#which is exactly what i need rn
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psychoticwillgraham · 2 years ago
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ok why did nobody tell me that some of ru’s xmas songs are actually legit bops?? im having so much just jamming in my living room rn lol
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skullinacowboyhat · 1 year ago
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some happy twins (enjoy the fluff while it lasts)
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charliespringverse · 2 months ago
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i think it should be possible to scream without making any noise or disturbing anyone or inviting any questions . just sometimes . as a treat .
#hhhhHHHGHGHHHHHH#jay screams into the void#(deeply personal rant incoming feel free to ignore)#a friend of mine has just been undiagnosed with bpd which . lovely for them but it sure as fuck invites a Lot of questions#suddenly a great deal of previous shitty behaviour that was excused on the basis of bpd has a lot more to answer for#(obligatory I Know BPD Isn't An Excuse To Treat People Like Shit . im aware . i have bpd myself and i have v high standards re my behaviour)#(however allowances were made bc they were unmedicated & out of therapy through no fault of their own)#(and our whole group has enough experience with untreated mental illness to understand that it can make u a bitch sometimes)#but yeah no there have been a LOT of instances of b&w thinking + manipulation + unfair judgement + high emotion + snap reactions#and every situation Could be explained by untreated bpd and the bad times have never been prolonged or often enough to outweigh the good#but Hoo Boy if that wasn't bpd then what the FUCK was it#like either the new psychiatrist is wrong (possible but i seem to be the only one questioning it) or they're just Like That#and again . not enough to outweigh their numerous positive and loveable traits#but the whole group has been destabilised on a number of occasions due to their actions during a bad spell#and i'm really not sure Any Other Explanation is enough to justify that#ah well . this seems like the kind of thing that will eventually come up during a sleepover heart to heart#but rn i'm stuck in a bubble of MAJOR rsd & brainfuck abt it . which is unfortunate bc now is exactly the time i Don't need brainfuck#anyways ✨ goodnight tumblrinas i am . kind of hoping nobody read this bc i fear i sound like a bitch#i am genuinely happy for their undiagnosis it seems to have put many things into perspective for them & theyre v happy about it#i'm just . uncomfy w some aspects of it that i have only been halfway brave enough to discuss with them personally#That's One To Bring Up With My Therapist In A Few Weeks#Bit Of A Shame I'm No Longer In Therapy And Now Have Only 2 Quarterly Reviews Left Before I'm Discharged From The Service
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gaydexvocaloid · 1 month ago
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hihi, sorry if youve gotten this question before, but would you mind sharing what kind of laptop you use to make your covers? trying to get synthv/vocaloid for my birthday but i wanna know which laptop is good for it
hihiii dw i haven’t gotten this ask before!! okay so i don’t know the specifics exactllly but it’s a HP laptop with a AMD Ryzen 5 7520U processor/graphics card? i think . it has like 8GB memory/ram and i wanna say 150GB something storage, if you want even more like SPECIFIC specifics when i open my laptop again tomroeow i can try investigate in my laptops settings LOL . just send another ask abt it and i’ll reply to it once i can get more info :3
my laptop runs it pretty well, sometimes it eats my cpu but yk . it also runs roblox which is awesome . so like . it’s pretty good! i think it was about £600 originally but i got it in september last year during a like.. student sale thing, so i got it for like £400, it works well tho for what it is!! i don’t know much abt laptops so i got a friend who studies computers to help me pick this one :3
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jrueships · 3 months ago
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guess whos not going in at all this week, actually
#MY MANAGER EMAILED LIKE 2 HOURS B4 I HAD TO GO IN#she finally changed my schedule (1 day) to the night shift today#(i emailed her to be safe just kinda casually reaffirming im going in at the new time & then asking if any other shifts wanted 2 be changed#bcs that sounds great to me whstever option she goes with#she ignored that question & i get a new email from her asking if i completed a training. lets called it DOC#basically a long time ago she said 'i will send you DOC instructions soon' .. a few days pass and i get three 50 paged packets#one is called NAVIGATING DOC#im like oh ok cool that must be the DOC training shes talking abt bcs the other 2 packets were abt various trainings#NAH BRUH. APPARENTLY THE DAY IM SUPPOSED TO GO IN. SHE MESSAGES ME SOME ENTIRELY ALIEN PROGRAM#and is like 'u completed this right? cus if u didnt u cant come in today.'