#which is even more of a shame because earlier in the game in the first glasya labolas fight

[woodflink]

honestly probably the thing i'm most disappointed with in smtvv is that they didn't rerecord fionn's voicelines so that he pronounces his own name correctly. even though they got his VA back to record new lines

[toothfa-1-ry]

YOU STILL LIKE IT THOUGH

GENRE: Fluff, crack fic ish?

PAIRING: Choi su-bong/thanos x preg!fem!reader

FEAT: Nam gyu as the supportive bestie (that he never rlly was)

A/N: this fic i based of a request from anon !! Tbh i changed ALOT of the request (haha- sorry 😞) because I felt like it was a little repetitive and idk i just can't write rlly emotional scenes with Thanos for some reason (??) ALSO I feel like there are parts where Thanos seems ooc? Idk.. i wrote this instead of studying in the span of 30 mins

"Whoo!" You hear Thanos shout on the top of his voice while he high fives nam gyu as they both jump up and down as if they were children in elementary school after winning a play ground game

You manage your groan, suppressing it while you stare at them from afar, of course that crazy fucker managed to pass through the first game.

You hated to admit it, but a part of you was relieved,

You always had a thing for psycho guys, and your ex boyfriend? The one with the brightly dyed hair who was now doing some weird dance seemed to proudly embody every part of that sentiment.

You carefully watch from afar, not wanting to catch his eyes, your hand unknowingly lay over your stomach while you move uncomfortably in the bunk bed

Fuck, your feeling dizzy all over again

You hear a thud against your bed post, you look up slowly, your eyes slightly squinting to see the purple haired boy with a usual frown on his face

"Hey" his eyebrows raise "are you okay"

"I thought I told you to get lost earlier"

Your mood swings weren't really helping either

"Geez woman" thanos tchs but sits beside you in your bed anyways "im just trying to help" grumbling under his breath but the cautious expression in his face saied otherwise

"I came here to brag about how amazing i usually am but seeing you like this is just killing the vibe yknow"

he makes a hand gesture in the air, leaning face closer in an attempt to make you smile which does not go wasted as the smile you tried to supress escaped your face

"Fuck off you loser" your still kneeling, your hands over your knees and your face hiding behind your knees but he hears the smile in your voice anyways.

He wouldn't want to admit it, but he was relieved

He always had a thing for girls with pretty voices and you? The girl right next to him had to have one of the prettiest voices he had ever heard. Ofcourse who would better know than a rapper like himself?

"I thought I told you to stick close to me, instead you leech to that crazy old man" thanos says as he points towards gi hun who sat far away in the opposite side

You immediately slap his hand, causing him to wince while retracing it back, rubbing it softly

"How many times will I tell you! You shouldn't point your hands at strangers especially to people who are older" you scold him rather loudly causing him to wince even more

"Agh" thanos ruffles his neon hair while complaining "why don't you shout louder so that everyone will hear and laugh at me?"

You resist the urge to roll your eyes upon his childish manners, he really didn't change

Thanos suddenly bangs the top of the bunk with a loud sound, taking you by shock

"Oi" his voice loud and almost threatening "nam gyu" calling out the man above the bed

Immediately your taken by shock once more when a man's head pops upside down, with black oily hair falling all over his face from above the bed

"Yes Thanos?" Nam gyu quickly inquired while sparing you a quick glance which didn't go unnoticed by the scowling man next to you

"Did you hear her telling me off?" He points at nam gyu before quickly adding "careful, there's only one correct answer"

Nam gyu pauses and thinks which seems to be the wrong thing to do as it just annoys Thanos

"Whats wrong with you, tell me quickly!"

"N-no! Not at all! Infact nobody heard anything!" Nam gyu quickly says, obviously lying but this seemed to please Thanos who now held a haughty face

Wow, this is was supposedly the father of your unborn child. Shame you and your taste in weird guys

Before Thanos could open his mouth to say something, a group of pink guards enter the room with large containers

Straight away you freeze up, shrinking behind the bed while your heart hammered, fear spread across your face

Noticing your expression on your face, instinctively Thanos covers you with his back, shielding you with his arms which covered your sides while his expression, though you could not see was filled with wariness

The pink guards open the large containers they were carrying as everyone watched quietly, scared as they were unsure of what to expect, you included

The pink guard with the white circle lifts up a piece of bread and milk "lunch time" announcing in the same robotic voice like all the other guards

A sigh of relief escapes your mouth as your shoulders relax, unlike you Thanos still shields you, covering your face with his back

You hit him with a thud on the back of his head

"What the hell man" thanos turns around, his eyes glaring at you

"Stop trying to act like a hero you shameless prick" you frown even though his actions did leave you with a warm feeling in your heart

"Your acting so protective after all the stunt you pulled before we broke up" you continue "seeing you act all so protective is just pissing me off even more"

Thanos throws his head back, groaning "give me a break woman. You know I was going through a hard time"

"Bullshit" your fold your arms, as if it was act to protect yourself, and the unborn baby in your stomach.

The poor thing was only 2 months old

The both of you hear nam gyu cough from above the bed, forgetting that he was there in the first place

Again Thanos bangs the top of the bunk, causing you to give him a look

"Stop doing that" you scold him

"doing what?" Thanos raises his eyebrow before banging the top of the bunk again while sticking his tongue at you

Nam gyu pops back down again, upside down, the sight would have been hilarious only if you weren't experiencing the pain in your stomach and the sight of the man sitting beside you

"Go get lunch for me and my girl" thanos tilts his head towards you while avoiding your eyecontact while you tell yourself not to think about the fact that he still referred to you as 'his girl'

"go fast what are you still doing here" thanks reprimanded nam gyu

Nam gyu awkwardly stood unsure of what to say "but it's just one bread and one milk per person"

"Then give her yours" thanos said simply "and go steal someone's lunch for me"

"Then what about for me?" Nam gyu asked dumbfounded which caused Thanos to pause and think for a while

"That's not my fucking problem man- now go" he pushes him away, leaving you with a heavy sigh

"I don't want to eat"

"Don't talk bullshit" thanos eyes you "you think i'm gonna let you starve? I never did, and i wont be starting now"

Again with the whole protective boyfriend act, fuck, why did it make your heart race a little?

"Your still such an asshole, you didnt change a bit" you huffed as you leaned behind, resting your back against the wall

"Well you changed" thanos says which quirks your curiosity

"How so?'

"I don't know" he shrugs "something is different. Something happened, i can't exactly ppint my fi ger at it though"

Your eyes dart away from his while your breathing started to fasten slightly

"Oh yea? How so?" You ask, your voice slightly higher than it was which Thanos picks up immediately

"Ohoho" he grins "did I get it right? Did you get something done?" He glances you up and down which leads you to hitting him

"Ow- i was just joking, you still take everything so seriously" he grumbled holding your hand from hitting him "I wish that part had changed'

Your other hand comes swinging which he again grabs softly

"jokingg" he says in a sing song voice before letting both your arms go leaving you with a scowl and him with a satisfied smirk in his face

"Asshole" you mutter which stretches his smirk even more

"You still like it though"

You almost swear you heard a hint of vulnerability in his tone, prompting you to glance at him quickly just to catch him already looking at you

"So? Aren't you gonna ask me what has changed?" You ask slowly, in your head trying to process whether your doing the right thing or not,

You first found out you were pregnant with your baby right after you and Thanos broke up.

The following days, whenever you went to pay him a visit, he was always missing, causing you to believe maybe it was better for him not to know. And then you suddenly meet him for the first time after your breakup during the squid games

The timing was almost comical

"Why?" Thanos continued still with an amused face "you still seem the same on the inside"

Your hand immediately goes to your stomach, slowly tracing along it from above the green track jacket which everyone wore

"Don't tell me your sick or something" thanos asks with his voice slightly raised as he notices your action "fuck are you?"

His eyes slightly widens as he frowns "hey" he snaps his finger upon your zoning out "are you sick?"

"Hm?" You ask confused

"What the fuck" he swears under his breath with a anxious expression on his face while his hand runs through his finger "is that why your here? To win some money for your treatment?"

"Su Bong its not like that-" All your attempts of correcting him seemed to be futile as he sweared loudly, getting out of the bed

"Shit shit shit!" He grabs his head while he paced around the floor, a sight you had seen a few times over the span of your relationship

"ofcourse that's why your here, you would only be here for a sensible reason"

"Oh, su bong" you attempt to appeal to him, reaching your hand out, pulling his closer towards you while he hands were still over his head, eyes lowered

"Fuck baby I'm so sorry" he breathed out "shit i never should have left, i thought" he paused "I thought I'd win some money and get you back, give you the life you really deserve but"

You watch his dazed expression while he rambled, you bit you underlip, hesitant of whether to tell him the truth still

"Fuck, i didn't even know that, i didn't even know you were sick-"

Before he could continue again you grab his face , forcing him to look at your face

"I'm not sick, that's not why im here"

Thanos breathed heavily, everything felt so real suddenly, he felt his cross necklace strapped around his neck, his fingers itching to pop a pill in his mouth to sooth his nerves

"I'm not sick" you shake your head as you lean your forehead against his "su-bong"

You can still feel his strained breaths and darting eyes

"I'm pregnant"

And it all stopped,

You held your breath, afraid of what would happen if you let go, your could heart your heartbeat from your ears, feel the realisation setting inside thanos,

You were scared. Scared of how he would react

He breaks away first, slowly and gently. Staring at you with no expression in his face,

"And it's yours" you rapidly feel the need to add, taken back by his silence which didn't not suit him "and i know having a kid was never in your plan, and i know things are over between us but-"

Your body is wrapped by his arms and his face nestles in your neck, pulling your deeper in his embrace

"Holy shit" thanos whispers in your ear, you can hear the giddiness radiating off his voice "im a dad"

"Yea you are" you laugh a little as you say "your a dad"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I never got the chance to"

Thanos furrows his eyebrows but doesn't press any more "will you let me be our baby's dad?" He ask

"You know I grew up without a dad, this kid doesn't deserve that" he pokes your stomach with a soft grin which looked slightly odd against his eccentric features "I wanna be in this kids life"

You nodd softly, hearing his words

"And yours too" thanos looks up to you, grinning while he winked at you "senorita"

"You corny bastard" you laugh shaking your head

"You still like it though"

You nodd your head, with tenderness in your eyes and voice

"I do"

₊˚｡⋆❆⋆｡˚₊ extra scene pack !!

"Thanos!" Nam gyu came running with 3 pieces of sweet bread and 3 packets of milk "I got it! Do you know how much trouble i went to get all these-"

"Give it here " thanos grabbed all the bread and milk away "why did you take so long anyways"

Nam gyu held his hands as he pouted "I mean- i had to fight like 2 guys for bread and milk for us-"

Thanos brushed him off as he opened all the packets of bread and poked in the straw of all the milk packets

"Uhm thanos" nam gyu apprehensively called out "What are you doing?"

Thanos hands you all the bread and urges you to eat while he holds the packets of milk in his hand, ready to feed you

Thanos gestures towards you who was sitting in the bed, now wrapped in not only your jacket but his aswell "can't you see the lady is pregnant"

Nam gyu scratched his head "pregnant? With who?"

Thanos shakes his head, exaggerating his actions "dumb ass, she's pregnant with my baby ofcourse" he announced like it was the most obvious thing in the world

"Holy shit!" Nam gyu gaped his hand covering his mouth as he stares at you while you sheepishly smile at him

Thanos let out a small laugh which then slowly grew louder

"What? Why are you surprised? Ofcourse i succeeded in my first try- fuck" he kneels down in pain after being striked by you in the stomach

Nam gyu pulls a face in behalf of Thanos as he pats his back sympathetically while he whispers to you

"Don't worry. I know it probably wasnt his first try or anything- ow" nam gyu kneels on the ground after being hit in the stomach by thanos

₊˚｡⋆❆⋆｡˚₊

"What... what are you guys doing?" You question as you approach Thanos and nam gyu who were huddled up in a corner, in a long rather quiet conversation which seemed like an unusual activity for both of them to part take in

Both in the 'discussion' and 'quiet' part

Thanos loops his arm around your with a proud smirk on his face while urging nam gyu to announce what they were discussing

Nam gyu nodds eagerly as gets up in his two feet quickly, standing straight and tall with a loud and confident voice "we have decided the perfect name for the baby !!"

You see thanos's broad smile and nam gyu's confident voice, uneasiness settling in your stomach for whatever name they picked out

"These is the name that Thanos and i have personally given a lot of thought for and chosen after much contemplation !!"

Thanos nodded his head with a content expression while he winked at you, assuring that you'll like it

"Ahem" nam gyu clears his throat "before I announce the name that we have chosen, i would like to give recognition to the name we almost chose aswell !!"

Thanos immediately began clapping his hand loudly "waaah, I never knew you could speak so well "

This comment made nam gyu's chest fill swell with pride as he puffs out his chest a little

"I shall now, announce the first runners up, the name that almost was given to the new born baby"

nam gyu pauses which prompts Thanos to make the sound of drum rolls

"Nebula" nam gyu announces as he and thanos clap loudly.

Seeing your still figure both men urge you to claps aswell

"Nebula?" You mutter under your breath "where have i heard that name before?"

"And now, the name that has been selected over numerous selection test and discussion, the name of the baby is" nam gyu points at your stomach

"Gamora"

Thanos whoops loudly, both nam gyu and him clapping their hands in the air while you stand off handedly as it hits you

"Your naming our child after the daughter of the purple alien monster from a superhero movie?!"

[softerglow]

how to wake up earlier

sleep is a challenge for many people. after vacations or intensive projects or even a couple rounds of staying up late playing video games, we've all messed up our sleep schedules before. this is a guide on how to wake up earlier and get healthier sleep. please let me know if you'd like more posts like this. wishing love and prosperity to all <3

the night/day before:

choose a bedtime that's 9-10 hours before your wake up time. make sure you're in bed at this time. if you don't fall asleep immediately (which you won't, the first couple of times) read or journal until you feel sleepy.

turn your devices off or put them away at least 30 minutes (ideally 2 hours) before your bedtime. if you have any devices that stay on overnight, make sure they aren't within arms reach and notifications are turned off. if you're using your phone as an alarm make sure it's on the other side of your room, so that you have to walk to turn your alarm off in the morning.

make sure dinner is a light, satisfying meal. don't eat after dinner, as this can lead to acid reflux and interrupted sleep.

avoid caffeine and sugary drinks in the afternoon and evening. keep your caffeine intake under 400mg per day.

sleep with your curtains or blinds open. this will help adjust your circadian rhythm to the day/night cycle.

find a relaxing hobby you can do before bed. some ideas include crochet, knitting, reading, journaling or building puzzles. these are well known in helping with stress management and can help you unwind before you go to sleep.

create a relaxing night routine. make sure you feel clean and comfortable by the time you go to sleep.

make use of a lavender scent before you go to bed. whether it's a linen spray, incense, a candle or an oil diffuser. lavender is calming and can help you feel sleepy, especially if you learn to associate it with sleep.

in the morning:

get out of bed the second you wake up. you need to get up, turn off your alarm and stay out of bed.

make your first activity of the day one you enjoy. your skincare routine, cooking a nice breakfast, a warm shower or even sitting on the couch watching netflix is an option. there's no shame in what you choose to do first thing in the morning, even if it's not productive. if it gets you out of bed, it's the right choice.

expose yourself to sunlight as soon as possible in the morning. just 10 minutes could help your circadian rhythm adjust. if it's dark in the mornings because of the weather or the different seasons, turn your lights on.

other tips:

avoid pulling all-nighters or taking naps. staying up all night is bad for your health, full stop. lack of sleep weakens your immune system and ruins your focus during the day. taking naps regularly can impair the sleep schedule you've been working so hard to build. however, if you're really tired, a 20 minute nap is better than a cup of coffee.

make your mental health and stress management a priority. depression, anxiety and stress result in poor sleep. they can be managed with a well balanced lifestyle and professional intervention.

having a well balanced diet can improve your general health as well as your sleep. make sure you aren't skipping meals. have of each meal should be fruits and vegetables, a quarter grains (preferably wholegrain) and a quarter protein. eat as much variety as possible.

stay well hydrated. the common recommendation of 8 glasses a day is a good goal. staying hydrated can help you stay more alert during the day.

regular exercise can improve quality of sleep. exercise during the day if possible, but definitely not within 2 hours of your bedtime.

make a list of reasons why you want to wake up early. read this every night before you go to bed and first thing in the morning. make sure your reasons are important enough to motivate you.

if you're struggling to adjust to a new sleep schedule because your current sleep schedule is so far off, adjust your bed/wake times in 30 minute increments. this can make the adjustment more comfortable.

stay as consistent as possible. try to keep the habits you've built, even over vacations or exam seasons. discipline will eventually become a habit.

only drink in moderation, alcohol can do serious damage to your circadian rhythm. alcohol generally is bad for you and should not be overconsumed.

if you're having persistent issues with sleep, reach out to a doctor or a sleep specialist who can help you.

finally, be kind to yourself. you can't force yourself to sleep, and stressing about it will only make sleeping properly more difficult. change comes gradually, and you can achieve anything you set your mind to as long as you're consistent.

~*

i hope you're having a lovely day. if you have anymore tips for achieving a healthy sleep schedule, please let me know. i would love to hear it.

[ophanum]

' DO I WANNA KNOW ? — Alice in Borderland

ft. Yandere! Suguru Niragi, Shuntaro Chishiya, Morizono Aguni, Takeru Danma, Mira Kano, Rizuna An, Hikari Kuina, Ryohei Arisu x Male! reader

Synopsis: Alice in Borderland cast if they were yandere. All except for Usagi because she's an angel in my eyes.

tags & tw/cw: Yandere, smut, porn without plot, AIB-typical violence, bondage, kidnapping, manipulation.

notes: This is inspired by my work in progress in wattpad called King, you should go check it out here.

❝Cause there's this tune I found that makes me think of you somehow and I play it on repeat until I fall asleep.❞ -- Do I wanna know? by Arctic Monkeys.

NIRAGI

Niragi will be a bit of the type of person (yandere) to be clingy all the time, which is always ten feet away from you, either stalking or trying to impress you by belittling you. Yep, bullying you s/o so they think your cool, nice going Niragi. But you don't conform, just stare at him with an undersmirk that keeps him weak and falter for some reason. But under all that, he just really want to eat your validations when it happens. It makes him into a pathetic fool and he kinda of hates it, but because of you he'll do anything. Blood on his hands if anything. Praise kink. Sucks at your dick and let his own dangle out and untouched and red because he doesn't want to be a bad boy. And he'd have that puppy eyes, wanting your approval.

