#which is a stick for whacking

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

Caliborn: I LIVE IN A LOW INCOME HOuSING ENVIRONMENT. THAT GOES BY THE GOVERNMENT NAME OF “SECTION 8.”

Caliborn: ME AND A GROuP OF MY ALLIES. CONTROL CERTAIN AREAS OF THIS SECTION. IN ORDER TO RuN OuR ILLEGITIMATE BuSINESS.

Caliborn: WE POSSESS uNREGISTERED FIREARMS. STOLEN VEHICLES. MIND-ALTERING INHIBITORS. AND ONLY uSE CASH FOR FINANCIAL PuRCHASES.

Caliborn: IF ANYONE WOuLD LIKE TO SETTLE uNFINISHED ALTERCATIONS. I WILL BE MORE THAN HAPPY. TO RELEASE MY ADDRESS.

Caliborn: I WOuLD LIKE TO WARN YOu. I AM A VERY DANGEROuS PERSON. AND I REGuLARLY DISOBEY THE LAW.

[fezwearingjellybananas]

RULES: Post the last sentence you wrote (fanfic / original / anything) and tag as many people as there are words in the sentence

Tagged by @alittleflashvibe thank you! I am very excited to read your fic from that sentence. I haven't done mountains and mountains of writing for the past few days (having a break after somehow managing to get those other fics done), but I have finally had an idea for the Wally Fic! Still a little bit between what I have and the part I've just written, but I am having Ideas so here's a sentence:

“Time is a gift,” Henry said.

Tagging @goldheartedchaoticdisaster @shrinkthisviolet @angst-is-love-angst-is-life @kitkatt0430 @ftl-faster-than-life @simpledontmeanpeachy if you'd like?

[drrutherford]

❖ Timeline ❖

April 16th 1984 — Born to Natan & Mikaela Weiss, of Israeli and Irish origin, respectively. Both parents are doctors, living in Yeovil (Somerset) UK, and raise their son with warmth and stability in a happy home.

1990 — Parents die in a car crash when he’s 6 years old. Grief-stricken and unable to cope, his aunt abandons him in a London orphanage where he meets wee lil Damon (@damon-rutherford​), who’s only 4. Takes him under his wing, and a few months later they get adopted by Andrew and Cerys Rutherford. 

 1994 — Cerys falls ill and dies, the boys ( aged 10 & 8) are broken-hearted. Lara (@lararutherford​), who’d been adopted before that, is still too baby to remember much of it. Andrew uproots the family (+ Adriana @amaroadriana who’s basically a foster sister at this point + her mother, who continues on as the family’s nanny) to Porto Velho in America. Connie (@constance-rutherford) enters the picture shortly (contentiously so) thereafter, and Yvonne (@yvonne-rutherford) is born. 

 1997/8 — Aged 13/14, discovers the truth about Andrew’s line of work. Fractures his relationship with his father and Johnathan (@johnathan-parsons​), who was something of an uncle figure to him. Partially motivated by this event, partially by his dislike of PV, he sets his sights on Med School in Oxford, to get as far away from his father, and follow in the footsteps of his biological parents before him. 

2002 — Graduates highschool at 18, accepted into Oxford University’s School of Medicine, moves back to England. 

2002-2008 — Med school days, these years give rise to Team Posh, giving rise to his long-standing friendships with people like Spencer @spencerberkeley​, Harrison (☠️), and Cassandra @cassandra-acton​​, among others. Also meets his first steady girlfriend, before moving on to Diana (@diana-sehgal), and then Mila (@milaxkorshunova) during these years no more dates bc fuck that i’m confused.

2009 — Some time after graduating med school, he (aged 25) heads to the US to start his long-ass surgical residency. This is followed by an amicable, mutual decision to split with then-girlfriend, Mila, due to the pressures of being long-distance, and some meddling by her v. Russian father.

2011 — On one of many sporadic visits back to the UK, Damon introduces him to publicly adored British actress Katherine Mayfair, and a whirlwind romance ensues, devotedly followed by the press.

