#which i am also looking forward to!
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echo \o/!! you’re getting close to the end of opd, how are you feeling about it all?
WSD!!! I'm feeling very. ough. the end of episode 17/start of 18 (with the letter) was a Lot (by which i mean FUCKED UP AND EVIL). and the Kaiser death scare in episode 18 was also very evil but I enjoyed threatening Cellbit through my screen for it at least! and well in general I feel a bit ominous because the Finale Is Approaching and that's scary but also I'm excited to see what ends up happening!!
(also I made it to the end of the like 8 full episodes of haunted mansion so I'm glad about that. we're free. or well technically we're in the basement now but I'm not counting that as the mansion anymore. you understand)
#also once i'm done i can watch opc yayyyyy#which i am also looking forward to!#echo.asks#wsdanon#ordemlb#<- again not a liveblog but for other people's spoiler blocks
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Scholarly peak is catching up on recent literature
#bingqiu#shen qingqiu#luo binghe#svsss#sqq#lbh#my art#which is honestly just to say that i've finished the other two print books i was reading#and am now prepared to leap feet first into svsss bk4#i succeeded in holding off for an entire two weeks. i have the conviction of a wet paper towel.#lets see bk4 was described as - what? - an ''angst and smut pile''??#i am very much looking forward to this#i was promised a story with my snake boy#because i am very much not over zhuzhi-lang's fate so this had better be A REALLY NICE HAPPY ONE FOLKS#anyway have sqq and lbh cuddling and reading as i project on them#i like to assume that as time goes on sqq is able to relax his persona a bit more around lbh#i think he should get to cuddle and bitch about shitty novels#but man sqh is really the ONLY source of any books that have an even slightly modern cadence/style i have a feeling sqq would be very keen#though if i'm being honest i really wonder if sqh could ever bring himself to write fiction again#if you're A Writer it tends to be hard to RESIST you just get an itch to tell a story#but also like... the fear that all of this could happen again... or that the characters you're creating might be REAL and SUFFERING...#yeah... i honestly suspect he can't write anymore and that it honestly probably sucks a lot... but for the sake of this joke he is :P
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I started reading Dungeon Meshi last week, became instantly charmed and captivated, and blitzed through the entire manga in 4 days (and changed my profile picture about it). With that in mind, I would just like to say...
I love your dungeon meshi art so so much
CHILCHUCK!!!!!!!!
Thank you kindly! I love Dungeon Meshi a lot, so I'm happy to see so many people get into it for the first time.
CHILCHUCK!!!
#ask#dungeon meshi#chilchuck tims#I feel like chilchuck was overlooked in the pre-anime fandom a lot (which sucked as an OG chilchuck fan).#So I am thrilled by how much love he has been getting. He is a great character and so much fun to draw.#Great comedic straight man while also having some really hard hitting emotional moments.#I think he needs a union mandated vacation after this dungeon expedition -and a drink with an umbrella in it.#Veering off topic for a moment:#I started drawing this at the same time as the Dragon comic (I had chilchuck brainrot)#and since then two of my dungeon meshi comics have hit over 10k notes. Which is bonkers!#A year ago I was getting hyped over a post reaching past 100 notes...I never thought I'd be here. Thank you for all the love and support.#I may have started as a MDZS blog but drawing for Dungeon Meshi has had a huge impact on me *and* my art.#This Chilled Chuck is thus a mini celebration for a incredible milestone B*)#I'll keep my weekly dungeon meshi posts going until the season ends so please keep looking forwards to it!
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finished the goblin emperor. pretty much only have good things to say about it. did not expect it to be so wordy and dare i say crawling at times, but i appreciate how it dared to keep to its own pace and say everything it wanted to say and i was never bored with any of it. also enjoyed how the chapters were (mostly) contained to their own little event in maia's new life as an emperor with the cute detail of chapter titles. the characters also felt very effectively characterized, even the ones who only had a few lines or pages to make their presence felt. the world, too, felt very detailed and well thought-out without hammering a whole bunch of lore onto the reader. you can really feel the enthusiasm and curiosity katherine addison had for this world and its characters, but the way in which it was presented felt very... contained? strange to say for a 400+ page book, but i mean it had a very satisfying balance of presenting us the most interesting parts of these character's personalities and histories and society without overloading us with, what i am sure, was a very extensive worldbuilding document. very satisfying read for enjoyers of immersive fantasy court politics. with goblins and elves front and center!
#i am taking notes#will most likely jump right into witness for the dead#book thoughts#the goblin emperor#also definitely felt different from iskryne and doctrine of labyrinths. obviously#but i liked it for doing its own thing and its still very queer. even when not stating it outright (which it does as well)#so i liked that aspect of it too#and looking forward to the rest of the series!
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lol. LMAO, even.
