and Freddie Mercury, and I had exactly zero interest in watching this film.

Brave - A Disney/Pixar movie I actually liked!

Cabaret - I haven’t seen the film, though I did see the stage musical, and it fucked me up pretty hardcore for a while there. (Do not let that dissuade you from voting for it! I’ve been wanting to watch the movie. Trump had just been elected when I saw it performed AND WELL THERE WERE THINGS)

Captain Marvel - Haven’t seen it, but it’s one of the few later stage Disney/Marvel offerings I’ve had any interest in.

Captain Underpants **

Carrie (1976) - ANOTHER SUPER OLDIE I’M SO DELIGHTED. I’ve seen it as well as read the book (both a very long time ago)

Castaway on the Moon **

Cats (1998) - hahahah I SEE YOU YOU ASSHOLES

Chocolat **

Clue (1985) - One of my personal favourite movies, though I did stream it not too long ago for my Patreon.

Coco **

Crank **

Crimson Peak **

Dale and Tucker vs Evil - I’ve never seen this, but have wanted to.

Detective Pikachu - Saw this in the theater, and I’m still not sure if I actually enjoyed it or not.

Equestria Girls Rainbow Rocks - THIS IS A MY LITTLE PONY THING ISN’T IT

EVA **

Fate/Grand Order: First Order **

Flash Gordon - Delicious, cheesy fun.

Frozen 2 - I won’t be able to stream this if it’s not been released when it’s GIFTENING time, so just keep that in mind. Also please note that I have not seen Frozen 1. I only just, a few months ago, heard “Let it Go” for the first time. TRUE STORY.

Godzilla: King of Monsters **

Happy New Year (Bollywood) - I legit love Bollywood films, this sounds delightful.

Here Alone **

Home **

Hoodwinked! **

Hot Fuzz - LOVE HOT FUZZ

How to Train Your Dragon **

Howl's Moving Castle - I haven’t seen it, but I’ve had a few other Miyazaki films voted in for GIFTENING and Patreon, and I haven’t really enjoyed any of them. I’M WILLING TO TRY AGAIN. Just keep in mind, they may not be for me.

Hustlers **

In Her Shoes **

Inside Out **

Interstellar **

It's Such a Beautiful Day **

Jennifer's Body **

Jojo Rabbit - I wasn’t able to see this when it was at our local indy theater, and I regret missing it. I’d love to see it, but I’m not sure with my goyische commentary would be the best delivery method.

Jupiter Ascending - Love this beautiful dumb film, omg. I’ve streamed this for previous GIFTENINGs though, if that’s a thing to care about.

Klaus **

Knives Out - Very keen to see this, but it may not be out on dvd/streaming before THE GIFTENING, so bear that in mind.

Last of the Blonde Bombshells **

Legally Blonde - I’VE ACTUALLY NEVER SEEN THIS. I feel like I have, from all the gifs and shit, but nope!

Love Never Dies - Oh my god is this the Phantom sequel, why do you all hate me.

Mad Max: Fury Road - LOVE IT. I’ve done it for THE GIFTENING before, though, just a note.

Madoka: Rebellion - (copied from Rebellion in Anime) I saw the Madoka series (fairly ambivalent to it), and heard the movie was terrible, but no clue why, specifically.

Man from UNCLE **

Masters of the Universe (He-Man, 1987) - This movie is so fucking bad hahaha

Midsommar **

Monster High: Fright On **

Muppet Christmas Carol - Just watched this during Holligay’s Eight Days! I’m not sure it’s really in my wheelhouse, being relatively lukewarm on both A Christmas Carol and the Muppets, but I’d do my best!

Murder on the Orient Express **

Newsies (1992) **

One Cut of the Dead **

Pacific Rim - I saw it in the theater and actually didn’t care for it over much. I’d be willing to give it another shot though, it might be better second time around.

Pan's Labyrinth - I’ve streamed this film a couple times now, I think, but it’s a good one, so I’m up for another go if you guys want!

Parasite (2019) **

Perfect Blue **

Pleasantville **

Promare **

Redline **

Resident Evil **

Return to Oz - I saw this as a kid and haven’t again since. TAKE THAT INFORMATION AS YOU WILL.

Rock-a-Doodle **

Searching (2018) **

Secret of Nimh - LITTLE JET WOLF LOVED THIS MOVIE. Adult Jet Wolf hasn’t sampled it.

Spaceballs - I’ve watched the shit out of Spaceballs. I love a parody, I’m shameless.

Speed Racer (2008) - I’ve only seen this once,but actually enjoyed it more than I expected to.

Spice World - I legitimately love this movie. I’m not sure it’s GOOD but it’s a thousand times better than it has any right to be.

Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse - Good movie, lots of fun, I streamed it not too long ago on Patreon.

Star Wars - IT’S STAR WARS

Star Wars Holiday Special - I’ve never watched this, and I’m not sure how excited I am to change that fact.

Street Fighter (1994) - I HAVE ONLY HEARD THE LEGENDS

Summer Wars **

Super Mario Brothers - Oh .. this can’t be good ...

Tale of Tales **

Tangled - I’ve seen it, but didn’t have strong opinions one way or the other.

The Adventures of Tintin **

The Great Muppet Caper - I’m sure I’ve seen this, but fuck if I can remember anything.

The Last Jedi (hatewatch) - WELP

The Living Wake **

The Lost Boys - It’s not a good movie, and I love it.

The Mummy (1999) - Streamed recently on Patreon!

The Rezort **

The Road to El Dorado - I’ve seen it, I want a Sailor Moon AU of it.

The Room - I know it’s considered one of the worst films ever made, but I’ve never had the personal privilege of experience.

Tokyo Godfathers **

Us (2019) - Saw it in the theater, totally down for seeing it again with perspective on the whole movie.

Venom **

Wall-E - Probably my favourite Pixar film!

Wayne's World - Saw it back when! Does it hold up? WHO KNOWS

What We Do in the Shadows (movie) - As mentioned above, I’ve never seen it, but I’ve heard it’s an amazing Taika Waititi joint.

When Marnie Was There **

Wolf Children Ame and Yuki **

X-Men 2 - GOD I LOVED THIS MOVIE. I’m not sure how well it would hold up, but when it came out? One of the few films I’ve paid to see multiple times in the theater.

