#one way in which i probably differ from ford is that i could not care less about winning any arguments all i care about is being accurate

[godsfavoritescientist]

well hold on, if we define a character flaw as any limitation a character deals with, regardless of whether it's something Morally Wrong With Them or not, then Ford's paranoia counts as a character flaw since it does in fact negatively impact him and the people around him. Let me use better wording here: I will die on the hill that Ford's paranoia is not a moral failing.

[babycharmander]

(BOOK OF BILL SPOILERS)

I just finished reading The Book of Bill and I am kindof losing my mind over some of this stuff.

I had wondered if Alex Hirsch might make Bill sympathetic in some way and oh boy I was not expecting him to do it so successfully (and without cheapening Bill's character).

So, we learn that Bill was born into a 2D world... as a mutant who can see into the third dimension. He claims he was absolutely loved by all, but when talking about his powers, he mentions under Pyrokinesis:

"Cipher, Cipher, he's insane / Starting fires with his brain." The kids in grade school could be so cruel. But where are they now, huh? WHERE ARE THEY NOW?

So probably not quite as liked as he was letting on. To add to that, there's the silly straw page, which looks like silly nonsense until you decipher some of the codes:

"EYE DOCTOR OF A DIFFERENT KIND / WHO WANTS TO MAKE HIS PATIENTS BLIND" "THE DOCTOR SAYS / THREE SIPS A DAY / WILL MAKE THE VISIONS / GO AWAY"

I wasn't sure what this meant until I saw someone point out... he was seeing a third dimension that no one else could see. His parents probably took him to the eye doctor to try to "fix" him. Which, speaking of his eye doctor, the coded message in the section about human eyeballs says something interesting:

"MY OPTOMETRIST NEVER SAW IT COMING"

It could be a joke given beforehand he's talking about dissecting a human eye, but given the previous hints of medical abuse, I wouldn't put it past him that he tried to get revenge on his eye doctor.

Oh yeah and the whole thing about him setting his entire dimension on fire? Yeah it turns out it was entirely a mistake (he just wanted everyone to understand the third dimension he was seeing so they could be free of only two dimensions), he was so traumatized by it he blacks out when trying to recall it. He deeply, deeply regrets it, and...

"What? Your ENTIRE home dimension? destroyed? How? By what?" Bill looked distant, more distant than I'd ever seen him. "By a monster."

He sees himself as a monster.

And yet, he's not some innocent, misunderstood being. He still revels in causing pain and chaos. He's terrible in general, but becomes incredibly abusive toward Ford.

"YOU'RE MY PROPERTY. DON'T FORGET IT. The hillbilly abandoned you, your father won't want you returning without millions, you have no friends, and if you died out here in the snow, who would even miss you?"

Which... speaking of him and Ford...

Yes, yes, I know people ship them. But like, whether you see their relationship as romantic or platonic (I see it as the latter), there's some interesting parallels to be made here.

Both Bill and Ford are mutants who were mocked for their being different. (Bill was not physically a mutant, as far as we know, but more in the sense of him having vision stronger than that of everyone else in his dimension, and also having special powers. And he does describe himself as a mutant.) Both became social outcasts, separated from their families but still haunted by them (Ford seeing commercials of Stan on TV and running across old photos of him and his brother, Bill being haunted by his family in some form). Neither could return home for one reason or another. Both more powerful than their peers (Ford intellectually, Bill in terms of actual powers). Both of them isolated and alone. (Yes, Bill does have the Henchmaniacs, but they seem like shallow friends, and only really seem to follow him out of a desire to have a place to party.)

Ford was not aware of most of this, aside from knowing that Bill could not go home because his dimension was destroyed. But Bill absolutely saw himself in Ford. There was no other person he tried to use whom he felt a stronger connection to.

And he actually seems to care about Ford--he actually gave him a birthday present, and when Ford didn't like it, he decided to get drunk and party with him instead to make up for it.

And then when Ford realizes what Bill's plan actually is and refuses to go along with it, and fights back no matter what Bill does, Bill completely breaks down.

After living for trillions of years, he met someone who was like him, and that person rejected him.

He goes berserk, wreaking havoc, being caught by the dimensional authority that he's been taunting for most of his life.

And then after dying and being cast out of hell for being too annoying, he winds up faced with the Axolotl, who sends him to therapy, where he continues to break down further, sending out the book in a desperate attempt to find someone, anyone who will help him break loose and wreak havoc once again.

"You have no friends, and if you died ... who would even miss you?"

I don't know, Bill. Who would even miss you?

In short,

[ID: The front and back of one of Bill's Valentines cards. On the front is a black void with Bill Cipher lying down without his hat, gazing blankly upwards, with the text "I DON'T WANT TO DIE ALONE" above him. On the back is a simple white "TO/FROM" in red, with a red outline illustration of Bill spontaneously growing a mouth and eating a realistic, bloody heart. /end ID]

[ceaselesswatchersspecialboy]

Offering an NPD perspective on Ford Pines, because I feel the most common discussions surrounding his narcissistic traits tends to go in two ways — from what I’ve personally seen — and that’s defending him, and denying the mere possibility he may have NPD because it’s seen as a negative, or using NPD as a way to villainise him, and thus demonise NPD. Or, the alternative, this part of his character is completely overlooked.

That isn’t to say I haven’t seen some wonderful analyses on Ford and NPD, rather, I find it surprisingly lacking when his character might be some of the best representation of my own experience struggling with narcissism (alongside Bill).

I believe a lot of it stems from the misconception and stigma around NPD, and the fact Ford goes again common, typically incorrect, ideas, such as showing genuine care for other people, and accepting his failures and where he went wrong in the end, trying to repair his relationship with Stan, and realising that he doesn’t need to be recognised worldwide, as he’s found happiness with his family instead. All of these do not correlate with the media idea of a narcissist, but the fact is, narcissists are no different from any other disorder or mental health issue. We come in all different forms, and the idea we are inherently abusive or evil is such a widespread misconception that it becomes difficult getting help or support.

And that’s why I find Ford so important.

This alone, to me, describes in simple words how it feels to deal with NPD, and though you could argue Bill is projecting here, I think the point is they’re so similar, the lines blur. Both struggle with this same mentality, but Ford is able to reach out, and accept help, and Bill lets himself sink deeper and deeper into his own lies. Also, I’d argue it isn’t Bill projecting, because we sees evidence of this behaviour in Ford in the show and the journal.

He’s someone who believes himself destined for greatness, and won’t accept the bare minimum, such as when Fiddleford suggests he publish his research as is — No, he can’t have that. He has to be the one to uncover this grand theory. He has to have his name cemented amongst the greats. He believes himself to be special, different and more capable than other people, and yet he longs for the company of others all the same. He lives off of validation and praise, and strives for it, his own ego clashing against his lack of self-worth. Bill’s manipulations work on him because Ford eats up this sort of validation — it’s like one big high. It’s confirmation he is special. He is meant for greater things. He was right.

Ford notably struggles with empathy, which is likely both related to his autism, and also his narcissism. Other people simply don’t make sense to him. It takes effort for him to be able to understand people where they’re at, and he is willing to put in that effort notably, taking note of Fiddleford’s habits for example.

He also does struggle with manipulation and being deeply self-centred. A great example being Dipper’s apprenticeship. Ford is very subtly manipulating the situation here, and he doesn’t even notice, which is, in my own experience, common with NPD. He’s also unable to see Dipper and Mabel as, well, Dipper and Mabel, rather putting his own issues with Stan onto them, especially Dipper. He sees Dipper as a younger version of himself, and is trying to point him in that direction, never thinking whether it’s actually right for Dipper, or whether it’s for himself.

I could probably go on, like how he tends to have a black and white view of people, with his opinions on them easily flicking between extremes as a method of coping, or how he panics at the idea of his life’s work being destroyed, despite knowing the dangers.

Whether you agree he has NPD or not, Ford definitely has a lot of narcissistic traits, and yet, despite that, despite every mistake he’s made, everyone he’s pushed away, he gets a second chance. He gets to be loved and understood. He finds happiness. He gets to recover.

It’s very rare that characters with so many narcissistic traits get endings like that!

Ford is not a bad person because he’s a narcissist, he’s just a person, one who’s fucked up, and who’s still learning, and still healing, and that’s why he works. That’s why he’s such a comfort.

On a final note, If you are someone who’s going to argue vehemently against this idea, I kindly ask you simply scroll by!

[provide-milk]

Pt 3: Do You Know What You're Doing To Me?: Ford x Reader

⚠️Minors do not interact with! NSFW!⚠️

Read Chapter 2 here! https://www.tumblr.com/provide-milk/764282571298390016/pt-2-do-you-know-what-youre-doing-to-me-ford?source=share

Everytime Ford entered the room and saw you, you received that soft smile that you adored and made you melt every time. 

“Good morning Ford!” 

“Good morning to you too, dear.”

You would have to hold back a grin whenever he called you that. Everyone else seemed to enjoy the tension disappearing and just assumed that you both figured things out in the car (which was true but you’d never tell them all the details). Except Wendy assumed that there was a little bit more to that innocent car ride.

“So… are you guys a thing now or something?” Wendy asked casually, as she swept the floor after noticing you and Ford continuously glancing at one another.

You looked at her confused, as you finally stopped gazing dreamily at Ford.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about…”

Wendy groaned, “Come on! It’s so obvious I’m surprised no one else has noticed.”

“You must just be imagining things because there’s nothing going on between us.” You responded as casually as you possibly could in that moment. 

“Fuck, she figured it out.” You thought to yourself. 

“Hey, I’m not judging you guys. I mean he's pretty old, sure… But once you get over that I guess it kind of makes sense. Well maybe not… I guess what I’m trying to say is that if you guys are happy that’s all that really matters.”

As much as you wanted to indulge in some girl talk and spill the beans about kissing Ford, you remembered how you promised him that you wouldn’t tell anyone.

You took a deep breath, “I appreciate all of that Wendy, but there’s nothing going on between us. We’re just friendly with each other.”

“Whatever ‘friendly’ means, you guys definitely like each other and that’s for sure.”

You scoffed, “I don’t like him like that and I doubt that for him too.”

“Kid!” 

You turned your head to see Stan heading over towards you.

“I don’t know what happened between you guys and I don’t really care to know, but I’m glad to see old sixer back to himself. Seemed like that car ride really did help.”

You chuckled nervously, “Yeah, you can say that again..”

You could see out of the corner of your eye Wendy looking at you suspiciously.

“Seriously though, what did you do? He’s really stubborn. It’d take a lot more than just a car ride for us to make up. I have to keep in mind what you did next time he starts acting all high and mighty.”

You tried to avoid snickering at that last part.

“I don’t know Stan, I guess I just have a way with him.”

“That’s more than I can say..”

It was nice to see Ford back to his old self again, but it was a little different this time. Better this time. Whenever you guys were alone, you two couldn’t help but tease one another. Ford would be in the middle of telling you about some new discovery he made before giving you a compliment. He’d lean in closely towards you, causing you to lose your breath.

“Do you know how bad I want to kiss you right now?” He whispered.

You grinned, “So why don’t you?”

Ford hesitated, “Now’s probably not a good time..”

“Nobody is here, right now.” You said mischievously, slightly tugging on the strap around his torso.

“Still.. We should probably be a bit careful.”

“You’re the one who said you wanted to kiss me.”

“I did say that but-”

“Fine, I’ll do it.” You pulled him closer and gave him a quick peck on the mouth, then another, then anoth-

You were interrupted by some talking outside from tourists. You both quickly backed away from each other, Ford clearly flustered. 

He cleared his throat, adjusting the strap around his torso, “We both better go back to work. But before that… What time are you off again?”

“I get off at 5. Why?”

“I just want to see you.”

“Is that all?” You smirked.

Ford rubbed the back of his neck, “Maybe a little bit more than that.”

God, you couldn’t wait to get off. 

Sighs and moans filled the lab, as you sat on Ford’s lap kissing him back fervently. You were becoming addicted to just the taste of him and how his lips perfectly meshed with yours. As you moaned into his mouth, Ford took this as an opportunity to shove his tongue in causing yet another delicious sound to come from you. You tried to keep up with him, but it was almost difficult at times because he kissed you like he had been starving for you.

Your fingers entangled in his hair while his hands grabbed at your waist like he was trying to force you to be closer to him than you already were. You grinded against his already hardening erection, receiving a groan from him that you cherished each time. 

This was beginning to become the norm for the two of you. Almost everyday after work or sometimes even on breaks, Ford would call you down to the lab to help him with an ‘experiment.’ Each time he kissed you it felt like the first time and each session felt almost better than the last (which might be because of Ford’s kissing skills growing at a fast rate). You felt like two horny teenagers, hiding away from your parents. But as good as it felt, you wanted more. You pulled back from the kiss. As you caught your breath Ford looked at you quizzically. 

“Did I-” His chest heaved up and down, breathing heavily. “-do something wrong?”

“No.. Nothing wrong…”

He raised an eyebrow at you before trying to go back to kissing you, but pushed yourself farther back. 

“Everything ok?” He asked, confused. 

“Yeah… It’s just that.. I want more.”

Ford paused, “Oh. What do you mean by… more?”

“I mean like sucking your dick.” You said bluntly.

Ford’s eyes went wide, “I see…”

“Do you not want to?”

“That’s not the case…”

“Then can I?” 

Ford hesitated, “It’s just that once we go that far we can’t go back. Kissing is one thing but this is…”

“Ford… I can feel your dick poking me right now. I don’t think it’s too crazy of an idea at this point.” You rubbed yourself against him, causing him to grunt.

He seemed to be deep in thought, you hated it, you wish he just went for what he wanted instead of thinking so logically about everything

“No.” Ford finally responded, sternly.