#renruki#renji abarai#rukia kuchiki#tybw spoilers#losers (/affectionate)#tybw really got me on this one! after all that added squad 5 content i was like '...renruki combo move??' ha ha ha NOPE#do not get me wrong: i am not mad. i loved this. getting trashed and getting a painful bouncing-and-rolling-sequence is Classic Bleach#this was huge 'this one's for you babe' and then he misses energy BUT MAKE IT FOR COUPLES#i kinda like it when rukia takes a hit or two? she's shinigami tough! let her have a bounce-n-roll!!#also it means that their 'gremlins springing from the rubble' shot is BACK IN and probably in the first ep of cour 4#which is in the top three things i am still looking forward to#(the other two being renji's broTP speech to ichigo and the ByaHitsu comedy hour ft Cp. Hitsugaya's Older Brother)
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Diabolik Lovers More, Blood Vol.3 Mukami Ruki Stellaworth Tokuten Bromide & Short Story Paper
Originally, these were tokutens you'd get for buying Ruki's CD through the Stellaworth store. Nowadays you might find them sold at flea markets or second hand stores. The story is written from Ruki's POV, and takes place right after the ending of his CD, with him and Yui still on the rooftop.
Enjoy the angst (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ)d
(Don't repost anywhere!)
#my ramblings are at the bottom of the tags this time for anyone interested dhdjfj#dialovers#diabolik lovers#diahell#ruki mukami#yui komori#ruki x yui#mb ruki x yui#more blood#short story#diabolik lovers official art#mine#this actually made me a bit sad ;_;#now that i think about it ruki's early stories are all more or less angsty#which checks out#the man himself basically says outright (in DF i think) that he didn't know what happiness felt like before he met and fell in love with Yu#and he also mentions (can't remember where exactly) that he used to wish he had simply died as a human#that he saw no real meaning in his “second life”#so yes. he was in a very dark place emotionally at the start of the franchise#which is why his later routes/CDs/stories warm my heart so dang much#just the difference in his outlook and demeanor aughh. fuck. the feels fffffgdgdg *cries*#i am so normal about this man#speaking of which...the upcoming rukiyui story (which will be posted on friday whoooo!) is so fucking good omg#definitely one of my new faves#so look forward to that on friday ((o(*^∇^*)o)) can't wait to share it!#oh and the 9 other stories as well ig sgdg#they're kind of already fading from my awareness though cuz they're not rukiyui :p
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RealAgeAU Drabble - Reminiscene
Hello everyone :3
You all know what time it is!! I think... It is time for another Dream drabble :3 @spotaus I know how much you like having dream be put through the ringer :33
First drabble Prev drabble Next drabble
Not much to say this time. You guys ready?
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All things considered? Dream had been doing okay lately.
The worst part was that he wasn't sure if he felt good or bad about it.
At least Core didn't call him every 5 minutes anymore. Seems like the outcode child finally accepted that Dream had changed. That Dream had moved on.
Hah.
If only they knew how little he had actually moved on.
Dream stands in the greyed out forest. Waiting and listening. Not even a slight breeze. No sound.
A dead AU.
He used to blame Nightmare for that, for killing their AU.
Nowadays?
Dream figures it was just the end of their AU.
Dream leans against a tree and sighs. He tries to reach out but no sounds.
On his solo trips and, as Blue liked to call them, self discovery trips. Dream had learned he could speak to trees. Though maybe calling it speaking was a bit generous.
The trees didn't use words. Just sounds and whistles and whispers that could almost have been words. Dream had still been able to understand however. He just had to listen.
Seems like that was a theme for him. He just had to listen to be able to understand.
Even so, he takes a deep breath and leaves the forest and walks towards a familiar hill.
He kept returning here. Dream wants to say he doesn't know why and that it is just his home calling back for him.
He knows the truth.
He stops by the old cut down stump and focusses on the two familiar graves.
Seems like he hadn't been the only one visiting. There are once again fresh flowers. All beautifull yellows and orange coloured this time.
Dream smiles as he sits by the graves and gently touches the flowers. Part of his soul grieves at the two graves, once of which is meant for him. But another part of his soul sings in joy.
Because there is only one monster who could have made these graves and left these flowers.
Dream chuckles as he glances at the stump "Nighty came by... didn't he?"
No answer of course. Nim has died a long time ago. Even so Dream leans back against the stump as he keeps looking at the graves, most of his focus is on his own.
Dream keeps staring at the graves as he speaks "I know you won't answer me... with you being gone.. But... I want to at least think you are listening to me. Just this once."
Nim never listened to him. Neither to Nighty. They just had to listen to her.
Look at where that lead them.
Dream watches over the grey fields and the village in the distance. "Had you already decided near the start? Which one of us you would love and which one you wouldn't?"
No answer but Dream didn't mind. He watches the village in the distance. He can't help but wonder how often Nightmare would have had to do this alone. Keep watch alone.
"Or was it an in the moment decision? Had there been a moment were you held both of us and loved us both? Or had you decided the moment Nightmare formed that you would hate him?"
How often Dream would rush off, ignoring the quiet pleas to stay wiht Nightmare.
"I think you decided from the start. Why else would you give him the name you did? Say the only thing that matters about him is how he was different from me."
Would he have seen those angry people coming? With weapons? Had Nightmare been afraid? Wondering where Dream had been? Why Dream hadn't stopped them?
"It has to be the reason. Why else would you tell me to make friends with the villagers and help them? While telling Nightmare to stay put and send them away? You must have known. Known that by making me help them and by making Nightmare deny them that they would grow angry with him."
