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thestrangestthing89 · 3 months ago

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Continuing from my post about Eddie being a manifestation of Will... Billy is another character I think Will manifested. Again, I think the characters that Will created are ones that have a similar backstory to him. So in this case: - Billy has an abusive father who calls him gay slurs, - He is from California (a place Will moves to in S4), - In the beginning of S3 we see a similar thing happen to Billy as what happened to Will in S1 - Billy is being chased in the dark by something, he runs to a phone to call 911, the lights flicker and he ends up flashing into the UD. Billy goes through a similar experience Will does - gets used and possessed by the MF (or the inversion of the MF that is in S3) and hurts the people around him unintentionally. - In El's void in S3, we see that Billy's mother abandoned him with his abusive father and that him and his mother were close at one point. There have been hints from Jonathan that Joyce checked out emotionally and didn't deal with Lonnie very well. We know that Jonathan is resentful about this and how he had to pick up the slack. But maybe there is a part of Will that also blames Joyce for the abuse he endured. It is pretty common for kids who have been abused to blame the other parent for not protecting them however unfair that may be. We do see Joyce since S1 doing everything she can to protect Will but there is some indication that this wasn't always the case and that she doesn't know the full story of what her boys went through. - They share a name, but Billy's personality is a 180 from Will. We see when he was a child that he was a sensitive kid who was close to his mother and he was happy. But then he goes through a lot of trauma and abuse and ends up being an abuser himself. Will on the other hand, is still a sensitive, kind kid in spite of the bad things that have happened to him. This reminds me of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Dr. Jekyll separates out all the evil impulses he has into a different person he creates (Mr. Hyde) so that he doesn't have to bear the burden of those impulses. He wants to achieve moral perfection and learns this is not possible. It fits in with the Freudian themes of the show nicely. Jekyll is ashamed and embarrassed about the things that Hyde does. There are homosexual undertones to this story - because Jekyll doesn't want to talk about the crimes Hyde has committed (at a time when homosexuality was illegal) combined with the fact that there aren't many female characters in the story implies that Hyde was gay and was representing Jekyll's repressed feelings. I think this plays into the reason Billy, Eddie, and El are created. Will is taking out all of the parts of himself he is ashamed of and "fixing" himself. Billy represents hyper-masculinity. He dates and has sex with a lot of girls. Will is making himself be what he thinks men are supposed to be like - dating around, being aggressive and dominating. The id. Eddie is the nerdy part of him and is created the season after Will gets made fun of by his friends for being nerdy. He is ashamed of himself for not growing up like them and Eddie becomes the cooler older kid who likes the same nerdy things Will does. Eddie is a freak but in a cool way. The ego. El is the more feminine side of Will. Will is called a sensitive kid several times and boys (especially in the 80s) would have been shamed for this. She does all the things that Will can't do because he's a boy - date Mike, be emotional (more on this in a different post). She is the hyper-vigilant protector. The superego.

Billy also says something interesting to Max when they are first introduced in S2 - "We are stuck here" in reference to why they are in Hawkins. Which is a story we never got completely. I know there is backstory in the books, but there is no indication this is canon. Being stuck is a big theme on the show and Will himself uses this to describe how he is feeling in S2 during the crazy together scene. In Billy (and Max's) case, the context seems like it's different since they don't explain it when they easily could during this conversation. It's kept a secret so I think it's important. I think Billy is stuck as long as Will is. But Will starts to deal with his trauma in S3 and starts projecting all of his problems onto the characters he's created (Billy and El). In Billy's case, Will no longer needs him so he ends up sacrificing himself to save everyone. Eddie does the same thing the next season. The each served their purpose. I think it's a sign of growth and healing that Will kills them off. He doesn't need to rely on them anymore and is getting stronger on his own. When he starts owning his nerdy side and makes peace with Mike (and Mike responds positively to the D&D themed painting), he no longer needs the external person to put that trait on. And I've said this before, but I don't think S3 is entirely real. Most of it seems like it's happening in Will's head. So Billy being the one who gets possessed and hurt instead of Will also falls in line with healing -the strong, macho guy isn't invincible. Will isn't weak for what happened to him. I think this was his way of coping - imagining a scenario where the bad things happened to someone else and realizing it's not his fault this happened because it could have happened to anyone. Once these characters die they "merge" back into Will. We know Will will be dealing with his abuse head on and that D&D and the party are a focus of the season. I think it's because Will is allowing these things to happen now. He was resisting them or ashamed of them before but isn't anymore. Which is also why I don't think this bodes well for El. But more on that in another post. (also the characters in relation to the created ones are interesting - Max, El's mother, Eddie's uncle - I will probably add more on that later too). Other things to note: - The "We're stuck here" line Billy says to Max in reference to being stuck in Hawkins and hating it there. Billy asks Max who's fault it is that they are stuck there and Max says it's his and he gets angry and tries to run over Mike, Lucas, and Dustin (Will is absent from this scene). Billy and Will don't directly interact in the same way Eddie doesn't interact with Will. El is the exception to this, but their interactions are very odd. They have limited screen time and a pretty superficial relationship.

- Steve tells Billy he talks too much and shortly after Will is struggling to explain himself with words so he uses art. He has all these memories that aren't his and is struggling to explain it. Billy acts like the inversion of Will. Billy is verbal where Will is emotional.

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newspilot · 1 year ago

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LGBTQ Travelers Venture to Places Where Being Gay Is Illegal

A romantic island getaway in the Maldives. A safari in Kenya. A visit to the pyramids in Egypt. Apart from being popular on bucket lists, these vacations have one thing in common: Their destinations have strict anti-L.G.B.T.Q. legislation. In the Maldives, gay sex may be punished with lashes and up to eight years in prison. In Kenya, it can bring a sentence of up to 14 years. And in Egypt, the authorities are known to throw people in jail for simply waving a rainbow flag. Paradoxically, these trips are also all offered by travel companies founded by and catering to members of the L.G.B.T.Q. community. In interviews, the founders of four of these companies, which take a combined total of 3,000 tourists — most of them American — abroad each year, said they were providing a safe way to meet a growing demand for trips to countries that criminalize L.B.G.T.Q. people. “I’m gay and I want to visit these places,” said Darren Burn, the founder of Out of Office, an inclusive luxury travel company. “And if I want to visit these places, then there are other gay people who do, too. So if we can enable them to do it in a fun, exciting and safe way, then that’s exactly what we’re here for.”

A world that isn’t always friendly

By some metrics, certain L.G.B.T.Q. Americans have it easier when it comes to planning their next trip. Same-sex couples tend to have more disposable income because they are less likely to have children and more likely to both be employed, according to census data. Married gay men have the most spending power, with a median household income that is more than $25,000 higher than their straight and lesbian counterparts. Even so, being out and getting out can be at odds in a world where many places are hostile — and sometimes outright dangerous. “There is no place on earth where you can be 100 percent safe while being L.G.B.T.Q., at least while expressing it,” said Lucas Ramón Mendos, a lawyer and the research coordinator at ILGA World, an L.G.B.T.Q. human rights group. “What we can say for certain is that where there is a legal framework that strictly, explicitly criminalizes certain expressions, the likelihood of getting into trouble is a lot higher.” According to ILGA World maps that track the world’s sexual orientation laws, there are still more than 60 countries that criminalize consensual same-sex relations. Punishments range from incarceration to the death penalty. Uganda notably just enacted a law calling for life in prison for anyone convicted of having gay sex, and in some cases even death. Scratching those countries off the list of possible destinations shrinks the globe dramatically: parts of Asia, more than half of African countries, and practically the entire Middle East — with the exceptions of Israel and Jordan — become off-limits. (And that’s not even taking into account countries like China and Russia that target L.G.B.T.Q. people indirectly, by censoring speech, for example.) Yet L.G.B.T.Q. travel companies frequently visit such places. “I’ve never had an issue. I haven’t heard of anyone having issues,” said Bryan Herb, co-founder of Zoom Vacations, which operates small tours in countries such as Kenya, the Maldives, and Morocco, all places where gay sex can bring prison terms. ��There’s no there there.”

Safer for some than for others

While U.S. diplomatic missions help Americans who get in trouble abroad, Angela Kerwin, a senior official at the Bureau of Consular Affairs, said they do not collect data in a way that would allow them to track cases involving L.G.B.T.Q. travelers specifically. “The laws that criminalize L.G.B.T.Q. status or conduct around the world are more often than not used to target and punish people from the country in question,” said Jessica Stern, the U.S. special envoy to advance the human rights of L.G.B.T.Q.I.+ persons. “That’s not to say that L.G.B.T.Q. Americans and their families aren’t at risk when they travel, but we are not the primary targets of those laws.” (For Americans who also carry a passport from the country they’re visiting, this guidance might not be as straightforward, Ms. Kerwin said. They might be treated as citizens by the local authorities.) None of the four travel company founders reported any clients who’d had legal run-ins, though some mentioned minor brushes with locals. Their clientele tends to be older and male, with transgender travelers a rarity. Safety concerns can be especially daunting for transgender people headed abroad. They already face hurdles to updating travel documents and are more likely to live in poverty than other L.G.B.T.Q. people. “I have recently had a flight canceled and they were rerouting me through a very hostile country for L.G.B.T.Q. folks, and I was going to be laid over there for nine hours,” said Jay Brown, a senior executive for the Human Rights Campaign, who is transgender. He asked not to name the country for fear it could hurt working relationships with advocates in the region. “If I had a health care emergency in that country, I don’t know what would happen to me,” he said. Mr. Brown ended up taking three trains and three flights in 26 hours to avoid the layover. “I ran from gate to gate at every airport, and ran from train to train,” he said. “My bag, of course, was not at my destination.” Most countries that criminalize same-sex relations lack a legal and regulatory framework when it comes to gender transition. “I wouldn’t say that because these laws target only homosexual acts, that transgender people are safe,” said Mr. Mendos. “It’s exactly the opposite, actually.”

Pink money in a gray zone

Many countries may just depend on the influx of tourist dollars so much that they’re willing to give tourists — whether straight or gay — special treatment. The tourism industry is a top contributor to Kenya’s gross domestic product and accounts for more than half a million jobs in Morocco. Hospitality also drives the economy in the Maldives, where three local men recently received prison sentences for having homosexual relations, while dozens more have been investigated. “In every country on earth, the law doesn’t necessarily match the reality,” said Mr. Burn, whose company offers package deals for symbolic same-sex marriages and honeymoons in the Maldives, which start at around $5,000 per person. “You know, it’s illegal to drink alcohol in the Maldives, but you go to every resort and you can drink alcohol.” It’s in that gray zone that L.G.B.T.Q. travel companies operate. Yet when they’re lining up suppliers and hiring local workers, they are anything but ambiguous. Robert Driscoll, who has run the small-tour operator Venture Out since 1998, said that to avoid unpleasant surprises, it was important to be “clear with suppliers about what the nature of the group is and making sure that they’re OK with it.” He said that years ago, when he first started taking gay Americans abroad, it wasn’t uncommon for his inquiries to suppliers to go unanswered. Now, he receives emails daily courting his business, some from unexpected places. “We would love the opportunity to work with your organization to create tailored itineraries for your LGBTQ+ travelers in Tanzania,” read a recent email he received from a small safari operator. Under a colonial-era law, Tanzania punishes consensual gay sex with up to life in prison, and in April, the government shut down thousands of websites and social media accounts linked to gay groups and people. Neighboring Kenya, also a popular safari destination, has recently experienced a rise in anti-L.G.B.T.Q. violence. Safaris are among the most expensive trips L.G.B.T.Q. travel companies offer, with prices running into the five digits. Mr. Driscoll, who has led many groups to watch wildlife in Africa, said he recently had a same-sex couple cancel their trip to Tanzania after reading a travel advisory on the State Department website warning travelers about “targeting of L.G.B.T.I. persons.” The Tanzania Tourist Board, as well as the tourism agencies of the other countries discussed in this article, did not reply to requests for comment.

Weighing the risks and ethics

Ms. Kerwin of the Bureau of Consular Affairs said prospective travelers should go beyond the State Department travel advisories and read the agency’s yearly human rights report, which includes detailed information on the situation of L.G.B.T.Q. rights for each country. “Never can you cover every eventuality,” she said. “But if you’re informed, then you can make a decision as to whether or not you actually want to travel to that country.” “Any legal and safety information we provide to clients before they pay us a deposit,” said Robert Sharp, a co-founder of Out Adventures, a small-tour operator based in Canada that serves a largely American clientele. “It is our moral and legal obligation to allow them to decide if it is right for them.” All travel companies surveyed for this article strongly recommend that clients take out travel insurance, and some even require it. Out of Office and Out Adventures also offer 24-hour hotlines to respond to clients’ questions and emergencies. Yet travel companies are not legal firms, and they say that the best they can do is give travelers enough information to make an informed decision. Out Adventures clearly states the laws and limitations of each destination on its website. When traveling to Tanzania, for example, clients are advised to practice discretion since “even heterosexual PDAs are frowned upon,” referring to public displays of affection. The page for Out Adventures’ tour to Egypt, including a Nile River cruise and snorkeling in the Red Sea starting at $5,495 per traveler, explains that “gay dating apps should be avoided” and discourages clients from trying to participate in the “underground gay scene” of the larger cities. The Egyptian authorities have been reported to harass and entrap members of the L.G.B.T.Q. community on social media and torture those in custody. “Not only do we want to protect the group,” Mr. Sharp said, “but we don’t want to put anyone in the local queer community in a situation where they could be at risk because they’re seen with this group of obvious homosexuals.” Gurchaten Sandhu, ILGA World’s director of programs, warned of the dangers of “advocacy tourism,” where travelers get involved in activism at their destination, possibly jeopardizing not only themselves but also those they leave behind when their vacation is over. Calling for travelers to boycott a country could also have unexpected adverse outcomes, Mr. Mendos of ILGA World and others cautioned. While the impulse often stems a desire to help, Ms. Stern said, pushing for this kind of action without making sure L.G.B.T.Q. rights groups in the country stand behind it could lead to a backlash against local L.G.B.T.Q. people and “do more harm than good.” Choosing to visit, on the other hand — even if you can’t be as out as you might want to be — may still have a positive impact on L.B.G.T.Q. people’s lives, at least indirectly. “The travel industry in country after country is often one of the places where L.G.B.T.Q. people seek out jobs and find employment because there is heightened tolerance,” Ms. Stern said.