Your Name **

Games

Ace Attorney (blog) - I’ve tried multiple times with the Ace Attorney games, and I must be honest and say I just don’t like them.

Amnesia: The Dark Descent - I’ve watched a playthrough! The story’s not good. THE IDEA OF PLAYING IT STRESSES ME OUT SO HARD HAHAHAH YOU FUCKS

Among the Sleep (stream) **

Arkham Knight (main story run) (stream) - Very intrigued to play this. I’ve tinkered a bit, but get distracted by all the side stuff. The motivation to just streamline the story very much appeals.

Baba is You (stream) - I’ve heard great things about the game, but in a “It was great!” way, I still know fuck all about it.

Black Closet (blog) **

Borderlands (stream) - Love Borderlands, it’s fun as hell. I’d probably angle for Borderlands 2 over the first, but would have a good time however it went.

Catherine Classic **

Cho Aniki **

Control (stream) - I’ve seen a little bit on Steam, just enough to know I’m interested.

Cthulhu Save Christmas - Never heard of it, but great title.

Cuphead (stream) **

Danganronpa **

Danganronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc (blog) **

Dead by Daylight (stream) **

Death Stranding **

Death Trips **

Detention (stream) **

Disco Elysium (blog) - I’ve heard great things, would be totally okay with a reason to play it.

Doki Doki Lit Club (stream) - I was so intrigued with this from THE GIFTENING a couple years ago that I wanted to work it into the main schedule, but it just didn’t happen. 100% on-board the chance to keep going!

Dragon Age: Origins (stream) - I KEEP STALLING WHENEVER I TRY TO REPLAY THIS GAME SO I CAN MOVE TO DA2 THIS IS MY PERSONAL HELL

Dragon Quest Builders 2 (stream) **

Dream Daddy - I know the premise, and the idea of blogging this is beautiful.

Final Fantasy X (blog) - Have I played X? (asks Hubby) YES I HAVE. It’s one of the few that I finished. Final Fantasy games usually entail so much grinding that I’m not sure it’d be a great liveblog, but I’d do my best!

Firewatch - I’ve been wanting reasons to play this SO MUCH.

Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective (stream) - I’m preeetty sure everyone just wants to hear how many terrible accents we can do. And that’s legit! I’ve since figured out how to play mobile games on my PC so the video quality would be better than last time, but that is the only improvement I could promise. (previous stream)

Gris **

Half Dead 2 (stream) **

Hand of Fate 2 (blog) - I think this is a card game?

Hatoful Boyfriend/Pigeon Fucking (blog) - IS IT EVEN REALLY THE GIFTENING WITHOUT PIGEON FUCKING (previous liveblogs)

Hollow Knight **

House Flipper (blog) - I’ve tentatively had my eye on this on Steam for a while, so seeing this nominated tickled me.

Just Dance (stream) - Jesus wept, you all DO hate me. IF I HAVE TO DO THIS I WON’T DO IT ALONE

Legend of Heroes: Trails in the Sky (First Chapter) (blog) **

Legend of Zelda (stream) - I AM SO BAD AT THIS GAME WHY

Life is Strange (blog) - See below!

Life is Strange (stream) - I streamed all episodes of Life is Strange a couple years back. While I’m not sure I’d have much to offer on a replay, I’ll happily do it if you guys vote it in. MEANWHILE, here’s a playlist with all the Life is Strange streams.

Life is Strange 2 - My understanding is it’s a separate game from the first with new characters and new story.

Life is Strange: Before the Storm (stream) - And I believe this is a prequel to the first Life is Strange featuring Max and Chloe.

Little Inferno (stream) **

Long Live the Queen (blog) - YOU KNOW PINK PRINCESS (previous liveblogs)

Long Live the Queen (stream) (with walkthrough to not repeat) - I laughed so hard at the nomination specifically giving my ass a walkthrough.

Mass Effect 1 - I’ve played it multiple times! The Mass Effect series is one of my personal favourites.

Monster Prom (w/Hubby, Doc, & Jill) (stream) - AGAIN WITH VOICES I SEE YOU. It can be difficult to get everyone’s schedules all in alignment, so this may be subject to shuffling and delays, just to keep in mind.

Nancy Drew: Ghost Dogs of Moon Lake (stream) **

Overwatch (stream) - I assume this is more group play? But we can talk details if it makes it into further heats.

Oxenfree (stream) - I’ve fully streamed Oxenfree on the Patreon. It’s well outside the exclusivity window at this point, and I’m happy to make those public if you guys were interested and would rather put your votes elsewhere. That said, I really enjoyed the game, and think a second playthrough could add a lot to the overall experience, so feel free.

Pathologic 2 (blog) **

Persona 3 Portable (blog) **

Pillars of Eternity (blog) - I’ve never finished Pillars of Eternity, but I do have a game with some significant progress I could continue. Alternately, I could roll a whole new character, and would play it however you guys chose. We have options if we go this route!

Pokemon Go (stream/videos) - Amazing. Here the link to last year’s Pokemon Go, if you’d like some idea of what the fuck this is about!

Portal (stream) - The Portal series is great, I think it does some really interesting and innovative ideas with gameplay. I’ve played and finished the first two, though remembering the solutions to any of those puzzles is, of course, another thing entirely.

Recettear: An Item Shop Tale (stream) - THIS WAS THE FIRST THING I EVER BOUGHT ON STEAM. I haven’t played it in forever, and I’m not sure how entertaining it would be, but I’m down for finding out!

Resident Evil 2 remake (blog) - IT’S ZOMBIES. That’s about all I know about Resident Evil.

Reventure **

Sara is Missing **

Shovel Knight (stream) **

Slime Rancher (blog) - I have and have played Slime Rancher! I’m a little unsure about blogging it, but would try!

Slime Rancher (stream) - I WASN’T EXPECTING SUCH A RUSH FROM THE SLIME RANCHER FANDOM THIS YEAR

Stanley Parable - I think Hubby’s played this? I seem to recall it has a narrator who comments on what you do, but I don’t know much else.

Stardew Valley (blog) - I’ve never gotten as far in Stardew Valley as I’ve felt I would. Lots to do for me, yet!

Stardew Valley (stream) - Same as above, just in stream form!