“Ugh! You’re no fun…”

Ford just chuckled at your reaction. Fine, he wanted to be cruel, so were you then.

“But Ford…” You purred, grabbing one of his hands. “But if we keep kissing like this… I don’t know how I’m going to be able to control myself…”

Ford was silent, watching how you brought his hand up to your mouth, kissing each of the tips of his fingers. He froze. You gave soft licks to the top of his sixth finger, before placing it in your mouth and sucking. You could feel his erection hardening underneath you, poking you between your clothed folds. His eyes were filled with lust, as he couldn’t tear his eyes away from you. You moaned against his fingers, making eye contact with him and that was the last straw. He swore he could’ve came right there on the spot. He pulled his hand away from you.

“Do it.”

You grinned before getting off his lap. You tied your hair up with a hairband, eyeing him as  you dropped to your knees in front of him. Ford’s hand went towards his zipper and you swatted it away. His brows furrowed in confusion.

“Let me.”

You parted his legs open to make some room for yourself between them and started to unbuckle his belt. Once you were done with that, you lowered your head to his crotch, teasing the zipper between your teeth as you made eye contact with him before pulling it down with your mouth. You could see Ford’s bulge grow just by the sight of you, as he gripped the armrests of his chair. It felt like your heart was about to jump out of your chest in anticipation for what was next. You wanted this. Badly. Your fingers went under the waistband of his underwear.

“Are you sure you want this?” 

“Yes… I… I want it.” Ford responded breathily, shutting his eyes as you revealed his hardened cock.

Heat pooled between your legs just at the sight. You were surprised by the size of him, you knew he’d be on the bigger side but being face to face with his dick was another story. It wasn’t so much his length that was surprising, but the girth of him that had your mouth watering as you watched the precum fall from his tip. Ford was beginning to shuffle in his seat which took you out of your daze. You pressed your lips against the tip before swirling your tongue against the opening, finally tasting him which you thought you’d only be able to dream about. When you licked the underside of his cock, you heard a soft whine come from Ford. You immediately looked up at him to see his face reddening.

Ford cleared his throat, his eyes not meeting yours, “Just ignore that.”

“Why? I want to hear all the sounds you make. It’s cute.” You responded before finally taking the full head of his cock in your mouth. 

His leg twitched, as he took a deep sigh, trying to contain himself. His cock became fully erect in your mouth and you took this as an opportunity to begin to bob your head, tracing the veins with your tongue. There was no turning back, you felt like you could get addicted to this, watching Ford through lidded eyes slowly lose his composure. The man who came across as fully put together and slightly egotistical was slowly unravelling before you. 

You breathed through your nose as you decided to take the challenge to fully take him in your mouth. It was difficult due to the girth of him, but you hollowed your cheeks, feeling him hit the back of your throat. Ford almost broke the armrests of the chair as he felt the vibrations of your moans against his dick.

“Fuck- If you keep doing that I’m not gonna last too-” His words were cut off by a loud groan as you sucked him, the lewd noises filling the air. “Shit!” He gasped. 

You’d never heard Ford curse before. His words and the erotic sounds he made caused you to shuffle your thighs together for relief. You could feel yourself getting wetter and almost felt like you could cum just by that. You knew he was getting close to releasing, but before he could do that you released him with a pop. He thought you were going to finish him off with your hands, but instead you went back to teasing his tip with your tongue.

“Sweetheart, I’m gonna need you to- Fuck- Can you open your mouth?” His voice was shaking.

You obliged and before you could process anything his hand was in your hair, forcing you to take him all the way again with your mouth. You groaned against him, slightly gagging which only added to his pleasure. He began to bob your head up and down his cock, fucking your face. His sudden control of the situation turned you on to an extent that surprised yourself. You looked up at him, making eye contact with him, He seemed to be fully out of it, his usual uptight self gone.

With one last moan from you, he completely let go. He threw his head back with a loud groan, his hands still on your head, forcing you to take him from the base of his dick. You tasted the salty cum on your tongue. You choked as he continued to pump cum down your throat (seriously, when was the last time he ejaculated?). He let go of your hair and you released him.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what got into me.” he said through heavy breaths. “You don’t have to-”

Before he could finish his sentence he watched you swallow with a shocked expression on his face. 

“Or you can I guess…”

You both tried to catch your breaths before you stood up and wrapped arms around Ford.

“See? Wasn’t that worth it?” You said as you gave him a kiss on the cheek.

Ford was stiff and was still trying to process everything.

“You ok?”

“Yeah… Can I be honest about something?”

“Of course.” You responded, still giving him pecks on the cheek.

“I’ve… never done anything like that before…”

You leaned back with your jaw dropped, “You’ve… never had a blowjob? But I thought… You dated a siren, right?”

Ford rubbed the nape of his neck, “Well… it never got that far.. It was only about a month or two..”

“Oh my God. So you’re a…?”

Ford sighed, “Virgin. Yes.”

You chuckled, “No wonder all you want to do is kiss me.”

“Hey, it’s not like you don’t want to either…”

You tell Ford was slightly uncomfortable by the conversation. You just hugged him tighter and he patted your back awkwardly.

“I’m honored to be your first blowjob.” You smiled and Ford snorted in response.

“I don’t know how much of an honor that is.”

“It is! Was it good?”

“It was… amazing.” Ford stared dreamily at the ceiling and you laughed heartily. “Are you sure you don’t need any help… getting off?”

You were taken aback by his offer.

“Thank you Ford. But I don’t want to overwhelm you too much. I think I’ll be dealing with it on my own tonight.” You winked at Ford causing him to grin in response.

“That’s very kind of you to-”

Before he could finish his sentence, there was the sound of the door opening. You immediately let go of Ford and he turned his chair in the opposite direction to tuck his dick back into his pants.

“Grunkle Ford..” Dipper called out before catching you with his eyes. “Oh you’re here…”

You gave him an awkward smile. “Glad to see you too Dipper.”

He ignored you, “Grunkle Ford, you said we were gonna play Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons today.”

“Wait a minute, Dipper. I’ll be up there as soon as possible.”

You and Ford glanced at each other. You saw that he still needed time to regain his composure.

Dipper walked out of the lab disappointedly.

“What’s the matter kid?” Stan asked Dipper before Mabel chimed in as well.

“Ford has been hanging out a lot with y/n lately… We’ve hardly been able to talk now.”

“Maybe…” Mabel’s eyes lit up. “Maybe they’re dating!”

“Don’t start with that sweetie. Sixer’s way too old for her. I don’t even wanna think about that.”

“Yeah Mabel, that’s weird.”

“Is it really though? I bet they like each other. I’ll put money on it.”

“Oooh a little bit of gambling. I’ll join.” Stan responded.

“Yeah you’re on.”

They all gave each other handshakes. Mabel though was determined to win no matter what. 

[ckret2]

You know, after seeing your evil Ford au, I wonder what would happen if evil! Ford, met cannon! Ford. I feel like Cannon! Ford would hate him because he's just an example of what would happen if he haven't learned his lesson on perfection and how it's impossible to reach and how he doesn't need to impress people to be happy. I wonder what evil! Ford would think of his original counter part..would he be a little regretful? Since his cannon counterpart got more happiness than him? It's honestly intriguing to think about.

That's actually part of why I made Evil Ford: I was thinking about a dimension of lost Fords (like the dimension of lost Mabels in Don't Dimension It) and asked myself, which Ford alternate would Canon Ford most hate to meet?

So yeah you're right, Canon Ford would HATE Evil Ford—but not for thematic "you haven't learned the moral lesson about perfection & family" reasons. That's how audiences think about characters, it's not how people think about other people. When's the last time you hated somebody in real life because they missed the point of their own narrative arc—rather than because, say, they're rude to cashiers?

No, the reason Canon Ford hates Evil Ford is much simpler.

Similarly, meeting Canon Ford wouldn't make Evil Ford feel regretful because Evil Ford still thinks he made the right decision. What does he care if Canon Ford is "happier" if he only found contentment by—what—giving up on his high ambitions and settling for being a washed-up burnt-out ex-academic with no memorable achievements to his name? Evil Ford would rather die as a miserable overachiever than live as a peaceful slacker.

And he didn't spend thirty years on a completely different life path from Canon Ford without developing a totally different perspective.

Note: when Canon Ford found out Bill lied about the portal and declared he'd stop Bill no matter what, Evil Ford thinks that's Ford betraying Bill, not the other way around.

Also note: Evil Ford thinks Canon Ford is only motivated by anger over being deceived—not concern for the safety of the whole planet. Like yeah sure, he's HEARD that excuse; but that's what he thinks it is: an excuse. If he'd decided not to forgive Bill, he probably would've used the same excuse himself. A convenient, heroic-sounding moral justification for a thirty year vengence quest—but he doesn't really care that much about who's running the Earth, why would his alternate self?

(And really, Canon Ford? Thirty years? Thirty years?? You never found anything more productive to do with all that time than stalk your former mentor because you're MAD about ONE LIE?? If Canon Ford had said he thought killing Bill would net him more interdimensional fame and praise than he'd ever have as his underling, then Evil Ford could understand THAT—he himself has had misgivings about the fact that he's signed up to spend all eternity playing second banana—but as it is, though...)

Also also note: Evil Ford never reconciled with Fiddleford because he never acknowledged Fidds was "right" about Bill. He spent two-thirds of his life estranged from his brother. He moved across the country from his family. He made no friends in Gravity Falls, and likely no other college friends than Fidds. But he spent over half his life working with, dreaming with, living with Bill Cipher.

Evil Ford is evil; but he's not heartless.

Bill's the muse that gave him the blueprints he needed for his greatest invention and for the culmination of his life's work as a scientist and explorer. Bill's a near-god who hailed Ford as the greatest genius of his century, the man who's going to change the world, and via divine weirdness intervention he personally made sure that prophecy come true. Bill's the guy who—after Ford's embarrassing failure of a portal accident—welcomed Ford into his gang with open arms and the assurance that all his hard work wouldn't be for naught. He's Ford's longest-lasting friendship, his partner in crime and in science and in just about everything else by now, the person he trusts to puppet his body.

Is that a very skewed perspective on Bill? God, yeah. But it's Evil Ford's perspective.

If someone told you that all your suffering is due to the one person you trust most in all the world and the one person outside your family you care about the most—someone you've known for over thirty years—and your life would be so much better if you'd ditched this person the very first time you didn't get along—and that ditching them would have been the moral action—and that, in fact, you should have dedicated your life to killing this person...

Would you regret your life? Would you envy the life of the man who told you all this?

Or would you despise him?

How much more would you despise him if you knew he was you—had lived the same life as you—and that he had killed the most important person in your world?

Oh, Evil Ford resents the hell out of Canon Ford. Who are you—you slacker, you betrayer—to say you're "happier" than your counterpart? How do you deserve that "happy" ending? How is that fair?

Evil Ford only has one regret: not locking up his entire family before Weirdmageddon, where they'd all be safe... and where Bill would be safe from them.

[valhalla-calls]

Relativity Falls headcanons- My Version Pt.3

Making a part three because apparently, I wasn't done.

My Au isn't exactly one for one in terms who replaces who and what events happen. However, there are close to it.

Kind of off track, but Canon! Stan would cry if he saw any Relativity Falls AUs. The thought that any of the Pine twins going through at least half of what he did while he was homeless would destroy him. Doesn't matter if it's Dipper or Mabel, it would destroy him.

Back on track, I can see Mabel's scams sometimes consisted of match making and fake love potions. She got a lot of angry customers when the match wasn't good or the love potion surprisingly didn't work. It caused a few injuries along the way. A few times, she was stabbed and didn't have money to go to the doctor to get it stitched up. Good thing she knows how to sew thanks to her making sweaters.

After a particularly bad run in with some people she owed money to, Mabel had to rewrite a letter to Dipper, because blood smudges kept appearing on the letter. Eventually, after the hundredth time, she just covered those spots with glue and glitter. No, Dipper doesn't know that bit until probably much later.

Mabel does have the scar on the back of her shoulder like Stan did! How it happened was a little different, she had a stab wound she stitched up on her upper arm when Dipper sent a post card for her to come. In the middle of their "Concerned for each other" scuffle, he grabbed it by accident, Dipper let go when she screamed, which caused her to fall onto sigil.

Dipper's had his fair share of hurt here too. He had the whole bleeding eye issue that Ford did in canon. I imagine if he was possessed by the Axolotl, it would take a toll on his body too. A big entity like that, I don't think a human body could handle well. Then, there's the whole doing things to Dipper while being possessed thing. He has a few scars from those moments too.

Speaking of Axolotl, I feel like it would take Dipper a while to warm up to being friendly. Not that he wouldn't be fascinated and tricked at all. Because, we saw what happened with Bill doing the Sock Opera episode, he would. However, I think at first, he'd proceed with caution. He was only started to be mystified by the Axolotl when the Axolotl began to feed into his loneliness.

I'm cool with either Candy or Pacifica taking Fiddleford's place. It makes sense for either. If it's Pacifica, she could fund it and if's Candy, she could build it.

Mabel kept making the fake love potions to sell in the Mystery Shack. One of them fell on Stanley and it caused him to have a misunderstood panic attack when he saw Fiddleford and nothing happened. Not because he was worried he didn't like Fiddleford. No. He was told at one point, probably by his mom, that if a love potion didn't have any effect after seeing another person, it meant he was already in love with the person. After, what Stan thought were failed attempts to woo Fiddleford (Because, you know, he honestly believed the potion worked so, got commit to the bit.), Mabel cleared up the misunderstanding. Which she found hilarious.

Since Bill is in Pacifica's place, Stan, not only has a rivalry with Gideon, but he has a rivalry with Bill.

