#which is in just under two weeks
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Okay, so 362 words isn’t exactly the amount I should have written if I want this fic to get anywhere, but a) it is something, b) I left off at a natural stopping point, i.e at the end of Suiren’s self sacrificing internal monologue, and c) the sky is getting light and I need to fall asleep before sunrise
#writing woes#I’m getting there#my current goal is to hopefully get this fic done before the one year anniversary of the creation of the Google doc I’m writing it in#which is in just under two weeks#fucking pray for me I’ve set so many deadlines for myself that I never met#I’m just trying to get this finished#for the sake of my sanity AND the sake of my co-writer and our series
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this cliff took more lives than i could on my own im losing it
#marvel rivals#snap shots#yeah sure why not. ill put rivals clips under snap shots too ig#real life snap gameplay footage woah. motion sickness warning ajeRLKAJ#'snap are you prone to bunny hopping like a jackass' yes i am just as i am to constant unnecessary reloading this will not change#i dont imagine ill post a lot of rivals clips vjaLRGJALKJ this one just made me chortle ......#squirrelgirl i can get i nudged her off but punisher my guy ... i know its only a week into launch but be careful ...#now i get to talk bout the bizarre sess kayla and i had Of Which This Clip Was Extracted From#ok there actually isnt a lot of bizarre things to mention. just wanted to say we had The Most Clutch last game of the night#like truuully we thought we'd lose but lol ... lmao ... also bonus mvp for me but whatever. ... .#she and i also Unreasonably lost it at the fact i sniped an ironman down three seconds into a match. it WAS p funny tho ...#offhandedly i was just 'can tony piss off a minute' and then. look at that. many such cases but lol ...#i wish i could say it was due to sleep-induced delirium but i fear even now im not tired so i think we're just stupid vEJLRVKJEA#we won like 90% of our games tho so ...... two dumbasses can make it work apparently#atp i might just ask her if i can record our sessions cause i end up live blogging them anyway#its not as if we didnt used to record gameplay shit together and she Sometimes streams so ejrLEJARLKJ shrug#it could be funny but thats also A Lot so prob wont do it. cause thatd mean id have to listen to my voice and thats a no !!!!#anyway im sleeping. if even one person finds this mildly amusing for any reason then i win#for now ima answer some asks i see i got then ima nap see ya in a biiitt
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The guy leading my recert class keeps talking about how he's been sick and all his symptoms like 😭 sir stop it 😭😭
#kinda snz#bro is hella sniffling and talking about how he's had a sore throat and a cough for a week now#hoarse and congested and everything like 😩 I'm just trying to pretend to learn here#basically i just sit here for two hours while he talks and i answer a few multiple choice questions to prove I'm here#i don't even have to get them right which like. i do but it's kinda scary that you don't have to to get credit lmao#anyway how am i supposed to pretend to focus under these circumstances#distracting af lmao
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everyone wanna talk bout rgg until rgg start postin bout 'yakuza wars' girl what the HELL is this
#snap chats#IT THE WAY NONEAYALL CAME TO TALK ABOUT THIS#chat what do we think. my head hurts tahts what i htink its been hurting since last night#a dull pain but a pain nonetheless. why does majima look so mysterious and offputting (negative)#some people are saying this is ai generated but im gonna be so tbh i think its just the art style lvkjekleja#which is SO funny and makes me wonder if art styles are gonna shift in the coming years because of ai#yk. cause this artstyle just has such an AI feel to it- I DONT THINK ITS AI. IF IM WRONG WE CAN SHOOT ME BUT#majima do be offputting as hell ... also WHERES IHIBAN WHY DO THEY KEEP EXCLUDING HIM HES THE MAIN GUY#idgaf if ichi already had a mobile game put him in this one#also this isnt gonna be the Next Big Game rgg was talking about for the summit. at least i hope not#we'll see come the twentieth .... just under two weeks away ...
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plans for tomorrow include:
Doing my weekly bird survey (HUGE win for job experience and volunteer hours)
taking a BATH!!!!!!!! i got cool and fun bubble bath stuff that i’m gonna use!!!! very hype!!!!!!
