#which is known to fire me
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also sucks so bad coming to the same realization over and over
#i think one thing people don’t mention about emotional regulation#and learning how to pace yourself#is when you have to say know to doing things you rlly wanna do#because it would be too tiring. do you know what i mean#like yes i want to go to this store with you and get lunch and go to another store even tho i need to also need to go shopping later#which is known to fire me#you have to learn to say know to tiring stuff even tho u rlly wanna do it#if it means saving your energy and lowering the risk of a melt down#it just sucks so fucking bad knowing that i’m chronically like this#i will always not beable to do as much even when i want to#i will always struggle with my energy and being able to do more then one activity a day#it’s genuinely disheartening#i’m so tired. i took a nap after i cried and then i went to the store at 10 pm lol#idk why we did it was just kinda on a whim#idk how i had the energy but i did#ok. i’m gunna sleep now#i’m hoping i can get my meds and get my mood under control#gn
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Tried to do the Gray Cats Blue Eyes challenge and just ended up drawing The Buddies lmaoo
Cinderpelt and Littlecloud is everything to me. the bond between a girl and her offputting ShadowClan bestie is a very special thing
#fennelposting#Willie_Nelson_Love_You_Until_The_Day_I_Die.mp3#it's about the way cinder died SO young... but she would always be his best friend. the best friend he ever had#And she died just after getting to the lake. When everything was new#Little shared his leeches with her after Spotty's died in the fire along with Yellow#Cinder saved his life when the plague nearly killed him#They worked on a device for Wildfur together#Traveled into the unknown away from the only home they'd ever known#And then she was gone. There was no way of ever knowing that the last time he saw her would be the last#All of that in the brief window of time in which they knew each other#it KILLS ME#better bones au
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Shez participating in Faerghus customs!! And celebrations!!
#I just think he also deserves to own a nice heavy furry and warm cloak!!#okay HCs#Faerghus to me is primarily Celtic inspired#mainly Irish/Scottish & Welsh#I know the picts were the ones who were known to wear blue woad but I think??? the welsh did it as well#I’m gonna have to brush up on that research#I also tend to blend some Norse in there as well#primarily the runes you see on Dimitri and Lambert#they’re both sporting the rune that represents the Norse god Tyr#and you can’t tell on Rodrigue but he’s also sporting a rune on his forehead#the rune algiz#which represents the elk and has various meanings but primarily protection#but other than that the markings are primarily picts#Dimitri and Lambert are more decorated because they’re the royals#I need to make a proper post about this one day#but other than that!!#have this#:: my art#fe3h#fire emblem three houses#fire emblem#lambert egitte blaiddyd#dimitri alexandre blaiddyd#rodrigue achille fraldarius#shez#shez fire emblem#fe shez
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PLEASE DO NOT TAG AS YOUR OWN OC.
Rafael is driven by his independence and his anger, fighting for what he believes in and deems right to free his people and return peace to Medici. But his tendency to push people away blurs the lines between selflessness and self-destruction, and his desperation for control greatly overshadows the true lack thereof— and it has turned his spark into an all-consuming forest fire, with no way to douse the flames. And everything burned, as promised. OC WEB WEAVE SERIES: RAFAEL RODRIGUEZ.
richard kadrey, aloha from hell // by eyedeeuhs // firestarter; torre florim // by gundula blumi // savannah brown, from 'closer baby closer' // leach; bones uk // ocean vuong, from 'to my father / to my future son' // by ysociety // maybe, i; des rocs // victoria chang, to love anyone // 'smoke and fire 1' by jennifer walton // burn; vorsa // vita sackville-west, from 'solitude' // by spelio // arsonist's lullabye; hozier // shira erlichman, from 'how to become a forest fire'
#jc3#edit:rafael#nuclearocs#nuclearedits#oc web weaves#no taglist i just want to have this on mein blog. starting a new tag for it as well to get them organized and all#previous weaves have all been for pairings so ummm. yeas. that's different those will just go in the normal edit tag. trust me#my tagging system is normal and i'm normal. if you see this. hi. welcome#this web weave from top to bottom kind of reads like rafael's descent into his own destruction#establishing him as who he is- a firestarter. someone who goes against authority (for good reasons bc he lives in a dictatorship)#someone who fights for freedom but at the same time he's so full of rage and he holds a grudge against someone else in the story#which just. consumes him. he gets too caught up in his desire for control and he loses all his control with it to the point he burns#and he burns and he burns and he burns until there's nothing left... and then the web weave ends with establishing that he's always known#'i knew that something would always rule me / i knew the scent was mine alone' followed by 'everything burned as promised'#this was always meant to happen!! there was no other way for this story to end!! everything burned and everything rafael did#led up to it in the end. there was nothing he could've done to stop any of it because he started it. he started the fire#and it burned along with him. and i'm normal about that. ok bye
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Have you ever thought about hypothetically pairing up a Sansa from one fic with a Jon from another?