I can see Dipper and Mabel picking on the fact that Stanley is being abused by Filbrick at home. There are many routes like when it comes to this AU that people take with that issue. My favorites though are where they find out and don't let the boys go home at all and teach Stanley that Filbrick doesn't love him. Also, Ford finally understanding some things and is completely on board. They would not care who Filbrick is to them. They would risk it.

[the-siren-in-your-fridge]

So I love gravity falls, don’t get me wrong, but now that I’m an adult and a writer myself, I feel like one of the few things it fumbled was the Ford reveal. Anyone who theorized that Stan had a twin would have been written off for reaching, the “Gideon is a vampire” theory had more substantial evidence (I’m joking but also kinda not). The foreshadowing to the Ford reveal are things like “Stan finds an extra pair of glasses in the spare room” and “Stan’s license plate is ‘Stanley mobile’” which is kinda weak for such a clever show? They make no sense until you rewatch them, I feel like stuff like that reveal had to be something you could guess without sounding insane. No one pre-Ford reveal would have EVER guessed that Stan had a twin which made it feel a little bit like a cop out to me unless you REALLY reached for it.

Don't get me wrong, l like it, but for a show with so many details hidden in the background, it's a surprise that they didn't allude to it any better than that. No photos in the background with Stan and Ford as kids where the Stan half of the photo is covered so all you see is Ford, who looks wayyy nerdier than Stan would look as a kid, but there's no way it's not him, it looks exactly like him, just nerdier. Plus, isn't that weird, it looks like he has six fingers? Maybe it was an animation error. Besides, current Stan doesn’t have six fingers or a scar from a finger getting taken off. Maybe you get one scene where Mabel finds it and goes “HAHAH Grunkle Stan, look at you, you looked like such a dweeb!” And Stan snatches it out of her hand and grumbles something like “I’m the only one who calls Stanford Pines a dweeb.” Dipper gets confused and goes “you know it’s really weird that he was a nerdy kid, I wouldn’t have guessed that” and Mabel’s like “well he was really smart in college, right? People change.” Now the question is “what changed? Why isn’t he like that? It seems so opposite of how he is now.” It makes being hit with “he’s been masquerading as his twin brother” make a little more sense.

And never ONCE did Dipper say "my parents told me you're a well accomplished genius who had a lot of scientific potential and you CANT see how weird this town is?" only for Stan to get all withdrawn and go "that was a long time ago, it was a different life, things are different now.” Dipper, being a nerd, would definitely be intrigued by Stan's past as "an up and coming genius who suddenly went quiet for a while & now runs a bogus tourist trap" SOMEONE WOULD HAVE POINTED THAT OUT. DIPPER WOULD HAVE INVESTIGATED (Mabel probably wouldn't care because "come on dude, people change, and isn't he cool now?" but Dipper would care). And their parents never pointed out how weird it is that Stanford went from this genius his parents were so proud of to this weird reclusive conman?? That's WEIRD, right??? Isn't conman stuff STANLEY-level nonsense??? Maybe they didn’t know much about him since he’s their reclusive uncle or whatever, but surely they’d know the bare minimum about him. “Yeah he was a real genius back in his day, went out to study something, I don’t remember what, and he’s still out there” which would mean Dipper and Mabel finding this old conman who couldn’t even tell you the Pythagorean theorem is Weird For Sure

I just feel like they could have done wayyyy better in the build up. It wouldn’t have taken much time to establish something more substantial than “Stan freaks out when he sees Mabel’s wax figurine” (which I always brushed off as “wax figurines are scary and he’s a weird looking old man”)

[purplekissinger]

The Cat That Looked at a King

The first magical war. Animagus Y/N spies on the Dark Lord. When she is caught, Voldemort decides against killing her.

Lord, what you're doing to me?

tw: psychological manipulation, crucio x 999, hurthurthurt/questionable comfort

‘Lumos’.

The weak light made you close your eyes, as if it was a spotlight. You tried to get up, but your aching head was pulled down, back to sweet unconsciousness. Dolohov looked at you with disgust, and for a moment it seemed to you as if he would slam the door and leave you in the blissful darkness, but this hope has fast  evaporated. He stepped forwards and forced you to your feet.

‘Did you sleep well?’, he said. Every sound caused a painful shiver through your body. ‘You made Mulciber work pretty hard yesterday. I believe your memory has returned, eh?’.

You were silent. You were still getting used to the idea that your life was over, and that the remaining days or even hours of it would be spent in a nice company of Death Eaters. You had no time for retaliatory witticisms, and indeed no time for answers at all.

“Not the talkative type, are we?” Dolokhov was not even offended. “Well, suit yourself. Hope you haven't forgotten how to walk?..”

You nodded slowly and sank back to the floor, into the darkness, into the silence, into the calmness, and neither Crucio nor Avada Kedavra could stop you from that.

***

The summer of 1978 was probably the happiest summer of your life. Hogwarts was over, Aurorial Appraisal hadn't started yet, and between this and that James and Sirius decided to throw the Very Last Party on the coast: picnic, dancing, everything is top-notch, for Marauders and their girls only. You were a little bit of both, and you were invited even before Lily.

How you crammed into the unfortunate, well-worn Ford Anglia, wheeled by James, was a whole  different story. Marlene McKinnon climbed onto Sirius's lap, Remus pressed himself against the door and rode like that the whole way. As for poor Peter, at first they wanted to push him into the trunk until he got the idea to transform into a rat and save space.

‘Oh!’ you exclaimed. ‘I’d do that too, otherwise Lily and Mary are not going.”

‘Just don’t eat Peter on the way!’ Sirius chuckled. It was an old joke that everyone got tired of back in fifth year, and no one laughed, so you just shrugged your shoulders and turned into a shaggy calico cat. Lily picked you up in her arms, and the race began.

‘Slow down, James, for Merlin’s sake!’ Mary Macdonald screamed, clutching the back of the seat. ‘You don’t even have a license, and we still want to get there alive!’ but he just laughed and entered every turn at such speed that made you meow pitifully. He couldn’t care less about the car that he got after his parents passed away, and he did not believe in his own death.

And then!.. And then you pitched the tent, jumped into the still cool water from the tower, then Remus took the gramophone out of the trunk and played “Somebody to love,” which everyone knew by heart, and when it became completely dark, you sat by the fire and roasted marshmallows . Lily rested her head on James' shoulder, the firelight playing on her hair. In the darkness, Peter timidly touched your hand, and you didn’t twitch, you didn’t even laugh.

‘We are all joining the Order, I presume?’ Sirius suddenly asked, biting a blade of grass. Marlene and Mary shushed him, but James snorted and waved his hand carelessly.

‘Come on, that’s no secret... Besides,  you are either in Voldemort's team or playing against him nowdays, no ifs or buts. And how else can you be against him, if not joining the Order?’

‘But there’s no need to shout about it, you know’,  Remus noted.

‘Who is shouting, though?’ Sirius seemed surprised. ‘Just saying. And there are no random people here, so?’.

‘Peter and I should be spies,” you said. ‘We both have the makings of a spy, like, no doubt. Sorry to tell you, James, but you’re out of luck with this one. Your animagus form is only good for an assault’.

James threw a marshmallow at you.

***

A lamp was on the table, an ordinary Muggle one, the kind of lamp you usually see in a library. The light was somehow cozy, and you stared at it mindlessly, trying to either forget yourself or gather your thoughts. Neither this nor that worked out. The room was tiny, with a high ceiling, no windows, and you couldn’t tell whether it was night or day, or which day even. Mulciber was making you wait. You probably really tired him out yesterday.

“I’m going to die here,” you thought dully. “That's it.  My number’s up. I’m not getting out of here alive. Nobody is to the rescue. Mulciber will go on and on until I die or break, and if I break, he will listen carefully to everything I can tell and then finish me off anyway. Merlin, oh Lord, oh dear Lord, oh God, oh Lord, oh dear God?!..”.

The latch creaked outside, and you  straightened yourself involuntarily, trying your best not to look at the door. The door slid aside and he entered the room.

For the first time in your life, you heard your heart beating.

“Good evening, Y/N,” Voldemort said in a casual and even somewhat disinterested tone, but the mere sound of this voice made you want to stop breathing, and you even tried to do so. ‘How are you feeling, how was your sleep?’

“It was fine,” you said, barely moving your lips. Your tongue seemed frozen. The lamp hit your eyes, and his face was hidden from you in the shadows; you only had enough strength to look at his hand.  Strangely beautiful, with thin pale fingers, it was lying relaxed on the table.

“It was fine, my lord,” he corrected you.

“What?..”

“Crucio”.

Next frame: for some reason the legs of the table, ah yes, a spasm threw you out of the chair, and now you were silently writhing, scratching your nails on the plank floor. This went on for millions of years. When the pain subsided, leaving a ringing emptiness, he said peacefully:

“Get up, please”.

You obeyed.

“Sit down”.

You did.

“You and Mulciber didn’t get along, and I can’t blame him for that, you’re very stubborn. But maybe you’ll make an exception for me, huh, Y/N?’

‘Oh God oh God oh God oh God oh dear Lord oh my God’

“I already told you everything,” you sobbed. Merlin, you've never been particularly brave. Cheerful, yes, loved by everyone, yes, loving,  yes, but not brave.

“First, you didn’t tell anything, at least not what I needed to know. Second, Crucio”.

This time you rose as slowly as if your bones were made of glass (and it felt like they were), but Voldemort waited patiently.

“I want to believe that you learned at least one lesson,” he said boredly. The lamp was now shining so that you could see his face very well.

“Yes, my lord,” you said drearly.

***

The autumn of 1978 was harder for you.

Back then it seemed that the most difficult thing was to become an Auror, and then everything would go like clockwork. A dream job, friends, fun, you’ll stick it to Voldemort in no time, and all your youth is waiting, and the war will end soon. The real-life reconnaissance turned out to be both more terrifying and much more boring than the fantasies.

In November, Lily and James threw a housewarming party in Godric's Hollow, this time only for Sirius, Remus, you and Peter. It was somehow quieter and more modest, but still very nice, and you brought pumpkin pie, although Halloween had already passed. You left early that day, because an operation was to be set tomorrow (nothing too serious, breaking into the house of one of the outer circle and casting some good ol’ wiretap spells). You desperately needed to get some sleep. Peter wanted to take you out, but you laughed it off. You didn’t want to see anyone, you wanted to cover yourself with a blanket and lie down, and never move again.

Of course you learnt to treat it as a job, otherwise you would go insane, and that’s when boredom set in. Probably, you reasoned, it’s one of two. It’s either you become a bundle of exposed nerves, choking with fear every time you are almost spotted, or you yawn (or meow) boredly, memorizing the names of the agents on the other side. You chose the latter.

Things were no better at Order meetings.

“Our poor Cookie looks a little down,” Marlene said sympathetically when, after discussing tomorrow’s plan, she had a free minute. “Cookie” was your call sign, assigned for the spottedness of your animagus form. ‘Did you quarrel with Peter?..’

“We didn’t really make peace in the first place,” you answered sharply. Then you said, tone softened: “Sorry, Marlin. Too much stuff on my plate’.

‘Well, feel free to take comfort in the fact that you are not alone in this!’ she winked at you cheerfully and climbed up onto the chair, her feet on the table.

But it felt like you were alone in this. There were a few targets that you kept an eye on, but it still was tough, too much information, too much responsibility, and doing all the tasks with a cat’s brain was oh so difficult. You were exhausted, staggering back and forth on the roof in the rain, pretending to be a stray kitty, and if anyone wanted to check you for traces of magic, you would instantly lose your disguise and then your life.

The first big success happened only at Christmas, as a gift, perhaps. You've began to close on Nott.

* * *

‘I was turning into a cat. Spied on Nott and Avery, no one else. I only kept in touch with Dumbledore,” you said in a whisper. “My lord, I don’t know what else to say. I really don't’.

He didn’t record your words the way Mulciber did (apparently, he wrote down your indistinct cries just in case). He just looked at you, tilting his head.

“That is, I have to believe that you were so special that Dumbledore made separate projects for you only and did not allow you to contact the rest of the group,” Voldemort nodded. “Seems like we have a top dog here. More precisely, a cat’.

‘My lord, I don’t know anything else!..’

‘You're lying’.

* * *

And from that day you started to close onto the Headquarters, slowly, very, very slowly and painstakingly. It was like you were unraveling a ball of yarn.

This ball could catch fire at any moment; any hurry could’ve become a deadly mistake. Losing one of the Order’s members wasn’t even the biggest problem, that’s what they are for, after all, but in January 1979, you and Dumbledore had a short conversation in a muggle coffee shop. He let you know that you had gotten ahead and were now getting closer to the inner circle, closer than anyone else. You couldn't lose at this point, there's more at stake than just your life.

You left the coffee shop in a strangely high spirits. You're finally starting to like your job.

Peter came to see you again on Valentine’s Day with a bouquet of conjured forget-me-nots, but you politely and carefully sent him - no, not to Mordred, to the Order headquarters, so he could finally get down to business. Spring was coming, and you wanted to stretch out like a cat before a hard day, work out all the leads and then kick Voldemort’s ass at last.

* * *

Of course, you didn’t fill him in on this detail.

The interrogation lasted only an hour or two, and you no longer knew where to look so as not to see his face: in the corner, at the lamp, at your feet, in the corner, at the lamp, at your feet, at the lamp, repeat. You wished to go blind, you wished to go deaf, you wished you could die. You wondered if he really had nothing else to do. Why is he clinging to you so much, is he teaching Mulciber a lesson or what?..