2014 — Marries Katherine (aged 30), partway through residency, prompting a transfer back to England to complete his surgical training in London. Despite indulging a hidden drug habit, Katherine promises to stay clean.

2017 — After three years’ worth of a struggling marriage and multiple lies, the dam finally breaks when he finds out that Katherine’s still using drugs while pregnant with their child. This is the same year as he completes his surgical residency and becomes a fully licensed neurosurgeon/consultant (aged 33).

2018 — As soon as his son is born (June 6), Gideon (aged 34) files for divorce. Katherine punishes him in the worst way possible for this decision, and paints him as a cheating scumbag to the media to cover up her own infidelities and continued drug use. This poisons the public’s opinion against him and a bitter custody battle ensues. Easily the worst year of his life, the results of which have lingered through the ensuing years.

Some time in between idk bear w me ok — Befriends his apartment neighbour, Elene Dadiani. The lines blur between friendship and something more, but before it can flourish she’s gunned down outside the apartment one horrible night. The event scars him and puts him off the prospect of romance for a few more years. Also there are many attacks on his family in between and mob life is pervasive as shit and the Ruthas are constant drama rip, but y’all know this already

2024 (Present day) — Gid is 39 going on 40, and still goin’ thru it. Felix is 5 going on 6, and goin’ thru it somewhat less. He is currently in a bid to launch another appeal against his ex for full custody of their child.

[monty-glasses-roxy]

Anyway. Fun thing while I'm still stuck in brain fog land.

Trans Femme Freddy from a while back. Ya know, Francine Fazbear? Now that I like to give Freddy and Roxy a 'fuck you. FUCK YOU TOO' kind of relationship, there's some new layers to Francine to explore.

My Roxy is trans. She has a fun gender, and she does what she likes. She is not male or female, she's not a man or a woman, she's not a secret third thing, she's just Roxy. That's it. She has problems with the gendered aspects of her body, and if she's able to change that? She's very well supported and is clearly over the moon about it.

She said she liked any pronouns, but still favoured she/her and there was no name change. She didn't want any of that! She's always been Roxy! She just gets to decide what that looks like now! She can be as masc or as femme or as gender neutral as she wants! She will do whatever she wants and still be Roxy! By the time this stuff happens, she's been dealing with this gender stuff for so long, and understandably, kept the majority of her thoughts and feelings about it all to a very close circle of friends. Of which Freddy is not a part of.

Now, if we take Freddy and sail him down the river towards Francine, in my head, I get something that'd be interesting to explore in a fic of sorts.

After Roxy is free to do whatever she wants with her presentation, and makes a few changes to her body she's wanted, it gets Freddy thinking. He's barely seen the tip of the iceberg of her gender related problems, but now that he really thinks about it, the few issues he did see start to make sense. Truth be told, Freddy has always struggled a lot with his own assigned gender, something he's vaguely expressed to Bonnie and Chica, but never said outright. He never let himself wonder what he could be. He never took the time to really consider what he wanted because it would never be possible. There would be no point. All he knows, is that he's not a boy. He's not a man. He's not a dad or a boyfriend either. Those words just don't fit. A lot of things just don't fit, but there's nothing he can do about it.

But Roxy has just shown him something can be done. He's there in the group as she briefly talks about how she feels about it all, saying that she doesn't know exactly how she wants to present, but that she's got ideas for days and she's ready to see what sticks. He's there when she talks about the various attempts to do something like this before (against Fazbear Entertainment's wishes) that have gone South, and even remembers a few of those instances himself. He'd never understood why she did those things and he'd wondered at the time why she clammed up and gone completely quiet when he confronted her about damages, rule breaking or going against the company. Normally, she would have told him straight away why she'd done something. She was always loud and proud but not in the moments she talks about. Now Freddy gets it. For once, Roxy makes sense to him. He gets it.

And he doesn't like it.