I randomly thought about how fun Across The Universe!Sansa and Bachelor Fic/Soccer Player!Jon could be together. I think if they started dating, social media would stop functioning. The Northern economy and Winterfell tourism would be booming. This would also work with Popstar!Sansa or former child star!Sansa and Take Me Out!Jon (can you tell I'm craving a Hollywood AU where they're both famous? Lmao)
In a practical sense, Help Me Out Of The Shape I'm In!Sansa and Jon from the Kidnapping fic would be great together, I feel like. He could help figure out the truth about her parents and possibly how to deal with the Lannisters and she wouldn't have all that baggage that comes with being a royal.
But if i'm thinking of what would be the most fun dynamic for ME, then its Help Me Out!Sansa and I'm on Fire!Jon. Girl whose parents were tragically murdered becomes Fake Psychic to help her figure out their death meets traumatised writer who became an escort to take care of his great uncle. She also seems a bit tougher and his life is pretty stable so they could balance each other out.
Sansa in the Cult fic is a DOer, put her in Help Me Out!/Frozen Pines/any of the thriller or mystery fics and she'll figure out whatever is going on - moms are built different, I swear.
Tinder fic!Jon and Trojan Horse!Sansa could bond over doing fucked up shit and hurting people they didn't mean to hurt while they were in college :(
That is super interesting, anon, but I have to say - I don't really think about this! Each story/each pairing is (in my mind) made for each other in that specific scenario. Across the Universe Sansa wouldn't take Bachelor Jon seriously, because she would assume he's "like all the others" and never give him a chance to prove himself. She's too jaded, and part of why she clings to AtU Jon is because he isn't famous.
I think adding kids to the mix immediately changes the dynamic. Like yeah, cult fic Sansa would have been a lot more vocal about getting the fuck out of there in Frozen Pines, because she either has the kids with her, or needs to get back to them. Although I think mother!Sansa would not have pursued her parent's death in Help Me Out, because she wouldn't put the kids at risk for her own closure/unlikely justice
I also think the different genres stop me from seeing it. Help Me Out Sansa is so jaded because it's a noir, in a way I'm on Fire Jon isn't, because it's a romcom with a heavy splash of trauma.
What I'm getting from this is that I need to write a fic where they're both famous :)
#cellsshapedlikeasks#it is interesting#that i've never written a fic where they're both famous#i guess because celebrity/fame is kind of abhorrent to me lol#like I can't fathom why anyone would WANT fame#and I can only see the negative sides to it#which is why Jon is always reluctantly famous (an athlete)#and Sansa is always formerly famous/disgraced#i guess maybe I'm on Fire they were both sort of famous?#not really#but like known to tabloids and them dating was a Thing#but the fic was absolutely not focused on that so I don't think it counts#look ma#i'm rambling in the tags again
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#VENT#VENT TAGS AHEAD !!#so the job is...awful.#i applied for 20-25 hours#they asked if i could do 30#and now theyre pushing me into 40.#i didn't realize that when i agreed to 30 that was NOT binding (i should have known because it wasn't in my job offer. but i am 19 and--#ive never had a job offer letter before. even tho this is just retail)#and i can't adjust my availability for 90 days.#and since i put full availability expecting 25 hours max#now i have FULL 24/7 AVAILABILITY ON FILE for three months at least#and i have no idea what to do because this means i cant commit to any classes coming up for college#but ive been job hubting for months and barely got anything#and if i lose the job i have to move back in with my dad which is almost worse#whats wirse is my leader/boss is so mean. im not saying this lightly#i dont want to get into it but im barely a week in and he's made disrespectful and pushy comments towards me#has basically told me to stay late (which theoretically i cluld say no; but im still on my three months of 'we will fire you if we want to'#and like i said. need the job.#so he told me to stay late knowing i cant really say no#he's given me a frankly absurd amount of work (instock and i get carts filled woth 2-3x their max capacity unorganized and dangerously--#overloaded) and then he pushes me and snaps at me to get it done in an absurdly short timeframe while im still in TRAINING#im afab and present femme as i haven't transitioned irl and he is so ragingly sexist#he often just refers to me and the other girl being trained as 'girl' or 'that girl#and to top it all off#i took this job over a second interview at a place i really liked#because i thought the hours at this olace would be more consistent#nope! full time! surprise!!#and now im kicking myself so fucking hard over it. i feel like i fucked up so hard#and my friend i moved here with has been home for two months and will be this month so im just. alone. and i don't really have anyone to#turn to. im just so very stressed and tired and lonely
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after almost 9 years of me playing this game, ive finally beaten Fire Emblem: Awakening
ALSO LOOK AT HIS FUCKING CLASS LIST WHAT THE FUCK??
