#which in hindsight i am very glad for

[bittersweetblasphemy]

.

[thebaffledcaptain]

Things that happened at the 250th anniversary of the changing of command at Old Fort Niagara

as recounted by a humble fifer of His Majesty's 22nd Regiment of Foot, for his own records:

The unit got to sleep in the French Castle, which sounds much more luxurious than it was, but I’m still happy we had the chance to do it—it’s the main barracks building in the fort, with three stories that house officers’ quarters, mess halls, store rooms, and even a chapel. In period accurate style, however, the regiment was quartered on the third floor where something like a hundred soldiers would have slept on wooden pallets around the perimeter of the room.

Three of us, myself included, squeezed into the weird little nook between the two doorways and decided that was the most fun place to sleep.

In hindsight I can only assume it was not the most fun place to sleep because man was it hot in there. The site had the windows padlocked and some people had to go convince a staff member to open them so we wouldn’t suffocate the next night as well.

Two unfortunate souls swore up and down that they had an encounter with a ghost on the first night and immediately ran down to the chapel on the second floor. It was not until after I left that I discovered the site is rumored to be haunted by…. *checks notes* a Headless Frenchman?

There were a ludicrous amount of donuts for breakfast both days. Like, every flavor you could imagine, laid out across four modern folding tables. That was how the Fort justified not providing us with any sort of rations. Just… an absurd amount of donuts.

On the second day I ate my donut watching two highlanders struggle to set up a stretcher, assuming they were probably going to do some kind of medical demo with it later

As I’m walking back to the barracks with my friend I hear a voice behind me go “make way for the King’s donuts!”

I turn around and the same two highlanders are carrying eight donuts, each in a different flavor on its own individual plate, perfectly laid out in a line that spans the entire length of the stretcher. Here’s the visual because you need one.

Somehow I managed to lose the entire regiment on the first day. They said they were going off to drill and apparently went so far from the Fort that I could not find them until they returned—last out of every other unit drilling, of course

During this time the 54th doctor saw that I looked abandoned and offered me a seat next to his operating table and… dismembered limbs etc etc. I accepted for the shade though with some trepidation.

My fellow 22nd fifer abandoned me to be a man-at-arms this weekend. The 54th drummer and I got some quality bonding time as the only musicians in our battalion.

We did make kind of an executive decision to detach ourselves from the 43rd when we split into companies after watching them accidentally wheel themselves into a corner of some sort… but, you know. No one cares what music does anyway

In fact one of the 8th fifers aptly described our job as to criticize and/or commentate on the rest of the goings-on we had no part in, in a fashion I describe as being much like a bunch of little peacocks in the back. If I’m being honest that’s my favorite part of the role.

In accordance with this principle, my fellow fifer and I took it upon ourselves to put lavender sprigs in as many of the regiment’s hats as we could. We didn’t get very far but the sentiment was there.

Our sergeant took it upon himself to explain the origin of the word “cock” on multiple occasions because the fully grown adult men in this unit have the collective maturity of a 12 year old

Kind of disappointed with the tavern night (bad beer and not even in a historical part of the fort) but ended up having a long conversation with some 54th guys, so now I can say I was challenged to a duel by the 54th sergeant?

Alright, slight exaggeration there—both of us fence and while I saw him doing some friendly sparring with a few other people, we never got the chance for a bout, so now it's up in the air for the next event we're both at.

Also, he said "Spepsi" instead of "Pepsi" exactly one (1) time and I tormented him with it for the rest of the night. It's a good thing he's not my sergeant or I might be digging myself into a hole with that.

Watched two highlanders at the front of their files wheel decisively left when a right wheel was called and then sheepishly jog back to the rest of their unit

Greatly enjoyed hearing one of our guys’ “deaths” on the battlefield, which are famous for his Wilhelm scream-esque exclamations

On two occasions, the 54th sergeant turned to me (once on the battlefield, once in the middle of a very solemn memorial service) to tell me “it’s stinky over here”

I did not think this would be the event where I bonded with an NCO from a regiment I was not a part of but I’ll take it

The regiment bought $700 worth of Russian Drill from one of the sutlers. Cleared out his stock. Needless to say a pair of Russian Drill britches is in my future

On the second day for some reason the Drum Major decided not to do any kind of drummer’s call before forming up for battle and just told us musicians to be on the lookout.

I was there for that announcement and stuck with my regiment so I was fine. The 54th drummer, however, was not aware of this and the entire battalion marched past him as he was just sitting under one of the tents—I waved to him hoping he would join us but he just��� waved back at me…

Cut to five minutes later—the 54th sergeant turns to me and goes “where’s [drummer]?” and I have to tell him we just… marched right past him. We give it another minute and suddenly, in the distance, the disheveled green figure of the 54th drummer frantically running to catch up to us… poor fellow. Not his fault nobody communicated to him. Which is a problem that could easily be solved by, you know, utilizing the Music (as would have been historically accurate), but apparently no one wants to do that…

I seem to be making a bit of a name for myself as the British Army’s Mandolinist in Residence, or, as some of my comrades have nicknamed me, “The Mandolier” (which. I have to be honest. Is a cooler term)

On Saturday night my fellow fifer and I stayed up until almost two in the morning singing despite the knowledge we had to be up at 6 to do reveille. However I did not regret this decision then nor do I now.

Nothing compares to the experience of singing Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald at midnight, sitting on a wall that drops off straight into Lake Ontario, at a centuries-old fort with no one around. This was Sunday night, when most of the units had left and we had the fort to ourselves and a handful of other souls who couldn’t bring themselves to leave the 18th century just yet—in fact, we had been about to finish our music for the night and our little group had been turning to leave when we started the song and the rest of them came running back.

Indeed, it’s been a week since and I am still not ready to be in the 21st century, nor am I ever, but of all the ways to end this event, I’ll take that one.

[sizzlingsandwichperfection-blog]

hi! i just wanted to clog up your inbox a little to say that your books made a big impression on me as a teenager (you were one of my favourite authors for years! and i still look back at your books fondly) and that i went to watch the film of the fault in our stars as a teen freshly in remission from cancer and it made me cry, not out of plot reasons but because the film showed augustus getting the same chemotherapy that i did and i knew what the side effects were going to be, which in hindsight was either the least ideal time or most ideal time to watch that film hahaha. so thanks, for both writing a book that stuck with me (for obvious reasons perhaps) and for giving me a reason to cry in a cinema hahaha

anyway, this is a very long winded way to say i’m glad you’re back on tumblr. it’s good to see you again :)

My favorite thing to be is someone's favorite author when they are a teenager, and then for them to grow older and get into other books. They read Toni Morrison and Neil Gaiman and whoever else and they get new favorite authors!

It is hard to explain why this makes me so happy, but it's like they allowed me to have this big and important place in their lives, and hopefully I helped a little with their growing up, and now they are grown and ready for other stuff.

It's like they graduate from me! But then if I am lucky they still hold a soft spot in their hearts for me, their old alma mater. And maybe sometimes they even go back and read those books and think these are pretty good actually, and then one day give them to their own kids when their own kids are teens.

That is my very favorite thing. Thank you for choosing me as your favorite author. Thank you for graduating. Thank you for bringing your whole self to The Fault in Our Stars with such openness and generosity. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

[eccentricallygothic]

Expanding on my claim that Bucky Barnes treat his s/o like a kid because @yourlocalcringydaydreamer asked me to. I am aware Old man!Bucky also bled into this but as someone who has always preferred older men and digs Bucky's age, I don't care. 

-Always takes care of you because you're just a baby and at times you don't– can't know better. And compared to him, you can never know enough. 

-Old man wisdom.  

-So tired of everyone who is not you. 

-“Back in my days…” and “Where I am from…”

-You know, he always ends up being right from passive aggressive friends to toxic colleagues to guys who disguise themselves as friends but don't have the best of intentions at heart. 

-Hindsight is 10/10.

-You're basically dating a super hot grandpa who looks like a god.

-Chivalry.

-A wholesome gentleman.

-“Kids these days don't know how to treat women.” 

-Dates are on him. 

-Even if you decide the destination, you best believe you're never paying when he's around. 

-He doesn't even have to be the richest guy ever, Bucky will always come through.

-Flowers every other time you meet him.

-“I didn't know which ones you'd prefer today so I got them all” type of deal.

-Opens doors for you.

-Closes them after you.

-He has you so spoiled that you often need a reality check in your treatment of others, lmfao.