How often had Nightmare believed Dream had abandoned him? Only for him to end up mortally injured?
"You don't deserve the grave he made." Not that Dream thinks he truly deserves one himself. Even if he returns each time to see if new flowers are left for him.
Dream once again wonders if he should leave a message for the next time Nighty visits... Just something that he wishes to talk.
But then that ever present fear returns. What if it meant Nightmare wouldn't visit this place anymore instead of answering? What if he decided it was better to completely cut their past lose from him instead?
Dream hugs his legs as he tries to remember how colourful everything had been. How beautiful it had been.
But... Dream now realises that it had just been a prison of responsibility... For both him and his brother.
A golden cage... but still a cage.
Drema snorts as he nudges Nim's grave "Yet here you are! immortalised by a grave your son made you! You know. That same son you aparently never liekd or wanted? That son made you a grave and keeps said grave clean and brings you flowers. I bet you wouldn't even be thankful for it."
Dream knocks the stump with his fist "After all! How often did you tell me that I should focus on myself? How i should focus on making the villagers like me? How i shouldn't bother to wait for Nighty to return from the river?" Nim had been trying to seperate them from the start. A dream had never realised.
Dream sighs as he hugs his legs "We were children. Little babybones and you gave us adult responsibilities...." They should have just ran. the two of them should have just disappeared into the forest.
Nighty had asked him a few times if they couldn't just leave together.
Dream should have realised something was seriously wrong. Nighty had been the one who took their jobs so seriously.
But... Dream had just said he didn't want to leave his friends in the village behind.
"I wish i could turn back time... get a redo... I would stay by Nightmare's side. I would convince him that the job you gave us wasn't our job."
Dream wonders why Nightmare had been so set on doing their job so well... Dream has ideas but none of them are happy reasons.
"What... waht did you tell him? That made him desperate to do this job well?" Which lies had Nim told Nightmare in Dream's absence...?
Dream hugs his legs "Why did you never bother to tell me?" Dream grows angry as he huffs "Why did you never bother to tell me the same? Or tell me when Nighty was near? Or tell nighty when I was near? What was it you were trying so hard to protect?!"
A memory. from so long long ago. It had been raining and Nightmare hadn't been around. Ligthning had been flashing and Dream had been so afraid. His mother had help him within her branches. protected him. reassured him he would be safe. told him...
told him that Dream just had to protect himself. protect the hope he represented...
Dream laughs as he kicks the grave of his mother. glaring at it angerly "Was it worth it?! Was it worth killing one of your sons to protect the other?! Was it worth being the cause of all this pain and suffering we both had to go through?!" Dream shakes his skull as he gets up "Nevermind. You are never going to give me answers... and honestly. I am tired of you being a part of my life in anyway. I hope you rot whereever you are now." and he walks back to the forest.
It is silent and he prefers it like that. Things had been loud and hectic.
And well...
Maybe just maybe... He had done the same as Nightamre had done.
He gets to the forest lake and immediantly spots the tiny grave.
Well not grave. Dream shies away from that word. Nightmare is very much alive after all. It is more like a memorial... Wait those can be made for living people right? drema thinks so.
It was nice. It gave him a safe place to grieve and talk about everything. to imagine Nightmare across from him and listening to him. Like old times.
Dream figures that is why his own grave nad Nim's are still up. Dream knows Nightmare has to come by to take care of both graves and Dream snorts as he imagines Nightmare just telling the two graves in all the things they had been wrong in and all the stupid lies they believed.
For now he sits down and pulls out a few little knick-knacks he had collected form across the multiverse.
Dream keeps his voice quiet. Afraid someone will hear and come ruin it "Hey little brother..." he can't forget anymore that Nightmare had been his younger twin. Yet it had always been Nightmare who took care of him. "I am back..."
finally back.
Dream traces the stone and wood structure he had made. all still in perfect condition. With the AU being dead there was no more decay.
Dream organises everything he had left before sitting across from it "Sorry it took me a while. I had a.... I had an identity crisis." he snorts "I know. ironic isn't it? Everyone was always so quick to help and guide me to be what i should be yet it helped nothing. I still ended up unsure about who i was or what i had to do..."
he looks at the snowglobe he had put down "I was always jealous of how you just seemed to have it all figured out. How you were confident in what you did. Both before and after the apples. it felt like i was failing, and i guess in the end i did fail as everything i believed had been a lie..."
Dream sighs as he leans his cheek on his knee as he keeps looking at the structure "It is stupid... I had all the help in the world, and then even the multiverse. and yet still i didn't figure it out. I still didn't figure out i was a god of balance over positivity. I still didn't figure out i was doing more harm than good..."
Dream traces the grey grass under him "I was so against picking a domain Nighty... partly because i didn't want to pick something and get you stuck with something you would be hated for. Not again... but that wasn't all."
Dream hugs his legs and confesses what had been weighing him down "I was afraid of picking wrong. No, I am afraid of picking soemthing wrong. That i will pick something and once again not understand it... How did you do it Nightmare? How did you figure out what you were suposed to do? You didn't have help yet you understood...."
