#which i really appreciate in this case
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Everything Everywhere All At Once
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An aging Chinese immigrant is swept up in an insane adventure, where she alone can save what’s important to her by connecting with the lives she could have led in other universes.
Letterboxd:
[two seperate reviews, because they're short]
Started crying at the line about taxes and laundry and didn't stop until the movie ended this is one of the best things i’ve ever seen in my piece of shit life.
#a24 i don't think counts as indie anymore but i'm accepting this and beeaao movies#(before eeaao)#since the studio seems to have been indie at that time#don't think i have to say too much about this one. i love it.#the queer characters are mostly secondary but alternate universe evelyn is queer and she's the main character so.#counting it#i think you could also argue queer themes but i'd argue it's more about generational disconnect and reconnection and whatever#and that is affected by queerness but the queerness isn't really the point#which i really appreciate in this case#also going on the record here: stephanie hsu was ROBBED#give jamie lee curtis an emmy for that episode of the bear but give stephanie the oscar for this movie#she just had a harder role with more range and it was more impactful#and like the oscars aren't the tonys it's not a popularity contest#it's based on actual merit (and pretentiousness)#about movies
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lots of people interpreting Ashton's "i want the gods to pray to us" devoid of the context of the lines directly before and after it, so here's the full quote: "in my darker moments, that's what i want, is i want to see them pray to us. i want to see them ask what we want." it was not intended to be a statement, but an admission, and it wasn't about worship at all; its about the fact that Ashton spent his whole life praying to any and all gods for some safety or healing or comfort and got nothing, only for them to finally bother to show up when he and the Hells became useful or inconvenient.
#saw a post that argued extensively against the 'pray to us' line without realizing that half of the points they were making#were in fact supporting what ashton said directly after. it then ended by saying anybody who agreed with him lacked media literacy#which i mean you really have to appreciate that kind of classic fandom posting#crposting#ashton's perspective is by their own admission imperfect and theres room for critique. but like no one on here is doing a good job lol#idk that person could have realized and just gone with it anyways#in which case i guess the real media literacy test is identifying that they misrepresented their source lmao#cr spoilers
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poor man.
#not enough appreciation for how unbelievably stressful this trial must've been for him it's so funny wjdhdks#sure ryuunosuke was having a bad time when albert confessed but barok was having a REALLY bad time#dai gyakuten saiban#barok van zieks#albert harebrayne#benjamin dobinbough#dgs spoilers#tgaa spoilers#barok throws the whole bottle out the first time albert objects to a contradiction ryuunosuke finds in the prosecution's argument#which i think is the earliest he ever does it in any of the cases. man really only realised what he was getting himself into at that moment#benbaro#<- sure i'll tag it#thank u to lacry on yt for uploading their playthrough <3 i couldn't be damned to screenshot and transfer them from my switch
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Y'all. Probably the most UNIVERSALLY ACCEPTED criticism against grrm is the abundance of gratuitous extreme sexual violence against women in asoiaf. GoT doubled down on that and is endlessly criticized for that. On the ONE (1) INSTANCE where sexual violence was NOT part of a female character's arc in grrm's work, HotD decided to introduce it as a means of giving "nuance" to a story and making a character more sympathetic. And now not only is this not considered a sexist narrative but on top of that you call this an inspired twist ffs I'm gonna eat my hair
#like there is no way to be so unserious guys#just decide#i can't believe we have been trashing GoT for centuries now for the exact same thing we are appreciating in HotD right now#'HotD is different' really? Where?#because of the lesbian drama? WOW#Is it based on shock value? yeah#does it have gratuitous violence? yeah#does it have MORE gratuitous violence than the author? YEAH#does it use rape as a means of sympathizing with a character like in Show!Sansa's case#which was THEN considered Oh So Problematic for some reason?#YEAH#asoiaf#fire and blood#anti hotd#aspa rambles#forever mad
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I’ve been trying to figure out how to phrase it but I love how willing cellbit is to engage with games on their terms. It doesn’t matter what the game is, he always approaches it with the same level of respect, like he’s working with the game to see what it’s trying to show or accomplish. It really speaks to a deep appreciation for video games as a storytelling medium
#cellbit#I’ve joked about it before but it really is so refreshing#there’s a lot of people that use games as a tool for comedy#and on the other end there’s a lot of people that do technical criticism of games#(both of which are fine and in a lot of cases entertaining)#I just really appreciate the appreciation he has for games ESPECIALLY smaller productions
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btw im sorry i never really reply to comments/compliments directly i actually really appreciate them i just have bad social anxiety online /gen
#not fanon#i actually look back at comments and compliments i get a lot and really appreciate/am thankful for them very much#i just dont know how to respond/feel too anxious to respond#the only exception is when i get asks in which case i have to respond directly#but otherwise i dont want ppl thinking im ignoring their responses on purpose.. i actually really love reading ppls responses to my stuff#it makes me very happy knowing ppl like my stuff so much i love reading peoples reactions
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"Administratively, too, [...] queens were considered the legal lords of their landholdings. [...] Grants noted that the queen's officials had administrative autonomy without being subject to the king or anyone else, and evidence of the same assumption can be gleaned from court rolls that were recorded with headings indicating the lord of the manor whose court proceedings were being enrolled. As an example, some court rolls for the manor of Haveringatte-Bower specified that it was the court of [Margaret of Anjou] that was in session, while later rolls recorded Elizabeth Woodville as the lord of the manor court."
