#which is a big reason that I'm posting it now
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Hey, I have a request, you can write it for Lessi.
Well, she and Yn are together but no one knows about, only their families and Less's teammates. Yn is a reporter.
So when, for example England won the world cup, they were over the moon and Yn has to interview her, so when they were talking and almost the interview was over, Less was like fuck it, and kiss Yn, so obviously everyone was watching them.( Like Iker Casillas and her wife, I don't know if you know about it) and after that, you can write whatever you want, like Less's teammates teasing her, or Yn teasing her girlfriend.
SECRET OF US | alessia russo x reader
masterlist
the stadium was electric, england had just won the euros — again. they were back to back winners. the roars of the crowd echoed across the pitch.
alessia stood in the middle of the pitch, an england flag wrapped around her shoulders, taking it all in as her heart raced, her body drenched in sweat and pure adrenaline.
her neck feeling heavy with the weight of the gold medal around her neck but nothing could compare to the pride which was swelling in her chest.
the blondes teammates celebrated around her, hugs and laughter flowing freely, but alessia's eyes were scanning the sidelines until they found what they were looking for — you, standing poised with a microphone.
you were broadcasting live, for sky sports. you out the corner of your eyes caught your girlfriend's gaze giving her a subtle smile, but it was one that spoke volumes.
no one knew about your relationship with the blonde — at least not publicly. your families knew, of course, as well as alessia's teammates both club and country as they had both made it their mission to tease alessia mercilessly in private.
but away from that tight circle, your relationship was a well guarded secret. you both had agreed on keeping things private, not wanting your growing career in sports journalism to be overshadowed by being 'alessia russo's girlfriend' that and it was nice not having outsiders opinions on your relationship.
but tonight as you waved your girlfriend over for a post match interview, alessia felt something shift inside of her.
she wasn't just proud of herself or the team; she was proud of you too. proud of the way you had supported her every step of the way.
you voice was warm and steady as you introduced alessia to the live audience. "i'm here with alessia russo - now two time european champion." you paused with a grin, "alessia first of all congratulations! how does it feel to know you've made history tonight, again!"
as alessia listened to your words spoken so softly but with such reason as her heart skipped at the sight of you so close — your cheeks slightly flushed and your bright eyes as well as the way you would unconsciously twist the cord of microphone in your hand.
unable to resist, alessia brushed her hand against yours as she took her place in front of the camera. you sending her a quick but knowing look as she maintained her composure.
"it's unbelievable," alessia smiled, her voice slightly hoarse from all of the shouting and cheering she'd done in the past hour. "honestly i don't even have the words for it right now. this is everything we've worked for, everything we've dreamed of — it's surreal"
you nodded, your professionalism impeccable even as your eyes softened filled with love, "and what about the team? what is the secret to the lionesses success?"
a chuckle fell from alessia's lips as she reached up to adjust the medal around her neck, "this team is special and we've got the best players, the best staff and most importantly the best bond. we really are a family"
as you asked the next question, alessia's attention dropped for a moment to the hand which you had resting at your side, fingers lightly tapping against your leg.
alessia's mind trailed to thinking how many times she had held that hand through so many highs and lows, felt its comforting squeeze before each big game and now she wanted nothing more than to reach out for it again.
the interview continued for another minute or two, you asking insightful questions that everyone in the public wanted to know — alessia answering with a mix of humility and joy.
but as the interview began to wrap up, alessia felt a sudden overwhelming urge to share a moment — not just with you, but with the world.
you asked your final question, "so what's next for you, alessia? a celebration with the team, i assume?"
alessia's grin turned mischievous as your brow furrowed slightly, you'd seen that grin once or twice before. "oh there'll definitely be a celebration, but first-"
and without thinking — or maybe too much thinking — alessia stepped forward and cupped your face, kissing you.
the roar of the crowd doubled, the interview having been being shown on the big screens around the stadium. cheers and gasps filled the air as you froze for a split second, your microphone slipping slightly in your hand.
but you then melted into the kiss, your free hand reaching up and resting gently on your girls' waist.
alessia pulled back just enough to rest her forehead against yours, her thumb brushing against your cheek as you both caught your breath.
your cheeks were flaming but the sparkle in your eyes was a mixture of love and disbelief. "lessi," you whispered, your voice barely audible over the noise of the crowd.
alessia turning towards the camera, shrugging her shoulders with a cheeky look on her face, "guess the secret of us is out now"
the feed cut back to the studio, but the damage, or rather the magic, was already done.
every social media exploded within minutes, clips of the kiss flooding every platform and news article, side by side with captions like: 'russo pulls a casillas!' and 'new power couple on the block!'
the two of you began to walk down the tunnel most of the team already back in there as you both walked along hand in hand, alessia relucantly letting go of your hand as she sneaked another kiss in before going into the locker room. you walking off to attend to other media duties.
as alessia walked into the locker room, still slightly breathless from the kiss, and the other ones she snuck in from being on the sideline to being metres away from the locker room door. the teasing from her teammates started immediately.