#LIKE?? MAYBE I WOULDA IF U SENT THE SHIT#but it's also like. dam i shouldve emailed prompting her to send what she said she would n clarifying BUT FUCK#WHY DO I GOTTA?? IM NOT THE MANAGER#she literally told me the name of the program rn thru email so i type it in and see like four hour long modules to complete#mind u i aint never even been informed a WHISPER abt this new program. nothings even labeled DOC TRAINING#but my struggle is. was i notified this?? and i just didnt see??? was i supposed to clarify with her what the DOC training was exactly??#the only thing ive heard abt doc training b4 this is 'i need to send u DOC training soon' in EMAIL. so i expected an alert#abt THE DOC TRAINING... in an EMAIL notification. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS#idk man#i dont even care bro like im busy as hell & the work is just to build clinic hours so i dont care abt the money factor#it's just like. can we get this first day jitters thing over with already?? im so over this bro#yaddayadda i emailed her an apology n ill be on that ASAP shit. but i did let her know i am basically justnnow seeing this site#n if there was any email or notif that couldve/tried to inform me of its existence 2 pls let me know / figure out how to find it#so the issue doesnt occur again & i dont have to keep botherinher which im so srry of bcs med is stress n shes just trying to get by#but still bro im a lil miffed bcs she probably thinks im stupid now and now im wondering if i AM#bcs WDYM ONLINE MODULES. AINT NOBODY SAID SH IT EVEN ABT THE EXISTENCE OF THEM!!! i wouldve pressed harder 4 clarification#if i knew it was an ONLINE MODULE i had to look out for on some randomass site i didnt even know the name of until now#instead of the EMAIL UVE BEEN 'COMMUNICATING' WITH ME ON#ARREGHHHHHHHH IM NOT STUPID. I SWEAR IM NOT STUPID FUCCK MY BAKA LIFE
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spookyrea · 3 months ago
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NEW FIC GONNA START BEEPING AND THEN EXPLODE 🎉🎉🎉🎊🎊🎊💣💣💣
bestie not one but two >:)
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just pray for me because both are in the worst stage which is the "90% done except for the connective tissue" stage. like what do you mean there need to be scene transitions. lame. have 20 loosely connected scenes instead.
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wayfinderships · 3 months ago
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I'll be so doomed the day I ever get a girl f/o
#pan rambles#I say doomed in like. a positive way. In a “I'd get way too flustered” way#I haven't really talked about it here because I don't feel like I owe it to people to talk about my attraction and the complexities of it#But I'll talk about it a bit bc I just need to ramble#I'm 99% I'm Aro. At the very least some flavor of it. I don't care about finding a specific label- I've spent many years stressing about it#And I don't really feel like spending even more years stressing about it#Despite being aro- I like the idea of being in a romantic relationship one day#Even if I know it'll probably never happen#Not only am I perfectly content with my QPR rn but also because I don't think most people would be open to the idea of dating an Aro#Which hey! Is completely fair! I know the love I feel is different than what I think most people feel#Though I'd argue that even if it's not exactly the same type- It's still plenty strong.When I love my friends it's a strong feeling#I'd do anything for my friends and I love them so much that I'd literally do anything to see them happy! The love I feel for them is strong#But it's not. Romantic y'know? Augh I'm getting distracted!#Back to my initial point!!! I can't tell if I like girls or not!#I'm not exactly in a safe place irl to try to experiment with those feelings so I've been pushing it aside for so long!#But I think there's definitely a chance I like girls in the same Aro™ way that I like guys!#I'm not gonna try to find a label for it because I don't want to label it but yeah#There's definitely a few crushes and f/os that I've headcanoned as Transfem before#But I've never romantically f/od a girl#Afksnfksnfkskd Ok yeah that's enough of Panchi rambling for tonight!#I just needed to let that out!#Thank you to anyone who listened to my Rambling about Attraction and stuff-
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euclydya · 4 months ago
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looking at the past few days like What the fuck was any of that. are we okaaaaay
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edge-oftheworld · 2 months ago
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while we’re in the spirit of celebrating basic autonomy over things like hair I know most of us are too young to have participated in anything at the time but as a society we really need to apologise to britney for a certain event circa 2007
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topaztimes · 7 months ago
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Hi this is a vent post! Continue scrolling if you'd rather not see that
