#which hurts my heart at the same time because of their health problems

[nabsthevulture]

What are your plans for your next pup? I see you talking about it every once in a while and I was interested! I actually just got my first puppy, she's a yellow lab and her name is Cleo!

Ideally I would like my next dog to be a Beauceron, but I'm thinking more likely is that I will get another GSD. I already have a name picked out and everything. I've been looking at Beaus since like 2014 when I got Kaine, but there's a lot that will go into that. I'll get one eventually, but like I said I think I'll end up with another GSD when Kaine is gone.

EDIT: Tell Cleo I say Hi!!!! Congrats on your new baby!

[heaven4lostgirls]

Can you pretty pleaaassse write for regulus black x reader angst

Where they were friends and got along really well and because they're both pureblooded there families arranged marriage for them. But then regulus gets paranoid and starts to think badly of you and thinks that you were only ever nice to him so that your parents would arrange marriage. And he thinks that you hold the same awful pureblood beliefs as both of your parents and he is afraid to say anything about it incase you tell his family that he doesn't really believe that muggles are lesser. Then regulus is quite distant and mean in your marriage and he eventually comes to his senses when he realises how upset you are and how much his distance hurts you and he can hear you crying yourself to sleep

pairing: regulus black x fem!reader

warning: angst, regulus is a bit of a dick but he comes around ! miscommunication (i’m sorry✊)

summary: request above

authors note: hi! sorry this took forever, i’m really bad at keeping up with requests but i hope you enjoy this, i always say im hoping to get back into writing but it’s always touch and go, my mental health isn’t great a lot of the time and uni just piles on so much more, hopefully you guys understand ! 🫶🩷

regulus wasn’t used to people sticking around, he had been abandoned by the only person he ever truly cared about and left to fend for himself. which was why he assumed when news of his engagement to you was announced by his parents, at a shared dinner party for the sacred 28, you two would simply…co-exist. never fully acknowledging the others presence yet acquaintances at best.

what a shock to his system it was when he grew to know what a wonderful person you were, never abrasive or hostile like his parents, never boastful like most of the pureblood families he knew, instead you were the embodiment of everything he never knew he wanted, a calm to the raging angst inside of him he couldn’t quell after sirius had left, and that alone left him scared more than any of his parents threats to present him to the dark lord as a servant.

you two had formed a quick friendship due to the circumstances surrounding your fast paced engagement, you were set to marry next august and your engagement had only been announced in april. regulus had no problem performing his duties to his family, however this one came with little to no reluctance from either of you as feelings of love and respect blossomed from the friendship you two shared.

however, as time passed, regulus could slowly but surely feel his walls he had fought so hard to build up, crack. he couldn’t fathom why someone like you would feel so comfortable around him, how you somehow managed to worm your way under his skin like no one ever could, not even sirius.

except as time flew by, he had somehow found some of that “gryffindor courage” as james potter always declared, to tell you about his feelings, emphasizing that if you wished, he would never bring up again if you did not reciprocate and you two would still move forward together into marriage as friends.

to his surprise, you were much more welcoming to his feelings than expected, you two had shared a small kiss as you leant your forehead against his and claimed “i was just waiting for you to see me.”

since you two were already a couple in the eyes of the public, the only people he had really had to tell was your shared friends. as expected, they all reacted joyfully to the news and you both carried through the rest of your year no longer pretending to be in love, but actually falling into it.

however, at the beginning of your 6th year, you could tell something had shifted between yours and regulus’ dynamic. no longer was he patient and comforting, instead he was judgmental and fast to anger. some part of you knew it had to do with his parents but you didn’t have the heart to push your questions onto him.

as time passed you watched as he distanced himself from you, pushing away your touches, rejecting your offers to hang out, blowing you off when he would eventually agree. you could only handle so much of his behavior before you eventually broke when telling your friends.

“i don’t know what to do anymore, it’s like walking on eggshells whenever he’s around because im scared of him snapping at me for breathing too loud” you vent to your friends as you place your hands on your eyes to try keep the tears at bay.

“how longs this been going on y/n?” pandora asks softly as she shares a concerned look with lily. you blubber out as answer that sounds like “a couple of months” as tears leak past your palms.

“i can’t keep doing this” you emphasize to them both, “and you know i can’t break up with him because we still have to get married-“

“break up?!” lily questions surprised, “you can’t be serious y/n.” she says as she places a hand on your shoulder.

“i think you need to talk to him” pandora says again as she smiles softly at you as you look at her with tear filled eyes.

“…what if he doesn’t want me anymore?” you whisper, too afraid to say it out loud in fear of it coming true.

“oh love” lily coos as she drags you into a small cuddle with her and pandora, “you’re gonna need to ask him to know that y/n” she whispers as she rubs your back.

you sigh heavily and nod before looking at the both of them. “okay” you concede as you try and form some sort of a plan to confront regulus, your anxiety spikes at the thought of him not wanting your relationship anymore, you couldn’t imagine a marriage with the man you loved where his feelings weren’t reciprocated.

the next day, you planned to corner regulus at the library before dinner but as you walked up to his table, you heard the voice of not only regulus, but barty as well.

“reg, you know you’re hurting her by ignoring her” barty says with a sigh as you pause behind a bookshelf near the table to eavesdrop.

“you know better than i, that i can never be with someone who thinks the way she does…its disgusting” regulus says with a sneer but you can hear how disappointed he is by the statement.

disgusting? he thinks i’m…disgusting? what is he even talking about? you don’t think you’ve ever done anything remotely bad enough to be called disgusting.

“how do you know she thinks like them?” barty implores and you hear regulus sigh, “you’ve seen how she acts when the sacred 28 talks about the muggles” he says and you frown, part of being a child of one of the sacred 28 meant you had to act your part, regulus knew that better than anyone else. so why was he suddenly judging you and telling barty about your issues when he couldn’t even give you the time of day?

“i don’t know if i can marry someone like her” regulus says again and your heart drops. someone like her, you repeat in your head, every insecurity you ever worked through, comes back in tenfold from that sentence alone. you stumble on your feet from the flashes of tears and heartache from all your deepest points of sorrow.

you shake your head and straighten your back before reminding yourself, if he wants a true pureblood wife, that’s what i’ll be. quiet, docile,…perfect.

your wedding approaches faster than you can imagine, dress fittings, bridal party dresses and events all pass with a blur. never fully there, you encompass a state of numbness.

regulus and all your friends notice how you slowly fall into the facade you usually have in front of your parents, instead this time, it never breaks in front of them.

regulus waits for you to come to him, to seek his comfort like you have so many times before, but it never comes.

he spends his nights worrying about you, questioning if it’s something he’s done, you’re still sweet and loving to him, just…more hollow than you were before.

you embody the perfect pureblood princess and he couldn’t hate it more, he hears from people around you how you’re not sleeping, always coming to class in a perfect face of makeup everyday when you usually only used skincare, in beautiful dresses for hogsmead days when you used to use comfortable clothes.

he tries to talk to you, to question why you’ve somehow flipped the switch out of nowhere, but they go unanswered.

the day of your wedding, he can see past the makeup, your sunken in eyes and red eyes. he still places a soft smile on his face as you stare passively into the distance, never making eye contact with him while saying your vows.

the distance between the both of you grows larger as he starts to believe that this was the life you truly wanted, a prince and princess, a couple born out of need not out of love, arranged perfectly to fit the narrative of pureblood royalty.

however, one night he falls asleep later than usual and hears you cry into your pillow, small pleas of being good enough for him as your body shakes with small sobs. he resists the urge to reach out to you in fear of you not recieving his touch well.

he lies awake as he hears you say, “i’m not like i was before, please let him love me now, oh merlin please” you whisper with clenched hands and eyes that leak tears. his heart breaks at the thought of you existing to please him.

he had seen how his mother had done the same for his father, how she turned cold and abusive with no comfort and love from her partner, how she pushed her self hatred onto her children. how that pushed her eldest son to run away.

he spends the next week racking his brain for what he could’ve done for you to think that way before he realises that the summer after his 5th year, his parents had implored him never to give you anything more than the bare minimum because nobody could be trusted. he remembers pulling away from you and pushing you away in fear of you using him for his fortune.

the idea that his parents had made him internalize that you would never love him just for him, you were moving into this marriage not because of your shared love but because of necessity. his heart drops out of his chest as he realizes all of this must have translated to you and that he now had a lot to make up for.

he plans out meticulously how to get his wife back and slowly but surely, he does. it starts with small things, a single flower that you had told him once you liked the smell of on your nightstand, a pair of earrings you remarked look beautiful when window shopping. a handwritten letter telling you goodmorning and his favorite things about you in your bag before class.

your initial confusion morphs to anger at the thought of changing yourself all for him to want you to go back to the self he called repulsive. you don’t respond to his initial attempts to woo you, but as weeks and months pass, he doesn’t give up.

he speaks to you, really speaks to you, asking you about your day, how he can help you when you’re not feeling well, what you need whenever he leaves the house, small compliments about your cooking or how the colour of your dress matches your eyes.

you two start sharing small good mornings and good nights when going to bed, which then translates to small hand holding or shared touches between each other. the ice around your heart slowly but surely starts melting whenever he’s around, you quickly become accustomed to his quick kisses on the cheek whenever he leaves the room or house.

he holds you at night as he whispers sweet promises of never letting you down again, grasping your face to look into your eyes whenever he compliments you to let you know how much you mean to him.

your heart is now warm and full at the thought of his presence, no longer a shell of yourself, slowly but surely healing with his sweet actions.

[mykoreanlove]

on being real

“I don’t want to date you anymore, Jackson.”

The silver fork he was holding in his left hand fell onto the marble floor, crashing the silence caused by your announcement. Jackson was visibly irritated, big frowns on his face.

“You… what? Why?”

For days you had been practicing this moment, imagining how you would explain your reasons and set him free. And even though you went over this moment hundreds of times, you were not prepared for the gravel pit of anxiety in your stomach. You didn’t do this because you didn’t want him, no. Your feelings were as strong as ever, but Jackson never opened up, he never let you take a look behind his porcelain façade. You decided to no longer waste your time with someone that only portrayed his good sides.