He's staring at himself in the mirror. He's worried, he's nervous, and he keeps thinking about how Roxy did it. How Roxy is happier now. How she said she took her time, went slowly with it and had DJ and the Minis he very rarely sees behind her every step of the way. How Roxy has what Freddy wants but not quite.

He tries not to think too hard about it. Convincing himself that it's still not possible. He's Freddy Fazbear! He can't be anything but Freddy Fazbear! That's just how it is! It's not going to change!

But he keeps thinking. The questions keep coming and the answers aren't there. The words 'boy' and 'boyfriend' and 'man' start sticking more. He can see Roxy getting referred to as a boy sometimes, with he/him pronouns, they/them and even some random ones he's never heard of and he's starting to get so fucking jealous and it spikes every time she smiles after someone uses she/her for her. He wants so badly not to be bothered by any of this, but he is and it's starting to hurt when there's someone right there that might have the answers he's looking for... but fucking hellfire does he hate her. He's painfully aware that feeling is mutual.

He can't just go to Roxy. They're not even allowed to be left alone in the same room together after they got into an actual, physical fight a few years back. The tension has dwindled since then, but it's never left. They still fucking hate each other. That will never change, he's sure.

But no one else has the answers. No one else could possibly have the answers. No one else has done it before. He wants to know what he's feeling is okay. He wants to know that there's an option and he needs someone to be there that understands. But he'd rather die than rely on Roxy, and he's sure she'd rather die than help him. He's certain that out of everyone, she'd be the one to turn him away. He's certain she'd use it as her next backhanded compliment, or ammunition in their next sniping match. Why wouldn't she? She uses everything else against him, and he's just as guilty of it, so he won't ask. He won't say a word. He'll watch, he won't be sad, he won't think about it, and he'll occasionally seethe with frustration and envy right beneath the surface.

Until it's just too much.

Freddy was there when some bigotted parent started shouting. That this gender stuff is a game. It's all a money making scheme. It's all nonsense and it's just a phase. They shouldn't be encouraging any of it! Why can't they just be normal about it? It's making kids believe it's okay to throw their lives away because everyone else is doing it! I mean, what's next? Freddina Fazbearella? He says nothing. For the first time in his life, violence feels like the only good response. The thought scares him, and he does nothing.

Roxy steps in. She laughs in their face with all the confidence in the world and says "Lady, gender is a race and I'm winning. Don't be a sore loser now!" and a few minutes of her taking the abuse with a smirk on her face later, they're removed to the sound of applause. Little kids that had barely paid Roxy any attention before were suddenly enamoured. She's not a boy or a girl?? You can just be anything???? Wow!!! That's so cool!!! Suddenly she has a group of little kids, trading dolls and toy trucks and playing a game called Anything where they can be anyone they want. Chica and Sunny are there now, rallying them to play dress up and have fun with who they are and Freddy just watches on in silence. Little boys in dresses are princesses of the castle, little girls are racing trucks with fake moustaches. Two kids swapped names and shirts. They're all encouraged to try everything and find what they want to be and the game is so full of fun and laughter. He leaves when no one is looking. He has a lot to think about. Is it really that easy?

No, he decides. It's not. That's a simplified version for the kids. Roxy didn't teach them about her issues, or walk them through any feelings. She just taught them to be themselves, like she's always done in her own way. Would she do the same for him? He doesn't think so... but that person's words are on loop in his head. He can't just ignore this anymore. What he felt in that moment wasn't who he is, he can't let it go on like this. So he takes the gamble.

He shows up after hours. She's on the roof of her salon playing her keytar. She's not supposed to be up there... A Mini Music Man alerts her that he's there and he remembers she's territorial. She doesn't like anyone walking in after hours unnanounced. Monty's the same. She sets her keytar aside and leaps down. He can already tell she's angry and he wonders for the millionth time today if he's made a mistake. He hears her growling and demanding to know what he's doing on her turf, she barely tolerates him during the day, and he wants to answer 'Nothing. I am sorry to have bothered you.' but he doesn't. For once he can't say a word. He doesn't know where to start. He's frozen and while he wants to back out, he can't move. She gets louder and he notices the Minis have pretty much vanished. Are they scared too...? She gets closer, gets in his face and asks if he's fucked up his ears or something. She jabs at him and he can't keep the impassive mask in place. He expects her to grab him, to drag him out of her territory like she's done a few dozen times before...