gonna be long as hell once hes promoted too like this is just him out of the box from his paralogue im excited
#ann plays awakening#fe inigo#let it be known mister inigo girlfriend fire emblem is what keeps me on this game fr#greatest day of my life#except im… not actually gonna leave him in this class 😭#not for now anyways#im still using olivia and im not sure if theres a dancer limit#but even if theres not i really dont think i need 2 dancers#and i wanna take him through pegasus knight and lord first#but once i reclass olivia out of dancer he’ll take her place :) itll be cute#lucina also gets dancer though which i kinda wanna try?#and uh. just between you and me. shes kind of the worse unit rn… she missed the last few str levels… 😬
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(NOT ATSV) my ideal miguel and miles friendship (bordering on enemies) dynamic is where Miles is sort of a Mean Girls figure where he’ll say the worst things to Miguel, who actually has no problems dishing that shit right back out, is usually too fed up or somewhere else mentally to reply. They fight a lot, more physically than verbally, usually in a slapstick comedy type of way. Miles is banned from Nueva York once a month and got a restraining order against Miguel in his own dimension. His parents fucking hate him and Miguel hates them right back. Rio has tried and failed to poison him via food and Jeff is considering hiring a hitman. Gabriel is beloved by them. Miles takes Miguel’s money at least twice a week to go spend it just because he can. Miguel has tried (and succeeded once) to get Miles sick with a future illness because he figured out the lesbian bar Miguel liked to perform at in drag. Miles has cried at least once in every room of Miguel’s apartment and Miguel has been confused on what to do each time besides an awkward hug and pat on the back. People are rightfully worried for Miles’s safety at least 80% of the time but when they aren’t they’re shaking their heads at the two’s antics. They need to be separated until they have a healthy “this is a grown ass man / this is stupid little girl i don’t like at work” relationship and it’ll take an act of god for either of them to realize their current one isn’t healthy at all and has extremely negative impacts on their mental state.
#i wanna write this so badly bc like . this type of relationship with adults as a kid when you can’t 100% trsut them and place your safety +#in their hands is sooo interesting to write esp considering Miguel’s past and what Miles is used to#which is dangerous fights from adults (his villains) but also the loving ones like his parents his neighbors ripeter and peter b etc#and this miguel (imo) wouldn’t hurt miles on purpose because he knows the pain BUT he also doesn’t realize some shit is pain-causing both+#mentally and physically bc yknow some abused kids grow into adults who subconsciously do similar shit#and for Miles and Miguel to finally realize beating the shit out of each other almost constantly and the negative back and forth (if miguel#feels like talking that day) is just. not a good thing#it’s sort of like the way i write pavitr and miles’s relationship regarding their fighting because it’s genuinely helpful but#can seem borderline awful and physically abusive to each other#peter b is so fucking worried sometimes bc he sees Miguel in a completely different way than other people. like he’s off in lala land#like. he’ll see this 15 year old stickbug of a kid fighting his buddy Miguel who has been known to kill#he’ll say some fights tou just can’t win Miles… and Miles is setting Miguel’s apartment on fire#like they have good moments. okay. trust me. but a toxic friendship like the kind you see that people take too seriously from a show like.#idk bluey. or some kids show like that.#spiderverse fans DNI ‼️‼️‼️🤦🏾🤦🏾🤦🏾🤦🏾🤦🏾🤦🏾🤦🏾🤦🏾🤦🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾‼️‼️‼️‼️#not ship never ship don’t even tag is as such bc i’ll just delete the post#miles morales#spiderman#spider man#gabriel o’hara#rio morales#jefferson morales#miguel o’hara#m&m posts
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5 AM
Just me and my overactive mind facing the nighttime again 🙃