-Doesn't do casual. Because wtf even is that? 

-Picks you up on dates. 

-Kinda old school in his treatment of you. Not that he is a sexist degenerate who infanfantilizes you in such a way that you're not capable of taking care of yourself or don't have a brain. Rather, because you're his little Princess and you only deserve the best. Which, if you let him, he would be happy to give you everything he has got.

-Glad to help if you need to be babied sometimes because life is too much to handle.

-“Real men take care of things” so he does. 

-Not toxic masculinity though. 

-So wholesome and thoughtful it will make you tear up.

-Takes note and care of the smallest things. 

-Coddles you like you're the most precious thing to ever step foot on this earth.

-Blue eyes watch you so fondly ardently it'll make your tummy flutter. 

-A gentle smile on his face as he cups your pretty face with his metal hand to wipe the drop or spec of food that smudged your face. 

-Always hovering behind you if you're doing something dangerous like working a stove or changing a lightbulb.  

-“Give it here” if a knife is too sharp, you're not using it. Not in his presence anyhow.

-Happy to help no matter what it is. 

-Brushes your hair if you're too lazy or tired.

-Has done it in the morning at times when you are busy dozing off even after washing up with his help.

-Prefers to keep you tucked inside his arms whenever he can. 

-Gets a little chilly, starts wrapping you up in sweaters and mufflers and beanies. 

-If it's too hot, then he will make sure you are hydrated and comfortable at all times. 

-You are never sitting on the ground, hard no. Even if you're having a picnic in a park. Princess sits on his lap.

-Grandpasplaining things to you, sorry.

-Will lecture you if you're overindulging in something and on the path to harm.

-Very hard for him to be mad at you but you overworking yourself does it for him.

-Didn't get as much time as Steve to really socialize himself with the new world and new generation so there are some things he's old-school about but is willing to learn so he can communicate better with you. 

-Nothing is above you and everything is below you. 

-Carries you around like a little baby because his little Princess deserves nothing but the utmost spoiling. You don't mind. 

-Go to girls night out driver.

-Mostly because he's the only boyfriend who doesn't complain.

-Your girlfriends get too fond of your hot old man when they're tipsy and Bucky sighs as he shakes his head, muttering something about silly kids as he drives them all home one by one.

-You don't get to go home though.

-Because who will help you recover from your hangover? Who will make sure you don't wake up sick in the middle of the night? Or if you need something?

-Writes you cards and letters, they're an integral part of him expressing his love.

-Will take matters into his own hands if you're being careless with yourself or too picky with your nutrients.

-Accompanies you to your ‘kiddie’ concerts where he often complains about how they don't make good music anymore. Grumpy face. Some people move away from you two because of his stature and meanie face. It's an advantage though, gives you two your own space to dance and sing along in. 

-You have to basically drag him there but he he will never spoil your fun. 

-Will furrow his eyebrows and get a little possessive if you become a bit too silly with your friends though, he's still your lover. 

-Since he heals faster and feels less pain, Bucky is the one who carries your pouty ass back to the car from the arena and rubs your sore feet at home.

-Tells you all about the parts of his past life that he's fond of. Which also includes the things he liked/likes.

-Struggles with tech and huffs when you giggle and help your old man out. 

-Calls himself your old man sometimes. 

-Kinda conservative so he panics if you get too bold since he kinda associates innocence with you as you're so young and haven't lived half the kind of life he has lived. But you're a naughty little minx sometimes. You can't help it though, he's too hot and too good.

-But do not be fooled.

-He's a gentleman in the streets, and a beast in the sheets. 

-Once the wolf is out…

-He doesn't go down easy.

-That aside, Bucky is your human shield against the world, honestly.

-Always happy to advise.

-Loves it when you include him in your troubles.

-Never wants you to make the same mistakes as him.

-Does his best to protect you in every way he can.

[izzabela]

Hear me out:

Bi han x fem reader where bi han takes reader out on a date but he didn't introduce them to his brothers or the earthrealmer champion. One day bi han takes y/n to a fancy dinner and johnny sees bi han in the distance and decides to go up to them as a group(everyone is having dinner together but bi han declined and didn't know they were going her) they try to get to know her and she has rock manipulation powers and bi han gets a bit possesive over them being so impressed and in awe with her

Unprecedented - Bi Han x fem!earth-bender!reader

in which Bi Han's date is ruined by idiots

a/n: hear me out- YEAH

ship[s]: bi han x fem!earth-bender!reader

warning(s): suggestive ending, semi-kanon story?

Bi Han does not forget things often or easily.

However, the fact he has been dating you for a year, and without introducing you to his family or the knuckle-heads he trained from time to time, was an incredible feat. It wasn't his fault though.

He was busy running a clan that spanned his family for generations. He sent his brothers on missions constantly, himself going along when needed.

He also left the Lin Kuei palace to train the champions at the Academy, and not bring them to his home.

His life also lied in life-or-death kombat, and Bi Han did not want you to see or know about it at all. Uncharacteristic of him, but he couldn't help it. Hell, he even kept his cryomancy at a minimum.

While you may have powers, the ability to manipulate the very earth you stood on, you did not align with the world of fighting and constant battle Bi Han faced. Instead, you used it in service of your hometown.

A town similar to Fengjian, but it was filled with older folks who couldn't lift plowing equipment the same way they did in their youth. You tilled the fields, harvested, and more chores that the elders couldn't do.

This was a defining characteristic about you that made Bi Han fall for you. You were protective of your "clan", just as Bi Han did for his. How he didn't introduce you to his family was a mystery to him still.

The consequences of this choice would be reaped momentarily.

In a rare instance, Bi Han snagged a day off and took you out on a date. Was it fancy? To the naked eye, no, but you were meeting an elder Bi Han respected and has known since childhood.

So yes, in hindsight it was. And you were hitting out of the park.

Madam Bo was absolutely smitten with you. She came off intimidating, at first, practically sizing you up as you stood, sat, and ate with Bi Han.

However, over the course of the meal, she checked up on both of you and asked many questions. Now, near the end of the meal, you had made her a happy auntie.

"How do you find Madam Bo?" Bi Han asks you. You dab a napkin on your lips to wipe away any sauce before answering.

"Intimidating at first, but she is truly a kind woman," you note her qualities. "And tough too! I like her fire."

Bi Han nods, approving your view on his retired elder. "She is well-known in the clan. I am glad you also agree with the sentiment I and the rest of the clan has of her."

You take a big bite of your food, chewing and swallowing first before you ask about family.

"How come I have not met your brothers yet? You speak highly of them, and it would be a shame to not meet them after a year of dating..." you sigh, dejected at not meeting his family.

As he begins to answer, he can hear the flamboyant voice of a certain actor in the distance. He flicks his head around to scan his surroundings, and his eyes meet the devilish glint of the actor.

"This is... unprecedented," Bi Han sighs.

"Bi Han? What is it?" you ask as you follow his eyes.

You meet the gaze of a man with brown hair and sunglasses, a man with a bun, a blindfolded man, and a man with a... razor hat?

You also note a man with gray hair and a man who looks awfully similar to your boyfriend.

They all come your way, and they're all smiles as they converse and ask questions.

"Greetings to the Lin Kuei's grandmaster," the man in a pulled-back bun says. "What brings you here?"

Bi Han nods his head to acknowledge him, "I am enjoying a meal with my... beloved."

Suddenly, all eyes are on you (even the blindfolded man). They're all looking up and down at you, and you're shy as you introduce yourself.

"You are brother's beloved?!" the ash-haired man exclaims, which earns him a smack on the back of his head.

"Tomas, show some respect," the Bi Han look-alike scolds.

"We are Bi Han's brothers. I am Kuai Liang, this is Tomas," Kuai Liang introduces himself. "It is a pleasure to finally meet the one who has our brother's heart."

You blush and bow, telling him to get up as you go around the crowd asking each man their names.

The man wearing sunglasses was named Johnny, the one who greeted Bi Han first was Raiden. Next to him was the blindfolded man Kenshi, and the sharp hat guy was Kung Lao.

Bi Han finishes paying the bill silently, watching over you as you converse with the champions and his brothers.

He can hear them asking questions on how you two met, if you had powers, where you were from, blah, blah and blah.

It made Bi Han twist and writhe in... agony? No, that wasn't right. Whatever the emotion was, he had never felt it until now.

