#which is exactly the kind of ridiculous vibes i want

[jessicas-pi]

florian and margaret are, hands-down, THE BEST platonic guy-girl relationship I've ever encountered in all of fiction ever. They're so sweet and care about each other so much and hrrgrgehrgh. I'm sorry but I will NOT be shutting up about them

[hoshifighting]

i'm BEGGING for a collegefling! jeonghan plzz

thank youuuu 💗 love your work <33

warnings: smut, teasing, flirting, fingering, penetrative sex, cock riding, semi-public sex, library sex, loud!jeonghan, jealousy, he's such a cutie too.

college fling!jeonghan who's not the type to play around with mixed signals. if he wants something, he’s pretty direct about it. likes games—just not the confusing kind. so, yeah, when you first met him, you kind of got what he was about from day one. freshman year was chaos. the university’s big events had everyone talking—water games, shirtless dudes, bikinis, everyone all bronzed and glowing under the sun. but jeonghan— he’s not about the whole "show off my body" thing. kept his shirt on, like he didn’t need to prove a damn thing. confident as hell, and you hated how much that got to you.

he was the one who came up to you first, of course. said something like, ��my friend thinks you’re pretty.” such a casual opener, like it was no big deal. but then he took it further, all smooth with a teasing smile. “but i don’t really trust his taste, so i had to see for myself.”

you remember just rolling your eyes, thinking, this guy—but also trying not to let on that his vibe was doing things to your brain. when he went on to say, “so, are we making out now, or later?”—you laughed in his face, hard. hard as fuck, actually, and told him straight up that wasn’t happening, and his response? a smirk. that smirk that would become the smirk, the one you'd start seeing every time he spotted you from across campus, during parties, even in the quiet corner of the library when you thought you were safe.

after that day, it was like this... game, but not really a game. like, you’d be minding your business, trying to get through your classes, and boom—jeonghan would be there, casually sliding in with some flirty comment, always teetering on the line of too much. but never quite crossing it. like one time, you were sitting with your laptop, probably stressed over a deadline, and he just popped up with, “you look like you could use a distraction.” you shot back, “don’t you have someone else to annoy?” and of course, he answered, “nah, i’m committed to you.” committed. like it wasn’t just a stupid flirty thing.

and it kept going. year after year. no kissing, no hooking up—just this ridiculous back-and-forth, every time he saw you, making your stomach twist up in knots. it was frustrating as hell, ‘cause even though he flirted like it was second nature, he never actually pushed you to do anything more. he knew the game. he knew exactly how far to take it before pulling back, leaving you wanting more but hating that you even did.

one night, you were at some random house party, loud music, too many people, and of course, there he was. leaning against the kitchen counter, looking all too comfortable in a place that was way too crowded. he saw you first, waved you over with that lazy smile that you wanted to ignore but couldn’t. “you lost or just looking for me?” he asked, knowing damn well you weren’t looking for him.

“neither,” you lied, grabbing a drink from the counter just to have something to hold. but he wasn’t buying it, stepping a little closer, crowding your space just enough to make your breath catch.

“right,” he said, that teasing lilt in his voice. “so you’re not here just to finally kiss me?”

you laughed again, but this time, it didn’t feel as easy. “jeonghan, you’ve been trying for years. give it up.”

“noo sweetheart,” he pouted, voice smooth like honey. “i’m just playing the long game. i like it..”

the long game. because even though you never kissed, never took it past flirting, there was always this tension, simmering just below the surface. you’d catch yourself thinking about him sometimes when you weren’t even around him—wondering if he ever thought about you the same way.

but he never made it weird. never tried to make you feel like you owed him anything, which was maybe why you didn’t hate him for it. because at the end of the day, it was fun. infuriating, yes. but fun. he’d make a comment, you’d brush it off, but deep down? yeah, there was always a part of you that kinda wanted to see what would happen if you let the game go on a little longer.

and jeonghan... he was patient. too patient, if you were being honest.

there was something stupidly comforting about jeonghan always being around. like, even on your worst days—those days when you couldn’t even be bothered to try. oversized hoodie, messy hair, not a scrap of makeup. you were barely surviving, and there he was, still managing to make you feel noticed. he’d walk up, casual as hell, and say things like, “your hair smells nice today,” or he’d reach out, fingers grazing your hand, just to say, “new nails? they look cute.”

and then there was that one time, oh god—you remember it clear as day. you’d barely rolled out of bed and showed up to class, hoodie pulled tight around you, and jeonghan slides up beside you at the cantine, glancing down at your hand. “you know what would look cute wrapped in there?” he’d said, all casual. and for a split second, you didn’t catch on. you were about to ask what he meant, then it hit you—cock. he meant cock.

you felt your face heat up, your brain misfiring as you shot him a look, trying to figure out if anyone else had heard. your eyes scanned the tables, praying no one else had clocked his little comment, and when you finally turned back to him, there he was—smiling like butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth. “what?” he asked, all fake innocence, like you hadn’t just caught onto his bullshit. “i was talking about the energy drink can.” and he pointed at the one in your hand, the one you had just bought. “it matches your nails.”

you laughed. you couldn’t help it. he had this way of making everything lighter, even when you were convinced it was gonna be a trash day. and he smiled too, like your happiness was his mission for the day. it was always like that. jeonghan would flirt, you’d roll your eyes or laugh, and things would feel a little easier. it was comfortable. safe, even.

but then… spring party. fuck.

there was something so painfully uncomfortable about seeing him with her. it wasn’t even the fact that they were together—it was the way he smiled at her. the way his arm was casually around her shoulders, pulling her closer, and then the cheek kiss. you saw it, and it felt like something lodged itself in your chest. like, what the hell.

it hit you like a ton of bricks. you liked the game too much. you liked him too much, but you hadn’t taken the shot. you never thought it was serious enough to matter, but seeing him with someone else? it felt like you were watching something that should’ve been yours. the whole night was a blur after that. no amount of party energy could bring you back up after seeing that.

you left early. didn’t even bother sticking around when the lights got lower, the music got louder, and everyone else started to get more and more drunk. you just… left. walked back to your dorm, the sound of your flower crown jingling a little with each step, the one your friends had insisted you wear. it felt stupid now. why the hell did you even care?

and then, as if the universe had it out for you, you saw him. just walking out of the dorms. not just any dorms. the dorms. the girls’ dorms. and you knew. of course it was her. she was in there, probably waving him off after some perfect little goodnight, and here you were, walking around with jealousy you didn’t even want to admit you had.

he saw you before you could duck away. smiled at you like nothing was weird, like you hadn’t seen him with her just hours before. “mhmmm... who’s this princess, huh?” he wolf-whistled, because of course, of course, he would. his eyes twinkled when they landed on your flower crown, clearly amused.

you weren’t. “fuck off, jeonghan,” you muttered, trying to brush past him. but you knew it. he heard it. he caught the tone immediately because even when he got on your nerves before, you were never this cold.

“whoa, whoa,” he called after you, stepping in your path with that all-too-familiar smirk, though now it felt different. heavier. “where’s this coming from? what happened? don’t tell me the princess has had a rough night?”

“i’m not in the mood,” you snapped, making a beeline for your dorm. but he wasn’t letting it go. he blocked your way again, hands stuffed in his pockets, eyes studying you like he was figuring out some kind of puzzle. you saw his eyes lighting up.

“wait a minute… are you jealous?”

the way he said it, like he was genuinely surprised and also deeply entertained by the thought. you didn’t even want to give him the satisfaction of looking at him, but your eyes flicked up anyway, glaring.

“you’re ridiculous.”

“i’m ridiculous?” he laughed, stepping a little closer. “so you saw me with her, huh?” he teased, and you could see the moment he clicked it all together. “oh my god. you are jealous.”

“shut up, jeonghan.”

but he didn’t. he was full-on laughing now, not even trying to hide how amused he was by the whole thing. “okay, okay. listen, that was my sister, y/n.”

you blinked. “what?”

he wiped at his eyes, still chuckling. “my sister. we had a family thing tonight, and she was visiting the campus for the spring party. she’s staying over, that’s why i was in the girls' dorms.”

you felt the embarrassment hit you like a wave. like, of course, you’d worked yourself up into a jealous mess over nothing. but still, the way he was looking at you, the way his laughter softened when he saw your expression change—it wasn’t like he was making fun of you. if anything, he looked… kinda pleased.

“you really thought i’d ditch you for someone else?” he asked, scrunching his nose. “after all these years?”

you wanted to hit him. and also kiss him. but mostly hit him. “shut up,” you mumbled, shoving past him to finally get to your door.

but as you fumbled with your keys, you heard him laugh again, this time lighter. “you know, if you want to kiss me that badly, you could just ask.”

"just ask?" you placed a hand on your hip, raising an eyebrow at him like you were calling his bluff. jeonghan just nodded, all nonchalant, like this wasn’t the moment of his life.

you took a step closer, the space between you two disappearing until your noses were nearly touching. you could see the way his eyes flickered from yours to your lips and back up, like he was trying to stay cool, but you knew better. underneath all that fake calm, he was freaking out.

you just smiled. you leaned in, just close enough for him to feel your breath on his lips, and whispered, “good night, jeonghan.”

you pulled back, turning on your heel, leaving him standing there. you didn’t need to look back to know the effect you had. you could feel the tension in the air, the way his posture faltered just slightly. when you reached your door, you glanced over your shoulder, catching his eyes one last time before you disappeared inside. he was still watching, a grin playing on his lips. as you leaned against the door inside, hand over your racing heart, you couldn’t help but smile too.

a few days later, you were at the library. it was one of those late afternoons where the campus was almost eerily quiet. most people were either at the football field, hanging out on the green, or already done for the day. you’d volunteered for this stupid school board vote thing, which meant you were stuck painting posters on cardboard, your hands covered in smudges of red and blue paint.

the library had this dim, cozy lighting, the blinds half-drawn so the soft glow of sunset was creeping in from the windows. but the table you were sitting at had this one bright, focused yellow lamp, shining right on your work as you dragged the wet paintbrush across the poster.

you were in your own world, humming softly, when you suddenly felt something… someone close. too close. a soft breath ghosted over your ear, so light you almost thought you were imagining it.

“boo!” a voice whispered, low and teasing, right by your ear.

you flinched hard, tensing up, your whole body jerking back so fast the paintbrush slipped in your hand. and of course, it was him. jeonghan stood there, barely an inch away, grinning like the asshole he was. his hands were shoved deep in his pockets, like he was trying to stop himself from reaching out and touching you.

“what the fuck,” you muttered, heart still racing from the scare, eyes glaring up at him. but he was having the time of his life, watching the way your body reacted, still all wound up.

“shhh,” he whispered, stepping even closer, his lips nearly brushing your ear this time. “we’re in a library.” the fake seriousness in his voice almost made you laugh, but you were too annoyed to let him win that easily.

“do you ever chill?” you asked, leaning back in your chair to give yourself a little space, but jeonghan wasn’t having it. he leaned down, resting his arms on the back of your chair like he was claiming it—and you.

“why would i, when scaring you is so much fun?” he shot back, his grin widening.

your heart was still pounding from the surprise, and now from him being so damn close, but you rolled your eyes, trying to act like you weren’t affected. “you’re annoying.”

“you love it,” he whispered, the teasing edge in his voice making you want to scream. but instead, you reached for your paintbrush again, ignoring him, or at least trying to. jeonghan, though, wasn’t going anywhere. he hovered over you, eyes scanning the half-finished poster on the table.

“what’s this?” he asked, gesturing to your work. “you painting a masterpiece?”

“just posters,” you mumbled, trying to focus on the brush strokes. but you could feel him there, his eyes practically burning into your skin. you hated how aware you were of him, of his warmth, of the way his breath still lingered on your ear.

“hmm,” he hummed, leaning a little closer again, his cheek almost brushing yours as he pretended to inspect the cardboard. “you missed a spot.”

“jeonghan,” you warned, glancing up at him through narrowed eyes. but all he did was flash you that familiar, maddening smirk.

“what? just trying to help.” he finally pulled back, standing up straight again, but not before letting his fingers brush lightly against your arm, just enough to send a spark through you.

you cursed under your breath, trying to focus on your work, but it was useless. his stupid little whisper and the way he hovered over you had already ruined any chance of concentration.

“you know,” he said casually, pulling out a chair next to you and sitting down like he had nowhere else to be. “you’re fun to mess with.”

“can you shut up for like, two seconds?” you shot at him, your voice carrying more frustration than you meant.

instead of taking the hint, he just wriggled his eyebrows at you, that shit-eating grin still plastered on his face. he never stops. you squeezed your eyes shut, trying to gather your thoughts, but the annoyance, the tension—it all bubbled up inside you, and before you could overthink it, you opened your eyes and leaned in, kissing him.

just a quick peck, a little “shut the hell up” moment, nothing more. but the second you pulled back and caught the look on his face, you almost regretted it. almost. jeonghan was stunned. like, full-on wide-eyed, frozen in place, like he couldn’t believe what just happened.

your cheeks immediately burned, but you kept your cool, clearing your throat before going back to the poster like nothing happened. “sit down and be quiet now,” you muttered, keeping your eyes on the cardboard.

for once, he actually listened. he sat down next to you, still staring, clearly trying to process what you just did. the silence that followed was awkward as hell, but it didn’t last long. because, of course, it didn’t.

he lasted about five seconds, max. then you felt his hand on your cheek, turning your face towards him. before you could react, his lips were on yours again, but this time, he didn’t hold back. it wasn’t some quick, shy kiss. no. his lips moved against yours, hungry, and then you felt it—his tongue pushing past your lips, invading your mouth like he had no patience left.

his hand slid from your cheek to the back of your neck, pulling you closer, and before you knew it, you were completely lost in him. your body responded faster than your brain could keep up with, your hand instinctively reaching out to grab the edge of the table to steady yourself.

when he pulled back, just slightly, his breath was ragged, his lips hovering over yours as he whispered, “can i?” the neediness in his voice sent a jolt of heat straight through you.

you nodded, not trusting your voice. and that’s all he needed. his hand slipped down, fingers tracing the hem of your skirt before pushing it up just enough to get underneath. his fingertips brushed over your panties, teasing you, and you could feel yourself already getting wet.

jeonghan let out a soft chuckle, his breath hot against your skin. “you’re already soaked, cant wait to suck this pussy,” he whispered

you opened your mouth to respond, but all that came out was a shaky breath as he slid one finger under the fabric, barely grazing your folds. he was taking his time, dragging his fingers slowly, deliberately, over your wetness.

“so wet for me,” he whispered again, his lips brushing against your ear now. “you want me to keep going?”

you nodded again, your hand gripping the edge of the table tighter, and you heard him let out a small, pleased hum before he pressed a single finger inside you. the stretch was slow, his finger curling as he pushed in deeper, and the slick sound of your wetness filled the quiet library, pussy swallowing easily the long finger.

it was embarrassingly loud. the soft squelch of his finger moving inside you echoed in the stillness, and your head fell back, a quiet moan slipping past your lips before you could stop it.

“shhh,” jeonghan whispered, mockingly, his other hand coming up to wrap lightly around your throat. “quiet, be quiet f'me okay??”

you bit down on your bottom lip, trying to stay quiet, but it was impossible when he was teasing you like this, his finger moving slowly in and out, curling in just the squishy spot. he was taking his time, dragging it out, the wet sounds growing louder with each shove of his finger.

