#and if that was all the british royal family was then whatever

[pseudophan]

honestly they were disrespectful to themselves. they let it get completely out of hand for a MONTH. the palace did this to themselves

yeah... look nobody will get me to agree with people being like 'conspiracy theorists have gone too far' 'you've all been disrespectful towards catherine' 'there was never a reason for any of this' 'you should be ashamed for what you said' etc etc etc. because like... first of all, again, i hold zero respect for these people. why the fuck should i. but even if i did... it's their own fucking fault???? the fuck?????? lmao?????????? literally only a handful of people gave a fuck until that doctored photo. and then they just kept making it worse. and i'm sorry but i actually don't think they're entitled to their privacy when their entire job is pr and they're blatantly lying in all their pr shit like ? what else are you good for lol. but then that also makes me angry because as much as i don't like kate for several reasons i'm still a bit genuinely offended at her behalf for how they've handled all this shit.. like making her take the blame for the photoshop (i hope for her sake it was her own idea, because otherwise........), having her appear alone in the video announcing her cancer (why tf isn't william there when she's talking about how he's by her side lmao), the general just lack of giving a fuck about anything whilst the world went wild theorising about her.... i can't tell whether she's taking the fall to cover for something else or if they're just all absolute assholes ?? again like. i don't like kate middleton. for many reasons. but i like william and charles a whole lot less and it's infuriating that they're making me feel like she's been wronged lmao

[inky-duchess]

Fantasy Guide to Royal Guards

Royals have multiple layers of servants but there is no set of servants most important that their protection. Royalty are never without some kind of protection and palaces are usually guarded to the teeth. So how do we write royal security. This is for @jamie-ties-writing

Recruitment

Royal guards aren't just any person plucked from the street and put into a uniform. They are usually recruited from within the royal army, from within particular regiments across the army (a mixture of calvary, naval, artillery, infantry). The Royal Guard is usually made of of multiple regiments, not just a single one. These regiments would share and rotate duties. The British Royal family are currently guarded by the Coldstream Regiment, Welsh Guards, Grenadier Guards among others. Royal guards will be selected for their skill, sometimes their birth (they may be chosen if they rank higher socially) and of course, loyalty to the Crown. Royal guards were intended to be a show of force, strength, Majesty so they were usually impressive specimens meant to instill some power to their monarch.

Duties

A royal guard's first order of business is the protection of the family. They may have sentry duty around the palace, guarding doors or patrolling palace grounds or corridors. A Royal Guard may be assigned to one member only but most likely they will rotate through the family as needed. Of course, a royal can request a guard to always be assigned to them if they want. They may escort their charge of the day to their engagements. If assigned a certain royal to protect, they would tail them throughout the day. A royal guard may even perform ceremonial duties such as the changing of the guard or riding in coronations or state funerals. A royal guard is expected to remain vigilant but never speak of what they see, they are meant to keep an ear out for threats but never repeat whatever is said, they are expected at all times to uphold a professional countenance and respect protocol. They will be expected to give their lives if needed, and be loyal to the last.

Rank

Royal guards are a military division and rank is a part of their lives. Their supreme commander would he the monarch first but there would be an appointed commander. Depending on how you want to write Royal Guards, each regiment would have it's own captain and leaders. Of course, not all regiments may adhere to the same ranks but this would be a basic outline for you to follow.

Colonel: Colonels actually have no duties, they are more an honourary figurehead. Many members of the royal family would have a regiment to be colonel of. This usually requires nothing more than a ceremonial role, the wearing of the uniform while inspecting the troops for example.

Captain: The Commander of the regiment. They would undertake managerial duties, issuing commands from the monarch, assigning duties, approving the induction of new guards into the Household Division. The Captain would decide who would guard which member of the royal family.

Lieutenant: The Second in command. They will assume command if the Captain is not available. They would take on a large portion of duties and aid the Captain.

Sergeant: The sergeant would be next in command.

Guardsman: The lowest rank. They will have the least experience but usually the most duties. They would be the ones patrolling and standing sentry.

Uniform

Of course, no royal guard is complete without their uniform. Royal guards would have to stand out, especially in ceremonial duties. This uniform would be distinctive, not only because it is a great honour for anybody to be named to the guard but also as mentioned above, to add a layer of might to those they protect.

Notable Royal Guard Units

Dahomey Mino (the inspiration of Black Panther's Dora Milaje)

The Praetorian Guard

The Imperial Guard of Napoleon

The Imperial German Bodyguard

Varangian Guard

Swiss Guards

The Kheshig

The Janissary

The Imperial Guards of Tsarist Russia

The Cossack Guard

Guardia Real

Coldstream Guards

Irish Guards

Welsh Guards

Grenadier Guards

Medjay of Ancient Egypt

Al-Ḥars al-Malakī as-Suʿūdī

Compagnie des Carabiniers du Prince

Thahan Raksa Phra Ong

[szasfuckingwife]

SELFISH

HOBIE BROWN X BLACK CAT!READER

WARNINGS: smut, black cat is white in comics but there’s no mention of race here, black reader in mind tho, british slang, gwen stacy is mentioned but it’s the gwen in hobies earth NOT ghost spider gwen , royal family existence

a/n: wrote this for my black british ppl dem, hobies existence kinda made me proud. i put some british slang/phrases here n there. also, black cat is an underrated love interest i wish they put her in a movie.

It’s midnight, what better time to steal the crown jewels? Yes, it’s heavily guarded and there’s a slim chance you’ll even make it out alive but you needed them more than some overrated family. They don’t even belong to the royals, right?

You navigate through the tower of London, looking for something worthy of taking and risking your life for. Last time, you took (what was apparently) Queen Victoria’s robe and one of those fancy looking crowns. This is light work to you, but since you know the guards will be changing shifts in fifteen minutes, all you want to do is get the big one and leave.

Oh, what’s the big one you ask? St Edwards crown.

Yes, it’s not entirely ethical, robbing something from the most notorious robbers in history but it’s better off them and in someone elses hands, you figure.

Someone reliable, honest and responsible like you

Plus, your not greedy, the charity organisations were frequently shocked when ‘Anonymous’ donated $1,000,000 every month or so.

When you come face to face with with St Edwards Crown, your eyes widen behind your black goggles in amusement. The diamonds looked so…big.

After you fawned over the gleam of all the rubies and diamonds, you took out your laser and, carefully, cut a circle into the glass. Slowly, and gently, you pulled the cut glass away from the rest of the box.

Once your gloved hands touched the crown, you felt an odd chill in your spine.

“Oh, don’t mind me, love, just enjoying the show..” That familiar voice causes a smirk to appear on your face. When you turn around, you see that same patriotic red and blue covered by silver spikes. He’s leaning on the wall, arms crossed. You wonder how long he’s been standing there.

Or if he even cares that you’re stealing from his beloved monarchy.

“Spidey, strange to see you here…” You smirk before quickly replacing the real crown with a replica so no weight detectors could go off. Hobie smirked behind his spiked mask, “Strange to see me ‘ere? In my city?”

You loudly roll your eyes, putting your new souvenir in your bag. “Y’know what I mean. Did you see what I got this time?”

“The big one…Look at you! A year ago you were robbing the richest men in Dubai..” He chuckled as you smiled at his compliment. His heavy boots almost scare you when he walks up to you, he could alarm a guard.

Not wanting to cause a breach in security, you took out your grappler and shot up to the ceiling, “I’d love to stay with you, Bee, but a new apartment is calling my name!”

Bee. He smiled at the nickname as he remembered the many times you’d say it.

He stares at your every move, and how every one of your movements makes your body look so damn sexy. Your latex black suit giving you that perfect silhouette, not to mention the fluffy white fur on your calf and chest that ultimately made you look regal.

“For fuck sake..” He sighed. He remember what Miguel commanded.

‘Stop being an anarchist or whatever you call yourself and actually try capture the bad guys!’

Suddenly, five bright flashes shone into Hobies eyes, blinding the man as security guards rushed into the room. They had their tasers in one hand and flashlights in the other, analysing the room and the shattered glass from the glass roof. All Hobie could do in response was kiss his teeth.

“Took you lot long enough…” He raised his hands, surrendering as if he was trying to make them think that they had control.

They stepped closer to him, “What are you doin ‘ere, Spider?”

Hobie groaned again. The fact that this was the useless security the stupid government spent so much on made him sick, “Tryna catch the cat that’s been stealing shit from all around the world, you donut!”

One of the security guards looked at the missing artefacts and looked back at Hobie.

Hobie scoffed, “I knew you man were racist, but you’re really gonna accuse a black man for stealing these fucking jewels that don’t even belong to that bloke in the castle?!”

The security men didn’t know what to think, looking at each other to answer spiderman. They didn’t even know spiderman was black! “N-No! I would never-”

“Shut up, just shut up.” Under his mask, Hobie smirked. He webbed up to the ceiling, leaving the security guards gobsmacked. “If I ever see you again, it’s wraps, understand?”

They all nod.

“Wasteman…” he muttered, before chasing after you.

You ran along London rooftops, your movements a little slow due to the heaviness of your bag. This stealing shit was tiring, you hoped once you sold the jewels, you’d be able to live comfortably for the rest of your life.