Drema chuckles and rubs his cheek "Not that it matters anymore. aparently i did already pick... Reaper confirmed it for me not too long ago... a god of progress. What the hell does that even mean? What does it mean i should do? I know i aparently helped blue by inspiring him to get out of that loop but still! That was on accident! what if i once again go to far?! what if i..." he hides his face "What if i mess up again?"
Guilt and Dream chuckles "Here i go again... whining about my trouble... I don't even know what my choice and pick do you... what is even the oposite of progress?! regression? Did i make it so you are stuck with like... reset stuff?!" he sighs as he rubs his cheek and rubs the tears away "This shit is so unfair... neither of us ever asked for this. We never wanted this and no one tried to help us before yet expected us to just know."
Dream stares at the memorial. no answers of course but he does feel better after speaking about his worries.
Dream chuckles as he pats the memorial gently "But.... that wasn't why i am here. As you know... today is a special day!" he turns to his pack and pulls out a bottle. it is champagne. and a few cupcakes. he lays the cupcakes between him and the structure before putting a candle on both cupcakes and lighting them.
Dream smiles as he opens the bottle and holds it up to the grave "It is our birthday!"
Dream rubs his neck "I know it must seem weird. after all! For the last i don't even know how many years i had so many people to celebrate with and so many powers and even before that it were the villagers but... well..."
his voice grows softer and softer "I miss when it was just us. After we collected berries and fresh fruits. when we would sneak off together and sit by the river to eat the fruits together and give each other small gifts..." he pulls a small wooden statue from his pack.
Dream looks at it and rubs the wood. He had spend weeks on it. an old familiar skill now unfamiliar and feeling alien in his hands. he managed to make a small owl at least. even if one eye was clearly bigger than the other and Dream now had more splinters in his hands then ever before, even more than he first started.
He places it carefully in front of the memorial "I know it... it isn't my best work... I am going to be honest, it is porbably my worst..." he just hadn't had time to try again. He tried so many times but none of them have looked right and as time went by it just kept getting worse and suddenly he didn't have time anymore.
Dream chuckles "It sucks that i.... i didn't keep up with the hobby... I hope you kept reading at least... that you had the chance to keep reading... your picture and castle seemed to reinforce this at least... there were so many books in there! and the picture of you reading..." he rubs his arm as he keeps sitting right there "I am sorry... that you felt like he had to leave and run from your home... again..." he glances down adn chuckles "look at me... rambling... lets blow out the candles okay? I will blow out both. Don't forget to make a wish."
Drema leans down and blows out the candles on both cupcakes before putting his hands together and making his wish.
A silent whisper in his mind.
please.
please.
Just give him the chance to meet Nightmare again.
To talk to him one more time.
If only once to tell him he is sorry and that Dream loves him.
Dream opens his sockets and smiles at the grave, ignoring the tears that are leaving his sockets "Did you make a wish nightmare? Remember. No telling! otherwise it wont come true!"
Dream takes the two cupcakes and eats both before opening the champagne bottle and drinking straight from it. He isn't a fan of stuff like this but champagne is suposed to be for celebrations and well... celebrating himself and his twin seems like a good reason.
He spends his afternoon like that. just being in his old AU thinking back.
Fitting. a god of progress... stuck thinking about the past.
Dream chuckles and sighs "Blue said it is fine you know? To take time and get used to everything... I just hope... that you are doing the same... taking your time to rest after everything. I can only imagine how exhausting it would ahve been to have to do everything you did while everyone was actively working against you..." he smiles up "Good news for that though! I managed to visit pretty much everyone who knew either of us personally or about us! And i managed to explain the situation! so.. hopefully... whever you are or are planning on going, people will let you be and do your thing..."
Dream smiles at the memorial with the raised bottle "to us. to the future... and... I miss you... I am sorry i didn't make it obvious how much you mean to me..."
That had to be the reason why Nightmare hadn't searched him out yet... because he beleived that Dream hated him.
And that is on Dream. On dream for not doing a good job as brother and making it obvious that he loved his twin.
Dream hums as he leans against the stone structure "I love you nighty. And I promise you, I will make it up to you once we meet again."
Maybe that is why he is the god of progress. Because he is willing to move forwards and make it up. progress towards a new future.
Dream blinks and laughs "I bet you would have heard my title and figured it out immediantly." he giggles as he leans against the stone "Happy birthday Nightmare."
Happy birthday to me.
Dream sips the expensive bottle and enjoys the peace and silence.
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#utmv#realageau#dream sans#dreamtale dream#Only dream today!#And he is thinking and remembering!#Still no edits or betas. just me letting dream ramble and think and feel what he feels#also! Look at that!#Dream knows what his domain is!#it is progression!#Dream will figure out what he wants with that later.#ironically dream is very stuck in the past#but just because he remembers the past doesn't mean he can't move forwards#How can you move forwards after all. if you are unwilling to learn from the past?#Dream just isn't feeling confident at the moment and he needs time. but he will figure it out!#Much like Nightmare uses restoration to help things return to a whole moment. to ENABLE them to heal.#(like making the mushroom tree return to a moment of being healthy so he could remove the thing doing harm)#Dream learns and uses the past. to help others learn and move forwards.#(like how blue learned from the resets nad moved forwards by changing and adapting)#Very much connected with the same overall goal but through different means <3#No baby in the drabble thought </3#Also yeah Dream sitll isn't aware that Nightmare is baby. which is gonna be QUITE the reveal... eventually :D#Euh. I think that is it for todays drabble lmao#It isn't perfect but euh they never are and i am not going ot drive myself crazy trying to make a drabble perfect ;P
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Hey, Jake & Jack fans, is this anything?
