#which is dead rn for exams

[aroacesafeplaceforall]

Sometimes I answer asks other times they’re backed up for 3 months and I’m so sorry

[caluupin]

I'm finally AR60,, nice

[swimmingelectron]

I like to think neither of them died.Not just in the denial of the death of my favourite characters way, but technically. Sirius is beyond the veil. Regulus is now an inferi. They are both not of this world but hypothetically not dead either. Kinda like soul Voldemort?

Like Regulus is still in that cave, as one of the hands that pulls someone else in, his body still works, it's just eternally in pain, and his mind is gone. Sirius's entire body is beyond the veil, he cannot be dead because his body is still there, but it'snot present.

They are not quite dead, but dead regardless.

Sirius never thought he would die after regulus. He always thought that because he’s older he wouldn’t have to understand the pain of regulus death. He always felt guilty by this fact that one day he’d die and regulus would understand. Sirius never realized it was possible regulus could die before him until 1979 and he get a letter from his mom, the last letter he’ll ever get from her that only held three words,

Regulus is dead.

[mixelation]

wait here's a different way the end of the chunin exams in iwa could go

team 4 still does the same stuff: iwa grabs kushina, kushina yeets tori away. tori runs off to get itachi and deidara; the team then splits up to grab both kushina and ibiki. rn i'm thinking tori-deidara go for ibiki. tori wants to go to kushina but itachi is like "no, you're the ONLY one who can do the transportation jutsu for our mission" so the compromise is he goes after kushina. deidara ends up with tori because she needs extra muscle more, even though deidara would be better at FINDING kushina bc he knows iwa better. instead he just sort of points itachi in a direction.

tori by herself can do the transportation jutsu but it will be rougher when executed solo. she deems ibiki's physical condition too poor to risk it. they get him on a bird and fly out.

okay, so, my original idea was itachi finds a half-conscious kushina and gets her out of the village on foot. this is an insane feat he accomplishes with "massive genjutsu means no one notices for a hot second" no jutsu. iwa eventually realizes they've lost their very impotant hostage, which means they are screwed. they decide to blow up the problem to hide evidence (this will look BAD for them but no evidence means they can claim team 4 started it, which is less bad PR than what they actually did getting out). team 4 gets a fight, kushina recovers quickly enough itachi is like what the fuck, ma'am, and they flee into the night safe and sound.

i think i will keep this as ""canon"" bc it lets team 4 have thier moments. but here's a fun little alt au ending feat. minato:

okay, so, in the minato one shot we see kushina summon chains that aren't attached to her body. so i was thinking it'd be cute if minato had a necklace or bracelet made from one of her chains. it's also a ~kushina's health~ indicator: the chain with break/evaporate if she runs low on chakra (which would ONLY happen in a dire situation), or she can undo it herself if she needs to summon him. remember, her jinchuriki seal has a hiraishin integrated into it, so minato can go to her whenever he wants. minato spends a lot of time fiddle with his chain and sighing wistfully when she's out of the village.

then one day, the chain breaks. minato doesn't even think about it; he's by her side 0.2 seconds later. and then.... fuck it i just wrote it lol

****

Kushina was slumped over Uchiha Itachi’s shoulders. Itachi retaliated the second he felt a presence behind him. Minato dispelled all three layers of the genjutsu, knocked the short sword out of his hand, picked up his wife, and shoved Itachi away.  

His goal was to get Itachi away from him for long enough to orient himself. If he’d bothered to watch him, he’d get to watch Itachi’s reaction to being pushed around like a child: confusion mixed with a little bit of terror.

Sagged over in his arms, Kushina’s eyes were unfocused and her face was clammy with a cold sweat. He’d never seen her like this before. 

“M’nato?” she slurred, and Minato felt a wave of relief at the sound of her voice. “Feel like shit.”

If she was talking, she was going to be okay. Minato shifted her, pulling her into a princess carry. Kushina’s head rolled against his chest, and Minato felt a stab of worry. Kushina was a live, but what the fuck had they done to her?

“Hokage-sama?” Itachi asked, voice wary. He had not moved to retrieve his sword. He didn’t need it; all five Iwa-nin in the room were already dead. Minato must have crashed his rescue attempt. 

“You have permission to approach,” Minato told him. “What happened?”

Itachi gave him the succintest of summaries: Kushina and Tori had been intercepted while attempting to retrieve Morino Ibiki. Kushina had gotten Tori out, and Tori had gone for back-up. Itachi had then found Kushina here, in an underground detention facility. Tori reported Kushina as having chakra-poisoning. It was unclear if Iwa suspected them of their own betrayal of their agreement, or if their attack had unrelated motives. Minato thought the latter: there was only one known chakra toxin that could poison someone enough to take out someone like Kushina, and it was extremely difficult to synthesize. This had been planned. 

Minato felt a flash of rage. All that posturing about how he was the dangerous one, how he was the one who might unjustly destroy Iwa’s security, and this is what they did? 

“Okay,” Minato said, very carefully keeping his voice level. “I’ll handle it.”

“Sir?” Itachi replied. “Handle which part?”

“Hold this,” Minato said, and handed him a kunai. 

Minato teleported Kushina back to Konoha and left her with a medic. “Fuck ‘em up, dawling,” she told him, patting a random part of his face. Then he stopped briefly at home to grab weapons. Then, approximately three minutes after he’d left him, he went back to Itachi. 

Itachi, for once in his life, seemed to be at a loss for words. 

“Do you know how to get out of here?” Minato asked. 

Itachi led him down a hallway, up some stairs, and then down another hallway, passing zoned out Iwa-nin after Iwa-nin staring at the walls or passed out on the floor in the wake of Itachi’s genjutsu. Minato paused a couple times to draw Hiraishin markers, just in case. Itachi waited for him without comment. 

“Do you know which way the Tsuchikage’s office is?” Minato asked once they were on the ground floor and he could see sunlight through a window. “I’d like to talk to him.”

“I believe it’s towards the mountains,” Itachi said, “although he might be overseeing events related to the exam.”

Minato hummed.

“What would you like me to do?” Itachi asked when they reached the front doors of the building.

“Go find your team, please,” Minato told him. “Keep that kunai on you.”

Minato tossed a kunai out the door, and then he was off. 

Iwa was prettier than Minato thought it would be. Red mountains towered above them, and the sky felt closer and more open than it did anywhere in Fire Country. Most of the buildings were grand old things, tall and narrow and brushing up against each other with pointed roofs. The roofs were steep; not convenient for ninja travel. The ninja here all went underground when they wanted to be quick and avoid civilians. 

The narrow streets were crowded, people all herded together as they spilled out of the stadium. This didn’t particularly bother Minato; most of them were civilians who didn’t even notice him pass by, one kunai throw after the other. 

The administration building, when he found it, was carved into the mountainside. This was a really impressive use of earth ninjutsu, he would admit. 

There was a sign that said the building was closed to the public today, due to the chunin exams. Minato painted another hiraishin marker under it. 

