#which felt like forever ago????
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crystallizsch · 8 months ago
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eepy eepy
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petrichara · 1 year ago
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It is December 14th
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nat1nonsense · 6 months ago
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I wrote this long before Ashton and Fearne became A Thing, pinky promise!!
This old fic of mine has been getting a lot more attention lately, which is odd considering I posted it a year and a half ago, but I’m not gonna complain!! I’m still very proud of this one honestly, it’s by no means perfect and there are plenty of things I would change if I had written this more recently, but even still, for a 6.6k word, almost entirely fluff, fanfic? It does it’s job well, and I’m proud of it
Anyway. I’m reposting it again because it’s been getting a lot more attention. If it continues to get more and more attention, maybe I’ll start writing and posting again <3
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suddencolds · 11 months ago
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#not snz and not a vent... just passive musing#had a dream two nights ago where someone who i used to know (and love a little) wished me goodbye with a#kiss to the hand before i flew away from them forever on a magic chair#which is very stud//io g//hi//bli-esque and frankly very unserious but#the feeling of grief i felt saying goodbye to a friendship which i had once held so close to me - and which i know can probably never#be as close as it was at that point in my life - stuck with me for a long time even after i woke up#it's been something i've been thinking about for awhile... but the dream felt like such a concrete and painful severance#i think that like a childish part of me wants to hold the people i'm close to at#the same distance and trust that they will stay there forever#but logically i know it's natural that the people i met under certain circumstances might drift apart once those circumstances change#for one or both of us... i guess friendship really is just a lucky convergence at one point in time where everything aligns#like i know this and i have known this for awhile but god does it hurt#especially those kinds of goodbyes that feel so gradual... not like a clear severing of ties but just a gradual disappearance#i think i probably have to not feel so hung up over what i used to have. and for the most part i am not; life goes on#but for those people?#i sometimes just miss them#there's a special kind of hurt knowing that i could reach out to them and say hello and that they would probably respond but that it might#never be quite the same again
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monsterbisexual · 1 year ago
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if i call in sick to work i shld tell them im having symptoms of emotional turmoil, physical agony n excessive bleedinfg so im gonna stay home bye
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cuteniaarts · 10 months ago
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Fanny, my sweet, beautiful girl
17.11.2012 – 14.04.2019
#my art#artists on tumblr#I cannot accept that it has been 5 years already#I know covid messed with everyone’s sense of time but it simultaneously feels so much longer and so much shorter than that#exactly five years ago I was holding onto my mom for dear life and sobbing as we watched lilo and stitch together#not the best movie to watch when you’ve just lost your first ever pet you know#and then I cried myself to sleep at the next morning we never mentioned her again#I know it’s because it was way too painful for everyone involved. but I do wish I was allowed to process that grief properly#instead of bottling it up and pretending everything was okay until I was reminded of her#feeling like my heart was being shattered over and over again every single time#well anyway. enough of that. I’ve allowed myself a nice long cry today and got most of it out of my system#and once I was feeling okay I decided to draw her#and I can count the number of times I’ve drawn animals on one hand so.. I’m not too sure about the result#but it felt like to commemorate her in some way.#so yeah. here she is. my dear girl. the best dog in existence. she was always so affectionate and kind#which I didn’t always appreciate bc of how young I was. when you’re a kid it feels like pets will live forever#never barked. never bit anyone. her only crime was chewing on my mlp and lps toys that I left out on the floor#but I’m grateful she did that. it taught me not to leave my toys lying around and to clean up after myself#she really was taken from me way too soon. ideally she could still be alive right now. but I’ve been down the road of guilt and regret#there was nothing I could do. I was a child. I can only hope that she knew she was loved right until the very end#even if I didn’t know how to show it properly. and great. now I’m tearing up again#I suppose it’s unavoidable. April 12th will always be a melancholy day. and maybe that’s not such a bad thing#it’s good to have a day when I can freely remember her and cry if I need to. it’s healthy. it’s better than crying every day#she never liked it much when I cried. always tried to comfort me. that’s the kind of dog she was. I miss her so much#when I move apartments and get a dog of my own I’m getting a spaniel. just like she was#well. maybe a different colour so I don’t end up sobbing every time I look at it. but spaniels really are the perfect breed#I mean. cavaliers especially were bred for love and warmth. that’s just what I need. it will be nice to have someone waiting for me at home#and while I don’t necessarily believe in the afterlife… I do hope that Fanny’s watching over me#spiritually comforting me when I feel all alone in the world. it’s a nice thought for sure#and hopefully she won’t mind me getting another spaniel too much. it will be done in her honour after all. to make up for my past mistakes