-Michele Seah, 'My Lady Queen, the Lord of the Manor': The Economic Roles of Late Medieval Queens", Parergon, Volume 37, Number 2, 2020.
#queenship tag#margaret of anjou#elizabeth woodville#I really appreciated how Seah acknowledged the uneven surviving evidence for her subjects and how that affects her analysis.#It was very brief but it was more than what most historians do so it was very refreshing :)#my post#english history#this is for @ anon who asked if its true that Margaret mostly hosted her own courts while EW mostly stayed with her husband#I'm not sure which (if any) historian has said something like this* but I highly doubt it's true !#We don't really have solid itineraries in place for either queen to make any kind of firm conclusions of the sort#(ie: about their residences or anything else) though I'm sure it would have varied depending on the situation#But either way it's explicitly clear that both Margaret and Elizabeth held their own courts in their own lands on multiple occasions#And we also have evidence of both of them residing with their husbands in regular circumstances#*tbh this is too long to get into right now but this assumption does fit into the few 'revisionist' interpretations of both Margaret and EW#(which imo is just as degrading as her traditional interpretation for the latter) so I wouldn't be surprised if some#historians may have framed their situations in such a way and relied entirely on their own assumptions to do so#Either way as far as I know there is no evidence of any such contrast existing - at least not on a consistent basis.#and the evidence we do have contradicts the assumption#Hope this helps! I figured a proper excerpt from this article would clarify the point better than any direct answer from me <3#also in case anyone was wondering I *think* the title ('My Lady Queen the Lord of the Manor') was referring to administrative accounts#of EW based on what Seah wrote here - though ofc I'm not sure#queue
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well hold on, if we define a character flaw as any limitation a character deals with, regardless of whether it's something Morally Wrong With Them or not, then Ford's paranoia counts as a character flaw since it does in fact negatively impact him and the people around him. Let me use better wording here: I will die on the hill that Ford's paranoia is not a moral failing.
#'i'll die on this hill' one second later: un-dies on that hill on a technicality#godsrambles#one way in which i probably differ from ford is that i could not care less about winning any arguments all i care about is being accurate#people are right about a lot of fords character flaws actually. the part they are wrong about is which ones are Moral Failings#and also people misinterpret his motivations and intentions behind things. but the flaws themselves? sure yeah people can identify those#unpopular opinion but i think ego is fine on its own too depending on how you define ego. case in point: papyrus. yknow the skeleton#it only becomes a problem when you're putting other people down. which i dont think ford is guiltless of but. the others do that too#idk sometimes when other people go 'omg... ego moment :/' im like 'a chance to hype eachother up! yay' i dont assume im being looked down o#unless thats specifically demonstrated to be happening#but the thing that kills me is that stan constantly puts other people down. but since he doesnt idk have an ego or talk weird its fine??#i very much agree with dipper when he replied to mabel with 'ford doesnt make fun of me all the time like you guys do'#and like once again. to each their own#some people see that level of making fun of people/being made fun of as just friendly banter and thats fair enough#but i really appreciate that ford isn't like that
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Hi Pia
Feel free to ignore if this is unwelcome, but have you ever thought about publishing traditionally to sublimate your income and draw in new readers? I know you've self published two books already and that you didn't feel like they did very well, but maybe the experience would be different if someone else was in charge of marketing and all the other business stuff?