#ALSO gonna do more schoolwork#which is less exciting#but i’m doing like. moderately okay at getting ahead on stuff#not an entire week ahead like i was hoping#but it’s better than nothing!#i’ll at least get all of my discussion posts done and at least one additional assignment#aiming for two but WE SHALL SEE!!!!!!#i truly just have too much shit to do this semester#and like. that’s fully on me for taking double the ‘full time’ amount of credits#but like. 🤷🤷🤷🤷#it’s going fine so far#i THINK that all of my professors are normal - which is a huge relief#but they haven’t actually graded anything yet so that remains to be seen#having a picky professor literally just ruins my life for two months so let’s HOPE that’s not the case this time!!!!!!#i’ve definitely cracked the code for doing well under any professor who grades by the actual rubric#but there’s always a professor here and there who grades by the rubric in their head instead#and they are truly my greatest enemies
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FAMILY TITLES AMONG THE HILL TRIBES
(ft. various linguistic notes and tangents)
In-universe Brakul’s self-given title of ‘Red-Dog’ is Brakul 'ne-Dainh' in his native language (Bict-Urbinnas dialect of the Highland language group) and Brakul 'Chin-Reyla' in Wardi. Ne-Dainh/Chin-Reyla is not something he treats as or considers an actual surname or identity, just a self-styled nickname. He already has a title.
Family names/surnames are not a native practice among the Hill Tribes (though some clans or individual families have adopted this practice), and all traditionally use titles that designate immediate ancestry, clan and tribe. These full titles are officially given when one comes of age and are spoken aloud in ceremony (with the entire direct male and female lines listed by name, with most traditions expecting 12 generations of each being named).
The function is to cement one’s sense of place in the world, and their place in a direct ancestral line, which puts the person under the full watch and guidance of their ancestors. It's also a critical method of recording lineage- the long held practice of each person memorizing at least 24 total direct ancestors allows for very long, largely accurate records of family history to be kept, with some people able to trace their ancestry all the way back to initial settlement of the Highlands (or even beyond).
Brakul’s full title is:
“Brakul virsum Kuligan et Borunil an Briyonis ne-Taig an Bict-Urbinnas”
Which dead literally translates to “Brakul son of Kuligan and Borunil of the Foothills (of) Red-Cattle, of the North (Urbin/Erubin) River Valley” but has a much richer meaning in the original language.
"BRAKUL VIRSUM KULIGAN ET BORUNIL"
The actual meaning here is closer to ‘Brakul, son of Kuligan and his father’s fathers, and Borunil and her mother’s mothers’.
“Virsum” means ‘child (son/daughter) of’ (the gender is contextual), but implies the person’s status as a descendant of a full male and female line of ancestors. A different word is used if you’re just saying ‘I’m so and so’s son”. The title describes him as a son of his father Kuligan and of Kuligan’s male line, and of his mother Borunil and Borunil's female line.
All ancestors (within this particular system of kinship, divided into one direct male line from the father and one direct female line from the mother, and not including husbands from the female line or wives from the male line) are invoked and credited with the word ‘virsum’. Speaking it as part of the personal title is part of the routine and necessary honoring of one’s ancestors, who watch over their descendants from the afterlife and can temporarily return to the land to guide and protect (and sometimes punish, or teach sharp lessons to) the living.
"AN BRIYONIS NE-TAIG"
The actual meaning here would be understood as ‘clan/people of the foothills where cattle are lit red by the setting sun'.
‘Briyonis’ is the word for ‘foothill’, citing his clan’s specific location being the foothills that form the slopes of the north Urbin river valley. He is of a lesser clan within the powerful North Urbin River tribe. His clan benefits from close affiliation to their more powerful ruling clans located directly in the river valley, which grants them access to a greater variety of cultivated foods, but their actual position in the foothills still renders them predominantly reliant on cattle for subsistence. Clan names referencing cattle or horses are very common, given their frequent centrality to life.
The ‘ne-Taig’ literally means ‘red cattle’, but the ‘ne’ color word for red specifically invokes shades of red seen in and cast by a rising/setting sun. This red cast is culturally regarded as a unique beauty and evocative (and part of the name) of the solar god Hraighne. The foothills his clan is physically located on are a vantage point from which the western horizon is not fully obscured by mountains, and they experience very striking sunsets and are directly touched by the light. This is fairly unique to this location, and is invoked in the clan name and identity. ‘Ne-Taig’ here suggests a visual of grazing cattle illuminated red by the sun as it crosses the horizon.
‘Ne-Dainh’ carries the same implication, a dog illuminated red by setting sunlight. The Wardi language does not have a comparable word for a sunlit red and ‘Chin-Reyla’ really does just mean ‘(orangeish) red dog’ (‘reyla’ is specific to orangey-red colors, which is the closest match he could get. There’s no way to impart the meaning of ‘sunlit-red dog’ in Wardi that is non-clunky enough to be appropriate for a name).