Quietly promoting change

There is no shortage of companies to pick from when planning a vacation to countries like Kenya, Egypt or the Maldives, but L.G.B.T.Q. travel providers say what sets them apart from mainstream options is not only that they make their clients feel welcome and safe, but also that they direct their resources to handpicked, queer-friendly businesses. “We are putting money in the pockets of more progressive-thinking people and organizations that in the long run can contribute to progress by our definition,” said Mr. Sharp. Additionally, he said, Out Adventures has donated “quietly, behind the scenes” to local L.G.B.T.Q. organizations in countries where being gay is illegal, and is currently giving $50 per traveler to Rainbow Railroad, a nonprofit organization that helps L.G.B.T.Q. people escape state-sponsored violence. Out of Office has a similar program, Mr. Burn said, though he wouldn’t go into detail, citing concerns about the safety of those receiving the donations. Ultimately, Mr. Driscoll of Venture Out said, the decision about whether to avoid travel to certain destinations based on principle was a deeply personal one that travelers had to make for themselves. “It’s easy to feel outraged,” said Mr. Mendos of ILGA World. “I think that that’s a sound reaction. But people should be aware that change doesn’t happen overnight.” Follow New York Times Travel on Instagram and sign up for our weekly Travel Dispatch newsletter to get expert tips on traveling smarter and inspiration for your next vacation. Dreaming up a future getaway or just armchair traveling? Check out our 52 Places to Go in 2023. Source link Read the full article

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littlemixnet · 3 years ago

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To me, a good ally is someone who is consistent in their efforts – there’s a difference between popping on a pride playlist or sprinkling yourself in rainbow glitter once a year and actually defending LGBT+ people against discrimination. It means showing my LGBT+ fans that I support them wholeheartedly and am making a conscious effort to educate myself, raise awareness and show up whenever they need me to. It would be wrong of me to benefit from the community as a musician without actually standing up and doing what I can to support. As someone in the public eye, it’s important to make sure your efforts are not performative or opportunistic. I’m always working on my allyship and am very much aware that I’ve still got a lot of unlearning and learning to do. There are too many what I call ‘dormant allies’, believing in equality but not really doing more than liking or reposting your LGBT+ mate’s content now and again. Imagine if that friend then saw you at the next march, or signing your name on the next petition fighting for their rights? Being an ally is also about making a conscious effort to use the right language and pronouns, and I recently read a book by Glennon Doyle who spoke of her annoyance and disappointment of those who come out and are met with ‘We love you…no matter what’. I’d never thought of that expression like that before and it really struck a chord with me. ‘No matter what’ suggests you are flawed. Being LGBT+ is not a flaw. Altering your language and being conscious of creating a more comfortable environment for your LGBT+ family and friends is a good start. Nobody is expecting you to suddenly know it all, I don’t think there’s such a thing as a perfect ally. I’m still very much learning. Even recently, after our Confetti music video I was confronted with the fact that although we made sure our video was incredibly inclusive, we hadn’t brought in any actual drag kings. Some were frustrated, and they had every right to be. You can have the right intentions and still fall short. As an open ally I should have thought about that, and I hadn’t, and for that I apologise. Since then I’ve been doing more research on drag king culture, because it’s definitely something I didn’t know enough about, whether that was because it isn’t as mainstream yet mixed with my own ignorance. But the point is we mess up, we apologise, we learn from it and we move forward with that knowledge. Don’t let the fear of f**king up scare you off. And make sure you are speaking alongside the community, not for the community. Growing up in a small Northern working-class town, some views were, and probably still are, quite ‘old fashioned’ and small-minded. I witnessed homophobia at an early age. It was a common thought particularly among men that it was wrong to be anything but heterosexual. I knew very early on I didn’t agree with this, but wasn’t educated or aware enough on how to combat it. I did a lot of performing arts growing up and within that space I had many LGBT+ (mainly gay) friends. I’ve been a beard many a time let me tell you! But it was infuriating to see friends not feel like they could truly be themselves. When I moved to London I felt incredibly lonely and like I didn’t fit in. It was my gay friends (mainly my friend and hairstylist, Aaron Carlo) who took me under their wing and into their world. Walking into those gay bars or events like Sink The Pink, it was probably the first time I felt like I was in a space where everyone in that room was celebrated exactly as they are. It was like walking into a magical wonderland. I got it. I clicked with everyone. My whole life I struggled with identity – being mixed race for me meant not feeling white enough, or black enough, or Arab enough. I was a ‘tomboy’ and very nerdy. I suppose on a personal level that maybe played a part in why I felt such a connection or understanding of why those spaces for the LGBT+ community are so important. One of the most obvious examples of first realising Little Mix was having an effect in the community was that I couldn’t enter a gay bar without hearing a Little Mix song and watching numerous people break out into full choreo from our videos! I spent the first few years of our career seeing this unfold and knowing the LGBT+ fan base were there, but it wasn’t until I got my own Instagram or started properly going through Twitter DMs that I realised a lot of our LGBT+ fans were reaching out to us on a daily basis saying how much our music meant to them. I received a message from a boy in the Middle East who hadn’t come out because in his country homosexuality is illegal. His partner tragically took their own life and he said our music not only helped him get through it, but gave him the courage to start a new life somewhere else where he could be out and proud. There are countless other stories like theirs, which kind of kickstarted me into being a better ally. Another standout moment would be when we performed in Dubai in 2019. We were told numerous times to ‘abide by the rules’, which meant not promoting anything LGBT+ or too female-empowering (cut to us serving a four-part harmony to Salute). In my mind, we either didn’t go or we’d go and make a point. When Secret Love Song came on, we performed it with the LGBT+ flag taking up the whole screen behind us. The crowd went wild, I could see fans crying and singing along in the audience and when we returned it was everywhere in the press. I saw so many positive tweets and messages from the community. It made laying in our hotel rooms s**tting ourselves that we’d get arrested that night more than worth it. It was through our fans and through my friends I realised I need to be doing more in my allyship. One of the first steps in this was meeting with the team at Stonewall to help with my ally education and discussing how I could be using my platform to help them and in turn the community. Right now, and during lockdown, I’d say my ally journey has been a lot of reading on LGBT+ history, donating to the right charities and raising awareness on current issues such as the conversion therapy ban and the fight for equality of trans lives. Stonewall is facing media attacks for its trans-inclusive strategies and there is an alarming amount of seemingly increasing transphobia in the UK today and we need to be doing more to stand with the trans community. Still, there is definitely a pressure I feel as someone in the public eye to constantly be saying and doing the right things, especially with cancel culture becoming more popular. I s**t myself before most interviews now, on edge that the interviewer might be waiting for me to ‘slip up’ or I might say something that can be misconstrued. Sometimes what can be well understood talking to a journalist or a friend doesn’t always translate as well written down, which has definitely happened to me before. There’ve been moments where I’ve (though well intentioned) said the wrong thing and had an army of Twitter warriors come at me. Don’t get me wrong, there are obviously more serious levels of f**king up that are worthy of a cancelling. But it was quite daunting to me to think that all of my previous allyship could be forgotten for not getting something right once. When that’s happened to me before I’ve scared myself into thinking I should STFU and not say anything, but I have to remember that I am human, I’m going to f**k up now and again and as long as I’m continuing to educate myself to do better next time then that’s OK. I’m never going to stop being an ally so I need to accept that there’ll be trickier moments along the way. I think that might be how some people may feel, like they’re scared to speak up as an ally in case they say the wrong thing and face backlash. Just apologise to the people who need to be apologised to, and show that you’re doing what you can to do better and continue the good fight. Don’t burden the community with your guilt. When it comes to the music industry, I’m definitely seeing a lot more LGBT+ artists come through and thrive, which is amazing. Labels, managements, distributors and so forth need to make sure they’re not just benefiting from LGBT+ artists but show they’re doing more to actually stand with them and create environments where those artists and their fans feel safe. A lot of feedback I see from the community when coming to our shows is that they’re in a space where they feel completely free and accepted, which I love. I get offered so many opportunities to do with LGBT+ based shows or deals and while it’s obviously flattering, I turn most of them down and suggest they give the gig to someone more worthy of that role. But really, I shouldn’t have to say that in the first place. The fee for any job I do take that feels right for me but has come in as part of the community goes to LGBT+ charities. That’s not me blowing smoke up my own arse, I just think the more of us and big companies that do that, the better. We need more artists, more visibility, more LGBT+ mainstream shows, more shows on LGBT+ history and more artists standing up as allies. We have huge platforms and such an influence on our fans – show them you’re standing by them. I’ve seen insanely talented LGBT+ artist friends in the industry who are only recently getting the credit they deserve. It’s amazing but it’s telling that it takes so long. It’s almost expected that it will be a tougher ride. We also need more understanding and action on the intersectionality between being LGBT+ and BAME. Racism exists in and out of the community and it would be great to see more and more companies in the industry doing more to combat that. The more we see these shows like Drag Race on our screens, the more we can celebrate difference. Ever since I was a little girl, my family would go to Benidorm and we’d watch these glamorous, hilarious Queens onstage; I was hooked. I grew up listening to and loving the big divas – Diana Ross (my fave), Cher, Shirley Bassey, and all the queens would emulate them. I was amazed at their big wigs, glittery overdrawn make-up and fabulous outfits. They were like big dolls. Most importantly, they were unapologetically whoever the f**k they wanted to be. As a shy girl who didn’t really understand why the world was telling me all the things I should be, I almost envied the queens but more than anything I adored them. Drag truly is an art form, and how incredible that every queen is different; there are so many different styles of drag and to me they symbolise courage and freedom of expression. Everything you envisioned your imaginary best friend to be, but it’s always been you. There’s a reason why the younger generation are loving shows like Drag Race. These kids can watch this show and not only be thoroughly entertained, but be inspired by these incredible people who are unapologetically themselves, sharing their touching stories and who create their own support systems and drag families around them. Now and again I think of when I’d see those Queens in Benidorm, and at the end they’d always sing I Am What I Am as they removed their wigs and smudged their make up off, and all the dads would be up on their feet cheering for them, some emotional, like they were proud. But that love would stop when they’d go back home, back to their conditioned life where toxic heteronormative behaviour is the status quo. Maybe if those same men saw drag culture on their screens they’d be more open to it becoming a part of their everyday life. I’ll never forget marching with Stonewall at Manchester Pride. I joined them as part of their young campaigners programme, and beforehand we sat and talked about allyship and all the young people there asked me questions while sharing some of their stories. We then began the march and I can’t explain the feeling and emotion watching these young people with so much passion, chanting and being cheered by the people they passed. All of these kids had their own personal struggles and stories but in this environment, they felt safe and completely proud to just be them. I knew the history of Pride and why we were marching, but it was something else seeing what Pride really means first hand. My advice for those who want to use their voice but aren’t sure how is, just do it hun. It’s really not a difficult task to stand up for communities that need you. Change can happen quicker with allyship.

Jade Thirlwall on the power, and pressures, of being an LGBT ally: ‘I’m gonna f**k up now and again’

#jade thirlwall #lgbt

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lavendeerlesbian · 2 years ago

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Ten stages to genocide which you haven't explained at all and you haven't linked me to any sources still. Which trans laws are you referring to? The ones that trample over women's rights to single sex spaces and sports? The ones that make it hate speech to even talk about sex-based oppression and eliminates women's free speech? The ones that make it illegal to even organize any kind of single sex gathering which harms lesbians and gay men on top of women? The laws that argue for genital "corrective" surgeries for children that intersex people have been fighting against for years? The ones that are allowing sex offender males into women's prisons so they can rape and assault female inmates and staff? The ones that are pushing for identity changes being allowed, even in the cases of men on sex offender registries which helps them avoid putting themselves on said registries and helps them to offend again? The ones touted as "trans healthcare" which has nothing to do with regular healthcare for trans people and has everything to do with affirming surgeries and hormones which goes against the Hippocratic Oath? The laws that fight for those procedures to be covered by health insurances which takes resources away from real disabled people that need actual life-saving medicines and surgeries? Those trans laws?

Saying "science evolves, sex is a spectrum because I say so" does nothing to convince me or anyone else on the planet. But yeah let's just ignore that sex-based oppression exists and erase thousands of years of oppression against the female sex! That is definitely how reality works. Intersex conditions also are literally medical conditions, there is no imaginary medicalizing going on.

So like just for the sake of clarity here, are you agreeing that the sex work industry is harmful and should be abolished? Also, even if you claim it's just because transwomen are in sex work (which is a lot less common in the US as opposed to say Brazil by the way), what about all the cases of convicted sex offender transwomen who are placed in female prisons, rape and assault female inmates and staff, serve their sentence, and as soon as they are released identify as men again? Are those women just acceptable casualties for you? Also I literally provided you with sites that log trans crimes and has news articles with individual names and faces attached... Which adds up to hundreds of examples (at least 300) of transwomen who aren't in sex work and who are commiting violent and sex crimes against mostly women and children. Which makes your whole point here moot.

Storme was a butch lesbian and did not identify as a man. She is part of LGB history which is not part of the T. And y'all are twisting the narrative, Fred Sargeant became a cop because he saw how awful cops were and wanted to help change the system. But I have to give you props for not mentioning Malcom as a transwoman who threw the first brick at Stonewall, which is what most of you TRAs lie about. Anyways, Fred Sargeant is protecting gay rights and if you consider his sign "transphobic", then that means the trans narrative is inherently homophobic. Crying transphobia at homosexual people for being homosexual is homophobic.

Okay so animals have neutral sexes and no gender identity which you agree with which is why we used sex based pronouns. And for some reason you cannot also apply that to humans (who are also animals by the way) because you care more about gender identity. You can't treat sex as a neutral thing that only describes what type of body you have. You have to make it about stereotypes or feelings. That is sexist. And also upholds gender and does nothing to abolish it, by the way.

Lol nah you said it in bad faith because you cannot wrap your head around actual rejecting of gender and come to the most convoluted and confusing conclusion which is anyone can claim they are anything instead of just recognizing reality.

How do terfs know that gender is purely a social construct, push the belief to get rid of it, and not see the irony of enforcing pronouns and other gendered terms?

They are legit a part of gender and gender expression. A butch lesbian can preferrably go by Sir and still call himself a woman as much as he can wear a tux and cut his hair short.

Like, I know it's probably because there's a focus on being anti transgender before anything, and when one of the common methods to show acceptance is asking for pronouns, they want to push against it. It's so contradictory though.

"They're based on sex!" Tell that to LGBTQ history and culture that was around before either of us were born. Might as well tell me that women can't wear pants while still claiming to be against gender roles.

#long post #bad faith arguments #trans lies #the moment you admitted you believe sex is a spectrum was the moment I knew it wasn't worth talking to you #there is no conversation to be had and we will never agree #so I am going to let this be my last response #also for future reference if you can't explain why something is stupid and you just call it stupid #it sounds like you can't actually prove anything and are needlessly insulting to make yourself look better

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ms-demeanor · 4 years ago

Text

Some meandering thoughts about jokes about rape and cultural changes in the last decade and a half

Like, don’t get me wrong, I’m really glad we’re in a place now where we DO question rape jokes and it would be much harder to get away with “raping Jonah Hill is incredibly amusing” as the center of a scene the way that you could in 2007-2013 but I do kind of feel like we don’t talk about how sudden that change was enough.

People talk about how you should have always known that awful things are awful but if you’re surrounded by rape jokes and pedophilia jokes all the time and that’s what’s funny to the other kids around you and the adults in your lives and what makes up the jokes in the movies you watch then it’s hard to act like you always knew it was wrong.

Dead baby jokes were a HUGE thing when I was a teen and in my early twenties and sitting around swapping dead baby jokes was just a thing we did, and tossed in among them were things like:

A joke about incest with the punchline “Get off me pa, you’re crushing my smokes.”

This joke about a pedophile murdering a child.

Let’s not turn this rape into a murder.

And hell, look at the activity graph for “soap on a rope” on urban dictionary:

2014 starts a significant taper.

Letterboxd has their “sexual assault against men played for comedy page” and if you sort by release date there’s a downward trend with 2014 as a really stand-out year for rape jokes about men in popular movies:

2010 - 10

2011 - 12

2012 - 14

2013 - 12

2014 - 18 (jesus, which includes a prison rape joke in “Paddington”)

2015 - 9

2016 - 9

2017 - 11

2018 - 15

2019 - 4

2020 - 1

(this is of course with the caveat that this is only what has been documented so far)

Shock porn sites used to be a thing and they used to be a COMMON thing. A thing that would get remixed and have late night hosts make jokes about them and that got parody music videos.

