#only problem these two are facing is escaping the others to have these conversations one on one

[monty-glasses-roxy]

Anyway. Fun thing while I'm still stuck in brain fog land.

Trans Femme Freddy from a while back. Ya know, Francine Fazbear? Now that I like to give Freddy and Roxy a 'fuck you. FUCK YOU TOO' kind of relationship, there's some new layers to Francine to explore.

My Roxy is trans. She has a fun gender, and she does what she likes. She is not male or female, she's not a man or a woman, she's not a secret third thing, she's just Roxy. That's it. She has problems with the gendered aspects of her body, and if she's able to change that? She's very well supported and is clearly over the moon about it.

She said she liked any pronouns, but still favoured she/her and there was no name change. She didn't want any of that! She's always been Roxy! She just gets to decide what that looks like now! She can be as masc or as femme or as gender neutral as she wants! She will do whatever she wants and still be Roxy! By the time this stuff happens, she's been dealing with this gender stuff for so long, and understandably, kept the majority of her thoughts and feelings about it all to a very close circle of friends. Of which Freddy is not a part of.

Now, if we take Freddy and sail him down the river towards Francine, in my head, I get something that'd be interesting to explore in a fic of sorts.

After Roxy is free to do whatever she wants with her presentation, and makes a few changes to her body she's wanted, it gets Freddy thinking. He's barely seen the tip of the iceberg of her gender related problems, but now that he really thinks about it, the few issues he did see start to make sense. Truth be told, Freddy has always struggled a lot with his own assigned gender, something he's vaguely expressed to Bonnie and Chica, but never said outright. He never let himself wonder what he could be. He never took the time to really consider what he wanted because it would never be possible. There would be no point. All he knows, is that he's not a boy. He's not a man. He's not a dad or a boyfriend either. Those words just don't fit. A lot of things just don't fit, but there's nothing he can do about it.

But Roxy has just shown him something can be done. He's there in the group as she briefly talks about how she feels about it all, saying that she doesn't know exactly how she wants to present, but that she's got ideas for days and she's ready to see what sticks. He's there when she talks about the various attempts to do something like this before (against Fazbear Entertainment's wishes) that have gone South, and even remembers a few of those instances himself. He'd never understood why she did those things and he'd wondered at the time why she clammed up and gone completely quiet when he confronted her about damages, rule breaking or going against the company. Normally, she would have told him straight away why she'd done something. She was always loud and proud but not in the moments she talks about. Now Freddy gets it. For once, Roxy makes sense to him. He gets it.

And he doesn't like it.

He's staring at himself in the mirror. He's worried, he's nervous, and he keeps thinking about how Roxy did it. How Roxy is happier now. How she said she took her time, went slowly with it and had DJ and the Minis he very rarely sees behind her every step of the way. How Roxy has what Freddy wants but not quite.

He tries not to think too hard about it. Convincing himself that it's still not possible. He's Freddy Fazbear! He can't be anything but Freddy Fazbear! That's just how it is! It's not going to change!

But he keeps thinking. The questions keep coming and the answers aren't there. The words 'boy' and 'boyfriend' and 'man' start sticking more. He can see Roxy getting referred to as a boy sometimes, with he/him pronouns, they/them and even some random ones he's never heard of and he's starting to get so fucking jealous and it spikes every time she smiles after someone uses she/her for her. He wants so badly not to be bothered by any of this, but he is and it's starting to hurt when there's someone right there that might have the answers he's looking for... but fucking hellfire does he hate her. He's painfully aware that feeling is mutual.

He can't just go to Roxy. They're not even allowed to be left alone in the same room together after they got into an actual, physical fight a few years back. The tension has dwindled since then, but it's never left. They still fucking hate each other. That will never change, he's sure.

But no one else has the answers. No one else could possibly have the answers. No one else has done it before. He wants to know what he's feeling is okay. He wants to know that there's an option and he needs someone to be there that understands. But he'd rather die than rely on Roxy, and he's sure she'd rather die than help him. He's certain that out of everyone, she'd be the one to turn him away. He's certain she'd use it as her next backhanded compliment, or ammunition in their next sniping match. Why wouldn't she? She uses everything else against him, and he's just as guilty of it, so he won't ask. He won't say a word. He'll watch, he won't be sad, he won't think about it, and he'll occasionally seethe with frustration and envy right beneath the surface.

Until it's just too much.

Freddy was there when some bigotted parent started shouting. That this gender stuff is a game. It's all a money making scheme. It's all nonsense and it's just a phase. They shouldn't be encouraging any of it! Why can't they just be normal about it? It's making kids believe it's okay to throw their lives away because everyone else is doing it! I mean, what's next? Freddina Fazbearella? He says nothing. For the first time in his life, violence feels like the only good response. The thought scares him, and he does nothing.

Roxy steps in. She laughs in their face with all the confidence in the world and says "Lady, gender is a race and I'm winning. Don't be a sore loser now!" and a few minutes of her taking the abuse with a smirk on her face later, they're removed to the sound of applause. Little kids that had barely paid Roxy any attention before were suddenly enamoured. She's not a boy or a girl?? You can just be anything???? Wow!!! That's so cool!!! Suddenly she has a group of little kids, trading dolls and toy trucks and playing a game called Anything where they can be anyone they want. Chica and Sunny are there now, rallying them to play dress up and have fun with who they are and Freddy just watches on in silence. Little boys in dresses are princesses of the castle, little girls are racing trucks with fake moustaches. Two kids swapped names and shirts. They're all encouraged to try everything and find what they want to be and the game is so full of fun and laughter. He leaves when no one is looking. He has a lot to think about. Is it really that easy?

No, he decides. It's not. That's a simplified version for the kids. Roxy didn't teach them about her issues, or walk them through any feelings. She just taught them to be themselves, like she's always done in her own way. Would she do the same for him? He doesn't think so... but that person's words are on loop in his head. He can't just ignore this anymore. What he felt in that moment wasn't who he is, he can't let it go on like this. So he takes the gamble.

He shows up after hours. She's on the roof of her salon playing her keytar. She's not supposed to be up there... A Mini Music Man alerts her that he's there and he remembers she's territorial. She doesn't like anyone walking in after hours unnanounced. Monty's the same. She sets her keytar aside and leaps down. He can already tell she's angry and he wonders for the millionth time today if he's made a mistake. He hears her growling and demanding to know what he's doing on her turf, she barely tolerates him during the day, and he wants to answer 'Nothing. I am sorry to have bothered you.' but he doesn't. For once he can't say a word. He doesn't know where to start. He's frozen and while he wants to back out, he can't move. She gets louder and he notices the Minis have pretty much vanished. Are they scared too...? She gets closer, gets in his face and asks if he's fucked up his ears or something. She jabs at him and he can't keep the impassive mask in place. He expects her to grab him, to drag him out of her territory like she's done a few dozen times before...

Instead, Roxy pauses. She looks him up and down and takes a few steps back with narrowed eyes. She looks around and suddenly looks uneasy. "You're alone." she says. "I am." he answers. She's expecting the worst, he's sure. A death, or something, perhaps. "Why." It's not even a question. It's a command. It kicks something in his head and suddenly five words spill out of him and he turns his head down to glare at the floor and brace himself for whatever her repsonse may be.

"I am not a boy." He'd said. He's not sure if he wants to cry, melt into the floor or just be happy he's finally said it. There's such a long silence. He's never felt afraid to look before.

"You're not...?" She sounds utterly lost and he shakes his head. Why does she sound like that? Does she not know this feeling? He was certain she would! "Okay... so... w-why are you telling me...? Of all people??" she asks. He looks up and she recoils in shock at what must be a mess of emotion on his face, a far cry from the controlled mask he always wears with her. Never before has he felt so exposed and so afraid of what he's doing.

"What do I do?" He feels like he's almost begging. Perhaps he is. He's been ignoring this for so long, he needs an answer. What does he do now?

Roxy's face falls thoughtful. She leaves him waiting for a while, and for once, he's glad she's taking the time to find her words. She sighs and nods to herself. He's left staring in confusion as she turns and walks towards the salon entrance. She looks back at him after he doesn't move and gestures more pointedly for him to follow. And follow he does. Without a word. She takes him into the back, through a door he noticed behind the shelves before, and into the warmly lit tunnel system of play areas he's never really been in before. They sit in a comfy, surprisingly cosy spot and she starts to talk, or more accurately, starts prompting him to talk.

It's awkward. It's difficult. He's never struggled to articulate himself before but he is now. She doesn't just hear him like she always does. She listens. She nods, and offers comparisons so she can clarify what he's saying and it's like she knows and like she gets it. She tells him that nothing will leave this spot that he doesn't want to take with him and while they've never been close and he's never truly taken the time to know her, he knows she'll keep this promise to the bitter end. Like he knows she always does. She answers when he asks about her own experiences, but noticeably keeps it brief to focus on him. A few things suddenly seem obvious to him, while others still make no sense, and she stops him every time he insists he can't be who he feels he truly is. He fumbles a few times, says he shouldn't be telling her this and she just shrugs and tells him this isn't exactly something she thought she'd be doing either, but now that he's here, she wants to do it. He didn't believe her, but he's still here. And so is she, her full attention on him.

He doesn't get an answer to his question. She can't give him that, he's learned. Yet, he leaves Roxy's territory a little lighter than when he went in. He's learned a lot, about himself and Roxy too. He wonders as he walks if maybe Bonnie rubbed off on her just a little bit. Or maybe she's not as bad as he's always believed she was...

And maybe she's right. If gender is a race, then maybe it's about time he got off the starting line.

[pyramid-of-starrs]

Attention Seeker

Frat boy Yunho x Fem Reader

Summary: You and Yunho have been in the "talking phase" but when you see him entertaining another girl you want to get a little revenge. When he catches you he gives you all the attention you had been waiting for.

Genre: Smut, angst, pwp

Word count: 4k

Warning: Angst, bratty behavior, y/n is kinda annoying sorry, aggression

Smut Warning: Spit... like alot of spit, unrealistic anal, anal play, vaginal sex, oral sex (F receiving, both holes), fingering (both holes), cum play, this is honestly just filthy as hell, bratty reader, mean dom Yunho, choking, slapping (chest and vagina)

A/N: This is alot lowkey sorry lol, kinda missed some points but I think we hit the mark.

Commission submitted by: @thespiffynerd - "I would like to request a filthy nasty mean dom Yunho idea. Ass eating, breeding, spitting in the mouth, degradation, a little bit of pain like biting, smacking, etc. Maybe Y/N flirting with one of the band members too much too get Yunho’s attention or a co-worker at work trying to always ask Y/N out."

Minors DNI

Smut under the cut

Finally, quiet, the only noises filling the room was the sound of your lips on Jongho's. The painful thought that maybe this wasn't the best idea dawned on you but you had to remind yourself that, yes, you and Yunho were in the "talking phase" and, yes, you were the one that told Yunho you weren’t looking for a relationship right now. And yes, you both agreed to not see other people but it wasn't like you were doing this to hurt his feelings. Yunho was a sweet guy, but he still had his player ways, you couldn't blame him honestly, birds of a feather flock together, his entire friend group was known for running through people, when he invited you too this party he had already been surrounded by a group of women, it's expected from such a popular guy. The issue was the fact that when you tried to get his attention, he decided to ignore you, but maybe you were crazy? So, you called for him again.

"Can't you see I'm talking?" He said as the girl he was talking to giggled, your eye twitched, so you made your way to the more secluded upstairs of the house where you found Jongho, alone in an LED lit gaming room, one conversation led to another and next thing you knew your lips were on his. You could taste a very faint hint of beer on his breath, you hated the taste but loved escaping the feeling of a hurt heart. It's not like you were heart broken or anything, you two had only been talking for a month but he kind of made you feel special, but oh well, mightiest well ignore the feelings now.

Jongho pulled back from the kiss. "Oh shit..." You were confused why he pulled back, you opened your eyes to see his eyes fixated on something ahead of him.

"What's wrong?" You asked as you looked over your shoulder to see a very obviously pissed Yunho standing in the wide door frame. You scoffed and rolled your eyes.

"What do you think you're doing Y/N?" He asked, his jaw clenching with anger.

You turned from Jongho to face him. "What does it look like?" you said in a condescending voice.

"Looks like you're sucking face with one of my closest friends."

"Wow really? You two look so much alike I thought he was you." the sarcasm radiated off of your tone.

"Hilarious." Yunho said, he walked over and grabbed you by your arm, pulling you out the room and down the hall as you squirmed and tried to pull away, your effort was wasted and only made his grip tighter. He pulled you to his room, once inside he flung you on the bed and slammed the door behind him and locked it.

"What the hell is your problem?!" You yelled at him as you sat up on the bed, no answer was given.

"I should be asking you that question." he walked over to you and stood at the end of the bed.

"You know what my fucking problem is don't act like a dumbass now." you started to match his energy.

"Watch your mouth Y/N."

"I don't have to do shit! Why don't you go back to ignoring me for your groupies an leave me alone, you didn't give a fuck about me then, why do you give a fuck now-" Before you could continue to bitch him out his large hand grabbed your face and shoved you into the bed, your head bounced from the force.

"Didn't I just tell you to shut the fuck up Y/N?" His energy shifted, the tension was heavy. You looked up at him as you brought your knees closer to your chest. "Take your shirt and bra off." You stared at him blankly.

"W-why should I?" You said, you wanted to do whatever he said but you wouldn't be you if you didn't act like a brat, Yunho would never admit it, but he loved your bratty ways. The tantrums you would throw when you didn't have your way, how you would purposely do things to piss him off, but the only issue was this time, you took it too far. You knew how much it annoyed him when his friends would flirt with you unknowingly, since they weren't aware that you two were a serious thing. Maybe you did go a bit far by purposely kissing the one person from his friend group that people joked was his twin, but all is fair in love and war, right?

Yunho silently walked over to the side of the bed closest to you, he leaned his large figure over you while placing his hand on the side of your head. He swiftly took his other hand and wrapped his long fingers around your throat while pushing you into the bed. "Either do what the fuck I say, or I'll make you regret it." He clenched his jaw while you noticed the veins popping in his neck. "Do I make myself clear?" his eye contact was severe and all you could do is nod while looking dead into his dark brown eyes.

He released your neck and stood back up waiting for you to follow his directions. You chose not to bullshit anymore and sat up, sitting on your knees directly in front of him on the bed, then removed your shirt to reveal a cute push up bra that made your tits look amazing. You unhooked your bra the as your 2 soft breast plopped out, you sat on the bed on your knees shirtless and looked back at him. "Well... now what?" you said with an attitude.

"Since you like putting on a show, put on a show for me. Play with them." He said while folding his arms, your face got hot thinking about him watching you play with your boobs, but then again you mightiest well have some fun and play along. You lifted both your hands to your chest, gripping both your fleshy mounds from the bottom, massaging the fat between your palms. Your eyes met his, you hoped to get his usual reaction from, he usually would be fighting to stay mad at you then realizing he couldn't resist you and fucking you into the bed. The vibe however was different this time, maybe you went too far, he just stood there with his arms folded watching you squeeze your boobs together while he had a scowl on his face.

"Aww what’s wrong Yuyu? Mad at little ole me?" A teasing smile on your face.

"Spit on them." He ignored your attempt to tease him and made his command, you did as you were told. You tilted your chin down, allowing the spit in your mouth to fall to the front. You pursed your lips and allowed the cold spit to hit one breast then turned your head and let it hit the other. Your hands wasted no time smearing the saliva around your nipples as they got harder. "Again." he demanded; you were a bit confused but again you listened. You spit on your breast once again, this time only a small bit coming out. "Come on you've spit on my dick better than that, how pathetic are you? Let me show you how you need to do it." Yunho gathered all the spit in his mouth and puckered his lips to spit a glob of spit directly on your chest, causing a shameless whimper to fall from your lips. "Go on."

You knew what he wanted, you rubbed the spit around your chest like lotion, coating every inch of you breast in it, some of it sitting on your hard nipple and dropping, causing a string of spit to fall down to your thighs. You closed your eyes to bathe in the feeling on your fingers pinching your nipples and the heat between your thighs pooling, you quickly opened them when a hard smack hit your wet boobs causing an intense stinging pain that made you groan. When you opened your eyes, you were greeted with Yunho once again taking his large hand and smacking your breast again, the pain made your chest throb, but it felt amazing. "Such a messy slut, take your panties off and show me how wet I know you are." You leaned back to sit on your butt, your wet hands reached under your skirt to remove your panties. "Now spread nice and wide for me." You bent your knees and spread your legs for him to see, your sopping wet cunt was on full display for him but you decided to reach down to spread your pussy lips open so he could see your gummy walls. "Mm, finally being good for me huh?"

"You've got me this horny I mightiest well listen so I can at least get fucked." You witfully retorted, his face showed that he wasn't that amused by your smart mouth.

"Rub your little slutty pussy for me." he scanned you up and down.

"Why when you're right here?"

"Because you and your bratty ass mouth haven't earned me yet."

"...fine." You took your two fingers and slid them between your wet cunt. You rubbed a few circles on your clit then slid back down to do the same to your hole, you whimpered while trying to ignore the burning sensation of Yunho's gaze. The speed of your fingers gradually picked up as you rubbed your needy nub, it felt good but masturbating with just your hand feels the same as when you try to tickle yourself. You moaned and whimpered the faster you went but it only made you needier for Yunho, your slick started to run down to your ass as you got more turned on, your mouth felt parched, so stuck in a daze knowing that he was watching you do this. "Y-Yunho please- I need you."

The smirk on his face made you want to knock it off of him. "Oh really? You sure you don't want me to go get Jongho?" He folded his arms as you continued to rub yourself, now using 3 fingers.

"Sh-Shut up! You know I want you..." You managed to groan out.

"Actually, I don't know that, you seem to be doing just fine on your own." He retorted.

"No- please I need you." You felt your yearn for him growing the more you rubbed your wet pussy as your hips rocked against your fingers just trying to chase your need for more.

"Where do you need me?" He asked with that dumb dickhead smirk.

"Here... please... I need you here." You said softly as your patience ran thin.

"Where is here Y/N?"

You whimpered as your clit started to ring, you knew he was just fucking with you at this point. "Down here o-obviously." You said between moans, Yunho was loving watching you fall apart in front of him, but he wanted to mess with you just a bit more and he had the perfect idea.

"Fine." He bit his bottom lip as he continued to carry a devious smirk on his face like he was up to no good. He climbed on to the bed, kneeling in front of your legs. "Down here, right?" He pointed down to your core.

"Yes ha~ hurry up"

"Okay, anywhere specific or-"

"Just fucking do something." You said no longer having patience for him and his bullshit. He gripped the underside of your knees and suddenly pushed them to your chest causing your ass to lift off the bed. "Hey what-"

He pushed your legs back more as your ass lifted more into the air, he was folding you with ease like a piece of paper, you could feel the sting of your muscles being stretched. Your needy wet cunt was right by his face since he was leaned into you. "Down here, right?" He looked into your eyes, and it made your face hot, this position made you feel so exposed and shy, all you could do is nod slowly. He drove his face down, tongue ready to taste your slick, you closed your eyes tight as you anticipated feeling his cold tongue on your hot pussy. Then there was another sensation that made you jolt, and your eyes shoot open, Yunho's tongue was on your hole but not the hole you thought. He was kitten licking your asshole and the feeling sent a chill down your spine. You have never had anyone stimulate your ass, he had never mentioned doing it so where is this coming from? His tongue worked on your second hole, tracing the rim with the tip of his tongue, the mixture of his spit and your slick coated your bottom as it drips down. You wanted to speak but couldn't the only thing falling from your lips were pathetic whimpers while you rolled your hips wishing you could have his tongue on your pussy too. Maybe that's what he was trying to do? Get back at your bratty behavior by avoiding where you really wanted him, but this didn't feel like a punishment. You had never felt this feeling before, it tickled but you also felt it in your pussy, it just made you want more.

"Fuck~ feels 'o good." You muttered, you couldn't conjure a coherent thought it was like you were in a trance. Your eyes rolled back as you firmly planted your head in the pillows under you, Yunho wrapped his pillow soft lips around your hole while his tongue continued to stimulate you before he pulled off with a pop.

"Finally ready to be good for me baby?" He said softly noticing your relaxed and submissive state, you easily folded as you nodded again. "Good." His mouth was quickly back on your asshole as he removed one on his hands from your leg. He used his two long fingers to slowly rub circles on your throbbing clit, it was like water putting out a fire, you couldn't help but moan louder, thank God there was a party going on down stairs or like usual Yunho's housemates would be banging on the door for you two to keep it the hell down. Your head rolled around the pillows as you breathed heavily, your fingers digging into the sheets below you.

"Make me cum Yunho, fuck" you said, then harsh slap on your pussy was felt making you wince. "What the fuck!" your eyes opened and looked directly at him.

"Is that how you ask?" He said removing his mouth from your hole again.

"Are you fucking serious? Just make me cum, God!" Welp the submissive soft girl act didn't last long, the attitude earned you 2 more slaps to your wet cunt before Yunho let you go making you drop back down on the bed with a slight bounce. He started to remove his clothes starting with his shirt then his jeans you sat up frizzled from the edging. “Oh? Finally going to fuck me?” You smirked smugly.

“God, do you shut the fuck?” Yunho said rolling his eyes, he crawled on the bed to hover his large frame over yours. As he pushed closer you laid back. "You have me, the best fucking dick you have and will ever get in your life, and you can't shut your whore mouth. Just sit there like a good pretty little bitch and take it. Got it?" He said looking you into your eyes.

You stared at him for a moment, all you wanted was to make him a little jealous but the look in his eyes was serious. All you could do is nod.

"Good, open your mouth." he said while gripping your chin. You slowly opened your mouth and before you could process what was happening, he spit directly into it, making you wince for a moment. "I don't give you 2 seconds of my attention, and you tongue down my friend. Don't worry though baby, I'll give you all the attention you needed." he smiled. "Swallow and turn around." You swallow as soon as he releases your chin, you turn to then lay on your stomach once he moves from on top of you to kneel on the bed.

You arched your ass into the air to present to him shamelessly. Your cunt was glistening, practically begging to get fucked by him. Yunho removed his boxers finally and got closer to you. He gripped the base of your shaft and rubbed it between your folds. You couldn't take anymore teasing, anymore waiting. "Please... please, I'll be good." you pathetically whimpered out.

"Will you baby?"

"Yes~ please." your hips started to move against his cock, you didn't even notice he had stopped. His tip rubbed against your clit ever so slightly just enough so you could feel some kind of friction.

"Say sorry baby, say sorry and I'll give you everything you need."

"I'm ngh~ I'm sorry baby, please, please fuck me." You began to drool on the pillow your face was on as you quickened your pace. Yunho pulled away and sunk his length into your needy hole. You moaned loudly; you could never really get use to his almost obscene size. The small sting turned to pure bliss, making your eyes roll back. He bottomed into you; your breathing spiked feeling his tip on your ovaries.

"Apology accepted beautiful." He wasted no time and moved his hips back in forth, pumping his dick into you. "So wet and tight, I must not fuck you hard enough. That must be why you’re acting up." His pace quickened. You couldn't form anything coherent as you felt your mind start to blank. "I already feel you squeezing me baby, already about to cum?"

"Fuck, fuck~" Your stomach dropped, your cunt clenched around his dick. His pace moving even faster as he felt your pussy hugging him, you came. Your mind filling with fog, your eyes completely rolled back, and you zoned out for a moment. You finally came back to earth, Yunho was still fucking into you when overstimulation kicked in. "too much, Yunnie it's too much ahh-" Yunho didn't want to make you uncomfortable but he knew you, he knew this was not enough for you. "Want... want more, want more please." Your legs were unstable causing you to fall into a collapsed doggystyle. Your pussy ringed as he pulled out of you.

"Are you sure? You want me to keep going?" Yunho asked as his large hands gripped your ass, and he massaged you with his thumbs.

"Yes... please." you begged.

Yunho separated your cheeks and spit a cold glob of saliva onto your asshole. He rubbed his long finger between your still throbbing pussy to collect your cum. He smeared the spit around the rim of your hole then glided one finger in. Your moans could probably be heard throughout the whole house. The sensation of his fingers in your ass could drive you crazy every time. Your hips wiggled as your pussy still leaked. He watched your reaction to make sure you were comfortable and added another finger. Your hole was tight, but he used his other hand to continue to rub your cheek just to keep you calm but your mind was so fuzzy.  You cried out as he scissored his fingers inside you. Before you could cum, he slowly slid back out.

“Did that feel good baby?”

“Yes mm~” you managed to mumble out. He spat onto his cock and aligned his tip with your asshole. You could feel the pressure of his dick on the rim and your mind could barely comprehend taking his thick dick in your ass, but it made your pussy leak even more.

“Think you could take me here baby? Do you want it?” He said smirking at you.

You looked back at his smug face, your face looking absolutely fucked out, you nodded to him. He wanted to tease a verbal response out of you but even though he would never admit it he was at his limit too. He pushed his length slowly into your tight asshole and you clenched your jaw while whimpering and grabbing the sheets under you. The mix of pleasure and pain was overwhelming, and he could tell it was a lot for you. He leaned his large frame down to kiss you. The kiss started actually pretty warm and wholesome until he continued to push into you. Feeling his cock drive deeper into you made you babble nonsense into his mouth until he finally bottomed out. He lifted himself back up.

“You have to relax a bit baby.”

After a moment you finally adjusted to his size in your unused hole. “Please ah~ please move.” You mumbled out. Not needing to be told twice he started to pump his long dick into you. Somehow you could still feel him in your pussy, and you could no longer think straight. Your mind was completely gone, your eyes rolling with every stroke he took inside you. Yunho's bottom lip fully being bitten by his teeth, biting deeper with every motion. You were so tight and wet around him; he thought your pussy was tight, but this was something completely different. This was both of your first time doing anal and absolutely won’t be your last, Yunho was going to have fun with you later. You started to fall forward as your body was growing limp, unconsciously running from him. He took both his large hands and wrapped them around your hips to keep you in place.

“Don’t run from me baby, take every inch of my dick.” He said in a low voice. He pulled out halfway then slammed back into your repeatedly, you cried out his name along with strings of “fuck” and other whiney words and phrases. You felt your stomach begin to tighten again.

“Yunnie I’m gonna cum- I’m gonna cum FUCK.” You slurred out.

He sped up his pace as his climax was on the rise as well. “Going to cum in your tight little ass, you want that don’t you. You want my cum to leak out of your asshole baby?”

“Please, please fill my ass, please, please ple- “before you could finish begging like a proper whore your pussy clenched around nothing and began to leak on the bed below you. You could feel Yunho pump into you once… twice… three times before his hot cum filled your ass. He pulled out slowly, still leaking as some of his cum got on your leg. He dropped his large body on the side of you and immediately started to kiss you.

“If I ever catch you with any of my housemates or anyone else in general, I’ll kill you both.” He said with his cute but serious puppy face. You were still breathing heavy but couldn’t help but to let out a breathy laugh.

“Well don’t go around flirting with other girls then, plus you were being an ass to me.”

“Oh God Y/n I wasn’t flirting; she was flirting with me, and I was just being nice. But… you’re right… I shouldn’t have been rude about it. I’m sorry.” He said as you turned on your side and he pulled you in closer by your waist.

“Thank you. And by the way being friendly, being flirty, synonyms.” You rolled your eyes.

“Jesus, for someone “Not looking for a relationship” you sure are jealous.”

“Yeah, so what?”

“So, the least you could do is be my girlfriend if your gonna act like that.”

“Hmm… I’ll think about it. First, we have to do the walk of shame to the bathroom so we can shower though.” You said as you slowly got up, wincing a bit at the soreness.

“Dude it’s like- “He checked his apple watch on his wrist. “4am. The party ended like an hour into us fucking. Everyone is either passed out or doing what we were.”

“Oh- well come on still, my ass hurts.” You both got out the bed and Yunho slapped you on the ass to tease you.

[anatay004]

THERE WAS A TANG of venom in your mouth. You could taste it, the bitter crimson that seeped through your teeth as you chewed on the inside of your cheeks. You tried to keep your head from aching, perhaps, if you shut your eyelids for a moment — just for a second, you thought you might actually escape him.

"Ms. (Y/N), how wonderful it is to see you again," Snow spoke from across the desk, his voice was quiet but vehement— it almost made you shiver. "Please, take a seat."