Lucky me, he thought as his hand moved in quick, practiced strokes. He usually tried very hard not to kill civilians. 

No one expected him, despite the audacity of kidnapping his wife. 

“Excuse me,” he said to the kunoichi at the front desk. “Where is the Tsuchikage’s office?”

“He’s not taking visitors today,” she started, voice sharp and annoyed. Her eyes met his. Confusion flashed across her face. Minato smiled, charming. Confusion drained into horror. 

“That’s a shame,” Minato replied, and then she was dead. 

The building was fully staffed. Chunin exams took a lot of extra hours from admin behind the scenes, and ninja missions never stopped. Minato picked people off, one by one, as he moved through the building. The Kage’s office was usually at the top, right? They didn’t have intel on Iwa, but that’s where everyone else’s were… 

He was quick enough no one had realized what was happening and mounted a counter until he was on floor six. He wasn’t really sure if it was people trying to leave or fight back, but either way they all ended up dead. The entire hallway was sticky with blood, his sandals making that annoying squelching noise as he walked. 

I guess this is why no one ever invites me to their villages, Minato thought. Hiruzen had visited both Suna and Kiri for Chunin Exams. Minato always got a polite note suggesting he send a representative. He was kind of jealous, actually. Minato liked travel and meeting new people. All they had to do was not kidnap his wife and he’d be happy to play nice and not leave hiraishin markers places. 

Oonoki was seated behind his desk, a wall of Iwa ANBU in front of him. Cute. Minato dispatched them in the span of an inhale of breath.

“Hi,” Minato said, standing in front of Oonoki’s desk. “I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Namikaze Minato, Hokage of Konoha.”

To his credit, Oonoki did not cower. He did not bother with a useless attack. He met Minato’s eyes, gaze steely. 

“Killing me would be an act of war,” Oonoki said grimly. 

Minato raised his eyebrows. “Sure,” he agreed. He leaned forward, letting just a little bit of killing intent out to punctuate his words. ”And so would attacking and kidnapping my wife.”

Oonoki stayed silent. Minato reeled himself back in. 

“Here’s what we’re going to do,” Minato said, uncapping another bottle of ink. He went to work drawing a Hiraishin marker on the Tsuchikage’s desk. “I am going to go get my shinobi. I’m going to kill whoever I want along the way. Then I will leave, and we won’t have to talk about this ever again.”

Minato leaned forward, grasping Oonoki’s chin in his hand. It was scratchy with the scraggly hairs of an old man’s thinning beard. Oonoki did nothing to resist him tilting his head back, pride keeping his gaze hard. 

“And you,” Minato continued, pressing his brush to the man’s forehead to draw one last marker, “will do nothing. No declaration of war. No retaliation on Konoha or Fire Country. Got it?”

He pulled his hand back, letting Oonki go. He pocketed the brush. The wet ink of the hiraishin marker glimmered on the old man’s face, a new permanent fixture to his skin. 

“Do you understand?” Minato reiterated. “Say it.”

There was a long silence, stretching on and on between them. Minato kept eye contact, smile pleasant. 

“I understand,” Oonoki said. 

“Excellent,” MInato replied. “Glad we’re on the same page.”

He teleported to the marker he’d given Itachi. 

Team 4 was currently in Ibiki’s holding cell, having an argument. There was an incredible amount of blood everywhere, considering there was only one dead Iwa-nin in there with them. Ibiki himself was sat against the wall, emaciated with two black eyes. New scars decorated his scalp. He watched Team 4 with what was either exhaustion or intense judgment. Horrific evidence of torture aside, his expression perked up when he noticed Minato. 

“No, I can’t do the jutsu solo if you want him to not get brain damage,” Tori was saying, jabbing her finger aggressively into Itachi’s chest. “Either summon the Hokage back or–”

“Hey,” Minato interrupted, and Tori basically jumped out of her skin. 

“Jesus FUCK–”

“I’ll take him back,” Minato announced, and ninety seconds later, Ibiki was in his prepared hospital room and Minato was back in the holding cell. 

“Um,” Tori said. 

“What the fuck?” Deidara said. 

“Oh wow,” Minato said, having noticed the blood splattered on one wall had been painted into words: Can you find them all? with a hiraishin marker below. “Tori, this is mean.”

Funny. But mean. 

The look Tori gave him was vaguely affronted. 

“What’s our exit plan?” Itachi asked. “Are we also teleporting?”

Minato spun a kunai around his finger casually. “I can take you home first,” he said. “But thought I’d walk.”

[gxhaode]

To all the boys I’ve loved before

Pairing: Student!ChoiYeonjunxstudent!femreaderxchildhoodbestfriend!ChoiBeomgyu

Summary: Your romantic life was practically non-existent, only having crushed on a handful of guys which never went anywhere. All of this took a turn after Yunjin, your best friend, decided to mail your crushes the letters that you wrote for them during your crushing phases. What happens when one of the letters ends up at Choi Beomgyu door, your best friend since diapers or worse, your ex best friend's boyfriends, Choi Yeonjun? Will Yunjins tactic finally get you to find love or will it just lead to disaster?

Genre: Highschool au, social media au, love triangle, light angst, fluff, crack

Warnings: swearing(this is all I can think for now but if theres anything else that you notice and think should be a warning do let me know:) )

Features: Txt, lesserafim, aespa,enhypen

Start: 10th March 2023

End: 12th July 2023

Status: Completed

A/N: I am currently in my last year of school before I start university so A LOTTT of exams are coming up so my posting days might be a bit off due to that:’) but I’ll try my best to be organized and have everything ready for u guys in time:)

Taglist:OPEN

Profiles:

Moodboards:

Y/n, Yeonjun, Beomgyu

Socials:

y/n’s bullies | skateboardclub | thechadsquad

Chapters:

Monologue

Chapter 1: I hate it here

Chapter 2: im single BY CHOICE

Chapter 3: WHOS WE💀‼️

Chapter 4: this bouta be good🍿

Chapter 5: I AM A COWARD.

Chapter 6: Message from Unknown

Chapter 7: Jesus’s doorstep

Chapter 8: DO IT

Chapter 9: he dead.

Chapter 10: Soobin the human shield🤩🛡️

Chapter 11: did that girl just faint? (Written)

Chapter 12: Man its only Tuesday

Chapter 13: Yuny/n era?🤭💗💗

Chapter 14: hes lost it😭😭

Chapter 15: oNe EyE oPen wHen YoUre SleEpinGggg

Chapter 16: r u gasslighting me rn?😀

Chapter 17: Hunting y/n for sports😍(Written)

Chapter 18: Are you mental?

Chapter 19: Get that dick y/n😩

Chapter 20: the contract

Chapter 21: just go knock?💀

Chapter 22: oh.