Obviously everyone's experience is different but as an author myself who's published both trad and self, traditional publishing has been a completely different experience and has allowed me to focus more on writing because I'm not the one responsible for advertising/marketing/financing anymore.
There are a ton of literary agents nowadays that want to represent diverse and lgbtqia+ fiction, some of them even in Australia.
Websites like Reedsy, AgentQuery and Jerichowriters have extensive directories to find literary agents.
(This is lengthy folks so I'm putting the other two parts (and my response) under a read more! Also putting it under a read more so the anon can skip my response since it's very 'here's all the reasons I can't do this' and they just might not want to read that, lmao)
(continued -> )
Trad publishing houses have better resources for marketing and helping authors get more attention than any self publishing website could.
Obviously most authors, unless they're really prolific, don't get a huge advance (the average is between $1000 - $5000) but getting your foot in the door or on the traditional publishing "ladder' so to speak can have a huge benefit for your serials. Because it gives you more exposure. Plus it's in the agent's best interest to find a publishing house that accepts stories that contain darker themes and negotiate the best deal for you.
For some reason places like Amazon and the like accept and keep up more "dark" books that are traditionally published than they do with self pub ones. Maybe because they have more respect or leniency for publishing houses? I have no idea. But you could use this to your advantage. I think I remember you mentioning that writing novels felt quite isolating to you? But you already have 2 completed novels (3 if you count the fae one) that you could potentially revisit or rewrite to your liking and get them represented by agents.
You already have a loyal readership and that's very attractive to trad pub houses and agents.
As well as trad publishing, you could also make s simple website that doesn't require much maintenance. It could be just a landing page that says something about you and then has links to your tumblr and patreon where you're more active. That way you increase the chances of getting your serials found by additional readers and also come across looking more "professional". Not that you're not professional now. You are and I admire you greatly, but the unfortunate reality is a lot of people still judge by appearances and some will be more drawn to an author's website than a tumblr page, at least at first. So I think having a simple landing page would open up another door for you to benefit from.
Trad publishing is work but definitely not as much as self publishing, and you can continue on with your serials. Getting an agent can be time consuming but I personally believe the pros outweigh the cons and I also believe that your stories would be a huge treasure to the growing lgbtqia+ market. Seriously there needs to be more!
These are just suggestions and thoughts and like I said before, feel free to ignore. But I know you've mentioned wanting to grow your career in the past and I genuinely believe you can do so with some of these pathways.
~
Okay, my response. Posting this because firstly I think the suggestions could work very well for other authors reading this! And I hope they take the advice to note, and secondly because I haven't talked about this for a hot minute so let's talk about it again.
So the TL;DR is yes I have considered traditional publishing. I have actually been traditionally published in short stories, poetry, and also had my art published on covers and re: interior illustrations. But my Fae Tales works got soundly rejected when I sent them to publishing houses that were doing open calls for that sort of material. I've never heard back from an agent and I never expect to, heh.
~
Now for a bit more detail
I have been traditionally published before (it's how I got my writing out there long before I ever wrote serials), and yes, I have approached publishers with my writing since then. In fact Tradewinds was written for the traditional publishing market, and it got soundly rejected, and then shelved. The reasons it was rejected ran the gamut from 'I don't like that these fae eat humans no one is going to relate to these people' (while the editor then went on to publish vampire books idk) to 'There's too much worldbuilding you can't expect readers to keep up with this' to 'Your stories are too long, no one wants to read characters talking all the time.'
Meanwhile in my online serials I was getting feedback like 'my favourite chapters are the ones where the characters just sit in a room and talk' lol.
The traditional publishing world is also not quite as utopian for most authors as you make it seem. I'm friends with a lot of authors who are traditionally published because that's the world I came from, and unless they're solely in KU and doing generic rapid release formula romances, none of them are making that much money. Certainly not enough to live off. It may have been that you were very fortunate, anon, but I know hundreds more traditionally published authors that left trad pub to make money, and I know about 5 in trad pub personally who are making enough to live off of.