Instead, Roxy pauses. She looks him up and down and takes a few steps back with narrowed eyes. She looks around and suddenly looks uneasy. "You're alone." she says. "I am." he answers. She's expecting the worst, he's sure. A death, or something, perhaps. "Why." It's not even a question. It's a command. It kicks something in his head and suddenly five words spill out of him and he turns his head down to glare at the floor and brace himself for whatever her repsonse may be.

"I am not a boy." He'd said. He's not sure if he wants to cry, melt into the floor or just be happy he's finally said it. There's such a long silence. He's never felt afraid to look before.

"You're not...?" She sounds utterly lost and he shakes his head. Why does she sound like that? Does she not know this feeling? He was certain she would! "Okay... so... w-why are you telling me...? Of all people??" she asks. He looks up and she recoils in shock at what must be a mess of emotion on his face, a far cry from the controlled mask he always wears with her. Never before has he felt so exposed and so afraid of what he's doing.

"What do I do?" He feels like he's almost begging. Perhaps he is. He's been ignoring this for so long, he needs an answer. What does he do now?

Roxy's face falls thoughtful. She leaves him waiting for a while, and for once, he's glad she's taking the time to find her words. She sighs and nods to herself. He's left staring in confusion as she turns and walks towards the salon entrance. She looks back at him after he doesn't move and gestures more pointedly for him to follow. And follow he does. Without a word. She takes him into the back, through a door he noticed behind the shelves before, and into the warmly lit tunnel system of play areas he's never really been in before. They sit in a comfy, surprisingly cosy spot and she starts to talk, or more accurately, starts prompting him to talk.

It's awkward. It's difficult. He's never struggled to articulate himself before but he is now. She doesn't just hear him like she always does. She listens. She nods, and offers comparisons so she can clarify what he's saying and it's like she knows and like she gets it. She tells him that nothing will leave this spot that he doesn't want to take with him and while they've never been close and he's never truly taken the time to know her, he knows she'll keep this promise to the bitter end. Like he knows she always does. She answers when he asks about her own experiences, but noticeably keeps it brief to focus on him. A few things suddenly seem obvious to him, while others still make no sense, and she stops him every time he insists he can't be who he feels he truly is. He fumbles a few times, says he shouldn't be telling her this and she just shrugs and tells him this isn't exactly something she thought she'd be doing either, but now that he's here, she wants to do it. He didn't believe her, but he's still here. And so is she, her full attention on him.

He doesn't get an answer to his question. She can't give him that, he's learned. Yet, he leaves Roxy's territory a little lighter than when he went in. He's learned a lot, about himself and Roxy too. He wonders as he walks if maybe Bonnie rubbed off on her just a little bit. Or maybe she's not as bad as he's always believed she was...

And maybe she's right. If gender is a race, then maybe it's about time he got off the starting line.

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

i dont think my mom realises im 100% serious when i say if someone tries to hug me even when ive said no, i will hit them with my cane. what is the point of having a cane if i cant use it as a weapon?

[pencilofawesomeness]

You'll be happy to know your Twisted Wonderland propaganda works. You and you alone got me to try it, and now I am Stuck Here.

My scheme is complete. My job here is done.

Welcome, friend :D

[teetlestansecond]

actually i'm a Bad Jew™ and forgot today is in fact sunday and the first night of hanukkah so this week's chapter won't be posted until tomorrow 😭😭

however!! in the meantime i am asking so nicely for you guys to ask questions about the shattered au thus far!