He watched as you giggled at Kenshi and Johnny's bickering, blushed a bit at his brother's compliments, laughed heartily at Kung Lao's useless flirtation, and smiled at Raiden's humble praises.

It honestly baffled you on how Bi Han could not introduce you to such a colorful group of men.

"What brought you all here?" you asked, finally having the floor for questioning.

"Tomas owed us a meal after I won a spar," Kung Lao bragged.

You giggle again, "Well then, I won't keep you all waiting." You get up and come to Bi Han's side and place a hand on his shoulder.

"We will be taking our leave, do enjoy yourselves!"

Bi Han nods, and as quick as lightning he took you out and away from the restaurant. You didn't even get a chance to say goodbye.

"B-Bi Han!" you yell. "My darling, what has gotten into you?"

Bi Han doesn't let go as he keeps walking. Your wrist is in his hand, and it grips rather tightly before he stops and turns around.

"Darling?" you call to him softly. "Tell me, what's gotten you acting like this?"

You put your hand on his cheek and watch him lean into it. Like a little house cat, purring into the warmth of his owner.

"Bi Han?" you ask again.

"I did not like how close they got to you," Bi Han whispers.

A ghost of a smile appears on your face, and you rolls your eyes as your thumb strokes back and forth on his cheek.

"Darling? Do not tell me that you're jealous?" you question him as he simply huffs.

"I am not a fool who cannot control his emotions," Bi Han says as he crosses his arms, pulling away from your touch.

You giggle as you circle him, teasing him like a child as you keep poking him with questions.

You stood on your tip-toes to reach his ears, whispering something rather raunchy to get him out of his stump.

"You have all of me, and I can show you once we go back home."

Bi Han had never summoned a portal so fast in his life.

=====================

lowkey a lazy ending, im tryna watch the olympics

dont worry, more fics coming your way

see yall in the next fic!

[thedrawingduke]

Sorry if you've already talked about this before, but you've mentioned that Daroga/The Persian is incredibly important to the story of The Phantom of The Opera, and I was wondering if you would be willing to share your thoughts on why

The reason I ask is because you inspired me to write my own Phantom story (your Christian and Raoul give me life)

Please feel free to go on as long or short of a ramble as you want, and thank you for your time

I'm so glad you are working on your own Poto iteration! That's awesome <3 Best of luck <3

Oh boy--the man, the myth, the legend: Daroga. I do think he's incredibly important to the story, but I go back and forth on if it is possible to tell an effective Poto story without him. I mean, there have been so many adaptations that leave him out. But, I will argue this: someone always has to fill his shoes!

In terms of characters absolutely necessary for a Poto story (imho): you need an Erik, a Christine, and a witness/detective. Which...come to think of it...if I had to chose between Daroga and Raoul to fill that 3rd spot..........like if I could only chose one.....it wouldn't even be a competition, tbh. Funny to think about in hindsight because there was almost no Raoul in Fantomestein for this exact reason. I love that little guy, but there was a good while where he just Did Not Exist until I could come up a compelling enough reason for him to. :D

This is a tangent, but the way I see it: Christine doesn't need Raoul--but she does want him, and that's kind of the point. He's a tangible representation of freedom, an alternate future...but with the comfort and kinship of a shared past. I could write a whole essay on them and their dynamic--its fascinating (and very gothic in its own right)....but my Point is, you could arguably swap Raoul for any number of connections to "the real world" or freedom or symbology and I think the story would still work just fine.

The Daroga, on the other hand, is able to do so much in a short period of time (relatively, in the book). I feel like a car salesman talking about him--a lot of bang for your buck! The value on this guy! In no particular order:

He is practical, but deeply compassionate (for all parties).

Thus, he's a perfect foil for not only Erik but also Raoul AND Christine.

His pragmatism tempers/adds humor to Raoul's impetuous Loverboy-behavior (and let's be real, Raoul was not getting into/surviving that lair without intervention).

His relationship with Erik leaves room for intrigue whilst demystifying Erik just enough to establish how capable and dangerous he is. Does wonders for the world building and setting of the stakes.

His presence confirms (and he explicitly states) that Christine's compassion for Erik was not pure naiveté but perceptive, and virtuous--two qualities that everyone else (some readers included) doubted her capacity for! He forever has my allegiance for that last one.

There is so much that I don't think would've worked at all without him, both as a device and a person. He brings a level of nuance to the story that is refreshing and frankly necessary (especially when the topics of deformity/disability are on the table). I just think its a little bit of a shame, a little bit uncurious of so many adaptations to leave him out. I have had the best time crafting my own Daroga and I can't imagine Fantomestein without him so maybe I am just partial.

[unsoundedcomic]

Whumptober 2024 - 20 - "Emotional Angst"

((First part here))

Possessed of a barbarian but fatuous dignity, the Mmatont decided we heathen visitors unfit to meet his gods. Instead we met the sacrifice. Having left most of his blood smeared down the central corridor, he was now the colour of old snow, a fringe of the same grey pressed sweatily to his moribund brow. His eyes were too blue, like daubs of wet paint on a doll.

Silver caste. I knew with one glance at his shredded midsection that he'd be dead soon, but it felt rude to say. I kept my distance and waited for our guide to return. My friend was more excited.

"Woah there," Rahm soothed, darting towards the boy on invisible legs. He was coiled in the corner, surely in shock, breaths shallow and gaze half-lidded, fixed on something I was sure only he could see. Rahm knelt to feel his pulse, try to pry his arms from his stomach. "Who are you? Let me see your injury."

At first the boy didn't answer. Then a hard blink returned him to our shared reality, and he gave a start at my friend's complexion.

"Creshit!" The word exploded from him like the curse it is in the Northlands. "Creshit!"

"Perhaps he is not interested in a relationship, Raptor!"

Undeterred, Rahm reached out again, but the Silver would not be still. "He'll bleed out faster if you continue to vex him. The Soud called him a trespasser captured for their god. I think if we are to be courteous guests and responsible researchers that we must observe-- but not disturb. You'll stain your coat with blood besides, and we are very far from a competent laundress."

"It is barbarous!" Rahm protested. He looked to me for a reaction I am afraid it was not in my nature to display. "What manner of senet is their god? What manner of monster?"

"I do not know, but in my vast experience with monsters, a gentleman is best served to remain on their good side. Leave its entrée be."

Betimes I did love the Raptor's righteousness. By day he bore on his shoulders responsibility for all of Ethelmik's spellwrights. An upright man of the crown, honest and reliable as the pole star. But by night, and in his idle hours… oh, a mouthy and licentious bird perched near his ear and he did not demur to its gifts nor its advances. All because…

Ah, yes.

The Silver did seem that age.

"He's not yours," I said. Rahm was watching the poor fool and seeing someone else. Another boy struck down not so very long ago. An overzealous son he'd been powerless to save. "He's not yours. He…" Somewhere in the aether hung proper poetry that would soothe a father's grieving heart; but I had not worn heels today; it was beyond my reach.

After some time the Soud returned with two men. Bloody knives were stuck carelessly through their girdles. Showy butchers, these, which made them seem to me clownish and base. But I was not the one they grabbed and carried away. And I was glad enough that our torch-bearing Soud directed us down a separate hall. We found less blood there, but even less light. I felt my spirits dampen and Rahm had retreated to his thoughts.

Perhaps inviting him on this little quest had been a mistake. Iori had told me as much but she was hysterically protective of the man, stifling as the swollen quilted cloak she'd sent him away in. Yes, their son had died, but men died every day! In fact it too often takes the death of someone we love to wake us to the reality of our own mortality! Rahm's heart was blackened, yet from the forest fire, always such vibrant gardens grew. He would be inspired to do greater things than run that piss-poor and dying town!

Death was the gods' crime. But the impetus of a great mind!

In hindsight I realise I was very fortunate that our environment at the time distracted me from giving any of this voice. I was still brilliant then, but it was a wild brilliance. My forest fire still was smouldering. The garden had burst through the ash but I had not yet learned how to cut it back.

Our guide removed a ring of keys from his belt. I was delighted. Keys! How quaint to a spellwright, who could pass through solid substance like a fly through a beaded curtain-

But this door before us was a DOOR. Thrice my height and ten times the width of my shoulders, I could feel its strange effect on the khert through even my obtunded Jet palms. And how beautifully carved it was! Roots and lizards, mushrooms and leaves, drooping pink flowers strew across it like a fumbled box of sweets...