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ningningkittie · 10 months ago
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i cant stop thinking abt him... have been doing that all daynd i feel so sad nd my heart hurtsso bad nd i long for him sm it's just a bad day :((
#it's bc i saw that he#uploaded his background which was just nothing. and said that he feels empty#and a couple of months ago before i ruined it all#he said that he had me as his background#so now i feel so fkn sad#i dont know why im like this but i feel so crazy about him i wanna die#i think about him constantly and i'venever ever wanted to be with or know someone this badly#and to know that he sees me as a disappointment... and not good enough for him... and that he doesnt love me enough to wanna fix it#or even have a 'it' with me#hurts so bad#so now im just in an awful headspace...#i hate myself so much#i wish i could go back and not do what i did#i did it bc i thought it'd bring me closer to him#but i was wrong and i didnt understand that until now#and instead it caused him to think im not what he thought i was or what he wants me to be#and no matter how much i try to explain i realize thatonly i understand#bcmy brains broken and no one could ever understand why i do what i do#i am alone. always and forever i will never know closeness or intimacy#the thing is thatbefore i met him i was fine w that#i kinda longed for it but i had resigned myself to a life without it#then i met him nd it felt real nd like it could bereal for me#plus i genuinely like him sm i feel sm for him so i desperately want it w him#but then..... it turned out that im not good enough for him#it just rlly hurts that the ONLY time i've ever wanted someone#and it started w them wanting me back#who i am was a disappointment nd i fucked it up bc of a misunderstanding#that i cant clear up bc i cant make anyone understand my fucked up broken reasoning#i will bealone forever and i just wanna die
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npdlangley · 10 months ago
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mfw. theres no actual point to my existence
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cinnonym · 2 years ago
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Hi there :) A year has passed (or close enough) so: how are the feelings about "This Is How You Lose The Time War" now? ;-)
My brother (genderneutral), you'll be so glad to hear I literally just bought the book a week ago because I need to devour it whole
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peridots-pixiwolf · 2 years ago
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yknow I play a lot of hard games but usually not "took 73 days to beat" hard
#aka gUESS WHO JUST BEAT RAIN WORLD. AFTER TWO AND A HALF MONTHS#rain world#peridots-nonsense#i got into subterranean like a week ago but have been mostly hanging around by the worm grass shelter for 20 cycles#i went to every region (even if i only spent a couple minutes total in drainage lol). met every echo besides the farm arrays one.#got every passage achievement (every one besides dragon slayer/wanderer in outskirts and industrial within my first few weeks of playing)#and never used a passage anyway. three months!!! rounding up a little! for a game that can be beat in less than 20 cycles.#dh was twelve days (though i'd played through part of it years earlier). stray was seven hours. insc was only a couple days.#i've done two separate ultkill playthroughs so not sure which to count but both were less than a week#hk was actually just over a month. may 24 to june 26th. which is still so much less than this. bftes about a month too#i remember how even just a week into rw i felt like i'd been playing it forever...even just a week in i knew it would be one of Those Games#where i wish i could play it over for the first time again. boy was i right. it almost felt like a second life at times#i loved just running around in certain areas building up stores of food and spears and vulture masks#(what comes to mind are / HI_S02 / CC_S05 / SI_S04 / SB_S07. the first two felt like home!)#(* up in the sixth tag i missed the friend. i was relishing in hubristic bloodlust especially in CC so i didn't have much time for taming)#if the tags here seem particularly incoherent i only falsely apologize. i'm just. reminiscing. i don't think i can do anything else#my heart was pounding as soon as i reached the depths. after 325 cycles. 116 hours. two and a half months. it's over.#maybe a little dramatic but hey it took up an invariable portion of my life for a fifth of a year so. it's just interesting#anyway. a standard ''i took too long on this and now the sun's rising'' goodbye to you tag-wanderer
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furys-burn · 2 years ago
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Just some hcs re her og games
Johanna's name is called and her world goes white. A peacekeeper has to pull her onstage and I personally see Jo's "image" as her plain dissociating through the entire process. It never really stopped. She was 3 months from being 18.
