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Fucking god bless my ability to write dialogue and literally nothing else, because I have a lot of thoughts and opinions on things and also find myself very funny, all of which make for amazing dialogue writing which means I am fantastic at writing chat fics or social media fics because they are in fact all dialogue, and anyways I haven’t been able to write a lot the past few years as my fatigue, pain, and brain fog get worse but I can still manage to occasionally pump out those little bits of dialogue and that makes me happy.
Is there a plot hidden in those fics? Yeah kind of, if you squint. But a lot of it is just friends fucking around and having fun together. Easy for me, with my main dialogue skill. And helpful also for the days I don’t feel like talking but still have so much to say
#ravenpuff rambles#I’ve been working on my Dps chat fic again because House got be thinking about Neil#but it’s not just that#you know the one fic I’ve updated the most the past while is Midtown Avengers#which is all social media stuff#two of my other most recent fics are for a chat fic universe#and of course I have a chat fic in almost every fandom o write for#(not for dc yet but the video diaries were all dialogue and that’s kind of the same)#most of the content I’ve been able to make for my novel is chat stuff#I wish I could use my other words better but I’m glad I have these fics at least to let me express something#slowly and not a lot at a time but it’s something
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the machine.
a comic about being a 'creator' online.
creative notes:
#in light of recent online 'success' i feel like this may come off as ungrateful#just wanna say that all the comics i make in this series are written about experiences i felt in 2022#which was a rough year personally and creatively#and i very luckily don't feel this way anymore#and this also isnt to shame anyone who DOES feel this way#its easy to start to feel like all you are is a vending machine of art#and like thats all you are to people#theres nothing human to you#it can be a bit of a pit#and on some level this damage is self inflicted but social media really doesnt help that feeling#this wont work for everyone but having friends around you who you can talk to about stuff that ISNT art#going outside for dinner#maybe walking around#its good for when you need that feeling to go away even a bit temporarily#youre a human being#not a mindless content creation machine#and i hope anyone who feels like this now can get to a place where they have a healthier relationship with their own work#good luck to all of you#and thank you for reading#comic art#its 10pm#stillindigo art
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On average, what is the total MONTHLY amount that you spend on dining out*?
*(This doesn't only count going out to restaurants, but also stuff like picking up fast food to bring home, getting a coffee on the way to work, getting a premade sandwich from a grocery store deli during lunch, buying a quick snack from a convenience store or food cart whilst walking somewhere, ordering a pizza or any other food to be delivered to your home, etc.)
*(If you often dine out in groups/as a household: calculate and divide the costs so that you get a Per Person average. This is for YOU individually, NOT the total household/group costs)
(I'm sure polls similar to this have been made before (very common topic), I just haven't personally seen one that I can remember, so, I was curious to do my own! I was discussing this with a group of people today and it was very interesting to see how widely the number varied between individuals. :0c )
(Reblog for bigger sample size if you can, and feel free to explain your answer in tags if there's anything extra to add!)