After a few more leaps, you rested on the top of the shard, overlooking London and it’s nightlife. From here, you could see Leicester square and almost smell the food. You sighed, taking in the city.

Dreams of getting rich might’ve blinded your vision, but the rush feels exhilarating.

“You dropped this..” You turn around seeing Hobie, without his mask. He held a shiny ruby in between his fingers. “Come get it, kitty.”

You rolled your eyes at his banter and stood, walking towards him. As much as you tried to get him out of your head, his smile alone sent thousands of butterflies to your stomach. “Why are you following me so much, hm? Thought your big bad boss made it clear there’s a Gwen Stacy here that you have to be with-”

“And when have I ever listened to him?” He steps closer, placing the ruby in your hand. You watched him as he carefully removed your mask from your face, finally seeing your face.

You recall the time when he told you about this Gwen Stacy and how Miguel clearly expressed his disappointment that someone as smart as Hobie would ruin the multiverse due to his selfishness and some ‘petty thief’. As much as you understood all this about canon events and the multiverses, you loved Hobie too much to let him go to that fashion designer, Gwen Stacy.

However, after a lot of thinking, you decided it was best if you left him, not wanting him to face any problems with Miguel.

But, you miss him. You miss the smell of his cigarettes, the sound of his guitar, the feel of his naked skin pressed against yours.

It was for the best.

“Hobie, go away.” You try to snatch your back from him but he moved his arm above your head. His smile deepens as you cross your arms, looking up at you.

God, he missed you.

“Me and Gwen? It’s like watching paint dry. It’s boring. And most importantly, she’s not you!” His callous hands stroke your cheek, has he ever been this soft? “All I want is you.”

“You can’t have me. Miguel will have your head-” “Let him have it!” Hobie exclaims, as if that is a reasonable answer. You curse under your breath, pinching the bridge of your nose.

Hobie chuckles slightly because he knows you, and he knows his love for you. But when he sees you look at him sternly, all smiles stop.

“Why can’t you just understand that I want you to be safe, fuckin idiot..” You sigh. Hobie sighs too, but out of frustration. The two of you were like immovable object meets unstoppable force. Both as stubborn as each other.

He grabs your face and rests his forehead against yours. You cringe slightly at the feeling of his eyebrow piercing but look into his eyes anyway, “Fuck Miguel. I’m safe with you, I want you.”

Bastard, you thought before planting a kiss on his lips. He held you tightly, gripping onto your hip before deepening the kiss. Hobie’s kisses are something you’ve missed, especially the horny, sloppy kisses like the one you share now.

His hands search for a zip or any easy way to undress you as remove his punkish denim jacket. The feeling of you two undressing each other whilst standing on top of a tower is inexplicable. All you want right now is him, all of him.

He finally finds the zip to your suit and he marvels at the reveal of your chest, it almost makes him stain his trousers. It also didn’t help that you were wearing only your panties underneath.

Hobie would pay thousands, millions if he could see you dressed in nothing but the many jewellery you stole.

You’re just so badass.

“Lay…down..” He whispered in between kisses. You did as he said and lowered yourself to the floor. You stay mindful of your bag of opulence, trying not to knock it off the tower and bash someones head in.

He follows you down, not breaking his steamy kiss. By now, you both are half naked, staring at each other with nothing but pure ecstasy. “Ya gonna let me make you feel good?”

Whilst Hobie males you feel oh so good, you decide it’s time to make him feel just as good. You flip him over and straddle his crotch, staring down at your ex.

No, your boyfriend.

Hobie was already hard just by looking at you, but you grinding on his lap and leaving wet kisses on his torso may send him to a whole different dimension.

You let your fingers travel until you find the hem of his boxers, batting your lashes at him when you pull them down.

Now, Hobie was huge, you know this, but after months of your short lived ‘break up’ you truly forgot how big he felt inside you.

“F-fuckin hell..”, He groans, you figure he must’ve forgotten how good your gummy walls feel when he thrusts up into you. You instantly feel his hands grip onto your hips, rocking you back n’ forth while he feels you nipping at his ear. “Fuck sake, Y/N.”

After a few small movements, you begin to ride him. Your ass bounces off his pelvis as you moan in satisfaction. Hobie looks at you as if you were an angel, but then he sees your claws scratching his chest and he realises you are anything but.

“I missed this..”, You breathed, trying to uphold your dominant side. But it felt too good. “I missed you..”

You’re achingly close to your orgasm just when Hobie flips you around on your back. He looks beautiful with the stars behind him. “Missed you too, kitty.”

Wet, breathless kisses are left on your breasts as if Hobie wants to take you all in just incase something happens. You feel his cock slide inside you again as he whispers into your ear, “You’re so fuckin tight.”

His thrusts speed up as he builds up that sensation again, he wants to decorate your insides with his cum and there’s nothing you want more but for him to do so.

If anyone walked onto the roof and saw the sight of Spiderman fucking the Black Cat so roughly, they’d either faint or run to the newspaper agencies, claiming insanities. But, you wouldn’t mind if someone caught the two of you.

I mean, by the way you’re moaning, you must want someone to find you.

“I’m gonna…cum..” You mewled, gripping onto Hobie’s arms He closed your open mouth with a kiss, letting your moans fall onto his tongue. “Hobiee…fuck!”

“Wait f’ me…I’m so close, babe!” He nipped at your neck as you moaned for the whole city to hear. “Fuckin shit!”

With one more thrust, both of you shook as you climaxed, Hobie kissing your forehead repeatedly. The moans were gone, and replaced with panting. You quickly found your panties and suit and dressed yourself.

You heard Hobie whistle, then chuckle, “Got to do that more often, love.”

“We can after we take this to your place. I’m fuckin freezing, I need hot chocolate!”

“The way I make it?”

You look at his cocky smile, “Duh?”

BONUS:

The next morning, you find yourself clad in Hobie’s Sex Pistol tee, sipping hot chocolate opposite Hobie who’s leaning in his chair, tickling his guitar strings.

“What are your plans for today?” You ask, resting your head on your hand.

“Nuffin..” He sighs as he concocts a new melody with his instrument. “You?”

“Nuffin..”, You sip your drink once more and stare off to the distance.

There is a gentle moment of silence before a blue hexagon appears in Hobie’s living room. You look at Hobie in confusion, why would his spider society choose to come this early?

From the portal, Gwen and a brown haired man holding a ginger haired baby walk in. You’ve met Gwen a couple of time but not the middle aged man.

“Hobie, we need your help with this spiderman called Miles- WOAH!” The man spoke before notcing you, someone he’s never seen before, in Hobies apartment, in Hobies shirts.

“Uhhh…Hobie, there’s somebody in your-” “Peter..” Hobie began, before taking the baby from Peter.

“That ain’t somebody..” He gave you the baby in his hands.

The cute baby looked up at you curiously as you smiled down at her.

“That’s my gyal.”

[youwouldntdownloadapizza]

The Pleasures of The Unknown | Kate Middleton x The Unknown (Glasgow Wonka Experience 2024)

masterlist | ao3 | follow @youwouldntdownloadapizza and turn on notifications for updates

When Kate Middleton mistakenly ends up at a magical chocolate factory in Glasgow, she finds herself drawn to a mysterious cloaked figure with a penchant for dark chocolate.

pairing: Kate Middleton x The Unknown (Glasgow Wonka 2024)

rating: 18+, minors DNI

word count: 1.2k

tags: crack, crack treated seriously, crack fic, smut, mild smut, finger sucking, chocolate, sex and chocolate, light BDSM, choking, thigh riding, rpf, bald harry styles, balddry, infidelity, glasgow, willy wonka experience - freeform, glasgow willy wonka - freeform, Balmoral, british royal family, unhinged innuendo

chapter warnings: smut, infidelity

Kate Middleton stared at her bangs in the Buckingham Palace bathroom mirror.

"I can't go out like this," she complained to William. "The Sun will rip me a new one!"

"Kate, my dear," he kissed her on the cheek, turning to lean against the counter. She continued tugging at her botched fringe until he took her hand. "It's just hair. It'll grow back."

"That's rich, coming from you."

William looked down at his royal bunny slippers with a frown. Even they had more hair than he did. Perhaps he should have them fashioned into a wig. He'd have to ask his frenemy, Harry Styles, for wigmaker recommendations.

"I don't know what to do." Kate looked up at her husband with tears in her eyes. He wiped them away with his royal hanky.

"I do," he smiled. Sliding his hand into his back pocket, he produced the royal AmEx.

"Take a holiday, Kate. Go to Balmoral or Hollyrood for a few weeks. Grow them out. Maybe even get that BBL you've been talking about getting. Scotland is a great place to recover from surgery. What with all the free healthcare and all, innit?" he said Britishly.

"You're so right, William. I'll leave first thing tomorrow."

---

Kate double-checked the address her husband had given her as she stepped out of her royal Uber Black.

"This can't be the right place. Balmoral was never this colorful!"

The cabbie rolled down his window. "Don't worry, ma'am, this is Willy's place! Be quick and get inside, it's looking like rain."

With a soft 'innit', the driver pulled away, and Kate was left on Willy's doorstep.

She assumed 'Willy' was short for her husband 'William', but as she entered the foyer, she began to have her doubts. The place appeared to be some sort of magical chocolate factory.