Only one of those is really writing what she truly loves to write, and even then, publishing houses have refused to commit to her entire fantasy series (and she's regularly in 'Top 10/20 Women Fantasy Authors in the World' lists) and forced her to finish the series prematurely. Something I never ever have to worry about in self pub.
The reality is that in trad pub these days, you're still in charge of most of your marketing unless you're one of the big earners for the publishing house. In fact I'd be expected to keep even more of a social media and marketing presence than I do now. I don't do almost any of the things you're supposed to do as an author in marketing to be appealing. I don't have a Facebook author account. I don't have an Instagram author account. I don't maintain or regularly send out newsletters (which automatically puts me in the like 0.05% of authors who make money doing this lmao).
I don't know if you ever have looked that closely into what m/m publishing houses expect from most of their authors, but the newsletter swaps, cover releases, review circuits, interview circuits and more are fucking grueling. We're expected to be responsible for our advertising and our marketing to a fairly massive degree. Some traditionally published in m/m still have to pay for their release blitzes out of pocket. These publishing houses, by and large, do not offer advances. You say most authors don't get large advances. I don't think most authors in this arena get offered advances at all unless they're somehow miraculously acquired by a Big 4.
We're expected to have an already established social media presence because of that (that's why it's so appealing to publishers that we have social media presences already, anon, so we can market, they can save money, and we still see only a minimal cut from the royalties).
And you still have to focus on your finances, because publishing houses like Dreamspinner straight up didn't pay a whole bunch of authors for so long they destroyed careers. They still haven't paid some of their authors. And they're still running a business and people still buy their books.
Trad publishing houses have better resources for marketing and helping authors get more attention than any self publishing website could.
This is true if a) they're a big publishing house and not an indie publisher of which most LGBTQIA+ publishing houses are and b) they're willing to use them on you.
The authors that make the most money get the most resources. If they believe you're going to earn back your advance and move thousands or tens of thousands of units per book, then yes, you will get those resources.
I have been told so many times now - even from friends who run publishing houses, including one who works at HarperCollins - that my work will never be mainstream enough to have broad appeal. They literally told me not to keep trying re: trad pub, because that was my dream for a long time. These folks have given me rock solid advice in the past, it's one of the reasons I'm doing so well now via Patreon + Ream. But they were like (paraphrasing) 'you don't write 60-80k romances and you don't want to and that's not your strength anyway, you're multi-genre which makes you hard to market, you write psychological and literary trauma recovery which is hard to market, you write character studies which are hard to market, publishing houses often don't commit to series anymore if the first two don't move units and if they pulled the plug you'd be contractually obliged to never finish that series until your contract was up.' I could go on, but it was like yeah...actually. Fair.
For some reason places like Amazon and the like accept and keep up more "dark" books that are traditionally published than they do with self pub ones. Maybe because they have more respect or leniency for publishing houses?
They do, but most publishing houses want very formulaic dark romance which is not what I write.
I have a 300k omegaverse slowburn that still hasn't had any penetrative sex in it, anon. Publishing houses don't want that. They don't expect anyone will wait 4 full length novels to get to literally a single penetrative sex scene.
But you already have 2 completed novels (3 if you count the fae one) that you could potentially revisit or rewrite to your liking and get them represented by agents.
If I rewrote them to my liking, trad pub wouldn't want them. They'd be too long! I think agents etc. take one look at me and go 'oh god, no thank you!' I'm not an easy sell, by any means.
Plus I'm very e.e about all of that with the knowledge that they then give me only about 10-15% of the royalties on the sales, vs. self-pub where I get around 70%, or subscription where I around 80% of it. When someone subscribes to me, they don't have to worry about 85-90% of their subscription fee going to a publishing house. I don't have to think about how many thousands and thousands of books I'd have to sell to make the same amount that I do now via subscription.
As well as trad publishing, you could also make s simple website that doesn't require much maintenance.
If it was that simple, I'd be doing it. I don't mean this in a facetious way, I mean it in a: I've made a lot of websites, in fact I run one at the moment not connected to my writing (I've been running it for so long it's now in its 20s and can probably has a driver's license). I find it so tedious that I barely remember to check in on it. But forgetting about it means there's always maintenance to keep up with when I get back to it.