#polls#tumblr polls#I'm mostly in the 0/1 - 25$ category. Maybe the rare month is a bit over $25 if there's something specific going on like birthday.#Which I'm NEVER eating in an actual restaurant (erm... covid... plus I just hate restaurant environments. i would rather pickup#the food and bring it home to a peaceful quiet environment that I control lol). But more typically like stopping by a grocery store deli#section or something. I don't have coffee that much. And I can't eat fast food much due to my health issues/diet restriction stuff#so if I'm out like coming back from an appointment and I start feeling really sick and weak. I know that a hamburger will just#blow up my system and cause nausea or something. So I try to pick the breadiest most#neutral looking turkey sandwich at the safeway deli to eat during the hour ride home or whatever lol#I actually kind of wish I could do stuff like get food more often vecause it would take the burden of cooking everything off of me#but.. alas... Money... and Health Things... T o T#I still wouldn't do it ALL the time but like... once a week instead of once a month or something.. or maybe turning into a coffee#person.. I do love drinks A LOT .. i am a drink person who will have 5 different drinks sipping on at all times#But i just have to make them all myself mostly lol#And I cant really have too much coffee since it will make me sick. so like.. teas and juice mostly#When I inevitably become a millionaire by never using social media never networking and only finishing one#sculpture every 5 months which I dont even post about or sell - then I shall... get more drinks..#I will somehow wean my body onto coffee and drink one a day solely for the ritual of it#Though even then... I would still probably just like.. buy the mateirals to make it at home or something#Like if you had a million dollars you could just buy a kitchen grade ice cream machine and other stuff to make your own milkshakes and#coffees and smoothies and bubble teas. Genuinely I think even if I were a BILLIONAIRE I would still look at playing likr $8 for a single#coffee and go .. uh.... I could just buy the equipment to make this and then save that money. PLUS. its in my house now so no need to#have to leave. I can make my own drinks in the comfort of home. .. ideal..#Like no matter how rich I ever got I would still have the lingering scroogey stinginess. like i am NOT paying for that. I will jus#make it myself. Especially if it was an Everyday thing. Anythign thats part of my routine I try to optimize and make as efficient as#possible... ANYWAY.. In an IDEAL world I would get treats. but probably not that much. as on a daily basis it would start to get#to me and I would just save up to buy kitchen machinery if I was rich lol
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An interesting observation I need to report to you all from when I was out touching grass last month (hiking/camping): People in the real world seem to consistently react to me saying that tumblr is my primary social media by going "Isn't that a dating app????"
#i'm convinced they're confusing it with grindr but i can't say for sure#this happened like a dozen times with people in an age range of 30-60#they'd be like oh you have an online shop? do you have to use instagram and facebook a lot? has twitter/x stuff made your life harder??#and i'm like nah i'm mostly immune to all that because for whatever reason the only social media i have a significant following on is tumbl#i think i'm too weird for the other ones so tumblr is the only place that gets me#and then they would all go “isn't that a dating app??” or “i thought that's a dating site that shut down???”#this is what regular people out in the world think of us#which isn't what i expected#lol
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seriously considering just giving up on instagram as a place to post art. i used to get some engagement on there back in the day - not much, but some - and over the past year it's dwindled to almost nothing... i post regularly, tag everything, interact with other creators, comment on posts, etc, but even with all that i get maybe 10 likes max and i'm pretty sure half the people who follow me don't even see what i post because the algorithm pushes the more popular creators to the top of the feed. it's just depressing man
#i have about the same number of followers on my art tumblr as i do on my art instagram#and when i post stuff on here it can get hundreds or even thousands of notes#but insta is just radio silent.#obviously engagement and social media is not the be all end all but it sucks to work on something for days and get 2 likes#one of which is usually my mum lol#be shh now
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The unmistakable sound of footsteps approaching begins to fill the air. Whoever is coming seems to have brought some company along…
They are getting closer… and closer… and closer…
…and closer…
……until..................
"Goooooood evenin'!!" Comes the loud greeting from a certain blond man. A big smile on his face and all.
"We beg your pardon for our prolonged absence. It was completely beyond our control..." Then adds the gentleman standing by his side, apologizing on behalf of both, offering a genuine smile along with the apology.
