#exactly what I need rn
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#heard they’re both pretty camp and fun#which is like#exactly what I need rn#thank you for voting ily
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Omg new Charli XCX it’s time for annoying bitch summer
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train has been delayed by an hour n a half. my ordeal being trapped in enclosed space w people i don't know continues to lengthen out in front of me...
#exactly what i need rn#fuck off lou#my post#in all waiting rooms on earth there will be a screaming toddler
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I have just handed in my last assignment so this means VAKANTIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#and tonight I have a gala!!#which means I will look so pretty!! and get so drunk!!!#with my lovely friends!!!#exactly what I need rn
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hello gaylord
Sup bitch
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NO MORE ASSOCIATING THINGS WITH FEMMES ONLY BECAUSE THEY ARE PINK!HYPERFEM FEMMES ARE GREAT AND I LOVE YOU CAMPY FEMMES WHO EMBODY PINK BUT ALSO JESUS CHRIST CAN YOU GUYS NOT GO MORE THAN ONE DAY W/O TRYING TO SHOEHORN FEMMES INTO BEING ONLY PINK UWU BABIES. I AM FEMME AS IN GRASS AS IN DIRT AS IN TREE BARK AS IN WEEDS SPROUTING THROUGH THE SIDEWALK CEMENT. FEMME AS IN GENDER NONCONFORMITY AS IN FUCK YOU MY FEMININITY IS WHAT *I* SAY IT IS. FEMME AS IN DEPTH AND DARKNESS AND WARMTH AND TERROR. FEMME AS IN CAVES. FEMME AS IN LIGHTNING. FEMME AS IN AN AMALGAMATION OF TRAITS THAT I HAVE DECIDED ARE FEMININE REGARDLESS OF WHAT SOCIETY SAYS. FUCK IS IT THAT HARD TO UNDERSTAND?!???
#personal#i am emotional yes#over the years ive had this blog I've made a few posts abt being femme#nd whether they're serious or jokey..... inevitably someone in the tags goes “ohhh yeah bc pink”#or in the case of what inspired this post: someone going “what about the pink ones” on my praying mantis post#and im just.#sick of it. im sick of femme being equated to pink and frilly girlie behaviors.#im sick of femme being equated to skirts and heels. to makeup. to skincare. to pristine nails exactly almond shaped.#im sick of ppl acting like All femmes aspire to this shit. im sick of femms being reduced to this shit.#and i love pink! i love pink! my phone theme is quite literally just black and pink all over.#im just. so tired of any expression of Femme identity being shoehorned into being a Specific type of femininity#especially as someone who DOES get dysphoric wearing skirts. wearing dresses. embodying the femme aesthetic yall are so set on making#if u guys wanna rb this i truly dont care#i just needed to scream#and this is one small thing#but the 2nd largest category of anon hate i have gotten since making this blog is str8 up homophobia from other “queer” folks#saying i cant be femme bc of how i present. calling me slurs (and using them as such) bc they cant understand femme as anything but that#my wife and i have our users in our personal discord server set as 2 different things of anon hate ive gotten#i have had OTHER FEMMES tell me i am not femme. femmes who Know im femme who still call me butch. femmes who ive corrected and been blocked#-by bc of it. the number 1 largest demographic of queerfolk who have me blocked rn is TME femmes who embody pink also#and i dont think its a coincidence at all. (and i know this bc i go to try and follow these ppl bc they get rbed on my dash & i cant)#and ik their blogs arent deleted bc some of them don't block my wife (tall. white. butch) and it cant be politics cause her and i rb#a lot of the same political shit (fuck. i think she rbs More than i do even. this is genuinely mainly a nsft blog)#and usually i don't say anything but im having a bad day so i get to be angry about this and if anyone fucking tries me i will block u#idc if we've been mutuals 4ever. im judt so tired of feeling like i am not Enough as a femme bc i dont embody this shit#im sick of this lameass lip service to he/him gnc femmes etc when the thin white 50s housewife femme is still what is preferred and loved#im sick of this lamesss lip service when y'all feel entitled to theorizing on other femmes genders bc u cant conceptualize a femme who does#wanna be hypetfeminine. im sick of it. im sick of it. im sick of it.#celebrity bun
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At Victory's End
summary: You help Hunter to recover from the lasting effects of Hemlock’s torture on Tantiss.