Aspen Ridley, who at 16 was already working with the best of their district's lumberjacks, is called next and he goes for the opposite. He aims for brawn but years later Johanna will just see a veneer of it over terror. They never get along and she never quite mourns him. It is very complicated.
The idea of playing meek came to her when she heard Aspen telling Blight he wanted to work alone. It made everything more "real" and that she was alone. Why not use it to her advantages?
The interview with Caesar was bad. She barely speaks louder than a mumble and when Caesar tries to prod her about her family she clams up and ends up walking off stage.
Aspen goes to court careers, she keeps to herself, and their fates seem sealed when he gets a 9 and she a 2 after faking being incapable of throwing an axe. They cheer to Aspen and Johanna goes up to her room. The two tributes never speak again.
The Cornucopia was infamous because there was barely any supplies besides weapons. It ended up being one of the goriest bloodbaths in the game's history as people picked up on something was up.
Aesthetic was a large redwood forest with massive trees. Quickly people learned the twist as the forest itself was rotted with the water having a metallic taste and the few animals weak and starving. Any food taken from them not worth whatever was lost hunting them. Once whatever came from the cornucopia was gone that was it.
Johanna's first kill was a D6 male who she bumped into a few days into the competition while looking for food and water. It was a very her or him moment and well, it was her. She took his supplies and realized then what they expected them to do.
Next a D4 boy who fell asleep under her tree one night. His scream alerted Careers to her and she barely got away with her life and only a 1/3 of hid things. Aspen promised to hunt her and kill her but himself is killed after failing to do so...Johanna was only a few feet away. He did track her down. She stole his axe.
Next is a girl from 11 ; she's getting better. She starts to trail the Careers staying to the trees picking off what she could.
Blight sends her nothing as he realizes that if she wants to play this stealthy then he can't risk a supply drop giving her away...not to mention removing her desperation to survive that is making her kill.
End game a crater splits the arena and forces her and the girl from 2 to confront each other. It is a brutal and quickly turns into a hand to hand deseprate fight to survive. She breaks one of Johanna's ribs and Johanna manages to end it with a rock.
For it, they wrap her in leather and rebrand her; Johanna Mason, Victor.
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yeommijeong · 2 years ago
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i love call it love i miss having a kdrama that we're all experiencing together 🥹
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max-fewtrell · 2 years ago
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theweeviler · 12 days ago
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#art#magical antithesis is usually a chemical weapon against werebeasts#mixed with something to dissolve skin its very deadly to them#city rats have thicker skin#sort of#but it can also be injected#where in city rats it causes paralysis distorted perception of time impaired magical respiration and death#after which it erodes the soul into nothing#so there is no vengeful ghost to stop the perpetrator from doing it again#lately it has fallen out of fashion#mostly because it keeps getting stolen#its actually suffocation that kills them#city rat burrows dont have enough oxygen to survive without it#aboveground shed have just gone into a coma forever. city rats get really cold as a kind of immune response#and their metabolism slows down#it can get very extreme. it usually doesnt but it can#this immune response can only be created with magic. its common in older city rats because they have more#halfmint wasnt old enough for it to be able to fully halt the movement of blood. which would have saved her#magic is mostly in the blood for them#she knew this because she was apprenticing under a doctor#well sort off. they have a different healthcare system#her burrow specifically had an even weirder one because like 80 years ago their doctors overthrew the government#and instituted their own#which i wont say was worse or better#but it sure as fuck wasnt good#if it hadnt all gone wrong halfmint wouldve ended up with a lot of political power#the halven burrow is one of the most powerful. its kind of isolationist#but its actually doing the best out of all of them during her time#it wouldnt have changed her. she wouldve used it selfishly from the start#shed have probably mostly just gone along with the way things were going though. minus the murder. she wouldnt have felt as guilty about it