"...BUT! We're back!" And hopefully for good this time…
#[HI HIIIIIII~~ HOW'S EVERYONE DOING?? 8)]#[IDK IF ANYONE REMEMBERS ME OR MY MUSES ANYMORE?? BUT HELLOOO]#[one million years later but we're backkkkkk]#[i'd like to start by apologizing for completely disappearing for months without any announcement]#[life has been far from kind all this year so far and this has greatly and negatively impacted me emotionally]#[like..very VERY badly (harmful stuff and etc)]#[all to a point where i've had to take some time off from most social media]#[and which is also why i haven't checked or replied to any messages anywhere in a while]#[not that i'm the most social and most active person ever but you get what i mean here ;v;]#[the original plan was to come back here like a month or so ago but as you can guess i was unable to due to the same irl issues]#[i'm not gonna lie i'm still not doing well]#[but i wanted to come back or at least try to]#[since writing for these two and the ogre street guys always brings me joy and i also missed everyone here!]#[i'm still unsure if dropping threads will be the way to go for now or not#because i have no idea if my partners are still interested in any threads we had prior my unannounced hiatus]#[or if anyone's still interested in interacting with me and my muses again ;v;]#[so if we have ongoing threads i'll likely be jumping into your IMs over the course of the days to ask about it]#[i just need to check my thread tracker first because i can't remember what i owed last time ;;;;;;]#[as always: we can start new stuff any time in case you're no longer feeling whatever threads we had]#[and we can also start from scratch if that's best too]#[so no worries there!]#[enough blablah from me for now]#[i missed you all so much!]#[and to the new followers this blog somehow earned in my absence: Hi!! Thank you for following and I hope we can interact soon!!]#[hope everyone has been doing great during my absence!! <3]#;speedwagon says (( ic ))#;jonathan says (( ic ))#;ic#(??#;speedwagon withdraws coolly
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anyways peace sign emoji im gonna go disappear again bc even being on here is making me so anxious i get sick lmao
#im like this with all social media these days except for reddit which doesnt count tbh#im just. idk.#tbh i looked up and it went from october to january in like 3 days.#im getting out of bed again though. doing stuff#i had an incident recentlyish so#everyone seems to be keeping a close eye on me now#since yk. people love me and dont wanna lose me#im okay now dw#i mean. im alive and will stay alive#but boy i am unhappy ab it
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just got a dm abt one of my posts and y'all please don't try and show the hermits (or any minecraft youtuber or content creator for that matter) my posts, i'm uncomfortable with it and don't want any of my posts shown to a cc. if they stumble upon it naturally that's unfortunate but i can live with it since i do maintag a lot (something i REALLY need to stop doing tbh i already know i need to make a tagging system just for my blog that wont clog results) but going out of ur way to show a cc is entirely different and something i am not comfortable with.
no hate to the person at all but even if i wasn't a little silly and weird with it sometimes i wouldn't be comfortable with it, i want my blog to be a purely fandom only space with none of the creators involved <3 please respect this
#which is imo how a fandom space should be#i'm old fashioned and it breaks the fandom etiquette rules i stand by#i ship and stuff and absolutely NO cc needs to be subjected to that please and thank you even if it's a non-ship post#not saying hermits and others cant hang out and interact if they wish hell no but like....#if you as any person with a following willingly go into a fandom space you have to expect to see some things you find weird#doesn't even necessarily mean ship just stuff the cc finds weird :v idk im not phrasing this right but like#the rule with shipping around any sort of media has been to keep it away and not show the creators anything !!! and thats fallen out#of practice the past few years with ppl getting more and more comfortable demanding boundaries and personal info from creators#which isn't right imo bc its like you're trying to see how much you can get away with. u want a guide on how to interact and social skills#which is... huh??? just be polite and keep anything weird away from them like what we were doing#some folks nowadays need “permission” to ship stuff even from SHOWS and shit with no real people and its like wow... huh....#u need it to be canon?? u need everything told to u by the show?? wheres the imagination. the spirit.#the making of everything so far removed from what it once was#like that guy that played nick from heartstopper that had to be outed to play a gay guy. like#idk im so sick of the boundary fandom ppl in mcyt 'what if they saw and made it uncomfortable!! im going to show them!!!!'#you are making them MUCH more uncomfortable than i am by GOING INTO THEIR FACE AND DEMANDING THEY LOOK AT IT!!#AND DEMANDING BOUNDARIES N SHIT... CRAZY.... idk the hermits especially its weird to me bc clearly they understand fandom etiquette#and the dynamic im talking about. most of them understand that by going into fandom spaces they will see things they dont like#which is why a lot of them only like fanart and answer questions asked by fans. even on tumblr !!! where the weird ppl are!!!#they also all seem to understand they are playing characters (citing joel cleo and grian as examples) for their audiences#which is. smth the audience itself doesnt understand most of the time anymore. oh my god they all died in real life in hermitcraft season 8#idk hermitblr used to be a lot more okay with hermitshipping n then a bunch of ppl from other fandoms moved in and its all more negative#and makes me sad. idk...#i never meant for this blog to gain almost 500 followers i just wanted to make silly little ship posts and now im scared to#bc ive gotten hate and its.... bwugh.... tempted to remake blogs and make one thats very clearly just for me and a few weirdos#whatever i went off on a tangent in the tags as usual just pls dont show creators my posts even non-ship ones for this reason#jamies bad posts#talking in tags#serious posts#<- ig??? idk
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I might take a little social media break soon, I need to focus on some big events coming up on my life and I feel like it’d just be good for my health in general
I’ll still be on discord a lot tho (I love talking to my friends yayy) so if you wanna talk to me for any reason you can find me there!! Waos!!!!
