#which is fine obviously
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Guys I think there’s a trend in my favorite characters…
Miles “Tails” Prower, Sonic the Hedgehog
Varian, Tangled the Series
Lyon Vastia and Gray Fullbuster, Fairy Tail
Takeru “TK” Takashi, Digimon
Ken Ichijouji, Digimon
Simon Seville, Alvin and the Chipmunks
Dick Grayson, DC Comics
Tim Drake, DC Comics
Sibling figure, usually younger or middle, often the “smart one” of the group, a bit socially awkward, some form of masked trauma or self esteem issues….a good portion have guilt complexes over mistakes or hold themselves to a high standard, the “responsible” one. Most are queer and neurodivergent coded.
They’re just a little similar. A smidge.
And then there’s our wild card.
Raven, (specifically this iteration), Teen Titans
Actually no, GUILT COMPLEX. There’s a tie in.
Angel Dust, Hazbin Hotel
I CANT EVEN SAY HE’S A WILD CARD BECAUSE HE TECHNICALLY HAS SIBLINGS THEY’RE JUST NOT IN THE SHOW (so far)
I don’t. I don’t think I have a character that doesn’t fit into one of those criterion. I have a favorite archetype and stick to it goddamn.
#there’s probably something psychological going on here but bold of you to assume I’m addressing it#also interstingly most of my favorite characters are male#which is fine obviously#but it makes me think#Also I’m defining “favorite” by the character that just is my favorite but also the ones I find most compelling to write fics about.#I like other characters in these shows obviously but I just find it funny#also as a kid. professor von drake was my favorite mickey mouse character#like I’ve just always had a favorite character archetype I guess
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am also having a Mild Crisis over whether i should speed up the enemies-to-lovers aspect of this fic because fandom (in general) is used to "they bicker vaguely for three chapters and are clearly In Love by part 4 and then the next 46 chapters are a series of miscommunications" and that's not what my plan is so umm. i think i might just piss the readers off if it doesn't get nicer soon? but then the one weird person other than me who wants to read this version of events will be DEPRIVED if i do that won't they? so. oh no, is this how people feel when writing millon-word rival florist AUs? do they feel THE PRESSURE? do they fret and fuss and panic?
#i hope there's not a sylki rival florist AU i just picked an example i'm not aiming at a specific fic or author or anything#rival knitters? rival librarians?#something cosy is my point. pick one that doesn't exist and use that as my example here okay?#i don't know what the current sylki classics are cos i erm stopped looking in the tag much cos 88% just wasn't stuff i was interested in#i assume it's GOOD stuff in there but it's just not summaries or tag combos i am likely to click on for any pairing really#WHICH IS FINE OBVIOUSLY#the advantage of oneshots is nobody expects anything from it. it's already done. they can't change anything in it. it is OVER.#(some people will still optimistically subscribe to it but you do you etc)#all joys and all disappointments have already happened you don't live in a state of cliffhanger for any length of time#fic related
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Where'd Devin go?
out with his gf -virgil
#which is fine obviously#but he still sucks#ooc tags:#Maeve won the poll so thats Dev’s gfs name#he’ll tell y’all that soon maybe today i dunno#virgil
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i feel like people are sleeping on the occam's razor situation of how buckwild it is to outright accuse a guy of being a clone of your friend even if you DO have a lot of circumstantial evidence. there's other options is what im saying. they could just be like. a guy. that's a sensible deduction. you should explore that deduction. ignore my shirt that reads I <3 RED HERRINGS.
i still think odile has the correct theory on lock but she's smart enough to know it needs like... a real smoking gun to be able to bring it up without sounding insane.
anyway. (mirabelle voice) i know its rude to speculate but has anyone else noticed the grieving? they seem to be grieving. does anyone have any thoughts on the grieving? i have some thoughts on the grieving.
