#which ended up dying :(
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Harrow got so unbelievablely horny dreaming about Gideon's rolled up sleeves exposing her lean, taut muscle, a little dewy with sweat and steam but you know what.... thinking about it. Gideon does not disrobe basically ever, except in private to bathe. A tantalizing glimpse of forearm may legitimately be the most Harrow's imagination has to work with
#it takes a while for Gideon to be comfortable even removing her cloak at Canaan House#and that was a much warmer enviorment than the Ninth#kind of interesting that Gideon's seen Harrow naked and there's no evidence Harrow even knows what Gideon's shoulders look like#and how that corresponds to their different levels of emotional vulnerability#harrow laid it all out on the table: all her trauma her devotion her motivations and at the end her admiration for Gideon#meanwhile Gideon says she wants one thing then directly contradicts herself woth her actions#she flashed her heart once - you know I only care about you right? - before rolling her sleeves up and dying#this isn't a criticism of Gideon#their environment has provided a lot more security and support for Harrow#which is saying something#I also suspect she Gideon naturally has the emotional self-awareness of a cheeseburger which does not help her out but anyway#just think it's interesting how they've bared such different amounts of themselves to one another#the locked tomb#gideon nav#harrow nonagesimus
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I don't think I ever published these so ig.....
There's a last one but err warning for gore and blood(mostly just ripping an arm off)
#I'm not okay#got so sad I started imagining angst scenarios with myself instead of some characters??#and also ended up writing a short thing of killer dying...#and drew a page of suffering with eyes filling up the empty space...#and cried for 2 nights straight which is a lot compared to how it took me 6 years to start crying again#anyways simply. I just want to cry again-#anyways idk how but I got some determination so there might actually be something of this one comic#even though I want to work on other things.. I'm just too tired(sad) for that#sans au#utmv#undertale au#kross ship#criller#kist#killer sans#dust sans#cross sans#horror sans#dust x killer#killer x dust#cross x killer#killer x cross#sanscest#UwU#cw blood#cw gore
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MY FATHER DIED. could not have asked for a better ending for this week
#idk the details yet.. but one thing i know for certain is that i am not getting an invite to the funeral#my last words to him were 'shouldnt you have killed yourself already'#which i said in 2019#tried to kill me once and threatened to kill me uncountable times but ended up dying himself.. embarrassing...#interested to see how the inheritance is gonna go considering he had so many kids w different women#an euro or two for your most beloved shion..?#shion.txt#parent death
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If Solas doesn't have a satisfying ending I'm not even going to post about it. Like ever. I will simply cease to post all dragon age content and we will pivot to like, elder scrolls or Enderal or smthn
(to be clear;this is my worst timeline option)
#i will be furious#but that will be the final straw for me#i want to enjoy it so bad but the. pessimist in me is like#girl. u know they're gonna kill him no matter what the inquisitor and rooks choice to redeem him wont matter#and they'll do some bullshit self sacrifice ending for him.#i hope to god I'm wrong.#my Biggest concern is that they said ''we think we have a satisfying ending to all the varying attitudes towards solas''#which reads to me like: there's 1 ending for him. and they have grossly underestimated their fan base. once again.#bc i do expect like 1; antagonize solas and be hateful nonstop to result in boss battle where rook/inky kills him#or 2; befriend solas and redeem and he ends up self sacrificing or dying in lavellans arms so he's not 'dying alone'#and then im going to have to finally block all the writers on twt and bluesky#please god let me be wrong#i aint here to argue abt this btw. just dreading this potential outcome
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(I screwed up the text placement on the last page, read from professor membrane top left, down to zim bottom left, then dib top right)
Poor Dib lol
Btw i headcanon that zim has an internship at membrane labs when they're in high school. Zim talks to Membrane about Dib and them hanging out (he thinks the boys are dating and just not telling him yet) and the professor is hoping zim's "real science" attitude rubs off on Dib lmao
#invader zim#iz zim#iz dib#zadr#professor membrane#my art#zadp#zadf#I like zim's holograph watch lmao I needed him to be checking the time but I felt like if he wore a normal watch it'd seem like a joke#which yeah it'd be funny#but the holo space watch is cool!#....wait hologram or holograph#as far as prof knows the boys were going to a double feature drive in movie#but they ditched that to go monster hunting in the woods + haunted house they ended up finding#so as far as prof knows they went to a movie and have been somewhere in dib's car this whole time 😳#dib is DYING INSIDE that his father accused him (and zim accidentally confirmed) that they did THAT#English isn't zim's first language is Dib's go to excuse bc while zim is FLUENT he doesn't understand some turns of phrase and such
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*plays strangers by ethel cain on loop*
#NOO tumblr crunched the qualityy.... oh well. click on it#my art#art#ethel cain#digital art#artists on tumblr#digital illustration#anyways i was DYING to draw that one rolling stone mag outtake since. god id say since last year and i never got around to it#partially bc i was scared id do her dirty 😭 well i didnt!! anyways this was actually supposed to be wayyy more stylized#but i got carried away and it ended up being a study ig. which is better bc u cant stylize anything if you dont know it inside out
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I've been watching Hazbin Hotel in prime. Just watched episode 5 and I gotta ask
Why, oh, WHY DON'T I SEE MORE PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT "MORE THAN ANYTHING" WHEN TALKING ABOUT THE HAZBIN HOTEL MUSIC???
Like I get it, the song before it "Hell's Greatest Dad" Is a bop reminiscent of other music from the era its parodying. I loved it.