“I could help you with that, you know,” Voldemort said thoughtfully, playing with his wand. ‘ I could tell you what we already know about you, so that you don't have to lie. Not so obviously, at least. Would you like that, kitty?

‘I’d like that, my lord’.

You no longer understood what you were saying, you just knew that you had to agree with everything.

“We spotted you back in the summer.”

But isn’t it October now?!..

* * *

‘What will you give Harry for his birthday?’ Marlene asked, leafing through the “Prophet”. On the front page there was a column about yesterday's terrorist attack. Marlene's boots were resting on the coffee table again, and you pushed them off with a sharp movement. When will she learn to sit normally?!

‘A key to Voldemort's Headquarters’.

This was almost true, because now you knew its location down to the block, and it was a matter of time to get inside. When this finally happened, you were struck how ordinary it felt. There were no dungeons, no gargoyles at the entrance, no skulls on the walls. What you’ve found inside was furnished as in one of the most ordinary muggle offices, and everyone behaved like the most ordinary clerks, scurrying back and forth, cursing at each other, drinking coffee.

There were so many illusion spells on you that you feared they might start to conflict with each other. “I’m in the heart of the enemy,” you whispered to yourself as your own heart beat feverishly. How come they can’t hear this throughout the ventilation? “I am in the heart of the enemy, I am in the heart of the enemy. You’re all going down, bitches.” But it was still far from that. First of all, you had to build a floor plan, and slowly, inch by inch, you did it.

“Well done, Y/N. Smart kitty. Ten points to Catffindor,” you said to yourself in Dumbledore’s voice when you found out the date of the first major meeting.

* * *

“I still remember that thrilling moment,” Voldemort said mockingly, leaning back in his chair. “At first I thought there might be rats in the ventilation. Then I caught the eye of this one rat through the bars, and everything fell into place’.

You remembered this thrilling moment too, oh Merlin, you remembered it.

‘I gave the go-ahead to Avery, he began to dig into you. Since that day you have not taken a single independent step’.

The room floated before your eyes.

* * *

This probably explained the attacks of painful paranoia that began to torture you in August. Sometimes you woke up screaming, either at Order’s headquarters or at a safe house (you hadn’t been at home since July, and Peter didn’t know where to look for you), sometimes you walked along the Diagon Alley and turned into an side street, looking at a shop window for a minute or two, hoping to see something in the reflection, sometimes you would leave your unfinished coffee and rush out of the cafe because the man in the corner had his eyes on you. You became nervous, and, alas, in your job this meant professional incompetence.

“Our Cookie is completely depressed now,” Marlene told you as you left Dumbledore’s office. As gently as he could he suggested that you hand over matters to Sirius or Peter, then he said that this was not an offer and that you needed to start tying up the threads. Dumbledore probably suspected something.

In August, you went on yet another picnic. Without Lily and James, who could not leave the house anymore, everything was just not the same. Remus showed card tricks, and Sirius got drunk on firewhiskey and sang ABBA songs the whole night. You needed to talk to Peter in private because the project was supposed to be handed over to him, but you couldn’t make yourself talk about the job, and you didn’t want to spoil the last day off. You two sat on the cliff, watching the setting sun sink into the water, dangling your legs, throwing shells down and remembering Hogwarts. Peter didn’t seem to hold a grudge against you at all...

“Stop thinking about that rat,” said Sirius.

You turned to him and saw Voldemort's face.

“I’ve been looking through your memories for three hours now, trying to snag at least a grain of useful information, and you’re wasting my time on Pettigrew. You really don't want to cooperate, do you?

The setting sun turned into a lamp.

* * *

Not even Cruciatus curse made you scream this much.

Voldemort winced, rose from his seat like a huge black shadow, approached you (Merlin, let me die, let me die) and took you by the chin. His cold fingers made you fall silent obediently. After a short pause, he said softly:

“Let’s think about it together, Y/N, since you can’t do this by yourself. You already know that I could have killed you six months ago, that the information you conveyed to Dumbledore was fake, that your greatest achievement at the moment is to look at me. Thoughts?’

Well, here comes Avada, you thought happily. Is it over yet? He mocked you enough and now you can die? You did pretty well, come to think of it... Occlumency failed you, but he never pulled out any specifics…

“A cat may look at the king,” you said, relieved and ready to die. You seemed to be smiling.

He studied your face for a full second, and then instead of merciful death or even pain, your brain just turned inside out.

* * *

You are sitting by the fire. Lily laughs and taps out the rhythm of the song on James' knee.

“each morning I get up I die a little can barely stand on my feet”

Focus.

Peter with a bouquet of forget-me-nots tries to squeeze through the door.

How much longer do I have to look at this?

“i spent all my years in believing you”

Party at Hogsmeade. Sirius dances on the Ford’s roof. Quidditch match, snitch in the sun rays. Knockturn Alley massacre, Marlene is dead. Ford comes into the turn,  Marlin is alive, she is yelling at James. Harry on a toy broom, laughing. Explosion at Mungo's, nurse sobbing. Knife plunges into the pumpkin pie.

So much garbage. So much unnecessary rubbish you keep in your head, dear Y/N.

“i just gotta get out of this prison cell someday i’m gonna be free Lord”

You look at Voldemort from the vents, he looks at you. Headquarters layout. Nott's window. Marlene's boots on the coffee table. Order’s headquarters layout. James throws a marshmallow at you. “Calico cats bring good luck,” Remus says seriously. “You will be our mascot.” The entire Order wishes you a happy birthday, you blow out the candles on the cake, but they just don’t go out.

‘somebody somebody somebody somebody somebody’

That’s more like it.

‘somebody to’

The setting sun falls into the water as the world plunges into darkness.

* * *

You're lying on the floor. You can't even remember your own name.

“It’s Y/N,” Voldemort prompts. He sits next to you and holds your hand, touches your fingers, strokes your wrist, and it’s so bizarre, strange and wrong that it can’t even be a dream. ‘Believe me, it can. But I would like you to gain the gift of speech and not force me to read your thoughts’.

“Yes, my lord,” you say slurredly.

‘Splendid. So, we concluded that any information you can give to me is useless, that you don’t like to cooperate and that you’re definitely not the brightest one. Of course, it would be easier and cheaper to kill you, but I decided against it. Why do you think I did that?’

‘I don't know, my lord’.

‘I’m going to break you’.

‘What?’

No Crucio this time. He just gives you a long appraising look. Works like a charm, just for one indulgence you already feel grateful and almost happy.

“We’ll take on you, sweet Y/N. In the Order, you had no one to look after you, and still, having no techniques, only raw talent, you plunged into the thick of it and even achieved something, and all it took was one word from Dumbledore. You managed to look at the king. Well, he looked back at you and decided that he needed a calico cat. As a mascot’.

“I'm going crazy,” you think. “The Cruciatus curse can do that.”

‘Why not? I think I can afford it, can’t I?’

“Yes, my lord,” you answer indifferently. Let the nightmare continue, it doesn't matter anymore.

“The old man kept trying to awaken mercy in me... Well, it seems like he had achieved his goal by throwing a kitten at Headquarters. I didn’t even expect such stupidity from him’.

Ceiling. You look at the ceiling,  counting the cracks.

“I’ll break you into pieces,” he says, and for the first time in that voice, the voice that was so cold and unforgiving at meetings, so paralyzing, slips something that sounds almost like... concern? Tenderness?.. ‘I’ll take you apart and put you back together again. And the new you will serve me. I expect nothing but undying devotion. Is that clear?’

All right, absolutely nothing is wrong. It couldn't be more normal. The Dark Lord decided to make you the mascot of his team, this happens all the time.

“Don’t be afraid to be broken, Y/N,” Voldemort says almost tenderly, touching your cheek, slowly lowering his fingers to your neck. ‘For it is the first step towards becoming perfect. I wasn’t afraid of this in my time,” he smiled sadly. His smile is almost human. “Maybe I’ll even tell you about this someday, Cookie.”

[journal420]

Please, tell us (me) more about your pinecest x paz thoughts / timeline. Are pinecest together before they realize they’re into Pacifica? Does one of the twins date Paz and accidentally groan the other twin name instead of her’s during intimacy? Do one of the twins become selfless and try to push the other twin to date Paz — because they know deep down they’re hopelessly in love with both their twin and Paz?

rubs my hands together like a fly

SO.... honestly in my head i think for them, pacifica crushes on the twins for a loooong time. on both of them. she goes through phases thinking she's straight, then a lesbian, then realizing wow i like them both at the same time. then she hates herself for being "weird" about it. i like to think she's straight up bi but has internalized homophobia cause of her parents

i like to think the twins are weirdly codependent and in love in that way, and while they teeeechnically know its not "healthy" they could Not Care Less, because theyre happy being themselves with eachother (and have bad influences COUGH THE STANS). their relationship is ambiguously Undefined they just know they do everything together. including being romantic

pacifica over the years becomes a staple at the mystery shack. maybe she even takes wendy's place as cashier when wendy eventually goes to college. she goes from being overly formal with everyone (mr. pines, mr. pines 2, mr. ramirez, etc) to being semi casual (mr. stan, mr. ford, mr. soos,) to just being straight up casual. hell she's let a couple "grunkle stans" slip out. she's just another part of the group that hang around the shack and she gets super close to dipper and mabel which doesnt help her crushes

i like to think that at some point pacifica breaks and admits she likes them. maybe she phrases it "i like you!!! and more than just a friend!!" to both dipper and mabel who stare at her and then are like "did. did you mean that for me or for -" and pacifica is like "i meant both of you!!!" . she'd probably run off in embarrassment after that too leaving mabel and dipper to talk about what to do now and how they both feel about pacifica

i love the angst potential of one of the twins trying to be Selfless and stay away so the other can be with pacifica, but in my head theyd only get into dating around 17 and at that point the twins already know theyre weird with eachother and are totally chill with it

honestly IDK how pacifica would react to learning that dipper and mabel are romantical together and that they also both like her back. apart of me thinks she'd be grossed out but come around or she'd just be like "oh well im an only child so i dont really get it. must be different for twins i guess!" and she doubles down on that viewpoint after realizing the stans are the same LMFAOAOAOOA. the idea that the pines family tree is just a circle is really funny to me and pacifica gets roped into it (gladly) LOLOL

[hemingwaystan]

Dipper should have taken Ford's apprentice ship offer, change my mind.

I know this is a really hot take but I want to state my argument and hopefully change some minds. This is my controversial argument, I don't want to start a flame war so try not to do any screaming hate comments although I'm down with a calm debate about it, anyways, without further ado, a really, really long essay explaining it.

First, I'm gonna take about Dipper's relationship with Mabel and the parallels between the Stans and them. Obviously, the show is kind of arguing that Dipper needs to stay with her so their relationship doesn't go the way Stans but I honestly think that's an irrelevant concern because they reconciled after Mabel-land in relation to the apprenticeship. I legitimately believe when they actually see each other, they'll love each other like they did before. Their was never a relationship ruining event like with the Stans that could force a rift, nobody closed the window and no one broke the perpetual motion machine.

Second, I want to talk about what it would be like living with Ford. Because it's definitely the most, in my eyes, reasonable argument against taking it I've seen but I still think I can prove it wrong, WITH FACTS AND LOGIC, lol. First, Ford and Dipper have already bonded deeply by the end of the show and will even more, probably like way more. That's why I think they'll look out for each other a lot more than a lot of people think. Ford has to drink water, Ford has to eat, so does Dipper, they'll just do it together. And about household accomodations, y'know like all the things a house needs to have. They'll probably have better stuff than almost anywhere else, think about Ford's lightbulb and extend that to just about all issues. And then I know what you're thinking, money, and that's definitely a hard one to crack but I imagine they'll either acquire their food through weirder locations, y'know like buying shit from the gnomes or whatever. I know this would be tough for Ford but I'm sure he'll quickly rationalize it as studying the economics of the different creatures intelligent enough to buy and sell food. I also think for standard money, in relation to the things that just doesn't cover. I think Ford, for his low-danger inventions he would happily do what McGucket did, sell some patents or produce shit on the side. Ford wants to advance knowledge and society with science. He has any number of things he could do that with while committing almost all his time to research, for example selling the patents for the scientifically perfect lightbulb. That would take care of him for an exorbitant amount of time, probably living rich for life if he cared about that, which he doesn't so non-sequitor but he will be safe.

The third argument against it I've seen is that Ford would be a bad caretaker, I think this one can be easily argued against. Because, again they have a close bond and will likely only grow closer. And I can tell you why that means so much. I'm a child of divorce and I stayed with my dad. And he wasn't a very good caretaker by any means but we looked out for each other in all the ways needed to survive. I learned how to do all the household stuff by 12. They care about each other, they're both intelligent enough to know how to keep kicking. Also, despite not appearing it Ford is clearly a caring person, the problem is people miss that due to his relationship with Stanley but that's built on decades of distrust,

The fourth possible argument is that Dipper would grow up too fast. But truth by told, growing up fast is a good thing in my eyes. You learn how to take care of yourself at a young age, you grow closer with adults by sharing many of their issues and with other people Dipper's age he can just not mention it. Also most people's innocence dies around 13 or 14, or maybe I just had a shitty childhood, who fuckin' knows.

The fifth argument against it I've seen is Dipper's social life and that is reasonable but if we follow the admitted assumption Ford will give him a fair amount of free time. He still is in with Wendy's friend group and he'll probably regularly see them after school, he'll also have Pacifica as they're relationship was improving rapidly by the end of the show and I think it's unlikely but possible he'll reconcile with Gideon given his character arc, assuming it continues after the epilogue. And Ford will probably become friends again with McGucket helping his own social life.