pairing: sergeant hunter (tbb) x reader
tags: season 3 finale spoilers, mentions of torture, trauma, hurt/comfort, angst, fluff
rating: T
word count: 3.051k
main masterlist • hunter masterlist
You paced the floor of the shuttle as you kept your gaze fixed on the opened hatch. You, Echo, and Wrecker had already gotten the clones settled, and now you were only waiting on Hunter, Crosshair, and Omega—assuming all had gone well.
It was a waiting game, and it felt like you were losing.
Until you finally saw the image of the three of them in the distance, with Omega walking in between the two brothers. Hunter and Crosshair were both hunched over as if they were in pain, a sight that instantly brought a fearful chill to your chest as you began to hurry down the ramp to meet them in the middle.
“Sunny!” Omega called out your nickname with sweet relief. She ran forward to meet you, and you instantly caught her in your embrace.
You closed your eyes as you cupped the back of her head and let out a relieved exhale. “It’s so good to have you back, sweet angel.” You gained the strength to pull away from her as you held her shoulders and gave her a quick once-over. “Are you okay?”
Omega nodded, gesturing with her head to the two men behind her. “Thanks to them.”
You smiled, though your lips instantly straightened in severity again when you took note of Hunter and Crosshair’s weary faces. Your voice lowered as you asked Omega another question. “How are they?”
Omega grimaced, and that was enough for your worry to spike even more than before. You had already been caught up to speed on Crosshair’s hand by Wrecker, but he had told you that he didn’t remember much else. All he might’ve heard was Hunter’s pained screaming, which had already had you seized by the most horrible feeling imaginable.
“Sunny,” Crosshair suddenly huffed out, as if it had taken him a great effort just to speak. Omega stepped aside to let you face him, and your heart fell straight into your stomach. Crosshair was nearly keeled over at the weight Hunter was placing on him—his deadweight. Hunter’s eyes were also fluttering closed in a way that made it seem like he might fall unconscious at any moment.
You recovered from your shock at the sight and took Hunter from Crosshair, wrapping one of his arms around your shoulders and letting your adrenaline take his heavy weight. He let out a half-hearted groan as his free hand gripped his side, and his head fell towards yours. Your voice was a haunted version of its usual self as you spoke. “What happened?”
Hunter couldn’t speak. Your throat tightened with worry as Crosshair offered an explanation. “Hemlock.” He let out a grunt of his own as Omega offered him support. “He… put us under the conditioning.”
Your brow shot up at that. “Conditioning?”
Crosshair exhaled and shook his head. “Torture. A shock treatment to encourage conditioning. And for Hunter…” He trailed off. He didn’t need to say it.
But you did. “His senses.”
The words barely made a sound as they left your tongue, and you were immediately hit with a rush of concern like never before. It stole your breath for a moment, but you caught yourself with a quick inhale and focused on Hunter. His head was almost fully leaning against yours, the small pieces of hair soaked by the rain still sticking to his forehead. His eyes had almost fully closed.
“Stay with me, love,” you murmured, willing all your strength to push the two of you ahead towards the shuttle. “You’re okay now. I’m here.”
After a few slow steps, Hunter tried to speak, and the sound sent a sharp jolt of relief to your heart. “Sun…”
You stopped for a moment and lifted a hand to his head, sweeping away some of the wet hair from his face. “Yeah. It’s me.” You ran your knuckles over his cheek and smiled at him the best you could.
Hunter’s eyes fluttered again as he tried to keep them open. His own relief still wasn’t lost on you. “She’s okay.”
You looked over his shoulder and saw Omega and Crosshair behind you, as if they were waiting to help you and Hunter if you needed it. You smiled even wider and nodded. “That’s right. You and Crosshair saved her.”
You began to push onwards again, slowly but surely closing the distance to the open hatch. Hunter had one more thing to say as you did so. “You’re okay?”
You nodded at him. “Yes, Hunter. I’m just fine.” You tightened your grasp on his arm around your shoulders. “Let’s just focus on you for once. Okay?”