CHISHIYA

Chishiya is the type of person to be flirty around you, dropping his smirks and mysterious glances at you like a fox. Because of the situation where you are in with blood gore and suffering in borderlands, he hates it when you suddenly leave the conversation (albeit uncomfortable) and leave him there to overthink where he did wrong in the conversation. He will keep you close though, not wandering too far from his radar. He would tie you up to the bed. Stare you down with those cat-slit eyes fileld with those deep knowledge but right now, just right now, everything is reserved just for you. You smirked under the cloth tied around your mouth. He would kiss you passionately, taking it off, but when you suddenly bite the corner of his neck, his eyes shoot up, whimpering as he does so. He gasp and stared at you like you offended him, surprised that you did that. He backed to your legs. "You're such a tease." He whispered. Looking down at you at the same time rubbing his clothes dick. It didn't take long for him to fully undress his bottom part and expose all of it to you as he whimpered, moaned, and growled until he comes. Always stare dazing-ly at you, like he can't seem to think when you are in his line of sight. Shower thoughts.

AGUNI

Aguni was firstly impressed how you survived the whole thing. Seeing you in one game and thought you were going to die in a day but you didn't. He wanted to recruit you in the military, but before that, he wants to test you first. Hatter was the first one to see how he was the one who keeps smiling at you and tries to create bad situations a bit loose so he could swoop in and make himself known to your peripheral, even for just one glance, when usually he would be in control of the situation far more earlier until it becomes a bad one. All he wants you to do is watch him as he undress himself and do it to amuse you. When you compliment his muscles he would flex it without shame. Wear clothes that would reveal it more. Kiss you under a tree at night while forehead touching, his eyes gazing into you, but even so, He would masturbate behind you while you sleep. He would like vanilla sex but at the same time he is a dom that love you with all his heart.

HATTER

He would be the type of person to keep you to himself wherever he goes. Not flaunting you in public, but he would always be five feet away from you. He would flirt with you nonstop but when it comes when you're the one flirting, he would be flustered and on his knees. He can share you, but if there would be someone who would cross the line, anything above sexual, he would immediately be furious and fuck you senseless. Keeping you in line. Call him daddy and shit. Licking his fingers while mentioning eye contact his mouth wide open as he feels a twitch on his pants. A moan leaving his lips and eyes hooded. Aguni would be trying to calm him down whenever there's someone touching his man. Hatter would be crossed armed while glaring blankly at a wall, while Aguni is beside him standing with his hands on his pockets, talking to hatter out of the thought of murdering he person who touched you wrongly. Oh, and he's hesitant for you to go to dangerous places. But now that you got the hardest challenges, it make him turn on and keep you to himself even more. Another night of pleasure and praise, ruffle his hair and let you suck his dick. He would always be turned on whenever you lick your fingers.

ANN

She would absolutely love to tie you up against the bed and take you for herself. A lot of teasing and banter at first, but when she started smiling around you and protecting you from harm in games, then the other could think it was already obvious. What was interesting is, she may be a tsundere. But there will be moments where she will be the one to tease you, and sometimes it's not really teasing, she would just be enjoying herself on top of you. Grinding her ass on you and sometimes masturbates when you aren't around. If the yandere goes too hard, she will be very VERY desperate and will and ultimately-- wear bunny clothes to seduce you. Probably smell your underwear and masturbate to that. She loves to enjoy herself when you're not looking, undress herself while you sleep and enjoy herself.

MIRA

she will try to seduce you at first, rub her hands on your clothed dick and winks. But now where the yandere begins. You go to a game and she's there. she protects you, even if it's not obvious, since she's too busy. But when she's covered in blood, she will lick it up from her fingers and shove her fingers onto your mouth. You try and run away and you did. She's fine and just sighed at you with a dreamy look. When you wake up, you'll realise you are in a dungeon, you are tied up to a chair. And Mira will strip herself while lap dancing, and enjoying you. Sucks your dick. She is a sadist, so she'll probably drown you while riding your dick. and if you are a woman, then grinding I guess.

In the kitchen, she would just probably just smear herself with sweet food or honey and masturbate to you, using whatever she can find in the kitchen.

KUINA

work out sex. period. So aggressive with you. A lot of makeout sessions. Will let you suck her off. And she would be on the moon. Yandere her will be just her own self except the intensity of sensitivity she has when you give her affection. She would literally be a dog to you if you ignore her. Naive and so intent to what you're going to do to her.

ARISU

Acts innocent but really is dirty minded. Will hump the pillow and say "Please, not there—!" And you would laugh in the background. and he would do anything to please you, like anything, he would kill, but also he would be fine if you want to kill him. He's literally a doormat that you can step on whenever you'd like.

[ghouldtime]

*slides into the DMS*

S O. What does social anxiety for König look like through your fantastic characterization then? 👀

(Love your Alone operator series btw. Got me on the edge of my seat with each chapter!!)

(Thank you!! 💚💚💚 I'm so glad you're enjoying :D you all have been so so sweet with it and Im over the MOON so many people have liked it)

To answer this question I'm going to have to be a biiig yapper and explain why I think of him the way I do

Going to say this to start, but I'm going with the true fact that König is indeed diagnosed with social anxiety - anything else I'm saying is based off of my personal interpretation of how he acts in game as a disclaimer

I'm also going to state that personally, the König I write is in his lower to mid 40's. Sorry not sorry, I don't see him as a young dude. Especially not when it's pretty much agreed upon that he's a colonel. So he's had a SIGNIFICANT amount of life experience, and a significant amount of time to work on himself and have introspection.

To me, it makes the most sense that he was diagnosed with social anxiety earlier on in his childhood since it was significantly more obvious when he was younger. Something that severe wasn't unnoticed by those around him because some of them did care about him. It's also stated he's suffered from severe social anxiety throughout his life so that's how I took it.

I personally go with he grew up in a more rural town in his homeland of Austria, which meant there weren't exactly others around during the first few years. "Go play with the neighbors kids" didn't really work when there weren't neighbors around. It was mainly him and his parents and an occasional relative over.

What could be brushed off as initial shyness clearly couldn't be anymore when he finally was enrolled in school.

Even on the first day when it's "introduce yourself to everyone", he fucked that up so monumentally it'll be engraved forever in his hall of shameful memories that he thinks about late at night. School was an utter nightmare, quite frankly, from moment one. The whole situation was too much, too stressful, and too different from the life he had at home. He flat out refused to get up and present in front of the class and wouldn't talk in group projects just for the fear of embarrassing himself. At that time, he was hitting all the indicators for social anxiety like they're the targets he shoots at today.

He missed out on a lot of interaction with other kids initially because of how awkward he was - and having any form of anxiety never helps in social situations. Talking to others wasn't something that came naturally and his own panic amplified it tenfold. Most times, he'd either pretend he didn't hear them, avoid them, or stray as far to the edge of the group as possible to avoid it. Unfortunately this made him an easy target because kids are RUTHLESS and turned him into even more outcast as well which only worsened it.

School always sucked for him due to that, despite the fact that he was a smart kid. No amount of smarts could save you from social persecution when you had nearly no social skills to boot. [ side note but I'm dying on the hill that he's incredibly intelligent and has a bachelors degree (at the very least)].

His parents kept him in therapy to help him manage because without it, he'd be back at square one refusing to go to school and faking a cold just to get out of it. And of course, therapy is a very important tool when it comes to healing, coping, and managing severe mental disorders. The whole reason why he doesn't show such bad anxiety anymore is because he kept the skills he learned and applies them so much that it becomes his second nature.

He's had at least 35 years of this, he's good enough to mask and to keep up his facade.

Another part of why he doesn't show it nearly as much is because he joined the military and was thrown through the wringer with it. Being bullied for so long was a major motivator for joining in the first place, as he needed something to get away from the peers who tormented him so and he needed a new life where he wasn't known as target #1. But he ALSO wanted to gain actual confidence and more certainty in himself.

Joining the military really means you're not left with such things as many choices when it comes to anxiety in social situations. You're forced into quarters with others, have to work side-by-side, do nearly everything together, so on and so forth. He knew that going in but at that point for him it was like extreme exposure therapy, the last step he needed to really put everything he learned in therapy to work.

That doesn't mean he didn't suffer or loved it. No, it was terrible, intense, and nerve-wracking. But he wouldn't have done it otherwise if he didn't want that. Being in the military didn't give him the leeway to avoid what made him anxious, it taught him to face it head on and fight.

Now that he's up there in age and has considerable more experience (and leeway with having a higher rank), the ways he expresses it [look at me finally answering the question] are more subtle.

On the field, you're likely not going to notice it. Because that's him turning the little auto pilot switch in his mind to on when he has a job. The job is his focus and everything has been so engrained in his mind that it's muscle memory. He's, quite frankly, focused on not dying and getting any job done over himself. The joking you often hear him do and taunting alike is part of how he's expressing the confidence he feels when he's in his element, when he KNOWS what he is doing.

If you look closely or approach him off the field, however, it's another story. He usually tenses or straightens himself out when people approach and will hold that until they leave (unless they're someone who he truly knows). Many assume that's a taught habit of the military, but that's only half-true. He did that before then.

Unlike when he's working, he doesn't have a guide or things he knows he has to do in a specific order to best ensure survival - no matter how much talking to other people feels like the heat of the battle, you can't (legally) solve it with a gun or throw a frag and book it out of there. There's no true guide to social interactions and that stresses him out. There's no manual, no field guide, no ten step card on how to successfully navigate them.

He knows things that are normal to say, he knows sometimes what he should say - it's just a matter of finding the phrasing and how to say them. Yet it seems like whenever someone doesn't follow his pre-programmed line of thought when it comes to their talking, his mind can shut down and go blank as he stares, trying to figure out where to go or what to say (spoiler: it usually doesn't end well).

He's usually awkward to talk to because he's running over everything in his head as he tries to think of what best to say to avoid further interactions or ones that could be more targeting to him. And, as mentioned, he lacks the average set of social skills that plenty learn in childhood because he didn't have that proper socialization. He's also still not the best at talking itself and can be blunt and to-the-point, which also doesn't usually go down well.

Not to mention, he's bad at small talk and has a terrible, sarcastic sense of humor that many can't read and it quickly turns things uncomfortable very fast because everyone takes him seriously. It never helps he usually doesn't explain himself all too well, usually leaving it as is as he secretly wishes he didn't talk at all when mortification sets in. Hurrying away with an excuse of some paperwork or something else to busy himself is his go-to after those.

When possible, he'll avoid small-talk and greatly prefers gestures instead. Someone who can appreciate his greater need for silence and a lack of talking is someone who he will greatly appreciate in turn. He's a firm believer that not all silences are uncomfortable and sometimes, it IS best not to say anything at all.

Due to his childhood too, he's not really fond of being around many people and will do his best to avoid it. Unless he has to grin and bare it, he won't. He finds his mind calmest when he can just be himself without having to worry about saying the right things to appease others or to be friendly. That way he can focus on what he wants, think how he wants, and feels how he wants without second guessing himself or having to worry about existing.

He's going to avoid most public settings when possible. Though he can now suitably manage his anxiety, they're something he passes up on. Grocery store trips are something he does maybe once a week or two, if that - stock piling so he has to go to the store less is his usual strategy. Anything he can do himself, he WILL do himself, if he doesn't have a trusted person who can do it better or can help.

Notably, he also doesn't have many friends. He's like talking to a brick wall and unless you're considerably persistent and understanding of his need for space, you won't get far. A lot of people don't have the time nor patience for it, but if you do get close to him, he does come out of his shell. He appreciates anyone who cares enough to actually get close to him and get to know him despite how awkward he can be, and will be loyal to the end because of that.

Another side effect is that he doesn't sleep well. Between the massive amounts of trauma from his job and the trauma from his childhood, he doesn't sleep well as is. But the social anxiety aspect comes into play because many nights, his mind is rerunning all the interactions he's had as he chronically overthinks them. He always wonders what he could've done, how he could've improved, and what they're thinking of him (even if they're someone he may never run into again). Its very hard for him to shut his mind off and doing such usually requires him drowning everything else and making himself not think about that, or anything, any more.

[Another side note: He's an avid reader. Reading gives him new things to think about and can help put him to sleep, especially before bed. It's a good way for him to stop thinking about whatever was nagging him and shifts his mind into thinking about other things he enjoys instead)

Basically, IN SHORT this isn't my full in-depth detailed characterization of exactly who I think he is - the reason he's not presenting it as an anxious ball of pure energy who is so uwu shy and soft is because he is incredibly well-managed with his severe social anxiety at his age and that's uh, just not him. Social anxiety doesn't mean he's a blubbering mess or will cry at the slightest inconvenience and reducing him to that or treating anyone with social anxiety like they're a child because of it does not help at alllll.

He's had extensive therapy for this, he's got his methods, he can mask very well. He's a WHOLE GROWN MAN who is responsible for not only his actions but how he manages his emotions and he knows it. But if you know him and know what to look for, you'll be able to pick it up.

(Also the sheer amount of scenarios I've seen where people think he just would... cry if you took his mask off??? Him???? HIM???? König, "I can make you talk, where are they?" the skilled PMC operator? That one? That guy? Yeah no, anyone dumb enough to do that better have signed their will prior or hopefully has an intensive love for scrubbing all the floors with a single old toothbrush. He won't tolerate people harassing or hustling him or pressing on his nerves. Sure, it reminds him of his childhood bullies, but quite frankly that behavior as grown adults trying that is RIDICULOUS, it pisses him off and immediately lowers his opinion on them.)

To whoever made it this far, I hope this made sense, I took melatonin before I got the ask so I'm in another realm right now LMAO. König is one of my favorites and was the first character I realllly really loved and I just hate seeing him done so dirty. Especially as someone with severe social anxiety myself, it irritates me when it's portrayed just so... wrong and quite frankly, in a lazy, offensive manner lacking any nuance especially in relation to the character who has it. Like just making him stutter and cry isn't all social anxiety is and there's SO much depth and things to work with despite the... actual substance as far as his bio goes

[pickled0ctopus]

No spoiler personal and honest opinion about Dragon Age the Veilguard

[😀]

Battle is really fun. Even though I love DAO, I’m not typically a fan of tactical combat, and this might be the first DA game where I actually enjoyed the battle.

I like the expanded companion quests. I loved Lucanis' the most.

Semi-realistic comic style works better than I’d expected. The visuals and animations were solid overall, at least for me (still thinking about how Lucanis looked at Rook in that romance scene 👁️👁️). Except for the heavy filters and flashy effects; those were a bit much.

[😐]

Too much repetition. The game recaps constantly, which becomes dull. Like they worried old DA fans won’t remember what just happened a minute ago.

Romance isn’t big compare to previous games. Honestly feels like the weakest romance content of any DA game (well I only remember how much I loved and giggled so much in the old games). Maybe it’s because events in this game unfold so quickly? Just don't expect the same level of content as in DAI. Though, this is just my issue—if you don’t care about romance, it’s fine.

Unfinished story potential. There’s good material here, but it feels half-done. A shame... really.

Choices feel fake. You get three dialogue options, but they’re just slight tone variations of the same line. If you like to playing a jerk in BioWare games, you might be disappointed.

Inconsistent story details. I’m not a lore expert and don’t remember all the characters, but even I noticed some parts didn’t add up well—almost like the writers forgot details from past games too so they just brushed them off. Also removing many choices from earlier games didn’t help; it only made things more questionable.

It’s a fun game that I enjoyed a lot and will replay it just to see Solas again, but do I love it as a DA? I'm not sure.

It’s not about new setting or tone. I was fine with a fresh protag. But now, after finishing this, keeping the Inquisitor as the protag for this end of the Dread Wolf saga would’ve made much more sense to me. I would’ve loved to see the old, ragged Inquisitor raging again like in Trespasser, and give a proper farewell to both the Inquisitor and Solas, whether you swore to save him or not. The writing in this game seems just lacking. In any case, I was just glad to see Solas again and listen to him talking💓 Gareth really nailed it again. The emotion in his voice, I just 😭 I swear Garrus and Solas can send me with their voice alone. Now, I'll just go and sobbing in the corner👍

[slamdunk-headcanons]

Fights, haircut and basketball - Imagine Mitsui Hisashi

Hello guys! So I decided to bring my SD imagines to this blog. They were originally written in Portuguese, and I used AI to do the most part of translation and revised it after to do some corrections and adaptations. So this is the very first one I wrote for SD, in 2016, for my favorite character, Mitsui Hisashi. My writing style is in third person, not second person. I hope you all like it!

Posted on Spirit Fanfictions, Wattpad and Nyah!Fanfiction (all Portuguese version) Word count: 3.6k Warnings: fem!reader, mention of gang fights, a bit of cursing, angst Cover by @ezrealsicons

Synopsis: Mitsui and [Name] were unseparable friends. But when their feelings became something more than just friendship, everthing caved in. With the Mitsui's injurey and his subsequent withdrawal from basketball, his personality began to be dominated by resentment and anger. The boy started to despise everything related to the sport, including [Name]. However, two years later, a fight and and old dream would finally make him remember how important she was for him.

“You did what!?"

[Name] looked at Mitsui with wide, horrified eyes. The boy had shown up at her mother's beauty salon that late afternoon without warning, his face covered in bruises and dried blood. The girl had quickly pulled him to the back of the establishment so he wouldn't draw attention in case a client arrive. The last thing she wanted was for Mitsui's problems to spill over into her mother's business. Now they were talking in the break room, which was fortunately empty.

The boy still had the same intimidating appearance that [Name] had seen the last time they met. The face that had once been marked by the features of adolescence was now almost entirely covered by his blackish-blue hair that cascaded down to his shoulders. His navy-blue eyes, once so bright and full of energy, were now dark and heavy. And to top it off, [Name] couldn’t even remember the last time she had seen Mitsui smile.

Faced with his friend's accusatory question, the senior kept his head down and his hands buried in his pockets. The shame he had felt earlier, in front of the man who had given him the determination to win the regional championship, now seemed to weigh ten tons on his broad shoulders. He could endure the accusing looks from everyone, even from Kogure and Akagi, but from [Name]...

"Hey! Answer me, Hisashi!"

He hunched his shoulders even more. It was hard enough to confess what he had done, let alone repeat it. Besides, didn’t [Name] already have enough reasons to despise him?