"about time!" ella hollered, throwing a towel at alessia's head. "thought you were gonna keep us sworn to secrecy forever"
alessia taking a seat where her things were, taking a sip of the drink which had been left in her cubby, chloe smirking holding up her phone to alessia, "you've gone viral, less. the internet is having a field day!"
others joined in on the teasing as they watched alessia squirm it setting in on what she'd actually done, on live national tv...
leah grinned from her spot in the locker room, "you've really pulled an iker casillas, less! full on national tv smooch"
that got some giggles going from the team as they began to imitate kissing noises earning nothing but a groan from alessia as she buried her face in her hands.
but the smile tugging at her lips easily betrayed her, "i never planned for it to happen- it just happened" she shrugged.
her teammates exchanged knowing looks before bursting into laughter, their teasing giving way to genuine smiles.
you eventually found alessia back in the hotel lobbey, scrolling through her phone with a bemused look on her face. you didn't say anything at first, instead just quietly slipped yourself to sit on her lap, placing your head on top of hers.
alessia immediately reaching for your hand as she treated your fingers together
"so," you smiled after a moment, your voice was soft but teasing, "that's one way to make our relationship public!"
alessia moved slightly so that you were now facing each other as she placed a kiss to your cheek, "i couldn't help it. you- you just looked so.. perfect. and i wanted everyone to know"
your expression softened, though your lips twitched with amusement, "your lucky i love you, lessi. otherwise i'd be very mad about the fact i've got ten producers texting me about an 'official statement'"
alessia winced, "too much?"
you laughed, tucking a bit of her loose hair behind her ear as you hand moved down to rest on alessia's chest, right over her heart. "maybe a little. but i don't mind. it's kind of romantic.. in a chaotic sort of way"
"chaotic? me?" alessia teased, feigning offended as she pecked at your lips.
you rolled your eyes but you couldn't help the smile that appeared on your lips, "you know this means we are never going hear the end of it right? the girls are going to milk this for years to come and i'm never doing another interview without the topic being brought up"
alessia shrugged, her other arm slipping around your waist as she played with the hem of your shirt, "let them talk. as long as i've got you then none of that matters"
you expression softened further as her words which were laced with just pure love, your voice barely above a whisper, "you've always had me"
alessia smiled lovingly as she leaned in, capturing your lips in a slow but tender kiss. a one that spoke a millions words and showed just how in love and infatuated with one another.
as you broke apart, alessia rested her forehead against yours, her hand cupping the back of your neck.
"and i always will," alessia murmured.
for the first time that night, the chaos of the day melted away, leaving just the two of them—inseparable, unshaken, and utterly in love.
#alessia russo x y/n#alessia russo x reader#alessia russo#woso community#woso#woso x reader#woso imagine#woso blurbs#arsenal wfc#arsenal women#awfc#arsenal#woso fanfics#england wnt#england women#enwoso
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That is a false framing of the discussion at hand. These two are not mutually exclusive; I hold both positions you listed. It is both true that comments are really cool (and often that it can kickstart a writer to get the motivation to keep going) and also that you shouldn't be writing for engagement in the sense that you beg for kudos and comments or else you have no will to go on.
I fundamentally disagree that meaningful community and the engagement that you describe, the reading back, can be achieved in a healthy or sustainable way via asking strangers on the internet for it. If you are asking that of people, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. The people who are the most caught up in this mindset, those who make posts that to one varying degrees guilt the reader for not engaging with every fic they like and make them out to have wounded the author with their lack of engagement, are the ACTUAL target of the "fic writers shouldn't be writing for engagement" argument.
It's fine to need people invested in your work to write. I understand that. But it is much more reliable and it is much more of an act of community building if you put effort into making a small group of friends that match your freak, people who can laugh at your draft and cry at your draft and react line by line. And if you do have that, and you ever find yourself thinking "those people don't count", I'm sorry, but that's a problem where you need to look inside and ask yourself why it isn't enough. And if you're going to be able to do this longterm or if you need to work on some mental health issues to continue without hurting yourself or lashing out at others for their perceived shortcoming in giving you the attention you wanted.
Aaaaand this is where the comment would stop if I believed that alone would solve it.
But like. This is just fundamentally not a binary issue. I, for instance, fucking LOVE commenting on fanfics. I love giving authors I like a little boost and I love mentoring people and I love when my friends give me snippets of their fics. I don't very much appreciate the implication that in order to think that fic authors are being unreasonable for wanting numbers from the void, that one has to view fic as a content mill, just as I'm sure you don't appreciate feeling like someone is telling you to go to therapy for liking to receive comment emails, which is how this position I hold is often taken. The truth is, you're right. In order to understand the real reasons this debate happens, we must learn to look past oversimplified framing and delve into the circumstances that brought rise to it.
In fact, I think this all has much more to do with the sheer volume of fic that is available via ao3, surrounding patterns of social media use, and the different scale of fan communities that existed before compared to now. I think that more or less the entire modern form of this entire debate can be explained by the cultural differences of moving to a big archive for solo perusal and the loss of forums and other intermediate-sized fan community spaces.
Like, yeah, people have always been holding the next chapter hostage for "reviews" since the days of old, but it was seen as immature to do that. People thought those people were the most annoying people in the world. Why is there a massive shift towards that mindset now, then? I think it's fair to think that I'm in the minority position here given these posts about comment starvation circulate to the tune of thousands of notes. There IS an actual drop lately, from what I've gathered.
