#which is arbitrary but exciting for me
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writing my goddamn fic be like and it's still not done
(disclaimer this may not be long for some people but it is for me)
#why is it long and still not finished#fic keeps on keeping on#because i am going to split it up into quote unquote chapters im really struggling not to just start posting#i want the dopamine#but i also want to have it be not terrible#and considering my track record with deciding that i need to drastically edit beginnings of things i just worry#so probably i should write it all and then edit and then post all at once#like here ya go enjoy the vidya game fanfic novella!#literally 0 idea if this would at all be enjoyable to anyone but me#i do hope people like it when its done#i like exploring various themes in different fics#usually each one has some like guiding theme#(not so much the last one but ehhhhh i shoehorned it a bit)#this one possibly unsurprisingly is identity#so... yeah. lots of stuff to chew on there#anyway this is probably not a lot of words for some people but its a loy for me and like... this might hit 50k#which is arbitrary but exciting for me#makes me feel like i will have accomplished something
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i finished twelfth night. 25 out of 38 shakespeare plays completed.
#after finally reading othello and twelfth night in the past 10 days im not sure which are the most famous plays i still havent read#bc like ive mentioned previously ive always read the plays in arbitrary order. whatever piqued my interest#hence why i read the henry vi plays relatively early on. or some of the more obscure comedies#but lately since i past the halfway mark this year some of the more talked-about ones im like 'geez i should just get to that one already'#not that that makes me enjoy it any less. i think i mentioned that in my post i made while reading othello#i fucking loved othello. that shit was 10/10 although i very much was reading it bc i felt like i had to at that point.#doesnt mean i wouldnt love it. after all i only read shakespeare bc i love shakespeare! not bc theres a gun to my head#its more like i just want to know what everyone's talking about already#tales from diana#i think at this point the most famous one i still havent read is... much ado about nothing? which isnt THAT famous all things considered#but some of you ppl do seem to be awful crazy about it so ill see#i already knew the plot of twelfth night i had just never read the original. now i have#so i kinda already knew how much enjoyment i could get out of it. some! a good amount!#but i found it a quick read and i wasnt THAT excited about it#the next one i want to read is pericles though. ive read 8 shakespeare plays in 2023 but none have been romances!#i do love the romances. the romances are still the only genre where i havent read more than half of them#ive read 2 out of 5. the tempest and the winter's tale... two of my favorites overall#in a way ive kind of been holding myself back from reading more romances bc i needed to check some of my 'required reading' boxes lol
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· . ˚ 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐞
— the little mannerisms you pick up from the members of stray kids over the course of your relationship.
words・3.7k / pairings・ot8 x gn!reader / genres・fluff, humor, borderline crack, intentional lowercase, established relationship(s) / warnings・minsung’s are suggestive, touch of anxiety in felix's, jeongin's is lowkey gross LMFAO
a/n・massive shoutout to @/http.dwaekkii on tiktok for their edits about the boys' habits, which i consulted for chan, changbin, seungmin, and jeongin (and to @astraystayyh for beta reading hehe. what would i do without u). these were sooooo fun to write, hope u guys enjoy (。˃ ᵕ ˂ )
chan + getting shy easily. poor thing gets embarrassed so quickly as it is. throw you into the mix and it’s just critical hit after critical hit. defense lowered. no health potions left. he folds like a lawn chair with a massive smile and a whiny “stooooop” every time you say something even remotely affectionate. the habit is adorable, and you love it to pieces.
but you like poking fun at it even more. “god forbid i find my literal underwear model of a boyfriend attractive,” you’d say, or something along those lines, which of course only triples his embarrassment and on more than one occasion results in him starfishing on your kitchen floor, his hood pulled over his face.
fast forward however many months. he’s still the worst compliment-receiver you know, but you discover one arbitrary afternoon that it’s rubbed off on you.
the two of you are cuddled together on the living room couch in your usual fashion, your legs thrown over his thighs and his hands tracing absently over your shins as you relay to him something you overheard on the subway. the conversation is painfully normal. you’re almost bored. you pause to take a breath, and he murmurs, out of nowhere, in the dreamiest tone: “so damn beautiful.”
“wha—huh? what is?”
“you. your voice, your face, everything. i‘m lucky.”
your expression of bewilderment persists for around ten seconds, and then slowly, so slowly, you begin to sandwich your head between your knees, balling yourself up like a spooked armadillo. chan wonders if he should call an ambulance.
“love?” no response. “what, uh, what’s happening right now, exactly?”
no response. no response. then, hoarsely, “you can’t...say shit like that…randomly.”
he notices two things after that. one, your skin is burning hot enough to fry something upon, and two, you’ve formed a fist in the fabric of his hoodie, which you only do when you’re pretending to be annoyed at him. the puzzle pieces fall into place, and he starts grinning like a madman.
“you’re…embarrassed?”
the guttural groan you emit is more than enough of an answer, and the cute aggression that overcomes chan is fucking debilitating. he wraps his arms around you and hauls you entirely off the couch and onto his lap, littering kisses over your face until it finally resigns into a matching smile. all intent to continue feigning grumpiness erased with the drop of a hat. you drape an arm over his neck.
“you’re so good to me, channie,” you sigh helplessly. “i love you.”
“love you more, baby.” he imprints these words directly upon your lips, then pulls away, giggles. “that was very me of you, by the way.”
“i know, right? i was just about to say.”
minho + butt touching. it’s quite simple, really. if lee minho is within proximity of someone’s buttocks, he will, as he lives and breathes, make it known. will it be a coy little swat or a yelp-eliciting, full-bodied grab? nobody ever knows, not even him. the unpredictability is what makes it exciting.
but it takes a while before this starts applying to you, because the way minho touches you is…different. doting. there’s no other way to describe how he always holds the nape of your neck while kissing you, how he rests a hand against the small of your back whenever he leads you somewhere, how during the nights you can’t sleep he guides you to the place on his chest where he knows his heartbeat is loudest. he even drags you into his trademark headlocks the same way one would hold an invaluable treasure. he’s so obsessed with all of you that he never thinks to pay just your butt special attention (though it is, indeed, a special butt).
you take it into your own hands. literally.
you don’t know what prompts it—maybe you’ve simply seen minho slap his members’ asses one too many times, or maybe you’re still thinking of the specific time minho slapped changbin’s ass in passing and it fucking echoed, or maybe minho just looks especially fine in this practice outfit, a skintight tee and washed sweatpants that hug him in all the right places—but you feel a new urge today as your boyfriend swings his duffel over his shoulder, circles around the kitchen counter.
he puckers up as he nears you, silently requesting his goodbye; you give it to him, relishing for a moment in the familiar, soft plush of his lips beneath yours. then he pulls away and turns to leave, and your hand acquires its target.
“go get ‘em, tiger.” thwack!
minho jumps a foot into the air. clutches his pearls and his left butt cheek. becomes the splitting image of that perplexed blonde lady surrounded by geometry.
but when he turns around to stare at you, the smirk melting across his face betrays how he really feels about what you’ve just done. good. really good.
you, meanwhile, look genuinely confused. “it’s like it moved on its own.”
minho beams. steps towards you daintily, intentionally, like a cat catching sight of a laser beam. brings a hand to your hip, murmurs, “that’s what we’re doing now?” kisses you again, for longer this time.
you fully foresee his fingers wandering to your ass to give it a gentle squeeze, but you reach up to cuff his shoulder when it happens anyways, and his laugh vibrates against your mouth. it seems you’ll be reaping what you’ve sown from now on.
(good luck.)
changbin + the Cackle™. yes, you said something exceptionally funny. yes, you expected changbin to find it funny too. but you couldn’t expect the godforsaken noise that left his mouth as he threw himself straight into the tree planter behind you.
your mind spun with frantic questions as you helped him out of the dirt. had the spirit of spongebob just usurped his vocal cords? were you on a date with the wicked witch of the west? most importantly—
“are you well?” you sputtered, which only made him laugh harder and his laugh so much crazier, so you started laughing, too. and you were goners, falling over each other until you’d been reduced to watery eyes and sore cheeks, your giggling interrupted only by the sound of you slapping his thigh every so often, heartily enough to reverberate around the little park in which you concluded your second date.
that’s how you fall for seo changbin: laughing. with a reckless, breathless abandon you didn’t think possible. stumbling across empty sidewalks, spitting noodles across dining tables, begging for mercy on studio couches. wrestling under tear-stained comforters, starting (and re-starting) silly stories, huffing into beaming kisses. the list goes on.
you never quite get used to that chortle of his, too busy enjoying its insanity to notice how your own chuckles grow shorter and shriller, how they gradually develop an edge like the chittering of a forest dweller.
you complete your transformation on your ninety-eighth date.
no, changbin doesn’t say anything exceptionally funny. no, he doesn’t expect you to find it exceptionally funny, either. he expects least of all for you to fold over the kitchen island and start cackling like cruella de vil on helium.
jisung turns around from his seat on the couch. chan’s footsteps come to a halt as he emerges from the bathroom. both of them have fear in their eyes as they witness your undoing.
the only thing on changbin’s face, though, is unfettered delight.
“b-baby,” he sputters with a growing smile. “are you—”
you lift your face off the marble surface and turn to face him. the entirety of your forehead and the point of your nose is covered in flour. you blow a cloud of the stuff out of your mouth like a dragon awoken from slumber.
he loses it.
the two of you make your way onto the floor in slow motion, ending in a tangled heap against the side of the counter. changbin tries to clean off the flour and smears it all over your cheeks instead. you are zero help whatsoever, smacking his bicep like that’ll help you catch your breath. your synchronized, diabolical laughter reaches every corner of the apartment. your happiness reaches every nerve ending.
chan and jisung look at each other and sigh. jisung takes a video.
hyunjin + side-eyeing. this man is so god awful at controlling his face, bless him…and DAMN HIM.
on one hand, you love how in tune with his emotions he is, how confidently he puts them on display. and you love your synergy. you come closer to believing in soulmates every time you glance his way and discover your exact feelings written all over his features; it’s a special type of happiness, sharing a brain with your favorite person in the world.
on the other hand, you think there’s a time and place for candor, and he tends, well, not to think at all. during many a precarious situation, you’ll catch him wearing an expression so transparent that he might as well arrange the words THIS IS STUPID AND I HATE ALL OF YOU over his head in neon lights. cue a dig of your heel into his toe, a hiss of pain cut short by your piercing glare. if you’d known ahead of time that dating hwang hyunjin would have you doing so much damage control…you’d still date him, let’s be real. but you do get stressed at times.
the night the tables turn, you’re at a celebratory dinner for your coworker’s birthday. small caveat: you can’t stand her. she’s the type to spontaneously combust if she goes two minutes without talking about herself. certainly doesn’t help that she’s downing champagne like water, and her lips are looser than ever.
hyunjin comes with you, fortunately. or not. he spends the whole evening trying so hard not to laugh: snorting into his bread, excusing himself to “cough.” you think he actually starts doing breathing exercises at some point. you’re so, so grateful that he’s here, but you’re also deathly afraid that he’s gonna bring out those neon lights in front of your entire office.
then, she flirts with him.
from the opposite end of the table. perfectly wasted but still knowing perfectly well that he’s yours. the whole patio goes silent. hyunjin’s jaw hits the table.
your fork clatters to your plate.