"I decided to get revenge on Miyagi... I wanted to do it by disqualifying Shohoku from the Nationals through a fight. If the rumor that the players were involved in a gang fight at their own school spread, they would surely be banned from the championship. So I gathered the judo team members and asked for help from a friend of mine, Tetsu-"

Mitsui didn’t get a chance to finish. A sharp, resounding slap stung his already bruised face, causing him to stagger back two steps. His hands instinctively covered the spot where he had been hit, and his navy-blue eyes rose in shock to meet the girl in front of him.

"Are you serious!?" she shouted angrily. "Didn’t I tell you to never speak to me again? And you, not only you disrespect that, but you also come and tell me something like this!?"

The high schooler lowered his gaze again and returned to his previous dejected posture.

[Name] had been his friend for years, and they had met because of basketball. She always played on the neighborhood’s public court, and it was there that he saw her for the first time. He clearly remembered being captivated by how she smiled while playing, and that made him interested in the game. He really wanted to experience the joy that made that girl seem so happy.

Mitsui then asked [Name] to introduce him to basketball. Reluctantly at first, the girl agreed to be his tutor. She taught him everything she could, from basic movements to the tricks of faking and three-point shots, which were her pride and joy. It was on that quaint basketball court that their friendship flourished.

Over the years, Mitsui and [Name] became inseparable, and their friendship began to take on new dimensions. However, neither of them had the courage to make a move, as neither was sure of their own feelings.

And that’s when everything caved in.

After Mitsui’s accident and his subsequent withdrawal from basketball, his personality started to be consumed by resentment and anger. The boy began to despise everything related to the sport, including [Name].

One day, the girl invited him to watch a street basketball game that was going to take place on the same court where they had first met. With disdain, he laughed in [Name]’s face and said he had better things to do.

"I'm not going to waste any more time with stupid things like basketball," he said with a mocking smile.

The girl looked at him in horror, unable to believe that those words had come out of Mitsui's mouth.

“What!?” she shouted, shocked.

“That’s exactly what you heard,” he spat. “I’m not wasting another second on basketball.”

And without giving [Name] a chance to ask any more questions, he spun on his heels and walked away.

After this episode, the high schooler began getting more involved with gangs and street fights, and the chasm that had formed between him and [Name] grew ever wider. Finally, one incident in particular completely ruined their friendship.

Angry after the beating they took from Mitsui’s gang, some troublemakers from Kainan High investigated Mitsui’s connections and discovered [Name]. After obtaining her address, they observed her routine for a few days. After a week, they ambushed her as she was heading home in the late afternoon. Meanwhile, one of them was tasked with delivering the message to Mitsui.

As soon as he found out, the boy was overcomed with an intense feeling of guilt and rage. He never imagined he would end up involving his friend in his fights, let alone as a hostage. Blinded by anger, he ran without hesitation to the agreed location, making a decision along the way: he would distance himself from gangs once and for all so that she would never be at risk because of him again.

When he finally reached them, he realized the true extent of the trap he had fallen into. [Name] was at the back of the alley, held by two burly high schoolers with contemptuous expressions. As soon as they spotted Mitsui, the other gang members blocked both exits of the alley, giving the boy no chance to escape.

“I knew he would come,” their leader sneered. “Let the girl go. We’ve got what we wanted.”

A momentary sense of relief washed over the student, and he searched for [Name] with his eyes. The girl was rubbing her forearms, marked by the strong grip of the thugs, and as soon as she processed that she was free, she looked for Mitsui among the figures present. When her eyes locked on his face, distorted by a mask of conflicting emotions, she marched toward him with determined steps, tears welling up in the corners of her eyes.

How? How had it come to this? How had he let something like this happen? And to her, of all people!?

Everyone turned to look at the slender back of the girl, who was walking forward with clenched fists. As soon as her childhood friend's face was within reach, she raised her right fist and delivered a solid punch to his left cheek.

"Bastard!" she shouted, tears streaming down her cheeks. "How did you get to this point? When did you stoop so low as to drag me into these stupid fights!?"

Mitsui kept his face turned away, his dark blue eyes vacant and empty from the shock.

"Never again..." she said through gritted teeth. "Never speak to me again."

Those words from [Name] hurt more than any punch or kick he'd ever taken in a fight. They hurt more than his knee injury. They hurt more than giving up basketball.

Even when he had given up on everything, she hadn’t. She believed that one day, the bitterness from what had happened in his first year would fade, and Mitsui's passion for basketball would resurface. And even as he sank deeper and deeper, she tried to support him, tending to his wounds so that he wouldn’t have to hear so much from his parents.

And he had simply dismissed all of it.

That day, the beating he took after being insulted and humiliated by the Kainan thugs didn’t compare to the pain of losing [Name] completely. He had deluded himself into thinking she would stand by him despite the stupid mistakes he’d been making. What else would he lose?

Since then, [Name] had never spoken to him again, and Mitsui had no choice but to respect her decision. In her absence, he continued to get involved in more and more trouble and fights, and the little hope hidden in his heart of returning to basketball disappeared completely.

However, the incident in Shohoku’s gym that day awakened old memories of basketball for Mitsui. The feeling of sinking the ball with a simple flick of the wrist, the euphoria filling his chest as he drove past opponents toward the basket... Remembering all of this, Hisashi Mitsui finally realized just how much he missed basketball and, most of all, how much he missed the person who had brought that wonderful sport into his life.

God! How he wanted to play basketball again! How he wanted to play with [Name] and see her smile in that unique and captivating way...

It was because of all this that he swallowed his pride and ran to see the girl he had dismissed out of pure arrogance and selfishness. He had to make things right. He would never forgive himself if he didn’t try.

Mitsui lifted his melancholic dark eyes to [Name] and took a deep breath.

"I know what I did was unforgivable. I really was a selfish idiot, only thinking about my whim of becoming Shohoku’s ace... and it ruined everything." He squeezed his eyes shut tightly and then reopened them, this time with a determined look. "But I need to tell you something."

The girl straightened where she stood and crossed her arms. Her eyes shifted to the floor, filled with pain and anger. She wanted so badly to believe Mitsui’s words. She wanted so badly for him to have truly recognized his mistakes and turned things around... But what he had done wasn't that simple.

With a furrowed brow, she bit her lip and lowered her head.

"I'm going back to playing basketball," Mitsui blurted out, as if the words were forcing their way out of his mouth. "I don’t want to keep pretending that I don’t want to."

[Name]'s eyes widened, and she immediately locked them onto her friend’s face.

"I know it might be a little late since I’m in my third year. But I still want to make the most of the time I have left in high school. I’m going to...

The sentence weighed heavily on his tongue, and he had to press his lips together to prevent the words from spilling out awkwardly. He wanted to show [Name] that this was once again his dream.

Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes, then opened them to look at his friend with a crease of determination on his forehead.

"I'm going to help Shohoku conquer Japan."

[Name]’s lips parted in a small “o,” but not in horror or anger, but rather in surprise. Before her eyes, she finally recognized the determined expression of the Mitsui she had known on the court in their old neighborhood. The boy she had taught to play basketball, who had become much more than just a good friend, was once again standing in front of her.

"Hisashi..." she murmured, her eyes widening further.

Mitsui straightened his shoulders, pulling his hands out of his pockets. He raised a hand to his neck and scratched it, looking down at the floor as shyness took over his gaze.

"So... [Name]-chan... I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to say or do all those stupid things to you. I know it’s not something that can be fixed with just an apology... But today, I really need you."

As soon as the last sentence left Mitsui’s lips, both felt a rush of heat rising to their faces. [Name] averted her eyes to the floor and began rubbing her fingers together with her thumb. The teenager scratched his neck even more quickly and continued:

"It’s-it’s just..." He blinked and, with great effort, looked back at the girl standing in front of him. "Since you helped me take the first step in basketball, I want you to do it again. I want you to help me take the first step back into basketball."

[Name] shifted her weight to her left leg and looked at her friend with a mix of insecurity and suppressed hope. She wanted so much to say yes. She had dreamed so many times of this moment—the moment when Mitsui would tell her that he was going back to basketball, returning to being the boy who had won her admiration in such a simple, genuine way...

But [Name] was fully aware that Mitsui's mistake was almost unforgivable, and she wasn’t going to let him think it would be easy to make everything right.

"I'm not going to play basketball with you, Hisashi," she said in the sternest voice she could muster.

The high schooler flinched as if he'd been punched in the gut. My God! How those words hurt. [Name]’s disdain was worse than any beating he had ever taken. But he deserved it; after all, he had also treated her with disdain... and in the worst possible way.

"I know," he said sadly. "But I need something only you can do."

[Name] furrowed her brows and waited. Mitsui raised his left hand until his fingers reached a lock of his dark hair.

"Could you... cut my hair?" He paused, trying not to stumble over his words, and laughed nervously. "Don’t worry. I’ll pay."

[Name]’s eyes widened so much that Mitsui thought they might pop out of their sockets.

Since girls tended to do this more often, she knew the significance of a haircut at a moment like this. Mitsui really wanted to change and wanted to leave a physical reminder of his new goal: to conquer Japan wearing Shohoku’s jersey.

After a few seconds, [Name] lowered her head and, turning on her heels, said, "Come here."

Surprised that he hadn’t received a harsh response from the girl, Mitsui promptly followed her with an astonished expression. She led him to the bathroom used by the staff and opened a cabinet containing a stack of white, fluffy towels. Grabbing one, she pushed it against the broad chest of the teenager and said, "Wipe off that blood so you don’t scare the other customers. When you’re done, go to the salon. I’ll be waiting there."

Mitsui nodded promptly and quickly cleaned himself up. When his face finally lost the most alarming signs of the fight, he folded the towel, leaving it in a corner, and headed to where [Name] was waiting. The girl was already dressed in a smock, with a cape draped over the same arm holding a pair of scissors.

"Have a seat," she said, her face wearing an indecipherable neutral expression.

Mitsui obeyed and sat down. [Name] adjusted the chair’s height and looked into the mirror to meet the boy’s blue eyes reflected there.

"So, what will it be?" she asked, running her fingers through the teenager's overgrown hair. Her touch sent involuntary shivers down Mitsui’s spine, and a slight blush spread across his cheeks.

"Ahm..." he muttered, glancing at the countertop cluttered with beauty tools. "You can cut it all off."

"All of it!?" she replied, her expression once again showing shock.

"Yeah. I mean, really short. It’s more comfortable for playing..."

The girl ran her fingers through Mitsui’s hair once more, taking a few measurements, and nodded.

"I’ll cut it little by little, and you can tell me if it’s okay, alright?"

"Uh-huh," he murmured, trying to stay still as he heard the first snips of the scissors cutting through his hair.

[Name] worked in silence, avoiding Mitsui’s deep blue eyes whenever she checked the cut in the mirror. However, it was impossible for her not to notice his features as the long hair stopped covering his face. Now that the black curtain had disappeared, [Name] could finally see the changes puberty had brought to her friend’s face. His jawline had become well-defined, but in a gentle way. Dark circles under his eyes marked the edges of his cheeks, which were covered in bruises and scratches, yet this detail still gave him a certain maturity. His straight nose had the same effect. His thick, black eyebrows perfectly crowned his pair of navy blue eyes, which had always captivated [Name] in a way she would never admit. Now they were much more visible, and this pleased her deeply.

In the end, Mitsui’s new haircut suited him very well, giving his face a more playful and determined look.

Yes... This was the Mitsui she had known.

"So?" she asked after making the final touch on the left side. "What do you think?"

He turned his head from side to side to see the new hairstyle from different angles and then smiled, satisfied. [Name] went to the counter and grabbed a square mirror so Mitsui could check the back of his hair too.

"Oh!" he said, smiling even more. "It really looks good! Thank you so much, [Name]-chan!"

While the teenager admired his friend’s work, [Name] couldn’t help but notice his features again. Mitsui had turned out much more handsome than she had anticipated.

Realizing this, her cheeks involuntarily heated up, and she lowered her face, afraid he would see her embarrassed expression.

"You’re welcome," she murmured, moving to the counter to put away the mirror and the brush she had used to remove the excess hair.

As soon as she removed the cape that had covered him, he stood up and quickly reached into his pocket, pulling out some green bills.

"How much do I owe you?" he asked, checking the amount he had.

[Name] had her back to him, organizing the counter and sweeping some leftover hair onto the floor. She bit her lip at Mitsui’s question, and the phrase he had said earlier echoed in her mind:

"I know. But I need something only you can do."

"Could you... cut my hair?"

Now that she could finally see Mitsui's eyes without his long black hair in the way, she was certain that he wasn’t just talking for the sake of it. She recognized his stubborn determination in the navy blue of his eyes. The haircut was his way of telling himself that he wanted to, and would, become who he once was. If she charged him for it, Mitsui's request would lose all its meaning.

"Nothing," she said, reaching out for the broom that was leaning nearby. "It's on me."

"But...!" he blinked, stunned as he stared at the back of her head. "I said I’d pay!"

"Shut up and accept it, idiot," she replied, too afraid to turn around and meet his eyes.

A whirlwind of emotions tore through her chest. Her head was spinning with confusion. She wanted so badly to celebrate this, to support him at his games, and to train with him... But at the same time, she couldn’t forget what he had done. And that stopped her from showing what she truly felt.

The teenager remained silent for a few moments before saying, "[Name]-chan... Please, let me pay for the haircut. I'll feel really bad i—"

"I already told you it’s on me!" she exclaimed too loudly as she turned her body and began sweeping with her eyes fixed on the floor. She walked past Mitsui and bumped into his shoulder hard. "I’m done here. You can go."

Mitsui didn’t move. His eyes went blank, staring into nothing as he digested [Name]'s harsh words. He had known from the start that he wouldn’t win her trust right away, but that didn’t lessen the weight of being treated like this by her.

However, even though she was clearly resentful, [Name] had granted his request. And if she didn’t charge for the service... it meant that, deep down, she wanted to do it for him and was happy that he had come back.

A slight smile curved Mitsui's lips as he realized this, and he quietly approached [Name] until he stood just behind her.

"[Name]-chan," he called, letting the gratitude he felt fill her name.

Hearing his voice so close, [Name] tensed up, feeling her cheeks flush once more. Trying to sound as harsh as possible, she turned sharply and growled, "Hisashi, I already told you to—"

But she couldn’t finish the sentence. As soon as she turned around, a soft, warm touch on her left cheek silenced her instantly. Mitsui was leaning in, his hand gently resting on her left shoulder as his lips placed a very sweet kiss on her blushing face.

The touch lasted only a few seconds, but it was enough to make all the hairs on [Name]'s body stand on end. Internally, she wished Mitsui’s touch had lasted a little longer. Pulling back slightly, he whispered, "Thank you."

He then straightened up, running his hand through his hair in a slightly awkward manner.

"Well, I’ll be going. See you later, [Name]-chan."

He turned on his heels and headed toward the exit of the salon. The girl remained frozen, staring at the back of her childhood friend. She hated herself for being so affected by his gesture, and even more for knowing that deep down, she really wanted Mitsui back... for herself.

Maybe it wasn’t the right time for them to reconnect, but they could start, right?

She went back to sweeping, and just as he stopped to open the door, she raised her voice: “Hey, idiot.”

Startled, the teenager turned his torso enough to look at [Name] with a questioning expression. “If you don’t make Shohoku rise to the top of Japan, I swear I’ll beat you to death".

Mitsui's eyes widened, and gradually, a smile replaced his shocked expression. He chuckled quietly as he remembered the countless times he had said he would conquer the nation. There was no turning back. This time, he had to succeed.

Widening his smile even further, he looked at [Name] defiantly and said, “I’m on it.”

[pheavampire]

Astarion, Cazador and D&D vampire lore

Let’s talk about D&D vampires and some lore inconsistencies in Baldur’s Gate 3.

BG3 is not a game about vampires. It was obvious we won’t get a playable character who will be 100% vampire spawn from the handbooks - the mechanical balance would be disturbed in comparison with other characters. But we can list some weird stuff and missing aspects. For fun, for fanfiction, for nerdiness.

I still wonder why Cazador even asked Astarion if he wants to be turned. Sure, he could do that, so he could say later „ha ha you asked for it!” but still - weird. Anyway, a vampire lord doesn’t need to ask - he just bites his victim, kills it by drinking its blood and boom, a vampire spawn is made. Almost made…

… because at first the victim needs to be buried and layed in the ground before it rises. That’s the next question - how the hell did Cazador make 7000 spawns? Theoretically he needed to bury them all, dig them back/wait until they dig themselves out or something and transport them to his dungeon without being noticed. His servants could do that for him, but it still is a pretty big thing to cover. Besides…

… accordng to D&D 3.5 edition: "At any given time a vampire may have enslaved spawn totaling no more than twice its own Hit Dice" which means it was impossible for Cazador to create 7000 spawns. Sure, Baldur's Gate 3 uses 5 ed rules, but I'm sure they didn't change this one that much. (BUT! We can interpret this rule as: a vampire lord can create as many spawns as he wants, but the number of enslaved ones is limited. That's all right in this case).

That being said, Astarion is surprised when he discovers that all Cazador’s victims are spawns now. One of his dialogue options is „I thought Cazador was feeding on you”. Well yes, he had to feed on them to make them spawns Astarion, I thought you noticed that yourself 200 years ago. But let's say I understand your confusion, 7000 spawns mean Cazador's hit dice is 3500. Lol.

As a vampire spawn, Astarion should be able to regenerate even without biting someone. To be precise, he should get 10 health points at the start of every turn until he gets killed. But ok, this one doesn’t work in the sun, so let’s say it’s justified… unless the party is in the underdark, shadowlands or other dark place. But yeah, that would be too OP.

Astarion should be afraid of holy symbols, mirrors and garlic. That would be quite irritating, as he wouldn’t be able to even get near Selune's stuff or Lathander’s temple (Lathander HATES the undead, just ask poor Jander Sunstar). But let’s say the tadpole gave him immunity.

Spider climb. Imagine Astarion climbing walls or even ceilings like a damn Spiderman - this is what a regular vampire spawn can do. If the tadpole took away this ability, that’s not very nice of it.

Claws. Astarion should be able to transform his fingers into claws at will. That’s right, it works like another melee weapon.

Coffins, graves et cetera - bunk beds in Cazador's palace are a very anti-canon idea. Because D&D vampires have really traditional weaknesses, they always have to „sleep” in the ground they were buried in to recover - just like Cazador. Jander I mentioned earlier invented an un-lifehack, as he was traveling through Faerun by keeping some of the dirt from his grave in his pocket. He was scattering it in the place he wanted to rest for some time.