I'd hypothesize that instead of going to communities and sharing there first, people are expecting to build communities out of a point of contact on Ao3 itself with no backup. To be clear, I have met lots of friends like this, but they were never my ONLY writing community. And that's not necessarily an attribute I have as an individual, but a symptom of growing up with forums and stuff. And more and more people nowadays grew up with social media and particularly its onesided nature and addicting models of interaction. And the internet is just shaped like that, now. It guides our interactions with everything online, now, these fenced-in, monolithic entities. You can't fault the individual for looking at the online world through this everpresent lens.
And this is interesting because it means that you and I have essentially the same problem with modern fandom, OP: we both have a problem with fic as "content". Neither of us are happy with a landscape where you feel like you have to shout into the void for connection. But to me, it's a problem of systemic particulars and how we teach people to interact with other people online, not a failing of the individual on either "side" but a symptom of the mind-boggling scale and centralization of the modern internet.
How to solve it, though?
uhhhhhhh yeah sorry all of my fixes are really on the individual level because that's all most people have control over lol but I would be interested to see what people who are better acquainted with the reclamation of the internet have to say
what the whole "please comment on fic you like, it will encourage more writing" vs. "fic writers shouldn't be writing for engagement and validation" debate fails to really grasp, for me, is that comments shouldn't be boiled down to "engagement and validation" in the first place. by which i mean: comments aren't payment for a service, they are communication and connection. they represent the audience reaching back.
i don't write just for myself. are you kidding me? the point of storytelling, to me, is to present certain narrative arguments and produce or encourage an emotional response to them. That communication is essentially useless if there's no endpoint, no listener. To me, there is no point if I'm not communicating with someone. When I write, I am talking to a reader. If you've read anything I've written, then I was talking TO YOU.
you are well within your right to consume fic as ~content~ and withhold your "payment" out of a sense that the writer should be satisfied at having created anything at all in an unresponsive void. but please be aware that it feels really good when you talk back.
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Hey you! Have you seen this post by @pigswithwings? Do you like it? Do you like animation? Well do I have the news for you! With the author's permission and consultance, I am running a 5 minute animation short film on it, called "Angel back at home"!
Now, here's the most exciting news: We are looking for storyboarders, background designers, and 3 voice actors of all genders! Even better, you don't need to be a professional on any of those things whatsoever, only have some knowledge on them (and be of minimum age 16) to try and apply for the role!
Unfortunately, it is not paid, as for legal reasons we can not make profit out of it. Why should you join then, you ask? In this project we guarantee three things:
Portifolio building: Everything you will be producing, you can be using to add to your personal art portifolio, if this is a career you'd like to follow!
Resume: The short-film will be hosted on several film festivals, so you'll be able to put a big list of festivals your work was featured in, if you'd like to follow any art career. If not, the entire experience can be written in several bullet points on a resume ("experience with working in group", "experience of working within a deadline", etc) for any general job.
Advice and art growth: Every art that gets made on this project will be seen by me, the producer, and will be given advice for improvement. This is especially good if you've been on an art block, is self-taught, or overall would like a different perspective on your art. Don't worry, I'm not harsh!
Additional points is that it allows me to know new artists and new talents! From the last project I had run in this format, I had taken notice of 5 to 6 different artists that I hadn't known were so talented for their specific skills, which made me keep their names for the next project I'd produce. I am someone who dreams of opening an animation studio for new underrated talents and non-professionals that are studying to be professionals, so i'm looking forward to finding the artists on this project that will catch my eye and I'll bring over to the next project.
The timing is flexible since it is a volunteer ran project, if I can't pay I can't demand work hours of a job, so the deadline won't be too tight. For 5 minutes of film, the boards, voice acting, and single music will all in total take about 3 months, with the deadline starting in ferbuary and ending in the end of April. The following months will be given towards animation, sound editing and mixing, and video editing.
Requirements for storyboarders: Know how to draw, understand rule of thirds, enjoy drawing expressiveness through body language. You can be using any drawing device, whether that's computer, cellphone, or traditional, as long as you use the storyboard template in question and stay faithful to references.
Application link for storyboarders
Requirement for voice actors: have a somewhat good microphone(doesn't need to be professional and expensive, just good enough so we don't want to give the audio editors too much work), have interest in acting (preferably have had at least one theather class).
Application link for V/A
Lines for V/A
Requirement for background designer: Know how to draw or how to put together a 3d model of free assests, you don't need to be super experienced and specialized with drawing backgrounds but it'll be good to have a basic idea of it. You will be given specific references for the backgrounds, and you won't draw every single background, it'll be split work
Application link for background designer
Applications end by ferbuary 8th, but may be pushed forward if the applications are low. Everyone that passed will be noticed two days after.
Best of luck to everyone!
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Some random drawings that I haven't posted yet :P
Beware I'm going to yap alot so um don't mind my spelling mistakes
Error :3
I really like to think that he is a very big fan of Sans and watch him fight the human and cheer him on. He will make his own Sans sweeter and talk to a plushie of Sans. Idk I thought is would be a cute headcanon :3
SANS UNDERTALE!?
Idk what I was doing I just wanted to doodle him. Look at him and his aroace ass (that's my headcanon BTW 💅) Tbh I don't think i got the pose wrong it looks wonky to me :P
Pixel art 🎨
I'm not very good at pixel art so I tried to draw Ink and Nightmare in pixel. idk does it look good? Cuz for some reason I think nightmare looks so squish and Ink ummm I'm actually proud of Ink tbh :D (see I can like my art!) I'm thinking of doing more pixel art in the future...