So on the one hand I was really glad that in 2010 the hacker conference WASN’T asking me to make a rape joke on their tee shirt, but since Pool 2 Girl came up at every single “this is what defcon is about” discussion and some of the guys from the con had printed up “lemonparty.org” stickers to slap up around town it wouldn’t have been *surprising* if they’d been asking for that.

If you were a teenager in 2005 would you have known how much of a dick move goatse-ing people was? We didn’t have the same culture of trigger warnings (not that I disapprove of trigger warnings, they are good and I like them) and there was very much an attitude online at the time of “if you can’t handle it log off.”

I think the fappening was the turning point for a lot of this stuff - I think that was a big cultural moment that changed a lot of people’s attitudes really quickly and I’m seeing echos of that with what Chris Evans is dealing with right now: people are a lot faster to say “oh, that sucks, don’t be an asshole, report people for posting the pics” while I remember sitting and arguing in an imgur thread because there were a bunch of people saying “if you don’t like it don’t take nudes” about the celebrities who got caught in the icloud leak.

People look at Shane Dawson’s (admittedly gross and incredibly inappropriate) behavior with a poster of Willow Smith and act like it’s unprecedented***** but as someone who remembers not only Olsen Eighteenth Birthday countdowns but ALSO the jokes about fucking the Olsen twins that came BEFORE they were legal that’s just bizarre. Seeing people my age and older react to James Gunn’s pedophilic twitter jokes like they’re worse than Jay Leno’s jokes about Michael Jackson (which were made on TV! Across America! On a major network!) is just. It’s bizarre.

I’m glad we are where we are now, I’m glad that making rape jokes in public or jokes about incest or pedophilia (or murder or abortion) is less common and less okay (especially in children’s media, jesus fuck) and more likely to get criticized.

But I’m also pretty sure I’m going to get called a rape apologist by *someone* for saying “2010 was a different time, rape jokes were more common and we didn’t realize how shitty it was” when it really was a different time and rape jokes were more common and most people didn’t realize how shitty it was. I sure didn’t. I do now, and I’m glad I do now. But pretending that we should have ALWAYS known this, pretending that this was NEVER acceptable, pretending that it WASN’T a different time is ignoring the fact that for over a decade there was an entire genre of pedophilic rape jokes (that were frequently also racist) centered around one celebrity and that people told these jokes in public and in pop culture *all the time.*

Does that make it right? Fuck, I don’t know, shit is relative. It was still largely acceptable to electrocute gay kids and people tossed around the word “faggot” pretty freely. Mean Girls is full of jokes about how awful it is for people to think you’re a lesbian and Superbad is full of jokes about getting people shitfaced so they’ll sleep with you (so date rape) and there’s an entire “cute comedy” from the 80s starring Kurt Russel and Goldie Hawn that’s an extended rape-by-fraud joke. I think that as a whole we’re better now as people than we were in 2010 and the 90s and the 80s and the 50s and I don’t think that someone who made a sexist joke in the 80s is irredeemably evil and I don’t think people making rape jokes in the 2010s are rape apologists in 2020 and I wish there was a lot more understanding of both history and nuance in these conversations.

*****to be very, very clear Shane Dawson has been filmed kissing underage fans on the mouth and having explicit sexual conversations with his very young cousin - Dawson has done things that go beyond “inappropriate” and fall clearly into “wrong” “bad” “dangerous” “illegal” etc, which is all the more reason that it’s so strange to see people focusing on him fake masturbating on a poster of Willow Smith. YES doing that was gross but why is it even being compared to the way he’s been filmed interacting with fans? The lack of nuance, making “fake masturbating at a poster” and “creating a sexually abused puppet character” the same as “inappropriately touched and kissed minor fans and engaged a young child in explicit sexual conversations” is NOT GOOD. That is a bad thing. Two of those things are tasteless and two of those things are actively harmful and it’s the actively harmful stuff that we should be focusing on and part of why it’s really weird to see shit like “pizzagate conspiracist accuses James Gunn of making inappropriate jokes” like yes Gunn please don’t but can we maybe refocus and talk about the dude who can be pretty significantly assigned blame for a fucking shooting? https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/aug/01/james-gunn-alt-right-marvel-film-director-tweets

Actually, you know what, I thought I was done ranting, I’m not.

It’s purity culture.

YES you should attempt to do less harm with your language, YES you should attempt to not use slurs, YES you should try to avoid making rape jokes. But there’s an entire huge group of people who are willing to drag up rape jokes from a decade when rape jokes were REALLY REALLY common in order to say that nothing you say or do today matters.

And that same group is ALSO really interested in expanding the concept of what pedophilia is to include age differences in adults or liking the wrong style of drawing and it’s a purity culture silencing tactic and can we PLEASE stop pretending that gross, tasteless jokes are the same thing as actually sexually abusing people? Can we stop pretending that pointing out “rape jokes were more common fifteen years ago and I feel bad about it but that’s just the way it was and I don’t make jokes like that anymore” is the same as saying “rape isn’t bad and you shouldn’t make a big deal out of it.”

It’s always good to try to be a less shitty human but if you’re only allowed to grow and improve and be less shitty if you never fucked up in the first place then it’s all just calvinist bullshit and none of us could ever really be saved in the first place.

I dunno, dudes. We got so careful about disapproving of the wrong kind of language that we let a white supremacist concern troll Disney into firing a director who caught the attention of the alt right by shit-talking the president.

I think perhaps we need to reexamine some strategy here.

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entity9silvergen · 3 years ago

Text

I recently asked reddit for some LGBT history from countries other than the US. Here’s what I got:

Germany

The Weimar Republic was surprisingly accepting of "alternative lifestyles."

During the Weimar Republic, Germany had a pretty active LGBTQ scene, with some major films and songs being produced, despite it still being illegal at the time. However, there was also a push to decriminalize homosexual behavior which sadly wasn't passed as the Nazis came to power.

This was based of two factors: after WW1 the authoritarian culture of Prussia sorta received a long overdue pushback. People were kinda sick of it, especially since these losers led them into a seemingly pointless war to begin with. Second: A LOT of men died in WW1 - and the army did not exactly prefer LGBT people. So with a lot of regular folks dead, the percentages of the total populace was sorta shifted. This also pushed the women's rights movements at the time for a similar reason.

Magnus Hirschfeld was helping trans people transition, crossdressers get crossdressing 'licenses', and generally advocating for and helping the LGBT community in the early 1900s in Germany. Nazis ended up raiding and burning down his research institute.

Hirschfeld was a gay polyamorous man. He was one of the first advocates for trans and gay rights but his work was destroyed by the Nazis.

The institute he headed even did the first modern gender affirming surgeries. The institute was destroyed and many people who were there (including the first known person to undergo complete MtF surgery) were killed by the nazis and the place was little more than bombed out ruins at the end of the war.

More information on the institute

Pre Nazi interwar Germany (Weimar Republic) was pretty open when it came to not only sexuality, but also gender identity. The Nazis put a stop to that & tried to destroy any & all research into either, but, for a brief moment, it was there.

Russia

Pretty sure all Russian LGBT history was erased before we even had a written language, but Russia almost got gay marriage legalized in the first soviet constitution (didn’t happen bc Stalin)

The early soviet period (pre-Stalin) is sometimes called “the first sexual revolution” as opposed to America’s “sexual Revolution” of the 60’s. Broad women’s suffrage, female employment and education, parental leave, advancement of GSM rights & decriminalization of abortion. This unfortunately did not stand the test of time & reactionary sentiment.

Additional Source

UK/ Britain/ England

The lead singer of Judas Priest is gay. The commenter’s father thought it was kinda funny because it didn’t match with his biker aesthetic, but the commenter doesn’t think he considered how much leather he wears on a daily basis

Hell bent for Leather was a track off Killing Machine. It was written by lead guitarist Glenn Tipton (who is straight), but it's fun to find alternative meanings in Priest songs. A second commenter likes to pretend a lot of the lyrics Halford sings are gayer than they actually are.

A couple people mentioned how uncomfortable it was seeing Ru Paul interact with British drag queens because he barely knows anything about British culture.

Ru Paul got angry that a British drag queen hasn’t seen the Golden Girls because “it’s gay culture” and then not five minutes later someone had to explain to him who Alan Turing was.

Alan Turing, who was an incredibly noteworthy figure (He made the Enigma codebreaker machine, which broke the code that was used by Nazis during the war and basically sped up the war by a significant margin. He also set the foundations for artificial intelligence, one achievement he was named for: the Turing Test), was homosexual and prosecuted multiple times because of it

Shakespeare was probably bisexual (some of his sonnets had homoerotic subtext/were sent to a younger man). Plus, Hamlet is gay as fuck.

Sonnet 46 was very gay. Here’s a link!

King James 1st was corrupt and used his position to promote his gay lover to higher positions than he should've gotten.

The 13 year old king James 6th of Scotland and 1st of England fell in love with a 37 year old catholic Franco Scottish man. The king gave the older man so much free shit that other lords started getting salty and his lover ended up converting to Presbyterianism out of loyalty to his young lover. He also fell in love with a man who ''was noted for his handsome appearance as well as his limited intelligence.''

Clearly James was into himbos, and women too.

He had a secret tunnel connecting his bedroom to George Villiers’s bedroom.

His relationship with Villiers was basically common knowledge and a source of much amusement and mockery. He also once said that his relationship with Villiers was equivalent to the relationship that Christ had with John the Baptist

Much more recently, there's obviously JKR and the banning of puberty blockers and Margaret Thatcher opposing LGBTQ+ rights by passing a law meaning you couldn't 'promote homosexuality'.

Prince Philip was a racist twat (and probably a huge homophobe knowing him).

Gay marriage only became legal in 2014.

The Wolfenden Report was published in 1957, and it recommended the decriminalization of homosexual acts between consenting adults. It was a huge topic of public debate, and ultimately led to the Sexual Offences act of 1967, which legalized sexual acts between consenting men aged 21 or over in England and Wales (sexual acts between women were never explicitly criminalized). Scotland decriminalized sex between men in 1980, and Northern Ireland in 1982.

For a totally batshit real-life bit of gay history, check out the show A Very English Scandal. It's about a politician, Jeremy Thorpe, who put a hit out on his former lover who was threatening to go public with the fact they had had a relationship.

Austria

Gay marriage was legalized in Austria about 3 years ago. The worst thing is that it'd have staid illegal if the Supreme Court wouldn't have jumped in and declare it to be unconstitutional.

Austria did have something called "partnership" which was where gay couples could officially register with the state as couples but not receive any of the benefits of married het people

They still have super backwards Transphobic laws requiring for example "real life experience" to get even diagnosed. Basically you're forced to be and live as feminine/masc as possible and a doctor them judges if you're femme or masc enough. It's torture

Australia had widespread, over 60% approval of gay marriage for well over a decade before the government legalized it. The governments were actually going against the people for a very long time by denying it.

Taiwan/ Hong Kong/ Mainland China

When Taiwan recently legalized gay marriage, their official statement was something along the lines that they were casting off Western-imposed values and returning to their own traditional values and the entire western lgbt community ridiculed them in a "if that's what you need to tell yourself" sort of way but it's actually the truth.

Prior to western colonization, the Imperial Chinese attitude toward sexuality was not dissimilar to Greco-Roman attitudes in that a man must marry a woman to beget legitimate heirs but whatever else he does on the side is his own business. It wasn't until Victorian colonizers came along and imposed homophobic attitudes on China that China started treating gays like abominations. In Taiwan, Hong Kong, and Mainland China, as indeed most of the world, homophobia is a western value imposed by colonizers.

Bonus history: there is an actual saying in Arabic that was in widespread use across the Middle East and North Africa for thousands of years from classical antiquity until European colonization. The saying goes "Women are for babies, [young men] are for fun."

The commenter specifies that this means “college-aged twinks,” not children

Another commenter speculates about when homophobia arose in China and how. They also add that in Rome, bottoms were stigmatized.

There’s a story of Emperor Ai of the Han dynasty & him cutting off his sleeve for his boyfriend

There is also a god worshipped in Taiwan, the Rabbit God Tu'er Shen, whose domain is managing love and sex between same-sex attracted people. He is meant to be the incarnation of a soldier from the 17th century, who fell in love with an imperial inspector and spied on him bathing, and was tortured and killed by that official because he was offended by the spying. A villager from the soldier's hometown dreamed that Tu'er Shen appeared to him and said that because his crime had been love, he had been appointed to manage the affairs of gay people. The villagers erected a secret temple to the soldier, and people have been praying to him ever since.

South Africa

South Africa became the first nation in the world to explicitly prohibit discrimination based on sexual orientation in its constitution. It was also first country in Africa to legalize same sex marriage in 2006. What really set them back for so long was apartheid.

There is some speculation that that Shaka Zulu was gay since he never took any wives

South Africa's post Apartheid constitution was the first in the world to outlaw discrimination based on sexual orientation in 1996.

South Africa was also the 5th country in the world and only country in Africa to legalize same sex marriage in 2005.

Even before that the Constitutional Court ruled that sexual orientation was not relevant when deciding child custody in 2002.

Transgender folks have been allowed to change their sex in the population registry since 2003.

Conversion therapy is not illegal yet and public opinion still needs some work.

Spain

In Spain gay marriage was legalized in 2005, now they are considered one of de gay-friendliest countries in the world. The commenter is a lesbian and has never been closeted or directly experienced discrimination for being a lesbian.

In July 2005, Spain became the third country in the world to explicitly legalize gay marriage, after a thirty-year struggle following the fall of Franco's dictatorship, during which most activism was carried clandestinely (as it was illegal).

From 2007 onwards, Spanish [binary] trans people can legally correct the name and sex fields of their IDs and currently, there's a push for a law that would allow for legal recognition of non-binary Spaniards.

Despite the dictatorship in the 60s, there were cinemas that specialized in gay meet ups. Trans women also had ways to get passports so they could go to the US for surgery.

Ireland

In Northern Ireland, same sex marriage only became legal in 2020 and the leader of the most popular party is homophobic transphobic racist and sexist af. In fact, the majority of the party are but some of the quotes from the biggest party leader are depressing.

Same-sex marriage was only legalized in Ireland in 2015. Homosexuality was decriminalized in 1993.

When Ireland legalized same sex marriage by popular vote in 2015, it was still something you got horribly bullied for in schools if you were out. Queer people got an apology from the Taoiseach in 2018, for the suffering and discrimination we faced from the State prior to the legalization of homosexuality.

In the case of trans rights, in 2015 the Gender Recognition Act was signed into law. It allows legal gender changes without the requirement of medical intervention or assessment by the state as long as you are over the age of 18.

Ireland has fines and jail time for anyone found guilty of attempting conversation therapy.

Ireland has seen a lot of progress in LGBT rights in the last 6 years but even up to the 2000s, citizens left their family members and friends to rot for being LGBT+. It still happens all over the country, especially in circles that are still fanatically Catholic. As the Catholic Church has lost the iron grip on the country, people have become more accepting of the LGBT+.

India

The Kamasutra(ancient text on sexuality etc.) has an entire chapter dedicated to homosexuality

The Arthashastra, a 2nd century BCE Indian treatise on statecraft, mentions a wide variety of sexual practices which, whether performed with a man or a woman, were sought to be punished with the lowest grade of fine. While homosexual intercourse was not sanctioned, it was treated as a very minor offence, and several kinds of heterosexual intercourse were punished more severely.

Sex between non-virgin women incurred a small fine, while homosexual intercourse between men could be made up for merely with a bath with one's clothes on, and a penance of "eating the five products of the cow and keeping a one-night fast"

Milk, curd (cheese), ghi (clarified butter), urine, and dung are the five products of a cow

The commenter adds that this is not a terrible punishment.