Hunter huffed then groaned, his head resting against yours again as you got him on board. The obvious fight he was putting up gave you hope, but you still felt devastated just by the thought of what he’d gone through. That type of torture would be unbearable for anyone, but for someone with Hunter’s enhanced senses, you couldn’t even begin to imagine how painful it was.
The thought alone brought tears to your eyes that you swiftly fought away. Everything was okay, and he would be okay, too—even if it was hard to see him in such a state.
As you got the two of you onto the shuttle, you were immediately approached by Echo, who took Hunter’s other arm. “How is he?” Echo asked you.
“Responsive.” You looked over at Hunter and watched his eyes flutter again.
“That’s good.” Echo gestured with his head over to where Wrecker was sitting on the floor. “We’ve got Wrecker some med patches, and he’s in pretty good shape.”
“I’m glad to hear that.” Your tone was genuine, despite the way your worried mind was still set on Hunter. “Crosshair seems like he’s doing all right, too.”
“Good.” Echo’s voice revealed his own relief. “I was worried when Wrecker told me about his hand.”
Your heart ached for Crosshair for a moment. “Yeah. Looks like they at least sealed it off for him.”
Echo gave you a quick glance, his gaze darting over to Hunter as he did so. “I can help you get him somewhere quiet. I think he needs that.”
You offered Echo an appreciative smile. “I agree.”
It was then that Hunter tried to speak up again. “I’m fine.”
You raised an eyebrow at him. “Sure.” Your hand on his arm lowered until his fingers were entwined with your own. “But you would still love to be somewhere quiet right now, wouldn’t you?”
Hunter closed his eyes and nodded, and for a moment, you feared that he had finally fallen under. You studied him until his eyes fluttered again, and you exhaled your fearful breath as Echo continued to lead the two of you up the lift and to a private corridor.
“Here.” Echo helped you set Hunter down, and groaned at the movement. Once he was settled, his hand still in yours, Echo stood back up. “I’ll get a medpac for you. Once I’m sure everyone’s on board, I’ll be taking us straight to Pabu.”
You could’ve cried at the sheer relief you felt that this nightmare was truly coming to an end, but your concern for Hunter’s current state overpowered it. “Thank you, Echo.”
Echo nodded, setting a reassuring hand on your shoulder before he disappeared from the corridor. You took a deep breath for composure as you focused on Hunter, whose eyes were closed once again as his head rested against the interior hull.
You were gentle as you released his hand to instead hold the sides of his face. “Hunter.” Your voice was so soft even you nearly missed it, your thumbs brushing under his eyes in another attempt to gain his attention. When he didn’t make a move or say a word, you let your concern get the best of you. “Hunter, please.”
His eyes at least opened at your desperation. You wished so badly you could stay as calm for him as he always did for you and everyone else, but with the way things had gone ever since Omega was taken on Pabu, it was truly an impossible task. Each minute that ticked away without him or the others near you made you expect the worst. To see him alive was a relief, but to see him so out of it was still terrifying.
Hunter tried to speak, but he quickly tightened his jaw as his expression contorted in pain. You watched him fight to keep his eyes open again, his teeth gritting in his effort to do so. Your brow knit together as you gave him a once-over, and quickly, you saw what was happening. His right hand shook just as Crosshair’s used to, but it was more violent in the immediate aftershocks of what had happened to him.
You took his trembling hand and lifted it to your face, loosening his fingers for him and splaying them across your cheek. Your gaze remained in his the entire time, and as you secured his hand to you, you watched the pain and fear slowly begin to leave his brown eyes. It filled you with a relief to potent that you were yet again brought to tears, but you still refused to shed them.
“There you go.” Your praise for him was another gentle whisper as you ran soothing circles over the back of his hand. “It’s okay. You’re okay now.”
Hunter’s eyes closed again, but that time, you could tell it was purely in his own relief. You pressed a gentle kiss to his gloved palm even as your worry began to exchange itself for an all-consuming rage.
Hemlock had done this to him. Not just him, either, but also Wrecker, Crosshair, and so many others. He had to be dead. You wouldn’t stand for it if he wasn’t.