And now we're gonna talk about the advantages of staying with Ford. First, Dipper will probably have the intelligence of having a PhD by senior year. He'll get into a college of his choice and later in life, if not at a young age will advance the knowledge of the human race at least a fair amount. He'll have an incredibly promising life no matter what he does it just seems science is the most likely option.

Second, I absolutely love Mabel but honestly, she is kind of holding him back. He has a future and a life in front of him and he only ever sacrifices for her and she really barely does anything of the sort. She does apologize at the end but I don't remember any long-term change. I don't blame her for Weirdmagedon though.

Third, I don't know about you but a childhood spent in Gravity Falls, studying anomalies would be fucking sick. I know that's a personal opinion but honestly, wouldn't it?

Fourth, in the Book of Bill and other sources it's regularly implied that Dipper/Mabel's parents are regularly fighting and their suffering from it. A household of Ford and Dipper would be totally unstable as I won't deny Ford is rather unstable mentally although as the series goes on he seems to improve in condition with Weirdmaggedon as an exception, but like who the fuck wouldn't flip out during that but even then he maintains his composure. Dipper would be mentally safer, especially if my reasoning for fighting counter argument against apprenticeship five holds, but also, he'll be and this is an inference dodging a childhood of fighting parents and probably a bad divorce, that traumatizes people.

Thank you for reading my incredibly long rant, I'm happy to provide a counter-opinion because it seems like literally no one has yet. I really hope that the opinion he should've can become more widespread because I think it deserves to be, thank you.

[stupidlittlespirit]

as a stanley girl, there is SO MUCH MORE ford content. and it's 100% because he is "more handsome" (read it as the journal 3 passage where he writes "what is a silver fox??? people are calling me that......"

I also have another take: I think it also has to do with their body type. ford doesn't have a protuding belly and looks slimmer, while stan has a big belly, doesn't hide it, and when he does, he explicitly tells it's a girdle. cowards. afraid of this old man's delicious stomach 🫦🫦🫦

This is actually a really interesting point that I hadn't considered before.

I'm going to use this as a chance to analyse because I think it's quite interesting and I can't shut up about these old fuckers. Sorry.

And by the way, Ford repeatedly being referred to as being 'hot' always made me laugh because they're literally twins and it would piss me tf off if I was Stan.

(I am also speaking in big, broad brush strokes about the way in which they're received by the audience and portrayed in the show here, by the way. Very generally.)

The main difference between them I think is that Stan is portrayed as someone who 'didn't take care of himself' because he smoked heavily, drank, and was generally portrayed as quite 'grimy'.

But I would hasten to add that being homeless and having a rough life will make you like that to some extent, and that's not an effect of 'not taking care of yourself' so much as it is one of having to survive in any shape you can.

To be clear, I'm not saying you're bad or 'grimy' if you are/have been those things, I'm saying people often portray or view you as such when you've really just had to adapt and be like that to survive. You'll develop certain ways of being because of the people you're around (who usually tend to be hardened themselves) or even the people that you're not around, in the sense of social isolation. You'll probably drink or smoke or do drugs to cope, and all of those things age you dramatically. As does stress and trauma. You don't have anywhere to shower or stay clean. You don't have anywhere to get healthcare. You don't have anything. You lose access to so much that most people take for granted.

In terms of physicality:

Ford had to work out and try to take of himself to an extent because he needed to stay on the run and was moving around a lot. I hold this hc that interdimensional travel takes a HUGE toll on the human body and, like an astronaut would, it was imperative for him to stay in good shape or else he physically wouldn't be able to go on. He also had the astronomical intelligence level to craft food sources or find alternatives, and would have help from other beings along the way. I don't for a second think he survived entirely on his own and we do know that's true because he tells us so in the journal.

Stan survived in a very different way. He did survive totally alone. He had no one at all. He was likely depressed and being homeless meant he had no money, so, for example, he would have lived on a shitty diet of whatever he could get his hands on. When you're dirt poor, calories matter. Like, a lot. He never would have known where his next meal was coming from. He'd have been packing on weight with dogshit food and he'd have had to do it fast, but then you grow into bad dietary habits and it becomes harder to shift off when you become stationary or more consistent in income.

So he would have gained weight and kept it on like a life preserve, but he also wouldn't have had much need to work out to get rid of it once he was more settled, plus depression in general can add to weight gain, too.

Both of them are portrayed as quite stocky guys, as well. They're very broad and chunky in general, so their body type is kind of inclined to hold weight like that too.

Personality wise, Ford has traits that are probably seen as more 'admirable' or attractive by a general audience, in the sense that he is intelligent (booksmart, at least) and driven, he's noble in his cause and he's successful. He's portrayed as being 'proper'.

Stan, however, is portrayed as having traits that are inherently negative such as that he's dumb (he's not, he's very street smart and that IS intelligence, don't let anyone tell you it isn't!), he's a criminal, he's rough around the edges and coarse, he's kind gross, he's a failure, etc. He's portrayed at large as a Loser. His redeeming quality is that eventually, he's considered loveable.

I think it's the combo of their looks/bodies and their personalities seals the deal for a lot of people. One is seen as slim and smart and successful, whereas the other is fat and 'grimy' and a cantankerous ass.

We don't have to like someone to fuck them, but generally we do need to be attracted physically to them to fuck them.

Ford is seen as unlikeable in personality, whereas Stan is seen as unlikeable in looks. Stan is just emotionally more redeemable because we see his redemption and more of his backstory. Ford is just considered by a lot of people as big and sad and fuckable lmao

I, personally, don't think that when you truly look at them both in the light, that you can boil them down to those few traits. They are very complicated and layered, and while they do retain those points, the above is kind of 'how do they seem at a passing glance' or 'how do they seem from an immediate attraction point of view'.

Anyway, I do agree that Stan's body type and personality is viewed less favourably to Ford's because he's put forward as being grotesque, and for one thing, fat is generally accepted as something that equals being gross.

That's not to say I'm waving a stick being like 'waaah this was done on purpose it's fatphobic that they made Stan like that', I think their designs are purposeful but that they're done like that to show to an audience that Stan has lived a sedentary life since he stopped being homeless whereas Ford has been in motion constantly for 30 years.

I have no idea about how character design works, I'm thinking about how they'd look if I were writing about them as my original characters and I needed to portray their personalities/lives to my audience without showing them too much of their backstories up front.

Anyways, I think they're both dreamboats. Fat or thin. Don't give a fuck. I need them.

[al-the-remix]

14, bucktommy!

This was a really good first roll... Good Hurt by Chappell Roan, this is definitely a Tommy coded song. Tommy Kinard all fucked up after the breakup because no one fucked him quick like Buck did, no one ever had his number in quite the same way, prodded Tommy into showing him what he wanted despite hesitation. Made him roll over and show all the messy vulnerable parts of himself that he's sure would disgust Buck but only proved to make him curious and enthusiastic instead. Who took him apart, figured out what made Tommy tick and applied himself liberally. And he definitely didn't think it would be as hard to go back to the way things were before, when he didn't have some one who not only knew how to satisfy him sexually but also cared so so much, who Tommy loved-- 😌

I haven't written a second person pov fic for this ship yet which I really enjoy doing from time to time, especially ones that focus heavy on internal reflection/character studies etc. Lol, this would probably turn into more tommy kinard pain kink of one flavour or another because that is my favourite thing...

///

(cw for breath play and dubious consent)

Most of all it was the scent that lingered with you. 

The acridity of lighter fluid burning as you sat on the sidewalk, heat bathing your face, the glowing eyes of your childhood home staring back. somewhere inside is your father.

Beside you your mother moaned. An animal sound hucked up between sobs. 

The smell of smoke clung to everything afterwards; your hair, the pyjamas you’d been wearing, the inside of the cherry red ford pinto you were now living in. It wouldn’t come out until a week later when you’d finally reached your aunt’s house and even then when you woke with a start in the middle of the night with the rest of your senses dulled you still thought you could taste it on the night air. 

Lighter fluid gets replaced with the scent of fry oil and burnt coffee, slow cooking on their burners behind the counter at the diner. You do most of your homework sitting there, when you bother to do it at all. 

There’s a lot you don’t remember: your first beer, your first kiss, or your first time, but you remember the scent of sweat and the close press of bodies in the locker room before practice and the color of the grout between the tiles in the shower, damp and a little moldy the way it tickles at the back of your throat. Football doesn’t lead to college–it leads to the army–but it prepares you just the same.  

He touches you like he hates you. Like it’s your fault he wants you the way he does. In close quarters of the broken down shower stall on the outskirts of the base, the air is hot and dry, it tastes like metal and you can barely breathe.

The emulsified night blankets you as you swallow him down. You think if you’re going to die anyway you might as well do it with a cock down your throat. You hate yourself a little bit too, for loving it as much as you do. Even when his fingernails scrap sharply against your scalp and his cockhead presses rudely up against your soft pallet.

You bury your nose in his pubic hair, wild and musky. The scent of the pair of you is pungent, you can practically taste it. Spit and come drips molten down your chin and you’re not sure if you’re ever been this hard. 

You leave not long after that and the scent of the crisp night air makes everything feel sharp and real in ways that you don’t want to acknowledge. 

You go back again the next night. It's someone different this time, you can tell by the grope of his hands and the sounds he makes as he ruts against you. His body molds to the contours of your side, pressed up all along your bare skin and hot, hotter than the fire at his feet which had burned down to ruby embers; a pulsing glow that penetrated the darkness not unlike the combustion of the burn pits that bleed heat in thick waves, dotting the border of base camp. The smoke that stung your eyes and the back of your throat and lit the bellies of the wheeling birds above like they were burning from the inside out.

The air is already so hot it burns and when he wraps a callused hand around your throat you think this time, this time you might actually die.

You don't, instead you paint the rusting corrugated wall with your release. It's going to be a while before you can feel heat on your face and smell mildew and not get a little bit hard about it.

It's a bad recipe for a first responder, but at this point you're running out of options and couches to sleep on. When you're not facing a wall of blistering heat, it's a mess of body fluids and dark, cramped spaces. All things that would put you on edge if you were wired properly.

Sal slaps what is probably supposed to be a commiserating hand on your shoulder after your first loss, a woman who the fire got to before you could. The sweet scent is familiar, comforting in a way you wont be mentioning to anyone any time soon. It makes you think of your father in your house, your friends you left in Iraq.

You skip the offer of a round with the team at the ladder bar after a rough shift in favour of a place you scoped out a week after moved here. Half an our later your face in pressed into a pillow and there's a large hand keeping it there, fingers webbed out against the back of your skull like impact fractures. You wonder if it would be weird to ask since he was already inside you rearranging your bowels he could to the same for your brain too, sink his fingers inside and pluck out the important stuff.

White starbursts break against the curtain of your eyelids as your breathing becomes laboured. You barely feel more than a prickle across your skin when you come, head filled with cotton balls and fingers clenching weakly at the bead spread.

You don't realize you've blacked out till cold water is being poured on your face and you're sputtering back into consciousness. A guilty looking man with a spent dick is apologizing because he didn't know what else to do.

After that you stop for a while because what haunts you more than the feeling of heat on your face and a hand around your throat is the thought of your colleagues finding your body, still hard, and your bulging tongue a telling purple.

///

When you first meet even he smells like soot and sweat. His fingers are long and tapered when he peels his gloves off to shake your hand.

(I'm stopping here because I'm literally falling asleep while writing this but I'll try and add a part 2 with Buck this weekend)

[dr-futbol-blog]

Runner, Pt. 7

As he is staring down the barrel of Ronon's gun, Sheppard seems to get an acute case of "the enemy of my enemy is my friend" and hence offers to help the stranger in exchange for their freedom. His reasoning is probably that having this guy out there fighting the wraith can only help them out in the long run. And also, he needs to get to Ford and to make sure McKay is safe, so he might as well try anything.

I will draw your attention to the fact that he has not placed his body between Teyla and the gun, even though he's seen Teyla taken down twice by it already. Granted, we don't know what Sheppard would do if Ronon had threatened Teyla's life to get him to play ball with him but while he seems very keen to disarm Ronon here, swaying on his feet as he's trying to think of what to do next, his instinct is not to protect Teyla with his own body. Not like we have seen him do for McKay many times in the past, nary with a conscious decision. As Ronon turns the gun on Teyla, Sheppard full on stops himself from getting in front of the gun. He is trying to keep the man's attention on himself, he is trying to talk them out of this, but it's very clear that between the barrel of the gun and Teyla is not a place he wants to be. He makes an active choice not to do that.

Ronon seems skeptical of Sheppard's offer, and given what his life must have been like for the past seven years, he probably has no reason to trust anyone easy. Sheppard sighs, and turns away from him as Ronon seems to turn down his offer, and this very much looks to be a manipulation tactic. As mentioned before, Sheppard appears to have had some training in psychological warfare, he is very practiced in manipulating hostiles in many different ways, and here he very much looks to be doing that. While Ronon is clearly a formidable warrior whose instincts have served him well for him to have survived for so long, he is still quite young and unequipped to deal with the kind of skills Sheppard has for incapacitating an enemy. Sheppard has been working him the whole time they have been his captives, and he's just trying another angle here:

Sheppard: You know, there's a chance we could help you. Dex: How? Sheppard: We know a pretty good doctor. Maybe he could take that tracking device out of you. Dex: You think I haven't tried? Sheppard: Suit yourself.

Sure, it could be that Sheppard is merely weary, that he's actually feeling so morose that he just doesn't care anymore. Doesn't care what happens to this man, to Teyla, or to himself. It's possible. But there definitely seems to be a performative quality to his sigh. The way he looks away, presses his head down and looks deflated. Sheppard is not going to turn his eyes away from a gun pointed at him unless he had a good reason for it. He is making a performative display of emotion to provoke a complementary emotion in the target, which is a very effective manipulation technique especially when one is in a weaker power position, as he is here. He's not angry, he's disappointed. And it seems to work, too.

