#which i am cause i know theres no ill will behind it. im unfortunately still female presenting so its easy mistake to make

[todayisafridaynight]

I’m fairly new to the fandom, but I do have a question if you can answer it! Why do people ship Daigo with Aoki / Masato? I tried looking to see if they’ve interacted before, but couldn’t find anything! Sorry for asking I’m just </3 dumb AND I LOVE YOUR ART OF THEM!!! Nerd looking ahhhhhh

hi ! welcome to the community i hope you're having a lovely time so far and ty for enjoyin my stuff :) no need for apologies it's a very fair question to have :]

i cant speak for everyone (all. ten people into masadai anyway) but Personally To Me i just think the idea of them together is very funny. thats quite literally it im afraid..

[all-hail-the-witcher]

ahem *dan howell voice* hello internet, i did something i n c r e d i b l y   stewpid”

guys i just had the absolute worst showering experience of my entire life

tw: blood, me being an idiot, showers, shaving razors, general dumbassery, the loss of my fucking dignity.

let me set the scene. its 8:25pm. i am in the bathroom about to shower. my sister is downstairs, heating up pot pies for us to eat for dinner while we scream at arrow (yes we are eating dinner at 9pm, yes i know thats not good, no i dont care, were home alone theres no one to yell at us.) 

i open up youtube to pull up a song to listen to while im showering. and then my friend texts me that she found my blog, as in This Blog (which i explicitly told her not to do but whatever i guess), and im like o shit. but i didn't have time to deal with it because, well, dinner was being heated up, and i needed to shower and my sister was yelling at me to shower, so i was like aright whatever ill deal with it when i get out of the shower. 

oh boy was i in for it.

i get in the shower. im jammin to some t swift. and i go to pick up the razor to shave cause i want to wear a skirt tomorrow and you know. but in my carelessness i knocked over the bottle of body wash (which was OPEN) and it landed outside of the shower behind the toilet. and knocked over the plunger. and there was water and soap all over the floor. so i try to pick up the plunger and the soap but the plunger was stuck in the shower curtain and it fell over again and got more soap and water all over the floor. which i will inevitably have to clean. 

so i finally start shaving and i was you know, going quickly because dinner and of course i accidentally managed to cut myself. and as anyone who has cut themselves while shaving will know, it bleeds like someone just stabbed you. which was, given my situation, rather unfortunate. 

but since that was the first leg i was shaving i somehow managed to forget that i had cut myself by the time i got out of the shower. so i got blood All Over the mat that was on the floor. and i mean like, all fucking over it. and now im pretty annoyed cause theres still water and soap all over the floor and im bleeding everywhere and my phone is blaring a youtube commercial about t mobile and sprint and i was like “of course”

so i run into my room and get a bandaid and then go back to the bathroom to clean up the water and the soap and the blood and the mat and all that. and then after im done i look down and realize that i had decided to bleed through the fucking bandaid and now theres blood all over the floor again!!

by this time my sister had come upstairs cause she wanted to know what was taking so long and i was like “W E L L” and she took one look at the mess and was like “im going to finish my youtube video.”

so then instead of putting a new bandaid on and getting more blood everywhere i decided to just shove a bunch of medical tape onto of the one i already had on. im a dancer i have literally 8 different rolls of medical tape for blisters and shit, but since id moved back in from college id thrown most of my tape god knows where and could only find a roll of paper tape and of course that roll decided to not want to rip cleanly and i ended up accidentally ripping off four layers at once.

and by the time i finally trapped all the blood under the bandaid and cleaned up the fucking bathroom dinner was ready and my sister still hadn't showered.

in conclusion, i now understand exactly what dan howell said when he said “just when you feel like you know how much of a disaster you are, just when you feel like you know how much you can flop in one day, something like this will happen and put you back in your place.” 

anyway my sleeves are soaked, theres enough tape on my ankle to fix the electoral college and im fucking starving. 

[alicedoessurveys]

VERY long survey

Where have you lived throughout your life? 

Birmingham UK

Do you find your job rewarding? 

N/A

What kind of cake did you have for your last birthday? 

chocolate

To you, which is better: English muffins or bagels? 

I enjoy both, but bagels.

Do you paint your nails? 

yes. although they're not painted at the moment because ive been cleaning the house so much the past couple days and its stripped my varnish off

What’s the last website you signed up for? 

a dating thing

Do you check your email everyday? 

yes, I cant stand having the little red number above the mail app 

Have you created any pages on Facebook?

yes but I dont have them anymore

Is there a subject that you absolutely suck at? 

every subject, but especially maths and science 

What’s your favourite song by Dave Matthews Band? 

I dont know any 

Are there people you have absolutely nothing in common with, but still enjoy talking to? 

I dot particularly enjoy talking to anyone :’)

Have you ever wandered around drunk with your friend? 

yes, we wondered around through the middle of Birmingham at 4am 

Are you good at holding back your laughter if needed? 

haha nope

Have you ever been so unfortunate to suffer from a hangover?

yes

Have you ever had a panic attack? 

many, I had to drop out of college because of them 

Are you deathly allergic to anything? 

nope

Have you ever had a mouse in your house? 

nope

Do you know anyone who DOESN’T have an ex? 

myself 

Is anyone you know really religious? 

my family

Are your eyebrows naturally thick? 

yes

Has speaking in front of people ever made you sick? 

not physically sick, but definitely felt it. the worst experience Ive had with speaking was in college when I had to give a speech then teach a 10 minute class. my throat totally dried up and I literally couldnt speak. everyone just stared at me and I was trying so hard not to cry. longest 10 minutes of my life and as soon as it finished I legged it out the room and burst into tears. 

What was the last movie that made you teary-eyed? 

Mary Poppins Returns almost got me but the last film to actually make me cry was Coco. That shit had me SOBBING!

Have you had two friends that absolutely hated each other? 

yes 

Has a laptop ever burned your legs? 

not really, I put a cushion on my lap normally

Do you know anyone who has a scar through their eyebrow?

no

Who was the last person to flip you off? 

probably rhys, as a joke

Anyone’s birthday coming up soon? 

my dad turns 50 next week

Would you ever wear fake eyelashes? 

I have done a few times but they annoy me

Are you good at following directions? 

no no no I get confused very easily

Do you have someone that you can just act a fool with and not care? 

yes rhys 

From where you’re sitting, can you touch a wall? 

if I reach behind me 

When at a restaurant, do you put your napkin on your lap? 

occasionally, it depends where I am and what im eating 

Do you prefer electric or manual pencil sharpeners? 

manual 

Are your biceps at all noticeable? 

they used to be before they went into hiding under a layer of fat 

Have you ever seen a walrus? 

nope

When it comes to dropping food, do you believe in the 10 second rule? 

no, I believe in the ‘what food is it’ and ‘how dirty is the floor’ rules

If given the opportunity, would you ride on a camel? 

yes. I was supposed to have gone on a camel ride in Tunisia ages ago but I was ill so we didn't get to go 

Do you believe that cellphones actually do cause cancer?

they could be. the number of people getting cancer has gone up a lot since everyone has mobile phones 

When people you know cry, does it make you feel like crying too? 

depends who it is 

Do you tend to jump to conclusions? 

yes. Im an anxious person so im constantly overthinking and I also find people really hard to read and can get

Are you good at remembering your friends’ birthdays? 

yes my brain cant remember important things but when it comes to dates its like a sponge 

Is there something you need to do, that you’re trying to avoid doing? 

getting a job

Ever pop someone else’s pimple? 

ew no

How long does it take you to fall asleep? 

about 15 minutes depending on how tired I am 

Do you crack your neck often?

no that freaks me out 

Did you have a weird dream last night? 

not that I can remember, I have been having a lot of weird dreams this week because im ill

Who do you sometimes compare yourself to? 

everyone. especially when im at the theatre, im constantly watching other people and wishing I could act like they can or look like them or have their style 

Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things? 

both

In what way are you your own worst enemy? 

every way, I dont look after myself at all 

What activities make you lose track of time? 

sims

When you help someone do you ever think, “What’s in it for me?” 

not really 

Who do you tell your secrets to? 

these surveys 

Who do you live with? 

my parents and our foster kids 

When did/will you graduate? 

I didn't 

When are you moving next? 

