#which freaking sucks but idk how to get rid of it so

[mohntilyet]

i’m having illario dellamorte thoughts. what if instead of knowingly betraying lucanis he did it like, unknowingly. idk how this would work but i’m intrigued by what it gives us. illario ‘i accidentally caused my cousin’s death & can never tell anyone’ dellamorte. genuinely grieving. blaming himself. does he take advantage of the year before lucanis comes back?? does caterina still ignore him the whole time?? how different is the canon plotline once rook shows up with lucanis post-rescue…..

anyways i would love your thoughts!!

95% of what i do with illario operates on the idea that he is frighteningly competent so you can see why the way the crows plotline plays out in the game might frustrate me. it’s also this reason why i don’t actually think too much about “illario got lucanis killed, but didn’t mean to do it”, because i like the idea that everything illario does in his life is planned to the second and that he’s too well trained to mess up this badly, if that makes sense. with that being said. 5% of my brain power does sometimes go towards “and what if he just sucked actually” and it was a theory i enjoyed before the game even released. so i have in fact been thinking about this anyway LOL . maybe he tries to honeypot zara, accidentally actually reveals lucanis’ next assassination job, and zara gets rid of him as a ‘gift’. illario is horrified and that gets even worse when lucanis’ body shows up, and he assumes this must be because he spurned zara by leaving her and not having the guts to seize power.

i think we could make his inferiority complex worse. illario’s worst fear confirmed: he is as worthless as his grandmother believes he is, botching something so badly that he accidentally sentences his cousin to death when what he wanted was lucanis just… out of the way for a bit (maybe while he kills caterina. LOL. i still think his resentment of caterina trumps his jealousy for lucanis though those two things are very intertwined its hard for him to differentiate them). so incapable that he got the only person who actually supports him killed, and now he’s dreading the idea of becoming first talon. he doesn’t want first talon without lucanis backing him, and now the only person left is caterina which is suffocating and makes him even unhappier. at least he hadn’t lived through her alone, and now through consequences of his own decisions, illario has no choice but to.

i think that would affect his plans for talon because of how horribly he’d fucked up, and tries to mask it because if he suddenly actually doesn’t want to be talon that would be a red flag for everyone. lucanis coming back would delight him (talon is within his sights again if lucanis comes back!) and freak him out. i think the plotline would actually be pretty similar because of this freak out, so he still shows up to zara’s fight to cover his tracks. lucanis can never know, caterina can never know, because what little faith they have in him will be lost. like he committed fratricide and didn’t even MEAN to😭 ...corpse whispering still happens, and zara is like “ohhh that coward. he can never finish what he started, can he?” + “elaborate.” + “i gave him what he most wanted in the world and instead of being grateful, he ran away.” so lucanis finds out about what happened but feels a mix of “illario, you idiot” + pity because turns out he didn’t even mean for it to happen, and keeps his secret for now, otherwise he’d probably have to kill him.

i also think not meaning to kill lucanis would sour his feelings towards the venatori, who are a reminder of how badly he failed, so the alliance wouldn’t happen. this does mean if the story goes on as it does in canon, he has to take desperate measures another way and kidnap caterina for some other reason but i can’t think of why….. maybe a thing where illario is like “ok. lucanis is distracted by the elven gods. this time i just have to kill nonna for real and then nothing is in my way” and recruits disgraced houses or houses that don’t like caterina to do so? not sure tbh but i don’t believe caterina made it so far without making enemies lol. this would happen post bloodbath + corpse whispering— lucanis leaves his cousin unchecked because while he knows illario didn’t mean for him to die, he has no idea how far he would go to have caterina dead. teia could find out about this and send word to foil the kidnapping and assassination attempt

so ‘murder of crows’ is still about saving caterina, the illario-lucanis fight still happens, but it’s a little more hesitant and lots of “why won’t you just let me kill her? i’m doing this for the both of us”. he’s had to live with being the un-favorite, but never would have thought lucanis would actually pick caterina if it came down to it. with all of his missteps here, i think the final decision (and i think it should be like this in canon anyway) would be to imprison illario or kill him. imprisoning him is just a lot of “i can’t kill illario as much as he couldn’t kill me”, vs killing him as is expected from him as talon, and what he knew he would have to do after finding out about illario's failures. unlike canon, where illario is actually meaning to kill him and can be seen as a 'good crow' despite the sloppiness, here he's like. just bad at everything. the allied traitor houses that went against caterina would also have to be imprisoned or killed. no happy ending at all here, and lucanis still becomes first talon. now that i’ve written it out this is actually probably the worst ending LOL

the above sticks a lot to what is canon to the game (plot points, choices, etc) and i didn’t go very far away from it so it's like canon 3 inches to the left. tho my thoughts on this are not fleshed out* because i think illario works better as an antagonist character that sets things in motion !! not necessarily the villain in a cain-abel story, but a character who opposes lucanis while still not wanting to hurt him. that kind of discipline where he finds a way to get what he wants (first talon) without compromising what he also cares for (family) is so much more fun for me than a man who apparently just loses it and decides to enact a bad plan to get rid of his cousin. if he waited 20+ years to become talon i think he’d be more careful when it came down to it. if i had my way illario would be playing insane 5d chess to rival solas (insert black sails “i once thought that to lead, to be liked was just as good as feared. and that may very well be true. but to be both liked and feared all at once, is an entirely different state of being.”)

[poisonpercy]

Ok just finished the 3rd episode of the show. From a completely outside perspective without comparing it to the books, it’s a fine episode. The writing does fall flat imo, and it doesn’t keep my attention. It’s also still very hard to see what’s happening when it’s supposed to be dark. When will Hollywood let dark scenes be visible again?

Ok, now for more specific thoughts:

The scene with the Oracle sucked in my opinion. Idk it just seemed so much more grander in the book. The scene in the show lacked the mystic and off putting nature of the Oracle, so it kinda just didn’t work for me. I did like that they remembered that Gabe was the voice of the Oracle in tlt, so that was nice

How Percy chooses his quest mates in the show is different in the show than in the books. This isn’t a bad thing, but I do miss Annabeth volunteering herself to be Percy’s 3rd quest mate like she does in the books. Idk I just think it really showed her eagerness to prove herself and get a quest. The show scene doesn’t do that, but I’m not mad at the change

The interaction between Grover and Percy when Percy tells Grover he was chosen to go on the quest was so cute. I love those 2 boys. Besties for life

Percy telling Luke that he thinks the drachmas are from Chuck E. Cheese was hilarious

With Luke in mind, I love how manipulative he is. Like he is so nice, but it’s because he has ulterior motives. I do like that his manipulation is not overt, so you don’t know that he’s the one that ultimately betrays Percy

I personally didn’t find the “she met a pine cone’s fate” line that Percy said funny. It honestly came off kind of rude. It’s definitely something that Percy would say in ttc when Thalia and him are beefing, but not when he finds out about her death. Percy is supposed to be kind and empathetic, and he shows so much sympathy for Thalia and her fate when he hears her story in the book. Idk just felt like that line was ooc during this moment in time

Grover’s song was so cute and funny, it had me cracking up fr

Percy trying to get all of them to vote throughout the episode is hilarious. My boy just wants to have a say in things

Annabeth grabbing all that candy was perfect. It really shows she’s just a 12 year old girl that didn’t get to experience the joys of childhood (also, I feel like overall that the show is forgetting that Annabeth is not a stoic character. Like she very much acts her age. I hope the writers let Annabeth have more personality in later episodes)

I miss the book fight sequence with the furies on the bus. It was so chaotic and there was so much tension. Percy steering the bus and crashing it and the bus exploding was perfect, and I’m sad that they got rid of that in the show. The fight scene in the show was just so underwhelming. I feel like those should be the knock out moments of the episodes but they breeze past them so fast and give no tension. It just falls flat (curse you Mickey Mouse!! I know it’s your fault!)

I do appreciate that Grover keeps trying to diffuse the fights between Annabeth and Percy. They are both his friends, and he can see why they keep butting heads. If only the 2 would listen to him

I do miss how the trio finds Auntie Em’s in the book. Like Annabeth and Percy were dumbass 1 and 2 that followed their stomachs while Grover freaked the fuck out. That was so fun. The show had Grover find and follow the smell instead which is fine, but the og scene was better imo

That being said, they guessed that it was Medusa way too quickly in the show. I like the mystery of Auntie Em’s identity in the book better tbh

“I definitely trust my mom” <- Percy exceeds the momma’s boy standards

I don’t mind the change to Medusa’s character. I actually really enjoyed her (the actresses voice is so gorgeous and calming). I like how she’s like “we’re not our parents until we choose to be them.” It really sets up the ultimate direction of the series imo

Regarding the fight scene with Medusa, it sucked. To begin with, you can hardly see what’s happening bc it’s so dark. Also there was no tension or chaos. It kind of just happened? I also didn’t like that Medusa was killed when Annabeth’s cap was on her. I know it’s because Disney probably thought the death would have been too graphic or whatever, but I would have liked to see what happened

It was cool that Percy used Medusa’s head to kill Alecto

I felt so many emotions when Grover said “He’s not like the others. He doesn’t look afraid” about his Uncle Ferdinand

The beginnings of Percy’s and Annabeth’s friendship is so good. Annabeth not taking the deal with Alecto to give Percy over and killing her sister. Percy not taking Medusa’s offer to get rid of Annabeth and Grover so he can save his mother. It’s perfect. They’re going to become each other’s chosen person and they don’t even know it yet

LMM as Hermes jump scare. Still not a fan of the Hermes casting

Anyways, overall the show just isn’t working for me. I do appreciate Walker, Leah, and Aryan because they are perfect. They are honestly doing such a great job! The writers, however, are not. I’m trying so hard to think of this show as its own entity so I can enjoy it more, but I haven’t been able to so far. Despite that, I am excited to see where the show ends up going (even if I end up not liking it)

[mazzystar24]

Thank you so much for being so kind and replying to my ask! I think I understand it a little better now and I do agree with some of it. There were really sweet moments between them that made me happy but OH how it hurt to see buck just standing outside the restaurant. Yeah he freaked out a little but even lou said it wasn't ok of tommy and he wouldn't have done that. His defenders should really look into that lol judging from his interviews, he is a buddie endgame shipper and I love that

I'm kinda used to people blaming everything on buck but it still sucks. If he "shoved tommy back in the closet", they also have to acknowledge the comment tommy made when eddie was there...thank goodness he was so oblivious

But I do blame the writers a little bit for making tommy seem so...distant? Mysterious? There's potential because he has a connection to their world but we don't know nearly enough about him. We know chim, hen and bobby were good with him when he left all those years ago but now? Show us!!