Both men imprisoned (literal & metaphorical).
Both offered an out from their current predicament by an outside force (arguably in the case of Brain Ghost Dirk).
Both have loose ties to Lord English visually.
Yellow initial glow & Gamzee involvement too.
Sometimes a guy just needs to explode (same pose too).
Both dual wielding weapons.
That same said weapon type (for Jack Noir) having killed Jane Crocker.
It's really looking like Jake is going to do her in.
I would also like to point out that we've had interactions involving these three (Jane, Jake, and Brain Ghost Dirk) before that consisted of similar topics & themes.
Brain Ghost Dirk implying that he's just there as moral support, a manifestation of Jake's powers, and as a coping mechanism. Jane also talking about ruling an empire with him while talking down to him, similar to how she saw and/or still sees him in Beyond Canon's Candy timeline. Jake also being uncertain about doing anything to harm her despite all the bad things she's doing.
Brain Ghost Dirk going away tells us that Jake's more hopeful than he's ever been. This is the moment where he is the most sure of his decisions than he's ever been in his life, whatever those decisions may be in regards to Jane and how to handle this situation.
He is probably going to shoot Jane down, quite literally. I would also argue that after all this time, the lad isn't beating the Lord English allegations. We might as well have a parallel of him killing Jane much like how Jack Noir killed her right before he got possessed by Lil Cal & given some of Lord English's immense power.
Alternatively maybe we'll get to see what the power of hope or hope bullets can do to someone whose done so much wrong & come so far off the deep end in terms of moral wrongdoings. Maybe with every shot that hits her, she'll begin to be swayed to the side of good & start to self-reflect.
I'm still not fully convinced that Gamzee actually cured Tavros' peanut allergy, I mean just look at the panel.
This could absolutely be interpreted as Jake injecting his hope power into the epipen and by proxy injecting both his power & the epipen into his son! If younger Jake is strong enough to defeat Grimbark Jade, then adult Jake might just be strong enough to defeat a peanut allergy is all I'm saying! In fact, now that I'm rambling about it, this seems like the more likely outcome is Jake's hope power swaying or (in the very least) confusing Jane mid-fight. Hope bullets, they would look cool & would be pretty strong!
The power of believing in others & wanting things to change can be a strong tool indeed, Mister English.
If there's one person who still believes in changing Jane's mind (or bringing her back to proper canonicity depending on how you interpret the recent lore), it would be Jake English, the believer.
Okay, maybe this is something! Tally ho!
#I have not seen anyone talk about the visual; story; & character parallels yet so allow me to jump up on this box real quick#gonna start shouting into this megaphone because holy crap I just now noticed this somehow only just now#I know & am aware some of these are probably a stretch & the order of events isn't exactly the same; but hear me out okay?#did the writing team remember & know they were doing this??? anyone feel free to answer or ask one of them on twitter I just want#to know out of pure curiosity though i can see how answering something like this might be spoiler territory this early into beyond canon#Jake is on the war path & I love that for him; I trust him to rage responsibly tbh#this started off as me being certain of one hs outcome; but now im more certain of the other; feel free to guess which is which#I'm not here to say whether I agree with Jake or disagree with how he's going to handle the Jane Crocker situation; I'm just doing analysis#& finding parallels that may or may not be intentional because at this point I'm honestly not sure; but i figured it was worth pointing out#jack noir lord english and jake english parallels real? only time will tell; but i look forward to the coming updates to hs^2 or hsbc#homestuck beyond canon#homestuck#jake english#homestuck^2#homestuck 2#jane crocker#jack noir#homestuck theory#brain ghost dirk#homestuck candy#cw blood#homestuck upd8#upd8#homestuck spoilers#also yes i avoided having the flashing images be flashing images on purpose; less hassle with tags & stuff & things even if it looks cool
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happy to have an offgun sunday show back on the docket but i can already tell this series is going to put a bee in my bonnet every week about late stage capitalism foisting its cancer upon all workplace cultures and turning things like internships from learning and exploratory opportunities to build skills and discover interests in a field, to an expectation of free/low paid but inexplicably pre-skilled labour. do you think ye olde blacksmith's apprentice showed up to the first day of the apprenticeship and the blacksmith is like "what do you mean you don't know how to shoe a horse?? that's so basic" no. the expectation of apprenticeship is that a newborn emptyheaded youngin with a vague notion that metal is cool shows up, and is taught how to blacksmith. the expectation is not that the young savant of metalwork turns up with a list of horses already shoed, including One Very Special One in the Royal Stable, and god would you please please please allow me to debase myself for you, o blacksmith? my resumé is just like the journeyman's!! this workplace culture is a modern invention!! they used to teach you things at work!!