Inkmare au :3
It was based on that one meme (if you know you know) I made this a while ago so it their old designs. I think this is so adorable and it's there relationship in a nutshell :3
Dustard 😈😈😈😈
Heheheheheheh dustard >:3 Am I the only one who wants more wholesome for this god forsaken ship? I mean they both deserve each other and their such bad ass. I want nothing more to see more wholesome but I mean I'm not complaining when I see angst :v
Rottencrops
I NEED MORE OF THIS
Grrrrrrr feeed me
But I really do like this ships and I remember this being super popular but ig things die down which socks cuz this is a cute ship (it has the angst potential)
Dreamtale brothers headshots
I mean they just headshots of them but I'll still like to talk about it
Nightmare just looks so pathetic and so cute in the same time idk.
Dream errmmmmmm I gave him rosy cheeks :D
Frisk design <3
I wanted to make a design for them that it's hard to tell them if their are a girl or a boy and idk did I succeed? I feel like I'm going to use this design for Frisk for on now.
Kay that's all me eppy -w-
#undertale au#digital art#my art#undertale#art#frisk undertale#frisk#sans#error#horror#horror sans#horrofarm#rottencrop#farm x horror#horror x farm#dustard#dust x fell#fell#fell x dust#dust#dust!sans#dust sans#fell!sans#fell sans#inkmare#nightmare#dream#dream!sans
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I figured it out! In case anyone else has a similar problem on Windows 10 on an HP Spectre laptop (or if I have this problem again in the future and forget that I have these instructions saved on my computer), here's what I did:
Start menu -> search "TouchPad" -> Synaptics Touchpad App -> Clickpad Settings -> Two-Finger Scrolling -> click the settings wheel/gears on the right -> UNCHECK* enable reverse direction
*Or CHECK if you want it that way instead
I had to reset my computer because it’s pretty busted, and so far, it seems to be working a lot better, but oh my god, I cannot figure out how to reverse the scrolling direction back to normal (i.e. the way it was before smartphones and tablets and Apple deciding to reverse it to "match" those devices and Windows following suit), and it is driving me BANANAS. At some point, Windows took that setting away (???), and so people figured out how to do it using the Registry (the second method on this page), and I've tried it twice but it's not working 😭 So if anyone has any idea how to do it so that it actually works, I will be forever grateful.
#Windows#Windows 10#reverse scrolling#scrolling#I did have these directions saved on my computer already; I was just following them wrong last night#that's what I get for trying to do this at like midnight#idk where I found this originally bc I didn't find it ANYWHERE via Google last night/this morning#which is a big reason that I'm posting it now#though idk that posting it on Tumblr is going to actually allow people to find it#I would also like to take a moment to give a shoutout to Reddit for being the ONLY website I found in my search#where everyone had to be super mean and judgy before giving out their troubleshooting directions#'I don't know WHY anyone could POSSIBLY ever WANT to do something so UNNATURAL as to CHANGE THE SCROLLING DIRECTION#but if you MUST here you go I guess'#like wow. you get to feel superior to people because *checks notes* your computer is already set to your preferences.#that's...normal 🥴#original post#technology
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I somehow only Just noticed how Lucifer's wings move when he laughs in Surprise Guest interactions and I'm. Kind of obsessed? Like that's inexplicably adorable what
I've been due for some wings brainrot for a while now, hoping this one sticks around for a while afhsfjsf the tails got more than their fair share of my attention i Need to be spinning the concept of wings around in my brain at all times for the next three months At Least--
(Bonus hc infodump in the tags bc I have minimal self restraint)
#obey me#obey me headcanons#<- all in the tags💀#obey me nightbringer#obey me lucifer#lucifer#how have i not fully processed this big scary* demon having big fluffy probably emotionally reactive wings#his feathers probably fluff up when he's content and comfy#he 100% uses them to make himself seem even bigger and more threatening when he feels like he needs to#which now has lost its threatening capabilities to me bc he's just doing Bird Things xfjjgxgx#he's threatening enough on his own adding the bird tactics on top just loops back around to Little Guy territory somehow--#anyways wings good#they probably make nice sounds when they move and the feathers brush against each other and they're probably really soft in some places and#he'd probably start purring if you pet them (while you're alone ofc lol) especially the places closer to his back#or wherever else he might struggle to reach himself#I'm gonna be so real tho i think doing anything that could qualify as preening to Any of the former/current angels would get to them a bit-#Lucifer would be more subject to returning the favor tho (subconsciously or intentionally. probably both at different times lmao)#the instinct/cultural association with it has died down a bit in the rest of the brothers (at least conciously)#bc it did mostly just apply to helping other angels they were close with with their wings specifically#so lucifer being the only one with feathers would've probably had that habit/association stay more ingraned than it did for the rest of them#bc he'd be reminded of it all the time#ok i should make an actual post about this at some point i think instead of dumping it in the tags bc jfc-#bc im about to start spiraling into how the brothers adapted to their new bodies and being so out of their own culture when they fell#and etc etc#and I'll yap for Years and also maybe cry a lil--#tldr Preening As A Sign Of Affection (mutual) and it effects Lucifer the most for several reasons#personal headcanons
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2007, conference finals phoenix vs san antonio
#politely i'm obsessed#also so the first gif is from essentially the game clinching play#there's a minute and a half left pho are ahead 89 to 85 [they've won the first game in the series if they win this they are through#to the championship. the game has been up and down with sas going on runs and one girl hitting 4 threes in the first#cappie pondexter winds down the shot clock penny sets a screen to let her through#all the sas run to cappie which leaves penny open for 3#she makes it she's fouled and 1#that first gif is right after she makes the shot and the whistle blows#then she makes the free throw phoenix mercury are up by 8 and sas has to foul for the last minute of play#i am also obsessed with their big 3 being 3 13 and 23#also that this is cappie's second year in the league and she is the reason they won this game#and she wins finals mvp#this footage well the first one is from the measly 1 minute and 48 second penny taylor highlight from the wnba#and the second one which is from the same game but not in the bootleg video on youtube is in an edit from inside the bun#which has in the description free diana so i can only assume it's from the modafinil situation but i cannot find that footage anywhere#it's actually unfortunate bc the merc used to like before youtube was big post video exclusives to their website#and not everything has been preserved#i have to go on the internet archive because i think there might be more there#it's where i see all the old late night clips that aren't on youtube#so and ik im yapping here that's why it's in the tags the way i figured out where the last one was from#was i cross checked getty images for the 2007 and 2009 playoffs#and there's an image of cappie you can see her in like the first frame talking to then gm annie meyers drysdale who now calls the games#diana taurasi#penny taylor
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Uh-oh! You are like, SOOO awkward!!