Subnautica (stream) - I’ve done several Subnautica streams for Patreon, and if this gets through, I’d release them so everyone (who wants to) can catch up. If I recall, my last play left off with me exploring a big ass ship that crashed.

Superluminal **

Tales from the Borderlands - It’s Borderlands, but Telltale, though!

Tales of Symphonia **

Team SASV (Pokemon X/Y) - TEAM SASSY AND SOMEWHAT VAIN. If this gets in, I’ll need all the intervening time to try and find my fucking DS. (previous liveblogs, via the backup)

The 7th Guest (blog) **

The Beginner's Guide (stream) **

The Long Dark **

The Outer Worlds - I haven’t played this yet but would be extremely delighted for an excuse to pick it up and start.

The Walking Dead game - I watched Hubby play the first two installments, haven’t seen beyond that. Felt the second was weak, LOVED the first. I’ve been hanging on Holligay’s playthrough, so I’m relatively familiar with the story again, save the last episode, which she’s not played yet. I’ve been wanting to before she did, to compare what I think she’ll do to what she actually does, so an excuse to get going on that would be welcome.

The Witcher 3 (stream) - I know @jewishsuperfam loves The Witcher, AND THAT IS ALL I KNOW.

Undertale (blog) - AREN’T I LIKE TWO MINUTES FROM FINISHING THIS. The fight where I left off was frustrating THE PISS out of me, but if this gets in, I’ll get Hubby to read up on what I need to do, and maybe get around that fight before the liveblog, so I don’t spend the whole time getting nowhere and then punching my monitor.

Untitled Goose Game (stream) - I just last month finished this on the Patreon! I need to double check that it would be out of the exclusivity window, but if so, I’d be happy to release it for you guys. I had a great time, but I don’t think there’s much to be regained from playing it again.

VA-11 Hall-A (blog) **

VooDoo Vance: Remastered **

Wattam **

We Happy Few (stream) - I know the basic storyline premise, but little else.

What Remains of Edith Finch (blog) - I watched Holligay’s stream of this and loved the story.

Wild Arms 3 **

Wild ARMs XF (blog) **

Yakuza 0 (stream) **

Zero Escape 999 (blog) **

AND THAT’S THAT. Sailor Moon Day and Miscellaneous don’t require much input from me ahead of time, I don’t feel, but if you have a question on anything there -- or something that’s unclear here, just shoot me an Ask. AND IF YOU FOUND THIS USEFUL PLEASE LET ME KNOW. It took me ... just SO much longer than I was expecting it to. Which I don’t mind, but if it’s not actually helpful to anyone, that’s time better spent elsewhere next year.

#THE GIFTENING 2019 #THE GIFTENING 2019 admin stuff

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maybe-mythical · 5 years ago

Text

Bleak Creek Conversations NYC

WARNING: THIS POST TALKS IN DEPTH ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED IN THE BLEAK CREEK CONVERSATIONS AND THE BLEAK CREEK DOCUMENTARY

ALRIGHTY so here I go trying to recall as much as I can from last night. It was an incredible experience to get to go and see our boys and even though I didn’t do meet and greet, I was just so happy to share that experience with them. They had had a LONG day - doing a radio show and The Tonight Show beforehand, but their energy never waned, their love for what they do and the mythical beasts consistently shone through, and it was so amazing to see them coming down from such a high together. (Also - it made me feel justified in all the post-major event smutty headcanons we all seem so share)

This may be a lot so...

First of all - the venue. It was right in Times Square - on 43rd street in the theater district. It was really cool to see them essentially on Broadway (Beautiful: The Carole King Story is right across the street). Seating was typical for these theaters - kind of small and uncomfortable but nothing crazy. Loved the stadium seating because even though I was a bit far back (what up, row Q!) I could still see the stage very clearly. Books and small playbill-ish pamphlets were given out at the beginning and everything was all set up. One of the slides that played showed a twitter hashtag that you could use to ask the boys a question that might be used in the show. I’m shy and didn’t but it seemed like a decent amount did!

Town Hall itself is a smaller theater and the merch booth was tucked away in a corner and lines were INSANE. I didn’t even bother trying because things like that stress me out. Also, the only thing they said was a tour exclusive was the hat and I didn’t care for that too much. LOVE the sweatshirt and I will definitely be getting that once they’re selling it in their store.

They walked on stage and the crowd collectively (and understandably) freaked OUT! I mean it was our boys, right in front of us, looking dashing as hell coming from Fallon. There was cheering, a collective swoon, just everything at once. Rhett’s hair was incredible, so long and textured. I really wanted to run up there and run my hands through it, but we know our jealous boy Link wouldn’t love that. In the beginning they just talked about how excited they were for the book and how proud they are that it’s real and out there for everyone to experience. They were impressed that people had already finished reading it and that they were really excited to see all the feedback on twitter/the internet. They kept giving each other looks and smiles the whole intro and my heart just exploded at how proud they were of themselves and each other. There were so many small moments and jokes and innuendo (including Link saying “hard on” thrice). Too many moments to name!

The show pretty much went on with the following pattern: excerpt, documentary clip, Q&A from the twitter hashtag from before, repeat. It was pretty awesome to see and hear and watch them go back and forth in so many different contexts. A particularly funny moment was when the screen first went dark to show the beginning of the documentary, the lights went off above Link, but not Rhett, so he was just sitting there, fully lit up, trying to pretend like he wasn’t. We all just kept chuckling and were distracted from the beginning! It was great though. The first section they talked about on the doc was playing Testikill and they showed them playing it in Rhett’s old bedroom. Then, they read an except from the book of Rex and Lief playing the same game. I recorded most of that (unfortunately I got a phone call during because I forgot to put on do not disturb - so it’s in 2 parts)

Part 1: https://vimeo.com/369955016

Part 2: https://vimeo.com/369955535

Password: mythical

I kind of fell off with taking pictures and videos here because I was so immersed in everything else they were doing. Cliff notes from each section:

Q&A:

Someone asked about how much Rex and Lief was based on them personality trait wise. They talked about how the characters are definitely based on younger them, had been originally named Rhett and Link until it got annoying to say “I do this and then you do that”. They also shared how they think of it as shining light from their 40 year old selves onto their 14 year old selves, which was very sweet.

Someone on the balcony wrote that they dropped an m&m and if the person below them was ok. The seat seemingly below them was empty though. They assured us they would get medical attention if there was a person on the floor after the show.