#Giving time...#Still more time...#Wouldn't want to plague any previews#Maybe another filler. Just for some fun#Is this enough?#It certainly is now#Alright start:#I'm so bored. I am so incredibly; intrinsically; entirely bored. I have been taught the same thing for four years straight#'It's only four years!' that's literally a quarter of my lifetime right there. My formative years are being spent stressed and in a state /#/of constant self-loathing#I was watching a YT video and the phrase 'attention-starved STEM major' came up and I was like. Yea#What am I even working towards? The hope that my version of capitalist hell isn't as bad as everyone else's? I'm just so sick of not /#/having a stable future what with politics and normal working people becoming more and more oppressed#I don't want to work and that's not because I'm lazy. It's because my brain is recognising that there is no reward anymore#I used to have such a little spark in Yr7. I remember having things to say and wanting to share everything I've done#I still do that now; sure I do. I don't enjoy it though#I thought I liked drawing but I'm realising that all I really like is the attention. I COULD draw things I like drawing... but then I /#/ don't get attention which my mind then classifies as zero reward#I'm very tired of doing things for no credit; reward; or validation. This is becoming a theme#Then I wonder what I'm doing wrong. What part of the algorithm am I not hitting. Then I realise that I'm just not marketable in a way#God. I'm seriously breaking rn. It's not even only because of GCSEs#It's just a culmination of doing all these things to be told that I am unworthy of Having as a result. It doesn't matter if I'm smart; my /#/ parents still don't own their house and can't afford to pay for heating most days#Literally what am I doing this for#And then I realise that all of this is ALSO attention-seeking behaviour! I'm my own worst problem; I recognise exactly what's wrong with /#/ myself but the body wants what it wants. And what it wants is validation that I'm not going to get in this life#Hi guys! Maybe don't interact. That could fix me#Wean me off of needing virtual numbers just to feel something. Jesus#I can't even be happy with the things that I make for myself. Because I make nothing for myself anymore#It's just a whole sad existence of an expected 12hr+ of school every day until I get a job I guess. Then it's 12hr+ of job every day until
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doctorwhoisadhd · 10 months ago
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what is it with torchwood and "secret conspiracy to control the entire world blah blah anti semitism" plotlines .
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cloudbends · 2 months ago
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well. (Bashes my head into the wall over and over again)
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famewolf · 2 months ago
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so glad that I finally picked up Cavern of Dreams it's so charming?? it's been sitting in my Steam Library for the perfect rainy day and that just happened to finally be today.
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it feels like any nostalgic n64 game that brought me a lot of comfort growing up and the music is so peaceful
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and the little guy you play as is adorable. the mechanics feel good, even as someone who isn't the best at platformers.
I'm only at the very beginning but it's so fun to speed around and figure out the puzzles.
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toboldlywrite · 3 months ago
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I want to talk about some characters but idk what I want to talk about and idk who I want to talk about. I need to get their vibes down but the only way to do that is talking about them but idk what to talk about because idk the vibes yet!
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dogwise · 1 year ago
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lunar-fey · 4 months ago
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oh yeah not sure where we're at w money btw. we might be able to get some of it back but we wont know anything concrete until friday
#the fey speaks#which is why i haven't been reblogging the d0n0 post#like. i got $115 total and we Do need to buy groceries before friday and also some of it has already been spent on gas for getting to work#so what i'm saying is the support i got so far has already be immensely helpful#i am just not sure how much more help i will need or by when. or anything. until friday.#and i'd hate to keep askin only to end up not needing it ig. that said if anyone still wants to send me a few bucks while understanding tha#i won't say no. there are many things i need money for in this world rn. like a new belt. been thinking abt a cane. but idk how much it#would help so i haven't been able to justify the cost to myself#but like. there's probably better things you could be doing with your money rn.#also its been really hard for me to get info bc no one (my parents. whose bank acct it was.) wants to fucking talk about it#like. i live here too idk i think i should be allowed to know like what days bills are due and exactly how much they cost!#bc originally i was told (by my mom) that Literally All of our bills were due this past monday. and we would have#no power water or gas. but we still do. somehow. so idfk#and she won't talk to me abt it if i ask she just Stops Responding or walks away#and if i try to ask dad he just responds “i don't know” or starts crying. or like self loathing spiral#so basically. even if we get 100% of the original money back#its ALSO possible we will have a shit tone of late fees and overdraft fees to pay. no clue : )
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