Most of all, I hope they are not "done" with buck's storyline because he deserves more. He was barely a side character for the remaining episodes and that made me really sad. Oliver looks happier again though, so maybe there's hope?

No problem ofc like as long as you’re respectful to me I’ll always give that back

UGHH YESSS ABT THE COMMENT AT THE DATE LIKE IF TOMMY WAS IN FACT OUT AND BUCK WAS PUSHING HIM IN THE CLOSET AS THEY CLAIM THEN TOMMYS LINE WOULD IN FACT BE OUTING HIM

Like personally I do take it as dig meant for buck only to understand - which brings its own fucking rage to me ngl but these toxic fans’ interpretation is somehow even worse for their fav

Me personally sorry but I’m kinda like just get rid of tommy atp and you know that but I totally get how you feel and would be disappointed in your place too

Also I totally agree and definitely hope that they really delve into and develop Buck’s bi arc further

I think they honestly kinda fumbled last season because of the shorter season and how much shit they tried to fit like I was saying this before but s8 should’ve been treated like s1/s2 where like you have some character building and like personal shit and then keep the rest fairly uncomplicated with like a few big things here and there and a strong sense of found family in it and hitting that balance of not overloading yourself while also keeping things interesting

Instead we kinda had boom big thing boom big thing boom here is an even more complicated big thing boom another big thing and it all felt very frazzled and all over the place and also really fragmented

And cos of all these big things you end up not able to give any one big thing the levity or development or the depth it can have

Leading to a mess of having buck pushed straight to the sidelines story wise after two eps of his bi arc then bobby having shit from Minnesota but also cartel and also house getting burnt down but also him being suicidal but also him nearly dying and us getting no scenes from the team at his bedside and then you have Eddie and his doppelgänger mess and chimney and his enciphillitus and it’s just all gives you a little bit of an overload without ever getting the pay off or the development

Like I love the show and love the writing for the most part but I gotta say s8 had a strong start that I thought it’d battle for my fav season but then it just started slipping when you could feel how limited in eps they were and also the writing style of not planning ahead for a lot of things

Idk if I explained any of that clearly 😭😭

[simpee9000]

bakugou headcannons except they kinda suck:

•people assume he's a dog person (which is partially true) but he's more of a cat person bc they're more chill and do/like what they want.

•it doesn't matter if he's an adult now, he will never get rid of his all-might stuff.

•he has friendship bracelets, necklaces, and other jewelry in a little jewelry box since he doesn't wear any. (due to both his quirk possibly ruining them, and also he doesn't want to break them from physical activity. I feel like he would wear matching friendship bracelets with you even if he'd act like he doesn't want to, but he just can't:( )

•hates the rain bc it washes off his sweat thus making it more difficult to use his quirk. That and, when he was little there was something stupid like it rained on his 6th birthday which ruined his outside party so it just fueled his hate more out of spite or something.

•all his socks and underwear match (they're all just black) and he used to fold his underwear. He grew out of it when he became an adult.

•him and his dad were definitely in the boy scout stuff when he was little (his dad being a councilor or whatever while katsuki was apart of it) and his mom was like a huge soccer mom/football mom that would be soooo involved in his practices/games and would yell from the sidelines and yell at refs. I can also see all 3 of them having matching t-shirts or something for events or Disneyland idk

•best thought-out gifts for friends and loved ones.

•definitely the type to talk/yell/kick/punch in his sleep OR do that snoring thing where he abruptly stops and it freaks you out and you have to check if he's breathing or not. 💀💀

•loves those knowledge game shows or board games bc he's of course super smart and loves to win. Also loves games like sorry or any revenge games. Just likes games in general (bc he loves to win).

•knows a lot about pokemon, he would collect cards when he was little with izuku.

I have more but idrk how accurate or good these are. I love your writing and character interpretations and have a lovely day :)

Imma give my opinions in order cause these are good-

Bakugo would love dogs that are tamed, so if he got one he'd need the time to train it. And he's a hero so- that doesn't really work too well, because he knows dogs misbehave when lonely. Therefore he would prefer cats, they are still great companions but are insanely easy to train. They wouldn't need his constant attention. So i agree that he leans to liking cats more because he'd feel guilty leaving a dog all alone.

Nah, Bakugo keeps his All Might stuff 100%, no chance he gets rid of it. He might put most of it in boxes and just leave some stuff in his office, but he'd never throw it out. He'd also want to give his old all might clothes to his kid if he had them.

He'd definitely wear a bracelet with someone, he'd just never mention it. He'd just silently do it and roll his eyes if it gets mentioned. He'd take it off before hero work tho

he likely hates rain because of the quirk factor but everything else is also funny. Bro probably slipped in rain while playing a sport and forever hated it.

boy scouts is a thing idc, he just looks like it in a weird way because at the same time it looks like he took piano lessons.

his gifts have to be top tear because the ones he gives are things you don't know you need, or forgot you wanted. And he doesn't even look at the price, he just knows it'd help make things easier. Very thoughtful.

i doubt he'd fight in his sleep but he'd nudge. like take over the bed and slowly push someone off. he probably snores like a cartoon character.

bro loves trivia, it's like the one thing he hopes for when someone says they are playing a game.

Enough said really

Thank you! Sorry I didn't reply to this until now, I was trying to morph some ideas in a fic but then I realized if I air out these ideas people might suggest more to me. These help me so much tho- helps me pin how a character should interact and respond more.

Thanks <3

[zeroducks-2]

hi! maybe spoilers ahead for the upcoming flash issues? i’m not really sure. i wanna preface that this is all speculation and i could be completely wrong about this, but the upcoming solicitations for spurrier’s flash #13 and the leaks for #14 that were posted on twitter the other day are kinda making me worry barry isn’t going to be around for much longer in the mainline continuity. which imo would kind of suck because the man has already spent more than two decades dead for goodness sake. i can’t figure out if i’m just being insane and jumping to conclusions or?? do you think they’d kill him again and if they did, would it stick as long as it did the first time around? don’t get me wrong, i love wally, but i’d be sad if they had barry die again bc he’s a great character too and i feel like there’s room in the dc universe for both of them. idk if you follow current flash stuff at all and i totally get it if you don’t want to respond to this for spoiler reasons but i’ve been worrying about this all day and i need to get it off my chest by asking somebody about this. i haven’t seen anybody else talking about this so maybe i’m just freaking out over nothing 😭

Hey anon. I wouldn't worry about the spoilers since we're just talking speculations, but I'm going to be real with you. I've been scared that DC might want to get rid of Barry AGAIN for months now.

It does seem that they're building up to that, and for some reason they aren't able to understand that if something flops, it isn't because of the titular character being received poorly - it's because they did a shit job. I'm talking about that movie with Ezra Miller that performed poorly because it was done poorly, but DC might and likely did interpret it as a disinterest from people towards Barry Allen (even if Flash fans hated the movie for the opposite reason).

I am being told that Barry is still selling merchandise which is a good sign, but I'm not sure how safe he is at the moment. Now if something really bad happens to him, I'm pretty sure they will also bring him back pretty quickly - everything with DC got quicker, and no important character stays dead for more than 12 months at this point. That being said, Si Spurrier already did some lore breaking things because he very much did not read Flash comics and likes to come up with his own explanations for everything, which is absolutely stupid. So if they do kill Barry and Spurrier is the one who brings him back, I'm not looking forward to the nonsense he'll come up with 😅

I'm sorry anon I would have rather reassured you about this and told you not to worry, unfortunately I've been fearing the same thing for a while. Let's hope we're all mistaken and nothing bad happens.

[taegularities]

OMG WHAT THE HELL ..C&f jungkook is gonna be a Da— *chokes on doritos and we are getting something please tell me you are gonna write it .. imma lick all the crumbs you throw at me Rid no matter how small 🥺😭 i actually miss them alot and tumblr is fucking up my asks again for the 100th time..and it is so freaking annoying cuz what do you mean that it has been 10 days and not a single author of mine has answered my asks even though they are actively answering other asks ..😑 imma sue this bitch Rid fr ..it swallows all my asks and here i am checking my tumblr for a single notif like ..Even AFTER the UPDATE !!@!! I cant believe i wasted my precious data on this useless bitch 🥲 back to fangirling my precious man ..i cant freaking wait to see how he would react and behave with his baby ..i just cant help but imagine him being a girl dad , giving her piggy back rides, making her wear tiaras and cuddling his baby on his chest omg it is just soft though ..feeding her and cooing ..whispering soft and sweet things ..smooching the hell out of her cheeks cuz he couldnot get enough.. getting teary when she takes her first baby step 😫😩💗 He would give his all to his precious baby ........

C&f jk: how is your married life going , you bored already ? What changes(good ones if) did you experience after getting married cuz i bet you are missing your bachelor life 😁? Any heated argument in between which was diff than than the other ? 🧐

C&f y/n : How many babies hmmm?😏👻

Jungkook: "Hmmm... I wouldn't say I miss the bachelor life. I was useless and broke quite a few hearts, which is nothing to be proud of. But it's been over a year and I can barely remember."

Jungkook: "So those changes just feel like life now. A glorious one, however. I am lucky. Looking at where I am now and who I am with, I would not want to swap with anyone because..."

Jungkook, zones off, then comes back: "I'm... content with married life."

OC: "Oh... how many? Hm. One of the best things about us is that we do not plan but let everything happen. So time will tell."

OC: "...But. Morethanone?"

—

nawh i'm sorry love, tumblr might be eating asks yeah, the site sucks sometimes!!! 😭 hopefully it doesn't happen again :') and yes!! daddy jk is on his way for sure, and idk how ready we are for it... :') <3 (ALSO PLS NOT THE GIRL DADDY SCENARIOS I WILL PASS OUTTTT)

[mamamittens]

Well, I got halfway through a comm, so there's that. Then I realized it was Whoops All Set Up and I hadn't considered how to write the interactions to lead up to that smut so I took a step back to think it over.

I was asked for fluffy romcom and I'll be damned if I don't deliver it!

But that's a later problem, here's me rambling about ideas for an alternative shine riolu design for Platinum, Fin's service pokemon.

So, I decided against keeping canon colors and mostly the same design cause damnit, I still don't like the yellow.

I'm sure game freak had lovely reasons for the yellow but I hate it.

Away it goes!