You're so awkward that it is occasionally mildly uncomfortable for people!
You're so awkward that sometimes people are confused by you and then there are awkward silences!
You're so awkward ...... that ultimately no one is harmed!!
Oh damn!!! What a vile crime you have committed! What an unforgivable thing it is to make a fellow human briefly confused!
Why, if *I* were ever briefly confused and kind of uncomfortable as a result, I'd be devastated.... by the absolute net zero change in my happiness and health! - From which I might never recover!! Yes indeed! No punishment can ever be enough for you!!
So you better absolutely hate yourself for it.
Better be SO MEAN to yourself about every single missed social cue so you don't forget your horrible crime! Meaner than you'd ever dream of being to someone else for the same thing! This is YOUR responsibility!
You need to show the world that you KNOW you are bad by punishing yourself constantly! After all, think of all the people who BENEFIT from you punishing yourself! - No, really! Think about it! Think about who benefits from your pain.
Think of alllllll the definitely-good people that your definitely-necessary self-torment definitely helps! I mean, you can't just cut off their definitely-life-sustaining supply of your suffering, right?? Sure, everyone else has a breaking point, but you're probably the only person in human history who doesn't, right? Best not to question it probably. Sure, it's a symptom that billions of people with trauma have had, but who knows? You could be a one-in-seven-billion exception. Anything's possible!
Instead, better just accept that idea that bullies carry like guns in holsters - the idea that people who have trouble with social cues deserve to suffer. Better carry on the burden they placed on you until you drop. Aid the cause of the callous by enforcing shame and suffering upon yourself extra hard; try your best to do their work for them. They're very busy.
Better not recognize that you need patience and kindness to heal from your trauma. Better not find out that it was trauma rather than personal weakness filling your head with self-hating thoughts. Better not find out it wasn't your fault.
Better not find out that awkwardness is not inherently harmful or unkind, and, in fact, the people who act like it is *are the ones enacting harm and being cruel.*
Better not get righteously angry when you realize just how much unnecessary damage this has done to you. After all, if you get mad, you might realize you deserve better. You might even feel brave enough to DEMAND better! You might build boundaries that keep you safe! You might make other people think they deserve to feel safe too! And we obviously can't be having that, so...
Better not show yourself even a little kindness a little bit at a time.
Better not make a habit out of it after all that practice.
Better not get confident.
Especially if you can't first wipe out every trace of awkward. (And you probably never will. Because people who experience absolute social certainty at all times tend to be insufferable assholes that enforce the status quo. And you just don't have the stock portfolio for that.)
Better not be confident and awkward because then you might confuse and delight people
- you might accidentally end up making other people feel less shame for their social difficulties
- you might make isolated, traumatized, and shy people feel like they deserve to be included in social situations
- you might even make them feel they can be themselves around you
- you might start loving the effect you have on a room
- you might enjoy conversations more
- you might forgive yourself and bounce back from shame more easily and frequently
- you might come to enjoy some of those moments of harmless confusion you cause because NOBODY expects the Confident Awkward, and that can genuinely be an advantage in social situations
- you might stop apologizing so much.
- you might find that socializing is like a video game: it requires practice but also a safe space for it to be fun and positive.
Or if you can't become assertive and confident, better not remain awkward and shy and quiet, and then love and forgive yourself anyway!
Why, it would be carnage!!
In either scenario, you run the risk of finding out that it's not your fault that safe spaces full of kind people can be really hard to find, create, and nurture. You could end up building a skillset that helps you do those things if you're not careful!
If you start giving yourself even the tiniest amount of grace at a time, you will find that you've accessed a gateway drug with extreme long-term side effects:
- You might realize that it was never your fault that it took so long to like yourself.
- You might realize that you were always worth talking to, even when you didn't like yourself and communication felt impossibly difficult.
- You might realize that you'll still be worth talking to even if communication becomes harder as you age and/or experience disability.
- You might come to know that you deserve to be heard even on bad days when words come slow and blurry.
You might discover that you were always deserving of kindness, first and foremost from yourself.