#[isabeau voice] am i insane or does sometimes loop talk like they might have killed their whole family. is that just me? just checking.#nille design highly inspired by @kiwibrain's since its the one that imprinted in my mind. liberties taken since i didnt look @ reference#anyway i have a lot more thoughts on this? i guess ill hide them in the tags...? scroll down i suppose.#isat#in stars and time#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#isat act 6 spoilers#isat loop#isat siffrin#isat bonnie#isat nille#isat fanart#in stars and time fanart#doodlebyte#----------------------------------------------------------------------#anyway the extra thoughts. are literally just my general thoughts on postcanon. (and thus are the context for all of my postcanon doodles!)#which is i think nille joins the party before loop reappears for a start (either from a period of nonexistence or just wandering around)#and that like. i think the party should be able to integrate loop as a completely new person. because they are! the secrecy isn't great but#They and Siffrin shuffle into different ecological niches in the party (eg. i think sif is more squeamish after it all but loop isnt)#and while it's not *exactly* what Loop wanted they get that beggars can't be choosers. and its pretty good#(i am glossing over how i think loop's reappearence drags both them and siffrin into a massive behavioural backslide and is likely a bit#distressing to watch go down. cycle of argument -> lovebombing -> normalcy -> repeat. etc etc. but since they are no longer literally#stewing in the worst pressure cooker of all time they do resolve it via productive conversation on their own time. its fine)#the party well-meaningly tries to deduce things from loop's vagueries and are able to pin down the DEAD FAMILY vibe pretty quickly.#but eventually the question of their prior identity falls by the wayside because well! they're just their friend loop! (also change belief)#as for how The Truth Come Out... this is what i mean by The Isabeau Torment Nexus(tm). which is that i think... isiloop should almost occur#BEFORE isabeau knows who loop is. he's just genuinely charmed by them eventually and tries to close the open end of the polycule#which FREAKS LOOP THE FUCK OUT because thats just too genuinely sick and wrong. and obviously w emotions high its not a great confrontation#ANYWAY told u i had more thoughts. if i were normal itd be a text post but.
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jim being canonically the shortest one of the triumvirate is genuinely so important to me lmao, like yesssssss, let that beefy babe be shorter than both his boyfriends!!!!
#james t kirk#star trek#star trek tos#st:tos#it's me and i against the tide of ppl shrinking bones lmaooo. which is fine obviously whatever makes ppl happy - go forth & shrink the doc!#but jim canonically being the shortest.......i love it so much.......he absolutely lowkey has a chip on his shoulder about it.......#he is SO beefy and strong and can haul both his boyfriends around!!!! but it doesn't change the fact that he's shorter <33333333#it's only like an inch difference between him and bones but jim hates it!!! and also pretends he doesn't hate it <3333#jim kirk my beloved!!!!!!!!!!!#there's some casual comment made about it and then *six hours* later jim is like 'AND FOR THE RECORD I AM *BARELY* SHORTER THAN YOU'#and bones is just '............what? where is this coming from???? and jim's like 'THAT REMARK THE PRIESTESS MADE SIX HOURS AGO'#and bones is just '..........when we're no longer in the middle of a firefight we should probably talk about this and why you're so upset'#'in the meantime though can we please get out of this firefight because i don't wanna die'#spock; SUPER helpfully: and as the doctor is taller than you captain he does make a more visible target#bones; scrubbing his hand across his face: SPOCK YOU'RE NOT HELPING#spock: .....i did not realize you expected me to#mcspirk
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he has a certain “oh golly good gracious” air about him that is absent in the later installations of the franchise
#resident evil 2#re2#resident evil#leon kennedy#leon kennedy fanart#resident evil fanart#resident evil 2 remake#art#artists on tumblr#the crop jackets? SLAAAAY#also for zine reasons I'm going to specifically be drawing OG rookie Leon and had never drawn him before#and he's so much softer looking than re4 leon whom i love#and also because of the animation it's obviously not as good as the re4 remake so he looks so lifeless in much of the game lol#like i searched for expressions to study and all the screencaps he had this blank-eyed stare#which is fine i understand animation evolves but i was like damn#character sheet#he has a rounder head and poutier lips for some reason lmao
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Very interesting to me that a certain subset of the BES fandom's favourite iterations of Mizu and Akemi are seemingly rooted in the facades they have projected towards the world, and are not accurate representations of their true selves.
And I see this is especially the case with Mizu, where fanon likes to paint her as this dominant, hyper-masculine, smirking Cool GuyTM who's going to give you her strap. And this idea of Mizu is often based on the image of her wearing her glasses, and optionally, with her cloak and big, wide-brimmed kasa.
And what's interesting about this, to me, is that fanon is seemingly falling for her deliberate disguise. Because the glasses (with the optional combination of cloak and hat) represent Mizu's suppression of her true self. She is playing a role.