BUT why are you only putting clips of that song when this MASTERPIECE comes a few minutes after
I honestly don't even know where to begin with this song. The visuals are beautiful, especially when we get moments like this where you can just see the absolute LOVE this man has for her daughter is so sweet and Heartwarming I just-
The voices are fenomenal but what else can you expect from the broadway talents of Erika Henningsen and Jeremy Jordan.
There is also the whole Symbolism with passing the baton to the next generation and stuff. I- I can't even get into the specifics right now Im too emotional.
But above all else THE LYRICS
ESPECIALLY THAT LAST ONE
"I'M GRATEFUL YOU ARE MY DAUGHTER/FATHER MORE THAN ANYTHING"
DO YOU WANT ME TO CRY?? CAUSE I AM. I AM BAWLING MY EYES OUT RIGHT NOW.
It's just so fucking beautiful man. Probably the best song I will hear all year. Obviously my favorite from Hazbin.
#Call me Sir Pentious cause Im crying like a baby over here.#WHY HAVE YOU BEEN HIDING THIS GEM FROM ME. THIS ABSOLUTE DIAMOND#I didnt even mention lyrics like “I've been dying to find out who you are. looks like the apple doesnt fall far.”#“You are a part of who I am” “you are the only thing worth fighting for” that just BREAK ME#but oh well#BTW of course I was gonna watch and become obsessed with Hazbin Hotel. I am a theater kid that loves animation. It was like meant for me#could do with a little less obsenities but thats alright its a staple of the show#On another note I almost went insane when I found out lucifer was Jeremy Jordan.#Like its insane how that man always ends up in my obsessions. Newsies. Tangled the series. The Death Note Musical#(Im team L btw in death note but GOD Jeremy's singing made me reconsider for a milisecond in Where's the justice he is just THAT GOOD)#Erika I knew from the mean girls musical which I also deeply enjoy#its Insane the Talent this show brought in. my theater kid heart is ELATED#Last thing is I gotta say I LOVED Lucifer#Like I thought I was gonna hate him because everyone was talking about charlie's daddy issues#I thought he was gonna be neglectful and manipulative#BUT NO. He is a silly (little) father who just loves his daughter but doesnt know how to show it#And had DREAMS and AMBITION and fate in humanity. And he is just such a fun character to follow I had such a riot with this episode#Hazbin Hotel#charlie morningstar#lucifer morningstar#charlotte morningstar
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it was just going to be a few warmup doodles but then she infected the rest of the page like the ever eternal and spreading spores. hod!!! hod. hod :)
#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#hod#hod lobcorp#lobotomy corp spoilers#I GUESS i almost forgot i drew her box form#lobcorp spoilers#and michelle actually. ..#both very tiny. itty bitty. microscopic#other sephirah there too as normal. i cant have her alone. and Angelina as well on the top patting her#i have a hard time fully capturing her for some reason. in my mind. maybe its because is the disconnected period!!! mentally#she genuinely wishes to care and be kind yet theres a dissonance with what she does..? or how it ends up being taken or what she does to en#up bringing those actions into reality. she can be forceful? wanting to have employees attend therapy sessions and meetings for suppression#tactics. which i think is also something the safety team is incharge of iirc. so that means shes doing way more that what she needs to on#her job as a sephirah. just for the sake of employees#she really does care as shes one of the only to Directly attempt to change their circumstances and quality of life and health#sure chesed doesnt punish employees when they dont do their work assigned or stress them out with work#but he doesnt actively push to attempt to make changes to aid employees besides the research perks which is to the manager#yesod IS right next to her and does also genuinely care but when it comes to employees hes distant at best when it comes to them and the#way he tries to protect them is by enforcing rules but he doesnt really create or attempt to help them like hod does#yesod is sort of a passive? way of doing it. yes he doesn make a push to enforce said rules but he doesnt make new ones. just follows what#is already there in place. hod tries to make new ways and not just for the safety of people like how yesod's has them physically fine and#not letting them over a certain threshold of mental corruption but she tries to have a program to Directly Address such a thing#its born out of care but the genuine worry of being a good person and her naivety ends up having it do more harm than good#sure there may be some employees that actually like and find it useful but so many are just accepting to their fate of Dying to where#her care seems pointless. shes a sephirah and to them a literal metal box why would they go ahead and feel bad for what an 'ai' is feeling#as she is interrupting their free time in the company#which is rude. and shit. iirc the counseling is compulsory but people go because shes a sephirah and their superior. the thought was there#but again it comes off wrong and ends up not working because shes their superior in the end#EEK!!! yeah... hod. the hod. there is WAY more but i can't fit it all here and i already typed enough
