#which i super fucking appreciate
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i saw family (one of my cousins, but not the one i'm fighting with) for the first time in a month and it actually went well
i am pleasantly surprised
#it was my problem cousins older sister#problem cousin (k) still isn't talking to me#but her sister (j) is the only one in the family who is treating me even somewhat normally#(which isn't entierly surprising bc she's the only one in our family who makes an effort to actually have a relationship with everyone)#(it just sucks that no one else will even talk to me right now)#anyways i thought i was gonna end up crying tonight#and she didn't even bring up the fight or the rest of the family once#which i super fucking appreciate#it was just. it was a nice night#and i'm really really happy with how it went#personal rambles#ignore this#not stargate#stick live blogs her crisis
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3.13 | ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴀꜱᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ʟᴏʀᴅꜱ
link to the post I accidentally wound up prattling endlessly about in the tags 💀
#doctor who#tenth doctor#martha jones#david tennant#freema agyeman#(good god. without even meaning to I went into 'psycho stream of consciousness tagging' mode. whoops)#always thinking of that one post#where OP mentions how the writing tries to make it seem like Ten looked right through Martha/etc#which is a good concept for demonstrating his grief. but also isnt what we really see throughout S3#(not saying he wasn't a grieving MESS because he was. but he's a multi-faceted character and he can grieve AND value Martha simultaneously)#but we see such fierce protective instinct+trust; a bond between them that obviously isn't some one-sided affair#+ his clear intent to impress her/be admired and respected by her (apropos the post that inspired this sentiment)#but RTD obviously isn't the most infallible of writers#*cough* [list of reasons I cut down b/c long] *cough*#He can make Martha say “he's not seeing me/he doesn't look at me” but then you just watch with your eyes and you get a different story#It's like the opposite of when Moffat tries to make you believe someone is super important through bold claims without showing his work#instead RTD tries to make you believe Ten is functionally blind to Martha's existence while showing numerous examples of the contrary#then bring in the novels+myspace blog+cartoon that he all signed off on. Which tie together to create a canon backdrop#basically I said all of that to say this—#it's the whole reason I had to make this blog to get this sort of stuff off my chest (even if it's just for me sometimes)—#Ten not only SAW Martha—he trusted+respected+enjoyed+adored her. And it's a good thing#it doesn't cheapen his grief. I feel like people must think it does which is why I constantly see bad unnecessary takes about them#it just means that Martha was SO important to him and it's ok. they had a killer friendship outside the unrequited minutiae and it's ok#there's even a comic where 'someone' makes him believe she's Martha and he makes her change her appearance because “it's still too raw”#Just saying you don't say that sort of thing about someone whose existence you're all blasé about#Martha already gets fucked by the narrative in enough ways without people totally missing her significance in the Doctor's life#you don't have to ship them to appreciate them on a deeper level#anyway. fuck. if you actually read all of these then I'm so sorry#creating this blog has taught me that there are only like two people who feel the same way about tenmartha matters and it’s fine 😂#but if I didn’t give myself an outlet it would probably form a tumor SO there we are then
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Impulsively shoving a guy's hand in your mouth after having the thought "oh just like when my little sister used to prick herself on a rose thorn" and then immediately being treated like a pet who ate something they shouldn't have? Wonderful. Thank you, Thane.
(also not pictured is Thane apparently trying to scrape your tongue with his hand BEFORE pouring the holy water down your throat because NO. BAD.)