FUCK time and place.
the side-eye you give her is devastating. truly masterful. your brow furrows. your eyes turn to slits. your gaze does the up-down-up of unadulterated incredulity. hyunjin recognizes the motions straightaway and starts smiling so hard his whole face hurts.
you take your boyfriend’s wrist and stand up. he follows suit. you don’t say a thing as you leave the restaurant, and you don’t have to. the intensity of your disdain was more than enough; anything more and she might’ve started crying.
once you’re on the curb outside, hyunjin pulls on your interlocked hands, brings you close. his lips brush against the shell of your ear. you hear laughter and his smirk in his voice: “you might be the sexiest person on earth."
jisung + how he applies lip balm. that han jisung is the pioneer of modern day babygirlism is the worst kept secret in the world. that han jisung applies lip balm the riveting way he does, however, is unknown even to you. until one morning.
you pop into the bathroom and make your usual beeline for your toothbrush, only to end up motionless in front of the sink, staring. jisung is a bit off to the side, hair pinned back by a cinnamoroll headband, eyes glued to his phone, hand holding a tube of chapstick that you can actually see getting shorter in real time. he looks so pensive, so concentrated. how long has it been since he last blinked? you’ve half a mind to pull out a stopwatch.
finally, he rubs his lips together, recaps the chapstick, and makes eye contact with you in the mirror. a smile crosses his face, equal parts confused and amused.
“baby, your mouth is open.”
you close it. then you open it again, and your words come out in a barely-contained laugh: “what on earth did you just do?”
“what do you mean?”
“the—” you point at his mouth, then do your best impression of an elementary schooler trying to color inside the lines. “—that.”
jisung looks aghast. “that was LIP BALM.”
“no, i know what it—you’re so—i meant, why do you apply it like that?”
jisung continues to look aghast. “like what?”
“like you’re one of socrates’ prized pupils and the answer to the universe’s formation lies at the bottom of—” you step in close, reach into the pocket of his sweatpants. “—this tube!”
it might be the craziest thing you’ve ever said to him. he bursts into laughter, the kind that leaves him no recollection of what he does with his limbs, and when he can see straight again he discovers he’s pressed you gently against the counter. his fingers latched around the hem of your top, his grin inches away from yours. can’t stay away from you to save his life, this one.
“do i actually?”
“yes! holy shit, it’s so cute.” your arms circle around his neck, also without an ounce of thought, also through a fit of giggles. “no way you’ve always done that, right?”
“i don’t know. i’ve never thought about it.” a pause. a tilt of his head, with purpose. “am i…doing it wrong?”
the question is a trap and you realize it too late. your gaze drops from his eyes to his lips—a ray of sunlight glistens off the pink plush like a paid actor—then back to his eyes. let’s find out.
you lean in. so does he. and his mouth tastes and feels like melted fucking sugar. it’s such a pleasant surprise that you actually moan, and he chuckles against you. lifts you onto the edge of the sink. your mind really goes empty after that, save for one thought. i have to start doing that.
felix + checking his own pulse. you saw it from afar, the first time.
he stood by the stage’s entrance just before curtain up, pointer and middle finger pressed against the side of his neck. eyelids sealed closed, chest heaving. you tilted your head, puzzled. worried. then the concert began, and you pushed the image to the back of your mind.
it returned to the forefront right before bed.
“you do it when you’re nervous?”
“yeah. forces me to ground myself. turns off the world for a bit.” the hand rubbing circles into your back paused. “wanna give it a go?”
“what, checking my pulse?”
“mine.”
you lifted your head off the pillow. felix took your hand from where it sat upon his ribs, isolating two fingers and nestling them over his jugular. his quickened heartbeat pressed into your skin like the world’s gentlest tattoo.
the sixty seconds began and concluded in total silence.
“well?” he whispered.
“ninety-three,” you answered, lightheaded from the sheer intimacy of it all. “you’re nervous right now?”
“something like that,” he hummed. pulled you down, kissed you deeply. there were no more words exchanged that night.
the habit surfaced more than you knew. while driving to visit your parents. after a stupid argument with a bouquet of flowers tucked beneath his free arm. you started doing it for him in the times he couldn’t, and he’d cover your hand with his own and kiss the top of your head silently, gratefully.
two years have passed since, and you’ve vanished from the dinner table.
felix asks the nearest waiter for directions to the restrooms. you don’t notice when the door swings open, unmoving in your spot over the sink, your pointer and middle finger pressed against the side of your neck.
his hand finds your hip. you let him turn you around and bring you to his chest; he glances at the crystalline droplets studding your lashes and falling from your cheeks. his eyes convey what his mouth doesn’t need to, not anymore.
let me.
you do.
his fingers replace yours the moment you drop them from under your jaw, the movement like clockwork. he counts your every heartbeat with unblinking concentration, his heart growing heavier the higher the number climbs.
the sixty seconds begin and conclude in total silence.
“well?” you whisper.
“hundred and six,” he answers. to his confusion, a smile pulls at your lips.
he wonders if it’s a trick of the bathroom lights when he sees the tiny box you pluck from your pocket, but there’s no mistaking the reality of the diamond ring that sits behind its open lid.
the earth slants under his feet.
“crazy.” you giggle through your tears, run your thumb over his cheekbone. “that’s how many years i want with you.”
seungmin + poking eyes(?) he’s hardly touched puppym when your voice is slicing through the living room air like a fucking beyblade.
“KIM SEUNGMIN, UNHAND HIM THIS INSTANT.”
do you have a sixth sense just for this? he throws his hands up in exasperation. “he’s literally me. i’m allowed to do whatever i want with me.”
“he’s not you, he’s our son.” you pop out of nowhere to swipe the plushie from over your boyfriend’s shoulder. “my son, if you keep this up.”
“just say you hate me and my preferred avenues of self expression.”
upside-down, he watches you dust off puppym’s face and smooch his forehead with a tenderness that makes seungmin unhappier than he lets on. you then tuck him into your jacket pocket. the little shit’s expression looks strangely smug poking out of its cotton capsule.
“i’m asking you to not gauge his eyes out, not to deliver me the holy grail,” you say. “you’ll survive.”
but then he feels your hands on either side of his face, and you lean over him like the mj to his peter, leave a kiss on the space between his eyes, too. he has zero say in the bashful smile this brings to his face.
“but why do you do that, seriously?” you mutter.
“i have no idea,” he replies. “but it’s fun. try it.”
“i’ll think about it.” you lean in again, and he nearly forgets what you were talking about in the first place when you kiss him on the lips this time. “okay, i’ve thought about it. no.”
“hate you,” he says despite the literal hearts in his eyes, and then you’re off to work.
puppym takes strikingly after his father. they have the same bangs. the same compulsively squeezable quality. the same little :3 that can only allude to sinister plottings. you’d be loath to admit that you sort of comprehend seungmin’s poking predisposition.
one night, seungmin falls asleep before you even finish your nighttime routine, and you spot in his peaceful, upturned face an opportunity.
you lie belly-down on your side of the bed. your fingers splay into a peace-sign in the air. your smile stretches further into a cheshire grin the closer you bring your hand. you’re just about to reach the ends of his eyelashes when—
“I KNEW IT!”
you almost catapult into the ceiling. then you try to make a mad dash for the bathroom. but seungmin shoots a hand around your wrist like he’s actually peter parker and pins you down before you so much as take a step. your only remaining option is to sulk about your foiled plans. (and blush, because, well, you’re under him.)
“amateur,” he tsks. “you gotta test my breathing to make sure i’m asleep first. shit’s foolproof.”
you blink at him for a few seconds. his words finally click.
now you almost catapult him into the ceiling.
“HOW MANY TIMES?”
jeongin + eating food in one bite. so you might be an instigator.
“hwuck,” he grumbles around the whole ice cream cone in his mouth, face scrunched up in a brain-freeze-induced wince. “ayee ith waz a bah iyeah.” (translation: fuck, maybe this was a bad idea.)
“you got this. just take it slow,” you urge, except he’s stopped moving and speaking and closed his eyes as if he’s descending into a deep sleep. you’re actually concerned for about two seconds, and then his jaw begins to oscillate leisurely like an elderly cow in his favorite pasture. false alarm.
after some time, he swallows, beams. “so am i the fucking best or what.”
“yeah you are,” you echo, and he swings an arm over your shoulder, plants a chocolatey kiss on your temple. the two of you celebrate his daesangs with less enthusiasm.
“when are you doing that with me, by the way?”
“the one-bite thing?” he nods. “mmm, coaches don’t play.”
“mmm, this one will.”
“doubtful.”
fast forward a few weeks and you, jeongin, and his younger brother are sitting cross-legged on the porch in his backyard. three full-sized oranges rest in the center of your makeshift circle. damn is yoon hard to say no to. (runs in the family.)
“the rules!” he declares. “eat the orange whole! first to swallow it wins! you can’t spit it out!”
you wait. “is that it?”
“yes!”
why was the delivery so grand?
jeongin places a fond hand atop his brother’s head. “i’ve brought you a new loser, yoonie. get excited.”
you feign an indifferent scoff, but jeongin spots the fire that ignites behind your eyes like that of an anime protagonist, the resolute grip with which you palm your orange. he smirks. he’s never known you to take trash talk sitting down. or sitting cross-legged on his porch.
yoon counts you off. “ready…”
“good luck, coach,” jeongin sings.
“shut up, pipsqueak.”
“set…GO!”
in amusing unison, you and yoon try and fail to fasten your teeth around even half of the fruit. jeongin, meanwhile, fits the whole thing into his black hole of an oral cavity and launches into that dumb cow impression again.
desperate times call for desperate measures.
you rip the orange from your lips. “yoon! your brother’s ticklish, right?”
both yang siblings’ eyes widen—the younger’s in growing delight, the older’s in impending horror.
the latter reacts first. “ay, ay, ay, ah ahes eh ooles!” (translation: wait, wait, wait, that’s against the rules!)
but the former moves first, and you’re right behind him.
jeongin weakens when the younger boy assaults his sides, crumples when you target the back of his neck, the sounds leaving his mouth getting progressively louder and somehow even less intelligible.
he eventually has to spit out the orange to avoid death by pulp going down the wrong pipe and spins around in indignation, wiping at his chin with the back of his hand. but his annoyance—
you’re back on the floor, gnawing hopelessly at the the orange again. “ih ih eawahin, ooh.” (translation: this is embarrassing, yoon.)
yoon replies, “huh?” (translation: huh?)
—dissipates, immediately.
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#skz x reader#stray kids x reader#stray kids imagines#stray kids fluff#skz imagines#skz fluff#k-labels#stray kids scenarios#skz scenarios#bang chan x reader#lee know x reader#changbin x reader#hyunjin x reader#han jisung x reader#felix x reader#lee felix x reader#seungmin x reader#jeongin x reader#*writing#*headcanons
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Shangri-La Frontier mid-season review
This is by far the best fake video game I've ever seen written in fiction.
Most MMO-centric isekai stories have trouble with providing accurate and realistic depictions of the complexities and minutia that give MMOs the allure they have. I've seen so much handwavey bullshit tacked onto fake-games that introduce unrealistically overlooked mechanics for reasons like giving the protag immense power just because they're the protag and the story is about them. A good example of this is another MMO Isekai airing this season, "A Playthrough of a Certain Dude's VRMMO Life", wherein the main character becomes extremely rich, powerful, and famous by episode 2 because he stumbled into a stealth archer playstyle, a build which apparently no human in that universe had ever conceived of before, and then making a fortune by selling basic potions to everyone after NPCs stopped selling them (another thing he was uniquely able to do because not a single other player had the forethought to spec into alchemy). These lesser, dime-a-dozen isekai add up to be boring fantasy strories with gaming elements clumsily put in so that the author can demonstrate how powerful the world's inhabitants are by showing their stat allocation screen instead of, say, explaining anything about what they do that's so uniquely powerful and how they figured it out. Ya know, stuff you'd hope to hear about from any competent story.
Shangri-La Frontier is a breath of fresh air for anyone who, like me, is sick of authors ignoring the things that actually make video games compelling in service of creating a stock-standard narratives in fantasy worlds because it allows them to get away with bullshit. I've always found it very convenient that many isekai narratives indulge in things like chattel slavery, because it's societally normal enough for the protag to purchase a beautiful, vulnerable girl to add to his harem (dont worry, she is always inexplicably in love with him no matter what because he's SUCH a kind master). And it never really seems to go anywhere. Because the Video Game Isekai, while an interesting premise in theory, is more often than not used exclusively as a means to simplify the structure of a world's power scaling to abide by an arbitrary set of omnipresent universal rules (e.g. what people who have never cared to look into game development think of video games). This anime, by comparison, is VERY clearly authored by someone who plays a LOT of games.