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#agatha#agatha all along#can you tell that im so so soooooo bitter about the finale#like i get that some people loved it#good for you#i dont and i'm dying on this hill#yall have every right to be happy about it and talk about how happy you are about it!! but pls keep to your lane#i spent two hours going through the agatha all along tag and there were a handful of people going#the finale wasnt that bad look at the bright side you should be happy about how it ended#bitch. dont tell me how i should enjoy my media#why did she see the darkhold in the cradle and why that reaction?#'is the how nicky died' i dont understand how that prompted her to take such a huge risk#also??? why does rio wanna see agatha die so badly??#and when she did die where was rio? all that build up and fighting without any conclusion to it??#rio just disappeared no conclusion no confrontation not even a word before she kissed Rio and gave her what she wanted which is her death#the build up was really good but the pay off really fell flat and felt rush and agatha ended up feeling like shes sidelined in her own show#even when she had tons of screen time! it just fell flat like agatha deserves better she deserved change and growth and development#she deserved confrontation and facing her feelings not all this continued avoidance and shifting focus onto Billy#she's done too much to have this half assed conclusion to her arc that was built to set up someone elses story like the direction it went#was so gross like every other character had really well written and developed story arcs and conclusions and hers was just???? deflated???#im not even asking for a full on backstory about their relationship bc the show isnt about agatha x rio lmao#them having a happy ending doesnt make narrative sense. what im asking is simply tie up the threads they sewed into the narrative
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I've been chanting this like a spell
#sonic the hedgehog#miles tails prower#the blue one is not here but like. thats the tag i guess iddunno#this is a little old. wait nevermind its from oct28 thats not that old.#i thought i drreew this like. months ago. time is not real. its been a long time and no time at all at the same time#like last week was nov 1 and today its the 30th or it might as well be like!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#WHERE DID THE LAST QUARTER OF THE YEAR GO THIS SHIT SUCKS MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY I'VE BEEN CHANTING THIS IN MY HEAD FOR WEEKS#my head is so empty and i drank coffee without eating so its been hurting for hours. i already ate TWICE#BODY WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM ME>??????#anyway. this weekend i believe? my friend from class wants to play monster hunter world#he's trying to hunt anjanath cause he says its hard and it needs to do#i remember when anjanath was hard........#i tried to fight a fulgar anjanath the other day outside of an assignment though and it ended up leaving locale right when it was dying#i probably took too long cause they keep changing the goddamn controls. a couple days before i went back to world i was on rise#and the glaive controls different there with the wirebugs and shit#and then you get to world and no bug but the big boi on your arm. i love you glaive bug!!!!!!#and then before that i was playing the wilds beta which played oaky to me idk my graphics were shit so if things were floaty#i dont know. it looked like i was playing without my glasses. but the controls were fun.#BUT WHAT IM SAYING IS THAT I RAN THROUGH THREE DIFFERENT CONTROL SCHEMES CAPCOM YOU AS A COMPANY#NEED TO BE ARRESTED THREE DIFFERENT CONTROL SCHEMES. maybe there isa button remap function im missing#if so im still not gonna use it im just gonna suffer
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literally no one was doing it like natsuno yuuki. he was genre savvy but he was also fucking gay so he still died. after his death he started dressing like the google search results for gay vampire. his only friends were his homoerotic bestie, an adult medical professional speed running his descent into madness, and two random kids he dug up his stalker’s grave with. he became a vampire and was immediately better at it than all of the other vampires but he thought they were bitches so he didn’t even tell them he turned. his last words was that he was never going to make it out of that town alive but if anyone could have it was him and that’s what makes him so tragic. he died trying to save someone who was never ever going to save him back. he wasn’t afraid to die because he was already dead. he burned the entire town to the ground mourning his own death and he didn’t do it to save a single goddamn person, he did it because they murdered him and he was going to fucking hurt them back for it. I’m obsessed with him
#natsuno yuuki#shiki anime#god this was such a good horror show#Ozaki was a force of his own but the actual thing that led to the downfall of the Shiki was Yuuki#Yuuki was the one who kept ozaki’s will his own which led to the ultimate reveal of the Shiki to the town#he was the first one to realize that it was vampires out of everyone#he was the one at the heart of every major turning point in the fight against the Shiki#and the sheer grief he has for himself is fascinating#he’s the one who fights the hardest to live initially#he wanted to get out of the town and go back to the city#he’s genre savvy and resilient and he kept trying and trying to find a way out for himself and the people he cared about#that ended up being his downfall#he tried to find a way out for someone already turned and that’s what ended up killing him in the end#but what’s fascinating is that he accepts his own death and that completely shifts his approach#he’s not trying to save his friend anymore#he doesn’t even tell him he was turned#he’s not trying to find a way out anymore either#he accepts himself as dead#he doesn’t want to escape#he doesn’t want to save the town#he wants to revenge himself#his own parents didn’t even fight to save him but he mourns his own death so violently he makes a pyre out of the town for it#Tatsumi asks him why he sided with the humans and he says he didn’t. he just didn’t like the shiki all that much.#he didn’t do it to save the town. he /didnt/ save the town. the town burned to the ground. he did it to revenge himself#he’s not afraid of dying because he’s already dead but he’s jinrou. he’s one of the few vampires who COULD pretend to be normal#he chooses to die fully instead of play at being alive#I’m just so obsessed with him
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dunmesh modern AU headcanons & story threads masterpost (melini-centric)
also projecting my culture as a treat, hence the photos below for reference. names are changed to be appropriate to the setting but i'll just be using their canon names for most of this.