Take this scene of Mizu in the brothel in Episode 4 for example. Here, not only is Mizu wearing her glasses to symbolise the mask she is wearing, but she is purposely acting like some suave and cocky gentleman, intimidating, calm, in control. Her voice is even deeper than usual, like what we hear in her first scene while facing off with Hachiman the Flesh-Trader in Episode 1.
This act that Mizu puts on is an embodiment of masculine showboating, which is highly effective against weak and insecure men like Hachi, but also against women like those who tried to seduce her at the Shindo House.
And that brings me to how Mizu's mask is actually a direct parallel to Akemi's mask in this very same scene.
Here, Akemi is also putting up an act, playing up her naivety and demure girlishness, using her high-pitched lilted voice, complimenting Mizu and trying to make small talk, all so she can seduce and lure Mizu in to drink the drugged cup of sake.
So what I find so interesting and funny about this scene, characters within it, and the subsequent fandom interpretations of both, is that everyone seems to literally be falling for the mask that Mizu and Akemi are putting up to conceal their identities, guard themselves from the world, and get what they want.
It's also a little frustrating because the fanon seems to twist what actually makes Mizu and Akemi's dynamic so interesting by flattening it completely. Because both here and throughout the story, Mizu and Akemi's entire relationship and treatment of each other is solely built off of masks, assumptions, and misconceptions.
Akemi believes Mizu is a selfish, cocky male samurai who destroyed her ex-fiance's career and life, and who abandoned her to let her get dragged away by her father's guards and forcibly married off to a man she didn't know. on the other hand, Mizu believes Akemi is bratty, naive princess who constantly needs saving and who can't make her own decisions.
These misconceptions are even evident in the framing of their first impressions of each other, both of which unfold in these slow-motion POV shots.
Mizu's first impression of Akemi is that of a beautiful, untouchable princess in a cage. Swirling string music in the background.
Akemi's first impression of Mizu is of a mysterious, stoic "demon" samurai who stole her fiance's scarf. Tense music and the sound of ocean waves in the background.
And then, going back to that scene of them together in Episode 4, both Mizu and Akemi continue to fool each other and hold these assumptions of each other, and they both feed into it, as both are purposely acting within the suppressive roles society binds them to in order to achieve their goals within the means they are allowed (Akemi playing the part of a subservient woman; Mizu playing the part of a dominant man).
But then, for once in both their lives, neither of their usual tactics work.
Akemi is trying to use flattery and seduction on Mizu, but Mizu sees right through it, knowing that Akemi is just trying to manipulate and harm her. Rather than give in to Akemi's tactics, Mizu plays with Akemi's emotions by alluding to Taigen's death, before pinning her down, and then when she starts crying, Mizu just rolls her eyes and tells her to shut up.
On the opposite end, when Mizu tries to use brute force and intimidation, Akemi also sees right through it, not falling for it, and instead says this:
"Under your mask, you're not the killer you pretend to be."
Nonetheless, despite the fact that they see a little bit through each other's masks, they both still hold their presumptions of each other until the very end of the season, with Akemi seeing Mizu as an obnoxious samurai swooping in to save the day, and Mizu seeing Akemi as a damsel in distress.
And what I find a bit irksome is that the fandom also resorts to flattening them to these tropes as well.
Because Mizu is not some cool, smooth-talking samurai with a big dick sword as Akemi (and the fandom) might believe. All of that is the facade she puts up and nothing more. In reality, Mizu is an angry, confused and lonely child, and a masterful artist, who is struggling against her own self-hatred. Master Eiji, her father figure who knows her best, knows this.
And Akemi, on the other hand, is not some girly, sweet, vain and spoiled princess as Mizu might believe. Instead she has never cared for frivolous things like fashion, love or looks, instead favouring poetry and strategy games instead, and has always only cared about her own independence. Seki, her father figure who knows her best, knows this.
But neither is she some authoritative dominatrix, though this is part of her new persona that she is trying to project to get what she wants. Because while Akemi is willful, outspoken, intelligent and authoritative, she can still be naive! She is still often unsure and needs to have her hand held through things, as she is still learning and growing into her full potential. Her new parental/guardian figure, Madame Kaji, knows this as well.
So with all that being said, now that we know that Mizu and Akemi are essentially wearing masks and putting up fronts throughout the show, what would a representation of Mizu's and Akemi's true selves actually look like? Easy. It's in their hair.
