#which i know other people dont associate with that but i cannot stop thinking it makes you look like youre about to drool

[welpnotagain]

Forcing myself to solely be happy for someone like I truly am and my opinion on their looks does Not to be vocalised or otherwise communicated just Shut Up and Be Happy for her

[flagellant]

Hey! Please correct me if I'm wrong, but you seem like you actually know things about wend*gos and I genuinely want to have a better understanding.

Based on my limited understanding, the association with deer and wend*gos is more of a pop culture thing and the original concept of wend*gos arent like that at all. They're regular humans who got cursed for being cannibals, right?

Dont get me wrong, youre completely right in saying that people need to stop associating deer imagery with cannibalism as pop culture doesnt erase appropriation, but am I at least right on the history?

No pressure to answer if you dont want to, thanks for taking time to read this regardless.

Alright, it's been a while since I've spoken about the winter hunger so it's time for the perennial disclaimer: I am not Anishinaabe, and I cannot be considered a true authority on their practices and beliefs. Native America is, after all, not a monolith, and I can only speak for what I know through research and seeking to learn about this topic in order to be more respectful of them and advocate for that respect due to my audience's size.

With that said: You're correct. There is absolutely no deer imagery aligned with the Anishinaabe culture's portrayals and understanding of the being in question. I'm not 100% sure on its origins, but I'd be willing to bet that much of the inspiration would come from the Witcher 3's depictions of leshy--they click all of the buttons through visual language, and I can see why people would see that sort of iconography and begin applying it disrespectfully. Like I keep saying--fucked up deers are cool and spooky as hell! It's not a shock that through law-of-large-numbers and a history of oppression and thievery that the horror genre can often be anti-indigenous bc of that!

For clarification of the most commonly understood appearance of the winter hunger--and this is not so that you can more accurately use it, it is so you can more accurately defend against racist and inaccurate depictions--it takes the shape of humans. Often of people you know. There are sometimes qualifiers like frostbite or lack of feet but at the very root of it, it is supposed to look like a human being.

Further disclaimer: What I'm about to say may be an entirely wrong interpretation of the winter hunger, but it is rooted in my culture's understanding of a very similar evil being which exists in Dine and other desert-dwelling native tribes such as mine. It's further rooted in my specific understanding of religion through anthropological lenses, since that's why I love studying religion so much--because it doesn't exist in a vacuum it is defined by our understanding of our surroundings.

Picture it this way: Both the Anishinaabe and my own people are in some way considered extremophilic cultures. We both live in an environment which reliably becomes lethally dangerous to exist within if you aren't prepared, willing to sacrifice your own comfort for the survival of everyone, and combines a level of isolation during those extreme climates with a need to be able to trust those around you implicitly because you all want to survive. Deserts, be they snow or sand, are difficult places to live within. There are enough resources to go around, but it's not exactly uncommon for there to be enough to go around and that's all. You're surviving because you and everyone around you are putting the survival of everyone over individualist comforts.

The winter hunger and the desert swallowing you whole are always taught as something which looks like a human. Which sounds like a human. Which can trick others into thinking it is human. Beings which have the shape of a person, but have no humanity--they lost it or they never had it. And both of them are things which gain power over you when spoken of and thought of--they're a type of memetophage. They feed on people who know about them, so you're forced to balance "aware that this danger exists" with "need to know what the danger is". They often will try and trick you into evil deeds or danger yourself by wearing the face and voice of family and loved ones. People you know well to let your guard down.

Now remember that you are a culture which needs to prepare itself for extreme climate survival. Everyone has to rely on everyone else. But sometimes people aren't going to like the people they're surviving with. People will resent other people for whatever reasons they choose, justified or not. Living so close together and in such tight quarters can be stressful and bring out the absolute worst in us.

Imagine, for a moment, going out into a snowstorm or the bitter desert night, looking for food for everyone else, sent with someone you hate. It's a harsh life. Even at your safest you are at risk of death for whatever reason--getting lost, being attacked by an animal, taking a bad fall. It happens. It's a fact of life. It's horribly tragic but it's acknowledged as inevitable.

Imagine the knowledge of how dangerous what you two are doing worming its way into your head during this time. If you were willing to hate this person enough to kill them...it wouldn't be hard to convince everyone it was just an accident. Just something which happens. Kill a stag, then kill them and jam the stag's antlers through the wound. Or just disable them somehow and leave them to freeze in the snowdrifts and say they got lost. Or push them down a ravine. There are so many possibilities and all of them exonerate you of any complicity, because yeah, you didn't like them...

...but you trust each other to survive. You trust that you're all willing to give up things to make sure everyone is able to survive and get through these things. You trust that when you are in danger, you don't need to worry about it coming from someone you know. And so why would anyone suspect you? And maybe you convince yourself that what you did was good, actually. One less mouth to feed. More food for everyone. Or it's just easier for you--someone who you hated so much, and now you never need to worry about them again.

Imagine the way that knowledge that you've done it once would show up again and again. Anyone and everyone is now in danger because you've become aware of the benefits of being greedy. Of choosing to hurt and kill other people to further your own goals and desires. Of deciding that the sacrosanct ties of the whole community's survival is not a priority over your own violent impulses. The knowledge of what you can do to other people is, itself, a danger. You put the idea of it, the possibility, in someone's head, and there is every chance that it could start dwelling in there and taking root, changing them from a good person, someone you know, a member of the community, into an evil, selfish monster which has lost its humanity and merely wears that person's face. Uses its voice to lie to you. Wants you all to have your guards down around it. Something waiting to strike where it can.

Now remember that we turn rainbows into the bridges of gods because we needed to create a reason for them. That's the history of magic: we don't know how to explain something, or we don't know how to process it, or we do and need to obfuscate that knowledge through a layer of fiction to cope with it. We don't invent the divine for no reason, on instinct, without thinking. We do it because there is something that creating it offers us as a species and culture that would otherwise be lacked. So think: Why would tribal cultures who need everyone to be willing to set aside personal wants and grievances to ensure that everyone survives through harsh climates need to have something like the winter hunger or the desert swallowing you whole? What benefit does it offer the community? What is the purpose of sharing knowledge about this monster? Where would it fit into that culture's way of life and philosophies?

The answer becomes self-evident soon enough. We all know what it looks like when one person decides they can sacrifice other humans for their own personal greed. We call them oligarchs.

[prairietrashdotcom]

eee i got tagged to do a tag game by @mrcrepsley thank you :)

im tagging: @stitchedgrave @laceandgore @r0ttdweller @cherubgore @cannibaldotcom @unfading-scrutiny but if you've already been tagged in this one or dont feel like it its cool. n if i didnt tag u please do it if you want to also.

Do you make your bed? if by make you mean pull down the duvet so it can air out, then yes. dont worry about why that is.

What's your favorite number? 3, 9, 13, 27

What is your job? i have been a sporadically employed hermit for the last four years :( i am starting college again next week though (media focused program) and theres a lot of production-like activity where i live so hopefully in the future that works out.

If you could go back to school, would you? See above, but i do sometimes wish i could go back to my uni in canada, but only if i was single so i could at least try n fuck my history prof at least once

Can you parallel park? no :(

A job you had that would surprise people? i have no idea how i am perceived on here so i dont know if it would surprise people that i've ghostwritten a book and worked as an actor in a haunted house. those were probably the least surprising answers but other than that its just bartending and baking.

Do you think aliens are real? duh.

Can you drive a manual car? i cannot drive any car but im working on it, although public transport here is just decent enough that it isnt, like, urgent.

What's your guilty pleasure? i honestly feel less ashamed of my various sexual proclivities than i do about living for TLC's Sister Wives. watching that chode get left in the dust not once, not twice, but thrice was especially delicious.

Tattoos? i have four. both of the ones on my right arm are bird themed but that was unintentional. theres a little bird on my forearm from The Garden of Earthly Delights' middle panel, and then a lawn flamingo on my right shoulder. the lawn flamingo is heavily associated in Winnipeg culture with the Transcona neighbourhood, where my mom's from and where i lived for a few years. everyone else in Winnipeg clowns on Transcona for being white trash, which is not technically incorrect but its my favourite place. On my left wrist ive got a hand with an eye in it, and then a crescent moon surrounded by clouds on my left shoulder.

Favorite color? pink, black, light blues, ive been really into brown this year.

Favorite type of music? i love music in general, any type can be good as long as the people making it care about it but 80s alternative/new wave/punk will always hit so so good for me. and vintage or alternative country. and 90s alt.

Do you like puzzles? i love doing the nyt puzzles stoned every night but i will die before i give them any money to play them.

Any phobias? someone with prior knowledge of my phobias using them to torture me

Favorite childhood sport? i did kickboxing in my teens for a lil bit n it was really fun :)

Do you talk to yourself? chronically, but only out loud if im home alone or out in public alone.

What movies do you adore? to the surprise of no one; horror, especially trashy b-horror/horror comedy. also whatever The Butcher Boy (1997) dir. Neil Jordan (i will never stop evangelizing this movie please watch it sinead o'connor plays the virgin mary) is.