Every piece of logic used to drive the plot forward, so far, is congruent to a real-world example of video game conventions, and I'm not just talking about levelling up and selling monster parts. Story elements that I've rarely (if ever) seen explored in other isekai are ever-present and genuinely clever and amusingly introduced. My favorite example of this so far has been the way the protagonist has been able to go head to head with so many overlevelled foes in the first 9 episodes. The story of course makes note of how good of a gamer Sanraku (our hero) is, but much like in real life games, being super duper good at dodging attacks doesn't really make up for a 70 level gap in items and learned skills. For that reason, he gets his ass whooped more often than he actually outsmarts others (so far he hasn't beaten a single player in pvp). So how is he getting out of these situations without dying so frequently? Simple: he got access to a later area too early relative to his level (sequence break) and got access to a high level follower NPC that's been carrying him. This is something he acknowledges directly several times, specifically using words like "Emul has been hard-carrying me for a while." This, to me, is extraordinarily meaningful. That's something you can exploit in Skyrim, man. That's REALISTIC CHEESE STRATS. The excitement and wonder I find in this show doesn't come from watching the protag do something unexpected, but by watching him do something that I would think to do.
This knowledge the author has demonstrated regarding modern gaming culture extends further into the actual realistic nature of game design and community. The story exists in a reality where full-dive VRMMOs are the be-all-end-all of gaming, and given the prohibitively expensive nature of developing and designing expansive, immersive worlds, most games are pretty shit. It's been hinted at so far that this is due to a monopolistic megacorp which is one of the only entities rich and powerful enough to make a good game (the game in question being the one that shares the title of the anime), but so far the strife of the characters have been pretty centralized to the happenings of the game world and its politics. By the way, lets talk about the game world's player base politics, which I'm also quite pleased with. It exists in the form of guilds and clans who struggle for power not by participating in seemingly random pvp with other powerful players to see who is the most epic and badass warrior (again, like many contemporary isekai typically opt for), but by gaining actual realistic support from a fictional playerbase with realistic desires and playstyles. Some guilds are interested in lore, some gather for alliance and boss raids, some for things like animal husbandry, and (naturally) at least one is dedicated to trolling and PKing. Each of these factions, through the very little that we've seen of them so far, communicate on forums and only know as much as is reasonable for them to know. The only reason they give a shit about the protagonist at all is because he gained access to a high-level unique scenario quest that they want information on how to access, and the only reason word of that got out in the first place was because someone posted a screenshot of him with a unique NPC onto a forum, asking about it as "where can i find this pet summon, its super cute!" That's real. That's video games, baby.
I like this show a lot so far. I like that it cares about video games, but I also like its writing. I like the main character and how hes less of an ultra badass super cool guy, and more of an earnest challenge-run lets player. Like, a lot of his dialogue straight up sounds strikingly similar to Japanese youtubers. And he's naturally always quick to point out inconsistencies in the game world's logic. I ALSO really like his community of pals from a janky old fighting game, and I ADORE the girl from his school who has a crush on him and also just so happens to be an exceptionally high level player from a top clan, and how she had to spend 9 episodes working up the courage to send him a friend request. I love that so, so much, dude.
I highly recommend this show if you're into a single thing I've mentioned. The animation is great. The world is beautiful. The character design is immaculate. And I'm looking forward to watching it continue.
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Motivation For Writing
Getting Off Your Butt:
1. Aestheticise it. Let the light in through the curtains, turn on your fairy lights, lay a blanket over your lap, light some candles, whatever you need to do to feel like a writer. The right vibes can go a long way
2. Picture that one scene. There’s almost always a moment you’re super excited about that basically inspired the whole book. Picture it, play it out in your head in full cinematic fanfare, gush to yourself about how cool it is and how everyone will love it, picture a future fanbase going nuts for it. You might get excited enough to go back to writing
3. Set a word count goal. During NaNoWriMo this year I think I wrote more than I ever have in one go. The thing that kept me coming back was the desire to not fall behind. I ended up with ~45K words after some complications irl caused me to drop off in the final few days, and that’s all just because I was adding up the 1667 a day word count goal and realising where I needed to be at to keep up. I definitely can’t stay as rigid as I did with 1667 words every single day, but seeing that you’re only a few hundred words off of a goal is super motivating - just be sure to set realistic, easy to achieve parameters for just general use, like 1000-2000 words per week. I know 200 words per day is a popular one for people trying to establish a writing routine that can’t dedicate forever to the craft
Maintaining Motivation:
1. Writing sprints. Writing sprints are a godsend for me, I like to set myself up in the living room with Abbie Emmons’ writing sprint video on. The video lasts two hours and is broken up into two parts; 25 minutes to write and 5 minutes for breaks between writing, so four 30 minute sprints overall. Having the timer and countdown with peaceful music and an aesthetic background is both relaxing and encouraging, as well as giving me a specific time for how much longer I have to push through. It’s easier for me to say “Okay, only ten more minutes, then you can take a break” then it is to say “Just keep going, we’re not stopping until I say so” which is too arbitrary for my brain to accept
2. Give yourself a choice. If you’re struggling to keep your focus, come up with a finish line and tell yourself you don’t have to do any more work once you’ve reached that point. Finish the paragraph, go for another five or ten minutes, keep it up until your next scheduled break. Whatever sounds realistic and doable without being overwhelming. And once you’ve met this goal, ask yourself if you still want to stop. With any luck, you’ll have gotten back into the zone and will choose to keep going. Maybe you’ll want to take a quick break but you’ll come back later on. And maybe you’ll decide that now actually is a good stopping point. Just remember that, if you do still want to stop, don’t force yourself to keep going. You can’t strike deals with yourself if you know you won’t keep your word and all you’ll end up doing is burning yourself out, which will lead to even less writing getting done
3. Try a new angle. If you can’t be bothered to write anymore, is there anything else you can do for your book? Plotting, editing, worldbuilding, character sheets, one-shots all that sort of thing can still be productive for your book while still being different enough to give your brain a slight respite. It also means less work in that particular area later on
Afterwards:
1. Organise. Clean up your workspace and put everything away so it’s nice and neat for when you come back to it. Or if you don’t need to pack things out the way, set it up in an aesthetically pleasing way so it will tempt you back next time. Let it give you the writer vibe
2. Take care of yourself. Get a drink, have a snack, walk about, stretch your limbs, take a breath, cuddle your pet. Something that gets you away from straining your eyes looking at text for a bit. This is also a good time to reward yourself if positive reinforcement is something you use on yourself. If you always feel shitty after your writing sessions, you won’t want to go back to it
3. Positive reflection. Make sure to tell yourself you did good, even if you didn’t get as much done as you would’ve liked or it isn’t up to a standard of quality you’re aiming for. That can all be fixed later on, and you’re infinitely better off than you would’ve been if you didn’t do it. Be proud of yourself. Tell yourself you’re proud of your hard work and your dedication and your effort. Remind yourself that this is a fun thing you like to do. Marvel over how insane it is that you’ve gotten this far - not many people do - and that you’ve got all this tangible work to prove you’ve accomplished something so many people wish they could pull off. If this isn’t fun overall, there’s no point
#writing#writers#bookblr#writeblr#book#writing tips#writing ideas#writing inspiration#writing advice#on writing#writersnetwork#write#writers of tumblr#how to write#writer#writers on tumblr#writers block#writers and poets#writerscommunity#writer things#writer problems#writersociety#writerblr#writerslife
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GUESS WHO’S BACK? — one shot.
pairing: daniel ricciardo x reader
MASTERLIST.
NOTE: first of i wanna say that this is not meant to diminish the treatment nyck got bc it is undoubtedly shitty (helmut marko you will pay for your crimes), i am just happy one of my fav drivers is back. this is eminem!daughter!reader an idea @lorarri let me use, all the lyrics and song she came up with are fantastic, i couldn’t have made this without them, so thank you lola!!!!
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yourusername i am so excited to announce my newest album “BADGER BEWARE”!! this project has been in the making for quite some time, it has the help of people i am very close with. and inspirations behind a lot of impacting moments in my life. which is why i am so happy that it is finally here and you can all enjoy it july 13th
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ynfan1 oh this is so about daniel
ynfan2 NEW MUSIC FINALLY😭😭
danielricciardo 💛💛💛
liked by yourusername and 96,053 others
⤷ danielfan1 acting as if the album isn’t gonna be dedicated to him
icespice gonna be bomb 🔥
scottyjames31 Claiming track 3 right now
⤷ danielricciardo No, it’s already claimed. Pick another.
ynfan3 july 13th cannot come any sooner
danielfan2 i hope y/n knows that she just sent me into cardiac arrest
danielfan3 MONZA MASH??? YOU’RE TELLING ME SHE MADE A SONG FOR HIS WIN IN MONZA
ynfan4 thank you eminem for the blessing that is y/n🙏
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yourusername “BADGER BEWARE” is out now in all streaming platforms! i wanna take a moment to thank all the people who made this album possible, to the man who inspired this project and sat with me until sunrise writing down lyrics, to my friends who participated and helped me push through, but especially to all my fans who waited patiently for me to release my music in my own time. have fun and pls don’t take what i talk about too seriously (or do 😉)
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danielricciardo I would sit until sunrise every day with you
⤷ yourusername love the sentiment but you were asleep 90% of the time
⤷ danielricciardo But I was still there!
ynfan21 RED WINGS IS WILD
ynfan22 album of the year!!!
danielfan21 oh so this is a diss track to mclaren…
redbullracing Our playlist has been updated!
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ynfan23 when we needed her most she appeared🙏
ynfan24 damn she did not hold back
danielfan22 DANIEL AND Y/N BEST COUPLE ON THE GRID
“Show-stopping” is the expression Y/N wants to convey each time she sits down and starts to write her songs. It is a “big word”, as she puts it, but there is no other word that would fit the feeling she hopes to transmit through her music.
“I started writing “BADGER BEWARE” back in 2021, I think around august, and by the end of that year I had written 3 songs. I stopped writing because I thought of either scrapping the whole project or making a 4-5 song EP. Obviously that didn’t end up happening because now there are 10 songs, 1 intro and 1 outro. All those songs hold a different place in my heart and while they all form part of the genre of Rap, they’re heartfelt in their own special way.”
Rap is a genre Y/N is all too familiar with. With her father being Eminem, an icon to the genre and the 2000s — even now. She says that the choice is not arbitrary, that there is an influence she cannot deny, but chooses to embrace it rather than push it away.
She dedicated the album to her boyfriend of 3 years, Daniel Ricciardo, who was the initial inspiration behind it. “Danny listened to me rant about my ideas for hours, sat in different studios with me and suggested different things that made the whole experience different than anything I’d ever done before. He also introduced me to — now one of my good friends — Charles Leclerc, who plays piano and is the one that composed the music for both the intro and outro.”
When asked about her favourite songs she picked a couple because “there is no way I could choose just one”. There is an evident passion to her craft when it comes to Y/N, something not everyone in her field possesses quite as well as she does.
“HONEY, RED WINGS and SUMMER SMILE are probably my top 3. They were all written at such drastically different points of my life, about things that have practically nothing to do with each other but that are tied by a little string. Some people think I pick my singles because they’re my favourite, which is true because all my songs are my favourites! But most of all I pick them because they’re the ones that I felt most comfortable publicising, all the other songs in the album are like a little secret between my fandom and me.
“There are also songs which are more personal. MONZA MASH, for example, it’s a very hyper song but it still is about an event that was very emotional. TEARS OF THE SUN, is also an obvious one. My songs are about something, and if it makes you feel anything at all then I did my job right.”