And anyway, while I was at it, I figured I'd further tweak the design to highlight how Platinum was specifically picked for Finley. Perhaps as a favor from someone who was really moved by her tragic backstory.

Silver, her original Abra, looked pretty normal aside from a spiky ring on his tail. But that's more because it was pretty early in the days of Designer Breeding more geared towards unique iterations of pokemon. Particularly driven by the growing market for coordinators trying to get a leg up. And as a standard ish support pokemon he didn't need to look outstanding, just more identifiable if something happened.

So I decided towards a slightly artistic inspiration.

A mostly silver/gray coat explains the name easily enough. And I do like the original color pallette so I kept the blue/black. They also look unexpectedly tall and that's partly because I suck at the proportions but idk, maybe Platinum is just unusually tall as well lol

The flourishes make Plat look more rugged and (according to my roommate) dirty lol. But it's meant to be like paint brushes and paint splatter. Had no interest in a rainbow baby or anything too crazy.

The goofy leg/pant bulge looks more like a deliberate attempt to imply shorts, which I appreciate more than trying to figure out wtf canon is doing with that drumstick butt (or frankly dick shaped torso, it's so damn close to being a dick, I can't unseen it and I'm sorry you won't be able to either).

This is without any support pokemon gear. A vest is the obvious choice but when he evolves it'll have to be adjusted cause of the chest spike Lucario has. Maybe I'll just stick to a bandana? Or a belt?

...ah, I forgot to try the button... Well, whatever. I like it as is regardless. It's a little fancy but not too busy? If anything I might get rid of the 'holes' in the dark sections so it's just paint splatter inspired.

Be easier to draw at least lol

Idk if I mentioned earlier but Fin's official job is illustration/painting. Mostly for books and other projects she can consult for and do at home rather than travel. Very much a home body until the start of the fic when she decides she's well enough to handle it. Likes watercolor specifically for painting personal projects such as her old team's books or for friends (when she finally has them). But does oils, acrylics, murals, and mixed mediums as well.

Perhaps Platinum was a 'thank you' gift for a personal mural from a breeder who put Platinum through official support pokemon courses.

Despite being a support pokemon, Platinum is just as happy in a battle as any other riolu. His first duty is just to Fin though. So he would be more likely than most to forfeit a match if his trainer showed too much distress or lash out unexpectedly in times of peril.

This both pairs well with the rest of her destined team and against one specifically who would rather be doing that themselves. But for now I'll leave it at that lol.

Platinum will be her only special/shiny Pokemon. Unlike Edna, she doesn't have any connections or unexpected 'gifts' netting her rare pokemon.

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary390

10/16-17/24

wednesday - thursday

sushi was postponed...

sad because today i was going crazy how hungry i was, my gf had to order food and i had to eat leftovers... maybe i'm screwed up if a lot of my calories seem to come from snacking on carbs... if that's the only thing like holding me over... idk... whatever though, it does kind of feel good to not eat a lot i guess, or, eat less, since i already didn't eat a lot. is that messed up, sorry, i guess the being hungry is leaving me scattered. or maybe i'm just deprived of sugar and that's also good for me...my brain is adjusting... guess i am a freak fiend for sugar.

anyway, got ending a of fear and hunger termina... a lot to say and i'm sleepy. i learned to get ending b, at the tower, i need to kill everybody and that made me cry a little, honestly, it made me so sad! i can't hurt them, or i can, i guess i will... to see... because it seems like a happy ending for the character you put through there and everyone kind of deserves that happy ending. but gosh. i don't want to hurt them, i like them too much. ending a was shockingly easy, or, i guess i got lucky, apparently miro is gonna be nerfing damage over time and the blade weapon, the meat grinder thingy, i don't think it's thingy, it's just meat grinder, but i got the final boss with damage over time from poison, bleeding, and burning i think. i'm glad i did, but i guess if i'm any good, i'll be able to figure out a good strategy by the time the update arrives and i'll be able to do that route without being too cheap... but it feels like being cheap with the enemies is intended, because they can mess you up bad. so i think some of that will remain. i hope miro keeps it playable for people like me who really really suck at games, is all. i guess i have easy mode though. i don't mind doing that. what else...

well, thinking more on the meaning of the game, it's still difficult to put anything together entirely about that, there's a lot of stuff i looked at in the dialogue though, between certain characters, that makes them more affecting to me, the game gets more emotional as i think about it more. very odd, or not odd really, that's how lots of things are, the emotional experience eventually crystalizes into something more easy to articulate, and you don't necessarily give anything away when you do. i remember being scared of that as a kid, and early adult, that telling people these thoughts made them less important inside you, that was just clinginess, our private experiences remain such, heavy as always, it is a curse really that you can never be rid of them, an inkiness always following you. anyhow, reading marina's dialogue when she's in your party rather than play her, it reminded me of when i've had people in vegas and shown them around, pointing at how awful things are, hating the place in front of them, stuff like that. and then things like referring to herself as her father's "crossdressing son." i'm sure all of this is very general (every character just about has a twinge of that (it's good, though)), but it also feels easy to make it particular, or, there's a particularity to her that reaches me, and others, showing people around the evil places we grew up, or places we've come to see evil in, and the nostalgia for earlier times. in a way, looking at prehevil through her and levi's dialogue, there's something expressed about seeing a place you hated get worse, fall further into reaction and 'tradition' which seeks to snuff out all difference, for the two of them it can be / will be fatal, especially at that point, a material situation built on creating more desperation.

the other thing, is learning that rher's traces are simply being manipulated by the sulfur cultists is crazy, as is the rather poetic fact that the moon is only reflecting the sun, making it feel very crazy and obvious. so i suppose this make's rher's dimension the sulfur god's, meaning the production present, the strange factory putting...i'm not sure, you find lots of food, it seems like it's an extension of the god of fear and hunger maybe? as if he is some kind of god of labor? the flesh monstrosities stitches makes being a hyper-efficient and tortured labor force for one particular thing? very weird. it's also crazy that le'garde is the kaiser... and then logic, being olivia's sister, karin died in the fight with her... which was sad but then we won, i felt a huge weight off my shoulders, that twist is almost too much, the two reunited but in some... end of eva goo world where everybody is one...that kind of vision always makes me so sad, not that i think miro likes it, but that this is the "happiest" ending possible for the others... but i suppose as well... this could be a force which is genuinely kinder to people? it seems possible. it also seems possible to be, and it seems explicit in its ties to the fascist kaiser populist army, or co-option by them, that it could also, by the fact that desires and wishes of each shape the world inside the simulation, the wish granting, it would only turn to some sort of echo chamber (from the start it's an obvious analog to the internet, i wonder where miro will take it).

i'm just kind of devastated to have beaten it... these games now mean a lot to me, so suddenly. it feels really good to have new favorites, in games. with books, not to devalue their meaning to me as they always mean so much, but that is the thing, they always mean so much (i also always need to read more (i am stupidd...)), and music, i just love a lot of it, and spend a lot of time with it, movies... it's rare with movies too i suppose, but games idk, they are special to me, i grew up with them, books, music... and out of the three there, they are honestly rather...not good a lot of the time. stupid, aimlessly violent, whatever... halo is fun but what does it mean to me, the time i spent, it feels like, wasted youth almost. this didn't feel like a waste of time, i guess when games make you feel pain, like actual pain, like, i wish i were dreaming pain, and panic, it forms a connection in your body, they are extremely about embodiment, good arcade games are always like that, home gaming, it seems as if it's been harder for people to get there. but horror games, and games like this especially, they bridge that gap to the body, the speak to it by making your heart race, and then, speak to your heart with the characters, and then suddenly, your body feels its particular sorrow for a dead friend, as if a real body has lost life and fallen near you. it's not even 1/10th of real loss, but, maybe 1/100th? i'm not sure. i'm very emotional, and i care too much about very stupid things, i will get to something related to that in a bit, from today. but god, i dunno, the way it works, its movement, it is special for that alone. and then... the art... the characters, the fact that the lore is less lore and more a bunch of odd poetic associations between images and miserable sensations, failures of knowledge, in fact, that's something interesting the game's lore about gods contradicts and fights itself, the skin bibles vs. that donovan guy's book, who says enki is effete, the fact that miro weaves in this reactionary perspective into the production of some knowledge, it points to something much more interesting happening in the text, or via the text something we can recognize appears.

so, uhm, i made my phone lock screen this:

i found it on...pinterest...so... you know... hard to know who made it... oh i just found it, luo qiangwei, idk where their links are at... but i like how she looks a little alien in this one. the long neck is cute. anyway, i dunno... i'm just dumb and feel like she is #way #relatable but that's not a great way to look at things, i feel some shame about it i guess, because maybe it's obvious or something, i dunno, that's dumb, i just feel it. she's like sad and strange, i am also sad and strange, that's what people seem to say, or one kid years ago said i'm weird, and most people say i'm kind of sad.

i also made a drawing today, because i was so sleepy i napped, which is now proving to be stupid, since it's 1:35 am right now (whoa... 13:35, like that one puzzle (my mind is ppsycho). i kept having this vision as i was in and out of sleep, it was this:

i don't know what to make of it, the penis woman, or the prawn baby. the entire vision was continuously, the penis woman reaching toward the baby, the other woman scared, watching, it was only ever getting nearer and nearer to happening, the sense was that it was some terrible inevitable ritual, but it was so distant from me, and the woman seeing, she was trying to protect the baby at the start but eventually seemed to stop, i dunno. clearly part of this is too many video games... but also i'm ddisturbed anyways. i always like hands that look like that, drawing things of that nature, it's cuz i liked vatiel's hands, the creature from sh3.

i should go to bed now,

so,

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[skinni-girls-eat-books]

Monday, August 12th, 2024!

7:07am: I think the magnesium is giving me so much gas idk what to do. Or it was hummus but I'm pretty sure it wasn't. It's August but it's FL I wish it would hurry up and get cool outside :/ I want fallllll but it normally doesn't really kick in till daylight savings time

7:41am: 192.6..... ok so I guess that pizza weight is just gonna stay on forever, got it 🥴

I haven't really started setting calorie goals yet just because I've been wanting to track my patterns but I think I will start soon. Ok wow I looked at my diet the week and it actually sucked 😂 my biggest downfalls:

1. People buying/bringing me food.

2. Free food/ coupons.

3. Getting takeout in general. (I'm still using takeout as a treat for myself and it sucks)

4. Not prepping literally anything at home.

5. Also just eating one giant (1000 cal) meal a day which I want to stop doing. (Aka that heartburn last night 🥴)

The fact that I ate a whole pizza + snacks on Saturday vs last night when I only ate some cheese and hummus and got extremely full shows that takeout is just hollow food, you can eat so many calories and not even be full nearly as fast as say eating a bag of cucumbers/ carrots + some type of fat/ protein. It's so obvious once you start tracking your diet.