"AN BICT-URBINNAS"
‘an Bict-Urbinnas’ is fairly simple, Bict means ‘north’, and 'Urbin' is the name of the specific river that stems from a northern and eastern tributary. This river has a very ancient name (or a derivative of one) that predates settlement by the Hill Tribes, and its exact meaning is lost.
The root -(n)nas designates a river valley, but has strong implications of being an esteemed and bountiful place, rather than solely a literal geographical descriptor (as the river valleys are centers of power and trade in the highlands). It may be a loanword from the Wardi language family, as its usage is VERY similar in form and function to the Wardi -(n)nos, which also suggests a place of esteem and bounty (more specifically having connotations of a kingdom).
’An’ literally means ‘of’, but in the specific sense of describing the place and identity of a collection of people. ‘an Bict Urbinnas’ would be understood in speech as ‘of the north Urbin River Valley (people)’. The clans historically settled in and around the valley of the North Urbin River form the totality of the Bict-Urbinnas tribe.
The ‘Urbin’ word predates the contemporary Wardi name ‘Erubin’ for the river, the latter of which invokes the semi-mythological founding figure Erub, who himself was of a Wardi tribe located downriver to the south of the Highlands. The real historically extant ‘Erub’ was most likely named Urub after the river, with his cited name shifting over the centuries in folklore, and the Wardi name for the river shifting with it.
‘Erubin’ as a corruption of ‘Urbin’ functions very well in Wardi language due to ‘-bi/bin’ denoting something as a ‘gift’, usually in a more metaphorical sense. ‘Erubin’ is understood as meaning ‘(The river that is) Erub’s gift’, and the Erubin/Urbin river is a key tributary to the much larger Black river, one of the key rivers that feeds the region's wetter and more fertile west. This 'gift' meaning also occurs in the name of the southeastern Imperial Wardi city-state Erubinnos, which is understood as meaning ’((The kingdom that is) Erub’s gift’. He is considered to have conquered and taken the land (from the core city's actual founders, the Wogan people) and established a kingdom there in the early days of warring Wardi tribal monarchies.
#Just dropping this randomly because it's a pretty complete lore dump in my notes app#Family names are a big fucking deal in the Wardi cultural sphere and not having one is associated with being a bastard or otherwise#displaced or unwanted. If pressed Brakul either fully lies and says 'ne-Dainh' (which will just come off as 'oh it's some foreign name')#Or lists his actual title (not a family name but equally important). Sometimes listing all 24 generations if he's particularly annoyed.#It's only strictly necessary to memorize 12 ancestors in each line but it's considered good practice to be able#to cite associated non-direct ancestor husbands/wives/siblings/etc. That's where the tattoos as a mnemonic device comes in#It's easy to memorize 24 ancestors but very difficult to memorize 24 ancestors and at least some of their family members#And remembering and honoring the dead by name is of great importance- both puts you under the protection of more#ancestors (including non-direct ones) and ensures the dead's status in the afterlife is secure (it's believed that fully forgotten#dead leave the celestial fields and can no longer directly intercede with the living- though with some additional nuances to what#constitutes being fully forgotten)#Venerating and remembering the dead is a huge focus of cultural practice and additional methods are used to safeguard#ancestors (and other honored dead without descendants) whose names have been forgotten. There's one yearly holiday focused entirely on#the nameless dead where they are invoked and honored via little straw dolls that are burnt in bonfires high in the mountains so the#smoke is sent up to the Fields. It takes weeks of preparation and tens (maybe hundreds idk I'm bad with scale) of thousands of#dolls will be made each year across the Highlands for this purpose. Honoring them with effigy even without name is usually#considered enough to safeguard their afterlife for at least another year.#Also yeah kinship systems among the Hill Tribes (and very similarly among the Finns) follow a male line/female line system#Only father's father's fathers (...) and mother's mother's mothers (...) are considered direct ancestors (though all four grandparents#are sometimes honored as ancestors even if only two are considered DIRECT ancestral kin- this tradition varies)#Inheritance systems are somewhat matrilineal given that a wife is considered the owner and arbiter of property and a husband is#its protector and active manager. If a man and woman from different clans (or tribes) marry any children will be considered to be of#the clan/tribe of whichever spouse does NOT relocate in marriage.#Whether the husband moves in with the wife or the wife moves in with the husband is dependent on an arbitration process#and the husband (and his family) being able to provide a bride price (which is somewhat of a payment for the land/property#the wife's mother will be passing down to the new husband's management should he move in- and displays his ability to care#for and provide valued assets. A man who can provide a bride price tends to receive greater respect)#This is most commonly going to be livestock (and almost ubiquitously includes a single cattle to be butchered for the wedding feast)#But can include other valuables or assets like land or grain/seeds or etc. There is no intra-Highlands monetary system and the internal#economy is built on trade. So Imperial Wardi currency is mostly useless but is sometimes given in marriages between clans with strong