“you like that?” he asked, his lips brushing against your neck now. “you like when i finger you slow like this?”

you could barely answer, your voice catching in your throat as he added a second finger, stretching you just a little more. the way your body responded was automatic—your legs spreading wider on instinct, your hips rocking forward to meet his hand.

jeonghan grinned, his fingers moving a little faster now, pushing deeper, the squishing sounds even louder than before. “fuck, you’re so tight,” he muttered.

your head fell back against his shoulder, your body giving in. you could feel every inch of his fingers moving inside you, every curl, every thrust, the knuckles, it was driving you insane. you reached out blindly, your free hand finding his thigh before sliding up to palm at the bulge in his pants.

he let out a soft groan, his hips shifting slightly as you pressed your hand harder against him. “you’re really trying to make me lose it, hmm?” he muttered, his voice strained as he continued to finger you, his pace quickening.

your hand fumbled with the zipper of his pants, trying to get him out, but it was hard to focus when he was fucking you with his fingers like this, your wetness dripping down onto his palm.

“shit,” he hissed when your hand finally slipped into his pants, your fingers wrapping around his length. he was hard—so fucking hard—and the way you gripped him made his head fall back, eyes rolling as he thrust his fingers even deeper into you.

“you like that, baby?” he asked. “you like when i fuck you with my fingers?”

you moaned softly, nodding as your hips bucked against his hand. your walls clenched around his fingers, and the wet squelching sounds got louder, filling the quiet library.

“fuck, you sound so good,” jeonghan groaned, pulling your panties to the side so he could spread your legs wider, giving himself better access. his fingers moved faster, pushing deeper, and you felt your body start to tremble, the pleasure building so quickly you could barely breathe.

“jeonghan,” you whimpered, your hand tightening around his length as your other hand gripped the table for dear life. your hips rocked against his fingers, desperate.

“that’s it, mhmm just like that baby,” he whispered, his lips brushing against your ear again. “cum for your hannie.. so nasty baby, letting me fuck this pussy with my fingers...what if someone see this hm?.”

before you could stop it, your body seized up, your walls clenched tight around his fingers, your back arching as you came, the wet sounds of your release echoing in the quiet library.

jeonghan groaned softly, his hand still moving, fingers still pumping in and out of you as you rode out your orgasm.

jeonghan watched as you giggled softly, in overstimulation, your head nestled into the crook of his neck, making him smile too. his arms wrapped around you tight, holding you against him.

a single line of slickness dripping down between your legs, a translucent trail of your release that shimmered against the dim library light and hit the floor with a quiet, inappropriate drip. he stared at it for a second, mesmerized by how fucking wet you were.

before you could even react, jeonghan slid his fingers from between your legs, sticky with your juices, and without hesitation, brought them to his lips. he sucked your wetness off them like it was nothing, like this was casual. but the way he moaned softly, like he was tasting something forbidden, made your cheeks burn.

“jeonghan!” you hissed, scolding him, giving him a little slap on the arm. “what the hell?”

he just shrugged, lips curved into that cocky smile. “couldn’t help it,” he muttered, the taste of you still lingering on his tongue. “you taste so fucking good.”

your face flushed even more, but you couldn’t hide the way your body still buzzed with need, even after he’d just made you come. your eyes flickered to the door—still shut, no one else around—and something wild sparked in you.

before you could second-guess it, you stood up from your chair and climbed onto his lap, straddling him fast. jeonghan’s eyes widened in shock, hands automatically flying to your hips, but not stopping you. “y/n,” he stammered, voice shaky, his breath catching in his throat, “n-no, we can’t—”

“why not?” you whined, rocking your hips forward just enough to brush his cock agasint your folds, and fuck, it felt good. you were still wet, soaked from your orgasm, and the friction was enough to make you both let out quiet, needy moans.

jeonghan’s hands gripped your hips tighter, his fingers digging into your skin as he struggled to keep his composure. “fuck,” he muttered, biting down on his bottom lip hard, his whole body trembling beneath you. “because—shit—i can’t keep quiet.”

“please,” you begged, your voice dripping with desperation, leaning closer so your lips ghosted over his. “jeonghan, i’m so horny… been wanting you for years too.”

those words did something to him. years. and it hit him all at once—the weight of everything, of all those years of teasing, flirting, the back and forth that never went anywhere, the way he’d always kept it just at the edge, never crossing the line. and now, here you were, straddling him, begging for him like it was all too much to hold back anymore. he could feel it too—the years of tension, of watching you from a distance, making you smile just to hear that laugh, all leading up to this.

“fuck,” he whispered, voice strained as he watched you grind against him, his hands flexing on your hips. his eyes fluttered shut as the pressure built between you, your slick folds dragging against him. his body was wound so tight he felt like he could snap any second.

“jeonghan,” you whispered again, your breath hot against his lips, and then you reached down between you, a gasp escaping him when your hand wrapped around his length, teasing him.

“we can’t,” he whispered, but there was no conviction in his voice, not anymore. his hips bucked up into your hand, betraying how badly he wanted this. “we can’t do this here.”

“then be quiet,” you murmured, lips brushing over his as you guided the tip of his cock to your entrance. your wetness coated him, slick and hot, and jeonghan groaned, his head falling back against the chair as you slid him along your folds. he was so hard, so sensitive.

“fuck, y/n,” he gasped, his body trembling under your touch. his hands shot to your thighs, gripping them hard as you teased him, your slickness coating his cock, making everything feel too good, too intense.

“please,” you whispered again, pressing down just enough for his tip to catch at your entrance, and jeonghan’s whole body shuddered. “i need you.”

he bit down on his lip, his hands shaking as he tried to stop himself from completely losing control. “you’re gonna kill me,” he muttered, his voice rough with lust. “i won’t be able to stay quiet.”

but you didn’t care. you wanted him too badly, needed him too badly after all this time, all these years of unspoken tension finally coming to a head. you were practically shaking with need, your hips moving on their own as you slid his cock along your folds, teasing yourself with the tip.

jeonghan let out a low groan, his eyes rolling back as you rubbed against him, the wet sounds of your slickness filling the quiet space. “shit, baby,” he whispered, his hands trembling as they moved to grip your ass, pulling you even closer. “so fuckin good around me, fuck— i dont know if i will last.”

“then fuck me,” you whispered back, your voice desperate now, grinding down against him, your slick folds swallowing his cock inch by inch. you felt him twitch, felt how much he was holding back, and it only made you want him more.

he groaned, his head falling forward, his forehead resting against yours. “can’t keep quiet, can’t can’t—” he whispered again, his breath ragged, but the way his hips bucked up into you told you all you needed to know.

you let out a soft whimper as you finally sank down onto him, his cock stretching you so slowly, so perfectly. the feeling of him inside you after all this time was almost too much, and you moaned softly, your body trembling as he filled you up, inch by inch.

you started rocking your hips slowly, back and forth, barely pulling off him before sliding back down, letting him feel every inch of you. the way his cock filled you so perfectly made you clench around him, and you could hear jeonghan’s breath catch, a low groan slipping from his lips that he tried desperately to swallow.

his hands shot to your waist, gripping you tight as you moved. your rhythm was teasing, dragging your slick folds over him as his length stretched you with each motion. you knew what you were doing to him—the way his hips bucked up every time you slid down, his thighs tensing under your legs. he was struggling to hold it together, and you were reveling in every second of it.

you leaned forward, your lips brushing his ear as you whispered, “you’re so fucking hard for me hannie”

jeonghan let out a deep groan, his head falling back against the chair as he tried to keep quiet, his breath coming in short, desperate pants. “ngh—fuck—” he hissed, his grip on your waist tightening as he tried to control himself, but the way you were moving, so slow and deliberate, was killing him.

you smirked against his neck, pressing soft kisses to his skin before whispering again, your voice low. “you love how wet i am for you, hm? bet you’ve been thinking about this all of those years, huh?”

that did it. jeonghan’s whole body trembled, and he let out a strangled moan, “ahh—shit—” his fingers dug into your hips, trying to pull you down harder, but you kept the pace slow, teasing, letting him feel every second of it.

“fuck, y/n,” he groaned, his voice breaking as he threw his head back, his lips parted and eyes fluttering shut. “you—ngh—feel so fucking good.”

his reaction only fueled you more. you started grinding your hips a little faster, rolling them in circles. you leaned closer again, your lips brushing against his ear as you whispered filth, your voice dripping with lust. “you’re such a good boy for me, letting me ride you like this..”

jeonghan let out another deep groan, “o-oh—fuck—” his hands slid under your skirt, gripping your ass as he helped guide your movements, his fingers squeezing the soft flesh. his eyes were half-lidded, mouth open, and you could feel him trembling beneath you, trying so hard to keep quiet, but every whisper from you had him moaning like he couldn’t control it.

“you’re such a dirty boy,” you whispered, “can feel how bad you want to cum inside me.”

“fuck—” he groaned again, louder this time, and you quickly leaned forward, pressing your lips to his to muffle the sound. the kiss was desperate, messy, his tongue immediately slipping into your mouth as he kissed you back hard, his hands pulling you down on him as you rocked your hips faster. you could feel him shaking, his control slipping with every thrust.

you pulled back, breathless, your lips hovering over his as you whispered again. “you gonna come for me, jeonghan? gonna fill me up like the good boy you are?”

his eyes rolled back, his hands gripping your ass even tighter as he thrust up into you, his cock twitching inside you. your fingers gripped the edge of the table to steady yourself, your nails digging into the wood as you rocked against him, feeling his cock throb inside you. his hands slid back up your hips, pulling you down gently as his cock twitched one last time inside you, the warmth of his release spreading through you.

you reached down between you, sliding your fingers through your own slickness and bringing them to his lips. “taste it,” you whispered, watching as his eyes fluttered open, still hazy with lust.

he groaned softly, but didn’t hesitate, his tongue slipping out to lick your fingers clean, tasting both of you mixed together. the sight of it made you shiver, and you couldn’t help the soft moan that escaped your lips as you watched him suck on your fingers, his eyes locked on yours.

you could feel the heat between your legs still burning, still aching for more, and without thinking, you started to move again, grinding your hips against his slowly. jeonghan’s eyes widened, his hands gripping your waist as he realized what you were doing.

“y/n—” he whispered, his voice shaky, “what the—we—fuck, we can’t—”

“shh,” you whispered, your lips brushing over his as you rocked your hips again, feeling his cock start to harden inside you. “just one more time.”

jeonghan let out a low groan, his hands sliding down to your ass again as he gave in, his body already reacting to the feeling of you moving on him again. “fuck,” he whispered, his voice rough with need. “you’re gonna kill me.”

you just smiled, pressing your lips to his as you whispered against his mouth, “then die happy.”

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - In Which None of You Should be Surprised by a MAJOR Upset in the Standings

Sorry this is so late. I had a pretty epic series of delays landing me at NRT for like 18 hours or something ridiculous. To be fair there are much worse airports to be stranded at.

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

June 2024 Week 4

Ongoing Series - Thai

The Rebound (Weds Gaga) ep 1 of 12 - Fuck all ya'all if you thought I had taste. MeenPing are topping this damn list because... have you any idea how LONG I have been waiting for a real sports centered BL starring at least one boy who actually played the flipping sport? My whole damn life. You ready for me to go into euphoric splooges all over your screens? I don't think you are. SUFFER! And now some splooging:

It’s off to a great start. Thank you, Rebound, for being exactly what I wanted. By which I mean Meen has his shirt off literally in the first two minutes of the show. Also it’s a bit of a childhood sweethearts reunion romance. There’s nothing wrong with this beginning. Fantastic. For a change, I even enjoy the intro music. Golf is directing MeenPing this time, so maybe something magical will happen. Frank is aging so pretty!!! How nice for all of us. Even the bb play is good. It’s a proper sports BL. I’m so damn happy right now. 

Wandee Goodday (Sat YT) ep 9 of 12 - I’m so tired of Ter, but everything else was lovely. Also they are SUCH boyfriends. 

Sunset X Vibes (Sat iQIYI) ep 3 of 12 - They are so cute in these roles. I don’t know why, I just like their vibe better here than in the previous show. (And I really enjoyed Big Dragon at the start.) This show is a lot more classic romance and kind of pat because of that. I do hope the ingénue character gets some kind of additional development and talent. But even if it stays mundane, these two have the chemistry to carry it. So I suspect I’ll keep enjoying it regardless. I am mildly intrigued by the spice of the PNR element, so I hope they run with that a bit more. I suspect they will have to, to extend the plot for 12 eps.

My Stand-In (Fri iQIYI) ep 10 of 12 - Ah Ming... famous last words. This one just makes me sigh a lot and whimper sadly. I don’t know where they’re going with this plot or how they’re gonna resolve it. Joe finally being the asshole Ming deserves is a lot of fun though (double entendre intended). I’m scared but it did make me cry... a lot. (That's fine, I'm a sap.)  

Imma say this because no one else has. Wardrobe is unilaterally terrible in this show. I mean Thailand is notoriously bad in general but this show, nash.

We Are Cute (Weds iQIYI) ep 13 of 16 - They are so fucking adorable. And so flirty! Also a crying kiss? My favorite! Chain’s little moment of "Cupid shoot thyself" was epic. ("Physician heal thyself" but for the BL world?) Honestly, I could watch a whole show about these two...

The Trainee (Sun YouTube) ep 1 of 12 - How does Gun still look like he’s just out of high school? Madness. Does the set for the print shop that he’s working in at the beginning remind anybody else of Mork’s dad’s place in ‘Cause He’s My Boy? I swear GMMTV has about 3 sets they rotate through.

To be brutally honest, I was not looking forward to the show at all. No idea why. OffGun aren’t my most favorite OG pair, but I respect them for their longevity, optics, acting shops, and enduring brand. Maybe I just needed more of a gap from Cooking Crush?

Whatever, I was absolutely riveted by this first episode. I’m enjoying The Trainee a lot. Like, a lot a lot.

My Love Mix-Up Th (Fri YT) ep 4 of 12 - This version did the "clear up of the inciting miscommunication" in such a sweet achey way. Frankly that "ache of first love" really plays to G4's strengths as a pair. This was a good ep and I’m now starting to enjoy this one for its own sake and get some distance from the JBL version. It's just there is A LOT of good stuff coming out of Thailand right now.

Love Sea (Sun iQIYI) ep 3 of 10 - I was inspired to write a Shakespearean style sonnet in this week's trash watch. Mame seems to believe that no character can have depth without suffering. And I found this episode both boring and rushed at the same time. Trash watch here. (This week's trash watch also VERY delayed.)

Knock Knock Boys (Thurs Gaga) ep 6 of 12 - It’s eminently missable... so I missed it this week in order to get this weekly update out. Next week will be a two in one. 

Only Boo! (Sun YT) ep 12fin - Okay, that’s it, I guess?

Summary:

An idol romance about a sunshine boy who dances good and wants to be a star and a reserved food stand vendor. Other side of the tracks, grumpy/sunshine pair who fall in love but, of course, to be an idol baby boy can't date. It wasn’t particularly bad, it wasn’t particularly good either. 7/10

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

I Hear the Sunspot AKA Hidamari ga Kikoeru (Japan Weds Gaga) Ep 1 of 10 - A new series adaptation of beloved yaoi I Hear the Sunspot (first adaptation was feature film Silhouette of Your Voice 2017).