One of the lizards scampered from the Soud's torchlight. Then the leaves rustled.

No! This was not pymary and no glamour. This door was not carved at all. We stood before a portal of living wood! A vital growing slab of First Timber, its branches braided and intertwined like a woman's hair, its rich green boughs thirstily drinking the newcome fire glow.

"Amazing," whispered Rahm. He splayed his gnarled and ringed fingers against it impossible lustre. The Soud laughed at we simpletons, reached for a lock hidden deep inside the branches. With the celerity of long custom, he pushed the magical gateway open, then closed it behind us. Its report was a weighty, whispery sigh; the queerest noise, and I have not since heard its like again. We foreign wrights with our fish faces all agape were ushered deeper into the mountain.

"Look there," my friend directed. I followed his gesture. The ceiling here was low stone, but throughout we spied roots no thicker than a pencil burrowing as if through pavement. They connected in some unseen way with the door, but also disappeared ahead of us, veering here and there into other locked passages. A senet network of roots - like a khert-hub network! - joining this entire buried facility together.

Marvellous. Rahm grunted humourlessly. "The Wand'ring Roots didn't go extinct, Bastion; they retired north."

"At least one of them," I agreed, "Strange sort of senet to make a god. Can they even fuck it?" I said it to coax a rise from him, but his expression was impenetrable. I relented and added: "How do they know what it wants?"

"That's never stopped the Gefendur."

A second door of Living Wood soon arose, but at this one's centre lay embedded an abstrusely designed lock of… First Timber, I think. I could not recognise the texture. The pymaric appeared wholly separate from the door itself which indicated to me it was an ensorcelled lock rather than another that accepted a primitive key. These savages were savvier than the torches and gory knives led one to expect. The Soud laid his palm flush and began a spell: "Heed me Great Khert…"

But then I confess, by the Lady's half dozen, he followed the invocation with words I did not know! Lord Bastion Winalils, well down the jagged road to becoming one of the greatest spellwrights to ever live in this blighted world, did not know this pissmop's fucking spellsong! "Are you speaking backwards," I asked him in disbelief, "Are you trying to be a clever big sod? Is this some bespoke gruftgramary to cloak a cypher?"

The Soud ignored me-- infuriating! The passion of the child denied and the scholar frustrated invigorated me to all but grab his yellow hair and beat an answer out him!

Old Tainish - the language of our arts - is long dead and supplanted by the New, but all the time we wrights are turning over ancient sources looking for lost vocabulary. New Material references are valuable - there are many southern animals that simply cannot be directly targetted because the Northern Tains and their Tainish had no word for them - but most valuable are the lost operations. We know today from surviving texts by the conquered old nation's priests and academics that pymary once had more expansive uses - uses that we think only were possible with operations or perhaps entire packages that were lost when the old Aldish kings razed their lands. Once in a very great while, this technology is rediscovered, and on those bright days the world sings in celebration.

You must understand, dear reader, that these discoveries are true revelation. These discoveries enable pymaric technologies that save lives, that better lives, that drag Man by inches up from the muck. Little children could be choking and dying of the Weeping Plague today - at this moment! - who might otherwise be saved by treatments developed from a pymaric operation recorded on mouldering sheepskin at the bottom of some ancient Tainish wine cask.

The Soud finished his spell. A jaunty musical response tinkled from the unlocked door. "You'll find answers here," he invited, sweeping his arm towards the black room beyond. It smelled unfathomably old. "And no answers at all."

((Last part here))

[togglesbloggle]

I'm glad my Lamarck post is still going around and getting attention, but it's kind of surprising how enthusiastic people are in the comments about the idea of epigenetics- that is, that genetic expression can be altered in different ways by environmental factors, which is not dissimilar from the idea of inherited characteristics. This is funny, because it's an essay about how inherited characteristics aren't properly Lamarckian, but rather, that inherited characteristics are a feature of human thought about the living world that goes back millennia or more, an assumption that he simply absorbed and echoed from the default claims of his time.

I don't get my hair mussed about this as such. Audience is gonna audience, and it's very easy to add on "and also epigenetics!" in support of an essay defending Lamarck. Harder to think deeply about the fact that if inherited characteristics aren't Lamarckian, then Lamarck can't be vindicated by them any more than he can be condemned for them. So of course there's more of the former than the latter. But it does highlight some of the quirks of the process.

It's pretty clear, in an interesting way, that the idea of environmentally influenced genetics is something that people find exciting and compelling, and they're eager to make it a load-bearing part of their story of the world. We're excited to believe that our experiences can change 'who we are' even on a chemical level. That's a funny little echo of the same pre-modern biology that Lamarck and Darwin were in the process of changing, which I suppose should be no great surprise; absent the rigor of Baconian scientific methods, pre-modern scholars talking about biology would be pretty likely to converge on the most emotionally satisfying claims, and anything that echoes those claims as a question of fact (like epigenetics) is going to receive outsized attention.

A reminder, I suppose, that our biology remains a profound locus of moral sensibilities for many of us, in unexpected and subtle ways. Naively, I wouldn't have expected this to be one of the things that people need to be true- but I suppose it's obvious enough in hindsight. To be a body, a thing subject to the laws of nature, and not fully the authors of ourselves... it's a scary thing. Houseman said it rather beautifully:

The laws of God, the laws of man, He may keep that will and can; Not I: let God and man decree Laws for themselves and not for me; And if my ways are not as theirs Let them mind their own affairs. Their deeds I judge and much condemn, Yet when did I make laws for them? Please yourselves, say I, and they Need only look the other way. But no, they will not; they must still Wrest their neighbor to their will, And make me dance as they desire With jail and gallows and hell-fire. And how am I to face the odds Of man’s bedevilment and God’s? I, a stranger and afraid In a world I never made. They will be master, right or wrong; Though both are foolish, both are strong. And since, my soul, we cannot fly To Saturn nor to Mercury, Keep we must, if keep we can, These foreign laws of God and man.

But of course, Houseman was wrong too. Fly to Saturn with me, if you can!

[threepandas]

Bad End: Stolen

I was furious.

Terrified. Completely enraged. Sick to my stomach. Overwhelmed and yet expected to function. To keep my shaking hands smooth and screaming thoughts orderly. All I wanted to do want scream. Cry. Destroy and destroy, weep and RAGE.

Then hide in a closet under blankets until the monsters went away.

But... but he wasn't going too, was he?

"Ah, my honored Sister, how good of you to join me." Greets the murderer before me, voice cool and smooth like the scales of a snake. There is a gleefully victorious lilt to that voice. A curling possessiveness to the title.

I am not his sister. We are not ever REMOTELY related. It is not even a matter of me disowning him for what he's down. It is simple truth. We are not, by blood, related. We were not RAISED together. Our relation? A farce. A legal machination by my... my Father, oh gods... No! Don't get swallowed by the memories! T-The blood. Focus!!

Fafnir is... WAS just one of many promising, talented, ambitious young men with no father's that DEFINITELY were my Father's bastard sons, no really. He most certainly wasn't COLLECTING meritorious youth into our house, under his name, and training them up with his wealth and influence. To bypass the bullshit class system and give them a chance at better lives!

Maybe suggest they pay it forward.

My father would never be so duplicitous. No, no, he was just a very lustful man... that no one ever saw going out to have sex. Who's wife had never been the least bit upset with him. And to whom he was fiercely loyal. Yes. Very, very lustful my father... w-was.

It was just while the family continued it's work on opening up opportunities for the lower classes. Jobs and better quality of life. Hospitals and schools. Fighting against those who benefited from nothing changing. It was slow. Like pulling teeth. The work of lifetimes, he'd said. I... I was expected to help continue it.

I'd been GLAD too. So utterly RELIEVED I was reborn into a house with some fucking sense of RESPONSIBILITY. Duty and honor and taking care of people! Building up social services! I had grand plans. Even after recognizing, a little alarmed, that I was on the fringe of a god damned OTOME game of all things.

One I barely remembered. Had played, loved most likely, as a preteen. A literal lifetime ago.

It didn't effect me, right? I wasn't here for boys or parties. Politics or fanciful dreams. Let someone else have their lace filled, flower coated, high drama adventures of love. I had late night paperwork and community research. Surprise to orphanages and hospitals to insure their was no corruption or mischief going on.

That one health clinic in Oakworth that took forever to get going.

Except...

Except??