As if sensing your thoughts, Hunter opened his eyes to look at you the best he could. “He’s gone.” He swallowed hard as his weak thumb ran over your cheek. You couldn’t help smiling at the sweet action. “We… made sure of it.”
“Good.” You held tight to his hand and wrist as you composed yourself with another breath. “We couldn’t leave him alive. Not after all he’s done.”
Before you or Hunter could say anything more, you heard Echo returning. You lowered Hunter’s hand from your face to look at him. Echo was carrying medpac as well as a blanket, both of which he handed to you with a sympathetic smile. “Here you go, Sunny.”
You set the supplies down to hold Echo’s hands between yours for a moment. “Thank you, Echo.”
Echo tilted his head at you. “You know you don’t have to thank me.” He nodded at you. “We’re family.”
That made your lips widen even more. “We are.”
Echo returned your smile before he stepped away, guaranteeing your and Hunter’s privacy for now. You set your focus on caring for him, beginning with the removal of his wet pieces of armor. He looked as if he was going to try to help you, but you stopped him, setting a firm hand on his chest until he relaxed once again. There was a small smile that tugged on his lips as you continued your work, not stopping until all the upper pieces of his armor had been set aside. You then set the blanket around his shoulders, pulling it close together under his neck.
You held on to the corners of the fabric and kept yourself close to him. Studying the flecks of his eyes that were still slightly dazed, you began to crumble as your adrenaline wore off. There were too many close calls. Hunter had been tortured, and you weren’t there to help him. He had to face down the man who had done it, not just to him but to many of your loved ones, and you weren’t there to support him.
It had been a long, terrifying mission, yet he was still here, and so were you.
Hunter was the one to act first. His hand rose to the side of your face as he encouraged you to rest your forehead against his. You remained gentle, still wary of his frayed senses as you touched him. “It’s okay.” Hunter’s voice was no more than a rasp, but it was still much stronger than it had been before. That gave you hope, a feeling so sweet that it only made the tears in your eyes even harder to resist. “Just like you said before.”
His other arm wrapped itself around you, encouraging you to fully relax into his side. His head was still resting against your own even as he cradled you against him. Hunter took the corner of the blanket on your side and lifted it so that the two of you were sharing its warmth.
You began to shake your head, the swirling emotions of the day—especially the guilt—beginning to swallow you whole. “I should be helping you.”
Hunter raised his brow at you. “You are helping me.” He closed his eyes and pressed his lips to your forehead, keeping them there even as he went on. “You were all I needed.”
The sweetness of his words nearly healed you in a single, softening blow, but another angle you took on them shattered that illusion in a heartbreaking way. “You needed me,” you nearly cried, “and I wasn’t there.”
Hunter lifted himself from your head, his gaze looking horrified as he realized exactly what you were going through. “No.” He shook his head and cupped the side of your face with his gloved hand. “No, no, no. That’s not what I meant.” His thumb caught one of your tears the moment it left your lashes. “I’m relieved you weren’t there. It was dangerous. I…” he paused, circling his jaw as he considered his words, “I snapped when I realized Omega was there, and that she was in danger. I even impaled one of the assassins.”
You blinked through your tears and tightened your jaw in hardly concealed anger for your enemies. “Good.”
Hunter huffed, clearly amused by your vengeful spirit as he went on. “What I meant was…” Hunter had to pause again. His expression began to fall in a worry so genuine that it made your chest ache all over again. “I didn’t know what had happened to you. After we got Hemlock and saved Omega, I knew that everyone was okay—except for you.” He closed his eyes and rested his forehead against yours again. “I needed to know.”
You set your hand over his, hoping to reassure him. “I’m okay.”
Hunter reopened his eyes and lifted the corner of his mouth. “Now I know. And, as you can see, it’s already helped me recover.” He ran his thumb over your cheek again as he nodded, minding your head against his own. “I’m okay, too.”
Still, the memory of Wrecker describing Hunter’s screams mixed with what you had already seen and inferred was too much for you to handle. Your vision began to blur again as you spoke through the knot in your throat. “I’m sorry this happened to you.” You closed your eyes and resisted the urge to tremble in your utter grief for him. “I’m so sorry.”
