#which is currently going through some shit

[solarmorrigan]

Wrote this a while ago for I think an Angsty August prompt but never posted it. Stumbled across it a few days ago and realized I actually liked it, so here it is

Rated: T | Words: 935 | CW: Anxiety attack | Tags: hurt/comfort, Eddie Munson needs a hug, Steve Harrington has chronic pain, Eddie Munson takes care of Steve Harrington, Eddie Munson loves Steve Harrington, Steve Harrington loves Eddie Munson, the stress and imperfection of caring for someone with a chronic illness

-

There are bills. There are always fucking bills – a pile of them lying on the kitchen table where Eddie sits now, head hanging, hair clenched in his fists as he tries to breathe.

He’s pulling so hard that he’s giving himself a headache, and it nearly makes him laugh, but he refrains. He gets the feeling that if he starts, he might not stop – he’ll get louder and louder, maybe get a little hysterical, and then he’ll disturb Steve, who’s currently laid up with the mother of all headaches. Eddie’s little tension headache pales in comparison to the might of the migraine.

At least it’s Saturday. Steve hadn’t had to miss another shift, and Eddie is free to stay home and keep him company. Not that there’s much Eddie can do; he takes another shaking breath, trying to burst the band of anxiety wrapped tight around his chest, but his thoughts keep racing.

The envelopes piled on the table stare back at him as he blinks watery eyes down at his placemat, rent and utilities and medical bills all crying out for payment. Eddie’s job is barely enough to keep them afloat, and Steve – he helps as much as he can. His new job doesn’t pay as much as his last had, but fewer and more flexible hours reduce the chances he’ll get fired after calling out one too many times (like his last job).

(And Eddie can admit, if only in the privacy of his own head, to some frustrated, bitter thoughts in his weaker moments, wondering why Steve can’t just push through his pain like Eddie does. There are days when Eddie’s scars act up, when his body aches and he wants nothing more than to stay in bed, but he doesn’t.

But then he sees the results of Steve “pushing through it” – ignoring the way his whole body hurts, moving until he physically can’t anymore, until even breathing feels painful. Shoving off the impending signs of a migraine until they get mornings like this one: vomiting and stuttering and auras, sitting on the bathroom floor until Eddie can coax him back to bed.

He sees it, sees how much it kills Steve that he can’t do more, and feels ashamed.)

It isn’t just the bills weighing on Eddie’s mind, though. More even than money trouble—something with which Eddie at least has experience—it’s Steve that’s scaring him the most. The days when he’s overwhelmed by pain or by exhaustion, by fogginess and migraines, seem to be increasing, and Eddie doesn’t know what to do.

Scrape together enough money to go see another specialist who will tell them shit they already know and recommend treatments they can’t afford?

(Eddie would. If Steve’s doctor gave him yet another referral, Eddie would find a way to make it work. He’s just not sure anymore that it would help.)

He hates feeling useless. Hates sitting by, unable to do a damn thing, unable to solve the problem, stuck in place just like he had been in high school, dead weight, no good to anybody–

A rustling of sheets followed by a quiet groan reaches Eddie’s ears from the bedroom, snapping him from his spiral.

He sits up, then, releasing his hair and rubbing his hands over his cheeks, catching any stray moisture from beneath his eyes. He takes a few deep breaths, shaking less now, and stands from the table. There is one thing he can do, and even if it doesn’t feel like enough, Eddie is going to do it.

The bedroom is dim, curtains drawn over east-facing windows that blessedly get less light in the afternoon. The bed is a wreck of pillows and sheets, moved around or cast aside in an effort to alleviate the pain, to warm up or stay cool through a fluctuating body temperature. Steve lies in the middle of it all, turned now to face the door, one arm stretched over the empty space where Eddie had been.

His eyes are closed, but Eddie’s pretty sure he’s awake – sure enough, he pulls his arm back as soon as the bed dips under Eddie’s weight. Eddie slides back beneath the sheets and takes Steve’s hand with a gentle squeeze.

“Hey.”

Steve hums, eyes still closed, squeezing Eddie’s hand back. “Where’d you go?”

“Just got up to stretch my legs,” Eddie answers (it’s an easy lie, one Eddie feels no guilt over, because it’s better than explaining that he’d gotten up to avoid waking Steve with the anxiety attack that had built in his chest the longer he’d lain in the silence of their bedroom, watching the furrow between Steve’s brows that made him look pained even in his sleep).