Fafnir was a capture target! Which is why it took me forever to realize. As he had been so very small and filthy at first. Then merely small and in poor health. Short hair because his poor hair had been beyond saving. We passed by each other. Nodded, maybe exchanged pleasantries, but did not truely interact.

He lived in the dorms. I lived in the main house. He was basicly a student my father was paying to have taught, using our name. I was my father's actual daughter. We may have LEGALLY been related. LEGALLY brother and sister. But in actuality? We were no such thing.

Honestly, most of the "Sons"? Kept their original last names in day to day life.

Or at least... they did.

I.. I think I had shit taste, as a preteen. That or my luck has finally run out. Maybe it was my family's fortune, that finally could no longer best the odds. After all, there is always one. That ONE soul. Who sees something good and doesn't care about anything or anyone but themselves. Ruins things for everyone.

As long as they get their's, right?

A sea of motivated and ambitious young men. Trying to change their station in life. Have Better and MORE. Change the world around them. Leave their marks. Is... ha! Is it any wonder, in hindsight, that our luck eventually gave out? It was always going too. I guess Fafnir just wanted MORE.

He was supposed to go to the Royal Academy, fall in love. Compete against prince's and duke's, knights and heirs to merchant companies. All for the heart of the only daughter of a Ducal house, that had been (of course) raised by peasants. A carriage accident and presumed death cliché.

I honestly couldn't even remember his route. I might have read about it. But had never PLAYED it. He had had short hair, all but two had. So I played the foriegn prince route, even though he was kind of an ass. He was a handsome one at least. At least to me. It was just, I had never... still never...

I liked men with long hair.

Something which I had never told anyone.

Yet? As Fafnir grew? He did not transition into the character I remembered, like the others had. He grew his hair out. Became not only fiercely protective of it, but invested in higher quality products to care for it. Discovered my favorite perfume maker and commissioned a cologne for himself, that would mix well with the scent I always wore. Systematically tracked down each and everything I've ever liked, behind my back, to consume and memorize every facet of them.

I was blind to it.

My Father was not.

And... a-and... it cost him his life.

Father was not pleased with want he saw. But assumed it was a crush at first. We were young after all. Young people do weird, awkward, over the line things. Are learning about boundaries even as they grapple with sudden floods of hormonal shifts. A terrible time, really. It could be excused. As long as it didn't go TOO far. So long as someone sat Fafnir down for a talk.

They did.

He got more subtle.

A cycle developed. One my Father was not pleased to see. Fafnir would cross boundaries, be caught, get scolded, and contritely apologize... then get more subtle in his approach. Be more clever. As though all he had learned was "don't get caught". and "if you want to get, what you want to have, you need to have the skills to get passed us."

He grew concerned. Eventually, alarmed. I had thought nothing of it, back then, because "of COURSE he was supposed to go" to the Royal Academy? But... we honestly, really, Truely? HADN'T sent anyone there before. And there HAD been far more skilled boy then him. Prodigies.

But... my favorite ribbon necklace had gone missing.

From the room where I slept.

Overnight.

My Father took one look at Fafnir's pleased expression amongst the chaos and needed no further proof. He would not kick him out. Far too dangerous, he thought. But he WOULD send him away. Now?

Now I wish he'd risked it. Because... because everyone was dead. Struck down by the monster we let into our home. And by ancient law, which we both KNEW he was planning to exploit? This was a... a "family matter". Because, after all, we WERE legally family. Members of the same House.

"Such hesitation, Sister. You'd think I was a threat." He muses into his cup of tea, swirling it lightly. His eyes flit back to me, lips curling just slightly. "Don't worry, though. I understand completely. I would never hurt you."

But he would hurt others. He already has. Most of them didn't survive it. Ha ha... like a brutal yank on some unseen leash. I want to cry. Not sure if this is what shock feels like. But yes, thank you, for the lovely remind, Fafnir. That you have filled my home with bodies. The corpses of those I loved.

I use what little dignity I have left to walk forward and sit down.

Oh look, he has utterly ruined all my favorite things in one blow. There, my favorite tea. That, my favorite flower. Across the table my favorite snacks. Even a few favorite fruits. A dish or two. My favorite cup. And now? N..NOW? All I will every be able to associate with them is death. The stench of copper and the horror of this moment.

The joy of them is gone.

"See? Isn't that better? No more standing awkwardly to the side. Now we can sit, face to magnificent face. I've brought you a few things I know you'll enjoy. Isn't that nice? I've wanted to do this for the longest time." He sighs in contentment, as though this were no more then a matter of busy schedules and social anxiety. "And now? Now we are finally together. Siblings for now, but I am working to fix that. And if i can't, well..."

His smirk was a thing of nightmares.

"I'm head of the house now. You're finally Mine."

[1moremilgram-enjoyer]

Your (Curtain) Call - Thoughts

Hey, it's been a while, huh? But the call of plot progression was too exciting for me to remain silent any longer. Trial 3 baby here we go!!!

And what a way to kick off the trial! There sure is a fair bit to talk about, so let's do just that.

CW: Murder, suicide, suicide threats, psychological torture (Unforgiven votes)

General Thoughts

WOOOO MILGRAM TRIAL 3 IS COMING!!! The excitement is through the roof!!! I am very desensitized to character deaths so my desire for more content currently supersedes the sadness I am feeling!!!! Still, without any other info on T3 atm, I should probably talk about the thing we do have, no?

First thing to establish, I'm going in with the assumption that the three who didn't show up in Your (Curtain) Call are just dead, because I see no reason to believe otherwise. So, Haruka, Shidou and Mahiru are gone.

I'm frankly not all that surprised. Like, we knew what Haruka was gonna do from the moment Muu's verdict came out Unforgiven, the conversation Mahiru had with Kotoko in Kotoko's last birthday made it pretty clear she wasn't going to last much longer, and Shidou's death was always on the table when Amane's voting period finally closed. The big question was whether the writers would commit to killing off the characters before the true start of T3, and I'm actually kinda glad the answer to that was yes. Obviously I would have appreciated more time with them, and I sincerely hope against hope that we still get a T3 song for all of them, but the deaths are a good way to send the message to the audience that yes, consequences exist in Milgram, and yes, they're very serious.

Basically I'm actually kinda chilling, but that may just be because I... Look I like all the Milgram characters, but these three were never my favorites. I appreciated them, I enjoyed their existence and discussing them, but I'm ultimately more attached to other characters. So, in a sense, I kinda lucked out. Very sorry to those who can't say the same.

Where We Go From Here

Now, before talking about where I think we may go from here, I'm going to talk a bit about the verdicts that led to this. But since this is a contentious topic, I'll establish a few things that I'm sure you're all aware about, but bear repeating just in case.

-I don't believe there are any "right" or "wrong" verdicts, just those which I agree or disagree with. The decisions are difficult and multi-faceted, and usually had to be made with limited information. We're all trying our best here, so even if you disagree with someone else' perspective, it's important to remain respectful of it. If at any point in this post I come off as insulting to anyone else's choices, I apologize, it's not my intention.

-Hindsight is 20/20, but that means it's a distorted perspective. No one was completely certain of many things throughout the voting process. Even if things turned out exactly how you thought they would, or nothing happened like you hoped it might, keep in mind that no one could be 100% sure of some things before the release of Your (Curtain) Call. Basically, going "I told you so" doesn't help anyone.

-At the end of the day, these are fictional characters. It's perfectly fine to be emotionally invested in them, and feel strongly about their fates, but perspective is important. No one actually died, no one's hurt. You can regret your choices or be upset at the verdicts, but keep in mind it's ultimately just a web series.

With that established, the voting. Now, the arguments about Forgiven or Unforgiven have already been had and I have little interest in repeating discussions from the past. But I've never talked much about some of these verdicts here, and I know some of you may be interested in knowing my perspective on them and how I feel about them. Again, the following is simply my opinion, no better than yours, we're gonna disagree on some things and that's fine.

Haruka, Shidou and Mahiru will never get to react to their T2 verdicts in earnest. The verdicts to discuss, then, are Muu's and Amane's from T2, and Mahiru's and Kotoko's from T1. Obviously there's other verdicts involved here, but those are the most pressing ones in my eyes.

-I don't agree with the Unforgiven Muu verdict, and I held that opinion for a long time before Your (Curtain) Call released. I fully understand why it happened, I'm not upset it happened, and I don't hold it against anyone who voted her Unforgiven, but I respectfully disagree with the decision.