“I don’t feel like knowing you, Jackson. You only show me your good sides, you never share your problems with me. I just…”, you stumbled to find the right words.

“Say it, y/n”, he urged you with a serious tone.

“I feel like I’m dating a fake.”

Ouch, the pit grew bigger.

Jackson hid his face behind his hands, shielding himself from you. You didn’t think it would affect him that much, but his silent sobs gave him away.

“I’m sorry, Jackson.”

It didn’t take long for him to change into his real self, which you finally saw for the first time after months of dating. His eyes, always sparkly but never serene, turned dead, drained from life and love. You silently gasped, surprised to see the abyss behind the veil.

Jackson broke out in laughter as he wiped away his tears.

“Dating a fake, huh?”

Tears started to form in your eyes, seeing him like that broke your heart.

“What do you want to know, y/n? How broken I really am? You think you’re going to love that?”, he spat sarcastically.

You couldn’t answer, you didn’t dare to. Jackson took another sip of his drink, grimacing in pain.

“Shall we talk about my crippling depression, then? You want to know what that’s like? To lie awake every night wondering if this is the life I want, the one that I deserve? Shall we talk about the accompanying anxiety which is clouding my mind 24/7? Am I doing enough? Am I true to myself? Is this really who I am? Shall we talk about my sweaty hands and rapid heartbeat? Me wondering if I’m about to drop dead any minute? Is that it?”

He paused and observed you, not understanding the reason behind your tears.

“Or shall we talk about my health problems? Did you notice how badly I’m griding my teeth? Should I tell you that my jaw is tense as fuck and my teeth are overly sensitive? That drinking and eating anything but warm liquor is making me wince in pain? You think I’m this skinny because I’m on a diet? No, y/n, far from it. Should I tell you how frustrated I am because I have tried literally anything, and no one can help me? You wanna know what that’s like? To be helpless in your own body? To be betrayed by your own fucking body?”

Your eyes wandered to the glass in his hands, finally understanding why he was always drinking so much. Jackson started pacing through the room while bearing his darkest secrets.

“Or shall we talk about the people I’m seeing for help? Because I’ve seen them all, y/n. I searched through whole fucking Asia, and everybody is saying the same shit. It’s all in your head, Jackson. Do you know how fucked up that is? Neither antidepressants nor the shit for my teeth is helping me and you wanna know why? Because apparently, it’s in my head. My body is hurting because my soul is hurting. Isn’t that hilarious?”

Jackson spilled some of his liquor, trying to make a point.

“Or let’s not forget about my love life, y/n. You wanna know what that’s like? You wanna know how much energy it took to portray myself as normal? I wanted you to think of me as strong and healthy and full of life but now you’re breaking up with me because that was, what, fake? I did all of this so you would never realize how broken, fragile, and weak I am. But I guess that wasn’t the right way to go about it either.”

Another layer of sadness washed over his face, tinting his brown eyes in even deeper despair. Jackson took a seat on the couch and hid behind his hands again, wondering why he told you all of this if you were already over him.

He flinched in surprise as he felt your arms around him, hugging him tightly. For once he just gave in and hugged you back, crying silently in your embrace.

“Thank you for telling me, Jacky”, you whispered sweetly into his ear. “This is exactly what I wanted.”

He looked at you surprised, so you explained yourself.

“I fell in love with you because you were a real one. Standing in your truth and being true to who you are. That’s how I have always perceived you, anyways. But then when we started dating, and I never got to know that side of yours. You were too perfect, in a way. And I don’t want perfect. I want real, Jacky.”

His thumb brushed along your cheek, tracing down to your jaw.

“How could you possibly want that?”, his hoarse voice croaked.

You chuckled in response.

“I’m not perfect, Jackson. And I don’t want to be. Don’t you think I get depressed from time to time? We can cry together then. And yes, the thing with your teeth sucks. But I will love you even if you get new ones. And besides that, my teeth don’t hurt but my head does. Often, I get insufferable migraines and have to lie in a pitch-black room, I flinch at light like Dracula himself. Do you think I like that? No, but we all have something. You make it sound like you have to be perfect to be loved. But you don’t.”

The newfound spark in his eyes was noticeable, if only for a quick moment.

“I agree with the people you’ve been seeing, though. Your soul is hurting, Jackson. And that’s okay.”

You grabbed his hand and squeezed it lightly, looking at him hopeful.

“You don’t have to heal on your own though. I’d like to help… if you let me?”

[thebomb-thebird-andtheburntbitch]

w.count: 900+ - 'growing old' w this god of old :') (mentions of death of old age!)

morax was a god able to change and alter his appearance at will. he had done so in the past several times. the whole reason he was able to appear as he does is because he had learned to hide away his godly- or even previously lesser-known dragonic- features. of course, he could hide his horns, his tail, and his scales, but there's charactistics that are far more difficult to conceal with such magic. such as his golden vein that run along the expanse of his body. even his geo-darkened arms were able to be altered to the same shade of the rest of his skin.

still, when morax had 'died' and retired as rex lapis to live among his people as simply the wise zhongli, he didn't intend to alter his image for the foreseeable future.

you were the being that had changed his mind.

even though he was more than well aware that you were mortal and he would long outlive you, he never considered his own disposition and how it would look to outsiders. additionally, the thought that you would contemplate leaving him one day when your age catches up to you for that very same reason never crossed his mind.

"wouldn't it be for the best?" you ask him one afternoon when the light of the sun was bright in his golden eyes. "if people see me aging and growing older year by year, but you remain the same... won't that put your identity at risk?" it twists his heart. you weren't chasing him off, you were trying to be reasonable and prepare him for a possible future he couldn't avoid even if he wanted to. you only wish to protect him and his secret. he knows that, but still-

"that is still very far off, my dear," is how he tries to reassure you. however, after you had brought it to his attention, he already made a decision on the 'matter 'problem' which is your human life span. instead of leaving or relocating somewhere where people wouldn't recognize him before coming back in a set amount of time to start all over, zhongli already knows he would choose to stay by your side despite the risks.

zhongli never voiced aloud how the both of you would proceed with his immortality going forward again. he didn't feel the need to bring it up twice and you didn't have it in yourself to ask again; it wasn't like you wanted to leave him in the first place, so you just decided to let the chips fall where they land.

however, the first time you gleam into his own choices was years later. you didn't know when it happened, but somehow his appearance began to slightly shift and alter. along the course of your aging, he mirrored you.

crows feet crinkled in the corners of his eyes. smile lines formed deeper when his lips would curl. his brown hair would gain new grey streaks seemingly overnight. he would soon acquire a cane that would aid him in keeping his daily routine of walking around the harbor (as well as add a touch more elegance into his gait). the veins along his hands would grow to become more noticeable under his gloves as his wedding band continued to sit comfortably on his happily married hand.

zhongli was hardly an actor; but hearing him talk to those younger than you and himself like a proper old man was more amusing than you ever thought it could be.

that was another thing she slowly altered. his voice slowly began to gain more gravel than it did before. he would clear his throat of his 'older age' before speaking with a tone that sounded like a proper human man getting on in years.

it was a beautiful and soothing illusion he decided to show you. but even something kind and wonderful like spending your life growing old with the man you loved since your youth held its pains.

when you were ill, zhongli could do nothing but watch and hope his nursing and the skilled doctors in liyue could bring you back to health. when you got hurt, he couldn't properly relate to your pain as another mortal man could. when your body began to experience real, human pain from aging all he could do is feel like a fraud since all of his aging was just a fabrication of the real thing.

still, even when all those things happened and his identity as a god was thrown back into his face, you always thanked him for doing such kind things for you. you never once called him out for being a fraud, or faking being human. you never frowned at him or scolded his actions. you always just smiled.

even when he sat besides your aged, wrinkled and graceful body as you lay in your bed, you just smiled at him. his fraudulent wrinkled hand that held your authentically aged one still held the affection of a young man in love. the tears that gathered his still vibrant golden eyes still saw the person he loved years ago.

all he did was blink and before he knew it, the person he loved had aged and smiled their life away before his very eyes. the same eyes you begged him never to dilute the hue of.

it wasn't fair just how quickly the human lifespan comes and goes compared to his own. it takes zhongli several long years and another staged 'human' death as and 'old man' before he's able to stand before your grave with the same face you remember meeting a long, long time ago.

this new zhongli kneels before your resting place, fondly with your favorite flower in his gloved hand.

[deaddovedecadence]

hello ! I hope you’re well I wanted to ask you if are planning to do something about the platonic batfamily ? Thank you for your work, you’re literally my favorite blog 🥰. (sorry if there are spelling mistakes)

Ah thank you for the question i love it so much! What we’re doing today is breaking down each yandere and how they treat you in order

Alfred: very gentle, very caring. He makes you think that he’s on your side only to betray you if you ever try to run away. His loyalty is to the health and well being of the family and if you left it would nasty for all parties involved. He isn’t overly possessive, and is the most likely to let you out and about (so long as you’re with him or another trusted member of the family)

Bruce: At least you were a tool for making up with his son, but he grew to see you as his own child. You’re younger then Dick so he treats you as such, and is very unlikely to let you out of his grip,/let you out of the house because he’s paranoid. He’s the ultimate possessive yandere, wanting to keep you safe in the house at all times. He’s like this with his children too but because they’re fighters/have proven themselves it’s a lot different

Dick: Good luck with this. Dick sees you as someone who deserves childhood, who deserves to be young, so he treats you younger then you actually are. He’s very possessive, and almost doesn’t realize that you’re capable of taking care of yourself and he’s ver y smothering because of that. He’s the type of yandere to be in his own world and not really see. things as they actually are..

Jason: Caretaker to the fucking MAX. He likes. taking care of people and things that he considers his and you are absolutely one of those things to him. He needs to tak3 of things because it makes him feel real, feel. focused again especially when he’s tired of angry. The least likely to ever hurt you but will break you mentally if he has to.