So. As you can see, it's FAR too much of a risk to start granting your awkward self free pardons for your many heinous and harmless crimes. Better to just leave it there.
#social skills#i have a few posts now in my ' social skills' tag#original#maybe eventually I will compile them and polish them in some meaningful way. I know what I want to call the book title#in big text it'll say 'I'M AUTISTIC' and then beneath that in smaller text 'And I Have Better Social Skills Than You'#or something to that effect. and the cover of the book will be me making an exaggerated smug face like the little rascal I am#challenging the viewer to pick up the book and see if they can prove me wrong.#and then the entire first section of the book is about how actually the issue with our society's social skills is the harsh judgment#for people who have trouble communicating and not the other way around. I don't actually think I'm the#most charismatic person in the world by a very long shot. but i do know that I have put more thought into my social skills than#most allistic people and frankly i have surpassed most of them. not because i am more persuasive or smooth or funny#(tho i am persuasive and funny lol) but bc i have questioned which social functions are more restriction than utility.#and instead i have focused my energy on actively learning how to make people feel safe. i feel social rules would benefit all people by#being a little more autistic tyvm. i don't think every person should dedicate themselves to being better at communicating#i think people should dedicate themselves to being kind and patient to everyone regardless of their ability to communicate#I think our society wrongly links communication ability to intelligence and intelligence to level of humanity.#when in fact all three of those things are fucking unrelated and connecting them inevitably leads to#really fucked up views on disabled people that hurt us. and then with that aspect of the book firmly understood and established I would#go on to recommend some ways to make socializing easier and more fulfilling (and less shameful and terrifying) for all kinds of people#it wouldn't be a book about Leaning In To Succeed in Business or 'here's how to avoid being the awkward loner at a party'#it'd be a book about how if you see someone alone at a party here's how to invite them to join your group without pressuring them#stuff like 'hot tip! if someone takes a while to type or speak a full sentence - talking over them b4 they can finish makes u an asshole!'#I know that a lot of people cannot or don't want to dump a lot of skill points into socializing like i did and they shouldn't have to in#order to experience basic dignity and respect. if we treat people like that then we just validate that people - especially#autistic children and elders and disabled people of manu varieties - have to suffer unless they learn all these arbitrary bullshit rules#and a lot of them are arbitrary bullshit! one of the reasons I throw people off so much is because I harmlessly break a lot of social rules#but I know I'm doing it and I'm not ashamed and people just don't know what to do with that! but a lot of them like it actually!!#i think it's a relief to be around someone so openly and unrelentingly weird bc what am I gonna do? judge you for being weird??#I only care if you're kind. not necessarily 'nice' or passive. Kind. Brave enough to care about people being treated well. Kind.#also I recognize that at least some of my ability to be openly weird is white privilege so that's important to acknowledge too
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no promises anymoooooreeeee i'll appear online when i appear online 😭 every time i say "ooh i think life is almost done being overwhelming!" it. becomes even more overwhelming in the dumbest ways. all i can manage rn when i'm not stressing myself into a shut-down state is staring at the wall while listening to youtube essays + mindlessly crocheting.
i might queue up ppls art and fics w/o commentary in the tags... i want other ppl to see what all of my cool friends have made, but i genuinely can't think right now with this monstrous brain fog. i'm really sorry, just. yeah. maybe i'll think of some way to make it up later!!! once the dust has settled!!!! but until then i wuv u and miss u. smiles.
[venting in tags including familial manipulation and ableism. i. didn't mean to write all of that, thiss was originally going to be a main blog post but. aaaaaAAAAAA!!!!!
also no need for replies or anything, i'd turn them off for just the one post if i could kjsndkn, i just needed to get things out and go eep jsjndsfdn ok bye bye bye bye!!!!]
#goddd my family finds it sooooooo funny that i can't do basic tasks! it's soooo funny that i can't even think of a horror movie to watch#on halloween bc i genuinely can't remember a single one right now. it's soooo funny that i can't take cardboard boxes or#old furniture out of my room without help bc i've physically and mentally and emotionally burnt out for Months.#and me not being able to move shit out after two (2) days makes me a hoarder somehow. and ofc hoarding is a moral failing#and my mom has to give me a stern talking-to about hoarding things... that were. again. in my room for 2 days....#[tbc it isnt a moral failing no matter the reason. life is hard and things happen and it can be hard to get rid of things for Reasons.]#nevermind them making constant snide remarks about me using ugly 'mismatched' desk / storage furniture. bc it was free / cheap? no income??