premise / background
set in the philippines, mostly around manila. part family drama teleserye, part urban fantasy monster-of-the-week shenanigans. overall mood is a blend of absurd, light-hearted, and dramatic
the melinis (merinos) are a wealthy but cursed family whose lineage can be traced back to the spanish colonial period. their patriarch, delgal, notoriously relies on the family's engkanto kasambahay/helper, thistle (lirio), to solve most of their problems, mundane or otherwise. thistle has acted as the family's guardian spirit and loyal servant for a couple generations now, but the pressure is starting to wear on him
as delgal approaches the end of his life, thistle fights to keep him alive by any means necessary (mainly via witchcraft)—all while skirting around his strained relationships with the rest of the family, particularly over matters of inheritance and his future
the other melinis aren't as fond of thistle as delgal is, especially in light of his controlling behavior, so there's a painfully real chance he could be disowned at the end of the day. on paper they'd just be dissolving his contract, but on a personal level it goes much deeper than that. things get nasty when delgal considers entrusting the inheritance to thistle instead of eodio or yaad
meanwhile, the touden siblings (ilyas and fina) are scraping to get by in the city after running away from home. laios works at the port and harbors a secret fascination with engkanto while falin is a med student. after crossing paths with the melinis and senshi, the siblings find themselves entangled in the family's personal—and supernatural—affairs
(more character and story headcanons below)
dramatis personae
thistle (lirio) — colloquially known as tinik ("thorn"), the scary little shit has garnered a fearsome reputation in the seedier parts of town, hunting down anting-antings and components at any cost. he's been shaking hands with questionable characters, eliminating rivals, the whole nine yards. 50/50 chance the dark shape emerging from an alleyway is actually him instead of a holdupper (most would prefer the holdupper). he goes through college once a generation and this time is accompanying yaad; they attend the same high-end school in manila's university belt (eyebrows frequently raised since they both look 16ish but it's waved off as them being accelerated students. or a terrific new strain of nepotism). when he isn't practicing dangerous magic or hovering over his family, thistle haunts local comshops and does urban photography
yaad — sheltered good-natured church boy, certified kuya, altar server, etc. he's cursed with perpetual youth (not immortality, just youth) and thistle drags him up mount san cristobal every year to renew the spell. it's an open secret that yaad's "cousin" (tito? yaya? satan?) is an ancient being who's been performing rituals on the family. he finds thistle overbearing yet is the only one who sympathizes with him, understanding how fucked up his position truly is while helpless to do anything about it at present. thistle takes it upon himself to chaperone him when they're out and about. they have a more-or-less functional, if teetering, relationship
eodio — head of the family but barely, because..... thistle. as a child, eodio was sickly and thistle would see to his health, but when his condition worsened, thistle resorted to cursing him in order to save his life. this brought unforeseen complications that come back to bite them both. he and thistle have the most contentious telenovela-esque relationship among the cast, as he resents being dependent on thistle to stay alive—plus the ritual to renew the spell involves eating the most heinous shit. it's all deeply undignified. there was a time delgal promised thistle he'd still be able to look after and love the next generations of his family after he's gone (that is, before his fear of death got the best of him), but the strain in thistle and eodio's relationship soured that possibility
delgal — at death's door, sorry king. delgal isn't cursed with anything beyond glamors to make him appear less sick; cheating death itself has been a long-running project of thistle's, at his request. in spite of having a brotherly relationship with thistle, delgal has never stopped viewing and treating him primarily as a yaya, which was thistle's original role when first brought into the family
laios and falin (ilyas and fina) — originally from a rich family up north, laios fled south to live independently, even if his prospects aren't great. after reuniting with falin in manila, where she's attending college in the same area as the melini boys, they settle in a barangay in calabarzon and hang out in the city. laios is deeply fascinated by the world of engkanto and seeks a way in (and further than that, he wishes to become one, if possible), while falin is seemingly content with her lot in life, even if it's spent in someone else's shadow. time will tell if that changes for her
as for the rest of the party, manong senshi is the merinos' cook. thistle found him scrounging the garden and yaad took pity, so they took him in. he's a gift to the household. izutsumi is a vagrant who likes to sneak into the melinis' garden to nap and pester yaad. they're besties. marcille (maricel) is a researcher secretly dabbling in occult magic, and thistle views her as a rival/threat. chilchak is laios' coworker and a tito. no elaboration needed. tito chil. you know it's true.
story threads
re: immortality, the most viable spell thistle is able to uncover calls for a complex engkanto feast, far beyond his capabilities. if only there were a pack of weirdos somewhere out there who could pull it off…
laios suspects the tyrant of the comshops is an engkanto in disguise and investigates. to get this persistent nuisance off his tail, thistle points him to the side of town that deals in ancient magic in hopes he'll get snatched by a tikbalang or something (who knows, maybe they've broadened their palates beyond innocent maidens lately). when laios gets there, he runs into senshi doing weird esoteric grocery runs and the two strike up a friendship over monster food. a successful project of theirs catches thistle's attention due to the aforementioned spell he's working on and, after much internal deliberation, he outsources that part of the ritual to these weirdos under close supervision
a magical mishap between marcille and thistle causes falin to be transformed into an engkanto. they discover she's able to sniff out other engkanto and has a sense for magic. now knowing such a thing is possible after all, laios continues to pursue his goal of becoming engkanto himself
shenanigans ensue in the process of acquiring + preparing + tweaking recipes for the engkanto feast. though squeamish, marcille counts herself in on this since it's relevant to her own studies, even if thistle remains wary of her. laios and senshi decide the ideal arrangement for the ritual has to be a boodle fight (look at the imagery, it's divine), but that would require the entire melini clan to be willing to feast together on monster cuisine with nothing but their bare hands, which is a tall fucking order. thistle is forced to try to make amends on their terms