[breathing audibly] i just think entry level should mean entry level, and that as much effort goes into gathering experience that makes people competitively hire-able, ability, opportunity, and luck also play a role. it is lucky to know your passion early enough to be able to groom yourself to competitiveness in a sharky field of work, but a person should be able to turn up for entry level positions/interning with an unabashed "i know nothing" as long as it's followed with an "and i'm ready to learn" and it is in neoliberalism's favour to allow work environments to cut their costs by eschewing the responsibility to teach. to train the trainee.
#the trainee#the trainee the series#...so this makes it seem like i didn't like the ep when i super did#i just hate hustle and grind and neoliberalism and i want to hold ryan in my palm like an eggcup#i can hear myself taking it too seriously lmaoooo uh oh gmmtv you hit my hot button. i'm not criticising the writing though!!#they're faithfully rendering an environment i would love to love but am forced to loathe lmaoo#i just want a world where you show up on your first day and your equivalent p'jane says#'hey so the way it works here is i give you a brief in the morning so it'd be good to have a notepad and pen ready.'#'also the hard deadline for this is 6pm which means you need to be done filming 2/3 so it can go for editing by 5pm.'#okay i'm going to stow this now bc i have 0% faith that gmmtv will make any meaningful sustained criticism of capital culture#being as they barely follow through on their richboy/poorboy tensions ever other than for antagonistic chemistry fodder#BUT. despite what all that^ sounds like i enjoyed the ep lmaoooo. looking forward to it genuinely i swear#liomsa
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Subtitles below the keep reading:
Hey you, shut your mouth and look at my paw! DON'T FORGET!! [Incomprehensible sped up gibberish] This... Journey... Money... Loads of coins. [Incomprehensible sped up gibberish] What-about-her? What-about-her? ... What-about-her? 'She still like me? [Quiet but mostly incomprehensible gibberish about subtitles] O P S O P N O-1 1. Here's the spell: Love the mermaid, for sure! The mermaid is HAPPY! Okay! It's pretty normal for a fish, right? Guuuyyyssss, beeeee caaarefuuulll wiiiiith theeee GIIIIIRRRRLSSS!!! [Incomprehensible] Oh! Silly! Oh yes! Lamb chop boy! [Incomprehensible] [Very quietly, while white noise is playing over it] Goood eevening, aand weeelcome too the shoooowww... [In the background] Ohhh, mooney!
#video#elevenlabs#i generated three versions of this video and basically spliced together the best parts from each one into one thing#and also toned down the flashing of the red and white pound signs to be a lot slower#i'm honestly surprised how well everything spliced together. i was expecting it to be even a little bit noticeable but. nope apparently not#i did a few generations of meet the spy's intro and tried to splice together the best bits but theres just so much happening with the audio#there's a lot of funny portions of that audio. maybe i'll try again at it and see if i cant get the parts i like in one thing#truthfully i also don't know how much folks'll like these. as in compared to around the time the infomaniac stuff was made#so i'm not sure how much of these i'll be putting together and uploading. mostly just been fucking around and showing my friends#i'm mostly just intrigued to hear what the ai tries to say with some of these generations#since it's just trying to translate from one language to another#in this case. providing videos in english. and setting the translation from russian to english.#which seems to be the best thing so far (that i've tried) that causes more of the words being said to be off-script#like it'll usually most be like whats originally being said mostly but other times it's completely different from the source#i think this dub shows it best. between ''hey you. shut your mouth and look at my paw!'' and ''love the mermaid. the mermaid is happy!!''#i am also officially out of characters to generate more so i won't really be doing more than what i've already done for a while#i wanted to try and give it a video that plays backwards. flip that. then let it dub over it forwards.#but i'd have to wait until i get the character limit reset
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I didn't understand what people meant when they said that the patients where I've done medical school and am doing residency are "very sick," and I'm starting to realize that this is because I haven't actually had context for practicing medicine in a location where patients are less sick, and it is not in fact all that average to think, "It's a good day when I have a patient with a functioning liver and kidneys!" or be pleasantly surprised when I don't have to list "type 2 diabetes mellitis, hypertension, hyperlipidemia, chronic kidney disease stage X, heart failure (of some sort)" on the chart's problem list just, like, at default baseline, with a side of chronic opioid use and/or intravenous drug abuse.
On the other hand, those same people were correct: it's making me better at treating all of those things and handling comorbidities really quick!
One of the big things I keep running into is pain management, because three common things for me to see are liver disease and kidney failure. To simplify it a lot, liver disease precludes the use of acetamniphen/Tylenol, and kidney failure precludes the use of ibuprofen/NSAIDs. There are other pain treatment medications, but I have less experience with them, and they tend to either be for more specific/adjuvant uses (like lidocaine, the gabas, antidepressants, steroids) or opioids... and I've literally seen two patients in the past week who had to get Narcan for opioid overuse.
On the other hand, obviously people in the hospital often have very legitimate reasons to be in pain and we don't want to leave them that way. But it's a hard line to walk when the family is asking questions like "Why is dad not getting enough pain medication?" and "Why is dad talking to the walls about his days in the war?" or when you get people pulling shenanigans like, "I'm allergic to Tylenol, give me Norco instead!" (Hint: Look up what the main ingredient in Norco is.)