Hunter held you more closely, his hand moving from your cheek to your chin to gently tilt your head up more at him. It encouraged you to reopen your eyes and meet his warm, calming gaze. “You never have to apologize on behalf of our enemies.” His eyes lowered from yours for a moment before he raised them again. “It wasn’t easy, but we did it. We completed the mission.” Hunter’s lips began to stretch in a warm smile that you hadn’t seen in a long, long time. “We’re all free.”
As the truth of his words began to sink in, you returned his smile, relief finally pouring over you in uncontrollable waves. No longer was the sickening devastation of what he had been through; instead, all you could feel was the sweet, sweet feeling of a victory that was well-earned. “We did it.”
Hunter’s gaze glittered more as he watched you share in his joy. His thumb ran over your chin as he went on. “Now that we’re free…” his nose brushed yours, “how does a lifetime on Pabu sound?”
You could’ve sobbed right there at the idea of the dream you’d longed for actually coming true, but you were too caught up in your shared affection to give in to anything except for him. “That sounds perfect.”
With that, Hunter kissed you with all the strength he had left, each movement of his lips against yours a gentle promise of what was still to come. You were more than happy to lose yourself in him and the future that was finally in reach, even if all you had to grasp onto physically in that moment was his wet locks of hair. You took your time with him just as he did with you, knowing that at long last, it was finally on your side.
When you parted, you stayed close together, your hands braced upon his chest as you raised your brow at him. A genuine wave of concern washed over you as you spoke to him. “Was that too overwhelming for your senses?”
Hunter offered a reassuring smile in return. “Only in the best way.” He gave you a quick kiss before he encouraged you to lean fully against him, silently urging you to seek rest with him in a way he desperately needed. You obliged, your head resting upon the inside of his shoulder and chest as you closed your eyes in sweet relief.
It hadn’t been easy, and it sure as hell would still take lots of healing for everyone, but it was truly worth it. All of you were finally free, and you were going to take advantage of every sacrifice that made your freedom possible—starting with the time you and Hunter had been given to simply rest.
main masterlist • hunter masterlist
hunter tag list: @zenrobbins0021 @cw80831 @yunggoblin @maddiedrmr
#this is exactly what i need to do for him rn okay??? okay.#tbb hunter#sergeant hunter#tbb hunter x reader#tbb hunter x you#sergeant hunter x reader#sergeant hunter x you#the bad batch fanfiction#the bad batch fic#dindjarindiaries#the bad batch spoilers#tbb spoilers
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Probably the most powerful expression Oda drew on Law because how many times have we seen him so broken and desperate. That's a boy who lost everyone within a single night along with his faith in humanity - spilling out his heart in front of a total stranger just so he can somehow evade re-experiencing this pain:
And this time it struck him worse . Now there's guilt along with grief because he brought the grim reaper to Cora himself.
Vergo is now dead and Doflamingo in Impel Down - but this isn't something you heal from in lifetime.
Years after, same story. Oda struck the same wound again, took away his sword and hat while at it, then left him in salt water.
#so. today marks a year since law was last seen in the manga#I saw the law crying panel on twitter and teared up because theres no way he isn't going through that exact feeling deep inside rn#a devil fruit user. suffocating under water. wounds exposed to salt. exactly what he's going through inside and out#1 am feels#OK feels aside. for law to 'proceed by himself' he needs some words of assurance that his crews aren't dead or captured by BB#since we saw akainu receiving the news - it's possible that HP are arrested and Law will get their updates from newspaper#one piece meta#mine#trafalgar law#trafalgar d. water law#donquixote rosinante#one piece heart pirates#op meta
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oh carp they put sonic the hedgehog into webfishing?