Chapter 23: text y/n

Chapter 24: its on

Chapter 25: you’re cute♡

Chapter 26: rebound shit😭

Chapter 27: oh bby…

Chapter 28: The scrunchie (written)

Chapter 29: no💞

Chapter 30: YOU JEALOUS BROTHA(Smau +written)

Chapter 31: its always Soobin(Smau + Written)

Chapter 32: im fine wdym

Chapter 33: wtf is going on😭

Chapter 34: Operation SS

Chapter 35: SS Shananigans

Chapter 36: Toxic Relationships(Written)

Chapter 37: Ill be here for you(Written)

Chapter 38: OH IM WORRYING

Chapter 39: Ski trip day🥳🏔️

Chapter 40: me and you<3(written+smau)

Chapter 41: never🤙🏻

Chapter 42: haters gonna hate.

Chapter 43: guys?😀

Chapter 44: Jacuzzi(Smau + Written)

Chapter 45: we need to talk (Written)

Chapter 46: preach🗣️

Chapter 47: no homo

Chapter 48: pull a y/n

Chapter 49:Endgame

Taglist: @ghostfacefricker6969 @yumilovesloona @il0vebeomgyu @curly-fr13s @blueishwoodz @kaewonie @uno7 @hyu-kas @daisyhwa @captivq @s00buwu @lixie-phoria

[yuriyuruandyuraart]

Hi? Gosh how do I even start with this :'D

I know it's been ages since I've last popped up on here. I've been debating when to post this for a while, but I kept adding to my draft more and more and now it's the end of JULY omgg I felt so guilty disappearing with zero updates but then thought my birthday would be the best day to finally address this considering it'll feel less random? idk but Ive always celebrated my bday with you guys and I'd feel so bad answering your kind asks without me at least explaining why I was gone for months.

Truth be told, I was dealing with a lot of stuff irl. health issues and sudden declining grades that left me stumped and drained for months now- along with technical issues like having to replace some parts of my computer that took a while for me to find to even draw digitally, which I didn't have the time for anyway with how tired and weary I felt every day.

I'm frankly shaken up by a lot of shit rn and I don't know how to be active online with this burden on my chest- Especially as it's been a while since I've even looked at utmv related content and my motivation dwindled. I swear I'd hype myself up to post or reblog something- but I'd see just how much I've missed or the overwhelming amount of posts I'd need to go through and I'd feel so swamped with exhaustion and most importantly guilt, for not clearing the air up sooner to reassure you guys that I'm, y'know, alive, and not dead in a ditch somewhere. And I'd procrastinate cause typing it all out is hard and I'd give up halfway every time and it's just not fair to you all!

I thought I was handling it well when I started going out and socializing more, instead of staying cooped up at home on my computer all day. and in the first draft of this post I made months ago I was gonna detail some of the fun plans I had, for my life and for this blog :D but relaxing my strict study schedule and letting go a bit of my tight routine, thinking it was better than wringing myself dry to keep it up, backfired horribly, to say the least.

I know right?? so silly to be hung up on stupid shit like studies of all things! but this is a very important thing for me considering my career plans and the competitivity encouraged by everyone I'm surrounded by, the pressure of keeping up adding to my already stressful days. I had to fix myself up first and I couldn't handle the strain nor interact with people and thinking of jobs and exams sapped my energy so much it's frankly embarrassing. writing this feels so cheesy too and it frustrates me to know I could've come back a month earlier if it weren't for that, but I also know putting all of this into words then would just sound like incoherent venting (not that this is very different tbf) and I wasn't in the right headspace to address my absence, or anything really- I didn't want everyone to see me return when I couldn't muster up a genuinely positive message, let alone talk to anyone with a shadow of my usual cheer

I feel like a complete mess and It drives me up the wall how depressed I've gotten. I debated deleting this blog so many times 'cause the fear of disappointing my audience and my friends, for lack of a more fitting sentiment, made me feel even shittier. I'm constantly thinking if this wall of text is worth posting, or if it's better not to burden you all with all my sappy troubles as if it's the end of the world. Trust me, I'll be fine. I'm not trying to dramatize this situation, but I don't think I'm up to pretending I'm all sunshine and enthusiasm you're all accustomed to.

So sorry for worrying you all! I'll try to catch up, deliver some missed birthday gifts, and answer some asks while I'm at it! Again, I can't state how much I appreciate your support throughout the years. It's frankly a miracle I kept any of you around with how much I keep popping and leaving at random with no warning. I definitely can't promise for my stay to be without a hitch, and if you don't mind an inconsistent schedule you're free to stay of course, but I'm afraid I can't sustain the pace I had when I first started this blog. I'll keep posting art, but lower my activity in the fandom sphere to reduce the strain on my mental health. so fewer rants and walls of text, more art, and less stress overall. Love you all and thanks for waiting for this long <3

[filmbyjy]

hi its me, the one who asked u for the exam prep fic w jay.

i want some angst. Its because im going through that rn. HE FELL FIRST BUT SHE FELL HARDER, where jay gives up on their "friendship" because the reader was too busy denying her feelings for him. (u can end it w some fluff if u want heh) Doesnt necessarily havw to be with jay btw any member from enhypen u think fits best for this works.

its alright if u dont want to!!

a/n: oh hi anon☺️ oh my god but this request phew😮‍💨 prepare the tissues bc I feel like i’m gonna make this too angsty. of course, i’m gonna end it off on a good note. my heart can’t handle not getting a happy ending.

pairing: park jongseong x fem!reader

genre: angst but fluff towards the end

warning: talks about cutting/self-harm and depression (do proceed with caution). mentions of dead parents. I believe I made this too angsty so i am sorry. you do end up with jay though so that’s the good part. i did also change up a bit bc i believe that i have triggered someone with jake like ‘slut-shaming’ you. i am so sorry for that part.

word count: 1.5K words

taglist[perm]: @ja4hyvn @ahnneyong @milklix @kar0ki @sugarsunoo

our friendship

10 years of friendship.

down the drain just like that. all because of your selfishness. you couldn’t forget the way jay’s hands trembled as he voices out his feelings.

you felt like the villain for not believing him. denying your own feelings for him. you couldn’t love him. it was impossible, not when jay was for someone else. you couldn’t provide him with the affection he deserves. you were a broken record.

“why did you hurt him?” sunghoon asks.

— placing this in case the read more messes up —

“i didn’t mean to.” you nonchalantly say. the boy sighs.

“i know you didn’t mean to but I know you’re just hurting yourself too.”

“i’m not hurting myself.”

“when was the last time you ate properly?”

you kept quiet. jay usually made sure you ate on time, even if you didn’t have enough money, he made sure to buy you a meal. your life wasn’t the best. your dad did drugs and was absent most of your life. your mom ran off with a foreigner. you were left alone to fend for yourself. no family member to care for you. you matured quicker than most kids because of that.

sunghoon places a carton of milk. your favourite. one that jay usually buys for you.

“take this. you haven’t had lunch.”

“it’s alright. I don’t like this flavour.” you lied.