#hopefully the meds work but while waiting for them to kick in I get so damn nervous#and sometimes I do get nights where even on my full dose my anxiety is too overpowering and I just. Do Not Sleep#I mean I do eventually but not without spiraling first :')#way before I was prescribed sleep meds my longest was 3 nights without sleep while on a VERY stressful trip#I felt like I was gonna die and I did not sleep until I got off the plane and was back at home#(this was like 15 years ago already but it still haunts me fhfgsgdh)#my best friend and I were having a conversation today#and she was like 'not sleeping can make you hallucinate right?'#and I was like :') I get the hallucinations in other scenarios too#BUT I also get what she meant#not sleeping is really bad for me mentally which is why I can't do 'sleep restriction therapy'#and fun fact#a lot of my OCD obsessions revolve around sleep!!!#which is 'awesome' because laying in bed with insomnia makes my OCD flare up so like#the two get to feed off each other and make my life a living hell!!!#and don't even get me started on my sleep paralysis episodes#(which I like to think of as just my brain misfiring but that my aunt tells me is saints or demons trying to talk to me)#'cause she hallucinates too but hers are like 'spiritual' or whatever#same with my mom's hallucinations as well#and to add fuel to the dumpster fire of my mind and body is the fact I've been overcaffeinating again#which I've known not to do ever since I was in middle school and saw the pediatric cardiologist who specifically said 'hey don't do that'#fast-forward to adulthood and I still haven't learned how to handle anything#like. I have heart meds and sleep meds and migraine meds and IBS meds#and yes meds are good but like. I know you need to incorporate lifestyle changes as well#which I do for like 2 weeks until the next time I fuck up#I've been so irresponsible lately but like. ESPECIALLY today#didn't eat#took some meds on an empty stomach and forgot to take my other ones at all#had too much caffeine#stressed out over some stupid situations thanks to overthinking
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where can i sponser a chapter :) just like give a tip on tumblr :) or like is there a site?
uhm. erm. well the erm. the 'sponsor' goal is:
its on my kofi. the link to which you can also find in my tumblr bio.
#my asks#imaginary#LOOK BEFORE ANYONE SAYS ANYTHING ABOUT THE PRICES. LET IT BE KNOWN MY LAST IMAGINARY CHAPTER WAS 27K WORDS LONG#THATS LIKE. A SMALL NOVEL. SO.!!!#ALSO BEFORE IT WAS 25 DOLLARS BUT THEN I GOT A 50 DOLLAR DONATION AND HAD TO WRITE TWO CHAPTERS. BOTH OF WHICH WERE LIKE SMALL NOVEL LENGTH#SO!!!#i basically spent like 20-40 hours on each chapter as well. so like. thats about an hour per dollar#which is def NAWT minimum wage besties (its okay id write for imaginary for free cause i love it) BUT please dont kill me over the prices o#even if you just donate a portion it will still light a fire under my ass the goal is mostly just for jokesies
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Okay I'm working on snowbird chapter 2
I hope people actually read it considering seven of them voted for me to keep writing it when I asked them
#announcement#i guess#snowbird#snowbird chapter 2 is im uhhere i er well#im like. 49% done#i hope people read it i really do#i establish the protags relationship with her older sister in chapter 2 itll be great#therell be guilt the protags bestie has a fraternal relationship with the protags older sister would you read that please read that im beggi#also just read part of mockingjay that derails my whole plot BUT ITS OKAY the plot holes have saved me#it says that finnick odair was a mentor during the 74th games but that doesnt check out because he won during 65 but annie casta won in 70#meaning annie casta won the most recently but wasnt a mentor??? but annie is known for not being stable SO#that means that if a mentor is unfit to train new tributes they can be replaced by a more capable one WHICH MEANS#despite the timelines making one of my characters the most recent district 4 victor if she has a psychotic breakdown she wont mentor#so now i have to find a way to traumatise her enough that her progress going back to normal just flies out the window#fortunately the reaping happens in winter the arena was full of snow theres a point where she falls in a frozen lake she lives in district 4#hmmmmmm and maybe she gets cut. maybe blood on snow reminds her of things that she doesnt want to be reminded of. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmnmnnnm#it happens in winter cause its in the middle of the year. winter is in the middle of the year. catching fire has the reaping midyear (?)#look dont ask me about my timelines just enjoy it okay
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Also, Ruan Mei was the one who lent the Phase Flame to Ratio, wasn't she?
