#which honestly might be even fucking funnier

[54625]

We all accept the fact that qsmp is homoerotic and gay as fuck, but no one ever talks about how absolutely hilarious the lore implications of that are. Like this super secretive and powerful organisation called the federation is in charge of what seems to be a long-term phycological experiment involving select individuals from all around the world, but at some point during whatever selection process occurred the person in charge went: REMEMBER. EVERYONE WHO WILL INHABIT THIS ISLAND MUST BE FUCKING GAY. IT IS IMPERATIVE.

[thedevotionaltour]

i havent even read enough gl to justify the feelings and emotions i have about kyle i just have the lovers heart and also something wrong with me. and my projection. in my mind he's just like me. and he would have loved college vending machine frozen cheeseburger and heating it up in the microwave at 1 in the morning because he was bored and didn't want to work on a drawing assignment on 20" x 30" paper that was due tomorrow in his freshman year. he would have loved going to the club to push off finals work that's creating the worst stress known to man in his brain. and he would love to annoy the fuck out of his roommate when high and avoiding homework on a saturday.

[stevebabey]

Eddie is beginning to wonder if he’ll ever reach a point where Steve couldn’t reduce him to this state.

This state being… transfixed. Eddie is sure he must look like a lovesick cartoon. In fact, if he could manage to drag his gaze away, he’d probably find red hearts circling around his head in a halo, popping like little bubbles.

But Eddie can’t move his eyes. Can’t even close his mouth either.

Steve’s talking to him too, which is most definitely worse — he’s totally missing every word. He can see Steve’s lips moving, pink plush lips wrapping around words but fuck, that was a total trap because now Eddie is just looking at his lips. He tries to refocus, to listen. His eyes just wander back to what he was staring back at the first place.

Was Steve like this all the time? Just a walking around looking so damn delectable?

Or is it Eddie, just a starved man who’s been living off stolen glances, for as long as he can remember? For once, he’s learning, he’s allowed to look.

And by God, is he looking.

Steve’s not even doing it on purpose either, which probably makes the whole thing funnier. Eddie knows what his boyfriend (boyfriend! he thinks giddily in his mind) looks like when he’s cleaned up to impress. He can spot the way Steve preens beneath Eddie’s lingering gaze.

This is not that. Today, Steve is just cleaning, a usual Sunday morning ritual.

He’s got some old sport shorts on and he’s clearly grown a bit since he first got them— unless Hawkins has always been giving out slutty little shorts to the basketball team (They haven’t. Eddie would know if they did.)

He’s wearing one of his wife-beater singlets too. It’s a little on the scrappy side though, considering it’s nearly see-through with how worn it is.

Honestly, in Eddie’s humble and gay opinion, it’s stupidly hot. The dark hair dusted across of Steve’s chest is visible beneath it, the shirt showing off the shape of his broad chest. Even better, his happy trail is visible and goddamn, if that doesn’t make Eddie happy, he doesn’t know what will.

But it’s not even that.

Quite frankly, Eddie’s rather embarrassed that he’s basically blue-screening because Steve is pulling out the cord out from the vacuum cleaner.

But… but he’s yanking it up towards his chest, slow and strong repetitive motions— that take enough effort to make his biceps bulge with every tug.

Eddie can’t stop watching. The cord must be several metres long and he’s not sure if he should be cursing it or thanking it for the view he gets; Steve’s tan arms flexing and rippling. Try as he might, Eddie can’t help imagining how they must look when Steve’s got his hand aroun—

“—hello? Are you even listening to me?”

Steve’s voice cuts into Eddie’s dangerously side-tracked thoughts and he pauses his tugging at the same time. It’s the thing that finally allows him to break his lustful stare at Steve’s arms. Oh God, he just got all hot and bothered over his boyfriend doing the vacuuming.

“Hello.” Eddie says back, because that was the first word to register in his brain. “I mean- yes. I’m—”

Eddie decides mid-sentence that he’s not getting away with the lie. He pivots. “Okay, no, I didn’t hear that. Would you please tell me what you just said, oh lovely sweet man of mine?”

Ever the butterer-upper, he was. Thank God it works on Steve. He rolls his eyes a little but there’s an adoring grin on his lips.

“Man of mine,” Steve mutters amusedly under his breath. He drops the vacuum cord on the carpeted floor and leans down the grab the handle of the vacuum. “You just kinda froze when you came in. I was asking if everything was okay? I’m just doing this room then I’ll be done, if you don’t like the noise.”

Eddie adores that Steve’s taken his silence as though he might be afraid of the vacuum cleaner or something. He nearly snorts aloud at how far from the truth it is.

“Uh huh.” Eddie nods, not bothering to correct him. He jerks a thumb behind him, pointing at nothing. “I’m just gonna…”

He spins on his heel and exits left stage, fast as he can while still looking normal (he’s unsuccessful, as he leaves a baffled Steve behind him.) As he enters into the kitchen and decides to fix them both a pot of coffee, Eddie lets himself giggle over the pure absurdity of what just happens.

It’s mortifying. It’s hilarious. He can never tell Steve.

Except, when Steve comes to find him in the kitchen and trades a kiss for some coffee, Eddie can’t help it. All he ever wants to do is make Steve laugh.

He decides it’s worth the embarrassment when Steve laughs so hard coffee comes out his nose.

Steve teasingly promises that he’ll to try be less distracting, then rescinds his words at Eddie’s abject reaction (“Don’t you dare.”) looking far too smug— in a delighted sort of way. Preening, in that way Eddie loves.

Their first kiss, as Eddie slides onto Steve’s lap and loops his arms over his shoulders, fingers dancing on those tasty arms, tastes a little bit like coffee. Their mugs grow cold, untouched.

Eddie doesn’t mind — he’s too busy finding out that the rest of their kisses taste like something between sunlight and Steve.

[james-bucky-barnackle]

Froyo

Synopsis: During a premiere red carpet with Drew, an interviewer’s question accidentally reveals that a seemingly ordinary dinner was actually Drew’s attempt at a first date covered by two random tiktoks. Pairing: Drew Starkey x Actress!Reader Word Count: IDK I'm too sleep deprived to count A/N: I know I still owe you guys a Gwayne Hightower fanfic, but the chokehold Drew fucking Starkey has on me is insane. btw, I realized this is the second time I've created a fic based on real people vs the normal Marvel character thingy I do. And to be honest, there's gonna be a lot more... so maybe I should make this a series considering they're all triggered by an interview and Y/N's always an actress lol. ALSO at the end, there's a poll on what you think should happen next, and best believe I'll do my best to write that.

There’s an edit circulating on TikTok of you and your co-star Drew Starkey from your red carpet interview together. You’re both starring in an Amazon limited series about college classmates who become close after witnessing your professor’s murder and are now on a shared mission to solve the crime. You’ve known him closely for a year now, but have been following his career even before that. I mean, who wouldn’t? The man is gorgeous. But of course, you couldn’t let him know that.

As shooting began, the two of you grew closer, and you decided to be professional and put that whole fascination aside. You’ve both even dated other actors and celebrities, which have also been topics for gossip channels and paparazzi photos. Despite all that, you’ve hung out plenty, mostly in groups but also during breaks in filming—often grabbing lunch and coffee together.

Today, you and Drew are laughing as you finally see the edit that’s been at the top of both your PR’s nightmare list.

You’re dressed in an elegant beige gown, skin-tight and slightly sheer, which Carrie Bradshaw would definitely call the naked dress. Your hair is pulled back in a low bun, bangs effortlessly framing your face. You’ve just arrived at the red carpet, taking your time to chat with interviewers. The first few questions are light, mostly about how fun it was working on set and, of course, what you're wearing.

After a few minutes, Drew catches up to you. He’s in a baby blue suit, sepia shades covering his eyes, smelling incredible. His presence is like a tight, warm hug—well, a little tighter on your chest. His voice sends tingles down your spine as he whispers, one hand casually placed on the small of your back.

“What did I miss?” He smiles at you and the interviewer.

“Oh, nothing much, I was just telling Amelia how you’re always late to everything.” You smirk, shooting a playful look at the camera. Amelia, your interviewer, raises her eyebrows dramatically, playing along. Both of you laugh as Drew backs away, feigning offense.

“I’ve been here since like—” He starts to defend himself.

“Like five minutes ago,” you say, rolling your eyes.

“Valid,” he agrees with a shrug, laughing.

Amelia continues her interview, moving on to ask about the possibility of a second season.

“I mean, yeah, I’d love to do a second season, for sure,” you nod, glancing at Drew, who’s nodding along, letting you take the lead. “But I’m not sure if it makes sense, since it was originally written as a one-season story. For that to happen, someone might have to die again so Kelsea and James can investigate something new.”

Kelsea and James are the names of the characters you play—who, of course, end up dating on the show.

“So you’re saying someone has to die for the two of you to get back together on set?” Amelia jokes, her deadpan delivery only making it funnier.

“I mean, I don’t know!” You laugh. “You’re twisting my words, Amelia!”