Cass: does not get it, at first. She doesn’t understand why her family wants something that she perceives as helpless as one of them. Cass is all about getting her shit done and you interfere with that. It isn’t until she sees Jason visibly relax around you and stay in the same room as bruce that she understands. You keep things stable which means that you need to stay. She‘ s obsessively, can be cruel and uses physical punishment like forced dancing or sparring to keep you in check if you leave or deny your place in the family.

Tim: Oh good fuck. Tim is pretty close to yandere in canon, he’s terrifying, possessive of what he thinks is his and cruel as hell. with you he’s cruel cold, only to turn gentle when he deems it the right moment. Tim wants to break you because that means that you won’t run away and try to go and be somewhere else (with someone else). Tim is sadiastic and if he and damian are working together it’s best to go and beg jason for sanctuary from them.

Duke: Honeslty you aren’t sure whether he’s like you or like them at first because Duke is so easy doing, listens to your problems so well and makes. you feel like you’r valid for being angry. It’s all true what he says, it’s just that he also is on his family’s side about you and is slowly working his way into your heart in a way that the others can’t because they’ve never been where you (and he) has. Duke is the gentle yandere unless you really manage to make him angry by getting hurt in any way.

Damian: I wish you the best of luck. Damian is the son of thalia and bruce. His ver y nature is to be possessive over anything that he considers his and you are his. You’re his older sibling in a way that Dick is, someone to be trusted, someone to ask questions too, but that does not mean he’ll let you escape. If anything the thought makes him infuriated and he’s likely to blow up. Damian is obsessive, and sadistic, willing to do anything if it means that you’re safe at home with him.

[xjulixred45x]

OKAY, I know I should work on the requests but I recently discovered the story of the game HADES and as a Greek mythology nerd that I am, I became obsessed, so I ask you to imagine this scenario that unfortunately I have not seen anywhere:

Platonic Yandere Zagreus+ Reader x son! reader

let me explain myself.

Imagine that we are between Hades 1 and Hades 2, where everything seems to be going well for Zagreus and his partner, both living in the Underworld and occasionally visiting the surface, but paying attention to their duties in general.

then they have a son! reader. Their pride and joy.

Zagreus probably thought that it would be difficult to have children without any kind of divine intervention, so seeing that his son was born alive by himself was a great relief and even pride, because it meant that he probably wouldn't have the same problem as his father, he would be freer than him.

son!reader ends up being a child who is super spoiled by his parents thanks to this, filled with affection not only from them, but from the vast majority of the beings in the Underworld, Achilles being a kind of Fun Uncle, Meg a cool teacher, Thanatos and Hypnos second father figures, etc.

even HADES loved this child.

the only problem that son! reader has is that, like his father and mother, he was very curious and stubborn. which led to the incident before he reached puberty.

It was an occasion where Zagreus and Reader were away due to a hasty visit to the surface, so son! Reader, like every child, did what he was told not to do:

get off the safe path.

From then on son! reader can die however you prefer, perhaps by the Hydra, by one of the enemies on the upper levels, by the river Styx, but my favorite excuse is that he found where the titans were and fell from the shock, dying instantly ( drawing a parallel with mythological Zagreus).

And when Zagreus and his partner find out? God, to say that they are devastated would be an understatement for their pain.

Everyone is hurt and sad about what happened, everything feels so silent now, heavy, empty...

to the point that the prayers of the beings of the Underworld reach the ears of Zeus, who in a certain way feels sorry for his brother for having lost a grandson and Zagreus for his son, who decides to apply Dionysus's typenof move, that is, leave the heart of the child in the womb of a human woman.

Zagreus is difficult to convince, he wants Zeus to do this directly with the reader, but if this is the only alternative, he will accept it. More when the mental health of both has also been seriously affected by this(Zagreus having mutilation and Self harm tendencies bc of grief and incapility of die? yep, although he'll probably be very worried if reader starts to seem like them too.)

And so the agonizing wait begins, the weeks go by, the months go by, and Zagreus and the reader are increasingly anxious and impatient. more distressed with a new day of silence at home, with each day of inactivity, with each hour that their child's room is empty...

But the wait pays off, when Zeus gives them the news that the time has finally come for them to go look for their son.

Zagreus takes off at full speed, with various bonuses given by people like Thanatos, Charon, some Olympians, hell, even his father goes easy on him.

and he begins to search quickly with the little time he has on the surface for his son, being guided by Zeus to where his son was.

When Zagreus was beginning to weaken and felt that he had come in vain, he heard it. a laugh, a small voice that he hadn't heard in a long time.

His son...alive again...

Here things are separated a little. two different scenarios.

1: SON! READER REMEMBER HIS LIFE LIKE GOD

This case is the fluffiest of all and definitely the least yandere.

when son!reader sees Zagreus he's running out to meet him, melting the godling's heart, relieved that his son is not only back in body, but in spirit.

They both return to the Underworld and receive them all with great joy, they ruffle the child's hair, give him gifts, Dionysius may even throw a party in honor of his return.

but it doesn't mean there isn't Yandere stuff.

Zagreus becomes incredibly overprotective of son! reader, to a disturbing degree, now practically does not leave him alone. the same with reader. If he is not with one, he is with another.

they make son! reader accompanies them everywhere and can only play with their supervision, only them, not anyone else. because the previous one was very effective last time.

I think the reader would use the death of son! reader like an auk to keep him fearful and thus avoid another incident. in general both being very obsessive with this new opportunity to have their son back.

Although it's not so bad, Zagreus and the reader continue to bombard him with love and affection, bringing him gifts, reading to him or telling him legends, even now they take him to the surface with them! It is within the scope of a happy ending, they could overcome their unhealthy tendencies over time...I hope.

The only way in this scenario for both of them to become yandere as is is if some person on the surface is "badly influencing" son! reader to be more independent or worse, go to the battlefield.

There Zagreus will directly get rid of said influence with the help of Thanatos.

Now, the most intense and interesting scenario.

2: SON! READER DOES NOT REMEMBER ANYTHING ABOUT HIS LIFE AS ZAGREUS'S AND READER'S SON

Imagine that you are an apparently normal child with some strange characteristics (like maybe red feet or heterochromia), living peacefully with your parents that you have known all your life as a mortal... and FROM NOWHERE the fucking GOD OF THE UNDERWORLD comes to tell you who you are HIS child and not of your PARENTS....

practically this reader.

Zagreus would believe that after having spent so much time among mortals his son has forgotten his true lineage and even finds his innocence cute with the whole thing, but they must return to their TRUE home as soon as possible.

Since he is a god, A SON OF HADES, even if the reader's parents love him, they cannot fight for him, so they give him to Zagreus.

Zagreus is overjoyed with this, reader is so confused.

because after all he does NOT know these people, he does not know this supposed father who ripped him away from his birth family, he does not know his supposed mother who greets him with tears in her eyes when they arrive at the damn Underworld.

He doesn't know any of the gods who welcome him warmly, who ruffle his hair, who call him cute nicknames, who seem to have known him all his life when they don't.

reader is feeling like some kind of glorified pet. an empty replacement. This is not his house, his HOME.

while Zagreus and reader think that their son must be feeling very shocked by all the information and come home that they simply shower him with more love. much to the child's displeasure.

If the reader continues to insist that he doesn't really remember them, Zagreus will probably dismiss it as something temporary, which is simply the adjustment after an event as traumatic as dying (he gets it, seriously! he dies every now and then, but he doesn't want to think about on what it must have been like for his son).

while reader will try with Thanatos to make him remember things from the past, show him family photos and portraits that they made before the tragedy, his room, his old toys and stories behind them. all with so much love that the reader feels uncomfortable, as if he were usurping the place of their true son.

I think the reader would be especially uncomfortable if mom!reader were also a goddess, he feels VERY intimidated by both of them, but when they show this very...vulnerable and loving side...he doesn't know what to think.

In this scenario, both Zagreus and reader are more overtly manipulative and yandere. Zagreus can use his thousands of failed attempts to try to get out of the underworld on his own so that reader doesn't even think about doing so, while reader uses the reader's death as a way to guilt trip him so he doesn't leave them.

The reader feels bad for them and their son, but is very afraid of them. More after seeing Zagreus angry.

At first they would see Reader's attempts to escape as something "cute" thinking that he was "imitating young Zagreus" and was not serious. Of course, if he ran into a shade, Zagreus would appear and take him home. simply a game.

But when they were lost for long periods of time, they had a panic attack thinking that the accident had happened again. and when Zagreus found the reader, on a higher level and with scratches, he was furious, almost killing all the beings on that level.

It was enough to solidify the reader's decision to want to leave. This man was not only terrifying, he was dangerous.

I think that in this case there would be characters like Meg, Patroclus, Odysseus, even Thanatos himself who realize the reader's discomfort around his "parents" and even become his only allies in his escape attempts.

but because they isolate him so much, so much to the point that he can only leave the house of Hades if it is with them, no one else, and they see the desire to RUN in his face. They feel compassion for him.

This is how a new story in Hades begins. As a reader you will have to face many powerful deities, shadows, and more to escape not only from the Underworld, but from your delirious new family.

but Zagreus would not be himself if he were not stubborn and persistent . I wouldn't let him run and escape easily. not this time.

Could reader do it? let the game begin.

Shares, reglogs and comments are very welcome!

What can i Say? I'm obsessed over games i will NEVER get to play :,) but at least i'll try to see gameplays.

[n3xxs]

ʚ𝐹𝑜𝑟𝑔𝑜𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑛ɞ

Mu Qing x gender neutral! Reader.

Fluff, Angst

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Hello! I've been away since school started and yeah the whole education here where I live is shitty. But yeah Heaven Officials Blessing is like my new obsession but this fic is gonna take events a little after Xie Lian meets Mu Qing in the anime (donghua) so it's pretty much in the start and there'll be little to no spoilers! Hope you enjoy.

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One thing that was known for the crown prince of Xianle was that he tends to forget things that have hurt him in the past. Mu Qing was one of them. And he didn't think that could happen. Did it have to do something when he left him? He didn't know but something in his heart ached when he asked who he was but he remembed Feng Xin.