#AND!!!!! i have a couple of new diagnoses. which doesn't change much day to day but it does make my family making fun of me#even more dumbfounding. like. this explains a lot of really scary unexplained symptoms that constantly leave me#housebound for weeks but uhhh haha hehe hoho??? so silly so funny that i'm barely conscious for multiple weeks???#and you can see that i'm getting worse but that makes it funnier??? hmm!!!#also nevermind that i've told them the exact reason why i've been like this (read: them) but that ALSO makes it funnier somehow.#but i also can't say shit bc they're doing something ~nice~ for me (out of convenience + after almost a decade of 'don't get comfortable'#and 'don't decorate this room bc it isn't yours' and 'you need to be ready to move out by x date'#only for the date to arrive and them to pull the 'i never said that. and if i did say it i didn't mean it like that.#and if i did mean it like that i don't anymore.' card. + any big renovations are things they wanted anyway. hmmmm!!#and how i have to do all of the phys labor alone bc if i ask for help i get made fun of!!! and yelled at that i'm doing things Wrong#(hint: i'm following instructions to the letter but. my family knows better than those silly things!! ^^ ))#jfc i sure did rant. uh. yeah. things. are really weird and uncomfy and i feel thankful that i finally can have my own things on display#outside of closets and bins again after a decade?? but i'm also waiting for the other shoe to drop / them to tell me i owe them in#some way??? bc that's how it works. 'i'm doing a nice thing you didn't even ask me for so now you have to do whatever i tell you to.'#meanwhile i can't even maladaptive daydream my way through it bc my brain is soup right now. can't remember basic things abt#my interests bc i've been on negative battery / spoons for a couple of months straight and it's only getting worse.#OKAY TLDR i'm not in a state to do anything until everything irl gets settled. and i'm trying So Hard to get it all over with but there's#only so much i can do in a day before i completely shut down. i didn't even get into the insurance stuff i've been fighting too ughhhh.#so if i show up on here in short spurts -- hi! bye! hi!! i wuv and care u!!! hope youre well mwah mwah!!!!!!! i'll post what i can and then#disappear when i need to recharge. it is what it is. i need to try to sleep now... uh if this post disappears when i wake up.... yeah......#📌 [ my posts. ]#💭 [ my thoughts. ]#vent -
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I have a really funny concept for an Azula reverse self ship (because I can't make a regular self insert work with her), and I'm trying to decide if it'd be funnier to make her a History RPF girlie or if the reason Zuko had to sit through Ember Island player's butchering Love Amongst the Dragons was because Azula had a massive crush on one of the characters and DEMANDED they went to see it every year.
#Reverse Selfship#Proship Selfship#Think thokin#Might make it an Azula X Reader if I can think about it long enough. For funsies#I now the reason they saw Love Amongst the Dragons so much was it was there's mom's favorite play#But I do also think it'd be cute if it was also Azula's favorite play but for different reasons#I'm thinking she liked the Villain of the story; So the dark water spirit#Which adds a fun layer to it as the Dark Water Spirit mask is the mask Zuko wears while being the Blue Spirit#There's also apparently an Earth Kingdom Opera with the Dark Water Spirit in it so maybe she was obsessed with that too#Thus why Iroh got her the Earth Kingdom doll when he broke through the wall at Ba Sing Se?#He thought she liked Earth Kingdom arts and what not#It's weird that he gets her the doll. He clearly knows his Niece just as well as his Nephew. I always thought that was weird.#Anyway.#This is a nothing post of my silly funny thoughts but I like it#I'm rambling more about one than the other because I JUST watched the Ember Island Players episode#So it's more in my head#But Azula reading of some amazing Firenation Non-Bender general or strategist#(because she seems to have an affection for non-benders)#in her history books and getting a big silly crush on him is ALSO incredibly funny to me#It was my first concept#Rolling them both around#BY THE WAY#If any real Azula selfshippers see this#You are 1000% free to steal this concept. I just think she's neat.
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personal take on the fionna and cake ending is that I'm actually kinda fine with simon not having a scene with marcy in the credits. not because they're not important to each other or anything, the star was basically an entire episode about that, but like. from the very beginning of simon's involvement in the miniseries it's like made clear that the support system he HAS is like. 3 people one of whom is also in desperate need of support and the others just... can't always be there. marcy has a life! the tattoo scene mattered because she was HAPPY! she's got her own stuff going on! i liked that the credits seemed to be more about simon reaching out to other people than about relying on the support he already had, because part of the issue was that that just... wasn't sustainable. it's good that he's finding people and meaning outside of the people he knew before becoming ice king. he's moving on, for real. he's actually living life, instead of just... existing.