Although not trusting him yet by any means, Ronon is immediately intrigued:

Dex: And why would you do that? Sheppard: Because I'm a nice guy. Look, I told you. You hate the wraith, we hate the wraith. It's something we all have in common. We just want our friend back. Dex: You get this tracking device out of me, I'll get your friend back for you. Sheppard: OK, good. It's a deal.

Another reference to friends is made. But what's really concerning is Sheppard's quip about being a nice guy. He says this dripping with sarcasm. He clearly does not believe it about himself for one moment. He even shakes his head no as he says it, which just confirms that he does not believe what he says (it's a common tell when people are lying that their heads either nod or shake to the opposite effect of their words). He says "I'm a nice guy" like he's basically saying "fuck you, that's why".

His actual reasons are to get free, get Ford, and let this guy loose on the wraith. He knows that he's not a nice guy. If he was a nice guy, Ford never would have run out on him. If he was a nice guy, McKay would want to be with him. If he was a nice guy, he could actually be McKay's friend and not be such a dick toward him just because his own heart is aching. He's trying so hard to do the right thing and it always seems to come out wrong. So maybe he can do something for this guy. Maybe he can do something right by someone, for a change.

Leaving Teyla behind, Sheppard takes off at a run to the jumper. And note that yet again, he does not offer to stay himself and let Teyla go back to the jumper to relay the message to Atlantis. He full on leaves a defenseless woman alone in the woods with a man he knows very little about, and what little he knows tells him he's a very dangerous man. And yes, he sees Teyla as a warrior first. But it's obvious here that he has trouble seeing her as a woman at all.

And while Ronon probably hasn't had sex for a very long time, he never seems interested in Teyla that way. This, however, doesn't change the fact that this could have been a very bad idea, a very bad call from Sheppard. It's the ever-enduring spark of humanity in Ronan that saved the day (in more ways than one) here, not the exceptional military strategy employed by Sheppard. Like, he doesn't even offer to stay in her stead. It doesn't even occur to him that he could do that. He has very literally been willing to give up his own life several times to keep McKay safe but seems to display none of that instinct here. But let's say it's because he has such respect for Teyla as a warrior and because McKay is such an asset for them.

Once Sheppard is back at the jumper, he discovers that Lorne has lost McKay in the woods. His reaction is interesting. But first note that his first question, the first thing that interests him as he makes it back, is about McKay. He says "Where's Lorne?" to one of Lorne's men because that's who they know, that's who they are in contact with, it's Lorne that is the context for these men. But his interest in Lorne's whereabouts is about McKay, because he had entrusted McKay to him and the last information he has, McKay was with Lorne. He probably expected to find McKay in the same place he would find Lorne.

That's his first priority, finding McKay. And you can tell that this is the case by the fact that as he actually sees Lorne, Sheppard is barely paying attention to him. His "What happened to you?" sounds distracted, not like he has actual concern for Lorne's well-being. And as he passes Lorne, he turns to look at the soldier that was seated next to him, making mental note of the fact that it is not McKay. But before he has time to ask about the thing that he actually cares about, Lorne volunteers the information.

If we saw McKay basically not react to them losing contact with Sheppard earlier, Sheppard now responds to Lorne's report about having lost McKay with only an offhand "Great!" Only, it's not a case of dissociation with him, it's just the amount of feeling that he's willing to show to his men. Sheppard has the exact same response to the arrival of wraith darts through the gate later on. That's the same amount of fucked he thinks he is having apparently lost McKay. But the thing is, we don't actually get to see the full extent of his reaction to this. He runs into the jumper and immediately starts dialing the gate to contact Atlantis, and we then cut away.

However, it seems as though Sheppard's level of urgency rises between him asking Lorne what was the matter with him and Lorne mentioning McKay being missing. He's punching up the gate symbols like there was a fire under him, all of a sudden. Sure, he came to the jumper at a run but given that he had left Teyla alone with this stranger, it doesn't seem like his original plan to get Beckett to come to the planet to help them with the guy's tracker was that time sensitive. Sure, they need to get a move on but there's no desperation. Now, McKay having gone missing? That is time sensitive. Every second he doesn't know where that man is is a second too many.

So, how come we don't see Sheppard react to McKay having gone missing? We don't get to hear Sheppard's call to Atlantis and the next time we see him, he's busy bringing Beckett back to Ronan's cave. So, he doesn't care that much, right? Only, Weir mentions McKay to Beckett as he's preparing to leave for his house-call on the alien planet meaning that Sheppard obviously had told her about it and very likely had extracted all the details about it from Lorne during the call, as it seems like Weir knows precisely what had happened. So, it tells us Sheppard was at least interested. But the thing is, later Ford takes out a pair of marines searching the forest for something which means that before Sheppard had left the jumper with Beckett, he had ordered the others to look for McKay.

The reason he did not go himself was because as (presumably, given how he managed to clip Acastus Kolya while he was holding Weir as hostage) the best sharp shooter of the lot, it was up to him to keep the expedition's chief medical officer and McKay's best friend alive through the ordeal. He personally had to go back to the cave. But everyone else that was not guarding the gate was on McKay duty. It's never explicitly mentioned and yet it's very obvious that's what is going on with the marines in the woods. They're even cautious as McKay jumps up from the bushes, clearly expecting some terrible thing to be at his heels.

But despite the fact that a whole lot of people seem to be worried about McKay, he's handling himself pretty well given how unhinged Ford seems to be. Their interaction also gives us insight into just how McKay is doing in his life, all things considered. For one, he seems to be in much better physical condition than Lorne had believed:

Ford: Why are you stopping? McKay: Because I am tired, and you have no idea where you're going. Ford: How do you know? McKay: We've been walking around in circles for hours!

Not only have they been wading through difficult terrain for hours, McKay has been doing all of it in the rubber suit, with nothing to drink the whole time. Anyone would be exhausted from this. He's also hypoglycemic and hasn't had anything to eat in hours, either. McKay seems to have a lot of stamina. But it looks like that's not even the reason why he stopped here. He clearly loses his footing and, embarrassed by this, attempts to cover for it by taking a pose. It's actually pretty similar to Sheppard's first trek through the woods with Teyla in Rising (S0102), where Sheppard loses his footing and tries to be real smooth about his landing. McKay tells Ford he's tired to cover up for losing his balance not because that was the reason.

And speaking of things these two do in a similar way, as couples often adopt mannerisms from the other, McKay rotates his hand quickly as the mentions the word "circle" here, a visual representation of the shape. Sheppard did the same thing using his head (as his hands were tied) when he mentioned "circle" to Ronon earlier.

Furthermore, this may be another case of distorted perception of time for McKay. He tells Ford he feels like they've been walking around for hours, but given that they are now expecting the wraith to arrive on the planet any minute and Sheppard does seem to be trying to speed things along, this is likely an exaggeration. And again time feels longer to him, it seems to him like his suffering is prolonged, a common sign of dissociation.

Now, while Ford seems to be projecting hardcore as he unloads on McKay here, no longer having his CO as a reason to keep his thoughts regarding McKay to himself, he does seem to manage to strike a few nerves with McKay. McKay's voice breaks as he responds to Ford's tirade because his accusation is true, as far as McKay is concerned. For a man that hasn't had that many friends in his life, he sure has let them down a lot lately:

Ford: So that's it -- you just give up, is that it? That's what you do, isn't it -- you give up on your friends when they need you most! McKay: No-one's given up on you, Ford! We wanna help you! Ford: I'm talking about Major Sheppard and Teyla. McKay: Lieutenant Colonel Sheppard.

Furthermore, McKay's bitterness for Sheppard's promotion seems to come out full force here. Ford interprets McKay's words as him making fun of him for having forgotten Sheppard's new title where that probably wasn't even close to what McKay intended with his tone.

McKay seems to spit out the title with thinly veiled disdain either toward Sheppard being promoted or toward the US military in general. He himself had trouble remembering the new title a whole month later (perhaps indicative of some mental resistance toward the information on his part), so Ford not being able to remember it here is not surprising in the least, nor is it a target for mockery for McKay. But what we can see here clearly is that McKay has a problem with Sheppard's promotion, and this problem is definitely not that he doesn't think Sheppard deserved it. His attitude must have some other motivation. Like the fact that he thinks the promotion is one of the obstacles now permanently between the two of them, stopping them from getting to each other.

But because Ford is expecting McKay to make fun of him, he takes offense at this. He's expecting McKay to make fun of him because his interpretation of their past team dynamic is that McKay and Sheppard made fun of him ("Oh, so it's OK when you guys do it"), they hazed the young soldier. And again, he continues projecting:

Ford: Alright -- Lieutenant Colonel. So Ford's lost it, Ford's all crazy, Ford can't even remember a simple little thing. McKay: Hey, I never said that! Although the fact that you keep referring to yourself in the third person does indicate clinical dissociation.

But the ugly truth of the matter is that Ford was barely on McKay's radar, for him he was a blunt instrument. He regarded Ford in a way that he hates to be treated himself. And here, Ford is holding up a mirror to his face, forcing him to take a look at himself. If McKay wasn't dissociating so hard, all of this might actually hurt. But although Ford seems to be lashing out due to his own issues, he's digging up dirt from his own subconscious to fling at McKay, he does manage to say things that, while not necessarily factually true, McKay believes to be true about himself at the end of the day. What Ford says to him just reinforces what McKay already thinks about himself, and it's notable that he has no arguments against it.

Ford: You don't even know what a friend is, do you, McKay? All you care about is yourself. McKay: Will you relax?! Ford: You relax! You're pathetic. You were always making fun of me. You wanna play a game? Pick on Ford. I could shoot you and leave you here to die. McKay: Shoot me? When did this escalate to physical violence?

McKay is selfish, he's aware of that. He needed time to sort through his feelings. He needed Sheppard t be honest with him. He needed Sheppard to let him in. He needed Sheppard to trust him. He needed Sheppard to consider him. He needed Sheppard to be there for him. He needed Sheppard to want him, to love him, to choose him. He needed, he needed, he needed. And he had never really even stopped to consider what Sheppard might need. He really was a bad friend, and a worse lover. He did only care about himself. No one had ever accused him of caring too much about other people. Most people were abstractions to him and the few people he did consider his friends, he treated poorly. But Ford didn't have to throw all of that to his face like that.

The thing to note here is that McKay seems not at all intimidated by Ford. And this seems to have nothing to do with him believing Ford is still the same old Ford who would not hurt him, or that he just doesn't realize how the wraith enzyme must be affecting his mind (he did see Ford almost choke the life out of his best friend right in front of him, after all; he knows Ford is far from alright), or that he's displaying any special brand of bravery here. It's much more concerning than that. Like Sheppard earlier, McKay seems not to care what happens to him. McKay is being held together by such a thin thread that he seems to be very close to his breaking point, and all of the things he's been keeping inside for the past months suddenly come tumbling out of him:

McKay: Alright, you wanna shoot me, shoot me! Fine! I don't care. It'll just save me suffering one of the many horribly painful deaths I have in line from having been exposed to this much radiation! And, quite frankly, it'll prove just how far gone you are!

He goes off on Ford. And his diatribe has nothing whatsoever to do with Ford, he simply can't take any more suffering, he has reached his limit. While he adds the words "from having been exposed to this much radiation" as though he was talking about just now, was talking about just the day he's had, it's much more than that. We know from The Siege (S02E01) that he has been thinking about death, all the terrible ways to die, for a while now ("Slow death, quick death, painful death, cold, lonely death..."). McKay is in so much anguish over what transpired in the past few months that some part of him thinks it would be a relief if someone ended him, ended his suffering.

McKay keeps this mostly under wraps, losing himself in his work. Mostly he seems functional, his old normal self, focused on doing things. But this is what he's hiding inside the whole time. This is what he tries to protect Sheppard from by not letting the man close to him. This has been eating him up inside ever since he watched Peter Grodin give up his life for nothing, ever since he watched that dot that was Sheppard's jumper move inevitably toward the hive on the screen in the control platform. He loves Sheppard too much to let him to be hurt by this venom.

But still, in his heart of hearts, McKay does not want to die. It's not over for him, either.

Having no more words to say, Ford shoots up the woods around McKay, and this makes him suddenly snap out of the dark place he was at. McKay even empathizes with Ford as he stops to really listen what the man is telling him. He can relate to feeling all alone. He can relate to someone not trusting him. Even though he does not think so himself, McKay does care about people. He doesn't always understand them, they frequently get in his way and irritate him because he's quicker than most, but he cares a lot. He cares so much that he has been ready to give up his own life on several occasions so that others might have the fighting chance to live. And he cares about Ford enough to want to bring him back home:

Ford: I'm sorry. Look, you don't know what it's like, almost dying like I did, having your friends turn on you, no-one trusts you. I'm out here all alone. McKay: You don't have to be alone, Ford. Look, this drug is messing with your head. Come back to the jumper with me -- we'll go back to Atlantis, and Doctor Beckett may even be able to figure out a way for you to keep all your new super-powers, huh? Ford: You think? McKay: Sure, why not?

Again his voice breaks when he tells Ford that he doesn't have to be alone. He wishes so much that someone would say these words to him. That he didn't have to be alone. The loneliness he felt now, all the time, was unbearable because for a moment, he hadn't been alone. He hadn't been lonely. He had loved someone and he had been loved. Who ever said that it was better to have loved and lost than never having loved at all had certainly not been marooned in another galaxy having to watch the love of their life without being able to get to them. That was being alone.