A vampire spawn can be controlled or banished by clerics like any other undead. That's right, when Shadowheart casts this one, Astarion should roll the dice, or else he will have to run away from her like those zombies you banished during your playthrough.

Last but not least, vampires get damage if they are in the flowing water, for example river, but you already know this one from the early access Astarion. Shame they removed it, in was a bit irritating but I loved it. It reminded me Astarion is a vampire not only in the dialogues.

That's all I can think of now. My knowledge is a mix of 3.5 and 5 ed, do with it what you want. I wouldn't mind more lore accuarte Astarion fanfics though.

Shocked Astarion reading D&D Monster Manual. Or Libris Mortis.

[mtheonott]

 Winter emptiness.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

⌗ angst, comf, winter, au

word count: 812

note: :р

Fatigue. Regret about life. Unpleasant feeling of your own body. The unbearable burden of existence. Or the void. You didn't know what you were feeling at the moment.

There were no more tears streaming from eyes, and time didn't feel like it was moving at all. The cold wind helped not to completely lose yourself in this moment. 

A hand rested on the railing next to you, but you didn't even turn around because you knew who he was. Theo. This is the first time a guy who is always frowning and distant has ever looked at you with anything other than annoyance. 

You never got along with him: the eternal barbs, jokes, quarrels and meaningless conversations about who is better. But at that moment, it was as if you both felt that this place wasn't meant for childishness.

Nott took off his scarf and casually wrapped it around your neck to protect you from the winter weather. His gaze drifted to your cheeks, which were covered with fresh tears.

— What happened? — Theo asked indifferently as he scanned the night sky. 

The Christmas party was in full swing, but fate decided to block out too personal a moment from prying eyes, making you cry on the balcony. The December frost stung you face pleasantly, but it didn't matter. You were still staring blankly ahead, not even looking at the houses. Mouth opened involuntarily, as if to answer for its mistress. 

— Nott, what did your parents give you for Christmas?

The boy frowned, replaying the memories in his head. 

— Video games on the console. And what? — He answered without taking his eyes off your face.

— My parents didn't give me anything. Absolutely, — you shrugged, — For the first time in my entire life.

Theo chuckled. His amusement didn't even surprise you, because this is his typical behavior - making fun of other people's problems. 

— That's so touching, — he laughed a little more until he realized you were serious and rolled his eyes, — Oh, please don't tell me you were crying because Mom and Dad didn't give you anything.

You didn't react to his laughter in any way. Not up to it now. Sighing again, you decided to open your heart for the first time, hoping to get something in return.

— After Mom died, Dad started working twice as hard to provide for me and my younger sisters. Every day to see his torment was already unbearable. I couldn't even bring myself to remind him of a gift for me. Before, only my mom used to buy me presents, but now she's gone, — you finally looked down at your hands, — When I was little, I used to dream about my eighteenth birthday: lots of friends, a vacation with my parents, and the coolest gift from them. However, all I have now is a couple of friends. It's a shame, isn't it?

Nott stopped smiling as he looked at your face, completely drained and lifeless. He sighed languidly and released steam from his mouth, or rather condensed moisture, as the brunette mentioned earlier during another argument. 

— I'm sorry, but you can't feel sorry for yourself. The world is cruel, and believe me, I know it. But if you don't grow up and realize that the past won't come back, you'll spend the rest of your life in misery.

Theo looked like he was speaking from his own experience, which he clearly had. Your lashes fluttered slightly and you looked up at him. The woman's dry lips were slightly parted in small surprise. 

— You know you're a jerk, right?

— I know, I know perfectly well, but someone had to tell you the hard truth, — he shrugged, — You can live your whole life in misery and sadness, blaming the rest of the world. Or exist as a normal adult and find some semblance of happiness. Choose for yourself.

The guy took one last look at the night city and left the balcony, leaving you alone with his words. You watched him go. The words echoed in your mind, and heart began to pound again. When he left, you sighed and licked your dry lips. Standing up and wiping the tears from your cheeks, you promised yourself to look at the world with your head held high. He's right. You have to live happily without paying attention to the little things. This is just a stage that can be bypassed in no time, if you force yourself to stop. 

Soon, you came down to the party, smiling and laughing. Hips began to move again to the New Year's music, and mind cleared of problems. At this time, Theo was looking at you from the side, grinning and making a note for the future - take a second scarf with him. 

[deceptive-daydreams]

Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5 | Ch. 6 | Ch. 7 | Ch. 8 | Ch. 9 | Ch. 10 | Ch. 11 | Ch. 12 | Ch. 13 | Ch. 14 |

Smoke Signals

Chapter Four - Boiling Point

W/C: 7.4K

Eddie x Fem reader - Grumpy!Bartender!Eddie x Shy!Reader

Warnings: Mentions of vomiting, slight SA (groping), drinking (if I missed anything please let me know)

A messy night and several unfortunate events.

A/N: This one got a little long but it was so fun to write, chaos is really fun to coordinate but my poor babies are taking the brunt of it all woops

Masterlist

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Working nights had flipped your entire sleeping schedule upside down.  Two weeks had passed since that first evening where you worked an entire shit show and you still weren’t accustomed to resting in the afternoon in preparation for the night shift.  It didn’t seem like such a big deal seeing as the bar thrived around three nights a week and remained quiet to steady the rest of the time but with a staff of only four, the workload piles up.  Tossing and turning on the couch, you groan, longing for a peaceful sleep that would energize you.  The bed wasn’t doing you any justice which is why the couch sounded that much more appealing but as it turns out they both had the same effect.  

Keeping you awake.

Now, there wasn’t anything remotely wrong with either one however, you just couldn’t seem to get comfortable enough to find that blissful sleep you were yearning for.  

You were restless.

What didn’t help was the incessant shredding of an electric guitar next door.  The high pitch clawed at your ears and echoed throughout the canyon your house was settled in.  You could either suck it up and muffle the sound as best as you could with a pillow, or you could confront your noisy neighbor and politely let him know you were trying to sleep in order to fuel yourself to run his bar.  Confrontation was not your specialty and you would avoid it by any means necessary.  But it couldn’t hurt to just ask him to stop.  The worst he could do is laugh in your face and slam the door.

And that would be enough to turn your blood hot, not in rage, but in shame and embarrassment.  Maybe it was best to tuck your sweaty and fidgety body back into the couch for long enough that the imprints of the rough fabric would show up as indentations on your skin.  Hopefully the shrieking of the guitar would eventually fade away and become background noise in your dreams.  

It never did stop.

–

“Jett, could you please toss me that rag?  Major spill at table four.”

It was 6:00 PM, Friday night.  Just about every table and every stool was occupied, a competitive game of pool provoking many men to yell at the top of their lungs, causing your ear drums even more grief than the endless guitar solos you had to endure earlier.  On top of it all, drunk people on a Friday night were not easy to clean up after, several spills inevitably happening on your watch, with more than enough evidence to back your claim up.

“I’ll get it, you go on your break.”  Jett advises.

The Bourbon was nearly at capacity, a majority of the town’s regulars seated along the bar and even more of its residents engaging in their pre-weekend activities.  The people of Knife’s Edge were rambunctious or at least, that’s the only side of them you’d seen so far.  Most likely because they were all getting hammered.  Maybe you should get out more?  Then you could see their personalities sober and not glazed over with the confidence of alcohol.

“You sure?”  You ask sincerely.

Jett didn’t even have a second to glance up at you from the beers he was collecting, a whole round of them for a table of five men roaring with laughter.

“Yeah, if you don’t take it now it’s only going to get busier and you never will.”  He yells over the booming music.

“Okay.”

You’re reluctant to leave him alone but you trust his judgment, seeing as he has no issue making that call.  And customers seemed to love him, joking back and forth until he practically dragged himself back behind the bar.  They hadn’t seemed to take that kind of liking toward you quite yet and the only compliments you received were gross comments from older men that slurred their words, you respectfully dismissing yourself to tend to other customers just to escape.

Quickly, you make your way toward the back through the narrow hallway that leads out to the alley.  The bar had become stuffy, too many humans populating the small space, prompting a much needed break for a breath of fresh air.  Almost reaching the door, a haven that would relieve your sweat coated skin with a crisp breeze, you collide into something firm, a deep grunt coming from the source.

“Watch it, Bambi.”  Eddie barks, glaring down at you.  He holds an unopened bottle of tequila, knuckles white as he tightens his grasp.

“I-I’m sorry.”  You stutter, taken back by his stern voice.  It was for the most part, always stern but this time it was especially disapproving.

“Where are you going?”  He asks, brows furrowed.

“My break.  Jett just–”

“Your break?  Now?  I need all hands on deck right now, take your break in like thirty when it calms down.”  

A vein in his neck looks as if it’s about to pop, stress evident in his entire demeanor.  Even his lips are bitten and red from what seemed to be constant tugging from his teeth.  Maybe he needed a toothpick to chew on instead?  Maybe that’s why he chewed on them in the first place?

“Well I–Jett just sent me on break.”  You reason.

“Jett?”

“Yeah.”

He breathes in deep, head tilting toward the ceiling as he exhales through his mouth, clearly trying to maintain his calmness.  Although it always seemed like he was going to blow up and cause a scene when he got like this, he never did.  

“Jesus Christ, kid’s gonna give me an aneurysm.”

Walking down the hall toward the commotion of the bar, he shakes his head, curls bouncing and that famous frizz framing his head like a halo.  You keep your movements halted, feet glued to the floor in confusion as to whether you’re meant to follow him or actually go on your break.

“So do I–do you want me to take my break or–”

“Just go.”  He calls back, this time a calmer tone detected in his voice.

If you were meant to do the opposite in some sort of reverse psychology moment, you didn’t.  The cool air called to you and you were going to use all ten minutes to bathe in it, and reset your nervous system.  Eddie could sweat in your place for the time being.  

Things had been easier since that first shift; the cook, Randy, had returned and said that he left in the heat of the moment, explaining the following day that he lost his cool and was so certain he was going to quit.  Then he came back to his senses and realized how unrealistic that was and that he was in no position to be searching for a new job right now.  He was on the verge of begging for his job back but what you’d heard from the back office was Eddie telling him not to ‘pull that shit again’ and to ‘get back to work’.  No further discussions or arguments on the topic ensued since that day.

The chilly Autumn air brushed against your cheeks upon stepping out the door, not too much of a bite to it yet but enough to warrant a slight shiver.  The sun had already set just over an hour ago, darkness already enclosing the surrounding world.  It felt empty and devoid of life, but not in an apocalyptic way, but rather in a serene kind of way.  It was quiet except for the whisper of leaves of the birch trees in the wind.

This place still felt so far from home and your loneliness was still as prominent as ever.  You worked, went home, slept, woke up at around 10:00 AM, fixed breakfast, attempted to go back to sleep, failed and sometimes visited Donnie at the supermarket, and repeated.  The routine was sad and you might as well have been a grouchy old woman that no one spoke to or went near, not a twenty something year old who should be making the most out of her life.  The locals weren’t unfriendly, you just couldn’t seem to fit in.  Jett was the closest thing you had to a ‘friend’, although he was your coworker and some may see it as mandatory that he remains friendly with you.  Outside of work you had little to no interaction with others, usually opting to stay in and clean or watch reruns of some shows you had pre-recorded on a collection of VHS tapes.  It’s not to say you didn’t enjoy your nights in, you just wished you had the option to call someone up to hang out or make plans every now and then.

Ten minutes flew by like it was seconds, the door leading inside swinging open unexpectedly and smacking against the concrete wall, Eddie’s head poking out in search of you.  

“Excuse me, do you work here?”  He asks sarcastically.

You control the urge to roll your eyes, having a better sense of his antics in the past two weeks and knowing that no real consequences would apply to you under these circumstances.  You still maintain the need to react to his dramatics and remind him that you were helping him out just as much as he was helping you.  But you push it down and straighten your posture.

“Yes.”  You reply, eyes staring up at him with a hint of resistance.

“Could’ve had me fooled.”  He snaps, ducking back inside.

Following him, you finally give into the urge to roll your eyes behind his back.

“I timed my break just right.”  You notify him, glancing at your watch.  “I was about to come back.”

“You’re a minute late.”

Instead of allowing you a chance to argue with him, he jumps right back into action and starts clearing off a vacant table.  The rush hadn’t stopped all night, table after table being cleared only to immediately seat a new party.

After he strides off with a pile of glasses and a few plates, you get to work on wiping everything clean.  It was a newfound system, a plan that hadn’t been agreed on by either of you but was understood regardless.  With how understaffed the bar was, it worked like a charm.  

Jett’s main role was behind the bar but every now and then he would catch onto whenever you and Eddie were running behind and he would swoop in to take care of a table or two.  Recently, you learned that the other bartender, Pete, had quit and skipped town about a week before your arrival, making it that much harder to keep up with the demand of the customers who regularly chose The Bourbon to decompress at.  So now it was only you, Eddie, Jett, and Randy running the whole place.  It turned out not to be too bad of a gig, weeknights were slow enough and Sundays the bar was closed, leaving Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays as the busiest nights of the week.  The tips were decent enough as well.

Especially from those creepy old men which was an unfortunate situation you could do without but hey, it helped pay the bills.  If you ignored their advances and didn’t completely reject them, they’d leave behind a nice tip.  It felt icky, pocketing the money but the more you thought about it, the more compelled you felt to take their money.  If they were going to waste your time, you might as well be compensated for it.

One man in particular had been lurking at one of the corner tables, purposely opting out of the bar seating to instead have a higher chance of you waiting on him.  He must have been in his sixties and had an unnerving stare that just made you want to hide back in the kitchen.  You failed to inform Eddie, simply because he didn’t need further reason to see you as dainty or incapable of holding your own.  

So you gulped down your fear and put the blinders on as best you could.  

Just take his order and get it over with.  Then you can move on with your night and hopefully he’ll be out of here soon.

And right off the bat, his disgusting mouth started running.  Something about ‘can a pretty little thing like you get me a drink?’.  Then a few more unsolicited nicknames with a smirk and some remark about how good your body looked.  Something you didn’t care to hold onto in your mind, you only felt the need to take a shower.

As you rounded the corner of the bar and got to work making the pervert’s drink, you found yourself lost in thought.  Thoughts about if he found out where you lived, you may be done for.  It was a small town after all and it wouldn’t be difficult.  

“Hey, you good?”  Jett asks, shaker in hand, concern obvious in his knit eyebrows.

“What?”  You’re pulled out of your mind, shaking your head as if to lure yourself back to reality.  “Yeah, I’m fine.”  You assure him.

He nods but his expression shows that he’s not very convinced.  You finish off the drink you’d been absentmindedly making, a scotch on the rocks while offering Jett one more reassuring smile before making your way out from behind the bar.

Like you were throwing yourself back into the lion’s den, you approach the man’s table, hoping to quickly drop off his drink and be on your way.  If only life were ever so kind to you.    

“Thank you, sweetheart.”  A disgusting grin paints his face and just before you can mumble an ‘mhm’ and rush off, an unwelcome hand gropes your ass, sliding down, down, down.  You can’t see his face but you know he displays the most revolting smirk following his actions.

With a yelp followed by a gasp, you freeze.  Paralyzed, you aren’t sure how to move forward, how do you recover from being reduced to a piece of meat?  Flesh to be gawked at and held onto without permission.  An object to be handled.

“I-I’m sorry but—“  You begin to stumble over your words but never get the chance to say much more when the sound of a chair screeching against the wood floors, arguably worse than nails on a chalkboard, is heard behind you.

Upon turning around, you’re met with the sight of your boss shoving the repulsive man toward the door by the collar of his mustard stained shirt.  Eddie's strength shows despite his lean figure, appearing to have no trouble in maneuvering the man where he wants him against the door.

“What the fuck was that?”  Eddie bites, nostrils flaring as his cheeks seem to heat with a hue of red.

“Listen—“

The man’s hands are thrown up in surrender but it’s apparent that wasn’t the true intent behind his actions.  An excuse was on the tip of his tongue before Eddie cut him off, not an ounce of patience left.

“What.  The.  Fuck.  Was that?”  He repeats, grip tightening on the shirt collar, face inching closer to the man as a means of intimidation.

“Just a little flirting, she was into it.”

You can’t help but grimace at the pathetic attempt to cover up what had actually happened.  And it seemed that Eddie didn’t take too well to that answer either, further pushing the man into the door if even possible.  The scene had drawn the attention of almost the whole bar, a sea of eyeballs glued to the altercation about to happen, your very being flushed from embarrassment from the mere idea of being the source of all of it.  Had you walked away quicker, it would’ve gone unnoticed and you could’ve gone on with your night, leaving everyone else undisturbed.

“Yeah?”  Eddie cocks his head to the side, his chest heaving.  “Didn’t seem like she was into it to me.”  

“She was—“

“I wasn’t fuckin’ asking.  She wasn’t into it.”  

If looks could kill, the guy would be erased from existence with no trace of life left behind on Eddie’s account.  His big brown eyes showcased pure rage, a distinct difference from the annoyance and the fiery glare he’d cast on you every so often, especially when you would forget to pile up the dishes his way.  No, this was far more devastating and should you one day be the recipient of his aggressive stare, you’d be reduced to tears on the spot.

“Now you’re gonna get the hell out of my bar.  I never wanna see you again—“

“Listen man, I’m not—“

“I’m fucking talking.”  Eddie growls.  “You get the hell out of here and never come back, you hear me?  And you better fucking hope I don’t catch you pulling some shit like that again, I will kick your goddamn teeth in.”  He promises.

Confrontations like this were not something you were familiar with, always running off before things got too far.  You suppose that’s why people feel it was okay to use you as a doormat.  It always feels easier to drop it and walk away, ‘be the bigger person’ or whatever they say.  Even if it actually meant making you feel like the smallest person on earth.

All the back and forth and frequent swears with intention of aggravation had labored your breathing, your chest struggling to allow movement, feeling like a straw was delivering air to your lungs.  Just when you’d attempt to swallow a big enough breath of air, it would all go to waste and only provide just enough oxygen to get by.  A cold sweat threatened to spill from your hairline, your palms clammy to match.  The murmurs and whispers of witnesses had your eyes darting from person to person, suddenly all too aware of the life you were living.

Too human.  