Running websites is simpler than it used to be, but it's still not simple. There's hosting and hosting costs, there's server changes, there's back-end maintenance etc. I'm considering it for down the track, but there's a reason I decided to go the route of Patreon over my own site. There are authors (like Christopher Hopper) who actually do subscription through their own domain, but it's a lot of work.
Even placeholder sites are still work. They need updating, details change, story titles changing etc. Maintaining my Patreon + Ream About pages is enough, they're always both a little out of date, lol.
Not that you're not professional now.
Oh no, I mean from a 'traditional publisher looking at me to see what kind of candidate I am' I'm really not though. Like I said, I don't have the newsletter (100 subscribers who get one newsletter a year is not really a newsletter), I don't have the Facebook/Tiktok/Insta/Twitter/Bluesky/Threads accounts, etc. I write multi-genre across multiple steam levels, and I'm allergic to writing serials shorter than 150k. One of my best performing original serials was an 800k contemporary story with no sex in it but a lot of BDSM. It can't be marketed as clean or sweet, it's not high steam, an entire chapter is 'boy saves snail from rain.' Also he was cruel to animals, so not exactly what I'd call a sympathetic main.
And yet that story did so well for me via Patreon + Ream, because people want the kinds of stories that publishing houses generally don't want and I happen to be writing them.
Trad publishing is work but definitely not as much as self publishing, and you can continue on with your serials. Getting an agent can be time consuming but I personally believe the pros outweigh the cons and I also believe that your stories would be a huge treasure to the growing lgbtqia+ market. Seriously there needs to be more!
Anon I just literally do not believe an agent would want to represent me. I have 0% belief in that. Not from a self-deprecating angle but from a 'I am not a good bet for the trad market' perspective. From a 'I have so many friends who are trad pubbed authors who stare at me like I'm insane for writing serials as long as I do' perspective. From a 'professionals in the industry have told me it's amazing I'm doing so well in serials because there's no way they'd take a risk on what I'm doing' perspective. From a 'just because it's queer and diverse doesn't mean it hits literally any other thing a trad pub is looking for' perspective. I've been doing this for 10 years. There are agents who represent work similar to mine who know what I'm doing and wouldn't touch me with a ten foot pole. They're not missing out on a trick, they know I'm not broad appeal, and they're right.
Also the only way I'd have the energy to manage trad pub is by quitting serials. And honestly, I never found trad pub all that much fun while I was doing it for non-novel stuff. It was fine, and it is nice to have my stuff out there, but it was a ton of admin and a lot of going back and forth between people who really only care about marketing a product, and that's great and what they excel at! But I'm too disabled to turn this job into something crushing just to potentially make more money, I'd rather just quit and go back onto a full Disability Pension. I can't see any way I still get to write the stories I want to write, in the way that I write them, and be remotely appealing to a single reputable trad pub or agent.
Also *gestures to everything in this article*
#asks and answers#pia on writing#pia on publishing#i appreciate your thoughts anon#and i'm so happy it's working out well for you#and that you're able to live off what you're doing#you are one of the rare outliers in the world of publishing#and i truly wish you all the success in the world#i do think a lot of your advice will go to help a lot of writers who sometimes check in#at my tumblr#but yeah no i don't even write that much 'dark' stuff in the classic sense#of what trad pub wants#right now the publishing world that i'm adjacent to#seems to view me as some kind of oddity#'i don't know how he's making an income off all this stuff that we know would never work for us'#'how odd and strange'#'best leave him alone'#most authors are thankfully not doing what i'm doing#in which case yes they should absolutely consider agent representation#and looking into trad pub#unfortunately i'm not like a CS Pacat#even though she's a role model for me#and when i tried to write for the more traditional market#which was perth shifters#i honestly really struggled
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I needed an excuse to motivate me intro drawing something different from my usual to get my art engine restarted, so I drew some spooky buns for a Redbubble contest. A pair of skvaders!