#fionna and cake spoilers#adventure time#also a big thing with a lot of the marcy scenes in f+c was that simon like. couldn't come up with any reason to live other than her#if she keeps being his reason to stick around nothing has changed. not living just existing. i think it's good that he's finding meaning#outside of that#i do think it's a shame they don't get to hang out like marcy suggested in simon petrikov#but i think the priority on the team's mind was probably showing that simon now has something to live for outside of that#which i agree probably mattered more in terms of the larger narrative with simon#basically i think f+c probably needed like a couple more episodes but that's a whole nother post so idc. I'm fine with jt
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........creachure
#cats#his eyes are always so big and weird he no longer looks like a cat anymore sometimes.. in a way...#it's hard to understand.. complicated vibes on this boy#his summer sprawl (laying flopped out on the floor weird because of the heat)#I AM still trying to get some costumes done and also post another poll advtnure so I can finally finish it lol#the weather this month has just been soooo.... There was the heat wave and then after like 2 days of coolenss where I was like 'ah! finally#I can be productiv!' but just as soon as I had recovered from the heat.. it got hot again ghhhh#currently sweating inside. I actually had to leave my doctors appointment early today because I was just so so warm from#sitting in the car and the fac tthat half the buildings still do not have their air up very high and etc. and I felt so nausous#and flushed and started to get back and stomach pains for some reason.. Which I guess is good in a way to further confirm to doctors that#I Have Something Wrong With Me lol (most normal people should not be this heat sensitive I think) but is also still a little stinky#because I still payed a copay for the fulla appointment time but cit it short by leaving 15minues early.. grrr#ANYWAY. It seems like recently it's just hot all the time but it will ocasionally tempt you with a cool day of reprieve BUT don't let your#guard down! because as soon as you start to think 'hey things are getting better! :0' the sun will be like NO actualy. scalding temperature#be upon ye..#Which of COURSE. I would rather have hot weather with little breaks in between than just constant hot weather. 100% definitely.#but it just always makes me sad because I get my hopes up lol.. JUST as I've recovered from the past heat and am So Ready To Start#On All My Things now That I'm Not As Sick And Hey Maybe It's Even Cool Enough To Do A Costume! .. my hopes are dashed#.. woe and so on and so forth. . Which I am stil managing to get a few things done but just.. not the things I really WANT to do (costumes.#sculptures. edit videos. etc. ).#anyway.. look at son.. If nothing else I still have lots of cat photos.. my sole productivity offerings to the internet online world
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Whoever invented major depression with year(s) long episodes/groups of episodes should be vaporized i think
#Technically I think the episodes can only last for weeks or months#But mine for whatever reason occurs in clusters spaced years apart so it feels like#5 years on then 5 years off#My old therapist always said that I am largely resilient unless it's sufficiently large stressor occurs in which case it completely fucks m#For a while#Takes so long to get back up#I am sure this presentation is not uncommon. it blows big time doesn't it?#This is an embarrassingly personal post and I will delete it but right now I just need to get it out somewhere#Also weed is really not helping right now. It's fine when I'm doing well but it sabotages at me my lowest#I was really trying my best to get less keep less in the house etc and then Evan's mom without knowing this of course#Says that she feels like she needs a break and gives us...as Evan describes...a “Willy Wonka amount of weed”#😩 truly a blessing and a curse#I'll manage this just makes it harder. She was so generous too#I'm going to go do some planning to kickstart my dumb asshole brain lobes into gear#Sorry if you read all this mess#Woof
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there are like 12 weeks of 2024 left so it's time to make a bunch of polls on Simply Plural to try and figure out what the fuck our new year's resolutions for 2025 are gonna be because ideally we should not leave that until the last minute and then get a ridiculous number of alters to vote at once on December 31st again.
I imagine a lot of the suggestions will be similar to this year's ones because we've enjoyed the ones we decided on, but it'll be interesting to see what we come up with. we're thinking about doing another Big Drawing but maybe going with 1 hour a week instead of 2.
we might also do something similar to Bread Quest but with a different category of food, but I'm not sure which one. Fruit Quest and Candy Quest were both suggested last time, and Cheese Quest could be an option, but we'll see what happens I guess.
after checking back, I've just realised we forgot about like half of this year's goals, but it has been a chaotic year so it is what it is. one of them was to pick a new species each week to learn a bunch of facts about, and we didn't do that but we've definitely learned to identify a fuckload of species so we did something at least somewhat related to that
#personal#thoughts#🍬 post#new year's resolutions 2025#we'll probably do a handful of fun/silly/whimsical ones and a handful of more serious ones again like we did this year#it gives us something interesting to look forward to which is a big deal right now#because we have a lot of PTSD symptoms from what happened over the summer and that includes a sense of foreshortened future#like really really bad. our brain can't comprehend making it past the end of the year for seemingly no reason#(not in a suicidal way or anything like that. we just have a very vague but intense sense of impending doom)#so I'm trying to put events in our calendar and set goals and make tentative plans for things to try and challenge that feeling#and starting the new year's resolution polls should maybe hopefully help with that on top of just giving people more time to vote#anyway that briefly got kinda dark but I am looking forward to seeing what goals we pick and how that ends up going
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flat nosed buses my absolute beloved
#afternoon#objectum#fun fact last time I was in the city I saw a broken down bus on one of those big trucks that. you know. drive broken down vehicles to fix#and I got so sad and said out loud “awh poor thing get well soon” and my brother looked at me like I just told him I was gonna eat our dog#and then like two minutes later I saw another bus and whispered “cutie” and winked at it#and then I saw ANOTHER bus but it was the bus for a hockey team and I think they were on the bus so I couldn't openly flirt with it#lest the hockey players think I'm hitting on them#which would be way too on the nose for other reasons about other things#on the nose? like flat nosed buses? the thing this post was originally about? I love them that's the point but I'm off topic now
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I somehow didn't catch this during all the chaos from that day but I'm rewatching Forever's conversation with Vegetta, and Vegetta told him: "You're a good person, and a good person knows what their mistakes are. You're a good boy. It's not going to happen again."
#i talk#qsmp talk#and just#I dunno man. that really got to me for some reason#I'm not someone who cries easily at all but this is the second time something related to the server has made me cry#and I don't mean tearing up I mean BIG time crying#which is even rarer for me#It was so sudden too I was literally halfway through a bite of food and I started instantly crying when hearing that#and now my food is COLD agh#Bobby's thing made me cry too but I get because there was so much buildup to it with everyone trying to save him and it was very emotional#but with this I literally just opened up stream and then 10 seconds later Vegetta says this and BAM#[skull emoji]#this post might self-destruct later idk I don't like getting too personal about stuff#I've also been doing so many text posts lately I never used to do that#but this series has made me feel a little bit better lately. or at least my passion for it has made me want to talk and meta like I used to#which is nice#anyways. ya boy's having a rough one I guess
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