For a moment it seems like McKay, with his genuine plea at Ford, is able to reach him but then the madness overtakes him again. Ford seems to be obsessing over finding Sheppard, and McKay can relate to that too. As Ford takes off, he actually lets McKay go free here. McKay has the chance to just walk away, go back to the jumper, go back to see if Lorne is alright. Get some help, find out what's going on.

Ford: First we've gotta save Colonel Sheppard and Teyla. McKay: No, no, wait. Ford: No! That'll prove that I'm OK. You go back to the jumper, I'll meet you there.

But of course, this is not an option for McKay. If there's even a slim chance that Ford is right, that Sheppard is in trouble and Ford knows how to find him, he has to go with him. Come hell or high water, Sheppard is the most important thing in his life, and that's just the main text of it all.

Continued in Pt. 8

[lettersfromaphrodite]

[19.45]

― pairing : Changbin x fem! reader ― content warnings : smut, fluff, grease! au - therefore it's the 50's, street racer Changbin, fwb to lovers (reader is a Pink), unprotected sex (wrap it up y’all) ― word count : 3.633

― notes : this fic looks familiar?it is! I’m reposting ALL my works on this brand new blog and therefore please, bear with me! as always, askbox is always open and feedbacks are always welcome 💌

🕺 GREASE! STRAY KIDS SERIES

Chris part one | part two // Changbin // Jisung // Hyunjin // Seungmin // Minho // Felix // Jeongin

«You know he’s gonna win, right?» Minho gently nudged his shoulder against yours, offering you a gentle smile as your eyes met.  You nodded, slowly adverting your gaze from his and quickly waved at Changbin, which winked at you with a confident smile before getting in his car: a white and flashing convertible Ford Deluxe with “SpearB” written on its side, a car which you were very familiar with.

You knew about his and his friends’ habit to spend their Sundays at the Thunder Road to do illegal races long before you became a Pink – Changbin’s only and exclusive Pink to be precise, but since the two of you started going out, you slowly saw these races in a completely new, different way.

Before being a Pink, you would spend your Sundays afternoon at the Frosty Palace along with your friends, talking about how idiots Stray Kids – and the other groups, were to do illegal races, all of them completely aware about the fact that the police knew about this.

Now, you would spend your Sundays along with Stray Kids at the Thunder Road, Changbin’s leather jacket draped over your shoulders - and over your short dress, your eyebrows furrowed in worry.

Changbin would always win, no matter who challenged him. His car was fast – the boys would spend so much time taking care of their cars it was insane, and yet, your growing feelings for him prevented you from neutrally seeing things like Hyunjin, Minho or the others did.

«They’re gonna do the race for Pinks» Chris’ voice said, joining you and Minho on the sultry asphalt of the long, straight road where the cars would have raced. «If Changbin wins, he’s going to win his opponent’s car. Seungmin is gonna take it back to the garage-»

«Why can’t I?» you mumbled, shortly tearing your gaze away from Changbin’s  nape. Chris’ smirk grew wider as soon as you cut him off.

«Because,» he chanted, «He said he has plans for the two of you.» he shortly draped his arm around your shoulders, a friendly habit he had, which you didn’t mind. Between all of them, you got along the most with Chris – probably due to him being the only one knowing you were completely smitten with his friend.

Your attention was drawn to the loud roar of the car engines, and as soon as the race started, you leaned on Chris, your eyes never leaving Changbin’s speeding car.

«Yeah, his plans are gonna be eat some cheeseburger and then go to his house to smoke a joint and have sex.» you mumbled, and he threw his head back as he laughed.

«It’s not like I ever heard you complain.» Chris shrugged, affectionately kissing your hair.

“I never had any reason to complain.” you thought. Changbin was great, regardless of which side of your “relationship” you analysed: sex was great, you could not blame it, he was rough enough to make you feel like he had just fucked your brain out but he was also – unexpectedly, the sweetest boy you have ever met. You never thought Changbin was the type to like aftercare but much to your surprise, he never once asked you to leave. Instead, as soon as the both of you came, he would hug your frame close to his body, cuddling together and humming to some unknown and random songs he liked to sing with Chris and Jisung while they were working on their cars. Sometimes, he would ask you to eat something together but still, you would spend the majority of your days together.

Even when you were hanging out with the others, Changbin always found a way to have you sitting on his lap, his strong arms securely snaking around your waist and his hands caressing your thighs or delicately brushing your hair away from your face. Changbin was not afraid to show you any and every side of him, and you could not be surprised when you finally realized that you had fallen for him. In addition, you could not exactly say you have been very subtle about your crush.

Between Stray Kids, Chan had been the first – and only one, to notice. Few months earlier, you sat at their table and spat a very unfriendly «Who the fuck is that», as your eyes fixed on the girl talking to a very pissed of Changbin and trying to hold his hand and she spoke. Chris immediately glanced at you with a knowing smile, a cheshire grin spreading around the red plastic straw of his strawberry milkshake.

«She wants to be his Pink.» he shrugged, nonchalantly, eyeing your every move as you changed seat in order to face Chris, turning your shoulders to Changbin and the girl. «I don’t know why girls even bother, tho. Changbin already made it pretty clear that the only Pink Lady he wants is you.»

Since then, you and Chris became even closer, he’d listen to you complain about your stupid crush, as you called it, and told you that with Changbin there’s more than meets the eye.

This was the main problem: it was obvious that you had a crush on Changbin but in return, he never said anything about it. Minho and Jeongin cheered loudly, followed by the others, and you snapped out of your thoughts.

The race was over, and Changbin was the winner; all of you started walking to the end of the Thunder Road to congratulate with him.

«I don’t know, love. To me it’s pretty obvious your stupid crush is totally reciprocated.» Chris sighed, and you furrowed your brows, his arm still draped around your shoulders. «Let’s go congratulate your boyfriend.» he chanted, again.

As it happened after every race, Changbin draw you closer, pulling you to his body using his leather jacket still framing your body to meet your lips in a long, passionate kiss, which punctually ended due to the wolf whistles of the others.

«You’re my lucky charm.» he’d whisper on your lips every time, only for you to hear, and you would smile, butterflies in your stomach and a faint blush spreading on your lips.

Exactly as Chris told you earlier, you said your goodbyes. Seungmin quickly hopped on the opponent’s car along with Jisung and the others left towards the Frosty Palace, waiting for them, in order to celebrate Changbin’s win.

«They’re going to celebrate your victory without you?» you giggled, sitting on the passenger’s seat of his car and Changbin tapped the wheel with both his index fingers, an embarrassed smile on his face.

«Yeah, well… It’s almost dinner time, I want to take you somewhere first,» he sighed, re-starting the car. «Before joining the others, I mean.» he quickly added, and you nodded at him.

While driving, Changbin had one habit you absolutely loved; his hand would either rest on your thigh or gently drum his fingertips along with the rhythm of the songs played by the radio. Occasionally, he would ask for a kiss anytime the traffic light showed the red light.

The ride was quiet; you hummed to songs together and you playfully complained about your hair being dishevelled due to the wind and Changbin simply laughed at you, reaching out to playfully ruffle it. You did not pay attention to the road until he started taking random turns and getting further away from the crowded city; his car made its way on dirt roads, going higher and higher, until you reached what it seemed to be the top of a small hill. The silence that reigned there was in contrast to the noisy town you were used to live and it was pleasant, relaxing.

«What about this place, Binnie?» you quietly asked, the both of you unbuckling your safety belts. You shifted a bit, turning your body towards him. Changbin took a deep breath, and you took advantage of his silence to gently trace your fingertips on his muscular thigh.

«It’s almost sunset,» he briefly explained. «I thought we could watch it together.» he hesitantly looked at you, and you both got out of the car. You walked towards the hood of the car trying to ignore the butterflies dancing in your stomach and your heart picking up its pace.

Well, indeed, it was a romantic spot to watch the sunset together but why did Changbin take you there? You were not a couple. Changbin sat on the hood of the car, spreading his legs so that you could face the sunset while also leaning on the hood of his car, his hands snaking around your waist and his chin resting on your left shoulder. You relaxed in his arms, surrounded by his scent. You were already wearing his jacket, leaving him in a white, tight t-shirt. You shortly wondered about him being cold, but he interrupted your thoughts.

«I talked to Chris.» Changbin mumbled, his voice dangerously close to your ear sending shivers down your spine. You petrified, as the sun started setting and painting different colours all around the two of you.

“That fucking traitor.”  You thought, deciding that as soon as you would see Chris, you would have probably thrown that damn strawberry milkshake he always drank right on his face.

«It was a pretty enlightening conversation,» he quietly giggled, tightening his arms around you. He did not raise his tone of voice, instead he kept mumbling against your ear, almost afraid someone else would hear your conversation even thought there was probably no one within miles. «He made me realize that as much as I love you being my Pink Lady, I honestly…» he stopped in mid-sentence on purpose, pleased with your reactions of immediately turning around into his arms to face him with furrowed brows and worried eyes.

«Honestly?» you asked, mirroring his tone. Your heart was beating like crazy; you reached out to hold the hem of his black t-shirt, mentally preparing yourself to be officially refused.

«Honestly, I don’t need you to be my official Pink,» you felt your heart sank. «since I want you to be my girlfriend.» You stood there, dumbfounded. Changbin was looking at you with a sincere but teasing smile, and your head started spinning. You exhaled loudly, a frustrated groan hitting his strong chest a bit harsher than you originally planned.

«I swear, you’re unbelievable!» you whined, seeking refuge in his neck as you heard him laugh and tighten his arms around you. «Couldn’t you go with the “will you be my girlfriend?” like any other boy, instead of giving me an heart attack?»

«I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist.» Changbin kissed your hair, that small gesture he did so often now holding a new, different meaning.

«What did Chris tell you, that I am smitten for you? That I was ready to throw hands to that girl asking you to be your Pink?» you mumbled against his shoulders, slowly leaning back as you didn’t receive any answer from him.

Changbin was staring at you with wide eyes, his expression clearly confused. His lips erupted into a smug smirk as soon as he read in your face that you realized to have said something you should not have. «Actually, he never said anything about you. But I’m pleased to hear these things.» he leaned in, lips hovering above yours.

«What did he say?» you mumble, honestly confused.

«“Changbin, for fuck’s sake, get your shit together before someone idiot snatches her away.”» he quoted, whispering against your lips before capturing them in a sweet, loving kiss. Your mouths moulded together, tongues languidly moving against each other. You tried to keep your hands to yourself; you tried to endure that sweet and marvellous first kiss as an official couple but, as soon as you felt Changbin sliding down of the hood of his car in order to reverse your positions, effortlessly picking you up in his arms and letting you sit on it instead, you couldn’t hold back the whine escaping your lips as Changbin pressed his body between your spreaded legs.

Your boyfriend nibbled at your lower lip, settling for kissing your neck as his hands travelled on your legs, caressing their way from your knees to the hem of your dress, as his lips marked your neck as much as the neckline of your dress allowed. Changbin’s kiss were passionate, loving and rough, just like his personality; he didn’t mind marking you up where anyone could see but also, in more private places only for you and him to know, and he didn’t mind being marked by you in return.

Your left hand flew on his bicep, loving how it tensed under your touch, and the other tangled itself in his brown hair, guiding his lips back on yours. You shared open-mouthed kisses and your left hand slid on his arm just to stop on top of Changbin’s hand still firmly holding your thigh, and guiding it under your skirt.

«Well well, kitten,» Changbin’s raspy voice mumbled against your lips, as his fingers traced the outline of your panties. «I guess being fucked in the back of my car wasn’t enough for you.» he added, sliding his thumb under the cotton fabric and coating his finger with your wetness, spreading it around your folds in circular motions. You panted against his lips, tightly gripping his hand as you felt another finger being added to the motion.

«It’s not enough.» you confirmed with a whine, a teasing smile on your bitten lips.

«Remember your words when later, the others will ask you why your legs keep shaking.» Changbin scoffed, and easily inserted two fingers in your wetness without further notice. You were glad that no one was around, so that you could be as loud as you wanted – even if you secretly loved his hand over your lips trying to muffle your loud moans.

Changbin momentarily detached from your lips to gently push you back, so that you were laying on the hood of his car, he quickly got rid of your panties, throwing them back in the car, and pulled up the dress you were wearing right around your waist. He inched down, his right hand on your waist to prevent you from moving, and the left one tightly wrapped around your right thigh - your left leg lazily draped on Changbin’s shoulder.

Both your hands flew to his hair as soon as you felt his hot breath and his lips connecting with your clit. He gave it few soft nibbles, teasing it with his teeth, and the only thing preventing you from arching into his face to get more friction, was his hand firmly pressed on your abdomen. You knew Changbin had a thing for biting but you could have never guessed that even his teeth on your clit would feel amazing. He teased you further, separating your folds with his tongue, alternating between keeping it flat or simply brush your wetness with the tip of his tongue. By habit, your hand flew on your mouth to muffle your increasing moans.

«You can be as loud as you want, Kitten.» he told you right before sucking on your clit again, the hand which was on your abdomen moved to briefly palm himself over his tight jeans. With a loud, needy whine, your hips moved towards his face, feeling already so close. You figured out that Changbin probably knew your body more than you did, since he moved away from between your legs, placing both his hands on the hood of his car, next to your waist, balancing his weight.

«I was close.» you whined, wriggling your lips as if he didn’t know already. Changbin chuckled, and you sighed, looking at him. His soft hair were a mess, his eyes were blown with lust and both his lips and his chin were glistening with your wetness. The sky behind him was still painted with the sunset colours, colours that reflected on his tan skin, making him appear like a masterpiece. You lift yourself enough to kiss him, closing your legs around his waist and tasting yourself all over his mouth and tongue, your breath itching in anticipation. Changbin used one hand to reach for his belt, while the other was tangled in your hair. You started palming him through his jeans, but he quickly stopped you, tightly holding your wrist.