Of course, it's easy to say I would have Forgiven her when we now know for sure it would have avoided a death, but an Unforgiven vote was always way more dangerous than a Forgiven vote. Sure, Haruka, could have survived the attempt, but the best way to guarantee his safety would have been Forgiving Muu. That's why I held this opinion before the release of Your (Curtain) Call, even if I don't think I ever mentioned it.

Mind you, a Forgiven vote came with its own risks. It would have enforced a very dangerous mindset on Muu's part, and bending to the suicide threat would have enabled Haruka's self-destructive and manipulative tendencies. He probably would have made the same threat in T3 if we'd let him have his way. This is one of many reasons why I understand the verdict.

But those are things that can be dealt with once everyone's out of the hell prison; death isn't. And while it's true that an Unforgiven vote is the only way we have to get across to Muu that she did a bad thing, that doesn't mean we have to take it. Especially since mentally torturing a teenager to get a point across is... morally dubious, on its face. There's no shame in admitting we lack the tools to properly help someone and stepping back to focus on damage control, as helping without the proper tools can do more harm than good.

Again, though, that's my perspective, one which comes from someone who can only talk about the vote in hindsight as I wasn't around when the voting was actually happening. So, it should be taken with a lot of salt. I sincerely hope those who didn't Forgive her get what they wanted out of the verdict and that Muu will become a better person because of it in some way, even if I have my doubts about it. What's done is done, we should just hope for the best now.

-The Amane vote was a lot harder, because neither option came with a guarantee of safety, and neither option came with a guarantee of death. The setup was always there for a Forgiven Amane to kill Shidou (which is what I assume happened), but there was also setup for someone like Kazui saving him. It was entirely possible that Shidou could have survived with injuries, and just because it didn't happen, we shouldn't forget that it seemed like a real possibility at the time.

That isn't to say I blame Kazui or even Shidou or anyone else for what happened. Trusting a child isn't a crime, and people shouldn't have to be babysitting Shidou the whole time. The fault is entirely on the people who raised Amane, the audience who allowed her freedom of movement, and Amane herself.

In the same vein, an Unforgiven vote could have carried no inter-prisoner fatalities, but it would have been Amane's second Unforgiven, meaning there was a real possibility she'd die. We don't know how that works, after all. I don't even find it particularly likely, but it's a real concern that I took into account.

Basically, unlike Muu's vote where one option was clearly safer than the other (in my eyes), Amane's vote was a gamble either way, and we had no way to genuinely tell what the odds of Shidou's death (and Mahiru's, as we believed back then that they were linked) on a Forgiven vote were compared to the odds of an Amane death on Unforgiven.

Which is why I don't regret voting Amane Forgiven. We can speculate on what we'd do with the information we have now and the information we may get later, but with the information we had at the time, I find it a perfectly reasonable decision. If the information we'd had was different, and you could guarantee that no one would die to an Unforgiven vote and that Shidou would absolutely die on a Forgiven, I might have ended up voting Amane Unforgiven. It would have hurt me a lot and I'd feel gross doing it, but I stand by the principle that preserving human life is always the priority.

However, such a guarantee didn't exist. So I had to weigh the possibility of life and death against the other aspects of the vote. And to put it bluntly, I've never personally found any Unforgiven argument unrelated to Shidou's safety to be particularly convincing. We've seen what an Unforgiven vote does for Amane, and it's not good. I sincerely doubt that doing the same thing again would carry different results.

Also, there's another reason I found voting Amane Forgiven when Shidou could die easier to justify than Not Forgiving Muu when that could get Haruka killed: it's just easier to sell me on a Forgiven vote than an Unforgiven vote. That's a personal bias I'm aware of, but not one I particularly mind having and acting upon. Hot take, mentally torturing teenagers is Bad actually, and should be avoided whenever possible.

-I didn't talk about Mahiru much in the previous section, because I'm pretty sure she was dead from T1.

[2024/12/15 Timeline] Mahiru: I also have to, say my thanks, to Shidou-san. Kotoko: I can’t even laugh at how carefree you are, going out of your way to call me over. Well...... if you have any grudges in your last moments, I guess I’d consider listening.

In this recent timeline,, Mahiru talks about Shidou as if he's still alive, but Kotoko seems pretty convinced Mahiru's not going to last much longer. This seems to imply, at least to me, that Shidou wouldn't have been able to keep Mahiru alive for T3 even if he hadn't gotten stabbed by the child. She was likely just kept alive to explore her character further before killing her off.

Now, I don't hold any votes cast against anyone in general, but I especially don't hold anything against the votes from T1. From my understanding, that was the wild wild west when it came to voting, as there was no precedent for what the votes would actually do. I don't even know what I would have voted Mahiru, since by the time I joined the fandom, the consequences of the voting had already been made relatively clear. I have no basis for what I would have taken into account when it came to casting votes in T1.

That said, I would have voted Kotoko Forgiven, probably. I tend to trust fictional characters more than I probably should, and the partnership she offered in TASK sounded quite appealing when we had no precedent for inter-prisoner violence beyond John Doe. HARROW made it look (at least to me) that Kotoko did a lot of research before attacking her victims, so I'd have given her the benefit of the doubt and thought she wouldn't attack the others until she learnt more about their crimes. Without Deep Cover, there wasn't any reason to believe she had that info at the time. Clearly, I'd have enabled the bullshit that happened in the T1-T2 intermission. Oops.

Okay that's way too much yapping about things that no longer matter. The votes are cast, the decisions are made, we move. What's next?

Well, that would be discussing how these deaths affect our choices moving forward. I don't feel like speculating on how characters are going to act in T3 when it's likely we're gonna get more info on that soon anyways (I can't believe it!!!), but what are my plans for voting?

Well, you can probably guess, but I'm hoping for an inno sweep. Unless we get confirmation on what our votes are gonna do before casting them, the possibility that a T3 Unforgiven will kill the character is too dangerous for me to consider that, unless there's some reason to believe a Forgiven vote would also carry risk of death. I think I've made it clear that I don't usually find the mental torture that an Unforgiven vote carries to be particularly helpful, so unless the consequences of the vote change, full Forgiven is probably the best we can hope for. I really doubt it's going to be so simple, of course, but I can't comment further without more info on the trial. I'm very excited to see how they try to avoid the full Forgiven sweep over at MILGRAM HQ (?).

And I'll actually get to vote for all of them this time! Well, the ones who are alive, anyways. Yippie!!!

On a completely unrelated note; really love the title of the video. The play on "your call" (your decision) and "your curtain call" (the end) is fun.

I wonder what other routes would have been called, though. Because obviously you can't have a name for every possible combination of T1 and T2 verdicts, so you need general names like Your (Curtain) Call for most of them. I kinda wanna know what decisions could have led to a different route name. If I feel like it, I might make a post with some other route ideas for the fun of it. But I have like a bajillion posts I want to write on my main still, so. God knows when that would come out.

Alright I've evidently run out of meaningful things to say. Hope you enjoyed this massive rambling session, that you don't hate me if you disagree with my opinions, all that stuff. In any case, thanks for reading, see ya'!

[criminal-sen]

I've been fucking up so much today bc of a stupid migraine that will Not go away- locked myself out of my apartment (I realized this the SECOND I closed my door, which was a second too late ofc) and had to crawl back in thru a window that I luckily hadn't locked up. I don't worry too much about this window for security reasons bc allll my plants are in front of it, meaning a thief would either have to make a bunch of noise toppling everything over, or spend several minutes standing conspicuously outside, carefully sliding tables out of their way

Then later I finished ringing all my groceries up at the store and realized I'd forgotten my wallet. Which wasn't merely in my car but allll the way back home. Like cool the thing I want to do the most when I'm nauseous is obviously to drive around in a vehicle. So I'm glad I got to do that even more than necessary

The clerk was nice about it tho and even he/himmed me, not bc of Proboun Respect reasons, she was 100% just guessing lol. I did however notice another clerk who's usually friendly to me on his break- and he was wearing a coat with a blue lives matter flag on it. Very unsurprising in this area, just never gets less shitty to see

Anyway my reward for Doing Tasks was a pack of extremely greasy frozen food that sounded really good before I ate them and even tasted good while eating. But in hindsight I am having. some regrets

[nyx-thedragon]

Newsies opening night - outcome

so, like i said in my last post about my town high school's Newsies production, i am here to tell you about how opening night went!!