the toudens wind up befriending yaad and, by some miracle, thistle. wrt the latter it comes as a shock to everyone because that boy doesn't do friends, strangers are dogshit under his heel, what the hell—but turns out treating him like a person is quite effective. thistle doesn't realize this consciously; he denies any sort of attachment beyond his family, but yaad is relieved this ill-advised project is allowing him to build a network
a figure known as the Winged Lion, rumored to be an all-powerful diwata, comes knocking at the melinis' door to collect his dues, making tempting offers to the rest of the cast to fulfill their desires at the expense of the family (down the line, marcille and laios decide to make a joint bargain with it)
in spite of his efforts, thistle's conflict with eodio escalates to a breaking point. in an extremely teleserye turn of events, eodio is killed by one of thistle's spells, and thistle's incredibly well-adjusted response to this is to preserve his corpse, stick his soul in a jar in the form of a moth, and add necromancy onto his sorcerous TDL. he winds up carrying this jar around and dedicates significant effort to keeping the moth alive. yaad is super going through it
Holy Week vacation arc feat. beach episode where, after an extended period of family drama, thistle and yaad forgo vacationing with the family to hop on a flight with the toudens and manong senshi to rural mindanao. they touch grass. yaad discloses his personal feelings on the mess and lets himself get a little mad. eodio's jar is there. the chismis back in the city is insane—everyone thinks they got disowned or kidnapped by hooligans
in another extremely teleserye turn of events, there turns out to be a connection between the toudens and the melinis which further complicates the inheritance issue
at some point a boodle fight does happen, just not between the melini clan ;)
might add more details as they come to me in other posts. much to think about, all very fun. the slice of life scenarios have me in a chokehold
#accepting that i won't be able to write every idea i have in story form so no harm in just dumping a bunch here :>#if anything is confusing esp local terms i don't mind clarifying#i think kabru would be here too i just haven't decided what he's doing -- or which of the worlds he's more involved with#if it was the engkanto side of things it'd be really interesting#also at this point delgal being sick/dying/in a coma is just a canon event to me shdjdh#so is thistle and eodio being Doomed as hell#and thistle and yaad being Complicated but ending up reconciling down the line#dunmeshi#dmposting#dm spoilers#melinis#thistle#yaad#touden siblings#laios#falin#toudens party#eodio#roomba writes#teleserye au#philippines
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genuinely though if they continue venom without tom hardy, or without eddie brock, i will blow myself up and not in a good way
#like. you cannot do Venom without eddie brock! AND YOU CANNOT CHANGE THE ACTOR FOR VENOM WITHOUT DOING A UNIVERSE REDDT#*reset#also. you cannot fight knull without venom. YOU CANNOT FIGHT KNULL. WITHOUT VENOM#i think. god what i HOPE happens is that venom finds spiderman in the barman (the barman is. so important for some reason which. yknow)#and venomxnewhost finds spiderman. spiderman gets BLASTED into the SSU because?? who knows honestly#and along the way eddie brock is there and he and venom are reunited#i think the movie will end with either venom and eddie dying for REAL this time (together!) OR it will leave them#..happy? together? they say their goodbyes to spiderman (venom ((of course!)) takes the symbol) and they just. get to live#happily ever after#yknow?#the set-up for the next movie is there and by GOD do i hope they use it. PLEASE#please please PLEASE use it#i dont want them in secret wars i don't want them in the mcu i don't want them in another fucking movie that isn't about them#i want them. one last time. getting reunited. maybe... daring to share a kiss? or at least a forehead touch? yknow? and finally getting#their forever after#because you cannot have venom without eddie brock. and you can't have a new eddie brock without resetting the entire franchise#also the way tom goes from 😄 to 😐 when talking about the ending and back to 😄 when it's about any other part LMAO#anyway#sjonnie.text#venom 3#venom 3 spoilers
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motorcycle sketch featuring cross!! >:)
#art#illustration#utmv#xtale#xtale sans#cross sans#cross!sans#cross#sorry about the empty space at the side hh xD that's where my references were#i mixed so many different motorcycle poses and parts and honestly? i'm so happy with this!!!#i got inspired by a guy riding his (full leather jacket- sleek black helmet and leather pants) in the city and idk it looked so PRETTY!!!#it was the type you see in movies it was so impressive! but he also stood out cause who wears black (LEATHER) jackets in SUMMER??#i was dying in my t-shirt and jeans but i guess the wind blowing while driving would negate the stifling warmth hhh x)#so when i decided to make it i knew i didn't wanna color the piece- nor spend ungodly amounts of time drawing clean-ish lineart#for a machine with sooo many details like damn xD so i went the sketch-y route! comic book style hehehe >;)#if alex sees this then i was also inspired by your killer drawing!! i finally understand how satisfying your sketching method is waa<3333#i would tag you but i'm always unsure if i should unless the au belongs to them/it's fanart so aaa hope you read the tags? muah ty again!!#(btw cross is human here- fem or not is up to interpretation; but then i realized it could kinda be interpreted as a skeleton too soo#just forget the skele knuckles and you have all versions in one piece!! >B)#i couldn't pick which one of the two end results was my fav so you get both versions >;) <333#and not using blurs or effects this times makes me love it even more waa >:'D the only thing i used a layer option for was the watermark!!#like goshh this was so fun to draw hhh hopefully you guys like it too :D <3333
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Have You Met Them Yet
TW: mentions of inversion, character death, implied character death, cursing, guilt blaming (I probly missed some.. please click off if you find something that triggers you!) mentions of characters' actions(good and bad) {I don't know any southern slang- don't execute me..} {the ending feels a little rushed- I'm ngl}
it's my mission to make you cry let me know I how did!
I had a lot of fun writing this.. so um enjoy your readings! (no joking triggers this is a bit more serious than my regular writing style)
I met a person.. My person and of course like most of my relationships in this cursed.. After life. It started on the wrong foot. It seems a lot of stuff starts on the wrong foot nowadays.. Hmm.. Mamaw.. I don’t know why but I called them Darlin’ it just slipped out.. Then I encouraged them to do something stupid instead of telling their alpha. In which he found out later, but for now I'll focus on the beginning, after we met and traded numbers.. I wanted to aid them in the search of that bastard.. I know you’re turning in your grave hearing me curse right now..