[theophagie]

Support group for people who want to lose weight not for body image issues or anything but because they want to fit into their brothers' trousers since they can't otherwise get their hands on men's clothes

[navree]

there's a lot of reasons why that titans show wanting to do batfam specific arcs, especially death in the family/under the red hood, flopped so hard each time, but one of the biggest is that they basically brought jason back after, like, a fucking month and it basically negates the entire thing

[camping-with-monsters]

girly convo…. I think they’re taking about birds…

[shrekyaoi]

It's been that 5 business days chief

shhh i‘m replaying it shhhhhhhh i‘m getting to it

[samsspambox]

*shoves face in hands*

so as some of you may know i used to date someone but not anymore bc he was an asshole that thought video games were more important. point being i've been single for like,,, 6 months and i kinda got promoted at my little jobby job a month ago so im in a completely new location and being trained by new people

tell me why when i decide to hunker down and start working on myself properly someone asks for my number

*looks up at universe* PLEASE I NEVER ASK TO BE IN THESE SITUATIONS

[victorluvsalice]

Hi everyone! We're back to the Chill Valicer Save again, where the trio ended up having a very pleasant and very productive Spring Thursday on the farm –

-->Started with everyone hanging out outside by Toothy’s pen, where I "stored" them while doing the house upgrades – now that they were free to wander again, I decided that the best course of action would be to send Smiler into the barn to make another computer chip; let Victor get some leftovers from the fridge; and have Alice (still in werewolf form) lick herself clean before directing her to do some push-ups outside to work on that sweet, sweet Fitness skill. *nods* I thus queued up the actions, and everyone started on their assigned tasks...

And the house immediately started playing spooky organ music, distracting everyone from said tasks. *shakehead* Damn haunted houses! At least I was able to get everyone back on track right away... Anyway, once Alice was done with her push-ups, she had a glass of water to rehydrate while Victor cleaned up his (and her) dishes and evolved some plants in the greenhouse. I then had her grab Shadow’s latest pet poop from the porch and fertilize the newly-grown coconut tree (as I AGAIN reset the damn bugged weedy plants in that one planter, along with the juice fizzer), before sending her to harvest the new patches of prairie grass in the cow pen to get some hay! Because now that I have Horse Ranch, I can use that hay to refill Moory’s feed, nice. :D

-->While that was going on, Smiler finished their computer chip, and headed into the greenhouse to harvest all their herbalism stuff and their plasma fruit – getting them up to Gardening level 8 in the process, w00! Unfortunately, while they were picking either their regular fireleaf or their poison fireleaf (my money's on the latter), they ended up developing a NASTY itch. So I took the opportunity to have them make and try out a bit of Soothing Skin Balm! I mean, when else are you supposed to use it? :p It at least halved the time that it would take for the Tense moodlet to go away, so I count that as a win. *thumbs up*

-->And while Smiler was herbalizing, Victor was potionizing – after all, if he wanted to complete the next milestone of Purveyor Of Potions and finish off his New Year’s resolution, he had to brew both of the new potion recipes he picked up recently! I had him start with the Potion of Good Fortune, and that came out really well – got seven bottles out of the whole cauldron! And since he had a few spare flasks, I figured we could try giving one to the specter flying around the greenhouse and seeing what happened. So Victor headed over and handed over the present –

And the specter liked it! Shock of shocks! XD They delightedly gave Victor a soul scrap back before disappearing – Victor’s got that in his inventory for later, should he ever need it. :) Almost forgotten what it was like to have specters respond POSITIVELY to presents...

[jayrockin]

I finally (got help) slapping Wordpress into shape and Runaway to the Stars is now releasing as a public webcomic! Thank you so much for your support over the years, and sticking with me while I'm slowly chewing my way through this book. I'm very excited to share this story! It'll be updating every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday thanks to the massive Patreon backlog. Patreon will continue to update as I finish pages, which happens on a sporadic non-schedule.

If you experience bugs with the site report them to me. Some things may occasionally break, as coding problems tend to be a very "whack-a-mole" affair; and I'm still getting used to the interface.