You don’t remember another word exchanged between the two men and you certainly don’t remember how you managed to claw your way to the bathroom amidst the turmoil.  But here you were, staring into the dingy mirror with no purpose other than to escape.  And it wasn’t working.  Suddenly the lights were too bright and the room was too small, but it was secluded and that's what mattered.  Having some kind of an episode in front of the entire bar would be far worse, having an episode alone where prying eyes cannot dissect your every movement and reason for being is the better option.  It wasn’t often that your mind went to this extent when being faced with a challenging situation but when it did, you didn’t find it easy to come out of.

You heard your name floating somewhere in the bleach scented air but couldn’t quite bring yourself back enough to recognize who required your attention.  There was a head peeking in at the door after some frequent knocking and though you kept insisting you were okay and just to give you a few minutes, the individual seemed to have reason not to believe you.  

“Hey, Ed!”  He called behind him.  It was Jett.  A sweet and scared out of his mind Jett from what you could decipher through squinted eyes and blurred vision.  He was obviously being faced with unfamiliar territory, I mean who is ever prepared to talk someone down from an anxiety attack in the middle of a shift?  Panic was evident in his voice just as much as it was evident in your whole body.

“Eddie, I need some help!”  He yells again.  “Hey, you okay?  What happened?  Do you need–”

“Move over.”  You hear Eddie mumble before the door swings open, the hinges squeaking painfully.  “You’re asking too many questions.”  

With a swift shut of the door, Jett hurries back to attend to the several customers awaiting service.

“Listen to me, Bambi.  You gotta breathe.”  His voice is smooth, a huge contrast to what you’d just heard moments ago. 

When your legs begin to feel wobbly, as if you were a calf taking its first steps, you slowly lower yourself to the ground, a sturdy hand wrapping around your upper arm to support you.  

“In.”  Eddie inhales, though you can only hear him since your eyes are shut so tightly, your eyelids might rip.  “Out.”  He exhales.  “C’mon, breathe in–”

“Is she oka—”

“Jett, fuck off for a minute.  Please.”  Eddie begs, clearly fed up before returning to his newfound gentle tone.  “Can you look at me?”  He diverts his attention back to you, Jett taking the hint and shutting the door, leaving you and Eddie alone.

Eyes squeezed shut, you shake your head.  Your body shakes involuntarily, the anxiety becoming even worse when you try to contain it, like it wants to jump out and strangle you.

“Okay, okay.”  He attempts to soothe.  “You wanna get some air?”  He asks just above a whisper.

“I-I dunno.  ‘M sorry.”  You manage to choke out, sniffling.

“Okay, no big deal.”  He sighs, running a hand down his face, not out of irritation but more so exhaustion.  “Let’s get you outside, it’s too hot in here.”  

Before you can protest, he’s wrapping an arm around your shoulders and supporting the majority of your weight against him, walking you out of the bathroom and out the door into the alley.  The chilly air bites at your skin and thankfully, reality slowly starts to return again.  

“Try breathing again, in and out.”  Eddie encourages.  

You nod, jaw locked tightly both from the cold and from the paralyzing anxiety coursing through your veins.  Your teeth feel as if they could crack at any second, the pressure from you biting down too immense but you can’t bring yourself to unhinge your jaw.

“In.”  Eddie coaches, exaggerating a large breath, his chest rising with the motion.  “Out.”  He exhales through his mouth, his breath visible in the air.

He continues the breathing exercise a few more times, you following carefully as things become clear again.  And from all that had just happened, all you could gather was that you were a huge baby who couldn’t handle a rogue customer.  You weren’t capable of holding things down when it got rough.  

Pathetic.

“I-I’m sorry, I don’t know–I don’t know what happened–”  You try to make sense of it all, failing miserably.

“What happened was some pervert copped a feel and we don’t play around with that shit here.”  

Anger is obvious within his expression, even more so when he pulls out his pack of cigarettes and lights one hastily.

“Did you…”  

The question is on the tip of your tongue however, you won’t let yourself say it at the risk of sounding even more like an injured bird.  

“What?”  He asks, kicking around a few pebbles, the cigarette hanging from his lip before he brings his fingers up to grab it and inhale.  His brows are knit together, still beyond bothered by the dispute that just occurred.  

“Nevermind.”  You mumble.

His gaze meets yours, lashes casting perfect shadows just over his cheek bones in the warm lighting of the street lamp and once again, among all the darkness that pools in those chocolatey irises, there is a twinkle.  Barely noticeable but still there.  

“What?”  He urges again, voice monotone.

“Did you…did he…?”

“Did I fuck him up?”  He asks, brows raised.

You nod bashfully, a hint of fear flashing in your eyes.

“No.”  Eddie scoffs.  “I should’ve though.”  He flicks the ash from his cigarette toward the ground.  “Motherfucker.”  He mumbles.  

“Why didn’t you then?”

It was too forward and you had no business asking.  Really, it just tumbled out, off of your tongue, barely a thought behind it before it was too late.  Now you were just asking for a reaction, not a good one at that.

“It was either that or let Bambi suffocate in the bathroom.  Gotta pick your battles.”  He gestures toward you, shrugging.  

It wasn’t the reaction you were expecting, you were bracing for a bigger explosion.  Waiting for him to tell you to get back to work and to stop asking questions.  But he didn’t.  He just continued to kick little pebbles around on the pavement, his boot scuffing along the surface as he smoked.  He looked relaxed for once.

“Oh.”  You reply, staring down at your own shoes.  “I-I’m sorry.” 

“Is apologizing like…your hobby?”  He questions, shoving his other hand into his pocket.

“Well–uh no, no–”

“I love that you’re out here having bonding time but I’m a one man show in there and I need some supporting acts.”  Jett interrupts, the door creating a gust of wind and then flooding you with temporary warmth from the air inside.  “I at least need Eddie.”  He pleads.

Nodding frantically, you begin to make your way back inside, Jett already speeding off to resume his duties.

“Hey, you okay to go back in there?”  Eddie asks, dropping his cigarette and stomping it out.  “You can take another minute–”

“I’m fine.”  You insist.  He didn’t need further evidence that you were frail and incapable.  Whether it was intentional or not, he had bruised your sliver of self-confidence.

–

The rush was finally over, the last of it being a party of ten which left a table full of dishes to be delivered to the kitchen for washing.  Each plate was stacked in your palms, piled high as you worked one hand out from underneath to add on a few cups, cutting down on the amount of trips you would need to make.  You’d blocked out the vile events that occurred earlier in the night, at least until you had time to cry about it to yourself which when working at The Bourbon, there was never time for that.  So it would have to wait until the drive home.  Maybe you’d even save it for the shower where you could truly release all of your emotions in peace, no judging eyes or risk of a car accident.

Successfully stacking a few cups among the tower of plates, you spin on your heel, making your way toward the kitchen as the others cleaned up, Jett wiping down the bar and kicking out the lingering drunks, and Eddie cleaning up the mess that the pool table had become.  It was 1:00 AM and if everyone did their part, you’d be out of here by at least 1:30.  Tensions had been high all night, one inconvenience after another occurring, only adding onto everyone’s stress and only giving more incentive to clean quicker and go home.  A broken glass here, a messed up order there.

The kitchen door is just in reach and when you push into it with your shoulder, all of your calculations fail, the pile of plates collapsing as they hit the door frame rather than dodging it like you intended.  Each plate crashes against the floor, shattering into pieces, a few of the cups also breaking on impact.  It was the icing on the cake of a bad night, the final straw and your reason to burst into tears and yet you don’t.  

Not yet.

Not here.

A total of four eyeballs watch in shock, two more joining in as Randy, the cook peeks out from the kitchen door.  Though the tears didn’t burst from your eyes quite yet, they did sting, they stung horribly.  You could feel them brimming at your waterline, just a centimeter away from trickling down your cheek and exposing you as the biggest crybaby in the world.  If it wasn’t already apparent.

Do not cry.

And if it wasn’t already bad enough, Eddie seemed to completely reverse his gentle attitude you’d become suddenly accustomed to earlier.

“What the hell.”  He glares, slowly approaching as he sets a few glasses back down on the pool table.  “Do you watch where you’re going?  Do you have eyes?”  He asks.

You don’t dare answer, frozen in place as your nerves tingle in panic once again.  You don’t feel real.  You feel as if your spirit has risen from your body and is watching over the conversation playing out.

“Now I’m out what–ten or so plates?  Do you know what it costs–”

“Eddie.”  Jett tries to take control of the situation, taking notice of your watering eyes.  And unfortunately so does Eddie.

“What–oh, you’re gonna cry?  What did I tell you?  I told you this job wasn’t for someone like you.”  Eddie snaps.

He was bitter, unpleasantly bitter like a shitty cup of coffee.

“Eddie, stop it.”  Jett tries to defend you, though you wish you could defend yourself so you didn’t seem so pathetic.

“I told you I can’t babysit you–”

“I know.”  You manage to quietly sob, bending down to start collecting the broken pieces.  There’s an awkward moment of silence, the air thick with tension and anticipation of more insults.  All you can do is wait.

“Just leave it, just–leave it.”  Eddie sighs, running a hand through his bangs.  “Just go home.”

The demand isn’t necessarily an insult like you’d imagined but it still feels backhanded.  Like he was telling you ‘I told you so’ and rubbing it in your face.  As if he gave you a chance with the means of preparing for this moment, the moment you fucked up even slightly.

“I’m gonna get the broom.”  Jett says, eyes wide as he scampers to the back.

Staring up at Eddie, large pieces of plate collected in your hand, all you can make out in his eyes is outrage.  Downplayed outrage that hadn’t fully escaped yet and you didn’t want to hang around long enough to witness it.  He was capable of much more than he was letting on.

“If you can’t handle–”

“You know Eddie, you’re just mean.  You’re being mean.”  You declare through a frown, internally screaming at yourself to keep it together, to not let a tear spill over.  He didn’t deserve the satisfaction of watching you cry.

“Did you know you never even asked for my name?”  You swipe underneath your eyes, catching any tears that longed to trail down your cheeks, displaying your distress, instead wiping them on your apron.

His unkind stare lets up, eyes softening ever so slightly.  

Too late.

“I’m not a person to you.”  You drop the shards from your hands, standing up to head toward the back for your things.

“Wait–”

If he kept talking, you didn’t stick around to hear it.  You scooped up your bag from the rusting lockers toward the back of the kitchen, tucked away in a corner before striding to the front, toward the bar.  If he thought you were some kind of an entitled brat that needed babysitting then you were going to give him more than he bargained for.  Granted, you weren’t thinking straight either, the stress of the night only adding up and creating an outburst you would otherwise bottle up.

Grabbing a shot glass from under the bar, you reach for one of the nicer tequilas, something smoother that wouldn’t burn as much.  Tequila always put you in a good mood and never gave you a hangover.  Filling the shot glass, you don’t even bother looking over at Eddie or Jett, who was now sweeping broken plates into a dustpan.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”  Eddie hurries over, staring you down.  All you offer him in response is a shrug before tossing the liquor back.

Refilling the glass, you sneak a glance over at him from across the counter, his jaw dropped in shock and his face red and flushed with anger.  Steam was nearly shooting out of his ears.  The second shot is thrown back and your muscles begin to relax, anxieties melting away even at the basis of creating more problems.

If that wasn’t enough for him, you finished it off with a third shot, hoping it wouldn’t be too much all at once.  You were brave enough to look right into his eyes, daring him to say the wrong thing.  

“What are you doing?”  He asks again, calmer but still heated.

“I’m just acting how you think I should.”  You answer, a fake smile painted across your lips.

“I’m not comping those.”

His focus burns into you, lips in a tight line as he watches.  If looks could kill.  For the second time that night.  Except this time, you were on the receiving end and had you not been three shots in, it would’ve terrified you and had you apologizing profusely.

“Well, I’m not paying for them.”  You say, pouring yourself one more for good measure, swallowing it like it was water.

As you go to make your big exit, you’re faced with a harsh reality.  You’re definitely drunk, or at least very close to being drunk as the alcohol consumes your body, and you’re definitely not driving home like this.  You did not think this through.  But you kept walking anyway through the kitchen and out to the back just to lean against the concrete wall pathetically.  You were starting to wish that you’d gulped down some water before leaving to aid in sobering up.

If the sight of you leaning against the wall behind a bar at 1:12 AM wasn’t sad enough, tack on the fact that you had finally let the waterworks flow, your drunk self especially susceptible to your muddled emotions.  

“Bambi, what the fuck.  You gonna drive?”  Eddie emerges from the kitchen door leading outside, seemingly cooled down but you still don’t trust it.

“Don’t call ‘m Bambi.”  You slur. 

“What are you doing out here?”  He ignores your protest.

“‘Jus gimme a few minutes.”  You whine, eyes shut as if it would make him disappear.

“No, not a few minutes.  You’re not driving.”

You never intended on driving but you were finding it difficult to fight him off in your discombobulated state, willing to say anything to get him to leave.  Obviously he had the upper hand at this moment, clearly able to outsmart you.

“I know.”  You wail, tears on full display for him.

“I’ll drive you, let me get my keys.”  

“Nooo, wha ‘bout Jett?”  You ask, wiping away your tears, mascara coating your fingertips.

“Jett doesn't live right next door to you, you’d just be making him go out of his way for no reason.”

Snot dripping from your nose, you glare up at him, earning an expectant stare from him.  All you can do is roll your eyes, too drunk to care anymore.  You still preferred having Jett go out of his way, at least he respected you as a person.  But the argument was lost among gargled thoughts and a short term memory.

“Still mean.”  You insult, finger poking at his chest harshly.  It doesn’t do much.

It feels like hours that you two are staring at each other, likely due to the alcohol running through your system.  He hesitates in running back inside, even if just for a few seconds to grab his keys, his eyes looking you over in concern.  A muttered ‘be right back’ is heard and then he’s gone.

The stars catch your attention, drastically brighter than they would be back home, many more of them too.  A few stand out, gleaming in the sky and making them that much more admirable.  Your mind drifts off to thoughts of the Milky Way, swirling around the universe and ultimately making you feel infinitely smaller and more insignificant.  

What was your place?

Eddie steps back out, keys twirling around his fingers, straight-faced, not an ounce of amusement in his handsome features.  Glancing at him briefly, you then tilt your head back up toward the sky, dazed and almost in a trance.  If you weren’t careful, you could’ve been staring at him like that.  But you weren’t that drunk.  

Or so you thought.

Thinking about it, you must have been the spitting image of insane; mascara smeared across your face, tears glimmering in the moonlight, and your bottom lip set in a perfect pout like a child waiting to get their way.  Your bag was twisted around your body in the most uncomfortable way but you couldn’t find it in you to untwist it and realistically, you should be wearing your jacket but instead its clutched in your fist, the cold pricking at your skin and eliciting goosebumps up and down your arms.  The chattering of your teeth interrupted the silence and played as the soundtrack of your hazy daydreaming.  

It also let Eddie know that he needed to either force you to put your jacket on, or get you in the car.  And he knew he wouldn’t win that first battle so ushering you to the passenger seat it was.  

“C’mon.”  Is all he says, huffing out a breath.

You vaguely recall being helped into the passenger’s side but you don’t remember walking a few yards to actually reach the car or if you were even able to do so on your own.  From what you could tell in your state, his car was a beaten up thing, kinda old but it smelled like those little pine tree air fresheners.  

Once the scenery outside started to move, all thoughts subsided, the only one left was solely to keep yourself from vomiting all over your boss’s car.  You would stoop as low as to drink his most expensive tequila but vomiting all over his carpeted floor was another low you wouldn’t dream of wishing upon anybody.  

Trees zoomed by and you were sure you were going cross eyed from trying to keep up with each and every one.  Some metal song plays through the speakers but in your own little world, you hardly hear it, still subconsciously bobbing your head to the fading beat.

One minute you were sitting content in your dream land, the next Eddie was shoving something into your hands while urgently pulling over.  Your mind hadn’t caught up to what was happening yet however, you could vaguely make out Eddie yelling at you to aim for the bag while you stared directly into said bag.  When you glanced over at him, everything felt as if it were in slow motion and again, he was panicking while yelling at you to ‘puke in the bag!’.

The perfect cocktail of a situation for an individual so reserved and so inexperienced with this much attention.  At least most of it would be a blur by morning.

–

“There you go, just grab my–shoulder!  Ow!”  Eddie complains, your fingers a bit too comfortable with digging into his skin through his cotton shirt as you attempt to hoist yourself up into a standing position from the passenger seat.  

Home was only steps away and then you could collapse wherever you pleased.  Forget about this stupid night.  At least until you awakened as your regularly anxious self.  You’d have a few hours of drunken bliss to forget about life but that’s all you were allowed.  Then you would need to face your consequences, whatever they may be.  Come the morning, you most likely wouldn’t have a job anymore, Eddie would probably come knocking at your door and let you know that you blew it.  And he’d probably laugh in your face at the fact that you proved yourself to be too weak, too dainty, as he so adamantly proclaimed before.

“Oh no.”  You mumble, feeling yourself wobbling, knees giving out underneath you.

“Whoa, whoa, okay!  You’re fine, you’re fine.”  Eddie stabilizes you, arms around your waist.

Your limbs might as well be Jello at this point, rendering you a useless human unable to even stumble to your destination.  It dawns on you that you can’t remember if you even actually puked in the car or not.  Was it coating his interior or had you shoved your head in the bag just in time to spew your guts?  Or did you bravely swallow it down?  Whatever the case, Eddie doesn’t seem to currently have any grievances or any trouble touching you so you must have been somewhat responsible about it.

Your weight depends on him, leaning into his chest as he practically carries you toward the house.  Your eyes flutter repeatedly and—your question of whether you had already puked or not is quickly answered as the contents of your stomach spill out and onto his shirt before you’re able to aim for the ground.  Humiliation was starting to look like your middle name.

As you dry heave and allow a long string of saliva to drip from your mouth while hunched over in the dirt, you hear Eddie muttering several curses.  You think for sure he’s going to ditch you for creating such a stir up throughout the night until his boots come into view in front of you, his hand pulling the hair away from your face as you finish emptying your stomach.

“Okay.”  He sighs.  “Puke it out.”  A hesitant hand smoothes over your back, the lightest touch.

The smell of putrid vomit invades his nose, nausea threatening to take over him as well if he didn’t hold his breath.  Try as he may to ignore the chunks of god knows what on his shirt, it was still all that was on his mind.  He didn’t even want to chance looking down if there was the slightest possibility that it had also gotten in his hair.  Even being covered in your sick, he knows he should be fuming.  But he’s not and it's all so puzzling.  

You marched your ass behind his bar and consumed more tequila than you could handle which in turn forced him to drive you home and then you vomited all over him.  If that’s not enough reason to be pissed beyond belief then he doesn’t know what is.  Yet he remains calm and collected, running his hand between your shoulder blades as he soothes you throughout your dry heaving and gagging.