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it's month 7 of pants research and this is the scene of the latest fashion cryptid sighting unsuspecting civilians were subjected to at the local charity shop this morning
#pants#fashion#men's fashion#cryptid#cryptidcore#da me#((the shop doesn't have a fitting room so I was measuring with my measuring tape instead to make sure it was the correct fit))#I bought FOUR pairs of pants for under 20 quid TOTAL!#(and two huge bed sheets worth of fabric for less than 10 cause this specific charity shop is my fave cause they got curtains & bed sheets)#and then 3 more at tkmaxx that did cost about 20-25 each but apparently that was like 50 quid less than rrp#and all 7 of them fit appropriately in the hip/crotch area and I'll only need to shorten the legs 🙏#cause I finally figured out what measurement to fit men's pants for the other week#cause unlike women's fashion which just fits to existing body shapes (eg waist for pant waist crotch for pant crotch etc)#men's fashion ignores basically all existing body shapes which makes it so much harder in so many ways#for someone this short I sure am crouching in public surprisingly often
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Actually the Original Plan was for Buffy to end in Season 5, but sinister External Forces [the production company that made it and Buffy's creator and showrunner] randomly stopped that from happening [by engaging in a protracted and very public bidding war over which network would host future seasons of the show while Season 5 was still being written, which WB lost and UPN won, as a result of which the production company earned significantly more money than they had for previous seasons].
#btvs#the perennial 'the original plan was to end after The Gift' talking point can be disproved with five minutes on a decent search engine#as can variants like 'WB cancelled/was going to cancel the show but UPN stepped in and rescued in'#it's just not true! it's demonstrably not true!#yes WB didn't renew the show for a sixth season but only because they wouldn't match Fox's demands for more money#demands which Fox was only making because they knew that UPN could and would match them if offered#(and crucially WB _would have_ renewed the show if Fox hadn't asked for more money)#UPN had commissioned two new seasons of the show weeks before The Gift ever made it to air!#nobody watching The Gift in 2001 would have thought it was the last episode (unless they'd been living under a rock I guess)#nobody had some grand artistic vision for The Gift to be the last episode that was cruelly thwarted by outside agents#stop accepting assertions of random Tumblr posts as facts and repeating them without question#(except my posts: those you obviously can trust with your life)
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Brb gotta just yell into the void
#GOD IM JUST#so both Q and I were under the impression we would be getting help fixing the place#almost a full week later#it’s basically just been me his elderly grandma and him when hes not working#which is very little time since he’s full time#I have been working on this place from basically sunrise to sunset#doing what I can to make it clean and repaint#but I can’t do most repairs#mainly what the bathroom needs#but today#ooooooo today#Q’s parents are getting on our nerves man#we’ve been trying to explain that the bathroom is not functional in it’s current state#and instead of Q’s father#the landlord of this place who decided keeping it while living two and a half hours away was a smart idea#helping to fix said bathroom#says he’d rather work on the living room floor which is the lowest priority#and when we expressed this to them#his mother goes#if you don’t like it you can go live somewhere else#EXCUSE ME#I have literally been spending all the time I can trying to fix up YOUR place for you two#to the point where I am now coming down with a cold and my lowing back is killing me#where Q is sacrificing every free moment he has trying to do what he can while working a full time job#and THIS is the thanks we get???????#what the hell#anyway they’re coming tomorrow but Q has work so I am going to cry#I am so exhausted and stressed if they pull some shit I might just do something I shouldn’t#I want this to be over#the second were able to afford a house we’re getting the hell out of here