This shot on the left is the only time we see Mizu with her hair completely down. In this scene, she's being berated by Mama, and her guard is completely down, she has no weapon, and is no longer wearing any mask, as this is after she showed Mikio "all of herself" and tried to take off the mask of a subservient housewife. Thus, here, she is sad, vulnerable, and feeling small (emphasised further by the framing of the scene). This is a perfect encapsulation of what Mizu is on the inside, underneath all the layers of revenge-obsession and the walls she's put around herself.
In contrast, the only time we Akemi with her hair fully down, she is completely alone in the bath, and this scene takes place after being scorned by her father and left weeping at his feet. But despite all that, Akemi is headstrong, determined, taking the reigns of her life as she makes the choice to run away, but even that choice is reflective of her youthful naivety. She even gets scolded by Seki shortly after this in the next scene, because though she wants to be independent, she still hasn't completely learned to be. Not yet. Regardless, her decisiveness and moment of self-empowerment is emphasised by the framing of the scene, where her face takes up the majority of the shot, and she stares seriously into the middle distance.
To conclude, I wish popular fanon would stop mischaracterising these two, and flattening them into tropes and stereotypes (ie. masculine badass swordsman Mizu and feminine alluring queen but also girly swooning damsel Akemi), all of which just seems... reductive. It also irks me when Akemi is merely upheld as a love interest and romantic device for Mizu and nothing more, when she is literally Mizu's narrative foil (takes far more narrative precedence over romantic interest) and the deuteragonist of this show. She is her own person. That is literally the theme of her entire character and arc.
#blue eye samurai#mizu blue eye samurai#akemi blue eye samurai#blue eye samurai meta#just in case... im gonna tag this as#mizukemicritical#akemizucritical#though this post isnt actually criticising the ship itself but rather fanon's portrayal of the ship and the characters#for that reason lemme also tag this as#wank.mp3#feel free to disagree of course but please be civil#and if you need to rant about how wrong i am without any convincing evidence kindly feel free to make your own post. peace and love <3#fandom.rtf#meta dissertations.pdf#shut up haydar#edit: for full disclosure. i do rather dislike this ship. but obviously it's fine for anyone to enjoy it. please do! have your fun!#it's just that as usual! popular fanon and fandom around a ship is what has completely deterred me from any sense of enjoyment of it#it's a shame too because i was very open and even eager for some mizu/akemi romance in the future#but out-of-character fanon + the rudeness of certain fans has definitely soured it for me#but that doesn't mean people can't enjoy it obviously! ship and let ship!!!#plus it has its appeal which i DO STILL see and enjoy!!!!#i would even go as far as to call them soulmates because their narratives and characters are LITERALLY intertwined!!!#but. yeah. my gradual distaste for this ship is indeed very unfortunate.
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the interesting thing about we are is that i believe it's the first bl i've ever seen that truly has one main character. there is a reason why phuwin is the most overworked of them all and why he jokingly complained about the fact that pond wasn't suffering nearly as much as he was, even though he is his on-screen partner. and there is a reason why phuwin said that peem is also the audience in a way because he kind of gets to witness and react to almost everything that happens in the series.
the world of we are is built around peem: it's him and his boyfriend and his best friend and his best friend's boyfriend and the rest of his friends and also his boyfriend's friends. even the things that are seemingly not connected to peem in a particularly direct way are still somehow influenced by him or perceived by him, e.g. tanfang happens because phum agrees to help tan hit on fang in return for meeting up with peem, and then when tan spills the beans about them dating, peem's reaction is centered slightly more than anyone else's, even though there are people who are closer to fang and similarly close to tan in that scene. and though we get insight into phum's life too, for instance, that still somehow circles back to peem, e.g. most phumfang scenes are them literally discussing peem or talking about their parents, which still comes back to phumpeem, as phum's family problems have a huge effect on the boys' relationship.
peem is the sun of the show, and the rest are planets revolving around him or moons of the planets revolving around him in one way or another.
#maybe slightly hypocritical of me to be like 'and i'm fine with that!' cause my favourite characters are the main character and his bf#i lucked out there#but structurally this is very interesting to me#and i think this is the reason why we are manages to center friendship better than almost any other series#because peem specifically is the main character as opposed to peem and phum for example#so there is none of that initial disbalance that obviously exists when two characters who are romantically involved are mains#they don't necessarily need to put extra effort into remembering about friendship and friend groups#because the series is focusing on what is important to peem#which is his friends and his boyfriend in equal measure obviously#we are the series#archer speaks
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One thing I truly adore about Palia is the polyamory and general queerness. It's so nice that we can romance everyone so we don't miss any plots or items, but also its nice as a poly-queer person to see some representation in a game.