“I honestly think you just don’t want to hang out with me anymore, Y/N,” Drew chimes in, a playful pout on his face. “I’m hurt.”

“Is that why there wasn’t a second date?” Amelia asks, teasingly. Her tone is light, but the question lands hard. Drew’s eyes widen in surprise, his smile freezing as if even he didn’t see that one coming. He covers his mouth, trying not to laugh while you stand there, looking utterly confused.

“Second date? What?” You laugh, trying to figure out if this is some sort of red carpet joke you weren’t briefed on. You glance at Drew, who’s just shaking his head, still grinning but not offering any explanations.

You lower your voice, leaning towards him, “What is she—what date?” You chuckle awkwardly, trying to maintain your cool, though the confusion is clearly written all over your face. Drew glances at Amelia, then back at you, and you can tell he feels a little bad now.

Finally, after what feels like an eternity of awkward silence, Drew admits, “When we got dinner and froyo.” He says it so nonchalantly that it takes you a second to process.

“That was a date?!” you whisper-yell, smacking his arm, your jaw practically hitting the floor. “You said it was just dinner!”

“I know!” Drew laughs, his cheeks turning a little pink. “I said that because I thought you didn’t like me back! I was sending out signals!”

“What signals?” you ask, still reeling from the shock. “That’s unfair, you said it was just dinner! I feel so bad—I didn’t know!” You place your hand on his arm, squeezing it apologetically. You’re both laughing now, but you’re also genuinely flustered.

“I did tell you!” Drew protests. “I said, ‘Do you want to have dinner with me?’ And you were like, ‘Are we bringing Madz along?’ And when I said no, you were like, ‘Why?’”

“That is not enough, Drew!” You laugh, cheeks burning with embarrassment. Your PR team is probably dying, but at least this little moment might boost some publicity for the show. You actually remember the video Amelia might be referring to; your assistant had sent it to you a few months back. You found it interesting and even funny because you honestly thought it was just a fan shipping the two of you together—cutting together videos and photos of you and Drew when you were out to eat. You try to recall what that day was like and pick apart whatever signals Drew was referring to, but you really can’t remember anything different from the way he’s interacted with you since you two first met.

You realize the gag has gone on long enough and decide to wrap it up before the awkwardness can escalate further.

“Amelia, I’m so sorry about this,” you say with a dramatic sigh, trying to regain your composure. “Even while confessing his undying love for me, he’s still late. Men, what can you do?”

Drew, still chuckling, wraps an arm around you and presses a soft kiss to your forehead, his way of apologizing. You feel a warmth settle over you, even as your mind is still catching up to everything.

The camera flashes pop around you, and suddenly, those TikTok edits of you looking perpetually confused start to make a little more sense.

When the premiere starts, halfway through the screening, you excuse yourself to the bathroom. You check your makeup, but instead of heading straight back to the theater, you decide to take a moment. The whole "date reveal" situation has thrown you off more than you realized, and you need a second to process it. You stare at your reflection in the mirror, replaying the interview in your head. You haven't had the chance to talk to Drew about it since, and the thought lingers in the back of your mind. You don’t want another clueless moment to make it into the tabloids.

You wash your hands, fix your makeup, and prepare to head back out. But as you step through the door, you see Drew standing there, waiting.

“Well, look who it is—the jokester,” you say, crossing your arms with a mock grin. “Here to ask me out on another one-sided date?”

Drew smirks, stepping closer. “Huh? What are you talking about? I’m just here to pee,” he teases, nudging your shoulder.

“Not funny,” you mutter, rolling your eyes but feeling a smile tug at the corner of your mouth.

“Hey, I’m sorry.” His smile softens, and for the first time since the red carpet, you can tell he actually feels a little guilty. “I really am.”

“You should be!” You huff, but your tone is playful now, your annoyance melting away as you meet his eyes. "That was so long ago."

Drew takes a step closer, and you suddenly become very aware of the quietness around you. It’s just the two of you now, the noise of the premiere distant, almost forgotten. His gaze flickers to your lips for just a second, and your heart skips a beat.

“Y/N…” He hesitates, like he’s trying to find the right words. “About that second date…”

“You mean actual first date?” you correct him, raising an eyebrow, trying to keep your cool.

Drew pauses, then chuckles softly. “Yeah,” he admits, rubbing the back of his neck. “Actual first date. What do you think?”

You stare at him, caught off guard. You weren’t expecting him to just put it out there like that. His easygoing nature usually means he hides behind jokes or avoids direct confrontation. But now, with no cameras, no noise—just you and him—he’s being sincere.

“You know,” you say, your voice quieter now, “if you made it clear the first time, I still would’ve said yes.”

Drew’s eyes widen slightly, and a smile slowly spreads across his face. “Really?”

“Yeah,” you nod, feeling a mix of relief and excitement. “Really.”

His grin widens, and there’s something boyishly excited about it, like you’ve just given him the best news of the day. “No froyo this time, I promise.”

“Good,” you laugh. “Because that wasn’t a date.”

“Duly noted.” He steps closer, his hand brushing yours, and this time it doesn’t feel accidental. His fingers curl around yours lightly, the touch sending a spark through you.

“You know, we could leave early,” he suggests, glancing back towards the theater. “Skip the rest of the screening, maybe grab some dinner… somewhere where I make it clear it’s a date.”

You bite your lip, considering it, but your eyes narrow playfully. “And deal with the wrath of our PR teams later? You must love living dangerously.”

He chuckles, shaking his head. “You make a good point. But I promise, after all the photos, after all the interviews... we’ll do this right.”

You nod, smiling at him. “I’ll hold you to that.”

With that, you both walk back into the theater. His hand lingers on yours for a moment longer before he finally lets go, and even as you take your seats for the rest of the screening, the air between you has changed.

You glance at him once more, feeling that familiar warmth return, only this time, it’s not confusing or awkward.

The noise of the film dims around you, though you’re still hyper-aware of the room, the hundreds of eyes on the screen, and the occasional flash from the press in the back. Drew leans back in his seat, arms crossed loosely, but he’s not watching the movie either. Instead, he looks over at you, catching your eye.

You feel the heat rise in your cheeks, and you quickly face forward, pretending to focus on the movie. But then, from the corner of your vision, you feel him move slightly closer. The tension that was always there, that you’d pushed aside so many times, is undeniable now.

After the premiere ends, there’s the usual round of applause and the hum of people slowly rising to leave. Drew stands up first, offering you his hand, and even though you can stand up just fine on your own, you take it. There’s something about that gesture that feels significant—like you’ve crossed a line you didn’t realize you were approaching until now.

You’re both still in work mode, nodding and smiling at the industry people you pass, but the moment you’re outside, the cool night air hitting your face, Drew turns to you, a glint of mischief in his eyes.

“Alright,” he says, running a hand through his hair. “How do you feel about grabbing that dinner tonight?”

You blink, caught off guard by how fast he’s moving. “Tonight? We just got out of the premiere,” you laugh, though there’s excitement bubbling under the surface. “I know, but if I wait any longer, who knows what crazy schedules we’ll get caught up in again.” He steps closer, his smile genuine, warm. “I’ve waited this long to actually do it right. What’s a few more hours?"

“Alright,” you say, a grin breaking through. “Let’s do it. Dinner—our actual first date.”

His eyes light up. “Great. I know a place.”

The restaurant Drew takes you to is tucked away, quiet and intimate, and you laugh at how quaint it is, most of the other diners are old enough to be your grandparents. You feel comfort knowing most of them don't have phones let alone know who the both of you are. For all they care, you could be two kids coming home from a costume party just ending the night with a bite.

“So,” you say as you both sit down, menus in hand but neither of you really looking at them. “This is what a proper date feels like, huh?”

Drew leans back in his chair, grinning. “Better than froyo, right?”

You laugh, rolling your eyes. “Significantly better.”

There’s a moment of comfortable silence, the kind where you both just look at each other and realize this is happening—really happening. You’re on a date with Drew, and it’s not some PR stunt or a casual hangout. It’s real. And for the first time, you’re letting yourself want it. "You think they're wondering why we're over dressed?" You hide behind a menu. "Overdressed? Excuse me? This is what I wear everyday." Drew retorts, making you chortle.

“So,” you say, resting your chin on your hand, “What’s the plan after this? Froyo?”

Drew chuckles, shaking his head. “You’re never going to let me live that down, are you?”

“Not a chance.”

He grins, eyes glinting with that same playful energy you’ve always liked. “Well, I’ll make sure tonight’s memorable enough that it overshadows that.”