“that’s a lie. both jake and I have seen you happily drinking it after jay places it on your desk.”

“well, i stopped liking it.”

“after jay left.”

“well, he left for a reason.”

“because he was heartbroken.”

“his mom wanted him to study in america. that’s his real reason.”

“he would’ve stayed for you, (name).”

“i don’t want to hold him back, sunghoon.” you glared at the boy. sunghoon sighs.

“you aren’t holding him back, he just loves you.”

“well, i don’t love him!”

“stop being in denial. you love him just much as he loves you. actually no, you love him way more than he could love you.”

“you’re bullshitting, sunghoon.”

“you’re going to regret saying this (name).”

you left sunghoon. you didn’t want to hear what he was saying because if you stopped denying, you’d hurt yourself. falling in love with your best friend was something scary. falling hard for your best friend was the worst.

it had been years since you graduated from high school. you haven’t heard much from sunghoon, jake or even jay. you had fell out of that friendship ever since the talk. for some odd reason, your old classmates had organised this get together since it had been a while. you were not preparing yourself to meet your friends from high school.

“(name).” heeseung yells out. you gave him a little smile.

“class president.” you say. he chuckles.

“it was for 1 term, (name).”

“you were still our class president.”

“the best one.” jake slings his arm around heeseung. heeseung groans as he attempts to push jake’s arms off.

“it’s been a while, (name).” jake says. his voice laces with venom which wasn’t how he was normally and how he was back then. you nearly wince at how his tone sounded.

you could feel a shiver creep up and you were actually scared of jake.

“uh, yes. i-it’s been a while.” you say. afraid of saying something wrong to get jake angry. honestly, he had a very good reason to get mad at you. you hurt jay. one of the first few people jake cared about.

after you hurt jay, jake had followed jay to America. where they both continued their studies to together. sunghoon visited them and eventually moved there a little to spend time and possibly study there too. eventually, all of them moved back here to continue college since they missed Seoul.

seeing jake in a long while, you realised you missed him and the friendship the both of you had. jake was sort of like a brother to you. he was the closest to you but of course he clearly chose jay. you wanted to walk away but jake grabs on your wrist. heeseung leaves, he could feel the heavy tension.

“I see you’re happy with how your life turned out.”

“what?”

“cut that bullshit. iseul told us. you go to parties and have fun as if you didn’t do anything wrong! it’s disgusting, after you hurt your own best friend’s feelings?”

“jaeyun-”

“don’t call me that. we aren’t friends anymore.”

it fell silent between the both of you, the sound of EDM playing in the background. tears prickling at your eyes. someone comes to pull jake off you. you knew that familiar cologne.

“jake, you shouldn’t fight here. just leave her alone.” jay says.

“she hurt you, jay. how could you just ignore that? she’s been living her life happily while you cried everyday back in America.”

“don’t.” jake shoves jay’s arm and walks away. jay turns to you. he attempts to touch your wrist but you moved back.

“(name).” the way he says your name was perfect. it felt right but you shouldn’t.

you shook your head. tears falling down.

“jay, please.”

his eyes caught sight of slashing marks. they seem pretty recent. he knows you were never one to harm yourself but what exactly happened?

you left the place that day. it was when you started to really close off. you see, after jay left. a whole series of bad luck just dumped onto you. your dad got into car accident and died on impact. your mom was diagnosed with cancer and she died months later. you were left alone having to work hard to earn your own money.

you could feel the burden of living alone just pile over you and you couldn’t take it anymore. everything was overwhelming. too overwhelming. even the feeling of pain wasn’t as immense as the burden you felt. which was why you started self-harming yourself. you loved the feeling of the blade cutting your skin, it was numbing.

“(name), could you please tell me the answer?” the lecturer asks as you were daydreaming. you easily answered and the lecturer hums.

the bell rings soon after and students start pouring out of the class. you tugged onto your hoodie arms, hoping the hide the latest cut. it was itchy and it started bleeding again when you went to pick on it. you simply placed a bandaid over it.

you were packing your things when you felt a tap on your shoulder. you looked up.

“hi.” sunghoon says. you looked away, you couldn’t let him see you like this. you shouldn’t associate yourself with your old friend group. you walked away quick but sunghoon was fast. curse his long legs.

“(name).” he stops you and pulls back your hood. that’s when he realises the bloodshot look you had. he gasps a little.

“what happened to you?”

“didn’t sleep.”

“you look like you got hit by a truck.” he winced.

“maybe I did. what’s your problem?”

“look about what happened that day with jake at the reunion…”

“I forgive him. I deserve it after all.” you walked away but sunghoon tries to catch up to you.

“yeah but that doesn’t account for what he did to you.”

“he didn’t punch me. he just talked to me.”

“(name).”

“please, sunghoon. i don’t want to live in a world with guilt. I’ve already hurt jay enough and I don’t want to hurt jake too.”

“yeah but like I’ve said a long time ago. you’re hurting yourself too. I heard that you rarely ever go out besides actually spending time in school. you’ve gone from a social butterfly to an introvert.”

“what’s wrong with being an introvert.”

“it’s just not who you are (name).”

“so what if I am not who I was. people change sunghoon. i think it’s best if I stayed away from jay. we should have never cross paths.”

“but you like him.”

“yeah, I do. what will happen? hmm? jay doesn’t like me anymore, I know it. he’s probably already dating someone hot. someone that suits him. someone who isn’t me.”

“you are someone that suits me, (name).” jay voices out. you shook your head and turned around to jay.

“I am not right for you. you wouldn’t want an emotionally and mentally broken girl. I already lost my parents, I don’t want to lose anything anymore.”

“your parents are gone?”

“they’re dead. it’s been a year or two. after i graduated from high school…”

“(name).”

“jay, i’m sorry I didn’t tell you about my feelings but it’s too late. i am too broken.”

“you know I wouldn’t care if you’re too broken. I would’ve held you tight and cared for you.”

“jay, I just think we were on different levels. you were someone popular, smart and good looking. i’m just whatever this is.”

“I never cared about the stereotype. I loved you for who you were.”

“love is a strong word to describe how you’re feel about me.” you say. jay holds you close.

“but I do love you.”

“you wouldn’t understand, how much I feel for you.”

“then show me.”

“I can’t. not in public, where sunghoon and jake are staring at us.”

jake rolls his eyes, “go ahead and kiss. this idiot has been rooting for the both of you since high school.” he smacks sunghoon.

“what’s so wrong for hoping they’d get together. I thought they fit each other.” sunghoon glares at jake.

jay pecks your forehead, “we’ll take this slow until you feel better, hmm?”

and he did make you feel better.