Although sparsely decorated, the place maintained some air of whimsy. Well, less of an air, more of a spritz, but clamato, clamato.

"Soo la voo," Kate shrugged, walking beneath the sparkly, styrofoam rainbow and towards whatever fate awaited her here.

"Ahh, more guests! Welcome!" A depressed-looking woman in a green wig approached her.

"Here, compliments of Willy," she said, sliding a plastic cup containing a splash of what appeared to be sparkling lemonade into Kate's left hand. Into her right went a single jelly bean.

"What is this?" Kate asked.

"Our welcome gift to you! And only $40, such a deal."

Kate supposed $40 was a fair price for such splendor. After all, if bananas were $10, this was surely worth four times that. She popped the jelly bean and washed it down with the lemonade.

"Carry on down the hallway. Your future awaits."

Kate left her luggage and her empty cup with the so-called Oompa Loompa and proceeded down the bare linoleum hallway. That uncanny-valley candy landscape tapestry really ties the place together, she mused.

A voice greeted her at the end of the hall.

"What. Is. That?" A blonde man in a red top hat and coattails pointed towards an unassuming mirror.

Why, that's me! Kate Middleton! Kate Middleton thought to herself.

Kate nearly leaped out of her skin when the creature emerged from behind the looking glass.

"It's...THE UNKNOWN!!"

That's when Kate fainted.

When she awoke, her head was spinning. "Where am I?" She asked to the blackness that surrounded her.

A deep voice answered her. "You're in the walls. This is my home. My own dark chocolate factory."

"Your what?" Kate asked.

As her eyes adjusted, she realized she was in a small bedroom combined with a confectionary workspace, almost a studio apartment of sorts.

"My dark chocolate factory. You see, Willy Wonka seeks only to pump this world full of river-churned, high-fructose, milky delicious bullshit. What I aim to create is something far more sophisticated. Far more complex. And far, far darker."

"Oh? Might I try some?"

"Why of course," the silver-masked, black-hooded creature pulled back its sleeve to reveal long, nimble fingers.

He crossed to his chocolate worktable and dipped his index and middle fingers into a whirring chocolate fountain. The creature stalked towards her, extending the sample.

Kate leaned towards him, but froze. "Before I suck on your fingers, I should probably know your name."

The creature angled his head, as if considering her. "I have no name. I am only...The Unknown."

Kate's heart raced in her chest. That chocolate, those fingers, it all looked simply divine. And if William could be unfaithful, why couldn't she do the same? She deserved it, just this once. As a treat.

She opened her mouth, and The Unknown slid his fingers past her lips. She sucked deeply, the flavor sliding across her tongue and down her throat, the complex flavor and intensity of the delivery method sending shivers down her spine.

"Are you cold?" He asked.

"A bit," Kate admitted.

"Well then," she could hear the smirk in his voice even if she couldn't see it on his face. "Perhaps I'll have to warm you up myself."

Kate bit her lip. "Would you...put your willy? In my chocolate factory?"

His fingers closed around her throat. She drew a sharp breath.

She could feel his breath as he whispered in her ear, "Forget willies. Forget chocolate factories. Allow yourself to submit, to embrace the pleasures of The Unknown."

Kate let out a shuddering breath as she gazed up at that shiny mask. She didn't know what lurked behind it. She didn't care.

She kissed him then, the plastic of his mask hard against her soft lips. And then she was sprawled on the bed, his knee between her legs, and she was grinding against him.

"Oh, The Unknown!" She moaned.

"Please, there's no need for formality. Call me The."

So Kate did. She sounded like the gilded first word of a sponge's term paper as she wailed his name over and over again, into the dark stillness of this secret room behind the walls.

"I'm close," Kate moaned.

"Good girl."

He leaned down to kiss at her neck. The rough edges of the cheap mask scratched at her sensitive skin, but she didn't care. She was lost in the pleasures of The Unknown.

It was the hair that brought her to the edge, something her husband could never give her. The chemical scent of his cheap, black wig filled her nostrils as she rode his thigh, dangling there on the precipice.

"Ohh!" Kate screamed as she came, her thighs shaking with pleasure as she clenched around nothing.

A low, satisfied chuckle rumbled at her throat, and she swooned. After all these years of marriage, William had never rocked her world like this masked stranger just had. As they lay there together, she slipped into the chocolatey darkness of slumber, utterly content.

---

When Kate returned home, butt bigger and bangs longer, William had wanted to hear about her experience in Scotland.

"What was your favorite part?" He asked.

"I learned a lot about myself on this trip," she told him. "But the most valuable lesson was in learning to embrace the pleasures of the unknown."

"See, a little uncertainty is good sometimes!" He teased, tugging on her much-improved bangs before giving her a soft kiss.

"Mm," he smacked his lips. "Tastes like chocolate."

[thelamentknight]

Laddie Davies

18/Male

British

Dog Beastman

Bisexual

Capricorn

Hometown is the Kingdom of Roses

Twisted from Lady

Rosailles

3rd Year

Vice Dorm Leader

Best Subject is PE

He’s in the Fencing Club

His Favorite Food is Full English Breakfast

His Least Favorite Food is British seafood

Dislikes Thorned Bushes

Hobbies include cooking, embroidery, polish the swords in the training room, reading, sword practice, and collecting berries

Talent: Carrying extremely heavy things

UM “Speak no Evil”

When Laddie uses his UM, a blue collar appears on the person he uses it on. It forces the person to only tell the truth, and the affect lasts for 1 minute until the collar fades away and the person can tell lies again. Using the UM too much would cause lots of blot to build up.

A soft spoken and well mannered gentleman. He’s elegant, responsible, somewhat naive, and known for having the patience of a saint. Despite being kind of reserved and shy, he is always willing to lend a hand to help others, and is never afraid to protect others too. Laddie is also modest, and doesn’t think he’s anything special.

Background:

Laddie is from a noble family in the Kingdom of Roses. His Mother is a Lawyer while his Father is a knight for the royal family. His parents are almost always busy, so Laddie and his little sister had to be taken care of by their extremely strict Aunt, who runs a jelly and jam shop. Laddie helped his Aunt in her business quite a bit, and his sister as well when she was old enough.

Fun Facts:

+ He’s a fan of classic Barbie movies (Like the Nutcracker and Swan Lake). He got into them by watching them with his sister when he had to babysit her

+ Has autism

+ Went to a prestigious Knight school for Middle school to practice his knight and fencing skills.

+ Hopes to become a knight like his Father

+ Will carry all your bags if you ask him, and he won’t complain a bit, no matter how much pain he’s in

+ Dating Travis Pepper

+ Unintentionally, he’s popular with the ladies (he gets flustered and nervous from the attention)

+ He’s quite a book nerd. He’s not a Bibliophile like his Dorm Leader Beau is, but he’s read 1/4th of the books in the Rosailles Palace (he hopes to be able to read at least half of the books before he graduates)

+ A terrible liar

+ Likes collecting berries. He’s done it with his little sister and Aunt, and he likes helping Neige with picking them. He also tries to help with whatever baking or jelly/jam making Neige does. Berry picking is also why he hates thorned bushes (he’s been pricked too many times for his liking)

+ Oblivious to s*x jokes and innuendos

+ His birthday is on Christmas

+ A lot stronger than he appears. Low key has a sleeper build

+ He is actually half Beastman. His Father is a Beastman, but his Mother and Aunt are human.

+ It might be because his birthday is on Christmas, but he loves Christmas season

+ No one has ever heard him say a swear word. Some think he’s unable to say one

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

Archived Link

I saw this article while I was pulling together the Olympic timeline on my last post and all I have to say is: that's some fucking spin.

She told Express.co.uk: "When Harry left his royal duties, he was exploited by American agents. He was suddenly allowed all this freedom to say whatever he wanted. He was hurt that his proposals to work with the palace from afar to protect his family were rejected and the agents he worked with ran with it. They encouraged him to speak his truth rather than offering their skills and expertise to highlight and mitigate any issues the couple might face with that approach. They both needed support to enter the real world outside of the palace gates and instead, they were used as cash cows."

The PR expert is Carla Speight, who's British. She's spoken on the Sussexes a couple of times in 2023. Might she be the British PR firm that Archewell allegedly contracted with to help their British launch?

Anyway. It really does sound like they're trying to whitewash the Sussexes' greed to prepare for a return of some kind. Time will tell but...we may want to start girding our loins because this incredibly suspicious.

[rwrbmovie]

BTS of #RWRBMovie: Stephen Fry as King James III

ML via Tatler:

The character was originally supposed to be a queen – ‘Queen Mary’ is the head of the family in McQuiston’s book – yet none of the grand dames were interested when casting calls went out. 'I think, at that stage of Her Majesty’s life, none of the Dame Judi Denches, Helen Mirrens and Julie Andrewses of the world wanted to do something like that,’ says López. Fry, however, jumped at the chance. 'He said yes right away,’ says López, pausing to laugh. 'Of course, he is friends with His Majesty. I never asked him what he thought the King might think of Stephen playing a fictional British king.’ Perhaps Fry’s friendship with the monarch is why he was so well-versed in decorum and royal protocol. 'He didn’t even have to be told,’ says López. 'He just rattled it off. He was like, “Can I say this instead, Matthew?” I was like, “Yes, fine, you’re Stephen Fry, you can do whatever you want.”