“It won’t–oh god–it won’t stop.”  You sob, looking up at him, a mixture of snot, tears, and saliva coating the lower half of your face.

You look repulsive and yet he can’t tear his eyes away from you.  The prettiest definition of repulsive he’d ever seen.

“Don’t hold it back, let it all out.  You’re only gonna feel like shit if you hold any of it in.”  He instructs, kneeling down to meet your eye level.

With a few sniffles and hiccups, you nod.  Only now you’re hyper aware of being watched.  It was a sobering experience, puking right in front of your house, not able to even make it to the nearest toilet while your boss spectates and–oh.  

It hits you that the front of his shirt is caked in your puke, bile soaking the fabric while remnants of your late lunch displays itself on his perfect black shirt.  You would never live this down and you would certainly never work another shift at The Bourbon again.  Even if he did scream at you for no good reason, you took it a few levels too far.

“Y-your shirt, oh no–”

“Relax, okay, Bambi?  I can handle a little puke, now where’s your key?”  He asks.  

It’s not that he could handle a little puke, he had to.  Because what good would it do if the two of you were both throwing up in your front yard?

Attempting to answer him, the rest of your stomach interrupts and unexpectedly spews all over his combat boots.  As if the night couldn’t get any worse.

“Shit.”  He mutters under his breath.

“‘M sorry, ‘m so sorry.”  You whimper, glassy eyes staring up at him with regret.  “I din’t mean it, I swear, m’ just–”

“I know.”  Eddie exhales.  “You done puking, is there anything else left in there?”

Shaking your head in sorrow, a few more hiccups escape your lungs but there are no further signs that you’re going to be sick again.  Even if you were, it didn’t matter anymore, Eddie was already well acquainted with your vomit, what harm would a little more do at this point?

As you start shuffling through your bag and patting at your pockets, panic settles in and you can only recall that the last place you’d seen your keys was at the bar, where you set them down to spitefully gulp down as much tequila as you could.  Now it was biting you in the ass, hard.

“Left my keys at the bar.”  You pout pitifully. 

Eddie glares at you, rightfully so.  The man was covered in foul smelling vomit, kneeling on the ground, taking care of you.

“Fucking christ.”  He mumbles.

~end~

Masterlist

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tags - @gravedigginbbydoll @ohauggieo @spicysix @lunatictardis @ali-r3n @batkin028 @mrsjellymunson @witchwolflea @emma77645 @emxxblog @eddiemunson95 @angietherose @lottie-90 @sheneedsrocknroll92 @pullingattheroots @avalon-wolf @vintagehellfire @cryingglightningg @foreveranexpatsposts @winchester-angel @mmunson86 @witchwolflea @kurdtbean@micheledawn1975 @tlclick73 @erinekc @hazydespair @whenshelanded @corrodedcoffincumslut @ms1oftheboys @lma1986 @uglypastels

[frnkir]

i have SO many thoughts and questions about spike so i’m going to dump them here:

so we all know how chase doesn’t remember anything that happens while spike is in control, right? well do y’all ever think about how spike remembers what happens when chase is in control? he seems to be completely aware of where he is or what is currently happening whenever he activates, like at the talent show in spike’s got talent. when spike activated after chase got embarrassed, spike knew what chase’s original magic act was (moving a chair with his molecular kinesis) and continued the act by “moving” (breaking) the chair with his head instead.

another example: in the commando app episode, when perry is reprimanding chase, she tells him a story about when she wiped out during a roller derby game and was forced to quit the team. later, when spike activates, spike insults her by saying she probably just quit out of shame (or something like that lol), which means he remembered earlier parts of their conversation (that he wasn’t active for).

this is so interesting to me because it makes me wonder if spike is still conscious while he’s not active (unlike chase). like is he always watching and listening while chase goes about his day-to-day? is he just laying low somewhere in chase’s mind, waiting for the chance to activate? or does he come out unwillingly from the intensity of whatever emotion chase is feeling? (more under the cut)

he’s clearly shown to be his own person with his own thoughts, beliefs, and abilities separate from chase, so does he just…decide to activate when chase is upset? is spike just trying to help or even protect chase (in his own violent way) whenever he activates? or does he activate because he feels personally threatened when people harass or make fun of chase?

conversely, what exactly causes spike to deactivate? i know he deactivates when chase’s “aggression level” is lowered, but what causes the aggression level to go down in the first place? does it gradually decrease over time? or can certain things calm him down? (like when leo gave him some tea in spike’s got talent)? but it seems like even douglas doesn’t even know how to get spike to deactivate so??? is there just no rhyme or reason to how spike activates or deactivates?

i am definitely overthinking it but this has haunted me since i first watched the show as a kid 😭

[mithrifer]

My thoughts on Flipside

Class of 09 Flipside was hilarious, but I don't think it approaches the original or reup in quality.

I don't think it's because the main character is Jecka, or anything. Honestly, Jecka is the best part of the game, she's consistently good whether it be in jokes or likeability. The side characters just don't... live up to her though. Aside from her it's just Nicole, Jeffery, her dad and Kelly. I don't think Nicole is very good in this game, Jeffery and her dad are rather one note as expected and Kelly... unfortunately stars in the weakest route by far and does not much even there. Barely any Emily and Ari, no Kylar, no Karen. No Kyle. Jecka's great and carries herself quite well throughout the game, but she feels really alone narratively. This could be a conscious choice, as she goes through most of her troubles as a lonely girl without anyone to rely on, but I think they could've made that point without sacrificing the interest that comes with everyone surrounding her. Most of her interactions either use the other characters as jokes or to elevate her story, which wasn't how 09 or reup felt. Nicole got to try out new things thanks to all the weirdos she was surrounded with giving her new ways to have fun, whereas Jecka only really has Jeffery and her dad in that way, and she feels trapped no matter what she does. She didn't seem that way in the first twk games, but I suppose you could say those were not about her. I think the fact that you can't see her mom even on the school routes speaks volumes though.

Every ending is there just to shock you, and I'm not saying this because there's no happy endings or anything, the first two barely had those. It's more like... the endings feel like they barely have anything to do with the routes they come from? Why does the foot route end with... that? It's just out of nowhere. Not to mention the deal with the whole FYE route. I don't think there's anything redeeming about that one, it doesn't even feel like it belongs to the same world. And the way the game cheapens one of the best endings in the original by just, inserting Jecka. Which is something people have wanted for a while now, but I don't think the idea was done justice. It feels like a cheap "here you go" moment to me. It's really upsetting because I feel like the game could have gone in a ton of great places, but there's barely any choices or routes and the abrupt, weird endings just feel like a slap on the face even to the ones that were given. I think the best route was the one about drinking because it felt honest to Jecka's character and the ending was something I could've actually foreseen in one of the earlier games. After that it's the one with Jeffery, but I'm kind of iffy on that because I don't think Nicole would do that. Not for any moral reasons but more due overall disgust. Feels inconsistent with her presently given character.

The writing feels overall different imo. It's hard to put a finger on it, because it definitely relies on the same formula it had in the previous entries, but nothing in Flipside packs the same emotional punch. The humor is fairly good, but it's not spectacular like the first two games were for me. I still laughed out a few times though, since this is right up my alley.

I'm still happy I saw it, because it was quite fun... But it wasn't really more than that. It just felt like a humor piece. I don't know what spoke out to me in the first two VN's, but I don't think Flipside has it. And honestly, considering it true to these two (canon, ig?) lessens their value for me due to the shift in the thematics and I guess writing, so I think I'll ignore it when I think about the series in general. Which is such a shame, because I want to love it, it's just... not there.

It's definitely worth the time to check it out either way though. Again, pretty funny. This is what I felt about it, and I wanted to get my thoughts out. Since it's so early in its release, I've tried to avoid putting any spoilers in the post. Maybe someone will read it and appreciate, idk. Drunk driving rules.

[002yb]

jason and roy have a longstanding guys being dudes thing where they text each other pics of their gnarly bruises and not too serious wounds so that the other can be like “woah, i can see the tread pattern of the boot just from the bruise!” because these things are cool and gross in the way that dudes find irresistible and here is a guy who will valorize it without all the you should have been better undertone or smothering worry and it escalates until one day when jay gets a fingernail ripped off and his first thought after all the danger and blood is ha! this beats roy’s thing from last week and like they are somewhat aware that its kinda abnormal but their text convos are a safe space free from shame or judgement so its all good until someone gets a glimpse of pure gore followed by a winky face emoji when jason goes to open his phone

Just gonna casually bring this around to something more dickjayroy, because of course I would. All the above, but:

Dick and Roy running a mission together and, while successful, isn't without casualty. It's nothing they won't survive, but they're a little fucked up. Dick more so, but he's a scrapper. He'll survive the wait for first aid while Roy takes some sick and sleazy mirror pics for his boy Jaybird. It's all good.

Dick might be a little concussed and bleeding on Roy's couch, but Roy can't not share the road burn that stretches up his arm and shoulder.

Roy hearing Dick call for him from down the hall. Just a thoughtful check-in of, 'You okay?' Like Dick in his current state of wooziness and pain has the wherewithal to come help Roy if needed. The thought is sweet.

The fact that Dick would find the resolve to help Roy even as Dick is s t r u g g l i n g is mildly horrifying though, so.

Some cute banter as Roy sends his message off, calling out to Dick that he's good but also for validation that Roy looked cool while he was skidding across asphalt earlier. He was, right?

Pffft, Dick trying to be playful/teasing when he agrees, but he's so fucked up that it comes out sounding more genuine than anything and Roy is ;U; as he settles in to take care of his friend. Helping Dick out of the top of his costume only to pause because - wow.

Just Dick lacking all self-awareness. He's hurt. He's tired. He's got someone he trusts looking after him, so. Dick just slouches on the couch, head tipped over the back of it. Boneless. Dazed. Chest and abs a beautiful sight - all toned muscles heaving with shallow breaths, and like. Dick being hot is nothing Roy blinks an eye at, nah. It's the ugly, weeping wound in his side that does. Blood stained and irritated and already showing signs of bruising crawling up his ribs.

Of course the camera comes out. Of course Roy sneaks off a picture to Jason (it only shows Dick's wounded torso, even if Dick's scowl is handsome and deserves to be seen by more people than Roy lol).

Anyway, Dick joking about if Roy got his good side. To which Roy snickers because Dick is all good sides; but yeah, for sure.

Then Roy proceeds to actually tend to Dick's injury. Cleaning, stitching, distracting. Dick being a model patient, disturbingly still although he's sweating through all the pain. Seemingly ignoring Roy, only he'd never. Because whenever Roy stops talking Dick opens his eyes to look at him until Roy starts talking again.

Just Dick finding comfort in the sound of his friend's voice ahhhhhhhhhh. ;A;

In which a Roy and Jason ask becomes entirely Dick and Roy omg. This happens every time but in my defense they're perfect, so.

While Roy's hands are all bloody from patching Dick up, a reply comes through on Roy's phone. Roy telling Dick to check it for him.

Which leads to a little coy game of, 'what's your password?' and 'hah! like you don't know,' and 'if it's not my birthday idk if i'll recover,' and 'bull. what's your password?' 'the day we met ;)' which it isn't, Roy would discover later. Which would lead to lots of laughs and play fighting and it'd be cute af.

Anyway, Dick checking the message and seeing that the picture Roy took of him went to Jason, of all people. Jason - who has no idea who he's looking at.

Letting Dick read the texts is top tier distraction plan, on Roy's part. Also, it ends up being funny.

Just Jason being genuinely confused because he doesn't know about all of Roy's missions and stuff. So he's just like, 'hot damn.' 'i know that's not you who's mr.man?' and extra stuff about the actual injury with Jason trying to figure out what happened and being all thirsty because he'd take a bite fr

And it makes Dick laugh and ow, but it's so dumb

Dick taking the cheekiest photo with Roy that shows how he's stitching Dick up and tbh? Roy thinks it's criminal the sort of devastation Dick can cause when Dick tries. In that same vein, he's just as devastating when he doesn't try. That's neither here nor there though.

Roy cackling as they send off the photo and watching through titters at the ensuing silence, the indication that Jason is texting before he disappears before coming back again and going away.

Something something with Roy and Jason being fascinated by injury and gore. Meanwhile, Dick is all there for the emotional damage and injury through flustered feels. He's w/e about a bleeding wound, but blood rushing to Jason's cheeks in a blush? That's what Dick would want a picture of.

Commence Roy and Dick having their own text conversation that is entirely photos of just that LOL.

Roy's just living his best life and he deserves it.

[evelynpr]

For the character ask game can I pick toga :)

I'm gonna be very honest in these, and I might disappoint, but here it is-

My first impression - I started watching BNHA around 5 years ago? It's hard for me to remember what exactly was my first impression of Toga, but back then I really didn't care for her much. Honestly, I just found it quite problematic that the only main female villain in BNHA is an overly cute school girl who fits the "cute yandere" trop to a t when the rest of the male villains look a lot more serious and scary.

My impression now - Perfectly honest- I really only started paying attention to her because of Ochako. I was, and still am, a massive Ochako fan, and when I heard that she suddenly had a massive romantic and tragic battle and narrative with Toga after leaving the fandom for 3-4 years, I was immediately deadly curious. - Even with how much I resonate with her story and character, I generally have a big ick for blood as a whole (surprising for a very loud tgck fan I know). Right now, she's my poor desperate little baby who really really needs love and therapy (affectionate). I wish we got to see more of her regular girly side, like caring for the LOV especially Magne and Twice.

Favorite thing about that character - That her entire story is a mentally ill and queer narrative. Like I said earlier, I actually have a big ick for blood and the cutesy yandere trope. But the thing that gets me about Toga is that she is the most openly bisexual/pansexual character in the series, very clearly mentally struggling, and both thrives and suffers because of her choices and circumstances. - She's such a tragic and hopeful character that represents so many weird people like me that I can't help but be attached. She makes me want to embrace my more girly and selfish side, and screams at me that I should live my life how I want to. - I can't leave out Ochako from this part. Holy shit the themes and story about their relationship makes my heart both break and soar so bad it genuinely hurts. Save people by understanding them, helping them, listening to them. Show someone you can be selfish, that they deserve love, that she deserve a chance. It's so much it punches me to a million sobbing pieces.

Least favorite thing - For the 3rd time now...not into blood. I don't like its taste, look, and the mere thought of bleeding genuinely grosses me out. - You probably think "How in the world are you attached to her then?" well its because I understand that Toga's "blood" is also a representation of her violent tendencies and love. I see it much more as a narrative device for her character and themes.

Favorite line/scene - Shocking, but I actually have not read the manga. I can't say what my favorite scene is just yet because I want to truly witness it animated, when the time comes. - If you want an answer well, from the anime so far, it probably is when she gets her quirk awakening in MVA, or when she confesses to Izuku in the final war (mostly because that scene is so damn hilarious, tragic, and important).

Favorite interaction that character has with another - ...I mean obviously it's Ochako lmao? Every interaction is a fight of ideals and love- which suddenly morphs into a way of challenging each other- then growing into understanding and loving each other. That is. Just insane. How the fuck did BNHA's writers come up with this.

A character that I wish that character would interact with more - For the sake of my Tgck Bkdk square, I really wished for her to have interacted with Bakugou at least once. Just see how one person's violence and power was praised, while the other was abandoned and shamed. How they both have a strong squishy-faced freak they're obsessed with, and also obsessed with them, even if they don't feel like they deserve it. - Oh and, definitely more LOV random shenanigans and bonding time. I wish I was able to get more into them ngl, but I never really felt that sadly. Man...

Another character from another fandom that reminds me of that character - UHHH??? I genuinely have no idea. I am drawing at a blank I am so sorry T__T This is the firsts time I have ever been interested in this kind of character??? Really sorry-

A headcanon about that character - This is kind dark so be warned - I got this idea from a fic and now I can't stop thinking about it. Toga always wanted her love to be reciprocated or understood by someone. Anyone. I feel that she was taken advantage of and abused by horrible people in her earlier days of running away...especially since she's a young teenage girl in a cute school uniform. I am so sorry...

A song that reminds of that character - I am working on a Togachako playlist! It's about both of their characters respectively and also their story and relationship, but here's the ones about Toga specifically! - Hayloft II (THIS ANIMATIC), The Red Means I Love You (obviously lol), Butcher Vanity, Hero (Charlie Puth, mostly tgck), Pink Pony Club (Chappell Roan, early Toga)

An unpopular opinion about that character - She's not the possessive type, and she's really very open to people she loves loving other people at the same time, polymarous kind. This is probably a pretty common hc already tho since she says this repeatedly? - Her most common form of love is a very impulsive/sexual/admiration/attracted kind. You could even relate this to hypersexuality (something I struggle with) where the moment you find something you're into on someone, you body and brain genuinely go kinda out of control. I project onto her my own inability to hold and control these kinds of feelings at times, but Toga is quite the manifestation of my fears.

Favorite picture - I love it when a character's mask peels off. Toga genuinely angry, upset, and just not smiling is so fascinating and beautiful to me in a "It's okay my dear, show all of you, stop hiding" (Ochako might disagree with me on this tho, since she loves her smile lmao-)

[dojunie]

MESSENGER; HRJ [PT15: TWO-FACES]

➥PART 15 OF MESSENGER; a smau about a stranger, a whole lot of animal pics, and a relationship you would never have expected to come from texting a random number written on a public bathroom mirror.

wc: 1.1K

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a/n: double update omg

tl: @matchahyuck@theboyz-jacob @hoeshi17 @neoteez01 @hibernatinghamster @luvvsnae @shwizhies @skynightgalaxy @ihrtnyu @kunvibing @liliansun @txpxwxk @is4b3ll3s @rxnexxi @rum-gone-why @she-is-dreaming @chenfleur @haedgaff  @twogyuu @jeongintwt @wispystarss @chocorenchin @tinidell @defzcl @funkygoose @gyujunhans @simpforarmihn

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THE NEXT LOGICAL STEP WAS FOR YOU TO TEXT HIM, DONGHYUCK SAID.

Which meant the first thing Renjun did after closing Hyuck’s message thread was look into getting a second phone number.