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memories-break-our-fall · 1 month ago
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hey I don’t like being a smart gifted kid anymore. can I please be normal I’d much prefer that
#vents#I felt a lot more strongly about this like an hour ago but I sat around and watched hockey and played sudoku with my dad for a bit now I’m#Better 👍 still need to write this down though#anyways. I do not want to go to special classes. it’s not like I’m not being challenged by my regular ones?? Like they see my grades#it’s not like I’m acing every test.#This would also mean choosing classes to go towards university. that means choosing what I want to do when I’m older now#Which I don’t want to do#I want to be normal like my friends please#I want to be able to live my teenage years and not have to worry about all this#cause this would mean meticulously planning everything around a future career#and if I end up not liking it I would definitely feel too guilty about wasting years of my life and my parents money that got me there#I would go through with that career I hate because 1. I would not let myself change 2. My parents would not let me change#I just wish I could live my life as a fucking kid please#I don’t want to go my whole life never having a sleepover cause I went straight from being super sheltered to too academically focused#Shit I’m crying now#I’m also super indecisive and I DONT KNOW what I want to do. Law seems cool but that’s mostly because of my ace attorney obsession#I would also never personally want to be a real life lawyer. Too much pressure and also paperwork#Why can’t I just be a teenage weirdgirl assistant best friend forever. I’d love that as a career#anyways to brainstorm stuff. Something science could be one but really the only field that fascinates me is space and idk what I’d do there#I’m never being a doctor I don’t care how hard my parents push I’m not doing it ever#anyways I do genuinely think my parents think this is what’s best for me. And they could be right#But right now I hate it I hate it so much#I’ve never even implied I WANT to do this. At least my friend is doing this of her own accord. for me this is all my parents#Augh I wish I could be a normal teenager!! Please!!#I literally went to watch a movie alone with my friend for the first time last week and that’s only cause we didnt tell my mom we were alon#(She wasn’t really mad which I’m super thankful for)#Augh#I guess I am no longer ok#Time to push this to the depths of my mind and not think about it ever again (impossible I will think about it like every day because the#The thought is unavoidable)
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reiyaus · 1 month ago
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gender neutral intended
”of all the men in this world, you really had to choose this one?”
yaga grumbles, scratching his head as you kneeled sheepishly on the classroom floor. your fingers nervously tapped on the flesh of your thighs, mentally cursing satoru- who sat parallel to you- and glaring at him through your peripheral.
just minutes ago- your fingers were tangled in his hair (which you now want to rip off), your lips danced in sync with his (the very lips you wish to sew tight forever) as his toned arms caged you between him and the wall.
only minutes ago did you feel like the most accomplished person on earth. now, all you felt was humiliation; your own teacher catching you in the middle of your stupid act.
sneaking out of training to make out with satoru gojo in the school closet.
while yaga continued on with his rant, pacing around the classroom and cursing out whoever, satoru pokes the side of your leg. his head is turned towards you, allowing you to see the boyish smirk on his face.
the very face that got you in this mess. that dumb, obnoxious, sexy face.
“my dorm later?” he mouths, raising his brows in suggestiveness. you scoff, lightly slapping his thigh.
“have you no shame?” you whisper, feeling irked while he chuckled.
“in what world would i be ashamed to be with you?” satoru grins sappily, pinching the side of your thigh. you held back a yelp and instinctively slap his arm.
yaga hasn’t noticed yet, fortunately, his back was still turned to you.
“no! satoru, there’s absolutely no way im going out with you after this!” you whisper-yelled. you were lying, of course. no way you would leave someone as irritating, yet perfect, for someone else to snatch.
he pouts, looking back forward and heaving a dramatic sigh. “offer’s still up though. hah, i wonder how he’ll react when he finds out about the other times we-“
“what other times?”
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