So uhh bye in around a week I guess!!
#lemon man talks#Lately I’ve been subconsciously being less active here#I haven’t used any other social media in a while tbh#I feel kinda bad like I’m abandoning my mutuals but also I can’t bring myself to be more active#I’m exhausted and busy and anxious and I need to get my shit together and I don’t have the time to be on tumbler dot com anymore#I miss my mutuals tho :((#You guys are awesome#I can assure you I have not stopped being annoying on discord so we can talk there yayy#If you noticed that I haven’t been reblogging or posting at all as much as I used to#Congrats? Why would you notice that?#Uh yeah I’ll probably be gone for a bit#Just lurking#seeing what the mutuals are up to#Might reblog some stuff related to my current main interests#(Like drawtectives. Sighh)#But I’ll be less active than usual#Which may be good? I’ll be less annoying for sure#I hope no one hates me for this#Take care byee
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every time jun has gone back to China for activities I become more and more done with XCSS (Pledis China)... it's so clear they're incompetent and don't understand how the Chinese entertainment industry works 🙃
#either that and/or theyre deliberately sabatoging jun#which like... i do abide by the whole 'dont attribute to malice what you could attribute to incompetence' thing#but also at this point its ridiculous...#a very summarized version is that in china its very common practice for companies to collaborate directly with official fanbases#so fanbases can organize events and provide promotion and support etc.#like its hard to explain but fanbases are more official organizations that are an important part of the entertainment industry#its basically a job for some people#but xcss/pledis has not been properly communicating with juns fanbases (jfortepiano and jun bar)#and its been causing a lot of issues#theyre also not following certain social media conventions for events apparently#all of which is hurting the promotion of juns acting activities#its also not a good look when every other actor has this fan support and jun either doesnt have any or has last minute stuff put together#bc the fanbases were not given proper notice/communication from the company#also im saying this as someone who has actually defended pledis (korea) for many things so like#yall know i wouldnt be complaining about this if it was just a small thing or there was some other explanation for it#the best explanation is that theyre incompetent and are treating c-ent like its k-ent when its not#but after all these years shouldnt they have learned by now and hired people who know what theyre doing??#might delete this but i needed to rant#its also frustrating when so called carats insult jun for doing solo activities and act like he thinks hes above svt#when hes not even getting proper support for his solo activities from the company 🙃#like no babes i promise this is not easier for him 😭#also i have to wonder what the xcss employees even do most of the time...#as far as i know they dont have any artists that promote solely in korea so jun and minghao should be their main priotities right???#but they seem to do jack shit whether chinaline is in korea or back in china to promote stuff#like not even the bare minimum half the time#ugh anyway#melia.txt
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i love being a writer.