They're listed (here) 🐇
#I really love how these turned out because I was using a new brush for 99% of it with no pressure opacity so it's all BOLD and CRISPY#every brush I use outside of specific use cases has pressure opacity#olessan art#cryptids#bunnies#rabbits#bunblr#jackalope#skvader#wolpertinger#I'm just tagging the Rabbit Cryptid Trio™#halloween#artists on tumblr#cryptid#halloween art#I don't go here with halloween stuff but I appreciate the aesthetic and the contest theme is 'end of year holidays' which I guess is#halloween and all that christmas adjacent stuff#I might do another more christmassy one just to see if I can keep the momentum
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okay okay okay but I headcanon (firmly believe actually but whatever) that cass considers herself to be dick/jason/tim/damian's brother.
because. okay. gender and language are extremely interconnected. and without gendered language, it's difficult to explain gender and why you would use one term over another. and cass doesn't really have a language with which to understand gender. and when you're learning words, especially if you're starting from scratch, it's way more important to understand that different words mean different things. "brother" and "sister" are different words. even "brother" and "sibling" are different words. and you and I, who have been using language for a while, can argue all day about the denotations and connotations of the words, but to cass, who didn't have language for a good chunk of her early life, those semantics don't matter.
dick is her brother. jason is her brother. tim is her brother. damian is her brother. just like they are all each other's brothers. and calling herself their "sister" instead communicates a different meaning. it sets cass apart from them. she doesn't really know or care about the complicated history of gendered language. the word "brother" and the word "sister" are not the same thing. the other legal(ish) children of bruce's are all brothers. she would consider herself one, too.
#cass cain#batfamily#batfam headcanons#black bat#orphan#batgirl#linguistics???#combining my love of language theory and comics!#no but cass's whole deal is so fascinating to me#and I have some thoughts about it#this is just the most coherent one#and maybe I'm a crazy person in which case please help me out#this seems like an oddly specific post to make#but I'm having fun#anyway#I'm really sorry if this makes no sense but I appreciate you bearing with me#kili is rambling again
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was talking to my friends about this but i love how you have two kinds of gender neutral chinese pronouns in fandom (since chinese doesn't have gender neutral third person pronouns): the chinese limbus company fandom referring to dante as 祂 (a third person pronoun specifically for gods and deities) and medicine pocket reverse 1999 canonically using 它 (it)
#asto speaks#two kinds of (genderless) people#fwiw i personally really appreciate bluepoch using 它 for medpoc bc i feel like there's a tendency in chinese to use 他/he#as a sort of gender neutral pronoun so i was really worried that's what they'd go for with medpoc#like the fact that they used it instead just reads as like. bluepoch fully committing to the genderless characterisation. which is very cool#limbus on the other hand to my knowledge doesn't have an official chinese version so dante using 祂 seems to entire be a fanon thing#which tbf i think is the case for dante using they them in english too#the closest english equivalent to 祂 would probably be like the capital H He they use for jesus in the bible#which is what the arknights localisation people did for ishar'mla which im still a little mad about#yknow how they use He for ishar'mla in the is3 endings yeah it wasn't gendered in the original chinese. now you know#the inspiration for this thought was a parenthetical aside in a completely unrelated lcb post i saw on lofter yesterday that was like#性别为钟的祂应该上哪个厕所 (given that dante's gender is clock what bathroom do they use)#fhdhhfhsgdhd
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honestly it's been really healing being back to actively contributing things and writing out thoughts on tumblr the last week or so, because while twitter tends to be easier for me to write out Thoughts on without getting overwhelmed, the environment in the twitter fandom circles i'm interested in is not only infested with antis but cliqueish in a way that is caustic to the fucking soul if you try to express a thought that's more than three sentences long--a hundred times over if you're autistic in slightly the wrong way--and it's incredibly reassuring to come back to an environment where the very kindest and most inclusive people toward you are not clearly thinking the r-slur the entire time they interact with you lmao