I have no idea. probably never 

When is the last time you took a vitamin? 

this morning, im fighting a cold 

Why are you stressed? 

im not too bad right now tbh

Do you need to return anyone’s phone call? 

nope

Where do you keep your birth certificate? 

no clue, my mom has it somewhere 

How many books are in your room?

a lot. I have quite a few on display and a whole bunch hidden away in my closet because theres no space for them anywhere else. I'll include some photos of the books in my room;

(the book on my bedside table in the second picture is actually a lamp that lights up when you open it)

Have you ever been IN a wedding? 

nope

What was the last thing you laughed out loud at?

probably my mom 

Do you have a nickname? Why? 

my family call my bongy or Ali bong, I dont know why.. (my name is Alice)

Have you ever had a bad concert experience? 

nope

When was the last time someone told you that you were beautiful/good-looking? Do people often tell you this? 

my mom tells me almost every day but Im like youre my mom of course you would say that 

Are you missing someone of the opposite sex atm? 

no

Want someone back in your life? 

meh

Are you currently sad about anything? 

actually nope

Are you wearing anything shiny? 

my pj top has glittery silver letters on

How important is a sense of humor in a significant other? 

very, I fall very easily for people who make me laugh

How many followers do you have on Twitter? 

198 (@alicethenerd if ya wanna follow 😉)

Do you sleep with the door open or closed? 

closed. I aint about letting those murderers and monsters just waltz straight in easy peasy 

Have you ever been to the beach? 

yes every summer since I was a kid 

Can you handle blood? 

nope

Do you pay your bills or do your parents?

I pay my own bills. no way my dad would be up for paying my bills, he already digs at me constantly about the fact that I live rent free even though I look after the foster kids and tidy the house more than he does

What’s your best friend’s middle name? 

Connor

Has any place hired you underage for a job? 

not officially

Have you ever barely passed a grade/year in school? 

yes

Have you ever carried a concealed weapon? 

no

Have you ever tried to sell something overpriced to someone? 

no

Do you plan to become very wealthy some day? 

I hope to become wealthy enough to not worry about having enough money to put fuel in my car anymore and to be able to pay back my parents and grandad for everything they've done for me 

Do you remember your first time going to the movies? 

no, but my earliest cinema memory was going to watch Monsters Inc with my dad when it was first released 

Does eating breakfast make you sick? 

if I try to eat before a certain time yes

Are you dying to say something to someone right this minute?

not dying to nope

Book series you enjoyed reading recently? 

im reading eve of man atm which apparently is going to be a series

Do you enjoy lying in the grass during the summer, and just existing? 

I prefer lying on a blanket, I dont like the feel of grass and I dont like the bugs crawling around 

Do you have a passport? If so, how many stamps do you have in it? 

yes, it doesn't have many stamps in because I lost the one that did have lots in and I havent been away much since getting the new one 

Are there any keys on your keyboard that have letters fading away? 

nope

Do any of your close friends have children? 

no

What do you plan on having for dinner?

we already had dinner, we had chippy

Do you like Chinese food, or do you find it disgusting? 

I only really like one meal 

Have the police ever come knocking on your door looking for someone? 

actually yes, literally a few weeks ago

Know anybody who works in a tattoo parlor? 

yes, my second cousin 

Have you ever played flashlight tag?

ive never heard of it

Could you call yourself a movie buff?

not really, im a huge movie fan but theres still a lot I need to see 

Have you ever had a piercing get infected?

never had a piercing 

Do you check your fire alarms when you’re supposed to? 

dad does it

Are you a shorts wearing kind of person? 

nope nope nope, my legs are not suitable for public viewing :’)

Is your grandparents’ house obsessively tidy?

not really no. my nan and grandpa’s house is always neat but not obsessively neat. my grandads house is full of clutter because my nan was a hoarder 

About how much can you bench press? 

I dont know, I havent lifted in years 

Have you ever had your phone die on you in the middle of a conversation? 

yes

Is anybody in your family a carpenter? 

no

Are you avoiding someone? 

yes

Do you call your boyfriend “Monkey”? 

I dont have a boyfriend but if I did I doubt id call him monkey

What’s your favorite primary color? 

yellow #hufflepuffpride

What were you for Halloween? 

nothing, I didn't dress up 

Do you have any clothes from Walmart? 

nope, we dont have Walmart here

When did you get a Facebook? 

about 10 years ago 

What color are your eyes? 

green/hazel

What motivates you? 

happiness

Can you walk in heels? 

nope

When was the last time someone asked you your age? 

the other day, my own mother forgot how old I was

Do you keep a journal? 

not really

Have you ever tried a weird flavor of vodka? 

never had vodka

Do you wear a ring on your finger? 

occasionally

What are you doing? 

watching ‘the greatest dancer’ and wondering if this survey is ever going to end 

What’s the last kind of soup you ate?

tomato 

Do you currently have a sunburn?

no. its winter

Who did you last text? 

my sister

Who’d you last call? About what? 

my mom, to ask her to come downstairs and let the dogs out because the baby was asleep on me and there was no way I was going to risk waking her up

Are you currently frustrated with someone? 

yes

Do you drink water or soda more often? 

water

Do you straighten your hair?

yes

When did you last talk to your brother or sister? 

today

What is your least favorite vegetable? 

all of them

Outside of family, name 3 people that make you smile/laugh often. 

Rhys, Addison, Jacob

In school, what subjects did you achieve your highest grades in? 

IT

Was there a subject that you enjoyed, but weren’t too good at? 

I didn't really enjoy any subjects at school

When was the last time something didn’t go to plan? What happened? 

today. I had planned to deep clean the bathroom but I went super dizzy and had to give up half way through cleaning 

Do you have any children? If not, at what age do you think you’ll feel ready to be a parent? 

I dont but I am seriously considering adopting one of our foster babies atm. I want to adopt anyway, theres no way I could be pregnant 

When was the last time you bought a new item of clothing?Describe it. 

I honestly cant remember, im due a shopping trip

Was your last Facebook friend request from a male or female?

female

Do you have an item of clothing that makes you feel especially beautiful? Describe it. 

not really no

Think of the last person that betrayed you. If they said they were sorry, would you forgive them? 

I would cautiously forgive him but I would also make sure he knew that how he treated me was not okay and that he really upset me and this would be his last chance. but tbh I think hes done with me so 🤷🏻‍♀️

Nastiest thing you’ve ever done? 

I dont know, I dont like being nasty

Have you ever been in a lighthouse? 

nope

What colour is your shower? 

I think its silver, ive ever actually noticed

Where do you order your pizza from?

dominos

When is the last time you had a serious talk with someone?

few days ago 

Do you find that you have a certain meal you eat every time you go to certain restaurants? 

yes, im a creature of habit

What colour is your bike?

silver & purple

What word can you not stand to hear people say? 

the c word, I cant even type it

What room of your house are you in? 

living room 

What is the temperature in your city right now? 

9°c

When did you last use a post-it-note?

last week in the script for the show im currently working on 

Would you ever want to own your own restaurant? 

yes

Do you have a fan in your bedroom? 

no I dont like them, they make too much noise 

Who is the last person that you took a picture with? 

one of our foster kids 

When is the last time you were stuck in a fairly long traffic jam?

the weekend before christmas 

Do you have certain friends that you hug every time you see them? 

not many

When was your most recent trip to an aquarium? 

almost two years ago 

What do you like in your salads and what dressing do you prefer? 

I dont like salads

If it has one, do you ever use the notepad function in your phone? 

all the time, Im constantly writing lists or reminders to myself 

How good would you say your memory is?

long term good, short term bad

About how many times during the night do you wake up from your sleep? 

a few times

Are there any air fresheners in your house? What kinds? 

multiple, we have plugs in and sprays and those automatic ones that go off every 15 minutes 

What’s one thing you’re glad you’ve done recently?

done my laundry :’) im on my last pair of pants!