The Mughal Empire mandated a common set of punishments for homosexuality, which could include 50 lashes for a slave, 100 for a free infidel, or death by stoning for a Muslim

On 6 September 2018 the Supreme Court of India invalidated part of Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code making homosexuality legal in India

Prior to the British colonization of India homosexuality was not all that looked down upon when compared to what happened when the British took over and instituted anti gay laws.

The Hijra (literally means third gender) were seen as normal and have been accepted since long before Christ, as evidenced by the Karma Sutra. The British took videos of them to take back to demonstrate how the Desi were “barbaric”.

Bonsia

In Bosnia, there was a one pride parade that ended with religious extremists ruining it and the police not doing anything. It was supposed to be 5 maybe 3 days long but ended in like 1 or 2.

The Danish astronomer Tycho Brahe mapped out the entire night sky with only his eyes. It laid the foundations of many later scientists, such as Isaac Newton. He was a very rich nobleman, so much so that he owned 1% of Denmark's money. He had a pet dwarf that apparently could see the future, which sounds pretty gay. He was also part of the Elefant Ordning, which consisted of rich and strong Danish men.

Philippines

Despite many attempts to legalize same-sex marriage, the Philippines still didn't budge. Being gay in itself is legal, but same-sex marriage still isn't.

Philippines ,the most Catholic Country in Southeast Asia, has held the largest Pride Parade in Southeast Asia.

Serbia

Serbia didn't have history from about 16th century to 1800's when the 1st revolt happened and failed till 1813's... Then yet another in 1830's for semi independence from Turks, and full in 1836

During the last lingering Ottoman rule over autonomous Serbia, Serbia was one of the very first few countries to have legal mostly everything... it then got removed with like 3 constitution changes and then it didn't move forward for a looong time

Switzerland

Would you have thought that small, conservative Switzerland was a center of the international gay community during the mid-20th century? The magazine "Der Kreis"- the circle - was the only queer magazine in the world that kept publishing during WWII. It was edited in Zurich and distributed internationally, which often meant illegal smuggling, even into nazi Germany. The magazine's annual ball was attended by hundreds of gay men from all over Europe each year. The whole thing was kept strictly secret from the public, though it was known and tolerated by the police.

The Kreis club disbanded in 1967, as repressions grew heavier after a number of murders in the scene had caught the public's attention. By then, other European and American groups took its place, publishing their own magazines.

They made a movie about it.

More info about Der Kreis

As of today, Switzerland doesn't allow gay marriage. A country-wide referendum will be held this fall on gay marriage.

The commenter speculates that gay marriage will be legalized.

A few people expressed surprise that Switerland is socially conservative and several people explained that women’s right to vote was only place in the 70s.

There’s a movie about it

Turkey

A Muslim Persian (born in modern day Turkey) philosopher/mysticist named Mewlana who is known for his sayings on acceptance and love for one another was gay! He had exchanged letters with his instructor Shams and wrote homoerotic poems to him! In Turkey this is ignored by many due to the country's stance on homosexuality

More information

Norway

The commenter’s hometown and the neighboring town arranged their first pride parade/event in 2017, which is a big deal for a small place and one of the local priests went livid and went straight to the newspaper and social media to condemn it. A local rapper wrote a short and to the point article in the newspaper calling him out for all kinds of things which was a great read. Then to top it off, the priest arranged for a "Jesus Parade" in protest to be held the day before the pride parade. Only like five people walked in it, not including the priest of course because he happened to be on vacation in Spain that week. The pride parade itself was a success though! It's become an annual event. Covid has put some breaks on it though, but they're making a documentary this year about the pride celebrations.

Hungary

Hungary has no same sex marriage or transition rights

Police are unkind to protestors

During “commie times,” being queer was illegal so queer people went to the gulag

Belgium

Same sex marriage was legalized in Belgium in 2003 (right after the NL who were the first in the world). The commenter says that same-sex marriage has always felt possible and she is confused about other countries’ actions.

Poland

Polish president on public assembly: 'LGBT is not people, this is ideology'.

Denmark

WHO took their sweet time declassifying being transgender as a mental illness, so Denmark got sick of waiting and became the first country to stop classifying it as an illness.

Australia

In Australia same-sex marriage wasn't legal until 2017.

Portugal

Portugal is know for having one of the most (if not THE most) peaceful revolutions in history back in the 60's, with only 4 deaths total.

Canada

Operation Soap.

Mexico

To learn more, watch Dance of the 41 on Netflix.

Netherlands

NL was one of the first countries to legalize gay marriage in 2001

Sweden

In Sweden they used to classify Homosexuality as a disease during the 20th century so in protest people would call in too gay to work.

New Zealand

When same sex marriage was legalized, the parliament broke into song.

The song

Other

Homosexuality is illegal in 73 countries, some by death or life in prison.

Only one country in Asia has legalized same-sex marriage: Taiwan

FNAF is older than same-sex marriage in the US

Condor Operation

I think this is some important stuff so please reblog so more people can see! And, if you would like to add to or correct anything here, feel free to do so!

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missmentelle · 4 years ago

Text

Just some small ways that the system keeps people down

When we think about social justice, we often think about it in terms of huge, sweeping reforms that happen on a national level: the nation-wide legalization of gay marriage. The end of segregation. Loving v Virginia. Roe v Wade. Many people only vote in federal elections and only keep up with federal politics, thinking that the federal government is what “really matters” when it comes to progress and human rights.

Federal-level politics and landmark court rulings are important, but oppression often happens in much smaller, less obvious ways. It’s in the fine print of the eligibility criteria for disability benefits. It’s in municipal zoning laws. It’s in bank mortgage eligibility policies. It’s in the enforcement of public park bylaws. The things that make life difficult for marginalized communities often come from local bureaucracy, and look something like this: Disabled people effectively do not have the right to marry.

In the United States, when a disabled person marries a non-disabled person, they gain a spouse, but they risk losing something immensely important - namely, all of their benefits. Currently, the government assumes that a non-disabled spouse takes full responsibility for all of their disabled spouse’s needs; it becomes their job to provide the disabled spouse with healthcare, housing, basic needs and assistive devices that they require, regardless of their ability to actually afford any of these things. Obviously, this is completely out of the question for most couples. Medical costs for a person with complex needs can be exorbitant, and the average person just cannot provide things like private home health services and out-of-pocket medical expenses for their spouse.

Unless a disabled person is marrying someone who is independently wealthy, marriage is often out of the question.

As a result, many disabled people simply have no meaningful access to marriage or the legal benefits and protections it provides. Without a wedding certificate, your partner cannot stay with you in the hospital, access your medical information or make decisions for you while you are incapacitated - something that people with complex medical issues may desperately need their partner to be able to do. International couples may have no means of being able to live in the same country. It may not even be possible for couples to live together at all, as the state may decide that that’s a “common-law” situation and strip away disability benefits even without a formal certificate. The people who are most in need of companionship and legal protection are denied access to it because of cruel and outdated laws that were designed with the false assumption that disabled people cannot desirable partners for non-disabled spouses.

Domestic violence victims can be evicted for being abused.

Some cities across America have implemented “nuisance laws” - these are laws originally designed to punish “slum landlords” who don’t try to stop criminal activity or loud parties in their buildings. In cities with nuisance laws, the city tracks how many 911 calls are made to (or about) each address in the city; if an address goes over their yearly limit of 911 calls, the city goes after the property’s landlord, fining them or even threatening them with criminal charges if they don’t make the calls stop. The point of the law is to encourage landlords to keep an eye on their tenants and evict “problem” tenants that disrupt the neighbourhood, and these policies have definitely resulted in a lot of 911-related evictions. And that’s a problem. Because you know who calls 911 a lot? Domestic violence victims.

These laws have made it so that many people experiencing domestic violence have to choose between “help” and “housing”. If your partner is violently attacking you but your landlord has told you “one more 911 call and you’re out on the streets”, what do you do? How do you navigate such an impossible situation? Many victims simply hold off calling for help unless they’re reasonably certain that their partner is going to kill them, which is incredibly and almost indescribably dangerous, and still results in threats of eviction. Even victims who never call for help themselves can still find themselves out in the cold because of these policies - nuisance laws count any 911 calls made about an address, which means that a well-meaning neighbour calling the cops because they hear screams can cost you your housing. The end result is that an already-vulnerable population are either losing their housing or losing access to lifesaving emergency services, and everyone is worse for it.

It’s worth noting that these policies also disproportionately affect disabled, elderly and chronically ill people. When you are medically fragile, you tend to have increased medical emergencies and a decreased ability to safely transport yourself to the hospital without an ambulance. So if 80-year-old diabetic woman uses her LifeAlert bracelet to call 911 three times in a year because she’s fallen down or having a hypoglycemic episode, she could face eviction for going over her 911 limit and being a “nuisance” to the city.

Redlining has shut black people out of wealth-building for decades. How do you build wealth in America? You need credit. If you want to achieve real financial security, you need to convince someone to loan you large amounts of money at a low interest rate so you can use that money to purchase something that will build wealth for you. Let’s say you only have a little bit of money - you go to the bank and convince them to give you a mortgage (which is effectively just a large low-interest loan) so you can purchase a house for yourself. Once you’ve paid off the mortgage and showed the bank how reliable you are, you can go back and ask them for another loan against your house, and use that loan to buy a business, or a second house to rent out for income, or just save your money while your paid-off first house continues to increase in value. When you eventually die, your kids get all the property you amassed with those loans, and they start life in an even better financial position than you did - they can use that property to get even more credit and invest in even more businesses and property. This is how most American families clawed their way into the middle class after the Great Depression - your great-grandfather buying a house in the 1940s is the reason your parents could afford to pay for your college today.

But there is one group that have been systemically left out of that process for decades, thanks to a practice called “redlining”.

Banks decide whether or not they are going to loan you money by deciding how much of a “risk” you are. In the 1930s, bankers determined risk by looking at maps of their cities and drawing lines around particular neighbourhoods to determine how much of a risk they were. Bankers would draw red lines around predominantly-black neighbourhoods to signal that people who lived in those neighbourhoods were not eligible for credit - this was done regardless of their income. Poor white neighbourhoods could get loans, but middle-class black neighbourhoods could not. This meant that black people could not improve their situations - they could not afford to move out of cramped black neighbourhoods, they could not get the money to start a business, and they could not afford to renovate their houses to sell them at a profit. They were effectively shut out of opportunities that their white peers were granted.

Redlining has been illegal for decades, but the cumulative impact of generations of redlining persist to this day. Experts estimate that an average black homeowner today has missed out on $212,023 in personal wealth because of the impacts of redlining. “Zero-tolerance” policies have harmed marginalized and neurodivergent children without making schools safer.

If you’ve attended or worked in a grade school in the last 20 years, you’re probably familiar with so-called “zero tolerance” policies. These policies emerged as a result of the 1999 Columbine school shooting, and are pretty much exactly what they sound like - in the wake of Columbine, schools began taking an extremely hardline stance against violence and bullying, assuring worried parents that they would not tolerate even the smallest hint of violence. In schools with zero-tolerance policies in place, punishments are extremely harsh - just about everything will get you suspended at a minimum. Get in a fistfight at school? Doesn’t even matter who started it, everyone involved is suspended. Throwing food? Suspended. Shouting at someone? Suspended. It doesn’t tend to matter if you were joking around or if you'd been pushed to the brink by a student who has bullied you for months - “zero tolerance” means absolutely zero tolerance, and you are suspended.

But if you ever actually attended a zero-tolerance school, you probably won’t be surprised to learn that these policies don’t actually have any impact on school safety. What they do accomplish is higher rates of school failure and worse overall student outcomes, especially for marginalized students.

And it makes sense. Which students are the most likely to be acting out in school? Students with ADHD, autism and learning disorders. Students with turbulent home lives. Students in foster care. Students dealing with abuse or trauma. These are the students who need to be in school the most, and need extra support from staff and teachers - instead of getting that support, though, zero-tolerance policies send them away from school for several days at a time, where they are unable to access support and fall further behind their peers. School quickly turns into a vicious cycle; students act out because they’re frustrated, they get suspended, they fall behind in class, which leads to more frustration, which leads to more acting out, which means more suspensions, which puts them further behind, etc, etc. Eventually they become so disillusioned that many of them leave school altogether, putting them at a permanent increased risk of unemployment, poverty, and incarceration.

Parking requirements are making cities unaffordable and unlivable for the poor.

Many cities - like Toronto and Vancouver - have mandatory minimum parking requirements written into their city zoning laws. These policies usually require that all residential buildings have at least one parking space available for every unit of residential housing - if you build a 60-unit apartment building, you need to make sure that you also buy enough land for a 60-stall parking lot or build a 60-space underground parking structure.

When you think about the reasons that housing is unaffordable, “parking” might not be one of the first things you think of, but these laws have huge impacts on the cost of housing, and they negatively impact both the city itself and the working-class people who live there. Parking spaces are not free, especially in major cities like Toronto where land is at a premium - an above-ground parking space in a city costs an average of $24,000, while a below-ground space costs $34,000. Every unit of residential housing has $24-34k in parking costs tacked onto it - whether the tenant needs a parking space or not - and you can bet that landlords and developers are passing every penny of that cost onto their tenants.

Parking requirements also decrease the number of units available, which is a problem, because the best way to keep housing affordable is to make sure that you have a lot of it available. A developer who might want to build a 300-unit apartment complex has to factor in the cost of creating at least 300 parking spaces.... so they might scale back to a 100-unit complex instead. Downtown areas that have huge demand for housing and low demand for residential parking are being underutilized because of zoning laws that were created decades ago and no longer reflect today’s reality. Young people, elderly people and urban poor people are increasingly unlikely to own a car, but they are being priced out of walkable neighbourhoods with good public transit for the sake of unwanted parking spaces.

Food safety laws and public property usage laws are making it illegal to feed the homeless.

“Feeding the homeless” should be one of the most uncontroversial things you can do. Giving food to a person who is hungry is one of the most basic ways that humans care for one another. Everything from cheesy Hallmark movies to the Bible reinforces the importance of giving to others in need. But in dozens of cities across America, you can be fined, arrested or even jailed for giving out food to the homeless.

Cities use different justifications to shut down or even arrest community service workers for trying to feed the homeless. Some pass increasingly restrictive “food safety laws”, stating that charities are only allowed to give away hot food, or that they are only allowed to give away sealed and individually-packed meals, or that they are only allowed to feed homeless people indoors (something that community organizations like mine do not always have the resources to do). Restrictions continue to get tighter every year in some places, despite the fact that there are virtually zero recorded cases of a homeless person being harmed by food they received from a registered charity. Food safety laws can also force restaurants and stores to destroy their unsold food instead of passing it out; some have to go as far as pouring bleach over the food they throw out in their dumpsters.

Other cities have used public property bylaws to ban food-sharing on public property, forcing charities to apply for permits to hand out food (which are rarely granted). Justifications for these bylaws vary - some cities give vague excuses about “safety” while others admit that they’re trying to drive homeless people out of their cities - but the end result is the same. Cities are so desperate to be rid of their homeless populations that they’ll criminalize trying to help the homeless, rather than offering stable, affordable housing solutions.

#missmentelle #askmissmentelle #social justice #social work #socialjustice #oppression #sociology #mental health #mental illness #poverty #homelessness #homeless #working class #classism #domestic violence

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i-did · 4 years ago

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hi mlm here. so i want to write andreil smut but im a virgin so i have no idea what exactly sex is like. but i do not want to write it for the.... straight women gaze. what are some things that are accurate to write about. this is prolly super nsfw but i dont know who to ask.