#rambearling#persona 4#p4#titling google docs is my favorite thing tbh. but also this one's just an apt description-#we have amazing titles such as ''genderfluid teddie go brrrrr''#and ''narukuma january silliness''#and ''teddie sickfic because i'm suffering'' lkfsjflkdfjsfkld-#''souyo wingmanning go brr'' is also a highlight. i say go brr a lot-#and then there's boring stuff like ''p4 arcana swap chatfic'' n ''p3/p4 social media fic'' n ''p4pu script''#n ''p4 skype shenanigans yippee''#and i just realized that's the first time i'm bringing p4pu up directly here lksfjsdjdfkfksjfd-#tbf all i've written for it is yosuke's s.link (with romance yippeeeeee)#and rise's s.link as the femc (lesbianism yippeeeeee)#both of which were basically just a bunch of copy-pasting for the first few ranks cuz they're the same lksfjdfssjfdkfjds-#rise's is especially unchanged on account of her being a romance option already for yu#for yosuke i had to add a bunch of stuff his rank 9 has like a whole extra dialogue exchange for if you got his romance flag-#also writing that made me remember how frustrated yosuke's social link makes me THOSE GIRLS ARE SO MEAN TO HIM FOR NO REASON#they just??? unpromptedly bring up saki??? like they're clearly TRYING to piss him off#i know most of inaba hates yosuke but seriously what did he do to those two girls he's just existing-#he's not even your employer why are you complaining to him-#......... anyways
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boy in silly sitting positions compilation
#cats#I especially like the last one where he just has one single paw poking out of that box for some reason lol#I still have costumes to post and like a billion other things.... grr... constantly failing at staying active on social media aughh#I think because currently my Main Focus is on trying to get my game done and stuff.. which basically just means sitting and writing all day#so there's not much to post about. Though I know the Good At Social Media thing to do would be to post about the#writing and share progress and talk about the game and characters or whatever to try to build interest or something but that is SOOO weird#to me.. I could maybe get it if it was like a tiny tiny discord groupchat of playtesters with like 5 people in#it.. But something about talking openly about things before they happen is weird to me?? Like presumptuous feeling or something#''oooo guess whats gonna happen LATER!!!'' like.. how do you know.. what if it doesnt. what if you dont finish it. what if its not the way#you think it's going to be. what if something changes. etc. Like I literally avoid movie trailers and game trailers for the same reason ghj#Even if it's not ME doing it it just feels... weird.. Maybe it has to do with my OCD and how I just don't like talking about ''future''#things in Certain Terms. Like if I was going to say ''Oh yeah sure. come over to my house in a few months''. I would have to follow it up#with like ''HOPEFULLY you can come over to my house in a few months'' or 'They'll come over in a few months MOST LIKELY''. Because just#stating that something will happen matter of factly takes for granted like.. what if somehting horrible happens and I DONT have a house#in a few months? or what if something bad happens to me. or to the person coming over? I can't ever DEFINITELY say with 100% certainty#that one could ACTUALLY come to my house in a few months. anything could change. So I have to allot for that in my phrasing. hbjjkn#There are a lot of situations where you're expected to just Assume Things but for some reason that bothers me. My brain literally does not#even Assume the most basic things.. like how do *I* know that just because it's someones birthday that they want to be wished a happy#birthday? what if they dont? everyone is different and has different preferences. I should check with them first. or wait until they public#ly announce that theyre accepting birthday wishes. I have to allot for all 5034859069 rare possibilities at any given time and never take#anything for certain. etc. ghjbjhbh.... ANYWAY.. I have been feeling a bit sick lately as usual.. but still slowly making progress on some#things. Moslty I need to edit costume photos. make sculptures. and work on the game. Going back reading some of the old writing from like#2018 and suprisingly I don't have to change that much of it? In fact I like it mostly. so that's good. I would be very interested if I were#playing the game myself. Though that doesnt mean much since my tastes are so niche lol..#Still really want to clear some of my million tumblr drafts as well... alas and aughh and ooughh and so on and so forth. Between all of my#evil appointments other such things...why cant I have one billion dollar to retire into relaxed hermit artist life of no stressors.. bleas
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i have a headache