[fulloflambing]

just yap about my most recent work (how i made it, the alternate plots or endings), and my future posts :D

writing that story took soooo much brain juice from me i feel like my brain has become a wringed sponge. im honestly rlly proud i managed to finish it😭

ive had writing experience before here on tumblr but i never rlly put alot of effort into it and it often made me feel bad about how i finished my stories. i always just thought about a vague plot, typed away, and posted it. some people enjoyed it n i was grateful for that but whenever id reread my own stories it would make me criticize myself and make me unmotivated to write, which eventually made me delete my old writeblr.

but ever since i've come back, and especially with 'heaven can wait', i rlly took my time to rewrite things i didnt find fitting. ive stopped writing just to post, but writing to actually enjoy and better my skills. im honestly proud of myself for taking the time to do that because i am, truthfully, a very impatient person n i hate redoing things. actually, i rewrote the story by like the 3.5k word mark TWICE and made sure i was truly happy with it. the plot was actually supposed to go two ways!:

kinich would find reader in their home, and they could comfort eachother real quick in the house before kinich escorted them to the survival shelter. kinich would then make a promise to reader to come back alive and boom boom fighting wham he comes back to them and boom emotional reunion!

^ i changed my mind halfway while writing this because i wanted the story to have more depth and to make it more about reader and kinich both experiencing grief and negative emotions more. this plotline was just too lovey dovey and chill for my liking.

2. kinich reunites with the reader in the end by finding her dead asleep in the tribe's infirmary.

^ i didnt like this ending because i felt like it would've been a boring climax to the heavy emotions of reader as she was separated from kinich thinking he was dead. does that make sense? like it felt like a boring way to end off y/n's part after building up all these negative thoughts swirling in their mind just for her not to even see kinich come back from war to have those negative thoughts be swooped away from her in a romantic light. it was cute tho, kinich would've been whispering 'im home' as he admired reader as they recovered but i didnt want a calm ending for the story. i wanted a passionate, emotional reunion type :) like very 'light after the storm'-esque type of ending!

some parts of the story i dont like but i feel like is the part i could do for the story was how mavuika defeated the abyss? i CANT WRITE ACTION FOR SHYT!!!! so it took so much deleting and rewriting and paraphrasing it actually got me a headache just to write that small section 😭😭

on a more exciting note, the next thingy ill write is probably for kinich's birthday! im very torn about what ill write and when ill write it because i have exams right after kinichs bday so i dont think ill have time to write for it.

but after i figure out and post a birthday special for kinich, i'll be writing a more angsty, heartbroken-y story kind of related to 'heaven can wait' but if things went wrong. its really not an alternate ending, more of like "if it ended this way, this would've happened." its been a plot thats been marinating in my head for awhile and i think you guys will rlly like it! its gonna be angst with comfort but still sad ending hihi sorry.

i have alot of canon fanfic ideas that i wna write as soon as possible but i feel like i should switch it up and write some modern!au fics. and maybe with other characters (my other favs! capitano, xiao, thoma, etc.). i also feel like i have to prepare a 100 follower special soon but i have nooo idea what to do for it huhu THANK U BTW GUYS FOR 81 FOLLOWERS AAA IM SO TOUCHED

in short, i have a lot and i mean srsly alot of kinich ideas rn but my schedule is gonna be cramped this week. but after ill be free again! my problem is i just dont know what to write first 😔💔

anyway, maybe ill do a poll or something :) ILL SEE WHAT I CAN DO!!

if you've read this far, thank u sm and i appreciate it >< ill do my best to write as much as i can.

[l-norris]

Spanish GP 2024 Recap

Part 3 of this strangely therapeutic thing I call content!

Forgot to write out stuff that happened pre-race cuz I was busy stressing over final exams tomorrow and realised it only as the formation lap was complete lmao.

('Tis the reason I'm posting it today already as well, brother I am SUFFERING I HATE FINAL EXAMS)

Anyways, enjoy.

And, as always, numbers in brackets are lap numbers.

(Disclaimer: Remember that this is just for shits and giggles, I'm not trying to actually hate on anyone here cuz all the drivers are very dear to me)

- IT'S LIGHTS OUT AND AWAY WE GO!

- Lando looses P1 almost immediately

- and drops down to P3 in the first corner

- That was horrible my man

- But DAMN where did George come from tho??

- No crashes so far

- Oop Ferraris touched actually, nevermind

- Max in the lead (3)

- Is it even worth it to keep watching

- Like we all know how this is gonna end

- Fuck it, never say never

- Lando is back in George's DRS window (7)

- Somehow Fernando dropped down to P14

- Lando is slowly creeping up on George

- First pitstops happening already (Guanyu and Yuki) (10)

- Oscar is literally up Pierre's rear

- Haas fucking up yet another pitstop

- Oh brother I can see the negative points in my F1 Fantasy already

- Kevin apparently did a false start (this seems familiar)

- Max binned it in turn 7 (13)

- Which we never got to see btw

- Alpine fucked up Pierre's pitstop

- Kevin gets a 5-Second-Penalty (now hold on...)

- George in Pit (16)

- Mercedes also fucked up George's pitstop

- What's in Barcelona's air today lmao

- Lando is 8 tenths faster than Max

- Max comes in (17)

- 1,9 second pitstop😵

- Rejoins in fourth

- Carlos is complaining a lot today

- Stop yapping bro, DRIVE

- I'm scared of McLaren's strategy

- I need to go to the restroom but if I've learnt anything it is that something crucial happens if I do.

- Oscar in pit (22)

- Oscar flying past Nico (23)

- Lando pitstop (23)

- Rejoins in sixth

- Lando fastest lap (26)

- Lando closing in on Carlos

- Aaaand he's gone!

- Oscar overtakes Checo easily (28)

- "Tires are very inconsistent" - Max (30)

- OH?

- Lando is getting ready to overtake Lewis

- Gets by easily (32)

- Oscar flies through the field

- Lando is up in P2!

- But George ain't giving up without a fight

- Fight! (36)

- They're side by side for like half the lap

- Lando wins the squabble (37)

-George fastest lap (39)

- Checo is in P10 btw (38)

- I give up, I need to use the restroom

- Nothing happened, nice.

- Lapping starts (42)

- Max pitstop (44)

- Lando is speeding away

- Mom I'm scared

- Lando boxes (47)

- Rejoins P2!!!

- Nico gets a penalty for speeding in the pitlane

- 7 second gap to Max

- Is it too soon to say I can hear the Dutch anthem playing already?

- Wait hold on Lando is actually gaining

- Yuki also gets a penalty for speeding in the pitlane

- 15 laps to go!

- Lewis in P3!

- Max is pulling away again😮‍💨

- Alex bins it (60)

- My hopes are dead

- Max won

- silently fuming

- Not only because Lando didn't win but because somehow Oscar was kinda forgotten again? Correct me if I'm wrong here tho

- At least Lando got DotD

- AND LEWIS PODIUM!

- Everyone actually finished🤯

- This race was... meh.

- Not a single yellow flag, no safety car, no carnage.

- Only plenty of overtakes and battles

- Some of them were GODLIKE but still...

- Turned off the broadcast as soon as the podium celebrations started

- I do NOT want to hear the Dutch anthem rn

- I cannot physically handle hearing it I will cry

- Lando didn't do his signature champagne celebration apparently - very understandable.