Someone asked a question that I can’t remember and then wrote tokyo. There was indeed a large “WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT” reaction.

Someone asked what their favorite chapters were. Link ate the question after Rhett’s egging on. I believe it was supposed to be Link interrupting Rhett and being indecisive about answering at first and then just being like “oh I’ll eat it!”. It was cute but felt maybe a little forced? Their favorite chapters though are 11 (Rhett) and 20 (Link)

I’m definitely missing questions but this is all I can remember!

Excerpts:

They read small parts from the prologue, testikill, polterdog, the tree, taking about defying authority, and the talking rocks. All of these parts were directly tied to portions of the documentary.

Documentary:

Polterdog was tied to a part of the doc when they talked about Tucker, Link’s childhood dog. They told the story about burying Tucker and having the small ceremony for him. They also talked about how it rained the next day and they jumped into the grave and even had the muddy pictured of Link to prove it (horrifying lmao).

For the section on the tree they showed them finding “The Tree” next to the creek. They originally looked for the tree, thought they found the tree and then promptly realized it was the wrong tree. It was pretty funny watching them stumble around and bicker while looking for something that was so significant in their childhood. They also talked about how several trees around were actually much bigger than their “The Tree” and how it was funny they never found those. I, personally, am still not convinced that it was the right tree.

When they talked about defying authority, they showed all the places where they got into mischief when they were younger. This included the air conditioner at their church, which Rhett had written “Rhett” into. Their childhood church where they showed how they used to pass notes back and forth and tried to make each other laugh. My favorite part was definitely when they had Stevie pretend to be Rhett’s 5th grade teacher who sat with the choir gave gave them dirty looks. They also showed where they threw rocks off the library?’s roof and tried (but never succeeded) at hitting cars. They showed where they climbed up, and of course there’s now a lock there.

The talking rocks. This one was a doozy. This was what they were ending the show with and boy was it a LOT. They went back to the talking rocks and basically uncovered them. They sat and talked back and forth (somewhat) following the rules of the rocks. They talked about how much they had accomplished. Link talked about how he couldn’t voice at 16 that he didn’t want his best friend to go and be a basketball player in college, he wanted him to make movies with him, but didn’t want to be so selfish as to say it. They talked about how the rocks are where they made their blood oath, where they promised to do something big together, something creative. They reflected on it and how they had accomplished it and did a “renewing of the oath” where they shook hands and talked about continuing to create together. There was a point where Rhett was on one knee and Link just said “What are you proposing to me?”. I sobbed then and I’m sobbing now remembering back to it. On stage they each got on a knee and shook hands. Ugh. If there were tears before there was even more now.

After that overwhelmingly emotional moment, they closed the show. They talked about how privileged they are to be able to have the platform to tell us their stories. That they really feel like this book is their passion and that they’ve put so much into it and are so honored to share it with us. They thanked all the mythical beasts, as they always do, and told us how much we mean to them. They were, simply put, mythical.

#bleak creek conversations #bleak creek nyc #bleak creek #bleak creak documentary #Rhett and Link #randl #bleak creek conversations spoilers #bleak creek documentary spoilers

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entamewitchlulu · 5 years ago

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so i did a reading challenge this year and i wanna talk about what i read

transcription under the cut

i did Popsugar 2019 and wanna talk about what i read: Book Reccs and Anti-Reccs

1.) Becoming a Movie in 2019: Umbrella Academy (vol 1) by Gerard Way and Gabriel Ba

4/5. A fascinating take on superpowers, dysfunctional families, and the apocalypse. Can get pretty gory, confusing here and there and you have to pay close attention to panels for lore, but overall an entertaining romp.

2.) Makes you Feel Nostalgic: Circles in the Stream by Rachel Roberts

4/5. Middle grade novel about the magic of music, belief, and of course, friendship. Definitely written for kids, and has some unfortunately clumsy Native rep, but overall an absolute joy to dive into once again.

3.) Written by a Musician: Umbrella Academy (vol 2) by Gerard Way and Gabriel Ba

4/5. Ramps up the confusion to ridiculous degrees with some absolutely bonkers, unexplained arcs, but still fun to watch this dysfunctional family do its dysfunctional thing.

4.) You Think Should be Turned into a movie: All That Glitters by Rachel Roberts

4/5. Continuation of Circles in the Stream, but with more unicorns, more rainbows, and more fae, which makes it automatically even better than the first.

5.) With At Least 1 Mil. Ratings on Goodreads: 1984 by George Orwell

1/5. I understand why it's important and all but wasn't prepared for some of the more graphic scenes and the overall hopelessness of the message. Would not recommend or read again.

6.) W/ a Plant in the title or cover: The secret of Dreadwillow carse by Brian farrey

5/5. A fantasy world where everyone is always happy, save for one girl and the princess, who set out to solve the mystery of their kingdom. Poignant and great for kids and adults.

7.) Reread of a favorite: Cry of the Wolf by Rachel Roberts

4/5. Yet another installment in the Avalon: Web of Magic series, which clearly I am obsessed with. Please just read them.

8.) About a Hobby: Welcome to the Writer's Life by Paulette Perhach

5/5. A welcome kick in the pants, chock full of great advice told without condescension, and full of hope and inspiration for writers both new and old.

9.) Meant to read in 2018: The Poet x by Elizabeth Acevedo

4/5. Absolutely beautiful coming of age novel told in verse. Do yourself a favor and listen to the audiobook version.

10.) w/ "pop," "sugar," or "challenge" in the title: Black Sugar by Miguel Bonnefoy

2/5. I think maybe I just don't understand this genre. Or maybe the translation was weird. I was confused.

11.) w/ An Item of Clothing or Accessory on the cover: Our dreams at Dusk by Yuhki Kamatani

4/5. It had a lot more slurs/homophobia than I was prepared for, but otherwise is a very touching, relatable collection of queer characters living in a heteronormative world.

12.) Inspired by Mythology or Folklore: Ravenous by MarcyKate Connolly

3/5. A girl goes on an impossible quest to save her brother from a child-eating witch. Really wanted to like it more because I loved the first one, Monstrous, but it dragged a little.