Coffee or Tea? coffee 100%. i live in tea country however. sometimes its nice but objectively the 'tea' people are talking about here (Barrys vs Lyons) tastes like a hot wet paper bag unless you put 3 teaspoons of sugar in it.

First thing you wanted to be when you grew up? either a palaeontologist or a goth, its hard to tell which came first. ironically my mom was much more supportive of my desire to be goth. this is the cognitive dissonance that came with being an early 2000s evangelical christian who listens to Rob Zombie and Evanescence. she eventually relaxed about jesus.

[antiv3nom]

asuka ask game? pick your favorite one

ok so i do enjoy asuka guiltygear but i have been thinking REALLY hard about asuka tekken as of late so we're talking about her today

also this took me WAY too long to post i apologize but it Is out here so yaaaay

favorite thing about them:

ok so legally i have to mention asuka's tekken 8 design because motherfucker WHAT were they thinking with that one. what the fuck was the inspiration. but i love it so much i cannot lie

other than that, i really enjoy her rivalry with lili and how moderately insane that bit has gotten, and i like how they've kept her a character who is a) defensively focused in her gameplay even among the generally aggressive play of t8, and b) has a generally down-to-earth feel to her despite. Everything. happening in tekken

least favorite thing about them:

so i was actually talking to a friend about this recently and she explained my feelings really well, its like. asuka feels like the protagonist of another story that isnt being told.

it feels like she has so much stuff that COULD be a really interesting plot focus for her but it just. hasnt been? like everything between her and feng COULD be so neat but its just been sort of...by the wayside for the past few games in favor of keeping up with the mishimas (new sitcom there btw)

favorite line:

asuka's quotes are fun but most arent super noteworthy unfortunately? its mostly pretty standard fare for fighting game open and win quotes unforch :( i will say though, i do really enjoy this win line in t8 from her:

It's not good to fight all the time. Well, see ya!

bc like. girl. what do you think youre out here doing rn. girl please

(note: i dont speak japanese so i couldnt say anything towards this, but i wonder if asuka speaks with a kansai accent/dialect in game? her being from osaka and all, itd be a cool little addition)

brOTP:

omg actually ive seen stuff between leo and asuka that's been fun before i really enjoy that, iirc theyre not super close in the main canon but i wanna say in the non-canon webcomic theyre friends? i think thats right? either way its a fun concept

OTP:

asulili...uwoagh........

fellas is it gay to buy your rival's dojo and fill it entirely with roses to get their attention? certainly not. certainly.

i do wish we saw some amount more narrative tension between them since most of it has sort of dissolved by t8 but i do think theyre really cute and as mentioned before i really do enjoy their whole bit its awesome

SHOUTOUT ASULILI WEEK BTW I DONT HAVE THE TIME TO PARTICIPATE BUT I AM HYPED ABOUT ITS EXISTENCE

nOTP:

i do not think i have been around long enough to see another pairing for asuka, let alone one i dislike, so i cannot answer this question LMAO

random headcanon:

spun my mental wheel of headcanon topics and it wouldnt stop spinning for like half an hour unfortunately so im just telling you that i think asuka would play baiken or may in strive

unpopular opinion:

i still havent been here long enough to know whats unpopular regarding her :,) although i think in terms of gameplay i think she's cooler than most people believe, though i do agree that her current iteraiton in t8 isnt very strong within the meta unforch :(

song i associate with them:

i can nigh on guarantee that it's because ive been listening to this song while thinking about her really hard recently but absolute zero by natori (banger btw go watch the music video it goes unbelievably hard), i think the lyrics arent entirely unfitting though!!!

favorite picture of them:

i really like this profile art option for her, the posing is fun and the textures on the clothing are really impressive

and then also i have to mention her preset 3 outfit which i LOVE SO SO MUCH

(apologies as i cant find a better example pic and do not feel like opening t8 at 2 in the morning on this day)

[lemonhemlock]

Hi! i dont know if you have already answered this, atleast i couldn't find it so i wanted to ask u in hotd wasn't vaemonds petition protected by guestright and wasnt vaemond a kin to rhaenyra and even daemon in a way with rhaenys etc (and as the velaryons and targaryens are constantly intermarrying) ...and aren't kinslaying and breaking guest rights super bad in westeros? I thought especially with how misogynistic westeros is won't at least some of the nobles want viserys to remove rhaenyra as heir. I just find hotd full of plot holes and wanted to know if you have a different more feasible possibility for this to happen 🙂. Also how come baela and rhaena not have any problems at dinner, for all his faults wasn't vaemond their uncle? I felt rhaenys kinda felt bad so why don't they show baela / rhaena similarly?

Green greetings! Interesting question about guest right. I suppose so, yes, Vaemond came to the Red Keep in an official capacity, within the bureaucratic framework of a petition. He was basically suing Rhaenyra and turned to the Crown to settle this dispute over patrimony. The Crown was supposed to act like a mediator/judge, allow the claimants to present their case and decide accordingly. Vaemond wasn't breaking any laws by doing so, he was explicitly trying to settle this case legally. This is in reference of Vaemond being considered an usurper by team black. How is he an usurper if he didn't enforce ownership over Driftmark while his brother was dying? Instead, he looked to first obtain the official approval from the highest court of law in the land - the very institution of the sovereign.

It's not Vaemond's problem that Viserys was rotting away in his bedroom. Monarchy is an institution, if the King is unable to carry out his duties, these duties will be taken over and performed by somebody else. Governance of the Realm cannot just stop because Viserys is too inconvenienced to do his job. The problem was that Viserys hauled his arse in the throne room and starting abusing his powers as sovereign. This scene is very emotional and framed very heroically - it is pretty effective at pulling at your heartstrings and a lot of people can empathize with the notion of a dying man using his very last strengths to help his daughter. But, make no mistake, what Viserys is doing is theft. He is taking away House Velaryon's lands and titles and allowing them to be transferred to a person with zero legal claim over them. I've said it before and I'll say it again: if Corlys/Laenor agree to this, they are complicit in this abuse as well. They are failing in their duties towards their House and their relatives.

Now, I will argue that guestright doesn't grant you immunity from treason or from other crimes. It just means you shouldn't be attacked when you're in the vulnerable position of being inside someone else's home. However, the King has the power to enact punishments in accordance to your crimes, so I don't think you can invoke guestright in the context of a trial, else the judicial power of the sovereign would be unenforceable. Viserys had the power to bestow punishment on Vaemond invoking lèse-majesté* but that had to be framed as an official sentence, with a clear crime being singled out and a clear punishment associated with it. Furthermore, Viserys merely stated his favourite type of sanction - cutting off Vaemond's tongue, not killing him - which, while still abusive, it's at least not full out death. Daemon is the one who acts unilaterally and illegally here, since he wasn't designated in any way to be the executioner. In addition, he takes the punishment to the extreme: he outright kills Vaemond, instead of respecting the King's instruction of just maiming him.

*Obviously, Vaemond being punished for telling the truth is an abuse of power. The truth here is that Rhaenyra's children are bastards; the whore accusation can be framed as lèse-majesté, though, since it is an insult, whereas bastardy is a statement of fact. They chose to add this in the show to make people sympathize with Rhaenyra and frame her as a victim of patriarchy - the poor woman being punished for her sexuality. Needless to say, this doesn't happen in the text and this act is presented much more villainously.

I think Daemon/Viserys and Corlys/Vaemond are second cousins once removed in the show. In the books, Vaemond is Corlys' nephew, so that would make them third cousins. I'm not sure if the kinslaying accusations still apply, though the Karstarks were much more distantly related to the Starks and they still invoked this is the main series. Kinslaying cannot be applied in official execution situations, though. If some family member commits a crime for which the punishment incurred is death, you'd be legally in the right to carry out that execution, should you occupy an appropriate social station that allows you this much judicial power, of course. Viserys/Vaemond would have been similar to the Robb/Rickard Karstark situation from that POV (obviously, what Viserys would have been doing is a gross abuse of justice, whereas Rickard's crime was plain for all to see). Since what Daemon did was carry out an extrajudicial execution, though, I suppose you could apply the kinslaying accusations, as well.

I thought especially with how misogynistic westeros is won't at least some of the nobles want viserys to remove rhaenyra as heir. I just find hotd full of plot holes and wanted to know if you have a different more feasible possibility for this to happen 🙂.

You might want to check out some of my tags: succession for the iron throne, the anarchy tm, division of houses during the dance of the dragons, bastardposting.

In short, a brother-sister civil war is a logical fallacy when it comes to an Anarchy-inspired plotline, bastards inheriting are a big deal in Westeros and Rhaenyra's allies don't make sense. :)

Also how come baela and rhaena not have any problems at dinner, for all his faults wasn't vaemond their uncle? I felt rhaenys kinda felt bad so why don't they show baela / rhaena similarly?