Nauseously, you sat across from him.

The study ensued with a straining silence that made the skin of your arms prick with uneasiness. Snow had bothered to travel across the districts to visit your home; it could only mean one of two things: either you were in trouble or he wanted something from you.

"I won't take much of your time, Ms. (Y/L), as long as we agree to not lie to each other, this will be a short conversation, I can assure you."

I'm definitely in trouble, you thought.

"Of course." You managed to answer.

Up close, you could see the lines of evident age that marred his face. How long, you wondered, until time peels the skin off his bones clean?

"Katniss Everdeen," Snow venomously spat, and you couldn't help, but give him your full attention. "Do you recall the name?"

The new Victor from District 12.

The threat of rebellion.

"I do." You limited yourself to answer.

"Good," Snow breathed out. "You see, she is causing me quite a few problems. None of which are tethered to you, of course, but they eventually will. Unlike you, Ms. (Y/N), she dismisses the cause of the Hunger Games, the mercy that we offer by keeping one of the 24 tributes alive. She's challenging, I’m afraid."

Unlike you.

You wanted to dart him a glare; his words were a backhanded compliment. When you killed your partner in the games — your friend, you involuntarily enlightened a sense of honor in the Capitol. Your disoriented conscious due to the venom of one of the jellyfish in the arena eulogized Snow's message: there are no real allies and no true loyalty between the districts.

This was far from the truth, of course.

You never meant to win the games by killing your ally from the same district. When the dam's collapsed and the waves of water drowned almost everyone in the arena, you'd managed to swim back to the surface. But the lack of oxygen and poison from the jellyfishes had already interfered with your sanity. And when he'd rushed to help you back to your feet, you'd confused him for a Career. It was only a matter of minutes before the cannon boomed.

Your eyes glossed at the memory.

"With that being said, she, alongside Peeta Mellark, will try to seek refugee in their act of love to gain sponsors and win the games again.”

Your eyebrows knitted together.

Again?

"I want you to dissipate that advantage, Ms. (Y/M)." He must have read your expression. "I want you and Finnick Odair to annihilate their strategy by doing exactly the same thing."

You blinked in sudden disbelief.

He wanted you back in the Hunger Games. He wanted you back with Finnick Odair, with the only person he probably knew you cared the most about. You tried to quench the searing pain that was burning inside your chest. The air started to rush out your lungs, but you managed to compose yourself in time as Snow tilted his head to the side to examine you quietly.

"There's nothing between – " You tried to come up with an excuse, with anything that could've eliminated Finnick from this plan, but he raised an eyebrow in silent question and the words froze immediately on the tip of your tongue.

"We agreed to not lie, Ms. (Y/M)."

You pressed your lips together. "Right."

He stifled a faint grin. "You are the Capitol's favorites, the most beloved Victors. Even more than Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark."

You didn't know what to answer. His plan was already arranged, there was nothing you could say that could make him change his mind. If anything, he was merely being considerate by taking the trouble of giving you a heads-up.

"Finnick and I haven't spoken in weeks." You breathed out, which wasn't a lie. After years of breaking up and getting back together, the romance eventually ended when you discovered the sexual arrangements that had happened behind your back for years. When Finnick had decided to finally shut you out his life after he’d explained his backstory and decided you were not good together.

The slight curve of Snow's lips indicated that he knew this already — of course, he did.

"I know," Snow confessed. "but the people from the Capital don't, Ms. (Y/N). Therefore, you have an advantage at hand, you can fool everyone, make the Capital forget about the lovers from District 12, and...you will have my protection."

You looked up then and examined his face very carefully. There wasn't a hint of deception in his expression, he was being honest and that scared you the most. He promised your safety; he promised your victory.

"What about Finnick?" You found yourself asking, without even thinking.

He smiled. "You see, you almost got me fooled, Ms. (Y/LN). Imagine just how easy it would be to fool the Capitol if you could just step forward.”

You swallowed hard.

"But to answer your question, Ms. (Y/L), Mr. Odair will be protected if he succeeds in convincing me. And, who knows, if you achieve to sell your romance act, the Capitol might even advocate for two winners again. Wouldn't that be lovely?"

He was lying.

He had to be.

Hope retaliated in the pit of your stomach. "I thought we had agreed to not lie to each other."

His eyebrows jumped. "So did I."

After the conversation ended, President Snow stepped out of your home without another word as a fugitive car approached your home. Within a few minutes, he swiftly disappeared into the leather backseat and the vehicle drove off.

You tried to keep your head from reeling, but your muscles momentarily numbed as you simply stood outside, inhaling the ocean's breath. You couldn't coherent a single sentence, for a moment, you even struggled to pinpoint whether the conversation with Snow had been real or not.

What would Finnick think?

What would anyone think?

You exhaled sharply, but before you could collect yourself, Finnick's frame stumbled into your line of vision from across the Victor's Village. You faltered on your spot almost immediately, muscles wracked with evident tension — and he must've noticed, because trepidation soon glossed over his green irises.

As if he'd suddenly realized who had visited you.

"(Y/N)!" He began to call.

Instinctively, you began to retrace back your steps inside your house (in hopes to avoid him), but he was faster and twisted the polished handle before the door could even shut close behind you. You jumped in shock, a startled expression donned on your face as he invited himself in. "What happened?"

Your mouth went dry. "I..."

"— Did he hurt you?" His voice went up a few decibels, and you struggled to find the strength to open your mouth. "(Y/L), did he hurt you?"

You managed to shake your head. "No, he..."

Finnick reached for your arm. His muscles were tense, but his touch was gentle and you instinctively leaned in. "He's going to reaped us into the games, he wants us to follow the love act that Katniss and Peeta pulled."

His eyebrows knitted together in thought. "What?" He breathed out, trying to decipher the mixture of emotions that flitted across your face in a matter of seconds. Every sentiment that threatened to register on your face before Snow was finally shattering before Finnick.

"He wants to kill them off," You found yourself repeating, a hint of desperation notched down the timbre of your voice. "He wants us to take their sponsors, but he said he would protect us, Finnick. He promised he would and I – "

A sob strangled your throat, for a split second, you couldn't manage another word. He instinctively wrapped his arms around you and pressed his lips to the side of your head. You immediately indulged in his warmth and your senses immediately heighten at the whiff of his scent. Belatedly, you realized it had been a while since he’d last embraced you. And it wasn't until he was rubbing your back and whispering that everything was going to be okay when you finally noticed that you were trembling.

"It's going to be okay, love." He whispered.

Love.

And then it finally clicked.

What he’d done to you.

You wrenched away from him as though his skin had suddenly torched you. You took several steps back as you tried to muffle the sob that was ripping through your lips. Finnick faltered for a second as he tried to find the right words to remedy the hurt that you felt, but when he noticed the familiar betrayal in your gaze — he pressed his lips into a thin line.

He didn't know what to say anymore.

"I need to get some sleep."

"Sweetheart, wait — "

"Goodnight, Finnick."

And with that, you turned your back to him.

[ickyblickyy]

★彡 EXPLOSIVE HEARTS 彡★

pairing: katsuki bakugou x fem!reader

sypnosis: upon losing feelings for your boyfriend monoma, you start developing a new attraction towards the football team's quarterback. the only problem is, you two have never met. but that's where your bestest friends come in.

five | series m.list | seven

SIX. good idea

NOVEMBER 30TH

9:23 PM

you immediately get accustomed to the loud blare of the music in your ear and the reek of alcohol and sex within the house. your friends, with the exception of shinsou, briefly scrunched their faces up in disgust at the change of atmosphere upon entering the house.

you were used to parties like this by now. monoma would always drag you and shinsou to frat parties back in high school despite you voicing your distaste for them. but eventually, you took a liking to them. you found them to be an escape from most of your problems.

before you and shinsou could make a beeline for the kitchen, midoriya warned you both about the amount of alcohol you planned on consuming that night. you assured him that you two wouldn’t drink too much, which midoriya knew was a lie, but sent you two off nonetheless.

as soon as you made it to the kitchen, you started looking through the alcohol already sat on the counter. you picked up two beers, handing one to shinsou. you sighed before opening the can and leaning against the counter beside shinsou, taking a sip of your drink.

“y’know i used to hate frat parties when neito- i mean monoma always took us to them,” you said, looking out into the crowd of people.

shinsou glanced at you before following your gaze, taking a sip of his drink as well. “yeah, you never wanted to go. i didn’t mind them all that much, though.”

“yeah, ‘cause you liked getting wasted,” you chuckled, poking your best friend’s rib.

shinsou swatted your hand away, playfully rolling his eyes before retorting, “oh, please. you were worse than me.”

from afar, bakugou watched you two conversate with furrowed eyebrows. truth be told, bakugou’s real reason for coming to the party was the idea that you would probably be there, which kirishima brought up. he wanted to talk to you, get to know you. and there you were, except you were talking to shinsou and not him.

kaminari noticed bakugou staring at you and shinsou, a smirk making it’s way onto his face. he walked up to bakugou, throwing his arm around his shoulders and watching you and shinsou as well.

“why don’t you go talk to her, man?” kaminari questioned, causing bakugou to shove the blond’s arm off of him.

“what the fuck are you talking about?” bakugou grumbled, turning away so that he was no longer facing you.

“y’know what i’m talking about,” kaminari deadpanned. “just admit it, you want her so bad.”

bakugou rolled his eyes. how could he want you? he doesn’t even know you. yet he feels so weird when he sees you with shinsou. almost as if he was jealous.

“hah? jealous? as fucking if,” bakugou mumbled to himself, seemingly battling with his thoughts.

“aw, look! she’s getting away,” kaminari said, pointing at you and shinsou walking away. “better go find her before i get to her first.”

“oh, fuck off,” bakugou said as he watched you and shinsou walk out of the back door. bakugou grabbed his unopened can of beer before taking one look at his friends and walking off to look for you.

as soon as he stepped outside, he sighed. he didn’t realize how humid it was in the house until he inhaled the fresh air of the backyard. he scanned the people outside as he opened his drink. there were people conversing, some were basking in the fresh air, and others were smoking.

bakugou started scanning the backyard for you, but he spotted shinsou first. the purple-haired male was talking to a few of the baseball players, you nowhere to be found. he took a sip of his beer before looking around for you again, and soon enough he found you.

you were sitting in a chair while scrolling through your phone and drinking from a red solo cup. as bakugou started to approach you, he saw midoriya suddenly walking up to you. he groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“hey, y/n,” midoriya said, approaching you with a bottle of water in his hand.

“hey, ‘zuku,” you grinned, taking a sip of your new drink.

“how much did you drink?” the green-haired boy asked.

“this is my second drink,” you replied, sloshing it around for emphasis.

midoriya handed you the water bottle in which you accepted it, smiling gratefully at him.

“drink water throughout the night. don’t want you getting too wasted,” midoriya said, taking a seat next to you.

“thanks, izuku,” you chuckled before shinsou approached you both with an eyebrow raised.

“so, none of you noticed bakugou standing there and staring at you creepily?” shinsou said, tilting his head to the side briefly to point the ash-blond out.

you turned to the direction that shinsou tilted his head towards and immediately locked eyes with bakugou. you felt your face heat up as you held eye contact with him before he looked away. you then looked at your cup before downing the rest of your drink and standing up.

“i’m gonna go talk to—“

“he’s leaving,” shinsou interrupted.

“wha—“ you turned to look at bakugou once again only to find him walking back into the house.

you frowned as midoriya stood up to pat your back. “you’ll get ‘em next time.”

“i’m gonna need more alcohol in my system for this,” you said before walking away to enter the house. shinsou and midoriya looked at each other with amused expressions before following behind you.

you walked up to a random table before grabbing a cup and pouring whatever drink you could find in it. you took a large gulp before pausing and downing the rest. midoriya looked at you with a concerned expression on his face before shoving the water bottle you forgot outside in your face.

you grabbed the water bottle and opened it, drinking it feverishly. shinsou tapped you on the shoulder before pointing at bakugou who was leaning against a wall. “he’s right there.” you nodded before finishing the water and leaving the empty bottle on the table.

“wish me luck, guys,” you said, looking at your two friends.

they gave you a thumbs up and you smiled before turning around to walk towards bakugou. as you were approaching him, you noticed he was looking at his feet, seemingly lost in thought. you brushed it off as you reached him, leaning against the wall next to him.

“hey,” you smiled softly.

he turned to look at you, his eyes widening a bit before going back to normal. he definitely wasn’t expecting you to be next to him. he looked forward, taking a sip of his drink.

“hey,” bakugou replied.

“uhhh, thanks for the money. even though you totally didn’t have to give it to me. i don’t want to seem stingy or anything y—“ you started rambling before bakugou cut you off.

“it’s fine, dumbass. i gave it to ya because i wanted to,” bakugou said, glancing at you.

“you sure?” you asked tilting your head to the side.

“mention the money again and i might take that shit back from you,” bakugou said, looking at you with an unamused face.

“noted,” you said, doing a zipping motion against your lips.

it then went silent between you two but you couldn’t tell if it was awkward or comfortable. you didn’t know what to say and you weren’t sure if bakugou wanted you in his presence either.

“let me get your number,” bakugou said, breaking the silence.

you looked at him with a confused expression on your face, trying to register what he just said. he stared back you, slowly starting to doubt his choice of words the longer you didn’t answer.

“sure!” you finally smiled, holding your hand out for his phone. he mentally sighed in relief, pulling his phone out of his pocket.

he handed it to you and you typed your number out, saving your contact as ‘l/n :P’. you wanted to save it as your first name but you knew you two weren’t on that level yet.

as you were handing his phone back to him, kirishima walked up to you both with a nervous look on his face, knowing he was interrupting you two.

kirishima waved at you and you happily waved back before the redhead started talking. “uh, kats.”

“what the fuck happened now?” bakugou grunted, knowing that at least one of his friends did something dumb. it happens everytime they go to a party.

“kaminari got a bit too drunk and he’s crying about a romance movie he watched two years ago,” kirishima said, rubbing the back of his neck. “i think we should start heading back to the dorms.”

“why the hell is that my problem?” bakugou questioned, rolling his eyes.

“bakugou,” you started, the said male quickly turning to look at you. “it’s getting late, go take your poor friend back to his dorm,” you chuckled.

bakugou groaned, dragging his hand down his face before looking towards kirishima then back to you. “fine.”

before the two left, you bid your goodbyes and reminded bakugou to text you. you watched them walk away with a big smile on your face and as soon as they disappeared from your vision, you squealed loudly.

“i knew coming to this party was a good idea,” you sighed happily.

tag list: @chrofeisnightmaregf @spiderlily-w1tch-blog @blamemef0rit @iridescentrays @archer-fb @bakugouswh0r3 @singingcherri6 @parker-webs @polarbvnny @lupinandout @thebestrouge @blubearxy @itgetzweird08 @bakunianadecorazon @poemzcheng @nottherealslimshady @nnnniei3 @themultifandomgirl @123150448 @kara062284-blog @jazzypop--qq @neoclb @hellokittyfeenie @iheartamora @morganadorodo @k1tk4tkatsuki @d34ly @heyits-zedo @iwa-chan-akaashi-san @first-time-fanfic-writer @corvid007 @spooky-cupid @enzstr @centerhabit @xdyledz @aliisinwonderland @kovu-bunnbunn @bakutreats @perrywinklefairy @oneiratxxia10 @vitanicheney666 @itsdragonius @penesauce @sixxze

© ickyblickyy 2024 please do not steal, copy, or repost my work onto other platforms.

[princeoftheeternalbog]

Where op characters like to kiss you :)

I'm not sure I like this one so much but I've been a little busier this week so I hope it's enjoyable anyways.

Established relationship, suggestive in some parts(Law, Kid) so mdni.

Might have some very minor spoilers if you aren't past the timeskip, in Robin's part and it's a brief mention of someone the strawhats team up with. There's also a slight reference to some details about Killer but no specifics.

Luffy

Your entire face! Especially while you're smiling, he just cant help the giddiness that bubbles up inside him when he sees you smiling or laughing...so he has to let it out by giving you lots of little kisses on your face ://). His arms stretch out to wrap around you, bundling you two together while he grins and starts his onslaught, once he's got you there's no escape.

Also when he kisses you on the mouth he always cups your entire face with his hands and pulls you into him, pressing his lips to yours in-between soft giggles.

Zoro

Forehead/temple. It's easy, it's quick, he just swoops in with a little mwah and then he's gone before you can even register it. Especially loves to do it before a fight because he thinks it's good luck. It really can throw him off if he hasnt kissed you at least once that day so usually he tries to get one in every morning when you wake up. Absolutely melts if you kiss him on the forehead back.

Once he gets used to you kissing him then he's constantly asking, but instead of asking normally he just stares at you for a long while before leaning towards you and tapping his forehead very pointedly.

Sanji

Cheek. (Not that kind of cheek...although-)

Anyways he thinks it's a very sweet place to kiss, and he likes it because it can be both chaste and teasing. For example if it's just a quick soft kiss then it'll be closer to the apple of your cheeks, but if he wants to tease you he'll kiss directly next to corner of your mouth or right by your jaw.

Sometimes purposefully teases you in front of others because he knows it looks innocent from an outside perspective so you can't tell him off for flustering you. Though it's easy to turn the tables, just wear a little bit of shiny lipgloss and he won't be able to concentrate at all, this is when you give him a nice chaste cheek kiss of your own and go on your way. He stands still for so long his cigarette ends up burning out.

Usopp

Your hands. It's subtle but intimate enough that he feels comfortable doing it in public. Usually you link pinkies while walking around or sitting together so whenever he has to let go, for whatever reason, he'll swing your joined hands up to kiss your knuckles. The way he does it is so different from how he reacts to affection normally that it makes your knees go wobbly, it's probably about the only thing he does with full casual confidence.

Eventually he notices the effect this has on you and it actually really helps him develop confidence in other areas too. And if you do it back he gives you this lovely warm smile and he's just so so pretty.

Nami

Shoulders. I'm not sure why but i can just imagine her dropping a delicate kiss to your shoulder as she walks past on deck, or her rolling over in the morning and just giving you lots of light little kisses on your decolletage. Especially loves it if she's taller than you, even if only by a few inches. She also loves standing with her arms tossed over your shoulders, torsos as close as possible while she leans on you.

She really loves to kiss you here in public too, she feels like it's not too exposing but definitely can't be mistaken as platonic, she'll have you sat on her lap in a bar or something and after every sip of her drink she just leaves a gentle but sticky kiss.

Robin

Your lips. She's a woman that knows what she wants alright, and she is highkey obsessed with your lips. She thinks they look so soft and inviting and she's constantly fighting off the impulse to kiss you whenever you converse. It was a pretty serious problem for her before you got together. She just thinks they're so pretty and your beautiful voice and smile come from there too.

She also always kisses you at inappropriate times. After the alliance with Law began, she once kissed you while he was explaining a plan and the glare he levelled you both with was unreal.

Law

...stomach. He's obsessed with the shape of your body in general but there's just something about your stomach that makes him want to bite you(lovingly). If you wear a crop top and/or low rise jeans he practically explodes, he just can't help it. Fully spends hours sucking love bites into the skin there. Loves making you stand in front of him while hes sat, hands tight on your hips, leaving a trailer of wet kisses as he gets lower. He only makes you stand because he likes to see your knees tremble.

Now he's very reserved but he will kiss you in public if he can 1. do it stealthily and 2. inconvenience you in someway like making you too flustered to talk.

Kid

BASTARD! Neck. He has no shame and his kisses are always very intense so he will absolutely give you a hickie while you're talking to someone. You've learned to ignore him but you've also learned that makes him worse. The correct route is to give him a hickey in return, his neck is very sensitive so he folds so quickly. Though he will take revenge later so keep that in mind.

Absolutely hates it when he wants to kiss you but can't, like if you're out of his reach or asleep. Will sulk until he gets the chance to kiss you again and then he's all over you, doesn't let you leave his arms until all your exposed skin is covered in his signature lipstick.

You two would so do that one tiktok trend yk the one-

Killer

Now there's minor logistics problems here so I'm going to talk about it in two ways.

At the beginning of your relationship, he absolutely adores it when you kiss his mask. Thinks the sentiment is so cute and the first time it happened he blushed so hard that you could practically see steam coming out of the gaps in his mask.

If you've been together for a really long time and he's comfortable enough to take his mask off then he loves just kissing you anywhere he can reach. He's just obsessed with being able to actually touch you when you're alone. Though the incidents in wano would set him back quite a lot in terms of insecurity, he still finds comfort in hiding away with you in his room, exchanging soft words and softer kisses.

[cressidagrey]

Looked to the Sky - Chapter 14

Summary: 

Eira Archeron was neither a Valkyrie, nor a Seer, nor the High Lady of the Night Court. She was, however, Azriel‘s mate with her own mysterious, untrained powers.

Also known as: Azriel tries to court his mate the human way.

Warnings: 

THIS IS THE LIGHTNING IN A BOTTLE SEQUEL! SO READ THAT FIRST IF YOU WANNA READ THIS ONE OTHERWISE THIS MAKES NO SENSE!

Elain Bashing, Low Self Esteem, I gave Kallias a random younger brother that is decisively not canon, Azriel has issues and a breakdown and without @k-godling this would have never happened.

(super pretty dividers by @tsunami-of-tears)

"We have an... unforeseen problem," Mor said as she burst into the dining room days later, coming too late for dinner, throwing a stack of letters on Rhys' place.

Azriel watched Rhys skim through them, a frown on his High Lord's face as he read through the documents, his eyes narrowing as he did. That, alone, had his irritation and tension rising.

Unforeseen was...not good. Unforeseen problems were almost never good. They were problems, and those didn't usually have nice or easy solutions.

Especially because Azriel didn't know about it

“Rhys?” Feyre asked carefully.

"Kalllias' younger brother Kleon is asking for Eira's hand in marriage," Rhys said drily.

Unforeseen problem indeed.

A wave of pure, unexpected and overpowering possessiveness suddenly washed over Azriel. The shadows around him darkened and writhed with the force of the reaction, and he had to forcibly suppress the noise that wanted to escape his throat as a growl.

It was...unexpected, uncontrollable. The possessive feeling coursed through him like wildfire.

His body ached with the need to get Eira, get her away. He...he wanted, needed, had to have...to keep her away from this...male. This male that wanted his mate.

His mate, his mind roared.

He could feel the shadows coiling around him, darker than usual in his anger and agitation.

Every instinct inside him was roaring, raging, the thought of Eira with that male...that male that wasn't him making him see red.

The very thought of that gods-damned Winter Court male taking his mate away from him …

"What?" Eira blurted out. "We talked about harps for 5 minutes!"

"Wow, that must have been a conversation," Cassian muttered under his breath.

Eira shot a glare at the winged male, but Cassian ignored it, too busy trying to suppress a smirk at the situation.

"Apparently a very engaging conversation,” Mor added, a faint smile on her lips.

"For Kleon, at least, apparently," Feyre added her tone just as drily as her friends had been.

“What does he even want?" Eira asked, her voice just as incredulous as he felt. "We spoke for moments. Minutes at most! And...and he wants to get married because of that?”

Azriel's heart jumped at the sound of the word married. Married. Married to someone that wasn't him.

Rhys sighed. "I am going to say something, you aren't going to like," he warned Eira quietly, waiting until she nodded. "There are multiple reasons. And Kleon was not the only male that was sniffing around you during that wedding. He was just the only one that dared to approach. 

One of the first reasons...it's political in nature. Even if you married Kleon and not a High Lord, that would still forge bonds between two courts."

"Political," she echoed faintly, and even from where he was, Azriel could see the way her eyes darkened faintly.

Of course, it would forge political bonds. One sister married into Day Court, two others into Night…why not the fourth into Winter? 

Eira’s jaw was clenched, her hands balling up into fists in her lap, and he could have sworn even the air around her was tense as if it was reacting to her emotions.

Azriel waited for lightning sparks to appear, but nothing did. 

"It's not the only reason," Rhys added quietly, and his voice was still as painfully neutral as before.

Eira shot him a look, eyes narrowing faintly.

"Secondly...It's breeding potential," Rhys said, grimacing at his own words. "You are one of only 3 cauldron-made females. You have untapped potential. A strong-magical mother nearly always results in a child with a strong magical potential."

Breeding potential.

The words echoed through Azriel's mind and his heart dropped like a stone to his stomach at that moment.

The very thought of Eira having....the very thought of any other male than him even touching her...

It made his heart seize, and his mind scream.

“The third reason..." Rhys continued, his voice still painfully neutral.

Azriel knew what the third reason was, he already knew what it was going to be, but he couldn't bring himself to breathe.

"It's because you're beautiful," Rhys said quietly, and the words came out...more bluntly than he'd probably meant to.

For a moment, Eira said nothing, her eyes dropping to her lap. Something like surprise, or disbelief, or something flashed through her eyes before the hint of a bitter, sarcastic smile appeared on her face.

"I'm average," she said quietly, and her voice was...bitter, slightly defiant.

They could give themselves the fault for that bundle of self-esteem issues. 

Mor snorted faintly. "Not for Kleon, clearly," she said, in a voice that was affectionate. "Apparently he spent 3 days waxing poetically about your virtues to both his brother, The High Lord, but also his sister-in-law, Viviane."

"Poetically" Eira echoed faintly, like she was having a hard time processing the words. "We spoke for minutes," she repeated, her voice incredulous, almost sounding like she was in shock.

"He has apparently been enamoured by you since the moment he saw you," Rhys said, and even with his neutral, level voice, it was impossible to miss the hint of amused disbelief. "He wrote 4 pages on your 'remarkable eyes' and 2 pages on your hair." He held up the pages filled with an elegant sprawling script. 

Eira seemed to be at a loss for words, her words choked in her throat and her eyes wide. The look on her was something between shock and disbelief.

Azriel was torn between wanting to laugh out loud and hissing at the very idea.

Rhys shrugged. "He's clearly very serious about you. He's offering not just an engagement but also a betrothal if you would prefer that before an engagement. It would be a very old-fashioned way to go about it, but also very respectful. You would have all the power to put an end to it if he does anything you don’t like.” 

Betrothal, engagement.

The very words made his heart jump into his throat and his shadows writhe in agitation.

He could sense Mor trying to look at him from the corner of her eye, but he couldn't bring himself to look back. He was too busy forcing the snarling, hissing thing down.

His mate.

The word echoed through his mind, louder and more powerful than before.

The very idea of that male wanting his mate, marrying his mate...

His heart was still lodged in his throat, pounding like a hammer against his ribcage with each beat as he struggled to keep his head clear and...and not just pick her up, throw her over his shoulder and then flee away with her.

But the mere idea of it made a small, bitter, almost twisted part of himself want to roar with the possessiveness that coursed through him.

It wanted to roar and scream in a possessive rage that this gods-damned Winter Court male couldn't have her. She was his. Eira was his mate.

It took every ounce of willpower and control he had to even keep his voice at least somewhat level as he said, "Are you... are you considering it?"

Eira's head snapped up as if she'd been struck, and she looked at him, her eyes locking with his.

There was a stunned look on her face. "I…" she stuttered, choking on the words. She hadn't been expecting the question.

“Kleon is a good male,” he forced out the words that tasted like ash on his tongue. “A courtier, not a warrior. He prefers music and poetry over weapons.” And wouldn’t that make him a perfect fit for Eira? For soft, sweet, gentle Eira who has cried inconsolably about the males she had killed? Who never wanted to be a weapon?

Eira's eyes were still on him, stunned, and he could sense the surprise and disbelief in her.

He could also sense the disbelief from the others, but his focus was completely on her.

What are you doing, Master? the shadows spat out. Did you hit your head?!

She has the right to choose. Even when it wasn’t him. Maybe especially if it wasn’t him.

If she would prefer a male that had taken one look at her and immediately realised the treasure that lay before him���and not a bumbling idiot like him who had spent years hurting her, carving out her heart with his own stupidity.

"Are you...?" Eira's voice was faint, almost stunned, and there was disbelief in her eyes and her tone at the thought of…his words. Her eyes were wide and bewildered as they looked at him. “Are you trying to talk me into marrying him?”

No.

His heart wrenched and his breath caught, and his mind was screaming at him for even for suggesting it.

But…but if she would be happier if she would have preferred someone different than him…he would have.

He should want her to be happy more than he wanted her, shouldn’t he?