13.) Published Posthumously: The Islands of Chaldea by Diana Wynne Jones

3/5. I adore Diana Wynne Jones, but this one was missing some of the magic of her other books. Not sure if it was because it had to be finished by someone else, or if I just grew out of her stories.

14.) Set in Space: Binti by Nnedi Okorafor

4/5. Powerfully written story of a girl straddling tradition and innovation, who wields power through mathematical magic, surviving on a spaceship alone with a dangerous alien occupation after everyone else has been killed.

15.) By 2 Female Authors: Burn for Burn by Jenny Han and Siobhan Vivian

2/5. Ostensibly a story about a revenge pact in a small island town, but leaves far too many dangling threads to attempt alluring you to the sequel.

16.) W/ A Title containing "salty," "bitter," "Sweet," or "Spicy": The Price of Salt by Patricia Highsmith

3/5. It's okay but I literally just never know what anyone means at any time. Are they being reticent on purpose or do i just not understand communication

17.) Set in scandinavia: Vinland Saga by Makoto Yukimura

2/5. Technically and historically accurate and well made, but the story itself is not my cup of tea. Very gory.

18.) Takes Place in a Single Day: Long WAy Down by Jason Reynolds

4/5. A boy goes to avenge his murdered brother, but ghostly passengers join him on the elevator ride down. Stunning and powerful character-driven analysis.

19.) Debut Novel: Nimona by Noelle Stevenson

4/5. Charming and then surprisingly heart-breaking comic about Nimona, a shapeshifter who wants to become a villain's minion. Really love the villain/hero dynamic going on in the background, along with the dysfunctional found family.

20.) Published in 2019: The Book of Pride by Mason Funk

4/5. A collection of interviews with the movers, shakers, and pioneers of the queer and LGBTQ+ community. An absolutely essential work for community members and allies alike.

21.) Featuring an extinct/imaginary creature: Phoebe and her Unicorn by Dana Simpson

4/5. Incredibly charming, Calvin and Hobbes-esque collection of comics featuring the adventures of Phoebe and her unicorn best friend.

22.) Recced by a celebrity you admire: The Emerald Circus by Jane Yolen

2/5. Recced by my fave author Brandon Sanderson. An unfortunately disappointing anthology proving that any story can be made uninteresting by telling the wrong section of it.

23.) With "Love" in the Title: Book Love by Debbie Tung

4/5. One of those relatable webcomics, only this one I felt super hard almost the entire time. Books are awesome and libraries rule.

24.) Featuring an amateur detective: Nancy Drew: Palace of Wisdom by Kelly Thompson

4/5. REALLY love this modern take on Nancy Drew, coming back home to her roots to solve a brand new mystery. Diverse cast and lovely artwork, though definitely more adult.

25.) About a family: Amulet by Kabu Kibuishi

4/5. Excellent, top tier graphic novel about a sister and brother who have to go rescue their mother with a mysterious magic stone. LOVE that the mom gets to be involved in the adventure for once.

26.) by an author from asia, Africa, or s. America: Girls' Last tour by Tsukumizu

4/5. Somehow both light-hearted and melancholy. Two girls travel about an empty, post-apocalyptic world, and muse about life and their next meal.

27.) w/ a Zodiac or astrology term in title: Drawing down the moon by margot adler

3/5. A good starting place for anyone interested in the Neo Pagan movement, but didn't really give me what I was personally looking for.

28.) you see someone reading in a tv show or movie: The Promised NEverland by Kaiu Shirai

4/5. I don't watch TV or movies where people read books so i think reading an adaptation of a TV series after watching the series counts. Anyway it was good but beware racist caricatures

29.) A retelling of a classic: Meg, Jo, Beth, and Amy by Rey Terciero

5/5. We can stop the Little Women reboots and retellings now, this is the only one we need. In fact, we can toss out the original too, this is the only one necessary.

30.) w/ a question in the title: So I'm a spider, so what? by Asahiro Kakashi

4/5. Cute art despite the subject matter, and a surprisingly enthralling take on the isekai genre. Love the doubling down on the video game skills.

31.) Set in a college or university campus: Moonstruck (vol 2) by Grace Ellis

2/5. An incredibly cute, beautiful, and fascinating world of modern magic and creatures, but unfortunately falls apart at the plot and pacing.

32.) About someone with a superpower: Moonstruck (vol 1) by Grace Ellis

4/5. Though nearly as messy plot-wise as its sequel, the first volume is overwhelmingly charming in a way that overpowers the more confusing plot elements.

33.) told from multiple povs: The Long way to a Small, Angry Planet by becky Chambers

4/5. Told almost in a serial format, like watching a miniseries, a group of found-family spaceship crew members make the long journey to their biggest job ever.

34.) Includes a wedding: We Set the dark on fire by Tehlor kay mejia

4/5. Timely and poignant, a girl tumbles into both love and resistance after becoming one of two wives to one of the most powerful men in the country.

35.) by an author w/ alliterative name: The only harmless great Thing by brooke bolander

3/5. Much deeper than I can currently comprehend. Beautifully written, but difficult to parse.

36.) A ghost story: Her body and other parties by Carmen Maria Machado

4/5. It counts because one of the stories in it has ghosts. A sometimes difficult collection of surrealist, feminist, queer short stories.

37.) W/ a 2 word title: Good omens by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman

4/5. Charming, touching, and comical, probably the best take on the apocalypse to date. Also excellent ruminations on religion and purpose.

38.) based on a true story: The faithful Spy by John Hendrix

4/5. Brilliantly crafted graphic biography of Dietrich Bonhoeffer, and his assistance in fighting back against Nazi Germany.

39.) Revolving around a puzzle or game: the Crossover by Kwame alexander

4/5. The verse didn't always hit right with me, but the story is a sweet, melancholy one about family, loss, and moving on.

40.) previous popsugar prompt (animal in title): The last unicorn by peter s. Beagle

5/5. Absolutely one of my all-time favorite books, it manages to perfectly combine anachronism and comedy with lyricism, melancholy, and ethereal beauty.

41.) Cli-fi: Tokyo Mew Mew by Mia ikumi and Reiko Yoshida

4/5. Shut up it counts

42.) Choose-your-own-adventure: My Lady's choosing by Kitty curran

3/5. Cute in concept, a bit underwhelming in execution. Honestly, just play an otome.