There is no jealousy. There is no hateful or painful breakups (as I understand it, if you break-up it is not mentioned and you restart the romance plot-line). No one makes negative comments about two pins or switching out pins.
It's so nice to see positive rep in a game and honestly such a breath of fresh air.
#palia#palia game#palia mmo#queer representation#poly representation#like I love Stardew don't get me wrong and that can be queer as well#but if you date more than one the obviously monogamous npcs get upset which is also fine!!#but in Palia I can imagine those conversations of a poly relationship#plus it makes me feel I have more control over my OC's true character#my OC is demisexual and very queer and nonbinary#so their relationship to Reth is different than Jel and yes Hodari will soon be joining that polycule and I can know in comfort that#there ARE conversations happening!! even if just in my head!#its just nice to see some good positive rep and I am so happy about it#now excuse me while I spend some more money on this great game cause I want it to stick around for as long as possible
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i don’t think rhyme’s relationship to her gender identity is particularly important to the larger picture of twewy, but i do think beat’s perception of her as a girl, as his younger sister, is very very important. cause masculinity as equal to strength is important to beat, and it explains a lot of his relationship to rhyme. rhyme protecting beat, her kindness when they were alive, succeeding at pushing him out of the way in the same way beat failed, it’s an indignity. rhyme, a young girl, his family, then his partner in the Game, like every category of ‘what a man should protect’, is stronger than beat. beat fails to protect her time and time again. and he resents that. that he’s so weak. that she had to protect him.
liiiike, what kariya says to beat after ganking rhyme, “[rhyme] isn’t gone because of us. she’s gone because of you. you failed to protect your partner. […] she protected you. gave her life for you. […] you want payback? then man up” <- thats what its all about. and ‘she’s gone because of you’ stinging twice cause he failed and that’s why she was in the Game at all. later, as a reaper, beat says to neku “you man up any yet? cause i don’t believe in hittin’ women and children” it’s cyclicalll and beat clinging to the ideal of masculinity in the face of his own powerlessness
#‘it got old— being pitied by my lil sister. so i pushed her away’#it’s an indignity!!! paved with good intentions but a blow to his pride nonetheless#beat#rhyme#twewyposting#twewy#daisukenojo bito#beat bito#rhyme bito#such to say. nonbinary rhyme could be real sure. but i do think her being a girl as far as the text is concerned is important#like as far as beat knows#the eng localization obviously uses she/her up the wazoo cause english is like that#but afaik in the orig jp rhyme isn’t obviously gendered until beat calls her his sister#so nonbinary rhyme is a fairly popular reading#which is cool and fine i just think it exists under fairly limited parameters without contradicting the text or undermining the bito’s deal#rambles#actually i recind that last bit. i think it works in way more possibilities than i first thought#but i do think ‘rhyme is out and their gender identity is respected without comment or any other changes’ specifically Would undermine stuff
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#kirby#daily kirby#my art#digital#hal laboratory#nintendo#va appeal hearing was today#not a fun time to have to try to granularly recall everything that. yknow. permanently destroyed my body and mind and life.#probably went fine? definitely cried in front of the judge but everyone was super cool about it.#also thank god my wife was there they let her give testimony as both my wife and as a doctor#(which she is)#(obviously)#but like I'm still So Sick and it's all this up and down and we're still fighting to get stabilized so I usually don't have time or energy#to like stop and look around at the quicksand I've been keeping myself afloat in this whole time#but today was very much 'hey tell me about this quicksand huh'#and it's just like a lot to deal with yknow#I'll be fine it's just A Lot#anyway shoutout to the folks who are either kind or nosy enough to read my tag rambles all the time lol#(the actual decision will still take up to 2 more years btw)#(hopefully not! but they said it could)#(although apparently a board denial isn't the end of the road anymore which is news to me)#(maybe they changed it in the 44 months since I filed for the appeal hearing lol)#(not a typo)#favorites
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Happy Pride!!!! Living Blood or Lady Mo please!
a continuation of 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43
Xuanyu disrobes unashamedly, hesitating only at the last second with the sleeve covering her left arm.