“He’s a good male,” he repeated, his voice hoarse. “You should have a choice.”

“A choice between my mate and a man I had one conversation about?” Eira snapped. “What is wrong with you?!” She demanded. “You are courting me and you think I would entertain the attention of another man?!”

She was furious.

It was in the way her voice sounded, and how she looked at him, in the way her expression was almost spitting fire.

It took a moment for his mind to wrap around her words before they suddenly hit him in full force and he felt his heart jump in his chest.

“You...you’re choosing?” he said quietly, and for a moment his heart was lodged in his throat. “You're choosing me?”

“I chose you the moment I accepted your intent to court me,” Eira snapped. He had never seen her angry like that before. Seemingly seething. “You know how insulting it is that you think I would do that?”

The realization, mixed with the anger in her voice and the insult on her face...it made his breath catch and his heart jumps in his throat.

There was a painful hope in his heart, as the realization hit him.

She…she wanted him.

Even after all his bumbling stupidity and the years of making her cry...she wanted him.

“Yeah, it is,” Nesta snapped. “You pretty much just called my sister a loose woman with questionable morals!”

Azriel’s head snapped over to the oldest Archeron sister, but Nesta held his gaze for a moment before she looked at Eira with a fierce, fiercely protective look on her face.

“I am sorry. I didn’t mean it like that,” he choked out.

“No? Then how did you mean it?” Eira asked him, unwilling to back down. “You think I would choose a male I had one conversation with over my mate? Why?”

"You could have a male that took one look at you and immediately saw the treasure that you are. You could have a High Lord's only brother, who likes poetry and music and who has not bathed his hands in the blood of thousands," he continued weakly. "A male that..."

As the words came tumbling out he could feel the disbelief and fury on her. It was there in her voice when she cut him off with a loud, firm:

"I do not want him."

She took a deep breath, her hands balled into fists, her eyes stormy and glittering with the anger and hurt inside of her.

"I want you." He stared at her.  “Yes,” she said, her voice quiet now, but just as pained as her eyes. “I could have a male like that. And yet I choose you.”

He was silent, staring at her wordlessly; her words echoing through his mind, his heart hammering in his chest.

She wanted him.

She wanted him. Despite…despite all of his stupidities and all the hurt he’d caused her. Despite how...how badly he’d hurt her; how badly he knew he’d hurt her in the past. How many times he’d made her cry because of his stupidity…she stillwanted him.

He was staring at her, stunned into silence and unable to say anything, his emotions running wild in his mind and his heart.

There was a desperate, painful hope in his mind…but there was also an uncertain, hesitant, wary part of himself that couldn’t bring itself to believe it. That part of him that couldn’t believe that she would want him.

Eira’s eyes were still on his, wide and staring at him, and suddenly she looked...uncertain. Unsure.

A hint of doubt flashed across her face, and her voice...her voice was just as uncertain as her eyes when she spoke again.

“That’s…that’s still what you want, right?“

And the mere idea that she even needed to ask that had him snapping out of his stunned and speechless silence.

“Yes,” he said, and his own voice sounded strangled and ragged as he did. “Gods, yes.”

Yes, he...he wasn't even sure what he was doing as he slipped from his chair...as he ended on his knees in front of Eira...pressing his face into the soft pillow of her skirts, breathing in the scent of snowdrops and almonds and Eira...his mate.

His. His. His.

She wanted him. For some cauldron-forsaken reason, she was willing to give him another chance.

The scent of her...it filled his nose, the familiar, comforting scent of a crisp winter night, snowdrops and almonds, and he pressed his head against the soft skirt of her dress.

He was on his knees, burying his face against her, his hands grabbing at the fabric of her dress as if he didn’t want to let her go.

Eira gave a gasp of surprise at his suddenly dropping to his knees in front of her, a small, startled noise as the unexpected move had her jolting against the back of her chair. He couldn’t fight the desperate growl from his mouth.

Mate. Mine. My mate. My mate.

He…he didn’t deserve her. Didn’t deserve to have her in his life. Didn’t deserve to have her forgive him for the all ways he’d hurt her in the past.

He didn’t deserve her, he knew he didn’t.

He didn’t deserve her after what he had done; after everything he’d put her through by not realising...by his stupidity.

But gods, he wanted her. Wanted her more than he’d ever wanted anything else. Wanted her more than he’d ever wanted to breathe, or live.

He wanted her, every part of her. Every part of her body and mind and soul. He wanted every part of her in every way he could have her.

And she wanted him. She chose him.

Just like now her hand lifted and small fingers started running through his hair...as she touched him, with love and gentleness.

"What is the polite way to refuse?" Eira asked, her voice even. "I am not interested."

The sound of her voice, the feel of her fingers in his hair, her scent all around him…it all felt like a dream, like something that wasn’t real. Something he didn’t deserve.

He just…he just closed his eyes, letting the feel and sound of her envelope him, trying to commit it to memory.

"Well, we'll just tell him that," Mor said drily.

"Politely, of course," Feyre added.

Azriel could feel that the two females were looking at him, could feel the eyes of the others as well; as he knelt before Eira, his face pressed against her lap, his hand gripping her knee in a desperate, possessive grip.

The thought of someone else with her…with his mate...

His grip on her knee tightened, and his face stayed buried against her lap and her skirts, breathing in her scent, committing it to memory and letting her fingers run through his hair.

He felt her shift, and a moment later, her hand came to his face.

He didn’t move at her touch, keeping his face buried against her and refusing to come up, just breathing in her scent and letting her fingers stroke his face.

Her touches were so soft and gentle, that he could hardly believe it. After...after everything he’d done to her, all the ways he’d…he’d hurt her; he could hardly believe she was willing to touch him like this.

Eira’s fingers continued to stroke his face, tracing his cheekbone and his jaw and down to his neck, just…gently touching him and caressing him.

His heart clenched and his breath stuttered in his chest, his body going almost completely still as he just…he just let her touch him. Her touches left a trail of fire on his skin wherever her hands travelled, setting his entire nervous system ablaze and almost overwhelming him.

“Tell him I have a mate,” Eira said evenly, and he nearly shuddered at the claim in her voice.

Azriel had to fight the desperate, possessive sound that wanted to slip out of his mouth; the snarl of pure, desperate need, and pride, and desire at the claim.

His mate, she was his mate.

He still didn’t move, still didn’t look up, his face hidden against her skirts, but he was listening. Intently.

They were all silent for a moment, and he could practically hear the others look at each other.

Mor was the first to speak, and her voice was still amused, but with an undertone of something other.

“That…might not be enough,” she said, her voice quiet, cautious.

He could feel Eira’s eyes narrowing.

“And why not?” she snapped out, her voice a bit harsh. Her hand in his hair curled, and her fingers dug into his hair.

He didn’t even try to contain the quiet, strangled sound that tore itself from his mouth at the feel of the sudden grip on his hair and the possessive, almost territorial gesture.

“A male like Kleon might not see that as enough of a reason to back down,” Mor said carefully, and Azriel could practically hear her choosing her words.

He tensed instinctively, and the possessive grip his shadows had around his body suddenly grew tighter. "At least not until there is a ring on your finger."

There was a moment of stunned silence at Mor’s words, and Eira’s breath caught, and her hands stilled against his head.

“A…a ring…?” Her voice sounded dumbfounded and stunned.

Azriel did not like the quiet sound of Mor’s smirk as she said: “Traditionally, the sight of a ring on a woman’s finger is enough for even the most persistent suitor to accept her rejection.”

It took all his willpower and discipline for Azriel to not let the snarling sound that wanted to escape from his mouth.

He could feel the others’ eyes on Eira, all of them on her, and for a long moment he could hear nothing but her breath, harsh and uneven and fast, and his own.

Then he could hear her voice, quiet and rough and unsteady when she spoke.

“I…” He flinched at the sound of her swallowing. “I think Azriel and I need to have a talk."

He felt her push at his head, and he slowly relented, lifting his head away from her skirts.

He looked at her…and the sight of her wide, blue eyes staring back at him with such an open mixture of uncertainty, doubt, fear and hope made his heart clench.

"Let's go upstairs," she said softly.

Azriel was unable to say anything, he just nodded wordlessly and allowed her to push him back, silently taking her hand when she offered it and following her as she led him out of the dining room and up the staircase.

He hadn’t expected that, but then again he hadn’t exactly been in a place to expect anything in that moment, his mind too overwhelmed and terrified of screwing things up even more.

It was Eira who let go of his hand, crossing the room to perch on the edge of her bed, before she looked up at him silently, her hands clasped in her lap.

He didn’t move, feeling almost frozen in place as he saw her sitting there, perched on her bed and looking up at him with those wide, blue eyes.

His throat was dry and tight, and his heart was hammering in his chest, his mind racing through hundreds of possible things he could say and a thousand things he wanted to say.

So he did the only thing he could do...again.

He moved.

He crossed the room in quick, silent strides, closing the distance between them and kneeling before her.

***

Eira sucked in a sharp breath as Azriel knelt before her again, watching as a mix of emotions flickered over his face.

He had his eyes on her lap as she stared down at him, and the expression had her breath hitching, her heart clenching as he knelt before her.

His hands were clenched into fists on his thighs, his breathing ragged and laboured.

Before, he had buried his face into her lap. Without a word. Silent.

Now, he didn’t touch her, just...just knelt there, his body tense and muscles flexed to the point of shaking and his eyes trained on her lap.

His wings were tightly tucked into his back, not their usual relaxed posture,  but tucked in so tightly, like he expected her to hurt him.  

He was so tense, it looked almost painful. She could practically feel the anxiousness and the worry and all the things he was hiding rolling off him in waves.

She reached out before she could help herself, once again carding her finger through his hair, through the dark unruly waves.

The sound that left his mouth was somewhere between a sigh and a strangled whimper, and his body shuddered against her. His eyes fluttered, and he leaned almost unthinkingly into her touch.

Her mind was still a fucking mess, reeling. This wasn't exactly how she had ever expected to receive a proposal. Actually, it was the last way how she ever wanted it to happen.

She hadn’t even thought of it as a possibility. 

"Talk to me," she whispered quietly. "Azriel."

His breath shuddered as she said his name, and she heard the strangled noise it drew from his throat, his shoulders tensing and his head dropping further, his eyes hiding from her as he leaned his forehead against the side of her knee.

Just the sight of him now, the feel of his hair beneath her fingers and the feel of his body shaking against her...it made her want to pull him closer, wrap her entire body around his.

She still had her hands in his hair, stroking and petting his head, and she wasn’t sure if she was doing it more to soothe him, or more to soothe herself.

"I am sorry," she apologised quietly when it was clear that he wasn't going to say anything. "I only danced with him to be polite."

His entire body went rigid at that, and the noise he made was strangled and desperate, and his shoulders trembled, shaking with whatever he was holding back.

“Don’t…don’t apologise,” he forced out, his voice rough and ragged, and his throat so thick she could almost see his jaw clenching. “You…you don’t need to apologise for…for anything.”

Her hands in his hair stilled instinctively; her breath caught, and her own body went still and tense.

The words were a strangled confession and a tortured desperate plea, and it made her heart ache.

Her fingers started moving again, resuming the soothing, gentle motions of her movements, and she could feel the way her touch, the way her gentleness affected him as the tension in his body lessened and he almost leaned into her.

"You deserve better than me," Azriel whispered.

Her breath hitched, and her eyes stung, and a mix of pain and anger and guilt surged through her.

“Don’t say that,” It was a firm, almost choked-out response, her fingers clenching in his hair.

“Don’t…” Her voice caught, and her chest felt too tight. “Don’t you dare say that.”

"You…you deserve so much better," he said, and she could hear the strangled, pained tone in his voice. “Anyone is better than me, and you…you don’t…don’t deserve to be stuck with me, I…I don’t deserve to be near you, to call myself your mate, let alone anything else…”

Her throat felt too tight, and there was an aching, desperate pain in her chest at his words, her heart clenching as she heard the self-deprecation, the guilt, the hate in his voice when he spoke.

She couldn’t let him think that, couldn’t. The thought that he hated himself that much, that he thought so little of himself…it was unbearable.

"Listen to me," Eira said quietly. "I chose you. I will always choose you. You are my mate. From the very first moment, I saw you, when I was still human...I knew that I was yours."

His entire body shuddered at her words, shuddering so hard that she could feel it, could feel the way his body quaked against her. The sound he made was a strangled, guttural noise, and it was something between a strangled whimper and a choked-back sob.

She could practically feel his body aching, strained. He was holding himself so taut, so tense as if he was trying to hold himself back. Her hands in his hair didn’t stop, trying to soothe him, trying to coax him into relaxing, trying to get him to respond to her.

“You…you’re beautiful,” she whispered, and his chest heaved, a ragged, shaky breath tearing from his throat at her words. “You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen…and the kindest, strongest person I know. And yes, sometimes you are an idiot, but who isn’t? And I…” She took a deep breath, her fingers clenching in his hair. “I love you.”

He broke at that, his entire body trembling and shuddering as the first, strangled sob tore free from his throat, and it was a painful, broken, guttural sound that felt like it’d been torn from his very soul.

His entire body slumped against her, leaning his weight against her, as his shoulders shook and his hands twisted in her skirts.

Her heart ached at hearing his sob, and the sound of his pained tears filled her mind. Her hands in his hair clenched, her fingers still running through his hair as she felt him shudder and shake against her, his body trembling and his arms wrapping around her waist as he leaned his entire body against her.

It was instinct that had her wrapping her own arms around him, her one hand going to his back and pulling him against her as he fell apart.

"I love you," she breathed, as she pressed kiss after kiss against his hair. "I love you. And I want to marry you. I want to marry you. And I want these fat rosy-cheeked babies with you, that you promised me. That have my hair and your wings. I want you. I don't care that you think that you aren't good enough for me. I think you are enough. And that's all that matters."

His whole body shuddered at her words. He was still crying, still shaking, as he pressed his face against her, breathing in the scent of her.

“You…you want…you want that? With me?”

“Of course I do,” she breathed, as she kept stroking his hair, her hands never stopping their gentle, soothing stroking of his head. “You’re my mate, and I’m yours, and I love you…and I want everything with you; a family, and a home, and just you. Just you for the rest of our lives.”

“You…you want me?” His voice was ragged and raw, hoarse from his tears and the crying. “You…you don’t…don’t want someone…better?”

“No,” she said firmly, as she continued to stroke his hair. “You’re my mate. You’re the person I want, the one I choose. And there isn’t anyone better, because it’s you I’m in love with. And it’s only  you.”

Her words were met with a ragged, strangled-sounding noise from him, and she could feel the way his body shuddered again, his shoulders shaking as he trembled against her.

He didn’t speak again, and she heard him inhale, his arms holding her tighter against him; the low, ragged, deep breaths he was taking trying to calm himself, trying to gather himself.

"I love you," he whispered.

She felt her chest clench, her heart aching, with how raw and broken his voice sounded, and she could hear the anguish and the pain and the disbelief in it.

And her heart soared, as she heard the words she had spent years yearning after. 

“I love you,” she repeated, her voice just as ragged and raw as his. “I love you, and I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”

His arms clenched around her, his head pressing against her stomach and his body shuddering against her yet again, and it sounded like he was struggling to breathe as he gasped in another deep, shaky breath.

“I…I love you,” he said, again, and his voice was shaky and broken again, like he couldn’t quite believe what she’d said. “And…and I don’t…don’t deserve you, and I…I want…want you to stay. I…I need you to stay.”

Her hands never stopped petting his hair, never stopped stroking and petting him comfortingly, as she heard the desperation and desperation and hope in his voice.

“I’m here,” she said softly, her words gentle and firm at the same time. “And I’m not going anywhere. I’m staying right here. I promise."

She wasn’t sure how long they sat there, like that, with him on the floor and leaning against her, her hands in his hair and his head against her stomach while his arms held onto her as if he was scared she’d try to leave.

But the sobs had stopped, and the tears had dried on his face, and his breathing had slowed to a much calmer but still ragged and unsteady pace, his body still trembling, but at least not shaking anymore.

He lifted his head from her lap and looked at her with wonder in his gaze. He reached out...hesitantly and she slipped her hand into his. "Marry me," he whispered.

This time it was her breath that hitched, a shuddering, shuddering sound, and her chest felt so tight it was hard to breathe.

It was an instinct to say yes, to respond instantly to his quiet, quiet words. But her mouth wouldn’t move, her brain not working enough to formulate a response.

She wasn’t sure if it was out of disbelief, or shock, or joy, but the words she couldn’t speak were obvious in her eyes as she stared into his.

He was staring at her, his eyes locked on hers, searching her face and her expression intently, as if he was expecting her to say something, or do something, his entire body taut and tense again as he watched her.

She couldn’t speak, and she couldn’t move except for the hand he held, the one that tightened around his, the one that held onto him tightly. As if to keep him there, to keep him from thinking she was going to reject him.

His entire body was trembling again, shaking in anticipation, in hope, in desperation and need, as he searched her.

All she wanted to do was to pull him closer to her, pull him into her.

“Yes,” she said firmly.

There was a strangled noise from him, as his expression broke, his eyes going soft and intense.

“Yes?” he breathed, and her chest ached at how hopeful, desperate, and broken he sounded. “You…you said yes?”

He was staring at her, his eyes wild with disbelief and hope and a desperate need that was almost like a physical ache that she could see.

“I said yes,” she repeated, her words as firm as they’d been the first time. “Yes. I’ll marry you.”

A shudder went through his body at her words, a strangled noise tearing from his throat, and he practically lunged towards her, his arms wrapping around her and hauling her against him.

It was desperate, almost desperate, the way his entire body clenched around hers. It wasn’t a hug, nor was it an embrace…it was a claim.

His arms were like bands of steel around her, holding her tight against him, his body pressing against hers so much she was practically on his lap, while one hand tangled in her hair and the other gripped her waist.

He was holding her like she was the most precious thing in the world, and she felt his breath shudder against her neck, felt the way his entire body trembled as he practically shook around her.

It was as if every part of him was trying to press himself against her; like he couldn’t bear even an inch of space between them.

His hands were clenched in her hair and on her waist, his head pressed against her throat, and she could practically feel his need to get closer, closer than physically possible.

She was practically sitting in his lap, pressed against him so hard that her body ached. The feeling of his body, of his hands on her, was almost overwhelming.

But it felt right, needed, like it was something they’d been missing before; an absence filled.

He hadn’t said a word, but she could practically hear him in her mind, the desperate, shattered words that echoed in her mind in a way it hadn’t done before.

Mine. He hadn’t said it, but it was so obvious in the desperate, possessive way he held her, in the way his hands clenched in her hair and on her body, and the way he’d practically crushed her against him. You’re mine.

“Yours,” she said softly, whispering the words against his skin. “I’m yours, always.”

"You deserved better," he whispered. "I was supposed to find you a ring...and a house."

She could feel the way he was clutching onto her, as if he couldn’t bear to let go, even now that he knew she wasn’t going to reject him.

“I don’t care,” she said firmly, as she clutched his shirt and held his face against her neck. “None of that matters. I just want you. It could have been a paper ring for all I care.”

He choked out a laugh, "You haven't even gotten that," he told her drily.

She smiled at his words, but her expression was still so soft.

“You’re all I’ve ever wanted,” she said simply, as she threaded her fingers through his hair; gently, soothingly, still stroking the dark strands. “Everything else is just…” she shook her head slightly. “Everything else can wait. All I want is you .”

He kissed her.

Her eyes fluttered shut instinctively as his lips found hers, and a shudder went through her at the feeling of his lips against hers.

She pushed her fingers tighter through his hair, the other clenching in his shirt as she kissed him back with a sort of desperation that mirrored his.

His lips moved against hers, the hand burying into her hair holding her in place. 

She gasped and that was all the invitation he needed as his tongue slipped into her mouth. 

She didn’t…she had no idea what…why…but she couldn’t think anyway. She could just cling to him tighter, heat pooling low in her belly. 

She felt like she was losing her mind, the feeling of him in her mouth, his tongue tangling with hers and mapping her mouth, made her feel like her entire world had slowed.

Her body ached against his, her hands clenching in his hair and his shirt. She hadn’t realized she’d been making a noise, a low, breathless sound at his relentless kisses.

He was practically cradling her against him, his arms wrapping around her body in a way that made her feel safe against him. She didn’t feel like she had the control over herself to even move, as if her body was his for the taking.

She’d honestly never felt more safe, more wanted, than she did right then.

His mouth was insistent against hers, insistent and demanding, and the way he was holding her made her feel as if he was trying to consume her. It made it hard to breathe, the way he was kissing her…like it wasn’t a want, but a need, and she was the only thing that could satisfy it.

And then he pulled back, a kiss pressed against her lips once again. "You need a ring," he whispered against her skin.

She was still trembling slightly, her eyes fluttering open and her breath coming out as a shuddering sort of gasp. Her head was still spinning, the after-effects of his kiss still making it hard to breathe.

Her eyes were still hazy, and her mind still struggling to process what he’d said. “…a ring…?” she repeated, and her voice was soft and breathless…and her words sounded almost dreamy.

A Ring, the shadows whispered. After Master already ruined our plans...

She had to bite her lip, a soft laugh bubbling to her mouth at the sound of the shadows’ voices, the sound almost giddy at the prospect of an impending ring.

“You mean...” she said slowly, her voice still slightly breathless and a smile on her face. “You were planning on getting me a ring…?

"And a house. I was supposed to show you that I could provide for you and our future children," Azriel said softly, cupping her cheek. "That's how humans do it, is it not?"

She shook her head, a tender smile on her lips, as she stared up at him. “You don’t need to give me anything, Azriel. I just need you. You’re all I’ve ever wanted.”

[berriwritertingz]

follow me | e. landry

content: filthy smut, oral (fem receiving), kinda obsessive and dark ethan

pairing: ethan landry x afab!reader

summary: after everyone fell asleep, you and ethan ventured off to have your own fun

note: i literally wrote one paragraph of this and then dropped it but my ethan obsession is back after months

it was chad’s idea to have a big sleepover after finals. everyone’s worries and stress draining away with some drinking, music, and movies. the night started out strong with everyone in pajamas playing drinking games and having awful dance battles. but as the third movie dragged on, the talking stopped with the movie plot slowly growing uninteresting. the absence of conversation hinted at the reason, everyone had fell asleep. bodies scattered across the living room with chad's thunderous snores filling it. but as you looked over ethan's eyes met yours, wide awake and fixed upon you.

“i guess we’re the only ones awake” you smiled softly, standing up off the loveseat you two were sharing.

you two weren’t close at all. only speaking to each other when the group hung out and shared glances in shared classes. but you couldn’t lie when you said you had a small crush on ethan. his tall frame towering over you whenever he asked for a favor. soft whiny voice that made your face get warm whenever you heard it. pretty brown eyes that were always focused on yours when you talked. the same ones that were now so innocently trained on you.

“uh…yeah”

he was distracted to say the least. your nipples straining against your white tank top and tiny pink shorts riding up your squishy thighs. you stretched spreading your arms wide causing the shirt to hike up your soft belly. ethan couldn’t help but shift in his seat at the sight, a boner growing in his loose sweatpants. imagining what it was like to bury his head between them. he tried to look away but frankly he didn’t want to. he loved how squishy and smooth your thighs looked in the dim room light.

“do you want to come to my room? i have the new spider-man.” you suggest. hands placed on your hip and thumb pointing to your bedroom in the shared apartment. ethan didn’t hesitate, nodding eagerly and stood up slightly stumbling over the bodies littered around the room, following closely behind you.

-

ethan’s focus was completely on the game eyebrow’s furrowed and tongue slipping out the corner of his mouth. you stared at him in awe practically squealing at how cute he looked. both of you practically cuddling on your bed watching the tv screen as he expertly clicked buttons on the controller. you were sitting on the bed beside him leg perched over his while you watched him play the game. everyone knew you were a touchy person so it wasn’t out of the ordinary for you to casually have limbs wrapped around your friends. plus even if it was a problem ethan didn’t say anything about it.

“can you help me?” he asked peering over at you, noticing you staring. his cheeks a blaring red.

“yes, of course!” he had a problem with one of the missions not understanding the combos. you placed your hand on top of his showing him exactly what the controls were. ethan couldn’t focus on a word you were saying as your tits were pressed tightly on his arm. his mind wondered to how cushiony and moldable they would be in his hands. imagining leaving pretty marks on them that you would have to cover up.

you smelled a lot like sweet vanilla and it was addicting. he was obsessed. but he didn’t want to seem like a weirdo and sniff you. even though that’s all he wanted to do at this very moment. the boner in his pants grew again even though it never fully went down. but he couldn’t escape this time. as grabbing a pillow or shifting around would bring too much unwanted attention.

“you got it?” you ask softly sending shivers down his spine. he couldn’t do anything but nod as he feared he would unintentionally moan.

his hair tickled your face as he nodded causing you to notice how close you really were. they looked so enticing to touch and before you could think you reached your hand out. but decided against it, not knowing if he’d be comfortable with it or not.

“you can…touch me” he answered eyes still on the tv.

you grinned in excitement as you reached up to touch his hair. once the fluffy locks hit your hand you were in awe. they were soft and surprisingly smelt like strawberries. you reached your hand deeper into his hair massaging his scalp. ethan leaned into your touch groaning softly at the contact.

“mmh does that feel good sweetheart?”

ethan moaned in response pausing and setting down the controller. he loved the feeling of your acrylics running through his hair and scratching his scalp. he always has had a crush on you. he was quite literally obsessed with you. in ways he refused to admit. but he would be lying if he said he hadn’t stolen a few of your panties when you weren’t home. or purposely sat beside you during hangouts so he could learn your password to see private photos.

he relished in the feeling for a moment but he felt as if he was going to burst through his boxers. he turned and peered down at you, doe eyes hooded with lust. you were already looking at him feeling the tension rising. afraid that this could go too far and he wouldn’t feel the same way you did. you pulled your hand back but before you could get too far he swiftly caught it with his. eyes flickering from your rosy lips to your sultry eyes.

“ethan-“

before you could finish he had your lips in a deep kiss throwing the controller to the other side of the bed. his lips were soft and worked eagerly against yours. he then pushed you flush under him quickly moving in between your legs pressing his hard on to your core. wanting the kiss to be deeper you slipped your tongue in his mouth. he didn’t catch on right away but soon his tongue worked skillfully against yours. you whined gently as one of his hands was placed behind your head pulling you closer and the other trailing up your shirt.

your hands moved from around his neck to the hem of his shirt pulling it up eagerly. he obliged tossing it not really caring about where it went. when he looked back down at you he almost groaned at the sight. your lips pouty and swollen from kissing him, nipples now fully hard and on display to him through the thin fabric. legs wrapped across his waist practically rutting against him.

“oh fuck me…” he groaned practically ripping your shirt from your body.

you giggled softly at his eagerness but that was quickly replaced by soft moans as ethan kneaded your breast between his hand. placing small open mouth kisses on your neck sucking and biting the skin. he wanted to leave an obvious mark on you knowing a few classmates had a crush on you. he soon kissed his way down to your soft mounds suckling on your nipples harshly. your hands flew to his hair tugging it causing ethan to shudder under your touch. soft whimpers sending vibrations through your spine.

he stopped for a bit sliding his hand into your shorts. eyes mischievous and lustful with his hair wild from you playing in it.

“can i taste you y/n” you nodded shyly. the brown haired boy causing fires to ignite from the bottom of your stomach and thighs slick with arousal.

“please”

with this ethan pulled your shorts down with ease leaving you completely naked as he still had pants on. his hands roamed across your sides to your thighs dragging them teasingly. it made you feel exposed, your head shifting away from his avoiding eye contact.

“you’re so pretty” he complimented getting situated between your legs. he held you close with his hands on your thighs pulling you eagerly towards his mouth salivating at the site. you shuffled uncomfortably at his staring getting slightly embarrassed. but that washed away as he licked a long stride up your slit. it was unexpected and caused you to let out a loud moan.

you quickly covered your mouth remembering everyone was still only a hallway away. ethan chuckled slightly followed by him attaching himself back to your core. sucking your sensitive bud harshly. whining as your back arched into his mouth.

“ethan i can’t be quiet, we should-“ he cut you off again by kitty licking your core. you bit your lip hard, eyes screwed shut and your hands flew to his hair. his eyes rolled to the back of his hand causing a soft moan to escape from him.