#art#sonic fanart#sth#sonic the hedgehog#webfishing#webfishing art#my ass CANNOT resist adding random textures to my art its my treat for me. For meeeee#this is my second ever art in webfishing so its a little messy but i love it anyway <3#i have a hyperfixation so of course the first thing i sit down to draw (the first was a gift doodle of my friend's fish friend :)) was soni#covers face in hands hahah#so awesome#POP ART !!! or something. i need to look at more pop art to figure out what exactly the genre is. i probably like it#no id#im too tired rn#pixel art#shoutout to the person who already drew sonic and posted it on the webfishing steam community page that slayed
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we haven't seen a dorian and orym who've confessed their feelings and have openly talked about how much they love and care about each other on the battlefield yet, dorian whose never felt this kind of love before but knows he has to protect it and orym who Has felt this kind of love before and has had it ripped away from him and is gonna do everything he possibly can to never have that love taken from him again and will hold onto it with a white knuckled grip
#*#critical role#dorym#ignoring the possibility of death rn btw I DONT WANNA HEAR IT#at least not right at this moment 😭#i need to pick apart liam's brain to know exactly how orym feels about falling in love again#like this must be so exciting and thrilling and scary and anxious esp going into this fight knowing he could lose someone he loves Again#and dorian feeling a million things at once bc this is the first time he's ever felt like this and he doesn't quite know what to do or say#but he knows he needs to keep this person safe and alive and healthy and the absolute madness he must be feeling
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What are your headcanons about Marcille's mom if you have any? It's interesting that what drew Donato to her was cause she lived the history he studied, or that was said somewhere at least. She must've had an interesting life.
so this was going to be just a normal answer but then I realized I have a Lot of Things To Say. so here goes, a compilation of what we know for a fact from the canon, what I've extrapolated from the visual cues and details, and my theories based on all of that.
Things we know for a fact about Marcille's mother because they were explicitly stated in the manga and supplemental materials:
She was a court mage for a Tall-man kingdom at the southern part of the Northern Continent
Donato, a court historian, fell in love with her because she had lived through the history he was studying, and he courted her for 17 years (age 15 to 32) before getting married
She was a cheerful person who rarely showed extreme emotion and took things as they came
She always cooked a huge meal for Marcille on her birthdays
She remarried a gnome after Donato's death and a short distance away from Marcille's childhood home
Pipi, Marcille's pet bird, was actually older than Marcille and originally belonged to her mother (bird died at 62)
She was extremely heartbroken when Donato died and ultimately ended up instilling a deep fear of mortality in Marcille with her words
the only time she showed extreme emotion in front of her family was when Donato could no longer eat his favourite dish near the end of his life.
She scolded Marcille for being cruel to ants (implying she can have a stern side when needed)
Things that are explicitly shown but mostly through visual cues
She has a very distinctive style of dress always involving a ribbon choker (mirroring Marcille's habit of always wearing a matching choker with any of her outfits that don't cover her neck)
She was almost stereotypically good at housekeeping and traditionally "wifely" things (very frequently depicted wearing an apron or doing some domestic chore when not at work, seems to have been an avid cook).
She knits? (also, note the affectionate smile as she's looking at Donato and Marcille reading a book together in the full panel)
She was as excited for Marcille's milestones as Donato was.
She didn't tell Marcille much about elven food
(there are a couple things that this panel in particular implies:
She lived a good deal of her life (if not being born and raised) in a mainly elven country in the West, implied by her knowing enough of an elven region's cuisine to prefer Tall-man food over it
seems to have a pretty carefree and casual demeanour overall, if this is how she replied to Marcille asking her about it (sounds like she never gave her culinary preferences that much thought to begin with)
slightly related to number 2, it seems like she and Marcille had a fairly casual parent-child dynamic (especially in comparison to the Toudens' memory of their father)
(local elf tastes Italian food once and never goes back))
However, she seems a lot more... serious in most of the other times we see her? Almost like the very stereotypical archetype of a graceful elf.
Subsequent conclusions about her personality:
Usually pretty carefree and cheerful at home, has been a loving and attentive parent throughout Marcille's childhood (while not being so doting that she didn't discipline Marcille).
Slightly more conjectural theories on her personality:
Had a much more graceful and professional personality at work, which would explain the more serious portraits we see of her.
Given that both she and Donato had positions at the royal court, it seems a little odd that she'd go out of her way to do all the housework herself, so maybe she just enjoyed doing it?