CLICK HERE TO READ MORE!
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yourusername 2 THE MAX MV IS HERE!! i heard it was a fan favourite and had to deliver… there is no way to express my gratitude to you all for the support the album has gotten, so i guess this is my way!
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ynfan31 MY FAV SONG YES
⤷ danielfan31 “i turn up the heat to the max and watch them bitches squirm” ATE THAT SHIT UPPP
ynfan32 y/n mathers?? MORE LIKE Y/N MOTHER
danielricciardo She’s wearing red, next question!
⤷ yourusername LMAO??
⤷ maxverstappen1 Let him be, he’s a bit jet-lagged
ynfan33 literally fell down the stairs bc of this announcement
danielfan32 forget daniel… I WANT HER
ynfan34 as a y/n fan i am more than amazed at the amount of content we’re getting😭
ynfan35 it suddenly got real hot
⤷ ynfan36 we call that “the y/n effect”
ynfan37 LITERALLY RUN ME OVER!!!!!!
#*ੈ✩༄ my works !#daniel ricciardo#daniel ricciardo x reader#emilia mernes#daniel ricciardo x you#daniel riccardo imagine#daniel ricciardo x y/n#daniel ricciardo fic#daniel ricciardo fluff#daniel ricciardo fanfic#daniel ricciardo instagram au#daniel ricciardo one shot#daniel ricciardo blurb#daniel ricciardo smau#daniel ricciardo social media au#f1#formula 1#formula one#f1 x you#f1 x reader#f1 instagram au#f1 fanfic#f1 social media au#formula 1 x reader#formula 1 x you#formula 1 fanfic#eminem#formula 1 x y/n
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Dark at the End of the Tunnel
Sink into an Anglers grasp in a dream, like the undersea the Night cradles screams
Been inspired by anglerfish recently, so I'm going to try to do at few of these dark background ones back to back and see if I stumble into something new. I noticed I tend to draw characters / mechs / robots in these oneshot illustrations extremely lanky, but I wonder if I made a comic, whether I'd keep these exaggerated proportions - I'm often indecisive about how much mech vs character is in these biomechs, so I usually just don't think about it and draw what feels interesting in the moment.
This gives me a chance to lay down a meandering anecdote - many years ago as a dumb teenager, I'd stay awake every Friday evening / saturday morning till 4 am, hoping to catch my favourite developer, Digital Extremes' weekly devstream. I vividly remember during closed beta in 2012 people would introduce the game as being about futuristic space pirates zipping through corridors - the games fidelity back then was really quite different, one of the early warframes, Ember, even had her whole model redone at one point. Around 2013-2014 ish when I was most excited for these streams, I noticed the games tagline was "ninja's play free", nothing at all to do with pirates - but it was catchy, and you'd see all over in the advertising because of the parkour moves you could pull off in the game were genuinely sick.
Incidentally, both the Defiance MMO (rip) and Destiny 1 (rip) were what warframe tended to be compared to at the time, both released a little after warframes closed beta, neither of which were piratey or ninja-ey , I think probably 80% of the reason for that was that they all had both guns and abilites ... I guess they were also all live services, I don't know if they were called that back then.
Compared to Defiance and Destiny, I was puzzled at what it was about warframes identity that made the aesthetic feel "itself" - and I got my answer on one of those devstreams - the art lead at the time brought out what they called a "faction pitch bible" a one pager showing all the factions they had in the game at the time, each of them with a few lines of flavour text.
What struck me from that faction pitch was that the Tenno / warframes "cyber knight" description was nothing at all to do with pirates or ninjas, it was a third, wholly other thing, and yet by virtue of being first, it might as well have been the "true" description.
But there was another original, even more original than the "true", Warframes predecessor game, Dark Sector, was a spy thriller with biomechanical aesthetics, or perhaps a powered suit superhero series. Would this original, more original than even the initial, not be what it truly was?
I think what my takeaway was from all of these, is that first an foremost, the aesthetic is "itself" rather than any arbitrary descriptors - I enjoy this about my own pieces, that they mostly still feel like they were made by me even if I can't quite categorise them or explain myself. Perhaps I'm happy if the takeaway is "cool mech", "weird robot" or "wacky character" because maybe it's all of those things and even more!
#veilantares#digital art#my art#art#illustration#mech#mecha#biomechanical#voidpunk#character design#monstergirl#monster girl#knight#cyborg#robot girl#robotposting#mechposting#mask#not quite storytime musings but actually yes its exactly that#storytime
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"Muse with Aquamarine Scales" (Full Comic) 28-page long self contained comic about a bird who started seeing flying fish
Oops, reached the limit of images per post with the last page. Guess i'll have to add Afterword in text form: Been a while since I've done something in comic form. So yeah, initially "Muse" started out as a self-proposed challenge to do a short comic story within 2 weeks of production. Not 2 weeks straight, just a total of 2 weeks' worth of free days, majority of which I could spend on it. And as far as writing and storyboarding got, I didn't really have much problem with that, finishing up both at around a week. I already sketched down character designs and had a story structure ready from the conceptual step of the process. But as I moved on to sketching, I slowed down my work on it paradoxically enough 'cause i didn't want to waste any free days I had when I felt like I wouldn't do much progress with, so those days wouldn't count to the arbitrary 2 weeks limit I gave myself. The limit being my way of trying to handle my perfectionism issues, going with more concept-arty quality than properly cleaned arts. And even then, in the end I ended up having some specific parts cleaned up, such as the final page. Easy to say that I failed my challenge in terms of the rules I gave myself, firstly I extended production time to 3 and then 4 weeks and around week 3 when I was around halfway into finishing the comic, I lost count of how many days I've given to the production of it. And don't get me wrong, I'm glad I gave more time and attention to a story which I was interested to write for a while now, had this idea for years. Don't think I've ever been as excited when finishing work on a comic before. This was an enjoyable rest from the exhaustive production of ELoNR's second chapter. Thanks for giving it a read. Hope I'll still be around to do more Started work: Somewhere near the start of 2024 Finished: 7th of July 2024 Proofreaders: Rudra and Joshua C. Pipkins
#art#comic#comics#comic book#webcomic#webcomics#furry#furry art#anthro art#furry fandom#furry oc#anthro#furry artist#small art account#small artist#full comic
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First Date
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Word Count: 1.6k
Warnings: none at all fr fr except idk first date jitters???
Genre: fluff central
Summary: Your first real date with your former fake boyfriend; "I'm just scared of what you think // You make me nervous so I really can't eat" ~ First Date by Blink 182
A/N: This is technically part 2 to Nervous but order is arbitrary fr
***
The following Friday Bucky is at your apartment just before 7 o'clock trying to convince himself to knock on your door. He knows he has to because you otherwise won't come out and that would be awful because even if every muscle in his body is tensing up at the thought of this actually happening he does really want to take you out. The only problem is that standing in your hallway it feels like a dream he had long given up on is coming to fruition and he's starting to wonder if maybe he's not ready for this. It's too late for that now though, he's meant to pick you up in 2 minutes and he'd rather lose his other arm than upset you by canceling last minute no matter how anxious he is.
"If she didn't want this. She wouldn't have agreed." Bucky tells himself, steeling his nerves. He raises his fist and raps on the door far more confidently than he's feeling at 6:59:37. He knows because he checked his watch. Barely a minute goes by before you swing open the door with a soft smile.
"You're right on time. Hi Bucky." You say. Bucky freezes up as he takes you in. You're wearing a crop top and faux leather pants with a matching jacket. Bucky told you casual dress was fine so you wanted something cute but practical. Bucky can feel his brain short circuit as he looks at you. Just compliment her!
"Punctuality- matters. We should get going." He says instead of anything charming. The sentences come out chopping and strained and he almost outwardly cringes at himself.
"Alright, well lead the way James." You say, pointedly ignoring the tense undertone in his words. You're not sure what that was about but you can't imagine drawing attention to it will help. Bucky nods and walks you down to his car where he opens your door and lets you in before he jogs over to the driver seat and slides in. It only takes another moment before he's pulling out of your parking lot and cruising down the streets.
The ride there is pretty quiet, which is fine. You're trying to guess where he's taking you anyway because he refuses to tell you. It's not until you see the big neon sign as he turns into a parking lot that you finally crack it though and you can't help but chuckle quietly as he parks the car. It's been such a long time since you've been to one of these.
"Bowling?" You smile at him.
"I've heard how boring you find regular dinner dates." Bucky shrugs. It's true you much prefer activity dates, but you're curious how he'd know that already. He gets out of the car and rushes over to your side to open the door for you. The two of you head inside and get set up with a lane and a pair of bowling shoes. You both are quick to grab bowling balls and start the game. You're always down for some friendly competition and honestly, it'll be nice to do something you haven't in a while.
A few rounds in though makes you painfully aware of how little Bucky has said since picking you up and it's starting to get to you. If you get excited over a strike or point out the score he'll offer a little smile and maybe a couple of words but he's not actually conversing with you. When you commend a particularly good round on his end he just nods a 'thanks'. Not to mention he's hardly looking at you which isn't a big deal exactly but in combination with the lack of talking it feels very awkward. Especially for a first date. Who bowls in silence?! About halfway through, you stand up before Bucky takes his roll.
"I'm going to get some food. Do you want anything?" You ask him.
"Oh! Let me get it. What do you want?" Bucky puts down his bowling ball and jogs over to his jacket draped over one of the chairs.
"A slice of pizza and some lemonade." You say.
"On it." He nods dropping the jacket and walking over to the food counter. You sigh to yourself as you plop back in your seat to wait for him. You can't understand why he's being so quiet but this date really can't continue this way. When Bucky returns with your food and drink he hands them to you quickly. You barely mutter thank you before he goes back to his jacket, presumably to put his wallet back in the pocket he fished it out from.
"You know Bucky, you've barely said anything to me all night. I've been on some pretty awkward first dates before but never ones where my date avoids looking at me." You stand and walk over to where Bucky is now lining up his roll.
"I'm not avoiding looking at you." Bucky says.
"If this has been your idea of being present with a date you are more out of touch than I thought James." You muse. Bucky sighs and turns to you, finally looking at you properly. He's silent for a moment, just looking at you before he speaks again.
"You know when you talk to people you look at them so intently. It's like you could uncover their every secret in the time it takes them to finish whatever sentence they're saying."
"Is that why you wouldn't look at me?" You ask.
"I'm already terrified of saying the wrong thing. When I look at you it feels as though you can hear my every nervous thought. As if you'll-" Bucky's words seem to get stuck in his throat as his brows knit together.
"As if I'll what?" You prompt.
"Be able to see me the way I see myself." He mutters.
"You- don't want me to see you the way you see yourself?" You frown.
"It wouldn't end well if you did." He shakes his head.
"Well, why don't you let me decide how I see you? And in the meantime, you should just- be yourself. Trust me you're way worse off if you don't speak to me the entire night than whatever you're so scared of." You tell him. "Right now your worst crime is sucking at bowling."
"Hey! I'm doin pretty well."
"I mean I'm beating you pretty bad so-" you walk back over to your seat where you'd left your pizza.
"You're distracting." He mutters.
"I'm distracting?! You've been avoiding me in all ways but physical Bucky. How could I possibly be distracting?" You ask.
"How many times are you going to make me say how nervous you make me?"
"I dunno, how many times would it take for you to stop being so nervous?"
"More than is reasonable for you to say."
"You'd be surprised how far I'm willing to go actually." You tell him, taking a bite of your pizza. "I just want you to relax Bucky." You say before you drop your pizza plate back on the chair.
"Easier said than done." He muses.
"I'm sure. I mean up until a week ago I thought you hated me- so there's a learning curve for us both. But you can't expect me to not get to know you. We're on a date I mean-"
"I know." He mutters quietly, though you can't hear him as you keep rambling.