#bewitching sinners#palmier baker#thane verashkova#accidentally ingesting vampire blood because of big brother impulses is wild#also the reason hes so alarmed is bc in that world you kinda soulbond to others and thats how you soulbond as a vampire#you drink each others blood and so hes flipping out because while he hasnt had your blood yet#hey your ex is going to absolutely kill me if we bond on accident and i dont think i wanna die like that!#which is VERY cool to know thank you thane im so glad your concern is actually less of being bound#but about being murdered thats really cool#also the fact thane is found in the library studying with arshem my beloved ex and is BRIBED TO LEARN RECIPES#by arshem with vials of mixed blood hes just CASUALLY CARRYING is like hey man#thank you for being group mum i love you for it#and then later on arshem actually is like oh thane you can drink my blood later since you havent fed for a while#and thane is super chipper about it like HECK YEAH THANKS !#hey boys youre adorable thank you for existing in this incredibly fucked up world#im in a choke hold with this otome im sorry#you ever try to be nice to a guy and think surely this will help him a little bit then you get background lore#and you realize youre probably making things A LOT WORSE FOR HIM by being nice#im going through it with my emotions as i learn about palmiers actions pre game swap so like#dude please i am BEGGING YOU palmier please have ONE redeeming quality in you at some point#i want to adopt one of the love interests as my son though and im obsessed with the fact he can speak fish#my son can speak to the fish and he gives me fish as a present bc i might need it later#and i do actually in fact need said fish later for another quest#thankyou my son i love you and i appreciate you youre amazing#gonna have to draw arshem at some point and everyone will immediately go yeah that makes sense
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does anyone have any snack recommendations
#lately ive just been melting chocolate chips and dunking chunks of bananas in there#but i have super bad news: we are out of bananas!!!#it sounds like a fucking minion wrote this#(from the minion movie)#but any snack recs would be much appreciated i trust you guys#which i know sounds dramatic but theres nothing worse than someone u trust giving u a bad snack rec
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2011 Japan Post-Qualifying
#dedicated to the anon who asked me if i knew which gp this was from! i ended up being right hehehe#AND thank you so so so much to suzuki-ecstar for finding and sending me the clip!!!! i appreciate it sm!!!! <3#(ik told you already but actually the clip you sent is better than the original archive i had so im very happy)#i know a super old post of this already exists but now pls take my offering of it w higher quality/frame rate!!#im usually not a huge fan of this seb hair era but godddddd he looks so good in this#i will never get over the 2nd gif of jense play-punching him#ive seen it a million times by now but this one is better quality than any of the others and im fucking dying#THEY'RE SO ENDEARING WHY WERE THEY LIKE THISSSSSSSSS#and mark's there too i guess...(kidding hahaha but god his live slug react game is strong)#okay also must say now that im in a different time zone i have absolutely no fucking idea when to post its so confusing to me#jenson button#sebastian vettel#sebson#mark webber#jb22#sv5#2011 japanese grand prix#2011 japanese gp#we do a little bit of f1#f1#formula 1#formula one
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honestly they were disrespectful to themselves. they let it get completely out of hand for a MONTH. the palace did this to themselves
yeah... look nobody will get me to agree with people being like 'conspiracy theorists have gone too far' 'you've all been disrespectful towards catherine' 'there was never a reason for any of this' 'you should be ashamed for what you said' etc etc etc. because like... first of all, again, i hold zero respect for these people. why the fuck should i. but even if i did... it's their own fucking fault???? the fuck?????? lmao?????????? literally only a handful of people gave a fuck until that doctored photo. and then they just kept making it worse. and i'm sorry but i actually don't think they're entitled to their privacy when their entire job is pr and they're blatantly lying in all their pr shit like ? what else are you good for lol. but then that also makes me angry because as much as i don't like kate for several reasons i'm still a bit genuinely offended at her behalf for how they've handled all this shit.. like making her take the blame for the photoshop (i hope for her sake it was her own idea, because otherwise........), having her appear alone in the video announcing her cancer (why tf isn't william there when she's talking about how he's by her side lmao), the general just lack of giving a fuck about anything whilst the world went wild theorising about her.... i can't tell whether she's taking the fall to cover for something else or if they're just all absolute assholes ?? again like. i don't like kate middleton. for many reasons. but i like william and charles a whole lot less and it's infuriating that they're making me feel like she's been wronged lmao
#im not even SUPER anti royalty#i mean i think its fucking stupid and serves no purpose#but a lot of countries have royals who really are Just figureheads#and if that was all the british royal family was then whatever#i mean theyre still a horrible symbol of colonialism and general racism#but like it doesn't really matter that they're there#EXCEPT it kinda does because they still have way too much social power#like idgaf about the norwegian royal family but at least they're like. normal. hell they even fly commercial#which im sure is a pr thing but i do appreciate it#like nobody cares about them in norway but i don't think anyone dislikes them either?#because they just do Nothing#theres a speech at christmas/new years and a wave at constitution day and thats literally it#they show up to events but its so casual#i feel like the british royal family could do this so easily but they insist on doing things like a coronation that costs millions of pound#like?????????#oh my god#again. dont give a fuck about royals in any country. but come on.#if youre gonna exist at least just be like. a figurehead. and stop being fucking weird.#answered
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Guys I'm so tired.