Have you ever done something sexual that you regret? 

no

Do you like to sit in the sun and tan when it’s hot out? 

not really, I dont like being too hot

Ever had a person who was obsessed with you so much that it scared you? 

no

Can you drive, and if you can, do you like it? 

yes, I love driving most of the time 

Have you ever said anything to the last person you kissed that you regret? 

no

Do you like french fries?

yes

Have you ever eaten so much you puked?

not since I was a kid 

Do you care about what others think of your physical appearance? 

annoyingly yes

Would you rather go to Greece or France?

greece

[curly-q-reviews]

FLIX FROM THE NET

Bird Box, 2018 (dir. Susanne Bier)

SPOILER WARNING THERE WILL BE SPOILERS DONT READ IF U HAVENT SEEN IT YET AND WANT TO

[TW: SUICIDE, MURDER, VIOLENCE, BLOOD, GORE]

well fuck its been a while!!  happy new year y’all hope u had a Fun and Safe time!!!  i for one was at a party where we started playing Shrek at exactly 10:39 PM to see if Smash Mouth’s hit song I’m a Believer started playing right at midnight and to my utter disbelief and elation it did!!!  move over times square ball drop a new arbitrary way of celebrating the start of a new calendar year is here and it involves a large green monster with a scottish accent who really loves his onions (#me am i right ladies)

WELL ANYWAY heres a fun new series ive been thinking of starting cause ya girl watches a lot of netflix movies and has many opinions about them.  i think i’ll do a separate post about the whole Netflix Original Film trend in general and how its changed the film industry at a later date but since i just watched the above movie not too long ago i wanted to get all my thoughts out there right fuckin now!!

netflix is without a doubt the OG king of streaming services, they were really the first to get the ball rolling and then dozens of other companies scrambled to latch onto this money train while it was rolling on the tracks full steam (or should i say.... stream EL;KGHS;EKFSH; please end me) ahead.  it started out as a rental subscription service where u could pick out three movies at a time to rent and then they were sent to u in the mail (like blockbuster but now you never have to leave your house ever again to get that sweet sweet rental content).  and then the decision was made to actually start online streaming, no physical DVD’s required!  ISNT TECHNOLOGY GREAT

well whoooo boy this shit swept the nation, people couldnt get enough of such a convenient and relatively affordable service and netflix started really raking in the dough.  and at some point they got rich enough to say “hey fuck it!!!  lets make our own movies baby!!!!”  and here we are now with Netflix Original Movies and TV Shows, which means a new player has entered the movie game in a very novel and innovative way.  why pay money for a movie ticket and leave your house to go to a theater when cool new movies are being released on a subscription service u already own to watch movies you already know and enjoy?  and then u can sit butt-ass naked in ur bedroom alone stuffing ur face with cheese puffs like an insatiable cheddar beast and see something new and fun and interesting

ok so.  Bird Box.  here we have a movie based off of a book (so i guess this also counts as a Book Movies review but I DIGRESS) starring hollywood powerhouse sandra bullock, featuring Supreme Lesbian Overlord Sarah Paulson and Resident Crazy Old Man John Malkovich, directed by a relatively unknown but competent female filmmaker Susanne Bier (who also directed Things We Lost in the Fire in 2007, a moving drama starring Halle Berry).  this one definitely has a lot of proimse compared to what netflix has offered so far in terms of their original movies (im gonna get into Dumplin’ at a later date cause jesus christ what a mess) and i went in with pretty high expectations

did it deliver???  well uuhhhh yeah sort of i guess!!  we got some pretty strong performances from our leading lady bullock who really does deliver it every time, a few strong supporting roles like newcomer Trevante Rhodes of Moonlight fame (his energy on screen is just so compelling and soothing), not overly obnoxious child actors which is really all u can ask for, and overall a solid story. 

now heres where i gotta say that i couldnt help comparing this film to another movie of its kind, directed by the notorious M. Night Shyamalan.  y’all remember The Happening?  cause i remember The Happening.  i remember that it was total shit and that the twist was that it was the fucking plants making everyone kill themselves.  the PLANTS.  and i also remember mark wahlbergs dumb-ass confused face that he used in every single shot no matter the context, im AMAZED i remember zoe deschanel in this movie cause she may as well have been one of the killer plants with how little she emoted, and i remember mark wahlberg yelling at a fake office ficus and apparently i was supposed to be scared while watching this clusterfuck. 

the way that this movie was described to me by friends who had seen it before me was basically that Bird Box is a slightly better The Happening, and no truer words have ever been spoken.  we basically have the same premise going on here:  unknown force is causing people to off themselves, our lead(s) have to try and find a way to escape this unknown force without even knowing what it really is, and theres some sort of “sanctuary” they gotta try and get to (which is a common plot point in really all apocalyptic and post-apocalyptic films).  now whereas The Happening’s rules for this scenario make entirely no fucking sense (how in the fuck are u supposed to be able to out-run WIND???), Bird Box has some rules for dealing with this Unknown Thing that make slightly more sense.  when u open ur eyes while outside, the chance of the Thing making u kill urself in some horrific way is extremely high, so wear a blindfold when ur outside and keep all windows covered when ur inside.  makes sense!  thats something i can believe and get behind which makes me more immersed in the story!

unfortunately like The Happening there are still some little things that kinda dont make much sense and take u out of it.  apparently some people when they see this unknown entity dont wanna die, but instead find it absolutely beautiful, which makes them want to make everyone else look at it to see how beautiful it is.  and its insinuated that these people are mentally ill or have some sort of psychiatric issue.  i get that this adds more stakes to the situation and ups the ante, but it doesnt really sit well with me that once again, mentally ill people are the villains in a horror-type story.  and i also dont really understand why theyd then wanna go around and make other people see the thing??  unless the thing has them in a mind-control state or something and is making them do its bidding but that seems kind of a weird thing for an all-powerful evil formless entity to do. 

and that leads me to the next issue i have with Bird Box.  if ur gonna have an apocalyptic scenario where people do something as serious as kill themselves due to an unknown cause, it almost seems a little cliche and cheesy to have it be some sort of mythical celestial god-like or demon-like entity thats doing the damage.  i actually really liked where The Happening was going with its source of all the chaos being something naturally made, like the Earth deploying some sort of self-preservation mechanism or something.  the idea of that to me is actually loads more frightening than some invisible boogeyman that u cant look at.  and then Shamalamadingdong had to go and make it stupid by saying that it was fucking plants trying to kill people by releasing pheromones or some shit.  like why cant we have the best of both of these??  something naturally-occuring that maybe has even happened before in the planets history (maybe it wasnt a meteor that killed off the dinosaurs after all??), that isnt FUCKING PLANTS, and that doesnt do cheesy shit like make ur eyes turn grey and bloodshot and like whisper to u telling u to take ur blindfold off (i swear that happens multiple times it was pretty silly)

thats another thing, this movie’s tone is all over the place.  there are some moments where a more light-hearted tone is needed to break up the tension, for sure, but it almost as if the writing and dialogue werent really taking this serious of a story as seriously as they should have.  weirdly placed jokes are all over the place, there were some moments where the dialogue made me cringe cause it was so awkward.  bullock’s character gets to have some good breakdown moments which help bring the tone to the level of somberness and despair it should be at, but all the other supporting characters dont really get the same space to process whats happening to them, so it kinda comes off like they arent really affected by, say, their wife throwing herself into a burning car right in front of their very eyes. 

overall i’d still say this is a worthwhile watch, especially considering its a netflix movie.  if you’ve ever wanted to see a not-as-horrible version of The Happening that has some deeper metaphorical stuff going on about motherhood and family and shit than this is for you.  the production value is overall pretty solid (though when it comes to cinematography i actually prefer The Happening from an artistic standpoint) and sandra bullock knocks it out of the park.  go check it out if this seems like something thats up ur alley!!

ok bye for now hopefully it doesnt take me six months to write another review but we’ll see!!  my brain is a mystery and time is an illusion HAPPY 20-BI-TEEN Y’ALL

[falconsandfishes]

platonic relationship

i have a bone to pick with plato. see the socratic method is basically the scene in montynpython in which a woman is weighed against a peice of wood to determine if she is a witch. and this is pretty much also the measurement system women use for me judge a cardio junkie by his ability to withstand smoke fumes. ive been up all night listening to eminem because i wish that i had the mysogny that he had because logically i should be mad at these females who lie to me but apparently developmentally theyre limited. 