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#WOOOOAAHHH THEY'RE TRANSPARENT!! I THOUGHT REGIICE WAS BLUE BUT LIKE#i guess it makes sense that they're actually transparent! 'cuz! they're made of ice! i kinda wish they were blue here since that's like#more iconic and i feel like they'd be more recognizable if they were transparent but i guess this ALSO looks cool#and no‚ the stuff in there is not‚ like. its brain or whatever. it's just FULLY transparent and you can see through to my desktop wallpaper#and that's what's showing through its head. which is like cool but i'm worried makes this guy a little bit less visually distinct#actually yeah it kinda does LEMME redo this one but with a blank background and see if it looks any better#yyyeeeeaaahh okay this helps a bit. more visual clarity. i'll replace it with the one where you Can't see my desktop wallpaper#i might leave that version under the cut actually. but i'd have to add some text to the post which i generally don't like doing. just to#explain what it is. cuz not everyone is gonna read these tags#i'll just. leave it the way it is. in two weeks i'll just hope i remember what wallpaper i had applied when i took the original image#cuz i have it set to change every night through a set list of images that i update whenever i find a new image i like that's roughly#the resolution of my monitor. i dunno if anyone else does this#most irrelevant tags ever#regice#thanks for the catch on the spelling nidoskull
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Life is.. a lot right now
#my sister is getting married literally next week and i keep having to remind people of their jobs for setup#i ended up just putting myself in charge of flowers because every time i asked someone what the plan was they had a different answer#i put my mom up to make the reservation for the rehearsal dinner TWO MONTHS AGO and yesterday she called me asking who to contact#and like. i am not good with details either. but i have to be#because everyone else in my fucking family dreams up vibes and then throws a hissy fit when the world doesnt catch up to their expectations#not to mention that my dickhead qanon brother has rsvpd which means i will have to interact with him directly for the first time in 5 years#and his nightmare trumpie wife who once made my mom cry#i am crumpling under the stress. kcfh analysis is my lifeline right now#personal
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saying “israel has the right to defend itself” is crazy considering israel were the ones who stole palestinian land in the first place and have been continuously committing genocide against the palestinian people for almost a century
and sign the fucking petition please 🙏🏼
#if we’re gonna be doing cause and effect here#all israeli blood spilled by hamas is on israel’s hands#just like that one palestinian advocate said on tv two or so weeks ago#israel is shooting fish into a barrel and being upset when it splashes#and this isn’t even really about hamas at all#it is just another excuse israel can use to justify their own version of the holocaust#which is already starkly similar to the one they suffered under 80 years ago#free palestine#free gaza#israel#hamas#genocide#free west bank#petition#palestine
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#cassy bitches#i am. so fucking tired and annoyed and stressed#our fucking shower hasn't worked in two weeks bc my parter decided to remodel and then didnt finish the job!#and now her fucking sibling fucked up our dishwasher and it leaked water EVERYWHERE including apparently under the floorboards#and im pretty sure i can smell black mold in the kitchen now which! great! another nightmare we're gonna have to fix ourselves#since we cant afford to get a contractor and even if we could no one ever returns our calls when we do try to hire someone#AND my friend went to surgery for appendicitis and that's freaking me out#and ON TOP of that ive been creatively juiced out and feeling like shit about the things i make and my ocs and like. me#like everyone's just been secretly tolerating me all this time and if i disappear no one's going to notice#i feel like nothing i make or am doing is worthwhile and im just GROSS and ANGRY and ANNOYING#and even complaining in tags on a post makes me feel like a whiny baby like. there are wars etc why am i complaining boo hoo#so i cant even talk to people about how i feel bc it makes me so ashamed that im feeling this way to begin with#ive been resisting the urge to just delete everything at this point bc then at least i wont have the urge to check everything and feel wors#why does awful shit always happen right around my birthday. why am i cursed like this
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#choosing the allie methodology of entire post in tags ily allie#but anyway um what a day stroke week#the way i have just been randomly fatigued for more than a week now idk if it's related to my PMS but my period is late so im fighting for#my LIFE in this bitch of a month#anyway i was logged into my team zoom yesterday and one of my manager's meeting notifs came up#which was a job interview for another position in the company no heads up for me or anything this is how i found out 🙃#anyway she asks to talk to me today and says 'i'm moving positions in the organisation i just found out today'#and i had to pretend to be surprised bc well yes. internal hiring costs less not surprising and i knew she was gonna go on mat leave in#april anyways but now i will be on my own handling this entire project in. just under two weeks time.#and obviously i can apply for her former position (and get a pay rise hm) but like. my contract ends in sept rn no matter what job i go for#here so like. is anyone going to take a seven month position. realistically.#and like her new position is more secure in terms of funding streams and i know she is thinking long term she is having a baby#but like. this was the worst week for me to find this shit out tbh LMAO (painfully) i was expecting to do it alone from april#NOT IN LESS THAN TWO WEEKS and my stomach hurts and my football teams SUCK right now and i want to#bury myself under blankets and scream into a pillow or perhaps cry a bit my head is NOT in the game today or this week#and like just /GESTURES TO ENTIRE SOCIOPOLITICAL CONTEXT WE EXIST IN/#oh they fired nuri at dortmund i just saw press F#but press F for me more tbh he's got football money he'll be fine