He’d worried about that earlier, back during the impromptu study session when you’d appeared with your gifts— you’d pulled your phone out at the end of the hour and for one bone-chilling second, he thought you were about to ask him for contact information. It made sense; you might’ve wanted to schedule another day to study or something, but he’d frozen like you were about to leap across the table and devour him whole. As stupid as it was, it was only then that he realized he only had one number. And you already knew it. He couldn’t give it to you again, only for the contact to appear as the version of himself he was starting to detest a little more every day, Duckboy’s face popping up on your screen to ruin everything; but if you reached across the table to ask him to put it in, what else would he be able to do?

Thankfully all you’d been doing was checking a text, the same one that made you look up at the clock and curse before sliding all the books off the desk into the open maw of your book bag and darting off. All you left in lieu of a goodbye was a promise to catch up with him again soon and another thanks for the help.

Even as his heart palpitated from the near miss he smiled a little as you ran, and even managed a laugh when you had to twirl, ballerina style, to avoid crashing into an oblivious tittering couple wandering out of the cafe. He promised to figure out the number thing that very night, but of course got caught up with his Econ studies again and forgot.

But now with Donghyuck’s heads up, he couldn’t afford to forget again. 

It ended up being significantly easier than he thought. Maybe guilt made him think it would be a tedious process; having to meet someone at some seedy back alley tech shop somewhere, using cash to slip a brandless simcard into his pocket at midnight— but it only took a single Google to gain another unlimited texting plan under his contract within the minute. It appeared like a brand new string of digits right under his regular one— a shiny new number, quite literally, just for you.

And not a moment too soon. Because your promise to catch up with him again soon apparently meant the next day, where you appeared at his usual spot in the library again, brandishing your phone in his face like court summons.

“I’m not staying long,” you’d said, “I only just realized I should probably get your number if we’re going to do this studying thing again, right?”

And in just the way he’d memorized, he’d entered his new number with a smile. 

He’s not going to lie; at first, he’d felt pretty clever about it. Two phone numbers is a pretty good way to get around his unique, two-faced predicament. Another layer of safety in the stupid game of identity that’s become his life, another potential crisis avoided. But that night, as he laid in bed and prepared himself to reply to the usual textbook’s worth of texts from you, the relief from dodging detection turned into shame like everything else has been doing these days.

What he's doing isn't right. Despite his actions, trust and believe, Renjun is fully aware of that fact.

This had all stemmed from one innocent lie, hadn't it? One born out of honest desire to make things right again— as right as he could without actually telling you the truth, which may of spoke to his cowardice better than he really understood— the idiotic, in hindsight, decision to not immediately tell you who he was. He was worried you wouldn't like what you saw, that he couldn't live up to whatever version of him you seemed to like so much in your head. He was worried you'd think he was some sort of voyeur, showing up at your game without asking for something more nefarious than just wanting to see you.

He was scared something would go wrong if he told you the truth and lied to cover it up. Something small, something that would stay small if he stuck to the plan of leaving you alone.

But he couldn't leave you alone. And somewhere along the way that lie began to... grow. Donghyuck's library ambush, to helping you study that night, to telling you Duckboy moved back to China, to your thank you gifts: every interaction with you fed that lie, and as it grew bigger and bigger, it fabricated into something he couldn't recognize as... genuine, anymore.

Renjun was no longer coming from a place of pure intention. He was being selfish. A kid who craves the party and the cake, someone who swears they only want some but cries and whines for all of it when it so dangles tantalizingly close. Mystery Girl, the version of you in his phone, was the slice. Perfect on its own, the right amount to be full, just enough sugar to satiate; all he thought he needed.

But the you he'd met on the court that day had been the whole, gittering, gleaming, buttercream double-decker. He'd pushed you away on principal, knowing he'd been fine with the slice, that it wasn't fair for him to have it all, that he didn't deserve to have it all. It wasn't even his birthday. He didn't deserve it. He didn't deserve you.

But you didn't know it wasn't his birthday, and as you inched closer and closer, none the wiser to the truth, he got... greedy.

(Accepting your thanks in the library had been his hand reaching out, and offering to help you study had been his fingertip dragging through the icing, forever marring that barrier between before and after. And he knew this. He knew that once he went as far as to taste it he'd be a goner, which was why he knew he had to tread carefully as the lines blurred further. There was no going back when it came to you; once he let himself into your orbit, he'd never, ever be strong enough to leave.)

He flinched as his screen lit up in his hand.

Right above the dozen messages from you as Mystery Girl, was one new text from you. The actual you, the last four digits of the number you’d told him to look out for.

02-939-0…, 8:12PM: hihi!! it is me (y/n lol) 

Renjun sat up fast enough to make himself dizzy, immediately forgetting that he'd meant to text you back first in the other thread, too focused on not keeping you waiting. The real you, anyway.

(What he hadn't really realized yet though, was that the moment he met you on that court, he'd already committed the fatal act of placing the sugar on his tongue. All that was left was to fall deeper and deeper into the high.)

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♥︎ please leave a like if you enjoyed! every time i get a notification it motivates me to work on this series faster ♥︎

[prefect30]

Little Dove

Instead of Lucy Gray, he got her younger, little sister, Rosalie Jade.

Previous Chapter

Chapter Three

"Hey there, Capitol Boy."

Why are you talking to him? Wait, why is that District mutt even here?

The Academy, deciding that it would benefit all students for their new project, let all senior mentors out of school early to help them get to know their tribute.

It was a bit of a hassle for Coriolanus to get out early. High-as-a-kite-bottom argued that he shouldn't be let out early along with the others because he already had a headstart and was late.

Surprisingly, though, Coriolanus' new best friend, Dr. Gaul, said that since it was his idea for the mentors to get closer to their tributes, Coriolanus should be able to go.

So here he was, at the zoo once more. Only to find Sejanus Plinth, standing close to the cage, with an overflowing backpack of different foods, talking to his tribute.

I thought that I was Capitol Boy?

Coriolanus could see the sandwiches, which looked to be a variety of chicken salad, peanut butter and jelly, and egg salad, but how would he know, he's been eating watery cabbage "soup" for almost his whole life years, small water bottles, and ripe, deep purple plums that were slowing falling out of the bag with all of the other foods.

Reaching Sejanus and Rosalie Jade, he picked up on some of their conversation.

"I used to know him. We were friends."

"I'm sorry to hear that, Sejanus. I can't imagine how that feels, having to see an old friend being forced to fight for his life. That's awful." Trying to comfort him, Rosalie Jade held onto Sejanus' hand while talking

Deciding that enough sympathy hand touches were given to each other, Coriolanus interrupted their little conversation.

"Rosalie Jade, how are you?"

"As fresh as a rose in the winter." She smiled at him.

You're actually going to make me go mad with all for your stupid ass riddles! As fresh as a rose in the winter? What the hell is that supposed to mean?!

Sensing his confusion, Sejanus whispered, "She's not doing good. She's not strong or ready."

Not ready?

Looking at Rosalie Jade and then Sejanus in disbelief, Coriolanus tried to save face. "I knew that, I was conf-concered about her not being ready."

But ready for what?!

"Well course I'm not ready. I'm 12 and goin' to fight to the death for my life!"

Ohh! That's what she meant. Why didn't I figure that out and how did the District mutt figure it out first?

"Which is why I'm here, Rosalie Jade. To help you."

So listen to me and leave this mutt here and let's talk away from him. Far away.

"I know Mr. Snow. But Sejanus here was trying to help everyone get something to eat and since on one was movin’ to get any, I came up to get some and maybe hand out some since they might take it if it’s “from” me rather than Sejanus here. Unless you don't want me or anyone else eatin'?" Rosalie Jade teased him.

"Of course I want you to eat, Rosalie Jade. Just maybe over there, where we can talk about strategies to help you during the games." Coriolanus pointed to an area where there was a rock on the side of the cage Rosalie Jade was in.

"Right, so we can talk about ways I can snap the necks of my opponents. Now that might be a bit hard, with my height an' all." Roslaie Jade joked.

"Rosalie Jade." Sejanus said her name in the way he thought a mother would when their child said something offensive to someone.

"Oh, relax, will ya'? Let me make my jokes. I know I ain't makin' it back home. At least let my mind stay on the sunny side." Rosalie Jade said as she slowly walked away towards the area Coriolanus pointed out earlier.

"Don't say th-"

"What was that? I can't hear you!" Rosalie Jade interrupted Sejanus, making a fake pouty face at him while reaching her hands in front of her, making grabby hands.

"Too far! Oh, the shame! The misery!" She laughed as she turned around and plopped herself down on a large rock.

Sejanus lightly laughed at her antics while Coriolanus scoffed.

She needs to take this seriously. This is her life we're dealing with. My life. Both of our lives. We're connected and she needs to realize that her actions affect me as well. We're in this together, unfortunately.

“Well, she’s not listening to me anymore, might as well leave the bag here in case anyone decides to take any of the food Ma made.”

No one is ever listening to you, Sejanus. And, Ma? Really. We are in public, try to have at least some dignity and decency.

“Yeah. Hey, that was a good idea. Bringing them food and all.”

Maybe if I compliment him, he’ll give me some.

“Thanks! I couldn’t just let them starve in here. You know, no one is feeding them in there. They just threw them in the cage without anything!”

Nope, he’ll just complain to me more. God, when will he get over this. It’s been more than a decade since he came from Two, he needs to get over himself and let it go. And besides, they gave them a working faucet, at least they can drink and clean themselves.

“Yes, well too bad there is nothing we can do about it.”

So let it go.

“But there is! We could get them to stop the Games somehow, then no one would have to worry about having to fight for their own life!” Sejanus exclaimed.

People looked at the boys, surprised by Sejanus’ outburst and in shock from his words. Coriolanus looked around, smiling trying to distance himself a bit farther away from the lunatic boy. He quickly looked towards Rosalie Jade and saw her laying on the rock, her dress splayed out all around her, making it seem like she was lying at the end of a rainbow.

“I’m not talking about this in public of all places, Sejanus. But you need to accept them, you can’t do anything to change them. Thank you again for giving the food to Rosalie Jade, but I have to go to her now.” Coriolanus said, attempting to walk away when he was stopped by hearing Sejanus’ words.

“Wait! Do you think maybe we could trade tributes?”

What?

Coriolanus slowly turned around to look at Sejanus, his face in complete disbelief.

“Pardon me?‘

“It’s just that, well me and her kind of hit it off and my tribute, he just…he just won’t talk to me. Please?” Sejanus rubbed the back of his neck, looking down, embarrassed by his question.

What does he mean, “hit it off?” We hit it off too, right? And why does he want to have Rosalie Jade as his tribute so much? She’s my tribute, not his. Wait, do I finally have something that Sejanus Plinth doesn’t? Or is it that he sees how well she has been doing in Capitol eyes and wants to take that from me? No. I won’t let him. She was given to me, so she is my tribute, not his. And he sure as hell isn’t taking her from me.

“I’m sorry, Sejanus, but I don’t think we can trade tributes. Besides, we already started the project. It wouldn’t benefit either of us if we were to switch tributes now.”

“Ok, sorry for asking. It’s just-nevermind. Bye Coryo.”

Don’t call me Coryo.

“Goodbye Sejanus.”

Finally walking over to Rosalie Jade, he saw that she was now sitting up and finishing the last bit of the sandwich she was given.

Dammit Sejanus.

“Sorry about not bringing any food, I didn’t get the chance”  Coriolanus said, crouching down to her.

“It’s fine! I’m just glad that I even got to meet Sejanus. He was real nice.” Rosalie Jade said, picking up her plum.

Enough about Sejanus!

Coriolanus watched as she bit into her plum, the juices dripping down her chin in slow motion.

He watched in a lustful hunger as she licked her fingers on the excess juice, wishing it was him. He was just so hungry.

“Mmm! Guys! This is real good! You should get some!” Rosalie Jade hollered about to the other tributes, encouraging them to eat.

Looking back at Coriolanus, Rosalie Jade said,”Sorry, but I wanted to make sure that they at least know they can eat the stuff without it killing them.”

“Killing them? Why would the food kill them?” Choriolanuss asked her, confused.

“Never know if one year the Games start early.” Rosalie Jade huffed.

“Well I can assure you that no food that will be given to you to eat will be poisonous or kill you.”

“Ok Capitol Boy, whatever you say.” She shook her head, laughing quietly.

So I am Capitol Boy.

Coriolanus waited until she finished eating her plum, which felt like hours, till he started to talk about his plan for her.

Setting down the plum pit, Rosalie Jade looked at him expectantly.

“Well Capitol Boy, whatcha’ got planned for me?” Rosalie Jade said, clapping her hands together.

“I need you to sing again.” Corioalnus said.

Rosalie Jade just looked at him hesitantly.

Then out of nowhere, she snapped at him.

“I don’t sing when I’m told to. I sing when I got something to say.” She crossed her arms defiantly.

“But this is the only way I can help you! You have to sing, otherwise there is nothing I can do to help you in that arena.”

Rosalie Jade just turned her head the other way so she wasn’t looking at him.

Crouching even lower to the ground, Coiolanus said, “Listen to me. They are thinking about making changes this year to the rules. If I can get some of my ideas passed, I can help you get sponsors.”

“Sponsors?” Rosalie Jade raised her eyebrow.

“People who are betting on you. They will send in money to help me buy things for you in the arena to help you survive, and hopefully, win.”

“Now I heard that there is some sort of prize for the student with the winning tribute. So are you helping me to win or to actually help me?”

Well of course I want you to win. I need the prize. But there is something about you that I need to figure out. What you reminded me of earlier this morning in the cage.

“Both.” Coriolanus shrugged.

Rosalie Jade looked him up and down before coming to the conclusion of, “Ok. I’ll listen to you. But I won’t promise I’ll sing. But maybe if you get me a guitar, then maybe I’ll think about it. Ok?”

“Amazing! Yes, great!” he said, slowly standing up.

“Maybe!” Rosalie Jade laughed.

“Ok, I’ll see you tomorrow, and this time with food!” Coriolauns yelled back to Rosalie Jade as he started to walk away.

“Got it, Mr. Snow!” Rosalie Jade teased.

Looking back at the cage, Coriolanus saw that the once overflowing bag of foods was now bone dry and even knocked over. Most of the other tributes had gotten their own sandwich, bottle, and plum. However, some didn’t because others took more than one, being greedy.

Well, it’s a good thing that Rosalie Jade got her food first. Now where the fuck am I going to find spare food and a guitar?

Just as Coriolanus was reaching the exit of the monkey exhibit, he stopped in his tracks, hearing it.

“Deep in the meadow, under a willow

A bed of grass, a soft green pillow

Lay down your head, and close your sleepy eyes

And when again they open, the sun will rise.”

Rosalie Jade had listened to him and started to sing.

“Here it's safe, here it's warm

Here the daisies guard you from every harm

Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true

Here is the place where I love you.”

He started to walk back into the exhibit, but was stopped by a Peacekeeper.

“Deep in the meadow, hidden far away

A cloak of leaves, a moonbеam ray

Forget your woes and let your troublеs lay

And when again it's morning, they'll wash away.”

“Sorry kid, closing time. No more visits.” The Peacekeeper said to Coriolauns.

“But it’s still bright out and I need to see to my tribute.” Coriolanus answered back to the tribute.

“No kid. You gotta go home. Come back tomorrow. Sorry.” The Peacekeeper said with finality, turning Coriolanus around and pushing him closer to the exit.

“Here it's safe, here it's warm

Here the daisies guard you from every harm

Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true

Here is the place where I love you

Where I love you.”

Rosalie Jade had finished her little song and Coirolanus didn’t even get to see her sing because of the incompetent Peacekeeper.

So she can listen. Good, obedient girl.

The next day, Coriolanus was sitting down in the Academy lunchroom trying to figure out how to get food for his tribute. He had already asked Persephone Price if she had an old guitar laying around, remembering how before the Dark Days she would take lessons for it was all she could talk about.

Before the Dark Days. How funny. How before the Dark Days, Persephone was an aspiring “musician.” How she wasn’t a cannibal.

Coriolanus Snow had many bad memories from the Dark Days, but the worst one would always be when he witnessed his neighbor, Nero Price, Persephone’s father, cut off the leg of a maid to eat.

That was the day when Coriolanus had truly witnessed humanity being stripped, even from the “rich.” How anyone would do anything to survive.

Just thinking about it gave Coriolanus a slight chill. Persephone most likely didn’t even know that she became a cannibal that day. Most likely thought it was some sort of meat mixture of rat, dog, and/or cat. But that didn’t matter to Coriolanus. Persephone Price and her family were cannibals, even if most of them didn’t know.

However, most know that while Persephone Price is a very kind person, she can be very competitive and geedy. So when she told Coriolanus, “Of course! I’ll have to look for it though. It might be buried somewhere deep in my attic,” Coirolanus knew that she would not look for the guitar one bit.

Of course she wouldn’t. She has her own tribute to try and win with. Which is why after he talked with her, he went to Pluribus Bell.

Pluribus was a big black market dealer and had helped Coriolanus and his family during the Dark Days. Coirolanus had always made sure to pay him back either with what little money Tigris made or with the gossip of what was happening in the Capitol and Academy that Pluribus couldn’t hear or see that Coriolanus had a front row seat too. But he always paid him back. Coriolanus hated owing anybody anything.

So when Pluribus said, “I think I should have one in the back. It’s for her, though, huh? Your tribute? Keep it for her. Give it to her and let her have it, as a final gift sort of thing. She would sound so pretty with it with her voice. Let your little songbird have this guitar as a gift from me, no charge, no debt,” Coriolanus was both grateful and annoyed. He got what he needed, but now owed, or at least felt like he owed Pluribus something.

But yet, he took the offer and intended on going back to him tonight to get the guitar for his tribute’s interview on Sunday.

So here he sat, thinking of a way he could get food to Rosalie Jade.

I could take it out of the cafeteria, but that’s not allowed and I’m sure if Highbottom saw me do that, he’d bust my ass and give me another stupid fucking dermit. I could maybe bring something from home? Oh, who am I kidding. The only thing we have at home is the disgusting cabbage soup and bringing that into a public setting would give away the very thing I’ve been hiding for years. How poor we are.

Deep in thought, thinking through his options, Coriolanus didn’t even realize that Sejanus had made his way over towards him. Only when he slammed his tray down, earning many looks of disgust from the other students, did Coriolanus even realize he was there.

What does the District mutt want now?

“Quite the ideas you had Coryo.” Sejanus said, looking Corilanus dead in the eye.

That’s what. Of course it is.

“Yes, thank you. I thought it would benefit Rosalie Jade if I was able to send her food or water in the arena.” Coriolanus answered him, trying to make it seem like all of this was to help Rosalie Jade and not himself.