#guys please. havent we moved past this#i thought the rampant acephobia of the 2010s had died off. why r we still having this discussion#im just asking people to be normal. thats literally all im asking#is it that hard?#arcane#hazbin hotel#i havent even watched hazbin hotel. i just know yall wont fucking be normal about him being aroace#i almost put caduceus from cr on this bc i was in the trenches when he came out as aroace and i saw all the annoying posts#but actually people got over that pretty fast and are super chill about it now which i appreciate#asexual#ace
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Okay but what's iconic about stealing one of his sweatshirts is that he was gonna give me the hoodie he was wearing, but he'd pulled the collar/neckline up and sneezed into it a few times throughout the day, and he knows I'm a germaphobe so he was like "you probably don't want this one, let me get you a different one to take" like ahsjakskls 🥺😩
#kinda snz#we love a considerate king lmao#also everyone clap for me bc i could've responded like a freak but i Did Not#i can behave sometimes 😌#tho i guess it was less of me stealing his sweatshirt and more him willingly giving it to me but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#it's soft and warm and smells like him and I'm just 🥰#fairly certain he uses old spice which has made me insane since middle school lmao#also everybody ignore the fact that like three months ago i was saying i wasn't into him bc that was a fucking lie as it turns out#i like this dude so much it's sad lmao#and he does have a nice sneeze lmao i can appreciate it now that he's not dying of disease directly in front of me lmao#he's not like a super sneezy person but he usually sneezes at least a couple times a day#which is crazy to me bc i almost never sneeze unless my allergies start acting up lmao#partner posting
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so i’m getting top surgery some time between the months of february and august of this year (would rather february obv but seems like summer might make more sense logistically). the thing is my extended family does not necessarily know that i have any kind of gender thing going on, not because they don’t have access to this information, but simply bc they don’t care enough about me to think about any aspect of my identity (because the world revolves around my cousin and i have always been peripheral). which means there is a very real possible future this year when i roll up to a week long extended family beach vacation like….. sans tits and with two new massive scars……… i don’t plan on explaining anything in advance bc i’m sure my cousin will be emailing everyone her own personal accommodations beforehand and i wouldn’t want to get in the way, but like…. surely at least one of them will notice? even if i don’t go shirtless and i wear a bikini despite not needing one, they will notice, surely? and from there, what happens? it’s a mystery, but also has the potential to be very fucking funny in my opinion
#my grandma and one of my uncles would normally ask my dad about it nervously except idk if they’ll know how to phrase it this time?#it won’t stop them from asking but it will throw a wrench in the works for a little bit as they figure out how#then that uncle will ask ME a bunch of questions and that will be the most awkward and unpleasant part for me#(i do not want to share my gender journey with these people)#my other uncle and his ?wifepartnerpereon? may not notice and will not ask anyone about it#and my two cousins + their parents clan? honestly no idea how they’ll react#the cousins will notice obviously. they might ask me about it#the older one will tell her parents#her dad will probably mention it to my dad but be super weird about it. not in a transphobic way but in a condescending misogynist way#(bc he still sees me as a little girl with no autonomy or common sense)#and then me might make weird comments at me which is whatever#and my cousins mom will probably be sacharinely excited for me and give me a hug and say that’s great!