I expected the soundscapes in this one to be fantastic, but I didn’t expect the filming to be something special too. But it really is. I’m not gonna lie, I'm nervous about this show because I love the manga and was disappointed by the film, but we were off to a really good start. First names already? So cute. I love them.

Takara's Treasure AKA Takara No Vidro (Japan Mon Gaga) ep 1 of 10 - Shy awkward Taishin goes to a Tokyo university in order to reunite with Takara, a stranger who consoled him over the loss of a parrot the year prior. He finally gets a chance to express his gratitude but is given the cold shoulder. (My thoughts this weekend's round up)

I can't believe Japan is holding it down for the non Thai BL. I mean to say.... JAPAN!!! What alt reality are we living in? It being Japan, I'm scared of the ending.

It's airing but...

Blue Boys is still going on and I'm still enjoying it (despite the cheating) but I don't know when it drops or where it's going, so I will report in at the end. When they tell me it's ended.

The Last Time (Thai Fri YT?) - Convoluted story of loss and possible reincarnation or something. Can't find it.

OMG Vampire (Thai Sun ???) 10 eps - I've put the search on hold for and y'all can let me know if it's worth tracking down once it ends?

In case you missed it

The Time of Fever AKA Unintentional Love Story 2 (Korea movie) trailer released to Korean theaters 5/25. HoTae & DongHee, side couple from Unintentional Love Story are back! Same actors, same character names. I love them. Devastated this hasn't had international distribution. I demand you tell me the moment you find it!

Next Week Looks Like This:

NO IMG - we half way through this week already - sorry.

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

July Releases to Come

7/5 This Love Doesn't Have Long Beans (Thai iQIYI) - trailer here, The PittBabe team behind a new restaurant set BL full of hidden agendas and starring my new favorites SailubPon. Delightful!

7/10 Century of Love (Thai Gaga) 10 eps - trailer here, DaouOffroad are back, this time as fated mates in a quasi historical paranormal moment. San has spent many lifetimes waiting for his lost beloved, to reincarnate from her death a century ago. But if he fails to find her within this century's time window, he will succumb to a tragic death. And this time she's a boy. Very much Director Who Buys Me Dinner meets First Love Again, hopefully better than both. I love this pair and think they can handle the premise, it's whether the storytelling is up to the challenge. I'm curious to see but I have reservations.

7/26 4 Minutes (Thai Netflix or iQIYI?) - Great is a university student from Faculty of Business and the son of a wealthy business owner. Out of the blue, he gains the supernatural power to see four minutes into the future.

7/29 Battle of the Writers (Thai ????) - trailer here, TutorYim return and while I adore them, I really hope this is better than Middleman's Love. Won't be hard. However: that premise! Ugh. Something something authors fighting - save me. Why don't writers understand that nothing is more boring than writers?

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Defining @heretherebedork 's favorite endearment of "tiny idiot."

I love him. I also love what a class act they both were about this turn down. Thailand shows Korea how to handle a love triangle by NOT HAVING ONE.

Both We Are.

We stand a lap sit on this blog, but I think this is my first lap spin! I adored it! (Sunset X Vibes)

It's fun to watch them follow the original narrative but with these cute little Thai twists. Sometimes these are shifted for language reasons, sometimes for cultural, and sometimes I think just to draw a clear distinction from the JBL. I'm not mad about any of it. (My Love Mix Up)

Not just for you, honey. Truer words were never spoken. Yak is the biggest green flag ever to walk BL's verdant earth.

Linguistic corner!

I love this way of putting the translation. Usually, in Thai, the phrase used means "he's my happiness" (sounds like: kwamsook). To use sabai is different. Sabai more ubiquitous (sabai is one of the most commonly used phrases in Thailand) but also so different from the usual phrase we hear in ThBL at this moment. Thus, this execution is special, particularly from a doctor. I'm not quite sure how to put it but sabai can also be translated as feeling well, as in, not ill. So there is a way of looking at Wandee saying Yak is both his peace of mind and good for his health and well being.

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a pain.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

Sigh, Tumblr in it's infinite wisdom doesn't like too many tags.

There's these tricks, remember.

[suzukiblu]

WIP excerpt for Jan behind the cut; "Superboys Switch". (( chrono || non-chrono ))

Maybe even the same age, he thinks, and then forces himself not to think about it.

( they’re less than a day old, and they look THIS old. how many years is that? how much of a childhood did they lose? how much– )

Jon forces himself not to think about it.

“I really don’t think not committing murder is being a stick in the mud,” he says, and the kid snorts and then floats up a couple feet into the air, half-tucking their feet under themself as they do. Jon–frowns, for a second. That looks . . . something about how they’re flying looks a little off, for some reason. Like–different from how it looks when Dad and Aunt Kara do it, and different from how it feels when he does it. 

Then again, the kid’s two seconds into flying, so it’s kind of ridiculous of him to assume they’d do it exactly right straight off the bat. 

“Being a stick in the mud is just, like, a vibe, dude,” the kid informs him matter-of-factly, then floats over towards Jay and peers over his shoulder at the screen, then immediately looks bored by whatever’s on it and looks around the lab instead. They still sound nothing like Jon would expect someone made in a lab to sound, and his gut twists a little. 

But also, whatever’s on that screen already made Damian suggest committing multiple murders, and the kid just looks bored about it, one way or the other, so . . . 

So Jon doesn’t know how he feels about that, exactly. A kid who doesn’t sound like they came from a lab and doesn’t act like they came from a lab, but also doesn’t seem even slightly concerned by whatever made Damian seriously consider committing murder again and did not make Jay dissuade him from said consideration. 

It definitely makes him want to get said kid the hell out of this miserable excuse for a basement, though. 

“Just–you guys figure out the theoretical arson, I’ll figure out what to do about the staff, alright?” he says, sighing again. He can probably toss them all in a transport vehicle or two and then just carry those straight to the police while Damian and Jay watch the kid, he figures. Which isn’t great for a “you should send these people to jail” thing, admittedly, so maybe he should actually call the League and see who’s available to help Jay strip the data for damning evidence while removing any damning DNA or anything like that. Or, like, whatever they need right now. 

“I still consider what to do about the staff a fairly simple equation,” Damian mutters under his breath as the kid turns upside-down in the air behind him and peers at the heavy hood of his cape and the sword slung across his back. It’s a sakabato–a reverse blade katana, he means–and the reason that Jon is under pain of kryptonite not allowed to tell Batman anything about anime, like . . . literally ever. It just looks like a normal katana visually, though, especially when it’s sheathed, so he’s not sure why the kid looks so puzzled about– 

“Why’s your sword sharpened on the wrong side?” the kid asks, frowning in bemusement, and Damian pauses. 

Jon pauses, because Damian’s sakabato sheath is lead-lined. Mostly so he has a quick supply of lead in emergencies these days and less because he doesn’t want Jon to know what’s in it, but it’s definitely still lead-lined. There’s no way the kid could’ve seen through it, so how . . . ? 

“It allows the weapon to be used nonlethally,” Damian replies, watching the kid with a neutral expression that screams “suspicion” on a Bat. “As well as making the decision to slay a foe a more deliberate choice, as the weapon must be wielded backwards to cut.” 

“Doesn’t that mean the sharp side’s always pointing towards you?” the kid says, wrinkling their nose. “And like, isn’t it way harder using it backwards, if you gotta?” 

“Yes,” Damian says. “That is the point. The weapon is a handicap meant to keep me from inflicting a mortal wound any way but deliberately, and also to make that wound harder to inflict even once I choose to.” 

“. . . that is so badass, oh my god,” the kid mutters under their breath. 

Jon is still concerned about how the kid found out about Damian’s sword being a sakabato, since if Cadmus had told him he’d think they’d have at least had theories for why it was a thing, but also is now significantly less optimistic about his chances of ending up the kid’s favorite. 

Yeah, he should’ve absolutely told Batman about anime when he was still young enough to get away with it being an “accidental” slip of the tongue and embarrassed Damian out of ever using the damn thing in the field. Like, ever.

[tleeaves]

Rule(heart)breaker pt. II

Tokyo Debunker | Ritsu Shinjo x reader/MC Warnings: none Description: ritsu shinjo fails and try, tries again... and again... aaaand again. contains low grade angst and high-grade ridiculousness. slightly yandere vibes if you get real close and cross your eyes. Author's note: as requested, here's a part ii to this short fic idea here. longer than the first part and there's likely to be a part iii when I can get around to it. writing for ritsu kind of started as a joke since I also study law but now I'm kinda attached to this idea ngl. might eventually edit and upload this series to ao3 as a multi-chapter fic, we'll see. - T. Lee 🍃

It was Day Thirty-three of Ritsu Shinjo’s battle to get you back. He stood in his dormitory room, dressed in a matching set of pinstriped grey pyjamas ironed to perfection, and observed the corkboard he had set up on the wall. Notes, pictures, and red string wound around pins mapping out his trials and errors.

Everything began simple enough at first. A phone call the first day to ask you to reconsider your statement. You did not pick up. Nor would you for the next three days, at which point Ritsu considered his next step. He knew your class schedule by heart. So, naturally, he began trying to track you down between classes to make his case in person. By the end of that first week, you had called him nine colourful terms and flipped him off with three of those.

Ritsu Shinjo knew the risks of client abuses when working in the legal field. He knew the troubles of fickle associates and ruthless adversaries. No one prepared him for an unwilling business partner—let alone one that so swiftly appeared to detest him. A selfish and competitively ambitious partner, certainly, but not one he needed to keep who did not want to be kept.

It would be easier, he had reasoned, to merely acquire a more adequate person to work with who was less cranky, less preoccupied, and more enthusiastic. But Ritsu quickly found that to be impractical option. The use of you was that you were Darkwick Inspector. So, not only did he need you to reel in higher-ranked missions for Sinostra for the credit and sign offs, but he also needed an insider on all the other houses. You were, clearly, the prime person to keep close. And now he had gone and upset you—quite accidentally, of course—which placed Sinostra in a precarious position. Because during the second week, on exactly the Tenth Day of battle, you ignored the request to attend to Sinostra.

Ritsu had ensured the proper avenues from Vice-Captain Romeo S. Lucci to Captain Taiga Hoshibami (via a signature the captain was unlikely to remember giving out) to the heads of the houses and the chancellor himself were all followed. He dotted his i's and crossed his t’s, did it all by the book and followed the chain of authority for once. And somehow you had managed to worm your way out of the Sinostra assignment to take on a different one in Frostheim, a place you were much more difficult to reach when the likes of Jin Kamurai practically held you hostage.

It was affecting Sinostra’s progress. Ritsu Shinjo had brought this upon the house himself and now he needed to amend the mistake before Romeo’s wails of developing premature wrinkles over the matter actually manifested.

On Day Eleven, Ritsu managed to catch you on your way back to the cathedral, thankfully before closing business hours. He made his plea and even offered you an elegant fountain pen from his exquisite collection of stationery to gain favour. His father would approve of buttering up people with professional gifts.

You took the pen and promptly seized Ritsu’s hand to write “DICKHEAD” across the back. His fault, perhaps, for this being the one time he had not worn his gloves. He had watched you storm off (you kept the pen, as was your right, unfortunately, since he had already confirmed it was a gift and therefore equitably transferred ownership) swaying on the path, hand still aloft as the dark ink spelling out his crime against your good humour dried.

He tried coffees for the next series of mornings where he caught you on your way to 9 AM classes and mission calls. You were merciful enough not to spill any on him this time. But many likely poisoned the innocent shrubbery lining the academy’s pathways by the time he gave up that endeavour.

He really, really wanted to accuse you of assault, battery, or littering at the very least. Ritsu knew that to get on your good side though, his role now was not just an agent of the law but a savvy business partner. A partner would put their other partner first if it meant saving their business. And Ritsu was in the business of climbing the ladder, so he needed you. The temptation was difficult to fight when you threw the silver watch he bought you at his head.

He knew he should have opted for gold.

Third week in and he truly began to realise you changed. Ritsu listened back on recordings, paced a trench into the carpet of his rooms, and sorted through his appendices of photographic evidence to pinpoint exactly what it was and when it started. To his surmounting horror, the signs began well before you resigned.

When you first arrived at the academy, you were a timid honour student being dragged around by ghouls every which way with nary a peep made about it. The more familiar with the environment you became, however, the more pronounced your backbone grew. Ritsu felt with an odd sense of pride that you might have come into your own as an advocate like him—if you would only refrain from your more unruly tendencies.

On Day Eighteen, he gifted you a monogrammed handkerchief and kept his invoice for his dry-cleaning from the day of your resigning quiet. He could afford it, even if his pride and sense of equity told him you should be paying for the damages. Ritsu had managed to develop a behavioural chart for you, similar to the one he had for Taiga. That was how he knew the likely time to catch you in a more sedate mood, making you more susceptible to his gifts and pleas. Ritsu straightened up, pleased, when you accepted the handkerchief. You had not accepted his business offer, but he counted this as progress.

At least, that was until he found the handkerchief delivered to his rooms in Sinostra, decorated with dark lipstick marks that seemed to taunt him with its unwashed state. By this point, Ritsu could practically hear your voice saying, pay me for the dry-cleaning this time, asshole. Perhaps he should start a prediction chart for your responses to certain circumstances too.

Things were getting dire when you started disappearing for days at a time on more intense missions with other houses. You still had not returned to Sinostra. Romeo was hanging by a thread. Ritsu kept his cool, same as ever. There was no problem he could not solve.

Save for the fact that it became clear you were ignoring him. Calls, texts, summons, and waves on campus when he managed to catch a rare glimpse of you went unanswered. Worse still, you had other ghouls with you constantly now. That did not stop Ritsu from gathering intelligence though. Most students merely raised eyebrows and continued to ignore him when he recorded your conversations from around corners. This might have been considered a breach of privacy and perhaps even inadmissible as evidence in a court, but you were in a public space and he was not in a courtroom.

Day Twenty-nine and Ritsu found himself swallowing down an uncomfortable feeling. He was trying a bouquet of flowers today. That was professional. Many coworkers gifted each other flowers for various occasions. Ritsu figured this was not far outside the realm of associate-like behaviour.

You had just returned from another gruelling mission that landed you in the clinic. Ritsu carefully placed the bouquet at your bedside with a printed note. You refused to even look at him. If this continued for another month, your curse would be halfway in its progression already. Ritsu would never let the opposition see him sweat. But as he left your room, the one of six handkerchiefs he kept on his person was used to dab at his face.

Ritsu Shinjo was supposed to be perfect. He was going to be Japan’s top attorney. He had been training since early childhood for ruling the nation’s upper class with his knowledge of the law and how to reap rewards from their purses. He knew four languages, minimum, entirely fluently. He knew every classic opera, all manner of geography and jurisdictions, the top restaurants, and dressed impeccably. He got accepted into the most prestigious academy after making a deal with a demon.

If he did not leave this educational institution with the highest of accreditation, would all of that be for nothing? What was the point if he was not the best?