“let them hear you.” he ordered, eyes looking up at you through hooded eyelashes. you sat up a bit meeting his eyes. the way he looked so innocent yet filthy made the fire in your stomach grow.

you tried your best to keep your moans soft but the feeling of his finger entering your heat caused your moans to go up an octave. you unsuccessfully pleading for ethan to slow down his movements on your sensitive bud. but he didn’t, noticing your movements against his tongue. fingers gripping his curls harder than before. he was in love with the way you tasted not wanting to break away. the feeling of inside of you making his head go hazy imagining what it would feel like to be his shaft instead.

you couldn’t hold back anymore. using a pillow to stuff your face in as ethan thrusted into you with an ungodly pace. telling you how good you taste and sound. you whined and whimpered repeatedly as he refused to let you go. tongue working eagerly to make you come.

“e- i’m gonna mmh i can’t”

before you could say anything else your orgasm washed over you. thighs shaking around his head. eyes forced to the back of your head and loud moans muffled by the pillow.

ethan finally slowed down letting you ride your orgasm out on his tongue. he kissed your abused clit gently earning a soft whine from you before connecting his lips to yours. tongue moving inside your mouth so you could taste yourself. you could feel his hard on through his sweatpants as your hands scratched his back.

he began to slide them off but was interrupted by loud knocking on the door.

“can you guys shut up? it’s 3 am!” mindy yelled from behind the door.

pt.2?

[choccorin]

one bed | ft. rin

tags. fluff , itoshi rin x gn!reader, self indulgent

a/n. rin brain rot is real. i wrote this at 3 am so expect errors !! <3

rin had managed to get a one week break from his work — because his coach forced him to, saying that he was working too much and that he should rest — and what better way to spend a week off than going to a resort with his lovely partner.

you booked a room at this beautiful resort to spend time together and while booking, rin says that the room must have two beds. you’ve been dating for a couple of months now, but haven't slept on the same bed before. that’s because rin is still shy around you, even if he doesn't show it — his reactions are always obvious. and that he’s not really the physical touch guy.

when the two of you arrive at the scheduled date, the receptionist tells you that there was a mistake in their system and that your booked room was accidentally given to someone else. they also couldn't take the room back because the customer came in a day before you. you look at rin who looks absolutely pissed, his face didn't change much but his eyes express everything. before he speaks, you cut him off,

“i’ll handle this, rin.” you smiled, gently squeezing on his left arm, giving him assurance.

he scoffs, “hmph. fine.”

while rin stands on a side of the counter, slightly frowning, you converse with the receptionist, asking if there are any rooms available. yes, they respond. but there was one issue.

——————

“one bed. there’s only one bed.” rin glares at the perfectly prepared bed with swan towels. he looks so displeased that it actually shows on his whole face, and his cheeks have that slight tint of pink, you giggle at the sight.

“ha? what’s so funny?!” he looks at you, flustered and confused.

“you just look so cute when you’re flustered, rin.” you try to stifle your giggles.

while giggling, the vast sea caughts your eye. you daze at how beautiful it looks from your room floor, you’re so focused that you don’t notice your boyfriend admiring you with a soft smile planted on his face.

rin would’ve rushed to the receptionist to change the rooms if you didn't look so perfect right now.

——————

since the two of you got here early, you both decided to have some fun at the beach and explore the resort as well. you were glad thar there weren't many people that recognized rin, or maybe they just respected his private life, either way you were happy that your boyfriend finally got to relax after training for weeks.

once you get back to the hotel, the problem hits you right after entering the room. both of you had so much fun that you both forgot that you were going to share the bed tonight, and also for the whole week.

rin suggests that he should just sleep on the couch with you immediately decline. what kind of girlfriend are you if you let your professional athlete boyfriend sleep on a couch that he could barely even lay on down, right?

you suggest that you sleep on the floor which he also, immediately declines. you’re now out of options, so you just decide to sleep on the same bed.

rin laid down far from you that almost feel offended, his back is facing you too, he really doesn't want to sleep on the same bed huh.

you went to ask on how he’s doing so you flip him to his back side and to your surprise, he’s absolutely flushed, red as a tomato, he’s so flustered that it’s out of character.

you knew he was shy on sleeping on the same bed but wasn't this too much?! he’s so red that your afraid he might pass out so you calm him down by holding his hands, giving them a few tight squeezes.

you're both now facing each other, making little talks here and there, you can tell that he’s still tense so you keep holding his hands until you both doze off, succumbing to sleep.

——————

when you wake up next morning, you’re surprised to see that you’re laying on top of him, on his chest. his arms are holding you tight which you know you have zero chances of escaping, so you just admire your boyfriend instead. you always adore how peaceful rin looks compared to how he usually is, his body is warm and his arms are comforting to be in. this is the first time this has happened so you might as well savor it to your hearts’ content.

[miclipse]

IM SCREAMING ur new raf fic with him being a literal fish WAS SO DANG CUTE ugh towards the end where he finally starts to warm up to her i wish he could give her a hug but he is technically a fish so KDKDKD

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪ a fish's embrace.

pairing: rafayel x fem! reader

synopsis: how do fishes give hugs? well, this is how rafayel does it.

word count: 1.8k

cw: afab! reader, rafayel is a fish (literally), reader is a princess, slight angst/comfort, fluff, slight mentions of death.

note: hear me out anon... you kept me up at night with this. read this first for context!! comments appreciated <3

“hi fifi, how’s your day?”

the familiar sight of you lowering yourself to sit on the chair and peering into his fishtank caught rafayel’s attention.

rafayel swam out of the coral he usually hid himself in, a trail of bubbles following behind him as his tail flapped left and right.

well, there was only so much rafayel could do everyday in this fishtank. some include performing his everyday underwater stretches and somersaults, as well as gobble up the pellets you would pour into his tank during meal times.

although rafayel does not mind being a domestic pet to a princess, he was a social fish— or what humans would call an extrovert. and isolating him in a fishtank with no other companions really had a toll on his mental health (yes, fishes have them too).

well, he had you. but conversations with you were one-sided. he tried communicating with you verbally, hoping you possessed some sort of special power that allowed you to speak to animals like those fairytales he would read about when he was still a small fry. but to no avail.

all you understood from him was glub glub glub and a couple of bubbles escaping through his mouth.

some fish could easily live in solitude, but rafayel was not one of them. he loved mingling and talking to other fellow fishes. he may not be fond of socializing all the time, but having a fellow fish to talk to occasionally would be nice.

it had been a while since he last had a proper two-way conversation with a fellow fish. those nights where he would be laughing and joking around with his friends was now replaced with being trapped in an enclosure and listening to you complain about royal affairs he doubted he was even supposed to be aware about.

rafayel learnt from you that the problems humans face was a million times more than the problems fishes like him face. his only concern back when he was still in the ocean was whether he would be a shark’s snack.

“do you ever feel lonely in here?” your sad sigh directed rafayel’s attention back to you. your hair was still wet from your recent shower, making it stick to your neck and leave a damp patch on the nightgown you currently had on. you rested your chin on the palm of your hand, staring into rafayel’s aquatic terrarium with a guilty expression.

rafayel responded with a glub and a couple bubbles coming out of his mouth.

“i was thinking of returning you back to your actual home,”

…wait, what did you just say?

suddenly, rafayel was filled with a sense of dread, his mind running a hundred miles per minute. you were planning to abandon him just like that? it had only been approximately two months (almost coming to three).

he was finally able to convince himself that you were far from those spoiled brats he had heard stories about back when he was a baby fish living in the ocean. was that kind nature of yours nothing but a facade? he thought the two of you were close enough to be honest with each other.

how could you be so cruel to make him develop such a strong sense of attachment and reliability towards you, only for you to want to throw him back into the ocean where you had initially found him?

just when rafayel was contemplating about dramatically leaping out from the top of the tank and perishing right then and there on your study table filled with confidential documents, you spoke again.

“but i don't want to be lonely again.” you whispered, now slumping over your desk with your arm as a cushion for your head. your index finger was absentmindedly tracing shapes and letters against the surface of rafayel's tank.

rafayel stayed still, blinking at you behind the glass and impatiently urging you to continue with what you were implying.

sometimes, he hated it whenever you talked in a way that left so much suspense in the air.

seriously, couldn't you just treat him like an inanimate object and just blurt out whatever that was on your mind? you were acting as if you were waiting for his response, and it made him feel annoyed to a certain extent.

it wasn't like you could understand him even if he were to respond to you anyways. all you could hear was glub glub glub.

“you're the only one that i can confide in. if you're gone, i don't know what to do anymore.”

you sounded… pitiful.

everyone would have thought being a princess was full of a life of privileges, fun and riches. but no one ever saw the harsh reality beneath the beautiful facade of your life.

rafayel wasn't sure if this was the life of every princess to exist, but if it really was the case, then every princess definitely led a miserable life.

the only difference between you and other princesses was that not all of them necessarily had a pet fish that they could turn to during times like this.

“you probably think i'm selfish, huh?” you mumbled to rafayel with a small smile, a faint chuckle escaping your lips. “holding you hostage in my tank just so i have someone to talk to.”

you've perfectly read rafayel's mind, the only flaw was that your mind reading seemed to have a two month delay.

two months ago, if you were to say the same exact words as you did just a few seconds ago, rafayel would have agreed with you in a heartbeat.

but things were different now. much, much different.

rafayel was a social fish. he missed being able to talk and have people (or fishes) actually understand what he was saying. he missed spending his nights keeping his fellow fish companions awake as they all told each other stories of what they've encountered while swimming around in the oceans during the day.

but if given the opportunity to choose between a life of solitude in your bedroom and swimming around aimlessly in the oceans, he would choose this life.

rafayel would choose you over and over again in a hundred lifetimes.

occasionally during the day when you were away for your royal duties, rafayel would think about this alot (not that he had anything else to do in here).

he had come to realise that when he were to eventually die one day, he'd much rather die here in this fishtank as compared to dying in the vast abyss of the ocean, where he wouldn't even know what was to happen to his carcass after his heart stopped beating. the most realistic scenario was that he would be eaten up by a shark or another hungry fish in the waters, but even just the thought of that sent shivers down the fish’s spine.

sure, rafayel had fish friends out there in the ocean, but who was to say that they hadn't already been devoured by other sea creatures?

a life out in the wild was always accompanied by danger, and rafayel was at an even greater disadvantage with his size as compared to the other animals living alongside him in the waters.

at least if he died here, he knew he would be remembered by you. he hated to think that he could no longer comfort and be there for you the day you would cry and weep over his passing, but he knew that he would forever live on in your heart at the very least.

the two of you were just a pair of lonely souls trying to heal each other despite your difficulties communicating to each other. rafayel was here for you to vent your frustrations of life as a princess, and you would be here to keep rafayel safe and remembered.

with you, rafayel had an identity. he was no longer a lost and stray fish swimming around in the ocean, worrying constantly of when he would be gobbled up.

he was your biggest treasure, your beloved fifi.

with him, you could put down the invisible crown along with the shackles of your status. you weren’t a princess, you weren’t the girl getting lectured and scolded by your parents for your misconduct. you were just an ordinary girl who absolutely adored her pet fish and cuddled with her plushies.

perhaps the two of you did have some similarities.

despite the many differences the two of you had, it was the small similarities you two shared that made your bond with each other so strong even with the lack of verbal communication.

that's right. the bond between you and rafayel was so strong that you both didn't even need verbal communication to come to a mutual understanding.

“i love you, fifi.”

hearing your declaration of love made rafayel feel all fuzzy inside today. perhaps it was because of how vulnerable the conversation (or monologue) was tonight, but he felt extra affectionate towards you today.

you slowly dipped the pad of your index finger into the tank, putting into careful consideration not to frighten rafayel away with any sudden movements.

rafayel tilted his head up to look at your index finger slowly sinking into the tank. you never moved your index finger towards him, you always left your finger in the middle of the tank to wait for him to approach you if he felt like it.

rafayel greatly respected that about you.

slowly swimming up towards your finger, he could picture the smile slowly growing on your face without even needing to turn to look at you.

although rafayel may be a fish, he would definitely put in an effort to show you that he loves you too.

rafayel used his bottom fins to wrap around your finger as a way to give you a hug.

a soft gasp could be heard, and you tried to contain your excitement but rafayel could feel how your finger was trembling with happiness as you tried not to make any sudden movements that'll frighten him away from you.

the both of you remained in this state for a few moments, enjoying the silence. rafayel was initially unsure of how you would react to him attempting to hug you, but his worries about that dissipated the moment he saw the expression on your face.

rafayel had no way to describe the way you were staring at him, but he could read what was currently in your mind.

thank you for loving me too, fifi.

and a part of him felt satisfied that his mind reading skills was much better than yours, because at least he could beat you at something.

as rafayel’s fins continued hugging your finger, he smiled faintly to himself. so this was how it felt to hug a human, huh?

tonight, he was not rafayel. he was not the fish that lived in the wild, loving freedom and dangerous adventures.

tonight, he was fifi. the princess’s beloved pet fish that she loved immeasurably.

all rights reserved © miclipse 2024. do not repost, plagiarize, copy, modify or translate my works on any platforms.

[calicoheartz]

“Baby I” - Paige Bueckers♡

summary : jealous Paige Bueckers x reader !

wc ; 897

synopsis : inspired by the song “baby i” by Ariana Grande :) Paige’s jealousy often gets in the way of your relationship, so what happens when you interact with a particularly attractive stranger?

warning : angst , suggestive content , jealousy / possessiveness

my master list ㇀♡

a/n : look at me having a posting streak !! decided to try something new today, so I hope yall enjoy ◡̈

You and Paige had been dating for not too long, but your relationship had certainly developed into one where strong feelings and emotions played a huge factor in your everyday lives.

It was no secret to you that Paige was jealous, envious even; it caused you a fair share of problems throughout your relationship. Whether it was through jealous ridden comments, or snarky remarks, it was slowly starting to take a toll on you.

You and Paige were invited to go bar hopping with the team, as a celebration of the victorious win for Uconn. The free spirited and ambient environment encouraged you to let loose, encouraging you to not only grab a drink from the bar, but to strike up a couple of conversations with individuals around you.

It’s not that Paige didn’t want you to talk to other people, it’s just that when it comes to you; she’s very, how do I word this.. Overbearing? Whether it was constantly having her hands glued to your waist, peppering your face with kisses, or shooting bitter looks and whoever even dares to be just a little too friendly.

On this particular night, a very attractive character to say the least, approached you; beginning to start a simple conversation. Asking things like your name, complimenting your outfit, and overall trying to learn more about you

From across the room, you can see the blonde staring intensely at you, giving you a disapproving look; signaling you to end the conversation. You furrowed your brows and gave her a confused look back, not understanding how the conversation was moving south in any way.

You quickly turned back around, further continuing your conversation with the stranger, when all of a sudden you feel a harsh tug on your wrist. “It was nice meeting you, but we have to go.” And just like that, there you were, being dragged out of the bar by your girlfriend. Who seemed incredibly pissed.

The drive back home was unbearable, no words were exchanged between you two. The blonde never acknowledging you on your journey back home, knuckles white due to her intense grip on the steering wheel. You couldn’t tell if she was upset, disappointed, horny, or a mix of all 3.

As soon as you reached your apartment, your nerves were eating you alive. You had no idea what was waiting for you once you reached your apartment door.

You quickly hurried inside, and situated yourself on your shared couch. Waiting for her to say something. You felt your heart pounding, unable to even form coherent words. When you realized the endless silence, you simply muttered out a “I’m..sorry?.” Paige rolled her eyes at you, scoffing in the process. “YOU’RE sorry? They were practically throwing themselves at you and all you did was stand there and let them.” You were shocked, you knew Paige could take things the wrong way, but you never imagined her of all people would think you would be the type to do that.

“Paige…” you started. “You know I love you more than anything, but you know words can’t even touch what’s in my heart,” you continued. Your eyes now spilling out tears you tried your hardest to keep in.

“Then why don’t you ever tell me?”... “I feel like I’m constantly competing with others for your attention” This statement startled you, as you knew Paige was well aware of your difficulty to express yourself, let alone reassure others. Fuck. Oh how badly you wished the floor underneath you would simply collapse, giving you any sort of escape from the high tensioned conversation.

You felt as if you were to speak, your throat would simply close up. You managed to croak out.. “It’s just when I try to explain it, I be sounding insane. Sometimes it feels like the words don’t ever come out right.” She looks at you, her gaze softening a bit; as a reaction to your sudden vulnerability.

“It’s just I don’t know…the words just never come out right when it comes to you. You make me get all tongue tied and twisted, and I literally cannot explain what I’m feeling.” “Baby-” “No.” - you cut her off. Quickly feeling a rush of adrenaline run through you. “Yes, I should’ve been more clear and work on my communication, but you need to realize that not everyone is trying to sabotage our relationship. It’s exhausting. I can’t keep isolating myself due to your jealous fits of rage.”

Paige looks at you, tears welling in her eyes, threatening to spill out if she even mumbles out a word. She muttered a quiet “im sorry…”, her voice cracking at the last word, her eyes glued to the floor as she anticipated your response.

As if she were a magnet, you run towards her and wrap your arms around her tall frame, gently rubbing circles into your back as sobs slowly escape her lips. This entire thing had been a complete misunderstanding, and her jealousy blinded her judgment. Through her weeps you were able to make out “i love you. All i was trying to say is that youre my everything and-”

She wasnt even able to finish her sentence as she felt your warm lips on hers, entangling her in a deep and loving kiss. “If that doesnt show you that i love you, i dont know what will”

not sure how to feel about this tbh, originally i was gonna give this a sad ending but since the song is a love song, it didn’t feel fitting. Lmk ur thoughts !! Thanks for reading ◡̈

[violetrainbow412-blog]

Birthday wishes [S. R.]

Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Word count: 6.4k

Summary: everyone seems to forget Spencer's 30th birthday, but he only cares that you remember it.

second part here!

contents: childhood best friends, idiots who-don't-know-they're-in-love, surprise parties, pure fluff honestly

If you like my work leave a comment or reblog, that would make me very happy!

The first thing Spencer did when he got home was get rid of his converse and even though it had been a relatively calm day he was exhausted, so he went straight to the bedroom to throw himself on the bed. He lay back for a while, just enjoying the calm, and then he fumbled for the cell phone in his briefcase. He hit the call button on the contact he'd wanted to talk to all day and then he waited patiently.

“L/N family residence, who do you want me to contact you with?”

"Hello, is Miss Y/N by any chance?"

"Who's looking for her?" you continued and a smile escaped from his lips. It was usual for you to respond in a silly way when he called you, so he was used to it by now.

"Her best friend, Dr. Spencer Reid"

“Spencer Reid? Spencer Reid, I don't think that sounds familiar…” you teased, hearing him snort from the other end of the line “Ah! Wait, I remember you."

“After knowing each other for like 20 years, I hope so” he laughed, and then you too.

Sure enough, the man and you were friends from a very early age. You were his neighbor when he lived in Las Vegas and your parents had always been quite nice to the family, knowing the delicate situation they faced, so it wasn’t difficult for you to become friends. You were the first friend he ever had, a real one, so there was a special fondness between you, even when he had gone off to college at such a young age and distance had subsequently separated the two of you.

You always called each other and every time he visited his mother it was a law that you also received a visit, even if the time was only enough for you to greet each other with a hug. You also traveled to DC a few times because of your work and you even had your own key to his apartment, so if he was busy with a case, you could stay there instead of paying for a hotel. Your relationship was like that of a brother and sister, although as this familiarity grew, it was slightly intervened by loving feelings that you didn’t want to face yet but were definitely there.

You knew a lot about his life from those long-distance calls that happened at least once a week, and right now he was excited about something in particular. He was exactly one week away from his thirty-year birthday, and he hoped that, like every year, you would fly from Las Vegas to see him. It was a tradition, whether it was thunder or lightning, you two hadn't missed a single birthday from the other since he had to move out of state. So Spencer was hoping that this call was for you guys to plan what you were going to do; regularly your birthdays were in restaurants or nice places and his were at home, with food delivery and classic movies, or when you felt very adventurous you could go to a museum or just walk through the streets.

"How are you, Reid? How is everything?"

"Not so good, but not so bad either" he laughed "And you?"

"Everything has been terrible, it's like a curse is on my head, I swear" you complained. Spencer got up from his comfortable position to sit on the bed and although he knew that most of the time you said things like that you were just exaggerating, this time he had a bad feeling.

"Why?”

You started to tell him about the financial problems you were going through and he, with his mind still focused on your visit, thought about offering to pay for your flight to DC, but his spirits fell completely when you told him that you were being put under too much pressure at work.

“We're going to have a meeting next Friday with HR to discuss responsibilities and so on, but honestly I don't think things will get better. Right now I'm working from home because there are pending issues that have to be resolved as soon as possible and I barely have time to think during the day, you seriously can't imagine how busy I've been.”

When you finished the story, he remained silent, feeling his chest squeezed by the direction that things were now taking. With that scenario, your visit was too complicated and he was debating internally about whether he should tell you something about it or not. As he had thought before, the money to have you with him wasn’t a problem, but dealing with the issue of your shortened times was totally different. He didn't want to make you feel guilty for not being able to go, let alone disrupt activities that he knew were important to you, like that meeting you just mentioned. So what should he do? He wanted you to be there, but he wasn't going to make you.

“Crash? You still there?" you asked. Only you and his mother called him that, since his nickname had arisen when he was just a child due to his clumsiness, a trait that, in your opinion, he still retained. It wasn't offensive coming from you, even he was glad to know that this was something that belonged to the two women he loved the most.

"Yes, I'm here. I just was thinking"

"You always do, I don't think there's a single second when that mind of yours rests," you said amused "Anyway, what's new?"

Spencer hoped that you would at least apologize to him for your future absence or ask him what he intended to do today. But you seemed not even aware of it.

“Nothing, really. Today we're done with a case and if I'm lucky I'll be able to rest this weekend” he murmured. Sometimes he would tell you things about the cases, omitting bloody and dangerous details, so he leaned back and started recounting all the events into the speaker of his phone.

You two continued to talk for almost an hour, but the topic of the birthday didn't come up once and Spencer didn't try to bring it up. After all, there were still a few days to go and in the worst case, you could at least call him that day to congratulate him, right?

But as the days went by, the anxiety ate him more and he even called you a few days after that, but he only received a response from your mailbox and after a few minutes a short text message where you explained that you were a little busy with work, but that you would call him as soon as you could. The fact that during those days he found out that the entire team already had something to do on Friday didn’t help his mood too much.

Hotch and JJ discussed a sleepover for Henry and Jack after work, he overheard Garcia and Morgan agreeing to visit a new bar for the night, Rossi said he was going to visit one of his ex-wives and when he thought he could still invite Emily to hang out, she went over to talk to him about the therapist appointment that she clearly didn't want to go to, but had to. There was no remedy, everyone had plans for his birthday and he didn’t want to interfere with them. Resignation was the only thing the doctor had left during the remaining days, and when he least expected it, the entire week had already passed.

He used to wake up to your off-key version of the birthday song and a cupcake with a candle stuck in it, then you'd make breakfast and you'd eat it together; so not having any of that when he got out of bed, he felt his heart break a little. This year he thought he would get your call first thing in the morning, but when he checked his phone he didn't even find a message announcing that there was a case. He didn't want to go to the office to do paperwork on his birthday, but the thought of at least getting a hug from his coworkers cheered him up slightly.

He put on his favorite shirt, a new pair of pants, and the converse that you had given him and he only wore on special occasions, before leaving the apartment. For some reason Spencer enjoyed taking the subway, perhaps more than anyone he knew, and this time he stopped at a coffee shop that was just before arriving to buy something to drink, since he didn't feel like eating anything.

He undertook the entire trip lost in his thoughts and when he least expected it, he was already at the headquarters. He checked his phone, again, but he still didn't get any notifications or missed calls. Many times you had insisted that he get a more modern model and he had refused, but now he was wondering if the advances in technology would have allowed him to communicate with you through a video call. It would be embarrassing to ask Garcia for a favor, so he concluded that he would just wait, after all if he hadn't communicated it must have been for something important.

Upon entering, he greeted everyone with a huge smile and he felt somewhat disconcerted when the others greeted him normally, without hugs or cake on the table. He sat down at his desk to start going through the documents he already had and the others continued on their own business. It was common for Emily or Morgan to come up to him for a chat, but on this particular day it was as if they were avoiding him. Even Penelope, who he swore would congratulate him, seemed to have completely forgotten when he came to her place with the excuse of needing a piece of information from the previous case. When Hotch called him to his office, the man's eyes lit up, believing that his boss had remembered the celebration of the date.

"Can you do me a favor?" he had asked, without taking his eyes off whatever he was writing "Donovan needs to sort some files and honestly he has no idea how to do it and I'm too busy to explain, could you do it?"

Donovan was in charge of the physical file inside the building and it was not usual for him to request this kind of support, but Reid still said yes, and the rest of the day passed with him locked in a cellar full of filing cabinets. He had made sure to take his phone with him and every time he turned it on to check it and he realized that there was no sign of you his disappointment increased. He came to wonder if his mind hadn't been playing tricks on him and, for some incredible reason, he had gotten the day wrong and it wasn't really October 12; but when he saw the calendar, he verified that this wasn’t possible.

“Are you out of punishment yet?” Emily taunted, when after many hours she saw him again by the bullpen. At another time Spencer would have laughed, but right now his mood wasn't quite right for it and he just looked at her, more hostile than he intended. “Hotch left you some documents on your desk, he asked if you could review them before you go. It's urgent,” she informed him.

It was obvious that this would take time and he felt like crying at the thought of having to stay longer than the regular time. It was almost an hour after everyone else had gone home that he finished, feeling somewhat annoyed to find out that even Aaron had already left.

He doubted whether to go home or go to dinner somewhere, because he knew that if he returned to the apartment he would sink into sadness. His birthdays didn't mean anything special on their own, what he liked was to feel loved, to enjoy the company, but above all to see you.

While he was leaving the building, and as if you were reading his mind, a call vibrated on his cell phone. Seeing that it was you, Spencer didn't take more than two seconds to answer, thinking that maybe after the whole day he could improve.

"You won't believe what happened to me!" you said, without even greeting him. It wasn't the kind of sentence he was expecting, but he still decided to listen.

"What happened?"

“There is a boy, at my work, his name is Brandon. Well, Brandon and I have talked a few times now and he seems like a nice person, plus he's pretty handsome and he finally asked me out on a date with him, can you believe it?" you murmured excitedly, and a lump formed in Spencer's throat "We're going out today, the meeting was canceled and we decided to take advantage of the time, but I can't decide whether to wear the red dress or the black and gold outfit that my mom gave me and I need the help of an expert. You have seen both, which one do you think suits me better?

Spencer was quiet for a moment, processing the situation she was going through, and it wasn't until you said his name that he reacted.

"I like your red dress," he murmured, with a sad smile that you clearly couldn't see. He couldn't believe you were going out with a man you'd never mentioned and it affected him more than he expected you to be asking for advice because a pang of jealousy shot through his chest.

You were telling him that you were going to have a date on his birthday.

“I thought the same! I guess that will be the best option."

"I guess…"

"Where are you now? At home?" you kindly asked. Your tone almost made him angry.

“I just got off work. I'm on my way to take the subway"

"Oh, excellent. Today there were no cases?"

"Not fortunately. I'm glad to know that the criminals at least respected my birthday."

With that said, there was a deathly silence between you, to the point where he wondered if you were still on the other end of the line or if you understood what he was implying.

“Spencer, my God, I…”

"It's okay if you forgot," he said, trying to play the matter down, but the tears that were beginning to accumulate in his eyes indicated otherwise. The guilty tone with which you had spoken was more than enough to know that, probably, if he hadn’t mentioned it, you wouldn’t have done it either "Nobody remembered it"

"I'm so sorry" you practically sobbed "Between all the work and stuff I... I don't even know why I forgot, forgive me”

"It’s okay" he replied. But it wasn't okay. 

“Can I do something to fix it? Whatever, you just… ask me what you want and I'll do it. I swear," you mumbled, sounding desperate.

He tried to convince you that there was no problem with it and you continued to pour out apologies, which Spencer knew were worthless now but he wasn't selfish enough to ignore them. He wanted to scream, cry, or do anything to get that weight off his chest and even though he loved the sound of your voice right now it was the last thing he needed.