#whosebaby talks#took an incident of just open petty cruelty the other day for me to finally go#you know what all of this is doing a huge number on my self-esteem and scrupulosity and social anxiety and mental health overall#sometimes it pays to hold out and give the benefit of the doubt#when your knee-jerk reaction is to think something Must Be a Sign of Shitty Intent; bc often it will turn out that wasn't the case at all#but unfortunately sometimes it turns out people are in fact just being shitty in exactly the way you thought they were#and at the *very* best you are incompatible in such a way that if they don't have bad intentions you're just never going to be able to tell#or well. not even necessarily bad *intentions*; just shitty behavior that's harmful to you regardless of whether they mean well#sometimes you just gotta accept that even if neither of you *is* being shitty it's not worth your peace of mind to never be able to confirm#and it's better to just save both of you the stress and not try to pursue that.#it fuckin sucks when it's people you think are cool and really want to get to know; it's a hard lesson to learn; but it's the way sometimes#......and then sometimes the confirmation you finally get is that yeah okay this is some bullshit#and not in a way that can likely be communicated past; no matter how much effort you make to be kind; clear; and mature#and being publicly humiliated for carefully trying to yes-and some clarification on meta of mine#which was being used in ways i was deeply uncomfortable with; and had had no warning would take the turn that it did#and which was contributing to the original post gaining traction in the first place#all targeted in ways pretty much tailor-made to hurt someone with specific issues they had seen me talk about + acknowledged#was just. yeah i think i'm done here lmao#i am Not someone who takes down meta once posted#so the fact that it was bad enough to make me delete an entire thread really says something lol#anyway. lots of other context there; and i appreciate that in some ways the person was genuinely trying to be kind; but i'm. yeah.#that shit Hurted Extremely; and made me realize that while i'm not the *most* well-socialized or articulate or approachable#there is just something in the water over there and no amount of The Problem Not Being Me would have mattered#and the nice asks/replies/comments i've gotten both recently and during hibernation make me feel warm inside; thank y'all <3#the salt files#bullying cw#ableism cw
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Can we send requests of our own plushies for you to rate? :)
Thanks so much for asking first of all. I’ve been thinking about this a whole lot (even before I drew the first plushie here) and I think I’ve finally decided that at least for now, I won’t be taking submissions for plushie ratings. Without getting too serious, the main reason is that I’m afraid that it will stop feeling as fun as it does now. I also really enjoy how happy people seem to be when they see a surprise rating that they weren’t expecting, which would happen much less often if I was spending time drawing submissions, too. I really hope that everyone understands
#I love seeing all your plushies regardless and you’re always free to show me them through asks or dms#I wasn’t able to draw for a few years without it feeling very stressful and I think the anxiety of drawing for others made it much worse#im sort of taking baby steps while I get used to drawing again and this blog has been a huge help#everyone ive interacted with so far has been very kind and I have almost 100 followers already! which is super cool#if you’ve already submitted a plushie or were planning to im very sorry. I hope you understand#I really love drawing and am so happy that it feels fun again after so long#I’ll hold onto my current few submissions in case this ever changes someday#sorry for getting all serious gvutfd5fuq#I love you guys a ton! thank you for all the follows and reblogs and kind words#i see all of them even in tags and appreciate all of you so very much#not plushie#mouse answers#mouse speaks#mouse rambles
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hi
#hi#i am just popping on here for a second bc i’m not in the mood to be back yet but my queue is getting quite full#so i think i might have to unpause it soon#maybe tomorrow idk yet#just a heads up in case i seem active again i’m not really i just had a lot of stuff piling up 😭#it will be a Huge shuffled mess so patience is appreciated!!#i apologize if you’re waiting on me but thank you for waiting regardless#please keep using my tracked tag for your creations#i will be back for real eventually#my mental health is quite terrible lately i still need time#it’s about to be a year since the last time i saw my sister before she passed so like. my grief is going through a crazy stage#i’m still not getting a ton of sleep#my brain is just Bad things all day#it’s all just really sucky but i’m trying to do my best 🙃#i hope you are all well i miss you#i will respond to messages at some point too#there are very few which..well it puts things into perspective and validates certain feelings ig lol#it’s all good that’s something i’m working on internally#hopefully i get there#bye again for now 💕
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i’m sorry to bring this up again, but i wanted to ask how are you making sense of harry having his former girlfriend’s name tattooed on his thigh if you don’t think they were really together? i’m not a larrie and i follow you for your louis content, but i respect your opinions, so i guess i’m coming more from a place of curiosity rather than seeking reassurance. do you not even entertain for one second the idea that you might’ve been wrong about things? that harry was really in a relationship with olivia? that he might actually be attracted to women? that he might’ve been with louis once upon a time but not anymore? have you ever challenged your confirmation bias? again, i’m not trying to attack you, i really just want to understand where you stand. i hope u don’t take this the wrong way.