He needed the laurel crown for Sinostra with your assistance this year before either your curse turned you into an anomaly or you were freed from this place to return to your previous life. If Sinostra could come into the academy’s high graces again, it would make proceeding years easier for Ritsu to handle maintaining the house’s status on his own to ensure his graduation came from perfect results.

Five months were just about gone already. If something did not change, fast, he would be losing six, with only six more to go. What would happen the closer you came to the change? Would it be a gradual development or something that occurred all at once at the precise one year mark? If the former, would you still retain enough sound mind to work with Ritsu?

Would you become like Sinostra’s captain? Something worse?

And so here he was, Day Thirty-three and standing in front of his strategy board, breaking out into a cold sweat. Ritsu Shinjo was supposed to be unflappable. When it came to you, he was stumped. He had tried everything, from the direct approach, to notes, to gifts, to flowers, and even both a written and verbal apology. Every trick in the book.

What could he possibly be missing?

The door to his rooms burst open. Affronted, Ritsu took a half-step back, hand reaching for his compendium. “Vice-Captain? It is outside working hours and you are trespass—”

“Silence, YRT! You look to be working overtime anyway,” Romeo declared, slamming the door behind him. “This is GOOH, you need to FTI or so help me, I am ending your contract as Sinostra’s attorney!”

Ritsu blinked. “…GOOH? If you would please clarify—”

“GETTING OUT OF HAND, YOU SBA!”

Perhaps it was better not to ask and hinder the progress of the conversation. “I…” I, what? I have it under control? I will find a way? I, Ritsu Shinjo, paralegal, will resolve this in a timely manner? “How do you win someone over? Someone who hates you?”

Romeo’s irritation sputtered out a little, the creases on his porcelain skin smoothing. “Usually bribery.”

“Tried that.”

“Threats?”

“Futile, illegal.”

Romeo cocked his head to the side. “Have you tried locking them up?”

“That,” said Ritsu with a frown, “would constitute false imprisonment, which is also illegal, and is punishable by—”

“Whatever, shut up,” Romeo snapped, waving away the statement. “I thought you Shinjos were supposed to be morally bankrupt.”

Ritsu felt a prickle run up his spine. Holding his vice-captain’s gaze, he murmured, “No comment.”

“This is about that BB honour student, yes? She’s a woman like any other.” Romeo snapped his fingers. “Seduce her.”

“…I— beg your pardon?”

“You heard me! Seduce the honour student. That solves the part where she hates you, where she avoids you, and it will undoubtedly lead her back to Sinostra.” Wrinkling his delicate nose, Romeo added, “Just no risqué displays on the casino floor. I would rather not see that, nor do I wish to drive away the money.”

Ritsu opened his mouth. Shut it. Opened again. And fell shut. A peculiar heat buzzed over his skin. Finally, he said, “There must be another way. I will keep researching.”

Romeo scoffed. “At this rate, she’ll be an anomaly before she so much as looks at you again. If all other methods of enticing her to help us have already failed,” he explained, surprisingly patient, “then you must take more extreme action. People sleep with each other all the time to rise among ranks.”

“N— no one said anything about—”

“Shut up! Don’t you get it, you DTH? If you seduce her, she will become obsessed with you, will do whatever you say, and we can use her for Sinostra’s gain. It’s EAP.”

Ritsu wandered over to his desk chair and sat with the weight of his thoughts. What more did he have to lose if he tried this new strategy? You would reject his initial advances, undoubtedly, but perhaps if he investigated the best courting techniques and combined it with Romeo’s suggestion, it might be possible to soften you with something more personal than business. He supposed he had already tried everything else. It was nigh unreasonable how stubborn you were being. Yet…

“All right. I’ll do it.” Ritsu turned to his binder and his laptop to begin his research. “I will develop a plan and swiftly execute it within the next month. That should give Sinostra enough time to regain standing once I… have reacquired the inspector.”

“Do you know what you’re doing?” Romeo asked, dubious.

“Courting and seduction are thousands of years old arts, and I am something of a connoisseur of arts, naturally. I, Ritsu Shinjo, must move up my plan for a romantic partner. I knew this day would come eventually. It goes without saying that this need not be permanent, since I have different criterion—”

“Whatever, BSB,” interrupted Romeo. “Just get it done or you can forget about the contract.” The door slammed shut once again.

Ritsu glanced at his corkboard and then removed the sheet he had been writing on from his binder and pinned it up next to a picture of you.

The Girlfriend Strategy.

[mothiir]

what dog i think 40k boys would be

based entirely on non-scientific vibes and discussion with @lemon-russ. this started off kind of silly but very quickly became an excuse for me to get slightly deep with the characterisation. slight cw for referenced animal abuse i suppose?

the emperor - border collie

now, for those of you unfamiliar with dogs you may think that picking a medium-sized herding dog is a strange choice for the Master of Mankind. However, if you have ever met a border collie — specifically, a working border collie — you will know exactly where I am going with this. These dogs are ferociously intelligent, completely single-minded, and wedded to their purpose. They will not be distracted from their work by foolish things like ‘fun’ — they will herd those sheep, damn it, and they will herd them where they are meant to be. The Emperor, like a border collie, is distant with his affection, and does not allow room for negotiation: the sheep will go in the pasture, and there they shall stay. But, I hear you protest, the border collie obeys the shepherd, and the Emperor obeys no one but himself! to this I say that the Emperor is his own shepherd; his Plan for humanity is the metaphorical co-pilot here, and it is this plan that guides his fleet, furry feet.

2. malcador — poodle. specifically a miniature white one.

Look, it sounds ridiculous, but poodles are incredibly clever dogs and you’d be a fool to underestimate one — just as you would be a fool to imagine that the frail old man at the Emperor’s side is anything other than a world-destroying threat.

3. the lion — irish wolfhound

Getting into the Primarchs now. It has been said that the Lion has major cat energy — which is completely true. However, I would argue that he ultimately is a hunting hound; a knight at his father’s side, bidden to go where he must. Like a wolfhound, he is tireless, powerful — but also frail in his youth, frailer than you might think (wolfhound pups are notoriously prone to injury because of their longer legs and how clumsy they can be). It is only with age that he reaches his full potential. Also, like most hunting dogs, he likes his sleep.

4. leman russ - a wolf

Well, obviously. However, it’s a really key point that he is a wolf not a dog, because all too often those two things are seen as synonymous when they really aren’t. Wolves and dogs are separated by ten thousand years of evolution, and they rarely get on. Russ loves his family — his fellow wolves — but struggles to relate to his canid brothers, who all seem just a little distant from him. He is drawn to humans (the pull of domestication is strong, even for the wild beast he is), and clashes regularly with the Lion (hounds and wolves can work together, but never rest easy at the same fire).

5. Magnus - borzoi

I’ve said before that Magnus is definitely a borzoi, because they are such eldritch looking creatures — like they know all of the secrets of the universe and they are not planning to tell you. Borzoi are not always viewed as the most intelligent of dogs, but that’s misleading — they’re actually very cunning in their own way, just not necessarily the easiest to train (just like a certain headstrong red fool we know). Independent-minded, a little aloof, friendly to their family — Magnus is a sight hound through and through. And, of course, should he be given a reason to hunt down wolves, he will do so with the baying of his ancestors singing in his ears, and the scent of burning Prospero lodged in his nose.

6. Perturabo - Staffordshire terrier

Squat, grumpy-looking, and sometimes vicious — it’s easy to see the worst of Perturabo in the worst of the staffie. Bred to be pest-killers and dog-fighters, there’s a persistent, harmful idea that these dogs need ‘a firm hand’ when they’re being raised. However, ill-treatment only serves to make these dogs neurotic, nervy and prone to biting — raised correctly, they are soppy and sweet and just want to snuggle on the sofa with the people they love. Unfortunately, Peturabo was reared unappreciated and maltreated, and now it is everyone’s problem.

7. Angron - Old English Mastiff

Mastiffs may have a fearsome appearance, but they are actually some of the sweetest dogs around; happy, dopey drool-machines that only want to spend time glued to their family. But Angron was snatched from his mother’s teat too young, beaten and scourged and forced to bite, and the result is a warped, twisted image of what a mastiff should be: barely-champed down fury, and the sort of hatred that is born when love turns inside out and sour. Every shelter has had to make a horrible choice with certain dogs — seeing that they are too deeply damaged to ever recover, they have done the kindest thing and ended the creature’s suffering, hoping that the next world will be gentler than this one. But no one ever did that for Angron. He is locked outside his master’s house, because at least his anguished howls keep away intruders.

8. Vulkan - Great Pyrenees

Despite their fearsome appearance, livestock guardian breeds like the Great Pyrenees are actually gentle with their flock, living amongst the sheep (like the Salamanders with their human families) — grooming the lambs, cuddling up with the ewes, patrolling with the rams. They are utterly devoted to their task, willing to die for those they sleep alongside, but they love them, and are loved dearly in return. Vulkan is many times larger than his human companions, but they clamber all over him — young and old alike — and he holds them close, vowing to keep them safe from harm, even at the cost of his own life.

9. Sanguinius - Bedlington terrier

You might have to google this one, since it is a little obscure. And now that you have googled it, I probably have some work to do in order to convince you that this floofy terrier is the perfect representation of the Blood Angel Primarch. So, first of all — these terriers are strikingly beautiful. Eye-catchingly adorable — in a strange sort of way , a fey kind of cuteness that has you looking twice. They are sweet little family pets — however, the instant they catch scent of a rat their ancestry rears its head, and they turn into floofy little killers, breaking spines and crushing skulls with merry abandon. And if you need any more convincing think of this — doesn’t the terrier look like a lamb? A cutesy little lamb? A sacrificial lamb?

[roll-for-gaslight]

I'm not sure exactly how to put my thoughts into words so pardon my rambling but I'm thinking about how Kristen, Adaine, and Fig's character growth all stems from growing into a person they always could have been in a better situation. Also, it's interesting the way the bad kids seem to bring out these parts of each other because they're healing!

Like I know it was a kind of jokey moment but Adaine's little "Fabian hit me!!!!!" versus her insistence on being independent to the point of endangering her mental and physical wellbeing! She grew up so independent, unable to ask for help because of the risk of being ridiculed. She never asks for help and holds herself to an incredibly high standard. But that's not how her childhood should have ideally gone! She was supposed to have a big sister to tattle on and fight with, she was supposed to be taken care of! The BKs make her feel safe and cared for in a way her family never did, so her character development very much means slipping into the "little sister" position she was always supposed to occupy.

Fig pushed down her natural and newly-forming personality when the very foundation of her identity changed. She threw herself so wholly and entirely into her new aesthetic and vibe and vehemently denied the version of her that came before. Now she's growing to accept herself at all stages of her life, to a version of herself that brings in the parts of both her childhood and post-tiefling personalities that she likes and forms something new that makes her comfortable.

For Kristen, losing her religion made her lose a sense of identity. Without her parents to take care of her or her brothers for her to take care of, she was suddenly accountable to absolutely no one. She has Jawbone and Sandralynn, technically, but from what we've seen neither of them actually parent her a lot. So, she leaned hard into doing whatever she wanted, living wildly, engaging in all the things she never got to before, living a life as far away from her childhood as possible, and that's reflected in her clerical work. She loves Cassandra and wants her to thrive, but hates that what that means has a lot of overlap with what it meant to be Helio's Chosen. Like the daily prayer, the proselytizing, it reminds her too much of the things she was raised to do for Helio, and the fact that Cassandra needs Kristen to take care of her makes her accountable to someone in a way that she really wasn't for a while. Now that she's in the back half of her character arc, trying to bring Cassandra back and working hard for it, she's growing a little more responsible. There have been a lot of good moments this season where she's tried to help other people outside of combat-necessary healing, such as giving Lydia Barkrock the help action and the way she reacts after Fabian attacks Adaine (which I know is technically "combat-necessary healing" but how it happened came across as very Big Sister, like pulling the crayon out of her brother's nose in the first episode, especially with how it was immediately followed not with a bit like everyone else but with "oh no fabian got possessed I hope he's okay!!!! poor fabian!!!!!"

[totallyjustabunchofhocuspocus]

I know "fuck canon" is always an option and generally the more sensible thing to do, but with last night's episode I had two smidgens of HOPE and now with Tim's apparent new interview I just want to crawl back into my cave again 🫥

Hi nonnie!

TLDR (cause I'm having THOUGHTS): I don't think anything is off the table, if I had to bet money I'd lay somewhat decent odds that Buck and Tommy get back together, and I don't think either side of the ship war has anything in particular that indicates victory.

I'll preface this by saying yes, 'fuck canon'is usually the more sensible option. 'Fuck canon' is where no one ever dies, people do not make stupid decisions, and couples never break up.

And I'll also preface this by saying that Buck is my favorite character (honestly one of my favorite characters of all time, not just this show) and my ultimate OTP is Buck/Happiness in this show, however he gets it and whoever gives it to him. I am quite happy being a multishipper and I started out in fandom spaces back in the mid-nineties, where the etiquette and relationship to the content were vastly, vastly different than today and that really colors the lense I view fandom through. In the ship war, I'm mostly Switzerland.

Still with me? Okay.

My main source of optimism re: Buck/Tommy is the simple fact that guys...911 is Not That Deep. It's a fun show (usually), predicated on ridiculous Situations (increasingly), and in movie terms is a cash-grab popcorn flick. Have they hit something with the characters and actors that often elevates it above its station? Absolutely. Are there parts that make you go, "whoa, this came from the shark on a highway weewoo show?" Of course! But 911 isn't fucking Inception. There's no hidden messages and jaw-dropping plot twists that No One Saw Coming.

Like...all the cries about "learn some media literacy you cretins!" really have me scratching my head because, uh, taking everything solely at face value--this absolutely is the Third Act Miscommunication in the relationship. Both parties expressed a desire for the relationship to be more. They broke up on the tried and true "I'm doing this for both our sakes'even though it hurts" and not a dealbreaker schism which they ABSOLUTELY could have done. Literally, one scene of "wow I can't wait to be a dad/oh, uh that's not something I want" and we have a reason to break up that has the exact same "no villains just circumstance" vibe.

On the other hand, it absolutely is a stopping point that is believably permanent.

They went out of their way to show how desperately much Buck wants to talk to Tommy (like we turned it into a meme, but they didn't really have to show him baking That Much) and how he's spiraling in a way we haven't really seen since Abby. In a Hallmark romcom this would be where the audience is reassured that our plucky protagonist has Real Feelings for the LI.

On the other hand, the show often uses Buck as comic relief and the keep away with the phone could absolutely be the indicator that this breakup isn't as serious as Buck thinks it is and he should move on.

The interviews are pretty disheartening, but the interviews for this show really honestly have always had a kind of weird monkey's paw quality to them. Like, they don't lie exactly, but there's a lot of misdirect.

As it stands now, the relationship 100% reads like a Hallmark romcom that is being written by people who Had a Gay Friend In College Guys, So of COURSE We Know What We're Doing...wait why are you discoursing?

On the other hand, as it stands now, it also wouldn't be surprising if this was the end. I honestly don't think they have 100% decided how it's going to go and the writing and especially the pacing this season has been so uneven that it's not hiding the flaws in the storytelling as well as it usually does.

But, if canon goes in a direction I don't like, I have no problem saying 'fuck canon' ;)

[ceruleanwhore]

I know it's been a minute since Hazbin dropped and I'm late to the hate train but I have things I want to say, so I shall.