#i've been stuck scrolling instagram for the past few days#i don't even like being on there#modern ig is so overstimulating everything is either a reel or a reel in disguise or an image post that inexplicably has audio#i kept making myself go on there because i wanted to find a way to make art friends or a community or w/e#and i thought if i had more of a presence and interacted more i'd eventually get people to like. talk to me and comment stuff ig. idk#but ughhhh#i don't think insta is a good platform for that cause it's either pictures with a short caption or the worst media format known to man#like. idk i wanted to find and follow and be friends with and be Cool Artists (don't ask me to define that)#but no artist on instagram is a Cool Artist because there's no goddamn text on there#like if it makes sense i wanna find people who talk About art as well#but not in an art Discourse way#which is another thing. even if instagram had more Talking it would still be shit because the mainstream 'art community' is insufferable#art tiktok is that on steroids#and instagram is is bootleg tiktok#the same five discourse topics jokes memes advice whatever the only difference is now they're circlejerking about ai too#i wanna be Casual and Spontaenous and Mysterious and shit but IG's layout makes me feel like i can't just post whatever#i feel this pressure to give my posts all the same format and add tags and do this and do that and have good Branding or w/e#and it's just ughhh why can't I be a famous enigma (<- doesn't make or share anything)#even on tumblr the pressure is the same#and at the same time i hate looking back on my art accounts (both ig and here) because it just. doesn't align with what i wanna do#like my attempts at categorising and tagging and being consistent#it's just so. yuck#i want to have a Good Brand but i also want to be 'real' but then i look back at my disjointed messy past work and i cringe#i think i need to block my irls from my art accounts bc i feel super embarassed trying to do any typical Get Noticed on Social Media thing#cause it feels embarassing being seen doing shit that's ''influencer-y'' (idk what to call it)#cause it feels out of character to how i actually am in real life#but also why i do want to show my ''real'' character? I'm not cool#and that's another thing I've had these accounts for ages#looking at my past posts makes me fuckign cringe#I want to purge them or start over
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Betty Friedan was a pick me and hated lesbians.
Betty Friedan's position on lesbians is unfortunate but absolutely irrelevant to the point I was trying to make in my post.
The "trend" of "stay-at-home-girlfriend" and "tradwife" influencers on social media (as well as all that "girl math" and "girl dinner" and "explanation for the girlies" bullshit) is a revival of a second wave feminism era problem that requires a revisit of second wave feminism texts.
I, jokingly, suggested that these influencers should be tricked into reading Friedan's "feminine mystique" so they can be exposed to the dangers of the "problem that has no name". I don't think any contemporary feminist literature would speak to them because they chose to live like 1950s housewives, with the dangers of 1950s housewives, and thus should read about 1950s housewives.
#Feminism#Asks#betty friedan#The thing about older feminist texts is that we can just ignore the stuff that is shit#Because we're smart enough to realise that lgbt+ people need to be included in feminism#And that Friedan's work is not like some universal solution to all of feminism#The feminine mystique is a very specific text about a very specific problem of mostly white middle class women#Which was still a very real problem#And a problem we're somehow facing again because of that weird backslash we're seeing on social media#So yes we can apply that specific text to the revival of that specific problem without engaging in her later homophobia
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my desire to be liked by everyone vs my opinionated nature: fight
#social media is the stuff of nightmaaaares#me @ myself: say it with me. can’t win them all. it’s okay#it’s my RSD talking but i honestly feel like im failing at this website. which is ridiculous considering…. well#i did manage to amass a little following since i made this blog last year#and i appreciate it. it’s wondrous to me. i still feel like im failing and not making enough connections and that people here hate me
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Btw sorry for not getting to asks and drawing lately, I've been busy for almost the whole past week. hangs my head low
#clemramble#last week I was stuck on dog watching duty for 3 days which doesnt sound bad#until you realize one of them is like 16 years old and losing control of certain body functions. old age and all you know the drill#and then right after i was done iwas sent to my grandmothers and ive been doing stuff with her#so whenever i am online its like snrrk mimimimi ... i tried to draw yesterday but almost nothing came out right#but rest assured. i will get to work sooner or later.#i usually dont apologize for inactivity since a.) i have a life outside of social media and b.) i put my trust that you all#also understand that and wont start sending pitchforks and fire in my inbox#likewise i try not to publicly talk about my life in greatdetail but what harm could it hurt for you all to know i have an old dog.#ANYWAYS ENOUGHOF THAT#i will get back on that grind soon... even if its just sketches#just have to wait for that rest period to get over . i DESPERATELY need to work on my askblog.#i did not forget about it im just conflicted bc i want to use the new brush but the canvas is too small for it so im trying to find alts#...or else ill have to redraw the entire background . shudders. gets scared
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