"Do you happen to know where Mu Qing is?" Another shaking of q persons head. And then another. And another. You haven't seen Mu Qing in 𝒅𝒂𝒚𝒔. You were starting to get worried for him and his health. You knew of the whole Xie Lian forgot who he was but you didn't know it affected him this much. Maybe because you didn't know why he was forgotten. Maybe you didn't know if he thought he was the one at fault like he always tends to think. That's why you wanted to find him. As his partner you wanted to be there for him and help him confront him and hold him in your arms. Hold him while he cried if he needed and let him talk about his problems as much as he wanted.

A few hours later you found one person who had seen him. He was in his chambers. Lucky for you you knew how to get inside via the key he gave you. When you opened the door you were met with darkness. Closed blinds and turned off lights. You turned on one and there you saw him. Mu Qing who was sitting on his bed with his head hung low. He really was beautiful even in this look. His hair disheveled and his clothes all wrinkly from moving too much. They closed the door and when they turned to look at him Mu Qing was already looking at them with clear eye bags under his light eyes. They came closer to him and sat down next to him putting a streak of hair behind his ear.

"I know what happened with Xie Lian but I don't think you should think too much of it. He just needed a little push that's it" You gave him a reassuring smile and he looked away from your face "It's not like that" his voice was raspy and could be heard clearly in the quiet room that they were in. She looked up at him and held his cheeks so he was now looking at them "Why are you getting so worked up over it? You don't have to its not like he hates you." He pushed your hands away "He forgot me!" He yelled and that left you speechless. You didn't expect that but you weren't gonna walk out. You countinued to stay quiet to see if he was gonna say anything else "I have hurted him before so now he forgot me but he remembered Feng Xin. Because he didn't hurt him while I did"

You felt bad for him. For what he thought. You knew Xie Lian didn't hate him. He actually wanted to be friends with him. Even if he did it was clear he was sorry. That he wanted to forgive himself but he just 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧'𝐭. While you were deep in your thought you heard something. You turned your head and you were met with Mu Qings eyes. The same light eyes that's were always stern and weren't showing any kind of emotion were now at the verge of tears. Then you heard his question. "Are you gonna forget me too?" Your eyes widened. 𝐅𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐡𝐢𝐦? How could you forget him? He was the love of your life. You had set your eyes on him from the moment he ascended into the heavens and you were together for more that a century. You could never forget him.

"My love that's impossible" You were again met with teary light eyes and a questioning expression. You giggled "I have loved you from the moment you ascended and I won't stop until something managed to kill me. Which last time I checked is impossible so you are stuck with me" You said proudly and you heard a small giggle looking at the direction of the sound you saw a now smiling and clearly happier Mu Qing. You smiled at him "Thanks my love". You ended up cuddling the whole night with his head either rested on you lap as you played with his bangs or you were cuddled in his arms. Before he and you dozed off to you he kissed you softly on the lips " Good night my love " and with that you both fell asleep in each other's arms.

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Ok so I know I could write more but I'm a bit out of form so excuse me. Also schoolwork is gonna kill me soon and with these extra lesson it like a bonus weight to the already too heavy for me weights. (Idk)

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[mikuni14]

I Hear The Sunspot - Ep 5

I just want to say how special this series is to me. Normally the way this relationship is handled would probably make me drop this series (because I totally read them more like friends, than lovers yet, please don't be mad at me). But here comes something, I don't know how to call it, a simple sincerity? Which is something that happens not that often tbh and which proves how much properly done, honest emotion are needed in BL series not only in general, but which could aslo fill in all the gaps creating a complete whole that in the end makes me unable to tear myself away from the screen 😉

This series touches the heart and mind of the viewer. I really like the fact that the series shows Kohei and his hearing problems from a medical perspective, all this sitting and waiting in hospital waiting rooms, doctors and nurses who take care of him, making appointments, even something like replacing his hearing aid. They show him as a patient and as someone whose life largely revolves around his health problem, who must always take it into account when making every, often the most mundane decisions, as well as the stress and fear associated with the deterioration of his condition. This is not as common as it may seem, because very often illness or disability are treated only as a plot device, something that in romances usually only serves as something to connect lovers in some romantic setting, such as cute caregiving (like in the books that Miho reads), and not something that actively affects the everyday life of the characters. This really appealed to my mind, this respect for Kohei and the viewer's intelligence 🙂 (besides, it would be hypocrisy, calling out Miho for infantilizing and romanticizing Kohei and treating him the same by the plot)

I absolutely love our MLs, their interactions with each other, with their famiy - mom and grandpa, with their friends. How they receive verbal and non-verbal support. Their wide range of emotions, experiences, struggles, reflections, sacrifices. Giving in to emotions on the spur of the moment, but also thinking about them for a long time. Their kindness. And that's what really appealed to my heart 🥺

That's why, despite the fact that I missed a more clear transition from friendship to love with Kohei, I can't bring myself to criticize, because the series makes up for it in other areas.

Kohei is so wonderful, but Taichi steals the show, the actor who plays him is amazing, his appearance, behavior, body language, very pleasant voice. Taichi in his performance, demanding an explanation, crying on those stairs and then appearing as if nothing had happened on the roof to continue his relationship with Kohei and just.. stating the facts matter-of-factly, while Kohei is internally conducting an emotional Olympics… that's Taichi my best boy 🤩

Yep, a special series with a specialest boy who doesn't know his feelings yet, maybe doesn't know how to react to Kohei's kiss and confession, but KNOWS that not reacting at all, that moving away from Kohei even without bad intentions and respecting his wishes, will actually hurt Kohei. And that alone is enough for him to appear by his side, the rest will be figured out along the way. It's his kindness, sincerity and being uncompromising that doesn't allow him to leave Kohei to his despair and dark thoughts.

Kohei's mom remains one of the best in BL series, grandpa is still cool too, because he always gives Taichi space, his friends also show interest, ask questions, and they are completely cool and supportive of Taichi, just like his boss (who with that mustache looks like he's from some anime, I just don't know which one).

It's really nice that Taichi knows about the "Kohei's special burger made with love" (oh, Taichi's face in this scene 🥺), I'm glad it's not a secret anymore. Now I also ask for the "secret" of meeting with Miho to come to light.

Sooo, tbh, I'm a whore for big fan of things like "I can only hear you", or "only your touch can help me", you know the "only you and no one else" trope in love stories. That's why when Kohei said he can only hear Taichi, I was like: oooooh yeah, they're going straight for my throat. Gosh I LOVE IT. This is made just for me lol

🥺

[tartagliad]

Not Wanting to Eat

Summary: how would the boys do when you don't want to eat (but you're hungry)

Fandom: Genshin Impact

Characters: Zhongli, Kazuha, and Alhaitham

Genre: Fluff

G/N reader!

Warnings: reader is a bit sick in Alhaitham's

(a/n: I have eating problems.. maybe I'm too exhausted or stressed..? idk, I'm hungry, but nothing sounds good. Even my favourite food doesn't feel right.. I'm ordering cookies for breakfast and it's 10.30 am rn.. it's dumb.. but idk what else, ehe- it's already nighttime by the time this is up.. this is an indulgent of mine, hehe-)

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He knows something's off about you

Your eating patterns are.. let's just say scattered

In the morning, you usually have breakfast with him, which was pretty early

For the last few days, you would eat when the sun is almost high in the sky

You also ate lunch at 4 or 5 pm and not eating dinner AT ALL-

It genuinely makes him worry about your health.. you're an ordinary mortal, he's scared if something bad happens to you..

Night time comes, both of you were enjoying your time with each other

Both of you are currently in the living room, you reading your documents whilst laying your head on his lap

Zhongli was reading a book. His other hand gently stroked your hair

"mmh.." you made a noise, he then looked at you, "is there something the matter..?"

He scans you, you shake your head slowly, "I'm just hungry.." you said. His eyes widens a bit, "I'll make you something then-"

Before he could finish, you cut him "thanks.. but I don't want to eat.." you then continue reading

Excuse me?? It left him speechless, did he do something wrong to make you like this?

"Love, I've noticed you haven't been eating properly. Mind telling me?" he spoke softly

You hesitate a bit, "it's dumb.. but nothing really taste good.. just thinking about it.. I don't know.."

Now, it left him confused.. "Even something you like?" he asked and you nodded

He sighed, gently cupping your cheek and facing you towards him. "You have to eat at some point, whether you like it or not.."

It's true.. you've been eating just because you need energy.. even if your body refused to..

"I'll make you something.. don't worry, it's not going to be in a big portion.. just small will do.." he left a little kiss on your forehead, then walk to the kitchen to cook :3

You smiled to yourself, "how sweet.." you mumbled

It makes your heart flutter on how caring he is <3

Zhongli comes back to you after a few minutes to give you a cup of tea, "Here, not to worry.. it's a softer brew, it'll help your stomach a bit.." he smiled softly

You hummed as a thank you, carefully taking a sip at it. It does made your stomach better

Knowing that you were comforted by it makes him feel relieved a bit..

..He hopes that you could finally eat properly again.. it hurts him that his gem didn't want to eat :''

Usually at the Crux, it's always a large feast for everyone to gather around and eat

It's normal for you and Kazuha to feast together and both of you never missed it

But now it's a bit different

You told Beidou that you're a bit busy and probably going to end up in the room for a bit

She then gave you the idea that you could eat while working, so she then told Kazuha to bring you some food

You thanked her and it was going smoothly until.. you told him just bring the food to you later

Not only that, when both of you are at Liyue, you refuse to eat anything and told him that he can eat first

..he doesn't want to, okay?? :(

Kazuha won't eat if you're not going to (but he ended up eating because from your whines..)

Although you grab a drink or a bite-sized cake to consume.. it doesn't feel the same

It feels wrong for him to eat a full portion of food while you were only having a snack

He DESPERATELY needed you to eat with him or at least let him feed you with his cooking :(

One night, he decided to confront you about this, he knocks the door

''y/n.. it's me" he spoke, you responded with a hum and he then walks in, like usual.. you're working

"Darling, can we talk for a bit..?" he sat on the bed beside you

You then put your pen down, looking at him, "what is it, Kazu?" you tilt your head.