Now taping all the evidence together and toeing the line between analysis and fanfiction:
It's clear that she loved Donato very much and was utterly devastated by losing him. But there's one thing that really stuck out to me in what little we see of her:
Doesn't she seem... angry? The way she's gritting her teeth, clutching the tablecloth, and how this is the first and only time we see her eyes opened that wide. In the following panel, you see her being quiet and dejected after her initial outburst. She's still crying very intensely, but her brows are furrowed, and she's not really responding to Donato's affection in her body language.
We're not told the details of how she felt about losing Donato other than that it upset her. But this, to me, implies that she was angry and resented that he was aging, that the end of his life was approaching. An "it's not fair" type of preemptive grief. And if this was the first and last time she cried like this in front of her family, she was either very good at coping in private... or very bad at letting herself feel unpleasant emotions until they become unavoidable and end up overwhelming her.
It's not too remarkable a detail on the surface. It's even reminiscent of what the audience has seen of Marcille. But... when it comes to the big picture, you'd think an elf who voluntarily chose to marry a tall-man and have a half-elf child would have been better prepared for this.
It kind of recontextualizes her cheerfulness to me.
"I'm sure everything's gonna be okay!" (or some variation thereof, depending on what translation you have).
And this is stated to contrast her extreme grief when finally confronting Donato's failing body and eventual death. But I'm wondering if... maybe this optimism was why she was so upset. What if she went into all of it thinking "everything's gonna be okay"? What if she was a little young by elven standards, and just followed her heart thinking that her own resilience would get her through anything?
Of course, only to get completely overwhelmed when she actually loses Donato. She turns into a completely different person. And that's heartbreaking on its own-- but what the audience sees is the effect it had on Marcille. Can you imagine being her, watching your invincible and upbeat mother suddenly lose all the light in her eyes in one go?
I've already made a huge post about how I think Marcille models her "work persona" off her mother, but another thing that stuck with me as I was looking for more details in the manga was this:
copy pasting from the other post i made about it lmao it's like... the second she resigns herself to lifelong pain and terror, there's another portrait of her mother facing her like this. with their heads bowed, in mirrored body language of resignation and despair and sorrow. Except it's posed like Marcille is still looking at her mother but her mother is looking away.
It took me a second to realize, but I think that it's a visual metaphor for the fact that Marcille's mother was the only long-lived role model she had-- and she failed to model healthy grief for her daughter. I don't say this as an accusation or to disparage her as a character, but just as a matter of fact. In her, Marcille was seeing herself older and losing a short-lived spouse or loved one of her own, and all she saw was hopelessness.
But her mother didn't mean to instill hopelessness and terror in her. She wasn't really thinking of how it would truly affect Marcille at all (at least, that's how I'm interpreting her looking down and away from Marcille in the metaphor), she was just sad. And she, in her own way, was trying to protect her daughter and help her prepare for future losses.
What she meant was "loss is inevitable, and you have to learn how to be in pain but live on anyway." What Marcille heard was "loss is inevitable, and you will be scared and hurt for the rest of your life."
Again. Marcille's mother doesn't feature explicitly in the story the way her father does -- but in so many ways, her shadow, her silhouette, her reflection is always hanging over Marcille.
All that to say... headcanon-wise (everything from here on is 100% without evidence lmao), I'd like to think that she matured and realized that she failed Marcille. I imagine her being regretful about it, wanting a chance to fix it but never finding a way to insert herself back into Marcille's life when Marcille is so so so busy becoming the most accomplished mage possible. I imagine her being herself again, now, so many years after her loss and after remarrying -- but with her cheerfulness tempered with a lot more wisdom and the pain of having gone through loss like that. I think the second Marcille actually tells her what happened in the dungeon, she'd want to go running to her daughter again -- if Marcille tells her the full truth instead of just being embarrassed she let things get that far. (oh, the tragedy of her wanting to be more like her mother and an accomplished adult who doesn't need to be babied... being embarrassed to actually tell her mother how much she fucked up...)