Okay so this response took me literally months, and I'm sorry about that. I honestly was so excited when I got this question. I don't know why I put off responding?? But here I go:

CW for discussion of NSFW, STD’s, and a lil homophobia

I bet a lot of people who write smut are virgins tbh, that's not to insult anyone or anything, but like writing is a non physical way to explore sex and fantasies by yourself, so you’re definitely not alone lol.

So you're MLM and want to write smut, (and others who want to get my opinions on writing non-fetishistic smut).

Porn is porn and can have unrealistic circumstances to fulfill said fantasy, such as anything from people messing around in locker rooms to tentacles.

To get a general sense of what is common in MLM sexuality, (rather than the typical feminine gaze that is seen in smut) looking at gay porn and gay porn categories is good insight.

Bear culture, muscle culture, leather culture, etc.

These are obviously still porn and unrealistic, however being attracted to sweat, jockstraps, and muscles is very common outside of porn.

Bear culture is a body-positive movement that started because of the gay community's fat-phobia, age-phobia, and overall shittyness about body hair.

Leather culture is also really big, it started because of the belief that gay men couldn’t be dominant or “masculine”, even in bed. So in America, leather culture was a way a lot of MLM embraced themselves.

Going to pride, you will see many men wearing those leather harnesses, it doesn't indicate a preference of topping or bottoming necessarily, they're just something mlm wear and has grown quite popular in the culture, I've known some men to say it feels like a security blanket for them.

And I think it’s very important to understand these cultures or at least be aware of them on a base level if you’re going to write gay porn.

Also looking at erotic MLM art made by men, there is Tom of Finland, who was very historically significant, and is the most famous erotic gay artist. There is gay literature, one that openly talks about sex quite frankly is the book “We Both Laughed In Pleasure: The Selected Diaries of Lou Sullivan” which is a series of diary excerpts from a real gay trans man where you follow his life up until he died during the aids epidemic. He talks about sex with partners and discovering himself as well as what being a gay man means to him. He has a real love for sex in a way that is very unashamed and interesting to read about. We know that he wrote the latter half of his diaries with the plan of compiling them and publishing them but he passed away and people in his life carried out this wish for him. He is considered a significant part of gay and transgender history because of this, and his diaries are in LGBT museums.

Reading gay poetry, looking at gay art, erotic, romantic, grungy, whatever, and you will find and see how they portray things differently than when it’s not portrayed by gay men usually. I mean there is a clear difference between yaoi and bara and that's the audience and authors. Some yaoi are made by MLM, (well technically their called gei comi, or gay comics in Japanese)

“Also known as ‘gei comi’ or ‘men's love,’ bara comics are by men, for men. There is a yaoi equivalent to this, and it is called ‘gachi muchi’-- it is written by women, for women.” – myanimelist.net (lol)

but more than 90% aren't. I haven't ever heard of a non-MLM bara artist, but I'm sure there's at least one.

Of course, I've seen things depicting MLM just together pretty realistically that didn't feel like it was written by someone who definitely wasn't MLM, but these scenes tend to be more writing in the general sense of art in the general sense rather than porn, which has a huge gap in characteristics between stuff usually written by MLM vs when it's written by women. (sorry about the binary language here)

I know some people don't like any realism in their porn, but I personally really like small details such as prep being mentioned, foreplay, even acknowledgment of the existence of condoms even if they choose to go without.

Especially as an MLM who lives in America currently, the ever-present acknowledgment and stigmatism of AIDS is around us. We think about it, even when we don't want to. An entire generation of MLM, trans people, and a lot of POC were wiped out. Not necessarily a PWP detail, but including discussion of prep, PrEP (the anti HIV medication) and/or getting tested, even for diseases besides HIV, is a small detail that I think is nice. MLM often have to have a moment when opening up a conversation about sex where HIV is mentioned, our dating apps and hook up apps have sections where you put positive, negative, non-transmissible/undetectable, or prefer not to say. The books take place in 2006 so PrEP didn't exist yet, but also the aids pandemic was happening when they were being born and as young kids, so it wasn't that long ago in society's mind. It's still illegal for many trans people and MLM to donate blood despite that the blood is screened for diseases after donation.

Also, some realism I like is when a character isn't getting their ass ate first in the morning. Like, for me that's a huge turn-off because I think “holy fuck hygiene.” specifically with anal play I just really think even casually mentioning “washing up” or basic prep, or if you want more accuracy/details mention time between last meals or “x only ate a salad, so he would be fine”. It's like a joke in the gay community to eat chili fries or some shit on a date to indicate that either there will be no anal, or if there is you’re not going to be the one to do it, because you just fuckin ate those fries to say so.

A cock just going in without prep and no condom is going to A) hurt very bad the body does not do that naturally and can cause injury B) get shit dick.

An also not sexy detail that is common for sex is just laying down a towel so you don’t have to wash sheets. Lube on hands? Wipe off on the towel that you’re on rn. Laying down a towel is pretty normal especially for anal. But this is if you’re going for a much more playing for accuracy sex scene.

Honestly just writing fingering and prep and stuff like that in my opinion goes a long way and also gives the audience more to read.

Also, sex is way more than peen in hole. Get creative, frottage, mutual masturbation, docking? Idk like thigh fucking, fucking buttcheeks but not hole, handies, blowies, anal oral, Neil doesn’t have to be the only one who gets his ass ate and things don’t have to follow formulas, in fact, they’re better when they don’t.

Sex comes in many forms, and like I’ve definitely been with someone and he took off his shirt and I was like what, because he was skinny and clean-shaven and I didn’t expect him to have nearly as much chest hair as he did. I bet honestly Neil has a massive bush, like fuckin, massive.

Andrew and Neil don’t have to like everything the same amount, Neil could be like “I wanna lick your armpit” and gets really off on it, Andrew is neutral but likes that Neil likes it and agrees even if it does nothing for him physically. Honestly, Neil having a sweat kink imo is pretty fitting lol.

Try not to categorize the characters into “the bottom” and “the top”, or “the man” and “the woman”

This is something I see a lot and pay attention to how “the bottom” tends to adopt traits that are seen in straight porn that are over-exaggerated. I’m not saying it's inherently wrong to write someone as slim, but we know Neil isn't delicate, but I personally wouldn't categorize him as slim. He's a college-level athlete and is definitely muscular and defined, he has some bulk at least, he isn’t model lean for sure imo. You also often see PWP where the bottom makes a bunch of noise and the top makes none, or the top grunts and the bottom mewls, these are things I personally feel gives the bottom the role of a woman in porn. I don’t think Andreil have rough sex necessarily, but I do think when Neil does make noise, it would be because it was practically punched out of him by the feeling, and would sound more like a gasp than a kitten or whatever. There's nothing wrong with writing them both grunting, both of their voices being lower. Someone bottoming doesn’t suddenly magically not have secondary sex characteristics and stubble and body hair or a deep voice or however, they’re like everywhere else.

When I read an over-emphasis on Neil’s slim waist and swaying hips and ass I’m like,,, okay someone please mention Andrew looking at Neil’s dick or bulge or shoulders. As an MLM, what do you find hot about men? I like stomachs and arms and shoulders, jawlines, collarbones, asses yes but like in a different way than how I like women’s asses (I’m bi lol) they are smaller and I like them muscled and squared almost. I look at veins on hands and noses and shoulders and backs, I look at a lot and I honestly don't have a type. But yeah so think about what you like, why you like it, what you might want. Or look at what others like, and why and how they want and like it.

what would Neil like, how would he feel about it? And Andrew. I kinda feel like Andrew is low-key masc 4 masc but that's just me lmaoo. Anyways, good luck writing.

#aftg #ask #fandom psychology #fandom culture #osha violation #mailob

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southeastasianists · 4 years ago

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Carolyn* can never get out of her head the memory of her parents bringing her to conversion therapy. The transwoman from South Sulawesi was 13 then, and society expected her to identify as male in accordance with her biological sex at birth.

“Deep inside, I kept telling myself that I’m not sick, that I’m okay,” she recalled.

Carolyn experienced ruqyah firsthand, a form of conversion therapy imbued with Islamic exorcism that is common among Muslim communities in Indonesia. Carolyn’s parents explained away her feminine expression as the work of a malevolent female demon.

At the time, the teenager did not fully grasp the situation she was in. She agreed to go along with her parents’ wishes due to her deeply embedded fear of sin.

Carolyn was taken before the local cleric, who prayed to expel the female demon in her body. The cleric also asked her parents to leave her with him for a few days so she could undergo several rituals.

“But at that time, I refused. I wanted to go home and didn’t want to be there. I was fine, I cried and said to my mom, ‘Mom, I want to go home, I’m fine,’” she said.

After begging her mother, Carolyn’s mother finally agreed to send her home on one condition: she had to stop expressing feminine traits and stop hanging out with her female friends. Carolyn repressed her feminine expression for several years after that day.

“To be honest, I felt very tortured. I felt very tortured mentally,” Carolyn confessed.

Carolyn said she placed a lot of pressure on herself over the years. She never felt that she was a man. She was always more comfortable expressing herself as a woman. In the final year of high school, Carolyn decided to stop lying to herself and her family. She ran away from home and learned to become a hairdresser at a salon that accepted her gender expression.

In the early days of Carolyn’s emancipation journey, her past and concerns over her identity continued to haunt her. Not a day went by that she didn’t fear persecution, socializing with others, fully expressing herself, all the while saddened by the irreparable burned bridge with her family.

Even now, at the age of 32, Carolyn is still traumatized by her conversion therapy experience. She gets easily triggered by watching religious TV shows or films that feature ruqyah scenes.

But ultimately she believes that she made the right choice, because nothing can take away her freedom to fully express herself as a woman and her achievement of becoming a fully functioning adult in a society that generally does not tolerate her people.

“I also feel comfortable and feel very relieved that in the end, I can accept myself as a transwoman. I feel like I have found myself. This is me, I am a transwoman,” she stresses.

In contrast to Carolyn, Sofia*, a lesbian living in the capital, was encouraged by her family to undergo ruqyah when she was old enough. By that time, she was mature enough to make her own decisions; and so she ran away from them.

“At that time, I was 25 years old and I was studying for my master’s degree. My position was quite privileged, right?” Sofia said.

Living in Jakarta, Sofia was more exposed to open discussions on the issues of gender and sexuality. When her mother asked her to go to therapy, Sofia was already certain about her sexual orientation. Furthermore, she had been involved in the advocacy for gender and sexuality issues.

“So I think there was nothing to lose at that time, and my identity is the core of my life,” she said.

However, Sofia’s refusal for therapy did not sit well with her family. She said they still pressured her “recover” to the point that they used violence against her.

“But I didn’t want to. I insisted because they already know me as a lesbian, so why do I have to back off?” she said.

Sofia believes that her knowledge of diversity in gender expression and sexual orientation was one of the biggest sources of courage that emboldened her to emancipate. If LGBTQ+ people are exposed to the same knowledge, Sofia said, they will be able to accept their identities and acknowledge that they’re not the problem — homophobia and conversion therapy are.

“We must fight together to convince the world that being gay is okay. You need to learn about yourself. You’re not sick. It’s society that’s sick,” she added.

Ika*, a transwoman from North Sumatra, experienced conversion therapy when she was 13, 17, and 18. The methods that she went through were quite diverse, ranging from ruqyah, to burial rituals, admission to Islamic boarding schools, and goat sacrifice.

None of them worked. And she said she had to live with the constant pressure from her parents to get rid of her feminine expression, which, according to them, was also the work of a demon.

“What should be removed from my body? Because according to their assessment, there is an evil spirit who made me like this,” Ika said.

“In my opinion, conversion therapy is bullshit.”

Ika now works for an NGO advocating to end HIV discrimination and stigma suffered by trans communities.

‘Individual will’

Conversion therapy is not a new phenomenon in Indonesia, but the matter was hotly discussed recently when several Indonesian queer activists, including Lini Zurlia and Kai Mata, received targeted ads on social media encouraging them to undergo conversion therapy.

“It feels like I was targeted by a group of people. It made me upset, especially because this is very sensitive regarding LGBTQ+ rights in Indonesia,” Kai Mata said.

“What I think the government should do is to make it illegal. I also think that LGBT people in Indonesia deserve the right to live in this country without fear.”

Attempts to contact the conversion therapy service through the ad failed as of the time of this article’s publication. Another conversion therapy center in Jakarta, which claims to use hypnotherapy as one of its “healing” methods, did not come across like it has a vendetta against LGBTQ+ people despite providing the harmful service.

“When does sexual orientation become a problem? It happens when the values that are taught [by people’s environment and family] are different from their sexual orientation,” therapist Adrianto Darma Setiawan said.

Adrianto claims to have treated around 2,500 patients in the last 12 years. About 20 percent of these patients are (or were, if he succeeded) gay, lesbian, or bisexual. The standard therapy to “heal” sexual orientation consists of about about five to six hypnotherapy sessions lasting around three hours per session.

Adrianto said that some of his patients underwent therapy out of their own accord, but most were there due to encouragement or pressure from relatives. The therapist did not say how many of his patients he managed to convert, but said that “recovery” depends on the will of the individual.

The government’s failure

Imam Nahei, a commissioner at the National Commission on Violence Against Women (Komnas Perempuan), said that LGBTQ + groups in Indonesia still have a long way to receive adequate protections from the government. For as long as homophobia prevails in Indonesia, conversion therapy will remain as one of the most harmful and real threats that haunts people from minority sexual groups in Indonesia.

Nahei said that conversion therapy is an obvious human rights violation, yet the state, which should be responsible for protecting all of the country’s citizens, has not done anything to protect LGBTQ+ people from the practice.

“The state has not done anything because, in Indonesia, this issue is still very controversial as it is associated with dominant religious views,” Nahei said.

There’s little hope for progress in this regard when homosexuality and alternate forms of sexual expression are still seen as a deviation or a disorder by the country’s lawmakers, such as House of Representatives (DPR) Commission VIII Deputy Chairman Marwan Dasopang.

Marwan supports the existence of conversion therapy in Indonesia. Not only that, he wants DPR to eventually pass legislation allowing the state to provide the service to the public. If conversion therapy was normalized, he argued, patients would not experience extreme psychological trauma, such as from being forced to “recover” by their parents.

“It needs to be regulated,” Marwan said, adding that discussion on the regulation of conversion therapy are still in their infancy.

Indonesian policy makers, and even psychiatrists, have long gone against the scientific fact that homosexuality and other sexual identities are not a disease or disorder. Their stance have emboldened homophobia, which, in turn, has fostered the continued existence of conversion therapy.

Riska Carolina, director of Advocacy and Public Policy from the Support Group and Resource Center on Sexuality Studies at the University of Indonesia (SGRC UI), said among the many forms of conversion therapy in Indonesia, most are performed with ruqyah. Others who aren’t forced to go the conversion therapy route are still made to see shrinks who practice with heavy religious influence, hypnotherapists, or admitted to religious boarding schools.

“[Conversion therapy] is a threat to the LGBTQ+ community. It is persecution to the LGBTQ+ community. It violates their basic human rights. LGBTQ+ people are not a disease,” she stresses.

Riska believes that regulating conversion therapy would violate the minority groups’ rights even more than they have suffered. Even if the therapy is carried out based on patients’ willingness, Riska argued that it still validates the idea that LGBTQ+ people have mental disorders.

“Conversion therapy must be banned. It is more necessary to provide protection, even though I know that protection is still a long way off. So I prefer that, at least, [the government] treats us equally and gives us affirmative action,” she said.