ML via What to Watch:

I think there’s a point at which, once a project starts to actually get some forward momentum, then it starts to become a lot easier to convince people to be in the movie, and by the time we got Uma, I was like ‘great, who else wants to join the fun wagon?!’ Stephen took no convincing whatsoever, that was such a happy thing for me, because I thought ‘well, there’s a very slim chance he’s going to say yes to this’, you know, I’m sure he’s busy, I’m sure he’s not going to want to do it, it’s too perfect, and then he said yes straight away, and I felt so happy.“ 

ML via OutSFL:

I’ve always been such a fan of his [Stephen Fry] and really admired him greatly. We had had some sort of communication through other people over the years because he had seen “The Inheritance” in London. He got word to me, through our producers, how much he loved it. I had been working at one point on another film that I thought I was going to make, and when he found out that I was working on it, he was like. “I’d really love to be a small part in it if you have anything.” But I never talked to him and never met him. When this role came around [laughs], we thought, “Let’s see if he really means what he says!” He jumped at it! It didn’t take long at all for him to say, “Yes.” That was fun. Just to watch him and work with him is just a great thrill and a pleasure. It was for everybody. Everybody was really excited the day that he came on set.

ML via TV Times:

'It was really important to create a lot of daylight between the fictional royal family in the movie and the actual royals - they aren’t the Windsors, ours are completely made up,’ says Matthew, 46. 'But when Stephen walked on set in that double-breasted suit, I think everyone in the cast and crew stood to attention!’

[saintmeghanmarkle]

Meghan Markle's ancestors owned slaves by u/PolishedWoodTable

First of all I have to clarify that I've never commented on here before, but I've been approved to post because of the research I have to share.

So it's been well established that Meghan Markle is descended from Captain Christopher Hussey through her dad's side (https://www.townandcountrymag.com/society/tradition/a13810014/prince-harry-meghan-markle-ancestor-execution-study/). Captain Christopher Hussey was a rich colonialist. I was talking about it to my mom and she wondered if they owned slaves, because most rich colonialists did.

Genealogy is my hobby and I decided to do some digging. Guess what? They did!

Here's a quick family tree to show you how these people relate to Meghan:

And now some info about her ancestors:

Establishing that Stephen is the son of Christopher Hussey (Source: Genealogical and Family History of the State of New Hampshire)

Stephen was a powerful man, huge landowner, slaveholder, and by most accounts an all-round-jerk.

Stephen probably got his slaves from the West Indies. (Source: A Branch of the Hussey Family in America)

Stephen was the biggest landowner of his day. (3 houses!! No wonder he wanted slaves...) (Source: Nantucket Lands and Land Owners)

And here's the part proving Stephen was a slaveholder:

Stephen Hussey's will, leaving his slaves like property to his family (Source: Quaint Nantucket)

I don't have any ultra strong feelings on Meghan but considering like everything that she and Harry have said and done this really shocked me. I know Stephen isn't her direct ancestor, but still ultra weird.

And that's not even the part that shocked me the most...Meghan's director ancestors sold their land to Stephen and so directly profited from his landholding, slaveholding empire. Like...what?? Here are the images:

This ones shows that Huldah Hussey, Meghan's direct ancestor, married John Smith (Source: History of the Town of Hampton of New Hampshire)

And here is John Smith, Huldah's husband, selling his land to Stephen Hussey... (Source: The Pioneers of Maine & New Hampshire)

Aaaaand her director ancestor Christopher Hussey did the same. (Source: Nantucket Lands and Landowners)

I found all this in local New England history books. I can upload all the books somewhere so people can read them for themselves, and on top of the link at the beginning of the post, I also have all the records showing that Meghan IS descended from Christopher Hussey, but there are so many records I'm not sure where to start...whatever anyone wants me to upload just ask.

So...the big question is, does Meghan know this? It seems like a really big deal to me considering the HUGE conversation that's surrounded Meghan's background since she joined the Royal Family.

EDIT to say 2 things:

1. I don't think that your ancestry should have any bearing on who you are and how you're judged. In any normal honest context, it shouldn't ever be considered relevant and every human being should be judged by who they are and what they do, not by what their ancestors did. I for one know that some of my ancestors had slaves. That doesn't make me a racist, and any implication that it did would be totally unfair.

And that's exactly why I created this post -- because that's exactly what Meghan did about the British nation. She has implied from the start that she was rejected by the British ppl -- not just the RF, but everyone -- because of her race. She crafted a narrative that said the British ppl weren't ready to accept a black princess because of post-colonial feeling. She branded an entire nation as being racist simply because of who their ancestors are.

So I created this post to show just how hypocritical that narrative is.

2. Thanks so much for all the compliments from everybody for the work I put into this post, it means a lot!

📌 post link

📌 Post archive link

📌Link to digital format files for referencing

author: PolishedWoodTable

submitted: May 10, 2024 at 12:41PM via SaintMeghanMarkle on Reddit

disclaimer: all views + opinions expressed by the author of this post, as well as any comments and reblogs, are solely the author's own; they do not necessarily reflect the views of the administrator of this Tumblr blog. For entertainment only.

[qqueenofhades]

Welp I didn't bet on "Kate has cancer" being the answer to all the British royal conspiracy theories, but apparently lightning has struck twice

Man alive, this entire saga has been the clearest indication of all time that the British royal family is a) pathologically incapable of learning anything at all ever, and b) just shot themselves in the foot with this insanely contorted, conspiracy-theory-spawning effort to protect Kate, while we have all been well aware of how they hung Meghan Markle out to dry. (Gee. I wonder what the difference here is?)

Basically, this is what you get when you have a deeply corrupt and unaccountable institution addicted to secrecy, convinced of its own righteous importance and disdain for the "little people" (even if Kate will be functioning in the future as their co-head of state and you might think they should disclose that instead of weeks of making the situation even worse) who feels that any "press intrusion" is an affront to them (but y'know, not to Meghan) and an absolutely rabid and wildly dysfunctional monarchist reactionary-populist-racist UK tabloid system who nonetheless has been fairly deferential and meekly willing to do whatever the royal family says behind the scenes (while still running 1000 articles bashing Harry and Meghan, because reasons). Until, of course, they've all fucked it up to such a degree that they have to come clean and will 100% only give the conspiracy theories more oxygen. Great job, gang! Wow. Stellar. Nailed it.

[anonymoushouseplantfan]

"You can���t be a casual Cali/Montecito royal." Hi, Plant, could you explain a bit more what you mean by this. Because my view is if they had been gracious towards the RF on Oprah, (i.e. we're beloved family members, but taking some time out of the spotlight. Then then come back and slowly work on projects in the US.) They could then come back for Trooping etc. Because the Princess Madeline managed to live in the US and keep her Royal image intact. (As far as I'm aware.)

I think that was the expectation in 2020. They would keep their UK charities and Frogmore and remain “beloved family members” attending family events but essentially living their own lives. Their LA lives would presumably retain a royalesque quality because they would go from their last appearances in the UK (which were pretty glam, thanks to Sarah Latham) to the Invictus Games then Trooping, polo season, and Balmoral. They were also going to do their own royalesque events, including a big fundraising tour for Sentebale and a charity concert for Invictus. That was the 2020 plan, I believe.

That’s similar to what Madeline did, although she was more low-key about it. It’s basically a royal life in the US. If the Harkles has stuck to well-known royal behaviors like the Christmas cards and birthday pictures, they could have successfully created an American Royal family. I think that’s what everyone expected them to do.

But Covid messed that up. They kept it going for a while bc everyone was doing Zoom charity calls and that kept the illusion of equivalency going, but the illusion finally shattered with the Oprah interview and then Philip’s funeral. It didn’t help that they were busy embracing James Corden and Ellen Degeneres and behaving like Hollywood clowns. Plus the British charities were sidelined and royalesque behaviors like Christmas cards and birthday pics were not consistently deployed. Their royal brand was steadily eroding.

At that point, they should have focused on their Hollywood projects and building their California brands, but they didn’t. They focused on lawsuits and family drama. They also did a bunch of paid awards, which weren’t really meaningful. The few projects they showcased felt very unprofessional. They didn’t have a real office, just those guesthouse desks. They were renting random locations and doing “coastal grandmother” lawn interviews with Gloria Steinem. Meghan was having fake tea parties with celebrities and Harry was juggling and the whole thing felt very bland and amateurish. They had a random NY tour for no reason (to read her book or something?) and jumped on activist bandwagons haphazardly (BLM, family leave, Iran, Ukraine, Uvalde, whatever…). It was weird.

That’s what I mean by “Casual California Royal.” Things like sending an olive cake to WCF and planting forget-me-nots at a random school. It all felt very whimsical and unprofessional. Worst of all, it did not feel purposeful or passionate.

They the documentary and the book came out and they royal brand just imploded. There’s nothing left now. All they can do is try to build up their celebrity image.

[themultifanshipper]

I would like to contribute my opinion on the lando/trump situation.