"Dates typically involve a lot of getting to know people. You're lucky we're not complete strangers-"
"I know." He tries again but you're still going.
"Otherwise I wouldn't even bother with this I would just never see you again but I like you and I want this to go somewhere but you have to try, and sometimes that's gonna mean stepping out of your comfort zone and if you can't do that-" Bucky grabs you by your shoulders and yanks you towards him until your bodies are flush, his head tilting down and connecting your lips. Your eyes widen for a moment before closing, surrendering to his kiss. It's strong, unyielding, so much like him and finally, for the first time since you got here you get a glimpse of the man you're familiar with. When he pulls away your eyes flutter open.
"I know, y/n. You're right. I'm sorry for being so awkward." Bucky says and you shake your head.
"You don't have to apologize. I just want tonight to go well." You say softly.
"So do I! So much so that I-"
"That you're too scared to talk to me?" You chuckle.
"It- sounds silly when you put it like that." He muses.
"It's okay. As frustrating as the silence is I think it's cute that you're so..."
"Insecure?" He scoffs.
"I was going to say shy." You roll your eyes with a laugh. "I don't think it's insecure to care about what you say to a date, but I do think you worry far too much. You're not under evaluation." You say.
"I'll- try to relax." He says.
"Great, now hurry up and roll your ball so I can wipe the floor with your cute ass." You smile.
"Oh-ho-ho don't get too confident there sweetness. Relaxing means I'm definitely going to beat you." Bucky says.
"I mean you can tryyyyy but I'd keep those expectations low if I were you. I'm currently doing way better than you."
"We're barely halfway through the game, you're counting your chickens too soon." He smiles sweetly.
"You're talking a lot for someone who still hasn't finished his turn." You shrug. Bucky shoots you an incredulous look that has you laughing as he walks over to the lane to roll for his turn. Now, if you can keep him this relaxed for the rest of the night then this date is going to be every bit as amazing as you could hope for. Even on the off chance he beats you at bowling.
***
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What do you think about Lilia and Idia's chats? I know you ship them but did they affect you in any way?
Sorry for the late reply, Anon!
This is one of those asks that I really went “oh no I have to think about this one properly, this is a very important topic” lol But it’s probably for the best because today is kind of a perfect day for me to write about this particular topic.
As always, I ended up talking a whole lot, so I hope you enjoy reading it. I’ll try not to digress too much!
Short answer would be yes of course it affected me: I’m pretty sure it was one of the main reasons why I started shipping them in the first place.
As someone who crawled out of Homestuck’s cradle (and will stay there forever at least in some capacity), I really love it when characters chat. I think all of us act a bit differently when we’re on the internet, even if we’re trying to be 100% honest, or at least we are perceived a bit differently. And when you have two characters who know each other irl, but also know each other online as different people, and one of them is crushing hard, it creates such an interesting dynamic… so beautiful.
It’s very interesting to see Idia swooning so hard. He doesn’t act that way around anybody else, even people he is kind of close with (Azul is the only example but), which contrasts nicely to his usual snarky antisocial self. I love it a lot when this type of character gets very into someone and ends up being a bit tormented by his own inner demons: he craves to be closer to that person, he wants to spend more time together, but he is scared that the moment he accepts his feeling he’s going to get hurt. He is terrified of being vulnerable, but Muscle Crimson makes him so happy that he just can’t help himself. Idia is so cynical and pessimistic, he already accepted the fact that he’ll stay lonely forever, and yet whenever Lilia appears, he gets hopeful, romantic and longing. Very Megara of you, Idia lol
What doesn’t help is that no matter what Muscle Crimson does, somehow it only makes him more perfect in Idia’s eyes…
For starters, in ch6 Idia said that one of the things he loves most about Muscle Crimson is that he never oversteps and is very understanding of him, and how he is very natural in a way he expresses things. What I’m trying to say is that Idia never feels like he has to explain himself or push himself, like MC always gets it and never pries into his affairs. This is the thing that Idia usually struggles with the most: social expectations, the pacing of a conversation, the arbitrary rules of how two people should communicate; and he doesn’t have those issues with MC whatsoever. It’s very easy for him to talk with MC because the moment this usual obstacle isn’t present, Idia is suddenly very eager to connect with another person. MC is chill, MC is nice, MC is mature and MC isn’t needy. We see it so much with their online conversations, it’s incredible.
I also really love their chats because they very nicely show what exactly Idia wants from a relationship. Whenever I talk about Idia’s ideal type, Idia’s love language, Idia’s anything, I always end up talking about it: Idia loves quality time and sharing things that he loves with others, so the fact that he can play videogames with Lilia is massively important for him, but this isn’t the only thing. In Idia’s dorm uniform vignette (god that vignette is such a feast for a multishipper), Idia gets so excited because MC not only agreed to listen to his favourite band, but also was engaged enough to express that he wants to listen to them! On his own volition! Azul-shi who didn’t even bother to listen to their music that Idia kindly brought to him should take notes!
I’m sorry but let’s take a look at this dialogue (official translation from wiki but I just want to make a point okay):
<Muscle Red>
Ah, I see. My apologies for not being well-informed on the topic.
<Gloomurai>
NP! sorry for rambling about something you don't care about lol
Imagine ranting to someone about your oshiis, and instead of being annoyed or politely agreeing with you, the person goes “oh I’m sorry that I haven’t heard about them”. Of course, Idia’s instinct is to pull back a little and to apologise for his rambling and to joke about MC not being interested – not as a jab at Lilia, but as a jab at himself instead for bothering him with unnecessary information.
And instead of just letting the conversation go to some other lane (which would’ve been a bit sad, but ultimately not that bad because Lilia’s initial response wasn’t an annoyed one), for some reason, MC does this of all things:
<Muscle Red>
Actually, after seeing how passionate you are about them...
<Muscle Red>
My interest in this Premo group has been thoroughly piqued.
<Gloomurai>
you're already interested just from hearing me drone on and on?
<Gloomurai>
you're like the nicest guy. i'd give you 100 rare drops if i could
<Muscle Red>
Would you recommend a particular song for a first-time listener?
Not only he didn’t get a “ehhh yeah cool”, but he also got a “send me their songs” instead. It’s like Lilia is actively trying to lure this poor otaku boy into his embrace lol But the best thing is that it is so casual and genuine, even Idia-the-biggest-cynic doesn’t feel like he is just trying to be nice about it. And as I always say, despite being a hikikomori, Idia is good at reading people, and someone as insecure as he is would’ve definitely thought that MC was just being nice. But he didn’t, instead he got super excited about it. The boy is so smitten he’s melting as we speak...
And not only that! When in that exact vignette some shenanigans happen with the website of the band, and Idia gets upset about it, MC is so quick to cheer him up and comfort him. It’s interesting with Lilia because he really is wise and mature, but sometimes he doesn’t quite know what to say to comfort someone?? There are some areas in which he is a bit clumsy, I guess, but it seems like when it comes to Gloomy Samurai, it feels like he knows him super well. How his mind and emotion operates, what makes him upset. It’s sweet that he is very eager to support him and feels genuinely bad for him; we’re even shown Lilia himself in his own room being troubled that his online buddy might get depressed over what happened. It’s just so… sweet?? I don’t think Idia had anyone other than Ortho support him like that before. I’ll talk about Lilia in general in a moment though.
One last thing about this vignette is that I wanted to talk about is this little exchange:
<Gloomurai>
it'd be so cool if we could meet up IRL...
<Muscle Red>
Oh? Well, if you wish to meet offline, I'd gladly visit whenever you like.
<Gloomurai>
oh nonononono, i live in a super remote place rn!
<Gloomurai>
i'd have to take planes, trains, buses, and boats to go p. much anywhere
<Gloomurai>
meeting up would be a whole THING...
Imagine Idia fucking Shroud not only having a gaming buddy he is excited to talk to, and not only entertaining the idea of meeting said buddy irl, but also EXPRESSING THIS IDEA OUTLOUD? And once again, he is met with enthusiasm, because OF COURSE MC wouldn’t mind hanging out irl! And the moment he gets that response, he pulls back once again, keeping his distance, being anxious and overwhelmed by the possibility of meeting up with MC. It’s incredibly interesting to see Idia acting this way, and once again it shows just how much he doesn’t want to ruin what they have right now. Let’s be honest, it’s not just the fact that he is in NRC; he would’ve easily traveled somewhere if he needed to, they have portals, for fuck’s sake, although not for personal usage. In this convo Idia does what Idia does all the time in their chats: he dares to express interest in MC’s irl affairs, and then gets terrified that MC won’t like it, or MC will answer and somehow this newfound knowledge will ruin something, or that things will get weird: Idia just doesn’t want to risk breaking this balance between them that is super fragile in his eyes.
I love him being so unsure and anxious. I love him being invested and infatuated, but also being so afraid to get hurt. It’s like Lilia is taming him little by little… which isn’t intentional on Lilia’s part lol He’s just hanging out with the guy he likes to hang out with! And the guy is out there falling in love deeper and deeper with every single one of their chat.
But the thing is, this is still not completely one-sided. It’s just that we tend to focus on Idia during these chats, and Idia is really crushing hard on Lilia, but when we’re shown Lilia’s side in his Suitor Suit vignette, we have a little more info on how he feels.
I find it interesting that after Idia’s little rant about how marriage in-game is a stupid mechanic and that it’s such a pain, Lilia changes his mind about asking Idia if he wanted to get married in-game… for unlocking an achievement of course. Which is SUCH A SHAME because Idia would’ve gone full 180 on this topic and would’ve accepted his proposal so fucking hard lol After learning just how much Idia pulls back and rambles, the whole thing really feels like Idia thinking that someone like MC would never ask him for something like this, and how suggesting it himself would’ve been stupid: what if MC thinks that he’s weird or clingy or cringe? So he threw the ball to Lilia’s side of the court so aggressively, that Lilia just figured that Idia hated the idea in general and didn’t want to play with him at all… SUCH A SHAAAME.
But still, it shows that Lilia also doesn’t want to make Gloomy Samurai uncomfortable. Not from the place of extreme shyness, but from the place of loving hanging out with him and not wanting things to become too complicated.
But also!! It’s so interesting to compare the way they act and type. Lilia is so proper with his lack of emoticons, but he is still playful with his comments from time to time. So reliable, so mature, of course Idia’s mental portrait of Muscle Crimson is “older man who may or may not have a family and may or may not be a proper businessmen” lol The boy is talking to someone else’s husband and dad in his head… I also love moments during which Lilia just goes “oh yeah I used to wear armour for work” and Idia just assumes that he’s joking around. I want to see more of their chats ahhh! And I want the big reveal!!
On a personal note (you don’t have to read that part lol), I have my own sentimental reasons to be so into this whole thing. It feels very nostalgic because the whole dynamic, the situations, even the typing style to some degree, it all feels very similar to what we went through ages ago. I won’t point at Lilia and say “he’s just like me for real” because I definitely wasn’t as slick as him at the stupid age of 16, but I did try to have this mature image back then lol But also, just like Lilia, seriously underestimated just how much that antisocial sweetheart I enjoy talking to a lot is into me.
Those early stages of the growing and blossoming relationship, moments of pulling back, showing initiative, trying and being insecure about all those things: I can see it in them, especially in Idia. Since I was technically the Lilia of the situation, I feel such warmth witnessing those early steps in Idia, his crush and his doubts about the whole thing. It’s like… flirting, but not quite? Some other style of flirting that isn’t really noticeable until you really look at it. Since I myself was quite dense back then and, once again, didn’t notice a crush (that I was told about btw) for quite some time, I feel especially sorry for Idia and his pains LOL But also, especially hopeful~
It’s precious. I could’ve written something edgier or sexier but ultimately I feel like it’s very precious, at least to me lol I really love these two. And this is why I’m writing this post today of all days. Very sneaky of me.
Anyways, thank you so much for your question, Anon <3 I love these two a lot.
