#which ik all of us here know
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“Don’t you get tired of over qualifying your words for random people on the internet” YES GOD SAY IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(context)
thank you anon! like i really feel this so hard because like i know we often can't help caring what other people think and can't help feeling like we need to overexplain ourselves for a myriad of reasons, some of them being that social media culture has bred such an environment of like constantly performing and being scrutinized and scrutinizing others to see who is saying exactly the right thing in exactly the right way, and it's like, of course it's always important to be aware and thoughtful about what we say and how we conduct ourselves, but really sometime the black and white mentality goes too far, and learning how to distance yourself and care less about what others think is honestly so vital to enjoying your internet experience and feeling free
and when it comes to the phandom and talking about dnp's relationship specifically, i think a lot of people (mostly outside of tumblr, i feel like most of us here Get It) are still stuck deep in that ~2012-2016 mindset. and like i get that era did a number on a lot of us, but dnp themselves have moved on, and we're allowed to move on too. like so many people on here have already said, it's perfectly natural to think dnp are in a relationship because, lbrh, they've made it pretty much as clear as they can make it without outright saying it. dnp are very aware of how we as a fandom operate and think and know that right now, they're existing in a space where they can be just short of being explicit about their relationship, such that those who actively keep up with their content Know What's Up, but it's not enough for any tabloid site to pick up and run an article on and get the public spotlight trained on them again. given that, i think it's fair for us to pick up what they put down, and anyone in the year 2024 jumping down people's throats for saying they're together just looks silly, and it's time that everyone who still cares about what those people say to just stop caring
#like a lot of ppl here have said recently like#what was bad about 2012-2016 was the invasion of privacy from some ppl in the phandom or shoving things in dnp's face#like if you're not stalking them or their family members#not trying to find and leak their address#not @-ing them in fandomy content that's not meant for them#you're fine#dnp are two gay men in their 30s who have been in the public eye for well over a decade#who are now out and free#and frequently make jokes about their relationship#i promise someone on the internet saying they're together isnt committing a cardinal sin#which ik all of us here know#but i think this is something ppl on some other social media sites need to hear#anonymous#answered#phan
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Okay I’m going to say it, some of y’all treat the KOTLC tag like it’s a tumblr community instead of an organization system that gathers together everything people post and tag as KOTLC
#unless something has absolutely nothing to do with kotlc#no one is in their right to tell you to not tag something at kotlc. just so you know.#you can’t clog up a tag. that’s not a THING#no one talks about this in bigger fandoms. we only have this problem bc it’s a small fandom and people are used to going to the tag#to find the content they want#and if they aren’t finding the content they want too bad so sad.#like I’m not saying you can just tag whatever as kotlc#but if it’s about kotlc in any way. you are well within your right to tag it as such.#Im ALL FOR properly tagging. like don’t improperly tag. that’s just mean#and that DOES interrupt tags :/#but there’s no way for you to post too much about any one topic#the kotlc tag is NOT a curated space. it’s not a place of all these assorted kotlc posts in similar formats#it’s a space for everything tagged as kotlc#so unless you look at the post and are like ‘this doesn’t even mention kotlc or any of its characters???’#you can scroll along your merry way!#kotlc#it’s something that’s come up in both the right and wrong contexts#during tam cam people told ppl talking about just the identity stuff to keep it out of the kotlc tag and that was CORRECT bc that wasn’t#about kotlc. but also during tam cam people put in my ask box that there were too many tam cam meme posts and that they were clogging up#the tag. to which I say A) I was only making like a quarter of those and B) those have to do with kotlc so you can suck it up! in the end I#didn’t respond. but yeah. i get that there’s a time and place for us to be like hey that doesn’t belong here#but whether or not something belongs in the tag has NOTHING to do with how much you want to see it or how many posts are being made about it#thank you and have a nice day. and if you want a curated space of similarly formatted kotlc posts you should make a community#Ik our tag often functions like one bc we are a small fandom. but we are NOT entitled to that.