Warning, it's long and a bit nuanced (although slightly more a defence than an accusation but still keep an open mind)

And is edited as i find more things to say

First off, Lando is a victim of the formula one machine just like all the drivers. They are the puppets, the clowns, whatever analogy you want. The people behind the teams (team bosses, ceo's, sponsors etc... are what make the machine run, the drivers are just there to drive. He was approached by the ex president of the country he was in, on a high of winning his first race, and shook his hand while a million cameras were pointing in his direction. That can only happen one way: trump being invited by the team (bosses ceo's, whatever). Now, I despise trump and everything he stands for, but if I was in Lando's situation I would have had to do the same thing. (It so happens I was in a similar situation and had to shut my mouth and shake the hand of a politician I didn't like because I could have caused a diplomatic incident and lost my job and cost a lot of money in sponsorships). Also the alleged comments "It was an honour for him to be there/ you have to have respect for him" etc... are probably bullshit, but in the case that they are not and Lando is actually a trump supporter, if you cancel him for it, you would have to cancel half the drivers/team bosses/Ceo's etc in HISTORY.

The founding of formula one (like any institution ever) is by and for White/Rich/Heterosexual/Males. The FIA is corrupt. The teams are corrupt. It's an industry entirely run by money. It's capitalism in a bottle and some of y'all seem to forget that. The fact is the drivers could all be supporters of the right wing parties in their respective countries, would you cancel all of them?

For example, frank williams, the FOUNDER of Williams f1 team was openly a Thatcher supporter. There is a portrait of the bitch in his house (now his daughter's) as seen below, with a picture of.... george russell??

I also added a picture of Thatcher with Colin Chapman to emphasize that political figures often get involved in sports, doesn't mean the athletes align with their views. Trump, Reagan, Thatcher, Francisco Franco (a literal dictator).... they've all done it.

But let's have a quick look at Georgie boy then. A rich white man, he was quite friendly with Frank Williams, does that mean he's a tory? No. (Tbh he probably is but is smart enough to not talk about it)

Lewis Hamilton of all people was invited to lunch TWICE with the British Royal family (not to mention the knighthood), does that mean he's a racist cunt with no regard for other human lives? No. So why would he associate himself with them? Because he's smart enough to not alienate half the bloody population!

If these people had integrity and perfect morals, they would not be racing in F1. And for the few that are genuinely good people, they're smart enough to just be a cog in the machine to ensure their paycheck. We saw it with the horner situation, they won't get involved unless they actually support the bad guy. Similar situation to palestine, if they speak out either way, they will alienate countless sponsors and probably loose their seat.

Yes it's shit, yes it should be different, yes it should be inclusive but it's just not. It's veeery slowly changing though.

But back to Lando: now he isn't perfect obviously. (He's a white cis probably het man) He might even be right wing who knows, but I think taking alleged comments like "you have to respect the guy" out of context is dangerous. Objectively, yes there is an infinitesimal bit of respect you have to have for trump (hear me out) he managed to become PRESIDENT OF THE UNTIED STATES by manipulating the masses into thinking he was basically the reincarnation of God. Man is a genius, even though he's a cock. He's also a brilliant example of nepotism, capitalism and all round discrimination that represents the system we all live in. Additionally, florida is a pretty right wing state if i'm not mistaken (gun laws/anti abortion/anti lgbt etc...) and if lando had told trump to fuck off, there might have been riots and i'm only barely joking. Lando is a dick for the comments that were perhaps a bit unnecessary but y'all are seeing them as him endorsing trump lmao. As a (hopefully) future public figure, if the president of my country came to see me in front of a bunch of cameras i would also say it was an honour to meet him. At this level it's self preservation.

I will finish this rant by saying that I hope the world of f1 will change for the better in future years, already the gender diversification is going in the right direction, some programs are in place for kids who come from poorer backgrounds etc... but expecting that change to come from the puppets of capitalism is quite unreasonable. Lewis has set some standards that hopefully more and more drivers can stick to, but in the meantime cancelling a dude for breathing the same air as trump is stupid.

Ps: Y'all don't know the half of the awful private corporations and sponsors of the teams and drivers, so if you can't cope with the occasional dick on your screen, you might want to pick a different hobby. Preferably not involving public figures or PR in any capacity.

Edit 1: I've been seing ppl get mad at lando for saying he's his lucky charm and I think it's perhaps a language comprehension barrier thing. He did not say that. Trump said he was lando's lucky charm, then lando mentionned that trump had said it.

Edit 2: I've seen some clips of Zak Brown where he seems to be really friendly with trump. I wouldn't be surprised if it was his idea to introduce him to lando. CEO's are rarely great people, and although i'm glad he's been such a huge part of Lando's journey and success, i'm not a big fan of his. I just wish it would have been with someone a bit less complacent, like max or lewis, they wouldn't have said that stuff and the interaction would have been quite entertaining I reckon.

Edit 3: great post about the misunderstood comments at the press conference here

Don't hesitate to insult me in my asks, i will be answering them with equal enthusiasm :)

[canirove]

The Princess & the Football Player | Chapter 1

Summary: "They say they want to make the monarchy more modern, to be closer to the people, but then your parents would prefer it if you married a guy whose Godfather is the freaking Prince of Monaco, instead of a guy from Kingston." Or the love story between Princess Eleanor, heir to the British throne, and Declan Rice, English football player. 

Author’s note: This story has been sitting on my drafts for maybe two months because I never was completely happy with it, and tbh, I still feel the same. Though sometimes those are the ones people like the most 😂 I got inspired to write it during the World Cup when people here in Spain went crazy about the idea of Princess Leonor and Gavi dating and him becoming the future King because she, apparently, is her fan and has a crush on him 😅 That's why on this story, the British Royal family has the name of the Spanish one 😁   Hope you like it, and thank you for reading! 💜

Next chapter

Masterlist

"Ok, ask me one more."

"Dad..."

"Just one more, please."

"Fine" I say, rolling my eyes. "Who is that one?" I ask, pointing at the papers he has on his hands.

"That's easy. Aaron Ramsdale, goalkeeper, plays for Arsenal."

"See? You know them all. Relax."

"I just want to do this right. You are the one into sports, not me."

"You'll be fine, you already know them all from the Euros."

"Yeah" he says, letting out a big sigh. "What about you? Are you nervous?"

"Why would I be?"

"You may be meeting one of your crushers."

"I don't have a crush on anyone on the national team."

"Oh, c'mon Eleanor. You watch all their games, you must fancy at least one of them."

"I don't" I shrug.

"Not even Mason Mount? I've heard girls think he is fit."

"That he is what?" I laugh.

"Fit. That's what Sophie says about boys who are handsome and attractive."

"Yes, Sophie. But not you."

"Why? Because I'm old?"

"No, because you are the King of England."

"Whatever" he says. "You don't like anyone, then?"

"No one. So you better not try anything or do what you did when we met One Direction years ago."

"What did I do?"

"Tell Niall Horan that I had a crush on him? That I had photos of him in my room?"

"Oh, yes" he chuckles. "But don't worry, I won't do it again. I learnt my lesson."

"You better. Just imagine that someone hears something and runs to the press with it. I can already see the headlines: Princess Eleanor in love with a football player. And they'll probably pick the worst option."

"Like Grealish."

"You said it, I didn't" I laugh.

"We've arrived, sir" our driver says.

"Good, good. Are you ready?"

"Ready" I say, taking a deep breath before we step out of the car.

As part of all the media events the national football team is doing before they travel to Canada for the World Cup, we are meeting with them to say our farewells and also give them a little something to remember the occasion. And when I say we, I mean my dad, King Philip of England, and I, Princess Eleanor, heir to the throne.

"Welcome to St. George's Park, your Royal Highness" Gareth Southgate says when we walk in. "The boys are waiting over here."

"Wonderful" my dad says. "How are they feeling?"

"Ready. They can't wait to get on that plane."

After a few words from my dad and the gaffer, it's time to give the players that little something we had for them: a shirt with their number and the name of all the players who have previously worn it.

"We'll do one each, ok?" my dad tells me.

"Ok."

We start calling each player, congratulating them and posing for a photo, everything going smoothly... until it doesn't. Until I froze in place when I find myself looking at the most beautiful blue eyes I have ever seen.

"Your Royal Highness" he says with a smile as breathtaking as his eyes.

"Hi" I reply, my voice sounding all squeaky.

"I was looking forward to meeting you."

"Me? Really?"

"Yes, ma'am. My mum is a big fan of yours, she says you are the best royal."

"Oh, she's too kind" I giggle. I giggled. Why did I do that? What am I, 12?

"Should we pose for the photo?"

"Uh?" I ask, still looking at him. How is he real? How is it possible that I had never noticed that Declan Rice was this handsome?

"The photo, Eleanor" my dad says behind me.

"Oh, yes, sorry. The photo" I repeat, trying to compose myself a bit.

"Big smiles... Perfect" the photographer says.

"Thank you" Declan smiles, taking the box where the shirt is, our fingers touching slightly but making me feel electricity through my whole body. And call me crazy, but judging by the way he looked at me when it happened, he felt the same.

Once we are done giving all the shirts, Southgate gives my dad and I a tour of St. George's Park, but I can't stop thinking about Declan. About his eyes, his smile, about the way that small touch made me feel. I still don't know how I managed to keep going, to be honest.

When we walk outside, some players are practicing free kicks on the training pitch, Declan among them.

"Eleanor, why don't you show these boys how it is done?" my dad says.

"What?"