Jiang Yanli laughs. “Bit late to be modest, I think.”
“Modesty is overrated,” she returns, which is something that Zixuan would say and A-Yao would think. She slips the rest of the robes off and steps into the steaming bath, letting out a deep sigh of satisfaction.
The changes her body has undergone are even more obvious without the thick layers of the robes obscuring her form. The extra weight seems to have settled in ideal places, not only thickening her waist and limbs but settling heavily along her hips and breasts, which hadn’t exactly been small to begin with.
She sits behind Xuanyu, filling a bowl with water and then pouring it over her hair to rinse it of blood and dirt that had been hidden by her dark hair. Acting as a bathing assistant is far below her station, but Xuanyu had sent all the servants away and she doesn’t mind, really. Xuanyu is her sister, likely the only one she’ll ever have considering A-Cheng’s track record with matchmakers, and she’s been worried about her. This gives them time to speak alone. “How has your marriage with Lan Wangji been? Has he been kind?”
Xuanyu pulls a face, which isn’t encouraging. “I guess. He mostly left me alone, and then we had a couple fights and he was a jerk, and now I think he’s trying to make up for being a jerk, but it’s a little – well, it’s nice that he’s making an effort. I suppose.”
Not as good as she’d hoped, but not as bad as she’d feared. “Sect Leader Lan seems fond of you.”
“Oh, Lan Xichen is great,” she says easily. Better than reaction to Lan Wangji, but still not what Jiang Yanli had been hoping for. Then her eyes light up. “Sizhui is wonderful! I’ll give Wangji one thing, he’s raised a good kid. He’s so sweet, and a great cultivator, and he’s always trying to help out everyone around him. I’m glad Jingyi’s always hanging around – without him, I think everyone would just take advantage of Sizhui’s good nature.”
Well, that’s something. Surely Lan Wangji can’t resist Xuanyu’s charms for long, not when she dotes on his son and gets along with his brother.
“What trouble did you get into on the road?” she asks, running her hand over the wound on Xuanyu’s shoulder. It looks nearly fully healed already and there’s another mostly healed wound on her hip, a thin slice on her left arm, and the shadow of various bruises that were likely much worse a couple hours ago. It’s of course a good thing that Xuanyu has a strong golden core, but Jiang Yanli can’t help a moment of wistfulness.
Her own core never lived up to her mother’s expectations, or her own. If she’d had a stronger core, she could have given A-Ling siblings. A child should have siblings. She would have had a calmer childhood without two little brothers underfoot, but a lonelier one too.
Xuanyu shrugs, lazily scrubbing herself down. “Looks like Xiao Xingchen picked up the girl, A-Qing, while he and Song Lan were separated and was trapped in this place that was basically a ghost town.” How could he be trapped by a place that had no people? “And I’d heard some rumors so when we ran into Song Lan I helped him find Xiao Xingchen, but there was a bit of a fight with someone who didn’t want him to leave. I just happened to get caught in the crossfire, so to speak.”
She’s stretching the truth to outright lying. Before Jiang Yanli can call her on it, her stomach growls.
“Didn’t get a chance to eat on the road?” she teases.
Xuanyu flushes, ducking briefly beneath the water to hide her flaming cheeks before resurfacing. “Things were a little hectic. It may have slipped my mind.”
How has she managed to put on weight while also forgetting to eat? Perhaps Lan Wangji deserves more credit.
“I think I have some candies in my room, if you want something before the banquet,” she offers. “I know the speeches take forever.”
Her eyes light up before dimming and she slumps in the bath. “Thanks, Yanli-jie, but I better not. Sizhui gave me some on the road and I usually love them but just putting it in my mouth almost made me sick. It was awful. And weird! They’re my favorite.”
Jiang Yanli blinks then gives Xuanyu’s significantly larger chest a considering look. It could be nothing. It’s probably nothing. She hasn’t even been married a year and it doesn’t sound as if she and Lan Wangji have been seeing eye to eye.
Then again, the same could have been said about her and Zixuan.
“Can I ask you something personal, Meimei?”
Xuanyu nods. “You can ask me anything, Yanli-jie.”
“Are you and Lan Wangji having sex?”
She turns bright red and ducks beneath the water for so long that Jiang Yanli is starting to get concerned before she resurfaces, still red faced. “Um. We did once. Well – I guess, technically, it was three times, but it was only one night.”