- But at least he's second in the WDC now🥹

- inhaling the copium

- ... feel free to add on!

... Yeah. A rollercoaster of emotions, this one.

But hey! My homerace is next! YIPPEE! See ya in Spielberg!

[tulipe-rose]

SO. FOLLOWERS. I FINALLY FOUND WHERE TO READ THE LNs, AND NOT JUST SOME SNIPPETS!!!

In celebration, I screenshotted every single line that caught my attention in 'Dazai's entrance exam', and wrote down notes of my thoughts on it. (This might turn into a series because damn I think too much (it's a blessing lol))

It's so interesting to see Kunikida's take on Abilities, it's very nicely phrased— important questions that definitely came to mind are mentioned here, only to hit us with the reality that no one has a theoretical explanation on it. Even the way Abilities manifest is a mystery. Some theorize it might be due to a traumatic experience, but no one truly knows.

OOO Martial arts trivia with Doppo-kun!! (Yeah I can't with myself rn, it's one am, and I decided that since Doppo is the narrator of this LN, I'll bully him a little lot; he made it super easy lmao.)

OMG DOPPO FALLS INTO DEBT?!! THAT GOES AGAINST AT LEAST 50 OF HIS IDEALS LORD THIS IS TOO FUNNY TO THINK ABOUT—

Seriously though, imagine the golden age agency members as a whole, (Kunikida, Rampo, Katai, and Yōsano) being fresh, and young adults, but also terrible at handling their funds to the point of losing all of their money every month somehow, and waiting for payday like it's their one lifeline while fighting off loansharks. Fukuzawa decided that it was about time Yōsano, and Rampo handled themselves independently, only to regret it later. Kunikida doesn't know just how his savings just disappear (ehem Rampo ehem), and Katai gets the hang of it sooner rather than later. He was just so used to having Kunikida being the one to manage the money, but once Kunikida started getting busy, he tried to be a little confident, and independent. (Epic fail)

Also justice for the law office, imagine them having to deal with all of the Mafia vs Agency crap to this day. Istg, these people have seen it all

“ blasphemous book ”

Couldn't agree more omfg– ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ

“ perfume of beautiful women! ”

No words. If I start questioning where that came from, I'm afraid it'll spiral into something unpleasant–

Dazai is as high as the statue of liberty, and it's entertaining oml–

Like, yes Dazai, the anemone is definitely eating the banana, want to have some? I could ask it for you.

We're naked? Whatever floats your titanic, dear. Our approval ratings? Well, I suppose the agency is the best of the best. Oh? I suppose it can never be that simple, but I suppose tights can be a little uncomfortable depending on the material. The bank didn't see it coming, nope, the reaction was worth the uncomfort; I did mess up on the hopak steps a little though, but non of us are perfect, don't you agree?

I'm having too much fun–

Just gotta love how Doppo is just going about his day like Dazai doesn't even exist. Like:

“ That? Figment of your imagination, dear reader; I insist that there definitely isn't a high employee here. Moving on– ”

“ Why it's a little old pops! He's whispering to me, he's saying ‘Go to Tokyo; in Tokyo they make food with Miso which tastes different, and you need to try i–... ’”

Far fetched, LIKE SUPER DUPER FAR FETCHED, but could this be foreshadowing Dazai's backstory? Hear me out on this!! He's talk about an old pops, which could be referring to someone he viewed as an important, figure in his life; I think it could be an elderly man that came to Dazai's acquaintance before being found by Mōri. The old pops could've been telling Dazai all sorts of stories, and Dazai obviously memorized them all. One of the stories could be about one of pops' travels to Tokyo, where he tried Miso for the first time, and being so infatuated by it, encouraged Dazai to go try it one day. What makes me dead set on this is how Kunikida interrupted Dazai during his drunken speech, which is Asagiri's most common way of revealing/hinting at things.

I should go to sleep (neh.)

FOUL. DOPPO, THAT WAS FOUL. (But honestly... keep going. He's been so irritating to you, you're rightfully angry)

Shout out to our part timer Doppo!! Having multiple jobs is such burden, I salute you for your survival, Doppo. I bet most of the kids loved you (some didn't, but you can't have them all)

Graceful, huh? I don't see it.

OOO, I didn't see this ever being mentioned!! Like no one talks about it (as far as I've seen)!

I'm nearly certain it was at bar lupin.

ZJSBWJB I CAN'T ADD ANYMORE PICTURES >:{{

I'm making a part two, dw.

[lnkedmyheart]

This is rambly but my thoughts so far:

Someone said this is Sigma's entrance exam and that could be it. Dazai leaving the rest of the mission to Sigma, Sigma's whole arc.

Dazai falling to his death in an elevator is funny cause that guy is unkillable. He aint dying and anyone saying otherwise is being deliberately obtuse.

We have good reason to believe Chuuya has broken free from the vampirism/mind control situation and it would be a stupid decision to not have him play any role here. So far Chuuya has done the bare minimum. Him working with Fyodor parallels Sigma switching sides. Except we know Chuuya would never betray his people, be it the PM or Dazai whereas Sigma had good reason to turn on Fyodor.

Fyodor seems a bit too cocky rn. A little TOO cocky if you ask me.

Chuuya is still behind Fyodor. Fyodor underestimates Sigma, doesnt know about Chuuya's anti mind control hat, appears to believe Dazai is about to die.

Fyodor has made the biggest mistake he could have made by calling skk's connection shallow, which is a set up for future pay off cause that was so out of left field and ridiculous and would be bad writing without said pay off.

Chuuya can control gravity/control the cables to slow down the descent of the elevator without his ability being nullified.

We didnt see Chuuya in the shot which showed the elevator with Dazai in it free falling, Fyodor losing his shit and Sigma being terrified. No Chuuya. It makes no sense to not have him in the shot. Where are you gravity boy? Off to rescue the damn fish again?

Sigma rescuing Dazai takes are actually quite interesting but I highly doubt Sigma would be able to rescue Dazai in any way. He also would have no reason to believe Dazai survived that fall. So honestly unless we get a character comeback it has got to be Chuuya. The latter also makes sense in regard to the skk bond slander from before.

I doubt we will see the Meursault girlies next chapter or anytime soon. Dazai is falling to his death, its a good time to take a year long break to switch POVs.

Anyway Chuuya, Fyodor abd Sigma are the major players left on the scene and if Dazai doesnt return soon for a "haha I lived bitch" reveal we have Sigma who has to now single handedly take on Fyoya, Fyodor who thinks Dazai is dead and Chuuya who is still a wild card that hasnt been used yet.

Also sigmazai moments for my bizai agenda. Yes Dazai, go around and kiss as many boys as you like. Live your boy kisser fantasies before mounting an elevator and falling to your almost death.

Yes I do be bullshitting about the sigmazai smooch but its close enough to looking like one. Imma be delulu and believe my brain farts cause bizai is more important to me than acting sane.