#which does not make her any less of an insane liberal rich white woman or any more of a good mother but i’ll appreciate the sentiment#and my younger cousin will be cool but surprised#except less surprised bc i’ve always done weird shit to my body as far as they were concerned when we were growing up#so i think they’ll see this as just an extension of all the hair dye and piercings and tattoos#my cousins shouldn’t be surprised at ALL bc they and their goddamn parents all follow me on instagram and my pronouns on that app have been#they/them for like 5 years at this point they’ve just never bothered to notice#such is life#i won’t even pretend to know how my one uncle’s girlfriend and her shit daughter will react#they are both as unpleasant as they are utterly fucking baffling#so god only knows.#anyways it won’t change much in the long run bc family vacation will still end up being all abt my cousin anyways <3 god bless
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i honestly think the stress of my job is bad for my health tbh
#txt#negative#today someone came in & started racist hassling the other people just waiting in line#& yesterday i was Also having trouble calming down after work just like i am now bc a different person came in and started losing her shit -#-abt something someone else did#its like customer service but everythings heightened =_=#im gonna wait until the spring and then if im still tense & miserable after my vacation then im gonna quit#SPEAKING OF im. regretting inviting this friend of mine along on this vacation sooooo much. which fucking sucks bc i adore her but like;;;;;#she & i are two vastly different people when it comes to travel like shes way more detail focused & strict than me which i. super -#-appreciated when we went to montreal. but now we're going to asia & she. knows nothing about asia so it feels like she's relying on me to -#-patch the holes in her strict framework which i like. wouldnt be doing at all if it were just me 😀 i am a pathologically chill person when-#-it comes to travel. and now im like. im gonna be away from this stressful job & need everyone with an anxiety disorder to stay minimum 5ft#-away from me until i come back. except i will have one such person right next to me the whole time 😀 WHICH AGAIN SUCKS BC I LOVE HANGING#-OUT W/ HER IN LIKE LITERALLY EVERY OTHER SITUATION. LIKE;; INCLUDING OTHER TRAVEL SITUATIONS#ugh sorry i had to get this out of my system. i think im just sad my Fuck Off To Asia fantasy is becoming less that & more of a chore#shes also gonna be dependent on me for part of the trip bc i speak chinese & she doesnt. which like. i thought would be a necessary -#- unpleasantness for a greater good time when i was thinking to invite her.#i cannot stress enough how this is regret toward myself & not spite toward her.#its like i packed my most beloved tank top to go on a ski trip ya feel
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okay ive been thinking about this for a little bit but what sort of dress would thunder wear.
i was thinking perhaps something fancy? like a sleeveless dress or something with some sort of armor? perhaps not something that drags on the floor though
or maybe something a bit more practical? something that isn’t really a dress but you can move more freely/have more protection in (or just generally looks more square/sharp)
#thunder in the show clearly cares a lot more about his image than shiny which means dress would probably be a bit more restrictive for him#and tbh it isnt really that i feel like he would entirely hate wearing something feminine in general? i think hes more worried about people#‘s perception of him wearing a dress. if yknow what i mean#i could also say fuck what i think he thinks and put him in a random ass dress but man. MAN i just care a lot#and i mean i have thought/discussed putting him in a big stupid dress so maybe im just overthinking it LMAO#anyways feel free to give feedback#images of dresses are GREATLY appreciated 🙏🙏#worf opens their big mouth#super giant robot brothers#sgrb#also the main reason i chose a sleeveless dress was mainly so i didnt have to deal with his wide ass shoulders LMAL#BTW HI DISCORD PPL I KNOW WE DISCUSSED IT A BIT THERE BUT I WANNA EXPAND THAT IDEA HERE
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Idk what it is that makes me fixate so hard on one specific thing for years at a time, but I need it to chill out 😭 DnDads has been my only long-term media interest for like 1 and 1/2 years now, and it’s BORING to only like one thing ever lol I’m BORED!!! I need other things to be interested in, but I struggle with getting into new stuff (other than video games) sooo bad :(