so pretty much i just want my neck not to hurt and my side and platonic love isn really the kind which could support my lumbar spine but if you think im angry you are right and maybe if i rhyme my brain will work this time and ill finally be able to explain was never targeted at my objects of affections at all i like to walk around the mall see a cutie with a skirt on and she sees me looking at her tells her grandmother to leave her there because this place looks fun as she smiles at me there comes abu my friend who judges me and judges you and as i stare at her i can tell she wants me too probably more emotionally mature than my mom and a virgin with her skirt on and its workun but i have the confidence of a plastic bag floating in the wind shes cheesing while i hide behind her even though shes 4 11 and im 6 4 and because he was there i didnt pass because i dont cross paths but even thinking about having a girlfriend makes him mad. if shes too young for me i would have figured that out but it doesnt help that no matter how young or how old even the weather lady im told shes not right for me so will you make up your mind please can someone define maturity because apparently there is a reverse correlation between it and age and socrates was no sage im not really impressed that he drank poison similarly i smoke weed which takes me back to age three and birthday parties then i think about how much my life failed but only because everyone always stood in front of me. so snitch on me when i talk to you when youre in front of me at your desk and say your story about butterflies is the best begging middle and end. meawhile i havent even gotten to the first page of my legend of the sword it had a much more compliated plot which was cut off. then tell me i didnt count to tenthousand while you were listening to the teacher say the is spelled t h e and put me in a remedial reading class with a bunch of girls and address us as the girls so we can read books about a mouse who lives with his family in a house but if girls and boys are the same how can you explain i was the only one in that group to be bumped up to the advanced on by 2nd grade. i guess reading the encylopedia of animals wasnt a wase memorized their latin names bufo sativa phylobates. so by third grade i was getting so good at math that they took me out of class and had me testing material meant for 5th graders and it was really lame how can i explain all the flaws in the system to all the other people who were also ruined by it.

finally one girl who was definitely old enough for me waved at me when i looked at her and i got a boner and walked over to the ladies at the tea shop who looked at me with a disgusted look on their faces then some gangster looking dude older than i am replaces me with his hand on her shoulder.

before i was 18 i could beat up my dad and ever since then i knew not many people in my generation had much of a chance against me but i looked so thin they were not understanding. high iq causing depression have anothe smoke session even though you have athsma everyone remember to complain that i prefer to get high off one big hit i stayed in high school till i graduated but i left.

unfortunately with brain damage i could still make straight as which made me think i was ok gpa jumping above 3.68 when i only show up an agerage of 3 days.

practice your sky hook do your pushups get embaressed when an asian princess sees you do them 20 hanlaps perfect form and im not even a jock wow id better stop. next thing the girl i like is sitting on my lap in class telling me she likes me back shes sitting on my desk shes rubbing my face my life isnt gay justnsaynsomehing and youll get laid.

nah ill let some kid with adhd steal her seat and ill help him with math instead because i didnt tell her this but im alread braindead. my soul probably died with my pet lizard or my kitten perhaps it was internet addiction. 

what makes you think youll be make it as a porn star? you know im hot. well maybe i just didnt want you to act like a slut. i still remember the blonde who waves at me and smiled my freshman year it was clear that the world was my oyster the only problem was i couldn make my own choices.

i wanted to be an actor but i was so good at acting nobody got it. was so good at debating everyone liked to argue. was so succinct couldnt get the last word. so fast nobody would pass me the ball so dominant in wrestling i had to pretend i couldnt win just to have a friend.

pretty much i feel like the last cro magonon stuck on an island without charlotte saisselin bounce baby bounce three story house you look so cute in a blouse. hey look theres charlottes stalker i think il wave my arms around.

bounce baby is a reference to eigth grade i was watching a 100 meter race and then some black guy said that she never raced again. weed turned her from a goth into a wigger and after that i figured id become one too but it wasnt till 2009 i started to dress like you. what happened was i got some clothes from olympia sports to wear as warmups on the basketball court and to work as a salesman i shaved my head smiled knowing i was dead but still i couldnt even say i wanted to kiss  girl without that not being cool enough for my nephew and her bowl broke too

it fell from her car on the pavement and she said that he didnt even get to hit it.

so now im living in my dads room on the floor and finally my back isnt sore i have a well paying job im away from mom i have iron lungs and dad still doesnt approve because now i play too much basketball.

hi im interested in going to california. i meant connecticut but califonia will do since its warm there. sure steve come on out west but read the fine print your 20s are dead.

prove you wrong shame on me. dont prove you wrong brag proudly. stay out west and let your dad die. watch him act like an asshole at home back east one more time. your reward for having surived on the street for years as a middle clas kid

your friend says he thought you were dead. by the way he has this girlfriend in connectiut. oh you were the one who set him up with her? theres a whole website or three centered around her? 

better get you to spend your money on heroin and make you seem like a jerk in front of my dad. my excuse is im skitzophrenic.

all because my dad shamed me for growing up even crazier than him. thats why i called up my friend and asked him to date my girlfriend. 

there must have been something in those amphetamines which made me keep stopping at her house. i found them up on the shelf years after i tried to spill them out.

it was the first time an adult had ever called me immature. he also said my handwriting was bad and i needed a cure. talking to him i began to get red where even to begin? i have a lot of prblems at home and this isnt fair. see my dad camps in the yard and gets drunk watches us through windows andmy sister punches me in the head. mom pretty much works till shes in bed.

every day she watches the same soap opera and oprah which i record for her on tape. my sisters friends call me gay so i go over and play with the kids from the other neighorhood all day. 

one of them listens to a lot of eminem. his favorite song is if you dont like it you can suck my dick. hes in reform school and proud to be off his meds. when i talk about biking down a steep hill and blending into traffic he thinks i meannliterall blend in.

two gay twin brothers end of the road honor roll kids. play baseball and have alcoholic parents. hey ill tell the girl steve likes he likes her then she will never talk to him again. accept his chalenge to a fight and he will bang my head into a tree which is the same thing i did to another kid who tried to jump me but got sperated from his friends. 

refuse to dance with the only girl in middle school who has hips. make fun of the girls intelligence who sits next to you in math and has giant tits. refuse to eat candy off the first girls tounge then your science teacher who pushed pills on you flips on the tv its 911

stare at a girl all day and say you dont like her. girls think youre gay if you have a boner. telll me a calculator doesnt mattrer for a test but i do worse without one. make a flag pencil it isnt cool enough for the other kids.

sit with the retarded kids timmy and jimmy. watch nick all night fresh prince and bill cosby.

your sister wont stop torturing you so hold her at knife point. buy knives at school try to resell them and for the first time ever the kids you sold them to ge caught witth knives.

stay in the program with three teachers who gave up on you. one leaves to become a dean suddenly your grades go up. kids are jealous because you dont do homework. girls smile at you knowing that your test scores are high despite that.

throw shotput as far as a high school kid without any exercise or practice. run around the track dozens of times in pants you still arent good enough yet.

go to an alternative program reluctantly in high school its sort of like jail. everyone smells like cigarettes the air is stale. this isnt good for you but we will make you think if you leave you will fail.

[spitelout]

As that makes sense, thank you for answering my questions! => Hmm this one might be a weird one but if when the gang have a run in with a new dragon who's breath has the ability to de-age anything it touches for a limited amount of time, how would Spitelout react to his son conning back a toddler again and staying that way for a few days? Espicially if his now toddler son would want/need his attention so often?

He would be unbelieving at first, then angry, it would probably take him a bit to realize Baby Snotlout doesn’t have his memory intact, hes just a baby again….Then he would fall right back into his old dad ways, making silly noises while trying to teach him how to use his bludgeon properly all over.

Because what greater pride is there in the Jorgensen family than to train the young to be just as good as their parents =3

He probably isn’t the most responsible parent, however. I mean…neither was Stoick, they both gave their children deadly weapons as their first gifts.

He was probably rougher than most people, I can see him putting Snotlout with Terrible Terrors to make them play fight and then beaming with pride over any scars the toddler might receive in the tussle.However, I can also see him reassuring the toddler as they cry that this is a good thing, that they will grow into a strong warrior and be able to tell the tale of when they beat a dragon as a baby. (In fact, I think thats where the idea of Stoick killing a dragon with his bare hands as a baby came from…exaggerated scar stories. It probably happened about the same way….with a Terrible Terror.)