And I'm sorry for that memaw.. Speaking of Bright and Fredrick they’re doing better.. I’ve been repairing and trying to compensate for how I acted toward Bright.. I don’t know if the dead can mess with the living.. But I felt you pinch my ear.. Haha. I wouldn’t be surprised- if you alone could.. But southern grandmas are like that. But I'm getting off track, one night I called darlin’ with some information, however when I called. It sounded like they were in pain.. Nowadays these ears don’t miss much- then again, they didn’t miss much back then either... But turns out.. My darlin’ hm.. Got into a fight with some vamps… they survived but got badly injured. They were acting recklessly.. And maybe it was the healer in me- or something else.. But unsurprisingly I practically drilled them with questions and eventually got some answers. That didn’t stop them from making it ten times harder than needed. But you could say I liked that about them. After all, in a way, we were still strangers to each other.
Darlin was badly injured and needed some help and I’m pretty sure they were planning on bleeding out to death on their couch. And honestly, it seemed in character for them. That being said.. It wouldn’t have felt right on my conscious knowing I could’ve helped but sat around doing nothing about it. But I couldn’t just up and leave after all I chose to take responsibility for the newborns at the time. So I pulled some strings and got Vincent to look after them while I stepped out for a bit. You remember Vincent, right? Tall and annoying, with a heart in the right place- when he’s not being a little shit.. And now he’s got backup, that partner of his is just as devious.
Nonetheless, I made my way over there, you know my bedside manner ain’t never been as good as yours Ma. But it got the job done. Hell, I even made a little joke, if they stopped getting themselves in life-threatening situations. I’d improve my bedside manner… and for a while, they didn’t get in trouble. They called me and wanted to meet me. I didn’t know why at the time but they sounded troubled. So I went over, to figure out what was wrong. You know me Ma, putting my head where it doesn’t belong. And once again I put the newborns on Vincent. I’m slowly running out of favors with that boy. What we talked about was less than savory, Blood bonds aren’t rare but when they happen between a wolf and a vampire. After all, we tend to distance ourselves from each other… have I ever explained what a blood bond is to you Ma?
I don’t think so, but whenever a vamp and another vamp come into contact with each other's blood almost always a bond is formed. Between 2 vampires you always know where the other is no matter what. However, between a wolf and a vamp, it’s a little different because of the 2 different types of magic at play. In the rare case that a bond is formed you get something different. You only know the location when the blood is outside of the body. And it seemed my companion, and Quinn formed a bond after their last encounter. And with that in mind. I practically begged them to stay safe, before I could finish my ‘’ friendly ‘’ chat. William called and someone wanted to speak to me. Hah.. I didn’t know David Shaw wanted to speak to me. It was surprising and sightly expected.. I went back to tell them some make-shift excuse, that I had to leave. And when he called I answered- and he asked to speak in person. And I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t intimidated. He’s much bigger in person then what they give him credit for.
Ha.. that night the only question he had for me was ‘’ Is My Pack Member Okay? ‘’ despite Darlin’ not feeling a part of said pack.. They cared about them. David wanted to get the full story/ at the time we only had parts.. David told me his and I told him mine. From what I learned their relationship with Quinn was more than friends if you catch my drift Ma; and my Darlin was done with him when they found out what and how he viewed humans. Not only did Darlin leave him, but they also reported him to the department. In return, he attacked their friend Darlin arrived in time to save them. But Quinn got away- though Darlin fed him the lie Quinn was caught.. He heard about Fred and Bright and got curious.. And surprise surprise the truth came to the light… hm.
David then told me he planned on confronting them that day after all he knew where they lived. I was given a choice- and I chose to warn them… I thought they’d hate me. I don’t know why but I did. But Darlin proved me wrong, they called and invited me over. When I got there they looked like a kicked puppy….Pun unintended.. I’m quite sure I’ve told you the story of Alexis repeatedly.. And god knows.. But because I knew the story of Darlin and Quinn I thought it’d only be fair for them to know the story of Alexis and I. how my descent into the after-after life started.
And next thing I knew we were on the couch and I was staring into their eyes. God their eyes.. Were so fucking beautiful that night. I think that night is when I finally realized I loved them. Maybe it was before that.. I don’t know- but at that moment, I let all those feelings out. And my darlin’ let theirs out. And we fell asleep there on that couch, ( and if you’re wondering it's the same couch they almost bleed out on. ) but back to the story.. The next morning we awoke on the couch snuggled up against each other. And the plan was to hopefully leave before the sun rose. But when you’re with someone you care about you lose sight of time.
I’ll save you some of the sappy details, that you’ve probably been told already.. Ha..- eventually I wanted to make Darlin some food just before our day of comfort and clarity ended. And well- they didn’t have anything and I mean anything. How do you have a fridge full of condiments? But no food.. My Darlin was always a confusing person. But I’m sure they had a good heart.. But before I left I wanted to make sure they had a least a decent meal.. You know me Ma.
I would’ve just taken them to the store… but this damn immortality and practical allergy to the sun. Made that impossible and they wouldn’t have gone on their own. So I pulled out the more reasonable idea and with all this damn tech. You thought it was confusing back then.. But it’s only gotten worse now, like how many iPhones does one person need? Then the whole controller vs pc argument. There's just so much and this old man can’t keep up with it. Darlin tried to help me with it..but the lord bless their heart. But with this little knowledge, have i learned how to use a delivery app. I’ll admit, I struggled a bit- but we got the food Darlin wanted ordered. And wasted the rest of the day cuddling on the couch.. A few days later, I invited Darlin over hopefully I could encourage healthier eating habits. Even if I had to roast them over the fire. At the time they knew what a fully stocked fridge and pantry looked like now. The newborns were finally adjusted in the best way possible.. I don’t think anyone could adjust best in this afterlife especially not the way the 2 of them were brought into it.
Just as the the newborns were getting used to being vamps Darlin was slowly but surely adjusting back to pack life. They used to say knowing they care about me doesn’t help me feel like they care about me.. They were just so used to doing it on their own but they were getting used to everything again.