"I realized that you didn't want to eat.. are you okay?" he pats your head.

You kept quiet, you looked at him, hoping for an answer from you, "I just.. didn't feel like it.. although to be fair.. I am hungry..'' you explained, "nothing really tasted good.. even my favourite foods.." you continued

It saddens him.. not wanting to eat although you're hungry is far too concerning..

"My poor sunshine.." he gently pull you to his chest, you leaned your head more

He hums softly, twirling your hair gently

"I don't want you to get sick.. especially busy like this.." he holds you, sniffing your hair, "try to eat, okay..? it'll make you feel better.."

You nodded slowly, leaning against the desk for support you then rest on the bed beside him

Pulling out a bar of chocolate and snapping it, he then feeds it to you, you bite into it, "See? it's good, right..?" kisses your cheek

"It's.. sweet.." "I know.." he chuckled, pecking your lips

"Try to get some rest too, don't stress yourself out.." he smiled, you hummed as you continued eating the chocolate that he feed you

Just by you eating chocolate makes him happy a bit.. but it still a long way for it to go away.. :")

He knows damn well that you're a hardworker, but not this much-

You've been busy with the reports from the Akademiya

It takes quite a bit of your energy, but that's just how it is..

Alhaitham wasn't concerned about anything, he's glad that you have some productivity

After a bit, he noticed somethings wrong with you

When he prepared some snacks for you in your office, it often left untouched

Also, did I mentioned that you also got a bit isolated (EVEN FROM HIM)??

When he happened to met your friends, they told him that you also refused to go eat with them, even if they forced you, you only asked for a drink (non alcohol ofc)

It makes him worried for you, your work is also starting to get a bit more stressful every minute

Often times also, you came home and just continued to work.. not paying attention to him

..how odd he thought, the usual you would greet him with a kiss

Alhaitham then followed to the bedroom, to his surprised, you're not even resting.. you continued working..

His heart sinks a bit, just when did you stop resting..?

Approaching you, he was caught off guard by your soft whimpers

"y/n, what's wrong?" he went beside you quickly, rubbing your shoulder gently

"..mmh.. I feel sick.." you curled up a bit, trying to hold the pain

Holding you close to him, he gently soothes you, "want to go to the bathroom?" he rubs circles on your back

You shake your head, leaning more towards him, he then pick you up and move you to the bed

"Have you eaten today?" he asked, holding your hand gently, "I didn't saw you go out from your office.."

You look away, not wanting to face him, this made him more greedy for answers. "Is your work stressing you out? If yes, I can help you reduce it."

It sounds great actually, "..a bit.." you looked at him, smiling a bit, "and no.. I haven't eaten anything.." you looked at his hand that was holding yours

He wasn't surprised actually, and you also know that, "What would you like to eat?" he asked, you fall silent again, thinking deeply before then shaking your head, which made him frown

"Sorry.. it's just that every food that comes to my mind doesn't sound good, it makes my stomach uncomfortable.." you answered, "although yes.. I am hungry.."

Rubbing your hand again, he sighed, "How about I'll make you some soup?" it sounds a bit odd since he doesn't prefer eating it, but for you right now, he'll do it. You nodded

"Be right back." he kissed your hand before leaving the room

Although the smell of food that he was making was good, your stomach didn't agree, it churns a bit.. making you curled up again

It took a bit to calm it down, just in time when Alhaitham comes in

"Here.." he sat beside you, gently feeds you the soup, making sure it's not too hot

It hurts him to see you slightly frowned uncomfortably whilst holding your stomach at some of the bites..

Especially when he felt that you were a bit lighter when he picked you up.. :(

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[doctorpandorica]

So Fanfiction, Deadpool and Wolverine, and Logan, made have a fucking epiphany about my mental health. Seeing it sky rocket at the box office, gives me hope that A, I am not alone and B, the world can be a better place. And I have to say, I really do believe both Ryan Reynolds and Hugh Jackman deserve the world.

For the first time in my life yesterday, I looked at myself and thought I look pretty. The FUCKING kicker is I did again this morning and I felt the same way. Maybe just a baby step, but it's a step in the right fucking direction mother fuckers. But, How did I get here (Yes, I'm pulling this shit on you).....

I have horrendous fear of endings and I finally learned....or accepted it's because it's symptomatic of my misery. Things like desperation, depression and anxiety can trick you into the allure of mistaking familiarity as comforting, even when it's hurting you. That you are far less that what you are actually and are deserving of far less than you actually do, that the consequences of our choices are proof that our pessimistic view is the whole of reality.

But, it's only half of the truth and that is the majesty of realism, seeing the glass is both half full and half empty. The best understanding of Pessimism, Optimism and realism can be explained in a quote by William Arthur Ward. Where the three are stuck out at sea on a sail boat,

"The Pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails."

To make the best choices in life you need to see every possibility and my heart goes out to those that are so blinded by pessimism, hope seems like fairy tale. I mean it's hard enough even if you can see things are possible but, it's still a bitch of an up road battle.

Which brings me to one of the most devastating ones in my life, the death of my dad. I always wondered how someone who seemed so sure of himself, could understand my pain so well. In hindsight I knew he had very hard life, it shouldn't have surprised me that he not only had crippling OCD, Anxiety but, depressions that at times reached suicidal ideations.

I was more my father's daughter than I realized, and took those fucking movie, to really appreciate what that meant.

Don't blindly accept things, ask questions.

If I had, I would've realized it's not that I don't care what others think, I'm really fucking depressed. And that's why I don't put effort in what I wear, or personal hygiene or wear make up. Never assume to know who you are, that's part of the majesty of life, that not knowing.

You never truly fail, until you give up.

For more clarity , I would like to add, some words of wisdom from a beloved science teacher,

"If at first you don't succeed, find out why"

Treat people fairly, across the board "Give people a chance"

To be sparingly coupled with, both

Trust your gut

This requires a lot of hard work, with self regulation and introspection. I've found DBT or Dialectical Behavioral Therapy to be very helpful. Which I must add the following because, I was wrongfully diagnosed with Autism (feeds into the dangers of acceptance). My therapist who diagnosed me ironically introduced to me the saving grace that is DBT. But, told me it wouldn't help me because I am autistic which she came to the conclusion based on ...

Flat Effect

Only developed when I hit puberty, the same time I developed depression and anxiety. People don't develop autism later on in their life, they are born with it.

Black and white thinking

If anything I think this is the problem with society and for anyone to say this about me, has obviously never heard me talk about anything. I found this utterly insulting

Anger prone

Repressed emotions and didn't start happening until 20's

Lack of Eye contact

I get really nervous around meeting new people, particularly if they stand really close to me for some fucking reason.  Once I get to know people I have no problem looking them in the eye.

Lack of Socialization

Low self-esteem brought on by my Depression

Social Anxiety and general Anxiety (fear of doing something wrong)

I actually do have a desire to socialize, but mistook relief after social based anxious episodes as me not liking it.

The same was done with someone very close to me, who was told they were Bipolar even though it didn't fit. They chose to trust they 're doctor, and was proven insanely wrong by they're new Doctor who aptly diagnosed them as having Borderline Personality and they are doing so much better.

Anyway I participated in a DBT group for about 16 weeks or so, one of which was diagnosed late in life with a form of autism. And the difference by the end of those weeks only strengthened my faith in DBT.

Don't start anything, but always finish

Don't go looking for a fight but, stand up for yourself when necessary, emphasis on necessary.

As long as people aren't hurting others or themselves, mind your own business

For some people this can be tricky, especially for those guided by their idealized narratives of the world. Again DBT can help with this in the grand scheme of things.

I mistakenly thought, that because I didn't seem to react how I would expect (bad assumptions) that I was fine. Even though, I was able to acknowledge that I was deeply depressed, which I was able to trace back to age 11, which for clarity was 20 years ago. Which fun fact I only discovered in my senior year of high school, followed by my anxiety a year later my first year of college. IT IS NEVER TOO LATE !!! EVEN IF YOU ARE GOING TO DIE TOMORROW!!! HAPPYNESS MAY NOT BE A CHOICE BUT THE PATH TO IT IS!!!

More In-depth analysis of how Hugh Jackman, Ryan Reynolds and Marvel factor into follow in follow up post. Because This post is too damn long, already. Thank you to those who read it all the way through , I wish you contentment.

[mayapapaya33]

I could write a 10 page essay on my thoughts and feelings about "A Bard's Lament" and about Scanlan. How I think a lot of people misinterpret what actually happened IMHO. It feels to me like a lot of people treat that scene like Scanlan is finally telling VM off for being bad friends and kind of cheer him on rather than realizing that he's having a mental health crisis having reached his breaking point and is lashing out.

Establishing some Game mechanics first and foremost, Sam consistently rolled 30+ deception checks anytime one of the others asked him how he was doing or tried to find out if he was having any problems. He is THE great deceiver. He lied to all of them, about everything. He never shared his worries or fears, or his drug problem. Nothing. Anytime they tried to connect with him, he shot them down, deflected masterfully. The other characters LITERALLY had no idea he was having any problems, if the players did anything about his problems after rolls like that it would have been metagaming. It's not that VM didn't care, they didn't know!

Which is frankly how he operated the whole campaign. From day one, anytime any of them asked him a personal question, he make a joke. Of course, Scanlan was a joke character in the beginning of the campaign, but from a character pov, the character treated everything as a joke. He cared about his friends, and they cared about him, they would die for him and vice versa, but he didn't have any heart to hearts with anyone. Slowly over the course of the campaign, everyone else opened up to each other, (or sometimes the narrative forced them to open up cough cough Percy cough cough) and he remained closed off, using humor to deflect any deeper connections. And the way the story went, he was never forced to share.

By the time "A Bards Lament" takes place, he's in a very bad place emotionally and is sad and scared and angry, and he says things to hurt people, not things that are true. (ok maybe some of it was true, but even the true bits were weaponized and honed to be the worst possible interpretations of events in order to hurt, not actually to BE truth. Vax and Keyleth definitely deserved a tuning up after their bs with the dragons. Personally, I'm very proud of Percy for not punching Scanlan for the comments about coming back to Whitestone just so he could be "proud of his name" or whatever, I've never heard such utter bullshit. Then some people are like, hey, why's Percy so mad at Scanlan, huh I fucking wonder? lmfao).