#That Ratio and her were working together seemed to be the case since we first found him but idk#Ruan Mei plays dumb when we ask about him but I thought it was clear that she did know him#Herta also pretends she doesn't know him for some reason#cringefail acquaintance#Jokes aside I wonder why they did that. Is it because they both are ehm working behind each other's back#(Herta when it comes to the IPC‚ the SU and the bet‚ Ruan Mei kind of with everything)‚ or is it due to some other more complex reason?#Based on we've seen thus far I do think Ratio and Ruan Mei were working together in something#and that she was in the known of at least some things. Perhaps not everything#She seems to care about things beyond her research even less than Herta does#But given what we're told it seems fair to conclude the fire Ratio had was given to him by Ruan Mei#Herta said Ruan Mei needed it for some research. So either she didn't need it anymore and didn't mind giving it to Ratio afterwards#or maybe what Ratio was doing was something she was a part of. Or did Ratio steal it when he was around the seclusion zone?#I'm not inclined to think that tbh it seems to me Ruan Mei must have been knowingly implied. Yet now she owes Herta a favour#Which is more valuable according to Herta. This quest has left me very curious about the development of all this#Screwllum suspected Ratio since the beginning. I wonder if he suspects Ruan Mei too#Ruan Mei's line about Screwllum makes it seem like they don't get along too well I think. I have so many questions xD#I am very curious about all this‚ satisfied and potentially excited. Not yet excited but I sure have hopes for an exciting development haha#Maybe it will all end up being nothing but the relationships between the characters in the Genius Society (especially these three)#seems kind of messy and that intrigues me. The relationship the three of them have with Ratio seems intriguing too#Any iteration of these dynamics seems to be very interesting#Maybe it will all end up being nothing or I may be misreading or seeing more than there is but I am looking forwards to knowing more#I talk too much#Traces
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oh my god kalinda sharma actually is in love with alicia florrick isn't she
#'alicia. it's about alicia. that's what you care about.'#ahhhhhhhhhhh! reader i gasped.#and all of this right after alicia's (correct) surmising that if they'd known each other in their pasts they would have hated each other#which alicia said specifically bc *alicia* was different#in response to kalinda's wistful 'i wish i'd known you then'#bc of course it's actually about kalinda and kalinda's past#anyway hello i'm on another new-to-me old lawyer show#don't worry i know how this one ends i'm not getting overinvested but i am gonna enjoy the ride while it lasts#i'm already seeing all the ways their reconciliation could have been so narratively good and i'm preemptively *sighs* about it#anyway sorry 2 all of us that apparently archie panjabi and julianna marguiles didn't like each other bc their characters are *fire emoji*#amy watches tgw
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Roy and Ed have the best mentor - mentee relationship. Discuss.
THEY DO
Roy after thirty minutes discussing a plan: Ed did you listen to a word I said
Ed: yeah totally. I especially liked the part where you suggested we go get some sandwhiches. I heartily agree
Roy: *internal screaming*
#in all seriousness though they really do have such a great relationship#roy saying ed’s got fire in his eyes always makes me grin#cause YES this guy GETS IT#he’s a dorky idealist at his heart after all#he knows what it’s like to need something to fight for#to make a better future#for yourself and others#and he kinda tries to guide ed in containing that fight#*continuing*#whether it’s introducing him to tucker (which yeah went horribly but he couldn’t have known)#or checking up on he and al to see if they’ve made progress with their quest#or allowing them the freedom to research#and even showing up like everywhere the boys go to make sure they’re as protected as possible#protective/parental roy is the best#and though ed is a little gremlin child#I do think he sees roy almost as an older brother#annoying but endearing and kinda cool at the same time XD#idk I’ve got many thoughts about these two#but I need to rewatch the show (in the process of doing it rn)#so that I can refresh my memory#and properly gush about them#trin answers#asks#lovely anon#fmab
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*hits myself on the head* this bad boy can have chemicals so unbalanced you wouldn't believe
#seadonal depression is hitting me so hard right now#the inescapable heat makes me feel ill in my own body and makes every wakong second unenjoyable to me#which as someone who's already struggling a little with being alive makes me.. well lets just say :)#honestly everyday i feel like lying down on the kitchen floor (which is the saddest place you can be in as is known) and cry (alot)#but then i never do because i am really strong and making it through the day comes easy to me#really you could say i am an expert making-it-through-the-dayer#yesterday i drew a horrible sketch of a human being and it only put my brain on fire for like 10 minutes#and then i drew a sweet kitty with flowers to remind myself that i am in fact not a waste of space and hands 👍#personaltext
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🐱🐾 boop :]] 🦐?
*boops back* hehe
A story giving me shrimp emotions right now is the all for the game trilogy by Nora Sakavic, I'm currently doing a reread because she announced there's a sequel following the story of one of the other characters whos ending wasn't finished and I'm super excited, I want to go into it fresh with the plot of the existing books so it's a great excuse for a reread :D
#Thank god for the random person who reblogged her announcement because otherwise I never would've known#But also exploring exposed me to some fandom drama that apparently people go like ohhh these are my favourite trash fire books they're so -#Bad but good hahaha which has pissed me off bc I read them when there was no fandom at all really (I was shocked bc it's exactly the kind of#Book to get a fandom following)#And I always thought they were really good. Still do#Anyway those ppl can shut up#Aftg#Yellow speaks
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