“I’m ashamed to know that Indonesia is very late in terms of acceptance and it’s already 2021. You don’t need to like LGBT people, but you also don’t need to discriminate against us, especially to the level of torture. What you do with conversion therapy is torturous.”

*Carolyn, Sofia, and Ika’s real names have been omitted, at their request, to protect their identity.

#Southeast Asia #Indonesia #Conversion Therapy #LGBTQIA Rights #Trans Rights #LGBTQIA Issues #Trans Issues

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feargender · 3 years ago

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I feel like queer people in their late 30’s really did grow up in a different time; just to start, many of us didn’t think we’d ever be able to legally marry someone of the same gender in our lifetimes!

Public acceptance of same-gender couples has skyrocketed in the last few decades, and public awareness (although not necessarily acceptance) of transgender people has dramatically increased as well.

In many ways, younger queer people do have it easier; it’s a lot easier to find resources and connect with other people like us than it used to be, and there are actually places and schools with explicit policies against bullying LGBTQ people when that didn’t used to be a Thing. People are now aware that puberty blockers exist and trans minors never used to have that option 30 years ago!

Insurance coverage for transitioning was extremely sparse and practically nonexistent which meant many trans people couldn’t fully transition, and now many states require insurance companies to cover trans surgeries! I would have never been able to medically transition in the 90’s because I’m poor, but today my Medicaid covers it.

But that doesn’t mean that everyone universally has it easy now, or erase the fact that new and different struggles are more common now that increased visibility has also led to increased hate against certain groups. It’s a different issue than the isolation and invisibility of the past, but still an issue.

I don’t disagree, many things have improved. But the attitude many queer adults (ppl in the 30s range) have is very dismissive. My post was vague but I was referring to people who say things like “when I was in high school before being queer was cool” or like “congrats to the queer youth for having accepting parents but” (these are both sentiments I’ve seen on Twitter and tiktok). Those are very dismissive, especially to non cis and non white queer youth, disabled queers, etc.

Most of my friends have actively hostile parents regarding their queerness and there is absolutely an issue of bullying in school and even if there are “policies” against it, the staff don’t do anything. Legally you can enter into same gender marriages, but if you’re disabled you might lose your benefits and as a trans person it’s still extremely expensive to get your gender markers changed on your legal papers and ID, in some parts of the country. Where I live I can’t get my gender marker changed unless I get SRS. Polyamorous people can’t get married, and in some states it’s literally illegal for a married couple to cohabitate with a third partner.

States are actively making laws that will make it difficult or illegal for trans people under 18 to transition. There are more things I could list here.

It just feels very much like queer adults move out of their parents’ houses or their hometown and things get better for them, so they forget things haven’t gotten better for everyone. Just because cis, monogamous gay people can marry under certain circumstances doesn’t mean equality has been achieved. And it’s extremely belittling to hear from people within my own community that it has. I know that’s not what you’re specifically saying but that is very much a sentiment many people have.

#anonymous #the void reaches back

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violetwolfraven · 4 years ago

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Write Out Some Colors

@the-gay-trashmouth this is a gift for the newsies filmiversary exchange! You asked for newsbians getting together in any au and I decided to do it in my superpowers/rebellion au!

@newsiesgiftexchange one gift down, one to go!

Ngl I’m super excited to flesh out my take on Sarah’s personality here!

Tw: non-graphic injuries, mentioned abusive parents, war-like elements.

...

Sarah had thought she’d seen it all. A 15-year-old who could pull weapons out of nowhere, a 13-year-old who could see the future, even her own twin revealing out of nowhere that no, her own powers hadn’t been misfiring, he did have powers too and could talk to animals and had never told her.

All three of the kids in their family had powers, which made them illegal, which meant they were on the run with a handful of other kids with powers, whom they’d met through a boy Davey met in jail.

Strangely, that situation had worked out okay, as it turned out Jack Kelly was pretty good at keeping a gang of a couple dozen kids safe, and he didn’t have a problem with adding the Jacobs siblings to the mix.

Davey was probably the least-powerful of them, as he could communicate with animals of all kinds, but that didn’t mean they had to do what he said. Les was the most powerful, able to convince anyone to do anything, and Sarah was squarely in the middle despite technically being the oldest.

Her power was that she could see auras. Read them to know what kind of person she was dealing with, who they cared about, and what their powers were if they had any. Occasionally, she could drain power from an aura to put a person to sleep or even kill them, though a general rule of their gang was that they didn’t kill unless absolutely necessary.

Given the information she learned from auras, Sarah could literally see the tension between certain pairs in the group. She could see when they fell in love and instantly tell what power-levels they were dealing with when they met up with other gangs of powered kids. She’d pretty much seen it all.

Sarah had, however, never seen an aura like the one surrounding a girl she didn’t recognize, who was accompanying Spot and Hotshot on a meeting from Brooklyn.

Bright magenta, a glow of power that flickered and rippled in a sphere around her. Not quite as bright as Spot and Hotshot, but powerful nonetheless.

The girl herself was maybe a year or two older than Sarah, with red curls and brown eyes, a hard gleam in there like most Brooklyn kids. Unlike Manhattan, that gang didn’t have qualms about killing if they had to.

The way her aura moved suggested that she wasn’t especially attached to either of her friends yet. Probably a new kid. And the contained energy of it, the way it didn’t quite disperse into the air like, say... a pyro’s, was similar to Jack’s, like it needed to be consciously manifested by an action like drawing or something.

To say that Sarah was curious was an understatement.

Analytically minded in a way that made her good in fights, she liked knowing all possible variables. And she had no idea what power set they were dealing with, with this girl, so naturally she wanted to find out.

But while Jack was talking to Spot about something the Brooklyn and Manhattan gangs could potentially work together on and Hotshot was hanging out with one of the Guzman twins, Specs was already making friends with the new girl. They seemed to be getting along pretty well.

Sarah was going to go over to join the conversation, but... she wasn’t the most diplomatic in the group.

She was on good terms with Spot, but not great at making friends. And that girl was almost definitely a new kid, so it was probably better for relations between gangs for her not to try too hard to figure her powers out and scare her away.

She didn’t even find out her name until after Brooklyn left, when she asked Specs.

“Her name’s Katherine,” he responded, “Katherine Plumber. Nice enough, I guess, for a Brooklyn kid. She’s 18. A bit of a late bloomer, I guess. Apparently Spot considers her some kinda secret weapon.”

Brooklyn was a powerful gang, so if Katherine Plumber was considered special by their standards, that meant she had to be a serious powerhouse.

But, Specs didn’t know what her powers were. Which was rare because Specs was widely considered so trustworthy that he knew pretty much everything about everyone.

It wasn’t unheard of for one gang to turn on another, so Sarah figured it was safest to find out, which was definitely the only reason why she offered to come the next time Jack went over to Brooklyn to talk to Spot.

Screw Jojo and Albert’s laughter. She was only scoping out a potential threat. Power sets she’d never seen before needed to be planned for.

Specs wasn’t there this time, so Sarah got the chance to talk to the new girl alone.

Katherine Plumber was... really funny. And sarcastic. And she’d discovered her powers later than most and therefore was new to this world, but she was figuring it out quickly. She was smart. A fast learner.

Her aura was even more fascinating up close. The energy had an unexpected chill to it, kind of like mint—definitely similar to Jack’s—and Sarah was very curious because it clearly wasn’t the same power set. Jack’s power of bringing drawings to life was so unique that no one had ever heard of anyone else with the same one.

But Katherine wouldn’t demonstrate hers, although she accepted Sarah’s invitation to go on a scouting mission the next week.

And though staking out an office building was dull and boring, she still wouldn’t demonstrate her powers. Fascinating and frustrating.

It was amazing, how she always found a reason not to show Sarah what she could do. There was always a counter argument, always an excuse. And Sarah had just as many ways to ask for demonstrations, so they were constantly intellectually challenging each other. And they were spending a lot of time together, just because Sarah kept offering and Katherine kept accepting.

“You’s got a crush on her!” Albert teased as he and the others cackled after she explained how she had plans with Katherine again this weekend.

“I do not,” Sarah retorted, “I’m being practical for Manhattan’s future!”

No matter how Albert and Jojo and Les and even Davey laughed, it was only to find out how big of a threat she was in case Brooklyn ever became a rival.

2 missions became 3, became 6, became 10, until Sarah could count 27 excuses she’d made up to see Katherine in 2 months and she still didn’t know what her powers were.

Until Manhattan’s hideout got raided while Katherine happened to be over visiting, and as everyone else scrambled to their defense positions to let the less-powerful and younger members of the gang escape, Sarah saw her whip out that little notebook and pen she always kept in her jacket pocket.

Like over a bog, we need some fog

The thick mist rolled in out of nowhere, and all of Manhattan escaped, following Katherine to Brooklyn’s latest hideout. Spot was willing to let them stay until they found a new place of their own. After all, they were on the same side.

Only after she’d helped Jack conjure replacement bedding and supplies for the stuff they hadn’t had time to save did Katherine sit down with Sarah off to the side and explain exactly what she could do.

“I have to write it in verse for it to happen,” she explained, “Rhymes. That’s why I didn’t notice I could do anything until I was 17.”

She explained that she’d pretended she didn’t have a power at all for almost a year, until her 2 closest friends found out and told her it was too dangerous and she had to run away before her parents found out, because they would inevitably find out if she stayed.

Remembering how her parents had told her and Davey to take Les and run for their own safety when she was 16, Sarah was inclined to agree. Powers had a tendency to come to light eventually, no matter how you tried to hide them.

Katherine was a real powerhouse. She was like Jack—Sarah was right—just slightly to the left. A creator. She had endless potential, and power like hers was bound to show through.

However, some powers were good for hiding, and Kenny and Blink had a place for Manhattan to move into within a week.

Sarah was surprised about how she... wasn’t excited about that, and she told Race as much, figuring he would understand. It was common knowledge, at least among the older kids in Manhattan, that he was closer with Brooklyn than any of them.

Plus, Sarah could see it. She could see the way his aura moved around a certain Brooklyn boy, trailing towards him and tangling pale blue with dark red, like all they wanted was to hold each other close.

It didn’t make her jealous at all, being able to see who was in love with who and that it was requited. It didn’t matter that powered people rarely lived past 21 and Sarah was 16 and unlike many of her friends, she hadn’t found anyone yet. She was happy for him that Race had that.

“I’d like to stay, yeah,” he admitted, “Brooklyn’s... part of my heart’s always gonna be here. But Manhattan’s my home. My family. ‘Sides, Jack and Crutchie needs my help runnin’ things.”

In the end, that conversation was completely unhelpful, because Race’s main reason for leaving was that he was one of the gang’s seconds. Sarah wasn’t a second. She wasn’t staying out of responsibility.

The only responsibility she really had was to Davey and Les, and... did they really need her?

“You wanna stay, don’t you?” Davey guessed randomly the day before Manhattan moved out of Brooklyn’s hideout, “Stay in Brooklyn.”

“With Katherine,” Les added.

This time, neither of them was teasing.

“I’m thinking about it,” Sarah admitted, “I’m not sure if I should.”

To her surprise, Davey shook his head quickly, “No, Sarah. If you wanna stay I think you should stay. Especially if the only thing you’d be coming with Manhattan for’d be me and Les.”

“Yeah, we’ll be fine without ya.”

“Thanks, Les.”

“I mean we’s got Jack, and Crutchie, and all the rest of Manhattan. You don’t have to worry ‘bout us, Sar. You wanna stay with Kat, so you should.”

Sarah was conflicted until the day they actually left, and though her bag was packed, same as the rest of them, she stood at the doorway of the hideout watching her friends leave in small groups to sneak to Manhattan’s new home for an unreasonable amount of time.

Fuck it. She knew where they were going. She could visit. Her brothers got more powerful every day, same as her. She and Les had survived just the two of them for a while before Davey broke out of jail and brought Jack and the gang into their lives. The boys had each other and Jack and the gang. They would be fine without her.

So Sarah stayed, and she was pretty sure Spot and the others knew why. If she didn’t know any better, she could swear the king of Brooklyn was a little jealous that she was free to. It was nice to get to know him better. They’d always gotten along well, but building a real friendship meant they found out how kickass of a pair they could really be.

She wasn’t sure if Katherine knew why she’d stayed. Her aura gave away nothing but surprise.

The only aura Sarah had trouble seeing was her own.

It was a periwinkle color when she cared to stretch her powers to see it, it had barely any glow, and it moved like a kind of fog, spreading out and weaving through others’ energies, a little bit of it always lingering around the people most important to her even more than others’ auras ever did.

Katherine’s aura was so bright that it was even harder than normal to perceive her own.

But no matter how she denied it to her friends and brothers... she could still see traces of periwinkle flickering around and tangling with the magenta.

“So, you decided to stay,” she noted, and Sarah gave up on trying to see what she was feeling about that, because Katherine’s aura had the contained energy of a creator. Like Jack, it was hard to read her because her aura hardly moved at all.

“I did,” Sarah responded, trying to gauge her reaction the old fashioned way; through her face.

Unfortunately, the difference between the two creators was that Jack wore his heart on his sleeve and his emotions in his eyes, and Katherine, of course, was making things difficult. As usual.

“You’re not going to ask me why?” she asked after a couple seconds of silence.

“It’s because we make such a good team, isn’t it?”

“No, it’s because we all know Spot and I would be the ultimate power friendship.”

Katherine laughed, “I can tell you’re kidding, but you’re not wrong.”

Sarah was strongly considering making some clever remark again, but after thinking about it in the loaded silence for a couple seconds...

“What would you say if it was something like that? Us being a good team.”

She definitely wasn’t holding her breath while she waited for her response.

“I’d say we are pretty kickass together,” Katherine answered, “Maybe even more than you and Spot.”

Sarah was obvious about it intentionally when she gave her a once-over, and she saw Katherine smirk mischievously.

“Definitely more than me and Spot.”

“I think I’m gonna like you sticking around.”

Sarah wasn’t sure who moved first, but they both lunged for each other within the space of a couple seconds, hands tangling in hair and lips meeting as a few months worth of tension released with one kiss.

Albert, Jojo, Davey and Les were going to be so annoying when they found out they were right.

Still, Sarah grinned as they pulled apart, “I think I’m gonna like me sticking around, too.”

#newsies #newsbians #sarah jacobs #katherine plumber #davey jacobs #les jacobs #jack kelly #crutchie morris #spot conlon #racetrack higgins #newsie powers/rebellion au #non-graphic injuries tw #war-like elements tw #violet’s writing

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hexalt · 5 years ago

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Schitt’s Creek and the Transformative Power of Love

I first watched the pilot for Schitt’s Creek in the early part of 2019 and found it...eccentric. Not really funny, the characters weren’t speaking to me (except for Stevie (Emily Hampshire), whom I felt a kinship with), and the story seemed odd. I decided this show just wasn’t for me, and I had given it my best shot. Many months later, one of my best friends was posting about it frequently. Since we have the same taste, I thought maybe it was just the pilot. Maybe I should give it another shot. Maybe this time I’ll actually like it. So I started it from the pilot again, and I kept watching even if I wasn’t thoroughly entertained. I soon grew to love the two black sheep and having characters you understand always makes things easier.

What I didn’t realize when I started the show was that the characters were each more than they seem, they weren’t meant to be shallow jokes of themselves and their personas. The way they acted was often a façade hiding their insecurities of not being good enough in a variety of ways. The only other show that I’ve seen with a somewhat similar premise is Arrested Development, but there the characters are supposed to be absolutely ignorant, privileged assholes with no redeeming qualities.