I relate to him in that I also use humor to deflect people and I sometimes wish that people would see what I feel and think; see through me, without me having to tell them. But that is unfair! I'm lying to them! That's on me! Which Is why I want to choke Scanlan out so often probably lmfao, because I understand where he's coming from and can see the mistakes he's making, and I just want to shake him.

I think a lot of people relate to Scanlan but perhaps... how shall I put this delicately... do not have the same level of self-awareness about the self-destructiveness of this particular approach to life and relationships and so feel a catharsis when he blows up at his friends because they also want to yell at their friends for not noticing their pain. Even though they are the ones who have hidden their pain with such skill that it really isn't their friend's fault they're clueless in the first place.

All that said, Vox Machina aren't perfect. They definitely could be better friends, they made mistakes. I just want to talk about the part of this that I don't often see discussed; Scanlan's depression and mental health struggles and their impact on his friendships and his responsibility.

Some people also act like VM bully "poor helpless Scanlan" (TLOVM sort of also acts like this sometimes which is annoying but oh well). When the reality is that Scanlan is a sharp tonged wit that verbally eviscerates his companions on a regular basis and so they treat him how he treats them. It's all banter... right up until it isn't and he's feeling sad and hurt and worthless and suddenly words hurt. But instead of opening his mouth and TELLING ANYONE how he feels, he just lets it build and build until he explodes.

I'm really worried about how TLOVM is going to handle it going forward, because so far they haven't really set up the group trying to connect with Scanlan and that's a mistake. They have a little, but they should do more. The scene with Pike was good, him instantly reverting to clownish behavior the second it got too sincere then him being frustrated with himself. But they really need to do some of that with the others as well and I'm worried they won't have time or won't think it's necessary.

It's HIS responsibility to reach out to others about his declining mental health. He is the one who set the rules of engagement as "Everything is a joke, especially serious things, I am allergic to sincerity" The others follow his lead. There's only so many times you can reach out to someone earnestly and receive a joke back for your troubles before you eventually respect the unspoken desire not to share and stop asking.

A lot of people cite the prank as some monstrous thing that VM did that proves that they don't love or respect Scanlan. Whereas actually, Sam Riegel admitted that at another moment in time, Scanlan would have found it funny. Pike knows that about him, which is why she did it. (Ashley of course, did it to send Scanlan over the edge because she's evil like that and they all adore drama lol). He was just in a terrible place mentally, so it felt like an insult instead of friendship. (idk where he said it, please don't ask, do you have any idea how many HUNDREDS of HOURS of CR I have watched?! It was probably talks machina).

Also, way back in the early episodes of C1 that lots of people skip, I forget which episode it is, but it was when they were under Kraghammer, Grog got his brain scooped out by the mind flayer or that brain creature or something (I'm a little fuzzy on the details). Anyway, they were all very frightened for Grog and they weren't sure they could save him. Once they figured out they could, Scanlan wanted to set up a prank for Grog to wake up to once they healed him (he was brain dead, in a coma or something). Point being Scanlan's a massive hypocrite lol. (which Sam fully admits).

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Now here's my VERY controversial opinion, don't hate me lol, I never actually liked the "what's my mother's name?" thing. It felt very meta gamey, like Sam looked up Percy's parent's names before the session as a gotcha! Not really like Scanlan actually knew their names. So it never hit me the way it was supposed to. But that's just personal taste. It also circles back to my previous points of YOU NEVER OPENED UP TO THEM SCANLAN, OF COURSE THEY DON'T KNOW YOUR MOTHER'S NAME! THAT'S YOUR FAULT!!!! MAYBE IF YOU DIDN'T TURN EVERYTHING INTO A JOKE, THEY'D KNOW HER NAME!!!!

[somber-sapphic]

A Later Problem

Y'all, so much happened today. I got a new piercing, the Drs stole my blood and a creep harassed me on Snapchat. It legit took the poor Dr three tries to get my blood and I think she was super surprised when I didn't yell at her. Good day overall.

[[summary]] All Natasha wants to do is get your fever down. All you want to do is argue with her. (natasha x reader)

Word Count: 1223 -----

For some strange reason, she wouldn't let you shower fully clothed. You really didn't understand, but then again you didn't have any idea what the hell she was talking about. She kept trying to take your shirt off, and she scolded you every time you pulled it back down.

"C'mon Y/N, we need to get you into the shower, and to do so, we need you to take off that sweater." Natasha crooned, her voice showing none of the frustration that she must have felt. You were difficult when you were sick. It wasn't on purpose or anything, you just didn't understand what was happening.

"My shirt..." You mumbled, staring up at her blankly. She smiled gently at you and nodded.

"Yeah baby girl, your shirt. We have to get it off so that we can get your temperature down." You furrowed your brow and placed a hand on your forehead. 

"'m cold Tasha..." You mumbled, garbling the pronunciation. Natasha's eyebrow furrowed and she reached up to touch your head, removing your hand. 

"Your body's making you feel cold, but you're actually burning up." She explained, brushing a few stray sweat-soaked hairs from your forehead. You nodded, because it made some amount of sense. Your body felt heavy and you were pretty sure your nose was running. You'd probably been sick for about three days, but you really hadn't cared. 

Natasha, the woman you most admired, had cared. She had burst into your room earlier that day proclaiming that you were no longer in charge of making decisions regarding your health. Apparently, the other Avengers had been making bets on how long she would last before giving up on waiting you for take care of yourself. 

"Why...no shirt?" You were having a rather hard time holding up your head and ended up resting it on the redhead's shoulder breathing unsteadily. Everything hurt. Regardless of everything, your caretaker was neverendingly patient.

"Because if you get into the shower with a wool sweater on, you'll fall over. What we're going to do is get you in a tank top and shorts, okay? We already got the shorts on, all I need is for you to take off this heavy shirt." She nodded enthusiastically as you blinked slowly at her, trying to comprehend the words she had said. She was talking too fast.

“Your face is nice.” You replied, studying every beautiful feature on her face. The way her lips arched a bit as she smirked at you, the way her eyes crinkled when she smiled, the laugh lines that were forever etched into her skin despite the lifetime of horrors that she had endured.

“Thank you Y/n, your face is nice too.” Tears filled your eyes and you felt a smile spreading across your face as you stared in absolute wonder at the assassin standing before you. She thought your face was nice. Natasha Romanoff thought your face was nice. 

“Sweetie, as adorable as you look right now we’ve really gotta get that fever down. Please, I promise I won’t make you stay in too long.” The woman was getting desperate. She knew that you were stubborn but this was a whole nother level. 

“M’kay. You too?” Natasha let out a sigh of relief and nodded as you finally let her take off your sweater, leaving you in a bra and underwear. Those would stay on. She did the same, willing to do just about anything if it meant getting you in the damn shower. 

She held your wrists and helped you into the shower, wincing at the sound you made when the lukewarm water hit your skin. You had let out a mix between a whimper, sob, and yelp which absolutely broke her heart. The second she stepped into the shower you practically fell against her, your body wracked with sobs. 

“I know, I know Y/n/n. Just breathe, it’s all going to be okay.” She hummed, holding you tightly as you wept in her arms. You seemed incapable of holding yourself up anymore and had given all control over to Natasha, your fuzzy mind not letting you focus on anything except the icy cold and the pressure of your body against hers. 

“Shhh, shh. I’ve got you, sweetheart. I’ve got you.” She kept murmuring soft reassurances to you until you had finally calmed down, having run out of tears. 

Natasha only kept you in the shower for five minutes before shutting off the water and realizing that you were practically asleep against her chest. Your breathing was soft and wheezy and you were clearly struggling to keep your beautiful eyes open. She smiled slightly and lifted you out of the shower, holding you in a bridal carry. 

She toweled you off as quickly as she could, not wanting to wake you in fear that you’d refuse to go back to sleep again. Your fever was down, the warmth of your skin having diminished from that of a roaring fire to a simple dull heat. 

Once you were dry, your hair was still slightly damp (she hadn’t wanted to risk the blowdryer scaring you, she knew that you could be sensitive to loud noises) she scooped you up again, and carried you to her bedroom, wrapped up in a towel. In her rush to get your temperature regulated, she had forgotten to get you a change of clothes and the others were sweaty and gross.

Natasha set you down on her king-sized bed, nestling you amongst the many pillows she enjoyed sleeping with. It felt good to be surrounded by fluffy pillows, it made her happy even though the others would tease her for it. You never had. In fact, you loved her room and wished that you could stay there though you may or may not have had a slight ulterior motive. 

“What am I gonna do with you moy dorogoy?” She asked, stroking your hair back away from your forehead. You stayed asleep as she helped you into one of her old, oversized band t-shirts, flopping uselessly against her with little unhappy sounds. You weren’t quite awake, but you were present enough to know that something was happening.

The assassin stared down at you as you relaxed back against the mattress, letting out a contented sigh. She smiled down at you, wondering how much of your shower conversation you would remember. She truly hoped that you would remember all of it, that would make it a lot easier for her to confess the feelings that had been building ever since the two of you met. 

Regardless of how much she wanted to have the conversation, how much she wanted to be able to hold you and hug you and kiss you, she knew that it would have to wait until later. At least until your fever broke, but probably until you were entirely better. The last thing she wanted was for you to feel pressured into anything. 

It could wait. All that mattered was getting you better. Natasha climbed into the bed beside you, planning to watch TV while keeping an eye on you, but your unconscious mind had other plans. You cuddled up against her and she smiled slightly, tucking you back under the blankets. Even if you didn’t remember any of it, at least she would. 