First off, the whole thing makes absolutely no fucking sense, conceptually. There is really no good way to execute this batshit idea of Lucifer having a daughter and that daughter deciding to start a fucking hotel in Hell to redeem sinners so they can go to Heaven. Also, the culling shit with the angels showing up to just kill already dead souls for no reason also makes no sense and there really isn't any way to make it make sense.

Secondly, when making yet another piece of media inspired by Christian canon, even if it is Christianity and you hate the religion, you absolutely have to know the source material before you go fucking with it. That's why, for example, Dogma is such a good movie but this series falls flat even though both are comedic critiques of Christianity - Dogma understands the subject well enough to criticize it intelligently whereas Hazbin feels like it was conceptualized and made by someone who only watched like two episodes of Veggie Tales and otherwise knows jack shit about the religion. Throwing Lilith in there is worse because she isn't even in Christianity and it has the same vibes as when CCD classes host a Passover Seder by and for a bunch of gentiles to 'teach' about what Jesus was up to when he was around. It's just so disrespectful. Actually, that's what it is - the creators learned everything they know about Christianity, Heaven, and Hell from Tumblr posts which is definitely why she's in there.

If they knew more about the thing they're trying to make a whole ass show about, Adam and Eve wouldn't have been angels, there would be no hotel because you could just have the creation of Purgatory instead or, at the very least, some take on the harrowing of Hell and salvation of the virtuous pagans in Limbo. Also, even if you don't want to touch the Bible because it's icky (and I mean yeah), all you had to do was read like Dante's Inferno and peep the Ars Goetia and then actually make a structured Hell with a hierarchy and everything. I think kinda like what Rachel Smythe did with the worldbuilding in Lore Olympus, they wanted to modernize Hell for some reason, so the turf war/mafia type shit was supposed to replace a stronger hierarchy of Hell with princes and dukes and presidents and such, but I fucking hate it and there's no goddamn structure.

More importantly, the worldbuilding of Hell itself completely misses the fucking point of Hell as a thing. Hell is there both to contain Satan and the fallen angels who joined him in that uprising thing that one time and also to serve as a place where sinners go when they die and are punished for their sins. We never see even once any sort of actual system for sorting all these souls and punishing them for their sins. On the contrary, characters like Angel Dust appear to get to do drugs for the rest of their immortal lives and, since they're dead, it's not like those are going to kill them so it really doesn't read like a punishment. The closest we get to actual punishments are when the sinners/demons have gone and made deals that give other residents of Hell control over them, like how Husk is under Alastor's control and then Alastor apparently also has some kind of deal screwing him over, and Angel's situation with shitty boa dude is pretty similar too. It feels like they did the extermination shit to replace punishment in Hell along with these deals we see here and there, which is utterly fucking ridiculous and makes absolutely no sense.

The other thing I'd add kind of going off that is that Heaven in this series also makes literally no fucking sense. It's actually also the biggest issue I have with Good Omens that it makes NO SENSE for the angels to have no clue what God's plan is or, in this case, how souls even get into Heaven. The whole fucking point is that there's an entire, nicely structured hierarchy for exactly this. Seraphim, cherubim, and thrones are all closest to God, so they can get the info from Them and pass it to the lower ranks. Hell, this could even be how you get problems, like you make it a bit of a gimmick that Heaven runs on a massive game of telephone. It also could've been a way to have some really cool variety in character design, so maybe some of the higher ranking angels look like the weird biblical shit with all the eyes and fire and they get progressively more normal as you go down the hierarchy. Instead, they picked like three recognizable names, made them into pretty people with wings and potentially also stupid Homestuck looking masks, and threw them in our face while just refusing to actually bother with worldbuilding or character design.

That brings me to the third thing which is that, when doing a series like this based on something like Christianity, you really have to sit down and figure out what kind of God your Christian God in your series is going to be, even if They never show up on screen. Is this God distant and neglectful and that's how all this shit is happening? Or do we have the wrathful God of the Israelites who regularly exterminates Hell out of pure sadistic rage? Or do we have a weak God on the verge of death who is barely present out of necessity while the angels take advantage of that absence and run amok? And it's not even just that determining what kind of God is supposed to be the God of this series would inform why stuff happens like it does, it would also help the writers to have a sense of direction and motive for what happens.

The writing in the show is all over the fucking place and figuring out what kind of God this God is meant to be is the very first question they should've asked themselves and it would've prevented most of the problems that currently exist in the show. If we had that, then maybe we wouldn't have weird shit with Lucifer where he very much does not feel like he's the devil at all and also Charlie is supposed to have daddy issues but then he shows up and is just a really adoring and supportive dad so that doesn't make sense. If we had that, then maybe Hell would have a fucking structure because we would actually have the motive behind Hell itself and why it exists. If we had that, then maybe we could get into the nitty gritty of the ethical/theological complexities of Hell and how, no matter how you slice it, it's really God's will at the end of the day so we could get a whole debate over if Lucifer is even evil or if God is just controlling and sadistic and all that. If we had that then maybe we could even have some reveal about how sin isn't even a concrete thing and the true nature of Hell is that it's a place people choose to go when they die because they don't feel worthy of salvation and they feel in their soul that they need to be punished. Anything, really.

Fourth is that it really, really shouldn't be a musical series. The pacing fucking sucks and they overexplain everything and I just feel like if you took all the time spent on shitty musical numbers and instead put it into showing, not telling, and also developing characters and relationships, it could be a lot better. If there was more time for shit, then maybe Charlie could not be a Mary Sue and Vaggie could have a personality and Angel could be an actual fucking character that isn't just an animated twink with trauma who gets off on violating people's boundaries. Also, I just really didn't like most of the songs in the series (outside the series they're fine) and I skipped a lot of those scenes.

Fifth and final is that it really just wasn't funny. A lot of the stuff that was supposed to be funny was just excessive swearing that felt completely unnatural, like that tiktok going around of that girl saying the n word. If you're bothering to do a whole series set in Hell that's ostensibly about Christianity, then why tf aren't you leaning more into biting criticism of Christianity for your humor? If they'd just gone full Dogma with this, it would've been so much better but no.

So yeah, it fucking sucked and so did the character design.

[fairytaleendingss]

Marauders Christmas Shopping Headcanons

So this is low-key inspired by my friend and I Christmas shopping the other day. We always joke that we're very James and Remus coded haha. Let me know any other ideas you have for this! Also if you'd like me to make more headcanons.

--

I feel like James is quite a chaotic person in general and I imagine Christmas shopping would be no exception.

One of James' main love languages is gifts and he loves buying things for people so this is his favourite Christmas tradition.

He rocks up to the shopping center with absolutely no plan, just vibes.

He's the kind of person to just follow his heart when it comes to presents and somehow he never misses. He just looks around until he finds something he thinks the person will like and makes an impulse purchase.

He probably gets distracted looking at something he wants for himself in the process.

Makes his friends wait while he tries on a bunch of clothes.

"James, you don't need to by that. It's literally about to be Christmas." "But Remus it's so cool!"

He's the kind of person who would think he found the perfect gift for someone but then see something else he thinks they'll like and just have to buy that for them as well.

Ends up buying like 4 presents for each person.

Thank god he has money.

Remus I feel is the polar opposite of that.

He's extremely thoughtful and probably plans out what he wants to get everyone in advance.

I feel like he'd probably even make notes throughout the year of things his friends and family mention they like/want so he can reference it later.

He's very methodical about his shopping. He knows exactly what shops he wants to visit and what he's going going to purchase.

He probably has a well-thought out budget as well as to what he's willing to spend on each gift.

He's a quick and efficient sort of guy and ends up getting all of his gifts in the first hour of the trip.

He then spends the rest of the time being dragged around by his friends (particularly James).

Unfortunately I don't think Sirius would be particularly into Christmas.

Because of everything with his family, it's never been a very nice time of year for him (until he went to live with James, that is.)

It wasn't until then that Sirius actually started enjoying the holidays.

So he's very new to the whole happy, wholesome Christmas thing.

He pretends to be annoyed about having to buy things for people but secretly he enjoys it.

He's a complete show off with presents. He always buys ridiculously expensive gifts for people and pretends it's nothing.

"Do you think she'd like that?" *points to a 24k gold, diamond necklace*

He'd get really bored after a couple of hours and start to complain, like how little kids do when their Mum drags them along for shopping.

He has absolutely no patience whatsoever.

He'd probably need to go on several trips before all his shopping is done.

He would just end up flirting with all the retail workers by the end of it.

He and James would probably do something stupid like knocking over a display or something and end up getting kicked out of the mall.

(Additionally, I feel like when Harry is born, he'd always spoil him on Christmas and Birthdays with insanely expensive presents from "Uncle Padfoot" that James and Lily would scold him for.)

Peter is an overthinker to his core.

I think Christmas shopping would stress him out.

He wants to get everyone the perfect present but he can't make up his mind about what he should by.

Probably makes the group go back to the same shops multiple times because he can't decide if he should buy that item he saw in there or not.

(Something all the boys would moan about)

Stares at an item for like 20 minutes umming and ahing over whether or not to get it for someone.

Remus and James try to help him decide but give him completely opposing advice which just confuses him more.

Remus: Do you remember them mentioning that they'd like something like that? Did you get them to write you a Christmas list?

James: None of that matters. Just go with your gut. When you see the right thing, you'll know.

Peter: aaaaaahhhh.

Finally buys something but then changes his mind 10 minutes later and returns it.

He'd end up leaving the trip with nothing and would have to come back and try again another day.

Lily, I imagine would be a very practical gift giver.

She and James would balance each other out because while James buys a lot of really fun, thoughtful gifts for people, Lily would buy them stuff they actually need.

She has go-to shops she visits every year.

She's been known to buy people things like household appliances, dishware, pieces of clothing or new sporting equipment (particularly for James.)

Everything she buys is really really good quality.

Although it's slightly less exciting than some might think, it's always very personalized and thoughtful.

I feel like Mary loves making people homemade presents.

That or she does something really personal like framing a picture of their friend group or making a scrapbook.

She's very sentimental and her gifts are as well.

I feel like she probably crochets things for people for some reason.

Marlene without fail, buys every single one of her friends a joke present.

She also probably cracks up laughing at their expression when they open it.

James always loves it.

One year she bought him an apron that said "May I suggest the sausage?" and he unironically wore it every time he was in the kitchen (much to Lily's dismay).

[fuckyeahdindjarin]

Congrats on your unique milestone!!

Hmm how about a micro with Dieter Bravo and Library AU?

Hi lovely! Thank you for this request. This turned out to be something completely different than what I expected, but... I kind of dig the vibe 🤷🏻‍♀️ I have no good explanation for this, but I hope you find some kind of enjoyment in it!

Dieter Bravo x library AU

Fuck Yeah 2222 Sleepover micro drabble request | 800 words | warnings: grumpy, booklover!Dieter, librarian!Reader, I honestly don't know what else to say lol, I can't explain what I've written

Dieter Bravo tosses a dogeared paperback onto the check-out counter at the local library and fishes for his wallet somewhere in the depths of his sweatpants.

You take one look at the familiar cover, and blurt out, ‘That’s my favourite book.’

He hums, not particularly interested in your opinion as he hands you his library card, which you’d personally printed out and laminated when the request from the mayor’s office came through a week ago.

At his dismissive air, you grumble under your breath, ‘It’s way better than that dumpster fire of a book that your movie is adapted from.’

That catches his attention.

Skeptical eyebrows ascend from behind his dark sunglasses. ‘Is that right?’

Having checked out the book, you slide it across the desk to him with a faux sweet smile. ‘Wouldn’t you like to know.’

Dieter comes into the library every Thursday, after filming hours. You want to say you don’t understand why he does, but your workplace is one of two spots that’s still open after six o’clock in your tiny little town, the other being the local diner. And you guess there’s only so much drugs you can do in one’s hotel room before that gets boring too.

The next week, he returns your favourite book and surprises you with a question. ‘Got anything else like this one?’

So back and forth you go. He never tells you if he likes the books. He barely grunts two words at you, the sunglasses always firmly on, ringed fingers tapping on the counter impatiently when you beep the bar codes on his card and the book you recommend that week.

You don’t mind. You work at the library for a reason, and it’s not for a love of talking.

The weeks wind down, and soon there are whispers that his movie will wrap soon, in a couple of weeks. You’re not exactly sad, but you’ve liked sharing your favourite books with this man, whose glitzy, high-flying life is so far removed from yours - and yet your eyes have read the same words, your fingertips have traced the same lines of text, and your hands have turned the same pages.

The penultimate Thursday, when Dieter walks up to your counter, you have a book ready for him.

It’s a departure from the established routine - you usually tell him where the book is, and he goes fetch it himself. He doesn’t question you though, and instead, waits for the blurb that you always give him by way of an introduction. When you shrug wordlessly, he arches an eyebrow at you, but he doesn’t probe.

The next Thursday, you’re down with the flu and you call in sick for the day. If you’re honest with yourself, you’re relieved that you won’t see Dieter for the last time. Filming has wrapped, and you know he’s flying out this evening (there are no secrets in a small town).

Your dinner of canned chicken soup is bubbling on the stove when there’s a knock on your door. Swinging it open, you wonder if you’re high on your flu medicine.

Dieter Bravo is standing on your tiny doorstep, which is barely wide enough to accommodate his broad shoulders. He holds the book in one big hand, his ridiculous rings catching the porch lights. Something is off, and it takes you a few more moments to realise why -

He’s not wearing his sunglasses.

Warm brown eyes hold yours as he says more than asks, ‘You wrote this, didn’t you?’

His confident statement steals the breath right out of your parted lips, and you stare back at him, dumbfounded.

Not a single soul knows. You published the book under a pseudonym with a small press on the other side of the country and made enough to cover your costs, which was more than you expected. Covertly, you ordered a copy for the library, and it’s been checked out exactly three times in the last four years. It’s been sitting in its little spot, gathering dust until you took it off the shelf last week on an impulse.

You realise that Dieter is still waiting for your answer, but the words don’t come. The car sitting on the curb honks, and he smiles ruefully before pushing the book into your limp hands, and walks away without looking back.

When the SUV rounds the corner, your gaze drops to the paperback. His eyes have read the same words that you wrote, his fingertips have traced the same lines of text that you know by heart, his hands have turned the same pages you now fan through - 

Something falls out of the book and you just manage to catch it before it flutters out of reach. 

It’s a name card with Dieter’s cell number on one side, and on the other, in precarious handwriting that can only be his -

Wanna make a movie?

[nausicaamusiclover20]

A night among the stars💫

 The power went out just as I finished setting the table. The soft hum of the holiday playlist I’d curated all week disappeared, plunging the apartment into silence. I stood there, holding the plate of cookies I’d just pulled from the oven, staring at the now-dark Christmas tree.

“Seriously?” I muttered, placing the cookies down with a huff.

From the couch, Kirk let out a dramatic sigh. “Well, so much for the cozy Christmas vibe you planned.” His voice was teasing, but I could hear the disappointment laced underneath.

I sighed, sinking into the chair opposite him. “I wanted this to be perfect. The dinner, the lights, the music…” I trailed off, gesturing at the darkened room.