43.) "Own Voices": Home by Nnedi Okorafor

3/5. The storytelling style was definitely not my style; while the first book was slow, too, it felt more purposeful. I found my attention wandering during this installment.

44.) During the season it's set in: Pumpkinheads by rainbow rowell

3/5. Cute art, but precious little substance. The concept simply wasn't for me in the first place.

45.) LITRPG: My next life as a villainess: All routes lead to doom! by Hidaka nami

5/5. An absolute insta-fave! Charming art, endearing characters, an incredible premise, and so much sweet wholesome fluff it'll give you cavities.

46.) No chapters: The field guide to dumb birds of north america by matt kracht

3/5. It started out super strong, but the joke started to wear thin at a little past the halfway point.

47.) 2 books with the same title: Unfollow by Megan Phelps-Roger

4/5. A brave and enduring personal story of growing up in and eventually leaving the Westboro Baptist Church. Really called to me to act with grace and kindness even more in the future.

48.) 2 books with the same title: unfollow by rob williams and michael dowling

1/5. How many times do you think we can make Battle Royale again before someone notices

49.) That has inspired a common phrase or idiom: THe Outsiders by S.E. Hinton

4/5. Definitely good and deserves it's praise as something that pretty much revolutionized and created an entire demographic of literature.

50.) Set in an abbey, cloister, Monastery, convent, or vicarage: Murder at the vicarage by agatha christie

3/5. I just cannot. physically keep up with all of these characters or find the energy to read between the lines.

ok that's all i got, what did y'all read and like this year? (oh god it’s gonna be 2020)

#book reccs #lulu booktalks

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lovestillaround · 5 years ago

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Thoughts about Phil’s last video (Draw My Life: Part 2)

So, it’s been two days and I still have trouble processing all the information from Phil’s newest video - that’s why I’m writing my thoughts down, hoping that it will give me more inner peace. Disclaimer: following text includes critique of the video, so if you’re sensitive to that kind of stuff/ not in the mood for hearing my negative opinions, please proceed with caution or stop reading. Love ya <3

So, Phil starts the video saying that he’s aware that we know what’s been mostly going on in his life during the last six years and that he’s gonna share with us all the behind the scenes facts. And that on itself is fine, but oh boy, nothing would prepare me for the amount of negativity that I was going to endure (and no, I’m not talking about the subjects of death and illness). I said it to my friend and I still stand by that opinion - the video was for me more like “20 minutes of complaining about/listing every bad thing that happened in my life” than actual “draw my life”. And well, obviously Phil has the right to reflect on his life in whatever way he wants, but as I was watching the video, I couldn’t help getting more and more frustrated with his lack of awareness, especially regarding the massive privilege that he has and has always had. (Also, I’m not trying to call him out for being rich and being able to afford things that I can’t afford - that’s not at all what this is about, it’s about the attitude and the way he chose to speak about those things).

While I do think that the video was full of lovely and cute moments, I’m going to focus mainly on what I found annoying or upsetting, just to keep it (relatively) short. So, I was talking about how in my opinion the video was filled with negativity. You might ask - where is it, Daria? Or more importantly - why is it bad? The response to the video is (at least from what I saw) overwhelmingly positive. Well, I’ll try to explain how I see it.

The video literally starts with Phil saying that London was (is?) 5x more expensive than Manchester, and that if their career in London didn’t work out, they would have had to move back to their parents. I have enough compassion to understand that it must have been hard for them to feel insecure about their finances (I know this feeling damn too well) - but I also think that people should, idk, be generally aware that their actions have consequences? They took a risk, and it was hard to live in uncertainty - I get that - but people having to live with their parents is a reality for so many people! So many young people don’t even get a chance to start an independent life, for various reasons. And I’m not saying that he doesn’t have the right to talk about his struggles - just for me, in the light of the rest of the video that is played on a similar note, it becomes clear that Phil isn’t aware of how much luck he’s had in life and how he has already started his life from a much better position than - can I say that? - probably the majority of people. So for me, what lacks in the video is, idk, maybe just one instance where he acknowledges his privilege? Or just generally him using a different language while talking about his experience, choosing his words more carefully, but I’ll get to that later.

The negativity continues when Phil talks about how he could not work out how to operate the radio control panel, how it was a bad decision to say yes to everything (although I admit, this one is just Phil acknowledging sth that he has learned over the years, which isn’t really negative but let’s still keep it on the list of bad things), anxiety, lack of sleep, stress, juggling responsibilities, people that they used to work with getting more from dnp than dnp did from them, dnp doing things out of obligation, not being able to fully create things how they wanted to, people being cynical about youtubers doing projects/not understanding youtube and media’s negative reactions, loads of office work, risking all their life savings to go on tour, heteronormativity of the interviewers, lots of work related to creating gaming channel videos, overworking themselves during gamingmas, frustration with people not realising how much work happens behind the scenes, people cancelling projects, losing money because of Manila.

On the other hand, the positives that Phil talked about were getting job at the radio, getting 1 million subs, interviewing people being a cool thing, everything about his relationship with family was very positive, getting a new team of people to work with and dropping some responsibilities like the radio show, success of the books and tours and games they created, creative freedom, positive relationship with his audience, improvement of the press over the years and people in traditional businesses becoming aware of what youtube is, creating and expanding irl merch, having fun on tour.

Then comes the moment when I got genuinely quite confused, aka the moment when Phil talks about not having a life. Like.... really? He has every right to feel what he feels but honestly, not that many people would count themselves lucky enough to be in a long term relationship, having a loving family, four friends that want to hang out with them, going out to dinner dates and cinemas on the regular, regularly going on vacations, being able to take private yoga or boxing lessons etc.

When I heard him saying “and I didn’t do any normal stuff people do, like getting a house or a dog”, that’s the point when I’ve lost all my hope. Like, I’m sorry Phil, but are you really gonna complain about not having time to get a house because of the life choices that you’ve made? Just… think about it. I’m not an expert on the standard of life in the UK but I personally can think of exactly zero people that I know who bought a house in their 20s. And I have to say, it’s upsetting that he seems to be so detached from what is the reality for many many people.

Sharing personal stuff on the internet requires courage and I don’t want to be the one who takes all this knowledge and uses it against him. But I’m genuinely upset with the way he handled things this time. As I was watching the video for the first time, at the end of it all I could think was - wow, you’re really that entitled, aren’t you?