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dumb dog's guide to self-denial
this was by far the most popular option in my last poll so here goes! full disclosure, i am a drooling idiot so i can't promise i won't miss some things. i can promise, however, that 1) i will do my best!! dogs are v enthusiastic!! and 2) there will be no bioessentialist kink of any kind within this post. adding to it with such things will get you blocked. if you're looking for that, go the hell elsewhere :)
disclaimer: i cannot give you advice that will "simply work" because nobody can. your body, your effort, and your time are all variables which I cannot account for with any certainty, so this is meant to get you started with finding your ideals when it comes to orgasm denial. it's not about learning to edge as much as me/for as long as me/as hard as me/whatever - everyone is different!
my approach to this is basically...building a dom/owner/whatever you'd like to call your ideal "denial partner" in your head. if you're single, either by choice or by chance, or you have a partner/s who isn't interested in being involved w/ your denial, this basically means being your own owner! so how does one do that? and how is that supposed to help with denial? you may be asking.
well, denial is about self-control, at least at the beginning. if you're new to this, that's probably what you're struggling with! your body loves orgasms, and it's used to getting release when it's stimulated. you start off a session wanting to edge, intending not to cum, but...you just can't; your body pushes you too far. when you've cultivated self-control, at some point your body starts to accept that edging also feels good, but until that point, it's all willpower.
only, part of being a submissive is wanting to surrender your willpower. so my solution to that was always playing both sub and dom, sort of at once, and to make a habit of it, so that even when you're in subspace it's not too far beyond you. how does that work if you're not a switch? you may be asking.
well...when you touch yourself, you probably fantasize, right? or you watch porn, or read erotica, etc. you may not be a switch, or have any urge to dom, but odds are you have an idea of how you'd like to be talked to. so start there.
want to be praised and trained like a beloved pet? when your body starts to get more excited, talk to yourself, and yes, it always feels stupid at first. "good boys don't cum without permission, isn't that right?" "so close to the edge, aren't you? now stop. stop right now. good girl." "be a good puppy and leave those puppy parts alone, calm down for me. good pet." whisper it if you have to, but do say it aloud. repeating it in your head isn't going to be enough at the start. eventually, maybe, but not yet. or do you want to be degraded and talked down to? tell yourself you don't deserve to cum, you're a pathetic toy, you're such a loser for obeying. then obey. in essence, emulate the dom that's in your fantasies. this is step 1. let your inner dom set some arbitrary, easy limits: just one more edge, then you can cum. or five more minutes, then you can cum. don't take away the goal of cumming just yet. and i do mean easy.
what if you don't have concrete fantasies/are imagining more sex acts than actual dirty talk? then get some! set aside 20-30 minutes before your edging attempt and get to dirty daydreaming! visualize the way you like being talked to, then enact it to, for, and by yourself. note the time to start this is before you've ever touched, if it's not already natural to you.
step 2: get comfortable with it. work a little of your "inner dom" into other aspects of your life; don't worry too much about the edging sessions, just get comfortable with this new persona or habit. when you finish a hard task, call yourself a good boy/girl/pet. when you're getting undressed for the shower, ask yourself, sexily, "is this for me?" and then your choice of pretty/handsome little thing or dirty little slut. invoke your inner dom in other areas of your life you imagine enjoying control. remember: you have to learn to bear through edging on self-control alone before you start to really lean into it from an internal perspective. and when you're edging, it's really hard for that to be the only time you're trying to do this.
step 3: when it's becoming more habitual, it's time to bring the edging up a notch. start setting true limits, experimenting with various things. these are the parameters i recommend experimenting with, one at a time, empirical-style:
how many edges can you do in one session before your urge to cum outweighs your inner dom? can you stretch this, with practice?
how does your body feel edging over and over again for 1 hour, vs. edging once per hour the whole day? more desperate and fuzzy, or less?
how does your body feel being teased slowly up to the edge vs. brute-forced into as quick an edge as possible? can you shorten, or lengthen, the times for each?
how close to the edge can you get yourself before a ruin becomes inevitable? what signs in your body point to this - tightening, contracting, throbbing, temperature, tingling? from there, can you roughly estimate a timeframe or amount of certain types of stimulation?
does setting aside specific times of day to edge, and not permitting it outside those times, frustrate/distract you more? or does allowing yourself to edge whenever you have time/feel like it frustrate/distract you more?
is it better to (eventually) cum directly after a long edging session, or to allow yourself to cool down completely and *then* cum?
how many methods of edging (insertion, fingering/stroking, vibration, humping, nipples, etc) can you perform, and in how many positions?
is it more frustrating to gently stroke/fondle yourself once every few minutes for the whole day without edging, or to edge repeatedly in a short period for an hour once a day?
there's a lot more you can try out. i recommend keeping a journal for all this. setting these kinds of goals and experiments for yourself will both a) keep you engaged intellectually and motivated, and b) get you in better communication with your own body. throughout all this, continue practicing that inner dom persona. praise yourself, degrade yourself, have dialogues with yourself; tell yourself to be useful or good, then respond with a pout and a "yes" and your choice of honorific.
more ideas/challenges can be found all over BDSMlr if you look for "edging challenges," but be aware many of them contain bioessentialist themes/language.
step 3.5: most d/s relationships have a reward/punishment hierarchy. so as you're taking step 3, explore what motivates you more - punishment, or reward - and, conversely, what gets you subbier: having more, or less of what motivates you. i'll explain, but:
when you fail a goal by going over the edge or ruining, what's the punishment that makes you feel the most repentant? is it impact, humiliating yourself somehow, some other unpleasant sensation, writing lines or other tedium? what makes you feel the least inclined to disobey again?
when you succeed at a goal, what reward makes you feel most fulfilled? is it an orgasm? several orgasms? sweet treats? a good smoke session? buying new lingerie? some combination of them?
from there: what successes or failures feel most, to least, deserving of the worst/best punishments and rewards? can you rank them?
and then: are you noticing you meet goals more when you're punished strictly, or rewarded fairly?
then here's the complex bit...does it align more, or less, with your desired form of submission to be consistent like that, or inconsistent? do you want a dom who always gives you the same caliber of reward/punishment for the same actions, or one who's cruel enough to keep you guessing at their whims? do you want a dom who adheres to you being more reward- or punishment- motivated, or a dom who doesn't care what motivates you, but rather what pleases them?
when you reward/punish yourself, thank or apologize to yourself, too :)
step 4: keep taking notes, but ask yourself these questions (you may want to take a break from edging just to have a clear mind):
why do i want to stay denied? is it because i like the challenge, or because i like a feeling like helplessness, neediness, vulnerability, or dumbness?
once you have that question answered, move on to: which of the ways/variables i tested while edging best gives me the feeling i'm looking for? was it more frustration, or less? was it frustration in small doses through the day, or all at once at a predictable time? was it switching up my methods, or staying consistent?
do i want to feel dumb/humiliated/put in my place/crushed by denial, or do i want to feel empowered/secured/confident because of it? which of the variables i tested made me feel the way i wanted?
your answer to many of these may be "both" or "i don't know," to which i suggest you spend some time on each. you'll either have a preference, or you'll switch back and forth, or find some middle ground - up to you.
one thing i've noticed is a theme among my advice asks is: how do i stay denied as long/edge as much as you, and that's for you to figure out if you even should. it's time to ask the question, what feels more doable for me: longer time periods without orgasms, or more edges total? you might say "both," to which i'd say, you and every newbie denial sub! it is 100% more feasible to pick one or the other as a goal at a time. hone those skills separately, and they'll naturally come together eventually if you decide you want them to.
step 5: reach for the stars! if you want to, that is :) you may just find you like a stable pattern of denial. you may find that pushing too hard past a certain point causes dropping. you may find that pushing too hard causes life stress. orrr you may find that "more" is never enough...like myself lol. any/all/it changing/some of each is 100% okay. or maybe you get off (or not) on setting impossible challenges and reaping the punishment for it :)
by this time, your body will have hopefully gotten past the awkward "mind thinks edging is hot, but so hot that i cum when trying to do it" phase. a combo of inner dom chatter + having intellectual/introspective challenges to work through was what got me to where i am right now lol. at some point, having my owner there to take the mental load off was great, but also, i'm so used to it that i still dom myself a lot lol. and a quick note: this may not work for you. that's okay, too: that's all part of your learning process. maybe you need external validation, and that's all there is to it - you're at least one step closer to understanding how denial works for you!
i'll finish with some lecturing to your "inner dom:"
good doms obey limits. if you don't like something you try, no matter how mean your inner dom is, you don't have to put up with it again.
good doms know life happens. if real life gets in the way of edging/completing goals, a good dom would never presume to come above that shit. if edging/completing goals is getting in the way of real life, a good dom would adjust so that it doesn't. responsibilities should continue to take precedence.
good doms are risk-aware. if you're experimenting with pain, bondage, anal, sensation play, etc., do what every good dom should do and educate yourself first! know the risks, and implement strategies to mitigate them.
good doms provide aftercare. take care of yourself on the comedown. try to allow time between a session and IRL responsibilities to recenter.
and finally, just a bit of affirmation for you, the person, as you navigate this exciting new lifestyle:
if you're not having fun, don't do it!
you are fully capable of this. whether it's my method or someone else's, if this is what you want, and it feels good, you can do it. you are not a bad sub if you can't, or if you can't do it the way someone else does.
this is not a masculine thing, or a feminine thing, or an enby thing, or a straight thing, or a gay thing, etc. it's not even a sub thing, really, but the sub perspective is the only one i can speak on. it's a kink, or a kink enhancer, that is "for" anyone who likes it!
in that vein, reject that which does not work for your body. do not be afraid to pass up edging advice just because someone seems to know what they're talking about. you also do not have to accept bioessentialist undertones just because it seems like good advice.
and finally: yes, you can dom yourself. you are capable, you are trustworthy (probably more so than even some doms lol), and you are absolutely worthy of your own submission and devotion.
have fun, stay safe, and drip a little, if it suits you c; (and don't hesitate to ask questions on my blog if you still have them!)
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Hi maggots... I have to go out for an entrance exam in a half hour but here I am, stealing a while to talk to you all. I don't know, why are we always making time for the things that are important and using time for the things we have to do but always stealing time for what we want to do? What is wasting time, anyway? I don't know. I don't know much at all.
I made the mistake of playing a new song while typing this first bit. It's Birch, by Big Red Machine and Taylor Swift. Do new songs ever make you feel a bit nervous but excited, like you're experiencing some emotion for the first time and reading a book or watching a movie and you don't quite know how it will end and where it will take you on the way? It's not the kind of thing you do lightly. Well, I mean, it's not the kind of thing I can do lightly. I'll have to listen to it again, while I'm not here writing.
This counts, doesn't it, as writing? Why do I have to be writing my book or a poem or a song for it to be real writing? I'm putting words together and I'm putting them together for us, for you and me. God we make ourselves feel guilty with so many arbitrary definitions.
A familiar song is playing now, The Alcott by The National and Taylor Swift. I think their voices meld together beautiful, gritty and smooth. I think Swift is a skilled singer-songwriter, as well as a performer. I think a lot of things.
Why am I writing an entrance exam? Well, writing is an exaggeration, it'll involve sketching and maybe an interview. It's for an art school. The design school I got into, which I told you all about and was thinking of not doing, well, that got messy. They were... not very polite about a scholarship that they'd said they'd give. And I can't risk going to a situation like my last college. I don't wanna sully this post with it (how do I use words like wanna and sully next to each other, I really cannot pick a way to use this language) but well. It wasn't fun. I don't want to be an unfriendly/unsafe environment if I can help it.
Am I excited or nervous for the exam? Not really. Too many things have happened to leave any room for that. It's mainly resignation, a sort of oh, is this what's happening now? ok. That's sad. But I still care about things, I promise. Not the things I used to, like academics or grades or some abstract future. I care about you. I care about you so much. I think about you all the time. I care about my mum and my dog. About stickers and Good Omens and Sherlock Holmes and music and books.