[deadsetobsessions]

Sea Cryptic! Danny AU- Pt. 7

[Pt.1] [Pt.2] [Pt.3] [Pt.4] [Pt.5] [Pt.6] [Pt.8] [Pt.9] [Pt.10]

“I’m having a child.”

Danny stared at Batman.

“…Uh, congrats?”

Batman whips out a stack of paper and a pen. “It’s you. Sign here and initial the highlighted spots.”

Danny instinctively, from years of dealing with Vlad, whacked the stack right out of Batman’s hands and into the bay. He doesn’t even feel bad about littering this time because, “Begone, fruitloop!”

Wait, no, that’s not what he meant.

“I mean- I have parents!”

“Not for long.” Batman muttered and then did a double take. “You have parents? How?”

Danny gasped, placing a hand on his chest to clutch his metaphorical pearls. He ignored Batman’s mutters. Everyone knows the vigilante has an adoption problem. At least, everyone who lived in Gotham did, as everyone who didn’t was somehow convinced that he “worked alone” or some bullshit like that. “Are you naturally this insensitive or were you dropped on your head as a baby? Obviously I had to come from somewhere.”

“They’re still… alive?”

“And kicking,” Danny said, inching away from yet another rich weird guy trying to adopt him. “Mostly the kicking part, though.” He said, remembering the sparring sessions. His mom could kick his as six ways to Sunday with nothing but jiu-jitsu and still have time to work in the lab.

“I see.”

“I’m charging you extra for the emotional upheaval. I have trauma regarding rich people trying to adopt me.”

Batman sullenly handed over a thousand.

“Sweet. There’s a group of shades down here asking if you could find their murderer. Apparently the serial killer is still at large.” Danny pointed.

“Of course. Tell me everything.”

The adoption papers disappeared as Batman went into detective mode.

Danny shoved the cash into his glowing chest and breathed a sigh of relief. He needed to make rent this month so it was a windfall running into Batman.

——

“Hey, Tim?”

Tim woke up from his Power Nap. “Huh?”

“Phantom’s complaining that Batman kept trying to adopt him.”

Tim blinked. “Uh.. what does that have to do with me?”

Danny stared at him, a patiently amused smile on his face. “Just in case the rumor about the Wayne’s sugar-daddy-into the Bats was a thing. Other than that, we might have to confront Batman to get him off of Phantom’s back. ”

“You… want to confront Batman.”

“Hey, man, Phantom’s a friend and it’s ride or die.” Danny snickered. It was literally die, with his Phantom side of things. He held two fists up, and wound them, like Popeye right after eating spinach or something. “And if Batman bothers Phantom, we ride at dawn.”

“Batman doesn’t come out unless it’s dark, though? Or for the Justice League.” Tim grinned. He mentally classified Danny under his “to go to” list. That’s where Bart, Bernard, Cassie, Kon, and Garfield were. If he starts shit, he could count on them to have his back and cause even more shit. Danny, wanting to fistfight Bruce over the man making Phantom uncomfortable? He absolutely is making that list.

“Then we ride at, like, dusk. Or uh, like 10PM. I gotta get my beauty sleep.”

“You’ll definitely need it,” Tim inconspicuously texted the group chat, which quickly blew up.

“Shut up,” Danny playfully shoved Tim. “Wait, can Batman even legally adopt? Isn’t being a vigilante illegal? And how can he adopt someone dead?”

Tim dramatically flailed and splayed over Danny’s carpeted living room. “Dunno about his identity,” he lied to Danny, like a liar. “But Gotham has a bunch of laws for the undead/restored to life people so there’s probably enough gray space there.”

Danny spluttered. “You guys have undead friendly laws?”

“Yeah, geht do you think Grundy just chills out? Plus, we have like a minor resurrection event every few years. It usually doesn’t stick but sometimes it does. Bruce pushed for those laws when Jason came back to life, except he doesn’t actually want people to know he’s like, alive.”