"We all saw you training with the lionesses, ma'am. That right foot of yours can do things" Mount chuckles.

"But I'm not wearing the right shoes."

"C'mon, ma'am" Southgate insists.

"Ok, then. But if I end up breaking a window, or worse, my ankle... it is your fault" I say, making them all laugh.

"Ready, Rambo?" Rashford asks before shooting.

"Give me your best!" Ramsdale shouts.

"That was so good" my dad says when Rashford scores. "Your turn now, darling."

"Ma'am" Declan says, giving me a ball.

"Thank you" I reply, trying to avoid looking at him, my cheeks already getting hot. "Don't go soft on me, Ramsdale."

"I won't, ma'am" he says with that big smile of his.

"See?" I sigh after shooting and sending the ball far far away. "Wrong shoes."

"Try again" Declan says, putting another ball in front of me. "I know you can do it."

"Will you pay for the window I'm going to break?"

"And I'll carry you to the infirmary myself if you break your ankle" he smirks, making me feel funny things on my stomach, and my father clear his throat behind us.

"Ok" I whisper, trying to forget the thought of his arms around me and taking a deep breath, focusing only on the ball.

"I knew it!" Declan says next to me when the ball goes in, Ramsdale not being able to stop it.

"You believed in me more than I did."

"I've seen you play before, I know what you can do."

"You have?"

"Yep. When you were like... 15? You played a charity game in my area and my mum took the whole family to watch you. I remember that you scored and amazing free kick."

"Oh, wow. I don't know if I remember that day" I chuckle. "I'll have to check the photos back home. I may even see you."

"I didn't look this good, tho. You may not recognize me" Declan says with a cheeky smile.

"But you still had the same eyes, didn't you? Those are hard to miss."

"Thank you, ma'am" he replies, his cheeks turning a dark shade of pink. Did I just make him blush? Me? Oh, wow. "I also remember that I didn't expect a princess to play football like that."

"What did you expect, then?" I ask, raising a brow.

"I don't know" he shrugs. "Maybe that you enjoyed other type of sports, like cricket or that thing with the horses."

"Equestrianism."

"That one, yes."

"Posh sports."

"Yeah..." he chuckles, scratching the back of his head and making the muscles on his arm pop. Why did he have to do that when I was finally acting normal around him, maybe even flirting? Now I'm stuck again just looking at him.

"We must go, Eleanor."

"What?"

"It's time for us to go, the boys have to train" my dad says.

"Oh, yes, of course."

"It was really nice meeting you, ma'am" Declan says.

"You too."

"See you in Canada?"

"See you in Canada" I repeat

"Great" he says with a big smile that makes whatever I'm feeling on my stomach be more intense. "Until then."

"Bye" I say, definitely smiling like an idiot.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━      

"That was nice, wasn't it?" my dad says once we are back in the car.

"Really nice, yes."

"Fell in love with any of them?"

"What?" I say, feeling my cheeks getting hotter and hotter by the second.

"I was only joking, relax."

"Oh" I reply with a nervous laugh.

"You are a clever girl. You know that you can't fall in love with a football player."

"Why not? You married mum and she was a journalist."

"One with a degree and a PhD, a serious career. These boys have nothing beyond money and being good looking. At least some of them" he chuckles.

"These days more and more players are studying while playing, tho" I point out.

"Still, it isn't enough. You are meant to be the next Queen of England. You must marry accordingly."

"Dad, this isn't the 15th century."

"I know, I know. But there are certain things that must still be kept in mind. So when you travel to Canada to support the team, do not fall for any of them, ok?" he laughs.

"Ok" I say, rolling my eyes and looking out the window, thinking that it may be a bit late for that.

[houseofbrat]

I remember Megxit and the Sussexes very well.

Don't come here and try to lecture me about my opinions on Megxit or the Sussexes.

Meghan was new to the BRF, but Harry was not. Harry has been a member of the British royal family since birth.

"William and Kate...serving the way the current monarch wants them to."

William is independent from his father. He's been independent ever since QEII died more than two years ago.

If William was serving the way Charles wanted him to, then William would a) be more transparent about the Duchy of Cornwall finances and taxes as Charles was, b) work more, and c) spend more time with people of the UK that aren't associated with his personal interests.

Instead, William spends 20 WEEKS of the year on VACATION, and that does not even count all the weekends where he isn't working at all.

"That's not the same as using it to recover from chemo."

Really?!

How is spending 30 hours filming Wales fandom porn recovering from cancer?

Even a pharmacist with 15 years of experience in oncology was aghast at Kate's fall music video.

But since Will and Kate made their announcements, you will believe whatever they say.

Because you're a chump!

Or is it just Stockholm Syndrome By Proxy?

You can't admit that Will & Kate are lying to you and that they've been lying all year.

You can't admit that Kate clearly didn't go through a grueling chemo process.

You want to be one of those people, who writes ridiculous excuses like this:

We have no idea the extent to which cancer was found to be present. And no, that doesn’t automatically mean just a few cancerous cells as is present in everybody’s bodies. We have no idea what type of abdominal surgery she had and for what condition.

Why do you even believe what they're saying when your choice to believe them is purely based on your subjective rationale that Will & Kate are just the good guys, who would never lie to the public? If Meghan & Harry were still working royals and pulled the same stunts that Will & Kate have pulled this year, you would be jumping on their asses.

However, because Will & Kate did it, you're perfectly fine with their words not matching reality.

Will & Kate are clearly not making the monarch happy because he's clearly distancing himself from them. If Charles wanted to make it even more obvious, he would have had to place them in the back row on the balcony at the Field of Remembrance concert.

There's a reason why Charles and Camilla didn't take a picture with William last night. They don't want to be associated with him and his bullshit.

Everyone can see that Kate isn't super sick. She had botox done to her glabella before Remembrance Sunday weekend. She looks perfectly fine enough to go out and do engagements, but she won't. Her husband looks terrible, but he still goes out in public, barely.

Can't wait to see their Christmas card this year! It's going to be epic! William with his beard and gaunt frame next to a beaming and perfectly healthy looking Kate. And ALL the kids!

[littlemuoi]

Prince Philip: 'A capacity for unbridled kindness but intolerant of faff' - my memories of the duke by Alastair Bruce (April 12th 2021)

ARCHIVE LINK

The Duke of Edinburgh was a motivator, an impatient moderniser, but he could be abrupt.

Prince Philip had a directness of manner that seemed to alarm many people and even horrified some. But he was capable of unbridled kindness, with the capacity for huge affirmation, support and encouragement.

People of his generation who knew him well said his character was forged from the rather challenging circumstances of his upbringing. Yes, he was royal: a grandson of the King of the Hellenes but, in truth, not really Greek.

The duke's blond good looks came from his Danish ancestry

The throne of Greece was given to a Danish prince in 1863 and this accounted for his blonde Viking good looks. But Greece was never entirely at ease under its monarchy and this put many pressures on Prince Philip's family; added to which, his parents did not enjoy an easy marriage.

Whatever the circumstances of his childhood, Prince Philip was conditioned to be independent, capable, determined and pretty intolerant of faff.

Learning about his rather unconventional start in life, from the vantage of today's social understanding perhaps it's easy to grasp why.

But I want to underscore the frequent kindness he showed to me and invested in many people I know.

Letters about mallard ducks and sturgeon pie

In what has been a remarkable life, he occasionally found time to contact me, often out of the blue, to tell me about things he thought might be of interest.

For instance, in my constant quest to find out the provenance behind strange British customs, he would often share things he had discovered while travelling the country with the Queen. After all, most of his life had been spent living among, colliding with or regulated by the oddities of British life.

The Queen and the duke in July 1947 in Edinburgh, four months before they wed

One letter he wrote to me concerned mallard ducks with gilded beaks.

It had amused him when the Queen, as Duke of Normandy, was presented with two of them on arrival in the Channel Islands, in order to fulfil a feudal due.

Another told me about a pie that had arrived at Balmoral, cooked from a sturgeon, which tradition stipulates must be offered up to the monarch. Both are full of facts, a smattering of humour, but no reference to the weather, how I might be or any other tittle-tattle.

When Prince Philip became the Queen's consort, the change in his life was seismic

It is difficult to understand why he bothered to do this. But I think he was amused to find someone genuinely engrossed in surprising or esoteric interests.

In fact, he was like this with everyone. Or maybe it was his own fascination and passion to fully understand the obscure and how things worked that, seeing it in another, added to his avuncular intrigue.

"This is Alastair... Bungy's grandson"

Not everyone's life had Prince Philip in it. So, perhaps it's worth explaining how he came to overlap with mine.

In 1950, the Duke of Edinburgh took command of HMS Magpie in Malta GC.

For any officer in the Armed Forces, unit command is the tops! It is where your leadership qualities are fully tested and it's where the possibilities for the rest of your career can be broadly set.

Prince Philip (in sunglasses) relinquishes control of HMS Magpie in Malta in July 1951. Pic: AP

It just so happened that HMS Magpie was part of the Destroyer squadron in the Mediterranean Fleet, which was then commanded by my grandfather, Admiral Sir Peveril William-Powlett.

Grandpa was better known as "Bungy", because, as fly-half for the English rugby team in 1922, he had seemed entirely elastic. Every time he was tackled, while at full pelt towards the try line, he seemed to bounce straight up again and run on.