In a random twist of events, darlin invited me to their pack solstice. You know the whole moon-bound sun-bound shit... We didn’t have to worry about that when we were alive.. After all, freelancers kinda go with the flow.. Nevertheless, I wasn’t expecting to get an invite to their pack solstice.. I didn’t want to invade their fun.. You know? A vamp at an all-wolf party?
I was hesitant till Darlin said David wanted me there. I didn’t want to let him down. Had I not encouraged Darlin to speak up instead of shutting down I probably wouldn’t have gotten the information.
And as much as I wanted to deepen our relationship. Mentally I couldn’t, darlin understood.. They always did. So in the upcoming days, I went to the solstice and well.. It reminded me how anti-social I am.. Ha, Darlin left to go get a drink and I nearly had an anxiety attack. The Shaw pack is good people they still are.. Even now with everything that has happened.. But Asher tried to make me feel comfortable.. And kinda made an ass of himself..
Milo came over as crowd control. And Asher of course made a short joke which in turn made Milo retaliate with an invite to watch Asher get his ass beat. At that moment I didn’t what to say. And eventually, they wandered off.. And David found his way over to me- he was glad I came. And made a joke about Darlin.. I wonder if they went out to in fact fight a bear.. But Darlin came back with a red cup- they went to get a drink we teased each other. And enjoyed the rest of the night.
The inversion is still hard to talk about nowadays.. David almost lost his Best friend.. Vincent’s partner had to give up everything or die.. Maybe at that moment, I felt a small jolt of jealousy.. They had that conversation.. They got the choice I didn’t and the choice bright didn’t get. Maybe in that moment.. I felt selfish.. I.. god.. Ma.. you’d think I was a bad grandson.. It was something.. But my Darlin was right there when that ward went down. They were right there, the look they had on their face was just heartbreaking.. Then again everyone they knew and cared for was trapped inside trapped in inside a ward. And the fucking department was no help. But that wasn’t surprising. Milo’s mate and perhaps a few others are the exception, they know how to do their jobs… and with all that had happened, I just went on a drive.
I just kept driving, Darlin was busy with everything else doing their best to help their family.. Even if they're still adjusting, they can be just as stubborn as me. But when it was my turn to get some of their care- which I wasn’t aware of at the time. They sat outside waiting for an hour for me to get home. So when I pulled back into my driveway and saw them standing there I realized. How much they cared about me, and in that moment after I handed them the key to my house.. I realized just how much time I was wasting, they weren’t going to live forever for this never-ending game of cat and mouse. So when I handed them that key, I gave it my all. I stopped letting the past dictate everything I do. I wouldn’t let losing you, my parents or Alexis ruin what I had in front of me.
And I guess Darlin thought the same. They called me their Mate that night. Hearing that would come out of their mouth was, something different. Knowing something like that and then hearing it come out of someone's mouth hits differently. That night I learned to move on. I learned to accept and grow.. And so did my darlin. And honestly everything was going fine. Till maybe a day or 2 later David called with some information, quinn was supposedly up north.
And as soon as those words left that man's mouth. Darlin shot up like a crack on ice, and when David hung up. They started thinking.. I could it in their eyes. They thinking how far they’d have to go.. How fast they’d get there and how fast they could take him down. I tried my best. Had I not been there, they would have gone after him that night. Had I known any better I’d think they would sneaked out that morning. Hell, they’d get pretty far.. But I should’ve known something was wrong. Maybe.. Just maybe… but I somehow calmed them down. I made them a promise if the department doing do anything.. We’d go after the rat bastard ourselves.. Yeah.. yeah not the smartest thing I could have said in that moment.. But I don’t regret what I said that night. Quinn had caused everyone pain. And he’d been breathing too much and too damn long.
And for the time being, things were fine. Darlin tried to teach me how to play Smash.. If you remember the last time. We talked about Smash, I lost.. Destroyed.. They beat my ass so bad. I never wanted to play that damn curse of a game again. But Darlin offered to teach me. And by teach they meant watching me struggle. And even laughed a little, as I said.. This old man ain’t used to this. After I got my ass beat a few times by the NPCs I won a game against a different group of NPCs.. everyone needs a break from the games.. Like I don’t know if I could take one more micro transition before losing my mind you know?
So introducing Darlin to old-fashioned horror movies seemed like the best way to wind down. My big bad wolf kept getting scared out of their fur.. This time the pun was intended. And at this point, we made a habit of falling asleep on that damn couch. But now I can’t stand looking at that damn thing.. Then again I haven’t ever cleared their stuff out of our home… even now that it’s been months.. I can’t bring myself to do it. We moved in together almost a year and some change ago. And every moment of it was bliss. Once again I’ll save you the sappy details. I'm sure you’re gonna get fed them. And other teasing details. I wouldn’t expect any less from my Darlin. Unsurprisingly I got roped into playing Smash again mainly because Milo wanted a rematch. But like I said the pack is good people, and they need a shoulder to lean on.. As much as I do too. The night went by soundly.. Darlin set me up more than once. Which hurts by the way! But seeing them interact with the pack soundly was amazing.
It was a fun night, but it wasn’t going to last forever.. I wish it did. Over and over.. Day by day.. But no one can change time, no one can fight destiny…. Pun unintended. Maybe a week or 2 darlin got a call from David. After I had to go to work… you already know I work as a restate agent.. Never thought It’d be a path I’d take but here we are.. I wasn’t expecting a lot of things. Quinn had been caught.. He managed to take out 2 of the arresting officers.. But he was brought in, only problem was he had a girl.. And she was on borrowed time.