I didn’t realize each season is better than the last, an astounding and rare feat in television. The quality of each season improves as the show quickly finds its footing by discarding early storylines that didn’t really work and letting the characters slowly becoming more grounded and open. This family that was once so distant that the parents didn’t even know their daughter’s middle name eventually develop genuine relationships for the first time with each other and other people.

Schitt’s Creek, co-created by father and son, Eugene (American Pie, Best in Show) and Dan Levy, wanted us to ultimately empathize with these characters, even if the remnants of their wealth can make them profoundly delusional and hilarious a lot of the time. Before writing the show, they created timelines going back to their characters’ elementary school years, detailing everything from where they worked to what they wore.

The fashion on the show is distinct and the best dressed I’ve seen in any show (and most films). Dan is huge into fashion and personally selects a lot of pieces worn in the show (some of David’s clothes are even from his own wardrobe). Instead of constantly telling the audience that this family used to be rich, we are reminded of it through Moira’s wall of wigs and couture black and white ensembles, David’s patterned black sweaters and low crotch pants, Alexis’s bohemian dresses and headbands, and Johnny’s array of business suits. When they enter any room in town, they are clearly fish out of water.

Schitt’s Creek centers on the Roses, a once-disgustingly wealthy family who lose their fortune and are forced to move to the only asset they have left: a small town named Schitt’s Creek that Johnny Rose (Eugene Levy) bought as a joke for his son, David (Dan Levy). So dilapidated is Schitt's Creek and so destitute are the Roses, they don't even have a house of their own; instead they are forced to live in a motel with two connecting rooms, forgoing all the luxury they had become accustomed to and, more terrifyingly, are now physically closer than ever.

While at first the family is horrified at the prospect of living in such a small town with townies, they eventually embrace the weirdness of the town, and it makes them grow in unexpected ways. Johnny was once the owner of the second-largest video rental store in the country and retains his businessman-like self through and through, but he also began the show more uppity. While he is often the most reasonable of the Roses, he often sees himself as above others in town and gets into awkward situations because of it. Over the course of the show he ends up developing a friendship with the town mayor to whom he initially had yelled “get the fuck out!” While he’s always devoted to his wife, he wasn’t so keen on his children, but being forced to live together makes him take a larger interest in their lives and become a better father.

Alexis (Annie Murphy) is the quintessential “dumb blonde” socialite who’s had a Schitt-ton of relationships with powerful men, making stories of her past highly entertaining, often illegal, and frequently frightening. She clearly grew up way too fast, never having had proper adult supervision. She’s reliant on men, and all she can think about in season one is trying to date cute guys. In the following seasons, she realizes it’s time to start growing up and gets her high school and Associate’s Degree to start her own PR business. She becomes a more enlightened version of herself, still deeply kind but also willing to put the happiness of others above her own. The Alexis who previously couldn’t see beyond her own nose becomes independent and more selfless.

David’s had hundreds of flings with people of all genders, but they seem to be replete with abuse, manipulation, and a lack of care for his being. This is unsurprising when we see how he hides his insecurity behind sarcasm and sometimes downplays things he doesn’t like to fit in. He fears showing kindness to anyone because others haven’t always been so kind to him. Early on, he has a panic attack and comes to the realization that he’s “really lonely here,” but he’s been lonely for a lot longer than that. What he doesn’t expect is to make his first best friend or find his soon-to-be husband in this backwater town. In the process, he learns to shed some of his armor.

Moira (Catherine O’Hara) was once on a soap opera, Sunrise Bay, and retains the melodrama in her day-to-day life and demeanor. She is constantly trying to become what she believes is a star: someone who acts in film, someone who everyone mourns when they die, someone who people will just pay one sliver of attention to. She’s desperately trying to cling to the spotlight, but in “Life is a Cabaret,” she finds what I believe will be her place come this final season. Rather than trying to constantly soak up attention, she gives Stevie the starring role in the town’s production of Cabaret (which Moira comes to direct) because getting that role was a “gift that once jolted [her] out of [her] little podunk routine.” From the wings of the stage, as Stevie slowly builds into “Maybe This Time” with such breathtaking passion and joy after starting off unsure and quiet, Moira is shocked at what she was able to bring out of Stevie. She’s finally realizing that her place isn’t center stage but in bringing out the best in others and helping them find their place in the world.

Stevie Budd begins as the desk clerk of the Schitt’s Creek motel until her great-aunt passes away, and she inherits the motel. From there she has to decide whether she’s ready to grow up and take over the family business, and she’s terrified. Johnny soon teams up with her in the business, renovating the motel and renaming it after both of them, so she sees the Roses aren’t going to abandon her. She is part of the Rose’s found family. Her and David are similar in their bluntness and sarcasm, but Stevie is insecure about never making it out of the town, never being more than a motel desk clerk, never having a long-term romantic relationship. She worries while everyone moves on with their lives, she’s “watching it all happen from behind the desk.”

Dan describes creating Schitt’s Creek as “writing a world that examines the transformational effects of love when the threat of hate and intolerance has been removed from the equation.” While homophobia is often front and center in any media depicting LGBT characters, Schitt’s Creek doesn’t give it as much thought. Where small towns are usually seen as ripe for homophobia, transphobia, and other discrimination, Schitt’s Creek doesn’t fall prey to this trope. Instead, this small town is bursting with love.

Dan purposely made David pansexual (it’s also the only show I’ve seen use the word) to challenge the viewer’s biases and push the boundaries of what it means to be masculine and feminine. David’s parents and others in the town never discuss it as anything strange or bad, it’s something he simply is and as common as the sky being blue. When David tells Stevie about his sexuality (“I like the wine, not the label”), she’s a bit surprised at first because she thought he was gay, but ultimately she doesn’t care.

This doesn’t mean the show never discusses what homophobia can be like, but it comes at it from a different lens.

For example, in “Meet the Parents,” David decides to throw a surprise birthday party for his boyfriend, Patrick Brewer (Noah Reid). What David doesn’t realize is Patrick hasn’t come out to his parents yet, they think David is solely his business partner. He tells David, “I know my parents are good people, I just...can’t shake this fear that there is a small chance that this could change everything.” David himself is prepared for homophobia from Patrick’s parents, but when they tell him they don’t care about that, just that he was hiding such an important part of himself from them, David who’s been trying to stay strong through it all wipes a tear.

“When I found myself in a position to tell stories on a global scale, I seized the opportunity to make a television show that might, in its own way, offer some support, encouragement and love to those who might not have it in their homes or in their schools or in their day to day lives. It’s a place where acceptance incubates joy and creates a clarity that allows people to see themselves and each other more deeply. It’s fiction, yes. But I’ve always been told to lead by example and this felt like a good place to start.”

— Dan Levy

I would be remiss to not touch on the comedic style of the show. This is a comedy that relies heavily on the physicality of its actors. Their facial expressions, accents and tonality, their limp wrists, each create uniquely funny characters with mannerisms unlike any I’ve seen. The cast brought nuance to the characters, when they could have easily fallen into vapid stereotypes.

As season 6 premiered on January 7, Schitt’s Creek is not done yet, and I can’t wait to see how its final season concludes. The characters are all happier now that they are achieving dreams they may not have known they had, they have fulfilling relationships with family and friends, and they all have grown into better people. Schitt’s Creek truly was their saving grace.

I’m in a TV group where we wrote essays on our favorite shows of the 2010s, so here is mine on Schitt’s Creek.

#schitt's creek #television #tv #lgbt #lgbtq #writing #mine #long post #*

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ashthewaterghoul · 3 years ago

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Unloveable - A Wolfstar One Shot

TW – brief mention of: abusive family and suicidal themes.

Sirius Black was in love with Remus Lupin. It was no secret, and he intended it to be known. The real secret, however, was that Remus loved Sirius, but he feared his lycanthropy made him unable to be loved and to love, he tried to convince himself and others of this so that it would would be less painful , or at least, that’s what Remus told himself. Sirius was a Black and gay in the 1970’s, he already had a difficult life ahead of him, dating a werewolf was the last thing he needed. Remus cared for Sirius too much to let him corrupt himself. Sirius deserved someone who would be able to always be there for him, not be gone for a week or two every month recovering from an affliction which made him the filth of his world.

Sirius knew about Remus’ lycanthropy, Hell, he’d become an illegal animagus because of it, and despite his protesting of not caring about it, Remus wouldn’t let him fall into a trap. Sirius felt like he couldn’t communicate with Remus about emotions anymore, the thing that was one of the pillars of their friendship had come crashing down. Remus was the only person that Sirius would confide in about the nightmares he had of the horrid things his family had done to him, and Sirius was the only person Remus would confide in about just how much being a monster affected his mental health, the amount of times Sirius literally and figuratively had to talk Remus off the ledge, every deep, heartfelt chat they had added an unique layer of strength to their bond. But since Sirius told Remus how he felt, certain he liked him back, it had just disappeared, like it never existed, like they had never met.

James and Lily had been like spies on Sirius’ behalf, they told him how Remus talks about him when he’s not around and from that type of talk, how could you not like that someone?

It was only two days from the full moon, Remus’ senses were heighten to the most infuriatingly acute degree. He sat on his four poster bed, knees held against his chest. An end of term party was going on in the common room, he could hear some of commotion so precisely and blaringly, that he had to cast muffliato around the bed to stop the constant cacophony from tormenting him. He could barely stand the sensation of his rough quilt pressed against his feet, and the worst part, was the large silver orb outside, mocking him by shining so brightly, so boldly, so much so that he could barely glance at it for a mere few moments without it burning his eyes, he hated it more then usual.

He could smell the familiar sweet, strong smell that represented Sirius Black edging closer and closer. It was already intoxicating, but the magnified strength was damn near enough to push him over the edge. The door gingerly opened to reveal the lad himself. Sirius knew how Remus’ senses get this close to the full moon, so knew to be careful.

“You okay, Moony?” Sirius said softly. Remus simply nodded, although the charm around the bed helped dilute the volume, it didn’t remove all sound for him.

“You want anything? James managed to get lots of food and drinks, I’ll bring you something if you want, save you going down there.”

Remus shook his head. Sirius tiptoed to the edge of the bed, cautious as not to creak the floorboards too much. He carefully sat down on the bed and, still in a low whisper, he said:

“You sure you don’t want anything? You haven’t eaten all day, you’ll need you strength for-”

“I know what I’ll need my energy for!” He said in what would be considered a regular volume, but it hurt his ears, so much so that they started to ring.

“Okay, I’m sorry. I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

“I’m never going to be okay.” He said back in a whisper.

“One day, there will be something to aide lycanthropy, just you wait.” He whispered with a smirk, throughout the years, it was the affirmation Sirius said to assure Remus that it would get better.

“It’s not just that, it’s you!” He unexpectedly blurted out.

“Me?” Uncertainty radiated from every one of Sirius’ cells.

“You and how much you insist you love me even though it can’t be.”

“What?” His anxious, tear filled expression broke Remus. He marched to the window, right by the edge of the charm’s reach.

“I’m a werewolf. I’m unlovable. You need to get over it because I can never love you, and I can never be the man you deserve.” He was trying to convince the both of them.

“Can’t? Or won’t” he replied coolly.

“The fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“Does lycanthropy make it so that you may never love, or are you using it as an excuse?”

“An excuse for what?”

“I don’t know! We haven’t had a proper chat like we used to in ages.” Sirius now talking in a regular volume bombarded Remus’ ears. Sirius hopelessly looked at the werewolf, tears streaming down his face, voice cracking as he whispered “I feel like I don’t know you anymore.

Expressionless and emotionless, Remus said: “You can’t love someone you don’t know.”

“Why are you doing this?” Sirius begged.

“Oh, believe me, I’m doing you a favour.”

“How is making me miserable ‘doing me a favour’?”

“Because I won’t let you suffer under others’ gazes as I have! And that’s what you’ll get if you’re with me! It’s not annoying, it’s downright torture! And I won’t let someone I love go through that!” Remus’ sudden yelling caused the most painful sensation, he couldn’t even remotely make out what Sirius was saying. The pain was too much, without thinking, he ran out the dorm into the eruption of sound in the common room. His hearing went completely before he made it to the portrait hole, his vision also went due to the blinding light of, well, everything. Sirius was pushing people out the way trying to get to Remus, holding his sunglasses and ear-defenders. As Remus got to the corridor, he knew the way to get to the grounds from the voices of the paintings and the smell of the older ones, compared to the less-older ones.

As he made his way down and out of the castle, his vision slowly started to return, as did his hearing. He found the spot against the castle walls that the moon light barely reached, and slumped to the ground against it. A few moments later, his sunglasses and ear-defenders appeared at his feet.

“Thought you might want them.” Sirius said shyly, he crouched down to sit on the grass and hesitated before asking: “Remus, do you love me?”

“What?”

“You said in the dorm ‘I won’t let someone I love go through that’, does that mean you love me?”

Remus let out a long sigh, “I do love you, Pads, just not the way you want me to.”

“But could you?”

“I don’t know.” He said hopelessly, “I want to, I just don’t know if I can.” He burst into tears, the sound of his sobbing clearly starting to bother him, Sirius noticed and carefully placed the ear-defenders on him. Since getting the ear-defenders, a few years ago, Remus’ friends had learnt sign-language so that they can still communicate with him while he stays comfortable.

“Of course you can!” Sirius signed, “You just need to believe you can.”

“I don’t know how, but I would certainly like to.” He signed back, hands shaking violently.

“That’s the first step, Moons, and that’s how we’ll do it, we’ll take it one step at a time. Okay?”

Remus nodded and allowed Sirius to hug him. Remus knew this wasn’t coming from a place of selfishness, he knew Sirius wasn’t going to help him just so he could go out with him, he was doing it because he genuinely loved Remus and wanted him to be happy, in whatever way that would be. Sirius didn’t hold on for too long, knowing that Remus’ signature jumper was probably not providing an amazing feeling being pressed against his skin.

“Thank you, Star.” Remus had taken to calling Sirius ‘Star’ as it was easier to sign.

“Of course, Moons.”

In that moment, the werewolf felt like maybe, just maybe, he had the capacity somewhere within him to love.