“Anyway, I'm about to enter the subway and uh, I have almost no signal there. I'll call you later, okay?" the question didn’t wait for an answer, because he immediately added: "Good luck on your date, bye"

If he had considered going out to celebrate, he knew that now what he urgently needed was to go home or he would break down in tears in the middle of the street. The ride on the subway lasted longer than he would have liked, as he longed to go to sleep and find out if it would allow him to forget a bit about the shitty day he had just had. When he was finally in front of the door with the number 23 in gold letters, he struggled enormously to put the key into the lock, because the tears in his eyes were already clouding his vision, and he believed that the heaviness on his shoulders wouldn’t allow him to advance.

The key turned one turn, then another, and then Spencer was allowed inside the house.

One week before…

The team was meeting in the conference room at the request of Penelope, who had asked everyone to stay after the scheduled time, waiting to receive the news of what they thought would surely be a new case.

"And Reid?" Morgan asked, noticing the empty chair next to him, because they had seen him leave and that was reason enough to have questions about his absence.

"I'm glad you asked because this meeting is related to him," Garcia replied. With the push of a button, a face appeared on the main screen and almost everyone present was surprised to see who it was "She is Y/N Y/L/N, do you remember her?"

"You were at Prentiss's funeral, right?"

"That's right" you replied with a smile, looking directly at the aforementioned "I still have a little trouble understanding, uh... that whole thing, to be honest" you joked.

"Y/N asked us for this space to discuss something related to Spencer's birthday, which will be next Friday" explained Hotch, who was the other member who was already aware of the matter "The microphone is all yours"

"Okay, so where do I start? It's great to see all of you and I hope you're doing well. Every year I visit Spencer on his birthday and we spend the day together, but since this year is his 30th birthday I wanted to do something special and I want to know if you would be willing to help me”

"Tell us your plan, precious"

“I don't intend to take up a lot of your time, it's simple. I will call him today to insinuate that this year I can’t go and all I want you to do is pretend that day that you don’t remember that it’s his birthday”

"Wait, why do you want us to ignore it?" JJ muttered with a frown.

"I want to throw him a surprise party in his apartment" you explained with a smile and then the request you were making to them didn't sound so farfetched "You can tell him you have plans that day and if he mentions something you just say you can't go. I bought my flight for that day and I will be in the city starting in the morning, so I can prepare everything”

"And how will we do if he invites us somewhere?"

Morgan suggested using a decoy for him and pretending they were taking him somewhere else, but you balked at the idea.

“I have all my hopes that he doesn’t mention anything. If so, we'll manage somehow. And I know that asking for that is difficult because we are all his friends, but if necessary, avoid him completely that day. We need him to know under no circumstances that we have a surprise for him."

“He is very smart and he will figure it out. If we make him believe that we forgot he will concentrate on that” you argued. Although the others didn't want to admit it, they knew that you had a point there "I just hope you don't have some unforeseen case or something like that, because I would hate for that lie to be for nothing"

You discussed some more until you concluded that your plan was the most viable. The girls would help you with ideas for decorations and David even offered to buy all the drinks. Although the others weren’t surprised by his generosity, you were slightly upset, but this didn’t prevent you from accepting the offer and thanking him in advance.

“It really means a lot to me that you guys help me, thanks” you murmured happily, once everything was settled, and then your phone started ringing in the background “It's Spencer! I have to answer him. If something happens, you guys will tell me, right?"

"Take it for granted" smiled Garcia, who was the one who had lived with you the most, but everyone supported her from the bottom.

"Fine, thanks everyone, thanks Agent Hotch, I'll see you later!" you said goodbye, hanging up the video call and simultaneously answering the phone.

Everyone got up from the conference room and Rossi was the first to speak, a smile on his face.

"Call me crazy..." he started to say "but something tells me that girl and Spencer are going to end up together"

"The pretty boy loves her, but he still doesn't notice it," Morgan laughed, as they all walked out. "Whenever we go to Vegas, his eyes shine when he sees her."

“And she's setting this up for him! It's so sweet" Penelope sighed, who had already taken Derek's arm "But the part about being mean to Spencer doesn't convince me much… he's going to be so sad"

"Look at it this way, babygirl: if he's sad he'll be happier than usual with the surprise."

"Nobody's going to screw it up," Emily threatened them, pointing her index finger at them, and the rest of the team promised they wouldn't.

Meanwhile, your first part of the plan was in the works, with the late-night call he had made to you. You had to admit that lying to your best friend was something you hated, but with any luck it would all be worth it when you could hug him and give him that gift that you had carefully kept on one of the shelves, that you hoped could be enough for such an important event like the first thirty years of life.

What happened during the week is history, which was consolidated at the moment he turned the handle without even imagining what awaited him.

When Spencer walked through the door the first thing he did was turn on the light and he felt like he was going to have a heart attack when he heard the screams coming from inside. There were purple balloons scattered all over the floor, a congratulations banner, a table full of presents, and everyone was there.

The shock was such that he couldn't even manage to say a word and some of the tears that he had been holding back were finally able to come out, but this time for different reasons.

They hadn’t forgotten.

"How…? What are you doing here?"

“We came to celebrate your birthday, genius,” Morgan laughed, as he reached over to hug his friend and ruffled his hair brotherly.

A wave of hugs preceded that and even he received a couple of kisses on each cheek from Rossi, which finally made him laugh. He seemed like a child, completely fascinated with everything around him and still processing the situation.

In the midst of it all, he couldn't help wondering how his friends had been able to enter the apartment, since none of them had a copy of the key and the landlady was too suspicious to have let them in just like that, but he felt happy for the direction the day had taken.

“First of all, we have another surprise for you,” said JJ, obviously excited. The rest shared complicit glances and García began to record with his cell phone, which made him a little nervous "But you have to close your eyes."

Spencer looked at everyone else as if waiting for a confirmation of that, and seeing a couple of nods he did what his friend was asking. Just to make sure Jennifer covered his eyelids with her hands and in this way she turned him around, while he wondered what this surprise could be about.

"Are you ready?" she asked and the man answered yes with a hum. There was silence for a second, as if they were checking something, and then she withdrew her hand. "Open them."

Many possibilities went through the man's mind for whatever he would see at that moment, but when he did, he felt his heart stop for a moment. There you were, looking at him with a sweet smile and wearing that red dress. 

The rest of those present were waiting for who would make the first move, because the two of you had froze looking at each other, and García was only pointing the camera carefully as you had requested.

"Surprise?" you said shyly, noticing that Spencer hadn't said anything.

You were afraid that after the call you had he was upset with you in some way, but a second after he recovered from the shock he was already on top of you, holding you by the waist to spin you through the air while you laughed heartily.

"You came," he said, his voice cracking, but completely brimming with happiness.

"Of course I would, Spencer, do you think I'd miss your birthday?"

"But you... your work"

"All a vile lie"

"And that boy?"

“There was never such a thing,” you laughed, freeing yourself from the weight of guilt “You're my only boy,” you added affectionately, palms planted squarely on your friend's cheeks. He still had you in his arms and was grinning from ear to ear at your answers "I'm so sorry I told you all that, I just didn't want you to suspect anything, can you forgive me?"

"No!" he practically squealed and you widened your eyes in amazement “Today was the most terrible day because I thought you didn't care about me anymore, you made me suffer! All of you!" your friend complained, looking away from you briefly to look at those present.

"In our defense, she asked us to," Emily laughed, holding up both hands in surrender.

"You're so mean," he murmured, turning his attention back to you. "But I love you so much.”

A group sigh filled the room as he engulfed you in a hug and from your position you could see the teasing or tender smiles they all had. It wasn't very common to see the youngest of the team in that position, much less saying those things, plus we had to add the collective opinion that you were madly in love.

"Seriously, forgive me"

"It’s okay…" he whispered close to your ear "You're here, that's what matters"

His body felt so soft and safe that you didn't want to stop hugging him, but you knew that if you took too long it would create an uncomfortable environment for the rest, so you had no choice but to gently pull him away from you. The woman asked your friend, just to annoy him, if he liked his surprise and although he didn't say anything, the giant smile and flushed cheeks were enough of an answer.

"Come, you won't escape my melodious voice" you murmured after a few seconds, when the commotion calmed down a bit.

Taking him by the hand, you led him to the table where you had the chocolate cake with a couple of candles that formed the number 30. Everyone sang the song while the wick burned down and the boy looked anywhere, with that certain shyness characteristic of him. When he blew out the candle to make his wish, you all applauded and that started the celebration.

There were some appetizers on the table and Rossi had stocked all the drinks quite well, as he had promised. As the minutes passed you hovered here and there to check that things were in order, arranging everything as if it were your own apartment, and Spencer could only smile at how well you seemed to get along with everyone. The last time you'd seen the team was, sure enough, during Emily's funeral, but that didn't mean there wasn't some history between you.

He still remembered the feeling of shame when in the early years he had asked Gideon for permission to summon someone to the hotel during a case in Las Vegas. It wasn't that he was ashamed of you, but that he was ashamed of having to reveal something so important in his life to his FBI colleagues. The agent didn't object at all, but that didn't spare the man from being grilled by Derek and Elle about which mysterious lady their younger coworker was talking to. Over the years, people left the unit, and others joined, but the constant was always you. Even now, if a replacement happened, Spencer knew that the rest of the team would take it upon themselves to introduce you to said person. 

At some point he felt a tremendous nostalgia for that time and in a chain of thoughts he came to ask himself if working where he did was the right thing to do. Turning thirty was cause for celebration, but for him it was also tantamount to thinking how well he had lived up to the expectations of what he expected to have achieved at this age: How much progress should he have made in the world by now? Was it any use having that brilliant mind that everyone raved about if he was working in a government office? And what about his personal life? He wanted to get married at some point and wondered if he should be looking for love instead of criminals. Even while he was through all this, he wished he could focus on how happy his friends had made him instead of worrying about other things. 

"Up to here I can see the gears of your brain" laughed someone next to him. It was Emily "What's wrong?"

"Nothing" he murmured, shaking his head softly "I was thinking about some things, it's just that"

"You should drink some more, that wine that Dave brought tastes delicious" she smiled, inviting him to come closer to the others to chat.

It was a bit ironic, but completely understandable, that even at his own birthday party he would remain a bit oblivious to the situation. Following Emily's advice, he poured himself another drink and joined the other attendees to enjoy the moment. For hours you laughed and chatted, until the drinks were running out and your drunkenness rising.

The parents of the group were the first to leave and the last was a drunk Penelope who threatened to stay there to sleep, but Derek took it upon himself to guide her to his car to take her home. It was late at night when only you and Spencer were left, amidst all the decorations in the room.

"Peace and tranquility"

"It was too much?" you laughed, knowing that your friend could become overwhelmed by the hustle and bustle.

"No, no. Just kidding"

“And was it okay for you? You had fun?" you asked, referring to the party, as the two of you sat down on the leather couch. The dress you were wearing rose to the top of your thighs and his attention strayed there for a second, so he looked up guiltily; He didn't help the blush on his cheeks that there was your cleavage. 

"Everything was wonderful"

"Are you seriously not mad at me?" you insisted

"No, honey, I'm not," he laughed. You tried to ignore the fact that he had said that to you, since it wasn't something he was used to, and just smiled sheepishly, "I mean, at first I was a little, but now that I understand why you did it, I'm not anymore."

“You are already thirty… you are so old!”

"You are older than me!" he squealed, completely offended, and you responded with a laugh. Although that was true, you looked more jovial than the man, something that a variety of people had taken it upon themselves to verify.

"Now that I remember, do you want to see your gift?"

"Isn't this supposed to be my gift?" The confusion was evident in his voice and you refrained from answering, as you bolted into the room. You came back from there with a box in your hands, which you later placed on your lap with evident emotion.

“I wrapped it myself” you confessed, rather proud of yourself. You had found a piece of paper to cover with drawings of equations and small microscopes that you thought captured the essence of your friend and, of course, now that he had seen it, he had liked it a lot.

The man's fingers drummed the surface under your expectant gaze, and then he winced slightly.

"What's up?"

"I don't know, I think maybe I should open it later…"

"Spencer Reid!" you yelled. It was obvious that he was only joking with you and you knew that by the laugh that escaped his lips. 

Your friend opened the box almost ceremonially and then removed the tissue paper that covered the contents: above all there were two hardcover books, one about the world of fungi and the other about poetry, next to it an hourglass, then three boxes with jigsaw puzzles, a pocket chess game, packets of Reid's favorite sweets, and last but not least, a picture of the two of you in a pretty chocolate-colored frame and a little paper envelope to go with it. One by one he was taking out the gifts and his smile only grew with each object, while he felt his heart grow with love.

"I remember this day" he murmured, referring to the photograph you had chosen. The sky was blue behind you and you were kissing Spencer's cheek, who was smiling at how spontaneous it had been “We were in a park after going to an art exhibition."

“And we bought the most delicious ice cream in the world”

"I differ, I've had better," he murmured, shrugging. The truth is that you thought that the ice cream had been delicious because of the whole panorama of that day, not so much because of the taste itself.

Spencer knew that photo would have to go on his desk in the bullpen, although the taunts he was sure the others would throw at him. Perhaps having you there would serve as a reminder that there was good in the world, despite everything he could see on the job every day. 

“Oh, and I read somewhere that hourglasses help people with anxiety because it's relaxing to watch the sand fall so they can focus on it. I thought you might like it, I bought it at an antique store."

"It's very nice" he agreed, turning the object over and checking that it actually worked "I'll open the note, okay?"

Spencer always preferred that you read his letters in private because if he saw your face and knew you were reading those words he would just cringe, but you didn't seem to share that trait so you agreed to his request. As with the box, he carefully opened the envelope and then pulled out a handwritten note.

I hope you like these little gifts that try to express a huge love.

Never doubt that you are making a change in the world and that you are surrounded by people who love you, including your old neighbor who now ironically lives too far from you. 

Happy 30th birthday to my favorite person in the entire world. I am confident that many more years will come for both of us.

Always yours, Y/N.

"Don't cry, Reid" you asked gently, feeling your own tears at the edge of your eyes. Spencer smiled and leaned in your direction to wrap you in a hug so hopefully you wouldn't notice if he got emotional.

"Thank you" was the only thing he managed to say. 

He wanted to thank you not only for that day but for years of friendship, years of feeling like he wasn't so alone in the world if he had you by his side and even thank you for treating him like a normal kid when no one else did. And as always, you perfectly understood what he was referring to.

You stayed like that for a few minutes; Spencer tucked into the crook of your neck and cooing at the throbbing on your pulse line, and you basking in the warmth of the contact.

“Did you like the puzzles?” 

"Yeah! They are great” he replied, as he moved away from you so that he could observe you “Do you want us to put one together?”

“Sure” you smiled “Just let me put on my pajamas and I'll be right back, okay?”

"Good. You look very beautiful in that dress, by the way. I don't know if I forgot to tell you” he flattered you, making you smile sincerely. 

"You chose it, remember?"

Before getting up you kindly squeezed his cheek and after changing your clothes you returned to where you were. He had chosen the puzzle with the design of a Monet painting and spread it out on the floor, where the two of you settled comfortably.

Your friend took a bunch of pieces and you took another and you guys worked in silence until little by little things started to come together. He was very good at the task and very soon he already had a considerable part assembled; although you were going a little slower you followed a constant rhythm. 

"Hey, Spencer"

"Yeah?" he asked, too intent on finding a place for the piece in his fingers to watch you.

“What was your birthday wish? When blowing out the candles”

"Oh, I didn't wish for anything"

"Why?" you asked confused.

Spencer looked up from the puzzle and smiled at you.

"Because my birthday wish was already right here"

It seemed obvious to him, but it took you a second to understand exactly what he meant and when you finally did, your eyes gave him the sweetest look of all.

You and your friend stayed up all night until the play was over and after that you both stumbled to bed, where you fell fast asleep in each other's arms.

At some point Spencer half-opened his eyes, prisoner of a bad dream, and when he was aware of the situation he felt the peace he needed. After that it didn't take him long to get back to sleep, with a smile on his face and his whole world held in his arms.

taglist: @navs-bhat @reidwritings @tricia-shifting14 @spencerslove

[straylightdream]

rose-colored boy

𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐭: bang chan x reader

↳ Life never goes as planned, when you were younger you always imagined as reaches your mid twenties you would be married with kids. Instead you’re stuck at home helping take care of your sick grandmother and still desperately searching for her fathers approval. The only thing in your life that makes you feel normal is Chan.

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: non idol au, romance, angst, smut

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: explicit sex, anxiety, and mentions of depression, crying and lots of emotions.

𝐚𝐧: I’m reworking a story I posted in 2020 here. This story is a one shot right now, but if there is enough interest I might write a part two.

𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲

The sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach is an all too familiar feeling that you’re a disappointment. Inhaling a deep breath you're listening to your father gush about your brother and his new wife. Your younger brother sports a proud smile listening to your father. This family dinner was exactly like all the other ones you have shared.

“Y/N have you considered going back to school?” Your father asks, pointing his attention back at you.

Closing your eyes you take a deep breath attempting not to roll your eyes at your father. He’s aware that you don’t have time to go back to school. He chooses to ignore the fact that your grandmother's condition is getting worse and your mother needs all the help she can get. Your father tends to live in his own world ignoring the problems you and your mother and his ex wife face. He stopped caring long before he left your mother, so it’s not like this is anything new.

Looking at your brother you give him a pleading look. You wished he would recognize your silent begging for help.

“I would love too, but mom needs my help with grandma,” you try your hardest to keep your tone even. You don’t need your father or your stepmother Hae-Won commenting about your bitchy attitude.

“Your mother needs to put her in a home and move on,” your father’s cold tone stings. He’s always been a more distant man, but at one point he did actually love your mother and her family.

“Mom needs Y/N,” your brother finally speaks up defending you.

“Darling, listen to your son,” Hae-Won rested her hand on your father's arms. Your stepmother tends to be the voice of reason when it comes to your father. Hae-Won is a kind woman and she always attempts to treat you with kindness.

Dinner continues with a blur. Your father has switched his attention back to your brother and his career. Standing up, walking outside desperately needing fresh air and escape from constant judgment. Your brother walks outside with his car keys in his hand.

“Sorry that was so rough,” he finally speaks.

Shoving your hands in your jeans pockets you try to act like you aren’t fazed by their constant judgment.

“Joshua, that was like every single dinner we have,” looking down at your feet you sigh.

“YN, I’m sorry I’m not there for mom,” he reaches his hand out resting it on your shoulder.

“You’re married now, Rosie needs you.”

Your brother being married had nothing to do with him not helping mom. The moment Joshua went to university he found his escape from the life you were now trapped in. If it wasn’t for you your mother would lose her mind. Your grandmother's Alzheimer's started getting bad while you were in high school, and proceeded to get worse while you were in your first year of university. Your mother’s mental breakdown during the summer after your first year pushed you to drop out to help out at home.

“Did you need a ride home?” your brother asks.

Silently you nod.

The ride was filled with awkward conversation. You and your brother used to be close. When he was at home you used to be best friends. He quickly found a life away from you and your mother. You can’t blame him though. If you were given the chance to run away from all this you in a heartbeat. You dreamed of a life away from yours. You want a life when you don't struggle to get by. You want a life that doesn't feel completely trapped. You desperately want to go back to school and get your degree, but it’s just not an option.

Pulling into the drive of your family home Joshua puts the car in park, but doesn’t turn it off. You want to ask if he’s gonna go inside to see mom, but you know the answer.

“You should come over to have dinner with Rosie and I.” He’s always trying to get you to be closer with his wife.

“Okay,” you say, getting out of the car. Glancing back at your brother while shutting the door you see him wearing a sad smile. You wished things between you and your brother weren’t so strained.

Walking inside you find your mother sitting in the living room talking to your grandmother.

“Hi,” you stop and wave at them.

“Are you my granddaughter?” Your grandmother asks, looking at you.

Your stomach drops and you put on your best fake smile you can possibly muster and nod your head. It never gets any easier. The feeling of her not remembering you feels like a dagger slowly being pushed into your chest. You think back constantly to the days where your grandmother was your favorite person. Back to the days when your parents would fight and your grandmother would come and pick you up and take you out to get ice cream. All the sweet memories you used to share have slowly started drifting away. You can’t help but feel mad that you’re watching one of the people you love most in the world drift away. You’re not nearly as patient with her as you’ve been in the past. You curse yourself each time you give the slightest attitude answering the same question for the hundredth time. It’s hard to explain the way you feel. In the earlier stages when you first dropped out of school you used to sit for hours with your mother keeping her company as she watched her mother, but as the more time has passed its grown more difficult to sit there. These days your grandmother could barely maintain a conversation, and most of her questions were about sore subjects. She often asks your mother where her husband is. Or asked if you were married. Your dating life in itself was a touchy subject. You had zero desire to bring someone into your life. You were trapped enough that nobody deserved to be dragged into this life.

“How was dinner?” Your mother asked, standing up.

“Fine,” you lied, turning on your heels and heading down the hallway towards your room.

Shutting the door press your back against the door and let out the breath you didn’t realize you were holding. Reaching into your pocket you pulled out your phone to see a text from Felix. It simply read “come over to mine and Jisung’s for drinks at eight.”

Looking at the clock on your nightstand you saw it was already eight thirty. You already had a rough night. You should probably take a hot shower and call it a night. Holding your phone up you stared at his text for a solid moment before you simply responded, “be there soon.”

Opening your door walking back into the living room you find your grandma sitting alone. Walking into the small kitchen you find your mom pouring herself a large glass of wine.

“Did you need my help tonight?” You prayed she would say no. You needed a night with your friends especially after your dinner with your dad.

“Where are you going?”

“Felix invited me over for drinks,” you give her a small smile.

“I’m assuming your father was in one of his moods,” she brings the red wine up her lips and takes a big gulp.

“I’m nothing more than disappointment, especially when I’m next to the shining star known as Joshua,” you sound bitter, but you can’t help it. You would be lying to yourself if you said you aren’t jealous of your younger brother.

“You’re not a disappointment,” your mother states.

“Dad thinks I am,” you don’t want to talk about it anymore. This subject just makes you feel even worse.

“Your father's opinion doesn’t matter.” You wish that was true, but for some reason your father’s opinion felt like everything to you. You’ve lived your whole life wanting nothing more than your father's approval.

“Go have fun with your friends.”

Stepping outside you're greeted by the cold autumn air. You choose to walk to the boys place. It’s only a ten minute walk, and you know the walk will give you time to clear your head. You need this time to push away the feeling of disappointment and sadness.

Walking up to the door you knock and step back. It takes all of thirty seconds before Jisung opens the door and pulls you inside. Looking around. In the apartment you see a small group of friends. It’s Felix, Jisung and their six guy friends and three girls. You recognize the blonde girl Soomin as the girl Seungmin has been trying to hook up with.

“Drinks are in the kitchen,” Jisung says.

Nodding you walk into the kitchen. In the small white kitchen you find Chan talking to Felix. Felix wastes no time reaching forward pulling you into a hug.

Pulling away, Felix holds your shoulders and looks at you with his eyebrows knit together. “Why are you so tense?”

“I had dinner with my father and Joshua.”

“Is your father still acting the same?” Felix is one of the few people who know your whole situation with your family. Not even Jisung, who you’re just as close to, knows about your whole family situation.

“Yeah,” you sigh, glancing over at Chan who looks at you like he’s studying you.

“Did you want something to drink?” Chan asked.

Felix removes his hands from you. He smiles over at Chan and says, “make the girl something strong she really needs it.”

Felix walks out of the room leaving you alone with Chan. Things with Chan have always been easy. He’s someone who is kind and easy to make conversation with. You’ve grown closer to him over the last couple months. He’s an old high school friend of Felix. Out of all your friends he seems to by far have his life the most together. He works at a bank in a high up position and even has his own apartment. You’ve watched enough women at bars attempt to capture his attention, but the thing about Chan is he doesn’t seem to want theirs. He’s always seemed so driven by work you’ve never even heard of him dating anyone.

Handing you a red cup he captures your attention, “it’s pretty strong.”

“Is everything okay?”

You take a sip of the strong drink and look up at him with hooded eyes. Shrugging your shoulders you aren’t even sure how to respond to that question. Technically everything is okay, nothing has changed. You feel the exact same way you’ve always felt. You’re just doing a terrible job at hiding it. Normally you pride yourself on trying to hide away all your problems that seem to be eating away at you.

“Rough day,” you sigh.

He leans back against the counter and looks at you. You can’t help but let your eyes travel across his body. Chan is very handsome and you aren’t really sure why some girl hasn’t been able to lock him down. He stands there oh so casually dressed jeans and button up shirt.

“You know you can talk to me right? I know Felix is the only one you fully let in, but I like to think we’re friends too. If you need someone to vent to, I'm here to listen.”

“I don’t need to burden someone else with all my problems.”

Chan is one of the kindest and most caring people that you’ve ever met. He’s always been like the father figure of your group of friends. You’ve seen your friends pull him aside to talk to him when they’re having problems. He’s being honest with you when he tells you he’s there to listen to you. He won't judge you for whatever you’re going through.

“You know you aren’t a burden to anyone right? You’re friends with me and all the boys. We’re all here to support you. We just want to help.”

You wished it was that easy that you could just talk about your problems and it would help them go away. You could scream from the rooftop that you’re tired of feeling like a disappointment, but it wouldn’t make the feeling go away. You could scream that you’re tired of being trapped in a life that you didn’t choose, but at the

end of the day you’ll still have to go home. Your mother is still in desperate need of your help. You couldn’t just walk away from your family, like your brother did. You know your brother didn’t leave to hurt you, but it didn’t dull the pain anymore.

“I’m okay Chan. Thank you for your offer though.”

“Come sit on the patio with me,” he says.

You aren’t sure why he wants you to go outside with him, but nod your head and follow him. He slides the glass door open that’s connected to the kitchen. You step outside and he closes the door behind you. The chilly night air feels nice against your skin as you take a seat in one of the two chairs that are sitting in front of a glass table. Chan sits next to you, placing his cup on the table. You look at the cup curious to know what he’s drinking. It’s rare that you ever see him drink. He’s the one who is always the designated driver or the one in charge of looking after your friends who tend to get a little too rambunctious when they drink.

“What are you drinking?” You ask.

“Water,” he lets out a soft chuckle. You can’t help but shake your head. It was rare you ever saw him eat or drink something that isn’t healthy.

“Did you have work today?” You attempt to make small talk with him to avoid talking about things that are too personal.

“Yeah I worked until five.”

Chan was one of the higher ups at a bank in the city. He tended to wear a suit for a living and work nine to five. He probably had his life the most together out of all your friends he followed the path he always planned on following. Your friends all had their lives together, but they all still liked to party and let loose. Sure Minho and Hyunjin were making good money working as dancers but their job wasn’t always super steady. Felix and Jeongin both worked for a tech company that just started up. Seungmin is a teacher. Jisung also worked as a publisher, and Changbin was working as sound technician at a record label. Literally all your friends have their lives more together than you. You dropped out of college to help at home, and you work a retail job barely getting by.

“Did you work today?” He asks.

You shake your head, “no I had to ask for the day off to see my dad.” You tense up just mentioning your dad. You don’t mean to, it’s just a force of habit.

“You didn’t want to come over tonight did you?” He asks as he brings his cup up to his lips. He takes a drink and watches you.

You weren’t sure if you should answer him honestly. Part of you wanted to stay home and take a shower and just attempt to push away the negative thoughts that seem to be eating away at you. You only came over to escape the trapped feeling of being at home.

“I need to get out of my house,” a heavy sigh passes your lips.

“Are you okay?” He reaches over and rests his warm hand on top of yours. There’s something comforting about his touch.

An almost sarcastic laugh passes your lips, “my grandma didn’t know who I was when I came home today.”

His eyes grow wide as he stares at you. He purses his lips together as he stares at you attempting to figure out what he should say to you. He knows that he can’t say sorry to hear that. He knows nobody fully understands what you’re going through. He only knows about your grandma because Felix told him one day. Felix was worried about you because he hadn’t heard from you in two days. In a panic Felix let him know about the stress you were under at home. Felix swore him to secrecy telling him that you couldn’t know that he knows. That you didn’t want everyone knowing about your problems.

“I know you’re probably tired of hearing this, but I’m really sorry you have to go through that. That must be heartbreaking to experience,” his hand remains on yours as his dark eyes stay on you.