Thank you, on-call pharmacy. :'))))
Another thing I'm quickly becoming relieved about is patients who are...not jerks, I guess? It feels not great to put it that way because generally being in the hospital is an extremely poor time for anyone, but also, it sucks when a solid 1/3 of my patients are actively ornery to everyone who tries to work with them for whatever reason (altered mental status, depression, being in pain, general anger issues, drug withdrawal). Shoutout to the folks actively working together with me to help them get better.
Anyway, the hospital is very tiring. Surely the emergency department I'm going to next will - nah, I can't even pretend to finish that joke.
YOLO! I am really enjoying how much and how quickly I'm learning! Despite the crazy hours this is definitely a drastic improvement on medical school in terms of actually enjoying the work.
#personal#dear diary#residency#I had a stroke rule-out I discharged yesterday who literally just had the one first-time TIA and was also hypothyroid#and those were his ONLY medical conditions#I was like “???? I feel like this chart is too short...”#we're gonna get a more in-depth pain management presentation from our clinic's PharmD in didactics soon#which I specifically asked her for#so I am looking forward to it!
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You versus the guy she tells you not to worry about
#i did look this up a few hours after i reblogged that post yesterday(? or was it the other day) I DO BELIEVE IT'S SHELLEY#if only for the fact that it was for most of a century being identified as LEIGH HUNT instead! yeah right#that is not leigh hunt in 1822#i recommend googling the uva library article about it. it shows the full portrait which the telegraph does not in its preview#and that one is also behind a paywall so i couldn't even reeeead it#thank you university of virginia <3#it is not slacking for information btw. there's a forthcoming article by the person who propisitioned that this is shelley#i look forward to it#percy shelley#art#william edward west#romanticism#portraits#sorry amelia curran. your painting is still better than i could do#but i am feral at the thought of having such a professional likeness#THAT IS A REAL MAN BEFORE US#with such believable and realistic features#i want to believe#i know without a proper title given by the painter we'll never really know#but i a million times will accept this is shelley before i accept that the cobbe portrait is shakespeare lol#whenever i see that being published as shakespeare im like. sir. that's clearly thomas overbury#chandos portrait stans rise#sorry i dont often post about it but i am obsessed with likenesses of famous ppl especially disputed ones#especially disputed ones before the innovation or proliferation of photography!!! cuz wow!!!!
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things i would like for s19 that i know is not going to happen:
nuanced sigma characterization doc and omega scene sargrey donut written like he was post-chorus face reveals (we can ignore the ones we don't like i just like how rvb does character animation) everyone lives in the end
#that being said if wash and epsilon do not have a Fucking Conversation about ai fuckshit i am going to fucking lose it#he sounded so desperate in that trailer#so fucking scared#also i love his armor#the brown stripes suit him. they look like gold that has lost all of its shine#which fits him#and i know the face reveal is kinda a hot take since people have their hcs theyre attached to for how characters look#but again i just like how they animate expressions#i know that one wont happen though#and thats the one ill bitch the least about#anyway i am looking forward to this#rvb#red vs blue#rvb restoration#red vs blue restoration#wash rvb
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Idk man. Not a fan of the theory / headcanon about Moonpaw hearing the voice of the sibling she absorbed in utero. That gets a little too close to "fetuses have souls" for me to feel comfortable around and I seriously hope that's not what's gonna happen. Chimerism doesn't make you into two people. It's not conjoined twins. She's just one cat made with two sets of genes. We don't have to get too weird about how bodies just naturally turn out sometimes. Idk.
#(obviously this is just my opinion and you're free to ignore it. everyone is entitled to their own opinion)#maybe I'm also a little tired of uncommon physical conditions being used in weird ways in fiction#sometimes people just look or act a certain way and it doesn't make them psychic or whatever#i should honestly just block the moonpaw tag bc i am tired of people being weird about this cat#this isn't even getting into the incest jokes or the ''UMMM ACTUALLY she's not a real chimera'' posts which i am fuuuucking sick of#and I'm not even a person looking for moonpaw posts on purpose!! they just come up in blogs i look at or my for you tab#and I'm already so so so so tired#that said i am looking forward to drawing her later. i already have ideas for her shape and made a quick sketch to come back to someday#i might delete this post later so I don't have to think about this issue when i look at my blog. idk. I'm just venting#pigeon mews
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MADE EDITS i couldn't stop thinking about their outfits and like,, the aspects i liked and thought felt very winx and in line with the individual characters and the aspects i Hated and thought sucked dookie SO i made some edits :)
biggest changes are to musa, aisha, and stella! actually changed the clothes there. flora and tecna i just adjusted the colors (in flora's case to further unwhitewash her and saturate her clothing more and in tecna's case to bring back her pink hair and green and cyan).
explanations on changes below!
I'll start with the simpler edits!