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[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

since i've talked a lot about how i dislike Catra, here are some of the other fictional characters that i dislike:

(warning: long post ahead, also spoilers for steven universe, the dragon prince, ocean waves, the legend of korra, and kipo and the age of wonderbeasts)

1. Lapis Lazuli (Steven Universe)

i think this one is pretty obvious. there were a bunch of characters in SU who were let off the hook after doing terrible things, but Lapis is the one i disliked the most.

she started off as an interesting character, her trauma after getting caught in a war and stuck in a mirror for ages was sympathetic and pretty well-written but like Catra, i think the writers coddled Lapis too much.

this is evident with her relationship with Peridot, where she starts off blaming Peridot for something that wasn't her fault and destroying her prized possession when she tries to make amends. but Lapis expresses concern for Peridot ONCE and now they're besties.

and after that, Lapis becomes toxic and demanding, causing Peridot to constantly walk on eggshells around Lapis so as not to hurt her feelings. and finally, Lapis just takes the barn, Peridot's HOME, off into space because she couldn't agree with Peridot's decision to stay and fight the Diamonds?? i'm not mad that Lapis didn't want to fight the Diamonds, i fully understand her trauma, but did she have to take the barn with her? what part of that was necessary??

i think all of this would have been fine if Lapis was held accountable for her actions, but she wasn't. she doesn't even do the bare minimum and Peridot immediately forgives her. sigh. at least they didn't make Lapidot canon.

2. King Harrow (The Dragon Prince)

i don't hate this character as much as I hate some of the others on the list but i do think that he was kind of a shitty king. he literally decides to starve his own kingdom in order to help out another kingdom. and this is framed as the right thing to do?

it's a tough choice but Harrow's people were depending on him, and he decides that his own people should sacrifice their winter rations for another kingdom. scummy move, i do not like him. Viren may have been self-serving and manipulative, but he was right to try and stop Harrow from doing this.

3. Rikako Muto (Ocean Waves)

god, i fucking hate this bitch. worst ghibli movie ever honestly. the thing is, like Catra and many of the other characters here, Rikako would have been an interesting character if the writers just made her an antagonist.

but no, she's supposed to be the love interest while being a selfish and manipulative brat. she is rude to everyone unless she wants a favor from them. she uses people to her advantage and screams at them when they try to resist. Rikako is the most interesting character in this movie, which sucks because she is also the most insufferable character.

the singular most hilarious scene in this movie has to be when Taku is fondly reminiscing about the interactions he had with Rikako, and since she was nothing but a little bitch throughout the entire movie, we get a super emotional flashback, accompanied by a soft score, of all the times she was manipulating and verbally abusing him. would have been funnier if it was not unironic. i do not know what the creators were thinking.

there was no chemistry between these two characters, their relationship was unhealthy as fuck, but they still get together by the end because.. amatonormativity. and because Taku had too much chemistry with his male best friend and they didn't want the viewers to think that he might be queer.

4. Bolin (The Legend of Korra)

it's crazy how everyone and their mothers hate Mako for cheating on Korra and Asami, but absolutely adore Bolin who sexually harassed his coworker. Bolin forced a kiss on Ginger while she was tied down on set, after she had already rejected him multiple times and said that she was her doing her job.

i see so many people saying that Bolin was a green flag and a better choice than Mako, and i seriously wonder if we watched the same show. i don't condone cheating either obviously but how do you call out cheating but completely gloss over sexual harrasment? Bolin legit acts like a manchild who doesn't understand consent and because the show frames this as "comedy", the audience thinks it's cute and funny.

at least Mako faced the consequences of his actions. he got dumped by both Korra and Asami, some of the other characters called him out on his actions, and he actually turns into a much better person by the end of the series.

oh, don't forget that Bolin started working for the literal fascist in s4. and he acts all dumb about it and argues that Kuvira was like Korra which,, what the fuck? he literally sees Kuvira torturing people and it still takes him a long time to stop working for her. he was a bit like Entrapta in that case, the writers made him too oblivious and stupid in order to justify him aiding a fascist.

5. Kipo (Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts)

okay, so Kipo is a little different from the other characters mentioned here because she's not problematic by any means. quite the opposite actually, her main personality trait seems to be that she's kind to everyone.

and that's fine, it's on par for most kids show protagonists, but Kipo is such a deeply unflawed character that she just becomes so boring. she has no character growth throughout the series, except for developing her fighting skills as her wildcat form. and even that comes easy to her, she masters it in one episode. her "flaws" are very surface level, like being clumsy or kinda awkward.

she is unbothered by almost everything, which is the most baffling in that episode where she discovers that she was the result of a science experiment done by her parents. you would expect some sort of mixed emotions there - confusion, hesitation, resentment even? nope. she's just excited and happy that her parents put her life at risk by experimenting on her.

and the show insists on reminding us every five seconds that "hey! Kipo is a GOOD person, she's the KINDEST human being ever and the ONLY person who doesn't love her is the EVIL VILLAIN". shit like this just turns me off so much. just SHOW me how nice Kipo is, instead of making every character gush about her niceness. SHOW, don't tell, for god's sake. besides, even if a person is kind and wholesome, it's unrealistic for EVERYONE to like them.

and the funny thing is that this show has other interesting characters! Wolf, for example, was a really complex and flawed character who is still fundamentally a good person. Hugo was a sympathetic villain who got a pretty decent redemption arc. so it's not like the writers didn't know how to write interesting characters, they just wanted to make their protagonist a Mary Sue.

[gabessquishytum]

Alpha Dream is an alien prince from a race with a/b/o dynamics, and is part of a delegation negotiating a treaty with Earth. It’s decided that the treaty would be sealed with a marriage with Dream, and he requests that his human betrothed be a male omega if possible, please.

Except humans are still normal humans with no such dynamics, and none of the human delegation understands what that means (either omegaverse never developed as a fanfic trope in this universe, or somehow absolutely none of the humans present have ever been to that part of the internet).

Both the aliens and the humans present are falling for the species-centric perspective of “they look enough like us that they surely must fuck like us”, so thanks to only responding with a couple of euphemistic explanations that don’t translate well to any of the human languages being used (unbeknownst to the aliens), the humans end up believing that a male omega is just “a male who bottoms”.

Weird to just blatantly ask for that, but it’s probably a cultural thing, and thankfully they do happen to have a betrothal candidate who fits that description.

Hob Gadling doesn’t get a ton of time to really get to know his alien fiancé, but what they do get is enough that both of them are pleased enough with the match, and they’re definitely both looking forward to consummating the marriage on their wedding night.

Cut to the wedding night in question, when the clothes finally come off.

If male omegas of Dream’s species are meant to have any kind of vagina, then the night probably stops there in favor of serious conversations and clearing up of misunderstandings. However, I think it’d be funnier to keep the misunderstandings going, so let’s suppose that the alien male omegas have all their business up the ass 😁

Hob and Dream get right down to business exploring each other’s bodies, and are having a grand time doing so. But when Dream gets to Hob’s hole, he doesn’t find any trace of slick there. Unexpected, but it’s not unheard of for some omegas to need a little extra stimulation to get wet, even if they appear to be enjoying themselves. With the help of a little lube for just such a situation, Dream is quite happy to spend the extra time and effort getting his new mate wet and loose.

(Hob wasn’t expecting his new husband to be so committed to fingering and eating him out, particularly since he had specifically asked for a husband who likes to be fucked, but Dream is so good at it you won’t hear him complaining (though he would like to get that alien dick inside him at least once tonight, if he can somehow manage to pull his alien husband’s face away from his ass at some point—Dream’s already made him come from this once, but doesn’t seem ready to move on from there))

Dream is starting to grow concerned. He wants so badly to please his new mate, but despite his clear enjoyment of Dream’s attentions Hob still doesn’t produce any slick. Even when he comes, the only real response comes from his cock and nothing from his ass. Dream dearly wants to properly mate his lovely and responsive alien omega, but if he tries fucking that pretty little hole with it as naturally dry as it is, it might be uncomfortable or even painful for Hob, which is simply unacceptable! Maybe human omegas require more orgasms first…?

At some point, one of them will finally call for a timeout to ask what the deal is, and they finally have a chance to talk and realize the misapprehensions they were both under about how biologically similar their species’ are. Thankfully this doesn’t really change how much they both want to make the marriage work for themselves as much as for the treaty, though Dream does have new worries about potentially hurting Hob by knotting an ass that wasn’t made for it. Hob though is stubborn, horny, besotted, and willing to try anything at least once, so they’ll probably work that out somehow without many issues.

-🪽anon

YESSS alien omegaverse!!! I honestly really like the idea of Hob being an avid omegaverse-reader before his marriage to Dream, so he actually starts to have suspicions about Dream having a secondary sex, but he doesn't want to say anything in case he's wrong... when Dream finally gets a chance to explain his biology, Hob is like "Hang on a second!" and digs out his favourite omegaverse romance novel to show him. Dream is relieved to discover that Hob DOES know what he's talking about... its even a little gratifying to know that his husband gets off on the whole concept of Dream’s basic biology.

So the only problem is that Hob isn't designed to take a knot - which means he'll have to practice. That means waiting and training his hole and his inside muscles to stretch and relax gradually. He doesn't really want to wait. But Dream is very insistent. He's going to keep on rimming Hob’s lovely little hole just as much as he was before, but he'll now also be inserting toys which can swell and train him to take a knot someday.