I really think just switching my default foods and getting rid of these bad habits will honestly eliminate the need for calorie restriction bc how tf do you eat 1000 cal of cucumbers ykwim?? That's like 70 baby cucumbers 😂

9:55am: Damn the sleep you get when you are supposed to awake and going things is 🔥🔥 past two hours of sleep cured my exhaustion from last week lol.

11:19am: Had the second half of a cheese block (480 cal) and probiotic soda (45 cal) it's honestly too much. Cheese will be the death of me. +Multivitamin

3:30pm: hummus + cucumber (360 cal)

10:29pm: tempeh 400 cal, 15g fiber, 45g protein, 25% DV of iron freaking yum. I was so craving McDonald's little cheeseburgers but I BEAT THE CRAVINGS now look at me :)

Ok after tasting it and realizing it really is sodium free lol and I used no salt in the seasoning 😂 kinda refreshing :) y'all know I'm a salty mf, might add some cfa sauce to these though :)

HELLO ok these mfs taste like french fries BUT if fries had fiber and protein and iron 😍 ok now I know what to do with these 😂 ketchup>>> CFA sauce

Ketchup and Tempeh !!! Also the butter fried batch was so much better than the olive oil, both are ok, but the butter compliments it very well. I mean it's literally soy so it makes sense, it's already kinda fatty.

Ok so ketchup or pickles or something vinegary, butter fried and slightly thicker slices actually taste good. I might use the bigger pan next time and throw the whole tempeh slab in together, cook with seasoned butter, and slice after cooking. Something kinda bright and vinegary would go very well with it like pickled veggies or kimchi, compliment the fermented flavor and add crunch

Ok I saw recipes for tempeh sloppy joes and Reubens so literally the stinkier/ more fermented (sauerkraut and Swiss cheese hello?) the better. This is gonna be so good, I'm glad I added this to my repertoire :)

[mangodestroyer]

I hope the doctor takes me seriously about getting checked for gallstones.

Not that it seems to be much of a problem yet. It's just that I have the family history and seem to have some of the symptoms. Despite still being pretty young and never having been pregnant (which seems to cause gallbladders to go bad for some AFAB individuals).

I just hate getting so nauseous and having mild cramps just cause I ate a shit diet for a bit. And yes, I know that's normal to an extent. But I'm less resilient to binges these days. And even if I'm doing fine, the thought of eating something like a fish fry just makes me so irrationally ill because the aversion to super greasy foods is strong. No joke, my reaction to a discussion over fish fry prompted someone to ask if I have a bad gallbladder (someone who had theirs taken out).

Sometimes, all I ever want to do is drink a fuck ton of water or only eat vegetables. Idk, the idea of having gallstones has also made me feel "dirty." Like, I just need to flush my system out. Maybe I'm just traumatized from seeing how much my mother suffers because she nearly died from an attack and the removal was botched (doctors misdiagnosed her and messed with her in a way that caused bile to go places it shouldn't/took too long to figure out they needed to remove the damn thing). She had a pretty bad attack in her early 20's and had hers removed in her early 30's. So I'm doing a bit better comparatively since I haven't yet (yet) had an attack that sent me to the ER (mid-20's). But we share similar struggles.

Oh, and the drop in blood pressure I sometimes get. Because my body is actually too good at getting rid of cholesterol from my blood stream. And yes, I've done some research and having this health problem can lead to a longer lifespan on average (that does show in the family history). The trade off is a higher tendency for stones. But also, needing to eat enough so that I don't pass out. So I have to be careful not to over or under eat.

And again, it does suck because it's not the kind of thing doctors seem to acknowledge or take seriously. Not with young people. And no, they've never taken my low blood pressure seriously either. Not even if I pass out right in front of them in the waiting room. Actually, I remember being conscious enough to hear the receptionist laugh about it and ask if I was just playing around. I mean, yes. Maybe it was a little weird to witness me take a random right turn into a dark, empty room after being instructed to walk down the hallway (after they were informed that I was light-headed and had collapsed earlier). It was weird for me too. A part of me knew I was going the wrong way, but I couldn't stop. I was also sort of confused and thought I was going forward/kept trying to, but ended up going right no matter what. It took me being physically directed to start going forward. Until I had to sit down after a few more steps because I became too dizzy and my vision went black. And I am still baffled that the receptionist just laughed about it and thought I was just sitting on the dirty ass floor (in a freaking hospital of all places) for the hell of it. Not an, "Are they okay?" or anything. Just immediately jumped to a very strange/horrible conclusion (I totally believe the studies about hospital staff scoring higher for n*rcissistic and anti-s*cial tendencies). Until my brother reiterated what was going on, ofc. Then the c*nt took it a little more seriously (probably a dumb m*le-centered woman or something) and let me sit in a wheel chair for a bit. Since it was settling into people's heads a little more that I was struggling to do basic tasks at that moment because I was unwell. I say a little bit because they still sort of acted like I was playing and smirked when I was still out of it. I should also mention that, before this visit, I had a visit to the ER for a CONFIRMED non-epileptic seizure. Again, caused by a huge drop in blood pressure. It's not like there hadn't been readings or anything. And there were tests run after the fact and everything? And it's in my medical records because it still gets brought up during regular check ups?

They didn't take it seriously either when they got a reading that is in the stroke zone (yes, you can get a stroke from low blood pressure). Apparently, it's just "normal" for women to randomly collapse and I just need to "eat more and stay hydrated." So at least I was upgraded to being a silly women who forgot to eat that day (but I did)? Rather than just being some stupid child messing around for attention?

I'm just glad that more people are talking about not having weird health problems taken seriously. Especially women. Again, not that this is the worst thing in the world (and as I mentioned before, it has benefits too). But yeah, many of us have probably had some invalidating experiences. Outside of a hospital setting, I've just had some people in general act like me feeling sick or feeling light-headed was just be messing around/trying to get out of shit/looking for attention. It's led me to gaslight myself about health problems.

And also, I sometimes want to check medical records to see if there's just something negative about me on there. You never know. It only takes one medical professional in a bad mood to ruin it for you and leave a nasty note. It sounds crazy, but it took my mother working in medical billing to wake me up to that sketchiness. And also becoming more educated on misogyny. Looking back, I've started having much worse experiences with doctors after getting a couple p*lvic exams at 16 (maybe I was paranoid but I just wasn't sure about something and I was suddenly having awful periods for about a year, which is very unusual for me). You see, I was a teen who obviously still didn't know my own body well, and it's not normal to be in a bright ass, uncomfortable room with a random stranger shoving a cold piece of metal into you. I just remember that shit being extremely painful. So much that I ended up screaming. And then being shamed for not being able to handle it because "it's not supposed to be painful and I can control myself and just relax/should just know how to relax down there." I mean, the nurse seemed pretty fucking pissed off with me right then and there. And since then, that's just been the default with medical professionals whenever I got to appointments (and it's pretty much caused me to put shit off because I'm fed up with them).

I do sometimes wonder if some discomfort over a freaking p*lvic exam was enough to get me a BPD diagnosis or something. If so, no one told me that's on my record/informed me about "having" that condition (quotes because it's way over diagnosed in AFAB individuals and might as well just be modern day hysteria). And I don't understand why that warrants such a stigmatized diagnosis either. I mean, I would have been too young to receive a diagnosis like that because PDs are not something you're supposed to diagnose minors with. Also, that was a nurse, not a psychologist/psychiatrist. And she only interacted with me for... ten minutes? But for some reason, she had the authority to just do that within that time frame? Well, even if it isn't BPD, it could also just be in my record that I'm a "difficult" patient or whatever. And idk how you find that out or get rid of that association.

Long rant. Ig I'm just a little nervous because I have tons of overdue medical procedures I need to get done. And as someone who was once very good at the doctor's/dentist as a child (would literally get praised for how well I took vaccines/and having a fucking tooth pulled at 6), I now fucking hate going to the doctor's. Even if they aren't being dismissive and shit over medical problems, it never seems to fail to be a place full of other judgements as well. I mean, one example off the top of my head is when a dentist asked me what I was doing in college, and then got snarky as hell over my answer (math, at the time, which is now just going to be a minor). Who is hiring these people? Why are so many of them too socially inept to have a normal ass conversation/not show extreme judgment? Why are there so many people like this interested in the medical field? You know how most people respond to what I'm doing in college? Either "okay, cool." or "Wow, STEM! You'll probably find lots of high paying jobs." or "Gross! I could never do college level math!" Honestly, I kick myself for just being defensive about it and snarking back, "I don't know." When she asked, "Well, what can you do with that!!!??" (as if it was the most appalling, fucked up thing ever that someone would choose to major in math), I should have said, "Idk, study calculus?" Probably would have flown over her head.

But in all seriousness, math is not a bad major. Lots of careers that can easily pay 100K if you specialize in something involving lots of coding or applied math. Finishing up calc III and will soon be making a move into studying data science. For health informatics. How ironic because it turns out I have always had an interest in health. But have been deterred from clinical work. I hear it's way more chill in health informatics tho and I already have some of the skills for it with the math background.

But yeah, pure math would be much more tricky to find work for. Sure.

[lewisthot]

Balcony

summary: you meet lewis at a party sitting outside on a balcony and next thing you know you’re letting him have his way with you or so he thinks... rating: 18+  words: 1.5k  characters: lewis hamilton x fem!reader a/n: I've never written fanfic in my life but i was feeling very inspired and wrote this in a day so it’s probs full of mistakes and there's no real smut cos idk how to write smut but maybe i’ll try cos i feel like this wouldn make a good series?? let me know what you think, hope you like it!

you were at a party you had no clue whose, you were just here because your friend had managed to snag an invite. you needed a break from the masses so you go out on the balcony for some fresh air and a possible smoke, you don’t realise lewis is already out there, you’re caught off guard. you watch f1 and were a fan of theirs and also found him to be very nice to look at, without thinking you offer him the lone cigarette in your hand, you’d quit and wanted to get rid of the temptation but he politely declines and makes a small quip.