Yes, Vaemond is their uncle and they should absolutely feel some kind of way about this, especially Baela, who's been living on Driftmark the past few years. This is one of the reasons why I don't like Baela and Rhaena as characters; in the text at least it can be said that they get personalities of their own, but their their indifference towards their mother's house being repeatedly disrespected, their nonchalant behaviour towards being usurped (by both Rhaenyra and Corlys later on) is just not vibing with me. The narrative keeps them sheltered from the Dance as much as possible; they seem to exist as characters on the page simply to prop up Daemon and Rhaenyra and, to each their own, but I can't be bothered with that.

[felikatze]

binding blade thoughts (again), abt religion this time. so the elimine church is one of only TWO major religions in the ENTIRE FRANCHISE to not worship dragons, alongside whatever ashera's religion is called in the tellius games

and the elimine church is specifically EXTREMELY christian. elimine is basically jesus. she is considered to be the incarnation of god on earth and stated to have ascended to heave after her passing, which also tells us the elimine church has a concept of heaven as an afterlife

additionally from various supports we see that priests hold regular mass, and that proselytizing is also a part of the religion (though, fortunately, the bishop yoder frowns upon forced conversion, and will just leave anyone of other religions alone, cuz they already have something to worship)

yoder's supports also confirm that the elemental affinities are not just something for players, but rather the characters know about them in universe, and there ARE diverging theological beliefs in how they came to be. the elimine church state that the affinities were a gift from god (specifically, a nameless all powerful creator god, which drew me to the obvious christianity comparison to begin with), and the sacaen spiritual belief states that the affinities come from the earth itself and act akin to protective spirits

people also have some means to discern which affinity they fall under, as dayan directly states he is protected by the anima affinity

i dont think other games have this direct integration of game mechanics into theology? which is wild. it's so fascinating for support bonuses to have lore.

as a result of that, the elimine church also seems to have a strong "love thy neighbour" ethic, especially since belief in elimine is associated with the healing arts. staves are considered holy tools of elimine. all characters who start with staves are either direct members of the church, or troubadours. both troubadours (clarine and priscilla) come from etruria, where belief in elimine is a state religion

that casts a fun light on druids usint staves... call it a hunch, but i don't think niime is a very devout person.

ALSO! DRAGONS! so, yoder, our leading bishop, remember, seems to not mind dragons very much. he says that the return of dragons must be "prevented" and if it cannot, then dragons should "return to their own world", which is all very gentle phrasing.

however, our only non-mario kart depiction of elimine, in heroes, is WAY MORE VIOLENT?

"Never forget that dragons are but destruction given form."

Whereas Yoder seems wary of dragons out of a fear it may restart the Scouring, Elimine straight up advocates for killing em. It seems that her endless compassion does not extend to them.. huh...

It honestly seems like that aspect of her character just got watered down over the thousand years between the Scouring and Binding Blade. With dragons all but gone for the world, people stopped worrying about them, and they became objects of legend. Notably, the perception of dragons as demons does still exist - in Niime's support chain with Fae, she retells the Scouring just so, substituting demon for dragon, but soon drops that belief once she sees Fae is just a wee little baby, and just as much a person as anyone else.

Honestly, the belief in a god who created the earth, alongside the terminology of Divine Dragons - I want to know the relationship between those so bad. Unfortunately, Sophia and Fae have no supports with any priests. The only one who does is Igrene, with Saul.

And in that one, she says that she doesn't believe in god anymore, but that before she became an atheist, she specifically believed in a different god. Alongside statements that Sophia is a priestess of Nabata, this clearly indicates that Nabata, and perhaps dragonkind, have a different main religion, with a different god. There is like, zero lore, on what they would have worshipped, but i do wonder if that is where Divine Dragons come into play.

From the Igrene/Saul support we also see how the god of the Elimine Church is characterized. Mainly, as a kind god, yet one who will not intervene in mortal affairs out of belief that humans can make their own path. If you don't believe in god, god still believes in you, that type of stuff. Works well with the healing angle that priests do good in the name of god and all that jazz.

I ran out of things to say.

TLDR; the cast of the Binding Blade and the Blazing Blade are the only FE characters who can and will say "Oh my god"

[sodasober]

DONT APOLOGIZE I LOVE WHEN PEOPLE PSYCHOANALYZE ME!!! im a uquiz user…

responding to these individually jn my notes app

also wanna know something i think is funny? technically this is correct???? well i mean the firdt thing it asked was the castle but. yeah im a leo im an olive blood

Ok so. Olive blood means youre agreeable, but youre also not that fond of change of scenery. youre helpful, in fact, you try to be as helpful as possible no matter what it takes. if someone has hurt you, it usually doesnt stop you from enjoying yourself and your heart remains open, however, the people who hurt you will live to regret it. 

you .. probably also like animals quite a bit! — everybody who knows me knows how afraid of change i am and how terrible i am at it, but also how protective and passionate i am about my interests. so that is true. also. i do try to be helpful like a friends sad and i instantly go to comments like “you okay??? wanna 🌮 bout it????” but also the last part isnt as accurate i cannot deal with losing someone and it will usually take me forever to find the courage to stop being friends with sombody…also i LOVE animals!!!! but im a bit indifferent about dogs, and insects…

interesting thing is that being a derse dreamer is somewhat contradictory of parts of that. It involves being in a "constant state of dissatisfaction" and not resting until something is done with that dissatisfaction. it often involves pessimism and being introverted, and somewhat closed off. it involves looking to the future and past but rarely the present. — god damn it i hare how accurate this is. dude i dont even have anything to add onto this like?? you just told me everything???

the light aspect aligns with that last part, too! it involves wanting answers. seeking knowledge above anything else. it involves doing anything you can to get that knowledge, and being able to turn it into something useful when you do obtain it. 

Its also associated with telling long stories to people, and having a lot to say , having a lot on your mind usually. — this is a part of me i could totally agree with. ive talked about my inquiry / inquisitiveness to people before, and i think its quite obvious. whether its simple or complex, i want to comprehend it

i want to elaborate on these, cuz theres SOOO much more i could say but like. that might give away who i an and stuff AND ALSO. thats too much reflection for me i dont wanna think about myself right now!!!! that probably says a lot about me, um, oops.

also, what does this make me? like. the. title how to i find out my title…somethibg of light ig

i could also easily see myself being a heart player, though. not gonna lie

The title isnt rly something i can assign based off of the extended zodiac results ,, when i classpected myself i just picked what fit most imo lolol. from what i know about u (from the stuff u just told me in response to the analysis lol) i think light fits good , but at the same time idk- the thing is, if u wanna find out ur class AND aspect, then u gotta consider how those 2 interact! cause a seer of light and a thief of light are very different from each other. this is also putting more focus on the game mechanics of it all. light, in sburb/sgrub is about Knowledge, fortune, and actual light. fun thing about classes is that once u include those , things get way more complicated because theres for example bards and princes who "destroy" their aspect, which makes them act/seem like theyre the literal opposite of that aspect. if that makes any sense .. i recommend skimming through the fandom wiki page for classes, or maybe going to an analysis blog like this one (personally, i used to go on a blog called sburbanalysis but currently it seems like a WIP archiving blog so idk)

good luck . i think!

[ooglywooglies]

stupid discourse again

i literally cant escape this fucking topic and its driving me fucking insane and i dont have any control so heres some issues i have with the topic on the whole, on both sides

STOP TALKING ABOUT MISANDRY IN TERMS OF OPPRESSION

if youre gonna talk about the problems trans men face FOR BEING MEN dont call it oppression, trans men are not oppressed for being MEN. yes men can be oppressed but it is for another aspect of their identity. i know that transness and manhood are intrinsically linked in trans men, that if they were not men they would not be trans and if they were not trans they would not be men HOWEVER, being treated like a man is not the same as being oppressed. i think misandry is sometimes a valid word to use, only in the context of generally like radfems though because its my opinion gender essentialism and separatism is the main thing that defines radfems. misandry describes a HATRED of men, it doesnt have to be systemic. (it gets misused a lot so im not really advocating for its usage im just giving my perspective)

2. Men Have Problems, Not Worse than Women, But Do Nonetheless

i think the things that tend to affect trans men is MOSTLY just transphobia and misogyny (ill not say transmisogyny bc im not transfem and that term was coined with a specific definition that is not solely the convergence of transphobia and misogyny) and i hate when trans men push back on the idea that they are affected by misogyny because it "gives them dysphoria" like bro you experience misogyny as a result of transphobia, you cannot say that you dont experience misogyny just because you dont like it. men in general are not exempt from experiencing misogyny, this usually happens when men are put down for having traits/interests ASSOCIATED with women. obviously homophobia has its own word but homophobia is sort of rooted in misogyny in the first place

mens problems are generally all rooted in misogyny, trans or not, and trans men experience both mens problems and often regular made-for-women misogyny and especially trans men often get pushed aside and belittled when trying to talk about problems more specific to them. it sort of annoys me when trans men in particular (but it can apply to men in general) try to create a space for themselves to discuss this kind of thing and then people push back on them from doing so because they "dont experience anything worse than what (trans) women experience" and thats the main reason men (trans but and in general, in a broader topic) do feel a need to have a space for themselves because if you share a space of discussing issues with women then youre basically always talking over women and their suffering, and men NEED to care about womens issues if not more than at least as much as their own. people often compare trans men expressing a desire to have this kind of room to MRAs and thats another thing that really bothers me because MRAs were only ever a problem because they blame FEMINISM for their struggles, not the actual cause which is patriarchy (which itself is an arm of capitalism)