Tbh, if such an event occurred, Hookfang would probably have to take over caring for the reborn Snotlout because I just dont believe Spitelout is capable of being a responsible adult with babies, he doesn’t understand how fragile they ARE compared to what they CAN BE.He, among other vikings in the tribe, were probably the type to put several babies in a ring and watch them fight.Vikings are communal - even in parenting, so its possible he often left Snotlout with anyone willing to watch him….The twins parents come to mind - which is probably why they spend so much time together as teens as well, they were raised together.However, its possible Snotllouts mother died later in his life and she raised him until he was able to walk and follow his father around. Perhaps she raised the tins as well - they do mention they’re orphans, but -shrugs- their pasts are pretty clouded in mystery too.

Unfortunately, with this in mind, the twins would probably convince Spitelout to let them watch baby Snotlout for a bit and…I think we can all guess how that would go.

Lets just hope Hookfang isn’t affected by this as well, bc that baby is going to need a guardian angel - especially a five ton angel of fangs and flame

Also , since your ask was so specific, heres a sorta drabble based around it.

————————————————————————

There are few things that can surprise Spitelout these days, very few, but as the small viking - no, chieftain, Hiccup, stood awkwardly before him, he found himself at a loss. Hiccup was always presenting the tribe with surprises, and now, it seemed, he was presenting a very personal one to him.

Curious, and perhaps a bit bemused by the awkward chieftains shuffling he began the conversation, “What brings the chief of Berk to my door today?”

Hiccup scratched the back of his neck as he looked between the ground and Spitelouts gaze, “Uuuuuuh,” He took a deep breath and let it out, “Spitelout…” There was something heavy on his mind and he didn’t seem to know how to get it out.

“Yes, I am he. go on, boyyo.”

“While we were out exploring the islands, we encountered a dragon we had never seen before, it was amazing, it was - - ” Hiccup never had been the best at getting to the point, but Spitelout let him ramble; the lad really liked his tales, Stoick had too….

Luckily, Astrid stepped in, ah, what a great lass, always straight to the point. “What hes trying to say is, we found a new dragon and Snotlout being Snotlout, well,…” she trailed off, biting her lip as she held out a tightly wrapped bundle towards him, a Snotlouts helm delicately placed atop it.

Spitelout felt his brow furrow as his gaze trailed down to the bundle. There was a tightness in his chest that he refused to acknowledge. Had his boy really gotten himself-

He glanced up as Snotlouts Monstrous Nightmare waddled into view, it seemed anxious, but not particularly upset. Strange, that.

He became plagued with wary curiosity.

“Hes a bit…shorter than when we left this morning,” Astrid continued at last, a light chuckle in her voice,

He took the bundle in one burly hand and gingerly unwrapped it with the other.

He looked back up at the pair, who continued to watch him warily and awkwardly at the same time, he furrowed his brows deeper, trying to decipher what sort of game or joke they were playing at. He looked to them fr answers.

“Spitelout, this- this is your son.”

Spitelout chuckled heartily,  it was just some game they were playing, strange, he always assumed they were different from the twins. “I only ave the one, boyyo, don’t think I could handle anotha.”

“No, Spitelout, that is - this is Snotlout.” Hiccup insisted. “the dragon he battled had this strange…” he struggled to find words, “venom, I guess is the best word for it, that, when inhaled, reverses the aging process and turns people back into younger versions of themselves.”

Spitelout critically searched their faces for the lie, then stared down at the child in his hands, it looked back at him with familiar grey eyes.

“Gothi says theres a cure, but we have to find all the parts.” Hiccup hesitated, choosing his words carefully. “Until then, you need to take care of him…”

“Alrigh, Ill play your lil game, ” he sighed good-heartedly. He found it hard to believe such a thing could really happen, “But if ye needed  babysitta, all ye had to do was ask.”

Hiccup began to protest, but Astrid stopped him, pulling him away with one last wary glance behind her and leading him to their dragons.

Spitelout shook his head as their shadows vanished in the horizon, it seemed the pair still had a ways to go before they became parents of their own. He looked back down at the child and wiggled his fingers near their face making silly noises as he did so. The child gripped his fingers tightly, and a seed of doubt entered his mind.

—————

He was angry at first, pacing the room as the Monstrous Nightmare coiled itself around the child and watched him carefully he didn’t doubt that the thing would light the entire archipelago on fire just to protect Snotlout, but he wasn’t concerned by its low rumble.

“Ow could you go an be so brash!” he scolded loudly, “I ave told yew time and time again, ye cant jus rush in blind!”

“Now, Look at ye! Reduced to - to this! Well I ave news fer yew, Im not changing that diaper. Yew can change it yerself!”

The child sniffled, a cry beginning to bark from their throat.

“Oh don’t start yer cryin, Ive told ye about this before. Were Jorgensens! We don’t cry! We make other people cry!”  he tried to sound harsh, but there was a softness edging into his voice as tears streamed down the childs face.

The Monstrous Nightmare was growling now, a full fledged snarl that bared every single dagger-point fang in his head.

“Oi don’t ye start! Where were yewwhen this happened anyway?”

The dragon bulked at the accusation and simmered back into a low rumble.

Spitelout sighed as the childs screams ripped through his home. He wasn’t angry, he was frustrated, frustrated at himself.

Freya help him, he couldn’t raise a child alone.

Ignoring the dragon he plucked Snotlout from its coils and sang him the Jorgensen lullaby.

————————————————–

“its just wee scratch,” he reassured his son as the toddler screeched and flailed away from the terrible Terror. “Hopefully it will scar and then yewll have a story to tell when ye get older!”

The baby sniffled unconvinced, but curious. 

“Ye can tell em you got it grappling a berserker who tried ta kidnap the prodigy of the Jorgensens!”

The baby lit up as his father articulated this cheerily with his hands.

“But no one kin take a Jorgensen from the place he calls home, no one!”

————————————————————————

He was happy to play father again, really he was, up until day three had passed and neither Astrid nor Hiccup had returned.

He was a busy man, incredibly busy, and also incredibly tired.

Did babies normally cry this much?

Spitelout did his best to comfort the babe, but it didnt seem Snotlout understood how great it was to be a Jorgensen, couldn’t see what a great warrior he would be one day….had been….

———————————————

There was a ruckus upstairs, a series of dragon shrieks and the smell of burning wood. There were startled screams and the screams of a woken baby.

Spitelout rushed upstairs, ax at the ready as he prepared to defend his son.

the screaming stopped when he got halfway up, the house became eerily quiet, and chill went through him followed by a burning in his gut. Whatever was up there better have prayed to whatever god they believed in that no harm had come to his son.

Voices reached his ears, soft but with an annoying edge to it, the twins.

“Hes so cute now that he cant hit us~” Tuffnut purred as he let the small Snotlout play with his braids.

“Yea, and now that he cant talk!” Ruffnut laughed.

“Oh, hey, Spitey” Tuffnut noted blankly, unapologetic in the damage they had caused. “Mind if we take Snotlout out for a midnight flight?”

————————————–

Edit: Annnnnd sorry but I ran out of juice here. -shrugs loudly- Its 1 am, I spent too much time on this as is. X3

[doctorjohcoy]

totally rejecting the inc**t theory for the twins in fall of house of usher but in doing so its made me lean into the goddamn 'twin flames who share one soul with the house' theory, which id like to amend by saying i like the following ideas

borderline incomprehensible talk about this story I have never read below the cut brah

the house represents their joint soul, as well as their sickly lives

their soul is one but their lives and conditions are not

 the house of usher was stressed with only a few usher family members in it, but seriously began to crack under the weight of the last two, even more as theyre both dying of illness. 

 or perhaps it perceives them as one family member and the confusion of madeleine dying and roderick making shit worse definitely broke it

I read the wiki in search of answers and as I am unable to form my own conclusions I must build off of other peoples analyses

 the wiki mentions self fulfilling prophecy in regards to Roderick, (which I still struggle to understand because its not cause and effect) which just fucks it all up

cause that means its neither Maddie nor Roderick or the house doing, uh, all that, but all three of them at once, which I struggle to comprehend

why the fuck did Freddie get there in time for everything to go to hell

 this is all contingent on the idea that they have a single soul. I have no fucking clue what to think if they dont.