He was also a keen polo player and, here again, the Royal Navy polo team brought Admiral William-Powlett and Prince Philip together.

One of my favourite photographs of them both shows their exhaustion after a fiery chukka under the Mediterranean sun: the youthful and handsome prince beside his balding boss with cups in hand. Their faces convey the joy and satisfaction of a win - probably against the Army.

The Royal Navy polo team brought Philip and Admiral William-Powlett together

Maybe this professional bond between the spirited and able naval destroyer captain and his Admiral made the Duke of Edinburgh, a generation later, hold his avuncular eye out for me.

It certainly meant a great deal to me that, when the duke introduced me to people of his own naval generation, he would say: "This is Alastair... Bungy's grandson."

"Well, get on with it!" - One of the most influential retorts of my life

When I wrote a book about the United Kingdom's coronation ritual, aged 28, I mentioned to Prince Philip that one day I hoped to make a television documentary about the role of ceremony in national life.

In what possibly proved to be one of the most influential retorts of my life, in that it was probably the catalyst to my career heading where it has, he eyeballed me and said: "Well, get on with it!"

With this, he got up and went. And so did I. To do what he suggested.

The day of the coronation - the duke's words spurred Alastair to make his programme. Pic: AP

In fact, within a few months and a great deal of work, I found someone willing to produce the film and it was commissioned by ITV.

Hearing about this, Prince Philip called me into Buckingham Palace for dinner to hear how the project was going. He also invited the film producer, Lord Brabourne; they were cousins by marriage, through the prince's uncle, Lord Mountbatten.

They bookended me at a heavily polished table in a small dining room overlooking the central quadrangle and listened as I explained the litany of refusals and hesitations our production faced from organisations that viewed cameras as invasive, back in 1992.

One by one, they suggested ways that might help me out. But, make no mistake, it was for me to do the legwork, not them.

When one of the solutions these two champions had plotted for me went horribly wrong (I mean, horribly!) Prince Philip tenaciously engaged with the matter, until a solution was found.

The duke maintained close links with the military all his life. Pic: AP

During this spat, there was a big parade for my regiment, the Scots Guards, at Holyrood in Scotland.

The duke, who was for many years the Senior Colonel of the Household Division, attended this and, afterwards, he spotted me across the throng. Striding over, he delved straight into the precise details on what had happened.

His escorting officers, all of whom were much senior to me, listened while the prince and I forensically unpicked what might solve the problem.

The trick was to bite the cat back - respectfully

The duke also had the measure of my often unbridled tenacity too and, when I made an office call to discuss something or other, he greeted me with: "So who have you infuriated today?"

His staff often berated me, probably with good reason, but I never felt this was at the direction of the prince. Actually, I sensed he rather appreciated a "why not" attitude, wherever he found it.

In fact, he loved to hear about the conflicts I had with organisations, which deemed my requests for filming access inappropriate. Perhaps this was because it reminded him of the challenges he faced, as the young consort of a new monarch inheriting a world of fixed attitudes in 1952 set by his late father-in-law's courtiers.

But Prince Philip was no rabble-rouser and, if he judged the defeat I faced as justified, he freely added his reproach, or added criticism.

Prince Philip could be blunt in his criticism but admired a robust response

To get the best from Prince Philip it was vital you girded yourself for his directness of speech, some blunt criticism and refreshingly ruthless cross-examination.

For some, this cat-plays-with-mouse treatment was daunting. But I learnt quite fast that the trick was to bite the cat back, respectfully, of course. Prince Philip admired a robust response.

Occasionally, he would ask for an absolutely truthful view. You knew this moment in his eyes. When it came to this moment, I would like to think the prince knew I gave it straight. And, assuming you could prove a point that countered his, he accepted with implicit respect.

The duke's extraordinary 'Chamber of Horrors'

On one occasion, the prince took me into a room at Buckingham Palace that I think he called his "Chamber of Horrors".

Here he had gathered an extraordinary array of the presents he had been given during a lifetime of public service, openings and anniversaries.

"What do you think that is?", he asked, while handing me a rough lump of worn and rusted metal mounted on a wooden base. My fingers felt the dedication label and instinctively, I was moving it towards my eyes. "No, don't read the inscription - think! Guess?"

Well, my suggestion was way off the mark. "It's one of the teeth from the machine that dug out the Channel Tunnel," he revealed

It was clear he was interested in the object, what it had done, but I could see why it had not been put on display.

A forgotten meeting and remarkable patience

The duke was a masterful and timely letter writer, never wordy and always to the point. He typed most of them himself, adding his splendid, powerful but minimal signature "Philip" by hand.

While his staff used paper embossed with his heraldic badge in black, the prince himself had it printed in his chosen livery of green. If you sent him a letter, you could be certain that the postman would be back at your door within three days, with a special delivery reply. He dealt with everything with the discipline and efficiency of a wartime naval officer.

A painting of Prince Philip in 2017, the year he retired, by artist Ralph Heimans

On one occasion, I can't think why or how, I completely forgot an office call I had booked with Prince Philip at Buckingham Palace. But then, I am and have always been horrifyingly forgetful.

I remembered with a jolt when the prince's military equerry rang to ask where I was. I admitted that I was in Hampshire. In a voice that sounded barely muffled by a hand, I could hear: "He's in Hampshire, Sir."

There was a short pause, the sound of the telephone being grasped and then: "You're a bloody idiot!" from the prince. Then, with probably as much surprise that I had achieved this particular forgetfulness, he added by way of instant forgiveness: "You had better sort out a new time. I'm here a lot next week."

Indeed, the prince was remarkably tolerant of my inefficiency considering he was the personification of the efficient. One story fully bears this patience out - particularly, as I did not deserve it.

The duke (at Trooping the Colour in 2017) pulled some strings to secure a last-minute message. Pic: AP

I have already referred to the Duke of Edinburgh being Senior Colonel of the Household Division, which included my regiment. When I wrote a book with the photographer Julian Calder on the Queen's Birthday Parade, Trooping the Colour, we wanted a foreword from the senior colonel.

His private secretary asked when the book was to be published. Next week, I replied.

"Next week?!"

Sure enough, within seven days a message of eloquence was ours to print and it made all the difference.

"You're a bloody idiot! Nobody will be interested!"

Within the last few years, we were at someone's house for dinner and, afterwards, while coffee circulated, Prince Philip came and sat beside me on a sofa. He told me how he had been flicking through the TV channels, probably looking for a documentary on nature. "And there you were talking a lot of nonsense about me!"

Well, inevitably, he thought the programme was "jibberish" but, as if, in fact, affirming what I had been saying in the programme, he took up the points I had been making and explained precisely what had been his view of the situation.

Prince Philip broke a heart-shaped chocolate in half and gave it to Alastair's newly-engaged parents

In this way, Prince Philip was endlessly robust, consistently gave zero quarter but would readily square up and be open about facts he knew, if faced by genuine interest.

I think my favourite story about him is not even a memory of mine but one that my mother and father told me once.

The night they announced their engagement, in Malta in 1950, Prince Philip shared a taxi home with them to the road where the two families, my mother's and the Edinburghs', lived.

On the way, a box of chocolates was passed along the line and the prince picked the strawberry-flavoured heart, broke it and gave them each a half.

He came to their wedding, where everyone was in white because this was the naval uniform at the time. This adds a magic to the black and white photographs, some of which include the dashingly Viking chisel-cheeked duke enthralled in conversation.

I still have the clock on my mantelpiece that he and Princess Elizabeth gave as their present, complete with the message of goodwill inside, handwritten and signed by them both.

Within a year, she was our Queen and he her loyal, robust and supporting consort.

A clock presented to Alastair Bruce's family by the Queen and Prince Philip

This change in the duke's life was seismic.

He must always have known it was coming but the suddenness was stark, especially for a capable naval commander whose upwards career was now set by the annual reports he earned from my grandfather's judgement.

From even the small knowledge I have of this titan in British public life, who took such a generous interest from time to time in what I was up to, I can be fairly certain of what he would say to me, after reading this.

"You're a bloody idiot! What a lot of nonsense. Nobody will be interested in this!"

[thegreymoon]

I am really not the target demographic for Red, White and Royal Blue and honestly, the entire premise sounds dumb af from where I'm sitting, but all the gifs that crossed my dash looked hilarious and that main actor is beyond gorgeous, so I am going to give it a shot tonight. My expectations are so low, that unless this movie gets a shovel and starts digging, there is no chance it cannot exceed them. I am so ready to eat my words, just give me some pretty people, mindless fluff and basic comedy and I will be happy, I swear!

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TWO FUCKING HOURS?

You guys, I'm going to be honest here, I don't think I have it in me to sit through this 😭😭

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LOL, only a younger brother 🤣🤣 They did not have the guts to go all in and make him the heir to the throne.

Also, lol @ "Prince of England's hearts" but even more so at "whom all the world adores" 🤣🤣 I cannot. I am absolutely not the target demographic for this and I don't think I have it in me to just go along with this, fictional British royal family or not. Who speaks like this? Who even believes it?

Anyway. Abolish the monarchy, Guillotine them all. Long live the glorious revolution!

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LMFAO 🤣🤣

Well, at least he looks equally disgusted.