And it makes me sad, because I see two possible reasons for him being like that:

a) He is not in the best place mentally, so that he can only really focus rn on the negative aspects of his life, regretting his past choices, being disappointed in how his personal life looks like. This could be supported the fact that for basically any major thing that happened in his life he decided to share with us and elaborate mostly the negative details attached to it, rarely the positive ones (see the list of positive and negative things that I included above).

b) He is completely unaware of what’s the average threshold for a “good quality life”, and he’s not aware of his own privilege.

To elaborate a bit more on the point b): one could see Phil’s video as maybe a reminder that everything comes with a prize and that even though a youtuber’s life might seem super easy, there’s still a lot of stress and work involved that we just don’t see. But… I’ve been aware of that. Nobody’s life is one-dimensional, and everyone has struggles. And of course they have to edit their videos and do the business stuff. But when Phil says how he sometimes wishes people were aware of his personal struggles, I can only think that this is the reality for many many people, not only celebrities on the internet. Idk, maybe I just wasn’t the target of this whole segment in the first place, but for me it sounds borderline patronising, and again, entitled, because as I mentioned, everyone has their own struggles.

But for me, Phil doesn’t seem to be aware that he was only able to make some of the life choices that he’s made because he already had a good start in life in the first place. He’s always had a safety net in form of his parents, so he could make a choice of risking everything and moving to London for example. And yes, coming back home and asking his parents for money could have been embarrassing for him and emotionally hard, but so many people could not take such risk, or any risk, in general! Because they have families that they need to take care of. Because they have not enough money to move to an expensive city, no matter the circumstances. Because they have no one left who would help them financially if something went wrong. And so many other reasons!

On one hand, I can empathise with his frustration. I know how it is to work my ass off just to be able to go to uni, while many people that I know get money from their parents, go to a couple of lectures and then party/do nothing really. And then having other people thinking that everything is easy for me because idk I’ve always had good grades so according to them I don’t need to work as hard. Is it frustrating? Yeah. It’s hard to be misunderstood, or having your work belittled. But I would never blame other people for not being aware of how much work comes with the lifestyle that I’ve chosen. And I’m aware that dnp were working their asses off to create good things for us, but also, obviously, they were hoping to make financial profit out of it. It might sound awful but they did not have to do most of those things. In many instances, they totally did not have to overwork themselves, because it was not like they were making money to survive, they were making money just to make more money, basically. Nothing evil in wanting to make money but honestly Phil, most people work super hard, and they don’t get millions for it. While I do acknowledge that they’ve been working hard, and that a part of their audience might have not been aware of that, I think that complaining about that seems quite… inconsiderate? Complaining about the lack of private life seems inconsiderate too, especially because most people aren’t privileged enough to just decide to put their work aside and focus on their private life whenever they want. Many people I know are overworking themselves too, simply because they don’t have another choice.

So, I’m quite upset. I don’t know what my point is. It seems to me like in that video Phil comes from a place of deep frustration, and well, I’m frustrated too. Fair game, I guess?

I want them to have a good life. I want them to do whatever the hell they need to do in order to be happy, I want them to get a goddamn dog and a house. But I also hope they’ll continue to grow, and that maybe next time Phil will be more considerate, and more careful with words.

#amazingphil #phil lester #dnp #phan #ramble

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cumulohimbus · 6 years ago

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100 things I want to do in my lifetime

So, I had a really good conversation today with friends, and I opened up briefly about my stay in a psych ward a few years ago. It came up because I am acutely aware that I haven't been doing well, and am scared to return to a situation anything like my previous stay at said ward despite knowing that being hospitalized would probably be very beneficial at this time in my life. Talking about it did make me remember something though, something that gave me a lot of hope. While my experience with a psych ward was overwhelmingly negative, there was a part of treatment that really got through to me at the time. It especially helped with my suicidal ideation, which is something that's been really problematic for me again lately. Since I remembered it, I'm going to revisit the exercise, and I encourage anyone and everyone who also struggles with suicidal thoughts, thoughts of self harm, mental health issues, or even if you're just having a bad day, to give this a try. It's simple. Make a list of 100 things you want to do in your life. They can be as realistic or unrealistic as you want them to be. They can be big, long-term goals, or small, silly goals, and everything in between. The only rules are to write 100 things, and to avoid sarcastic or pessimistic things like saying one of your goals is to die or something like that. Save the list! Then someday you can go back and cross off things that you've accomplished or edit as you see necessary. Without further ado, here is my list:

1. I want to get my name legally changed to Larkspur Emmett so my dead name is no more

2. I want to get top surgery

3. I want to rekindle relationships within my family, especially with my cousins

4. I want to get scuba certified

5. I want to dive over the "sunken island" location on the lake my family had a cabin on that I visited frequently while growing up

6. I want to go diving in general, seeing a coral reef in person is an especially huge dream of mine

7. I want to rekindle my knowledge of the Spanish language and eventually become fluent

8. I want to continue learning American Sign Language

9. I want to learn more about my ancestry; I know I'm a vast mix of probably mostly European blood, but my family comes from so many different places and I'd like to know more about them

10. I want to finish the art commission I started for my close friend

11. I want to travel to places like Costa Rica, Japan, Chile, and Australia

12. I want to go on exotic travel adventures with a future romantic partner or close friend

13. I want to get my Bachelor's degree

14. I want to earn enough money to live comfortably, probably with pets

15. I want to adopt a pembroke welsh corgi

16. I want to beat my eating disorder(s) for good and be able to stop taking medication to help if at all possible

17. I want to go ziplining

18. I want to go skydiving

19. I want to hike through the Monteverde biological cloud forest reserve in Costa Rica

20. I want to develop a drag persona and perform as my persona on a regular basis

21. I want to make a fursuit (yes I said it, fite me)

22. I want to finish an entire animated music video

23. I want to learn more about plants and successfully keep one alive for longer than a year

24. I want to try my hand at raising an ant colony

25. I want to go swimming more often

26. I want to learn more martial arts

27. I want to learn to be a leader in my community

28. I want to work harder in my college classes

29. I want to learn to not fear loneliness and abandonment, and to appreciate my alone time

30. I want to get (many) more self-designed tattoos

31. I want to continue learning how to appreciate my body without caring about other people's opinions on what is considered "attractive"

32. I want to eat more whole foods both because they're healthy for me and taste far better than anything with chemicals in it

33. I want to meet a few famous people in person, can't think of many off the top of my head though, but I know there are a couple

34. I want to take dance classes again

35. I want to learn how to play a musical instrument (I mean, I took 7 years of piano and can kinda read music, but I wanna learn an instrument that's better suited for short fingers lolol, maybe french horn?)