firstly, OH MY GOD THESE KIDS DID AMAZING IT WAS SOOOOO GOOD I LOWKEY GOT CHILLS FROM A COUPLE SONGS AND I WAS TEARING UP A FEW TIMES AND I WAS BASICALLY VIBRATING WITH EXCITEMENT THE WHOLE TIME IT WAS SO GOOD IM SO PROUD OF ALL OF THEM ESPECIALLY MY BROTHERS THEY ALL DID INCREDIBLE!!!!!

i was really worried about our Jack Kelly and how he'd do, moreso if he'd be able to hit the high notes, BUT HE DID IT AND HE SLAYED AND IM SO HAPPY!! he had to jump into his falsetto for some of the high notes, but he still hit them and it was so good!!! the lack of accent wasn't as bad as i thought it would be, and he did a really good job being Jack!

one thing i wasn't expecting from the show was that, okay, so, you all know that Jack and Katherine kiss a few times in the show, and i was prepared for that, obviously, and i figured they would do stage kisses, and they did! for the first two. the last one where they kiss and the other newsies see WAS A REAL ONE AND NO ONE WAS EXPECTING IT THE REACTION WAS AMAZING OH MY GODS I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR AN ACTUAL KISS!!! especially bc the guy playing Jack is gay, which, obviously in hindsight doesn't really matter because it's just acting, but still!!!

it was so crazy and i'm so glad i was recording around that part and got the audience's reaction. i recorded many videos, mainly of funny lines that i knew were gonna be said and also the songs, but unfortunately i cannot share them with you all because i think that would be illegal and also i immoral bc i don't have consent from the cast. but Trust and Believe they were all amazing.

(i might see if Bird would be okay with me posting the video of him singing "Letter From the Refuge" because it was just him on stage and he was incredible and i was actually tearing up bro he was so good i'm so proud of him!!!!)

Bear did amazing as Les, too!!! his first role in high schol theater being a main one is so cool and i'm so proud of him!!! either my mom or the director, i can't remember which, said that people were asking like 'where did they find this kid? he's really good' and they were like shocked when they were told he was a freshman! he's been in productions before in the past, but he hasn't for a few years and i think he really missed it. also, the casting for Davey and Les were pretty perfect because Bear and the guy cast as Davey, we'll call him K again, look kinda similar, like they look like they could be real brothers it's awesome!

speaking of Davey; THIS GUY IS SO GOOD!!! i've known that he's been a great actor since we did "Charlie Brown" together but man Davey is like the perfect role for him!! he embodied the character soooo well and there were a couple lines and moments where he said something and i was like 'wow, that was soo Ben Fankhauser in the proshot!' like the speech at the rally, his mannerisms were really similar and he was just soooooo good!!!

Racetrack, played by Bird's friend, D, was incredible, especially during "King of New York" he was fucking killing it, both vocally and the tap dancing!! he and Bear did a fun little 'trust fall then push into a spin' thing for Les's line "my very own bed and an indoor terlet" it was really fun!! D just fucking became Racetrack Higgens when he got up on that stage and it was AMAZING!!!! honestly i wouldn't be surprised to see him on Broadway some day! (he also did a handstand and held it for a good amount of time in one of the songs; i think it was "Sieze the Day" but i could be wrong)

a few other highlights: Pulitzer did amazing, Spot Conlon and "Brooklyn's Here" !!!!!!!, the scene where Crutchie got caught and arrested was soooooo good!!! mom and dad had to leave after that scene to get ready to run the concessions and mom said that it looked so real that she was tearing up and had to remind herself that it was just a show, and it really did seem so real!!!! the director's husband jumped in to be Roosevelt at the end, and he did really good!!

really quickly i'm gonna touch on a few things that "went wrong" in the show, even though they weren't really that big of a deal and everyone loved the show anyway.

first, there were a few kinda dead spots where someone missed a cue or forgot a line or something, but those were pretty rare and the actors saved it via improvising lines so i didn't really notice. there was one or two issues with props and the background, but they weren't really noticeable; the only one that really looked weird was that the actress playing Weasel had to hold up the sign with the new price of papers because they couldn't get it to clip onto the scaffolding it was supposed to for whatever reason.

Davey's mic stopped working for a bit, and he didn't have it for the entirety of "Watch What Happens (Reprise)" and the scene before, but K was really good with the projection. my mom said that she could hear him clearly all the way in the back where she and dad were sitting. the song was a little off because you couldn't hear his part of the harmony but it still went very well!!

Bear said that during KONY he was supposed to stand on a chair in the back holding up a paper, but they didn't have one so he just stood back there holding his hands up, which still worked anyway.

okay, now back to some more praise! you could tell that everyone really liked KONY, they were having fun with it and everyone did the tap dancing really well!! it was so fun and i was having a great time!! "Once and for All", which i was excited for the whole time, was sooooooo incredible i got chills!!!!! and there were some folks doing flips and gymnastic stuff, because some of them are cheerleaders i think, and it was just sooo cool!! ugh i can't even properly express how much fun i had and how good the songs and acting and everything was!!!!!!

i'm so excited to watch it again tonight, hopefully i can get some better angles for some of the songs/scenes i didn't get very well last night. i'm going on Sunday night as well, the last performance, and i'm gonna try to get as much of the cast to sign my program as i can.

this show is just so good and everyone did incredibly well! they were still doing some last minute things before the show, apparently, but you couldn't even tell!! i'm so proud of everyone and you can tell how hard they've worked to make it a great show. I'm so glad that it didn't crash and burn.

i might share some things from tonight's performance if anything is different, but maybe not. anyway, i love newsies, i'm so proud of these kids, and i'm so excited to see it again!!

[bloodsuckerproxy]

Making of my Crochet Kigurumi Fursuit Head!

I have found little info online that helps fully explain how to make a Kigurumi Fursuit Head, so I am posting not only how I made my own, but linking tutorials that helped me!

I went about making my head in a nontraditional fashion. Most kig heads are made from layers of plastic, foam, fur, and a helmet to help secure everything on you. I didnt do that, since I have little resources and money. Plus, I have tons of sensory issues and am disabled, so I needed something lighter and more flexible. I wanted to push myself to see if I could make a kig head with my knowledge of crochet.

Disclaimer: This is my first ever tutorial and kigu head and I didnt take as many photos as I liked, so feel free to ask any questions uwu

I used this piece I drew as a base for everything, but as I made my kig head, I ended up changing things and adding more stuff. But this is the blueprint.

Let us start with the face!

The face is the easiest part. There are actually TONS of tutorials on how to fur a kig head, which is really the only part of the head you can find in abundance. Many people use Minky fabric for the base of the head, but I opted for Anti-Pill Fleece since it is easier for me to find and it is cheaper.

I got a bit excited and started doing the makeup and such right after adding the fur to the face, which in hindsight I dont recommend. I had to fix up the makeup, so maybe wait until the hair is done before you do the face! I will talk more about the face later, but for now the rest of the head.

I crocheted a hat with long sides out of plain acrylic yarn. I was inspired by this tutorial , since I was considering doing a full mask before I decided to opt out of that. I just added more rows until the hat fit me. I have crocheted plenty of hats over the years, so this wasnt very hard for me.

If you find a tutorial online to make a simple hat using a magic circle, make the hat fit you, then just add some rows in the back until I looks like a helmet or weird bob wig lol. It doesnt have to be perfect by any means. I do think using a color similar to the hair color you want is best though. Most of my character is white, so I opted for white.

I put the hat on, then hot glued the mask on where the foreheads meet. Since I used a Half Double Crochet for my hat, there are little to no holes in the hat, meaning the hot glue didnt seep through and burn me, but still be careful!!

Then I pulled the hat and mask off, gluing the sides of the hat/helmet on to the mask. I was HEAVILY inspired by this creator and their video of how they made their kigu head. They used an old balaclava, while I used a crocheted hat.

There is the base!!

Next I crocheted some ears for my character, I used this Bra Cup Tutorial for the shape in order to make cute, large triangle ears for my lamb character. I knew the ears would get in the way, so I made them first so I knew how much hair I would need to later add.