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can someone nice (!!) please please please adopt me im begging you im requesting you (huge word vomit and vent in tags, pls dont read if u dont want to!! and if you don't want this stuff on this blog PLS lmk!! i dont wanna make anyone uncomfy! )
#tw vent#yes ik i have a vent blog#but idk why i dont wanna go there#ill prolly delete this in a while + if i vent here (which ill try not to) ill always tag it#but if any of yall aren't fine with it pls do lmk!!! ill stop <3#Anyways.#fucking hell i hate this.#dude#i very specifically told them to hurry the fuck up THEY were the ones making us late#i have told them a hundred times the minimum time i jeed to get ready#i told them this morning too that you guys make us late then put it all on me#nad she went like oh no dear dont worry that wont happen#WELL GUESS WHAT BITCH#and like the lecture and huge ass scolding and then cold shouldet ive been getting from BOTH of them before i left for coachinh#im just tired atp#idk its not even that big a deal this happens everyday#i dont know how to feel#idk if im even rly feeling anything atp#its just that i really fucking hate being here#I wanna get the fuck out#but thing is this makes me feel kinda guilty occasionally#for eg a few days ago i was rly sick and she took care of me kinda#and then that made me feel bad for hating her#but then things like this happen and i cant help it and i feel so conflicted#i dont want to stay here i know that for sure but i feel guilty for it#if i speak im being rude and backtalking#if i dont speak im being rude and ignoring#the fuck am i supposed to do????#she always tells me to 'stay silent and just hear it'#and when i do that she keeps shouting again and again and finally i say smth bc although its extremely fucking dumb of me to open my mouth
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if there are any boygenius ppl out here gimme some recs ‼️
and some julien and lucy solo stuff ik phoebe well lol
#of course there’s some out here#if i use tags here they come#boygenius#julien baker#lucy dacus#phoebe bridgers#also. are they all queer or no#ik as we know it everything btw them like the kissing and stuff is all platonic#so that’s not why i’m asking lol they have a large queer fanbase so just asking for confirmation#i’m weird so i don’t like listening to full albums to get into new groups or artists#i like the fans to tell me which songs are the best for new people and the big fan favorites and all that
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an uncle nina check in <3
hi team! thanks for sticking around! i know my blog isn't always the most exciting and enriching place in the world in terms of content, but i am very /content/ to have you all here. <3333
i promise, oddly enough, i have A TON of inspiration and ideas for all my weird styles ( if you're curious about anything please lmk! i've been trying to flesh out my aus out lately ), i've just been in a major bummer depression era lately, so it's hard for me to get my asks done and i'm having a hard time committing to finishing my writing. :<
i think it's because of stress and my bipolar, but i am trying to get back on the horse! ( are we all laughing at the idea of me trying to get on a horse? i'd start crying help city girl fail moment for me ) yeehaw!
and while, unfortunately due to the instability ( fabulous legendary iconery ) of my pretty girl popstar personality, i do not know whether i will be answering almost no questions or one million, regardless of that, i just wanted to let you know, i'm still here, still kicking my feet, twirling my hair, cooking...i'm just really trying not to force myself to put out anything i don't like...and only do what makes me truly happy.
however, nothing, my dear sweet e-darlings...
makes me happier than coming home to all of you. <333
so thank you for flooding even the darkest corners of my life with bright light, supporting my phantom fics and being wonderful,
uncle nina xx
#nina speaks#hi my loves#idk what the point of this was#i just know my blog is really inconsistent and i know i dont really post anything or anything that useful#but i wanted you to know that i love you very much and i still care a lot about all of you and all my content actually#which i have been fleshing out in notebooks and google docs i've been doing lots of world building and character study#so feel free to ask me something challenging about any part of my nina sp auniverse that interests u itll make my brain work#i've also been taking very silly but dilligent notes abt what ravesey style looks like for ter so if u want to laff at those u can#i just love taking notes on detail and understanding exactly what characters look like or what settings appear like idk#might be some experimental writing on here i like doing different mediums like i was being silly#and started writing a netflix trailer for rm haha i also have been doing weird personality tests and questionnaires#i've been trying to think very deeply about tkak and my tfbw styles if u have any questions there and am deep plotting rm#trying to be impactful while also keeping things fun and learning to enjoy myself again i suppose#so again thakn u for being here sorry its weird on here but thank u for supporting me as i learn and grow my sunshines#also ik i have a ton of asks and uve already asked me so many things so never feel inclined to message me#but i love hearing what ur curious about hopefully i can answer some stuff eventually but again im on a break#i'm here but i'm not this is a safe place we try and fail we have fun and promote style world domination thru my weird styles#ilysm i'm shutting up now i promise i'm still here i'm just trying to be healthy and happy esp rn when i am not emotionally well#gotta protect my peace and my vibe palace but im still here!