For Tecna, I just wanted to play around with her og colors lol I actually LOVE her new look and I would love to see this be the final design!! It's SO tecna and fits in with the rest of the winx i love it soo much :') I do think they should bring back her pinker hair though! And again, would love to see the green and cyan make an appearance. I feel like neon green is just very classy techy character. And while it is cliche, I do love it akjgd plus I think it looks good on her and makes the other colors stand out more imo! (but maybe this new, pinker look will make people like her more idk :') justice for tecna my beloved :'))
For Flora, I darkened her skin more for obvious reasons. And then I added more saturation to the colors and added back the warmer tones they took out. Imo, the darker, desaturated, and cooler toned look for Flora only works in very specific circumstances. Color theory rainbow!! Bring back the brightness! The color!! The warmth!!
Which brings me to Stella ohmygod,,, please,,,, please stop desaturating her she looks so pale and sick and lifeless STOP please :') Anyway lol, obviously brought back the brighter orange! I also took away the random sleeve. It's cute but it just didn't feel very Stella at the time? The tube top look is Very Classic Stella (very much giving s3 casual but in orange). Tbh, I don't love the dress itself, but I do think it looks better once you add more of Stella's colors. I also tanned her skin more and made her hair more yellow + brighter! Just like with Flora, color theory is important for media!! This Stella design just does Not give sunny, optimistic character. It's giving the gap (aka BORING aljdhg)
Aisha's design stumped me for a bit, I won't lie. I couldn't figure out exactly what I didn't like. But I got it!! One, way too symmetrical imo. Yes, Aisha does have some very symmetrical looks, but like 80% of her looks are very asymmetrical. I also didn't love that it didn't incorporate more of Aisha's powers. It really just went for *vaguely sporty* and didn't try to bring anything else to the table. And some people might say that Aisha's og looks were like that too, but I disagree! They told a story! She's a brave adventurer, a dancer, a princess, etcetc!! This tells me "oh yeah this girl might like to do yoga. cool."
Anyway! So I made Aisha's pants baggier because let's be fucking real for a sec. Changed the design on the pants slightly to make it asymmetrical and incorporated a wave design. Took away that bottom shiny fabric of her shirt. I tried to keep it but it just wasn't looking great with the pants changes tbh. Added small waves to the bottom and made it one shoulder! Also added her classic little circle wave design 1. because it's cute and 2. so Musa wouldn't feel so out of place with a design. Tbh, I still don't love the pants... I think maybe that hem could be higher?
For Musa! I've spoken about this before but I do not like the bodysuit. I liked the concept and the vibe it brings, but it looks So uncomfortable and s1 Musa was alllll about being comfortable. It's why so many people think she hates wearing dresses (even though she doesn't). So I kept the vibe, but changed it to the same mesh that's on her right arm! Which like!! I didn't even see that until I started the edit!! It's so,,, unnoticeable which like,, isn't a bad thing? But also? I think the mesh being on her stomach too makes the design as a whole a little more balanced (and it's a nice callback to her og magic winx!). As for the color changes, really just wanted to go back to her reds and dark blues. I don't Hate the color scheme, but I also don't love it. And I think this feels a lot more like Musa yknow? Also darkened her hair cause fuck that dude
Anyway lol it's not the best edit so don't look too hard :') I just wanted to explore what I liked about the designs and what I didn't. We did get to see a little bit of Bloom's casual, but I want to wait until we get a closer look to speak on it/make edits. Also tbh, I don't really love Flora's outfit but I didn't want to completely redesign her and I concede that this is something she would wear (although it feels more like s4 cowgirl time/s5 casual and not s1 new student time but Fine). For now, I'm gonna pretend the trailer showed us my edit of Stella and not what it really showed. I can't get pale pinterest stella out of my head,,, aggghhhh
#tbh i don't love stella being monochrome that much but trust me the pink wasn't working#as a whole though the goal was to make it feel more like Them and make them feel more individual!!#as others have mentioned.. the constant baby pink is Sooo annoying and it makes them blend together way too much#its not a cohesive vibe its just 'here lets all wear pink for no fucking reason'#but anyway while i don't Love stella being all orange i feel like it doesnt stand out tooo badly thanks to tecna#also again i still really hate aisha's pants :') idk they look SO off to me#the wave was a big brain moment but i fear not even that could save her#i think im gonna do another edit for her later!#anyway. thoughts? comments? concerns?#tbh i am loving seeing all the positivity toward the new outfits#like yes ive seen my fair share of hate but i feel like fans are genuinely looking forward to this#and keeping an open mind even with the things they don't love!#i love that :') we haven't had that in the winx fandom since like.. world of winx maybe... and even that had a lot of hate#because of the whitewashing especially which valid but even smaller things that were just Different#so its really nice to see people so genuinely excited and looking forward to it!! its probably helping the morale at rainbow lol#winx club#mine.edits#mine.art#winx club spoilers#kind of i still dont know if these are Final designs but im going to treat them as such since we're getting closer to the release
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In honor of the release date for the Vengeance Saga being announced, I'm announcing that I will not apologize for the person I'll become when Get in the Water is released.
#I got recommended a clip of Get in the Water on youtube about a year ago which is how I found Epic#I am looking forward to it so much#I'm also intrigued by what the full Charybdis song will sound like#epic the musical#epic vengeance saga
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