fucking I dont know, self fulfilling prophecy bullshit, Roderick is unfortunately extremely powerful and the power he doesn't realize he has gos seriously haywire as his mental health declines

so if he thinks the house is out to get him and the world is threatening to swallow him whole and his sister is still alive and talking to him and wants to drag his soul to hades for burying her alive (even though Freddie cant hear any such thing), then it is happening

theres a possibility that he suspects that either this is contingent on his mental state or more likely that hes just going mad like we magicless bastards do in real life, and either way he needs help but doesn't trust anyone to snap him out of it

no idea what Freddie would do if his friend was just plain hallucinating and depressed and manic and all that instead of all this curse bullshit

theres also the idea that madeleine orchestrated his descent into madness and forced him to build his life around her and eventually pulled them both into hades, but I fucking hate that idea 

whether she really dragged him and the house down or not, and no matter how many people depict her as cold or evil or uncaring, I just dont think shes evil

cold and happy to be alone in that house and doesn't care if theyre sick maybe, but shes got her own mental and physical health to be dealing with, and weirdly enough she doesn't seem as stressed or panicked about it as her brother

at first I thought Rodericks biggest fear was losing his mind and succumbing to illness, but uh apparently its losing his favorite person and only relative and lifelong obsession and being left alone in the world as the last of the ushers

which brings me to another thought, people stating how weird it is that they seem so close

I haven't read the book but like have you met twins

fuck poe for being an in**stuous weirdo, but I dont think its twinc*st

now twin codependency? I can get behind that. its not a good thing, but it makes more sense to me

‘oh now the quoiro/qoisexual is gonna preach to us about romance and sexuality’ I sure am buddy, I dont think its like that

I got nothing to else to say other than I watched the animated short again because im a queer quoiromantic and i thrive off of the ache to rescue your friends from themselves and the world

good ending, Freddie drags these two away from that house and it works and they all live far away safely and happily wherever Freddie lives the end 

I might draw them later cause goD I love those designs

also like I said before im really into the bird idea now

ive never read this book.

[sagebodisattva]

The Enlightenment FROM Jim Carrey?

So, a noteworthy event is transpiring in the mainstream, which is surprising in itself… Jim Carrey, famous mainstream comedic actor, best known as a regular on the 90’s hit TV show “In Living Color”, and for his many roles in a variety of Hollywood films, including “Dumb and Dumber”, “The Truman Show”, “Man on the Moon”, and “Yes Man”, has been raising eyebrows as he makes rounds on talk shows, media broadcasts and entertainment television newsmagazines, spewing speech that could possibly be interpreted as enlightenment talk. So the question is: Is this the real thing? Is this a bit of “method acting”? (a dramatic technique in which actors identify as closely as possible with the character they are playing by correlating experiences from their personal lives to the character, wherein, the actor will often remain in character long before or after the cameras start or stop rolling.) Or is he simply losing his mind and going insane? Most of the fluff in the entertainment establishment seem to be hoping for either of the latter; attributing his recent words and behaviors to either the preparation for an upcoming role, or a mental breakdown due to a deep bout with depression...

Wow, that’s a pretty big dose of either some blissfully naive hope, or disdainful condescending cynicism, depending on which you believe.

I tend to lean towards the former theory: that the reality behind Jim Carrey has moved into lucid awareness, and that the old fake Jim Carrey is not coming back. I mean, one cannot be absolutely certain… as, rumor has it that Jim is preparing for an upcoming role as Terrance McKenna in a soon to be released film bi-op… and, of course, there was the unfortunate situation with his now deceased ex girlfriend, who committed suicide after a breakup marked by dark undertones, including sordid details of mental illness, prescription drugs, and STDs… but, all that aside, let’s listen to some of the highlights of his recent words.

( CLIPS of Jim Carrey speaking. )

Huh! So what to make of all this? Is Jim Carrey the first mainstream figure to have undergone an awakening? Has Jim lost his mind and gone crazy? Is this about creating distractions to ameliorate his image? Or is he simply getting into character for his next movie? All of the above? Time will tell.

And I know that some of you may be a bit surprised by the topic of this video, as it’s not very often that we delve into the shallow waters of the mainstream, but the specifics of the circumstances fall into the general range of the channel’s usual subject matter. The real self behind this persona seems to have undergone a liberation from the character known as Jim Carrey. A lot of people cannot make this distinction and get confused. They’ll say things like “Jim Carrey has awoken”, or “Jim Carrey has left the matrix”, but this idea doesn’t follow.

There is a lot of difficulty in grasping this. People talk about “reaching enlightenment”, or that they “hope enlightenment happens TO THEM”… but it’s these types of thoughts that prevent an awakening; as, it isn’t about a character reaching a destination. Enlightenment isn’t an existential configuration that happens to a persona. And Jim’s words seem to reflect this nuance. Indeed, it’s these kinds of words that might lead one to believe that there is authentic lucidity actually taking place. The real life circumstances of the character Jim Carrey probably played a significant role in this enlightenment, but what has awoken isn’t Jim Carrey. More accurately, there has been a liberation FROM Jim Carrey.

So why does any of this matter? Well, for the Meta Sage, and the philosophy of Pure Potentialism, this is a significant event; as it signifies the first time in our recent world’s make believe history that an imaginary major mainstream figure has spoken words resembling the truth! Holy shit! Damn, I hope they don’t destroy him. I mean, with the beard, the scars of old age, and the all the cryptic language, you know they’ll want to label him a mad man. I’m sure most of the mainstream herd is rooting for depression and mental illness… or maybe even drug abuse. Anything, but to contemplate what he’s alluding to with those words. Isn’t that right, Charlie?

( CLIP of shallow TV skank’s remarks )

That’s right, Charlie.

“Dude… To get ready for his role as Terrance McKenna, Jim Carrey dove head first into DMT dude!… And he’s never been the same since.”

Better that then to consider his words seriously.

“Healthy people don’t talk like that. It’s cringe worthy. Am I right?”

“Please, force him into rehab, and don’t let him out until he’s back to being the same ole rubbery slapstick clown we all know and love. We don’t like this new Jim Carrey. He’s not welcome. Turn him back the way he was,… even if you have to BEND him against his will. Do it… or we’ll slander and shame his character with unsavory insinuations.”

( Lord Palpatine: DO IT! )

So if it’s true that Jim Carrey is woke as fuck, this is a great omen for humanity. If we can have someone as high status as Jim Carrey speaking the truth, it means there is a greater chance of enlightenment for all consciousness. See, he’s able to reach into the orafice of mediocrity and orate to the mainstream’s inaccessible grazing herd, and, for the first time in their lives for many of them, expose them to the truth! And most of them don’t like it… Because they can’t digest it. No more then a 6 month year old baby could eat and digest a 3 pound hot pastrami on rye with spicy mustard. But hey, you gotta start somewhere. But that’s why many people will have cynical reactions… as, they have no clue as to what any of this alludes.

“Oh, Jim Carrey is a rich man. He has the luxury of letting go and acting irresponsibly. The rest of us have to go to work and struggle to make ends meet.”

That is like one of the biggest justifications for spiritually laziness that I have ever heard in my entire life. You know I don’t quote from the Bible often, and with good reason, but there’s one verse that is apt as a response to this assertion. And it’s Matthew 19:23-26, the eye of the needle, in which Jesus said, quote:

“I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.”

Yeah, most of the Bible is full of shit, but there are still occasionally proverbs, nuggets of wisdom or kernels of truth to be found scattered throughout. And this is one of those cases. It is much easier for a stoic man who has nothing to lose by self sacrifice then it is for a self indulgent man who has everything to lose by self sacrifice. And by easier, I mean less attachments as a heavy burden weighing us down.

So stop contriving reasons for your procrastination and your fear of letting go. You have it much easier then Jim Carrey. He has so much more to lose. So what’s your excuse? As if there is something else to do here then free your mind and awaken. There is no greater cause. There is no higher ideal.

So I congratulate the spirit that has transcended Jim Carrey. If awakening is authentic, it’s a welcome calling card to the philosophy of Pure Potentialism.