Kirk was quiet for a moment, then stood, grabbing the thick plaid blanket from the back of the couch. “Come on.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Come where? We’re kind of stuck here until the power comes back.”

“Exactly,” he said, already slipping his boots on by the door. “Which means it’s the perfect time to improvise. Trust me, you’ll love it.”

Despite my grumbling, I followed him, bundling up in my coat and scarf as he led me up the narrow staircase to the rooftop. The cold air bit at my cheeks when we stepped outside, but the view stopped me in my tracks.

The city, usually alive with flashing lights and bustling noise, was almost completely dark. Above us stretched an endless expanse of stars, more vibrant than I’d ever seen in my life. The snow shimmered in the faint moonlight, and everything was so still, it felt like we were the only two people in the world.

“Oh,” I breathed, forgetting my earlier frustration. “It’s beautiful.”

Kirk grinned, already spreading the blanket on the ground. “I thought you might like it. Come on, stargazer.”

I rolled my eyes but smiled, sitting down next to him and pulling the blanket over both of us. The snow was soft beneath us, and the chill in the air made it impossible not to huddle close.

“Look,” he said, pointing upward. “That’s Orion. See the three stars in a row? That’s his belt. It’s one of the easiest constellations to find.”

I followed his finger and spotted the line of stars cutting through the night sky. “Oh, I see it. And the rest?”

He tilted his head slightly. “The two bright ones above are his shoulders, and the ones below are his feet. The legend says he’s a hunter, chasing across the heavens forever.”

I leaned back against him, gazing at the constellation. “That’s kind of poetic. Orion feels like the perfect one to watch over a night like this.”

“Why’s that?” Kirk asked, his voice soft.

“Because he’s constant,” I said. “No matter where we are, we’ll always see him up there. It’s like he’s anchoring the sky, keeping it steady.”

Kirk was quiet for a moment before murmuring, “You know, I think you just made Orion way cooler than I ever could.”

I smiled, threading my fingers through his under the blanket. “Thanks. But do you think he ever gets tired of chasing the stars?”

Kirk tilted his head, considering it. “Maybe. But I think he keeps chasing because it gives him purpose. Something to hold onto, even in the dark.”

I let that sink in, glancing at Kirk. He wasn’t looking at Orion anymore; he was looking at me.

“What?” I asked softly.

“Nothing.” His lips curved into that warm, familiar smile I loved. “I just think… You’re kind of my Orion.”

I blinked, caught off guard. “What do you mean?”

“You’re constant,” he said simply, his voice low and steady. “Even when things feel chaotic or uncertain, you’re always there, steadying me. Like right now.”

My chest tightened, and I felt tears prick at the corners of my eyes. “Kirk…”

“Don’t cry,” he teased, pulling me closer. “This is supposed to be the fun part where we make up ridiculous stories about constellations.”

I laughed, brushing at my eyes. “Fine. That cluster over there? That’s The Cozy Reindeer.”

He groaned, laughing despite himself. “The Cozy Reindeer? That’s your big contribution to astronomy?”

“Absolutely,” I said, feigning seriousness. “Historians will thank me one day.”

He chuckled, his eyes softening. “You know, it’s funny… I’ve been looking at these stars for years, but I never really thought about their stories, about what they represent.”

“I guess it’s easy to forget when you’re just staring at them without thinking,” I said. “But they have a history, don’t they? A purpose.”

He nodded, his gaze still fixed on the sky. “Yeah. Like Orion. He’s not just a cluster of stars. He’s part of something bigger. His story is about chasing, about never giving up, even in the face of hardship.”

I smiled, moving a little closer to him. “It’s kind of like our own story. We’ve had our ups and downs, but we’re still here. Still chasing the same things.”

Kirk’s voice softened. “I think you’re right.”

And just like that, I realized something: all the noise, all the rushing around to make things perfect—none of it mattered. This quiet, unexpected moment with Kirk was more perfect than anything I could’ve planned. The power could stay off for all I cared.

As we sat there, bundled in the cold, the stars above seemed to glow brighter, their meaning growing deeper as we shared our own thoughts about life, love, and the future. We were both quiet for a while, taking in the silence of the night and the vastness of the sky.

Kirk eventually spoke again, breaking the stillness. “You know, there’s another part of Orion’s story, right?”

I raised an eyebrow, intrigued. “What part?”

“It’s said that after his death, Artemis, who was his friend, placed him in the sky as a constellation. So no matter where we are, we can always look up and see him, remember him.”

I shivered slightly, not from the cold, but from the beauty of what he’d said. “That’s... That’s so beautiful. He’s always up there, watching over everything.”

“Exactly,” Kirk said softly. “And maybe that’s what it’s about. We leave pieces of ourselves behind in the things we love. We become part of something bigger.”

I let his words wash over me, my mind drifting back to the stars above. As the snow continued to fall lightly around us, the world felt smaller, simpler, and yet somehow more connected. Like everything we needed was already here. Just us. Under the stars.

The silence between us was comfortable now, filled with an understanding that didn’t need words. After a while, Kirk stood up, dusting the snow off his jeans.

“Let’s head inside,” he said, holding out his hand. “The power’s probably back on by now.”

I hesitated, my eyes lingering on the night sky for just a moment longer. But as I looked back at him, his hand outstretched and his smile waiting, I realized there was no rush. The night could last a little longer.

I took his hand, standing up with him, and together we walked back to the rooftop door, carrying the warmth of the stars with us.

[rdbrainz]

info post 💪 this one may read a bit stranger than the last one because i just translated the text i initially wrote down in russian (lazy ass) sorry in advance Volto Pirro Ljung Number 3 Zanpakuto: Pazuzu, a rapier twisted into a cone-like shape with golden wings and a skull on its guard Resurrección: Vulture Other: h - 187cm, w - around 84kg, he's not particularly large, but he's also not skinny Status at the end of the story: Alive, location unknown

Volto is the direct personification of someone surrounded by the wrong company. And not so much a company that instills bad habits and opinions, but a company that makes you feel alone. Despite being the number 3, Volto is both an outcast and an integral part of the troupe. He is Pierrot. This is his role, and it's often the subject of jokes and ridicule from the other Arrancar. No theater or circus performance can do without a sad clown because other people's grief is funny. Ljung doesn't share the views of the other members of the troupe about the importance of fun and entertainment in life. He does understand them, because he has been in the same boat as them for hundreds of years now, but he can't find the strength to be content with the same things as others. There is simply nothing to smile about. He has a somewhat nihilistic outlook on life and considers his situation hopeless. But he is still firmly convinced that the seeker will always find either death or answers to his own questions. Only he doesn't know what exactly he should be looking for. As he will realize later - the right people. He clearly understands his position in the group and in this world. He is still here, despite the condescending attitude of others, only because he is useful and there is no point in running away - he has explored Hueco Mundo from high up several times, each time convincing himself even more that there is NOTHING there, and in the human world, he will forever remain a stranger. And there was nothing to do there alone anyway. So Volto simply accepted his fate, smothering the last shreds of hope. He sees his own salvation in fulfilling the troupe's goal, whether it be his own death or world domination. In fact, Volto isn't half as pessimistic as he appears in the story, he's just tired and apathetic due to circumstances. If you strip away all that, you'll find that he has a rather rebellious attitude and a kind, relaxed personality. He's no stranger to emotions and feelings. He's also a cunning son of a bitch and knows a lot about others because he's omnipresent, even though you may not even realize he's around. A moderately cruel but loyal friend. My friend once said he has a hippie vibe and she's probably right. Well, bro is something between a metalhead and a hippie, if we're gonna get into archetypes. Volto is very interested in befriending Ikkon, as they are both loners with untapped talents and potential, but it is to no avail. He constantly follows him around the building whenever the opportunity presents itself and tries to strike up a conversation one way or another. Agreda, as you can imagine, doesn't like that very much. But the two of them have developed a close bond nonetheless.

His ability is to manipulate flesh while absorbing enough of its biomaterial - either the flesh itself or blood. With the living, it is limited in time and effect (plus, the amount he's eaten also plays a role), but with the dead, he can do whatever he wants, up to completely altering the body structure into something completely different - like weapons, wings, or decorative elements. The formation of the troupe was by no means an easy or quick process and "selecting the cast" and establishing the rules of coexistence left behind mountains of corpses, almost all of which Volto got to use. Even now, what remains after his comrades-in-arms falls into his hands. From ones deliberately killed for some peculiarity that would come in handy, to decapitated victims of Ikkon's doings. As time went on, the presence of once-living puppets around him began to take a toll on Volto. No matter how depersonalized he tried to make them, the thought of their origins would not leave him. Activating his Resurrección gives Volto wings with a very large spread and an additional joint that allows him to fold them over his head like a roof. On the back side, they look normal, but on the underside, they are not fully covered in plumage and are full of a large number of strange-looking furrows of flesh and holes from which poison or poisonous gas oozes. Also possesses a deadly breath. The ability aims to take either the life of the victim or someone around them as quickly as possible to use as a puppet later. In short, pessimism is contagious, it poisons not only your life but also those around you, you know *wink-wink*. The power of his wings easily helps him to lift sand into the air and make sandstorms. Pazuzu is a demon of winds, bringing death and drought. Was named after an archetype of Italian theatrical masks (if you can call it that) that most resemble a human face without emotion - Volto. Pirro is a variation of the spelling of Pierrot's name, and the last name Ljung belongs to the Norwegian bass player from Zeromancer, Kim Ljung.

[mcdonaldsplayground]

| actually the worst | part 6

ao’nung x f!reader

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | bonus part

summary: when you wake up somewhere you aren't supposed to be, you get angry with ao'nung for being so calm while you feel nothing but guilty for leaving your injured sister alone. as things with your family slowly begin to mend, you realize that ao'nung probably hates you again for snapping at him. only when yours and kiri's birthday rolls around do you get a chance to work out your highly complex relationship with the metkayina boy, but it's not exactly the solution you were expecting.

includes: enemies to lovers, teasing, swearing, suggestiveness, mentions of seizure/death, ao'nung being so bf🥵

word count: 5.7k

a/n: so this is the final part! if people are into the idea i was thinking of doing a lil' bonus part based on the not-memory from part 5 (where ao'nung visits the forest)🤔 but anyway, i just wanted to say thank you so much to everyone who has read and interacted with this series, i seriously cannot believe how kind everyone is🫶 i am definitely going to keep writing other fics (and might even branch out to do some other characters, who knows🤭)

this is a bit lengthy because i was trying to wrap up a bunch of loose ends. i realized when proofreading that ao'nung kind of doesn't even show up for a good portion of the middle part??? so sorry about that🫣 also i'm sorry but i couldn’t not put a 10 things i hate about you reference in here because it’s just the exact vibe at the end, so creds to that movie for the inspo:)

You woke before the sun did, the very beginnings of warm orange and pink light only barely peeking above the horizon. It was still mostly dark, and you felt extremely disoriented. Not only were you rarely an early riser, but you also rarely woke in the middle of the beach, which is where you currently seemed to be. Not only that, but a muscular arm was slung across your waist as well, pulling you close to the body who was attached to it.

Slowly, you turned your head and nearly screamed when your eyes met the sleeping form of your worst enemy-turned crush-turned sort of friend. Ao'nung looked at peace while asleep, something that did not come easy to him when awake. It would have been kind of nice to see if you weren't so horrified by the predicament.

"Jesus christ..." You muttered to yourself, the events of the previous night coming into focus in your mind. Trying not to breathe or move too much, you attempted to slowly shimmy out of Ao'nung's grasp. You had almost successfully freed yourself when the boy beside you suddenly snapped his eyes open, looking briefly confused before his own look of horror settled in. You practically jumped away from each other.

"We fell asleep." Ao'nung said dumbly.

"Great observation, genius." You snapped, pushing yourself up from the sand while you hurriedly brushed it off your skin. "If you ever breathe a word of this to anyone, I will personally cut off your-"

"Woah! Relax, princess. Wasn't planning on it." Ao'nung held his hands up in surrender, standing as well. You stiffened at the ridiculous nickname, but decided not to get into it as you turned quickly on your heel and began jogging away from the beach. You had way more pressing things to think about now. In fact, you were growing increasingly more angry with yourself as the seconds ticked by. Were you really so delirious from fear that you let such a thing happen? Kiri needed you.. but you were selfishly allowing yourself to be consoled in the arms of a boy instead.

Ao'nung caught up to you easily, though he maintained a decent distance as he spoke. "About last night-"

"Don't." You ordered, annoyed that he wanted to talk about it and embarrassed that it even happened. "That was a mistake." You trained your eyes ahead, hoping he would take the hint and leave you alone.

"Look, forest girl, I know you're probably embarrassed because-"

You cut him off once again, finally just stopping in your tracks as you whipped around to face him. "Just stop with this stupid little flirting thing right now, okay? You don't know what I'm feeling. My twin sister almost died last night and I just left her alone when nobody knows what the hell is wrong with her! She needs me there at her side and what was I doing instead? Joking around and laughing with the guy I'm supposed to hate and then waking up beside him in the middle of the goddamn beach instead of next to her!" You spat, all of your fury and guilt spewing out along with your words. Ao'nung was frozen in place, eyes wide. "Just go away." You finished forcefully, making him flinch slightly. You didn't wait to hear a response before taking off once again toward your marui.

When you finally arrived, Neteyam, Lo'ak, and Tuk were all standing around outside the marui, looking as if they hadn't slept. A fresh wave of guilt washed over you at the thought.

"[Y/N]!" Tuk called when she noticed your approaching form, racing up to cling onto your side in a sort of hug. "Where were you?" She questioned, and Neteyam and Lo'ak nodded, waiting to hear your response. Blood rushed to your cheeks, your face growing warm in shame.

"I fell asleep on the beach." You mumbled. Not technically a lie.

"We were worried..." Neteyam said, placing a hand on your shoulder as he looked into your eyes. You could tell that he suspected you were holding back the truth. Your throat burned as you swallowed thickly.

"Sorry. I'm sorry," You breathed, ducking your head down.

"It's okay. I know it was difficult for you last night." Neteyam’s lips twisted into a sad smile, pulling you into a gentle hug. Tuk was quick to join, squeezing herself in between the two of you as she put her arms around your waists. Even Lo'ak came over, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder and offering you a look of silent understanding. You breathed in deeply, grateful for their support and easy forgiveness.

"How is she?" You finally asked, pulling away so you could peek around Lo'ak into the marui. Neteyam sighed, guiding you over to the entrance.

"She is still asleep. Ronal had to go rest before she will be able to do anything for her." You noticed your parents sitting together inside, but you focused your attention on assessing your sleeping sister, in search of any visible injuries that may have appeared since you saw her last. Thankfully, she truly did seem physically unharmed. However, it pained you to see her eyes closed and her body so still, the only sign of life coming from the occasional rise and fall of her chest. You kneeled next to her, taking her hand.

"Wake up," You whispered. "Please."

"Where did you go?" You heard your father question from his spot on the floor. You looked up slowly, your guilt creeping back. You just stared at him and your mother for a moment, trying to work out what to say.

"It does not matter, my Jake." Your mother had caught the look in your eyes, nodding in a sort of silent understanding. "She is here now."

Jake glanced between the two of you briefly before deciding to drop it. You breathed a silent sigh of relief.