I made a matching red triangle and white triangle, stacked them, then crocheted around it to secure them together. I used this video as inspo for it, but used my own shape instead. I did quite a few rounds and honestly didnt count. I kept going until the size looked good. Then I sewed them to my hat/helmet base.

~~~~~

Now for the hair/wig portion!

I knew you could use acrylic yarn for doll hair, but I never considered using yarn for a whole wig. Turns out its a thing! So I made some yarn wefts and began to brush them out. There are tons of tutorials on Youtube about yarn wig for dolls or people. This one helped me the most.

The main thing you want to keep in mind is the length will be much shorter once you finish brushing out the yarn, as is the nature of yarn. I made all my yarn really long and ended up cutting most of it in the end for my character, but I am glad I went longer overall.

I just used a cat brush and comb to comb out the wefts. Then I sewed on the wefts to the crocheted hat. I used pink thread for the first weft, but moved to white since it blended in better.

You can see I made lines of where my wefts would go on the hat. I just followed along and made tons of wefts until the head was full. Then I styled the hair how I wanted!

~~~~

The Face and last minute details!!

As you can see, I added a lot to the face. I used mostly acrylic paint markers, with little touches of eyeshadow to add a faint blush and such.

For the eyes, I followed tons of Follow-Me eye tutorials online and copied. I used the paint markers to paint them on some thick mixed media paper, but you could easily have them printed on cardstock or mesh online. I just used what I had!

The lashes are made from simple black arts and crafts foam. Very cheap stuff. Some people use 3D printed lashes or fur, but I like the cartoony look more. The fangs are also foam.

As for the studs and horns, I had them already and just glued them on. I painted the horns to match my eyes and added glitter glue to make them sparkle!! :D

I also glued the bangs down so they would always look pretty!!

Finally, I added tons of cute earrings and accessories to make my character even cuter. I have lots of jewelry and some I dont wear or dont like how they look on me, so I used them for this instead!

I also crocheted some little hoove gloves as well... but I made it up on the fly and dont fully remember how I made them lol. I have been crocheting a long time and sometimes I just make things up!!

~~~~

Final results!!

This is the final result! I think Yu came out super cute, even if she looks different from my ref sheet. I think she looks even cuter in this version!!!

In total, this entire head and hooves cost me about $80 and 5 full days of time.

I had a lot of the supplies already and the knowledge of crocheting. Also the time it took me was a bit long since I did have to trial and error some things.

If you know minimally how to crochet a hat and a little bit about sewing, you could make this work!! The longest part was the hair by far, so expect a long of brushing if you do the yarn wig route!!

I hope to do more in the future and maybe I will do an updated tutorial one day :D!! Cheers!!

[fiaistired]

the hbomberguy video really made me rethink my approach to watching content - especially educational and/or political content on youtube. I was one of Somertons lowest tier patreons as i believed he was making some pretty good stuff. I’m a patreon of a few more people, but my funds aren’t excessive so i do sift through who i want to support financially and it’s been incredibly disappointing to learn about Somertons blatant theft. I never really cared about watching his livestreams or videos talking to the audience, nor did i look at his twitter so i didn’t really even have a place to see other people calling him out before. It sucks.

I am glad for the lesson though. Watching video essays especially ones that give me new information and ideas about subjects i’m interested in should lead me to checking out the sources the videos are based on, instead of mindlessly consuming and passively agreeing with points being made.

I’m also glad for the playlist of creators hbomberguy recommended in his video, a lot of which i was already subscribed to, but a lot of whom i didn’t know yet but am ready to get to know

i would also like to add another sad realization; with the benefit of hindsight i now realize how much misogyny there was in his videos. the perspectives of women were almost always omitted or very sparse which i sort of unconsciously explained to myself as „oh he’s a gay man so he talks about stuff he knows and understands most which is gay men’s perspectives” which is so… infuriatingly dismissive! I mean how hard would it be to just ask someone else to expand your material? Loads of other left-leaning creators collaborate with one another especially if they tackle subjects that don’t pertain to them directly. how could i have been so blindsided? i feel cheated. and i’m honestly so ashamed of myself

[idylls-of-the-divine-romance]

Hi! What are your favorite Henry Vaughan poems and why? 😃 (Your poetry recs never disappoint hehe!)

Hehehehehe. I am glad you asked. I also have some more poetry recs for you specifically that I thought you'd like so I'll include those as well.

Everybody here is English except for one lollllll. Poetry during 16-17th century England is just simply unparalleled.

Vaughan's poetry

Regeneration (an allegory of the Calvinist view of salvation)

The Retreat

Silence and Stealth of Days (written after the death of his brother)

Corruption

Unprofitableness

The World

They All Are Gone into the World of Light!

The Night: John 3.2

The Waterfall (the water is an emblem of death and restoration of the soul back to it's source)

Cock-Crowing (the poem calls upon the notion of sympathetic attraction between earthly and heavenly bodies, e.g., the cock whose crowing announces the sun's rising because it bears within itself the "seed" of the son. It's an allegory for the soul and it's Maker)

Some more John Donne poetry

Death Be Not Proud

Spit in My Face Ye Jews, and Pierce My Side

Batter My Heart, Three-Personed God (i know you read this already but i adore this lol)

Since She Whom I Loved Hath Paid Her Last Debt (written after his wife's death)

Show Me, Dear Christ, thy Spouse (the ending is w i l d lol. Warning: sort of anti-catholic. Donne was born Catholic during the Catholic persecution and endured many existential crises about it before converting to Protestantism. Very good poem though)

Richard Crashaw. I have a feeling you'll love him. He was part of the Counter-Reformation and is only major English poet to write in the Baroque tradition.

To the Infant Martyrs

On the Wounds of Our Crucified Lord

Luke 11.[27]. Blessed be the paps which Thou hast sucked (read this one a few days ago and thought of you immediately. Spoilers: Mary is sucking Jesus side!!!!)

In the Holy Nativity of Our Lord God: A Hymn Sung as by Shepherds (so. freaking. good!!!!)

The Flaming Heart (haven't read this yet but if you like St. Teresa of Avila this is for you)

Thomas Traherne was a poet lost for many years but is absolutely beautiful in his earnest desire to see heaven on earth by returning to childhood and looking through the eyes of a child

Wonder

On Looking over the Moon

Secular poetry (edit: in hindsight this is just love poetry lol)

Amoret by Henry Vaughan

The Flea by John Donne (the funniest erotic poem i have ever read)

The Passionate Shepherd to His Love by Christopher Marlowe

The Nymphs Reply to the Shepherd by Sir Walter Raleigh

The Passionate Nymph's Reply to Her Beloved Shepherd by Me!!!!! (this one is technically also religious as well as romantic but wtv)

(^ those 3 need to be read in the listed order)

[siena-sevenwits]

Goodness of the Day:

The butter melted perfectly on my toast today.

Everything was cancelled today because of the snowstorm. On the one hand, too bad - my parents were going to have a house showing today and my mom also had to call off the book club she hosts. But snow days are nice any which way. And we didn't have to do the mad final tidy session before the showing, so, nice and relaxed in that regard.

Helped Brother Two create a character for the Saltmarsh Christmas Special. Apparently he is an honest junior merchant working in luxury goods. A fantastical character indeed. ;-)

I'm going to sound like a broken record, but it was a thoroughly Blackberry day, and it was glorious. I'm reading very slowly, to imagine it the more clearly and savour the characterizations. "A Visit from the Murderess" especially blew me away. Though I didn't find myself in my most commenting frame of mind, that only means the comments are going to ferment. Into blackberry wine or something. Blocking the tag is allowed to avoid record scratches. You have been warned. (Also @isfjmel-phleg is the most lovely author for responding. That further exploration on Elystan and Amarantha getting a taste of each others' lives made my day.)

I did a lot of my reading in the conservatory, which sounds very Agatha Christie. Fact is we do have a room with an awfully high glass to wall ratio, and my dad's many, many plants live in there. So it's a conservatory. It was bright and pleasant in there, and I really need to do more of my reading in the armchair there. I always gravitate to the dining room, for some reason, even though it's not half as nice.

Someone said something that made me angry (in hindsight it was just me being touchy and proud,) but it made me power walk round and round and round the hallway-kitchen-dining room loop. After five minutes I realized I was in the wrong, but kept walking. After ten minutes I realized I just wanted to daydream about writing while I power-walked. Did this for about half an hour, and while I didn't get a writing idea, I'm glad it transformed from me being stupidly upset to something fun and benign, and that I didn't explode at anyone.

The shower has been re-finished, and it now has an enormous showerhead, and I am curious to try it.

People gave me some very cool book recs to try out! I am going to assemble my somewhat loosey-goosey 2025 TBR soon, and will certainly be incorporating some of them! We're going back to the reading challenge model. It works with my brain.