It's a different kind of caring.
I have ten minutes left. I need to shower and pack my things in that time. I'm cutting it fine. Like a slice of whale. Some of you are confused by that. A lot of you are thinking Asmi, no, no, no. That makes me smirk. A fine slice of whalegina, loves.
I'll tell you all about it one day (hush, those of you still desperately thinking Asmi, no with a mixture of horror and fascination).
It's the sixth of May here. 2024, for those of you who've lost track of years. A Monday. Tomorrow is my twentieth birthday. So many things are happening in my life, not all of them good, but what's always good is you. It's us.
We're good. We're always good. I love you. So much.
I promise, maggots. We're more than friends, we're family. And to whoever it is reading this, maggot, even if we've never spoken, I care about you. Because you took the time to read this. You took the time to care. I care, too. I care about you.
I'll go shower now, in a bit of a rush, but smiling. Because of you. Because of all of you.
Love, Asmi
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How would you describe Lady Shiva to someone who doesn’t know anything about her? (The person is me)
I mean I guess the very short version is she's the battle hungry warrior with a code of honor who seeks only to test themselves against the strongest opponents trope if they got lost on their way to a shonen anime and wound up in the DC universe by accident. Obviously it's a little more complicated than that but yeah, Shiva's one of if not the top martial artist in the DC universe who roams the world looking for for danger, excitement and people who might challenge her. Though the most interesting part is she doesn't only seek to challenge people (or herself) physically. For her it's more about finding fascinating people and testing their resolve to see what it reveals about them. She likes to break people down and build them into the best versions of themselves so that in this way she might learn something about herself. I guess I'd describe her as an anti-hero in most cases but functionally Shiva is almost completely amoral. She's not really "evil" she's just sort of sees concern for right or wrong as arbitrary and immaterial. If you run into her she might help you or she might kill you and it pretty much entirely depends on the mood she's in. She usually lands on the goodguys' side if only because they tend to be more interesting to her and their lives are full of danger and excitement which is really all she lives for. None of which is to say Shiva's completely heartless though, there are a few people she genuinely cares about even if she'd never admit it and she often does come across as just a little more human than she likes to pretend to be.
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Leon Kennedy Slow Burn Fic — Lips of an Angel. (1/?) (NSFW.)
Themes: High School Seniors!AU, slow-burn, pining, best friends to lovers. Eventual NSFW (penetrative sex, cream pie, semi-public sex), mentions of pregnancy and abortion.
Mercie’s note: yes this is self indulgent as fuck lol i don’t care
— With high school graduation fast approaching, Leon Kennedy gives his best friend, Annie, an offer that neither of them can really refuse.
“Well. Fuck me.”
Annie sits on the white tiles of her bathroom floor, a pregnancy test in either hand. And both of them are positive, because the world can’t let this poor girl catch a break. She’d been studying her ass off for Stanford, which was rapidly approaching in about two months time, and now…
“I’m knocked up. Great.”
It’s not like she was a naïve girl — I mean, if she wasn’t intelligent, she wouldn’t have gotten herself a place at Stanford. She knew what she was getting herself into that night, but… it was one of those instances where you assume it’s never gonna happen to you. Until it does.
Annie groans, standing up, placing the two tests on the counter, looking at herself from the side in the mirror. She was about four weeks along, so it wasn’t visible. The only people who know are herself, and her dog, mostly because the goofy labrador wouldn’t leave her stomach alone. But she knows that she has to tell the other half involved in this incident — after all, it takes two to tango.
She opens her phone, and her thumb hovers over the contact for her best friend, Leon.
They were an unlikely duo, for sure. Annie was the reserved one of the duo. Quiet, elegant, slightly aloof to those who don’t know her. Leon would always tease her, telling her she was like the moon, or a black cat, because of her elegance. And he wasn’t wrong, either. While Annie was never able to see her own beauty, she really was ethereal. Cascading red hair, porcelain skin, and these eyes that ascended beyond being just blue… they were so light in colour that they were piercingly so, but there was a hidden vulnerability to them if you took in her appearance for long enough. She was the definition of “slim thick”, a real knockout for sure. As her closest girl friends, Claire Redfield and Jill Valentine would always say— “how the FUCK are you single, Annie?”
It was something she’d just laugh off.
Leon Kennedy, her best friend, was the total opposite, however. He was the extrovert, the excitable golden retriever puppy, the sun. If the boy had a tail, it’d be wagging a mile a minute. He was popular amongst the senior cohort for being the star quarterback, yet he was as down to earth as he was the day he enrolled as a freshman. He was always smiling, always joking, but was always very respectful of everyone he interacted with. He didn’t care for arbitrary things like popularity or body counts— he was a respectable guy, and treated everyone with the respect they deserved, no matter the cliques they ran in. He was a dirty blonde, toned, slightly muscular, but slender in frame. His blue eyes were a lot deeper, and if you were Annie… they were a lot softer, but only for her. His guy friends, Chris Redfield and Carlos Oliveira, had no idea how he didn’t have a girlfriend, either.
Annie swallows back her pride, and dials Leon’s number, tapping her thumb against her other hand in beat to the dial tone.
“Moon-cat… it’s three in the damn morning… is it your cramps acting up again? Want me to sneak out and cuddle you?”
Annie chuckles softly into her cell, wishing it was just cramps.
“Something like that, yeah. It’s fine if you can’t sneak out, I don’t your mom ripping you a new one like last time…”
There’s a genuine, happy laugh from the other line.
“Don’t be silly. Gimme fifteen and I’ll shimmy up your dad’s wisteria climber like I did in junior year. Wait for me to knock on your window, m’kay? Love you!”
Annie chuckles softly as Leon hangs up, walking out of her en-suite bathroom, and into her bedroom again. Given the time of night, she’s still in her pyjamas, which are a cropped black tank top, wine red cycling shorts, and black fuzzy slippers. She waits by the window, smiling at the memory of junior year — her periods were particularly bad that year, and it made her a very crappy, very emotional mess. So, Leon would set it so that his phone would only make notifications from her audible on a night, and whenever she’d call in tears, there he’d be, shimmying his way up that damned climbing plant that trailed up to her window, with tampons and chocolate. And then, they’d lay there, spooning for hours, until dawn rose, and Leon would dash back to his house before his parents realised where he was in the next morning. He’d be exhausted, but it made him so happy knowing that she was being cared for, by him, and that she wasn’t alone at her worst.
The lines of their friendship had always been blurred, which is why Annie was now carrying his child.
It was about a month ago, and it was one of the last games of American Football of the season before state championships. Annie knew jackshit about sports outside of Formula One, but she always came with their little friend group, to cheer as loud as humanly possible for him. Their friend group was herself, Leon, Jill Valentine, Carlos Oliveira, and Chris and Claire Redfield.
She remembers the night so vividly…
Annie returns from the concession stand, with a cherry slushie. It’s staining her lips red, which makes the others giggle. She’s in her favourite outfit, that she always wears to the games— little black dress, long, black, heeled thigh high boots, and a black and baby pink racing-style jacket. She’s tied her long, red hair back, but she’s left her bangs loose at the front, so that they frame her face. Her lips have a little red tint to them — a mixture of the slushie, and her red lip tint, and her black eyeliner is done with near surgical precision. She takes her seat in between Jill and Claire, and she sees Leon doing some last stretches on the pitch, before the game. He sees Annie, and sticks his tongue out at her childishly — it was a pre-game tradition for them both. She sticks her tongue back out at him, and she immediately sees Leon crack up upon seeing her slushie-stained tongue.
He plays flawlessly, as always. But there’s something about him tonight that makes him seem prettier than usual — maybe it’s the way the floodlights are illuminating his face, maybe it’s the sheen of sweat covering his body, or maybe it’s that damned goofy smile he cracks at her with each touch-down he scores. The friend group are cheering and chanting his name, but Annie is the loudest. She always has been.
The game ends, and naturally, with Leon on the field, it’s a landslide victory, The friend group walk onto the pitch after the game, praising Leon on the win that he made happen. But he always hugs Annie first and tousles her hair, before he reacts to any of the praise.
Chris is grinning.
“Well, folks. Whose turn is it to treat Leon to his celebratory milkshake this time?
Leon chuckles, but waves his hand.
“You guys go on without me. I need to do some cooldown stretches before I go anywhere. I won’t be able to walk in the morning if I don’t.”
“Damn, Leon! That sounds like what I feel like after I’ve gone out hooking up for the night in my car. But it’s way more fun for me, because I get the chicks, and you all you get is to throw a pigskin around.” Chris laughs. “We’ll see you at the diner, yeah? Don’t be late or the free milkshake offer will expire.
Leon just rolls his eyes playfully.
“Yeah, yeah. See you guys in a little while.”
The others head to the diner, but Annie hangs back, smiling at Leon. They look back, expecting her to come with, but Carlos just shakes his head and laughs.
“Leave those two to it. They’re looking at each other with those damned eyes they give each other again. ‘Just best friends”, my ass.”
The others laugh, partially in amusement, partially in agreement, and they head to leave the pitch,
Annie walks up to him, wrapping her arms around him slowly.
“You were incredible out there, really. That thing you did where you threw the ball on the ground? Incredible. Sent everyone fucking bananas.”
Leon laughs softly, wrapping his arms around her waist.
“Ever considered the whole sports commentary thing after graduation next month instead of Stanford? You really do have a way with words that makes American Football sound riveting.” He rolls his eyes playfully, nudging her. “C’mon, let’s go sit on the bleachers for a while. I just wanna relax for a bit, because you know the moment we step foot in that damned diner, Chris and Carlos are gonna be ribbing each other over something stupid.”
Annie laughs softly, and Leon takes her hand, and they sit in the very top corner of the bleachers. Everyone has gone now, and the stars are out, illuminating the two souls, whose connection goes beyond just the platonic— but they’re currently none the wiser.
She rests her head on Leon’s shoulder instinctively, as they look up at the stars together. They see one shoot by, and Annie gasps happily.
“Shooting star! You gotta make a wish, Leon.”
Leon laughs softly, breaking his gaze from the stars, to look at Annie’s face.
“C’mon, you seriously don’t believe in all that, right?”
Annie pouts, nudging him playfully.
“I still made a wish,” she grumbles softly.
Leon puts of an act of mock defeat, holding his heart dramatically, as if he’s just been wounded.
“And you didn’t tell me? C’mon, An—ni—iiie! Tell me!” He laughs, shaking her by the shoulders, which makes Annie giggle.
“I can’t tell you. You’ll take the piss out of me.”
“I’m your best friend,” Leon chuckles. “Taking the piss out of you is basically my full-time occupation.”
Annie glares playfully, and Leon notices a slight hint of blush creep across her cheeks.
“F-fine. My wish is… that I’m not gonna graduate as a virgin. I’m one of the only people, to my knowledge, who is still a virgin in the senior cohort. There’s six weeks till graduation, and I’d feel like a total loser if I graduated as a virgin.”
Leon laughs aloud into the stars, but then his expression softens when he realises that Annie really means it.
“Annie… it’s just a dumb teen rite of passage. You don’t gotta do it if you don’t wanna.”
“I know, I know. But after graduation, I have two months, before I end up at Stanford. And I guess… I want my first time to be special, rather than with a college frat boy who sees me as just another notch on his bedpost, you know?’
Leon’s face softens, and he takes his hand in hers, and their gazes both return back to the stars.
“You know I’m still a virgin too, right, Annie?” Leon chuckles softly.
“Bullshit. There’s no way you haven’t lost yours.”
“I’m being serious.”
They both go quiet again, Leon running his calloused thumb over the soft skin of her hand. The stars are flashing, twinkling, and Leon places a gentle kiss on the top of her head.