Hob shyly asks if Dream is disappointed that he isn't a proper omega like he wanted. But Dream firmly explains that he's fallen for Hob, not his genitals, and that there's no one else he'd rather be married to. Sex with Hob is already amazing (now Dream understands that he is pleasing his husband and getting him sufficiently aroused, phew) and he's sure it will only get better as their marriage goes onwards. Especially because Hob is proving himself a natural when it comes to training his hole. He's really, really looking forward to getting fucked, and it even shows in his body - he may not be an omega, but he's so fucking ready to be knotted by his alpha. One of these days Dream is gonna wake up to a very enthusiastic husband riding his knot, and he'll be very glad that he married a resilient, stubborn, gorgeous human.

[asurrogateblog]

have you seen John's collage for Paul called "I Only Have Eyes For You"? do you have any thoughts about it? 👀

yes I HAVE seen it

for the unfamiliar this is what anon is talking about:

.....uh huh.....sure john......

SO. as far as I remember, there's a bit of a debate on whether "I Only Have Eyes For You" is actually what it was called, or whether it was named that after-the-fact because of all the eyes on it, which obviously affects how we interpret it.

regardless of the name though, it has a very particular sort of.... "art project that gets your daughter sent to the school guidance counselor at the beginning of a horror movie" vibe that I personally think is incredibly fucking hilarious. NONE of the other collages john gave to people look anything like this. it's so blatantly emotionally tortured that it almost feels satirical

oh, and what's even funnier to me is that (at least according to the book about collage by peter blake, in which it appears), john made this in the late 50's. so the beatles torment nexus – which might better explain its existence – had just. not happened yet. honestly the energy this gives off makes me think that the book must have printed a typo or something, it feels so late 60's or even early 70's. no matter what tho, the mental image of him either handing it to paul in person or mailing it to him? 10/10 no notes

as for the implied question "do you think it's gay? ...I Want To Believe. it feels like a sister artwork to all of paul's disturbing repressed homosexual grief paintings. so I will be interpreting it that way for my own enjoyment

[flowerslut]

I might be projecting because my love language is gift giving and I am the kind of person who needs every detail of my life planned down the second and even my routines have routines but-

I have so much pity for Jasper. Like, don't get me wrong, he's got a great family and his wife is the fucking best thing since sliced bread, but she can see the FUTURE. imagine him trying to plan something special for their anniversary, a trip abroad or something, a wonderful surprise. First of all, he can't even decide until the very last second because he wants to keep it a surprise, which is already impossible, but then, THEN. He books the tickets and before he can even tell Alice what he's planned, she's packed their bags and figured out the itinerary and has already experienced the whole trip in her head and is already telling Jasper how great it will be and how much they will love it and how much nasty back-breaking sex they will have at every opportunity. He would love it, I'm sure, and loves her power and her having total control over him but!!! This poor man can't even plan anything special for his wife because she sees it happening before he does it!! Every gift is left to the last minute, and every experience has to be spontaneous, I don't know why he even tries honestly. That's why Alice is in charge I suppose

(I say this all in jest, I love Alice and her ability and that's probably one of the things Jasper loves most about her but. Imagine the suffering)

Jasper having to go along with any and all schemes he gets roped into is such a goldmine for comedy. It’s so great. I don’t feel the least bit bad for him; it’s like a delicious extra layer of karma. Like, sure sure we can argue that his empathy superpower is karmic justice being served against him, but him being reduced to a standing lamp who sometimes gets plucked out of Alice’s accessory pile to be promoted to Bag-Holding Arm Candy is absolutely incredible.

Listing out his trauma/problems just gets funnier the longer you go on because his problems range from "horrifying appearance that terrifies other vampires no matter what" to "wife has never once taken his advice". He’s a vampire who is hardwired to kill because murder = survival but he has an honest-to-god eating disorder because he feels the suffering of all his victims. He’s a two-time veteran where he was nothing more than a body tasked with inflicting violence on opposing forces to retain power and control over others but he’s married into a family of pacifists who like to play human in a world where being found out by said humans can and will get you killed by the vampire mafia. He has dogshit willpower but he has to sit through high school English classes with depressed/horny teenagers over and over again for appearance’s sake. He's a bulletproof immortal struggling to get a good grade in Being Good because of his ingrained ruthlessness and he will never once surprise his wife with an anniversary present because she’s a bratty, meddling little psychic.

I agree with your entire assessment here but I also laugh so hard when people try to woobify Jasper or be like “poor baby” because as a Jasper stan I love seeing this bitch suffer. Jasper will never know a moments peace no matter what happens to him and I can't help but point and laugh at his misfortune ♡

[musicfeedsmysoul12]

You know what's really funny to me? The trope of Bakugou in canon being super talented at everything that he does. In canon it's supposed to be for laughs when he's good at random shit, but I don't understand how it's supposed to be funny when the funnier route would have been that this guy has dedicated himself to nothing else but being extremely good at fighting with his quirk and to be a hero that he's actually super ass at everything else. But I guess having a complex version of Bakugou where he learns that there's more to life than heroics and maybe is way less of a demon isn't something that would have been interesting. ALSO ALSO, genuinely I'm confused as to why people think Bakugou is super smart. Like I get that he was excelling at school and was taking mock UA tests and shit, blah blah blah, but:

A) I can totally see his marks getting doctered by Aldera

B) Passing the UA exam doesn't tell me shit about his intelligence, since people who are "dumber" (Kaminari and Ashido) than him also passed the same exam. Without even knowing the proper format of the test (keeping in mind it's also a standardized test) there's no real way to gauge how "intelligent" someone has to be to do well. Also there's a bunch of General-Ed students who passed that test so again, doesn't tell me much.

C) For all the praise that he receives, there's nothing really like "intelligent" or complex about the plans that Bakugou comes up with when people suck him off for being such a good tactician. He fully somehow thought he could overwhelm fucking ALL-MIGHT with his explosions alone, if he's such a good tactician why would he all of a sudden fuck this up? Also, his "counter" to Uraraka's plan was just do bigger explosions, so again, nothing to do with his actual intellect, it's just his quirk. Which brings me to,

D) Bakugou fully should have been taken out by Uraraka's plan. I get that she was tanking hits and he wasn't, but he suffers no backlash at all from unleashing his quirk all day, and is even able to fire off massive explosions no problem. I don't care what bullshit excuse Horikoshi or the fandom comes up with, unless Bakugou has a second quirk that makes him indestructible or lets him cancel out forces, those massive explosions would have shattered his arms and legs from the recoil. But nooooooo, Todoroki suffers from acute frosbite and Midoriya shatters himself when he uses OfA. But Bakugou? Ah well, sometimes we'll remember that he's running out of sweat or his wrists will hurt a little or sumthin.

E) Why is Bakugou (and I guess Kirishima by extension as well) more ripped and buff then Midoriya when canonically somehow managed to balance a fucking small pick up truck on the last pile of garbage that he stood on when he cleared the beach. Midoriya should be jacked and stacked like Jotaro fucking Kujo in part 3 and be an immovable object, yet some how Bakugou is shown to be physically stronger than him??? Midoriya should be casually lifting couches with the entire class sitting on it so he can vaccum underneath.

PS. I think it would've been exponentially better to have IZUKU be the one who is good and talented at random shit. Like the kid who didn't have the one thing that is required of all heroes (a quirk) and tries to overcompensate for his "uselessness" by being insanely talented and skilled at tons of different hobbies would have been an awesome angle, he's genius enough to pull it off. Not only would it give us more insight on his life before All Might, but it would also make Bakugou less of a Mary Sue (seriously, the narrative bends over backwards for him) and Izuku less of an untalented loser (again, the narrative loves shitting on him, sweet Jesus). Having Bakugou be terrible at everything besides heroics and Izuku being good at everything "besides heroics" might've made for an interesting character parallel that Hori insists on shoving down our throats for 400 chapters straight 😒

Honestly I think Bakugou is competitive enough he does excel in multiple areas. But it's cause he worked at it, and has no natural talent with them. And he doesn't talk about what he's bad at.

Like- I headcanon he sucks at sewing and doesn't talk about it. At all.

I also headcanon while he's a good cook, none of his food is safe for ANYONE but himself to eat thanks to his Quirk.

As for the rest: Bakugou is shown to take studying seriously, and I think he is a good test taker. I just also think that he's probably not as far ahead as others. Someone sent an ask pointing out how high end UA is, so Kaminari and Ashido are probably much smarter then we think they are, they just don't show it. Like- Kaminari has shown he's good with literature and I always picture him as good with languages. (He's also a nerd who thinks he should read things in their original language) Ashido I see as being really into stuff like sociology and social studies due to her introverted nature.

Just because they're the lowest in class doesn't mean they're complete idiots. Someone has to be bottom of the class.

For Bakugou- as I said I picture him as a good test taker. Some people completely flub tests but rock other forms of learning, but the opposite is true and that's how I picture Bakugou. He doesn't talk about how his essays aren't as good as some of the rest of the class, or does he brag about his other classwork. But tests? He rocks them.