well first of all you bring up the very good point that there are actually multiple Qs at play and not just one, despite the fandom's (and my) attempts to simplify things. I personally am open to the possibility that Harry and Louis are no longer together- we don't have enough info to say for sure either way about that, and I am constantly recalibrating and considering and I'm going to be totally honest, getting flat out ANNOYED at how often I find myself being like oh damn they ARE still (or again) together ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? Because it seems so improbable and illogical! You think I don't KNOW I sound fucking crazy?! Absolutely infuriating, and yet there are just all these little Things all the time. Plus ofc the fact that they both constantly wink wink larrie stuff to the fandom which could just be playing to the crowd... except then they both continually take it that little extra way that makes me go oh but... you really didn't NEED to go THERE that seems VERY pointed?? But also sometimes I go well. Okay, maybe not. Since they both seem super happy at this point, it doesn't stress me out to think they might have split, the way it would if they seemed miserable and were still churning out heartbreak songs, but it's schrodingers relationship and with all the savvy they've acquired around this stuff and all the balls they're keeping in the air wrt to fandom etc that's unlikely to change in favor of us knowing anything for sure for a very long time, if ever. But I do not doubt that they WERE together, it's simply not realistic. The evidence of it is overwhelming and imo undeniable when taken all together. And the thing is that knowing one thing with certainty (that they were together back when), having really looked at the things that happened during that time, does actually have a lot of bearing on the rest of it even if they aren't together anymore. Because knowing that and having seen the way fake relationships to make them seem straight were managed back then means that when I see the EXACT SAME things being done in the current day, like they are working from a fucking blueprint, no, I don't look at that and think it might be real. I know that Louis and Eleanor wasn't real in... whenever they allegedly got together lol, that story still isn't even quite straight, so why would I believe they were together in 2020? And if I know Louis has a tattoo for a fake girlfriend why would it change my mind about a million things I can see with my own eyes if Harry did the same (if indeed he even has who tf knows)? So despite what I said at the beginning, in the end it kind of does just come down to the one question people are always asking, are you a larrie? Because when you've actually been down the rabbit hole of details that ends up with you saying yes to that question, it's like acquiring a rosetta stone that unlocks the ability to read everything else, like putting on xray glasses, and I look at what is so obviously a publicity relationship (holivia) and whether H and L are still together has nothing to do with why I don't think it's real. Like could a celeb relationship be both used in typical ways for publicity and be or become real on some level (looking at you Liam, heyyy), sure, but for this question the fact that I have never seen Harry show the slightest sign of attraction to a woman in his whole life and he so clearly embraces and identifies so strongly with gay male culture in every possible way and never shuts up about how much he loves cock does play into my thinking; I simply do not think he is attracted to women, no, and I have yet to see him do anything that doesn't seem consistent with things a closeted pop star might chose to do. So in conclusion yes I have challenged my bias and decided I'm right lol! But for real- all the time I consider that they perhaps aren't together but that isn't really the point when it comes to believing they are gay.
#I feel like the follow up anons to this will logically be SO WHY NOT BRAD so lemme just jump on that cause I don't really want to#have a whole thing about that#honestly for me it's WHY BRAD. It makes perfect sense for him to be with harry all the time (and therefore for them to borrow each others#jumpers yes) so why would I think they were dating any more than I think H is dating his security guard or luis. the fandom just latches#onto the idea that people around them who they think would look hot with are a thing but other than that literally NOTHING about this guy's#association with H is actually different than many other employee/pals imo and I see literally nothing that suggests anything going on ther#so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#I mean I DO think Harry has weirdly fluid boundaries around considering his employees friends in a way that seems like he doesn't#really GET the power differential possibly (because how could he he's been on that side of it his whole adult life) but I'm not there#behind the scenes with them; hopefully that's not the case#but that's a separate issue#blah blah blah#long post#I TRIED to keep it short and tidy but NO people gonna ask the long form questions#which btw I appreciate I do enjoy a good thoughtful anon thx
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