That said, if you have DnD podcast recs that have interesting characters……… GIMME 👀 Also where the early episodes aren’t a nightmare to listen to 🙏 I have never listened to any other DnD podcasts, and I think it’s mostly bc the earlier seasons are always poor audio quality or like 3 hours long 😭 I’m also good with any type of narrative podcast. I just want compelling characters and platonic/familial dynamics pls. Stuff I can write sad shit about!! But also not TOO sad the whole time… maybe a little bit silly idk
So far, ones I’ve written down to listen to are Cast Party and Friends at the Table? I don’t know anything about either of them, though so? Also I keep seeing my mutuals posting Oxventure and Woe.Begone (although the latter isn’t a DnD podcast.. I think?) sooooo let me know your thoughts. And recommendations! Send me your propaganda! Tell me about your blorbos
#the only podcasts I’ve really listened to are dndads and tma#but not the new tma one or whatever it’s called#I don’t really remember anything about it and was never into the fandom anyway#it was interesting ig but just not for me#I listened to it on 2x speed 😭#I’ve also listened to a bit of wtnv and it was fun#but I also just wasn’t super invested. I like the concept a lot though hehe#anyway pls give me podcast recs. you guys can probably assume my favorite types of characters/relationships#I’m easy to read lol#tv show and book series recs are also appreciated#but idk I feel like there are probably a lot of podcasts and audio dramas I’m missing out on#and I drive 45 mins - 1 hour pretty often so it’s nice to have something I can listen to instead of sitting down with#also my last super long-term media interest was fucking danganronpa 😭#which I exclusively fixated on and talked about ad nauseum for like 4 years so. so yeah#chalcy stuff#tma#danganronpa#<- remembered I should probably tag things that aren’t what I usually post lol sorry#hopefully the other stuff doesn’t need tags
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he's so correct too
#personal#house of the dragon#like i have BEEN saying#sorry that all the members of team green are interesting and also super hot#i appreciate that tgc and i share a brain it gives me hope that he knows he played a shittier version of augustus than he deserved#(no i won't shut up about that)#'oh but team black is the morally correct option' first of all press x to fucking doubt#second of all i don't choose which fictional monarchs i support based on my MORALITY#if i did i wouldn't support any of them because birthright monarchy is a scam#and they should all be overthrown in favor of representative democracy since that's where my moral lie like a normal person#i choose my fictional monarchs with my heart#and my heart enjoys hot people who are narratively compelling rather than being planks of wood (strongs) or deeply annoying (daemon)#only member of team black worth anything is rhaenyra and honestly half of that is just cuz i love emma d'arcy
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i am so glad this week is finally (almost) over
i had an appointment with my pcp on monday to see about this possible kidney stone situation
they did a urinalysis on me and sure enough i do have some blood in my urine so that plus the pain means it's likely there's a stone, but i'm in a situation again where i haven't had any pain for days so it's like...that's not good !! (especially since this has been going on for a few months at this point !)
they ordered me a ct scan which i had today so i'm hoping maybe sometime tomorrow i'll get the results of that and we can maybe figure out what's going on
i also had a dentist appointment on wednesday but it was just a cleaning and my dentist said everything looks good. it is kinda funny because i was actually supposed to have this appointment months ago but decided to reschedule because i had too much going on that week and so it got pushed out until now and then i end up having even more shit to do this week than i did back then so...oh well !! it's finally done
and tomorrow i've gotta do some of my usual errands (mostly taking the garbage off and getting a few things from the grocery store) and then i think i'll finally be done !! hopefully !!