“Are you really serious about losing your virginity before graduation, Annie? Is this something you really want?”
Annie nods, sighing softly as she keeps her gaze on the stars.
“In that case… let me pitch what might be the most bizarre offer in the history of our friendship, ever,” Leon chuckles, still rubbing her thumb over her dainty little hand. “If you’re dead set on wanting to have your first time, then… let it be with me, your best friend. Let’s give each other our virginities, right here, right now.”
“Wait, for real?”
“Only if you wanna, of course. The bleachers are empty, so… why not?”
Leon stands up, sliding off his varsity jacket. He lays it out on the bleacher table, smiling.
“It’s not the most ideal, I know. But I think having our first times under the stars would be way prettier than doing it in the back of that damn car you never clean,” he teases “so… what do you say?”
Annie stands up now, wrapping herself around Leon, looking up at him with those intensely blue eyes.
“Thank you, Leon. There’s… no one else I’d want to do this with.”
He smiles, and his lips graze against hers softly, his hand coming up to wrap itself against her cascading, red mane. There’s a tenderness, and a hidden longing oozing from the both of them, Annie craning her neck slightly to meet his mouth. Her own hands snake up the back of his neck, and she seems to pull him in closer, desperate for time to just freeze, and for the two of them to be stuck in this moment forever. Annie’s tongue softly meets his lower lip, a sensation that makes Leon shudder in arousal.
“Annie, f-fucking hell…” Leon groans, immediately feeling all the blood rush between his thighs. He’s kissing back with longing, pining, and Annie is moaning softly against his lips.
His free hand travels lower, caressing her ass softly, worshipping her curves with his hand.
“You’re beautiful, Annie,” Leon breathes, pulling away from her softly with a smile. “To do this for you, it’s… well, let’s just say I’m feeling like I’m a damn lucky guy.”
Annie giggles softly, as she presses her forehead to his, her breath hot and sweet. “You’re pretty too, Leon. Pretty damn silly.”
Leon laughs softly, grazing his lips against hers, groaning at the touch. He’s already pitching a tent, and Annie feels herself throbbing from such a simple, yet intimate touch. He scoops her up into those athletic arms of his, and lays her on the varsity jacket he’d laid out on the bleacher bench earlier. He smiles softly at her, as he climbs on top of the bench, over her, caressing her face with his calloused fingertips.
“I-I’m already hard, Annie, I-I won’t lie. I might not last very long…” Leon gives her that signature lopsided smile, and Annie just giggles softly.
“I don’t care about that, Leon. Having you do this for me… well, I can’t thank you enough.”
Leon presses his lips to hers, pining for her touch, and they moan against the other’s lips, as they graze their tongues against one another in such an intimate state.
“Th-the pleasure’s all mine, Annie…”
Leon’s hands snake up her dress, and he looks for Annie to give him the go ahead to slide down her panties, and she nods. They’re black silk, which makes Leon smile softly, and he turns to Annie.
“Good choice in panties.” He chuckles, bringing them down around her ankles.
“Only the best for me.” Annie rolls her eyes playfully, which makes Leon laugh softly, looking at his best friend with an admiration and affection that’s bubbling over the boundaries of platonic.
Leon’s fingers find their way between her thighs, and to her pussy. His thumb finds her clit with ease, and he massages the little bud, while his index and middle fingers trace softly around the outside of her wetness. Annie lets out a happy little purr, arching her back at the touch. The sound she lets out simultaneously makes Leon so happy to see his best friend having a good time, but also makes him even more horny, if that’s even possible. He can’t help but kiss her thighs softly and messily, and Annie lets out a sound that’s half giggle, half moan.
“I’ve always told you this…,” he murmurs from in between her thighs, “but you’ve always had the prettiest voice. You know that, right?”
The sweet smell of her pussy is making him whimper, and he can’t help but lap softly at it, which makes Annie whimper in turn. This is Annie’s experience, he thought to himself, and he just wants to worship every bit of her body, like it deserves. Annie reaches her hand down to stroke his hair as he laps softly at her, her eyelashes fluttering at the sensation. Her happy little moans are like cocaine to him, and he can’t help but smile and whimper with each contented noise she makes.
He gets up from his position now, and leans over the top of her again, running his fingers over her fading self-harm scars from sophomore year, smiling at her with such an intense admiration for her body. Annie can feel the heat rising inside her, and she lets out a little breathy “I’m ready, Leon.”, smiling at him softly. Leon bites his lip a little, sliding down the trousers of his football uniform, his belt making a slight clinking sound. He shakes them from his ankles clumsily, which makes Annie giggle, and him smile. As he pulls down his boxers, Leon notices he’s already been dribbling pre-cum, just from the feel of her lips and the taste of her wetness alone.
Annie giggles softly, as she watches him toss his boxers aside with the trousers of his football uniform.
“Man, I must taste good for you to react like that.”
Leon chuckles, as he climbs back on top of her.
“You were always somehow even prettier when you were more self-confident, Annie.”
He takes one of Annie’s little hands in his larger ones, their fingers interlocking, while the other holds her waist.
“If it feels like too much, promise me you’ll say something. This is your experience, moon-cat.”
“I promise, sun-puppy.”
Leon slides into her, and for a split second, their visions blur, at the sheer sensation of their bodies becoming one. If there was an ultimate nirvana, it was this. Two best friends, who didn’t even realise that in a matter of months, their feelings would stretch beyond the platonic entirely. They both moan at the same time, and then smile at each other, laughing breathlessly. Annie’s hand tightens its grip around Leon’s, as his thrusts start softly and gently in intensity. He’s so needy, so hard, that Annie is almost certain that she can feel him throughout her whole body. She smiles at him, smiling breathlessly, mouth slightly agape, as if to say, ‘keep going’. As they share one another under the stars, all that Leon is thinking about is Annie. And all Annie is thinking about is Leon. She’s quivering pleasurably underneath him, as she wraps her legs around Leon’s toned back, which makes Leon smile softly, kissing the corner of her mouth. Annie uses her free hand to play with his hair, smiling breathlessly at him. It was if they were high, or drunk, on one another. The other’s touch, the other’s pheromones, the other’s presence. It’s as if they can both feel a molten heat rising in their cores, as Leon keeps his gentle pace, but it’s clear they’re both ready for their releases.
“Leon…”
Leon takes his free hand, caressing her cheek.
“Annie.”
She’s tightening and convulsing around him, as if her body is trying to pull him in closer, deeper. It’s so heavenly that they’re both losing their damn minds — their senses totally clouded by the presence of the other. Leon moans her name softly, groaning as he kisses the corner of her mouth, his cock twitching, flooding her needy pussy with his hot cum. Annie’s eyes roll back. and she pulls Leon closer with her free hand and her legs, and she tightens around him as she reaches her own climax. She’s left a very sweet flood of arousal at the base of his softening cock, as the both of them lay there, spent, panting, but grinning. Annie wasn’t on birth control, and Leon didn’t have a condom to hand, but the feeling of the sex— no, the love-making between them, had completely clouded their judgment. As Leon pulled out, the two of them started laughing breathlessly, and he kissed her forehead tenderly…
As Annie is reminiscing from that night a month ago, she hears a gentle tap at the window. It’s Leon, her “sun-puppy”, having shimmied up the wisteria plant with his iconic lopsided grin, waiting to be let in.
“Hey, moon-cat! I brought chocolate. What’s up, anyway?”
Annie gulps softly as he very clumsily rolls through her window, and takes a deep breath.
This is gonna be one helluva conversation.
#resident evil#fanfic#fanfiction#carlos oliveira#resident evil fanfiction#leon kennedy smut#resident evil imagine#leon s kennedy x reader#leon kennedy x reader#leon s kennedy#re2 leon#leon kennedy#leon scott kennedy#leon kennedy x oc
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honestly coming out as a lesbian has helped me feel more at peace with aging.
straight men are so gross and they see women as disposable objects of desire rather than real people. our heteronormative society had consequently brainwashed me into thinking i could only be "attractive" for a finite amount of years.
but this was only considering men's warped standard of feminine "attractiveness", which it turns out i don't care about at all.
I know women are attractive past 25 years old bc I can see women that I'm attracted to in their 40s, 50s, 60s, etcetera. Kathryn Hahn??? Sarah Paulson??? Gillian Anderson??? Cate Blanchett??? you're going to try and tell me that they aren't "attractive" anymore because they've passed some arbitrary best before date imposed by cisheteropatriarchy??? I'm sorry but that's bullshit. I know because I have eyes.
I absolutely don't care that I'm too old for leonardo DiCaprio now. he, along with all fetishizing straight men, can fuck all the way off and leave me alone. I'd much rather make out with a hot middle aged lady anyway.
I also feel more certain that my partner will find me attractive into my middle age, and I will find her attractive all the same. I'm excited to grow old with my girlfriend and still think she's just as hot at 65 as I did when we were 22.
Anyways, fuck men, fuck the patriarchy, and fuck the arbitrary beauty standards they impose.
#patriarchy#cisheteropatriarchy#cisheteronormativity#misandry#sapphic#lesbian#proud misandrist#wlw#lgbt#lesbian rights#kathryn hahn#cate blanchett#sarah paulson#gillian anderson
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No One Jumps For The Beef
Minecraft Parkour Civilization, why the fuck does this have a grip on me? The kind of hyperfixsation rotting that is all consuming but no idea what to do with. Well my answer to that, and putting the degree I have been slaving over to use (Creative Writing) on why I have been absorbed. Now disclaimer, obviously there are a few issues here and there, I am fully aware, perfection is arbitrary and made up. But why is it so enjoyable for me? I'm going to talk about why it works. For me, every film these days tries to be something new. Breaking and twisting old rules, tropes and what have you and it ends up being a weak story. And ends up being a lame carbon copy of something that had done it right. The main thing? In Parkour Civilization, it's all about Parkour. Everything is Parkour. And once that rule was established on how the world worked, it stuck to it. Even if it bend and twisted it to see where that rule could be used, it never broke. Which honestly can make for interesting story telling. It shouldn't have worked, and it hasn't in the past. It's been a few years or so since I've seen something like this that is actually fun and enjoyable to watch. I've been in the Minecraft Fandom for 12 years, I've seen it all. But what made this work? is it had fun, it took itself seriously while being funny. I actually laughed at a lot of the jokes and sometimes absurdity of it all. Even in the second movie, with the Parkour God, the Parkour races, it was always about Parkour. If you are having fun with something, even a simple story that we have seen time and time again can be exciting. That is a story of Classism and Anti Capitalism. For Classism, think The Great Gastby, Hunger Games, To Kill A Mocking Bird, Crazy Rich Asians and so on so forth. It's not an old trope, but we love seeing the under dog climb up that ladder, fighting for who they are and what they believe in. And PKC, we see it. But it took that foundation and built something fun out of it. Adding a world where it can thrive and we watch our hero rise to the top with all the skills he has built upon. A classic tale that we can watch over and over again and find something new that doesn't try to break the trope into a million pieces. Being straight forward with a trope is not evil. It's when you don't do anything with it or try and turn it into something unrecognizable, that it becomes boring. The door is in fact blue for a reason. Or when I tell people "Why is the door blue?" it is in fact deeper than you would think. Or if you are paying attention to literally devices, you find things to be far more enjoyable. The implications of how this society actually works and the effects it has on people. Or watching the character use my favorite literally device Chekhov's Gun "a narrative principle where an element introduced into a story first seems unimportant but will later take on great significance. The principle postulates that any seemingly unimportant element introduced into a story—an object, a character trait, a backstory, an allergy—should later have relevance." Pay attention to the first movie if you haven't seen it yet, and then go watch the second one. Those are my basic thoughts for now. Might add more later if I feel like it.
#Been bugging my friends to watch this for a while#It's been a while since I have enjoyed a series outside my usual go tos#minecraft#parkour civilization#ld speaks
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