"I don’t smoke cancer sticks." you roll your eyes and tell him "I’ve quit, this was just a moment of weakness. sometimes I just need something in my hands and mouth." he smirks as his mind immediately goes to the gutter, "I can think of better options…" you roll your eyes walking over to him, you're not normally this bold but you had a little liquid courage coursing through your body.

"oh really, enlighten me." you want to straddle him and like he can read your mind he put his hand out and pulls you down towards him. he grabs your face and kisses you passionately only pulling away to make a small quip "Is that not better?" you roll your eyes kissing him back hard and start grinding against him wiping that cocky smile from his mouth. 

you feel him hard against you and he feels your pussy throbbing against him, one hand snakes down your body grabbing your breasts as the delicate straps of your slip dress slip down your shoulders your breasts exposed, the other hand clutches a fistful of your hair as he pulls you back slightly and starts to kiss down along your neck and chest, taking your breast in his mouth sucking on your nipples, you cry out in pleasure glad there's a party downstairs.

you can feel your pussy has soaked through your undies, a fleeting thought crosses your mind, are you leaving a wet patch on lewis’s trousers? he interrupts your train of thought by pulling you back in for a ferocious kiss, your breasts are exposed and the cold air after having lewis mouth on them have your nipples rock hard and sensitive. his free hands grab your breast before pinching your nipple and rolling them between his fingers, which makes you moan even harder against his mouth. You drag your own hands down his chest and between your bodies trying to undo his trousers but before you could, you hear someone calling out your name. you freak out and pull away fixing your dress and hair, you know that’s your best friend and you know it was way too late. it was time to leave and before lewis has a chance to process what is happening you were already gone.

- weeks later -

you’re at another party much of the same people as the last, you’re hoping to run into a certain somebody but you wonder will he even remember me, he is one of the most famous f1 drivers who was always spotted leaving clubs with gorgeous models you decided to push him out of your mind and have fun, you need to let off some steam and soon enough you were dancing on a table. what you didn’t realise was lewis watching you, the way your hips moved was hypnotic but what he didn’t like was the man you were dancing with. he sees your friend get down and you jump into his arms straddling him and being spun around, you’re having the time of your life and all he could think of was how much he wishes you were in his arm bouncing up and down his dick. you jump off your friend still having no clue lewis is here and has seen your little performance, you decide to go get some fresh air and walk upstairs to the balcony.

you’re leaning against the railing taking in the city when you hear someone clear their throat behind you, you turn around and see lewis leaning against the balcony entrance

"hi" you're surprised to see him again, maybe it was fate.

"That was quite a show you put on earlier, that your boyfriend?" you let out a surprised laugh, you detected a hint of jealousy so you decide you wanted to tease him a little.

"why? you jealous?"

"why would I be jealous?"

"true, I guess you could have anyone you want so why would you care if I was single or not?...so why did you follow me up here?’ he didn't know what to say a little caught off guard he changed the subject.

“You know I don’t think I caught your name the first time we met...” you laughed realising you’d let his tongue down your throat without even exchanging pleasantries.

“It’s y/n.” you noticed how he changed the subject but you didn't need an actual answer, even if a man like him could have any women he wanted that didn't mean you were going to so carelessly throw yourself at him. if he wanted you he was gonna have to work for it.

“Nice to meet you, y/n. I’m Lewis.”

"nice to meet you Lewis.” you knew he was but you decided to play it cool, turning back around you look out to the night sky. “doesn't the city look so pretty at night just lit up by street lights?" he saunters over coming up behind you and boxing you in. 

"you’re right the city does look pretty but not as pretty as you" 

you’re glad you have your back against him so he can’t see the devious smirk you have, you have him right where you wanted him. you decide to stick your ass out ever so slightly and press into his crotch, he groans biting his lips as he looks down at you, he wanted nothing more than to rip off her dress and have his way with her but instead, he grabs your hips and leans in 

"so tell me why did you run off last time? was it your boyfriend calling after you?"

"you’re really stuck on this boyfriend thing huh? just admit you're jealous and I’ll answer your question." 

you smirk as you continue to gyrate your hips against his crotch feeling him get hard "I think if he was your boyfriend he must not do a very good job satisfying you since you're here acting like a desperate slut." you turn around and look him straight in the eyes, "I think you followed me up here like a little bitch desperate for another chance at fucking me." he was taken aback by words but he liked you weren't making things easy.

you were never one to submit to a man so easily, you liked the power play so you grab his crotch and squeeze. "look who's already rock hard for me." you smirk as you lightly trace your hands up your thighs teasingly pulling up your dress stopping before you exposed yourself 

"admit you were jealous seeing another man's hands all over my body"

he rolls his eyes, he was always the dominant one he was not used to this but he liked it a lot." fine I was jealous, you happy now?" you chuckle "yes but don’t worry he’s gay and just my best friend" he groans as he realises you’ve been messing with him, he grabs a fistful of your hair and kisses you hard, his other hand squeezing your breast and then making its way down your body and grabbing your ass, his hand exploring your body he couldn’t get enough he finally had you. he was now kissing along your neck, pulling on the strap of your dress as he planted kisses along your collarbones about to strip you down and have his way with you on the balcony but fate intervened once more, your phone goes off. you pulled away and he groans.

"don't answer that"

"it could be important" 

you check and it's a text from your bestie asking where you’ve disappeared, he was leaving. you shoot him back a quick text to leave without you but you decided to mess with lewis one more time, you look up at him with a disappointed face "I’m sorry but I have to go, it's my bedtime" he groans, why was fate being so cruel.

"what do I have to do to convince you a night with me is worth a sleepless night?" 

you chuckle, trying to hide your smirk as you decided to tease a little more. 

"you know I’m not really a one night stand girl they always seem more hassle than they're worth. I don't even know if you even have what it takes to make a woman cum." 

he immediately drops down to his knee, his hands running up your legs pulling your lacy undies down, throwing your leg over his shoulder. "I’ll make you regret questioning me" you bite your lips at his words and then he dives in sucking on your clit, you moan gripping the railing as he goes to town excited at the thought of what was to come...

part 2 

[haleigh-sloth]

Hawks freaking out lmaooo the man was totally not expecting that, "KILL HIM!!" was the first the came up at his mind, he's processing everything guys, calm down, let the man think for a moment lol

Anyway, I'm happy Twice's back, but I feel something's off, Idk how but...yea... thoughts?

It gave me the same energy as when I see a cockroach and I’m like “KILL IT KILL IT NOW“ lol. Like, the energy of “god no I don’t want to be anywhere near this get rid of it”.

Except in Hawks’s case, it’s “oh shit I killed him and it was pointless and I don’t know how to deal with this so I’m just going to do what I did the first time!”

I mean for fucks sake lmao. But!

Did we expect anything else? I think this is a wonderful starting point. And the set up is fantastic. Now only Twice, but Touya too, who watched him kill Twice and burned him for it. And Endeavor, who Hawks wants to support. But what does that look like when it’s Endeavor’s kid who is for all intents and purposes, crying for his dad? And what does that look like when the guy he considers a friend, admires as a person, and stabbed in the back, is there to distract him from helping Enji? Idk. Shits about to get crazy.

Idk if it seems off, but we don’t know everything we need to at the moment. So maybe that’s why.

Here’re my thoughts on this:

I’m excited. Because it needs to happen. And I am 0% worried about this heading in a positive direction. I’m not concerned at all that it won’t.

I am hoping Twice will be used to save people in the end. And that’s still what I think will happen. If this is the story of how everyone became heroes, then Twice is included. And I think, looking back, that’s the reasoning behind the title, and the overall meaning of chapter 341:

The minus is Twice, because he isn’t there, but he is. If that makes sense. He isn’t there, but he still gets to be a hero in the end alongside his friends (who I think will be heroes in their own efforts too).

Something I’m relieved about—it seems like it’s Twice, with his personality and everything. Not Toga posing as Twice. I base this off of knowing that when Twice makes clones of other people, they have the personality of who they’re modeled after (looking back at MVA). So my thinking is Toga turned into him and made a clone, and that clone being Twice, made more.

The reason I’m relieved—I have always hated the Toga gets revenge theories. Hated them. I understood where they’re coming from, and I still can’t write it off as impossible even now. But I hate them. Because it doesn’t work for her character and it makes little sense seeing as how she has not once interacted with or even posed a thought toward Hawks. Not once.

Not only that, but what’s better: Twice, with his personality and everything facing Hawks? Or Toga? What do people think is more impactful on Hawks? It surely wouldn’t be Toga posing as Twice. The illusion is gone. But with it being his clone? It’s him. Nobody has to maintain character to play it off. And Hawks is justifiably freaked out.

And with that, Toga can stay with her fight. Because she needs to. We haven’t seen it at all, and I feel there is a reason for that. Toga has always felt like the game changer to me because of how open she is about wanting to change. Or rather, wanting someone to help her change. She voices it. She shows it. She looks for it. She chases after it.

I hope it’s not her, and currently I don’t think it is. So I’m good with that. Because I want to see her fight and see what it looks like when a villain is given what they want and need.

Sucks we have a break next week, but I know that Jump Festa is coming up and I’m excited for that color page, as well as the popularity poll results. Which means colored drawings! I’ve found that breaks usually come with some sort of special artwork following them. So I don’t complain too much lol.

[team-heavenly]

Chapter 10

ayo the pizza here

I guess Dusknoir is a pizza now 😜

I definitely could not keep this to one part unfortunately because there’s a lot going on plot-wise. Click here for Part 2!

It sure is! We’re back from the expedition, rested up, and now we’re as fresh as spring chickens, with no Team Water Meanies in sight. Boy, I sure hope that’s the end of Things Happening for a while-

...Crud.

Clefable is stumped, Andrea argues with Mewtwo over the sentry’s expertise, and then:

Oh you have GOT to be kidding me.

(I’m never gonna get over the character’s saying the wrong name at first btw.)

It’s ACTUALLY GULPIN!!!

Okay no wait a second, I’m legitimately upset about this 😭

A Tragedy in Two Parts:

*Sighs* It was etched into the stars the moment I clicked “Generate.” No use crying over it now.

It’s one thing to lie. It’s another to lie convincingly.

“Didn’t learn a thing about anything” well we learned there’s a forest. And it’s foggy. And that sucks.

He’s going to stay where?

Also I’m sure this will have absolutely no bad consequences at all :)

Well. At least the duplicate Gulpin makes shots like this hilarious. He’s right there!! 🤣

Oh but speaking of Nautical Cottage! The rest of our shops are finally open!