3. No One is Listening

the biggest mainest thing is that there are bad actors on BOTH sides of this discourse, and im not saying its trans men vs trans women theres a bit of both on each side ive been reading this shit for weeks bc its taken me this long to develop a perspective im somewhat confident in. theres transmisogynists using the topic to demonize transfems for no fucking reason, and theres people who think its immoral to "choose" to be a man, theres probably terfs fueling the infighting on both sides who fucking knows anymore

and both sides use the fact that the other has bad actors to refuse to listen to each other, like i know no one wants to hear "why cant we all just get along" but like, i keep coming back to this topic but i cant stop thinking about how this discourse BARELY exists outside of tumblr, yknow like is anyone thinking about what the actual problem is or what to do about it or that maybe they should do some self reflection and not act like this is such an us vs them thing

and generalizations, like, when will everyone figure it the fuck out that sharing a gender is not the same as sharing a brain we are not all REMOTELY the same as each other. like one issue we face a lot as trans people is being all lumped in together (not implying some trans people are bad and some are not-like-those Bad OnesTM), we are ALL hurt by being treated like a hivemind whether youre masc or fem or nb, especially because its so easy for any of us to start adopting bio/gender essentialism and separatism like i think theres a reason when we infight were constantly accusing each other of being terfs/radfems its because when we do that and we "other" each other we legitimately become vulnerable to that stuff

(side note not all terfs are a hivemind either they dont all have the same criteria or takes as each other - generally i believe being a radfem is always bad and being a radfem is defined by othering people, not just trans people, not just people that are in a different "rank" from you)

4. what do i actually think

i know im immediately biased because im a trans man and my perspective is therefore inherently limited, and the fact that im a trans man means i am also possibly thinking in my own interest

personally i just started transitioning and im an agoraphobe who only interacts with queer people irl (mostly transfems and grunglers as i have stated on another post) and i was exposed to this tag via the discourse first (the "this idea is inherently wrong" side) and i kinda got sucked into it as a topic because i was like oh thats probably something i should be familiar with and i should have a stance on it if its important

i think ultimately the discourse itself is not really important but its a fair enough topic to try to get into, the main perspective i see from most similar temperamented people is that "the idea that trans men have unique struggles and want to talk about them is fine, but the tag/term theyre using implies a concept that doesnt exist" which is basically my position

i made a post just before that i think "transandrophobia" is a stupid term, mostly because it sounds really dumb, and personally i dont think "transmisandry" is really a valid concept in real life but i think the reason it was initially used is like PURELY a tumblr categorization purpose, maybe there could be a more elegant term but from what ive seen the transandro community is pretty frustrated with the fact that theyve been made to keep switching terms in the first place.

i feel like queer communities on tumblr have ALWAYS had trouble inventing terms for categorization purposes in an annoying and cringy way. and its like maybe i am missing something im not claiming to be infallible or all knowing but i dont think its that big a deal that a term is not 100% intuitive on tumblr dot com

im fucking baffled that this has blown up as much as it has and its like, im not saying none of you people involved have nothing to be mad about i just think its become pretty well divorced from the core issue any why no ones tried to distance themselves from it or block everyone confuses me

i havent moved on or blocked everyone bc a) i got hormone brain worms man i literally cant stop digitally self harming 2nd puberty is awful and b) im not on one side or the other and most people are fairly reasonable just wasting their time or have some wonky arguments, ive been blocking some people but its mostly actual complete assholes

ive been trying my best to avoid using the word misguided bc thats just like inherently patronizing and i think ALL trans people have some very bad feelings about that word but its like... idk some of you are kinda dumb! its not bc of your gender its probably because of your age! i think a lot of people saying the well meaning dumbass shit are like 17-21

[aurora1040]

Cy, I get the point you are trying to make but jumping to the extreme end isnt going to do you any favors with most people in debates.

Yes, the parents are parents of a human being, not whatever they wish their child would have been. That said.

I actually agree with OP. On there needing to be some form of distinction (even tho I know the same Autist can be both high and low support needs on the same given day). Because, yeah, I think perspective does get lost and because those who struggle with communication of any sort arent usually around online to speak for themselves, and those that do can only do so with limited vocabulary and grammar, which also makes it very difficult to communicate their own wants and needs. I understand (now) why Aspergers was rejected by the community as a whole, but aside from its origin, it filled a very important niche in the spectrum for a very long time and I truly did appreciate having a word to distinguish the difference. Not because i secretly think im better than those with much higher support needs than I, but because when i say I'm "Autistic" people say "no, you can't be Autistic. You dont look/act Autistic!" ....Because its associated with the much higher support needs Autistics. But if I were to say "Im an Aspie," people might be surprised because im passing, but theu dont immediately reject the possibility. I was very reluctant to give up the term Asperger's because of this.

Another reason why I appreciated there being a seperate word is because my youngest brother is a much higher support needs Autistic than I likely will ever be in my life and it felt wrong to say we had the same thing when our needs and behaviours are so drastically different.

The OP is right, that Autistics want out autism parents to stop talking over us and other Autistics, but we need to remember that our lower support needs is not universal. Passing is not universal or a blessing anymore than being visibly Autistic as a high supports needs Autistic. Ive seen non-verbal Autistics online beg the lower support needs Autistics to stop calling themselves non vernal or saying that they are going nonverbal because the experience as a high support needs non-verbal Autistic is so different from someone who is semi-verbal or someone who sometimes goes mute.... only to see the vast majority of low support needs Autistics to ignore the non-verballed Autistics' repeated requests. This only one example that I've personally witnessed.

About the parent/caregivers. Yes, they are allowed to complain sometimes. They are human and care giving is HARD even when they are fully neurotypical. Its not a moral failing to wish things were easier and for that, OP is right. We cant blame them. I certainly can't blame them when I experienced being my youngest brothers care taker for a few months amd got burnt out to the point that I cannot handle taking care of even healthy, non-disabled, non-autistic child who is the best behaved in the world.

What I can judge them for, however. Is when they make it their emtire personality and take om the "pity me" attitude or posts their high needs Autistic loved ones during the "bad" times. Thats when I judge them. If they allow their high needs Autistic loved ones to ever see or hear those complaints, I will judge them for that.

But they are human. They have a right to express themselves, too. So long as they are mindful and considerate of how they choose to do so.

high functioning autistic people truly need to shut the fuck up about how offended they are by scientists trying to find the cause of autism so that it can be prevented and I'm saying this as a high functioning autist myself. it's so easy for you to go "uwu celebrate our differences! autism is awesome!!" bc you are not a nonverbal permatoddler who screams 12 hrs a day, physically assaults others, smears their shit on the walls, etc, nor are you the parent or sibling of one (if you were you would not be saying this nonsense). genuinely there needs to be a different word for high functioning autists (like how we used to have Aspergers...why is that not used anymore in psychiatric circles) bc the lack of differentiation between the two groups is literally warping high functioning people's perception of what severe autism actually looks like.

stop throwing a tantrum every time a single mother who's being beaten up by her own kid on the daily and has literally no help says "I just wish he was normal" as if that's unreasonable. how dare you judge these parents who are trying their best to cope with an impossibly stressful and demanding circumstance. oh and it's so funny how you hypocrites get so ornery when those parents speak over autists then turn around and do the exact same thing by speaking for those who can't speak for themselves on account of their 45 IQ, and assuming that they're going to somehow live a happier life in their current state than they would if they were neurotypical. you are totally devoid of basic empathy and I know you'll try but you can't blame it on your autism

[wizardnaturalist]

reading environmental science books can be incredibly frustrating, because even when theyre written by professionals who actually know what theyre talking about, who are clearly passionate about their work and about the world, and know the steps needed to reverse the climate crisis, they are almost never radicals.

like they spend an entire book meticulously breaking down the importance of ecological stability, laying out the arguments that work for people who care, and for those who are only worried about money, putting together plans of action that require national and international action

and then at the end they go "and people should eat less meat and use paper straws :)" no!!!

for one thing "people need to-" is not an actionable plan. the people will not. it is not like policy or initiatives where, if you can convince the right people, you can make sonething happen. you cannot just change the habits if the entire world.

secondly, this fails to take into account the corporate interests in the situation. in massive national and international goods production such as the meat industry, supply and demand are no longer connected. it doesnt matter how many people stop buying meat, if the government is going to continue to subsidize its production and make up for any potential losses. and the government isnt going to stop doing that, because the meat industry spends millions of dollars on lobbying and directly enriches congressmembers. this is not something where you can simply speak to the secretary of agriculture and force a change.

and finally, all these books seem convinced that it is the Fact of, in this case, cattle farming, and not the How that is the issue. wild bison roamed the (not yet) american west in numbers equivalent to the current population of beef cattle, but their grazing and methane production were not blights upon the environment. it is the cultivation of monoculture turf fields, the use of pesticides, fungicides, and antibiotics, and the feeding of corn and other low quality scrap food that produces the problems associated with modern cattle farming. there are already some ranchers making strides toward more sustainable methods, and it's a growing movement!

what I mean by all this is, the scientists who write these books, who are clearly intelligent and mindful of their subjects, all seem deathly reluctant to challenge the overall economic and social system under which we live. they have no issue pointing out the flaws in our personal habits, our laws, and our philosophical connection with nature, but never seem to take the final step and say that the very system that created it all is in the wrong.

and I dont think it's a matter of trying to keep their goals realistic either. advocating for the complete dismantling of the cattle industry, or noninterference protections for a third of the oceans, or a comprehensive and enforced global climate initiative are about as likely to happen in the next decade as america becoming a socialist nation.