After a moment, Steve’s eyes flutter open, searching Eddie’s face. Whatever he finds there makes his frown deepen.

“Kinda ruined our weekend, huh?” he says quietly. “’m sorry you’re stuck with me like this.”

“Don’t,” Eddie says lowly. “Never apologize. I’m not stuck with you, I love you.” He leans up, presses a kiss to Steve’s forehead, and Steve sighs.

He takes their joined hands and brings them to his lips, kissing the back of Eddie’s. “I love you, too,” he murmurs against Eddie’s skin.

“You need anything?” Eddie asks, before he really settles in.

Steve makes a noise in the negative. “Just you,” he says, lips still brushing Eddie’s hand. “That’s enough.”

Eddie can’t help the overwhelmed tears that well up in his eyes again. This is enough – they’re enough. As long as Eddie has Steve, they can figure the rest out together.

And that will always be enough.

[lychgate]

i haven't posted a really poorly drawn thought piece adventure in years so here's a brief update!

hope i hit the read more thing right oh well anyway:

"Spent a lot of time applying for a home loan. I had to pay -fucked up- to have a convincing income for a decent loan. It was very confusing but cody helped me a lot."

"Cody proposed to me It felt wonderful that someone wanted to share their time and love with me. Cody proposed Anthrohio weekend, it's the con we really met at."

"We saw the listing that sunday morning before we had to go to our table to vend."

"It was a perfect house. We were the first people to view it and we immediately put in a bid. And we got the house. Many papers to sign."

"Moving was not easy. It took 2 whole months. Cody was out of town helping their grandma recover from a big surgery and we had to sell their old house/move that as well as move from my apartment. ALSO THE PETS: My cat dick wolf + Cody's 3 birds. Until we could get some doors installed and separate the house, I had to live between two places every day to feed and care for them."

"Still, life was good. I bought my first house! It has a swing in the backyard. I've never had my own backyard. I've never even lived somewhere that had trees (in said yard) It felt nice. Living together with the love of my life and 4 pets."

"Through all this i never closed my shop. How could I? It was my income, and I just bought a house. It needed to stay open. Moving that much inventory, setting up a new office, the house is a nice size but it's not huge, so, very careful organizing had to be executed if I wanted my apparel laid out right. (Which I totally managed to do)"

"but i Did get really good at baking pies. the two are connected."

"sacred_crow on instagram!"

"there's like 25 of u bastards i would absolutely die for, and about 75 more that i would go nearly dead over."

"We have an extra bedroom so I got to turn it into a toy room. There's games, crafts, stuffed animals, movies, a sick loft I painted the shit out of. It rules. It brings me a lot of Joy."

"Under the loft we have a dug out where we can watch VHS tapes. I love to sit with Cody and watch movies and play Donkey Kong."

"I am not good at Banjo Kazooie, but Cody is. Cody is so talented. I love watching them play games. (Depicted is not banjo kazooie but donkey kong country 2 as we are currently playing that. I'm good at DKC but I will still swear and make sounds like im about to throw up)"

"Half the basement is finished, so we turned it into a dual office space. It rules. Cody has a whole side for fursuit crafting, and my side is mostly my gigantic gamer computer area/shipping area. I took a whole wall to put all my non apparel merch like pins charms and notebooks also. for hte love of god someone buy the notebooks they take up more space then i wanted"

"I love to look over from my computer and see cody working. They always look so focused, yet peaceful."

"It's winter but it rains. I miss the snow. I lived by the lakes growing up. I miss piles of snow. It's just wet and cold here. Yes i'm quite aware of global warming"

"I got kicked off both my health and car insurance. I fixed the car one but health insurance still no. All my meds have gone away. The past few months have been hard. I think way too much lately. I can't get myself to do anything. -this is a whole page of downer bullshit and i cropped it!-"

"We had a leaky ceiling that took a month to fix. Cody did all the work because they are smart and kind."

"Oh yeah I had my uterus removed earlier this year. They let me keep it. It's in a jar in my living room."

"We threw a very nice halloween party. I was the green m&m. Cody was the monarch."

"We adopted 8 beautiful kiwis from a crane machine at the mall. we spent over 100 monies to get them but it was worth it."

"

It was a rough year. My health is in decline. Our country may try to end my life for being trans soon (lol?) I am in hte middle of a colossal mental breakdown of my core fundamental behavior (depression advanced) BUT ALSO: I am engaged to my favorite person. We bought a house together. I'm beginning a new chapter of my life. I have a swing in my backyard. The negatives suck but there are also many positives. The cycle of emotions is immense, but there is beauty in it. There is beauty in life, and isn't that wonderful?"