36. I want to finish the paintings I've started

37. I want to learn how to digitally render things realistically

38. I want to finish the fanfiction piece I started a couple years ago

39. I want to become more patient and less envious

40. I want to heccing fly, okay?

41. I want to feel like relaxation is deserved and expected, and not a luxury only for those who can afford it

42. I want to reassemble an animal skeleton

43. I want to dig up a fossil (specifically of some sort of mesozoic creature, that'd be so cool)

44. I want to get back to using my planner

45. I want to play more (board, card, video, etc.) games with my friends

46. I want to disassociate less and be present in the real world more often

47. I want to be more informed about what is going on both in general, but especially in my more immediate environment

48. I want to take up better drawing habits (more life drawing, warm ups, breaks, etc.)

49. I want to try a real goddamn piña colada, bonus points if it's on the beach

50. I want to try existing in a portable living situation, like a renovated bus or van, for a while

51. I want to learn basic wilderness survival skills

52. I want to learn how to identify many different species of all types of organisms, especially plants and animals

53. I want to get my vehicle fixed up nice and maybe hand paint some things on it

54. I want to learn more about different cultures because they're fascinating and I want to be as respectful of all people as I possibly can be

55. I want to paint the waterfall jungle mural of my dreams in my future house

56. I want to gain better control of my emotions and my responses to them

57. I want to fabricate a working pair of wings for human beings

58. I want to learn/do more embroidery

59. I want to get a cerulean blue Corvette stingray

60. I want to get better about not procrastinating

61. I want to go to more events/be more involved wherever I am

62. I want to go for more walks to places I haven't been to before, bonus points if it's in the middle of the night and/or in the rain

63. I want to do things like play in inflatable obstacle courses and ride on roller coasters without caring about whether other people judge me for doing those things as an adult

64. I want to regain the physical strength I have lost from being sedentary while my mental health has been at its lowest

65. I want to spend more time laying in the sunshine, preferably with the bare minimum of clothes on because I enjoy the warmth on my skin

66. I want to cuddle more with others that feel comfortable enough to participate in that with me

67. I want to learn more about the fabrication of clothing and design/make some outfits for myself

68. I want to cosplay, maybe go to a convention sometime

69. I want to go skinny dipping >:3 (look, it's number 69 on the list, okay?)

70. I want to try all sorts of foods I've never had before

71. I want to see a butterfly leaving its cocoon in real life again

72. I want to read more of the books I own

73. I want to be kissed by someone again...it's been over 4 years...

74. I want to eliminate my habit of requiring a Youtube gaming playlist to be playing in order for me to fall asleep

75. I want to learn more about the history of the lgbtqia2s+ community

76. I want to learn how to cook for myself better, and like, actually use those skills on a regular basis

77. I want to learn how to take care of my vehicle better on my own, like how to change a tire and such

78. I want to learn to communicate better, and just, in general how to be the best friend I can be

79. I want to stop using all substances for the purpose of drowning out my surroundings and messing with my temporal senses, if I'm going to drink/smoke/get high/whatever, I want it to be because I want to for fun, not because I want the chemicals to take the edge off my mental illness(es)

80. I want to start taking better care of my dental hygiene

81. I want to learn more about my legal rights and finances and other "adult" stuff that doesn't really get taught to you unless you specifically go looking for it

82. You know the somewhat obnoxious game Bop It? Yeah, I want one of those again, keeps me entertained for a long time

83. I want to design more things in general, more characters and their outfits and personalities and the worlds they live in, I enjoy that

84. I want to spend more time outdoors with my friends, watch sunsets and collect miscellaneous objects from the universe and such

85. I want to teach someone something, sit down and maybe teach someone how I draw or about something that I am at least somewhat knowledgeable about

86. I want to go to more aquariums; if/when I travel more I want to go to every aquarium I come across

87. I want to start a legit collection of something and like, build it up over a long period of time so it gets pretty impressive

88. I want to get my eyes surgically corrected so I don't have to wear glasses or fiddle with contacts

89. I want to learn more about Greek and Latin roots and just words and symbolism in general

90. I want to lose the embarrassment I have about my hyperfixations because I deserve to not feel ashamed of the things that bring me satisfaction and joy, and it's okay if other people don't share my enthusiasm about such things, I just want to learn to not be embarrassed that I like stuff

91. I want to get over my fears/discomfort re: nudity, especially for life drawing classes; see, it's one thing to see someone nude and divert my eyes but for life drawing I'm kinda forced to look...

92. I want to understand myself better and learn to love me instead of the opposite; I want to be full of love for the beautiful people around me and I want to really solidify in my brain that I am one of those beautiful people

93. I want to do more things for others that are meaningful because that makes me happy, and I want to learn to do those things while also respecting everyone's, including my own, boundaries

94. I want to develop a sleep schedule that is healthy and appropriate, and that I'm able to maintain

95. I want to run in the rain more often and jump in puddles (edit: while typing this it started storming out and I had to run outside in my bunny pajama short-shorts, winter boots, and a sweatshirt, to grab my box of silly plant seed experiments before they blew away, so progress is already being made)

96. I want to get over my intense fear of making phone calls

97. I want to learn how to sing better with my new and improved deeper voice from being on Testosterone

98. I want to get my first tattoo fixed up and hopefully renew the meaning it had to me at the time that I got it -- I want to try to keep that promise

99. I want to spend more time actively working on improving my mental health

100. I want to see more, I want to learn more, I want to do more, I want to be the version of myself that is genuinely amazed and curious by all manner of things, and I know that part of me is still there

And now, once you've finished your list, you have 100 reasons to not give up, because there's no way of knowing what you're capable of doing if you don't exist to try.

#long post #for future reference #silver writes #mental health things #but positive #100 things i want to do #i'll add a keep reading thing later #can't figure out how to do that on mobile

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