[thickest-antivirus-programs]

Probably not specific to autism but i think part of why i dont talk to some people without masking, or isolate myself is, obviously relationships are reciprocal and i want to be a good thing to the other person. But to most people just my existance near them is an embarassment, associating with me unmasked is socially dangerous. This includes other autistic people who are undiagnosed or just prioritise networking relationships and dont take the mask off themselves. I dont wanna embarass anyone, which is why i dont talk about things i care about and move my body only in rehearsed ways. Its also why i can only stop doing it with people who dont care about their reputation which by necessity brings me to some interesting people whether i like it or not. And i dont wanna judge those people either, but its really either networking or genuine relationships, i cant have both because i cannot be genuine and widely appealing. Its like this with alot of ways you can be marginalised, but i can feel it very clearly because i can small talk to someone for 5 minutes and they wouldnt even know. I know exactly how people would treat me if i wasnt autistic

[carpisuns]

maryssa please post all of your marichat hot takes i need them for health reasons

please handle these absolutely scalding takes with care, miss mcwizzy. dont want u to hurt urself. also there are a lot of them so double warning aljsfasjldf

Carpisuns's Hot Marichat Takes That No One Asked For

omg WAIT.... for once someone actually DID ask for them SLKJFDJ ok scratch that

Carpisuns's Super Hot Marichat Takes That, Surprisingly, Someone Did Actually Ask For!! (And Will Probably Regret Asking for as Soon as They Click the Read More djdjdkdm)

marichat tropes are not any more tired/cringey than tropes for any other side of the square. like, what is the real difference between “princess” and “my lady” or a balcony date and a rooftop date lol. they’re all cute and also all have the potential to be overdone fjlaksdlj

the bell is immovable :) zipper is just for show

“chat noir” and “marinette” are not their “true selves.” and “adrien” and “ladybug” are not false/inauthentic versions of themselves. they are themselves all the time, but like any human their behavior changes depending on the situation. there isn’t like a separate list of “chat noir” traits and “adrien” traits or “marinette” traits and “ladybug” traits—all of their traits belong to them at all times whether they are suited up or not, and they are more than just the sum of their parts. they tend to be pretty comfortable interacting as marichat NOT because “they can finally show the real them” but because they both already know each other in another dynamic and there are no crushes or past rejections adding any pressure or uneasiness

marichat is not inherently sexist. yes, adrien wants to protect marinette, but that's not sexism; that's called being a caring friend. and marinette giving comfort to chat noir is not automatically playing into sexist gender roles. that is also being a caring friend. like in any good relationship, there is a healthy give and take. they protect and support and comfort each other. this how it is on all the sides which is why the love square is so great!

on a related note, there is no unhealthy power dynamic between marinette and chat noir. he doesn't think he's better than her because he's a superhero and she's "just a civilian"; he values her intelligence, creativity, skill, talent, strength, and leadership and would never consider her weak or look down on her in any way. and i wouldn’t really consider either of them the “leader” in this dynamic. outside of an active akuma situation they’re on pretty equal ground and i mean what is the power dynamic of two friends chillin’ lol

they take turns being the big/little spoon C:

marinette is not mad that chat likes her as “perfect ladybug” and not as “weak, clumsy marinette.” she has moments of insecurity when she is stressed but in general she has a pretty strong self-esteem and does not seek out or depend on chat noir’s affection for validation

stanning marichat does not mean hating ladrien!! ladrien is a dang good ship and if u don’t like it it then there is something sadly lacking in your understanding/appreciation of the love square—including marichat. also you are depriving yourself of something truly wonderful :(((

same if u hate marichat. most people have a favorite side of the square and that’s a-okay! but i fail to see how you can be a love square stan or a stan of any one side if you don’t enjoy and support all the other sides as well ??

ok but seriously for the love of everything please stop commenting on ladrien fics/art just to say “ladrien sucks, marichat supremacy!!1!!” -_- fun fact that actually makes everyone hate marichat/marichat stans lol and as a marichat stan myself i find the association with that toxicity very exhausting and frustrating !!

marichat is a slowburn friends-to-lovers ship. so if there is no slowburn or u skip friends and go straight to lovers then that is a different dynamic than what is presented in the show. i mean you can call it marichat because it still involves marinette and chat noir but i would not consider it like Official Brand™️ marichat tbh. i don’t wanna sound gatekeepery but also. that is my hot take lol

they’re not sexy,, they’re just very stupid and soft. i am continually confused and frustrated by the fact that marichat is still branded the Sin Ship™️ when canonically they could barely look each other in the eye after doing the traditional cheek kiss greeting lmao

yes there is Bad marichat out there that plays into the things i talked about above but there is also a lot of Good marichat and it is really not that hard to find. so when people say “i like canon marichat but i hate fanon marichat” i just like. don’t really know what that means? lol. like, you hate...all fan-created marichat content ? i assume you just dislike the Sin Ship and the true selves trope and whatnot but there is a lot more than that ?? and it’s sad to see it all get lumped together with the not-so-great stuff and branded Bad Fanon: Do Not Eat lol

marichat cannot exist in isolation. its very existence depends on being part of the square. this might seem like a weird thing to state explicitly but i’ve seen people get mad that there was too much adrienette/ladynoir in a marichat fic and that it wasn’t really “marichat” and i mean….what? lol. because it’s a civilian/hero combo, you have to show how it affects ladynoir and adrienette. u cant just have marichat be dating and then pretend like the other sides of the square don’t exist ? flsjadjk

totally platonic marichat....godly

romantic marichat developed from platonic marichat.....also godly

they would eat dirt and it would be weirdly cute and i have proof

even if marinette and chat noir fell for each other, they'd never just forget OG crush over even fully "get over" them imo. adrien and ladybug will always hold a special place in their heart and they will always love them in some way!

there’s no such thing as post-reveal marichat. if they know each other’s identities then the dynamic has changed and the square has all been absorbed into like Adrienette 2.0 lol

and for the hottest take of all:

marichat good

thank you for your time. please take a goodie bag on the way out

[jacqcrisis]

shit that makes me side-eye Supergiant about Charon and Hermes ‘professional associate’ shtick (by someone who’s only 20 hours into the game and has completed 1 run so far):

Hermes has a boon called ‘side hustle’, which specifically grants extra cash, implying that he and Charon have some extra deal going on outside of usual psychopomp duties

This is compounded on when considering part of Meg’s job is getting rid of contraband and it isn’t a stretch to think some of that’s been brought into the Underworld 

which one can assume is by Hermes and Charon pays him for it, thus side hustle

this doesn’t explain the sheer hesitance they both have discussing their ‘associate’ relationship

like Charon half threatens Zagreus with big boat boy anger if he brings up that the two know each other

and Charon’s a powerful ass bastard, son of a primordial, who has an extremely niche and important job.

whos he gunna get in trouble with?

what, is Hades gunna fire him?

so we establish hermes probably brings in the goods and charon sells them and then cuts him something in return

BUT THEN

Hermes implies he knows Zagreus is trying to get to his mom, which only denizens of the Underworld who are close to the House of Hades would know, and even then, its like five people

cause its a big time hush hush

which means he probably got that info straight from Charon as that’s the only person fitting that description he talks to who may know that information

which means they gossip, and Charon apparently tells his professional associate who is A GOD IN REGULAR CONTACT WITH THE OLYMPIANS a piece of information THAT THEY’RE TRYING TO KEEP SECRET FROM THE OLYMPIANS

he trust talky guy with big secret very good very ‘professional associate’

if Zagreus is wearing the Lucky Tooth and gets a boon from Hermes, Hermes will ask where he got it from and with this dialogue and the proceeding one from Skelly, it’s implied it’s originally from Skelly’s employer (who is Charon).