There's also the tension of her having remarried -- I know that there's at least a little bit of resentment that Marcille harbours about that, because she's childish like that at heart even if she makes an effort not to externalize it. I think that her mother would be aware of that, potentially adding to her sense of guilt and apprehension at trying to reappear/intrude on Marcille's life. I honestly don't think Marcille has met her stepfather -- or even considers him a stepfather rather than "mama's new husband" and kind of a total stranger. I think she and her mother actively don't talk about it in their correspondence, like an elephant in the room.
but, ultimately, I think her mother is on her side no matter what. Ancient magic? Dark necromancy? Sure, she'll feel guilty and like she was partially responsible for setting Marcille down such a painful path, but she wouldn't care. that's her daughter!! she would've moved back west and been petitioning for her at the court, buying a house right next to the Canaries barracks and visiting her every day that she wasn't on a mission. And if her husband had opinions on Marcille becoming a "dark arts user," he either gets over it or it's divorce with him. Yes, she might have had her optimism completely humbled by losing Donato like that -- but she's still headstrong and self-assured and she doesn't care what people think of her. It's her way or the highway and she's always going to be in Marcille's corner.
(She also needs a name lol. I went with Juno, just to be cute about "Marcille"s closest real life equivalent being Marcella, which is the female version of Marcellus, which in turn is a diminutive of Marcus, which was derived from Mars. Absolutely in love with Marcille potentially being named after Ares/Mars the fucking god of war btw)
#asks#she could easily be interpreted as distant or neglectful after Donato's death too#with how little involvement she has in Marcille's life/the fact that Marcille doesn't even mention her when talking about her life prospect#and that's fair! I will argue to hell and back that she was a loving parent when Donato was alive#but there's nothing that suggests she remained a loving parent afterwards#I just think that like... parental relationships are so complicated in dungeon meshi#you cannot deny that the toudens' mother loved them dearly but that she failed them both miserably as a parent#and i think it'd be more compelling if Marcille's mother was a little like that too#not a totally and easily dismissable deadbeat#but someone who truly loves her daughter but was only human herself and couldn't be what Marcille needed at a crucial moment#and regrets it deeply#and that the distance between them is mutually self-imposed by complicated feelings of guilt and fear#and a little resentment from Marcille's side that she hasn't really properly processed#I don't know if I'll ever get around to writing it but i had this idea where Marcille does finally spill the beans to her mom and she just#immediately arrives in Melini#and its awkward for a bit but they do finally have a heart to heart and air it all out#and marcille starts freaking out that her marriage is rocky rn bc her new husband wants her to distance herself from marcille#on account of the crimes and all#marcille's like no you can't blow up your marriage for me and her mother just shuts that shit down#'you didn't choose to be born. i was the one who made that choice for you'#'i brought you into this world and i'll be damned if i don't take responsibility for that the entire way'#'you are entitled to *nothing less* than my unconditional love.'#and obviously that's not a sentiment that's exactly healthy as a universal statement about parenthood#but i think its what her mother would believe and what marcille needs to hear#and dungeon meshi does such a fantastic job at just... letting imperfect things just *be* without having to justify it immediately#it expects the audience to do their own critical thinking#and know that its not trying to make sweeping universal statements in every instance#marcilleposting#marcille donato#junoposting
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Never beating the allegations
#bkdk#Mha 417#what wa the line again… something like ‘I imitate you when I most need it’#I’m too tired rn but you know exactly what I’m talking about
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Philza: Yeah Missa is my platonic husband
Cellbit: what does that mean
Foolish: no SEX Cellbit, they don’t FUCK or ANYTHING!!!11!!111!!
#qsmp#philza#cellbit#foolish gamers#live blogging#like damn ok Foolish#ALSO FOOLISH AND PHILZA EMOTING IN THE BACKGROUND OF LORE IS EXACTLY WHAT I NEED RN#THATS MY STREAMER
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edit: I think it‘s his dad in the back?? maybe they‘re on vacation again
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(x)
#i fucking i fkn need to .sit down for a little bit i just need to sit down for a while#actually i want you to picture me as goofy floating in a pool while champagne supernova plays thats exactly what i want from you rn#charles leclerc#richard siken
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um 😵💫😵💫😵💫
#punz twitter sub pics#he is FEEDING me rn#this is exactly what I needed to feel better in my current sickly condition 🤧
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