[survivekohsai]

Episode 3 - These Little Binches Keep Going To Exile And Mutinying!!!!!!!! ~ Richie

I am legit FUCKING PISSED!!! I LOST TWO ALLIES THAT WERE GOOD FOR MY GAME. 4 PEOPLE DID TYLER, I GOT LIED TOO BY A MAJORITY OF THEM!!!! BECAUSE JACKSON SAID 5 (ME, himself, Linus, Mo and QUILL) but Kelsey said so as well so which is 6. SO SOMEONE IS FUCKING LYING TO ME!!! AND I AM LEGIT PISSED OFF TO THE EXTENT IF THESE BITCHES WANNA PLAY CUTTHROAT ILL CUTTHROAT BACK NOW 

I am so alone in this game.... like FOR REALS! I can't trust anyone in this game! Like everyone is a liar and a backstabber.... like can't anyone tell me the truth for once!!!! I put my trust and people used that against me! I am cutting the loose ends and going ham on challenges now. I DARE THE OTHER TRIBE TO PICK TYLER AGAIN I DARE THEM!!!

I'm so pissed and sad.. like why can't anything go the way it is planned! I just really want this game to be fucking over give Tyler his unanimous win you stupid premade bitches. 

There's simply too much to talk about! Again i single handedly took someone out!! I really liked Mo, it's a shame he came at me in the main chat that was his downfall... dont come for me :D Now i asked why i was voted for and Mr Jackson came at me calling me bitter and personally attacking my which was fun. I could only laugh because i wasnt bitter i think he was just upset that he is an absolute failure and failed to get me out twice in a row :( Also apparently i make the tribe chat 'insufferable' which is soooo unfortunate. :D

That tribal was ugly. Mo leaving is not a cute concept and Tyler finding an idol on exile was like... wow. However, not my tribe, not my problem. Right now I want to focus on winning the reward again. I want to send myself to exile as a sort of retribution for RTP. Maybe it'll work, maybe it won't. I know that with my idol, however, I will get through a tribal. Plus, the puzzle is a mood and I think we'll get a good time on it.

forgot to mention this but jordan mutinying is so iconic lol. idk why he did it but i love the drama. what i dont love however is tyler idoling out mo. i wanted to work with mo come swap or merge but now i cant. also raf's dislike of tyler enabled him to go to exile twice where he found the idol so thats annoying. also i think theres tension between raf and rtp/ry so idk whats that about. so far i like working with richie, raf, trixie kind of but she seems cracked, and rtp. but idk if thats a group that could actually come together. i wont have to worry about it until we lose a challenge i guess tho!

Good golly, Miss Molly. Everybody makes choices...and people have CHOSEN. So going into the tribal, I had my heart set on voting Linus. In the case that three million people played idols again, if I threw my vote, I didn't have to play my own, therefore keeping myself in another day. But, I then paid attention to a chat consisting of Tyler, Isaac and Linus. Tyler wanted to vote for Mo and mentally I was thinking "LOL no you bottom bye" because I really didn't want to be taking such a strong side, especially one so brittle as Tyler's. Not to mention Jordan, who I thought would be my automatic lover, has definitely NOT contacted me about much in this game and it made me shifty. However...I got to thinking. I thought to myself, "Kelsey, who are you?" And the answer was "I am Kelsey Valentana Mikaelson, I'm a cutthroat queen who slashes throats and wears ugg boots." And I realized that if I indeed voted for Linus and didn't take a side, I'd be right up there with the people who always vote me out just for being an "easy vote." That's when I said to myself "Ok Kelsey...screw it, you want Tyler in this game, do something about it." I decided then that hey, even if I vote in minority, girl, does anyone REALLY expect anything different out of a controversial gal like me~? So I changed my vote. About...one minute before deadline, but still, I DID IT and I decided to have no regrets. And then....the GAG. First of all, Tyler apparently told no one, not even Jordan, that he had an idol which I don't believe. But then...Mo goes home...! It was really tragic as well, cause I had JUST told Mo he's not going anywhere. But regardless; the vote is revealed that someone voted Linus. I immediately know it's me. However...following Mo's elimination, it opens up a door. Jackson and Tyler are OBVIOUSLY warring sides now. Both of them are boiling hot personalities and it's oil vs water, gurl, it's split the tribe in two. I've told Jackson's side I was the vote for Linus to avoid an idol massacre. And that's true, I did vote Linus and the hosts can confirm. However, I can also tell Tyler's side that I voted for Mo without knowing about the idol, showing I'm willing to take that leap of faith for them. And if they ask the hosts, that is also true. This has given me the opportunity to be a swing vote for BOTH sides and...if I so wanted...I think that really choose who goes next? It's kinda weird to think that I have like...power, cause it NEVER HAPPENS LOL but...I'm just going to plug ALL my effort into this next challenge. The longer I stay in this position without having to make a move, the better. I just really really really REALLY hope it stays this swell forever! And...no one realizes what happened X'D And THAT'S all there is to it~! Vamos, bailar! -Kelsey V Mikaelson

i wanna die just a lil bit

im mutinying!!!!!! *janelle voice* bye bye bitches!!!

okay so! im back in the game FOLKS. on my old tribe im leaving behind Chelsea and RTP who although I wanted to work with them I was way too inactive... oh well. That Rafael guy was sweet. But on exile I got to seriously bond with Akito. I helped her with the puzzles (even though the reward is already gone since Tyler got it, and all i got to know is that THEY DON'T REPLACE IT). But I get an ally! finally! And she's telling me all this stuff about her tribe and how Tyler and Jordan M are beefing people. blah blah. I didn't really follow or understand what the dynmaics are like there. But I can tell Quillynn and Jackson that Chelsea and I worked well together and maybe work with them. Akito said that they're together. And Kelsey is in the middle? Since I'm mutiny'ing I can use this as a fresh start! Maybe I won't have to use my idol the first tribal I go to. But I probably should lol. The second I get to this new tribe (even if we lose which we probably will) I'm gonna go 100% social.

hi im dumb i dont know what the challenge is but i will go look and do that! furby out~~~

I dislike Casanova. I hate that game too much to even try and attempt, but eh. This tribe needs some clipping tbqh.

do people like know others on the other tribe and feel confident or something. why mutiny off the winning tribe idgi. But go us!! Regan and richie are good at everything i want t align with them!

We stan Regan!

my entire tribe needs to realize that Im the most iconic person here and people leave because they hate me like anyone who knows me hates me. I can be annoying. ryan and jordan both left because Im annoying-

I'm going to get out all the people who decided it would be smart it mutiny.

I HATE THIS TRIBEEEEEE LIKE CAN WE WIN A GAME FOR ONCE IN OUR LIFE TIME?!?!?! AND CAN TRIBES SPLIT AT 5 v 5 v 5 please?!?!?!?

I hate that this tribe can't win anything but it's better than being told what to do by regan and trixie. God if I had to deal with them for one more round I was gonna scream into the void and never come out of it.

Sorry for being such a lame duck in this game hostos

Hi I'm Jackson and this is my third confessional. Obviously the elephant in the room is my fight with Tyler, he's kind of arrogant and obnoxious so I don't really regret it. I still want him out and even though I told him we're voting Isaac I still think he has to go this time since he couldn't possibly have another (if I go home cause of that tho I'll be glad, fuck idols) But anyway I'm kinda high and I don't have much to say, we lost the challenge because we suck, no I actually don't care about challenge strength, yes I am okay continuing to lose The alliance of me, Kelsey, Quillynn, Linus and Akito will hopefully stand together even though we're back to being a tribe of 9 (Ryan is here wtf he prob doesn't trust me I tried to vote him out a million times in Kvaloya) Ok bye I hate this

we won again :D but these little binches keep going to exile and mutinying!!!!!!!! i don’t get it….. like okay yeah this tribe is probably terrible or maybe its just me because its like day…..10 and i still haven’t had a single conversation with anyone on this tribe but we haven’t lost a single challenge either reward or immunity yet so like I’m cool with being on this tribe…. what annoys me is that now we’re down in numbers despite winning everything????? RUDE

so this game has been pretty quiet for me...people keep mutinying from my tribe but we keep winning....ryan and jordan are dumb huh....otherwise no one talks to me at all..im hoping to just be the crummudgeony gramps this season

Voting Confessionals

Well I'm switching my vote to Tyler but this is gonna be a bad time since im predicting another idol use on tyler.