“Jason died?” Danny blinked. Well, that would explain the vibes. “Huh. So what’s up with his rank vibes then?”

“Rank vibes?” Tim pressed record on his phone.

Danny nodded. “Yeah, you know how Phantom’s got like a really chill green vibe?” Inwardly, Danny snickered at his pun. Chill. Yeah, he meant that very literally. “Jason’s got kind of a rank green vibe. He’s kind of stinky? Definitely never introduce him to Phantom.” Danny’s senses got worse in his ghost form.

“Jason regularly showers, though?!”

“Not smell! Like, a spiritual smell?”

“You can smell souls?!” Tim sat up. “Bro, you’re a meta?!”

“Uh.” Danny hesitated. “Yeah. I can smell souls. It’s a thing. Everyone from my town can do it.”

“What?!” Tim paused. “Wait, can Phantom smell souls?”

“Yeah. We’re, uh, from the same town.”

“Danny, what the fuck?”

“Hey, don’t look at me like that, you’re the one with a soul-sick brother! Not to mention, you’re kinda stinky too!”

“Hey!”

“Soul-stinky nerd man!”

——

“I stink?!” Jason spluttered out, extremely offended.

“The Lazarus pits. He’s most likely smelling traces of Lazarus pit on you, you imbecile.”

“We need to speak to Phantom. This instant.”

“I dunno, B. Danny sounded like he was gonna break your face if you bothered Phantom anymore.” Dick snickered.

“Yeah,” Tim chimed in, from his seat in front of the Bat-computer. “He was pretty serious.”

“Are we just gonna glaze over the fact that they’re from the same town?!” Stephanie exclaimed, practicing her moves on a training dummy.

“How does that even work? What does that mean? I thought Phantom was an immortal?” Duke asked.

“We also can’t rule out time-travel.” Barbara slammed her baton into a training dummy, twisting her wheelchair in an agile maneuver that left the dummy on the floor.

“No bothering Phantom.” Cass proclaimed.

“That’s quite right. You all have a warm dinner sitting above your cave and should it remain uneaten, I assure you that sherbet Sunday and crêpe Tuesday shall be canceled.” Alfred stepped in. The Bats, threatened, scrambled to ditch their gear and go upstairs.

[earthtooz]

x : TO LOVE, TO CHANGE: *+ﾟ

in which: you tell veritas you love him. he gets upset with you.

warnings: contrary to what the synopsis implies, it's fluff, i promise. 1k words, first time saying ily, slightly cranky reader, no mentions of reader's gender, dr. ratio being so in love he becomes so soppy and lovestruck. confessions.

a/n: there's a phenomenon that happens whenever i write for dr. ratio, and it's that my heart literally lunges out of my chest and begins typing at the keyboard for me. i should get it checked out. anyways, this is to preemptively celebrate his release!!

“Why- why are you mad?” You exclaim, watching the way Veritas crosses his arms and pouts with the petulance of a child. His gaze has strayed away from your eyes, and all you can do is sit in his lap with your arms hanging at your sides, brain tirelessly racking for all the reasons that you could have angered him.

He doesn’t give you any clues, displeasure brewing in his eyes instead.

“Is it because I said ‘I love you’?”

The purple haired scoffs and sticks up his nose, hair bouncing with his actions whilst you jostle slightly on his legs from the quick action. As much as you love his side profile, you’d love it even more if he spoke to you about what is bothering him.

During this moment, the world stills. You think he’s genuinely mad, and Dr. Ratio’s fury-driven state is not something you should take lightly. Really, you’ve seen it multiple times, and though it has never been directed at you, you hope it never will be. Which is why you sit on his lap now, tensely anticipating his response, and for the answer as to what you did wrong. 

“I was meant to say it first,” he grumbles, losing the arrogance that fills his tone whenever he speaks, air filling with sincerity. 

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me. I was meant to be the one to say ‘I love you’ first.”

Your confusion is tangible at this point. Audible, if you will, because it rings like cicada sing. “Are you being serious?”