#MWAH MWAH MWAAAAAH#really trying to heal my inner child or like the girl in me that liked to write silly stories and create crazy things#weird hcs big dramatic plots silly stuff...i want to honor that girl because she was happy and free and had fun#and i want to do that again so lets have fun guys#no judgement no seriousness just good vibes and good reads#welcome to the uncle nina learns to laugh again arc#i hope you enjoy it
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its 4 am and well, im not doomscrolling but i have thoughts lol... i should turn them off and go back to sleep
#minhmy rambles#for the record right now im completely fine like. im not gonna let this stupid orange stop me#thankfully im relatively safe in my state and im so so glad for it but y'know. you never know#but yesterday i was busy w work and also loads of other things like Being Sick so didn't have the mental fortitude to keep up w everything#and i think its helped me like. im not gonna dwell on it. i shouldn't. yeah things Suck but id rather live my life day by day and Not/#self-destruct over it. and this is just me as well. ik everyone else is freaking out and you all have a right to. i just have to keep going#like its not me trying to be callous or y'know high and mighty for feeling better over it than others i don't wanna come off like that but.#i just feel safe here in hawaii things obvs still suck like i said and things can get worse esp for us but i feel safe here ill be ok#and i worry for my friends and everyone whose lives are impacted way more strongly than me and have a lot to worry about#like it could just be me being ignorant. or whatever. but i know everything is bad i just can't let it affect me rn#me rambling as if someones gonna read this and judge me so harshly...!!!#but its just the truth. im sad for everyone but i can keep going and so should you. i have so much to live for and if the only reason you/#have now is spite then you should do it. hey maybe someone will successfully kill the guy. instead of missing. but once these 4 years/#of hell are over we won't have him again. it might be even worse then#like in terms of presidential canididates. i know this. but its okay itll be okay#and i cant ask that ppl will adopt the same attitude as me lol i know im an outlier for sure but. its gonna be okay regardless#ill be okay despite being afab poc and Also autistic (ig i shouldn't look to getting a diagnosis yet which sucks..) but i'll Be Okay#and i hope everyone else will be too; in time.
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its so embarassing likee. going to talk abt a feeling you have but you already know ppl will be like Oh that sounds like depression lol and its like. well yes . i know . trust me i am so aware i am depressed . but its still like a thing ive been thinking abt and wanting to talk abt but ik itll just be like Ok hun 👍. idk idk what response i would want tho ig FNFNFNF
#not anything serious i was just thinking how like. idk. this is gonna sound rly stupid#but for me personally like. sometimes. How do i phrase this without sounding rly evil#i think obv ppl can spend their money however they want but like. its kind of hard 4 me to grasp sometimes like. there r things that ppl#spend a lot of money on bc it makes them happy like umm. vacations or pets or hobbies or whathaveyou. and obviously thats fine but#i iust feel like its all so. temporary and like. idk. idt im ohrasing this right at all i just likee. the thought of working all year to#afford to take a vacation and then working again to afford another vacation just makes me feel like i want to die. like. idk... i like#vacations we dont need to go on them a lot but ig its just like. everything we do just feels like a waste of time. not in like a Ohh you#should be doing more work Obviously its just like. idk. maybe it is just me. but i feel like im just waiting until i die and can be done#with it i guess. and everything i do is just to fill time until that happens. yk ? which is silly bc of my whole. Thing i cant talk abt#but ppl talk abt like. going out and partying or going on vacation or whatever and i like. I like those things its nice when they happen#but they dont rly make me longterm any happier i guess. everything just feels like another thing im doing. idk. this rly isnt coming out the#way it is in my head. and Again i know this is just depression shit or whatever im just like. its all exhausting. it just makes me feel so#tired. to think abt working and working and working so i can pay to be alive and i can save to do one fun thing every so often to keep me#sane enough to keep working and working and working and i probably wont ever be able to retire itll just be. work. and then ill die. yk.