I wanted it to be Jackson but since Linus asked I'm voting for him

I vote for Jackson because I just want to help get him away from the constant suffering of listening to people in the main chat.

I vote tyler I guess

Voting for tyler again!

Okay nvm since idk where linus or kelsey are I'll vote tyler

Tyler voted out 4-2-1-1-1

Quillynn, Jackson, Linus, Akito voted Tyler

Jordan, Isaac voted Linus

Ryan voted Isaac

Tyler voted Jackson

Kelsey voted for herself!

[survivorcordillerablanca]

Episode 9 Confessionals

dammit i aligned with the one person everyone wanted out in the merge first.. why is jordan pines still here? well im using my power and bouncing the fuck out next round--- see ya suckers!

i hate blindsides. like people are always like "omg BLINDSIDE haha this is so fun!!" no. theyre not fun. do u rlly like having to own up to everything after tribal to people u just betrayed and u cant tell them EVERYTHING that happened but u have to tell em something and tey always feel betrayed. not fun, and katies obv pretty hurt while bryce is hiding it. like im not gonna blindside if its always this unfun. i dont wanna spill my guts and be all weird bc i dont like doing it :/ but telling people who im voting isnt fun either idek

So the vote didn't go my way. Someone is working with jordan and luke. i think the way the votes fell it was me and chris on jordan, katie on luke, willow on me, and charlotte, luke, jordan, carson, zach on chris. everyone is saying that it was last minute and just wanted to go with the majority. but that doesnt add up. i was told that i wasnt clued in because they didnt know if i was close with chris or not. and that they wanted to flush the idol that jordan has. but if you all vote with him he obviously wont play it?? also i wasnt told because chris chose me to go on the wishing well im  pretty sure which is lame. we werent even close and i would be fine voting him even if i think its the wrong move seeing as how luke and jordan need to go sooner or later. im most betrayed by carson because i told him hes my number 1 and he said the same but he doesnt let me know saying it was last minute. but he talked to me right before the vote and said it was jordan so clearly it wasnt too last minute. willow voting me is so random but i need to make sure i get her back with me b/c i think i can use her. this vote has brought me and katie closer i think which is good, she really seems to think that charlotte was the mastermind of the vote and i kind of agree. i just dont get why charlotte wanted us to split and then do this. she convinced chris to split too i believe which is sad for him. but like why would she make a split if she already had 5 votes. so i think its maybe not her, or she was doing that for extra caution. anyway people still have these advantages from the auction so im wary and just want to win the immunity to secure myself. i need to work on my relationship with luke and willow i think b/c i think that can be beneficial moving forward.

katie used her power.. like why?? i love katie but like.. that was dumb. after me incessantly telling her, youre fine, youre safe. but whatever. (but i get her point of view too because i wouldnt trust me after telling her i was voting jordan then helping her split votes on luke then voting chris out lmao) hopefully the plan of getting jordan out can work this round even though katie using her power semi? nto really complicates the plan. patience sucks by the way

Jordan won immunity which is PERFECt because it means he can't be voted out but now I'm just worrying about me. I know we managed to get the numbers last round but I'm nervous about whether or not people will vote me off this round or not, especially since I'm the only vulnerable Copa at tribal council. That being said I /do/ have 2 idols in my pocket so I could just pull one of those but I wanna try and wait as long as I can before I have to use those. Ideally I want Willow out this round, I don't really talk to her and I don't think she trusts me especially after we played Dead Sea together and I had a hand in exposing the idol that she played incorrectly (oops?)! Zach didn't really like the idea of getting Willow out but Jordan wants to so I'm gonna see what I can do. It ain't over yet

*play like jenna.. play like jenna... play like jenna... PLAY LIKE JENNA*

I hope to be a swing vote next round 

Carson: What do you want to do about tribal? Me, probably: Blindside Zach. 

So we're talking about voting out Willow this round.

She's nice, but there are no real allegiances (as far as I know) that she has in this game. Her vote was wild last round for Bryce, so it should be easy to get him on board to vote for her too. Jordan and Zach both need to go at some point but right now they, and Carson, are the only people I enjoy talking to so ... maybe I'll play this out and just bring a bunch of threats to the end with me. Why not? Can you imagine a final three filled with people who actually played decent games? It'd be a blood bath to see who wins and I am SO here for that.

this vote is a little intricate. but before I get into that, I want to explain other stuff. I was so close to copying Jordan's score because I knew from a past game he got perfect, so I would only assume he'd get it again. That being said, I would've felt really shitty and it may have potentially fractured my relationships with some of them. anyway the five person alliance type thing of char/luke/jordan/carson/myself aint going to stick much longer because..... everyone wants me out. I wanted Bryce out and i got it going but unfortunately people are doing willow. 

Willow leaving is kind of bad for my game, but nonetheless it's the decision and I can't resist it much. I plan on telling her the truth, and getting her to use her golden fan so that I can maybe get a new power because my rope fucking sucks (well, sometimes it can, but its a tiebreaker rip) I think if she didnt use it, she'd give it to me? and i think thatd be fine but i dont want to use it because luke would be mad, so if she's leaving, then why not just let it be her since  she's leaving anyway? I love Willow to death though so her leaving is going to be sad :( I think ideally the next person i'd want out is Jordan. One of the trio of L/C/J have to leave, and i'm least closest with Jordan and despite Char being like... opened about wanting me out because i can go on a comp streak, i don't want her out bryce can leave too. i dont talk to him much, but he's a nice guy! the game's the game, and it sucks though. Also it's fucking crazy how already its final 8 like?? it feels like the game started lowkey like 2 days ago and .... we're almost half way done.. wait we are DSMGODSMGDS okay done

"honestly i love how in this game votes are determined like ~6 hours before the vote and its settleede easily for the most part" zach even tho we've only had three votes including this one and the last one he said he was" told last minute" so what the truth!!! I think we're voting willow here everyone seems to be on board but i was blindsided last time and theres no saying I wont be blindsided again. I really wanted to win immunity but i flopped big time but maybe itll make people think im not a threat. Im gonna try to bring me carson zach charlotte back together and hope for the best because it would be 4-3. but also i want to remain close with katie even tho she ditched me... iconic queen. She told carson before hand but not me so thats interesting i guess!

willow targeted charlotte and spread her name, and charlotte acc does have some power so... ppl (bryce) ratted to charlotte and now willow's on the chopping block. sigh. im fine with willow going i guess ill just need a new final 3 person for me and zach?? whatevs. also willow has a golden fan apparently that mixes up the golden fan so me + zach r gonna try and get her to use it before tribal so we can possibly get some items. also.. at the start of this tribal EVERY name was tossed out besides me and zach. this could be because people know we're close or maybe we actually are in a good position. i think its the former but who knows. hoping this vote can be pulled off easily and i won't be the blindsidee tonight.

Currently trying to get the votes to get Willow out. So far I think I have me, Jordan, Charlotte and Bryce and with Katie gone that's majority for this vote. Zach still doesn't want to do it but I may just have to go behind his back on this vote and not do what he wants but that's the game. Hoping this works because I have a really weird feeling about tonight. 

Okay so as of currently I think Carson, Zachary and Charlotte are the biggest threat and I want Charlotte gone lowkey 

But I'm at my friends house so I don't have lots of time as usual ugh, also I'm a dumbass who got the challenge time wrong also Bryce suspected it was me who voted for him last round rip 

I've been being jewish all day so im just here now, so first confessional - hooray jordan finally won a fucking immunity challenge, it took way too long rtp. like seriously wtf

Anyways splitting this confessional up into 2 cause tribal is soon and i got nothing to talk about, but like bye willow, you were cool i guess, we didnt talk. sorry hon

Okay so like its definitely gonna be me tonight and I sorta tried but I think it's gonna be a unanimous vote and I just wanted to say I love Zach and Carson and I hope they do well in this game and I'm excited to use my fan and stir shit up right before I leave and continue only ever getting 8th in side seasons  

i gave zach my idol bc im a paranoid bitch and have a bad feeling about this vote. also FUCK everyone for wanting (or faking) to vote out literal ANGEL Willow. i just like told her im voting her and love her and wanna be friends after :// Also idk. i have a weird feeling. if i am blindsided, then good game bitches.