“Yeah.” Sejanus muttered, looking down annoyed.

Deciding that this was the best time to ask, Coriolanus asked, “What were you and Rosalie Jade talking about before I got to the monkey exposure yesterday.”

This made Sejanus look up fast and in turn, make Coriolanus curious.

“Oh, just family stuff. Both her and mine.” Sejanus said after hesitating for a minute, looking around as if it was safe to talk.

“Ok, but what did you mean by ‘I used to know him?’ Who were you talking about?”  Coiolanus asked right after Sejanus finished talking.

Looking down at his lap, Sejanus took a deep breath. “My tribute, Marcus, I used to know him. I went to school with him back in Two.” Sejnaus looked up.

Ohhh. But you moved here when you were so young, how could you have made such an “unforgettable” friend that a decade later, you still remember?

“My father probably bought him to my tribute to remind me where I am, what my place is, and well, you get the jist.” Sejanus started to rant.

I get the jist. I always do. Everyone does. You don’t shut the fuck up about it.

Trying to calm him down before he goes into full on protester mode, Coriolanus said, “Well it’s not your fault that your father bought him for you. You’re not to blame.”

“I'm so blameless, I'm choking on it.” Sejanus rebuttal bitterly.

Deciding that the risk of Highbottom giving him another dermit is better than having Sejanus Plinth drone on and on about how life’s not fair, Coriolanus wrapped his sandwich in his unused napkin and stuffed it into his pants pocket.

“I should go to see Rosalie Jade, he might be hungry.” Coriolanus stood up, collecting his belongings.

"Quite the rebel you are taking food for her." Sejanus told Coriolanus, looking him up and down.

"Yeah, I'm bad news." Corioalnus answered, getting out of his chair.

“Tell her I said ‘hi!’ ” Sejanus yelled to Coriolanus as he started to walk away.

“Ok!” Coriolanus answered back.

No.

Walking up the cage, Coriolanus saw that Rosalie Jade was still near the large rock. Except this time, instead of being on it alone, she was resting beside it with her eyes closed, leaning her head on Jessup.

Why must he always be touching her?

Coriolanus looked closer at the scene in front of him, realizing that not only was she resting her head on him, no. She was holding his hand.

What. The. Fuck.

Upping his pace to stop the comforting affectionate physical gesture, Coriolanus almost missed his fellow classmate, Arachne Crane, teasing her tribute with food. He saw the desperation in the tribute's eyes and knew from experience that she was experiencing horrific stomach pain from the lack of food.

Coriolanus quickly stopped, “Arachne, maybe you should just give her the bread. She most likely hasn’t eaten in days, maybe even a week depending on which District she came from.”

Arachne just looked Coriolanus up and down. “Who are you now, Sejanus? Why do you even care, Coriolanus?” Arachne scoffed, buttering a piece of bread.

“Besides, if she really wanted it, she would try a little bit harder. Wouldn’t you, girl?” Arachne mocked the girl, teasingly waving the buttered bread in front of her face.

Coriolanus just scoffed, “I am most definitely not turning into Sejanus. I am merely just trying to help you.”

“Yeah, well why don’t you just go over and help you little songbird? She looks like she needs your help real bad, oh wait! No she doesn’t! She seems just fine eating Plinth’s food and resting her eyes with her tribute. Maybe you’re the one who needs her help. Cause from the looks of it, she sure as hell doesn’t need you.” Arachne snapped at him.

Coriolanus' nostrils were flaring and his face was red from embarrassment and anger.

Of course she needs me! I’m her mentor for fuck’s sake! She’s only little and she needs protection. She needs to be protected by someone. And that sure as hell isn’t Jessup. It’s me. She needs me.

Trying to keep his composure and not blow up in Arachne’s dumb fucking face, Coriolanus simpley said, “I suppose then your tribute doesn’t need you either. It’s not like you're doing anything to help her, only yourself.”

Then, he slowly bent down to Arachne’s ear, whispering, “I bet you just want the Plinth Prize for yourself, you greedy little pig.” With that, Coriolanus stood up right, turned around, and started walking to his tribute before Arachne could even comprehend in her dumb little brain what he had just said.

Coriolanus knew he shouldn’t have said that, but he just couldn’t help it. He always had to get the last word.

Finally making his way over to Rosalie Jade and Jessup, he saw that she had opened her eyes and she smiled at him when she realized that he was coming her way. Getting up, she brushed her dress down and pushed her hair behind her back. Jessup looked up at her with confusion at her sudden movement, but when he saw Coriolanus, he raised his eyebrows up in a look of recognition. Waiting for her to walk over to him, he saw Jessup getting up too, following Rosalie Jade like a lost puppy.

I don’t remember being your mentor, why the fuck are you coming over to me? She doesn’t need you to “protect” her, that’s why I’m here.

“Mr. Snow.” Rosalie Jade pulled him from his thoughts, tipping her imaginary hat to him.

This got a genuine laugh out of him. Even in the midst of her inevitable death, she still stands here, joking around.

“Miss. Baird.” Coriolanus said back, pulling the sandwich out of his pocket, presenting it to her as if it were a bouquet of roses.

Giggling, Rosalie Jade took the sandwich, joking, “My! How pretty! Must taste even better than it looks.”

It better, this was supposed to be my lunch.

Turning around to Jessup, she split the sandwich into two, urging to give him the other half.

“Here,” she said, “eat up.”

Jessup shook his head. “No, you eat it, Rosie Jay, you need it. ‘Sides, I’m not hungry.” Jessup pushed his hands out to deny the food.

Rosie Jay?

“You think I don’t hear your stomach growling, Jessup Diggs.” Rosalie Jade said, putting her one hand on her tiny waist.

“Eat it, please. For me?” She said, giving him puppy dog eyes.

“Fine. Only for you though.” Jessup muttered, taking half of the sandwich and walking away to sit behind the rock.

Through the whole conversation, Coriolanus’ face had the same look the whole time. Disgust.

He hated how close Jessup was getting to his tribute. How he had taken on a “brotherly” role of some sort. No. That was Corioanus’ job. Well, to get her to win, and inturn, him, was his job. Taking on a brotherly role couldn’t hurt anyone.

“You ok?” Rosalie Jade noticed the look on Coriolanus’ face and thought that something was wrong.

“Yes, I am fine. I just-I have never heard anyone call you Rosie Jay before.” Coriolanus answered.

“Ohh, yeah. Well, only my close friends and family call me that. Some just call me Rosie or just Rosalie. My sister hates when people do, says it takes away my roots.” Rosalie Jade said, plopping herself down on the ground of the cage.

So she does consider Jessup like her brother. Well, we can’t have that now can we.

"Well, should I have a nickname for you? I feel as though we've become good freinds."

Rosalie Jade looked at him with her eyebrows raised. Then, after a bit of silence, she smiled saying, "Well only if I get to call you one too!"

Coriolanus smiled, "You can call me Coryo. And what do you think about Little Dove as a nickname for you?"

Rosalie Jade smiled back at him, "I think that if you like it, then I do too, Coryo." She finished, looking at the sandwich to realize it was yet again a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. She muttered a little 'yes' as she did an air pump to herself.

Coryo. It rolled off her tongue so easily and, God, did it sound good.

“My sister would like you.” She said randomly, smiling up at him, patting the ground in front of her on the outside of the cage.

“Really?” Coriolanus asked, looking around the crowd before sitting down on the cold, slightly damp concrete ground.

“I think so.” Rosalie Jade said, tearing a piece off of her his sandwich to eat.

Coriolanus eyed the sandwich. He was so hungry today. He didn’t get to have the disgusting cabbage soup this morning, having to meet with Plurbis early in the morning to get Rosalie Jade’s guitar. And missing not one, but two meals today was most definitely not helping his infinite hunger. But, ohh! All he wanted to do right now was rip the sandwich right out of Rosalie Jade’s hands and eat it himself. However, even as he imagined the sandwich, he knew that what was left wouldn't be enough for him. No, he would need the whole sandwich. He would grab Rosalie Jade’s cute little baby face and suck the food out of her mouth. He didn’t care if it was bad manners or obscene, he needed to feed his hunger.

Unfortunately for Coriolanus, him imagining eating food did not help his stomach, but rather upset it, making it growl out. Coriolanus turned beet red and prayed that Rosalie Jade hadn’t heard his stomach.

But she had.  She had also seen him eyeing her food today and yesterday. So, being the kind person she was she insisted that he have some.

“Here, have some.” She said, ripping her half of the sandwich into another half.

“No, it’s ok. You need to build your strength up.” Coriolanus said back.

“Oh yeah, so I can strangle the others while they sleep. I don’t think that's going to happen.” Rosalie Jade snapped at him.

“Besides, I need my mentor to be strong and healthy to take care of me.” Rosalie Jade said, grabbing the sandwich and putting it into his hand so he couldn’t refuse.

Coriolanus just nodded, wanting to ignore the spark he felt everytime she would touch him.

Rosalie Jade smiled as he bit into the sandwich, “Now it’s like a picnic!”

Coriolanus just gave her a smile.

“I thought that people in the Capitol always had somethin’ to eat. I guess never judge a book by its cover.” Rosalie Jade whispered to him, knowing that he wouldn’t want everyone around him to hear that he wasn’t well off.

“Yeah. You know, one time, I ate a tube of paste just to stop the pains in my stomach.” Coriolanus said, gesturing to his stomach.

He didn’t know why he was telling you this. This was personal, private information. Something that only him and him only will know, and now, Rosalie Jade. But, maybe they were sister-brother bonding?

“Yeah? And how’d it taste?” Rosalie Jade asked, smiling at.

“...Pasty.” He said.

To his response, Rosalie Jade laughed, causing Coriolanus to laugh as well.

“Descriptive.” Rosalie Jade joked.

“What can I say, I have a way with words.” Coirolanus joked back.

Rosalie Jade just looked away, softly laughing. But she stopped abruptly when she saw another young tribute.

“You see her there?” she said, pointing to a young girl.

“Yeah.” Coriolanus responded, subtly bringing her hand down. It was rude to point and big brothers have to teach their little sisters the manners and rules of the world.

“She’s only young, like me. A bit older, but still young. She doesn't deserve to be here, none of em’ do.”

“Neither do you, Rosalie Jade.” Coriolanus said, taking her hand in his.

That feels nice.

Rosalie Jade just looked away when he said that, her eyes catching onto Arachne, who was still taunting her tribute, this time with the cheese.

Rosalie Jade scowled at her, “Hunger is a very powerful weapon. Your friend over there seems to know it too.” Rosalie Jade said bitterly.

“She’s not my friend, she is poison with a pretty smile.” Coriolanus responded, just as bitterly as Rosalie Jade. What? He was still pissed off from what had happened earlier.

Arachne looked over at them, feeling eyes on her. She looked Coriolanus right in the eye and mouthed the words, ‘Needy Bitch.’

Shit. How does she know?! Fuck! She probably overheard Rosalie Jade and I. Dammit! With her big mouth, the whole Capitol will know before morning, especially since I had insulted her earlier. FUCK!

“I like your rose. Where do you keep getting them from?” Rosalie Jade said, reaching out to touch the rose.

“What-oh from my Grandma’am’s rooftop garden.” Coriolanus answered. He needed to keep his cool if he was going to figure out how to deal with Arachne.

“Rooftop garden?” Rosalie Jade questioned.

“Just a garden on a roof.” He answered.

“Ohh. Well, is there anyone else in your family other than your grandma’am? You know about my sister and Covery, I wanna know about you.” Rosalie Jade asked.

“Yeah, there’s my cousin Tigris. She is one of the sweetest people I know. I-uh, I was supposed to have a little sister, but-umm, she and my mother died in childbirth. My dad died out in District 12.” Coriolanus said, looking down.

He hated talking about his family, especially his mother. She was the only person he felt loved him during the Dark Days. Of course Tigris did, but it was a different type of feeling of love coming from your parents.

Rosalie Jade reached out for his hand, and gently dubbed her thumbs over his knuckles, “So you’re an orphan, just like me.”

Coriolanus looked up and just as he was going to say something, he saw Arachne tribute sneakily take the butter knife laying next to the bread. Arachne didn't realize as she was yet again taunting her tribute with water this time.

Seeing what her tribute was going to do, Coriolanus called out to Arachne.

"Arachne! Watch ou-" Coriolanus was cut off by a high-pitched scream.

He was too late.

The tribute had taken the butter knife and stabbed it into Arachne's neck. She was flailing around on the ground, hands over the wound on her neck as she bled out.

Over her screams, Coriolanus couldn't just make out the sound of someone throwing up behind him.

Rosalie Jade!

She was violently vomiting from witnessing the murder.

Well there goes the food she just ate. Shit, is this how she'll react in the arena? We'll have to work on that.

Turning back towards Arachne, Coriolanus saw the cameras from earlier short little interviews with the other tributes. He knew that if they were still recording and they just saw him standing there as if he didn't care, it would not help his cause at all. Not to mention, the whole crowd of people who came to visit the tributes were watching him.

He knew he had to help Arachne.

Rushing over to her side, he lifted her head onto his lap, pushing down onto the wound, trying to stop the blood.

The blood. There was so much blood. It reminded him of the day his mother died. How she wouldn't stop bleeding and he couldn't do anything to help her.

Shit. This was a bad idea.

Arachne was shaking her head from side to side, not being able to talk. He knew what she was saying though. 'I don't want to die.'

"It's ok. I got you." He whispered to her.

"Help! Somebody, please! Help!" Coriolanus started to shout out. And just when he thought that a Peacekeeper was coming to help her, he pulled out his gun and started shooting at the tribute that had stabbed Arachne.

He quickly covered his head, getting blood on his ears and face. He looked up slightly to make sure that Rosalie Jade was safe and didn't get shot. She had been dragged over by a Peacekeeper from where she threw up, to against the wall with all the other tributes, their faces to the wall and backs to the Peacekeepers and their guns.

"Nobody move!" One shouted.

Looking back down at Arachne, almost forgetting she was there and only remembering when he felt her move slightly, he saw that she had moved her hands back to her neck, since Coriolanus had taken his off to cover his ears.

As he went to put his over hers to add more pressure, he saw a tear roll down her face and the dull light in her eyes go dim. Her hands had let go of her neck as they slumped down to her side.

Arachne Crane was dead.

Just then , Peacekeepers came up to Coriolanus and lifted him up, dragging him away from her lifeless body.

Maybe Rosalie Jade was right. You'll never know if the games will start early.

“This is it. This is how it starts!” Grandma’am shrieked.

Since Coriolanus had gotten home, Grandma’am had not let go of his hand, afraid that yet another loved one of hers would be taken from her. Both Tigris and Coiolanus had tried to calm her down, but nothing would work.

“Grandma’am, please calm down. Everything is alright, I didn’t get hurt. I am right here.” Coriolanus squeezed her hand, trying to comfort and calm her down.

“Oh, you’re just lucky that songbird of yours didn’t peck your eyes out!” Grandma’am said bitterly.

“She would never do that Grandma’am. She’s just a girl. Now why don’t we get you to bed?” Tigris said, trying to usher Grandma'am to her room, but she didn’t budge.

“That beast hasn’t been a girl in a long time.” Grandma’am said matter of factly.

Coriolanus, getting annoyed at how Grandma’am was talking about his tribute, said, “Tigris is right, Grandma’am. Rosalie Jade is different. She wouldn’t hurt a fly.”

Grandma’am just looked at him and sighed, then started to get up with the help of Tigris.

“Just find a way to win, Coriolanus. Use her to win for all I care. Just make sure you use her before she uses you and you end up dead in the trees of 12 like your father.” With that, she walked away towards her room with Tigris helping her.

Coriolanus reflected on this monstrosity of a day in the silence brought from Tigris and Grandma’am leaving.

He looked back on his little chat with Sejanus. He needs to separate himself from him before his rebellious ideas bring him and Coriolanus down. He needs to get Rosalie Jade more food since she threw it all up because of Arachne.

Arachne. She’s dead.

It took him some time to process what that really meant. She was dead, she wasn’t coming back, neither were his secrets that she knew about.

Thinking about it now, maybe it was a good thing she died? I mean, how else would she keep my secret. Bribery, with what money, sexual favors? Most likely, she is, sorry, was quite the whore.

Yes, the unfortunate death of Arachne Crane was a good thing. It was the only way he wouldn’t have told Coriolanus’ secrets without him losing his dignity. Besides, it’s not like Coriolanus killed her. No, it was her own tribute.

It was the only way.

“Today we remember Arachne Crane whose life was taken before her time.” Dr. Gual states behind the podium standing on the stage.

The Academy had decided to hold a huge funeral service for Arachne two days after her death, where her family, friends, and all the people of the Capitol were in attendance. 

Coriolanus thought that all of it was over the top for someone as insignificant as Arachne, and it had even taken time away from seeing Rosalie Jade, but he put on his face of sorrow as he walked to the stage to give his “sorrows.” For Ararchne’s parents had asked for him to sing the Gem of Panem anthem in memorial of Arachne since he had tried to help her.

Taking a deep breath, he started.

“Gem of Panem

Mighty city

Through the ages you shine anew.”

His ribs hurt from the “training” his Grandma’am gave him to make sure that he said each lyric correctly.

“We humbly kneel

To your ideal

And pledge our love to you!”

As Coriolanus had finished the verse, he saw something, a car he thought, move in the distance, towards where the funeral was taking place.

“Gem of Panem

Heart of Justice

Wisdom crowns your marble brow.”

Coriolanus could see it coming closer and he soon realized what it was.

Holy shit.

“You give us light

You reunite

To you we make our vow.”

A truck, holding all of the tributes, was coming straight to the funeral service and hanging at the top of a crane, iconically, was the dead tribute who had killed Arachne.

“Gem of Panem

Seat of power

Strength in peacetime, shield in strife.”

Coriolanus tried not to mess up as he felt a lump form in his throat. He couldn’t believe that this was happening. He watched the truck as it turned, right as he started the last verse, showing off all the tributes and the dead one to the public.

“Protect our land

With armored hand

Our Capitol

Our life.”

He heard cries come from the crowd, either from his singing or from young kids seeing the dead tribute hanging from the crane. As the truck passed by him, he saw his Little Dove, with her head down, trying to comfort Wovey, who was crying. He saw that all of the tribute's hands were cuffed again.

Why is she comforting someone older than her? She should be the one getting comforted.

But his thoughts were interrupted by seeing the truck leave and the Peacekeepers enter, carrying Arachne’s casket on their shoulders.

So dramatic, even in death.

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