“Deadly.”

“You- why, then couldn’t you just have said it?” You sputter, slapping his defined deltoid, concern slowly melting into frustration. “Need I remind you that it was me who confessed to you first as well?”

“Yes, and it was positively the best day of my life.” He says that like it’s a simple fact. No sentiment, no heartfelt declaration, just another logical statement straight from a textbook of his life.

They say to be loved is to be changed, but no matter how much you love Veritas, all he knows is how to be an astronomical pain in your ass. Does he know how scared you were for his answer? You thought you did something unforgivable, or that he didn’t love you enough to respond in kind, or worst of all, that he wanted nothing to do with you anymore?

However, he's acting petty because he was not the first one to say those three words? You frankly don’t know why your heart beats for him as strongly as it does. In fact, you want to whack him over the head with his own codex.  

Placing your hands firmly on his shoulders, you shuffle out of your position from his lap, planting your feet onto the ground. “Oh, you are so infuriating! Pretend I never said anything, I’m going back to my office until you-”

Not even two steps away from him and a hand clasps around your wrist to drag you back to where you started: on Dr. Ratio’s lap. His arms come to wrap around you like chains, leaving no room to wrestle him out.

“I never said you could leave. Especially not after telling me you love me,” he grumbles lowly into your collarbone, breath tickling your skin.

“I’m starting to regret it.” 

“Can’t you at least say it again?”

“I don’t want to,” you grumble, arms snaking up to rest around his shoulders. “You don’t deserve it.” 

“Well, that’s a little harsh. Is this how you treat the ones you love?”

“You haven’t even said anything back,” you pinch his skin. “Talk about harsh.”

“Do you remember the first time we met?” he asks with a fond chuckle, not missing the opportunity to leave kisses in a trail along your skin, making his way up your neck. Then, when his eyes meet yours, you almost crumble in embarrassment at the memory he’s injected into your mind. 

You push him away and raise a hand to shield your eyes from him, clearly reliving a haunting memory. “Please don’t remind me.” 

“Y’know, it’s not everyday someone gets to scold me and be right. If you weren’t so beautiful, I wouldn’t have let it slide, but it’s not everyday a gorgeous genius falls into my lap with guts to challenge me.”

“I was… agitated that day, so stop talking about it, please. In fact, for my sake, please just forget that moment. Completely.”

“Forget about it? Completely?” The scholar asks with genuine shock lacing his tone. “I fell in love with you in that very moment, how can you expect me to stop talking about it? You rendered me a fool in love and expect me to not think about the very moment it happened? Sweetheart, it was a pivotal moment of my life!” 

“Not pivotal enough if you can’t even say ‘I love you, too’.”

“On the contrary, I have loved you longer. I yearned for you in wakefulness and in my dreams. I wished for you to look my way, and when you did, I never wanted your eyes to stray from me. How heartbreaking it was when they did.” His hand has snuck under your shirt now to rub circles on your skin. If he detached from you, he fears you’d slip away from him, and the worst thing you can give him is space. “Do you know how it felt chasing after you because you were the only one out of my reach? For three years, the only thing I wanted was to be yours. You made me an idiot.”

Stunned by his confession and the weight of it, you let him continue, sharp tongue softening. The only motivation you offer is a hand coming to cup his cheek, tucking aside his bangs so you can see his expression in its entirety. 

His gold eyes shine when they look back up at you. For the first time, you feel like you’re seeing the parts of him that Veritas hides from everyone else. 

“I love you.” He continues with heart wrenching devotion. “I’ll continue loving you until the streams stop, the rivers freeze, and the oceans dry. With three hundred thousand, eighty-three thousand, five hundred and seventy-one discovered planets in the cosmos, that phenomenon will approximately take-”

You seal his lips with yours in a gentle kiss, cradling his jaw and swallowing his words. Like wax to fire, Veritas sinks into you, completely helpless against your affections. 

But, oh, you love him, and nothing else in the entire universe matters.

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