A prehistoric trilobite will take care of any eggs we’re awarded. I haven’t received any yet, but I will post about it if and when I get my first!

Gastly will open our treasure boxes! Kind of fitting for it to be a Ghost, actually.

I actually had a growing pile of treasure boxes, so this was very welcome. Just for funsies, here’s the before and after:

Not a bad haul at all! Also laughing because I have like three Icy Flutes at this point.

I brought my exclusive items to Dodrio, curious to see if there was anything worth bartering for, and-

HELLO?!

I’ve never made a trade so fast in my life! Also idk why Togepi is replaced with Geodude here sdhfgdfdfsjd

Then I went to the cafe real quick to consume my Gummis and-

The abrasive Sneasel is replaced with a freaking Pichu.

On to the jobs. I’m not sure how exactly, but this description finally made the oddities of the Kecleon shop click into place for me. Why could I get a Wonder Gummi for free? Why could I pilfer some Rare Fossils and not get aggro’d for it? Why am I able to just pick up this Golden Mask and walk away?

Because these items aren’t normally offered in shops. I just assumed the “Thief!” script applied to every item taken from a shop without paying. And it does, normally. But it doesn’t cover items not meant for sale! Because why bother?

Hehe, that just means more goodies for me 😈

(This was a few days later but LOL... Buddy, I got some News for you.)

Andrea wanted to learn Helping Hand and I went “Eh, why not? Could be useful sometime.” So I exchanged it for Iron Defense, which hasn’t been super useful so far.

Later that day:

Smh, y’all need to get a life. Just take the L and go.

Sure *hands a shovel* start digging.

Aw, hey little guys! Haven’t seen you in a while.

Just a reminder: these fellas were looking for an item they lost when Drowzee Sandshrew took advantage of them.

Yay!

...Not yay.

I was browsing through my TM’s and noticed I had Octazooka. Line-of-sight range, water-type STAB, decent PP. Quick Attack seemed like a fair trade.

Pro tip: Don’t do this. I ended up regretting it (you’ll see why later). What I should have done was get rid of Helping Hand. Honestly, I’m probably going to the move reminder the moment the opportunity presents itself.

In other news, we’ve been killing it in the rare items department:

I guess these items are worthless since everything is randomized but... hey, it’s a cool keepsake!

Later that night, Tropius delivers the harrowing blow:

Agh. Heart attack narrowly avoided.

o7 Yessir

Oh, I can.

(I also love that the transition here is “I wonder how Bonsly is doing?” / “They told! They told, dammit! F*ck those guys.”)

Actually, if you think about it, he’s known about the Time Gear for negative time. Since the future he comes from hasn’t happened yet? Wibbly wobbly timey whimey stuff.

Team Heavenly has visitors! But they’re not here for a social call...

Hysterical Hospice. Amp Plains... is known as Hysterical Hospice.

Uh, yeah, I’d say so! Like the “Chaw-haw-haw!” at the end wasn’t a dead giveaway.

Kakuna goes on about how the dungeon is filled with electric types and he’s no match for them. First, if that’s the case, then a water/flying duo is screwed lol. Second, I think that’s the least of your problems, buddy. Believe me, I’ve had cocoon Pokémon teammates before, and they don’t even move! It’s a real mood killer.

With that in mind, we naturally answer the call. 

Before we left, a Gummi drink gave me a new IQ Skill: Brick-Tough! This is a very welcome addition. As you can see, now Teresa’s and Andrea’s HP is nearly the same!

Alright, the image limit is fast approaching, so read on in part 2!

[sam-blackbird]

Since I saw Stranger Things season 4 yesterday, I’ll talk about it. SPOILERS AHEAD!

It’s more questions than theories but it works as well I suppose.

So, I had the intuition that the blond nice looking guy was One since almost the beginning of when we saw him, but I didn’t planed that he was an absolute douchbag and Vecna, and that would be him who killed the children (btw big up to the person who theorized on Youtube under the 8 minutes extract that Eleven was fighting the thing that killed the children when Brenner came into the room (which explain why she was turn towards the wall where it is a dark after-portal thing)). Also, I didn’t understood that the last yelling we had heard at the beginning where from Eleven because in my head, when people yell, they are still alive. (does that mean that if we saw it, « Papa » Brenner saw it too? On his screens yk)

Anyway, this seven episodes let me with way too more questions (and remarks), and since I don’t like to wait, I’m sharing them with you so we can discuss about it!

I put them in the order they came into my mind.

Will Suzie (and / or her sister, yk the one that Argyle seems to be in love with) comes to help to get Eleven/Jane out of here? How would the rescue team rescue her out of that bunker in the middle of nowhere, Nevada? Will Eleven/Jane came out at the same moment?

How will Joyce, Hopper and Cie came out of Russia and came in the USA? (i’m sure they will panic when they come back and see the house + no children) (+ how does the freaking Demogorgon arrived in Russia?)

(+ Have they considered stop playing DnD since it seems to suck like the Demogorgon’s and Vecna’s name came from it and seems to appear after they play (even if they find later that it’s not related) (btw those hypocrites made me wanted to punch my screen : the boys didn’t care at all about Will’s willing to pay DnD (like at all, and it was very painful to watch, I wanted to play with him and I’m not even joking!) and then, when they Hellfire match happen to occurred the same evening at Lucas’ match, then it’s a problem?! I know Eddie was very convincing but even! It made me furious.)(also, I liked the fact that Erica plays DnD, showing it's not only a boy's game)

How come Nancy affected when she didn’t had visions? And how will they made her out of her? Will they succeed?

It remind me that there is a thing with the promotional posters : they all look toward the camera (and the watcher) except Mike, Jonathan, Joyce and Max. Why them? Are they chosen ones? It could be because of their importance in this season? Mike is the main character (?) and have a (strong ?) relationship with Eleven/Jane; Jonathan have a relationship with Nancy (idk we don’t saw him that much for now); Joyce have a relationship with Hopper (and even go to Russia to save him); and Max was Vecna’s cible. It’s implied that Vecna’s cible were psychologically weak (?) : Chrissi had the impression that she was too big and wanted to be thinner, the guy with glasses feel guilty for the death of those people, the black guy idk (yep I’m very bad at remember some names, sorry), and Max literally saw her brother died in front of he (btw here again, the Hawking’s boys are little douchbag, like they don’t get that Max isn’t good and well since what happened with her brother?! Like what’s wrong with those boys???) Also, with Billy’s grave, we learn that his birthday was on Marc, 29, which is near the time when the season began (since the last day of school was on March, 21) and it’s sad.

Would it be something with the fact that in the Upside Down (that I’ll call the UpD) the time is staggered? Like is it some weird wibbly woobly timey wimey stuff or… ? ’coz it’s weird, isn’t it? In the UpD, it’s the same time that in season 1, or at least the UpD is modeled on the season 1!Hawkins.

Will they finally get rid of those freaking things from the UpD?! Like once for all?! I mean… Dudes, it’s been years now, it’ll be time to end, no? To end it and grow old together. I know it seems impossible, since Vecna’s open up news portals and that the show come back, again and again, and I know that the show is great and all, but now, I’ve got the feeling that it’s always the same stuff… I like it but it’s like ordering one kind of pizza every time : it could taste different, but at the end, it’s always the same pizza, isn’t it? (not literally the same, but you understand, right?) (I only hope that no one die in the process) (how people still love living in Hawkins after all those weird stuff that happened here?!)

Will Eddie finally be declared guilty or not?

Will Robin asks out Vickie? Will Vickie say yes?

…

[lee-scribbles-and-doodles]

S3 Ep1

Haha, I'm in danger

Oooh, the menu screen already has an edgy feel to it wtf

I KNOW this is the season with the angst IDK if I'm ready tbh

Opening narration?

This is so ominous

White Gorilla?

Haha his name sounds like skunkape

Pfft, the boys like him even though he's a tool

There's a cathouse in their prison

The narrator has a very punchable face

Girl Stinky!

Oh? We can play as Max?

Wow, OK, so they just go straight into Max having powers

Wait, is Stinky dating Skunkape?

Not gonna lie, this tutorial is a bit tedious

Harry!

Ew, he's nearly nakey

Aw, Sam hugged Max to teleport

Max is a little too excited to be a bazooka

"Say hello to my little buddy!"

Oh thank God the tutorial is over

This narrator is super fucking pretentious and I want him to shut up

Sam patting Max's head in the opening is cute 🥺

It kind of ruins the surprise factor to have shown us so many of the toys so early tbh

Wait, why can Sam see Max's visions

Skunkape is full of bs

Omg what does this narrator have with actually starting at the beginning 😒

The Commissioner just called to check in I guess

Sam just treats Max developing powers casually

"Toys... toys... we must prepare the toys!" "That's just a typical Friday night for you, Sam!" 👀

"We could just give ourselves tongue baths, like cat and flight attendants do." "Well, OK I guess."

Seriously, how does someone walk away from these games an not realize these two are love interests

I accidentally went into the spaceship early

Oh hey, moleman death.

Also the brain is dead and we need to revive him

Superball!

Sam immediately pulling out his gun when Skunkape gets creepy with Max 🥰

"Does the general want a banana?"

Ok let's go back to the spaceship

Not sure if I like the future vision. I'm not the best at these puzzel type games but I'm worried it'll make it too easy.

Also what does skunkape want with the molemen?

C.O.P.S. are freeloaders now

They don't like Skunkape because he brought advanced technology to earth

Bluster Blaster went to Vegas with Bosco

The demons in the Desoto aren't so bad as long as we "don't turn on the ac."

"Why do we have jumper cables, neither of us know how to use them." "It's simple, Sam! The red cable clamps to the left nipple and the black cable--" "Neither of us know how to use them legally, Max."

Let's got to Stinky's!

Flint Paper us here!

Oooh, it looks different.

"Where do you keep all that change?" "In my sock, of course." "You're naked, where do you keep your sock?" "That's... none of your damn buisness."

"But your the only hairy, overweight, domineering control freak I need, Sam." "Gee thanks, Max. ...I think."

Let's talk to... Flint 😍

He just wants to focus on his spaghetti which, y'know, fair

Whoops, I made Sam try to sneak into the kitchen

Pfft ge immediately Blairs Max when he gets caught

Girl Stinky still refusing to call the boys by their names

Ok so the fry cook is missing and she's most likely lying about the power core

Of course we can't just take the demon broth

I missed Grandpa Stinky 👴

Wait, wouldn't Girl Stinky be his daughter, not his granddaughter?

Stinky knows about the space gorillas???