[ravennaortiz]

A Happy request from the lovely @samcrosfaith! Yandere prompt #8 Give me your phone. I'm going through it.

Ruined

Happy was possessive, easily jealous and angered. Especially when it came to you. You were his. Period. Many a prospect had ended up in the hospital or worse for even just glancing at you in a way that he took wrong. No matter how many claims he made some people still couldn't figure it out.

You loved the attention and were usually amused by the way he acted. Which is why you bore not just his crow but his name as well. You also had a ring and a necklace as well as his love bites to show you were claimed. Besides he never took it out on you and you had never given him a reason to not trust you.

Which is what had led to the current argument. You had been in the shower when he had burst through the door knocking it off one of its hinges and scaring the shit out of you. He had ignored you as he rummaged around in the clothes on the floor.

"Give me your phone. I'm going through it. Now!" he demanded his eyes dark with anger.

"What? Why?" you demanded with a frown as you turned the water off and stepped out of the shower.

"Phone!" shouted Happy as he slammed his hand onto the sink top making you flinch. Briefly he felt bad but it passed as he reminded himself you had brought this upon yourself by cheating.

"Here" you stated as you disconnected the phone from your speaker where it had been playing your audiobook. You stood in a puddle of water as you watched Happy scroll though your phone. "Just don't go in the folder marked surprise please" you stated quietly.

"Fucking whore" muttered Happy as he opened the folder thinking he had his proof only for his smug smirk to be wiped away. Oh no. He thought top himself as he saw all the things you had ordered for not only his surprise birthday party but also to announce your pregnancy. That's why you had been so secretive and why you had turned your tracker off. He should have known better.

"I'm so-" he started as he closed the phone but you cut him off. Tears pouring down your face as you waved him off.

"I'm sorry too. That I made a child with you" you stated quietly before moving to the bedroom and getting dressed. "Please leave me alone" you added as Happy moved into the bedroom, fingertips on your arm.

"I'll be downstairs" stated Happy before leaving the room.

Want more happy? Click here

Want to make a request? Click here

[skellycrows]

dpxdc fantasy au (dead tired)

of course the moment i start posting on here and planning a fic i get sick LMAO. gave me time to start actually watching Danny Phantom though, so i know a bit more about what I'm talking about, which is nice. also finally managed to do a draft design for Tim in this AU, which will get posted sometime soon-ish.

After a bunch (ten minutes) of research I decidedly gave up and have decided to make up my own rules for how Amity Kingdom is going to work structure wise- mainly because getting Tim a way into the court is frustrating if i follow EXACTLY how real royal courts work.

SO!!! In Amity kingdom, the court is all decided by the ruling monarch. That means that even if someone was in the court as say, a duke, for the former ruler (cough cough dark pariah), when the new ruler took the throne their position would not be guaranteed. Danny filling up his court with a mix of fae (ghost equivalent) and humans to advise him- in Amity, the fae generally mingle with the humans. think, lunch lady working in a kitchen of some sort and it being accepted, if just barely. its a fragile balance, getting the two worlds to get along, but due to so much exposure, Amity's citizens aren't impacted by the primal fear and spooky shit as much. because this isn't exactly like pre-established fae creatures, I'm making it up with a mix of myths, and i want them to be off-putting. Also, the human citizens have their own magics and alchemy created specifically to combat and deal with the fae (equivalent of Fenton tech) when necessary, and so... yeah, Danny has Fright Knight teaching the soldiers. Yeah, Ember is a court musician. Yeah, they're both still Different from the human characters.

Amity's throne is also won through right of conquest, and the same is true in the infinite lands- meaning when Dark Pariah ruled over both, whoever beat him would rule over both. This also really fucked with fae-human relationships in Amity, so Danny has his work cut out for him resolving everything, ruling essentially a kingdom and a whole dimension, and having... no training in the slightest. not to mention, a large part of the court had to be stripped of their titles due to plotting against him or just generally not supporting his rule.

So you can imagine how desperate the poor boy is for aid. He has his friends and he has council in the infinite realms that upholds a good deal of the stuff there, but you know what he doesn't have?