Which means Charon gave it to Skelly, who gives it to Zagreus which Hermes recognizes FOR SOME REASON

you know, professional associates recognizing teeth nbd

proceeding this, Hermes is like ‘shut the fuck bout it or our jig is up and Hades would be mad’

WHAT JIG 

CAUSE I DONT THINK HADES CAN STOP CHARON

HES THE BOATMAN

AND HES GOT MORE HEALTH THAN HADES

AND HES THE BOATMAN

(the jig is mostly about Charon enlisting Hermes specifically to help Zagreus, i get that, im here for that, im ignoring that)

I DIGRESS

if you buy Hermes boon in Charon’s shop he can have some choice lines

‘whaaa what haha why are my boons in Charon’s shop, must’ve been a mix up, don’t mention it to anyone haha i just deliver the dead lol crazy’

also he tells Zagreus to tell Charon hi which is like

dude

you drop off the dead

he ferries the dead

you two see each other

all the time

he can probably hear you right now

FUCK

sometimes when you leave Charon’s shop, Zagreus will cheekily ask the boatman to ‘say hey to Hermes for me’ 

Zag is on the D.L.

Zag is me 

the best one is when you get Zeus’s boon and Zeus comments about how Herme’s is running late and he can’t find him

which

i mean

so Olympian gods note in game that it’s easier to feel Zagreus when he makes it to the Temple of Styx

and some Underworld folk will say it’s harder to feel him at the same time

So a) gods can sus each other’s location out

and b) the gates and temple act as a sort of barrier making it difficult to discern where a god is depending on what side they’re on

which can only mean

hermes

you don’t gotta go that far into the Underworld to drop off the dead and illicit contraband

why you already past the point that your papa cannot find you?

and running behind to boot?

whatcha doing there, bud?

[ssurveycorpss]

X for the Veterans? Just like you did for the warriors, thanks ❤️

you got it nonnie! i havent uploaded anything in a while bc I Am Burnt Out from life so i hope this isnt garbage <33 i only wrote hanji, levi and erwin bc i wasnt sure if i should write like... rico, moblit, mike, the other dudes, but i can do them later if you ask?

alsoooo i have a lot of full fic drafts that i physically cannot work on bc im exhausted so you should send me letters for this hc game !!

hc game

tags: fluffy for the most part, not all romantic once again, modern au

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

levi ackerman:

ok this one is like really random but you know youtube/tiktok like asmr/aesthetic housework vlogs and videos? i feel like levi would take up making them. and all the comments would be full of people saying his house looks sterile and asking for cleaning tips lol. when he does his face reveal his follower count like triples and levi is just like "oh it must be the mopping hack i posted." and you just nod in agreement bc he was rlly proud of that one.

this is entirely me feeding into househusband levi au but he is apart of the neighborhood housewife association (even if he does work) and he is beloved by everyone in it bc he always offers to clean up and makes the best tea. even if he isnt a househusband hes still allowed to join because hes really useful even if he isnt good at socializing. like people could ask for cleaning tips and stuff and he will go really deep into details.

he doesnt like to drive. would rather take public transport, walk or ride his bike, or have you drive him everywhere. i think he has a license just in case but he avoids using it as much as possible. he gets really bad road rage and it just makes him really nervous (especially if theres other people in the car). he prefers sitting in the passenger seat next to you because its really calming and he feels sort of protected. since he cant take like the train to carry all the stuff he buys from the wholesale store for his teashop you guys block out a day of you driving him there so he can buy tea leaves and napkins. if you cant drive he gets erwin to take you both and you just end up doing the heavy lifting lol.

hanji zoe:

they are like equally the worst and best caretaker ever when you get sick. like they can tell you what you have (if its not life threatening) just by looking at you and can get you all the best home remedies and medicine but theyre really reckless. they make a mess in the kitchen when they make you soup and they hold you too close and end up catching whatever you have lol.

dont go to any sort of supermarket with them. actually dont run any errands with them. you will get so sidetracked it will be awful. but hanji doesnt realize that theyre distracting you from everything so they give you puppydog eyes when youre about to leave without them so they end up coming and by the time you get to the bank its closed because you had to stop by a stream and look at turtles. eventually you learn to just do your errands on days where theyre working.

falls asleep with their eyepatch on. you asked them why once and they said its just comfortable and they've gotten really used to it. so every morning they take it off to shower and they have red marks on their face from the elastic and they look rlly menacing lolol

erwin smith:

everyone says he is like a grandpa on social media and dont get me wrong i agree! but i think he is one of those corporate professionals that posts like really cringy motivational quotes on linkedin. connie and sasha make like burner accounts and comment stupid copypastas or troll underneath his posts in the comments and he just replies with "I'm sorry, I am a bit confused. Care to elaborate? Thank you, Erwin Smith" which makes them lose their fuckin minds they find it hilarious

good at pairing wine with certain dinners or cheeses. the man can appreciate cheeseboards. i feel like he holds fancy dinner parties or potlucks that many people only come to for good wine. when eren or jean need to take a fancy bottle for some occasion like meeting their s/o's parents or something he helps them pick something out. he also ties their ties and lends them cuff links. dad friend <3

ends up driving levi to run errands when levi's partner is not available. they hang out a lot so they kind of like coordinate times to go grocery shopping or get some new furniture together. they get mistaken for a couple a lot and when people ask if they are he just goes "No, I have a very beautiful partner who I love a lot!" and levi just rolls his eyes lol

[stjunebug]

daybreak happened sooo long ago but whatever i just remembered to do this LETS GO!!

okay so bug collector was the first one i thought of when trying to make this little list because like.. Idk the vibes are sooo your writing if that makes sense?? like even ignoring the lyrics, just the instrumental and the voice are just so soft and cozy and they just remind me of those moments in between the insane and thrilling plots of your stories! likeeeee when scribbles and izuku go and eat together and talk about normal stuff, when your widening sky mc and katsuki hang out and they make the two of them crowns out of clover and they are just chilling and comfortable and *at home* yknow? maybe not at home at home but at home with each other!!!!!! and also i literally cannot explain this part about the lyrics but there are specific words when put together in this song that i associate with you its like my brain is playing pinterest with words… like “there’s a centipede naked in your bedroom” which is like whatever bugs yknow and centipedes dont wear clothes of course my little bro is naked and this was my first thought when i listened to this song but the more i think about it if you just said naked centipede in one of your fics i would have been like yeah. Yeah! naked centipede that makes sense -- its just a collage of words that remind me of you vaguely… the VIBES!!! “to scoop the slugger out the window” “a priest from a past life out to getcha” “to put the priest inside a jam jar” “staring with a vengeance” “to prove that nothing’s out to getcha” its literally word pinterest im sorry i cant dissect my thoughts these are just the way they are. WE MOVE ON!

OH MY GOD NOT ME BY PEACH PIT IS SUCH A GOOD SONG I LITERALLY LOVE THE GUITAR IN THIS if the guitar sounds in this were a girl i would kiss her so hard on the mouth you do not understand. Um this is definitely more sjlt coded for me cause! cause. i think it sort of makes sense for scribbles personality and just the way they react to things when things go topsy turvy… like “oh it cant help to know i wont stop feeling wrecked / im all alone because im never one to do / i guess its best to keep from locking eyes with you” the way they isolate themself and ignore problems when they happen to their relationships . this part too “i want something always, more or less than what I have / could be nothing but ill fuck off” ESP THE FUCK OFF PART LIKE! i havent read sjlt in a hot minute so i might be tripping expeditiously but isnt that what they do really? instead of trying to mend things with people they just Fuck Off yknow? either that or i totally made shit up about sjlt and i definitely am psychotic.

OKAY OKAY OKAY LAST BUT NOT LEAST -- walk you home by sir chloe THIS SONG IS SOOOO MERMS I LOVE THIS SONG ITS SO GOOD. i think its the details for me with this one because your writing is just so beautiful and it captures details about the mcs lives that literally i do not catch about mine?? LMFAO. honestly your writing helped me to be more aware of my surroundings and just appreciate small details more yknow like stupid details i would have definitely made fun of in middle school like. the way the sun hits my clear lip oil bottle is sort of like one of those little prisms that when you shine light through a little rainbow comes out? its sort of like that but a rainbow doesnt come out but i can see the white sunlight bleed into colors in the oil before it fades out cause it cant get fully through the bottle like it can through a prism and its soo pretty and i just appreciate that little detail so much its crazy and i dont think i would have given an eff about it at all if i hadnt read your writing man -- ill be thinking about even the texture of my shirt sometimes or the way my cats tail curls a little like a fish hook sometimes and its just little details that i have come to enjoy and contemplate that i would not have before!! and i think there are little details in this song that also just remind me of an mc you maybe wrote in some parallel universe? (the psychosis is setting in but HEAR ME OUT) just the details seem like stuff i might see in your writing and i could be totally insanely wrong but anyway let me share “faded lips, red /  down your chin, bled when you watched him go” “just a pretty girl with a shot glass / in your sunday dress and coat” “subway fly by / on the green line, no one does you harm” “just a pretty girl with a shot glass / in your mother’s borrowed shoes” anyway fank you for coming to my ted talk!

if you had to name three songs that captured what you liked to write, could you do it? i mean like—three songs that capture what you write. the stuff you try to do with your words. ok. let’s say you can. can you name three songs that capture what someone else writes? 👁️ what changes? of course naming songs for someone else’s work is gonna be harder—you’re filtering what you’re taking away from their pieces through your own bias, your own taste in music. but would it tell the same story, if they lined up the songs they picked for themselves with the songs you picked for them? would it be the same for you?