"I called Norm and Max." Jake said. "They should be here in an hour or so. They may be able to tell us what happened" You nodded in approval, returning your gaze to your twin. It wasn’t ideal to have your family’s old friends risk the journey down here, but if it meant even a chance of helping Kiri then you knew it was more than worth it. You only wished they would get there faster.

The helicopter landing had gathered quite a crowd, all looking nervous at the prospect of "demons" arriving on the island. That was fair, but to you it was a welcome relief to see Norm and Max approaching alongside your father, their equipment in tow. You had promised not to leave Kiri's side, though, so you watched from through the door as they quickly scrambled over.

"[Y/N]!" Norm called when he noticed you, your lips twisting into a small smile. It may have been terrible circumstances, but it was still good to see your old friends.

"Hey, Norm. Max" You nodded in greeting and they both pulled you in for a short hug before starting to set things up. They wasted no time in placing sensors along Kiri's face and head, asking your family anything and everything you knew about what had happened.

Once everything was in place, they started running diagnostics and doing everything they could to get an idea of what was going on inside Kiri's head. It was a slow process, however, and ten minutes seemed to turn into an hour, then an hour into two. Still, you sat as close as you could without interfering, dividing your mind between trying to understand what Norm and Max were saying about your sister and just simply willing something to work so that Kiri would open her eyes.

"There's no bleed. There's no fracture. No effects of hypoxia. The brain looks good." Max said, shaking his head in confusion as he glanced through the scans they had taken.

"But we still have this interictal activity here in the prefrontal." Norm pointed out.

"Yes, she's definitely had a seizure." Max nodded, and you wondered how he could be so calm. You felt nauseous at the thought. As they continued their discussion, someone entered the marui behind you, and you turned to find Ronal looking outraged at the setup.

"I see that I am not needed here." Your heart dropped as she spoke, but you stood quickly, panicked as she turned to leave. You were about to say something when your mother grabbed Ronal's arm.

"You are Tshaik!" She hissed, sounding both angry and pleading. Clearly Norm and Max were running out of things to try, and Ronal was turning into your only hope. You caught her eyes, silently begging her to stay.

"Remove these things." She finally said, glaring down at Max and Norm.

"Out!" Neytiri growled. "You have done nothing!" She began picking things up and attempting to shoo the men outside.

"Come on, let's just take a break." Jake said quickly, ducking out the door.

"Okay, hold on! I have to take her IV out!" Norm said, rushing to get everything off of Kiri. You patted his arm in thanks as he made his way outside as well. Ronal was quick in getting her materials ready, beginning the process of a ritual you had never witnessed before. The air was tense as she worked, chanting and calling upon Eywa for aid. It was mesmerizing to watch her, though your focus remained primarily on your sister's face, waiting with baited breath for any sign of consciousness.

Finally, after what felt like years, Kiri's eyes fluttered. Your heart nearly burst out of your chest, leaning forward to grasp her hand.

"You're awake!" You breathed happily, using your free hand to gently caress her forehead, brushing some hair out of the way. Her gaze briefly flickered around the room before she began to cry, causing your heart to clench. Tears welled in your own eyes, and you fought against them, not wanting anything to blur your vision even for a moment.

"Are you ever going to let me out of sight?" Kiri questioned playfully, quirking an eyebrow in your direction. You smiled, shaking your head.

"Nope." The answer was a no-brainer. You quite literally hadn't spent a second away from your twin since she had woken up the previous day. While the rest of your family had fallen back into a semi-normal routine, you were intent upon staying with Kiri all day in the marui, even when she insisted she was feeling just fine.

"I'm not a baby, [Y/N]."

"I didn't say you were."

"Okay, but I'm not fragile either. We can't just stay holed up in here for the rest of our lives." She shot you a pointed look, growing serious.

"I know that," You sighed. "But what if I'm not there if something happens again?" The thought made your blood run cold. "I've already got enough guilt to last the rest of my life." You finished quietly, fidgeting with your fingers. Kiri's eyebrows furrowed.

"Guilt? [Y/N], what happened to me wasn't your fault. I know you think you're responsible for me, but there was nothing you could have done." She placed a hand on your arm and you looked up, meeting her eyes. "Besides, you've been hovering over me this whole time, I can guarantee that you're the world's most devoted sister." She chuckled, though you only felt worse at this, cringing a little. You had been holding in your shame for nearly two days now, and it finally came bursting to the surface in the form of a messy confession.

"I wasn't with you that night, Ki." You bit your lip before continuing. "I mean, I was, but then I started freaking out at everyone because nobody could figure out what was wrong. I only wanted to step out for a little while, just to calm down, you know?" Kiri was listening calmly, hand still resting reassuringly on your arm. "And Ao'nung was out there too, and I was crying and being hysterical and he was actually being nice for once and-"

"Oh my Eywa, he was being nice?!" Kiri's hand shot up to cover her mouth, gasping dramatically. You had to pause to process the fact that she wasn't being serious.

"Very funny, skxawng." You deadpanned. "This is serious!"

"Okay, okay, sorry!" She chuckled. "Please, continue."

"Well.. Actually that's pretty much it. Being around him was like this escape from reality, and I didn't want to go back home because I knew that meant having to think about what would happen if you- If you didn't make it or something." You swallowed thickly.

"Okay... so that's all? The moral of the story is that Ao'nung isn't as much of a douchebag as you thought?"

"No." You huffed. "The moral of the story is that I was being a selfish jerk who didn't bother to check on my sister all night because I was sleeping on the beach next to the aforementioned not-douchebag." Kiri's expression twisted into surprise briefly before she burst out laughing. The colour in your cheeks deepened.

"So I just bare my heart to you and all you can do is laugh at my stupidity?" You groaned, laying your back against the floor as you threw an arm over your eyes. However, Kiri's lighthearted reaction was making you feel a lot better. If she wasn't mad at you then maybe you didn’t have to feel so bad.

"Sorry," Kiri managed between laughs, eventually moving to lay down beside you when she gained some composure. "I just think you’re way too hard on yourself. I mean, sure, falling asleep alone with Ao'nung was a little scandalous, but you didn't really do anything wrong." She turned to her side to face you, propping up on her elbow. You did the same.

"I left you alone." You whispered, and her expression shifted into sympathy.

"You left me with our family, [Y/N]. You left because you needed help. It isn't a crime to react poorly when you're scared." The look she gave you was effective in melting the last of your guilt away, relieving some of the long-held tension in your muscles. You smiled gratefully.

"Thank you, Ki." And she smiled too, both of you taking in the quiet moment together. With Kiri, that moment didn't last too long.

"So, are you and Ao'nung exclusive now, or what?" She grinned as you rolled your eyes.

"Definitely not. Actually... I kind of snapped at him yesterday. Told him that night was a mistake and to leave me alone."

"What! Did you mean alone or alone, alone?" She questioned while you furrowed your brow in confusion.

"I guess at the time I meant alone, alone. I was really mad." You grimaced, remembering the look on Ao'nung's face after you had yelled at him.

"But you didn't mean it?"

"Well, no, I guess not." You shrugged. "But maybe it's a good thing, Ki. Everything that's ever happened between us has been so crazy and messy. It's probably for the best that we just stop trying to be... anything. Friends or otherwise." The words felt like a knife in the gut. You stared down at the ground, trying to convince yourself that you were right.

"You don't mean that." Kiri chided, her brow furrowing as she searched your eyes. "I know we always tease you, but I actually thought you really liked being around him."

I do. You thought painfully. I really do.

"It doesn't matter. He probably hates me now, for real this time." Your eyes darkened at the thought.

The arrival of your birthday was both exciting and deeply irritating. On one hand, you loved that you got to celebrate Kiri, and this time around felt extra special because of what she had just survived only days earlier. It was sort of a celebration of her recovery as well as her birthday. That being said, you hated the fact that people also insisted on celebrating you as well. It’s not that you didn’t appreciate the sentiment, but something about having everyone’s attention on you, showering you with an abundance of love and affection, was just not your thing.

So, when Tuk accidentally let it slip to you and Kiri that there was going to be a surprise party with everyone in the village invited, it was safe to say you were mortified. You had taken the entirety of the afternoon to sit in the sand by yourself and contemplate the best way to avoid the large gathering at all costs.

“You’re not getting out of this, you know.” Neteyam arrived silently from behind you, shooting you a pointed look as he sat down. “Mom and dad have this whole thing planned out. They even got Tonowari and Ronal on board.”

You groaned. “So that’s why this stupid thing is a community event?”

“Tonowari seemed strangely excited to make it into a big celebration.” Neteyam chuckled. “He kept talking about how it’s going to be so much fun to have music and dancing and a whole bunch of food and-”

“Okay, okay, I get it! Why do you insist on torturing me?” You moaned dramatically while Neteyam just laughed.

“Where was Kiri just now?” You changed the subject quickly when you noticed her returning from the village, coming from the opposite direction of your family’s marui. She had told you she was going to nap before the party.

“Oh- um- nowhere.” Neteyam was a notoriously bad liar. You raised an eyebrow, but before you could say anything, you noticed Lo’ak, Tsireya, Rotxo, and Ao’nung appear behind your sister, seemingly following her somewhere. They didn’t seem to notice where you sat, suspiciously watching them go by.

“Okay, what the hell?” You fixed your gaze back on your oldest brother, waiting for an explanation. You knew he had one because he was flushed, clearly trying not to act suspicious.

“I’m not allowed to tell you anything.” He admitted, a nervous laugh leaving his lips.

“Fine.” It took everything in you not to keep badgering him. He may not have been a good liar, but he was not one to tell other people’s secrets. “But if I find out that it has anything to do with my birthday, I’m going to kill you and Lo’ak.”

“What! But it was Kiri’s idea!” Neteyam said offendedly.

“And you and Lo’ak were stupid enough to go along with it,” You quipped. “Plus, it’s her birthday. It’s just bad manners to kill someone on their birthday.”

Neteyam laughed. “Okay, crazy. But it’s your birthday too, you know.”

“Don’t remind me.” You scowled.

“[Y/N]!” Your father called from behind you and Neteyam, squinting in the sunlight as his gaze fixed on the two of you. “Come! We need to get going soon!” He beckoned you over with a hand gesture and you sighed, allowing Neteyam to help pull you upright. You dragged your feet as you walked, hoping to prolong the inevitable.

“Neteyam, will you please get Kiri and Lo’ak?” Jake asked when you got closer, and the boy obediently dashed off in the other direction. Your fingers twitched as you thought about following.

“Don’t even think about it.” Jake laughed, throwing his arm across your shoulders as if to keep you on path with him. You rolled your eyes.

“I wasn’t thinking about anything.”

“Sure you weren’t.”

By the time everyone in your family had been rounded up, the sun had started to sink below the horizon. The darkness was anticipated, however, as a large glowing bonfire had been lit on the sand, casting a surprising amount of light all along the beach. Thankfully, the festivities had begun without any mention of you or Kiri, so you relaxed a little and tried to stay out of the middle of things. It felt more like a community get-together than a birthday party, to which you were grateful. You even started enjoying yourself a bit, eating some of the wonderful food as you soaked in the warmth of the fire and focused on the music through the chatter of the crowd.

“[Y/N]!” You heard someone call and you ripped your gaze from the fire, looking around. Tsireya stood a few feet away, smiling as she held out her hand toward you. “We’ve been looking for you! Come stand with us!” She beckoned, and you tried not to look reluctant as you followed her over to where your friends and siblings were. They had formed a sort of circle and were talking and laughing animatedly as you took a spot between Tsireya and Kiri.

Ao’nung was standing almost directly across from you while he talked with Rotxo, and it was hard to keep yourself from staring at him through the fire light. You'd seen him around the village over the past week, but neither of you had approached the other at all. He hadn’t even looked your way once in that time, which put a tiny crack in your heart. You missed the way he used to devour you with his eyes, the resulting feeling both intimidating and electrifying at the same time.

Just when you were about to look away, he abruptly turned and met your gaze. Something flickered in his eyes, and you convinced yourself you imagined it as the ghost of a smirk played at his lips. Your heart was pounding so hard you could feel it in your throat. So much for missing that feeling.

“[Y/N]?” Kiri nudged you, effectively snapping you out of it. Colour rose to your cheeks, particularly when you didn’t feel Ao’nung’s gaze leave you even as you turned toward Kiri.

“Hm?”

“I said are you having fun?” She was clearly trying to hold in a laugh. You narrowed your eyes.

“I guess this isn’t so bad.” You admitted after a few seconds of silence, glancing around the beach. As your head swivelled, you confirmed through peripheral vision that Ao’nung was still staring at you, though he was now talking casually with Lo’ak and Rotxo. You shivered slightly.

“No one’s wished me happy birthday yet, so I would call that a win.” You smiled a bit, but quickly dropped it when Kiri gave you a nervous grin.

“Don’t kill me, but I overheard dad saying that Tonowari was going to-” As if she had spoken it into existence, Tonowari suddenly called out a request for everyone to quiet down, stepping forward into the middle of the beach, glowing in the firelight.

“My people!” He grinned, spreading his hands wide in greeting. “I am glad to see everyone enjoying tonight’s festivities. While we need no reason to come together and celebrate, I do want to speak on what the celebration tonight is in honour of.” Your heart dropped out of your chest and flopped around pitifully on the sand. Tonowari turned to where you and Kiri stood, grinning widely as he beckoned for the two of you to stand by him. Kiri grabbed your hand, squeezing it lightly. While she smiled and accepted the spotlight gracefully, you imagined your expression resembled dread mixed with painful awkwardness. It was all you could do not to visibly cringe at the hundreds of eyes trained on you. However, only one pair really seemed to pierce directly into you, the intensity of it reminding you of the day you had first arrived here. Just like that day, he appeared to be seeing something about you that no one else was allowed to. It offered you a strange sort of steadiness.

“First, I would like to thank Eywa for the recovery of this young woman!” Tonowari placed a gentle hand on your sister’s shoulder. “We celebrate her health tonight.” You managed a small smile as everyone cheered, sharing a look with Kiri. You gripped her hand a little bit tighter. “And, of course, we thank Eywa for bringing the Sully family here to us. It is hard to accept change, but this has been a welcome one indeed. Join me in celebrating [Y/N] and Kiri on this wonderful day in which they were born!” You could hardly hear the cheers of the crowd as your cheeks burned and your heart pounded in your ears. As grateful as you felt, you didn’t think you could handle the attention much longer. Thankfully, Kiri nodded at Tonowari in thanks and lead you back to your friend group. Your brothers were cackling, practically beside themselves with laughter.

“Y-your face! Oh Eywa that was priceless!” Lo’ak howled. You glared, sticking out your tongue.

“Shut it, dickhead. Just because I don’t enjoy being stared at-” You didn’t get to finish as your brothers loudly cracked up again, holding their stomachs. Even Kiri, Tsireya, and Rotxo couldn’t contain themselves as they joined in. You grinned, shaking your head. “You guys are terrible. I’m going to find Tuk.” You spun on your heel, still laughing to yourself.

You skirted along the outside of the crowd, scanning for your youngest sister, when a hand suddenly grasped your arm, tugging you into the shadows of the trees, out of sight.

“What the hell are you-” You paused upon seeing who was holding onto you. “Oh. It’s you.”