Humans that know how to deal with mfing POLITICS. Sam is helpful for activism and agriculture, Tucker is helpful with alchemy, Jazz is helpful with... most things, really, but even she doesn't know how to run a country!!! She's best with organizing humanitarian efforts and healthcare and communication, not the logistics! The only person he knows that has a good grasp on all that stuff is Vlad, and asking Vlad for help is like asking to be manipulated into furthering the bastards agenda. And currently that man's agenda is to steal Danny's throne. The only reason he retained his title (duke? archduke maybe? undecided) when Danny took his throne is that keeping the man there quells a chunk of the people that disapprove of Danny's rule.

Also, again, like him or not, the guy knows what he's doing.

So yeah, when Danny's out on a visit to the city and discovers an outsider boy fighting a group of bandits, of course Danny helps him. (Tim would have been so very fine alone, but the help is appreciated). Protecting people, at least, is something he knows how to do. And then, well, the guy's an OUTSIDER, he doesn't know anything about how to survive in Amity, of course Danny's gonna show him around a bit and teach him some of the rules of survival! And maybe he doesnt mention his title at first, because its nice being treated a bit more normally. (Tim is watching this uncannily beautiful man warily the whole time- because something seems Off about him, about the way he holds himself, about the way the citizens treat him.)

And maybe he lets slip a few things about how the current king is struggling to settle in, and the new boy has an oddly expansive knowledge bank of taxes and trade and handling political factions and disputes and-

Well, Danny feels a bit like he can breathe for the first time in months. Its not perfect advise, of course- Gotham doesn't have the same types of problems as Amity but Ancients! The boy catches on to everything so quickly, and he seems so well equipped, and Danny needs to get him to come to the palace with him. He'd make an excellent advisor-

But maybe he'll just start with offering him a place to stay as a guest.

Tim is both pleased and paranoid when he immediately gets an in with the actual KING because its so convenient for his goals, but things never go this well. Something's Going to give, at some point, but for now he has no choice but to play along. Maybe it'll work out easily after all.

[childoferebus]

WHOMST

[cementcornfield]

Some of Tee and Ja'Marr's thoughts on the Tee Situation

Tee said to me 'right now I get to play with one of the, if not the, best quarterbacks in the game, I get to play with one of, if not the, best wide receivers in the game, that opens up so much more for me.' And then he said 'this offense is designed for so many different players to be spotlighted, the way that I am used in this offense so plays to my strengths.' And then he said to me, 'can you guarantee I can have that exact situation anywhere else?'

....

So do I think he's taking a home discount? No. But I do think that he is very very smart, he sees the whole picture out there...

....

It's very easy to compare this situation to what Ja'Marr had at LSU with Joe Burrow and Justin Jefferson. And Ja'Marr has said Tee is very different than Justin Jefferson. That every single minute with Justin Jefferson was a competition. That everything was who makes the more dynamic catch, who has more catches in practice, who runs faster? Everything was that way. Ja'Marr had to speak up and demand the ball a lot at LSU, because so was Justin. Ja'Marr told me that he doesn't have to do that in Cincinnati because Tee, and this is a quote from Ja'Marr, is one of the most unselfish humans you'll ever meet.

[bookwyrminspiration]

reading gideon the ninth:

reading harrow the ninth:

[immortalsins]

im so so tired jsjdhbj an engineering employers panel just scared me half to death with their startups and innovation and investment and passion commitment linkedin networking etc etc etc i hate it here

[sevenseasaurus]

so do the rest of you guys just simplify your dreams when explaining them to people or do I just remember a significantly weirder degree of depth than the average bear

[puthyflapps]

I have an intimate truth to share: I think Sunday would be a very cute name for a shoni baby who lives on a farm with her two moms. Sunday Shalifoe??? They could call her Sunny!! C’mon it writes itself!! And if she looked just like Shelby?? The material is there!! 😭😭😭

[mars-ipan]

i do love my family very dearly but the internalized ableism the men in here struggle with is. so much

[drfirefly08]

look at me and tell me im mentally okay, i dare you

(this is from my carrd for discord,,, haha im okay prommy, at least rn ^^)

((also also,,, the tags is just me rambling, apologies))

[ifyourereadingthisblinktwice]

i need to stop forgetting things exist the fucking second they leave my field of vision. why is is impossible for two things to occupy my mind at once especially when im tired. like. i feel like a sim. i feel like actions are being canceled and i just. move on. and completely forget what i was doing moments before. i fucking hate it

[louderfade]

[kalmeria]

CALENDULA NAGISA I GOT CALENDULA NAGISAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!

[designernishiki]

good god its really hitting me that im on my 7th yakuza game. and i started only like. three months ago