[seancekitsch]

Out of the Rain: a Marko x Reader fic

Warnings: bloodplay goes without saying bc vamp, rough sex, dirty talk, semi public sex, telepathy?? me projecting my music taste on this fic again. drug use, fast and loose use of vampire lore bc when i write i am god and u cannot stop me. also can u tell i have like…. v clear descriptions of the setting like i used to work at the place im describing but its not in california

No one had come in for hours. What's the point of staying open? You dim some of the lights in the store, which is one of three head shops in Santa Carla, but the only one open late. You're not really sure why this is the only store that stays open, why everyone else if worried about the three am walk back to their car on a weekend night. You've never seen anything of suspicion, just sometimes that biker gang watches people shuffle out. That was almost comforting, though. People didn't like those guys, so no one would make you use your switchblade if they were around.

The bright while fluorescent lights of your typical daytime ambiance faded away, and now green light bathes you in the “mood” lighting your boss thought was a good idea. The green lighting reflects off of the glass counters, shining it back at the ceiling and making everything that much more green. It fits, you think with the overall vibe of the store. The stale scent of weed, gently and miserably covered up by some nag champa incense, always burning in at least four different spots within the store. You'd long since gotten used to the smoke in your eyes. The music does everything to add to the ambiance. You always have full control of the music in the shop, usually because no one else is willing to take the night shift in Santa Carla. In fact, most of the boardwalk shops had a revolving door of night shift workers. You never got why, something clearly spooks them that does not spook you. Whether that makes you brave or stupid, you dont know. Jefferson Airplane’s Surrealistic Pillow pumps through the speakers in the store. But I suppose no one knows, you're my plastic fantastic lover.

The rain batters the boardwalk outside, a roar much different than the typical hustle and bustle of drunk teens, of the cliques and crews that come in and out; the few that sit and snicker in the doorway, never entering. Some too afraid to be associated with the implication of being spotted in the shop. We sell jewelry and vinyl too, you always say, when they balk at the idea of being in the same room as a bong or incense.

But then there's the other group that stands and idles in the threshold, also not entering. It's that biker gang. Four guys, a girl, a kid. Maybe he’s the brat of the girl and the one who takes himself too seriously, but maybe not. She looks too young for that. They'd been hovering around quite a bit lately, always after dark. You’d spoken to them, at least the ones that are talkative. The hair metal wannabe and the cute short one. Paul and Marko. You knew the dark haired one was Dwayne, but all he ever offered you was a curt nod and a tight lipped smile, respectful but indifferent. They're nice, not worth the spooky reputation they have. Any time it's not just you at the shop, your boss tries to spook them away. Good thing your boss isn't here tonight, because one of them is prowling around the storefront in the rain. That is, if it's not your spliff induced haze playing tricks on you.

No, one of them is out there. Without his little pack. The cute one. Marko.

You walk over to the door, which you haven't had propped open since the rain trickled in as a drizzle at the beginning of your shift. At least he had enough sense to be huddling under the awning. Fuck, he’s handsome even when he looks like a drowned rat.

“What are you doing out here?” You scrunch up your nose as you ask.

“Y’know, waiting for you to show up.” Wanted a look at that cute ass.

You blink at him. Did he really just say that?

“Okay… well, you know it's raining out there, right?”

“I might,” he offers noncommittally, eyeing the spliff still in the hand that's not holding the door. If it were anyone but him, you'd probably get fired for it.

Why is he just hanging around out here? That's hella weird. His curls are getting matted to his forehead, slick with rain, his jacket starting to look a little sad.

“C’mon in, Marko. It’s too wet out here. You’ll fuck up your jacket.” You nod towards the interior of the shop holding the door open as he passes you.

Wrong move, sweet cheeks.

“What did you say?” What did he mean, wrong move?

“I didn't say anything,” he offers nonchalantly as he thumbs at one of the tapestries on the wall. A garish mess that’s supposed to be the worm from Alice in Wonderland, but it’s distorted by a botched tie dye job of dark muddy colors. Every time you look at it, you assume one of the day workers did it.

“No, you said something.”

“Do you want me to say something?” there's both a threat and an innuendo in his tone. Maybe you do, but you just laugh, a sharp exhale through your nose, and bring the spliff to your lips again as he follows you deeper into the store.

You jump up onto the counter next to the ash tray, easy reach for each time you need to ash.

“So why are you really here?” your eyes narrow at him, kicking your sandal off on the floor where it lands a few inches from his boots. He looks uneasy in the space, like for all the wild shit you assume he’s into, he might not actually belong in it. He sways a little to the music, perfectly in tune with the rhythm. You sway along too, and suddenly he fills the space like he belongs. He just needed someone along for the ride with him.

“Do you ever come around during the day, or just at night because I’m so fun?” You’re teasing him, but it’s a nice easy feeling between you.

“Not really a sun guy,” bullshit, he would look beautiful with a tan, “but I do drag everyone here just to see you.”

“Awww, all for me? Do you have a crush, Marko?”

It’s more than that. You hear the words clearly, but his smile doesn’t move. You kick the other sandal off.

“I can hear you, I don’t know how, but I can. I bet you can hear me too.”

I can. You’re wrong about the tan thing.

You straighten up, mind clearing as you blurt out your next question. Something absolutely stupid.

“So what are you, a vampire or something?” he laughs at you, but his big toothy smile doesn't reach his eyes. No, there's something predatory, extremely dark in his eyes. Otherworldly.

How could you guess?  

“Well, that for one big fucking clue.” You ash the spliff for the final time, leaving the roach in the tray. You would think you’d be more surprised, more upset that you just found out vampires were real, and that you were in the same room as one. You have to say, weirder things are probably afoot in Santa Carla. Murder capital of the world can’t all be from some rowdy teens and a ten year old.

“You do those surf nazis?” is all that leaves your mouth. You kind of hope it was. They were the fucking worst. Racist, misogynistic, destructive. You’d had to threaten them a few times to leave your store on your shift.

“The—? Oh! Surf nazis. Yeah that was us. Ate a few of them.”

“Good for you. I mean— murder. bad. But they were nazis, and now they’re dead. so…” you trail off. Not really sure what to say next, but then you keep going. Remember everything you know about Marko.

“No, no I mean, it makes sense. Right? You and the guys only hang around at night. Aren’t vampires solitary hunters though? I don’t remember Dracula being in a frat.”

“They’re my pack. We take care of each other.” He says it with such fondness and devotion.

You feel a pang of jealousy run through you. You work alone for the most part, live alone, you’ve got friends but they’re all over the place. He belongs to something.

“And you're down with this?” he’s legitimately asking. You nod. You don't really have a choice, you're down or you get eaten, but like genuinely you are down with it. If he was going to eat you, he probably would have by now. There's probably a reason they've been hanging around the store, and in your sightline while you close up. You're putting things together.

“Like really?”

“Well, you haven't made me a kebab yet.”

He shrugs, frowns.

“Could still skewer you on something.”

Laughter erupts from your lips while you roll your eyes, music to Marko’s ears. This is why he took a shine to you, it's easy to get along with you, and you're not one of his brothers.

Something heavy falls in the room, and it's not the haze of the incense. He steps towards you, big blue eyes raking over your body, but always coming back to meet your gaze. He closes the space between you, easily fitting between your thighs; the rough patches of his jacket brushing against your bare skin where your shorts ride up. He leans in, like he's about to kiss you, and against all better judgement, you're going to let him.

You're going to let him.

The record skips. He holds out his hand, more like a gentleman than a biker gang killer, and helps you off the counter.

“Hold on, let me pick out a new record,” you turn without waiting for his confirmation, not at all surprised when Marko follows hot on your heels to the back room. Your boss’ office, the record room. Whatever you wanted to call it. His hands ghost over your arms as you push past the wooden bead curtain to enter the room. You can feel his presence close enough to touch. That's it, right where I want you. There’s his voice again.

He lets you actually pick out a new record. You slide it out of the sleeve and walk it over to the player. The static buzzes and pops as the needle finds the groove.

“Ocean Rain, you heard it?” No. He shakes his head, and you can feel it as he leans into your back.

“Echo and the Bunnymen. They've got a new album coming out this year.”

You turn to face him and his fingerless leather glove clad hands cover your cheeks.

He kisses you gently, tenderly. Not at all the way you’d expect. He’s eager, kissing like there’s something to prove. He licks his way into your mouth, tongue pushing your lips apart and you let him. His arms tighten around you as you kiss, tongues now greeting each other playfully. Your tongue explores his mouth, running along each and every tooth in his mouth. Huh, no fangs, you realize, and maybe he isn't actually a vampire. As if he reads your mind (maybe he does), he pulls away.