Time to go in the sewers!

Blah, Sybil and Abe are still together 😓

Let's visit Mama Bosco

Ooooh, Sam's scared of Mama Bosco's house

I just realized Sam and Max were the ones to cause her death (it was an accident but still)

Mama Bosco is trying

Sam & Max blipped out existence for a moment 😮

Max is refusing to go through the moleman tunnel

"I miss touching things." "Yeah, touching is my third favorite thing to do to things." *Sam and Mama give him weirded out looks* "In case anyone was curious, the second is licking."

Mama Bosco, honey, Skunkape is clearly evil

Mama basically confirming Max is going to explode. Is that where the angst comes in

Sam deliberately hitting the traffic cone made me laugh

Ok, I think I know what to do

Got the broth

Aw, Girl set herself and Gramps up for relationship councilsing.

Why the heck isn't Girl Stinky's cellphone number showing up!?

Omg I forgot to give Flint the helmet I'm so stupid that's why it didn't show up

Wait is Flint married to someone named Doris?

Flint though Stinky and Sam were in, ugh, "cahoots"

Oh, Doris is his allergy specialist

Ok, I got the battery

Yay, the brain is awake!

Oh, he almost rated us out to Skunkape by accident

Max has "the gift"

Max wants to pee on Skunkape

Superball!!!

"I'm president of the United States, why didn't I hear about it?" "It's explained in books, sir." "Oh, right."

Max holding Superball's hand 😭

Oh, wait can we go in the mole room

It's a giant toaster?

Ew all the mole juice is on the floor

Sam immediately goes to hug Sam for the teleport

"ENJOYING THE RIDE SAM!?"

"Note to self, when traveling through Max's brain, keep your eyes shut!"

I tried traveling to Sybil, it didn't work 😢

Oh, Girl Stinky's cellphone!

Oh, Grandpa Stinky has the badge

He gave all that money to Skunkape???

He's in skunkape's army now... great

Poor Max can't reach Stinky to kill him

Oh wait, I think I know what to do.

Haha suck it Gramps

Aw, Skunkape doesn't appreciate him 😢

Let's go back to Mama Bosco

Oooh, Shiny pidgeon

"It's an engagement ring." "Sam, this is so sudden! I-I don't know what to say!" "Quiet, bonehead!"

Can... Can I use the ring on Max?

I can!

The fact that Sam seriously considers proposing to Max right there has me like 🥺💕

At least they're married in the cartoon 💍

I'm just going to play that cutscene again

The doorgorilla won't let us in let's teleport

Ok then! We got thrown out

Let's use the crimetron

Aw, they named the thingy bobber from the sewer Carol

Oooh Pizza

The pigeon actually ate the phone

"Pick up that phone, Max." "I'm not touching it!" "*sighs*"

Oh cool, I like pawn shops

Sam, honey the fact that you could pick up a manhole cover at all is impressive. Those things can weigh anywhere between 70-300 lbs.

New headcanon that Sam has super strength, he's just oblivious to it

Haha, and I thought the space ape was going to slip on the peel

Oh wait, I think I just figured out how to get rid of the space apes at Momma Boscos

Hahaha gorilla fall on other gorilla

Ew, naked mole man

Max looking adoringly at the toy store

Oh, so this is the part they get kidnapped

Ew, the narrator is back 😕

"You'd be surprised just how many fetishes there are that involve Sam and me."

Oh, so Girl Stinky and Skunkape aren't dating

Skunkape sent her a dick pic?!?!?

Oh wow, he really turned it around on us, huh.

How did they not notice the bomb on Max's back until now

Sam smacked Max and now he's just.... hovering in the air

Well, that was easy to get out of

Mama Bosco saved us sort of

Queen 👑

Oh Momma, you crazy inventor

Oh, so we're turning their building into an alternate dimension

"You keep coming up with creepy disaster scenarios that always end with you eating me. It's getting annoying." "If you don't like it then stop looking so damned tasty."

Molemam cultists

The boys' first instinct upon seeing a creepy box is to pull a pandora

Max pointing and laughing as Skunkape gets sucked away is everything

Ew Narrator is back again

Skeleton Sam and Max????

[soyeahitsmiddleearth]

(Gen Start-Up) Not Worth It pt. 1

{Reader gets sent from our world to middle earth and falls in love with either Fili/Kili/Thoron or heck maybe all three, I'll leave that up to you, and upon coming to middle earth they get the healing powers. All they gotta do is put their hands on the person and concentrate. BUT these healing abilities have a cost if the injury is severe. Maybe they either transfer the injury to themselves until it evens out between the two? Or it takes a lot of energy from them and if they use it too much they will die. Then Reader tries to heal Thorin/Kili/Fili at the end." --- Britishfajita}

Fluff and Slight Angst

Authors Note: This is the beginning of a wonderful three (or maybe more) part connected series! Same reader for all three of the Durin's who I plan to make this for. There may be multiple parts for them, idk yet. We'll just see what happens :D!

The Durins/Reader

----

You could have been so extraordinary in your past life.

Special, wanted, powerful.

And, to some extent, you were wanted and desired, but you could never deliver on those expectations and hopes.

Your special ability to heal, ease pain, and help others was never anything special where you lived. Many people had healing abilities similar to and better than yours, and most, if none, had the drawbacks that yours did.

Where normal healers can use their powerful auras to mend and strengthen others to accelerate the healing process, yours is much more of a give and take, parasitic relationship between 'doctor' and patient. Instead of your aura enhancing the healing ability of others, it instead participates in a transfer that can leave you wounded yourself.

You retain your ability to heal and, essentially, switch auras in a wound transferral. You do not always inherit the wounds of those you heal, however.

Depending on the severity of an injury, you may be left winded, tired, or extremely hungry, but in more serious instances, the damages completely transfer to you instead.

The best way to exemplify this would be to explain how you found out about this horrible symbiotic relationship in the first place.

Your parents knew you were a healer from a young age, for there are individuals who test all children in schools to determine what classes they will need to hone their abilities, and they figured out your ameliorative nature rather easily.

The fatigue and pain you sometimes felt during training and classes was just chalked up to your control and aura being weaker, for your parasitic power was something very uncommon at the time.

It happened during your first ever shift at the local hospital.

Up to this point you've only ever dealt with smaller wounds because of your easy fatigue and exhaustion, but this day was different.

A disaster struck a nearby bank that left 40 people, and counting, injured, and it was all hands on deck. Every person on staff had somethings to do, and when a young woman with debris sticking out of her abdomen came rolling in, you were the only one free to help at the time.

You took up the assignment without hesitation, but as soon as you began to heal her, something felt different.

There was no weakness at first, something very alien to you, and you were able to heal her in record time for even one of the most skilled (and normal) healers, only, you eventually realized that something wasn't right.

The pain you felt that day was horrible and unimaginable, and you went down in a matter of moments.

It wasn't until 5 minutes later that someone found you unconscious on the ground, pale and barely breathing. If it weren't for your current location, you certainly would've died that day.

That young woman had been saved and, somehow, her power had been enhanced as well after your treatment, but it left your aura damaged and practically sucking the life out of you following her miraculous recovery.

The whole premise of your power is the nature of give and take. You give a piece of your aura to someone else to heal and enhance them (be it their power, strength, wakefulness, or anything else), and in return you take a part of theirs and become weakened depending on how much you give, needing to rest and regenerate what you gave away in that moment. You can also heal yourself of your own, personally received wounds without incident, which is rather strange.

For most, there is a finite amount of their aura that they can ever have throughout the duration of their lives, but your supply is nearly endless. However, the more you spend healing or helping, the more you lose. You can regenerate your aura forever, but if you keep going without ceasing, then your life will eventually begin to drain too, to compensate for your loss.

It isn't an instant process, though, for it takes time for your body to catch up to how much of your power you spend, so you had to train really hard from that moment on to ensure that you never spend more than you've earned.

If it weren't for this fateful vice of yours, you'd probably be one of the most powerful healers in your world; the only limit to the wounds you may heal is your own aura and life force, and the amount of time it takes all depends on your concentration and intent.

Because of this, you became unwanted.

Unwanted in a sense that, people did want you to help them become stronger, but no organization or job wanted to hire such a liability, and those with such horrible vices are always subject to horrible criticism and scrutiny, so you eventually just stopped using your ability altogether.

It isn't until you fall into Middle Earth that you start to habitually use your powers again, and it's because of the life-threatening journey you're forced to join.

Here in Middle Earth, however, you're one of a kind.

There is healing magic and those gifted with the knowledge of higher level healing, but your ability to heal simply using your hands and mind is something totally unheard of.

The Company of Thorin Oakenshield were the poor unfortunate souls that you scared half to death on the day you arrived in Middle Earth.

You came, quite literally, out of nowhere.

One second you were washing the dishes in your house and the next you were unconscious in another world.

From their perspective you came falling out of a tall tree, nothing to break your fall other than the cold, unforgiving dirt below, and it successfully gave everyone a huge scare.

Your right arm seemed to have broken and you were horribly battered and bruised, and the dwarfs, hobbit, and lone wizard couldn't just leave you there.

They made camp for the night and made you as comfortable as possible, hoping above all else that you'll wake up at some point, and you eventually do. Though, it isn't a nice or very calm occurrence.

When you finally woke up to a new hat and 4 thick wool blankets smothering you, you freaked out.

At first, you thought someone had kidnapped you or something, but the calm, old wizard named 'Gandalf' managed to calm you and explain that you're not healthy enough to be thrashing and panicking so frantically.

That's when you shocked them all.

You managed to kick off those pesky blankets and shake off that too-warm, but also soft hat, and get a look at yourself, and you were dismayed to see so much of your skin marred with bruises, cuts, scrapes, welts, etc, and your broken arm was unsightly enough to make you nearly sick.

"I-I'll fix it then, I guess." You grumbled nervously, laying back down in the heaping pile of blankets to focus on mending your broken and shattered bones, re-weaving your muscles together, and accelerating the healing of the more superficial wounds.

By the time you were nearly completely healed you were too tired to finish fixing the cuts, scrapes, and other lacerations, so they were left as week-old injuries that had been scabbed over and mostly fixed.

When your eyes fluttered open again you were, once again, shocked to see multiple people leaning over you with awestruck expressions, and you realized in that moment that things were even less right than you initially feared.

Rather quickly did you realize and accept that you were no longer in the same place or time as you were before, but the news was actually fairly easy to accept because of the nature of your past life.