#but i feel like the vacations and stuff dont like. refresh me very much. maybe its just bc ive only been on one 'vacation' as an adult and#it was just like. coming home to see my family. and realizing id have to move back home yk..#+ like. my mom nd my gran taking me out for a weekend when i lived up there#nd those things were nice and all but once its over its like. it doesnt fuel me to keep going it doesnt make me feel any better abt having#to work for the rest of my life#ik im being ridiculous bc im literally unemployed and i cant even get up off my ass to get my stupid fucking ged so i can get a job and be#Useful to my family its just like. idk.... i try so hard to be like Oh nothing mayters and thats why everything matters type thing like. Yes#all things end and the point is to just try to be happy until it does#but i feel like it just doesnt happen for me. i feel like any happiness i feel is so insanely like. it happens and then its gone. and its#back to just. the knowledge that im still fucking stuck here. and i will be until it happens. yk. i play video games tomoass the time until#i go back to sleep then i wake up and i make a spreadsheet to pass the time until i go back to sleep#and everyday just feels like passing the time until i go back to sleep and itll just keep going until it happens. and its nice to have nice#days but whats like. the point. yk. everything just ends#IDK. this is all very whiny im sry. ive just been feeling it a lot lately . i hope this doesnt feel like me being like Ohhh you ppl r so#dumb participating in hobbies and going out and having fun dont you know yr gonna DIE? thats not what im trying to be like#its just like. i feel like it doesnt make me as happy as it does other ppl like. none of it refreshes me or makes me want to keep going
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Wait omg..... Jessica Cruz probably did rifle... my specialized sports knowledge coming in CLUTCH
Okay so I barely practiced and made it to regionals like once so im NOT the expert here but uh headcanoning that Jess did air rifle when she was a teen. Like idk if it would be as part of a team like with a high school (what I'm familiar with) vs like an individual thing vs like a travel/competitive team (it depends on the sitch in her area growing up) but she definitely went to some national matches (probably including JOs/JO quals like i think she was GOOD). I think she probably would have quit competitively following a bad shot at nationals (relatable) along with anxiety about competition (ALSO relatable) but still kept up with shooting casually for fun and relaxation and to hang out with friends etc.
She definitely would have shot smallbore competitively too but I never did that bc I was lazy so idk to much abt it competitively
#and by bad shot i mean a 0#it hurts me to even think abt doing that during a match actually esp at fucking JOs#a girl on my team did that and im sure it was devastating (we never let her live it down after too) but like dang. i feel that pain#im just saying she would vibe sooooooo hard with rifle. like canonically they just said she did it but im talking air in particular#also in the panel they said six which first off. humphries bro thats TOO young ik youre trying to be impressive but youre talking abt rifle#here. if someones let their kid have a gun at 6 theres actually smth wrong with them. and not even a bb or smth wtf#ANYWAYS you guys haveeeee to understand this. jess would go so hard for rifle she would fit right in w every competitive shooter ive ever#met istg-#she would be out there on the porch 35° weather in full gear mid match crying w the rest of us it would be great#wait wait shoutout to the time i had to get smth from my car and there were like 4 ppl out there crying during the middle of standing#like i literally FEEL THAT SO HARD (weve all been there) but also like... awkwarddddddd#4 is an unusually large amount though. normally its like 2 ppl at a time first relay. with more 1st relay ppl crying after than during#gosh rifle omg this is making me miss it#<<<<freshman/sophomore me would kill me for saying this btw. i HATED practicing so bad then omg#OH and Jess would be a kneeling girlie. fave position. why ? bc i said so shut up#no but bc its my favorite position (yes i know its the worst okay. im aware of all the reasons kneelings sucks and why everyone hates it.#but you know what? kneeling hates everyone equally and i respect that) no but uh yeah ✌️✌️✌️✌️#top 10 posts that are 80% jargon and only i care about 😘#anyways this is canon to me now actually#like idc what you say she was down in the trenches (the range) w the rest of us#also ik she almost certainly would have shot paper but in my mind she practices mainly w electronic bc thats what i used (even if its super#uncommon and is only used at the nice ranges) if she was super competitive she would probably have driven to shoot electronic. lets just say#there was a paper nearby and an electronic scoring range a bit farther or smth#anyways yeah#WAIT OMG SHE DEFINITELY MET HER FRIENDS FROM HER BACKSTORY THROUGH RIFLE#and the dating drama too omg rifle drama was INSANE. like i was almost always out of the loop bc i never practiced and didnt have snapchat#but like the drama was INSANE. fucking wild. at least to my nerdy ass self. so her relationship drama makes total sense now okay babe fr#jessica cruz#blah