“They're, uh, hiding,’ he nods, almost to himself more than you. You nod as well, slow and uneasy, not quite believing him, but he pulls you back into a harsh kiss, more of what you expected. His hands roam your body as yours bury themselves in his curls. Still damp, but long and beautiful just as well. He shrugs the jacket off his shoulders, and his hands only briefly leave you to throw it and his gloves somewhere else, leaving him just in a thin white tank top. His mouth leaves yours to trail lower, kissing your neck. Your pulse point. Fucking irresistable. No, that's definitely his voice. Is this the end? Could be.

“I can smell you, hot stuff,” he moans into your ear, sending shivers down your spine. You find yourself gripping onto his shoulders a little tighter, but he lets you sink. He guides you, again more gently than you thought he would; bare knees brushing the threadbare carpet floor before you plant yourself. You look up at him through your lashes and he all but bites back a groan.

“You gonna join me down here?” You lick your lips, waiting for something.

“Nah, I’m gonna let you have a head start,” there's a joke in his tone. You're learning that’s normal for him. He’s silent, or playing jester. It’ll be interesting when you let him fuck you. Shit, did he hear that?

“Quit thinkin’ so loud!” he runs an affectionate hand through your hair. “But yes, I heard you. Glad you're as eager as I am.”

That's encouraging. You take your time undoing his belt, connected to faded and soft leather chaps, not bothering to push them down his thighs before you move to the top of his jeans, teasing your fingers at the skin just above the waistline. He shudders under your touch, extremely reactive. Does he get touched like this often? Or is it just quick fucks? You don't want to think about who else he might be doing this with, focusing again on his body, and all of the offending clothing covering it. You unbutton them slowly, teasing. For a member of the undead, he seems to be out of breath under your movements. The zipper is pulled down just as slowly. You run your palms flat along the bottom of his stomach, to his hips before pushing his jeans down to around his ankles, hooking his boxers on your finger along with them. He’s beautiful, and you can help but stare. Hard, eager, and thick, greeting you with a small trimmed patch of golden blonde curls. You wrap your hand around the base.

You never expected a vampire to whimper, but that's exactly what happens when your tongue darts out of your mouth to lick the head of his cock. Quick, tentative little lick, testing the waters. Your tongue swipes across the slit at the tip of his thick member and his hands animate like you flipped a switch, rising up, going to your hair, rising up again, slamming down against the desk. Your boss’ desk. You lick a long stripe to the underside of his cock, paying close attention to the prominent vein there.

“So good, so good, oh you feel so-” he pants out, hands white knuckling the edge of the desk. Heat pools in your core, loving that he’s so vocal. Fuck, if he could just keep speaking. Your other hand moves to your shorts, sloppily and hastily undoing them and wiggling them down to your knees. You wrap your lips around the head of his cock and sink down on it, taking him as far as you can, until you couch when he hits the back of your throat.

“You look fucking beautiful like that. Please move, Please move, you’re so fucking good at this.”

You do, starting to bob your head up and down on the length of him, hollowing out your cheeks and flattening your tongue against him, cupping and massaging his balls in your hand. Your free finds itself between your legs, rubbing gently at your clit, stirred and encouraged by his praise.

“Does sucking me off get you hot and bothered?” Yesitdoes.

You keep bobbing your head, rubbing your clit, eyes trained on his until his eyes squeeze shut. His cock twitches in your mouth.

“Don't wanna- don't wanna finish in your mouth,” he’s urgent, grabbing you by the chin and pulling your mouth off of his cock. He pushes you back by your shoulders, letting you guide yourself back to lay on the rug. He pulls your loose shorts easily off your legs and settles himself between your legs, too eager to bother with removing his boots and everything.

“I’ve been wanting to do this for so long. Do you know how bad I wanted this?”

“Fuck me, Marko, dont say it. Just do it,” youre breathless under him, wanting nothing more than for him to be fucking you. He pauses.

“I dunno…” his thumb swipes up along your clit, drawing a whine from your throat, “For some reason I think you like it when I say things.”

You nod, knowing words will fail you. And he gives you what you want, lining himself up and sinking into you, groaning as he buries his head into the crook of your neck.

“Oh I knew your pussy would feel like fucking heaven,” he pants against your neck, pressing a harsh kiss to the underside of your jaw. He sets the pace quickly, unmerciful and fast, fucking hard and deep into you. His hands push up your thin tee shirt, and you can feel his sigh of relief when he gets a handful of bare breast. He doesn't have to deal with a bra tonight. You hike your knees up, opening yourself as much as you can to him, wanting him to fill you to the brim. He looks into your eyes while he fucks you, which comes as a surprise to you. Maybe it shouldn't. You wonder what it would be like to be a victim of his. Does he treat them well? Have fun with them like this? Or is he vicious? You don't know if you could picture him like that… vamped out.

“What does it feel like?”

“What?” he thrusts sharply, snapping his hips into you, making you yelp.

“To be fed on, but not to die.”

Are you serious? You hear him in your head.

YesIam. He thrusts like that again, earning an identical yelp, now coupled with your thighs squeezing him around the middle. You're close already, and he can tell.

He nods, a question; You nod, confirmation.

He pulls at the neckline of your shirt, already scooping so it doesn’t ruin, and exposes your shoulder. Somewhere non lethal. His other hand comes up to grip your jaw, covering your neck but being careful not to squeeze it. You hope he bruises your jaw, you realize. A physical way to feel him when dawn comes. He slows his pace to a rocking, grinding into you, staying deep.

Then he bites. Stars erupt behind your eyes, and it feels like your blood has turned to seltzer. Every nerve in your body is in overdrive as you moan and shake and come undone around his cock. You're the kind of girl that comes from the bite of a vampire, apparently. He doesn’t let up. You can faintly hear him moaning against the open wound in your shoulder, and you hope you taste good to him. He licks the wound a few times more, softly, carefully, like he’s trying to soothe you when he finally lets you come down from your high.

When he pulls back to let you see him, his features are gruesome, full vampire with sharp brows and cheekbones, pointed nose even that much more so almost birdlike. Fangs and bottom half of his face covered in blood.Your blood.  He’s panting like an animal after the kill. But he doesn't scare you. Maybe he should, but he doesn't.  It's just Marko, no matter what, and if he wanted to eat you he would have. Several times now. His hand finally releases your jaw, to wipe the blood from his face. He wipes his hand then on your face, covering you in your own blood, hot on his fingers and palm.

“Fuckin sexy,” he pants, voice deeper and distorted. His thrusts speed up, trying to find his own release as your nails dig into his back, maybe making him bleed as well. You feel the rug burn forming on your back, you feel tears in your eyes. It's never felt this good with other guys.

When he comes, he comes with a howl, buried deep inside you as he shouts and shivers then stills above you. Your chest is heaving, trying to regain yourself as his face slowly fades to normal, and he slumps down on top of you. He buries his face in the crook of your neck, near the wound he tore open, now no longer bleeding. He mouths at any bare skin he can find, lazy half kisses as he spreads more mess and blood on you. Your fingers find his curls again, winding them around your digits as you stare up at the sickly green mood lighting bathing the walls of the room.

An hour later, Marko is helping you lock up early.

He makes sure to dump out all of the ashes from spliffs and incense, makes sure the vinyl is all in its right place while you make sure the register and inventory is all in its rightful place and order.

“You’re dangerous, you know.”

“Me?” you scoff, “That rich, coming from you.”

I’d do a lot of things I’m not supposed to for you. You kinda don't want to ask him what he means by that. For some reason that feels like a conversation you shouldn't have tonight. 

He leaves the store before you, holding the door open for you and letting you lock the doors. He slings an easy arm over your shoulder, not bothering to shield either of you from the rain as he steers you towards your car. You can feel the rain cleaning your face, the blood flowing away and saving you the shower you were going to take before collapsing into bed tonight.

“Where’s your bike?”

“I flew here,” he says with that devilish smile, and you're really not sure if he's joking or not. Your arm sneaks its way into his jacket and wraps around his waist, holding him close as he makes sure you get home same. Marko makes you feel calm, in a way you didn't feel before you moved to Santa Carla. How long had he been waiting to make his move? And does this mean he and his brothers would be coming around more often? Maybe being more friendly towards you. Each step towards your car feels heavy; You don't want to go home alone without him, but somehow you know he won't come with you. 

“Will I see you again?”

He grabs your car keys from your hand, and sticks them in the door handle. Of course you will.

Right. You just have to be near the beach at night. You know, where you work.

He kisses you full on the mouth, holding you close and tight, like you could slip away at any second. When he finally lets you go you pull away to be met with his face, full on grinning, his eyes still closed from the kiss. He doesn't look like a killer.

Marko watches you as you pull open the door to your car and more or less throw your ass into the seat.  He holds the door as he gives you one last smile, and says:

“You know, you should never invite a vampire into your life. Renders you powerless.”

And he winks.