You were probably accidentally sent here by someone with power over the space-time continuum, and it's impossible to come back from one of those accidents. You didn't trouble yourself with coming up with a way to go back home, because you knew for a fact that it was over. You'll be here until the day you die.

You made fast friends with the two younger Durin brothers, for they were always full of questions and curiosity for you and your abilities. Many times have you had to heal them as well, for they're quite prone to trouble.

Small things were always easy to heal, so your powers proved to make you not only a very desired part of the group, but the subject of heavy praise and kind words; it's wonderful and new, for you were neither wanted nor praised in your old home once your crippling vice made itself present.

Night after night you helped them to sleep, gave them the strength to carry on, rid them of discomforts and small, painful wounds, and, essentially, made the original healer of the group, Oin, obsolete (in a good way for him, of course). Oin taught you some things about natural medicine and was, ultimately, allowed to focus on rest and fighting (which you assume is good for a dwarf of his age).

Being needed and relied on feels like heaven, and for the first time in 5 years, you have a purpose.

The true nature of your healing powers didn't become apparent to them until the fight following the Goblin Tunnels, for Thorin Oakenshield is nearly fatally wounded in his fight against Azog the Defiler, and he's left weak and dying.

The group runs as fast as their feet can carry them as those wargs and nasty orcs draw near, chasing all of you to a cliffside with plentiful trees and nowhere to go.

It's a dead end, and those foul creatures know as much.

You aren't much of a fighter so Bofur and Fili keep you ahead of them, urging you to climb the far tree with Gandalf and some of the others, and you do so without hesitation.

Fear drives your frantic climbing and trembling muscles, and, with great effort, you manage to climb far enough that those horrible dog beasts cannot reach you.

Everyone manages to climb a tree and avoid a violent death that would leave them in pieces, and you're relieved to see that there isn't much the enemy can do in this moment; that is, until they begin to uproot the trees and push everyone further back into the barely hanging on tree you already reside in.

There is absolutely no way this flimsy tree will hold all of you for long if the wargs loosen the soil around the roots, and it seems that you're not the only one to notice this.

Gandalf prepares the perfect pinecone ammo that serves as an excellent enemy deterrent, for the flames burning within the heart of the pinecones spread easily and set the cliffside alight.

The wargs retreat to escape a fiery death, but the triumph doesn't last long, for the tree begins to creak and groan as it dips beneath the weight of all 15 of you.

"T-The tree's going to fall!" You cry hopelessly, unsure what to do.

A fall from this height would kill everyone before you even had a chance to try and heal them, and this knowledge leaves an empty, useless hole in your heart.

"Everything will work out the way it's supposed to, Master Healer." The grey wizard tells you, though you can hear the unease and slight panic in his voice as well.

You open your mouth to say more, but movement catches in your peripherals and you turn your head to see what it is.

There stands Thorin Oakenshield on the thick trunk of the tree, facing the white orc with murder and hate shining in his blue-gray eyes, and your heart drops all the way down to the violent deaths below you when you realize what it is he plans to do.

The to-be King Under the Mountain abandons the tree and meets the orc in a battle, albeit short, and he loses.

Just by looking at the way that albino dog uses him like a chew toy is enough to fill you with dread, and when another orc goes in for the dying blow, you're fully prepared to experience this horrible tragedy, only it never happens.

That brave little hobbit, Bilbo, challenges the rest of the goblins one on one, and his bravery encourages everyone able to get back up and fight.

Only, this secondary fight doesn't last for terribly long, for these huge, magnificent birds come soaring out of seemingly nowhere, and they scoop up each and every one of you.

Cue a short, but also liberating, journey to the nearest, safe area (which just so happened to be a secluded and inaccessible mountain top).

As soon as your feet touch the ground you're being scooped up into a strong pair of arms, and the perpetrator breathes your name with relief on their lips.

"Are you alright?" It's Kili, the taller of the two Durin brothers.

You nod your head once and hug him in response, winding your toned healer arms tightly around his shoulders for a few beats before you pull away.

A quick glance around shows you that some of the others still have yet to touchdown on the peak with all of you, so you instead move to Fili, who had rode to his brother, and hug him next.

The blond heir firmly locks his thick arms around your middle and holds you to him for a moment, but his arms disappear as soon as Thorin is gently dropped to the ground, bloodied and broken.

Gandalf rushes over to the heavily wounded dwarf and kneels down next to his unmoving form, and Bilbo runs up behind him with wide, stunned eyes.

You pull away from Fili and rush to Thorin's side without hesitation, falling to your knees beside him as you immediately hover your palms over his body to find the biggest issues ailing him.

The internal bleeding catches your attention right away, caused by the bone crushing bite from the white warg, and you start working on healing that without hesitation.

You know that a wound such as this will hurt you, but it doesn't halt your frantic healing for even a second.

The mountain peak is dead silent while you work your magic on the unconscious Thorin, the knowledge that they would be lost without him spurring you on, and in a matter of 5 minutes he's groaning and his eyes are opening.

You feel nothing at first which tells you that soon his damaged aura will begin affecting you, so you slowly rise to your feet and move away from the still grounded Thorin to avoid falling on him if you do go down.

Pats on the back and praises are thrown your way as you separate yourself from the king, but they cease the moment Fili worriedly asks, "Wait- What... what's wrong?" He seemed to have noticed your shaky movements right away as your health begins to deplete.

You step up to Gandalf and place your hand gently onto his shoulder, mumbling with slurred words, "Gandalf, I should've told you before..."

The old man looks up at you with worried eyes, and he rises to his feet so he can grasp your trembling arms with gentle hands, "You should have 'told me before'? Told me what?"

"I..." You begin to speak, but you're unable to form another coherent thought as your legs suddenly give out from beneath you, and you slump forward into the cloaked wizard.

Gandalf releases your arm at light speed and catches you around the waist, slowly lowering you down to the ground before your eyes slide shut and your consciousness fades in place of Thorin's.

---

Gandalf the Gray was not too happy with you when you woke up sometime later, having had to save you after you saved Thorin with no prior knowledge regarding the truth about your ability.

He scolded you first, calling your actions foolish and scaring you with information on how you could have died had it been any worse and had he been any worse at his job, and then he thanked you.

"But even so, still must I say with the utmost gratitude; thank you. The service you provided was well beyond what we asked for, and much more than we deserved. After all you've been through and done for us, you would have been right to keep to yourself and not heal him. You are a very good person, Y/N, and I should like to see you survive this journey."

Is he telling you not to heal people anymore, or is he telling you to be more careful, you wonder.

Apparently this situation scared everyone shitless, because as soon as Gandalf was done getting on your case, you received countless apologies for having you heal small, meaningless wounds and for the other things you've done for them.

Of course, you tried to explain that the smaller boosts and injuries are nothing for you, but you were still apologized to a whole bunch anyways.

Fili and Kili's apologies stuck out to you the most, however.

When everyone felt better knowing that they'd informed you that you no longer need to waste your power healing them and the excitement died down, the two brothers approached with sad expressions darkening their handsome faces.

"You should have told us that we were hurting you." The dark-haired dwarf informed you sadly, taking up one of your hands in his carefully.

"We wouldn't have bothered you so much if we knew." The blond-haired brother agrees, swiping up your other hand in one of his.

Their words make you grimace, and you try to console them. "No, the smaller things don't hurt at all! I don't 'get hurt' because I heal you, I only suffer when it's a major wound that needs to heal more than just the body."

Their expressions don't change and they don't seem to fully believe you, so you try to explain in simpler terms.

You squeeze both their hands weakly, still needing rest to regenerate your own aura, then reiterate, "Think of it this way. You've got a huge jug of water about this big," you make a big circle with your arms, " and it's completely full. Now, if you take a sip of the water when you get a little thirsty and look inside again, it will look the exact same, and you can refill it super quickly... now, if you and a few others are super thirsty, dehydrated, and you need to take big drinks then it drains even more, and very soon it's almost a quarter empty. It takes longer to fill it up then, because there's way less because of how thirsty you were."

They both look at you and nod their heads slowly in understanding, but you simplify it a little more after that.

"So, what I'm trying to say is that if I do something small like help you sleep or heal a cut, maybe mend a headache, I'll only feel a little tired if that, but if it's something horrible like Thorin's wound, then it affects me more severely. It almost transfers to me, but not the physical injury, just the effect of it while my 'power' heals yours."

Everyone is listening at this point, and it seems that they all gain a better understanding of what you can do.

It seems Gandalf figured it out, though, judging by his unsurprised expression and slightly proud smile (pride because of your easy to understand explanation, most likely).

"So... what about now, then?" Kili asks, still holding your hand by your side, "What do you need?"

"To rest. Only for a little while until my water replenishes."

---

It's going to take around a day for your aura to heal and your strength to return, but, unfortunately, you don't have the luxury to just lay back and relax like you want.

You all had to stay on the move, so the dwarfs took turns carrying you on their backs.

At first you denied any and all requests for piggy back rides, embarrassed by the mere thought of being hauled around all day while you wait for your aura to heal, but it goes that way regardless.

First it's Fili and Kili, then Dori (the strongest *according to the book*), Dwalin, and, finally, Thorin.

Thorin carried you for around an hour or so, and each step he took was careful. He wanted to make your ride as comfortable as possible, and he was succeeding for the most part (you're as comfortable as someone on a piggyback ride can be).

"How are you feeling?" You ask at some point, adjusting your gentle grip around his shoulders as you do.

"I should be the one asking you that question." He replies without missing a beat, turning his head to the left slightly to catch a glimpse of you.

You don't say anything right away, looking at him with a small frown before countering, "Okay, but I asked your first."

"Truthfully, it shames me to say that I feel very good at the moment. My strength has returned tenfold, and I feel as if I've just recovered from a long rest."

"It shames you?" You ask softly, leaning your head against his carefully, "Don't let it. I chose to do that knowing fully well what I was getting myself into."

Thorin sighs heavily and shifts his grip on your legs, "I do not wish to treat you as a child. I respect your choice, but I must implore that you do not waste your life on me. It simply isn't worth it. You're too precious."

You feel your face heat up and you find that you become slightly embarrassed. "Thank you Thorin, but I think that a king is slightly more important then a commoner from another world."

"No... a king is only as strong as his people, friends, and allies. And I happen to value you as all three."

You don't argue or disagree this time and instead just nod your head once, "Then I'll say thank you again."

The rest of your conversations with Thorin are much more light hearted and wholesome, and you find that this piggyback riding isn't as bad as you initially though it would be.