Fyodor brought in Chuuya because he knew it would get under Dazai's skin, which it did, Dazai proceeded to *drown* Chuuya (as if he didnt know Chuuya is an excellent swimmer since sb) while giving a gay ass speech and actually reminiscing all their moments (it meant something to him cause we were shown the moments as an audience, it wasnt just for show on his part), fyoya escaped and Fyo gave a whole "he's my tool now" speech and mocked skk's bond, something Dazai prides himself about) thereby confirming that Fyodor was convinced Dazai did not value Chuuya at all, meanwhile Chuuya is silent and hidden in the shadows this whole time clearly not a vampire, wearing his anti mind control hat, dazai proceeded to enter an elevator and fall to his death in a machine that has several parts not in direct contact with him. Fyodor lost it thinking Dazai died and Chuuya, the gravity manipulator is not in frame.

[darling-miaxoxo]

Fuck you! (part 2)

A/N: part 2 of the fuck you drabble/oneshot i made- Also due to the amount of p*rn bots circling tumblr, im blocking blogs who have a default pfp, no title, and have no posts. Sorry for the inconvenience! Also this is long af- I wont be posting for the next 3 days as it is my exams, again. Warning/s: Murder, mentions of cheating, violence, successful assassination attempt. Summary: It's been a few years since you last saw them. You have been working as an assassin to make ends meet. You get a request to take out a girl. Not just any girl. The girl Alma was with. ︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

You were opening up your phone to check on social media. As you were watching some videos, you decided to go check on your secret. The main reason you were making money. You opened up the app that looked like a dictionary. It asked for facial recognition and the password. You let the app scan your face and entered the password. It was the assassination app. You checked your requests for any new assassination requests. So far, there were a lot, it makes sense as you are the third top assassin, and was never caught. But one request caught your eye. It was requesting for you to kill a girl. Not any normal one. The girl you caught Alma with. And their offering a hefty amount of money too! 10,000$ to be specific. You accepted their request and were going to meet up at their house in Wales when the job is done. Ha! Funny isnt it? The risk of getting caught by your ex-wife. Almost like the time you caught her. Actually scrap that, Just like the time you caught her. Adrenaline was rushing through your veins. The thought of seeing her again in shock of her seeing her ex-wife murdering a-not-so-innocent girl. You were getting ready for the job. Shotgun's, pistol's, knives, smoke bombs, your mask, your hoodie, and most importantly your lucky necklace, which included a photo of the children in it. Just the children, no Alma cause you were heartbroken and cut that part of the photo off. You made sure that everything was intact and ready for murder. Violence is not the answer is what you would tell to a child. But to a grown adult? Violence is the answer to almost everything. They can take it, their a grown adult adult after all. You found out that this girl was in Wales. Stalking skills sure do come help in assassination. ≪•◦ Time skip ◦•≫ You were currently on Wales, your backpack was heavy, but it is a small price to pay for you not getting killed by police. After all, you did kill hundreds. If they found out, you would be sentenced to death almost immediately. Oh sweet Cairnholm. I missed you. You tried to find out where this girl was, your not planning to stay for long. You put on your white hoodie and mask and started to walk the place. A regular person would think; why would an assassin wear a white hoodie? Well because, you can just see the blood splatter across your hoodie. One might say you were crazy. But you have gone too crazy to care. You heard a crack. Reflexes kicked in, you turned around almost instantly. There you saw her. The very girl you saw Alma with. "Well. Long time no see hm? Never knew your name." You said, your voice deep. "Huh? Who are you?" The girl foolishly said. "The person you will see last." You murmured. Grabbing your knife and then slashing her dead. The blood splattered against your white hoodie. Oh, this was fun. You took off your hoodie and was ready to go to the person's home. The person was non-binary, so you tried your best to use their preferred pronouns, which was they/them. You started to walk to their house and knocked. The person answered and asked you to come in "Hey, thanks for eliminating her for me. She was cheating on me and tried to kill me after wards. Anyways, I know your here for the money and not my sad story so here it is" The person said, and you wanted to help her out so you replied with; "No problem. I know the feeling. Please contact me again, next time is on the house." You grabbed the briefcase and started to walk back to the ferry. You decided to might as well visit them. As long as they dont find out your secret. You walked to the cave entrance and heard the familiar popping sound you hadn't heard in years. You heard the flowing of the grass as the weather of Cairnholm was changed from a foggy day, to a clear, sunshine day. You started to walk to the home. You heard the familiar laughing of the children in the distance. But, you couldnt stay long. Or else, they might find out your secret. You breathed in and finally stopped being scared and knocked. Ready to face whoever it was, after all, if it was Barron you could easily slice his head off.

Emma answered the door, her eyes wide as she saw you. "Miss Y/n?" She said, her voice shaky and laced with both curiosity and sadness. "Yes?" You said, mischief laced in your voice in contrast with her curiosity and sadness. She came forward and hugged you, tears coming out of her atlantic-like blue eyes. "Shh, I'm here now." you cooed. You were an assassin, not a monster. "Now let's come inside, shall we?" You said as the blonde-haired teenager sniffled. She led you inside. You were wondering were Alma was and that question was soon answered when you saw her outside watching the children with a smile on her face. You started to walk closer to her, your black and white Japanese-styled shoes clicking on the wooden planks beneath you. "Hello darling, long time no see hm?" You murmured in her ear from behind. She instantly turned around. "Y/n!" ︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

Part 3? 10 notes if yes

[azumasoroshi]

minidura chapter 11 react

ok i found chapter 11 translated by amnemonie on tumblr (thank you thank you thank you and if you want me to take this down i will!!) but there's no guarantee ill be able to find the rest lmAOo we'll see

HOT MAN!!! HOT MAN

i mean what no pathetic sopping wet man

cat face izaya i thought id never see you again

man after realizing there's a minidura tag i saw a post that was like "i wish minidura got animated like bsd wan" and like. YEAH. PLEASE

it would be the perfect revival of the durarara fandom pleaseeeeeee do it for meeeeeeee we could revive durarara like we revived trigun

and i need shizuo izaya and shinra cooking together being animated. please

anyway izaya looks like he really doesnt wanna be here in that last panel and i mildly spoiled myself on the comments/reblogs saying this one is really mean to izaya which you know i live for. [cracks knuckles] i hope he gets hit by a truck but like an emotional one because that's the only one he'd really react to

oh god he's more pathetic than i thought he'd be

they're really looking at him like "damn bitch you good" which is fair

bro summoned up all his courage to ask 😭rip bozo

??????????? THEY TOLD YOU HE'D BE WITH THEM

izaya simultaneously has the best social skills known to man and the WORST social skills known to man

ill never stop bringing this up but. now presenting orihara "i love humans because they're so unpredictable" izaya getting fucked by humans' predictability everybody

and here we see izaya walking awkwardly in his natural habitat, trying to eat cake with high schoolers /j

kadota casually calling out izaya on his bullshit bkgjdSGKHDSHds

he just wants to eat cakeeeee someone go with him

not me though i wouldnt be caught dead with that man

i swear walker's face gets longer every time i see him and it tickles me so much

aaaand cue shizuo on stage right

god bless erika for suggesting that he invite shizuo cuz id have done it myself

also "just today". are you implying that you want to see shizuo every other day. izaya.