Closing your eyes you push back your tears that are trying so hard to fall. You’ve had a rough day and you don’t want to cry, but the overwhelming weight of the world seems to be resting on your shoulders.

“It fucking sucks,” you shake your head.

“Well my offer still stands if you ever need to talk about it. I'm here for you. You also know that Felix and Jisung would go to the ends of the world for you.”

Felix constantly told you that he was there for you. You couldn’t even count the number of times Felix came over to your house and just laid in bed with you listening to you cry about your problems. Felix is your rock. He’s been there through hell and back holding your hand. Jisung would also be there for you if you would fully let him in. He knows details of your problems, but he’s not the one you call when you’re crying.

“Why are you being so nice to me?” You need to know if he’s doing this just because he is pitying you.

“Because you’re a good person, and you don’t need to feel alone,” his thumb brushes across your skin in a calming motion.

“I don’t feel alone. I have Felix,” it was a lie. You felt lonely all the time. You couldn’t seem to fill the empty hole in your chest.

“You can have more people than just Felix that care about you. All seven of those guys in the house care about you. I even care about you. I can see that you’re hurting, and you can put on a fake smile and try to act happy in front of all of us, but you don’t have to. You’re allowed to be sad, and if someone or something is hurting you, you don’t have to turn off those emotions,” his voice is so calming as he speaks to you. He’s saying things to you that you’ve been needing to hear for a long time. Some of the things he’s saying Felix has said to you as well, but for some reason they just feel different coming from Chan.

“I don’t want to be fake happy anymore.” You wanted nothing more in the world to feel real happiness. You wanted that feeling of being a disappointment to fade away.

“Let more people in then.”

The air between you feels thick as you stare at each other. There’s something between you and you can’t seem to put your finger on it.

“What happens if I let you in?” You take a deep breath keeping your eyes locked on him.

“Then I’ll be there for you. I can be there for you just like Felix.”

“You’ll get tired of hearing about my problems.” You knew Felix was probably tired of listening to you cry.

“Believe me I won’t.”

Looking away from his intense gaze, you need to step away from this. This all feels too overwhelming. Chan removes his hand from the top of yours, noticing your change in demeanor.

“I need some water,” you quickly stand up.

He walks over and opens the sliding door holding it open for you. You walk inside heading straight to the fridge to pull out a bottle of water. He stands in the kitchen watching you.

“I’m sorry if I overwhelmed you,” he walks closer to you.

“I had a weird day. This isn’t because of you,” you don’t want him to know that you were freaking over letting your walls down around him.

You stand there alone for a long moment. Seungmin walks in letting his presence be known singing a random song loudly. Your eyes snap over to your loud friend hoping he will relieve some of the tension that has formed between you and Chan.

Seungmin’s eyes bounce between the two of you, stopping right by both of you. “YN you’re so tense when was the last time you got laid?” Seungmin speaks, putting his hand on your shoulders and shaking you. Seungmin has never been the best at using the filter between his brain and his mouth. Your cheek burn with embarrassment as your eyes bounce between Seungmin and Chan. Chan is wearing an apologetic look while Seungmin looks all too proud that he’s embarrassed you.

“Seungmin you don’t get to ask me that,” you practically shout, feeling utterly embarrassed. You didn’t want to discuss your sex life with Seungmin of all people. He’s got by far the biggest mouth out of all your friends.

“It’s been awhile if you won’t answer,” he barks out a laugh and looks toward Chan who is blushing. “Chan you also look super tense. When was the last time you got laid?” Seungmin has realized that he can make both of you feel incredibly awkward with zero effort. One of Seungmin 's favorite pastimes is embarrassing his friends.

“Seungmin, knock it off,” Chan responded, completely deadpan.

“Maybe you two should have sex and you can both relax for once,” Seungmin smiles, stepping away from you.

“Well that was beyond awkward,” you respond.

“I mean maybe you two should bang. Maybe both of you could actually have fun for once,” was the last thing he said before walking out of the kitchen.

You’re left standing there with just Chan who seems to be having an issue with making eye contact with you. Pushing your lips together you look at him attempting to even figure out what exactly you should say. Seungmin wasn’t wrong about you probably need to have sex. You’d been so stressed you couldn’t even remember the last time you were intimate with someone. Hell the last time you kissed someone was Felix during a drunken game of truth or dare on his birthday. During that drunken mess of a night you were dared to either kiss him or Seungmin and Felix was the safe bet being your best friend.

Chan nervously scratches his neck and looks up at you finally.

“I take it��s been a while for you too?” He finally speaks.

Talking about sex has always made you feel slightly awkward. You’ve never been a person who would openly share details of your sex life.

“Yeah probably too long,” sighing as you lean against the counter across from Chan.

“If it makes you feel any better I’m in the same boat. It’s been a while.”

You aren’t sure what possessive you to say it but without thinking you say, “maybe Seungmin right, maybe I do need to have sex. I’ve been so stressed with everything.”

Chan cocks his eyebrow and stares at you looking caught off guard. He audibly swallows, not expecting you to agree with his younger friend. In the whole time he’s known you, Chan doesn’t think he’s ever heard you mention anything to do with sex. You had this air of innocence to you. He was well aware you weren’t a virgin, he’s heard you talk about your ex who strung you along off and on for six years. There was just something so innocent about you that the topic of sex made you blush and feel awkward.

“Who would you sleep with?” he’s not sure why he asks. He knows damn well it’s none of his business. He knows no matter who you say he’s not going to like the answer. He doesn’t like the idea of you sleeping with anyone.

Shrugging your shoulder you realize you don’t exactly have men lining up the block to have sex with you. You could try those dating apps people use to hook up, or maybe a friend. You trusted all the boys but you knew certain ones would complicate your life. Felix specifically was off limits, he’s your best friend and you couldn’t do anything to ruin that. Changbin crosses your mind for a small moment. He’s extremely handsome and charming and has even flirted with you before.

“I don’t know,” you finally respond.

As Chan watches you can tell you seem to have a million things going through your mind. He wants to offer up his services but he’s not exactly sure how you would take his offer. He couldn’t lie to himself, he's always been attracted to you, and he’s enjoyed getting to know you. He also appreciates that you seem to be letting your walls down around him.

“If I ask you something can you promise not to slap me?”

You nod not exactly sure what he could possibly ask you.

“Would you be willing to have sex with me?” His heart races as he stares at you trying his hardest to judge your reaction.

You look at him completely dumbfounded. You aren’t even sure if you heard him correctly. Bang Chan is one of the most handsome men you have ever laid eyes on. He’s also got the body of a Greek god, and he just asked if you would be willing to have sex with him. You blink a handful of times attempting to process his question.

“You want to have sex with me?” you blurt out.

He nods and gives you an innocent smile, “yeah.”

“Oh,” you stammer over that simple word. Your mind is still trying to process that Chan actually wants you.

He pushes himself off the counter and looks at you with a guilt ridden face, “you can totally say no. I’m sorry for making this weird.”

He looks cute and completely flustered. Reaching you rest your hand on his arm, “if you’re sure you want to. I would like to relieve some stress with you.”

“Oh,” he opened his mouth and stared at you, completely shocked that you agreed. He didn’t actually have a plan of action if you agreed. He thought for sure you were going to shut him down without even thinking twice.

“Did you want to do it tonight?” You felt so weird asking him if he wanted to leave to have sex. This whole situation was completely uncharted for you.

He nods and gives you an awkward smile, “yeah we can go to my place if you want.”

“Can we please head out now?” You want to leave as soon as you can. You know you should stay and talk to Felix some more, but he seems to be giving you space to talk to Chan.

“Yeah I can drive us.”

“Let me say goodbye to Felix.”

You walk off to the living room where you find your best friend talking to Jeongin. You tap his shoulder and he turns to face you.

“Chan is gonna take me home.” You decide to spare the details that you’re leaving with him to have sex. You know out of all your friends Felix won’t judge you, but he might be concerned about your feelings.

Leaning forward he pulls you into a tight hug and presses his lips to the top of your head before whispering that he’ll see you tomorrow.

You wave goodbye to the rest of the group before meeting Chan at the door. He holds the door open and as soon as it shuts behind him he ever so slowly reaches down, taking your hand in his. A spark goes across your skin as he holds your hand tight. He leads you down to the parking garage below the building and holds your door open as you slide inside. He gets in and starts the car. He turns the radio on to give you some background noise.

You drive in silent with nothing but the hum of the radio for five minutes before you break the silence between you.

You clear your throat catching his attention. He glances over at you and gives you a soft smile.

“So, I’ve never done anything like this. Like I’ve had sex outside of a relationship, but never with a friend,” you’re rambling but you really can’t help it.

“I haven’t either,” he reaches over resting his hand on your thigh.

“So we’re both nervous?” You look over at him trying to read his expression.

“Yeah I’m nervous too.” It’s reassuring to know he feels the same way you do.

Pulling into the parking garage. He shuts the car off and gives you a smile before getting out of the car. You take a deep breath before unbuckling your seatbelt. Hoping out of his car you find home waiting for you with your hand out. You lace your fingers with his without giving it a second thought.

Chan felt like a nervous teenager as he held your hand. This whole situation was something he’s never done before. He has a million thoughts going through his mind as he holds your hand leading you towards his apartment. He has one mission tonight, and that’s to make you forget your problems for a little while. He wants to make you feel good and to relieve all the stress that’s built up.

Entering his apartment he releases your hand as he gives you a minute to look around and take in your surroundings. You’ve only been to his place twice and both times you were with Felix and you weren’t there very long. His apartment is pretty large and has a minimalist aesthetic to it. You’ve heard Chan talk about how much he hates decorating. Stopping in his living room in front of his black leather couch. Chan follows you into the living room. Staring at you, he takes a deep breath. You’ve never done this before. You’ve never agreed to just have casual sex with a friend. You fidget with the bottom of your sweater. You’re not sure who is supposed to make the first move. How exactly was this supposed to work?

“We don’t have to do this,” he says awkwardly. He can’t tell how nervous you are.

“I want this. I haven’t had sex in too long and I feel like it will help relieve some stress.”

He steps closer to you. He hesitates for a moment before pushing a piece of hair behind your ear. “It’s been pretty long for me too.”

“You know you have girls always trying to get with you right?” You try not to laugh thinking about all the girls who attempt to flirt with him. You’ve seen too many girls attempt to get his attention when you go out with your friends.

Shrugging he says, “I don’t feel like having sex with random girls.”

You can’t seem to ignore the nervous feeling in your stomach that’s bubbling. Looking up at Chan you notice his cheeks are flushed slightly. He must be as nervous as you. This whole situation is so strange, never in your wildest dreams did you think you would be going over to Chan to have sex with him. The fact that Seungmin dumb comment about you needing to get laid led to you riding over to Chan apartment is crazy.

“How do we even start this?” you felt like an awkward teen about to lose your virginity.

“We could start by kissing,” he steps closer to you.

Nodding your head you agree that kissing would be a good place to start this. Maybe that would help calm your nerves.

He rests his hand on your cheek ever so gently and stares into your eyes. He licks his bottom lip before leaning in and pressing his lips to yours. A warm feeling spread through your body as your lips moved together. One of his hands stayed on your cheek while the other gripped your hip holding you close. The whole time your lips moved together you couldn’t help but overthink everything. You were enjoying the feeling of his lips against yours, but you wondered if he was enjoying it too.

With his lips ghosting yours he whispers, “stop over thinking everything.”

Your eyes snap open and you step back from him. You stare at him with your mouth open, unsure of what to even say.

“Stop overthinking everything. Just let go and enjoy yourself. I’m going to make it my mission to force you to relax tonight,” he leans in to press his lips to your jaw. He places a trail of gentle nips across your skin.

“Okay.”

He presses his lips to yours again and you relax against his touch. His hands run up and down your sides as your lips dance. Wrapping your arms around his neck you pull him close to you. Opening your mouth he slides his tongue against yours.

He pulls away wearing a smile. His hands reach for the end of your sweater. He pauses while he waits for your consent. You nod your head silently.

He removes all your clothes leaving you naked in front of him. You stand there watching as he removes his own clothes.

His body is something to be admired. He has probably the best abs you’ve ever seen. Without even thinking you lean forward and run your fingers across his tone stomach. He watches you intently. He wants this whole night to be about helping you find a release. He wants you to enjoy yourself.

Silently he drops to his knees in front of you. His hands run up your thighs. He moves your thighs so he’s sitting between your legs. His eyes are locked on your already wet core. He’s managed to get you worked up with just the idea of what is going to happen and by the heated kiss you shared.

He runs two fingers through your folds as he presses a kiss to the top of your mound. You whimper in anticipation. His thumb brushes your clit for a moment before he moves his fingers to your entrance. He thrust his finger into your tight wall. His tongue laps at your clit as he pumps one finger inside you.

“You’re so tight,” he groans against your core. He dips another finger in you helping stretch you out. He curls his fingers inside you, touching just the right area. You tangle your fingers in his hair. Closing your eyes you tilt your head back, closing your eyes. You’re so close to finding your release.

“Chh… Chan I’m so… close,” you’re a complete whimpering mess.

He picks up his pace knowing you’re so close. He doesn’t stop until you find your release. The warm wave washes over you. You cry out his name loudly. He pulls away sitting on his hunches looking up at you with a proud smile.

“That was amazing,” you say with your chest rising and falling quickly.

He stands up and leans forward to kiss you. You taste yourself on your lips and you can’t lie it turns you on. Your eyes travel down his body to see that he’s already extremely hard and you haven’t even touched him.

“Let me get a condom.”

He jogs off to his bedroom and comes back rolling the rubber down his hardened length. He stops in front of you and leans in for another kiss. You wished that all those months ago you would have dared to kiss him. You can’t believe you’ve gone this far in your life never knowing the feel of Chan’s lips against yours.

“Can you bend over the back of the couch?” He pulls away asking.

You nod and look over at the leather couch. You follow his lead and walk over to the couch. Bending you over the couch he kissed down your spine. His hand grip your hips tightly. You take a deep breath and look over at your shoulder to see his lust filled eyes staring at you.

“Are you ready?” He grinds his hips against yours slowly.

“Yeah.”

He slides his length between your folds before pushing into you extremely slowly. His hands never leave your hips as he pushes his way in. The feeling of him stretching you is overwhelming. You grip the back of the couch as a gasp passes your lips. He stills is giving you time to adjust.

His chest is rising and falling as he tries to remain calm. “You’re really tight,'' he says with baited breath.

It’s probably been too long since you had sex and you know you need to relax more. “Spread your legs a little,” he puts his foot next to one of yours and gently nudges it. You silently follow his command. One of his hands leaves your hips and he slowly drags it down your spine. His touch feels like electricity running through your veins.

“Sweetheart just relax,” his voice is low and calming.

Taking a deep breath you try your hardest to relax. Sex is supposed to be fun. You aren’t supposed to stress about the problems in your life while probably the most handsome man you’ll ever meet is literally inside you. You nod your head and rest your face against the cool leather sofa.

His hand slowly rubs your back helping you relax. “Did you want to stop? I’m not going to be upset if you want to walk now or at any time during this.”

Lifting your head you look over your shoulder with a shocked look on your face. “I want this. I’m trying to stop overthinking everything,” you explained.

“Can I move?”

“Yes please.”

He leans forward kissing your shoulder before he pulls his hips back. Be pushed back into you, setting a slow pace. With each thrust he fills you completely. You can’t help the low whimpers that pass your lips with each roll of his hips.

The room is filled with the sounds of skin hitting skin, and his low moans, and your soft whimpers. His hands are back to gripping your hips. Everytime he thrust into you, he pushed away the thoughts of the outside world. You try your hardest to get lost in his touch. His pace picks up slowly. His grip on you never falters. Your name has never sounded as beautiful as it does being moaned by him. Dropping your face into the couch you moan his name.

He leans over your body, having one of his hands at your core. His fingers quickly find your swollen bundle of nerves. He brushes it quickly as he’s helping you chase your release.

“Chan,” you whine.

Wet kisses are being placed across the back of your neck. You can’t hold your eyes open, the feeling of the coil in your stomach tightens, almost becoming too much to handle.

He snaps his hips into yours over and over again. You aren’t exactly sure how long you’ve been pushed up against this couch, but you won’t complain. Nobody has ever made you feel the way Chan is. He seems to know exactly how your body ticks. His fingers don’t leave your clit as he whispers encouraging words into your ear.

“Sweetheart, you can go ahead and cum for me.”

You’ve never wanted to come so badly in your life. Pushing your hips up angling them just right Chan is hitting a new area that causes a loud gasp to pass your lips.

“Chan,” you whimper, reaching back for his hand. You need to hold on to him desperately as you’re so close to finding your release.

“I want to see you when you come, pretty,” he says, stalling in you.

Your eyes grow wide confused on why he’s stopped moving. He pulls out of you and reaches out for you. He picks you up and places you on the couch. Laying there on his couch you watch as he moves so he’s hovering over you. He settles between your legs and pushes into you.

“You’re so pretty. I want to see your pretty face when you cum,” his sweet words.

“Chan,” you whimper.

One hand grips his shoulder while the other tangles in his hair. His nose is resting on yours. His pretty lips are parted and low moans pass his lips.

“Kiss me,” you say. You desperately want to feel his lips on yours. His lips crashed against your. The kiss is sloppy and lust filled but you can’t seem to get enough.

Your legs wrap around his waist holding him close. His thrust have slowed as your lips move together.

“Just let go,” he says with his lips ghosting yours.

His command is all that it takes to push you over the edge. The warmth spreads throughout your body as your walls pull on him. You moan into his lips. Your body feels like a live wire. He rolls his hips into you over and over before finally finding his own release.

He stills with his chest rising and falling. He leans forward pressing his face into the crook of your neck. You wrap your arms around his back holding him close as he lays on top of you for a moment. His body weight gives you a sense of comfort. Laying there with Chan in your arms this is the most relaxed you’ve felt in a long time.

He lifts himself up and looks down at you. He pushes away your hair that’s stuck to your face.

“Sorry if I was crushing you.”

A soft laugh passes your lips. He’s so sweet and even post sex he’s still so caring.

“You aren’t crushing me,” you reach up resting your hand on his strong jaw.

He pulls away from you and stands up. You can’t help but watch his naked body walk away to toss his used condom. He comes back to you not even seeming slightly embarrassed that he’s strutting around naked. That probably has to do with his beautiful body, and his amazing abs.

Sitting up you pull your legs into your chest feeling suddenly weird that you're just sitting on the couch completely naked. He sits down on the couch next to you and rests his hand on your knee. He smiles before leaning forward and pressing his lips to yours for a sweet kiss. It was the exact opposit of the last lust fueled kiss you shared.

“You’re so pretty,” he rested his nose against yours.

“Chan, thank you.”

“Did you enjoy it,” you couldn’t believe that he was asking if you just enjoyed the best sex you’ve ever experienced.

You let out a little laugh and nod your head.

“Is it awkward if I ask you to stay the night? I don’t see this as a onel night stand type thing. I would like to spend more time with you.”

He’s a little nervous that you will say no. Chan wants to get to know you even more. He wants you to let your walls down around him. He also just wants your company.

“Are you sure you want me to stay?” You couldn’t believe he was asking you to stay.

“Yeah of course I want you to stay.”

Neither of you bother to put any clothes on. Chan takes your hand and leads you off to his room. His bedroom is somewhere you’ve never seen before. The walls are a bright white and he has a queen size bed under a window that looks out onto the city. He pulls his curtains closed not seeming to care that he’s naked. You crawl onto his bed and pull the blankets back. He lays down next to you and wastes no time pulling you close to his body. Your head rests on his chest as he holds you close. In all your life you had only slept in a man's bed a handful of times. All your ex boyfriends and flames never seemed to hold you like Chan is though.

“Did that help relieve some of your stress?” he asked softly.

“Yeah it did.”

Just being around Chan seems to relax you. This is the first time in the longest time you feel at ease. You aren’t worried about everything going on. You know tomorrow will be a stressful day when your mom asks about where you were overnight, but right now you don’t have to worry about that.

“Thank you for tonight.”

“I told you I want to be here for you, and I’ll be here for you mentally and physically,” his hand rubs your side. “I have tomorrow off. Did you maybe want to get lunch together and hang out?”

You literally spent the whole time you were at Felix’s together and then left with him to have sex. Chan seemed like he couldn’t get enough of you, and you can’t complain. It feels nice to finally be wanted.

“I’ll have to go home and change and check in with my mom, but yeah I’ll get lunch with you.”

A night spent in Chan’s arms is one of the best night's sleep you've gotten in a long time.

*

Bright morning light shining through the thin curtains woke you up. A yawn passes your lips as you stretch out your sore body. The bed feels cold next to you. You look over to see Chan isn’t in bed. A panicked feeling starts in your chest. Maybe this was a sign that he wanted you to leave. Hoping out of bed quickly you look around the room realizing you walked into his room naked. Looking on the dresser you see a pile of your clothes neatly folded. Chan must have gathered your clothes this morning. Walking towards the dresser you see the master bathroom door is shut with the light peaking out from the bottom. You aren’t sure if Chan is in there but you don’t want to find out. You quickly put your bra and underwear on. As you start pulling on your legging the bathroom door opens and Chan walks out a pair of boxer briefs while he runs a towel through his damp hair. The moment his eyes lock on you, you completely freeze like a child caught with their hand in the cookie jar.

“Why do you look like you’re running away?” He asks, tossing his towel in the hamper next to the door.

“I thought you would want me to leave,” you say awkwardly.

“Why would I want you to leave?” Chan doesn’t understand what he did or said that could possibly make you think he wanted you to leave.

“I don’t know.”

“I planned on us grabbing lunch. I actually wanted to spend more time with you.” He wasn’t lying to you yesterday when he said he wanted to be there for you.

“Oh,” you’re caught off guard by him actually wanting to spend time with you.

He steps towards you stopping right in front of you. He places his hand right under your chin lifting it so you’re looking into his dark eyes. He licks his bottom lip before saying, “you can relax around me. You don’t have to try to act happy. Let your walls down and try to trust me.” He so desperately wants for you to trust him like you do Felix.

You open your mouth to speak but nothing comes out. You aren’t sure of what to say to him. Leaning down he presses his lips softly to your forehead.

“Did you maybe want some coffee before you run away from me?”

You nod your head silently.

Stepping away from you Chan reaches into his dresser and pulls out a pair of jeans and pulls them on. He doesn’t bother putting a shirt on. You take this time to pull back on your sweater so you aren’t standing around in your bra and a pair of leggings. He takes your hand ever so casually and leads you out into the kitchen. You can’t help but smile that he’s already made coffee.

Reaching into the cupboard he pulls out two coffee cups. He sits down on the counter in front of you. He walks over to the fridge pulling out a carton of cream. Handing it to you, you pour a little into your coffee before handing it back.

There is a comfortable silence between the two of you as you sip on your coffee. There’s something about being around Chan that’s comforting.

Holding his cup close to his chest he watches you carefully. You seem more at ease and it makes him happy.

“What do you want for lunch?” he asks.

“How does ramen sound?” you ask, knowing there are a million places near to get good ramen.

“Sounds good to me.”

After finishing your cup of coffee you follow Chan back to his room so he can get dressed. Sitting on his bed you scroll through your phone to see a text from your mom and one from Felix.

Your moms text read, “I’m assuming you stayed at Felix.”

While Felix read, “were you okay after last night?” Your best friend knows you well and could tell that you had a rough day.

You send him a quick message saying that you’re okay that talking to Chan helped a lot.

Chan stood in front of you in a sweater with his tight jeans and pair of vans. He smiled at you and you couldn’t help but smile back.

Once again he takes your hand leading you out of his apartment.

Standing in front of his motorcycle you’re at a loss for words. You were well aware he owned a motorcycle, but you hadn’t ever ridden on it. He holds his spare helmet out for you sporting a grin.

“I’ve never ridden on a motorcycle,” you say.

“Are you okay if we take this?” He’s unsure if this is a good idea. You seem so unsure staring at his motorcycle.

“Okay we can take this,” you reach out to take the helmet. He steps closer to you and helps up on your helmet and buckles it.

He gets on the motorcycle and reaches his hand out signaling for him to join him. Climbing on you wastes no time wrapping your arms around him. He starts the bike and heads out onto the main road. You hold on to him tightly.

There’s something about the way you hold him that makes his heart flutter a little. For the longest he wished he could gain your trust. He couldn’t help but be jealous of your friendship you shared with Felix. Sure you and Chan had always been friends, but you always had a wall up around him. You never fully let anyone in other than Felix.

Pulling up to your house, shut the motorcycle off and you quickly climb off.

“Did you want me to wait here?” Chan asks.

Your stomach twists at the idea of having to explain to your grandma who Chan is.

“Yes please if you don’t mind. My grandmother isn’t great with people she doesn’t know.”

“Okay that’s fine. I’ll be here, take your time,” he takes the helmet you had been wearing.

Rushing into the house you find your mom standing in the kitchen holding a cup of coffee.

“YN are you okay?” She asks, stopping you dead in your tracks.

“Yeah.”

She knits her eyebrows together, studying you, “why are you rushing.”

“My friend is taking me out to lunch,” you say.

“Who?” She’s being nosy like she normally is.

“Chan.”

Her eyebrow raises as she slowly smiles, “the handsome man that works at the bank?”

Of course your mom remembers Chan's job, and that he’s attractive.

“Yes.”

“Well have fun,” she smiles before taking another sip of her coffee.

Rushing off to your room you start stripping away your clothes. You toss your dirty clothes in your hamper before grabbing a pair of jeans and tugging them on. Reaching into your dresser you pull out a black and white sweater. Heading off to the bathroom you brush your teeth and wash your face.

You practically run out of the house attempting to avoid your mom. Walking outside you find Chan leaning against his motorcycle scrolling through his phone.

He looks up and smiles at you. Handing you a helmet you put it on and he helps you buckle it.

Crawling onto the back of the bike you wrap your arms around him holding your body close to his. He starts driving down the street and you suddenly feel so relaxed as you hold him. There’s something about him that is just so comforting to you.

Arriving at one of your favorite ramen places Chan turns off his bike and he helps you off. He takes your hand immediately. Chan knows you’re shy and a little more guarded, but he doesn’t give you a chance to put up a wall. He holds your hand like it’s the most natural thing in the whole world.

Walking up to the table he holds out your chair for you. This suddenly feels like a date and you get a nervous feeling in your stomach. You aren’t sure why you get so nervous at the thought of being on a date with Chan. He’s literally the most perfect man you’ve ever met, and you’ve already had sex with him. Yet you can’t seem to push away this nervous feeling.

“Why do you want to spend time with me?” you ask after ordering.

Tilting his head he knits his eyebrows together, “because I like spending time with you. I know it seems like it’s coming out of left field, but YN I like you.”

You can’t believe he just said he liked you. You blink rapidly and just stare at them. How do you even respond to him?

“You like me?”

A half smile forms on his lips, “you’re a beautiful girl, you’re kind, and you have an amazing heart.”

“Oh.”

“I’m not asking you to suddenly be my girlfriend. I want to spend time with you, I want to be your friend. I want to be someone you feel like you can trust enough to talk to about the things you’re going through,” reaching out he takes your hand in his. He rubs his thumb across the palm of your hand. His touch instantly relaxed you.

“Chan, I'm a mess. I’m not easy to be with. I feel bad Felix has to deal with me half the time.”

He squeezes your hand gently, “stop, I’m not asking you to give me anything here. I’ll just be your friend if anything, but I want you to know how I feel.”

Before you can say anything the waiter walks over and puts your bowls of ramen on the table in front of you.

Staring at the steaming bowl of soup you’re still trying to process everything Chan just said to you.

“Please say something,” he says.

“I want to get to know you more. I also want to spend more time with you.”

A large smile spreads across his face as he grabs a pair of chopsticks.

He spends the rest of lunch answering questions about himself. In the last twenty-four hours you’ve talked about yourself enough. You want to know more about the man who seems extremely interested in spending more time with you.

When the waiter brings over the check Chan hands him this card without even looking at the check. You tell him thank you. You didn’t expect him to pay for you.

Arriving at your house you hop off the bike, and before you can walk away Chan reaches out and grabs your wrist. He turns you so you're facing him. He raises his eyebrow and tugs you closer to him.