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Agdigshdshs
I'M TRYING TO REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED WHEN I (presumably) SWITCHED IN AND I AM LITERALLY DRAWING A BLANK
Literally my earliest memory of being out is that I was singing along to what we had playing 😭 and I'm not even sure if it was the music or anything else that triggered me out like bruh- (you cant see it but I'm typing this rlly fast XD)
And like before that it's fuzzy but we were like- drawing a lil bit and writing in the journal maybe? Oh wait- nope nvm we didn't write anything before I came out =w=;;
Uhhhhhhhh
I thiiiiiink
Part of it is that B was listening to that shitty KSI song lmao
Cant believe he rated it a 1 or 2 out of 10, but also he literally forgot the song and watched a meme in the middle of it anyway our of boredom LMAO
I literally cannot remember it oml. All I keep thinking about is how I went to change my clothes >:P and like YEAH its bc I'm out and the eenrgy made our body warm af in what we wore before but like CMON THERES GOTTA BE SMTH!! 😭😭😭
#sepiasys.txt#FELLAS HOW DO I LIKE- I WANNA BE ABLE TO BE TRIGGERED OUT MORE EASILY!??#Because I legit started writing out lists of things to do and stuff IMMEDIATELY#Little things we need to remember or do or whatever /silly#BAISGDHADJHSA Literally how. I can tell I'm like- outwardly atleast- relatively calmer. But I know I'm still here?? XP#I WROTE DOWN WE NEED TO WORK ON STUFF FOR WORK AND OR COMMISSIONS AND LIKE IK THIS WILL ONLY HAPPEN IF I'M OUT LIKE-#🥺 How are we supposed to function 🥺#On a serious ish note I actually do wanna do commission stuff :3 which requires drawing stuff and posting it and also having prices & stuffs#So like we gotta set that up but ik I literally would not be able to do all that myselff Hjwbdjsb; but also I feel like I have to be respon-#sible for actually getting those things done? Having enegry smh smh!! But also like we all end up not doing anything for most of the day @_@#Is it dissociation or depression or what? /silly In all srs tho please look at the list guys; pls do some of it 😭#Me and 🪴 got our work cut out for us frfr /silly (It seems like we're rlly the only ones who can do stuff half the time ^^; Feels bad man)#Comms is actually like half shoddy for us af (that totally makes sense XD) so like trying to organize stuff internally is ahrd 😔#But also like our memory isnt complete shit bc rarely blackouts so like we get by :3 But cmon man 😭 We gotta work together!!!
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the urge to talk my head off vs. the calm of quiet vs. the Thoughts
#just me hi#vs. the Spookiness#anyway i have not been able to focus at all today#which could be credited to me staying up til like 1 a.m. last night#which i really don't know why i did. the mysteries of this world!!#/anywho thinkin about the Pink again#mostly the magic system cuz i'm still working out the kinkssssssss#like there's Camouflage and Minor Transformation and then there's also inventories which is just a bit of fun for me hbfhs#but that's jumping ahead of ritual Types- and then also jumping ahead of how the magic system works on itself so yea lol :)#//oh yea also bc i am a master at procrastinating lmao--#tryna figure out where i'd want pi.e to be mainly posted cuz i hate vertical scroll but also don't know if i want to put pages up seperatel#cuz i dunno.. i don't really like that for my own thang too much hfhsh#yea though.. still tryna figure that out#// oh i've gotta finish some stuff i'm drawing too lol#i am drawing a gun in perspective which isn't fun for two awesome reasons:#i don't draw guns#i funkin hate perspective so bad can somebody get me out of here hello lmfshvhg#anyway aside from that it's alright hghfjshv :3#/and ik i'm sort of apprehensive abt cussing online (that's for a couple reasons pfsvh) but i'm prolly gonna leave this uncensored#just cuz like. i Do have a mouth on me and i'd like to use it now and then hbfsh :)#and also saying this so i don't back out. you hear me [<- pointing at self]#yea though!! gonna finish this :3#/got apollo in here to see if i drew this thang right and i DID YIPEEEE#he's like super super into guns and has given me very long lectures when i draw them poorly so this is like winning a 5k HFbvhsjh#YAYYY i am Winning out here hgsbvhf#OKAY i'm gonna pop off to finish what i'm doin now :3#making food and drawing. two things that are not done effectively while typing lol#YE going now.. i'm going.. oo.. i'm gone.. ohh... toodles pfshv :D !!