If we can't off the royal family, how about we just off this news announcer? Because I am getting so much second-hand embarrassment.

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LMAO, OK, he gets ONE point 🤣🤣

OK, fine, two points, because he is stupid beautiful and the reason I sat down to watch this in the first place 😤

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Yassss, girlfriend has great taste!

I'm two minutes in and so far, she's my favourite. I would totally watch a two-hour movie of her touring London and giving commentary on the yumminess of various guys she encounters.

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LMAO, is he going to get hammered and smash the obscene 75-thousand-pound cake? 🤣🤣

Because why else would they mention that price point and also show the cake in all its humongous 8-tier glory 🤣🤣

Here for the diplomatic incident, ngl, I would totally read the shit out of that in the tabloids the next day 🤣🤣

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NOOOOO, THE CAKE IS RIGHT BEHIND THEM!

THEY WILL TOTALLY TOPPLE THAT CAKE!

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Okay, I am laughing 🤣🤣

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SCREAMING 🤣🤣

I saw it coming from a mile away, but goddamn, it DELIVERED! 🤣🤣

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I can't stop laughing 🤣🤣

Watching this was such a good decision 🤣🤣

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LOL, if this was a real-life event, I would spend a week gleefully reblogging it on Tumblr, no lie 🤣🤣

Also, it is a 9-TIER CAKE, not 8 🤣🤣 The more, the messier!

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LMFAO 🤣🤣

Also, OMG! Uma Thurman! 😍 It's been a hundred years since I watched her in anything!

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"Sunshine of my heart" 🤣🤣

This movie is hilarious 🤣🤣

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Wait, Sarah Shahi??

I loved her in Life! I also watched Fairly Legal for her and thought she was stunning in The L Word! I'm forever bitter we never got to see that Nancy Drew adaptation with her in the main role 😕

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The thing that is the most difficult for me to suspend my disbelief for is the idea that these two overly privileged young men involved in their countries' respective politics are actually nice people.

I keep chanting to myself, "You are not here for realism! You are not here for realism! YOU ARE NOT HERE FOR REALISM!"

To varying levels of success 😕

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Romantic comedies are so not my genre. And I am so not here for ex-boyfriends or whatever this guy is.

I need Alex and Henry to get back together ASAP and start smashing cakes again because I'm starting to get bored.

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These are gutter-level jokes.

Seriously, they couldn't get more creative?

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They have the most basic taste in literature ever. It doesn't even feel authentic, more like what a nineteen-year-old girl thinks good taste in literature should look like.

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I feel like I am extremely uncharitable towards this movie (the cake thing was funny tho) but it is very hard to take their bland flirting, pedestrian romance and pathetic humour seriously when you're coming into this from 2ha 😕 The standards that have been set are on another planet compared to what we are being given here.

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Please 😭

And smash another cake, otherwise I don't know how I'm going to make it through another hour-and-a-half of this 😭😭

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The things I will watch for pretty people 😭

He truly is stupid beautiful and makes this thing infinitely more watchable every time he's on screen.

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I'm with Henry on this one, this party is like something straight out of my worst nightmares and crushing on the tall, hot guy seems like the only tolerable thing in this whole hellscape.

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Aww, baby, he is not having a good time.

He wants to kiss him for New Year's too!

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LOL.

Well. That escalated 🤣🤣

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NOOOOO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING JUST STARING AFTER HIM?

RUN AFTER HIM AND TELL HIM IT'S OK AND THAT YOU SHOULD CONTINUE SOMEWHERE BEHIND CLOSED DOORS!!

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And some women! 👀

She's my favourite character in this thing, lol, followed closely by Sarah Shahi and Uma Thurman. And then Prince Henry 😅

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This guy stands no chance to the level that it's embarrassing he still keeps trying.

I almost feel sorry for him, but I kinda have the feeling that he's going to be the one to out Alex and Henry, so my sympathy is very shallow. Just know when you've lost, my man, and MOVE ON.

[mim526]

How Do You Solve the Problem of Harry

From Daily Mail:

‘Our country is judged globally by the state of our Press and our Government — both of which I believe are at rock bottom. Democracy fails when your Press fails to scrutinise and hold the Government accountable, and instead choose to get into bed with them so that they can ensure the status quo.’ ~~ Testimony given in court June 7, 2023 by Harry Mountbatten-Windsor, 5th in line to British throne

Now he's done it. Harold has truly set the fox among the chickens.

Excerpts from one of the best summaries I've read of the situation with Harry and what needs to be done to address it:

"...what he wrote about [the Government] being at ‘rock bottom’ amounts to an unprecedented attack by a senior member of the Royal Family (Harry is fifth in line to the throne). No such royal broadside against elected politicians has ever before been delivered during the history of our constitutional monarchy. It is deplorable — and dangerous.

"...Yet here is the highly privileged Harry, who wrongly accuses the Press as a whole of not holding the ‘rock bottom’ Government to account, doing his utmost to curb newspapers — so that they won’t be free to hold rich and powerful people like him to account. It’s mind-boggling. "This spoilt and entitled man can say whatever he likes, however self-serving. I don’t even mind too much his ignorant attacks on the Press since the Fourth Estate can look after itself, and has survived more formidable foes than Harry

"What I do object to is his assault on the Government — not because I like this crew very much or esteem their competence, but because they are our elected representatives, and shouldn’t be publicly excoriated by an unelected, and foolish, senior member of the Royal Family. "Our constitutional arrangements are a delicate organism, the product of past divisions and compromise. We tolerate — some of us may revere — an unelected head of state, and a Royal Family with all the trimmings, on the firm understanding that they stand apart from politics. "It has worked well enough for the past 200 years because, with a few exceptions, we have had monarchs who have understood the limits of their powers, and respected the right of elected politicians to govern, albeit with the benefit of royal advice. "Of course, no one better understood the importance of safeguarding this precious relationship between Crown and Parliament than our late Queen, Elizabeth II. How Harry’s coarse political invective would have grieved her. "He’s like an unguided missile, sighting enemies here and there, emitting a good deal of smoke and making lots of noise, before finally crashing to earth with an inevitable explosion — and then mysteriously taking off again, seeking some new target. "In short, he’s potentially lethal. If he describes the Government today as ‘rock bottom’, next month or next year he will unearth another disobliging adjective in defiance of our constitutional traditions....  "Or he may direct his rage once more against the royal institution that nurtured him and endowed him with such significance as he will ever have in this world. His father the King hasn’t been immune to his criticisms in the past, and won’t be in the future. "Harry is a divisive figure. He sets people against each other on issues ranging from the Press to the Royal Family to racism and now, his latest bugbear, the Tory Government. "We can work on the assumption this tumultuous character isn’t suddenly going to learn how to behave. That’s never going to happen, with him 6,000 miles away in California, and Meghan by his side. Their future income depends on fomenting controversy. "Harry is the King’s number one problem. And it is not, as Charles should know and his mother certainly realised, primarily a family problem, though it’s partly that. Harry is chiefly dangerous because he is a constitutional liability. "The King loves his errant younger son, despite the lack of respect he has shown to him. I’m sure he hopes Harry will one day return to the fold. But think of the damage he could do before that happens. And of course he might never return. "If the two of them were still close, and spoke to each other, a way might still be found of persuading Harry to stop stirring. But he is alienated from his father, and the rift inevitably widens with every inept public intervention. "There’s only one way. It may be hard for the King as a father, but it should be easy for him as a monarch and head of state. Prince Harry must be told that if he wishes to remain a member of the Royal Family, he will have to behave as members of the Royal Family are expected to. "If he can’t accept this ultimatum — and I don’t imagine he could — Prince Harry must become a private citizen, in which role his facile declamations will soon be barely noticed, and cause no more damage to the country he once served."

What this journalist did not say is

Even if he agrees with Harry about the government -- King Charles needs to initiate action as monarch/head of state to a) give Harry the ultimatum to behave as a royal then b) work with Parliament to divest Harry of his royal status if he refuses to comply.

The Prime Minister as head of the government needs to view Harry's comments re: the government given in court as the constitutional crisis they are and accordingly, advise the King to take this action

What could/should happen to Charles as monarch if he does not deal with the legitimate and serious constitutional crisis a senior member of the monarchy has created.

Interesting discussion of monarch/prime minister roles: What role should the monarch have in a constitutional crisis? | The Constitution Unit Blog (constitution-unit.com)

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We are way past W&C vs. C&C fandoms now. This journalist is absolutely correct that Harry is Charles' number one problem for which there is but one solution. We can debate whether Charles was a good father; he certainly was and is a loving one.

Being a good monarch is more than charitable works and long hours on the job. I would argue that more consequences for bad behavior as a child could have addressed the uber entitlement/arrogance underlying Harry's foolhardy, but dangerous activities as an adult. There weren't consequences, however, so here we are. Harry's responsible for Harry now, period, full stop.

I hope Charles can be persuaded to firm his resolve and do what he won't want to but needs to do to preserve the monarchy. It cannot survive if Harry is allowed to continue pitting it against the government. That is not an exaggeration: Harry made very clear he was acting as an HRH and senior member of the royal family when suing the British press and speaking against the British government. Word to the wise, Harry will not stop with the British government....

#Harry #MirrorGroupTestimony #ConstitutionalCrisis #It'sCrunchTime