“I’m serious about wanting to spend time with you,” he knows he is putting himself on the line right now, but he knows he needs to. “Please give me a shot here. Let me be there for you.”

“Okay,” you say softly.

He leans in close to you and presses his lips to your cheek for a soft kiss. You can help but smile as he pulls away.

“I’ll text you.”

He rides off and you’re left with your head feeling as if it’s swimming. The overwhelming feeling that he’s interested in you makes your head spin. You aren’t sure why anyone as perfect as him could be interested in you.

Everything’s a blur as you walk into your room you lay down staring at the ceiling. Chan sweet words play over and over in your ears. Closing your eyes you could picture his soft smile.

You aren’t sure how long you were laying there when your door opened. Looking at the door you find Felix standing in your room.

Throwing himself onto your queen size bed you can’t help but smile at Felix. His eyes are narrowed in on you.

“So what’s going on with Chan?” He didn’t bother asking anything else. He just jumped straight to the point.

Glancing at him from the corners of your eyes you find him staring at you.

“Nothing,” you lied. There was clearing something going on with Chan, but you just weren’t exactly sure.

“Then why didn’t you come home last night?” He smirks at you. It’s extremely clear he knows you were with Chan.

“Lee Felix, what do you know?” Sitting up quickly you grab a pillow holding it on your lap.

“Well your mother asked me when I walked in how our sleepover was. Like we’re teenagers again.”

Your eyes grow wide at the fact your mother asked Felix about you staying over.

“Please tell me you lied to her.”

He reaches up grabbing the pillow from your lap, “of course I lied.”

“Thank you.”

“Did you stay at Chan last night?”

Biting your lip you contemplate lying. You don’t want him asking details about what happened, but you can’t lie to him.

“Yeah I stayed with him.”

“What happened there?” he sits up.

“Lix,” a heavy sigh passes your lips. You know you can’t hide the details from him anymore.

“Just tell me. I’m not gonna judge you,” he’s sitting on your bed with his legs crossed.

“We had sex,” you sigh.

“I knew it,” he almost shouts.

Shaking your head you try to push away your embarrassment. You never shared anything about your sex life.

“How did that even happen?” Felix knew that you were friends, but he didn’t know that you were nearly close enough with Chan to have sex with him.

“We spent the whole night just talking and stupid Seungmin made comments about us needing to get laid and somehow it got us having sex to relieve some stress,” you ramble on quickly.

He stares at you blinking and processes your statement. A smile tugs on his lips. Felix knows that Chan is a good guy and he won’t do anything to hurt you.

“Please say something,” you say softly, pulling your legs into your chest.

“I think you should give Chan a chance. He’s not gonna hurt you.”

“I’m a mess,” your eyes start to tear up.

“Give him a chance,” he puts his hand on your knee and looks into your eyes.

“I’ll try,” you say softly.

You spend the rest of the afternoon laying on your bed with your best friend. You move away from the subject of Chan which you’re thankful for. Eventually Felix convinces you to watch a movie with him. Your mom peaks her head asking Felix to stay for dinner. Your mother has loved Felix from the moment you met. Anytime Felix comes over to your mom to ask him to stay for dinner. Your grandmother also seems to love him. Even though she can’t always remember his name. She does remember she loves him. He always sits on the couch and will talk to her and tell her cute jokes. There’s a reason you’ve let your walls down around Felix. He’s just always seemed to be there by your side. You hope soon you can let your walls down around Chan as well.

Regarding taglist:

If you aren’t interacting with my writing outside of liking the new post I’m gonna have to remove your name from the taglist. You will also be removed if I try to tag you and your blog is listed as "invisible". If you've changed your URL and didn't let me know I will also be removing your name. I’m sorry for the inconvenience but my interactions outside or likes feels like it’s nonexistent right now. All of my taglist are still open though. If you request to be added to one via this form, I kindly ask for interactions in the form and feedback and reblogs. To be quite honest, those really encourage my writing.

[yoursweetwife]

Warning: fluff, female reader, soft Ratio, the reader has trouble sleeping, It is mentioned that the reader is smaller than Ratio !bad english!

The ticking of the clock was the only sound that could be heard in the dark room, the only light source of which was a table lamp that illuminated piles of various papers and stationery.

The man's hand confidently, as if according to a well-honed scheme, continues to move the pen across the paper, crossing out the wrong answers. A sigh of annoyance escapes from the lips of Ratio, because of another stupid mistake. Why did these people come to study at all if they can't solve the simplest equations?

Dropping the pen, he runs his hand through his hair and closes his eyes. Veritas almost began to reproach himself for underestimating the number of papers and other documents that he now has to deal with, which is why he decided to leave their verification for later. It usually didn't cause problems, but today was extremely exhausting, people kept causing problems, and now he can't even relax at home.

Veritas's thoughts darted to the women who was sleeping in their shared room right now. The only thing he wanted right now was to be in her arms, bury his nose in her soft hair and, after a short love conversation, forget himself until morning.

There were quiet footsteps behind him and it didn't take a genius to figure out whose they were. A slight smile appeared on the tired face as soft little hands closed Veritas' eyes.

"Guess who I am~"

Ratio resisted the urge to roll his eyes when he heard your mischievous but tired voice. It was clear that you had just woken up.

His hand covered yours.

"You keep acting naughty, even though it's clear from your voice that you're ready to fall off your feet at any moment."

A soft chuckle escaped your lips. You wrapped your arms around Veritas's neck and pulled him closer, pressing your smaller body against his and resting your chin on his broad shoulder.

"Then I need to sit down so that I don't fall down in the end."

You slowly walk around the chair and Ratio, taking the hint, leaned back in his chair, giving you the opportunity to sit on his lap. If, before his relationship with you, Veritas had been told that this pose would become his favorite, he would have started to deny it with disgust, but now he lets you choose the most comfortable position for the next two hours without resistance.

You pressed your cheek against his hard chest, wrapped your arms around his waist, and closed your eyes. One of his hands gently stroked your waist. Suddenly you wanted to sleep again, it was so peaceful in his arms.

"Am I bothering you?"

"Don't worry about me, I'm more concerned about your condition tomorrow."

The pure concern in his voice made your heart beat a little faster. You've been having trouble sleeping lately, which has made it impossible for you to work properly, but the presence of Ratio helped you, which is why he waited until you fell asleep to finish the paperwork.

"Then why don't you finish your work tomorrow and go to bed instead?"

Ratio shook his head. He hates leaving work unfinished.

"You already know my answer, - Veritas picked up the pen again and looked at you. - so you'd better go back to bed."

Your mind was telling you to listen to your lover's advice, but you didn't want to leave your comfortable position, besides, the desire to be next to Ratio in order to continue feeling this warmth overcame any thoughts.

Therefore, you made the only right decision, snuggled closer, making a sad mumble, as if you were offended by this proposal.

Ratio sighed irritably, but smiled anyway. Your unwillingness to take care of yourself put him in a stupor. Of course, you both have a stressful job, but Veritas was able to find a way out of even such a situation, while you had to follow a strict regime for normal functioning.

"Very well, just don't complain about feeling unwell in the morning, I'm not going to replace your lessons. Again."

It was exaggerated, you missed work three times this year, but who could blame Veritas for being too dramatic. Definitely not you.

"You say that every time, but you keep breaking that promise."

You started playing with Veritas's soft hair while continuing to watch his focused face. From your position, it was difficult to capture all his emotions, but you can still see a slight redness on his pale skin.

"I usually have no choice because others refuse to take extra hours."

"I'm ninety-nine percent sure that you asked for the students yourself. Just admit that you like to see the disappointed faces of the students every time you walk into the classroom with another test."

Ratio snorted and hit your hip, making you flinch in sudden pain.

"You better stop distracting me if you want me to finish faster. I've spent too much time on useless conversations."

He didn’t even flinch when he heard your offended sigh. Despite this, you continued to touch his face, running your cold fingers over the hot skin of his neck and chest, hoping to attract attention to you.

Ratio was surprisingly quiet, preferring to leave your actions without comment. Perhaps he noticed how your eyelids were starting to get heavy and thus wanted to speed up the process?

"Hey don't ignore me..."

A relentless weakness spread throughout his body, the sounds of the room and Veritas's steady heartbeat in tandem creating a sweet lullaby that fogged your brain. Golden eyes met your clouded eyes for a moment, although it was hard to tell if it was just your imagination.

As soon as your body relaxed, Veritas realized that you had fallen asleep. He stopped writing and focused his attention back on you. You looked too fragile in your thin nightie, it reminded him of your first night together, after which your relationship changed forever.

He tucked the hair that had fallen onto your face behind your ear and kissed the top of your head.

You're lucky that Veritas loves you enough to ignore your stupid antics, which he probably likes a little more than he admits.

[crypticminx]

Enemies to lovers au ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

Felix Catton was a popular student body that seemed so utterly artificial to you.

From his lean, supermodel like body to his outrageous facial piercing and even his ridiculously expensive clothes—everything seemed to irk you to no end.

Even the man’s whole life and every teeny bit of information you heard from gossip sounded like something that sprung from an unrealistic movie.

What made it even worse was his attitude, one that wasn’t too far off from the cocky cliche types you had no patience for in high school.

While you would sit and mind your own business, your mind attentively focused on the information in your textbook, you’d see him happily stroll on by—his hand always intertwined with a girls, of course. It almost infuriated you how those girls would chase him around like love sick puppies, a poor character trait on their part.

There were so many other men on campus, but only one Felix and that was the problem.

Felix this and Felix that, couldn’t you escape him for just one second?

It appeared not, as when you found yourself smoking a cigarette to escape the party filled atmosphere for a quick minute on the balcony of a flat, which belonged to someone’s name you didn’t even know, in walked the man himself.

“Got a light?” he asked you, interrupting the peace that was supposed to be your only moment of freedom from the obnoxious drunks inside.

Taking a minute to observe his flushed face, a result of one too many beers, you hesitantly handed your lighter to him after fetching it from your purse.

“Thanks,” he mumbled, taking a few clumsy seconds to light the cigarette poking through his lips.

In perfect unison, you both painfully stood in silence, keeping your distance from each other as nicotine would slowly trail down both yours and his throat and release with each exhale. The two of you creating quite the cloud of foggy smoke.

“I’ve seen you around, y’kno,” he took a small drag, gently tapping off the ash growing on his cigarette.

If this was his way of starting a conversation as an attempt to bring you home with him, he was doing a miserable job.

“I’ve seen you too,” you replied, sounding disinterested as you continued to face the distance ahead as opposed to Felix.

“Always got your head in a book, drinking beer by yourself,” he slowly dragged his feet as he circled around you. “…giving me dirty looks whenever you have the chance.” You couldn’t see it, but you knew he had to be sporting one hell of an arrogant grin.

No, he wasn’t trying to take you home, he was flat out insulting you.

Rolling your eyes with a disdainful expression, you tossed the remaining cigarette to the stone cold ground, crushing its entirety in one stomp.

Okay, if he wanted to play this game, so be it.

“What’s your point,” you questioned him with hostility, feeling your blood boil when his face was sporting the exact look you pictured it to.

“My point is,” he swallowed, his structured jaw clenching, “even with all the drinking I’ve done, I can sense you don’t like me.”

You found it comical, not even ten minutes with him and he was getting to all the nitty gritty. You absolutely pitted any girl who spent more than twenty minutes with him. you could probably name a few.

“And do I need to like you, Felix?” You inched yourself closer to him, not caring if you crossed some sort of stupid boundary that was created between the two of you.

“No no, of course not darling,” he shook his head while you cringed at the subtle name calling. “But nobody likes a bitch.”

Oh, he was a fucking piece of—

“However, you’re the fine exception.”

Your eyes squinted with confusion, finding yourself surprised that you weren’t about the cuss the tall man out. Instead, pure tranquility roamed through your composure as your mouth didn’t budge.

“What if I kissed you?” He interrogated you, his voice was loud and serious, not one ounce of alcohol collided with his system to say the things that flew out of him. “Would you still dislike me then?”

“Excuse me?” You aggressively spat out, starting to feel more frustrated than full of your previous rage.

“I said, what if I—“

“I heard you!” you profoundly interrupted him, coming to your senses that all your douchey assumptions about him were right.

“Wait,” he called out, almost sounding desperate like he had some good point to be made.

You refused to let this silly conversation continue for any second longer. Dashing straight for the the door, but one swift tap of your shoulder and suddenly you found your back against the brick wall and Felix’s lean arms alarmingly barricading you from exiting.

“I also know that you’ve got the highest grade in our lit class.”

Great, so he was gonna make some joke out of that too.

“And when I read your work that was on display, I found myself in love with how beautiful your writing was.”

It was a simple assignment. A poem based on a classic Shakespeare play, you just happened to have chose a midnight summers dream. Felix’s favourite.

“You….,” confused eyes scanned him up and down as you tried to picture him reading any sort of literature, “like poetry?”

“I like pretty girls who can write,” he flashed a confident smirk before his body mindlessly pushed him to do something he hopefully wouldn’t regret.

He leaned his tall frame down to the perfect level of letting his lips slowly embrace yours. The second you felt the softness from them, you wanted to pull away with all your might, but a weak part of you felt curiosity win you over.

As his tongue danced away with yours in circles upon circles, the taste didn’t stench of alcohol. Instead there was some sort of sweetness to it, something that made it all seem worthwhile.

Closing your eyes in an amused way of defeat, you savoured the moment from the long kiss. Soaking up his touch that maybe felt too alluring once his hands smoothly made way to your hips. You could feel the ambience of enjoyment twinkling it’s way in the air and you wondered how the hell you got here.

Felix was as good of a kisser as he was an asshole.

Breaking free from a passionate kiss turned make-out, you witnessed a side of Felix that almost made every negative aspect of him vanish from the depths of your mind. You trailed back to the very feeling that was his lips on yours and you wanted to possibly continue as you noticed Felix looked just as stunned as you.

Until—

“Felix, mate,” a man with piercing blue eyes and dark locks popped his head out the door, looking at the two of you dusting yourselves off while trying hide your sheer content that sprouted in the form of rosy cheeks. Luckily, his pal didn’t seem to pay any sort of mind. After all, this was typical Felix behaviour.

“Been looking for ya, get your ass inside and have a shot with me!”

“Duty calls,” Felix whispered in your ear, holding your soft hand for a quick second before letting go, even though it was clear he didn’t want to.

As he was about to part ways from you, he stopped before he turned to you for one last time before the two of you would go your separate ways into the long night ahead.

“See you around, if you’re not too busy with all your books.” He blew you a cheesy kiss.

You didn’t say anything to his antics, instead you tossed him your final smile, while on the inside, you were squealing with foreign joy.

Fetching another cigarette to help you process what just happened, maybe he wasn’t so bad after all…

[la2yn0va]

lf you have the time to make part 4 of friends after the events of part 2 stellaron hunter m/n take a break so he go to xianzhou to see the event ( moze,jiaoqiu,any chance feixiao saw then and go to he friendly enough to talk them) image feixiao saw m/n watching her.fighting hoolay and joined her and fight along side any characters of your choice

BTW you will have finished it I don't know what happened next BC I will have a break to HSR so yeah I WANT FLUFF AND ANGST (oh boy this one will be different)

Friends…?

Note: 2.5 is out, I can finally do this! This can be taken as romantic or Platonic.

———

Kafka: M/n~

M/n: Kafka.

The two greeted each other. M/n cracked his neck and walked over to her.

M/n: So what’s happening? Was firefly talking shit again?

Kafka: Hah. Since when did firefly ever do such things? Are you still held up about our little ‘bounty’ competition?

M/n: Your god damn right I am! She came in outta NOWHERE and took my place as the second most dangerous stellaron hunter! Fuck that! She used a whole as fucking mech suit to do that!

Kafka watched, with an amused smile. It’s always a joy to see m/n rant on about this like an irritated child. She let him talk for a bit more, before patting his face.

Kafka: Now now. As much as I’m enjoying this, I’m afraid you have a mission~

M/n: Hah? I do?

Kafka nodded

M/n: FUCK!

He flicked his body around, walking around before stopping and taking a breath.

M/n: Come on! I had to take care of that little trailblazer in belabog and the xianzhou abit before it was reveled I was a stellaron..— WHATEVER—! Sigh, what’s the mission?

Kafka: Similar to fireflies mission in penacony. You’re going back to the xianzhou. Elio has seen that you must find something there. That and, you must lend a helping hand when the problem comes.

M/n: Back to the xianzhou? and I have to find something…is it something internal like firefly…when do I leave?

Kafka: You have 5 minutes before wolfie teleports you somewhere safe at the luofu. Put on your best outfit, handsome.

She waved before walking out of his room. M/n stood there for a minute before sighing.

M/n: Firefly found something at penacony, and now me… is Elio trying to heal us or something? No… we have nothing to lose anyway… why would destiny bother with that?

-Timeskip-

M/n had been at the xianzhou for not even 2 hours and shit had already hit the fan. Guess that’s the xianzhou specialty nowadays. M/n had been walking around, rooftop to rooftop, trying to find anything.

He did see the nameless and played around with them for a bit, before leaving. And now, hoolay had escaped and his friend jiaoqiu had been captured as hostage.

M/n cursed at the whole situation. A part of him still was a cloud knight, seeing everything go to shit had stung him, but it wasn’t what bothered him. Honesty, the whole luofu could get destroyed and he wouldn’t care. But the borisin have his friend!

As he was searching for him, many unpleasant memories came rushing back to him. How he left the yaoqing, how he joined the stellaron hunters to revert himself back to how he was before he was forced to face an identity and internal crisis after meeting his ‘o so great mother’ how he regretted the way he left, but ultimately he accepted all this.

He eventually came across moze, trailblazer, and feixiao. He stopped, seeing how injured Moze was and listened in to their conversation, learning that hoolay was headed to the ship where the war dance was being held.

He immediately headed there, managing to jump his way up there. He quickly searched the entire ship, finding some borisin and killing then off after asking for jiaoqiu’s location. Apparently only hoolay knew. Much to his annoyance and slight excitement. He felt the ship shake and immediately sped up to the arena, seeing feixiao face off with hoolay.

He watched silently. Should he help? Why should he…?! It was HER fault why Jiaoqiu got kidnapped in the first place…. No.. no he’s just being childish. He jumped up and landed a diving kick onto the warheads jaw, having enough strength and rage to break his jaw.

Feixiao, March, Yanqing, and yunli watched in pure shock. Stellaron hunter m/n was here! But he was helping them!? M/n didn’t face them yet, he landed on the ground before turning around and slamming a fist onto hoolay’s chest, pushing him away from them.

March & Feixiao: M-M/n!?

Yunli & Yanqing: Stellaron hunter!?

M/n: I see I’m famous

He joked turning to face them, well mostly feixiao. Walking towards her, she clicked her tongue before getting ready to fight.

M/n: Your pointing that at the wrong person.

Feixiao: What’re you doing here!

M/n: Tsk. You see me after our little meeting in the interrogation room and this is how you react? Typical. I’m here to help fix YOUR fuck up.

Feixiao: M-my.. what’re you—

M/n: Jiaoqiu is captured. So point your damn blade at that mutt over there!

He stood besides her, talking out his own dual blades. Feixiao could only stare in surprise. She knew that m/n’s meant to make her feel guilty for Jiaoqiu, which worked, but… she can’t help but feel happy that he’s here, fighting along side her once more.

Feixiao: Fine.

March, Yunli, Yanqing: WHAT!!?

M/n: You three are still here?

Feixiao: Relax. Right now we have a common enemy. And that’s hoolay. We’ll deal with the m/n situation later!

M/n: Glad you care about me THAT much!

He bit back as feixiao smiled. Hoolay roared and ran towards the duo as they dashed in. The two began to bombard hoolay, their old teamwork slowly reviving and putting on a show for anyone who watched.

Feixiao couldn’t help but have a smile carved in her face. What was meant to be an emotional turmoil for her was quelled with m/n’s presence here. Just like back then. How it should’ve been, how it SHOULD be.

Hoolay was quickly defeated, but then ripped his heart out and threw it in the sky, infecting foxian’s with moon rage. Feixiao however, used her power to swallow the crimson moon, becoming the enemy. The trio swordsmaters wanted to help. But m/n refused, out right kicking them down to the luofu, leaving the arena with only HIM and feixiao.

-Inside Feixiao’s Mind-

Hoolay: Ahh.. that man. M/n? Possibly your biggest regret.

Hoolay teased as an imagine if a confused and crying m/n appeared in front of him and feixiao. Feixiao’s eyes widened as she stared at this afterimage.

M/n: I hate this… why do I even care!? Why should I care!!? I DONT GET IT!! WHAT THE HELL AM I MEANT TO FELL HERE!! AM I EVEN HUMAN!!? HELP!! WOULD SOMEONE JUST… HELP!!

It yelled, making feixiao wince at the sight and hoolay laugh.

Hoolay: The “lacking” general. Lacking in worries, regrets, and rivals! Hahahaha!! What a pathetic front! This one man destroys that foolish title of yours!

Another afterimagine appeared, showing m/n standing ontop of corpses of abominations and borisin, His eyes looked dead, his body limp.

Hoolay: Instead of helping your ‘friend’ you sent him off to fight in a war! And that’s when he realized how you truly felt about him! You only ever saw him as a soilder!

Feixiao’s eyes stung as she walked up to the afterimagine. Which changed to make its head stare ahead, right where Feixiao stood.

Hoolay: A capable warrior indeed! A powerful solider that was meant to be used by their superior! A remarkable weapon! That’s all you ever saw him as. And he knows it!

M/n: I’m…not even human. When have I ever been… even to the cloud knights. I’m just a pawn, a dog meant to die when they order me to… even SHE sees me as a dog…

Feixiao reached out, putting her and on his face as her saddened eyes stared into his dead ones as hoolay continued to torment her.

Hoolay: You only ever comforted him once, and you made it clear that you just wanted him at his best so he could battle!!

Feixiao: You were never a dog nor solider in my eyes.. your were ALWAYS my friend. You will forever be my closest friend… it’s me… I’m the one who saw myself as a weapon! You were always the only one that made me feel human!

She yelled, before slapping the afterimage away, once again ridding herself of the guilt she carried within herself for all these years. Hoolay didn’t seem pleased as a battle quickly escalated between her and a shadow of herself, the darkest parts of her.

As she held up her waraxe, two people appeared beside her. Two m/n’s from her own mindscape.

Evil!Feixiao: What?!

Feixiao: M/n…

Past M/n: You look troubled general~ don’t tell me that your scared I’ll take your general title~

Present m/n: Get your head together. You always pull me into your shit feixiao.

She looked at the two before smiling as the three got ready to battle hoolay.

-Timeskip, after the battle-

M/n groaned as he flopped against a wall of an alleyway. He finished his battle with feixiao and hoolay, and now he was tired, very tired. But, he didn’t let himself rest, he still needed to find jiaoqiu.

He had to escape from cloud knights and now was pushing himself to continue his search. He decided to head to the alchemy commission, to steal some ornaments. Once he arrived, he saw jiaoqiu! And he was walking!

He sighed in relief, knowing he can leave in peace. He took out his phone and messgaed silverwolf, ready to get teleported away. Only for her to replay “Elio said you still have some people to confront”

M/n: …fuck me…

He sighed before watching jiaoqiu walk towards the waves. He waited as feixiao walked to jiaoqiu and moze reveled himself, but he froze. Should he actually go out and talk to them? Does he have that right anymore?

Moze: Will you revel yourself.

Moze said as they all faced the direction where m/n was. M/n sighed, knowing he should’ve expected them to know he was here. He walked out, holding his side for a few seconds before facing them.

Moze: M/n..!

Jiaoqiu: What..!?

Moze said, shocked that it was him that was spying on them. Feixiao offered him a warm smile, and m/n looked back with slight irritation. Looking at jiaoqiu and his much duller eyes, showing m/n his blindness.

M/n:…I blame you.

He said looking at feixiao. Whose face twitched with guilt. Moze looked towards Feixiao, wondering if he should attack, but she shook her head.

Jiaoqiu: M/n..? Is that actually you…!

M/n:…yes.. it’s me—

M/n’s eyes shot open, seeing Jiaoqiu running towards his voice with a clenched fist. He raised his hand but stopped, deciding to not block it. He allowed jiaoqiu to hit him, actually feeling some blood drop from his nose.

Jiaoqiu: You have any idea how much I’ve wanted to do that…?

M/n slowly looked back, swiping the blood from his nose away with his thumb.

M/n: Yeah. Some level of idea.

He said moving his hand to ruffle his hair like he always did back then. Jiaoqiu allowed it to continue for a few seconds before slapping his hand away, not forgiving m/n.

M/n looked saddened by this but understood. He looked towards moze who looked indifferent of the whole situation, but m/n could see through moze. He was happy, and abit irritated m/n was here.

M/n: it is nice to see you again, Moze. Taking care of lil’ jiao for me?

Moze nodded and jiaoqiu looked away after hearing his old nickname. M/n looked towards feixiao. Looking abit more stoic.

M/n: general.

Her ears twitched at the title, shaking her head.

Feixiao: No please. Call me feixiao.

M/n:….feixiao.

He re-greeted, which earned a soft smile from her. M/n sighed, not knowing where to go from here.

M/n:…you all have something to say to me. So say it. I already checked the area. It’s just us here… let me have it.

Jiaoqiu: Your a selfish prick.

Moze: Your an Irrational fucking mongrel!

Feixiao: Your a reckless dumbass that doesn’t think of others first!

M/n, stayed still. Accepting the verbal insults. He crossed his arms and looked away, his mind still in abit of a frenzy. After about 10 minutes of verbal abuse, the three calmed down.

M/n: well…guess all that was warranted.

Jiaoqiu: You think?

Jiaoqiu bit back. M/n just sighed and responded with a ‘yes’

M/n:…well. I believe we’re done here.

He turned around but his hand was instantly caught by feixiao.

Feixiao: Wait!

M/n did as he was told. Standing still, he looked back to see feixiao and her pleading eyes, looking as if she’d die right there if he left.

M/n: what do you want general.

Feixiao:…I know.. you don’t like me. Back then. You came to me for help because you weren’t truly at all good with emotions. So when you met your—

M/n: skip the fucking recap.

Feixiao: Mm—…. I’m sorry. I’m sorry my actions that day, which left you even more in turmoil than you already were in. I’m sorry I was being a general and not a friend. I’m sorry I made you think you meant nothing to me… in truth you meant everything to me. You WERE everything. Not just to me, but to us.

She said, holding out an arm towards moze and jiaoqiu.

Feixiao: Please… tell me how I can fix this. There has to be a way. A solution! Please, tell me anything. I’ll do anything to prove how sorry I am.

M/n: oh? And what if I want your life.

Feixiao: Take it.

Jiaoqiu and moze released a slightly surprised sound, as m/n held his blade against her neck.

Feixiao: If that’s what it’ll take for you to forgive me. Then I’ll gladly die by your hands.

M/n:….tsk. No need to be serious…. I forgive you…

He said, putting his blade away. Feixiao looked surprised but smiled, allowing the most joyful smile ever to grace their eyes. M/n, released a breath, turning to leave.

M/n: I guess we’re don—

Feixiao: Can you stay longer!

M/n: huh..?

Feixiao: Can..can you come back! Stay with us. Become a cloud knight with us again!

She said desperately. Wanting to spread more time with him, as did moze and jiaoqiu. M/n looked away and scratched his hair.

M/n: i don’t think I—

He was cutoff by a notification from his phone, taking it out and seeing a message from… blade?

Blade: Kafka has informed me to message you. She said your mission was complete, I read your script. If you want another opinion, I’d suggest you either take your generals head, or work on fixing your relationship with them.

M/n: no fucking way he wasn’t manipulated into sending this message!!

He said in his mind, but sighing. Putting his phone away. He looked towards the three and walked back to them.

M/n: Lucky for you, I have time off… let’s..get a party going I guess.

He said, abit awkwardly. Feixiao smiled and jumped onto him, hugging him tightly, much to his surprise. Jiaoqiu also joined in while Moze simply patted m/n’s head.

Moze: Let’s get a move on. I haven’t cleaned your house today.

M/n: You’ve been cleaning my house this whole time!?

-The End-

[hanckocks-dagger]

Shake, rattle, and roll

masterlist

John Hancock x f!reader

Description: After three weeks on the road, you come home to Goodneighbor to find a sweet surprise from Hancock. Naturally, you fuck him about it. 