I do like the idea of Izuku as being much better then Bakugou in multiple things, he just doesn't talk about it cause Bakugou would pitch a fit and/or society enforced that he's worthless.

I firmly think the sports festival was a dumbass plotline with Bakugou and Uraraka should have won, I agree. I think it would have been very humbling, and would have actually been a good start of a redemption arc for Bakugou. But then, I think he should have also been in the bottom five of the class because UA has different standards vs other schools.

Bakugou is such wasted potential as a character who introduces how society sets kids like him up to fail, but it's ruined. 'He is a top hero' oh come on, he should have been ranked lower and be completely fine with it because he realizes ranks are bullshit and being a hero means saving people.

Or he should have been tossed out of school because of his actions but it's a shonen manga, gotta cut some slack. It's just... so much potential. Wasted.

As for the buff stuff: some people just don't put on muscle well. I'm pretty damn strong for someone in my shape, but I don't have the genes for a muscle body. None of my family does, despite most of us being pretty damn strong. Izuku, we've seen, is pretty damn buff under his clothing. He just doesn't have the right genes to be like Bakugou or Kirishima.

It happens.

[seijorhi]

hey rhi 👋

I’ve been watching a lot of zombie shows lately (ex: the walking dead, last of us, all of us are dead, world war z, zombieland etc. etc)

And while watching all those shows, they always managed to remind me about your zombie fic ‘finders keepers’ which would then lead me to wonder and boil with questions. So if you don’t mind and if it doesn’t trouble you too much, I would like to ask a couple of things ….

1. How did the apocalypse start?

2. When it did start, were they at school and just so happen to group up? Or did they join forces in a different manner?

3. While oikawa and the reader were taking shelter, where were the others?

4. When the reader went out to search for supplies for oikawa, we know the twins were following her, but what were they doing out in the first place?

5. (I might be a lil slow for this, but) Which of the twins killed the zombie, Atsumu or Osamu?

6. Why does inarizaki take in ‘strays’ and what do they do to them? And what do they do once the strays in question want to leave their group?

7. For how long did the twins have eyes for the reader?

8. How far along are they into the apocalypse?

9. How come no one seems concerned with reuniting with family or loved ones?

10. What’s the initial reaction from the inarizaki group when they see that the twins brought the reader to their base?

Well I think that’s all my questions… hopefully. But I know for damn sure that if an apocalypse were to actually happen that I’d be like the reader utterly useless and helpless (but unlike her I won’t have any strong and beautiful men to help or protect me 😔)

I would also probably opt out 😭 (people in zombie shows always have so much will to live and for what?!?!?).

Anyways, I always enjoy seeing your blog and reading yours answers to questions asked by us. I love how I’ll be doing anything in my day, and something (no matter how small it is) will remind me of one of your many glorious fics.

I hope you have a wonderful week and thank you for reading. (Stay hydrated and blessed babe 😏.)

(((o(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)o)))♡

- 🌬️🌫️

okay bear with me

i like to go with pharmaceutical fuck up/virus/pandemic thing à la 28 days later or the walking dead

nah, they were friends before it hit, but even pre-apocalypse it wasn't intended to be a volleyball specific thing

well technically it depends. prior to oikawa being bitten they were on a supply run. in the aftermath, they would've gone back to the school, found it overrun and depending on your own personal choice, either found themselves at the wrong end of a zombie's teeth, or they're trying to track oikawa and the reader down after escaping themselves

following :))

whichever one you think. truly i wrote it and left it ambiguous because 1) the reader couldn't see shit and couldn't determine it herself and 2) it could honestly have been either of them and i found it funnier that way. go with whatever your heart tells you

i like to think that inarizaki actually have more of a 'community'. small, but not just a bunch of guys. considering that there's food, medicine, a fuck-ton of guns and men willing to use them, they're usually pretty happy to stay. loyal enough to look the other way when it becomes clear the reader isn't going to be able to just waltz out the front gate like she thinks

inarizaki (or the core members) were aware that a few people were holing up in the school, weren't too concerned about it. more of a 'keep an eye on it and see if it becomes a problem' kind of sitch. they didn't know that group included a woman, not with how anal the others were about keeping the reader safe and tucked away from prying eyes. it was pure luck that the twins caught sight of her during a patrol, a little while before iwa and the other two left and zombies found their way inside. funny that.

somewhere between 6-12 months. long enough for the world to go to shit and for people to become adjusted to that. sort of

mostly because they either saw their family and loved ones die or they believe the chances they're still alive are slim enough not to pin hopes and dreams on. also in the reader's case because even if she had plans of meeting up/looking for someone, they'd put that shit to bed real quick

honestly i think kita would want to disapprove, but how can he? yes the twins were reckless and yes they should have discussed this together beforehand so they could have planned this, but he can't and won't argue with the end result. the reader wasn't safe where she was, now she is. she'll have access to things she was woefully lacking previously, the twins are satisfied, it's the best solution all round. thanks in no small part to how seijoh 4 treated her, there's no chance she'd survive out there on her own. such a sweet, vulnerable, helpless little thing, how could the rest of them not just want to eat her right up? they are ofc unsurprised by the twins pulling some bullshit, but hey, no one (they care about) died right? win-win.

[finnitesimal]

you reblogged that old ask about pissa ever going anywhere with their relationships and i've had some thoughts about this topic and it's probably gonna become a little bit of a rant so no pressure answering or even reading it's your askbox of course. so firsts things first jusr as you said the the answer to that task missa would definitely have to be more present on the server for this to not fall flat and feel very surface level. that being said the ender king stuff that's been going on with phil could potentially be a catalyst for things to move forward but personally i don't know if i like this idea 100%. while it is crucial to phil's character because well it's his lore! i presonally wouldn't like missa to become just an extension to him and a plot device for his story. i'd love missa to have more developement on his own or with other people first because as you said yourself a lot of the times when he's on the server him and phil barely leave each other's side.

the thing with phil ignoring missa's feelings in a way is that it could be easily attributed to him being a repressed old bird, which well, he totally is. and the threat of the ender king constantly looming over him and his loved ones definitely doesn't help with opening up to people these days. but that's where a lot of developement could happen for him and he's already been talking more to his eggs so hopefully he can exchange that trust and honesty to missa soon. and if it takes the ender king to do it then so be it i have more faith in missa being open about things on his own accord than this guy.

honestly i think i saw a post similar to what i'm going to say but i really hope the prison kiss will push some unspoken boundary between them that makes them perhaps question some things or move forward. i'm personally any type of pissa enjoyer but i just hope they can confront each other at some point and talk about how they feel. there's a lot of potential for a very sweet story here it would be a shame if nothing ever happened with it. i know it's probably wishful thinking but hey i can dream.

also we don't really know how the server is going to look and to what extent it's going to be reset but it could be a good chance for them to hang out more if let's say some bases get yeeted or they need to gather resources. or even if the bases are untouched it feels like a good moment for less active members to join since there's been a little bit of pause. what i'm saying is missa please log on more it's really crucial to this.

WOOHOO

i do agree that Missa should get to write his own lore whether it coincides with Phil's or not, he doesn't seem to be into scripting interactions with the others he's more likely to just start playing a bit and then bouncing off that for his cubito's story (spreen's betrayal and him leaving roier's house for it, kidnapping by wolves, being in love with phil, fortnite cheese putting him in prison) overall there's no evidence missa's gonna be involved in the ender king plot in canon unless he and Phil have talked about it

definitely think having a lot of new untouched space could take most of the pressure out of just walking around and seeing everything expand so quickly and being worried about building somewhere someone might have already claimed or on someone else's grounds

canon romantic pissa is still up in the air but ccphil and missa are most definitely aware that they're playing into a traditional romantic love story, theyre gonna have to decide if it'd be better or funnier to keep pivoting around the subject and drive everyone on the island insane or to get the ball FUCKING rolling

I'm going to Have Faith that he will log on more. I'm going to Hope and Pray. Calacaland will prevail

[harlequinoccult]

ok well w that answer to my last ramble i hope you won't mind me coming back and rambling MORE-

the thing with Ariel "Vulpine" Fox (remember i said he has a Thing w foxes? his surname might have smth to do w that) is that, at his core, he is not a character that really fits into the vibes of slsq. and i love putting my ocs into Situations where they Do Not Really Fit In, because it forces me to think outside the box and go "ok, but what if they find themselves in that Situation anyway? how do i work with that while still keeping their character mostly intact?". and the mix of slsq and Vulpine is just * chefs kiss * especially delicious to me, bc Ariel always had a few screws loose, but he's always been a bit too level-headed to really lean into his innate madness, and slsq gives me the opportunity to really fuck with him and i love that-

Ariel's whole Thing is really that he's the perfect vigilante character. he would never make the profile of a serial killer. a killer, yes, oh he has no problem with killing you see, but it's usually done with some greater objective in mind. even in slsq im sure he's going to be extremely picky with his victims. the thing that really sets him off and makes him believe Murder Is Ok is injustice. because unfortunately for him, Ari has an unparalleled amount of empathy, which causes him to make some... contradictory decisions during his life. really, it all depends on who has earned his wrath. he will never kill poor people or people in need, in fact he usually goes out of his way to help them every single time, but put a cop in front of him and they're going to have the most slow, painful, cruel death possible.