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ok i think i know why hte songs on dreamland don't grip me by the throat the same way the songs on zaba or htbahb do, esp looking at tangerine and hot sugar there is barely any tension in the songs, its all so static whereas in songs like walla walla or like acc every song from the other albums theres a fuck tonne of tension . idk dremland feels so flat compared to the older albums. some of the songs are good dont get me wrong but idk nothing on that album compares to anything on zaba
#i do quite like space ghost coast to coast but its still kinda boring idk#helium is also good but#UGH#fuckin zaba and htbahb have me by hte THROAT istg#walla walla . wyrd and mamas gun#chefs kiss#idk also ik theyre not acc static im not sure cus the range is quite big throughout all ga songs but dreamland#some of the songs are just really boring#heres hoping some of the new album is good but tbh its not looking great#like ok im sorry creatures in heavenesp the opening verse WHICH THEY USED TO MARKET THE SONG is absolute dogshit#lapartment and love dont rhyme#also they rhyme to too to and to in one verse like????? come the fuck on#i really like this band tho i just know they can do so much better cus they HAVE
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using the school bathroom stealth but pre-t is the scariest fucking thing but thusfar it's always been fine. mostly sucks on my period
#today i had to flush a pad down the toilet 😔😔#which is really bad ik but my only other option was reach into the toilet to fish it out and there was no way in hell#bc it had come loose and so when i sat on the toilet it fell in and. yeah#anyway good lord it's always so nerve-racking using the school bathrooms#period or not#in fact regular pissing may be more scary bc i always have to sit on the toilet whereas changing tampons i can usually stand facing the#toilet and keep my pants up and just switch n wrap the used one in a shitton of toilet paper to put in a bin elsewhere#my main source of anxiety comes from the not super substantial stall privacy#and this cute little things the kids at my old school did where they took photos under the stalls 🥰#which never happened to me thankfully but like. good lord lmao#also never happened at this school as far as i know but it still scares me#also today i sat down on wet grass and i was freaking out all class thinking my underwear and legs were soaked from bleeding through#but no actually it was fine! tampon+toilet paper+pad triple layer barrier juuust kept things under control#fuck my heavy periods man#anyway look i'm so lucky and so much happier being stealth here than cosplaying as a girl at my old school#i am infinitely happier i really can't emphasise how much better i am doing now living as a guy#BUT man some aspects are a pretty tricky
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gonna delete this later bc i know it’s unproductive to screenshot / namedrop and i actually am thinking the best approach would just be to privately share this thought w the dev who posted this in a possibly futile attempt to effectively advocate for the change i want to see (#worktag2 lol). but im workshopping it here w my beloved mutuals first as i always do which is kinda shooting myself in the foot given that the devs can probably see that but whatever. my thought is like… i get it. i really do. i get that this place needs to stay afloat and some of that is gonna involve sacrifice or something from everyone involved. but… why would you try to snuff out the things that make this place what it is and just make it like all the other places. why would you not even take into account how the changes are going to impact EXISTING users who are loyal even if they don’t pay. people aren’t going to come to tumblr for more tiktok and instagram. they’re going to come here for tumblr. for the anonymity and the customization and whatever. so like i just don’t get it. why is the solution to this problem to experiment with changes **that existing users won’t like** and not to listen to what existing users want and do more of it bc other ppl likely will want that too.