Tags: Such sappy smut guys, holy shit theyre in love, Hancock is a simp. Reader could be viewed as SoSu or not, no y/n, female anatomy

Warnings: smut! Pretty vanilla though, honestly, so nothing else to mention

Word count: 6K

Cross posted on my ao3

The last day of travel was always the worst; with the end goal in sight

The morning sun beat down on you, the trek from Lexington having seemed almost endless. There was only one thing on your mind as you marched over the Harvard bridge; Hancock's bed. You had the full intention of crawling right into it and staying there, comatose, for several days.

Of course, it wasn't quite that simple. You needed to unload the spare weapons you'd picked up, throw those to KL-E-0. You also had some things to drop at Daisy's, some things to pass on to Ham for the Third Rail...

You pulled your pack higher onto your shoulders, ignoring the ache of your back from the weight of it, all the junk you'd decided to ferry back with you. The straps of the bag were sure to leave deep, painful indents in your skin, almost permanently rubbed raw after weeks of travel.

Downtown, you skirted between Diamond City outposts, making your usual wide berth around the city itself. Despite being human and technically welcome inside the city, you'd taken to avoiding it, as if their prejudice was infectious. You hadn't entered the gates in months by now, and even though you missed Power Noodles and stopping by the agency to bother Nick, you felt no real urge to step inside.

The inhabitants' paranoia, towards the institute and towards outsiders, made the air in the city oppressive. Compared to the freedom of Goodneighbor, even with all of its own problems, Diamond City felt tyrannical in comparison.

You made a wide berth around the old scrap yard, overrun by feral dogs, climbing a fire escape to reach the elevated turnpike.

The closer you got to Goodneighbor, the hard it was to push forward. With the end in sight, close enough that you could practically count the steps you had left, aware of every finite amount of energy you had to eke from your body. Still, you reused to break, pushing forward, hands wrapped tight around the straps of your pack, like a schoolchild with their brightly colored schoolbag

Just a little further. Just a little more. The turnpike turned North, and you had to duck and pause as some gunner scouts passed, the highway connected to some high-rises, precarious wooden planks forming bridges.

Crouched down low, your calves burned, your fingers ached as you gripped your revolver, checking the bullet count on autopilot and lining up a shot, just in case you were spotted.

You weren't, the mercenaries passing from one end of the bridge to the other, wood creaking under their weight, loud, unconcerned conversation passing between them.

You sneaked past them in a crouch, knees and back protesting, familiar flood of adrenaline humming through your blood, heartbeat in your ears. The thrill stayed even once you were out of eyesight, until you'd shaken out your joints and rolled your shoulders, back to your brisk pace.

One of these days, you promised yourself, zeroing in on the broken jaw of the freeway that you used to find your bearings, you'd find a way to make a portable Ham-radio. Staying away so long was making you half-insane. You hadn't heard his voice in over two weeks, and at this point you would have sold all the loot you were lugging around to see his face a few minutes sooner. You'd pay insane sums to be able to hear him on the regular while you were away. Joking, complaining, hell, even just reading off his fucking caravan logs.

The body of the freeway dropped to the ground, crumbling concrete surrounding a Gunner camp, probably the one those two idiots earlier were supposed to be protecting. Well, you thought, pulling a trip-mine from your pack, it wasn't your fault if they were fucking morons.

Behind the rusted body of a truck, you waited for the perfect moment to strike, listening with patience to the Gunners as they yelled and laughed, carefree in the way only over-confident assholes ever could be. On a different day, you would have attacked with something more complicated, something that could blast the entire camp in one go, but today, you were tired and homesick.

At the right moment, you activated the mine and tossed it, scurrying from behind your car to drop off the side of the freeway, landing in a crouch in an alley a street over from Goodneighbor, booking it as the mine went off and the yells changed from happy to panicked.

You'd often thought, as you and Hancock laid spread eagle on the bed, or sprawled over the couch, that between the two of you, you were by far the one more likely to turn feral. He was too clever, his mind too sharp, even dulled by drugs. You were the one running around the wasteland, scampering like some little creature, hoarding old-world junk, killing nearly indiscriminately. You survived on the high of your own adrenaline, surviving scrapes by the skin of your teeth, by clawing, biting, crushing, choking.

You held your breath until you could see the glow of the welcome-sign, neon arrow pointing at the door, like to the entrance of a dingy nightclub. It shone like a beacon even in the daylight, beckoning you home.

When your fingers touched the door, you swore you gained a second wind, the eerie stillness of downtown Boston turning into the hum of bustling Goodneighbor residents. You greeted the Neighborhood watch as you entered the town, and they variously tipped caps or winked at you, hands always on their guns.

Daisy's was full, the sure sign of a newly passed caravan. You spotted that Railroad guy, sipping from a bottle on the bench in front of the store, doing his usual job of completely failing to fit in by being almost unnaturally nondescript. That might work in Diamond city, but not in Goodneighbor.

Your steps were slow as you maneuvered through the crowd, aware of the pack on your back and the guns slung over your shoulders. You headed for Kill or Be killed, planning to unload some ammo and spare rifle you'd picked up. You kept your eyes peeled for that flash of red in your periphery, the heat that filled your chest whenever you were near him.

KL-E-0's store was empty, meaning she was probably on the second floor, conducting some less than savory business. You'd hustle out of there if you heard the sound of her laser powering up, but you decided to spare a few minutes.

You leaned your forearms onto the counter, taking some of the weight off your sore feet and back, eyes running over the visible apparel, wondering what things you should offload.

Sure enough, barely a minute passed before you could hear the wood creaking above you, footsteps descending the staircase and an achingly familiar voice:

"-Talk when my girl brings something new, call it a uh- personal favor."

You raised your head from where it had been lolling, that familiar voice sending a sweet ache through your chest and a giddy smile onto your face. His girl.

Hancock was turned away from you, speaking to KL-E-0, trusty shotgun in his hands.

If your pack had been lighter, you would have bounded into his arms and dragged him right back to the old State House. You would have indulged the exhibitionist in him, wrapped your legs around his waist and let him stick his tongue down your throat right there in the street.

Instead, though, you settled for walking over, supporting the bottom of your pack to keep it from rattling. KL-E-0's red eye flickered over to you for a moment, inscrutable as always, but she stayed quiet, allowing you to surprise Hancock as he chattered about the recoil of his gun.

You wrapped your arms around his waist from behind, smushing your face between his shoulder blades. You breathed him in, the familiar smell of tanned hide, cigarettes and that ever present old-museum-smell that he'd tried many times in vain to get rid of. You inhaled with a shudder, pressing a kiss to his back, feeling his momentary frozen shock melt away as he seemed to register who was touching him.

He spun in your arms, leaving you face to face with soft eyes and a softer smile, a hand coming up to cup your cheek.

Warm lips pressed to yours and you melted arms sliding up to hook around his shoulders, pulling him flush to you. A corner of your mind– or your heart– which had spent the past two weeks growling about being apart from him, finally quieted down.

"Is that your gun digging into my hip, or are you just happy to see me, love?" He asked you when you separated, leaving you to snort and hide your face in his shoulder, so giddy you thought you might burst with it.

You swallowed past your joy, composing yourself so that you could lean back and flick the tip of Hancock's tricorn-hat upwards, giving you a better view of those lovely dark eyes, always so emotive, crinkled at the corners.

"Good to see you too, Mister Mayor," You breathed, hands sliding from his shoulders down to his waist, backing out of KL-E-0's store, dragging Hancock along with you. He came willingly, not allowing even an extra inch between the two of you.

All thoughts of bartering, even your own body's complaints were forgotten, your heart singing. You blinked against the sunlight, convinced suddenly that the weather was reflecting your mood.

"What's your plan for the day?" You asked, when it became clear Hancock was too busy staring at you to say anything. The two of you seemed to be wandering in a leisurely pace towards the old State House, but you didn't care where you were going. You'd follow him around all day if you had to. You could be going right back into the Wastes for all you cared. You'd trail behind him as he did whatever he needed to do, collapse from exhaustion and let him carry you back to bed.

"Oh, you know," He said, pulling you up the steps to the Old State House, opening the door for you, ushering you inside, "Was gonna get high and mope around all day, waiting for you." He had no sooner shut the door than he grabbed you by your belt, pinning you to the wall, your heavy pack hitting the wall. "Probably drive Fahrenheit crazy with my pining–"

You hum, smoothing out the lapels of his coat as his hands wander.

"Now, I'm thinking we go up and let the whole town we're reunited."

"Sounds perfect," You agreed, pressing a kiss to his jaw before pushing him gently in the direction of the staircase. He led the charge, half toppling over every step in his desperation not to let go of you.

The second you hit the landing he whisked you back into his arms again, hands restless as he squeezed your sides, traveled up your arms, touched your face, all before coming right back down again to squeeze your ass. Another breathy laugh escaped you, so happy you couldn't put your smile away even as you kissed him.

His hand slid up to your lower back, guiding you towards the bedroom, your lips still locked together.

you pulled away at the door as Hancock filled with the stubborn doorknob, always jammed right when you needed it to open. You keep your arms hooked around him, but you give a salute to the neighborhood watchman stationed in front of your door. His face stayed stoic, either used to yours and Hancock's antics, or from copious threats from Hancock. Both seem equally likely.

He did give you a nod, though, as Hancock crooned in victory, having managed to fling the doors open. You gave him a smile, right as Hancock grabbed your arms and pulled you in. You kicked the doors shut behind you, already laughing as Hancock showered your face with kisses, dipping you like a dancer.

You separated from him enough to finally drop your pack, which thumps to the floor. Your guns come off, placed down with more care, followed by your bandolier and scavenging jacket.

Hancock cracked the doors open as you busied yourself, calling out, "Make sure to keep all the riff-raff out today, yeah brother?" And then the doors were shut and locked. A peaceful quiet descending over you.

He takes your hands, pulling you to the center of the bedroom, leaving you bathed in afternoon sunlight peeking in from the open balcony door. The room was as clean as it ever was, five hundred years of grime that you'd long given up on trying to get rid of.

With the door open and the spring air flooding in, everything felt fresher, not weighed down by centuries of history, but just a normal bedroom. Your books had been stacked in neat piles on the dresser, where you could see one of your shirt sleeves peeking out from the drawer. The bed was newly made, and....

"Is that..?" You stared, taking in the sharp white color of the fresh sheets, looking brand fucking new. Not Commonwealth new either, no, this looked like the bleached and pressed sheets of a fucking prewar hotel.

Your eyes sought out Hancock's, expecting to find him grinning, boastful, the usual exaggerated ego coupled with his general cool-demeanor, but instead you found him looking... uncertain. One hand rubbing the back of his neck like he was... bashful.

"Where did you get this?" You asked, stepping over to the bed. You ran a hand almost irreverently over the fresh sheets, feeling the starched, crisp texture of it, not rotting and mildewed like almost everything was.

"Oh, a uh– new trade caravan passed through last week. From somewhere out west, they've been growing cotton and weaving shit.

As if in a trance, you started shucking off your clothes, not wanting to sully the fresh sheets with your blood and dirt stained layers. You only get as far as your outer shirt when Hancock's hands sneak back onto your waist, almost timid in their touch. You half wanted to slap them off in your urge to get naked, get under the sheets and let him touch you there all he wanted.

Instead, you spin around to face him, guide his hands under your shirt to the warm skin of your stomach. "You're an angel, you know that?" You said.

He laughed, "Only for you, sister. Devil to everyone else."

You laughed back at him, finally shedding your shirt. As you try to wrestle off your boots with the force of your heel, all the examples to the contrary fly into your head: Every kind action he'd done, every willingly shared drug, every situation where he'd chosen less violence than he needed to. The nights you'd spent watching him agonize over whether he was good enough for his community, whether he was making the right decisions.

Instead of bringing those up, you pecked his lips in thanks. With his 'help' (groping), you got your undershirt and bra off, leaving your torso bare.

You leant down to unlace your boots, your earlier attempts having been futile, but before you could Hancock had you off your feet, tossing you head first into soft, fresh sheets. He took over, hands trailing teasingly over the waistband of your pants before he turned to your boots, sliding them off and taking your socks with them.

You groaned, cheek smushed into the mattress, as nimble hands pull your pants down and off. Trailing fingers, tickling the backs of your naked calves, up into the hollow of your knees. You had to stifle a giggle as a feather light touch against your inner thigh made you jump.

The bed shifted as he climbed onto it, his legs bracketing yours, knees pressing into the flesh of your thighs.

Fingers on the waistband of your underwear.

"How about we get these off?" His voice, low and gravelly, suddenly hot in your ear. A gentle bite to the cartilage of your earlobe, the drag of fabric as your underwear was pulled down your legs and then tossed somewhere.

"You know," You breathed, raising yourself onto your elbows so you could crane your neck and tried to catch him in a kiss. You missed, but settled for kissing his shoulder, hovering just by your head. "I'm feeling a bit exposed here. You've stripped me bare and you're still clothed."

You turned underneath him, determined to get him to kiss you again, were met with his grinning face just above yours. "Well, let no one call me an unfair man," He said, sinking onto his haunches, just out of reach of your desperate mouth. He plucked his tricorn from his head, settled it onto your.

You raised yourself to him, stole a quick peck, languishing in every brush of his lips against yours. It was dangerous, how much you'd missed him on the road, pining to the point of distraction. The times you'd ducked into buildings to ease an ache brought on by reminiscing, imagining him besides you, or on you, or in you. Imagining him being beside you as you stumbled into firefights, imagined his hands patching you up, rather than your own.

"You didn't happen to remember to take any Rad-X this morning, didya?"

His words pulled you from your stewing. You groaned. In your excitement to get home, you'd completely forgotten.

"Can't we just... skip it? This once?" You asked, pulling on his collar, dragging him down to lie on top of you, his mouth in reach again. You pressed a soft kiss to his cheek, hooking one leg around his waist to ground him to you, keep him from getting distracted.

"You and I both know you'd regret that in the morning, sister."

He was right, the bastard. Spending your morning throwing up, hooked to a Rad-Away was not your ideal first day back. So, lamentably, you release your grip on him, hands and leg flopping to the side as he leant over to grab a bottle from the nightstand.

"I'm sure we can find something to... entertain you, while we wait for it to kick in."

You pouted, making a show of how frustrating his interruption had been, how desperate you were to get him back. Here you were, naked, spread-eagle and waiting, with patience you didn't have.

You watched, silently, as he dug into the bottle, drawing out two pills. As he stepped back over, you pulled yourself back onto your elbows, waiting for him to hand them over, or maybe deposit them into your mouth himself.

Instead, as he kneeled onto the bed, he put them into his own mouth, leaning over you to meld his lips to yours. You grabbed at him, feeling his arms wrap around your waist to support your weight as you melted in his arms. Slowly, in long, deep, searing kisses, the pills moved from his mouth to yours. Once they were on your tongue, he pulled his mouth off yours, scarred lips shining with spit, and moved to your neck, nipping and sucking at the skin as you gather enough saliva to swallow the pills.

Rad-X was quick to kick in, but the effects weren't instantaneous, leaving the pair of you with at least ten minutes to kill. On a normal day, you would have been happy to spend those minutes making out, taking your time in stripping Hancock off his clothes, egging each other on with dirty words and dangerous fantasies. But you'd spent over three weeks away from Goodneighbor, over three weeks of precarious mental foreplay, dreaming of his touch at night, fantasizing of him in the day. Suddenly, even the prospect of radiation sickness was not enough of a reason to stay away.

You tore at his coat, rucking his frilly shirt out from under his sash, exposing his slim stomach. You watched the muscle there tense under your touch, as you ran cold hands over his hips, tugging him closer to you. With practiced hands, you made quick work of untying the sash at his hips, satiny fabric sliding from your fingers and onto the floor like a waterfall.

Hancock bit into the flesh of your shoulder, making you hiss and dig your nails into the skin by his hip bones in retaliation.

You pull his chin upwards, leading his mouth to yours again, keeping those teeth from doing any more damage just yet.

Your generous hands wandered, up and under his shirt, roaming over the breadth of his chest, feeling it expand as he inhaled. You nipped at his bottom lip, drawing out a rumbling groan, felt both in your mouth against his, and in the vibrations against your fingertips.

You scooted to the edge of the bed, bracketing his hips with your thighs, freeing his hands so you could tug his coat off. Your hands slipped up under his collar, pushing his narrow shoulders backwards, giving you enough leverage to push the heavy coat backwards, the heavy fabric thumping to the ground.

Sometimes, when Hancock looked particularly vulnerable, usually collapsed on one of his couches, bleary with the haze of jet, his outfit reminded you of a child playing dress-up. In ancient coat tailored for a man with broader shoulders, a hat fit for a pirate and a disdain for the sort power he wielded.

You pulled your lips off of his, formulating a plea that would get you what you wanted, what words would make him understand just how badly you  ached for him, just how unbearable the emptiness in you was. You pressed a chaste kiss to his sternum, bare but hiding in the ruffles of his shirt, and made a blind grab for the waistband of his pants, words suddenly elusive.

His hands stopped yours, stilling them just by the button on his pants, so close to their goal.

You whined, the sound almost entirely involuntary, tilting your head up to meet Hancock's gaze with your own, sure now that he was teasing you.

"John," You managed, "This is cruel."

His eyes crinkled, as if you were the one making the joke, as if you weren't the one burning from the inside out.

"Well, now, I can't have you destroying my reputation. I worked hard to be known as a generous lover."

"Then stop teasing and fuck me."

But he only snickered like a bawdy teenager, gentle hands guiding yours to grasp at the fresh sheets. You watched helplessly, heartbeat in your throat, as he stepped back, rolling his sleeves up to his elbows before sinking to the floor in front of you, guiding your legs over his shoulders.

"This'll coast you over, sister."

He grabbed you by your thighs, tugging you closer until you could feel his breath on your [core]. Your thighs trembled, heels digging into his back, desperate to push him closer, to get his mouth where it needed to be.

Your eyes were squeezed shut, hands balled into fists, half convinced you would burst into tears if he didn't do something. You swore you could feel him laugh, right up against your pussy, unable to hear it over the rush of blood in your ears, a split second before his tongue was finally, mercifully, on you. The slick drag of it landing quickly on your clit, lapping at it teasingly, every strike on your nerves making you seize, already so worked up from being near him.

You cursed on an exhale, lungs burning, every nerve in your body sparking, your blood heating. There was an obscene slurping as he sucked hard against your clit, pressure just on the right side of pain, his fingers digging into your thighs.

Your head pushed hard into the mattress, Hancock's hat falling into your eyes, rendering the outside world suddenly dark.

Suddenly, all pressure vanished, making you let out a long, pitiful whine, releasing your death grip on the sheets to raise the hat and see what the ghoul would be torturing you with this time. You raised your head, found Hancock on his knees by the bed, looking at you with pure reverence, fingers running up and down over the plush, soft skin of your inner thighs.

You could feel the way his ministrations had spread your juices, the way the skin at the meet of your thigh and pelvis were glued together, sticky, pulling at your pubic hair just enough to be uncomfortable.

"What are you starin' at?" You panted, trying to get his wandering mind back to the matter at hand.

He grinned up at you from his perch, "What do you think?"

Fingers, crawling slowly, teasingly, up your thigh, into the divot where leg meets hip, tickling. Then, slow, gentle strokes through your pussy lips, scooping up all your wetness. A teasing, fleeting touch across your clit, making you seize, arching off the bed with a whine.

Then, the slick, slow glide of those fingers inside you.

"F-Fuck," You huffed, meaning to say something more like 'fucking finally, you torturer'.

"Such a pretty girl for me," Hancock says, that sly purr sending its own spark up your spine, mixed with his fingers, a slow, tantalizing in and out, "Been thinking about you for  days,  love. All alone out there, with no one to help you out. Running back home, to me, to let me help."

His fingers stilled. You clenched around him, every muscle in your legs seizing, your chest heaving.

"Is that what you were doing?" His voice was delicious, closer now. There's a bite into the flesh of your stomach, just above your belly button and you tensed against it, squirming into his fingers.

"Yes," You breathed, grinding hard onto his fingers, willing something, anything, to put pressure on your clit. You try squeezing your legs together, but Hancock's arm is in the way. A pathetic whimper escapes you.

"Wanna tell me about it, sister?"

You get out a "Please," legs moving restlessly, trying to get him to do anything, go in our out, anything at all. Blindly, you reach out and get him by the back of the neck, trying to push him downwards. You can feel his smile against the skin of your hip.

"Nngh- mmm, yes, I thought of you. Every day I was away." His head sunk lower, chin resting on your pelvis. "Thought about this, or sharing a hit of jet, or letting you pour wine into my mouth."

His mouth found your clit again, and you were sure you could cry, feeling his tongue flicking at the little nub, fingers starting to move again, a slow, languid in and out.

You arched off the bed, hands gripping the back of Hancock's head, legs going over his shoulders, pressing into his back.

"Shit," You breathed, one hand shifting to grab his forearm. The pressure on your clit increased suddenly, sending a spark through you that left you limp. Your hands slid from their grips, spilling onto the bed.

You looked down, finding Hancock's eyes on you. Then, he twisted his fingers in a way you didn’t recognize increasing the suction on your clit until you felt like he was trying to give you a hickey. You gasped, fingers digging hard into the bed, fabric rustling in your palms, hips snapping upwards, further into his mouth.

"Wait, that felt– do it again," You panted, to which he happily obliged, tongue and fingers twisting in a way that lit a spark in your body, like the strike of a lighter. A few more repeated movements and you moaned, probably loud enough to wake the drifters in the attic. Hancock's free hand wandered up the bed, catching one of yours in his own with a gentle squeeze. A moment so sappily romantic it managed to push you over the edge, your orgasm cresting over you like a warm wave.

Slowly, with a few extra nips to your inner thigh, Hancock sat back. Face wet with you, mouth curved up into a smile. You squeezed your legs together, shading your clit from the open air, chest heaving as you recovered from over stimulation.

"Get up here, please," You called, voice languid, hands reaching out to embrace him, crush him to you, hold him there forever. He obliged, crawling up against you, the texture of his pants against your naked thighs sending goosebumps across your skin. He slotted perfectly into your arms, pressing his mouth to yours.

You ached for him, wanting to get him closer, to tangle with him until you were impossible to separate. You kissed him like you were starving, all teeth and desperation, hands moving to shove off his vest, to unbutton his shirt, to get him naked, get him closer. He helped you, tossing the vest and then the shirt to the floor, warm chest pressing to yours, your tits trapped between the two of you, his rough skin grazing against your nipples, heat building behind your sternum.

Between your bodies, you felt his hand work at his pants. You were pressed so close together that every fumble grazed against your core, sending shocks of heat through you. You were so overwhelmed with need you couldn't decide where to put your hands, sure you'd be more of a hindrance than a help if you tried to get involved.

He made quick work of it, tugging down his pants, followed by his underwear.

He lined himself up, your excitement mounting until you were sure you would come again the second he entered. He captured your lips in another searing kiss, and finally your hands moved without you having to think about it, settling low on his hips in an effort to drive him closer.

"Ready?" He asked, and you felt your mind flash back to your first time with him, a rushed affair after a night drinking with him at the Third Rail. Even then, as it was a desperate fumble to get naked as fast as possible, spread over the couch in his office, clawing and biting with ferality, both of you desperate to get closer, even then, he had paused, hands on your panties, and asked, in that same soft tone, if you were ready, as if he expected you to have changed your mind.

"Yeah, I'm ready," You breathed, eyes squeezing shut in anticipation.

It's a slow, slick, delicious glide that has both of you groaning. Something in you slots into place, all your frenetic energy calm, as you grip at Hancock's back, burying your face in his neck as he starts to move.

"God, that's so–" you gasped, unable to finish, unsure of the words. You hitched a leg up onto John's waist, dragged him in for another kiss.

His pace was achingly slow, his touches sickeningly sweet. You focused on the fullness of it, the way the glide and drag of it seemed to fill your lungs even as he stole your breath with his tongue.

You wanted to live in this moment forever, here with him, inseparable in every way, as close as you could be. Hancock's hips drove deep, making you arch your back with a gasp for air, his lips vanishing off yours. The pace stayed sweet, sentimental, and you relished every sound that came from his mouth, every trembling breath.

"Wait," you breathed, tapping his shoulder like a time out, "Lemme, ugh–" With a few moves, you've twisted the two of you around, him on his back, you supporting yourself over him. He looked up at you, eyes twinkling with pure adoration, as you settled yourself with your legs under you, hands moving to his chest so you can keep your balance.

You settled yourself down onto his cock, your hips flush with his, and his hands found your waist, squeezing with that same softness. You set a pace, still calm, but decidedly faster, enough that your tits jiggle as you move.

"If this is some fucked up hallucination," Hancock rasped, voice choked, "I swear I'll lay off the drugs."

You laughed, breathless, grinding down to find that perfect spot inside you, hitting it over and over again, until the pleasure of it turns the inside of your eyelids white and your hands buckle, give out.

Arms caught you, of course, Hancock flipping you back over, managing to land that sweet spot again, enough that the tension spreads across your body, every muscle tensing up as you moaned, inches away from your second orgasm. His fingers on your clit do the trick, a few tight circles and the tension suddenly seeps out of you, a long, silent exhale. He fucked you through it, pace slowing down as you catch your breath.

You lean up to capture his lips again, grinding your hips to meet his thrusts, encouraging him to speed it up, to chase his own pleasure, relishing in the way his pace grows frantic, sloppier.

He gripped your wrists, bringing them over your head, held tight in his hands. Your torso lengthened, chin tilting upwards, exposing the length of your neck to him. He pulled away from your mouth so you take the chance, craning your neck upwards to nip at his skin, finding the soft tendons and sucking hard.

Through gasping breaths, he asked, "Where– nngh– where do you want me?" Your legs tightened around him, hands clawing at his back, using all the strength you had to keep him where he was.

Already, you can feel the way your own pressure is building back up, the way the repeated slide of it drives you right back to the edge.

"In– in me," You gasped, muscles shaking as he managed to hit that perfect spot in you over and over, back arching clean off the bed. You still weren't ready to let him go, even as you neared your third orgasm, still desperate to keep him where he was.

"Are you–"

"John," You cried, his hips slowing as he stopped again to check, your welfare always at the front of his mind. Sure, it would leave you raw and burning, making the next round a bit more pain than pleasure, but all you could think about was keeping the sensation of him imprinted on you as long as possible. "I'm sure, please."

He rutted against you, hips grinding against yours. His head dropped to your shoulder, gasping against your sweat slicked skin, two fingers sliding down against your throbbing clit.

You whimpered against him as pleasure flooded your body again, your grip on him weakening as your muscles shook, legs slipping from around his waist.

You mumbled words of praise as he came, hands roaming around his back, onto his cheek, your whispers of, "So good, so perfect, you're perfect, baby," audible only to him as he moaned. You felt the heat of him inside you, the slow building of fullness even as he softened.

You felt the slow, familiar tingling that preceded the lightly burning pain that would start. You felt Hancock shifting out of you, his mouth twisted into a guilty frown in the skin of your shoulder.

You clenched, feeling the slow dribble of heat spilling onto your skin.

Hancock's lips traced a path across your shoulder, down your arm, the occasional wet smack or nip at your skin pausing his journey. He detached himself from you slowly, regretfully, as if taking his skin off yours was some great sin. And it was, but in the service of a greater good, grabbing a clean strip of cloth from the bedside drawer, cleaning you up in gentle caresses, stickiness removed from your inner thighs, even softer touches over your pussy lips.

You let him busy himself, even as your fingers itched to get him back, wanting to tell him that you'd had worse pain, that you'd hurt for him every second if you had to. Instead, you only smiled at him when he glanced up at you, reaching up to pull him back to you. He came willingly as you pulled him back into your arms.

Tension faded out of your muscles and you melted into the bed, hands wrapped around Hancock's middle. "Did you miss me while I was gone?" You asked, smiling, voice soft. You just wanted to hear him say it, your own little version of 'I love you'.

Hancock raised his head, pecking your lips gently, leaving them tingling.

"More than you could ever know," He said, painfully earnest.

"Mmm, I think I have some idea."

Notes:

The smut chapter took me ages to write for some reason, so if it sucks... uh. No it doesn't (if u see any spelling errors pls let me know tho)

Thanks for reading! Please leave me a comment, or request something, or just come chat with me!