“Don’t sound so disappointed, forest girl.” His eyes danced with a playfulness that you had missed, causing a skip in your heartbeat.

“Ao’nung I-” You were gearing up to apologize. You hadn’t planned on doing so, but you found it impossible not to as you stood across from him.

“Shh. Just follow me.” He turned, sliding his hold on your wrist down to lace his fingers with yours. You stiffened, eyes wide as you stared down at your interlocked hands. “Come on, freak!” He smirked, ignoring your confusion as he impatiently tugged you along. It didn’t take long for you to arrive at one of the little alcoves off the side of the island, just far enough away that you could no longer see the party on the beach and could only faintly hear it in the background over the soft lapping of the waves. You had been in this area plenty of times before, but you had never seen it at night. It was breathtakingly beautiful.

The alcove was cave-like in a way, with large slabs of rock surrounding you and tucking the two of you mostly out of sight. There was little of the glowing vegetation that typically lit up the night on the island, but it didn’t matter because what looked like thousands of tiny glowing stars were embedded in the rock around you, effectively giving the illusion of standing directly next to the sky. You gawked, unable to tear your eyes away from such a magnificent sight.

“I heard you saying that you don’t like people staring.” Ao’nung broke the silence, chuckling a little at your awe. “I figured there’s no one to do that here,” He paused, smirking. “Except me.”

You flushed, remembering the delicate way he was still gripping your hand.

“I though you hated me again.” You said quietly.

“I do hate you.” Your heart dropped at his words, but for some reason he stepped closer, his eyes fixed intently on your face.

“I hate you because of your stupid smile that makes my hands all sweaty. I hate you because you’re the only one who puts up a fight when I tease you. I hate you because you actually drive me insane sometimes, and I hate you because I never know if you want to kiss me or kill me.” He grinned. “But mostly I hate that I don’t hate you. Not even a little bit.”

This felt like a fever dream. You held your breath as if you were going to wake up any second. But you remained where you were, frozen in uncertainty. It seemed the worst time to tease him, so of course, that’s what you did.

“I think you’re drooling.” You whispered, still not entirely sure how to move or think properly in the wake of his confession. He only huffed, ducking down close to your ear in one fluid motion. His warm breath fanned across your throat as he spoke.

“This is what I’m talking about, skxawng. Your inability to be nice,” You hadn’t realized he’d been slowly inching the two of you toward the wall of stone until he gently pressed you into it, one hand moving to grip your waist while the other flattened against the wall next to your head, the only thing holding him up over you. “It's driving me crazy.” The air felt like it had been sucked entirely out of the space between you, both of your chests rising and falling quickly. Despite the way his touch set you on fire, you had goosebumps from the proximity. Everything around you was charged with tension as Ao’nung finally tipped his head back away from your ear, staring at you so hard his pupils were dilated.

“Don’t you want me to apologize for yelling at you the other day?” Your voice came out small, though you’d gained a little confidence. All the time you'd spent convincing yourself that Ao’nung didn’t like you the way liked him was clearly wasted. His ears bent slightly as he smirked.

“Not with words.”

Oh.

“Oh?” You quirked an eyebrow, your breath hitching as Ao’nung pressed closer yet, almost every possible inch of you touching except for your heads, mere millimetres apart. The tension was so delicious that you almost didn’t want to break it.

You broke it anyway, closing the gap between you as you pressed your mouth to his, nearly gasping at the contact. It’s a good thing he’s holding me up, you thought fleetingly, your knees nearly giving out. Your lips fit together perfectly, moving in sync as he looped both arms around you, cinching you to him like he wished for you to meld together. Your hands roamed his chest, eventually making their way up to his neck, feeling the soft baby hairs there and making him groan into the kiss. You smiled.

“Happy birthday, [Y/N].” He whispered against your lips, smirking slightly. Your knees felt weak again. Just when he began pressing open-mouthed kisses along your jaw, something made you both freeze.

“Ewwwwwwww!” Someone who sounded suspiciously like Tuk squealed, followed by a fake retching noise that you often heard Lo’ak make. You whipped your head around, searching through the darkness outside of the alcove, Ao’nung’s grip on you relaxing a bit but not letting go.

“Just get out of these stupid bushes, guys. They know we’re here.” Neteyam grumbled, and finally everyone came into view from the greenery they had been hiding in. You gaped. Neteyam, Tuk, Kiri, Rotxo, Tsireya, and Lo’ak were all there.

“Oh my Eywa, tell me you did not just see all of that!” You gasped, fighting the urge to rip out of Ao’nung’s grasp. In response, Lo’ak grinned before putting on a stupid face.

“Oh, [Y/N]. I hate that I don’t hate you! Oh, Ao’nung, don’t you want me to apologize?” His imitation of your voices was horrendous. “Not with words… mwah mwah mwah…” Lo’ak had wrapped his arms around himself and turned around, crudely imitating a kiss. Tsireya smacked him on the shoulder, giving him a look, though her and the others were holding back laughter.

“Why the hell did you follow us here?” You questioned angrily before remembering the earlier events of the day. You snapped your head toward Neteyam.

“Is this what they were planning earlier?!” You raged, about to stomp over to him to give him a piece of your mind. Ao’nung pulled you back.

“Yes. Your sister explained to me how you were feeling and said she wanted to help me make peace with you. We all came up with the idea to take you here to talk and get away from all of your birthday stuff.” He paused, assessing your still fuming expression. “But I swear I didn’t know they were going to come spy on us!” He hissed, glaring at everyone.

“It’s not our fault you two decided to start sucking face!” Lo’ak cried.

“We just wanted to see if you guys would apologize and be friends again.” Kiri piped up, and you knew she was telling the truth. You softened.

“Well, I guess it worked.” You shook your head, smiling in spite of yourself. Beside you, Ao’nung smiled too, a real, genuine smile. Lo’ak made another gagging noise.

“Literally kill me. You guys are disgusting. Can’t you just go back to being frenemies or something?”

“Lo’ak, if you keep being a moron then I’m going to have to tell mom and dad about what you and Tsireya get up to when-”

“Okay, okay! Geez! Why does everyone have to know my business, damn!”

Everyone laughed and began turning toward the party, slowly making their way back. You and Ao’nung trailed behind, his arm slung around your waist as you walked.

“So how does it feel to be with the most attractive guy in the world?” He smirked cockily. You just scoffed.

“I wouldn’t know.” You earned a playful shove from him, laughing.

“You’re actually the worst.” Ao’nung grinned, shaking his head.

“I know you are, but what am I?”

“An annoying little brat, then.”

You gasped, faking offence. “Rude!”

“That’s what you love about me.”

You pretend to think for a moment. “Mm, nope. Don’t think so.” You concluded, laughing loudly as Ao’nung growled playfully, stopping both of you in your tracks. He turned toward you, capturing your face entirely in his large hands.

“Take it back.”

“No thanks.” You grinned arrogantly.

“C’mon, love. Just admit that you can’t get enough of me.” You shivered at the nickname, and he smirked. That stupid little smirk. It had gotten you into a whole world of trouble. But maybe it was worth it?

He leaned in, pressing a quick, but heated kiss to your lips.

Yes, definitely worth it.

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[tossawary]

I'm letting the 1984 "Dune" film play in the background and there's a LOT to say about this beautifully campy ridiculousness, but the part that's really getting me is the "inner voices". The audience at times hears the internal thoughts of various characters, presumably taken largely from the book, in a whispery voice. And it's not even just from Paul! It's from his mother and father and other characters as well, each making various observations and sometimes delivering exposition via their thoughts shared in voiceover narration.

Character A: "Greetings, Character B."

Character B: "A pleasure, Character A."

Character A: (inner voice) "That special outfit indicates that this person is secretly working for our enemies."

I made this exchange up, but that's the vibe here and it's wild. It's shockingly frequent too! Directly sharing character thoughts like this is something I'm used to seeing only in older novels, comics, and anime, due to the strengths and limits of their mediums. Like, the last thing that I was watching with any "tell, don't show" device similar to this was probably "Jojo's Bizarre Adventure"! It's striking (not a compliment) when other live action film (including the most recent "Dune" films) tends to prefer using actors' expressions and body language to communicate certain "unspoken" ideas like suspicion or affection or awe, and to let other sweeping visuals and musical cues speak for themselves as well.

You can also just have the lights go out, zoom in on a character's face, and have them whisper aloud, "Sabotage!" if you need to be that blunt about it, rather than have us hear the character's thoughts directly. You can insert a conversation of "as you know" technobabble between characters if you really have to do hasty exposition.

I don't want to call this film style "bad" exactly, inherently. But it's more than a little confusing when some characters are a little telepathic(?) and lighting is dim, so I'm briefly unsure which characters actually heard certain lines.

And I do personally think this kind of heavy-handed bluntness generally undermines what can be achieved with acting, sound design, music, set design, prop design, costume design, and so on. And I also think that a degree of uncertainty for the audience can be good for tension anyway. These inner thoughts being shared in this film are generally not ideas that couldn't be communicated through acting, visuals, or direct dialogue between characters, so this choice by the film often feels redundant and clumsy to me. Let the actors do what they're good at! Good actors can often communicate their emotions and thoughts to us without words! Or they can at least stand there while a majestic musical score communicates to us the depths of the character's grief and determination.

Like, not every use of voiceover narration in film is a bad thing. It's a choice. Sometimes it works really well and sometimes it doesn't. Voiceover narration often gets used at the beginning of films because it's an efficient way to quickly convey a lot of exposition and set the tone of the story!

But this film seems like it has a bad case of "science fiction is obviously too confusing for movie audiences to follow just by watching the characters move through the world and interact with each other, so we had better hold their hand every step of the way via voiceover narration constantly overshadowing the acting and musical score". It's not really helping the story, in my opinion. It's not letting the film breathe. Though "showing" in storytelling is often preferable, "telling" in a story is not always bad, but damn, this is a LOT of "telling" for an audio-visual medium.

[patpranishome]

Like I said in the previous post, I had spent the entire night binge-watching The Spirealm and by the time I finished it, I could not delay my sleep anymore because I had to go to work the next day. So, I didn’t have time to write my thoughts coherently about this series except for a few snippets of posts here and there. Therefore, I want to use this opportunity to convey my feelings about the show and my thoughts on it. 

First, and foremost, I want to thank every single person that recommended the show. Every single one of you. If not for you hyping the show so much, I would not even touch the show. How horrible is that? Being deprived of a masterpiece which sat in front of you because you refused even to acknowledge its existence.

Second, OH MY GOD THE SHOW IS SO FREAKING GOOD!!! Going into the show, I was not exactly putting much hope into the plot and was just here for the bromance. But, the plot is so good. It had been a while for me to put my whole focus on a show and truly digest the plot of it.  I have never read the book and probably will never read it, but, based on my experience with Chinese bromance shows, sometimes when the setting of the show needs to be changed to adhere to the censorship rules, the plot of the show becomes way too convoluted to the point of incoherence and sometimes downright ridiculous (Guardian, I love you but, you are the worst offender of this). However, this show managed to change the fundamental setting of the story which is supernatural happenings to VR Game almost flawlessly. They set their own rules and managed to stick to them which gave the viewers the ability to understand and follow along while still maintaining the bigger parts of the show. At one point I felt my reason for watching the show changed. If before the romance is the main dish and the plot is salad, now, the plot is the full meal and the romance is the sweet bonus dessert you get free of charge. 

Next, also related to the plot, is how the show team managed to make the show feel alive and lived in. They make every single speaking character in the show feel like a human. Sure, some of them are downright despicable ( looking at you, Yan Shihe, may you rot in hell) but, they still feel human, even the non-human also felt human. Which leads to the woman in this series.

Quoting the wise word of Le Sserafim, “All the girls are girling girling, all the girls are girling girling, all the girly girls.” I. Love. Every. Single. One. Of. Them. The only time I cried in this show apart from Ruan Nanzhu scenes is Tan Zaozao’s death. From the first time she appeared in the show, I was already half in love with her. Sure, she might not be the brightest in the head but, she is so lovable that I understand how even Ruan Nanzhu is willing to break his principle to save her. I had to stop watching the show for a moment when her video ended because I was just plain sobbing (And I have to stop talking about her right now because man, do I have so many things to say about her). And she is only one example of a female character that I like in the show. Yeah, you read that right, one of the many female characters which was kind of a luxury in this type of show. And many of them are likeable and have so much depth even though they are just NPC. This show even makes me like Zuozi/Sako, the girl that scared the shit out of me every time she appeared on the screen (That moment when the three lady ghosts just chilling and vibing with each other at the final episode is one of the highlights of the show for me).

The set design in the show is *Chef’s kiss*. I was so used to weird CGI sets that the practical set in this show is such a fresh breath to me. Every single door has a distinctive vibe that is very different from one other. The combination of amazing set design, good lighting and clever camera angle really help you to be immersed in the story told in each door. The overall vibe of the show is really something that I cannot quite express in words because it was very specific, but, if I do have to try, the show gave me the dark sky after rain kind of vibe. Like, you know, the rain has stopped but, the sky is still dark, promising more rain to come. That kind of a vibe but, not quite. I am truly vibing the vibe because the show, at least for me, is always carrying this melancholic vibe even during its funny moments.

Lastly, Ruan Nanzhu and Lin Qiushi. Man, it has been a while since a pairing hit me hard like this. The last time this happened was my namesake, and they still reign supreme. But, RNZ and LQS brought with them this understanding and acceptance that was so intimate and private. There was no doubt that they loved each other. I mean, LQS spent fifty years of his life just to recreate the world where RNZ existed so they could be together. RNZ bet his life away if it meant LQS could live happily and safely. The actors brought this character to life so well that they understood the assignment clearly and made sure the sub in the subtext was silent. Bro, Xia Zhi Guang’s Nanzhu is so magnetic, charismatic, and intense that every time he is on the screen, he just takes my breath away. Huang JunJie, for me at first, was just okay but, slowly he grew on me with this casual way he acted like he was Lin Qiu Shi. He did small things, but those small things shaped the character well. The scene where he was trying to break down the door to save Ruan Nanzhu. Phe👏No👏Me👏Nal👏. And his smile is so cute. Anytime these two were in the same room alone, it felt hard to breathe even though they were doing nothing, just looking at each other. Their love for each other was never uttered, but it was never silent. 

And because of that, I would probably never read the book, well, at least for now. Even before the show, horror genre books had never been my favourite. So, the interest in reading the book before the show is already all-time low. I was satisfied with how the show ended and I wanted to preserve that feeling as long as I could. This is because I knew that I would start comparing the book and the show, and then, I would be left with what if which would affect my feelings for the show. I also love the portrayal of Ruan Nanzhu and Lin Qiushi in the show, and I am aware that there is a difference between the characters in the show and the book. As of now, I just do not have the capability to separate the book and the show as two different stories which was, for me, probably the best way to enjoy both of the two worlds. 

I have no idea if it was recency bias or what, but, I would put it at the top of my favourite BL series of all time. I may get hate for this but, I truly would put it even above The Untamed, a series that endeared me greatly. The Spirealm left me with this lingering feeling that I cannot understand and the urge to rewatch it again. I am not even a rewatch person. I am sorry for this long ass post. I thought I would be able to express my thoughts clearly after a bit of time, alas, I am still greatly affected by the show to the extent I just felt the need to shout out this feeling into the world.