#purrs#idk my thoughts aren’t organized and i have a stomachache so im not thinking clearly and ik i also was trashing staff earlier and that so ma#many ppl must be sending them hate and shit and i know there are probably better ways to go about things. but it’s like.. i do not feel like#i matter and belong as a long time tumblr user 😃 like why would you say this. it’s kind of like a big fuck you to the people who are here es#especially since there have been experimental features (like polls) ppl here have been wanting to see forever. like why can’t you work WITH#us instead of becoming another soulless algorithm wasteland. it just fucking sucks to feel like we don’t matter and we’re not being listened#to. and i get it like this is an age old story. but it sucks. it really does.#delete later#like idk. it just sucks to see a dev say that. why would it not even matter to you what existing users want and need and think. idk#like instead of removing the ‘it’ to get… why not just… idk. make it easier to get. instead of eliminating the it. you know?#ive been mad abt this all day which is cringe / dumb bc it’s the pikaman sword lady crab blue checkmark ‘hellsite’ and i don’t want to buy i#into the cringe staff blog persona but like. tumblr is a lifeline to me and this is just so upsetting lol
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At least 200 Israelis murdered
#my little sister knows someone from the family that is still in hostage#i feel so sad for the elder esp holocaust survivors and ppl w dementia. for children. for the teens ik who came here from ukraine etc#im scared for tge day we finf out exactly who was killed...#the old women i used 2 volunteer at :( all the ppl in beeri god#nahal oz etc which idek
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I'm going to be fucking real with you it's 2023 can we fucking. stop posting those images that are like "this is the shoe of blessings reblog it right now or you'll never feel anything again also we'll kill you" or at the very least get better at tagging them.
#art talks about stuff#this is a very exaggerated example i am aware#fun fact about me is that i'm extremely paranoid and while i know they mean jack shit they still can stress me out a lot#ik reblog bait is the tag meant to be used for that but 1. a lot of people just use that for ''rb and put your x in the tags'' posts#which are like. different#and then also people don't tag it at all#i'm not expecting anyone to immediately change solely just because i said so i'm just. frustrated i guess#and don't even get me started on those ''reblog now to prove you're not homophobic if i don't see this on your dash i'll block you'' posts#fuck you if you post shit like that btw#ik they were more common like 5 years ago but i still see them float around on here at times
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bedtime nowww probably ummm today qas not what i wanted it 2 be but its fine. i dont feel negative just a very very very numb day which is almost worse. but only almost 🙏
#i did get thr laundry done didnt fold it didnt take a shower#so thatll hopefuly be tmrw#i hope im able to do an activity with somebody tmrw.... the kids will be back at school so umm. no risk of weeman asking for my laptop in#the morning. or maybe me n lamp could play aa... idk#i feel like such a loser i go 1 day without bothering my family and im like wahhh im lonely. Can you shut up ..... we r better than this.#but wtvr. thats also a mean thought and i shouldnt be idolizing the way i lived last year. We were taking spongebaths and eating#1 bowl of soup a day crying ourselves to sleep every night and literally going weeks on end wo talking to our loved ones. so why am i like#We need to go back ! well i know why its bc i cant just let myself heal and move on bc of my stupid complex#and tbf i was very efficient back then. i ws able to do my spongebaths at least every 3 days and i did my laundry every week right on#schedule and i had a job....all it took was literally not being a person in any meaningful way FJFNGJGN. idk#it was very simple. its still very simple perhaps simpler (#no job) but instead i just feel guilty i guess. sbt everything#which i ws doing last year but again i was too out of it to rly dwell. i just cried at work a lot abt it#but now its like. i dont have a job to go to to focus on. my interests/hobbies can only distract me for a few days maximum b4 they become#nothing 2 me. and then im just back in limbo again and it feels pointless#and even when its a 'good' phase of something actually keeping me distracted from everything its like. not. all it does is ruin my sleep#schedule again yk. ik im literally the timeloop guy so u think id loveee Everyday being exactly the same over and over and over but well i#dont. bc they arent actually the same day theyre just reminders that everything does keep fucking going but im stuck. which is the opposite#of what i want. and what id have if the beautiful timeloop would simply rescue me. wtvr tho.... she doesnt even know i exist 😥#little joke. IDK. like i said its better ig than having a truly miserable day but. man. i wish everything was better#i ws gonna say like it used to be but. yk. ive been depressed since i was like 7 its not like. idk. i wish i was born different and i wish#my head worked and i wish none of it had evrr happened. but itis ok. i cant think of a funny cutesy alternative to put here so we will just#say nothing. yay
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