there might be exceptions to the "no killing poor ppl/ppl in need" rule tho, if the person in question is an abuser who does nothing but inflict suffering on others and poison the local community with their toxicity. funnily enough, Carter fits the profile of Ariel's victims fucking perfectly, im honestly still thinking of a reason why he didn't kill Carter sooner other than "he didn't have enough time to do it". other people he'll definitely go after is the rich and corrupt politicians, which, not the best decisions for his anonymity or his safety, but if he's gonna get killing you bet your ass he'll try to cause some form of change while at it.

another thing he hates, has always hated and always will, is abuse of authority (which is why in his mind a good cop is always a dead cop). he has a general problem w authority even without the abusing part, especially hates when he's stripped of his autonomy and forced to do smth against his will (he IMMEDIATELY hates The Host on principle, and its going to get worse from here). he's always been a brat over being ordered around, even if he HAS to do what he's being told to do he's going to do it HIS way and fuck you if you have a problem w that. what matters is that he got the job done, isnt it? (i genuinely dont know how Carter managed to put up w him, those two together is a TERRIBLE mix)

most of all this does have to do w how he grew up, really. Ari is cannonically british (by which i mean, in my head he has a rlly subtle posh british accent that gets stronger the angrier he gets, which is even funnier to me bc the angrier he gets the more he swears and it usually involves a lot of FOCK and FOCKIN' and BLOODY being thrown around. like i get why OD would enjoy riling him up i rlly do-) which doesn't rlly have that much impact into his slsq story bc im not british and ik nothing abt britain but he is an immigrant and that's a lil bit important. to me. anyway-

he grew up in a very poor, very religious community somewhere in monarchy land (england), and was an extremely difficult, some would even say demonic, child. he's always had anger issues but it was MUCH worse when he was little (growing up he learns to deal w them to the point that getting him actually, truly angry without touching on what triggers him is extremely hard. good luck OD, his reaction to your annoying ass is mostly gonna be a sigh and a twitch of his fingers). his religious trauma, unlike w OD, has nothing to do w surviving catholic school (he went to a public school, somehow managed to be a massive nerd AND a delinquent at the same time, always had the highest notes of his class and was still despised by the teachers for being "disrespectful") and more w growing up surrounded by extremely religious people and realizing quite soon that praying did nothing to help w the systematic oppression they all were being crushed by. it only got worse when he started questioning the teachings of the church, growing more frustrated as he tried to get his peers to "see reason", and finally lost all hope when he went through his second exorcism (first one happened whem he was still very small, which im sure didn't fuck him up in any way whatsoever). has never entered a church since then, still knows some prayers that were burned into his brain and he can't forget no matter how hard he tries, genuinely believes that god never existed and if he did then he's fucking dead, and has a fascination w satanic symbols to this day that will probably never go away.

he had a somewhat mixed reputation growing up. in his tween years, he used the fact that he was considered "demonic" when little to scare and fuck with people who otherwise might have caused him problems. he got into constant fights in his childhood and his teen years, both because bullies would wrongly assume he'd be an easy target and then get punched and bitten and scratched until they cried, or because he was trying to protect someone else from being bullied. soon figured out that just not engaging unless someone else threw the first punch was a good way to de-escalate situations and keep him from getting in too much trouble (since he wouldn't be the one who "started it"), which was what made him begin to develop his stoic attitude. he started learning to control his anger because the people he wanted to protect were scared of him bc of his tendency to lash out, and because he realized that being in control of his emotions meant that he would fuck up less in high stress situations and make it easier to calm the people around him as well.

he got in constant trouble w the local authorities, being continuously searched and brought into the police station for a p big list of petty crimes (vandalism, theft, underage drinking, drug use, trespassing, public indecency, etc), but noticed that he was treated much more leniently than his POC friends who did much less shit than he did. which was also when his hatred for cops solidified.

life wasn't easy on him. he did a lot of questionable shit to get by, and he knows a lot of people in the same situations as him, so his morals are extremely gray as a consequence of it. he's not going to judge you for doing a bad. everyone does what they can to survive and survival is not a noble thing. he's extremely lenient w things that most ppl find unacceptable, and has a very clear understanding in his mind that everything is situational. which is why murder can be ok, and cannibalism can be ok, and any number of horrible things humans do can be justifiable and acceptable no matter what society says.

so he's not going to judge anyone on the cast of slsq for doing the things they do if they can justify it. but i can also very clearly see him killing the ones that do it just for the sake of it. with one exception: he will never murder the one he loves.

which is why i am sooooo excited to pair him up w OD, the one that kills p much without discrimination, and watch all the loopholes he forms in his mind to try and justify to himself why he's turning a blind eye to someone killing innocent people. he might try to nudge OD into having a smidge more of a standard, but if OD threatens to leave bc of it or gets too annoyed he's dropping it in a second. who knows, maybe OD is the one who might be able to convince him to drop the good guy "act" instead. who needs morals when you have love amirite?

i wouldn't say Vulpine is a yandere (there's too much effort to make sure that he and his loved one(s) are equals in every possible way for that i think), but with the borderline unhealthy, undying, nearly desperate devotion he develops for the ppl he falls for i think it's a pretty close thing tbh. he would do anything for his lover. anything. and he expects nothing in return. he just wants them to be happy, no matter what.

anyway uuuuhh there's so much more i can say abt Vulpine, i didnt even touch on his relationship w substance abuse or when he got arrested or his family, but this is already enormous, so have some specific slsq stuff instead (all of this is p much slsq specific tbh, Ari's backstory changes a lot depending on what story i decide to put him next, but some plot beats and traumas always stay the same): his mask of choice is similar to Cold's, a blank black mask, and his weapon of choice is a hunting knife. his specialty is informant (i was very tempted to make him a jack of all trades, bc one of his main characteristics is his adaptability, but i could NEVER envision him accepting doing that much for Carter. he would rather die), as mentioned previously his personality type is going to be apathetic w a side of caustic (still dont know if that's the right name but oh well), his clothing style is punk and practical and he wore ripped jeans for this bc he didn't know what he was getting himself into and he's soooo mad he didn't wear his cargo pants instead. he's actually kinda similar to Cold when it comes to superficial personality traits (stays quiet and observant most of the time, stealth killer, has a whole thing going on w shadows and anonymity and the mask, also exudes a intimidating aura that often scares people and gives him negative charisma. another reason he's not a jack of all trades is bc he'd make for an AWFUL bait)

and when in deep romance, if OD keeps trying to annoy him, he'll just kiss them to shut them up. it might just end up encouraging that kind of behavior long therm, but it works as a short therm solution so he doesn't rlly care-

(pt 1.)

Oh there is so much I could say that would veer into major spoilers for Overdose's route and beyond.

The Caustic personality is cynical, bitter, and sarcastic. Aggressive options will be separate and compatible with every personality type (aggressive doormats have been...interesting to write. imagine the most neurotic chihuahua-)

And concerning mc and Carter....there aren't a lot of job opportunities in Newcreed that aren't y'know, soul crushing drudgery, no matter what your relationship with Carter was, it was enough to pay rent if mc lived alone, or enough to afford necessities if they lived with the bastard.

And getting into Newcreed itself, The city is rotten. Crime rate is so high and the mayor doesn't do shit, the police don't do shit and the roads are fucked, but hey, expansive public transit and rent is low as hell. A lot of people immigrate to Newcreed (Cold and Sweetheart and his family are examples of this) because its a cheap place to live and the barriers for employment are little to none.