«You can do that on our way back, kitten.» he explained, guiding you off the hood of the car and gently turning you around after affectionately pecking your lips. You leaned over the car as he unbuckled his belt and lowered both his jeans and his boxers round his ankles. You whimpered quietly to yourself, anticipation was driving you insane and you leaned over even further, balancing your weight on your elbows and spreading your legs, pushing your ass out a little more.

Changbin gently caressed your hips as he quickly pumped his length to full hardness, you head falling between your shoulders at the sensation of the tip of his length spreading your wet folds.

Unconsciously, you lift yourself on your tiptoes to accommodate him even deeper as he slowly bottomed out, filling you up with his length. You both moaned at the feeling, one of Changbin’s hands tightly held your waist, while the other was sprawled on the hood of his car, next to one of your elbows. Changbin’s head was on your shoulder blades, and you closed your eyes to picture him: his eyes closed tightly and his lower lip between his lips; you were now used to his body language, he always did it as he bottomed out, probably to prevent himself from immediately thrust into you.

Another thing you loved about Changbin, no matter how much time he had to wait, he would always wait for you to allow him to move.

«Go on Changbin, ruin me.» You held back a moan as you pushed yourself further on his length.

«Not until you say “please”.» He scoffed, his strained, raspy voice once again dangerously close to your ear. You purposely clenched around him, earning both his short nails digging into the skin of your waist and a choked moan. However, you understood quickly that he really was not going to move unless you said the magic world.

«Please, Changbin-» if you had to be honest with yourself, you were ready to beg him further – as you often did, but he didn’t want to waste any further time, and moved his hips in a slow, tentative thrust. Your hand reached over his on the hood of the car, intertwining your fingers as his thrusts grew in speed and intensity. Your wetness were probably dripping on the grass below you, due to how aroused you were. Changbin’s large dick was hitting in all the right places, that familiar sensation in your abdomen quickly coming back. Changbin’s hoarse and husky groans mixed with your louder ones, as he chased both your orgasms. His pace slowed down, the hand around your hip lowered behind your thigh only to lift it against the front of his car, making the feeling of his length sliding in and out of you even more intense due to the new angle. Your knee was tightly and slight painfully pressed against the front of his car, you would probably have marks later on but you enjoyed it way too much to complain.

Changbin was restlessly thrusting into you with both his hands pressing on the hood of the car, and you somehow managed to move just enough to meet his hard thrusts. His hips stuttered, before stilling inside you as his orgasm triggered yours. Changbin moaned your name with a raspy voice as he spilled his loads into you and in return, you almost screamed his as you clenched impossibly tight around him.

You both stood there, panting together, Changbin’s head once again falling on your shoulder blades as you both evened out your breathing. He carefully slid out of you, and gently lowered your dress back down. You heard him re-dress himself and buckle his belt but you were still too lost in bliss to function or to actually stand back up. Changbin was right, your legs were trembling but honestly, it always happened. Having sex with him was pretty intense, only thinking about his strong body manoeuvring yours so easily made another rush of heat flow towards your belly.

«Hey, kitten, look at me.» his still raspy voice gently called out, his tone sweet and caring as he turned you around under the – now, dark evening sky. You hummed, a wide smile on your lips mirroring his as he hugged you once again, kissing the side of your head. «I’m so in love with you, you have no idea.» you heard him mumble.

You blushed, your heart swelling and picking up pace. «I could say the same, Binnie.» You kissed again, slowly, savouring each other lips, before you actually decided to join the others at the Frosty Palace. Changbin laughed at you as you struggled finding your panties in the backseat of his car.

«Why did you throw them in the first place?» you whined, laughing.

«Why do you have to wear them again if you’re going to sleep at my place?» he shrugged, starting the engine as soon as you buckled your seat belt giving him a thumbs up, whispering a quiet «Found them!» His hand found your thigh again, and you instantly intertwined your fingers together.

“That fucking Aussie.”  You thought, a wide smile on your lips, deciding that as soon as you would see Chris, you would have offered him one of those damn strawberry milkshake he always drank, for at least one month.

all works © lettersfromaphrodite

Do not modify, repost, translate or plagiarize my stories. I only publish my works on tumblr & AO3.

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[pagodazz]

psssst can you give us headcannons that have been in your mind but you didn’t receive the right ask to give us

YESSS SO LIKE i have a lot of hcs but theres this main one I've wanted to talk about!

songs for the guys

I've kinda talked about this before but I want to expand more. Vinnie LITERALLY worships HABIT. And it's not like he thinks he's so cool and awesome, he sees HABIT as GOD.

Habit himself views himself as one but he would never call himself "god" bc he is not god, he is Mankinds bad habit. And I do have proof for this too, so I'm not gonna say this and not show back up:

normally the saying "For the love of God," but HABIT goes ahead and replaces it with himself, and this even fits well with the fact he most likely sees himself as VINNIE'S god. (But he knows he's not but he wants to be. Does this make sense?)

In the video two thousand three hundred ninety-five, Vinnie refers to slenderman as a god and habit scoffs at him and says, "You people will call anything a god." or something along those lines, and we have this from :D

So it makes alot of sense that habit would put himself up on this pedestal especially when Vinnie is already VERY eager to believe in a higher power. Vinnie has always been associated with religion and God and everything but I'd say as the loop goes on Vinnie loses some of that faith. He was devout Catholic in fairmount, his grandparents were religious in Princeton, and in a live stream Vinnie says that he believes there's "something out there, a higher power" or something along those lines. AND there's this which is actually in reference to habit, although Vinnie didn't really know it was habit doing all this stuff to/for him.

Vinnie chooses to believe in habit and have faith in him because habit TALKS. habit is something he can look at and touch and Vinnie can't do that with slenderman, he can't do that with the christian god. But habit??? there he is, using Vinnie's best friend as a vessel, there he is GUIDING HIM, PUNISHING HIM, LOVING HIM, it's all so fucked up but Vinnie would let habit do anything if it meant being special. He wanted to change habit, he wanted to bond with him, (said by corenthal in the day before the world ended)

If any of you know gravity falls he'd be alot like Ford LMAAOO, like if he could he'd decorate his house with habit, he'd pray to him, he'd do anything for him all because he truly feels like habit cares for him.

---------

I feel like alot of people don't notice the little things that habit will do, these don't make him redeemable obviously but you can actually SEE him be different for Vinnie. After Amuse bouche habit changes subtly, he sent Vinnie into a panic and he hurt him and then suddenly he had to leave. He says he gave Evan to Vinnie to help him out but honestly all it feels like is an apology. Habit would never say "I'm sorry" out loud unless it was some form of manipulation tactic I feel like.

What gave Vinnie a panic attack was him filming habit kill someone, so the next time habit is having him film him killing Shaun, when he notices Vinnie starts zoning out, his breathing shifts, habit turns to him and he gently leads Vinnie out of the room and he tells him to take the night off. Can't you see that's a DRASTIC change from "YOU KEEP FILMING AND SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

like I said, it doesn't make him redeemable but it's a CRAZY shift for him. I mean why would habit go out of his way to do that for Vinnie? he justifies it by saying the kill is just for him but I can't believe that, not when he's shown that doesn't care about anyone else. If Vinnie was Noah, habit would be screaming at him to straighten up and FOCUS.

Then Vinnie attempts to leave Habit and we NEVER SEE VINNIE FILM FOR HIM AGAIN. habit was probably worried that the next time would make Vinnie try and leave him for good and he couldn't risk that. It probably frustrated him so much that he had to change so much of who he is just to please Vinnie. He's insecure about it too, he says in sleeping dogs lie, "You think anything I've done is for your benefit?" and I would say, alot of what habit does could be said is for Vinnie's benefit.

He gave him Evan multiple times, he cut his hair, he pierced Vinnie's nose, he cooks food for Vinnie, he found housing for Vinnie. And while Vinnie isn't allowed to go anywhere alone he isn't locked away in a room or chained up in some attic being tortured, he's allowed to be habit's equal. They eat dinner together, they play video games and cook together too.

so this goes into my hc that Habit genuinely does feel something for Vinnie but he's not even exactly sure what it is because he's never really felt it before because he's never had the chance, no one has ever GIVEN him a chance.

I feel like whenever Habit goes out and leaves Vinnie alone, he goes out of his way to stock the cupboards with Vinnie's favorites and he fills the fridge up with meals for him, he writes him notes and puts them all over the house (also canon tho!) and he tells him to make sure to clean up and that he'll be back soon. And when he comes back, he'll have trinkets or accessories which are most likely stolen from his victims but he'd make sure to clean the blood off (sometimes)

I have this hc that the ring Vinnie wears in "three's company" was given to him by Habit (I can't recall if he wore it before then honestly!) and I feel like it works bc the whole time he's talking about habit he's messing with the ring and he refers to habit as his "partner" so it honestly probably had Shaun all "??????......is this guy married or what...." and then he meets habit and literally looks at Vinnie and says, "IS THIS YOUR PARTNER???"

I don't see it as anything crazy but I think habit gifting Vinnie something small like that would be nice, considering we see Vinnie with different nose rings, I also hc habit is the one who bought them for Vinnie because Vinnie can't go out HEELOSOSJDH. he'd just be so nonchalant about it. He'd be all "YEAH I GOT YOU THIS SHIT. SO WHAT?? DON'T GET ALL SOFT ON ME IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL!" and he literally just came home with all of Vinnie's favorite movies that he lost in all the moves that he had to deal with while living with habit.

----

and some random ones:

if Vinnie were to live, I think he would get more piercings and some tattoos, I think he would even tattoo the Northstar on himself. I'm not sure if tattoos would stay on him due to their regeneration/immorality?? but still! I think he would like them! I personally think Habit would be the one to give Vinnie all the tattoos and piercings too.

I also hc that Evan and Vinnie are the types of guys to wrestle for fun and then it just turns into a giant make out session (sorry guys they are weirdos)

Evan and Vinnie are both really good artists, Vinnie is more realism and Evan has a comic book art style

Jeff is an awful cook and can't be trusted bc he'll burn the kitchen down (lol.... not the only thing that'll burn... sorry..)

there will be a life where Vinnie is way more in tune with his premonitions and he'll probably be alot like Patrick and he'll be able to remember his future and his past.

anyways yeah ... that's what I got. I REALLY JUST USED THIS AS AN EXCUSE TO RAMBLE ABOUT RANDOM THINGS SORRY HELPSHSH thank u so much for the ask tho

[widowed-mistress]

Okay! As per my last post, things I think people should add to their Steven Universe and Gravity Falls stories.

Grown Up Steven during Events of Gravity Falls

Steven does not need to be in every adventure

Yes, I want him to cultivate a relationship with the twins, BUT I want him to have his own life

I don't just want him to be their protector because they need to learn lessons on their own too

Give. Him friends!!! Wendy and hee group could potentially be friends with him since they're similar to the Cool Kids, BUT u like the Cool Kids, Wendy and her friends doesn't really *think* ahead about other people

For an example of a stark contrast, the Cool Kids take seat belt safety seriously AND grilled the gems for being too hard on Steven. "He's just a kid!" One of the few times an adult stood up for him.

Meanwhile Wendy, who I love very much so, took advantage of Mabel to get an afternoon off from work with full pay after trashing the Mystery Shack with her friends. The Cool Kids have responsibilities and passions they take seriously and realize the sacrifices of them. That doesn't mean they don't act like teenagers and hurt people while being selfish, but they take more accountable. I imagen Steven trying to befriend them only to realize this and back away, making friends with Soos and Stan since their accountability standards are higher.

Stan knowing Steven is "weird" and entrusting him with keeping the kids safe

For a few monsters, Steven's powers are useless, but to make him defenseless against Bill? C'mon now. He SUBCONSCIOUS uses these powers and we see that when he does do things on purpose, he is GOOD at it. His gem is a gem whose main powers revolve around creations and destruction of things dead of alive. I'm not saying make him OP, since that is not fun, but I feel like he gets nerfed too much in these stories. Which is why I emphasize, don't let him go on every adventure

It would be nice for him and Connie to be used as a good example of a healthy relationship for Mabel. She tends to just throw herself to relationship, so her learning indirectly what makes a good relationship could be sweet.

Him and McGucket as friends. Please. Hand and knees, need this.

Even though Mabel and Dipper don't appose each other like Ford and Stan do, their differences are highlighted once Ford arrives, Steven would be a good meadeator between them

Steven could be the PERFECT obstacle during Weirdmaggedon, I'm talking Bill purposefully curropting him obstacle.

I'm talking building up a relationship between the adults in the show and having THEM take care of it. While I loved Future's ending (cried a lot). I also feel like nobody really acknowledged that many of Steven's problems arrived from adults putting their problems on him. It was mostly people saying they WOULD support him now

Grown Up Steven after Events of Gravity Falls

At least ONE person not fully trusting him

The family thinks he's trying to hide that he's "weird," he is not. He is VERY happy that he gets treated like a human while not hiding that he is a gem, actually

Make him friends with the woodland creatures

Can Fall in Either Category

Good adult figures in his life

Normally these stories focus on him being human in Gravity Falls. No! Well not completely. He probably arrives wanting it to start out that way but as he realizes how normalized weirdness is here, he begins to finally embrace both halves of himself. Existing as both gem and human without separating the other. Using his gem abilities but not for life saving events. Let him have his own fountain/garden in Gravity Falls

Stan slowly learning how Steven lived before (van life, eating bits for free at the Fry shop, cooking eggs using a waffle pan, nobody forgot that the only reason baby Steven and Greg didn't freeze when he was a baby was because Vedalia was out of town right?) And they bond over i