[xenosagaepisodeone]

it's so funny that this documentary exists. a retrospective on a band that has existed for nearly 30 years that is as tepid as said band's creative output. This is all clearly marketing for I guess younger post-covid nickelback fans who weren't old enough to participate in making fun of nickelback when it was the in thing, but ultimately the documentary has nothing to say because there isnt anything to say. a representative from their label accidentally alludes to this: for a time, nickelback's uncontroversial commercial sound was the only thing keeping the lights on at the studio, and the money they made went on to support the metal artists under the same label (take from that what you will). the beats the doc takes us through are the following: "were small town guys who aggressively marketed and got big because we were in spider-man" "we had some health problems, but we're fine now" "we were a meme and it kind of hurt our feelings, but were fine now" "we had some lows where things were difficult for us creatively, but were fine now". there's even a dramatic point where one band member talks about nervously going back to make amends with a bandmate they had to kick out and....it goes completely fine. No talk of struggles with sex or drugs or family, even! A largely safe, frictionless career, which is probably why this film struggles to escape the confines of it's blatant marketing framing. nickelback was monoculture without a brand in the 2000s (at least Here In Canada). This is How You Remind Me was smattered all over the radio for years (the documentary mentioned at one point nickelback would be played on the radio once ever 3 minutes in the US) but what was nickelback as a band? the exact same as seether or creed or 3 doors down...did I mention that their current drummer is actually the former drummer of 3 doors down? the film is painfully aware that part of the reason why it was so easy to take potshots at nickelback was because of this interchangeable identity but refuses to contend with it. as ryan reynolds proclaims at the beginning and towards the end of the film "it's time to admit nickelback is actually awesome", because if they sound good, what else do they need to really be, right?

if taylor swift is monoculture as horror then nickelback is monoculture as existential horror, specifically. at one point in the doc, chad kroeger says that he doesn't know what he is without nickelback, that the band is more or less his identity, and that all he would be without it is "the guy who makes jokes". this could easily be played up to give some semblance of heart, but I don't think it's necessarily dishonest. at a point, kroeger talks to his brother about how they can't rely on doing covers as often as they do. at his concert he wears band shirts for other bands (not a weird thing on its own btw just in this one context). Hes aware of being "nirvana-lite" and its likely the inspiration behind his infamous ramen hair/beard look. his mom says that being the face of the band is what repels him from getting married or having kids like his brother (do i mention that this doc barely gives a shit about the other members). they mention his brief marriage to fellow canadian export avril lavigne, who is the only person he or his wikipedia article ever reference romantically, and I can't help but wonder if there was some motivation to be a canadian musician power couple behind it all. the documentary predictably makes a big deal about the fact he's from canada, and with the lack of well, Self that is present here I can only assume that "canadian" was meant to fill the slot where "identity" was meant to be.

none of this is even me being mean. I like buttrock. when their songs from the aughts come on the radio, I go "mm...alright" and let it play like i do with old eminem or evanescence. my mom is a nickelback superfan (self professed #1 fan, even) and the copy of All The Right Reasons I bought for her birthday when I was 12 is probably one of the few non-burned cds she still has. and when I ask her what she likes so much about them beyond the passable rock angle, she goes "chad kroeger is so cute n_n"

[ynsvnte]

Gilded Lily — Park Jongseong

— pairing: ex!Jay x gn!reader (ft. Heeseung)

— Genre: angst, post-breakup, moving on, oneshot?

— warnings: crying, mentions of getting old, bad health but it’s not describe

— wc: 1.5k (1565)

— Synopsis: moving on from your ex wasn’t easy. But you knew you had to make to the end. And after all those years of radio silence of not hearing a word from him. He came along one day..and oh boy was it different..

Part one , Masterlist

Now it's been long enough to talk about it

Years have passed by now. And at least to say you haven’t seen Jay. Not once. You still from time to time get the bittersweet feeling. Moving on from him was easier said than done. There was still a tiny piece in your heart. Shouting and wanting his love back. But you knew, knew right in your head that would be a bad idea, and you definitely don’t want to experience the same thing again. The time moving on from him was difficult..is one way to describe it. It wasn’t so easy. Him being your first love, and just breaking you, was very heart wrenching to say the least. It made you realize how fragile you were as porcelain. Just like how porcelain can chipt. Doing damage. It wouldn’t break you instantly but rather slowly. The stages of moving had three as you sorted them out number one being. The beginning, of course. Second is realization, third is the end. You’ve reached the end. Or maybe not…

But with my double vision, how was I supposed to see the way?

The beginning includes lots of crying, lots and lots of crying. It was your first ever breakup, you didn’t expect him to do something like this. He seemed so caring towards everyone. He wouldn’t dare to hurt anyone’s feelings. So why did he hurt yours? That’s a question you would ask yourself. It was hard. The cycle went on for months and months. Maybe 6 months.. crying about a man that didn’t deserve you. Said your best friend. Your best friend supported you all the way from the beginning to the end, and you appreciate it so much. You wanted him back. Still deeply in love with him. You would go through your old photos with him, messages. Memories would flood your mind. Which wasn’t helpful in any way. Your overall health got affected. Mentally, emotionally, physically. Mentally you felt so broken, drained, depressed. You weren’t your usual self. Emotionally crying. Crying. And more crying. He was the perfect man in your eyes. Everything was going perfect, you’ve never doubted him before. But that night you wish you never saw what you saw. She wasn’t just a friend like he used to claim. Sure you let him have girl friends. You never had a problem before. But oh boy were you wrong. It’s stupid to think that you didn’t notice it before. Physically. You wouldn’t even try to get out of bed. Always being drained of energy because of all of that crying. Only getting up to use the bathroom and eating. Yes physically wasn’t the worst but you weren’t in your best state . The break up took a toll on your part. You didn’t know about Jay either. Maybe he was happy with his new lover. Living his best life while you are over here suffering.

Always the fool with the slowest heart

Realization, Luckily having major support from friends and family. They helped you each step. Your best friend helped the most. Always trying to make time for you. Even when she was the busiest person. It made you realize your worth, and how you should move on. That this time you were facing your old problems. You took it slowly not wanting to rush. You started to take care of your health. Deleting any photos of you and him together. And getting rid of old things that made you think of him. You wanted to be a better version of yourself. One that he never should ever destroy and own. You got better day by day. Your smile returned to your face. Everything was going back to how they used to be, when you weren’t broken-hearted. Your thoughts were now very different, having a positive outlook. You now smiled and it wasn’t for him.

Turn off all alarms and lie to me

The end. It’s completely not over. Yet some might assume it is. It’s not for you. You can still feel some part of him in you. You thought you were never going to see him again. You sometimes think back to that day. The day he lost you. You also thought if he ever tried finding you. Which you didn’t think so because he was someone else. It does hurt at times to realize he wasn’t the one for you. And how you were never going to grow old with him, get married. A because of his mistake. You’re very proud of yourself for how far you’ve come. In this situation. You’ve found someone new. And already being engaged to him.

Your first encounter with Jay after years was when you were by yourself shopping for your new home that you recently bought. Jay stood there recognizing the woman, whom he deemed to love the most. In flesh.

“Yn..” a voice speaks out. You look around and meet a pair of eyes staring right at you..

“Jay..??” You say confused. You never thought you would see him again. “Hey..how’s it going…” Jay said softly, happy to see you. “Good, and you..?” You asked. “Wish I could say the same..” he stated making you confused.. “What..? What about your girlfriend..?” You mentioned the woman he cheated on you with. Lord..the memories.. “We, we’ve been alright..just kind of in a rocky situation right now..we just broke up..soo” he says. You nodded your head..

“Yn..I know I was wrong for what I did..but please take me the back..” as soon as he said those words. You were pissed. Who does he think you’ll forgive him easily.

“No, I’ll never. Jay you don't know the damage you did to me. I actually thought I was having nightmares. I thought you would come back and tell me it’s all not real. I waited. I waited for you to tell me it was all a lie and it wasn’t really, but no. I was crying, crying everyday about someone who I thought was my forever. My forever who broke my heart. My forever who was also my first love. I was so foolish to think you would come back. And thought that for 6 months. 6 months, hoping you would come back, comfort me, tell me there isn’t another girl. Nobody knew how much I loved you, even you…eventually I gave up. I moved on Jay..there’s no..no chance..” you ranted out, crying..oh you wished you didn’t cry. Now Jay was looking at you in shock.. he knew you loved a lot but not this much..

“I’m sorry..that’s how it ended..I never meant it..” Jay wanted to hug you, hold you in his arms like the old days. “If you never meant it, why did you cheat then? Sorry isn’t going to cut it..” you said before leaving him standing there..not giving him time to reply..

Your next encounter was 2 years later when you and your fiancé, Heeseung, were out on a date, spending quality time together. You were busy holding hands and faced him, you didn’t notice someone was there. Making you bump into them.

“Babe! Watch out..” heeseung warned you.

“Huh what do you mea-“ before you could finish, you crashed into someone causing them to let out a grunt. “Oh my god! I’m so sorry!” You tried apologizing. You quickly look up and realize who the person was…

“J-Jay…” you say shocked. Jay also realized it’s you. You.

“Yn..is that really you??..” Jay said before pulling you into a hug. You awkwardly hug him back and pull away from the hug.. “it’s been years…” you said. The air was uncomfortable as you faced your ex-lover. “Yeah..it has..and who is this…” Jay referred to the unknown man standing next you staring at you and Jay.

“Oh this is my fiancé, Heeseung. Babe, this is my old friend, Jay” you said introducing them to each other. Fiancé..how?? Jay never thought you would move on from him..well it has been approximately 6 years since you had any sort of contact with him. How small is the world huh..?

“Did you say..f-fiancé..?” Jay managed to say. Still surprised. “Yes..fiancé..” you said nodding your head..

“Well nice to meet you, Jay, but me and Yn have to get going..” heeseung said while looking at Jay with stern eyes. Jay noticed his stare and awkwardly nodded. Heeseung knew who he was, and what he did to you. He hated and still hates him..because why would someone hurt someone so precious. “Right..” Jay responded. Heeseung starts walking away and you follow after, suddenly you stop. You turned around..

“Jay, I’m sorry…but this is how it ends..I wish you well…” you say running to catch up to heeseung. Jay watches you walk away. With the man who he thought was supposed to be him but will never be. He hopes you will be happy. It will make you happy. Tears now flow down his face..and a sad smile appears on his face.