[frogs-in3-hills]

bored so i filled an aa tierlist have fun looking at that if you want. based on aa1 through 5, dgs1 & 2, aai, and parts of aai2 (still haven't finished it!)

honestly considered making it the women, phoenix, and ryuunosuke tier but ultimately had to bump ryuu down one because i don't think he's quite as entertaining as nick. but lets jsut say. i think so many people call him a "paragon protagonist" because they simply did not realize that he was having a wholeass beautiful arc alongside gina in adventures. which--gina is in the "i love their role" tier because it's not that i don't also like her on a personality/entertainment level, i just care more about what she represents wrt the themes of the first game and her relationships with the rest of the cast. she is shockingly irrelevant in resolve and it's a shame because she kind of needed that relevance for me to continue being invested in her... this stuff is why i say i prefer adventures

i am nothing if not a miney sisters lover

athena tier: i love her whole concept of "courtroom revolutionaire" i love her autistic swag i even love her kind of generic smile-so-you-don't-cry thing, she just got so fucking shafted by the story. couldn't even let her lead two cases when she should have been the main character. winner of the "most fucked over by the writers" contest not even dahlia can beat her. not even trucy. at least trucy had her game to shine before they killed her and replaced her with a robot

i like apollo juuust enough to not put him in fandom fav quarantine. can't get enough of his "disillusioned college student who gets three hours of sleep a night, such a fucking square and knows it, thinks everyone else in the room is a fucking idiot and that he can prove it by yelling louder than them" energy. and honestly his shit in aa5 isn't that bad on a macro level. aa6 is wild but in like a funny way. what i'm saying is who can blame him

speaking of the quarantine row i want to be clear i REALLY like all of these characters it's just that i don't care about them as much as fandom does so there's a part of me that's like "ugh" every time i see them :(

wish i could put iris and kay higher but to be honest neither of them are. that interesting. love them both, especially iris, but. yeah. i stand by my statement that iris is the heart of resolve but it's very much in a structural sense as opposed to one that centers her as a character.

i think shamspeare is way funnier than he really is

some clarifications with the "interesting concept" tier: yanni yogi is here almost solely because of the live action movie. they go really hard with him there. gregson because i don't care for him as a character but i really enjoyed the assassin twist. and with alita, it's not her "discount dahlia" bit that i find interesting, but just the general circumstances around her murder. aa4 just has a certain tone that can uplift even the boring characters. oh and you know now that i think about it i might have moved magnifi a little higher, above acro at least, because he really does loom heavy over the gramarye plotline despite his sparse presence

on "neutral but they have a good bit": doug and clay's bits are their stupid names, daryan and jezaille's bits are their stupid senses of style

actually i should have put van zieks in the good bit category too ah well i don't like how the racism thing played out so he can take being a little lower than he needs to be

i think all else is self explanatory. there are obviously more characters that could be on this list but none that i have interesting thoughts on. ok thanks for reading

[short-and-ugly]

Really normal length Skoodge analysis

Gonna just start with the simple things. Things you can get from watching one time alone. Maybe. Probably not I don't think you people think about him enough to gather any of this. No. I'm sorry I love you all. I'm just a specific level of detached from average not-Skoodge viewers and don't know what all is expected. It's that one meme "Even when compensating, experts in any field will overestimate the average person's knowledge."

It's rough. Let's get into it.

Speech is probably an easy one! Yeah? Yeah.

A lot of the things he says are very literal... there's a lot of tacting things that are currently happening. A lot of stating the obvious.

("I'm afraid!")

Admittedly... this is probably a byproduct of him not being a "main character." His dialogue is a lot less important than that of characters like Zim and Dib. But it's still worth talking about! I'd like to think it's genuinely just his personality to be obvious and talk about things as if people aren't already aware of them. Maybe even have him be a bit tone-deaf. That's more headcanon territory though! So let's walk on past that before I confuse myself and all of you.

DOUBLE NEGATIVES...!

... only happen once. In the background. While he's being talked over by a bunch of teammates.

("Yeah; really that's actually good and more logical cause I don't really wanna make a chain or nothing like that.")

His speech is a lot more casual and, in transcripts for unfinished episode(s)(?) almost innocent!

frothing at the mouth at this one actually i dont like it. not good. this is just exposition. he would not fucking say that (probably wrong) (this was written by the shows writers) (it still makes me angry)

This one I just wanted to add because it's silly. Look at how silly he is. He's just a fun loving guy. Why does his mind go to dancing straight away? We'll never know... the inner machinations of his mind are an enigma.

Skoodge reads as... more impulsive than anything (and maybe a little anxiety-riddled but that might also just be me projecting). He doesn't strike me as a critical thinker who really tries to like... weigh the consequences of his actions. He just does shit and when it doesn't work out he does more. I imagine that's what most irkens are like, actually, now that I think about it...

His gut instinct must be controlling him because if it isn't then I honestly can't find any good explanation as to how he's survived for so long.

Which perfectly segways me into something a little more analyzing-like:

Skoodge is a cockroach.

He got shot out of a cannon and still comes back to the Empire. He... really does seem to believe that being here will help him out somehow. As if it hasn't already been proven that nothing he will do will satisfy the society he hails from.

Desperation can make you do desperate things; and Skoodge's entire character just reeks of desperation.

From apparently being considered to eat his own skin (before being deemed too much by the network) [no screenshot available because I don't even know how I'd begin to look for it] to the more canonical screaming-like-a-baby whenever something happens to him, it kinda makes you wonder how the hell he even got to where he is in the first place.

Now, this is more speculation than actual evidence, but I think it's a fair enough bet to say that Skoodge earned his title as an invader. He has no height to propel him forward in society, so whatever he did would've had to've involved sheer tenacity and an inclination for survival.

He is almost definitely, genuinely, afraid of death. And because of that, he just... doesn't die.

I know at an objective view, he doesn't die because it's funnier that way, and helps with jokes and gags, but like... c'mon. This is a deep analysis post. I'm allowed to get a little indulgent with it.

Treading into more theorization-territory here.

Irkens are raging Xenophobes.

And Zim fits this bill perfectly! He's slotted himself into this mindset without any issue, making up... unique slurs for humans and other things he comes by. Because he tries too hard to be a perfect irken. Maybe. That's a topic for someone that's insane about Zim, not me. This is about my guy.

If Zim is the perfect representation of an irken soldier (on a purely superficial level), then Skoodge is an outlier. Not in that he's good at his job; he's supposed to be! No, rather, his differences lie in his temperance. His composure, whatever you call it. He is far too complacent and even possibly a bit meek, if you wanna go ahead and call him that.

You see that? That right there is respect for a... honestly almost certainly, by irken standards, inferior species.

Now, this could either mean one of three things.

Either A) Skoodge is not space racist (best case scenario)

or B) Skoodge lacks self-confidence; not seeing himself as superior, and thus being compliant and respectful to the obvious figure of authority in front of him.

or C) Skoodge does not have respect for his Empire (very unlikely, seeing as the only reason he's still here is because he's trying to gain a promotion from said Empire)

Shooting down option A immediately with this dialogue here (Battle Of The Planets)

Sorry folks... he is very much so still space racist.

As for option B...

I'm going to be completely honest here. I think I've been interpreting this wrong in my series. I have a whole lot of complex reasons explaining why Skoodge doesn't have much confidence, but honestly, he reads as more... chill. And down-to-earth, than he does as self-loathing.

There is possibly evidence of him having a more quiet and subdued personality, instead of just him not being a xenophobe; and it comes from the very first episode!

Crying in front of the tallest at the Assigning. Admittedly, Larb cried too; but he at least had enough push in him to say something.

Skoodge doesn't. He's even disheartened by the Tallest's initial jeering of him! Which admittedly, might not be the best example of low self-esteem, because those are the literal Leaders of his fucking Empire... but it is definitely a shift from him being the proud, confident, short-and-ugly invader that he's shown to be in Battle Of The Planets. Invading Blorch must've really (rightfully) inflated his ego.

Which he normally lacks.

He lacks ego, but that doesn't mean he lacks confidence. He knows that he's good at things in spite of his flaws, and takes pride in it! Even though that pride ends up shooting him in his own foot. Sad.

And why is it that he lacks ego? Every other irken thus far (sans maybe Sizz-lorr) has demonstrated just how... important. It is for them to have one. How almost ingrained into their nature their egos are. Why does Skoodge not go on to boast about his glory when any other irken in his situation would? Again, it's going to be another one of those things that I just can't be too sure about, but I'm going to hazard to say that it's because he's so physically flawed. Short and ugly. (Probably the reason why his uniform is stained. Why put forth the effort to make your uniform look good if it's impossible for the rest of you?)

There is. Almost no doubt in my mind, that he's had to fight tooth and nail to get to where he is, claw his way to the top. And if he's done that, he knows the struggle of being lower? He knows because no matter how high he gets, he'll still always be that "lower"? augh. what the fuck.

Skoodge has been humbled by this because he's been reminded of it at almost every point in his life. He doesn't boast to inferiors because he knows that there is nothing to boast, that he is technically one of those inferiors. Because even despite his successes, someone will always go on to point out his flaws.

Which really brings attention to Battle Of The Planets, to the Tallest pointing out his flaws. He just had his greatest success. Purple gave him one flaw, he gave another. And he gave it proudly.

... SECRET FOURTH OPTION D YEAHHHH BABY!!!!

FAWN RESPONSE.

With his inclination towards survival it would make sense to reason that he's only polite in front of potentially-threatening company because it means that he's less likely to get pummeled for being. Anything else.

Being polite is just as credible a survival technique as anything else! We just don't get to see any other irkens using it.

Skoodge is. Competent. He conquered his planet first!

He's a good invader. And that's probably because he knows when to run.

He's very vocal about it, if he knows (or thinks) that there's someone around to assist him. Silent with his impending doom (ha) at the Assigning, but very very loud when being chased down in the canyon by the hogulus in Hobo 13.

Now, I don't know about you, but irkens don't really strike me as the kind of species to back down from anything. To me, they read as more of a "do it or die" kinda group. Again, this whole trait kiiiinda almost begging to be pegged as outlier. The only thing that makes me on the fence about this one is, again, the fact that it's a cartoon and Skoodge's fear might be for the sake of gags.