hope you have a good, restful weekend coming up if you're reading this !! <3
#i'm just hoping and praying at this point that i've passed the stone if that is what it is#and that i don't get a call about this ct and it's like#uh hey you're gonna need a procedure to get this thing out before you start to go septic again#just....please god not again#but i guess if that is the situation then we'll just deal with it#anyway#in any case i at least got all my work done for the week so that's something#i've had to work later to make up for all the time i've been out at these appointments but i did it !!#and now hopefully this weekend i can just......rest#please god#i do have a lot of stuff i need to look over for school because i have a meeting with my student advisor next week#and although i appreciate him sending me all this information it's.....a lot#and i'm kind of starting to panic now like 'uh-oh!! uh-oh what have i gotten myself into ?!'#but i'm gonna just...power through it and keep going#because i really want this now and it's probably gonna add a bunch of stress to my life#when i already don't really have a lot of room for that but#i think in the end it'll be worth it#so that's what we're holding out for#and in the mean time if my body could just.....not have any more health problems#that would be fucking amazing thank you#anyhow#i didn't get a lot of sleep last night so i'm gonna go to bed now#it's just gonna be me here this weekend because mom's off with her boyfriend#which is fine i like having the place to myself#but i also have to take care of our dog by myself and he's way more attached to her than me#so he tends to be super anxious when she's not here#and so we're gonna do our best with that as well#but part of that also means i gotta get up ass early to let him out to go potty#so i'm gonna go get a few hours in before it's time for that#and then once i run my errands tomorrow i can maybe hopefully finally unwind a little
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this is so funny to me cuz imo vesperia's UI was ASS
#and its been a hot minute but i dont think x-2s UI was super difficult to use.. but also this pic is the ps2 UI and i was playing the#remaster so i cant rly say anything here#but yeah vesperias UI was Ughhh like the menus within the menus#and even at the end of the game i was mixing up the artes and skill menus like which was which#and SPEAKING of the skill menu... that shit was ass. why could i only see 12 skills at a time.. why does the text box eat so much space -_-#not that they really described most of the skills well anyways#i wouldve really appreciated it the skill screen was more like ff9 or smth#also OMG the strategy menu the edit options are soooo fucking unnoticeable and missable like the hell#and dont even get me started on what a pain it is to shop for the party members.... -_-#vespieria
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Mel for the unhinged character bingo!
yessss YEEEESSSSSSSSS
#ask me#so Mel is in the unenviable position of being a very strong character whose rights I support and whose wrongs I also fully support#BUT the way she's treated broadly in the fandom is so pervasive and so consistent and so frustrating to me that#I am in full -must protect my blorbo- mode with her at all times#-Mel's story is over so the only thing left for her to do is die-#-if Mel dies then J can get together with V and they will appreciate her for her sacrifice bc she died a hero who rejected Ambessa-#enough! enough I say!#what about proving to ambessa that she can take the throne for herself? what about the angst of defying her mother and her home country#and opposing those in Piltover who DO want war and want to raze the undercity#what about the magic that she's heavily foreshadowed to have and how it's different from hextech#and how it directly opposes but also parallels what is happening to Viktor#what about her -friends- abroad and the plot Mel was cooking through all of season 1 that has not been revealed yet#there's so much potential for her to have to confront the fact that J was slowly becoming a monster through season 1#and that she can't ignore the undercity forever#also what if whoever Ambessa says killed her brother comes after Mel too!#it is very frustrating to see Mel get dismissed as dead or evil or irredeemable or whatever when she is consistently#the most interesting person in the room in every single scene she's in and the character who shows the most conviction and change#so yeah i will take a bullet for her she is my blorbo I will despise any character who hurts her#and I would cradle her in my arms if she gave me a chance - which she would never! - but a girl can dream#however I also enjoy leaning into the idea that Mel is perceived as being a devil from the outside - Mel leans into it too when it serves#but it's in direct opposition to her ironclad values and the personality that she keeps hidden a layer down#I genuinely think that Mel will have a happy ending - or at least as happy an ending that an Arcane character can get lol#like I fully believe she will take the throne (Piltover) in the end but I can only guess at this point what that will cost her#I love putting Mel in situations but mainly to play with both how creative she can get and also how fucking far she will go to win#which is ANOTHER thing we know is probably true about Mel but has not been put on display yet#also Mel has already done a great job at separating what she wants for herself as a person from just being Ambessa's daughter#but Mel still deserves to get plenty of great therapy for that situation because OH GOD THAT CHILDHOOD FLASHBACK#also Kino is dead? maybe dead?? at least Mel fully believes he's dead so she needs therapy and hugs for that too#I am super normal about her can you tell
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