Well. Apparently Lan Wangji has stamina on and off the battlefield.
“One moment,” she says, briefly squeezing Xuanyu’s shoulder. “I’ll be right back.”
It takes one whispered conversation with the servant outside the hall and approximately ninety seconds before her personal healer is standing in front of her. Jiang Yanli ducks back inside to see Xuanyu out of the bath, in a thin bathing robe that’s clinging to her as she wrings her hair out. “I’d like my healer to take a look at you, Meimei.”
Xuanyu freezes, slowly standing straight with a wary look on her face. “That’s really not necessary. The wounds were just superficial and they’re basically healed already.”
“It’ll be quick,” she says, because if she’s right then she can’t let Xuanyu go down to the banquet without letting her know. “She’s very discreet – she’s been my personal healer since I was a child.”
“Jiang Xingyi?” Xuanyu asks, some of her tension draining away.
Jiang Yanli nods, trying to think of some reason that Xuanyu would know her healer’s name, or her reputation, but all the servants are terrible gossips and her health is a frequent topic of derision. “Just your wrist, okay? Your golden core has changed a lot. I just want her to take a look.”
She feels bad about lying, but Xuanyu had lied to her first.
Xuanyu relaxes even further. “Okay, Yanli-jie. If it’ll make you feel better.”
“Thank you,” she smiles, then opens the door to usher Jiang Xingyi in.
The old woman doesn’t smile, but Xuanyu grins back undeterred, and says, “Hi, Granny,” before paling and adding, “uh, um. Sorry.”
Jiang Yanli feels a familiar pang of grief go through her. A-Xian had referred to Jiang Xingyi as Granny, the only disciple both bold and beloved enough to get away with it.
Jiang Xingyi ignores her, instead reaching for her wrist and pressing her fingers against it. Xuanyu fidgets, shifting from one foot to the other, but says nothing as the moments stack on top of one another.
Finally, Jiang Xingyi drops her wrist and steps back. Her stern visage breaks, a smile stretching her mouth across her face. “Congratulations, Madame Lan.”
She knew it!
“Thanks,” Xuanyu answers before wrinkling her nose. “Um. For what?”
“You are expecting,” she answers. “At least a couple months along, I believe, although I’d have to do a more thorough examination to be sure.”
Jiang Yanli moves to embrace her, but Xuanyu’s face drops and she turns dangerously pale. “What? No. That’s not possible. I can’t be.”
“Three times,” Jiang Yanli reminds her, trying to goad Xuanyu into laughter.
But instead she just shakes her head. “No, no I can’t, I – this can’t be happening,” she whispers to herself, grabbing her own arms in a white knuckled grip. “It’s not. It’s impossible. I can’t be.”
She’s young, and this wasn’t a marriage of her own choosing, and it’s so new. Of course she’s surprised and nervous. Jiang Yanli touches her elbow, intending to say something soothing, but Xuanyu collapses into her arms, gripping her waist and hiding her tears in her shoulder.
“Xuanyu!” she says, hugging her back just as fiercely, her heart breaking for the younger girl’s anguish. “Meimei, it’s okay, I know this is scary, but it’s going to be fine.”
“It’s not,” she says, voice thick with tears, “A-jie, this is awful, this is – it can’t happen! It can’t, Wangji is going to be so mad, he’s going to hate me, and everything is ruined and awful, I can’t be – I can’t! I’m going to die!”
Jiang Yanli’s whole body goes cold and she grips Xuanyu even tighter against her. “You’re going to be fine,” she says, pushing her conviction into every syllable.
No matter what Jiang Yanli has to do, Xuanyu is going to be fine.
#oh wwx#our babygirl is going through it#dw everything is going to be fine#wwx is like i'm going to die before i can have this baby and kill lan zhan's baby and he's going to hate me forever#and jyl who obviously has no context for this hears that xuanyu thinks that lwj is going to kill her#which she'd think that lwj would never do but also she saw him during war and she's not the one married to him#and everyone knows he didn't want this marriage and also made a big thing about how sizhui's position won't be usurped#jyl to herself: do i have to kill lan wangji?#prompt answers#prompts are closed#asks#anon#untamed
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if anyone has no idea what I've been talking about recently, I suggest you go to @fanonical or @nyancrimew , who explain this better than I ever could, but from what I can tell, basically staff has been ignoring reports of harassment against trans women, one member of staff was actively banning trans users, and the CEO started a smear campaign against a trans woman because she jokingly said she wished he would get exploded with hammers (you know, the kind of thing I say regularly--because he wasn't doing anything to protect trans users and hired the aforementioned transphobic staff member), claiming that it was 'a death threat' and that she was 'being violent'....nevermind that she was getting much worse anon harassment with actual death threats on the regular. And then when he banned her and she went to a different site, he followed her there to continue the smear campaign instead of being normal and dropping the subject.