That doesn't really explain this though. He has literally no reason to be scared here. In this specific scenario (Day Of Da Spookies! unfinished episode) he's disguised as a human. Every person there is none the wiser to him and his alien nature. He's just... like this...? All the time? Apparently? Maybe?

Or maybe! There's other things at play here!

Skoodge is competent...

... but.

A friend put it into better words than I could:

His brain turns to mush whenever he's around Zim.

(Honestly, the volunteer line might actually add on to his possible lack of self-respect? Hard to say if it's that, or if he's just that desperate to give respect at the sign of any spare bit of authority, even if that authority comes from an irken shorter than him.)

It makes me wonder if most of what we've seen of him is just Zim's influence on him. Scared at the Assigning? He didn't know Zim was there, so that had to have been genuine. Saluting to an inferior species? He had to have known that Zim was there, because Zim introduced himself first (and very loudly at that), but I think it was also genuine because Zim wasn't directly influencing him?

Screaming because of the hogulus and running like a child from some humans? Those are almost definitely Zim's doing. I just. Don't know How.

Screaming is a weakness, I think; at least it should be (in the eyes of irkens), and when Skoodge does it he does it because he seems convinced that Zim will help him. And yet Zim never does! Skoodge has no reason to believe this!

But still, believe he does.

They had to have been... kind of close? At one point in their lives.

Potentially. I don't know how close a person can get to Zim, but Skoodge has just barely managed to do it, by virtue of the fact that he is quite possibly the only living thing in the universe that can tolerate being around Zim for more than five seconds.

And his cockroach-itude. That definitely helps. You can't be killed by Zim's passive destructive radius if you genuinely just can't fucking die at all.

But that explains nothing of his weird eagerness to do things for Zim. It borders on obsessive. It might actually be obsessive, since he's apparently been living in Zim's vents ever since the events of Hobo 13. Without telling him.

Skoodge is fucking deranged. Skoodge doesn't even register as a blip on Zim's radar of people-to-acknowledge, but he will still always just do things for him, and be excited to, too!

I don't know what's wrong with him. The less easy and definitely one too many steps detached from canon explanation would be that he views Zim as the ideal irken and strives to be like him. The easiest explanation would be that he just really likes Zim.

Gosh. Even that still raises the question of how or why he would. Zim is fucking terrible to not just him, but everyone. He is unbiased in whose life he ruins.

And Skoodge is perfectly content with just letting Zim ruin his.

man. i hate him. i really really do.

[utilitycaster]

I will say the current discourse becomes a lot funnier when you remember that Imogen suggested to and in front of Laudna (she did it more than once!) potentially siding the Vanguard AFTER one of them murdered her in cold blood just to get a rise out of Imogen -

- and *somehow* that hasn’t had the lasting impact on fandom that Orym fucking nodding at Laudna as she kills someone who just tried to murder them has?

Truly, bowlgate could *never*.

Hey anon,

Honestly while this is all very speculative and based on the relatively small cross-section of the fandom I see, as a person who will not touch Reddit and barely checks Twitter, the Orym and Laudna stuff feels cut from the same cloth as Bowlgate.

For reasons I cannot accurately pinpoint, though I have my theories, since I started watching and joined the fandom with the start of C2 there seem to have been people - maybe the same people, maybe there's been turnover - who have decided any interaction Marisha and Liam's characters have that isn't clearly entirely amicable (and some that are) is in fact an act of hostility. This has always baffled me, given that in Campaigns 1 and 2 they played characters who are particularly close, and that in Campaign 3 Liam's character is very much in homage to Keyleth. Insofarasmuch as I know the lives of the cast (ie, I don't), they seem to be extremely good friends, and from what I see at the table they have remarkably similar styles, a shared love of character conflict, and excellent chemistry (platonic or romantic). It has never made sense to me how intensely some people pit them against each other, either as Beau and Caleb or as Laudna and Orym, particularly when Marisha and Liam have never seemed to have even an ounce of rancor towards each other.

It feels very much born out of the "the only way to be a good character (or fan) is to be entirely deferential to my personal favorite character" mentality, and I've always found that mentality to be...deeply sad, honestly. I've said before that it baffles me that people watch a show with an ensemble cast of 7 players and act repulsed and offended when it's not a solo act. And for a fandom for a show where we just, demonstrably, treated a 3.5 hour episode as "unexpectedly short?" That is a huge amount of time to sink into something where you are miserable every minute that Laudna, or Marisha (or whoever your favorite character or actor is) isn't in the spotlight and leading the charge and given the royal treatment - let alone to watch CR with what appears to be an assumption that nearly everyone else at the table is actively out to undermine your favorite actor. That sounds exhausting and painful, and once I started thinking about that it made much more sense how vile and bitter these comments about an extremely mild choice from Liam and Orym is; because it's not really about Orym. It's about the nature of the show itself, which has always been the case and is unlikely to change. It might be other long-untended resentments as well. I'm reminded, tangentially, of how when I was frustrated with FCG as a character early on, I'd occasionally get people piling on in my inbox for utterly unrelated criticisms not of FCG but of Sam as a player that I found really offputting and which often made me pretty uncomfortable.

I do wonder if these people are not just upset that Orym (and Liam) are simply present; but if they are also frustrated with other things - perhaps with the campaign generally, or perhaps with Laudna herself - that they are afraid to admit they feel given how much they have staked their identity on their fandom preferences. Which again, sounds terribly lonely and draining and something to be pitied, irritating as it is for the rest of us.

Anyway, I think the best thing for everyone in the fandom not trapped in that particular mire of bad faith, cognitive dissonance, and curdled resentment to do is move on. I actually found it really heartening how many people on my post about Laudna's anger at Orym being entirely about the power from the siphon and nothing personal to Orym were like "until I saw this post it did not even occur to me that there was another interpretation of this scene." I certainly haven't been as good about this as I'd like to be, but I've really been trying as of late to approach the above paranoid reading mentality by depriving it of oxygen. In addition to the interesting conflicts brewing, there's been some great lore drops as of late. How about that portal?

[glitched-username]

★heyllooo-★

★..sooo, erm, based on your latest post regarding concepts with rottmnt g/t and stuff, a little concept has been spiraling around in my head based on - these parts of your rambles★ :

★And this- has got me thinkinggg.. what if everyone who got mutated into an animal of some sorts just, as you said, let's the size take priority ?? Now this could go both ways, like- a person, depending on the species that they turn into after getting bitten by an oozequito (how is it spelled, help) has the misfortune of forming onto said size★

★Im, gonna give some very specific examples here★ :

|⭐| For instance, if a person transforms into some sort of a bug, it is safe to say that their size would reduce to just a couple of inches tall, maybe even smaller than that.

|⭐| They get turned into a bunny ?? Then their new found size should be about 10-20 inches tall-..I think- I dunno, (by the way, the smallest species of a rabbit is called a pygmy bunny and they can reach up to only 12 inches tall.. I think-)

|⭐| They happen to be close to an orca during the process of their mutation ?? They might just reach a length of 5.5 to 9.8 meters .. pretty big.

★You get the idea- well, you pretty much formed it.. Unlessss, the sizey thing was just a hiccup that occured because the mutant-gen was still in testing and stuff- ?? (or is it empyrean ?? Fuck I gotta go to the turtle-pedia- ) ★

★either way, it would make for a pretty cool, ermm, concept to add to the 'ROTTMNT' universe- !!★

★..(and imagine the tons of g/t content we could feast on (⁠☆‹ ☆⁠) !!)★

★yeah ermm, your rambling is quite cool by the way anddd, (I hope that..i dunno, you meet a giant in real life that just so happens to be like rise!raph)★

Oh, Draxum 100% would not have wanted the animal height to take priority, he just didn't think of the way heights would be affected with the mutation. Many dangerous/strong animals are actually much smaller than humans (wolves, spiders, monkeys, etc.) so he would be more interested in trying to find a way to prioritize the human height to a certain point. Super dumb way I could phrase it but, it'd kinda be like

if(HumanHeight > AnimalHeight){

HumanHeight = Height;

}

else{

AnimalHeight = Height;

}

idk if that makes sense but that's how I view it (can you tell I'm a fucking donnie kinnie lmao). And this is also my excuse so that the other mutants that appear in the show are still their OG sizes instead of getting to the heights of crabs and pigs. Would also make it funnier when the rogues gallery are giants compared to the turtles and yet the turtles still manage to kick ass.

Honestly Draxum would only recognize the boys as his creations by their height and is just like "well, they still have lou jistu DNA and survived THIS long... maybe I can still work with this?"

Anyway currently writing some stuff based on this au and I'm starting with the first meeting with April, which if you read my thoughts on how that would go... teehee

And Imma be real, I'm projecting hard when I write about giant raph stuff, because I would love to have that mystic power. idk who assembled my tiny 5 foot 2 self in the factory but I am ridiculously giant coded lmao. I would lose my mind immediately if I got some borrower friends. I even got a tiny handheld robot guy that I love because he's a tiny robot friend :))