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Mint stole my heckin’ dog (Patreon)
#Doodles#Webkinz#Mint#This is why nobody likes you Mint <talking specifically about myself lol#The December event calendar really was stacked huh ♪ The lead-up to Christmas and then ending the year out with a week of Deluxe!#Almost makes up for how broken the first few days of the new year were lol#But yes! I collected enough medallions to get the Snowy Retriever Puppy! Of course :3#Smol did as well and we adopted them at the same time hehe#We'd been discussing names for a few days before we'd collected enough - she wanted to go a bit Lovecore and I was really struggling#I'd seen a few other Snowy Retrievers out and about from previous years' players - one in a Sans outfit!! So perfect#You can see I've tried my best to emulate the outfit there on Mini Mint in the last one in her icy bed hehehe#Blue hoodie - black white-striped basketball shorts - pink fuzzy slippers - white body with blue eyes - check#Incredible#But then no I had a 4th Wall Moment where Mint piped up that he would be the obvious match here thanks Mint#The white fur and light blue eyes and wintery theme - Mint would be one of the obvious choices and he Does look like that#So now she's Mini Mint and he has a dog#Can Mint please stop taking my shit for two seconds thank you#First Liam and now my new dog! Selfish#Tossed him into the Webkinzifier for penance lol not that he minds#He Would have heart-shaped heel-bottomed shoes just to sit there with#Unremovable just to spite me#Well anyhow ♪ Mini Mint is here now and she and Embroidery share a room and regularly snoot-boop#They're actually currently separated by a wall under construction lol when will they be reunited ahh#As soon as I have the ability to make more rooms you better believe I'm making a sensory deprivation chamber it's like All I want#Which kinz would Max be hmmm much research to be done
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This just in, local struggler severely overestimates how much they can eat yet again. Left with half a bowl of ramen and a sad, sad heart
#speculation nation#it's homemade at least so im not wasting money on fancy ramen#but i Hate this man it sucks 😭😭😭😭#i keep losing weight bc i can never eat enough#and i was like 'ok lets make a ramen thats a good sized meal' but then i cant FINISH it#forced myself to finish all the eggs at least and now im just picking at the peas. ugh.#at this rate im gonna have to start drinking ensures more regularly again#bc i havent gotten to the underweight phase yet but if it keeps going like this then i will#like it was. excuse me talking about my weight for a bit but im a tad bit concerned about it#but back before i started adderall back in uhh. september?? i think?? or october???#fuck if i remember. been a few months tho. but also not That long.#anyways i was at like. 140lbs at the doctor and like 137lbs at home (relevant bc clothes weight. rest of this will be at home weights)#and ive had such shit appetite that ive been watching it go down and down. like at least a pound a week. sometimes two pounds.#and now im at 123lbs. which is a solid almost 15 lbs lost in like 3 ish months. which is kind of a lot when ur small to begin with.#also a little alarming when u see this happen like a pound lower between every shower. bc i tend to check before i shower.#& i often shower every 4 days or so. when im in the Rotting Era and all. aka i dont rly go outside much.#and like 123lbs still isnt bad for 5'3“ but i think 107lbs is the cutoff for underweight. and im halfway there.#and now see i was about this weight a few years back so in one respect it's nice to fit into some of my older pants again#but at the same time..thats too quick!!! thats not healthy!!!! but when i try to eat more i Cant!!! it makes me nauseous!!!!!#so back in early 2020 when i was dipping under 110lbs bc of meds stuff i got onto ensure and it did help. so maybe i need to again.#just..blegh. i just kinda feel empty all the time. like stomach-wise. but not Hungry. it's a problem.#gotta come up with ways to eat that dont rely on my stomach to tell me when to eat. bc it's definitely not doing a good job at that.#weight mention/#and like see ive been eating 2 meals a day on average but i was doing that before too!!!!!!#but i think it's bc i cant Finish my meals half the time that's really causing problems.#staring at my half eaten bowl of ramen very grumpily. it has now been long enough that it's kind of gross.#and my arms hurt. just bc my bone aches have decided to flare up again. very grumpy.#negative/#i guess lol
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