#how did i do#i don't want to oversimplify or get it wrong#not a threat#genuinely though it's insane and very hypocritical of staff to call this place the queerest place on the internet and then do this#also it's so obviously retribution with her ban because like. actual death threats don't always get people banned.#and MY threats (the same level of joke as exploding hammers) have always been fine because they're obviously jokes and not real.#which makes me wonder...if I were publicly trans#would that be different? I have a nasty suspicion that it might be.
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#fucks me up that there are two whole new animals in the house that i barely know#who depend on me for everything#barely recognize me as a friend or helper#and are so incredibly incredibly fragile#i got worried for junie today because her spay incision had some swelling#and it's normal to have some and i have seen it before#but after what we just wemt through i got upset and rushed her to the vet#who said it was fine and thankfully we have free office visits#but i was so upset even though i knew it was probably normal#i look at them and i see adorable cuddly sweet TEMPORARY things and i feel like something inside me got broken somehow#and i was right all along that after it was all over i would come back but not quite as myself#i just hadn't fully understood the extent#we are keeping them and it sort of had to happen when it did but i think it was too early for me#they are so cute and when they do cuddle it's so sweet and obviously i would fight for them as hard as i would for Fancy#because that's just how the deal works and it isn't about you at all it's about how they each carry a little world inside them just as we d#and that deserves equal respect and care regardless of my personal affections#but i look at them and i see little creatures that don't belong here and are foreign in some fundamental way#and that they will be gone in just a little while and things will go back to how they were#which is impossible#we will settle in and i doubt anything i am feeling is abnormal but I'm really struggling and i feel so bad about that#i don't know#it's just a lot to deal with#and i feel very lonely and sad about it#and under it all the sick feeling of having JUST held all three lads as they passed and the VISCERAL reality of it#and knowing one day if everything goes just right i will be holding them too#dear god life is so fragile and every living thing is just as mortal as any other
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I loveeee being a tourist! When people are all “wahhhh I only go to HIDDEN LOCAL GEMS when I travel i could never be seen in my TENNIS SHOES with my CAMERA out god that’s soooo embarrassing!” I giggle a little. It’s the ‘I’m not like other girls’ of traveling. Like sorry you want to be special but I can’t relate at all. Of course it’s nice to get off the beaten path and go to local spots and I make sure to do a nice mix! but at the end of the day I also want to stand in the too long queues to see all the tourist spots and see for myself whether they are “overhyped” (and sometimes they are! But often they are not!) and take a stupid photo of me holding up the tower of the Pisa (or the equivalent at any travel destination). and sometimes yes I even want to go to the silly chain restaurant even though ‘I can get it at home’ because I like it and it’s my vacation. and I’m I want to do all of that wearing my comfortable albeit mildly ugly tennis shoes so my feet don’t hurt! And I have a great doing it!
#this goes without saying but obviously this is different than people who complain about ways in which tourists are genuinely disrespectful#it’s very much not cool to disrespect local norms and cultures#but it’s fine to look like a obvious tourist when you ARE a tourist. sometimes I will stare at that map way too damn long!!#its okayyyyy#also everyone should travel in the way that makes happy but being pretentious about other travelers is lame as hell#like who CARES
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List of classes I'm taking just for judaism:
Intro to judaism
Intro to judaism (this one's different, I promise (also it's upcoming))
Hebrew and yet another ITJ
Miscellaneous jewish topics
Help 😭
#jumblr#jew by choice#jewish conversion#personal thoughts tag#i'm enthusiastic about this don't get me wrong!#at the same time. holy shit#you can ask me about the differences between the ITJ classes but that's essentially what they all are#the hebrew class is SUPPOSED to be a mix between hebrew learning and ITJ but it's almost always just hebrew#which is fine obviously but that's what it's billed as
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