And the only person he wanted to see was me. He was refusing Darlin's Acknowledgment.. He had already run from them once. Now he was taking this away from them again…but I knew they needed to be in that room. Somehow, they convinced me everything would be fine. That they’d watch from the glass
Every word that left his mouth hurt..like hot iron on the skin if I thought he was a monster before. Hearing him talk about Frederick.. And.. I, that girl was the only thing tying me to that room.. One thing I wasn’t expecting, was for him to air out his.. Romantic life with darlin.. You don’t do that to someone you supposedly love- then again he wouldn’t know what love is even if it slapped him in the face. It felt like hours before he shut up.. God I never wanted to punch someone so badly. Maybe that's a bit of a lie.. I’ve met a lot of people I’ve wanted to punch in the face.
At that moment he just took the cake. I sat there listening to it all cringing.. I wasn’t my Darlin there’s no doubt they thought I was judging them.. I wasn’t. I promise you, the last thing on my mind was judging them. I wanted to leave that room and just hug them, and never let go. Eventually, he shut up.. I guess he realized he wasn’t getting to me. And he told me where that girl was. And with that information, I practically ran through the door.
I needed to get to them. I wrapped them in a hug, they may have fooled the others with their poker face. But I knew. I saw through it like a glass door. I held them close in that moment. Kissed their temple even. I was doing my best.. I wanted them to feel safe. David helped them while I was in the room with him. He did his best. He promised them he’d get Quinn. I should’ve known the damage was done. I should’ve done so much more than what I did... because just maybe.. Had I tried a little more.. Maybe they.. Would’ve had..
They were already going through so much.. And it didn’t get better. After I tried to calm them down and make everything better.. Fucking David called.. With the worst news known to man. The girl was already dead.. She had been for 2 days. All the proof Quinn showed was fake, they were taken before he drained her dry. I was distraught and that creature.. Had taken another life, and his actions would claim another.
Darlin and David told me. Everything wasn’t for nothing at least that girl's family got closure. I know that should’ve been enough.. But it wasn’t and I hate myself for that.. Me and Darlin drove in silence… ha.. You know Ma.. I’m a bit of a crybaby nowadays..
Have you met them yet?.. God, you too would have so much to talk about.. That night when we got home. After David's phone call..we-.. we just needed each other. I hadn’t realized they holding on to so much more than I thought.. People tend to say Stress kills. I just didn’t believe em. Darlin fell asleep in my arms.. They didn’t even try to talk my ears off. They went to sleep with a smile on their face, I should have known.. I.. my Darlin..was gone. I should’ve known.. When their body went cold.. There were so many signs, and I just brushed them off. Had I, just noticed something sooner than I did.. You guys wouldn’t be meeting as fast as you are.. They had so many years left. Darlin.. Hearing that girl didn’t make it. Having to relive everything.. To be exposed like that in front of the people you care about.. You were under so much.. I should’ve done better.. But you can’t take back the past. Only learn from it.
I love you..you brought your light to this darkened cowboy's life. You showed there so much more to life. Then living in the past. So I came here, to tell you both.. I love you more than anything. And I would have loved to give you my last name in due time.
Sam stands and places Red Orchids on the gravestone. As his tears rolled down his face.
‘’ My big bad wolf.. With a heart of gold..’’
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WC: 3.5K (or if you wanna get specific 3504) another thing. the flower choice was very specific
#redacted sam#redacted david#redacted darlin#this entire thing was inspired by First By Chase Matthew#redacted asher#redacted vincent#redacted bright eyes#redacted frederick#andd this is done.. it took a bit out of me.. I couldn't decide on the ending so this wasn't the original ending#i wrote the order of events from memory alone- thats how many times i've listened to Sam#the solstice parts I kept getting mixed up.. sooo yeaaaa hopefully you all like this#Stress kills.#redacted lovely#redacted audio#the other ending ended up with sam dying actually- in which the titled would have been '' reunited ''#im sorry this took so fucking long.. ADHD is a bitch-#redacted angst
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to that anon I got about my last posts: if you're hurt that I'm talking about antisemitism on tumblr rather than the Israel/Palestine conflict itself then you're going to have to make your peace with a star wars blog not being an effective platform for activism.
This is the point I've been trying to hammer home perfectly illustrated. I deviated ever so slightly from what's allowed on the subject to say that I can't participate in this website's idea of 'raising awareness' (distributing real facts and misinfo alike without a care and being a bunch of fanatic Jew haters in the process) and that I don't think I'm able to critically and accurately examine every piece of news that gets passed around here, and you're taking this to assume I don't care. So no, I'm not going to spend my time trying to prove that I do care to that particular crowd.
You're upset with me for not treating this like I did fandom and assuming I value fictional characters more than real people because of it, but it's precisely because this is infinitely more important that I'm not going to be doing real people the disrespect of giving my two cents on their suffering and deaths on the same platform I did STAR WARS.
#You don't know how I feel about the conflict and you can't claim to know#Because I made a point of not getting into it#I have tons of things I'd say and that I'm not saying#precisely because a bunch of sheltered western young adults (which I am) thinking they HAVE to speak out#about things they're primarily exposed to on social media#is how we ended up where we're at on this website#and by the way 'antisemitism is wrong' stands on its own and i don't need to say more no matter the context#and I won't be lectured about how I need to care about innocent people suffering and dying by a website full of raging antisemites#you were never upset about me shutting up on the war for months until I mentioned antisemitism and suddenly my not speaking out is wrong#why do you only care about my silence now and not before?#and why do you take me so seriously that my stepping away is a matter of great disappointment to you?
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