“Thank you, thank you..for being my love..” he says softly and turns around walking alone in regret..for giving you 6 years of hell..

We’ll live in spaces between walls

.・✫・゜・。. .・✫・゜・。. .・✫・゜・。.・✫・゜

"Maybe in another world, you would have chosen me."

- K.L, Midnight thoughts #3 (via vodkapoetry)

Author’s note: thank you to this anon for the idea. And I didn’t think some will like it bc no lie I hated it. Like my writing isn’t the best but Ty!! I also did want to use this song for a fic and I took my opportunity!! And did bad with Sunghoon back in October soo.. also happy new year everyone let’s hope 2024 is a good year!!

© ynsvnte copyright 2024

[duchezss]

My favorite details/moments from Trolls Band Together because I have a problem.

Lemme just get this out of the way and say the soundtrack is a certified banger oh my god.

When brozone tries and hits the perfect family harmony the first time the colors that they get outlined in are all separate, the three colors don't blend at all.

Just Floyd comforting Branch....😭 😭

Branch's little hops when him and Floyd were talking about the bunker WAHHHH.

The real emotions of Branch missing his brothers while simultaneously not wanting to see them like???

"There goes my back" when JD was throwing Branch LMAOO.

The entire design of Mount Rageous is so whimsical and gorgeous I'm in love.

When the whole screen shakes when JD hits the counter eh oh el.

"If there was a brother I'd do this for...I'd be Floyd" WAHHHH.

The old MTV style music video Watch Me Work has.

Floyd singing with the posters of brozone floating around 😭

"Tiny, Poppy, Branch, and this random dude" I SPIT OUT MY DRINK LMAO.

"Are you a narc?" OH I LOST IT IM SO DEAD.

All of Branch's old hairstyles being references to Justin Timberlake's real hairstyles.

"Poppy seed" awwwww.

Branch's little "yay" is so cute.

The ongoing ring pop joke is actually so funny I'm sorry.

The way Bruce and JD just throw Branch on command.

Bruce still being considered the heart throb even though he's got a dad bod, a wife, and children 😭

THE BLEEPED OUT CURSE WORD I WAS IN TEARS.

The amount of songs they fit into Brozone's back is actually impressive, and the way they mesh so well together??? Legitness.

"That's not an idea, those are shoulder pads" I just can't...

When Floyd's hair started turning white and he was going transparent....WAHHH 😭 😭 WHEN I GET YOU VELVET AND VEENER WHEN I GET YOU......(But also the details to show how fast his health was declining? Someone cooked)

Branch's iconic clue board.

Bruce holding tiny diamond since he's also a dad.

Branch trying to be brave and talk to the clown but as soon as Viva came at him he backed up. That's such a real response I love is so much??

Clay's hair being green? Which kinda hints that JD or someone made him dye his hair yellow when he was younger.

Viva calling Clay "Mr. Clay" is actually the cutest thing everrr

Clay and Bruce's handshake, I also kinda like that it implies that they were really close, kinda like how Branch and Floyd were close. I think it really separates JD from them.

Also everyone's reaction to JD being super cold while everyone fawns over Branch.

Clay's so smart 😭 (and autistic) I love him so much.

All the brothers cute dancing in It Takes Two ❤️

The very real response of Viva not wanting to talk about her trauma and also not wanting Poppy to leave.

"I don't wanna lose my brother either" I feel like no one talks about how brave Clay is. He's in the same boat as Viva, he thinks Bergens still attack trolls, and he's going out into the world for the first time in who knows how's long. Just because he wants to help save Floyd, like that's so sweet???

Floyd's dead face was way funnier than it should've been.

"I thought ghosts just floated away" the delivery on this line is unmatched.

Floyd speaking one younger brother to Veener was so 😭, especially cause you know he felt like Veener did when Brozone was still active (on a lesser degree ofc) I can't.

We don't talk enough about how fire all of the choreos are, like they got professional dancers to make these dances, AND YOU CAN TELL OML.

JD's need for perfection constantly getting in the way of the greatness they all could achieve.

Branch being the voice for all younger siblings out there who will never be respected by their families hit me. But I also think there's something to say about the JD's of the world. The older siblings they took charge because they felt they had to. All parties end up getting hurt.

Also Branch actually wanting them to be a family so sweet. It really embodies the naive hope of wanting to stay together that youngest children have, but it's not unattainable. You can still be close with your siblings into adulthood, no matter how much time has passed, and that's what this movie represents as it's core.

"I didn't think we'd both find ourselves tied up on this honeymoon" WHATTTTT.

BRANCH AND FLOYD HUGGING THROUGH THE GLASS WAHHHHHHHH. Also Floyd being the only brother to respect that's he's grown....I just love them so much 😭

The whole interaction of all the brothers reuniting while in the diamonds is so funny for no reason lol.

Viva understanding she was wrong and striving to do better for her sister >>>

BRO THE ENTIRE CLIMAX IS SO GOOD??? THE TENSION?? THE MUSIC??? IT'S JUST PERFECTION. THE SONGS CHOICES WERE SO GOOD, AND THE WAY THEY REARRANGED WATCH ME WORK TO BE SO INTENSE IS BRILLIANT. THE SONG JUST KEEPS BUILDING AND THE STAKES GET HIGHER, IT'S WAY TO GOOD.

"Actually I've got two really brave sisters" When the message of this movie is that found family and blood family are just as important as each other, and that no matter what you get to pick who your family is >>> 😭

When Clay falls hard while in the diamond, Bruce and JD immediately check on him, meanwhile he's just focused on Floyd. The older brotherism... 😭

The message of this movie also being that perfection isn't important, but rather balance, harmony, and communication are key. ❤️

The acapella opening of Better Place....just.....wow.....

Clay's adlibs eating everyone up??? Kid Cudi I was not familiar with your game hold on.....

When they hit the perfect family harmony all their colors start mixing, showing their respect for individualism and also for the group.

The way Floyd eyes light up when they're all singing is just 😭

Branch building the bunker for all of them 💔, Floyd remembering the waterslide, all of them hugging?? Just peak filmmaking idk.

"Jail it is" also apparently someone did the math and in our world the twins would get over 6 life sentences for their crimes hello???

All of the boyband references are so funny idc.

Clay being excited to get to know Branch 😭 also JD reading a book in the back that presumably Clay recommended him?? That's so cute? He's really trying y'all, they're all trying, and that just warms my heart 😭

*NSYNC making their first song in over 20 years for this movie is actually the craziest thing ever I'm obsessed. Also they all designed their little trolls which I think is so cute.

The last songs....just bangers....I can't even, I sound like a broken record, why is every song in this movie so good.

Fav adlibs speedrun (from the last two songs): Floyd little "yeah yeah", Clay's "dohhh, ohhh," one of the nsync members "show the wayyy", Bruce's "so excited", Branch's "ohh" & "ayeee"

The layering when they all sing together is too good. It sounds so gorgeous and if you listen closely you can hear each persons vocals.

Also I just need to talk about the music production and mixing for a second. This movie has three version of Better Place, all of which are unique. The main one is the NSYNC version, which is notable for it's little rap section. The Family Harmony version use's the intro/pre-chorus as the main part of the song. It also lets the song slowly built, and adds instrumentals as the song progresses. The Reunion version doesn't use the intro/pre-chorus, but rather mainly focuses on the chorus. It also uses the bridge from the main song as the post-chorus/refrain. Just a very creative use of the song tbh. Also the instrumental differences between Watch Me Work and Mount Rageous? Like it's the same song, but the way they add more classical elements and more layers to build the tension and the song as a whole?? I have no words. Perfection.

Obsessed with this movie. If you haven't seen it pls go watch it.

[compassionatereminders]

Over the last year and half, the emotional abuse in the abusive household I live in hit critical levels, my health deteriorated completely, I lost control of the OCD I didn't know I had and had been suppressing for years, I became so suicidal that I had to be hospitalized, I decided to burn all my friendships to the ground so I could kill myself. Worst of all, I hurt my best friend so badly and continually for months when she was trying her best to help me that she finally walked away and the rest of my friend group all blocked me in disgust.

They have every right to be hurt and I respect why they walked away. I'm even glad they protected themselves. But I feel like it's not fair to write me off for it. I don't know if that's what they've done, but they did it to another friend of ours who turned toxic because she was going through the worst time of her life. Who she was as a person and who she was for all the other years she was our friend didn't matter to them. They didn't just take space from her but leave the door open for her to come back when she took her head out of her ass like I did, even though it was me she targeted worst. I was hurt and angry on her behalf, and I think that was the beginning of the end of my friendships with them too, because that was when I started getting anxious that they'd do the same to me if I became too problematic. It was the OCD and fear of rejection that triggered that finally ended up taking over my whole mind. But even if it ended up being a self-fulfulling prophecy, I think if they've written me off completely like they did our other friend, they weren't that good as friends.

On the other hand I understand and even appreciate that the last straw was how I treated my best friend. If anyone else had treated her the way I did I would be the first to turn completely against them and hold a grudge for it too. It's one thing to hurt me, but it's another to hurt her. The fact that they all blocked me is a sign that they're caring for her the way I wanted her to be cared for back before I turned into a screeching harpy. I don't expect her to take me back but she's also the only person I trust to not judge me and our whole friendship by what I did at my worst.

Basically, I think the rest of them being angry on her behalf is justified, but if they've written me off on their own behalf they can kick rocks. Which is not a thought I have ever had in my life towards someone I've hurt, mentally ill or not. It disturbs me. Simply putting all the hurt I caused to a mental breakdown feels like I'm side-stepping taking accountability when the mental illness was the worsening of behavioural issues I've had my whole life. I've tried to address them but I didn't know what I was doing wrong, and I tended to blow up my relationships right before I got a diagnosis for each of my psych problems. I can never figure out how much agency I had in my choices.

It's all so confusing and contradictory. Is this more self-victimising? Am I standing up for myself or refusing to take accountability?

I'm really sorry you're struggling and hurting, and my heart goes out to you, but a brutal fact of life is that anyone has the right to cut contact with anyone for any reason, and this is a truth we have to make peace with or at least respect.