You can view all my one shots here

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years ago

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Survey #420

lol blaze it (i’m funny i swear)

In your opinion, which fast food place has the best fries? Without a doubt, Bojangle's. Good. Shit. Are there hurricanes where you live? Yeah, they're common here. What do you hate the most about yourself? I'd really rather not get into this right about now. What song are you listening to right now? "Beast of Gévaudan" by Powerwolf. What was your first concert? Alice Cooper. Also my only concert. What’s your favorite Johnny Depp movie? Alice In Wonderland. Who did you last say “I love you” to? My sister. Do you like pumpkin pie? Anything pumpkin-flavored is a hell no from me. Do you know anyone named Austin? Knew, rather. Do you know anyone who is having a baby? My friend recently announced she and her husband are having their second child in December. What was the last thing you cried about? Just PTSD. Do you prefer regular or chocolate milk? I like both, but I prefer chocolate. Do you think you are an argumentative person? Definitely not. How many deep dark secrets do you have? Two or so, idk. What was the spiciest thing you’ve ever eaten? Some wings at Buffalo Wild Wings with one of the hottest sauces. Wanted to die. ... Yet I continued to get that one whenever I went for years lmao. Who last called you sexy? I don't know. Would you class yourself as a good role model? In some ways, but in a lot of other ways, no. Are you scared of the dark? No. Do you have a motto? No. Who did you last see on webcam? The doctor that overlooks my TMS progress. Do you need a haircut? I need a trim for sure. How would you react if your mother told you that she was pregnant again? Well, considering 1.) she's way past menopause and especially 2.) she's had a complete hysterectomy, y'know... that's kind of impossible. She also hasn't been with a guy in many years, so she would have to be joking. You log into Facebook and see the red ‘1’ notification next to the message icon. Who do you want it to be? -___- Would you rather exercise alone or with other people? ALONE. You will NOT see me exercise in front of other people. What is the most difficult or involved video game you’ve ever played? The most involved is DEFINITELY World of Warcraft, and I guess you could consider it the hardest too, given some of the much more difficult things I've done in it. It itself isn't a hard game whatsoever, but you can pursue some really hard achievements. Ever watch the show Supernatural? If you have, then what’s your favorite episode? I used to love it, but just stopped watching eventually. My fave episode... Man, it's been too long to remember many. Probably one of the funnier ones. I remember I specifically liked the bit where they were in your everyday comedy show, as well as the one where I THINK Dean kept trying to prevent Sam from dying. I just remember the "Eye of the Tiger" bit that is pure gold. Ever heard of flavored honey? If so, what’s you’re favorite flavor? Oh, no, but that sounds good. Do you remember what your favorite show was when you were little? Yeah, Pokemon. Do you put anything besides cheese on grilled cheese sandwiches? Besides butter, which I think is pretty standard, no. When it comes to books, what do you think is the “perfect” amount of pages? Uh, I dunno. It depends on the book. I don't really care about page numbers. Would you ever be interested in going scuba diving? Yeah. Out of all of your friends/relatives, who would you say has the best vocabulary? Girt, probably. Are any of your fingers or toes deformed? What about the nails? I don't think so? When is the last time you cried? I was sobbing earlier today, fun stuff. Would you ever date somebody that has been divorced more than once? Most likely not. ESPECIALLY at my age. What are some stereotypically nerdy things that you like? Oh god. WoW, M:tG, big glasses, anime (does that count? idk really), video games... a lot of stuff, really. Have you ever attended a wedding that ended where the bride and groom didn’t actually get married? What happened? Y I K E S, no. That would be SO uncomf. What scares you the most about becoming a mother (hypothetically, if you don’t want to have children)? Actually raising it properly, physically and emotionally. Would you ever want a job in fashion? What would you enjoy about that type of job? No. Would you ever be a surrogate mother? No. What do you think would be the best and worst parts about being a twin? It'd be cool to have someone you feel an almost supernatural connection towards, but I'd also feel like I wasn't as "original" as I would be if I was born alone. Do you feel that your childhood was more rough compared to others around you? I mean it wasn't awful at all, but sure, in some ways compared to at least someone. How would you react if you found out today that you were actually adopted? Well today I'm a wreck, so don't tell me. I want to know that I wasn't lied to for 25 years. Have either of your parents ever cheated on one another before, that you know of? How would you react if you found out today that one of them cheated? I'm not entirely clear on this, but I'm 90% sure Dad cheated on Mom with his now-wife. Dad also accused Mom of cheating, but I HIGHLY doubt that's true. Do you like cleaning and organizing? Not really. How would you react if you found out you were infertile? If you don’t plan on having kids to begin with, what is a long-term goal you’d be crushed to find out was impossible to achieve? Fuck having kids. I'd be a terrible mother. So to answer the other question, I'll be pretty, pretty sad if I can't get permission to spread Teddy's ashes at Yellowstone. Would you take your dream job if it were out of the country? Well, obviously not considering my dream job is a meerkat biologist, and I'm not moving to Africa. Have you ever been robbed? No. Is anyone close to you an alcoholic? Not anymore. Dad was, but he's recovered. Have you ever dumped anyone? Yes. What kind of tea do you drink? I hate tea. Do you know anyone in a gang? No, and I hope I never do. What’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for you? Risk his fucking sanity and health to try to hold my fucked up self up. What is your orientation? Gay? Straight? Metrosexual? Anything other? Bisexual. I've kinda been questioning pansexual of the late, though. I don't know. Have you ever done anything really dangerous or illegal with friends? Not to my memory. Name three feelings you’re feeling right now: Regret. Hopelessness. Loneliness. And the reasons for these feelings? Take a wild fuckin' guess. How do you feel about your life right now? It's an actual dumpster fire. Is it easy for you to like yourself? Why or why not? Fuck no. Because there's just not very much TO like about me. Even on my good days, I see flaw after flaw in myself. What subjects come naturally to you? English, some aspects of science. What subjects do not? Math, economics, politics, history... Do you read more fiction or more non-fiction books? Definitely fiction. When I read a book, I want an escape from the real world. How has today been for you? BOY HOWDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What did you do? Went to TMS therapy. Sat on the Internet. Cried. :^) Are there any candles lit in the room you’re in? No. Are there any lava lamps near you? No. I want one, though. Do you like cats or dogs better? Cats. Are any of your friends a pothead? Yes. What’s a goal you’re trying to accomplish soon? Start losing weight again. That'd be pretty goddamn grand. Are you a high maintenance person? Definitely not. The last time you yelled as loud as you could, what was the reason? I was having a nightmare. Have you ever been heartbroken? For sure. Who did that to you? First Dad, then Jason. Did you go through an ugly stage as a kid? Boy, did I. The last type of sandwich you made or ate: A pb&j. The last time you spent most of the day in bed: Literally every day. I do just about everything in bed. Pathetic, I know. The last friend or acquaintance you made: Ummmm idk. The last thing you took pictures of: A hydrangea bush. The last time you were scared: Now. The future is terrifying, my friend. The last thing you looked up online: The definition of a word to ensure I was using it correctly. The last thing you disagreed with: So I've been watching John Wolfe's old stream of him playing Alice: Madness Returns, and he went on a total soapbox about smoking being okay essentially because we're all gonna die eventually from something, and I really disagreed with it. Does your house have a separate laundry room? No, just like a closet. Do your parents still help you financially? I'm still entirely dependent on them. Does your car have a backup camera? No. Have either of your parents ever been in trouble with the law? Not to my knowledge. Have you ever had a pet that lived to be really old for its breed/species? REALLY old, no. Teddy was definitely up there, but beagles have lived longer. What was the last strong scent you smelled? Lysol. Have you ever told someone to their face that they were ugly? Christ, no. Is your bed against more than one of your walls? No. Have you ever been attracted to someone’s parent? Don't think so? Have you ever pole danced before? No. Have you ever broken into someone’s house? No. Have you ever seen a live bat? Yes. What is the most amount of money you’ve spent on a meal before? I dunno. Have you ever taken a woodshop class? No. How much time do you spend on Facebook, if you have one? Funny you ask, because as of today I decided to take a break from it for awhile. I've found it's nothing more than a breeding ground for envy and making me feel like a horribly incompetent adult. Has a teacher ever made you hate yourself/your work? I had one photography teacher in college that I was NOT a fan of. He was super, super hard on everyone, like to an unnecessary degree. We were students, not pros. Have you ever been on the barrier or front row at a concert? No. Are your parents supportive of you? Somehow.

#survey #surveys #random questions

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elecman108 · 3 years ago

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Man, I forgot to post 90% of my art here for the past while. I’m gonna do an art dump in this post under the cut. Enjoy the bonk emoji if you don’t click the read more, and man am I dumb and forgetful lmao.

Includes: OCs getting names, a Sonic impression, a D&D map, homosexual energies, a sheep floating in the astral sea, a birthday drawing I already posted, Hex Maniac Ender, D&D Characters, D&D Characters as Miis in Miitopia, Little Hater Axel, local Demon in the consciousness of my D&D character yelling at him, illegal plants, a necromancer being cute, an actual event that happened in a D&D game two days ago, and Mermay drawing.

That’s everything in here as a TL;DR, I guess. Enjoy your day!

I’m gonna try and sort of have them in chronological order, oldest first, but I may end up putting them in the wrong order. If I do... Whoops, I guess?

[04/14/21] - This isn’t really new art, but I started to work on giving the four OCs of mine without a full name full names... I have not finished this bit, though. So Hunter and Akira have full names, and Warlock and Assassin only have temporary names. This may end up like Seven where I put in their names as a temporary name (7th OC I’d made at that time) and it just kind of... sticks. Lmao.

[04/20/21] - Alone on a Friday Night? God, you’re pathetic. I didn’t colour this one because it was a half-attempt at a meme image I still like it, though, so I might end up colouring it. It’s gonna appear again whenever I do my “unfinished drawings art dump” at some point probably in... June? I know I said I’d post them last month but forget it, lmao, it’ll happen eventually.

[04/20/21] - A D&D Map! This was to help me visualize the layout of my D&D character’s ship he used to be on. Also for my DM if they ever put us aboard the ship. The little fella in the corner is just there to vibe. This map is made of free to use assets from This Website, so while I’m gonna say DONT USE MY MAP WITHOUT PERMISSION, feel free to make your own!

[04/26/21] - Lesbian Day of Visibility drawing of yours truly, the disapointment! That’s... really all I have to say about this, honestly. It was just for that one day and that was it, lmao. I mean, I accidentally lined it in dark pink, so.. .That’s different, I guess?

[04/30/21] - Do Astral Seas dream of Ensorcled Sheep? Does the City know what Sheepleb is going to do? What crimes he may commit? Who knows! This was fan art of Critical Role ep. 134 if I remember correctly, right at the end when they jumped into the portal into the astral sea and Caleb was a sheep. Using my knowledge of the German language, I knew the word for “shit”, and had to use it.

[05/07/21] - This was already posted, but it’s going in here to dilinuate that it was drawn at this point. Also, aside from playing Miitopia, this is all I have to show for myself until the 12th.

[05/12/21] - Hex Maniac Ender challenges you to a Pokemon Battle! WIll you win against my team? My sis, who loves fairy types, pointed out to me that there’s a fairy girl and hex maniac duo, so I’d be the hex maniac. I spent... Over a week drawing this, because I basically had to redraw the Hex Maniac art from scratch in a higher quality size, and then draw myself over it. So... You can excuse the low-effort background for once. It was basically this, and then my birthday doodle from May 1st to May 12th, and then I took a break to draw up several D&D characters quickly for fullbody references.

[05/12/21] - Remember this art I made several months ago? I finally added my other two completed characters! I have three more named but without character sheet D&D characters, so for now this is just Kara, Axel, Golden Shadow, Kau, Cecillia, and Miri. Kress, Tempest, and Melia will have to wait until I make character sheets for them to be posted, and... For when I probably make more D&D characters. I have at least 9 additional, incomplete character ideas floating around, so... I’m never gonna be done this art, huh?

[05/12/21] - Speaking of D&D characters, did you know I’ve been making them as Miis in Miitopia? So here is their finished full body art next to their Miitopia self! Some of them look a little off (Golden Shadow, Cecillia) because of limitations of the editor and shading issues, some of them look a little off (Kau, Kress) because this is a human face canvas that I’m using to make a non-human face, and some of them (Melia, Axel) look REALLY GOOD. Common traits among my D&D characters include green eyes and tall. You wanna know why? Because I am tall and... despite having red eyes, I do have green eyes under the coloured contacts.

[05/15/21] - More D&D stuff! This is based around my D&D group’s current Rime of the Frostmaiden campaign where our Goliath Fighter, Nioh, ends up getting a little bit of hate for being cocky, and our little (well over 6′) hater, Axel, is just a man full of irritation. These are the tallest two characters of the group at the moment. Someone send help. Nioh belongs to one of the other D&D players, Axel (and his stupid additude) belongs to me.

[05/15/21] - This is what me playing D&D feels like. Me, the demon entity trapped inside the head of my D&D character, yelling at them to do things while the dice decide that they’re gonna get bopped a hundred times by a yeti and somehow still survive. This is also a reference to our first or second game where I just ran off like sixty feet to one side of the battle map to fight a Crag Cat and was just in Gay Baby Jail until like two turns later when I could run back to the others. I also drew him not in his winter gear even though this is a bit from when we were atop Kelvin’s Carin in an icy cave, so maybe that’s why he’s at low HP.

[05/15/21] - Melia has good gardening tips, such as Use A Mars Mii Trap To Hide A Body Because They Are Endangered And It Is Illegal To Dig Them Up. I love her a lot, because she’s the youngest of four, all four sisters based around the different seasons. She’s based around Autumn, so she’s all orange and yellow and brown and is so cute. Also she’s Chaotic Neutral, as if she didn’t need to be mildly more threatening.

[05/15/21] - Cecillia is my Tiefling gal who lived in a very northern town plagued by cold weather and snow, and Axel is my Pirate guy who spent most of his time further south on the high seas and warmer weather. So, naturally... I’ll use the guy more acclimatized to the hotter weather in the campaign where we spend 99% of it in the snow. She uses Tarot Cards as her spell focus, and I decided to sneak my other D&D characters onto her Tarot cards so naturally, Axel is The Hanged Man, given his backstory and personality. She’s a very cheerful and friendly Tiefling Necromancer of the Hexblade, so she’d for sure take care of those around her to ensure their success. Especially if they’re on her Tarot Cards, and their spirit comes to her aid when she asks for them.

[05/16/21] - Content Warning; Ryma thinks too much into local stupid moron’s lack of knowing how to answer a question and thinks too much into the reputation of Pirates. Poor Axel, man doesn’t know how to socialize with people who aren’t pirates and is used to being hostile towards everyone, so when he’s asked a question that his answer to is “uhh... no?”, he panics and ends up making a mistake that leads him to think that Ryma can read his mind. Ryma belongs to another of the D&D players. I guess me drawing all those spicy Cow Costumed OCs earlier just brought me to drawing Axel being a bottom in this, huh?

[05/16/21] - It’s Mermay, which means more OC drawings! Here’s Theo after drinking some potion that turned him into a mermaid, and Seven, tiredly, collecting his stupid boyfriend so that Lailah can fix the fact he’s turned into a mermaid. Mer!Theo is based around his sword’s colours of indigo-purple with red accents, which looks a little weird since Theo is the Blue one of the group, but... it looks cool, I guess. Seven’s just the same outfit as always, just no gloves this time.

And that’s it for the art dump! This was, frankly, MASSIVE. I’ll try and remember to upload both on Twitter and Tumblr at the same time, but... Ah... I have been drawing a fair bit. Just mostly sketches and linework that I haven’t finished and may not actually finish. If they’re not completed, I’ll dump them all into something at the end of the month or whatever. Maybe you’ll get the old sketch of the Axel face in panel 3 because in the sketch phase it was an Ahegao face, in the clean sketch it was a lip bite, and in the linework and final it’s just horny face. lmao.

Top ten things I have to remember for drawing: AXEL HAS A SCAR AND GREEN EYES. I remember his eye colour now, but if you look at his fullbody ref, he’s got brown eyes. And, naturally, I keep forgetting to put in his scar. He has more, but most of them are located in areas covered by his clothes. So if I ever draw him shirtless I guess I’ll have to place them somewhere.

Also maybe finish the reference sheets I have left to finish so I can post more of them, since I have two “Pets” completed (Roko and Mona’s nameless pet), but I have to do up Hunter, Warlock, Assassin, Akira, Myuut, and Stella. I’m betting when I do complete two more, it’ll be Hunter and Akira. Those two are the most fun to draw, at least.

#the disappointment speaks #drawings by me #OCs #D&D #art dump #Miitopia #of all of these drawings I gotta say the most cursed is censored bottom!Axel and the most blessed is Cecillia's lap nap #I drew a lot of D&D stuff lately! Most of my OC stuff has stayed in the sketch stage so #I guess that says something about what I've been prioritizing in my drawings?#Also that drawing a twunk as a twink is incredibly funny and cursed. love my pirate boy

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