WAIT

WAIT IS TODAY IZAYA'S BIRTHDAY

OH

oh my god thats actually sad okay

id say to ask namie but namie probably rejected him already without even letting him finish the question bkfdgjhgf

shinra keeping up the stupid anniversaries trend from that other chapter we love a consistent malewife

man shiki he wasnt even here for work 😭 at least he got some food although karasumi does not look that good if im being honest

at least compared to cake

shinraaaa you FORGOTTTT

may 4th is the date of my statistics exam but i swear ill celebrate it for you izaya. ill even mark it down on my calendar

oh 💀 namie is as delusional as i am. love that for her

he's even singing to himself ohhhhh poor baby...(i say this as if i'm not grinning wildly to myself in my room rn)

i swear i feel bad for him but he's so fun to bully

man i remember those fics where shizuo was the only one to remember izaya's birthday bgkjhfdgfd i guess those were founded from somewhere (even if his gifts were things like 'not chasing him today' or sending him black roses)

oh my god 😭 he's so desperate at this point i didnt think he'd actually be happy to see shizu-chan

even grabbing him by the arms bkgdssdkahdskjhgsdsd

this is gonna end badly though if the comments/reblogs i read have anything to say about it

😭yep the izaya bullying is real

SHIZUO NOOOOOOOOOOOO THATS BASICALLY THE WHOLE CAKE

izaya's conscious too 💀 MAN

part of me feels like this is narita's personal revenge against the shizaya fans in his fanbase askdbgskjhsdhgsd shizuo needs to be extra cruel to prove he's not gay

he's so happy to just get birthday textssssss this is so sad

[jazzyblusnowflake]

A doodle of Blu being horny that i liked so i slapped some bg colors and a text and voila :p

anyway life update under the cut lmao-

actually i mostly needed a doodle to write infos on for my insta and twitter but i liked it so here it is lmao-

okay so several stuff happening so ill start with the main 2- first off- issa my birthday soon :D and i hate it lmao- count on my mom to birth me in the most anxiety inducing month of the year ugh- anyway im gonna have to fight my relatives if im gonna hope to keep any money in my bank account honestly, but it also means they are gonna drag me for bday shenanigans which honestly please get me out of here //sob. second- its exam season and as a teacher im gonna be busy as fuck- designing test sheets and grading papers and all sorts of other stuff that are gonna be at my neck and afterwards getting a new application for next years schools which i have to go after immediately ugh- anyway yeah busy month.

other stuff that's happening is that im getting therapy :D yay, fingers crossed i don’t go insane a 5th time, probably gonna need to take meds too but ill get a appointment on that later cuz shits too busy rn. another thing that has happened is that i made a new twitter page for nsfw content and i feel more comfortable putting anything horny there in the future so yay time to be a degenerate :D...respectfully.

Also lastly, im really sorry for being dead to anyone who even cares about my work anymore tbh, my life is too abusive and difficult for me to be able to put time for leisurely activities anymore and im hoping therapy could help a part of this issue but its nothing id be able to fix any time soon. so as of this moment most of my goals and dreams relating to art is pretty much dead until i could pull myself together in this existence and it hasn’t been easy.

anyway who cares lmao still working on horny fics lol bye XD

[oncemorewithqueering]

as a reminder to stop medically gaslighting yourself, I’m gonna tell my story

I was vomiting for literally about 4 days, and after vomiting I’d have to lie down on the floor of my bathroom for up to an hour trying to work up the energy to go downstairs again

I also couldn’t eat or drink and barely did either for 4 days

I was constantly shaking uncontrollably and to the point where I was literally falling off my sofa regularly and incapacitated for up to 45 minute bouts

I was barely able to speak or move, and slept pretty much all day when I wasn’t throwing up (which was 10-15 times a day, and on one day it was 23 times. dragging my sorry ass to the bathroom)

the months before I had been sick and tired a lot, but blamed it on exam stress

aaaaaand I thought I had a tummy bug (I had sepsis and if i hadn’t dragged my ass to the doctor who thought I was just dehydrated who then sent me to the hospital where I proceeded to stay for a week and a half I would be dead rn lol)

stay well and stop gaslighting yourself

[etfrin]

Hey pookie, long time no see but exams have been kicking my ass 😭😭. But it’s almost spring break so fuck it we ball 💪🏻

Anyways, I just got caught up on all your new fics and girl you have done it again, constantly raising the bar and doing it flawlessly. I’m so glad that you’re writing for Spencer, love me my socially awkward men. And with souls to crush, Is it bad that I was kind of sad that MC didn’t really care for Sejanus ??😭😭. Like I know she was just trying to get close to Coryo but I figured she cared for him even a little, idk maybe it’s my love for Sejanus talking. The recent chapters have been so good omg

But how have you been??

-🌺Anon

HEYYY SWEETHEART! i missed you!

i hope your exams are going well, i only have two left before my break soon. I just want them to end already 😭 i hope you're doing well in all of your exams!

thank you! i recently started writing for Spencer but I haven't been able to focus in him due to school :(( which makes me sad, he deserves more attention! he's awesome, i love him, heck i have a prompt board that I created to write fics about him! I recently started season four of CM!

As for Souls To Crush, it's safe to say she was friends with Sejanus just because of his status, and then even further bonded with him when she realized that Coryo was her soulmate. Honestly, reader wanted Coryo to be hers' out of pure stubbornness (because Coryo didn't want her). But she still cares deeply for him, she liked Sejanus too, she grieves for him just a little bit in her heart but dismisses thinking it's because she let go of a pawn. She's very similar to Coryo.

Unlike Coryo who wasn't as close with Sejanus in this au, reader was, and since this was Coriolanus pov I can't show her going through that, because she wants Coriolanus to completely rely on her which won't be possible if she makes him feel guilty for his actions (does that make sense?)

In the end, more than Sejanus, all that matters to her is Coryo. What happened had to be done, she knew exactly what she was doing when she confirmed Dr. Gauls' suspicion. In this au, she's the reason Sejanus is dead, and it's because of her own selfish reasons of getting Coryo back in the capitol.

In this she's a parallel of Coryo that's in tbosas, i hope I was able to convey that. Coriolanus and reader are extremely similar yet reader is much more cruel and smarter yet the most caring for people she loves(Coryo). Hence why she also said Lucy Gray has to die :// to her there was no way around it

And uhh i am suffering through cramps rn, besides that I am fine!

This kinda went long and I hope I made sense because I simply went into ranting mode sorry 😭

I hope you're doing well, pookie, ly ❤️